The Whittler

by ROBCakeran53

Rating: teen
Tags: Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Suicide / Self Harm, Violence, Princess Celestia, Death, Human, Sad, Main 6, Drama, Changelings
Length: 79597

After the defeat of Tirek, a special letter arrives with news from a secluded town in the middle of Nowhere. Now the main six are tasked with finding out what happened there, and who this Mister Baker really is.

Equestria is still picking up the pieces after the defeat of Tirek, and everypony is helping out with the paperwork, even Rainbow Dash. Things change when Princess Celestia arrives, bringing with her a letter with some very stunning accusations of the exploits of a resident in the town of Oasis. Now, the main six are tasked with finding out if the letter was truth or fiction. Did this Mister Baker really do what they claim? Only one way to find out.

However, Mister Baker is not who, or what they expected.

Rated Teen for occasional language. Additional tags added for more dark themes.

Proof read and edited by the amazing SunnyPack , Snakeskin Ducktape, and Tyrannosaurus Tux.

Published 2015-02-10 01:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-31 00:30:37 UTC

Speak of the Devil

Author's Note

Apologies for this taking so long, and nothing much really happening. I promise the next chapters will be moving plot along. The ending bit of this chapter just took me a while to organize how I wanted. Thanks again to Sunny Pack and Autumn Wind for the help! You guys are awesome.

Speak of the Devil

Ever since Tirek had come stomping into town, Thomas Baker had found himself in a less than stellar mood. It wasn’t like things were actually going bad, just that they weren’t going right. For instance, once Tirek had been defeated and locked back up, it had taken most of his suppliers two weeks to even return his telegrams. To a degree, that was understandable. Rumor was that in comparison to the damage Manehattan had suffered, Tirek had been tip-toeing through the tulips when he stomped through Oasis.

What it didn’t excuse, was the fact that he had been promised multiple times within two weeks that he would get some much needed supplies delivered, only to find they hadn’t been. There was a lot going on, sure. Everyone, or everypony, was busy with cleaning up the mess. If his suppliers had simply told him the truth, that it would take them time, he would totally understand and work around the delays. Hell, they could have been blunt and said “When we know, you’ll know.”

Thomas found himself marching back into town, pushing with him a wheelbarrow too small for his height, filled with tools and some of his limited hardware stock. He had thought the accidental shipment of roofing nails was a nuisance. Turns out, it’s pretty much the only hardware he’s got left, and he was thankful for the mix up.

His supplier had also forgotten to send somepony to retrieve the nails.

Entering the town proper, with his mind adrift Thomas didn’t notice the random pothole as his wheelbarrow’s single wheel went right into it, jostling his tools and equipment around and causing him to bend down further to compensate.

“Stupid short wheelbarrow.” Thomas scowled.

“Oh, good early afternoon Mister Baker!” Missus Billfold called from the combined post office and Mayor’s office building.

“Hello there Missus Billfold.” Thomas stopped, lowering the wheelbarrow and stretching his arms. “Is Swift in today? I have some telegrams I need wired out.”

“I’m afraid not, Dearie. He’s out on his rounds. You should catch him at your shop if you hurry though, he hasn’t been out long.”

“Thank you, ma’am. I’ll do just that.” Thomas took the wheelbarrow handles and began marching towards home.

Well, his home away from home as he liked to call it.

The other thing that had been souring his mood in the past few weeks had been the townsponies themselves. They all felt as though they owed him something. They would try to help him with his work, but the last time the sheriff helped him the entire building came tumbling down. There was a reason he was the carpenter, and why the mayor was currently held up in the back of the post office. He let his mind wander, keeping up a steady pace with the wheelbarrow, and noticing the ponies out and about.

For a Tuesday afternoon, the town was quite active. Sunny Side’s porch was flooded with ponies, talking and whispering to one another. A couple ponies stopped to stare at him, causing him to suspect the discussion was about, well, him. With a squeak from his wheelbarrow, the entire group of ponies stopped their banter and turned to him. Smiling, waving, not making direct eye contact. Thomas stopped, brow raised, as he swept his gaze through the onlookers.

On a normal day, Thomas would have questioned it. Ponies had used to gawk at him like that years ago, sure, but that was when he was still new in town. He shook his head, continuing on. Right now, he was tired, upset, and frustrated; the townsponies’ odd behaviour were the last thing on his mind.

He sighed. Another three hours wasted today. With any luck, he’d be able to salvage the rest of the day with a couple of his other projects in the shop. After speaking with Swift and getting a couple telegraphs out.

Finally, his shop came into view, the door was ajar and the open sign flipped.

I… don’t remember doing that…

He dropped the wheelbarrow, a tad forcibly, just outside the small porch, then began marching up the steps. A pony quickly dodged out of the doorway; Thomas swore he recognized Swift’s delivery cap on the pony’s head.

He was immediately greeted with over half a dozen ponies, mostly mares, frozen stiff and gawking at him. Honestly? He didn’t much care at the moment. He was exhausted from his three hours of walking for nothing. His eyes lit up, spotting the Sheriff and the Mayor.

“Morning Sheriff, Mayor," Thomas said, then glanced at the mare in front of the group, “Ladies.” He turned back to the mayor. “Mayor, have you seen Swift yet?”

The mayor was visibly shaking, but pointed to the right of Thomas. Thomas looked, seeing the mailpony standing stiff, his hat crooked on his head.

“Oh, good, you’re here. Mail?” Thomas stuck his hand out.

“Oh, uh, y-yes, of course Tom. Here ya go.” The pegasus drew several letters out of his bag with his teeth, gently setting them into the palm of Thomas’ hand.

Why are they so jumpy? “Thanks.” Thomas walked towards the stove, tossing the mail onto the table and grabbing a mug hanging on the wall. He poured himself some coffee. “Also, got a couple telegrams I need you to send out for me.”

“S-sure th-thing, Tom.” The pegasus brought out a notepad and pencil, readying himself to write. Thomas noted that Swift kept looking at the assorted mares, but he shook his head and decided that it was their business. Why they were in his store, he didn’t know, but he might as well be courteous.

“Mayor, Sheriff, want some coffee?” Thomas asked, glancing over his shoulder. Both ponies shook their heads. Thomas shrugged, “How about you ladies?”

In unison, all five-no, six mares, one was hiding behind the orange one, shook their heads.

“Suit yourselves.” He took a seat, sipping at the dark liquid. “Oh, that hit the spot.” He reared the chair back, throwing his feet onto the table edge balancing on two legs. “Okay, first telegram is to Match’s Gas and Oil, Manehattan eight double zero one.”

“Match, need kerosene soon. Stop. Have bits for previous delivery and next. Stop. Also need one kerosene lantern for Farmer Jack, paid in advance. Stop. Reply if unable to deliver by this Friday. Stop. T. Baker. Stop.”

“That all?” Swift asked.

“For that one, yeah.” He took another sip. “Next telegram is to Shanty Shack’s Building Supplies, Manehattan seven one seven seven.”

“Um, excuse me…”

Thomas looked to the mare who spoke, her clean cut and dark purple mane bounced as she took a step forward.

“I’ll be with you in a moment, ma’am.” He turned back to Swift. “Shanty, still no lumber or roof shingles. Stop. You have until this Friday to have my goods delivered or I will march over there and shove my size twelve boot up your tail hole. Stop.”

“Is… that it?” Swift asked.

“Oh, right, sign it T. Baker… Stop.” He took another sip of coffee. “Alright, that’s it. Thanks Swift.”

Swift Delivery looked between the mares and Thomas. He stood rooted to the spot.

“Swift, is there something you need?” Thomas asked.

“N-no, it’s just that, well… I can’t leave,” Swift whispered.

“What? Why?” Thomas noticed him glancing between the mares and himself. He grinned. “Swift, they’re pretty things, but waaaaaaay out of your league.”

Swift sputtered, trying and failing to make words. “Th-that’s not it!” his face became red with crimson, “It’s because apparently I’m under arrest.”

Thomas nearly spat out his coffee, coughing as he leveled his chair back on all four legs. “Arrested? What, you going through ponies mail again?”

“What? No! That was just the one time!”

“Sheriff, why are you arresting Swift?” Thomas’s brow rose, remembering the sheriff’s appearance. “And why are you wearing one of my shirts?”

“Well, as it so turns out, I’m not the one arresting. In fact, all three of us are under arrest.”

Thomas blinked. “Uh, Sheriff, there isn’t anyone with that sort of power to arrest all three of you.”

“Well, Princess Twilight says otherwise.” Sheriff nudged his head towards the purple mare.

“Her?” Thomas looked at Twilight. “On what authority?”

Twilight was caught off guard. “On the authority that I’m a Princess!”

Thomas blinked, staring at her. Within moments he began giggling, and full out laughing as he sat back down into his chair. All the ponies in the room gave him confused looks.

“Woo wee, that’s a good one Sheriff. For a moment there you had me going.”

“Wait, what?” Both Twilight and the sheriff echoed in unison.

“You know, I was having quite the crappy day today, but this has brightened up my spirits. Thanks for the laugh you guys.” Thomas took another drink of his coffee, fully relaxed in his chair.

“Thomas, I’m afraid to spoil your mood, but she is a princess,” the Mayor spoke up.

Thomas lowered his coffee mug, glaring at the purple unicorn. “Isn’t she a bit short for a, what’re they called, Pegacorn?”

“Hey! I resent that!” Twilight stomped a hoof, “and it’s Alicorn!” she finished, flaring her… wings…

Horn and wings… oh-

“Crap,” Thomas said, setting down his coffee mug with a loud clunk. “I thought you said you guys were gonna get rid of her?”

“Well, as it so happened, we were in the process of that before you came barging in!” the Mayor said.

“Actually, we were in the middle of being arrested by a Princess of Equestria.” Swift added.

“Not helping Swift!”

“Okay, hold up.” One of the mares stepped into the fray, her vibrant rainbow mane brushing into her face. “I’m lost here, what exactly is going on?”

Twilight spoke up. “I think that the Mayor, Sheriff, and mail pony—”

“Hey, I had nothing to do with this!”

“—were trying to trick us into leaving before we discovered what Mister Baker really is… whatever he is,” Twilight said, still staring at Thomas.

“Ugh, I do not want to have that discussion again…” Thomas groaned, feigning boredom. He began sifting through his mail.

“You see, Princess Twilight, we weren’t exactly sure how you’d take Thomas’s appearance, so we wanted you to believe he was a pony,” the mayor said.

“And what would lead you to believe that someone’s species would determine how I perceive them?” Twilight asked.

“W-well, I-I’m not exactly sure…” the mayor sputtered.

“Well just look at him, Princess! He’s a six foot tall hairless ape!” the Sheriff called out, pointing an accusing hoof at Thomas.

“Hey, I resent that!” Thomas said, “I’m not balding yet!” He ran his fingers through his hair. You know, just to be sure. Not because somepony said so.

The Sheriff continued. “We honestly had no clue how you’d react to Tom, so we tried to bend the truth a little.”

“A little? You tried impersonating him!” the, for a lack of better term, cowpony pointed at Thomas. “I mean, how do you even do that? Just like ya said, look at ‘im.”

“Applejack’s right, dear,” the white mare spoke up. “I knew right away that shirt of yours wasn’t for a pony, although you do pull off that blue quite well. Goes good with your coat.”

“I’m honestly just relieved you haven’t tried to capture him, or bash him over the head with a club to study on him,” Swift said.

Everypony—and an unimpressed human—all stared at the mail pony.

“Swift, stop putting ideas in their heads and go deliver the damn mail already,” Thomas said, “and send my telegrams.”

“But, the princess, and the arresting, and the—”

“She can’t arrest you, Swift.” Thomas opened one of the envelopes.

“And how do you know that, Mister whatever-you-are?” The rainbow pegasus flew up to Thomas’s face, their noses touching.

“Because, Miss Technicolor, I know for a fact that royalty can only order an investigation, they can’t act directly without confirming the evidence,” Thomas said, pushing back against her and rubbing his nose irritably. “Also, please no flying in my store, you’re going to make a mess of my paperwork.”

“The name’s Rainbow Dash,” she said, striking a quick pose mid-air, then landing back onto the wood floor, “ and that’s the biggest load of—”

“Actually…” Twilight began, scuffing a hoof, her cheeks red with embarrassment, “he’s kinda right.”

“You mean all that fancy talkin’ you did—” Applejack began.

“Was just a ruse, yes,” Twilight lowered her head. “Luna’s been showing me some of her tricks for how she gets her work done,” Twilight then looked back to Thomas. “Which makes me wonder, how did you even know that?”

Thomas lowered the letter he was reading. “Hmm? Oh, I didn’t,” he returned his attention to the letter. “Oh hey Sheriff, Gilded said to say hello and that he’s doing fine.”

“Oh good, glad the Crystal Empire hasn’t worn him dead yet,” the sheriff commented.

Twilight’s left eye twitched. “You… were LYING?”

“Technically,” Thomas folded the letter and placed it back into the envelope. “I was bluffing.”

“Well then, since it seems everything’s alright and Tom is in no immediate danger of becoming a zoo exhibit, I say we leave these young mares to their business with old Tom, eh Mayor?” the Sheriff said, pushing the frazzled pony out the door.

“Well– that is– I don’t think– I mean– we should—”

“Bye Mayor, Sheriff. Nice seein’ y’all this morning.” Thomas waved as the two ponies exited, Swift already gone having probably slipped out once the attention was off of him.

With a nod of his sheriff hat (wait, when did he-?) the two ponies bowed towards Twilight and exited the entry way, leaving Thomas alone with these six mares. Or, as his memory recalled from the letter, Princess Twilight Sparkle and the Elements of Harmony or some mumbo jumbo like that. Just what the hell are the Elements of Harmony?

One of the mares coughed, grabbing Thomas’s attention back to the group. All of them were shuffling around, not directly staring at him, while they examined his wares on the shelves or found a very interesting spot on the floor to look at and study. He continued sifting through his mail, every so often a mare would cough. He’d look up, only to find them biting their lips, unsure what to say.

“So, Mister Baker.” The more elegant mare of the group stepped up, the rest of her friends all letting out a collective sigh.

Thomas sighed too, “Just Thomas, Miss?”

“Just Rarity, darling. Tell me, how much are these shower rings?”

And then at once they all let out a collective groan.

“Seriously Rares, the first question to ask that thing is about shower curtain rings?” Rainbow protested.

“What? I’m trying to break the ice, as it ‘twere.”

“Rainbow Dash! That was rude! He is not a thing, he’s a… um…” Scaredy-pony sunk behind Applejack, avoiding Thomas’s glare.

“Yes, let's start there!” Twilight clopped a hoof on the floor. “What are you?”

“Yeah! What are you, huh huh huh?” A hypered-up pink pony sprang from under Thomas’ table. “Are you a monkey?” She appeared over his left shoulder.

“No.” Thomas groaned.

“A raccoon?”

“No.”

“A narwhal?”

“How did you even come up with that one?”

“Hey, you can’t leave anything out when solving a mystery.” She blew into her bubble pipe.

Thomas threw the rest of the mail back onto the table, giving up the idea of getting through it today.

“It’s just that, no offense, we’ve never seen anything like you before. Ever,” Twilight said. “I do take my research seriously, and I do not recall anything of your form in any of my books.”

“Yeah, and she’s got a lot of books,” Rainbow added, then lowered her ears and whispered, “well, had.”

Thomas sighed, stood, marched over to the counter, and from one of the many racks drew out a large stack of papers, slapping the bound sheets onto the countertop.

“Every question you got for me is in there.” He tapped his finger on the stack.

“What is it?” Twilight levitated the book towards her.

Rarity leaned over Twilight’s shoulder. “Thomas Baker: The Most Interesting Man in the Universe?”

“Sounds like something Rainbow Dash would write,” Applejack teased, gaining a raspberry from Dash.

“I don’t understand, did you write this?”

“Kinda,” Thomas said, walking over to his board. “I got sick of ponies, and gryphons, and whatever else that walked into town asking me the same questions over and over and over again. So Bob and me wrote that.”

“Who’s Bob?” Pinkie asked, but her question went unanswered.

Twilight raised a brow, opening to the first page. “Chapter One: I am a human.” Twilight looked back to Thomas, “What’s a human?”

Thomas rolled his index finger in a circle. Getting the hint Twilight turned the page. “Chapter Two: What is a Human you may ask?”

“Every question you’ll have for me is in that. I have better things to be doing than answering a bunch of dumb questions that have no absolute factor on what’s going on here. So, if you’d all excuse me, I have some work I need to do.” Thomas walked through the Employees Only door.

“Hey, wait a minute buster!” Dash darted for the door, only for it to open and Thomas’ head to stick out.

“Can’t you read? Employees only. You’re not an employee.”

“But we’re not done with you yet! We got some serious questions about—”

“Yeah, yeah, about the saving the town thing, or whatever other wild stories the townsponies told you about me. Look, read that, get the dumb questions answered, then when you’re ready we’ll talk about why these ponies are good-hearted but don’t know when to keep their mouths shut. So until then, toodles.” He slammed the door closed again.

“Well, that was rude.” Rarity said.

Then the door opened again. “Oh, Rarity—”

“Yes?” Rarity asked.

“Those curtain rings are two for a bit, or if you buy ten it’s only four bits. There’s an honor system on the counter if you make up your mind,” Thomas said, then closed the door for good.

“Oh, thank… you?” Rarity stared at the closed door. “Well, maybe not as rude as some, but still a tad.”

“So now what, Twi’?” Applejack asked.

“I guess now we read this,” Twilight waved the massive tome in the air, “then come back later.”

“Ug, we’re gonna be reading that thing for days!” Dash groaned.

“Well, I can just read it while you girls take some time off. Princess Celestia said for us to try and relax a bit while we’re here. She was worried we’ve become overworked,” Twilight looked at a small pamphlet on a rack, something about what sinks are the best choice.

“Now now, you can’t be doin’ all the work. I got an idea,” Applejack started, then glanced behind her.

Quickly, the door closed an inch.

Applejack grinned. “I’ll discuss it with ya’ll back in our room.”

“Alright, sounds like a plan then.” Rainbow Dash said.

“Ug, I’m huuuuuungry. Can we go now?” The bouncy pony said.

“Yes, Pinkie, let’s go. Sunny Side did say something about getting back before food got cold.” Twilight said, leading her entourage out of Thomas’s shop.

As the last mare walked through the doorway, Thomas crept out of from behind the door, giving a heavy sigh as he leaned on the frame.

“This is gonna be one of those weeks… I can tell.”

Twilight and the rest of her friends walked through the town street. As they passed by each building, ponies would stop and bow, nod their heads, tip their hats, most of them even adding a ‘hello’ or ‘good afternoon’.

“These ponies all seem real nice,” Fluttershy said from the middle of the group.

“They sure do seem pretty easy goin’, if Sunny Side was anything to go by,” Applejack said.

“Yeah, or liars like the Mayor and Sheriff,” Rainbow Dash said.

“You have ta admit, Dash, they had a pretty fair reason for what they did. They just didn’t execute it quite so well,” Applejack said.

“They still could have just told us the truth. I mean, it’s not like Mister Baker is some sort of monster or anything. He’s just a completely foreign species that we’ve never seen or heard of before,” Twilight flipped the page of the book Thomas has given her.

“So, Applejack,” Rarity started, getting her friends attention, “what exactly is this plan of yours? I assume it’s something that Mister Baker would not like?”

“You guessed right there, Rares. How I see it, we give Twi’ some time to read that there brick of a book while the rest of us spend some time with ‘Old Tom’.”

Rainbow wheeled around. “Oh, I get it! Like a roundabout interrogation!”

“Oh oh! I’m good at those!” Pinkie continued, jumping along.

“All we gotta do is just tag along with him, two at a time so we don’t overwhelm him or nothin’. Last thing we wanna do is make him think we’re pokin’ him for info. We wanna seem like we’re just interested in what he does, talk with him some.”

Twilight stopped, looking away from the book. “I have to say Applejack, that’s a pretty clever plan.”

Applejack looked to the now barren porch of Sunny Side’s Inn. “Well, Sunny said it herself, the feller likes to keep to himself. So maybe if a couple of us tag along with him for a bit, maybe he’ll open up to us once he gets to know us.”

“Well, enough of the planning for now, I’m hungry!” Rainbow sniffed the air. “And man does that smell good!”

“I want some yummy in my tummy!” Pinkie said, bouncing up the porch.

“We should eat, then get our rooms situated. I suspect we will be sharing a couple rooms.” Rarity was next up the porch.

“I’m down for that. You and me, AJ?” Rainbow Dash asked as she flew up onto the porch ahead of Rarity.

Applejack was close behind. “Sounds a’right to me, Dash.”

The four mares walked inside, talking with each other while the remaining two stayed outside. Fluttershy couldn’t help but notice Twilight idly staring back towards what she presumed was Mister Baker’s shop.

“Um, Twilight?” Fluttershy whispered.

Twilight blinked, shaking her head and looking at her friend, “Yes, Fluttershy?”

“I was just wondering, are you, um, okay?”

“Oh yeah, sure.” Twilight looked back down the street again.

“Are you sure? You’ve been glancing back at Mister— I mean, Thomas’s shop since we left.”

Twilight sighed, sitting down and laying the book beside her. “This just doesn’t make any sense, Fluttershy. A completely new species, intelligent and capable of communication and apparent literacy, if this book is anything to go by, and he’s been here for Celestia knows how long. Nopony ever stopping to question it or bring it to attention. What if he was dangerous? What if he did something bad before coming here? What if—”

Fluttershy rested a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Twilight, I think that if there was any problems, these ponies would have done what they thought was right. And who knows, maybe they did. If he did do anything before, he’s apparently been accepted by these ponies because of what he has done for the good, not the bad. So before you go worrying about that stuff, I think we just need to get to know him more, like with Applejack’s plan.”

Twilight smiled. “Thank you, Fluttershy. That’s what I needed to hear.” She stood up. “If Thomas has been here for a number of years as previous stated, and the ponies aren’t running away in fear of him, then we shouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

Fluttershy smiled, nodding in agreement.

“Well, I think we should go join the others now. I’m sure they’re sick of waiting for us.” Twilight grabbed the book and began up the steps with Fluttershy close behind.

The two mares walked through the open doorway and were immediately greeted by several sensations at once smacking their faces. While the main dining room of Sunny Sides was barren except for three stallions playing poker in a corner and Twilight’s friends in the middle giggling to themselves, she noticed on the bar the earlier mentioned only radio in town playing some sort of country song, something that was easy to spot Applejack tapping her hooves to match the beat.

The next thing to greet her was the smells. While the poker playing ponies’ cigars were a turn off, and by Equestrian law illegal, the food aromas coming from the kitchen behind the bar were enough to keep a pony from turning around and leaving right away.

“Twilight! Fluttershy, come over here, quick!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, waving her hoof.

Twilight and Fluttershy each took a seat with their friends, all of whom wearing big grins.

“What’s the matter?” Twilight asked, curious.

“Oh, you are not gonna believe this, Twi,” Applejack snickered, then, “Oh waitress, ma’am, we need two more glasses of water if ya could!”

“And another Sarsaparilla please!” Pinkie added with a belch.

There was a groan from the other side of the room. “Coming right up,” she said, reluctantly.

Twilight’s ears perked up. “I recognize that voice…” Twilight began, but didn’t have to wait long.

A light blue mare with a blue and silver mane walked up to the table. Trixie Lulamoon wore a smile as forced as the frills on her apron. As her eyes met Twilight, her smile died and morphed into a scowl as she trudged over while levitating with her a serving tray with two glasses of water and a bottle of sarsaparilla. She placed them down with a clink that was somewhere between painfully polite and exasperated.

Twilight continued to gawk at Trixie, who returned the stare with an unimpressed look of her own.

“You can laugh, you know. Your friends didn’t waste any time to,” Trixie glanced morosely at a snickering Rainbow Dash.

Twilight blinked. “What? Why would I laugh? I’m more shocked you’re even here.”

“Well, a traveling performer has to have a few back ups, doesn’t she? After that whole Alicorn Amulet debacle, Trixie headed West. Trixie frequents this town as a rest stop, plus she’s still waiting on her wagon to be finished by that bonehead of a carpenter.”

“You mean Thomas?” Fluttershy asked.

“The big tall dummy on two legs? Yeah, him,” Trixie said.

“What’s your gripe with him?” Twilight asked.

“Trixie’s gripe is that he still hasn’t given Trixie her carriage! He expects Trixie to pay him now. How can Trixie pay him when she needs it to make the money to pay him? So now, Trixie’s stuck here, working for Miss Sunshine and her mute husband, making half what she would if she were out there performing!” Trixie said, adjusting her apron. “So, enough of the chit chat, Trixie’s already a half hour over her shift time, so what do you all want to eat?”

“We are all set, dear. Just Twilight and Fluttershy need to go through the menu,” Rarity levitated menus to the two.

Twilight took her menu, opening it up. It was broken into three categories, which caused Twilight to make a double take.

Herbivore.

Omnivore.

Carnivore.

Twilight just stared at the menu for several moments, thoughts bouncing around in her head like an out of control pinball.

“Trixie doesn’t have all night, you know,” Trixie said, one of her forehooves tapping on the floor.

“Uh, actually, I’m not that hungry right now. Just a small order of hay fries is fine.” Twilight levitated her menu to Trixie.

“Very well.” She took the menus, then began marching back towards the bar. “Bob! Order up!” she shouted, slapping the ticket onto a small window sill behind the bar.

“You saw it too, didn’t you?” Fluttershy asked.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“The menu.”

“Oh, yeah, it just caught me off guard.”

Rainbow put down her hayburger. “Eh, relax egg-head. I was around Gilda enough back in the day to know not everyone can just eat hay and grass.”

“That’s true. Mister Baker did say something about other species frequenting this town, so it’s not all that shocking really,” Rarity said, taking a sip of her water.

“It wasn’t just that, but there was a section for carnivores. Strictly meat eaters. What if that’s for Tom?” Twilight asked.

Rarity wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Well, I’ll be sure to ask him when Fluttershy and I go visit tomorrow.”

“Wait, what?” Fluttershy squeaked.

“Yeah, I’m with Fluttershy, what?” Rainbow Dash eyed Rarity dangerously.

“Well, it’s very simple, darling. Out of our group of merry mares, Fluttershy and I are the most qualified to handle this.”

Everypony blinked, just gawking at Rarity.

“You just want those shower curtain rings, don’t you?” Applejack asked.

Rarity coughed.

“But, um, why me?” Fluttershy asked.

“Why, to answer Twilights question of course! You’re the animal expert, you can probably decipher his eating habits by just talking to him. Not only that, if he is a meat eater, you can relate with him and get him talking. Harry frequents meat, does he not?”

“Well, I guess that’s true.” Fluttershy rubbed her hoof on the table top.

“Dang nab it!”

All six mares turned towards the poker playing ponies.

“Full house again! You’re cheatin’, I know it,” a black earth pony said, throwing his cards hard onto the table.

“You’ve been sayin’ that for twenty years, and you’ve yet to prove that.” A brown unicorn, the apparent winner, began raking in his winnings.

“Eeyup,” a grey pegasus said, taking a puff from his cigar.

There was then a bell ring, and within moments Trixie served the mares their orders.

“Anything else? Or can Trixie finally take this stupid apron off?”

Pinkie waggled her empty Sarsaparilla bottle.

“We’re out.”

“Awww…”

“I think we’re set Trixie, thank you,” Twilight said.

“Hm, right, well… you're welcome, Trixie guesses,” Trixie walked away. “Bob, Trixie is out! If they need anything, it’s on you.”

The bell rang.

“What is it now?”

The bell rang again, and a black hoof held up a dirty plate from the serving window.

“Seriously?! Dishes? Trixie hates this job.”

As Trixie marched into the kitchen, Sunny Side appeared from the top of the upstairs balcony.

“Well, howdy there dearies! I see you’re just in time for the last grub call before we close the kitchen down for the night. How’s the food?”

“Oh, it’s just wonderful, thank you Sunny,” Fluttershy said.

“Yeah, I hafta admit, ya came darn close to my Granny Smith’s pot pie recipe here.”

“Well, we try our darndest. Now, I’ve just finished setting up your rooms. You’ll be having to share two for the time being, if that’s alright.”

“Oh, that’s fine. Are you that busy?”

Sunny turned to Twilight. “No, how I wish that were the case. It’s just that we’ve been having issues with the plumbing, and Old Tom ain’t had the chance to get it fixed yet. Poor guy has been buried in work for the last few weeks now.” Sunny sighed.

“I reckon so. We saw the board in his shop,” Applejack said.

“Eeyup. He finds a lot of ways to keep himself busy,” Sunny said. “Hopefully once Tom gets a couple of his tasks caught up, he’ll be working on the plumbing next.”

“I’m surprised he’s not doing it now. Isn’t this affecting your business?” Twilight asked.

“Well, truth is deary, we don’t get much business with the hotel side of things. Most of these ponies in town have shacks somewhere around town. I went ahead and told Tom to get his more important jobs caught up first, then he could come over and work.”

“What does he have that’s so urgent?” Applejack asked.

Sunny shook her head slowly. “He’s been working on Golden Amethyst’s house with most of his spare time.”

“Is her home the one that was destroyed by Tirek?” Rarity asked.

“Yes, it was. Even before then, it couldn’t really be called a home. I used the term shack literally, deary.”

“Why are they living in such poor conditions?” Fluttershy asked.

“Well, see the thing is, a lot of these ponies didn’t have much of anything. They literally wandered into town with empty saddlebags and rusted horseshoes. This town has been their last chance to start anew and fix themselves. They build their shacks out of whatever materials they can come across or barely afford.”

“That’s terrible,” Twilight said.

“Tom has been trying his hardest to help them out. He’s been going around on his free time to help strengthen walls, fix leaky roofs, even give them a solid floor versus just the dirt.”

“What makes Golden Amethyst’s situation more dire to get an entire new house then?” Rarity asked.

“Well, her husband recently got accepted into the Royal Guard and is currently in the Crystal Empire helpin’ with whatever’s goin’ on there. Tom told him he’d make sure to look after her, especially after she had their first foal about eight months ago. She’s such a pretty little angel.”

“My word, no wonder it’s taken such priority,” Rarity said.

“Once he got it livable, they moved in, and Tom’s been working on the cosmetics as he gets supplies replenished.”

“Wow, he seems to be doing a lot for this town,” Fluttershy said.

“Heh, yeah, he thinks he owes us somethin’.”

“Why do you say that?” Twilight asked.

“Well, if it wasn’t for the Fixits he’d be an outcast. They opened up their home to him, and with Mister Fixit being the town’s carpenter at the time, it was a perfect fit. Tom worked for Mister Fixit in his shop and around town. But it’s mostly because–”

“Duster… yer cheatin’.”

Twilight and her friends turned around to the three poker playing ponies, while Sunny Side just sighed.

“There’s only fifty one cards in this deck,” the black earth pony said, holding the deck in a hoof.

“Now how in Tartarus do you know that?” the brown unicorn shot back.

“Because the deck’s lighter,” the earth pony said, lifting his hoof up and down with the deck still perfectly balanced.

“There is no way you can tell that just by holdin’ it in yer hoof.”

The earth pony slammed the deck onto the table in front of the pegasus. “Count ‘em.”

“Ugh, here we go again; excuse me dearies,” Sunny Side trotted over. “Alright boys, that’s enough for the night.”

“But Sunny–”

“Eenope! I don’t wanna hear none of it. It’s bad enough I’ve been dealin’ with yer arguin’ for the last twenty years, but to do it in front of a princess and her friends!”

“Wait, we still have a princess?” the pegasus asked, looking over to Twilight’s table. “I don’t remember Celestia being purple,” he put on a pair of glasses, “or so short.”

Twilight slammed her head on the table, along with letting out a frustrated groan. Trixie chose this particular time to step out of the kitchen, her face speckled with dirt.

“Trix, darlin’, one last favor. Could you show the princess ‘nd her friends to their rooms while I take care of these three louts?”

“Louts? We ain’t no louts, we’re payin’ customers!”

“Havin’ a fifty bit bar tab ain’t a payin’ customer!” Sunny argued. “Out!”

Trixie looked to Twilight and her friends, all with varying expressions. Oddly enough, Trixie shared Twilight’s as she too let out a groan of frustration; the radio sharing her sentiments.

“Trixie hates this town…”

See no Evil, Part 1

Author's Note

As the chapter title says, this is only part one of See no Evil. To put everything I want to involving a pair of the mane six with Thomas, it's a lot of words, as you can see by the near seven thousand in this half alone. Don't fret! There won't be cliff hangars for these. The idea is for each pair of mane six who follow Thomas around, that chapter will be broken up into two parts. With any luck, there you should see mood changes and opinions conflict for the characters. If not, then I'm doing everything wrong and why do I even write?

See no Evil, Part 1

Rarity and Fluttershy walked down the stairs to the main dining room of Sunny Side’s. Already there were several ponies enjoying their morning breakfast.

“Well, hello dearies. You sleep well?” Sunny Side asked from behind the bar.

“As well as we could, yes.” Rarity rolled her shoulder. “I didn’t know ponies still used straw mattresses.”

“I slept just fine, thank you Sunny.”

Rarity rolled her eyes at Fluttershy.

“Is everypony else joining you gals for breakfast, or should I just go ahead and get you two started?” Sunny grabbed a couple of menus.

Most of the tables were taken, the only few being too small for six ponies. Luckily the bar was still clear, so Fluttershy and Rarity took seats there.

Rarity took one of the menus, looking it over. “They should be down shortly. Twilight was up quite late reading that massive book Thomas gave her.”

“Yeah, him and Bob went all out on that thing.”

“Bob? He’s your husband, right?” Fluttershy asked.

“Eeyup. Six years this last month. What a horrible way to spend our anniversary.” Sunny flipped through a notepad. “So, what can I get ya then?”

“A cup of soup sounds fine with me,” Rarity said, placing down her menu.

“The same for me, please.” Fluttershy did the same.

“Today’s special is split pea soup. Hope that’s good for ya’s.” Sunny returned the menus to the rack.

“Just fine, thank you.”

“Order up, Bobby~” Sunny called through the service window.

A black hoof grabbed the ticket, then disappeared again.

“So, your husband, he’s the chef?” Rarity asked.

Sunny chuckled. “I wouldn’t go so far as to say chef—”

There was a harumph from the kitchen.

Sunny cracked a grin. “—but yeah, he does most of the cookin’. Also runs the bar on the weekends. Most of the drunks know better than to try and stiff a stallion easily twice their size.”

“Sounds a lot like my brother.”

Their conversation was interrupted as they turned to see Pinkie Pie bounding down the stairs with an impossible cartwheel. She was shortly followed by a frazzled Rainbow Dash who looked like she had just woken up, and finally Applejack, helping a reluctant Twilight clamber down the remaining steps.

“At the family reunions my big brother, Big Macintosh, hoofs out the booze and cider for the adults.” Applejack grinned at Sunny, and took a seat on the opposite side of the bar.

“Well, at least that’s family. Here I’m just dealin’ with a bunch of slacker-good-for-nothin’s who think complimenting my good figure will get them out of paying their bar tabs.”

They heard a chuckle from the kitchen.

“Oh hush you.” Sunny threw a towel through the service window. “Anyway, what would the rest of you like for breakfast this mornin’? These two early birds have caught the split pea soup, our breakfast special.”

“Split pea soup? First that veggie pot pie, and now split pea soup? It’s almost as if yer just tryin’ to make me home sick,” Applejack said.

“Well, I could always use some of those apples on that tree you done brought.”

Applejack blinked, then her eyes went wide. “Oh gosh, I completely forgot about the apple tree! With everything that happened yesterday, well, I had a lot goin’ on in my head.”

“We all did, Applejack.” Rarity said.

There was a ding from the service window. Carefully, Sunny placed a cup of soup in front of Fluttershy and Rarity.

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. “Mmmm, that does look good.”

“Tell me about it! I’ll have two bowls of that!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Everypony looked to her.

“What? I’m hungry.”

“Bob, three more cups, and two bowls,” Sunny shouted back, then turned back to Applejack. “Don’t you worry none about that tree Applejack. Bob got it set up and watered it just this mornin’.”

“Well then, thank ya Bob!” Applejack called out. “That there tree is for the town anyways, so have at those apples all you want.”

A black hoof waved in the window, piquing Applejack’s attention. She squinted to see it better, but the hoof had already gone out of sight.

“That’s mighty gracious of you Applejack, thank ya,” Sunny said, then turned towards the alicorn sitting in the middle of the group, “So, how’s the book coming along?”

Twilight looked up. “Hm? Oh, it’s… interesting, to say the least. There’s a lot here I don’t rightfully understand. More so that just doesn’t make any sense. Something in the beginning, about a ‘Big Bang’ is ridiculous, like something Discord would make up.”

“Well, Tom ain’t from around here. A lot of things about him don’t make much sense.”

“Like what?”

Sunny chuckled, “You'll see.”

Twilight groaned, slamming her face into the book at the frustrating response.

Rarity set her spoon beside the now empty cup. “I must say, the soup was excellent Sunny. My compliments to the chef.”

“Hear that Bob? You got a compliment!”

Bob’s hoof smacked the bell a few times in a mock applause.

Applejack glared at Bob’s hoof. Somethin’ don’t seem right, but what is it?

“Well, Fluttershy and I must be off. Sunny, would Thomas be up by now?”

“You kiddin’? He’s the earliest bird in town! There’s a reason we don’t got no worms left.”

“He eats worms?” Pinkie Pie asked.

Again, everypony stared at her.

“What? It’s a serious question.”

“Yer not plannin’ on arrestin’ him, are ya?” Sunny asked.

“Oh, you heard about that?” Twilight asked, ears flat.

“Hard not to. You spooked the mayor and Swift so bad they ain’t left their building since last night.”

Twilight sighed. “I should go apologize for all that.”

“What about the sheriff?” Rainbow asked.

“Copper Top?” Sunny laughed. “It takes more than just bein’ a princess to spook that ol’ bastard.”

Twilight cringed at the profanity, but let it slide.

“Come along now, Fluttershy. We don’t have all day. I’d like to have a fresh start with Mister Baker.” Rarity stood from her seat.

“Oh, if I must…” Fluttershy crawled down from her stool.

“You girls goin’ to see Tom?” Sunny asked. “Even after he gave you the book?”

“You speak of it as it’s a bad thing,” Rarity said.

“Nopony’s ever read the entire thing before, truthfully. With the exception of Bob, but that’s only because he helped write it.”

“Because it’s so long?” Rainbow asked.

“Because it’s so boring,” Sunny said.

The previously thrown towel smacked the back of Sunny’s head.

“It’s not our fault you write so boring, Bob.”

“I don’t find it boring at all, actually,” Twilight said. “In fact, it’s quite thoroughly detailed, goes into aspects of Thomas’s culture that are quite interesting, like how being naked is a taboo unless you’re a nudist or on a beach, sometimes both.”

“Like I said, boring.” Sunny set the towel on the counter. “Well, if you gals are goin’ to see Tom, I might as well accompany you. In case he gets the idea of slammin’ his door on yer faces.”

“Oh, well that would be most appreciated, Sunny,” Rarity said.

“Bob will bring out your soup when he’s done.” Sunny walked around the edge of the bar, joining Rarity and Fluttershy as they walked. “I’ll be back in a bit, Bob! Try not to get arrested!”

The black hoof in the service window gave a lazy wave before disappearing. Again, Applejack glared through the service window, an uneasy feeling settling in her gut.

After the three mares left, Applejack turned to face her friends, shaking off her previous worries. “So, Twi, makin’ any progress? I know yer gettin’ info outta it, but I mean, anythin’ useful?”

Twilight didn’t take her eyes off the book as she spoke. “It’s very helpful for understanding his culture, but him personally? I’m getting nothing. This is written more akin to an encyclopedia than an autobiography.”

“So you’re saying it’s useless then.” Rainbow stared at the book with a bored expression, her chin resting on her hoof.

Twilight finally looked up from the book and to Dash. “I wouldn’t say that, but a lot of what’s in here gives me pause to believe a single word of it. It speaks of ‘advanced technology’ and ‘machines’ and ‘fossil fuels’ and on, and on, and on. It’s a lot to take in, especially with no prior knowledge of any of this.” A black hoof placed a cup of hot soup in front of Twilight. “Oh, thank you,” Twilight looked back to the book.

“Although I’m only a quarter of the way through this book, I can safely say that if any of this is real, then Mister Baker isn’t even from Equestria. I’ve done extensive research into the other lands outside of ours, and none of them even match up to this place he talks about, The United States, or to the North, Canada.”

Twilight raised the spoon with her magic, dipped it into her cup of soup, blew on it, and took a taste. “Oh wow, this is good,” she glanced back to Rainbow Dash. “And then I’m finding a number of similarities. We both have electricity, although compared to the examples in the book, ours is still quite primitive. We both have steam operated locomotives, although theirs are more museum pieces and their more modern ones rely on electric and ‘diesel’, whatever that is.”

Twilight took another spoon of soup. “Wow, this is really good. Applejack, your family might have some serious competition,” she teased, looking over to her friend. It only now dawned on her how quiet they were all being; she’d at least expected Dash to be snoring by now. Applejack was staring straight ahead, eyes narrowed. She hadn’t even touched her soup yet. Pinkie Pie beside her was already on her second bowl.

She turned to her left, where Dash had begun to eat, but now shared a similar expression as Applejack. “Girls, what’s wrong?” Twilight stared straight ahead.

The changeling paid them little attention as he picked up a dirty shot glass, spat into it, then wiped it clean and placed it onto a rack with more “clean” ones. He grabbed another dirty glass, turning to meet the shocked, terrified, and even possibly hostile faces of three mares. He didn’t have a smile to begin with, but his neutral expression shifted into a frown.

So naturally it was up to Pinkie to break the awkward silence.

“Bobby, can I have another bowl please?”

Rarity and Fluttershy let Sunny Side lead them to Thomas’ workshop, keeping up idle conversation about this and that. Any questions directed about Tom were shot down like usual, so Rarity had tried going another route.

“So, how long have your husband and Thomas been friends?”

Sunny actually stopped for a second, looking back at Rarity, mentally judging if this was some sort of trick to spill any info on the carpenter. “Eight years, if memory serves me. Why?”

“Well, Bob helped Thomas write his book, no? I figured they must have been friends for quite a while then.”

“How do ya figure?”

“That’s a pretty big book, and well put together. Must have taken a while to complete.”

“Three years, actually.” Sunny began walking again. “Bob’s quite the perfectionist when it comes to anything literary. It was Bob who even gave Ol’ Tom the idea to make it.”

“So they’re good friends I take it?”

Sunny sighed. “Best of friends, actually. They’ve both gone through some rough spots, but they helped one another through them.”

“Really now?” Rarity glanced to Fluttershy, who was looking at the dirt road as they walked.

“Tom were only here for a couple years when they met. By then most of us townsfolk had accepted Tom as one of our own, took a bit longer for Bobby though. Tom helped speed that up, havin’ him help out with whatever jobs Mister Fixit tasked him with.”

“Mister Fixit was the previous owner of the shop, correct?” Rarity asked.

“Eeyup. The Fixit’s were the only ponies that would take Tom in at the time. It were quite the coincidence that Tom himself were a carpenter and plumber, somethin’ about his old job before he came here. So he fit in naturally with them. He had a special fondness of Missus Fixit though; wouldn’t do anything brash or improper around her. The second she walked out he’d strangle ya for whatever dumb thing you did to insult him or the Fixit’s,” Sunny chuckled.

“You mean that figuratively, right?” Rarity asked.

“Eh. Tom’s had a few scraps in his time. If you got him mad enough he’d kick your flank. Whenever there’s trouble in town that warrants muscle we get Tom ‘nd Bob to handle it. Between the two everything sorts out,” Sunny let out a long sigh, “or at least, ninety nine percent of the time.”

“Tirek?” Fluttershy meekly asked.

Sunny spit onto the road. “Yeah, him.”

The three ponies approached the porch steps, Sunny stopping at them as she turned back to Rarity and Fluttershy.

“So, what is it you’re tryin’ to accomplish then?”

“With Thomas?”

“Yeah.”

Rarity smiled. “Well, you ponies wanted Thomas to receive reimbursement for his used supplies to fix the town. So we need to see if he’s capable of doing it, if he did it, and then how much he’s done to write up the estimate.”

Fluttershy looked at Rarity, brow raised. Rarity rolled her eyes.

“There are some benefits to sharing a room with Twilight… albeit few.”

Rarity turned back to Sunny. “And then there’s the whole medal debate. Not everypony can get one. They’re reserved for ponies, or whomever, does something grand or heroic that benefits everyone but themselves.”

“So yer gonna judge his character?” Both mares nodded; Sunny laughed. “Welp, he’s screwed.”

Rarity and Fluttershy’s jaws slacked as Sunny Side marched up the steps and walked through the propped open door. Rarity and Fluttershy took a few extra seconds to recover, then quickly dashed to catch up. The place was pretty much the same as yesterday, although there was a standing note on the counter, advising that he was away and to come back later.

Sunny Side knew better, walking up to the Employees Only door and entering. She held it open, expecting her two followers to join her.

Rarity had been expecting some sort of storage room, where he had his boxes and extra parts and such stored. Instead, they entered what looked like a wood shop class, with half a dozen workbenches, each having a different project on them in various stages of completion. One held a dining chair, clamps still holding parts together as the glue dried. Another held a rocking chair, looking to have just been lacquered.

The baby crib caught Rarity’s attention the most. Sunny marched towards the back of the shop, calling Tom’s name while Rarity and Fluttershy hung back. Rarity walked up to the crib, inspecting the detail put into it. Unique carvings were etched along each baluster, similar to Sunny’s porch, only much finer.

There, pinned to the back of the bench, was a old black and white photo, aged with time. A mother and her foal, the latter in a crib that matched this one to a tee, although missing the detailed artwork like in the photo. Rarity was just about to ask Fluttershy to take a look when the door they’d just come through opened and a slightly annoyed Mister Baker walked through, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and a knife-like tool in the other.

Needless to say, Fluttershy’s quick decision to hide under one of the benches was well warranted. Rarity would have joined her had the floor been a bit cleaner.

Thomas walked past, not even looking to his side as he slowly walked to the back of the room and set down his mug on one of the farther benches, with the clamped chair. He reached over and pushed a button on a black box, and it put out some of the most soothing guitar strings Rarity had heard in quite a while. Then the vocals started.

It was a radio, although looking a lot more modern than the one in Sunny Sides bar. It didn’t take a minute to warm up. The sound had no background static, or any tendency to fade in and out like most radios. The music was crisp and clean.

Thomas smiled at the radio, then with the tool in hand, he began working on the back of the chair. Rarity then realized it wasn’t a knife, but a file of some sort for smoothing out the grooves that were carved into the chair. Fluttershy crawled out out from under the bench, her fur covered in sawdust, her ears twitching to the music. Before long the two were gently swaying, the music soothing and proud all at once.

It was the perfect timing for Sunny to disrupt the calmness as she marched into the room from another doorway.

Three things happened all at once: Thomas jumped, knocking over his cup of coffee onto the floor with a shatter. The radio let out a skip, making a grinding noise before picking the song back up a few seconds prior. And Fluttershy was back under the bench.

“Oh, there ya are Tom! I were lookin’ fer ya.”

Thomas was holding a hand to his chest, the other gripping the wood tool in a death grip.

“Jesus Christ, Sunny. What the hell?” Thomas let out a breath, taking the hand on his chest and running it through his hair.

“Well, had ta make sure that black heart of yers was still pumpin’ yer sorry excuse of blood.” Sunny chuckled.

“Oh ha ha, very funny.” Thomas looked down to the shattered mug and spilled coffee. He hit a button on his radio, turning it off, then glared back at Sunny. “What do I owe the honor of this visit so early in the morning? Aren’t you busy serving breakfast?”

“Bobby’s handlin’ it.”

Thomas blinked, staring at Sunny like she was an idiot. “You left Bob alone, running the place, with a princess of Equestria? Sunny, I’m not saying that’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard of you doing, you married Bob after all, but still.”

“Aw, he’ll be fine.”

A thunderous boom shook the building, causing sawdust to drift from the hanging light fixtures and a couple stray objects to fall off the benches.

Thomas frowned.

“Okay, maybe not. I should probably get back there before I find a castrated husband.”

“I think castration is the least of his worries, especially being married to you.”

Sunny smacked Tom’s leg with her tail as she rushed by. “Oh Tom, how I’d just love to poison your breakfast one morning.”

“At least it would add flavor to your cooking!”

Sunny laughed, then turned to Rarity. “You’ll be fine dearies. Have fun!” Sunny ran out the door.

It was then Rarity realized that Thomas was glaring in her general direction.

“Oh, um, hello again, Mister Baker.”

“It’s just Thomas, Miss Rarity.”

“Then it’s just Rarity, Thomas.”

The two held glares for a few more seconds, before Fluttershy’s meek return from under the bench made Thomas shift his glare.

“Oh joy, two of you. Any more of you hiding in here?” Thomas looked under the bench he had been working on.

“No, Thomas, just us. We came by to see if there was anything we could help with, right Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy nodded meekly.

Thomas’ expression lightened. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m good, thanks.”

“Well, you must be backed up with work, judging by your board. I may not be a master carpenter like yourself, but I have dabbled in woodwork for a few clients in my time.”

Thomas walked to another corner of the room, grabbing a broom and dust pan. “If I wanted any help I’d have hired some.”

Thomas turned around, and already Rarity was using a rag in her magic to mop up the spilled coffee. He could only hope she hadn’t grabbed one of his clean rags.

“Then maybe you need some of your clothes tailored?”

“We have a tailor, I’m good.”

“Well perhaps—”

Thomas held up a finger. “Look, I know what you’re trying to do and failing. You can quit beating around the bush and get to the point.”

Rarity’s ears flattened. “Well, that is, we wanted to know… about a certain aspect of your species.”

“I gave you the book, you can look it up.”

“Well, it was worrying to Twilight, and she hadn’t found the answer yet.”

“Well when she does find it then she can calm down and quit having her friends try and get the info out of me.” Thomas began sweeping the bits of porcelain, now dry thanks to Rarity.

While the two bickered, Fluttershy had come closer, closely examining Thomas as he talked. Finally, she stepped right up to him while he was kneeled down sweeping the bits into the dust pan.

“Open your mouth, please.”

Rarity and Thomas immediately fell into silence, looking to the pegasus with confusion.

“I’m sorry?” Thomas asked, more shocked than upset.

“Um, if you don’t mind, I’d like to see your teeth, please,” Fluttershy asked.

Thomas looked back to Rarity with a quizzical look. She shrugged. Thomas rolled his eyes, then opened his mouth. Fluttershy peeked into his mouth, then nodded.

“Thank you, that answers my question.”

“Was that all? You don’t need me to drop my pants and cough?”

Fluttershy blushed crimson, so Rarity took that as her cue to take the attention off her friend.

“Well, it’s just that last night over dinner Sunny Side’s menu options caught us off guard.”

Thomas smiled, showing his teeth. “And you didn’t run out of town? You mustn’t be new to omnivores then.”

“Well, we’ve met a few gryphons in our travels, so no,” Rarity said.

“So, was that your question then? What my diet consists of?”

“Well, that was the pressing question, yes.”

Thomas turned to Fluttershy. “Omnivore, so I kinda just eat whatever’s thrown in front of me. So what, are you a dentist or something? Could tell my diet by my teeth?”

“Oh, um, no. I actually care for many pets and woodland creatures back home. So I’m used to identifying diets by teeth.”

Thomas actually perked up at that, grabbing the dust pan and dumping its contents into a trash can. “So, you’re like a vet, right?”

“Well, technically I’m not a licensed veterinarian, no…”

“That’s perfect then. I always hated people with degrees. Just because they’re book smart don’t mean they’re street smart.” Thomas walked over to the rocking chair, running his fingers along one of the arm rests. “You know, you might actually be able to help me after all.”

Rarity and Fluttershy shared glances, then turned back to Thomas. “Really?”

“You see, while all that Tirek bullshit was happening and I was busy, I wasn’t really able to keep a keen eye on Missus Fixit’s cats. One of them is kinda sick, I think.”

Fluttershy took a step forward. “Sick? How so?”

“Well, one of his eyes is all goopey and he won’t open it all the way. I only had one constant pet growing up and that was a damned algae eater that outlived over twenty goldfish before I gave up. Bastard’s probably still alive. So I’ve no clue what’s up with the cat. I was gonna telegram some vets in Manehatten since I know some people there, but if you’re familiar with pets, think you could take a look?”

Fluttershy practically beamed with pride. “Oh yes, most definitely. Let me go back and grab my saddle bags and I’ll be right back.”

Before anyone could protest, not that they would, Fluttershy was out the door leaving a trail of sawdust. What followed next was more awkward silence, although Thomas was still keeping himself occupied.

“So, Missus Fixit, that name sounds familiar,” Rarity finally broke the ice… again.

“Well, knowing Sunny Side, she probably mentioned the name Fixit. Mister Fixit was the original owner of this building, and the town’s carpenter. His wife still lives in their home, alone, with half a dozen cats. No idea where the cats came from.”

“Oh yes, Sunny was telling us briefly about that. He left you the building?”

“Sorta.”

“Sorta?”

Thomas stopped fiddling with a block of wood, looking Rarity up and down, judging mentally about what he could or should say. “Technically, he left everything to his wife. I offered to purchase the business, she said no, and insisted on giving it to me.”

“She gave you this place?”

Thomas shrugged. “Ponies, you’re all too trusting and happy and wanting to make everyone happy around you. So, as payment,” Thomas moved his fingers in an odd gesture at the word, “I generally help take care of her at home. I visit frequently, help with whatever she needs. Fix things that need fixing, the usual stuff.”

Thomas then picked up the rocking chair, placing it into a wheelbarrow. “And today I’m bringing her back her rocking chair, freshly stained and ready for another decade of wear and tear.”

“Well you did a lovely job on it, I must say.”

Thomas waved a hand. “I didn’t make it, Mister Fixit made it as a anniversary present a few decades ago. It was just due for another coat of sealant.”

“Well, your talent shows still. Take that crib for example.” Rarity turned towards the crib.

Thomas looked too, then quickly rushing over he took a sheet and covered it. “Yeah, well don’t breathe a word about the crib to anyone.”

“Why ever not? It’s coming along quite well.”

“Because it’s a secret and last thing I need to do is fuel these townsponies fascination with praising me for bullshit… sorry, bull shoes. I swear these pony-isms are gonna be the death of me.”

Before Rarity could question further, Fluttershy returned with a pair of saddlebags, a big smile on her face. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Okay.” Thomas grabbed a small tool box, placed it into the wheelbarrow, then opened a large set of doors easily six feet wide, leading outside, behind the shop.

Thomas grabbed the wheelbarrow, having to hunch down still, and pushed it outside with Rarity and Fluttershy close behind. A couple things immediately caught Rarity’s attention.

“Is that Trixie’s carriage?”

“Yeah, sadly. I take it you met Miss Arrogant already?”

Rarity snickered. “Oh yes, we saw her last night. Actually we’ve got a history with her, from a few instances in our past.”

“That’s not shocking at all, actually.” Thomas continued past Trixie’s carriage. “You’d be amazed at how many ponies who wander in here take one sight of her and take off running. Lucky for us she only tends to stick around for a few weeks, month at most. This time’s a bit different however.”

“How so?” Fluttershy asked.

“Well, as she puts it, a group of six ponies keep foiling her attempts at riches and fame and coincidently also destroy her carriage.” Thomas stopped, dropping the wheelbarrow. “If I ever find out who those ponies are, I’ll make them pay,” he clenched his fist.

“P-pay? H-how so?” Fluttershy stuttered, trying to hide behind Rarity.

“Well since Trixie ain’t payin’ for her damn carriages, they can!” Thomas grabbed the wheelbarrow again. “After all, if what she says is true and it’s their fault anyway, they should be paying for it.”

Rarity and Fluttershy both let out a sigh of relief, quickly joining Thomas as he stormed off. Rarity had wanted to ask about the other unique-looking carriage, but that could be for later. Right now, a more pressing question came about.

“Thomas? How far of a walk is it?”

Thomas looked down to Rarity. “About a half hour walk. If I wasn’t pushing the wheelbarrow it would be quicker.”

“So you walk everywhere?”

“You ask as though it’s a bad thing.”

“Well no, but I’ve heard some ponies homes are quite a distance out of town.”

“Well normally I drive around, but with no gas still I’m S-O-L.”

“Drive?” Fluttershy asked.

“S-O-L?” Rarity asked.

“Eh, long story. The book will kinda explain things, I’ll fill in the gaps when you’re done. And Shit-Outta-Luck.”

“Well truthfully, Twilight is the one reading the book. Then she fills us in.”

“Typical.” Thomas said, but then he let out a laugh.

“What is so funny?”

“Oh, just reminded me of someone.”

“Who would that be?”

The playful smile on Thomas’ face shifted to a thin frown. “No one important.”

For the rest of the walk, Rarity and Fluttershy allowed Thomas some breathing room while he lead the way. Other thoughts and questions would spring up from the two mares, but for the rest of the walk he stuck to short and quick responses. Before long a small cabin sprang into view.

“Is that the house?” Rarity asked.

“Yup. We actually made pretty good time. Either that, or you two were enough of a distraction to not think about the walk.”

Thomas placed the wheelbarrow near the front porch, where one rocking chair sat empty. They approached the front door, with Thomas placing the refurbished rocker beside the first one. Rarity noticed with mild amusement how worn and tired it looked. Probably a similar state the second one was in before Thomas had had his way with it, she mused.

Thomas raised his hand to knock; inches from the door a voice called out.

“Thomas! Come on in, door’s unlocked!”

The two mares looked to Thomas in confusion as he shook his head, then whispered, “It’s always unlocked.”

He opened the door, leading the two mares into a very quaint single room cabin. There were no walls secluding anything. The bed, kitchen, wardrobe, everything was in one giant room. As off-putting as that seemed, the decor and accessories strewn around were very homely. Each piece of furniture had decorative, hoof-sewn doilies on the arms and backs. The walls were lined with paintings, reminding Rarity of the art museums in Canterlot.

The most eye-grabbing thing were the shelves that lined the ‘living area’ of the room, full of little pony figurines.

“I was just in the middle of making some tea, would you and your friends like some?”

Rarity finally spotted the elderly mare in question, facing away from them at a stove. How did she know we were here? She never turned around.

“I’d love some, and I’m sure these two guests would too.” Thomas glanced down to Rarity and Fluttershy with an expectant expression.

“Oh, yes, I’d love some, thank you.” Fluttershy added.

“So, who are your guests today Thomas? I don’t recognize their voices.”

“Rarity and Fluttershy. The later is a vet.”

“I’m not a—”

“Oh, how wonderful! My poor kitties haven’t had a good check up since Doc gave up his practice.”

“Doc? As in a doctor?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah, Doc was both the town doctor and vet. Never could get over the paranoia that all his thermometers looked the same.”

Rarity and Fluttershy shared glances, but turned back to see Missus Fixit walking slowly with a tray on her back. Her wings were spread out evenly, although a tad shakily, and as one wing tip would bump into something she’d adjust and continue towards the ‘living area’.

That’s when Rarity nearly gasped, looking at the elderly mare’s eyes.

They were completely glossed over, the pupils gone and irises nearly so.

“Thomas, dear, would you—?”

“I got it.” Thomas grabbed the tray off the elderly pegasus’ back, setting it onto the coffee table.

Using her wings, Missus Fixit adjusted herself to sit in a single comforter chair, settling into the back with a few light groans.

“Don’t feel unwelcomed! Sit, sit!” She motioned towards the sofa.

Thomas took a seat in the center, Fluttershy took his right, and Rarity his left. His discomfort showed, but the two mares pretended to ignore it as he poured cups of tea for everyone. Rarity managed to not comment on the fact that none of the cups matched the saucers.

“So, tell me about yourselves! You must be some special ponies for Thomas to be bringing you over.” Missus Fixit said, sipping at her tea.

“Well, um, what Thomas said isn’t quite true. I’m not a registered veterinarian, not that I don’t ever want to be, but I do take care of all sorts of animals, both domestic and wild.” Fluttershy blew onto her cup, then took a small sip to try and ease herself. “I’ve been caring for animials since I was a filly, so I’ve had extensive practice with handling them. Thomas, um, had said something about one of your kitties being sick.”

“Yes, Scrufflepuss. Don’t you worry none there, darlin’. If Thomas here vouches for ya then it’s fine.”

Fluttershy stared at Thomas nervously. He just nodded. “Oh, um, okay.”

“And how about you, dear? We’re a long way from Manehattan.”

Rarity was taken aback. “Oh, I’m not from Manehattan.”

“Really now? Golly I must be slipping. Used to be able to tell a pony’s origins by their accent. Take your friend Fluttershy, sweet voice you have little darlin’, I’m feeling that strong Fillidelphian background. But you yourself were raised more rural, am I right?”

Fluttershy blinked. “Wow, you’re right!”

Rarity turned to her friend. “You never told me you were from Fillidelphia!”

“Ah, there it is!” Missus Fixit smiled. “Bumped ya up a few octaves. You’re both from the same town I take it?”

“Yes, Ponyville to be exact.” Rarity kept her eyes on Fluttershy, whom properly tried to hide behind the massive bulk of Thomas.

“Ponyville you say? I remember that town. Small, quaint, had the best apples in Equestria though. Tell me, does a Miss Smith still live out there?”

“Oh yes! In fact, one of our friends is her granddaughter.”

Missus Fixit smiled. “Strong mare that one was. Never would let anything hold her down. Even when she lost her husband, poor dear.”

Fluttershy came out of her hiding to stare at Rarity. “She- I never knew that.”

“Thomas, dear? South wall, third picture from the left.”

Thomas stood, walking over and pulling down one of the many framed paintings. He then handed it to Rarity, who took it in her magic.

The image was of two ponies and a filly, the backdrop being-

“My word, that’s Sweet Apple Acres!”

“Is that Granny Smith?” Fluttershy pointed to the parent mare.

“Yuppers. They were the most hospitable family I had met on mine and my husband’s trips.”

“You traveled a lot?” Fluttershy asked.

“Oh yes, everywhere. Every painting you see is of every stop we visited.”

“You painted all of these?”

Missus Fixit let out a chuckle, before shifting herself and lifting a wing to show off her cutie mark. A paint brush with wings.

“I also enjoyed sewing, but yes. My husband made the wood pieces, and I gave them their pop, as he would put it.”

“So you both worked as a team. Adding with how you traveled, it sounded lovely,” Rarity said, giving Thomas back the picture. “I think Applejack would love to see that picture at some point.” More so to see her father, now I know where Macintosh gets his strong features.

“Thomas will have to bring her by,” she set her empty cup onto the table, just left of the saucer, but she seemed to not mind. “Now then, I don’t want to waste your day regalling of the past. Lets see if we can draw out some kitty cats.”

Rarity stepped out of the house, tired, her mane a little frazzled, but glad that the nightmare was over. And she thought Opal was a pain. Imagine having five of her! She’d left Fluttershy to check on the remaining few cats whom were much more friendly and stepped outside to get some fresh air.

In all the chaos, she’d lost track of Thomas after he’d fixed a cabinet door that was coming apart.

Shink. Shink. Shink.

Rarity looked over, finding the estranged human sitting on a wood crate beside the two rocking chairs. In one hand a normal looking knife, and the other a block of wood. As she got closer, the block of wood was actually taking a shape, almost like-

“Did you make those little ponies in there?”

Thomas looked away from the block at Rarity, nodded, then went back to his focus on the wood.

Rarity found another wood crate and took a seat next to Thomas, although not too close to upset him. She marveled at how he whittled away at what was once a small block of wood. It seemed at times he was just shaving away slivers in random spots, but the more he continued the more it took shape. More unique, was this figure wasn’t standing. It was laying on its haunches, the tail curled around the hind legs.

“That’s Fluttershy, isn’t it?”

“Good guess.”

It was silent for a few more seconds.

“So, how long-”

“A few months after Mister Fixit passed, so a little over three years now. Although her vision was on a steady decline before hand.”

“She was a lovely painter in her prime.”

“Yeah.”

Again, silence.

“This is how she sees a pony.”

Rarity blinked, returning her focus back to the human. “Hm?”

Thomas held up the almost complete figure. “I used to make these things for some of the kids in town, but when Missus Fixit went blind, she struggled to talk with other ponies. She was always good at identifying accents as you noticed, but for her it was a struggle to vision someone by their voice alone. One day she stumbled upon one of these toys I had made, and was able to feel it and recognize who it was.

“And that got me thinking. If she could feel one of these and instantly recall who it was, then why can’t I make one for whenever she meets a new pony? So that’s what I do. When she meets someone and likes them, I make her one of these so she can ‘see’ them.” He did that thing with his fingers again.

“You’re quite fond of her, aren’t you?”

Thomas went back to whittling. “Yeah, her husband and she were the only two to put trust in me when I came here. If it wasn’t for them, I could have been out there in the desert, dead for whoever knows.”

“Well I’m sure somepony else would have helped you.”

He chuckled. “Oh yeah, you and your friends’ expressions at our meeting told me all I needed to know. Hadn’t the sheriff or mayor been there, I’m sure I wouldn’t be as intact as I am.”

Rarity cringed, recalling her first initial thoughts of finding the closest object to hurl at him.

“Point taken.”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, then Thomas stood and stretched.

“Well, I think it’s done,” he said, handing over the figure towards Rarity.

Gently, she took the piece in her magic and brought it in for a closer look. “It’s simply beautiful, Thomas. You put a lot of detail onto your work.”

“Yeah, well when me and my brothers weren’t out terrorizing the streets I’d just play around with blocks of wood. Made a lot of my own toys when I was younger, simply because anything our dad bought we had to share. If we made it or bought it ourselves, it was ours.”

Rarity’s mind was ablaze, that simple phrase opened up so many questions, but she’d have to just compile them for now. Asking him about personal things would only ruin the moment she had going.

“Well, your skill shows.” Rarity gave the figure back, which Thomas took carefully from her magic.

“Damn I never get used to that feeling,” he said, shivering as he walked by and into the house. When he returned, he had another clean block of wood.

“Another creation?” Rarity asked.

“I said I made them of ponies Missus Fixit likes.”

“Moi?” Rarity placed a hoof on her chest.

Thomas ignored the question, turning to face Rarity on his crate. “Hold that position.”

Rarity did so, and Thomas got to work. After a few minutes she was able to relax again, he’d formed a mental image of what he wanted, and got to work. For Rarity it was marvelous to watch a simple block of wood take shape with each swave from the knife.

“Your brothers must have been envious.” Rarity kicked herself mentally. Oh, there I go, messing it up.

Thomas didn’t miss a beat. “Naw, my brothers just used it as an excuse to hog all the toys to themselves. My father was the only one who really appreciated it any.”

“And your mother?”

Thomas hesitated, but continued on. “She died when I was six.”

Rarity’s ears flattened. “Oh, I’m so-”

“It was a long time ago. I was too young to really remember much about her anyway.”

The door swung open, Fluttershy leading Missus Fixit emerged with a tray on the former’s back.

“We made more tea, if you two would like some,” Fluttershy said.

“I’d love some.” Rarity turned to Thomas, who was standing. The way he acts around her and treats her… it makes so much sense now.

The four sat out on the porch, Thomas giving Fluttershy his crate, and now was sitting on the ground. He continued on Rarity’s figure, Missus Fixit dozing off in her freshly sealed rocker, while Fluttershy and Rarity continued to marvel at Thomas’ work. They had lost track of time, but the setting sun was gaining on them as it got harder to see. The empty rocker creaked a little, being swayed by a gentle breeze.

See No Evil, Part 2

By late evening Missus Fixit was tired from the excitement of the day, and Thomas suggested they depart to let the elderly mare rest. For the walk back, Thomas chose to leave behind his equipment so they could progress quicker. The return trip was much quieter with everyone in company tired themselves.

Fluttershy continuously glanced between Rarity and Thomas, who seemed to be getting along quite well on Missus Fixit’s porch. Now it was utter silence, which normally for her would be a welcomed thing. Rarity had mentioned briefly that Thomas had opened up a little bit. Maybe that was the reason behind the awkward silence? Tentative glances between the two?

Finally, the tops of buildings came into view, they were only five or so minutes from town now. Fluttershy immediately noticed Thomas’ shoulders relax.

“Thanks.”

Both mares trotted ahead to match his pace.

“What was that?” Rarity asked.

“I said thanks. You know, for helping.”

“Oh, it wasn’t a problem dear. Although you should thank Fluttershy more so, she did all the work.”

Thomas shook his head. “No, not just the cats, but Missus Fixit.” At the two equine’s confused expressions, Thomas sighed and continued, “She doesn’t get many new guests, especially ones who don’t treat her different because she’s blind. It was good to see her smile like that again.”

Rarity smiled. “It was nothing at all, Thomas. She was such a lovely mare, very friendly.”

“I’ve dealt with blind ponies before, so I know how that can be.”

Both Thomas and Rarity turned to Fluttershy, and her ears immediately went flat under their sudden scrutiny.

Thomas held a confused expression for a moment, then his face cleared. He gave Fluttershy a sympathetic look. Rarity continued to stare in confusion until her friend went on.

Fluttershy let out a labored sigh. “It’s a common trait that runs in pegasi as they age. My grandmother went blind very early in her life, before I was even born.”

“Fluttershy, dear, I didn’t know,” Rarity said, nudging against her friend.

“Huh. Didn’t know it was a pegasus thing.” Thomas placed his hands in his pockets. “Even in a world full of rainbows and marshmallows, genetics is still a bitch.”

It was quiet between the three as they approached the storefront, until Thomas noticed something in the distance.

“I must be seeing things.” They walked closer, Thomas rubbing his eyes. “No flippin’ way.” He then began a brisk jog towards his shop, where the two mares now just noticed a wagon was parked in front of.

As Thomas ran inside, Rarity and Fluttershy took a closer look at the carriage.

Match’s Gas and Oil.

Rarity swore she recognized that name. Judging by the metal barrels that lined the wagon, she could only figure they held in them some form of burning oils or fluids.

There was then a roar of laughter coming from inside, of who Rarity thought was Thomas’. The two mares walked up inside, and were greeted by a… strange sight.

Thomas had a red earth pony in his arms, his back legs kicking in the air while Thomas was giving the poor stallion a noogie into his blue mane.

“Tom! Let me down!” The pony pleaded.

“No way! I haven’t seen you in over a year, then you come marching in here saying that you’re getting married and have a foal on the way? You don’t do that to one of your pals, Junior!”

Finally, with a blush on her cheeks, Rarity let out a lady-like cough and the two males quickly gathered themselves to the presence of two females. The pony crossing his legs of embarrassment, and then Thomas just dropping him afterwards.

“Right, introductions. Rarity, Fluttershy, this here is Matchbox Junior, or we just call him Junior for short. Junior, Rarity and Fluttershy, they’re here to…” Thomas rose a brow. “Actually it’s complicated, but they helped with Missus Fixit’s cats, so yeah.”

The earth pony, Junior, stood while rubbing his head. “Nice to meet you ladies. I can only hope that whatever Tom’s done to bring upon the wrath of the Elements of Harmony isn’t too severe.”

“Wait, you know who we are?” Rarity was taken aback.

“Well duh, you’ve only saved Equestria how many times now. Not to mention my fiance has your Fall Weather Spectrum collection.”

“Really?”

“You seem surprised.” Thomas rejoined the group, several mason jars in one hand and a bottle with amber liquid in the other.

“Well, we aren’t recognized very often,” Rarity said, taking notice of the Bourbon label on the bottle.

Thomas took a seat at the table, pouring a small amount of bourbon into each jar. “Well, I didn’t, and I’m sure ninety nine percent of the town didn’t, so there’s that.”

“So, how do you two know each other?”

Fluttershy took a seat at the table with Thomas, while Junior stood ahead of Rarity. “Well, me and my father used to live here. I grew up in this town,” Junior said.

“Yeah, the lucky bastards struck black gold about thirty miles North of us,” Thomas interrupted.

Junior rolled his eyes. “We were always in the gas business, but when my father struck oil about six years ago we moved to Manehattan to expand the business.”

“Senior was always griping about living here, saying he wanted better for Junior. Well, they’re better off now, ain’t that right?” Thomas gave the stallion a grin.

Junior gave a halfhearted chuckle. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Ah, don’t gimme that mopey dopey crock. You’re engaged! And have a foal on the way! It’s time for celebration, a toast!” Thomas handed the stallion one of the mason jars, as well as offering one to Rarity.

“Moi? Isn’t this a special occasion for you two?”

“Oh no, you two helped me out today, it’s the least I could do.”

Rarity took the jar in her magic, studying it carefully.

“Relax, it only had a few screws in it. It’s cleanish.”

Rarity gulped, trying her hardest to ignore the messy spots that covered the outside of the jar, and hopefully not the inside.

Thomas pushed the last jar towards Fluttershy. “You too.”

“Oh, um, th-thank you.” Fluttershy took the jar between her hooves, giving it a sniff.

“A toast, then!” Thomas raised his glass, and the rest followed. “Congratulations on the announcements, and you better name the foal after me.”

Rarity and Fluttershy shared a giggle, Thomas smiling as all four glasses clinked together, and they took a sip. Well, the mares took a sip, Thomas and Junior downing the contents quickly.

“So, who’s the lucky mare? How’d you two meet?” Thomas asked.

Junior smiled, “Oh golly, it’s quite embarrassing.”

“Hey, I gotta have some fuel for your roast at the wedding, so spill it.”

Thomas poured himself and Junior another couple shots of the bourbon.

“Well, it was about two years ago when we met. You remember when dad had expanded the factory again, buying that old lot across the way? Well…”

“...And then Doc comes running out of the building, his empty bottle of whiskey in one hoof as he throws it at me, rage in his eyes, ‘Damn it Tom, if I find you in my liquor cabinet again I’ll skin yer hide and ship ya to the Canterlot Zoo!’.”

All the ponies but Fluttershy erupted into laughter, the timid mare instead sporting a broad smile on her face. While the story of Junior meeting his special somepony was very heartwarming, the conversation derailed to the antics that Thomas would partake in with Junior.

Junior was on the verge of tears. “Oh Celestia, I’d never seen Doc so mad in my life.”

Thomas took another sip from his jar. “Hey, you best be thankful I took the fall for you. If your old man had found out it was you stealing Doc’s whiskey he’d have killed ya!”

The group let out another round of laughs, Thomas being the first to calm down.

“Say, how’s the old man anyway? I haven’t heard from him in a bit. I’m sure he’s gotta be ecstatic over the news of getting a grandfoal.”

Junior’s smile vanished instantly, shifting his eyes down into his empty jar. Rarity took immediate notice of the strained expression the stallion was wearing.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments.

“Tom, can we talk in private a minute?”

Thomas frowned. “I don’t see why not. Is that okay, ladies?”

Rarity and Fluttershy looked to one another. “Sure, go right ahead. It’s been an honor you two sharing these tales with us as it is,” Rarity said.

Thomas stood, walking with a slight wobble to the Employees Only door. “Step into my office, and we’ll chat.”

Junior stepped through the open door way, then without a glance Thomas followed suit.

It was quiet for a few moments.

“So, I wonder what that was all about?”

Fluttershy looked to her nearly empty jar. She was still on her first glass. “I think it’s something to do with Junior’s father.”

Rarity recalled the last hour, how they’d been telling stories about years past. Every time Senior was mentioned, Junior’s face would shift, but he’d keep the facade up.

“Oh dear, do you think-”

Rarity was cut off by the sound of shattering glass coming from behind the door.

“Tom! Calm down!”

“Calm down?! How the fuck do you expect me to calm down?”

“Look, there wasn’t anything anypony could do-”

“Like hell there wasn’t!”

“Tom, we had no magic!”

“I fucking know that! What do you think I went through for that week of hell? This town was dead, and I was the only thing left standing!”

“Tom, there wasn’t anything you could have-”

“You don’t know that!”

“Neither do you!”

There were loud stomps, then suddenly the door was bashed in, going so far to swing and hit the chalkboard and knock it off kilter. Both mares jumped, the pure anger in Thomas’ expression sending cold chills through their spines.

“Thomas, dear, is everything alright?”

He ignored Rarity, marching over to the table and grabbing the still half full bottle of bourbon off the table.

“Thomas?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“Shop’s closed, everyone out,” He growled.

“What?”

He turned on the mares. “I said the shop’s fucking closed! Everypony out! Shoo, vamoose!”

Fluttershy hunkered down in her chair, hiding as much as herself behind Rarity as she could. Rarity couldn’t tell if she was shaking herself, or Fluttershy shaking her.

“Tom! Don’t take it out on them!” Junior came through the door.

Thomas turned to Junior. “I’m not taking it out on anyone!”

“Yes you are, you’re yelling at them ya jackass!”

“Fuck you Junior, just everypo-fuck-one just get out of here.”

“Thomas, please, calm down. Whatever the problem is I’m sure-”

Thomas cut Rarity off, throwing the bottle of bourbon at the wall about ten feet from the mare. “NO! You can’t fix it, I can’t fix it. No one can fix it! It’s done with, over! I’d watched friends die back home, shot on the street or shot up on drugs. This place was suppose to be different. No senseless deaths, no one killing each other. You’re straight out of a goddamn fantasy for fuck’s sake! You can fly, you can use magic, so why the fuck do you still die?”

Thomas was panting, his hands clenched into fists and shaking as he stared down at the mares. Fluttershy let out a whimper, Rarity’s eyes damp as she stared hard at him. His eyes softened, looking at the shattered remains of the bottle. The liquid running between the floorboards, little specks of glass littered everywhere. He even noticed some in Rarity’s tail.

“I-I’m” Thomas’ voice cracked, his eyes once filled with rage now were cooled, soft, and if Rarity was allowed to believe it, sad, “...fuck.” Thomas’ shoulders slumped as he turned away from the mares, dragging his feet as though they were weighted down. He stopped at the foot of the stairs, glancing back to the still shaking mares, then slowly walked up. They all flinched as a door upstairs slammed closed.

“Well, that could have gone worse.” Junior started for the exit. “You two should come with me.”

The two mares didn’t need to be told twice. They practically galloped out the door.

They were silent for several seconds as Junior unloaded one of the barrels from his cart.

Fluttershy let out a breath before she spoke, “W-what happened back there?”

Rarity was shocked to find Fluttershy the first to talk, the timid mare still looked ready to break down crying.

“That’s Tom being Tom.” Junior pushed the barrel to the front porch.

“That’ doesn’t answer anything,” Rarity added.

Junior sighed. “Tell you what, how about we take a walk? I’ll explain what happened, and maybe you two can make sense of it all.”

“Well, it’s getting very late. We should be heading back to Sunny’s…” Rarity said.

“Then we’ll talk on the way there.” Junior taped a receipt onto the top of the barrel, then joining the two mares they began a slow walk.

“About two weeks before Tirek came stomping through, my father got sick. At first it wasn’t anything to worry about, but it got worse when it should have gotten better. Something to do with us being around so many industrial chemicals.”

“Oh my…” Fluttershy whispered.

“So, he had to go to the hospital for some treatments and chelation therapy. The only stuff that would work was magic induced transfusions, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.”

Rarity nodded. “Yes, I’m familiar with it.”

“Good, because I haven’t the slightest clue. Anyway, it was all magic based stuff. Well, he was getting better, the stuff was getting out of his system. His kidney had started to work again even, which was a huge step forward.”

Junior stopped at the front porch of Sunny’s, looking at the doors.

“So, you ladies probably know more about what went on with Tirek more than I do.”

“Well yes, we were there for quite a bit of it.”

“Mhm. Yeah, you were there for all the Tirek parts of it. Did you happen to see anywhere after he’d left a town? City?”

“Well, no, we hadn’t.” Rarity’s ears dropped.

“It was a disaster. Manehattan was knocked into the dirt and forced to eat it. We lost electricity, running water, everything. All the unicorn medical staff resorted to primitive methods, but without their inherent magic, they were placebos on an open wound. When we lost our magic, the hospital unicorns lost their magic…”

“The treatment stopped…” Rarity whispered.

“The first couple days weren’t so bad. He was still showing signs of improving, so we thought maybe he’d had enough to keep him going. But then, the third day hit, and he took a turn for the worst. The unicorns were frantic, working themselves beyond exhaustion, trying to help everypony.

“There were so many, the hospital was overcrowded. Then they started prioritizing patients on health status and age…”

Both mares were quiet, just staring at the stallion.

“He was only sixty five, you know. They were checking off ponies as young as fifty.”

“By Celestia…” Rarity swore.

“Yeah, right. Not even the princesses could help. Well, the three anypony knew couldn’t.”

Rarity narrowed her eyes. “What are you saying?”

“Well, we have four princesses now, don’t we? We knew three were captured, but where was the fourth?”

Both Rarity and Fluttershy turned their gazes away from the stallion. He paid no attention.

“Where was Princess Twilight Sparkle, when we had no leadership, no structure, no hope?”

“Junior, you cannot push that sort of blame onto her! She hadn’t intended it! She’s not the cause of your father’s death.”

Junior let out a sigh. “Yeah, I know she isn’t. But a lot of ponies still resent her for the lack of leadership for those days. Even though once she did take action, the medical staff was able to save most everypony.”

“So, are you saying, um, that’s why Thomas is so mad? At Twilight?”

Junior looked to Fluttershy, shaking his head. “Knowing him? He’s probably mad at himself. Why? I haven’t a clue.”

“Supposedly, his magic wasn’t taken from him,” Rarity said.

“Well, he has no magic to take first off. Secondly, he wasn’t touched at all by Tirek?”

Rarity was taken aback. “No magic…?”

Fluttershy stepped forward, “Um, no, according to the townsponies, he wasn’t even around when Tirek came through.”

Junior let out a sigh. “That, explains it then. Well, we better go inside so I can send Bob in there to handle Tom. Bob is still around, isn’t he? You ponies didn’t capture him or anything?”

“Why would we do that?”

Junior opened one of the doors. “Well, after Canterlot I’d figured you mares had some bad mojo with changelings.”

Both mares stopped in their tracks, Rarity only now noticing the broken out window next to the doors. “Bob’s a changeling?”

Junior stepped through the doorway, holding the door open for the two mares to step through.

“Ah, that explains the window then,” Junior said, looking around the main room. “How odd though, everything else seems to be intact.”

“That’s because, thankfully, cooler heads reacted in time before somepony got seriously hurt.”

The three looked to see Sunny behind the counter, who herself was glaring at them.

“Owch!”

Or more accurately, the ponies hiding behind them.

“Girls? What are you doing?” Rarity asked, staring dumbfoundedly at her four friends all in a pile against the broken window, then with bemusement noticed their ears against the tarping. “Were you eavesdropping on our conversation?”

Rainbow Dash scoffed. “What? Pfft, no of course not. We wouldn’t do a thing like that, right girls?”

Applejack’s muzzle scrunched up, eyes darting side to side. Pinkie’s mouth was zipped closed. Even Rainbow Dash was averting her gaze, forelegs crossed against her chest. The only pony standing out was Twilight, who had her ears flat on her head as she looked down at the floor.

It didn’t take a scientist, or in her case a fashionista, to realize what Twilight had heard to give her a downcast expression.

“Hey Sunny, long time no see.” Junior stepped to the counter, conversing.

Rarity and Fluttershy looked to one another, nodding, then Rarity spoke. “Girls, we need to talk.”

“Wait, he threw the bottle at ya?” Applejack asked.

“Well, not directly at us, but towards our direction. Enough for glass to get into my tail.” Rarity continued to brush said hair length, all the while little bits of glass fell into a dustpan on the ground.

“I knew there was something fishy about the guy,” Rainbow said.

“What do you mean?” Rarity asked.

“From the sounds of it, the guy’s a total boozer.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, after all he had found out a dear friend of his had…” Rarity looked to a still downcast Twilight, “...passed on.”

Fluttershy listened intently, letting Rarity take the reigns of the discussion. There wasn’t much she could contribute that Rarity didn’t already know. In fact, there were things her friend knew about Thomas that she didn’t.

“From the sounds of it, I’d say the feller’s had some rough spots ‘nd has problems expressin’ himself right. I’ve dealt with family like that. Don’t help none he were drinkin’.”

Rainbow blew a raspberry. “If you ask me, that’s all I gotta know about the guy to say he’s got a neigh from me.”

Pinkie Pie snorted a laugh at the pun, causing Rainbow Dash to roll her eyes.

“Well right now Dash, I think we can only safely get Rarity ‘nd Shy’s votes. They interacted with him. We’re just gettin’ their side of the story.”

Rarity and Fluttershy nodded, then the former looked to their still quiet friend. “Twilight? Darling, are you alright? You’ve hardly said a word in edgewise.”

Twilight jumped, startled from being the center of attention suddenly. “Oh, what? Yeah, I’m uh, I’m fine. You two were just about to give me your votes, right?”

Both mares nodded. Twilight brought over the massive book Thomas had given her to read, as well as a notepad. “Okay, what do you girls say? Yay or nay?”

Pinkie let out another snort.

“Yay.”

“Nay.”

Everypony looked to Fluttershy, who now that she was the center of attention, tried and failed to hide behind her mane.

“Yay? Fluttershy, darling, were you not in the same room with Thomas?”

“Um, yes, I was.”

“And you saw how rude he was, and violent. Someone like that couldn’t possibly-”

“If it wasn’t for Thomas, Missus Fixit would have died.”

The room fell silent for several seconds.

Rarity broke the silence first. “Well, darling, sure everypony was in a rough spot, but we don’t have any proof Thomas even did as he said.”

Silently, Fluttershy took out from her saddle bags a notebook and placed it on the ground. “When Missus Fixit and I were alone, we talked quite a bit. She’s a very lovely mare to speak with, and everything I asked about Mister Baker was normal.”

“Normal?” Twilight asked, taking the notebook in her magic.

“Well, she couldn’t tell me he was perfect. He had flaws, but flaws that easily any pony could also have. Just because he isn’t like us, doesn’t mean we can hold him to a different standard than us.”

All the mares looked at one another, thinking, while Twilight was flipping through the notebook. “Fluttershy, what is this?”

Fluttershy smiled. “That was what Thomas was using to keep track of everypony in town. His daily schedule of how he took care of them, when, as well as other tasks the ponies asked of him while he was… helping.”

“How did you get that?” Applejack asked.

“He’d left it at Missus Fixit’s home when things returned to normal. She knew he was keeping records of how and when he took care of the townsponies because she could always hear him writing. Not to mention there are several elderly ponies in town that have to have regular medication.”

Twilight stopped at a random page, studying the crudely drawn charts. The hoof, or possibly handwriting was also rather dull.

“How do we know it’s even his writing?” Dash asked.

Twilight levitated her saddlebag over, drawing out a small, plain business card. While most of it was in standard typed bold, the last line, If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right! was written out. Sure enough, it was easy to tell they were from the same person.

Applejack looked over Twilight’s shoulder. “Eeyup. I saw his chalk board in the store, see them there T’s? That’s how they were there too.”

Rainbow scoffed. “Okay okay, so he did write it, big deal. Still doesn’t prove anything.”

“These are some very detailed charts, Rainbow,” Twilight said. “If in fact this is accurate…”

Twilight dropped the open notebook back into the center of her friends, rubbing her head with a hoof. “It just doesn’t make any sense. How can someone so volatile be so… so…”

“Kind?”

Everypony looked back to Fluttershy, who was holding the notebook in her hooves.

“Don’t you girls remember when we first came to town, how everypony was trying to protect Thomas? Why would they do something like that to someone they didn’t like, or respect?”

The mares were quiet for another short time.

“I think he’s hurting. Not just because of Junior’s father’s death, but because of something else. The news he got today was just the final wave to crash the dam.”

“Wow, Fluttershy, that was…” Rainbow rubbed the back of her head.

“That was deeeeeeep, girl,” Pinkie spoke up.

“Well, Rarity, do you change your mind then?” Twilight asked.

Rarity looked at the notebook in Fluttershy’s hooves. “I… need to think about it some more.”

“Well, if that’s as far as we’re gonna get, I say tomorrow it’s me ‘nd Dash’s turn.”

“Wait, why us?” Dash protested.

“Yeah, why you two?” Pinkie also protested.

“‘Cause Twi’s still readin’ that there monster of a book, ‘nd ain’cha workin’ on some sorta party fer him?”

Pinkie hopped in place. “You betcha! I just gotta make sure I tone it down a bit on account of his craaaaazay mood swings.”

“Then we’ll be sure not to serve alcohol,” Applejack said.

“Yeah,” Pinkie said, then again with more energy, “Yeah! We don’t need any alcohol to make a party more fun!”

“Wait, you never have alcohol at our parties,” Rainbow said.

Pinkie waved a hoof, “Eh, it’s usually a stallion thing. Then again, none of you are ever at my stallion themed parties.” Pinkie winked. “For good reason.”

“Wait, what?” Dash asked, but never got an answer.

“Well, on that note, I think it’s about time we split into our rooms and got some shut eye. Night all.” Applejack stood, walking towards the door, followed by Rainbow and Pinkie.

Fluttershy placed the notebook back into her saddlebags, for safe keeping, she told Twilight, and climbed herself into bed, tired from the day's excitement. All that was left was Rarity and Twilight, of whom the latter was still sitting in her original spot, staring at nothing.

“Twilight, would you like to... talk about something?”

Twilight noticed Rarity’s worried expression, but didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry you heard those things Junior said about you, about what ponies think about you, but you have to ignore those thoughts. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It’s just… just how many ponies did I leave to fend for themselves? I could have just gone right to Tirek and gotten it over with right then and there, win or lose.”

“Twilight, darling, it wasn’t your fault that those ponies lost their magic, or suffered so. Tirek did those things, he caused those ponies pain.” Rarity sat beside her friend, wrapping a foreleg around her shoulders. “You cannot beat yourself up over it. You did the right thing, and if ponies say you did it wrong, then let them deal with the next bad guy that tries to take over Equestria and see if they do any better.”

Twilight sat there, silent, as she digested her friend’s words.

Rarity’s smile diminished. “Darling, I think what you need right now is some sleep. Get some rest, and we can all talk about this, as a group of friends.”

Twilight, in fact, couldn’t sleep. For hours she laid on her back, under her covers, thinking. At the three hour mark, she threw off her sheets with a groan. Her mind kept on racing with thoughts from earlier. She wanted to be mad at somepony, or blame something for what all happened. Tirek was the obvious choice, but self doubt was right beside him.

Suddenly, Twilight heard a muffled crash come from downstairs. She sat up, noticing Fluttershy and Rarity still sound asleep. She crawled out of bed and to the door. Cautiously, she snuck out of the room and into the hallway, and followed the sound of clinking glass coming from the main dining area. She followed the wall, stopping just before it turned into an open balcony, when a hoof step from behind her made her spin on her heels.

Twilight didn’t think she would ever get over just how terrifying a changeling was up close, and Bob was no exception. It also didn’t help that he had half of his head wrapped up in bandages from their… altercation earlier. Twilight couldn’t look him in the eyes. She could feel her ears drooping down as she withered under his gaze. Bob didn’t seem to be offended in any way, but stepped around the mare to look over the railings. His discerning sigh told her all she needed to know.

Bob walked down the stairs, leading Twilight to the bar where a disheveled human sat on a stool, talking to himself. One of his hands was holding a half-full bottle of amber liquid, the other a coffee cup. Thomas’ eyes were half-lidded, staring at the liquid in the cup as his hand gently rocked the mug. As they drew closer, Twilight realized he wasn’t talking, but singing to himself.

“If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do, is to save every day ‘til eternity passes away just to spend them with you.”

Where Twilight hesitated, Bob marched behind the counter, standing on the other side and glared at Thomas. It took some more mumbling and another drink from his mug to finally notice the changeling.

“Oh, heeeeey Bob. Fancy seeing you here at this hour. You know it’s suuuuper late, right?”

Bob blinked, unamused.

“Okay, okay, okay. So I miiiiight be a little drunk, and miiiiiight have locked myself out of my shop, so I miiiiiiight have come here for a drink or two… or five, I lost count after two.”

Bob let out another sigh, moving towards Twilight. He waved a hole-riddled hoof in front of her face, enough to make her to stutter as she tried to regain her composure. Staring was impolite, and she had just done a lot of staring. It wasn’t her fault that his buttoned up shirt was currently unbuttoned, showing what she could only describe was his bare, muscular chest.

Again, Bob harrumphed, making Twilight focus her attention on the changeling. He pointed at his eyes, then to herself, then finally to Thomas. It took a second, but Twilight got the meaning. She nodded, and Bob marched back up the stairs, to do what- she didn’t know. Only thing she did know was to keep an eye on the obviously inebriated human… Fun.

When she returned to the human, he’d somehow moved from the barstool to the floor, propping his back against the counter while he nursed the little remnants of his liquor bottle. Or more accurately, Sunny’s liquor bottle she could only guess he’d procured from behind the bar.

Twilight moved to sit next to Thomas, while still keeping a couple feet from him. If he’d lashed out so violently towards two of her friends with only a couple of drinks, there was no telling what he’d do after an entire bottle.

“Soooo… you’re a pffffrincess, huh?” Thomas said, still staring at the floor.

Twilight’s ears perked. “Yes, as crazy as that sounds, I am.”

“Why’s that crazy?”

Twilight blinked. “Well, if you had known me before-hoof, you’d never think I would become one.”

Thomas raspberried. “You shound as though you didn’t have a choice.”

Twilight’s ears drooped. “I… didn’t, exactly.”

Thomas finally turned to the mare, although his eyes showed struggle to focus on her.

“Sooooo wha, like you were born into royalty or shomethin’?”

Twilight shook her head.

“I… ascended into it, after completing a difficult spell, and learning about the magic of friendship.” As she talked, Twilight took the distraction to levitate the bottle back onto the counter.

Thomas raspberried again. “Woooow, that all?”

“It was more difficult than it sounds.”

“Shtill, I mean, you weren’t asked ‘Hey, you did this shtuff, now you can become a princess!’.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, it just… happened.”

“Damn, story of my life.” Thomas began patting the ground in a vain search for the bottle.

Twilight tilted her head. “How so?”

“Me, being here ‘nd all. I didn’t choose for this. I just shorta… showed up.”

“Showed up?”

Thomas shrugged. “I was just… driving home from work, yeah, and poof I was here.”

Twilight had so many questions to ask, but one that she felt really mattered.

“How did you come to terms with it?”

Thomas blinked a couple times, clearly lost. “With what?”

“Coming here? You just said that you had appeared here, wasn’t it hard to adjust?”

Thomas violently shook his head, scratched his chest, then rubbed his eyes. “After the, uh, shock of finding myself… here, I tried to think positively about it. Everything here was a wonderland of fantasy and excitement. Things I’d known of in fairy tales were real, like flying ponies, and frickin’ magic! It was so unreal, I couldn’t even imagine both of our worlds having similarities.

“That was, until I found Bob.”

Twilight noticed the changeling from the corner of her eye. He hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, but then continued back around the counter.

“Bob’s my best friend, you know. Except for the Fixit’s, he was my only friend for a long time here. I found him, out in the desert, on the brink of death. I threw him into my van and drove back to town, brought him to Doc, well our first Doc, before we got Hollywood and before Sheriff was part time. Anyway, I brought him to Doc and asked what we could do.

“You know what he said to me?” Twilight shook her head. “He said he didn’t work on bugs.”

Twilight chanced a glance at Bob, she noted his stoic expression as he straightened up the liquor bottles.

“I’d never experienced a pony acting so... so mean before. The Fixit’s took me right in, and sure I had experience with other ponies, but I didn’t really fit in. We didn’t hang out, go out for drinks, none of that. It took me a long time to realize those first two years I had become a shut in, locking myself in the workshop. Then I found Bob, and I started to notice how ponies around town looked at me. Talked about me.

“I just wanted to help this pony. I didn’t know he was a changeling, just that he looked different. I started asking other ponies for help, no one would. Most just tried to ignore me. I gave him water, tried to feed him but he refused. I was desperate. The Fixit’s didn’t know much more than I did.

“Finally, it happened.”

Twilight glanced back to Bob who had stopped mid-cleaning of a low ball glass. She turned back to Thomas. “What happened?”

“I lost my temper. Persuaded the mayor to resign, Billfold took over, and Bob got his help. The Fixit’s sent me out more to work on projects so I’d talk and meet everyone. I owe those two a lot, and Bob too. Once Bob got better, we started to learn a lot about him. For one thing, you notice he never talks?” Twilight nodded. “Yeah, apparently there’s this taboo in changeling culture, the one thing you never do.”

Twilight looked to Bob for the answer, but he remained quiet, so Twilight asked, “What’s that?”

“You don’t ask why.”

“Why?”

Thomas nodded. “Asking a question is a sign of intelligence, and their queen doesn’t want smart drones. She wants drones that take orders and do them regardless. So, they take the changeling, beat him up, and cut out his tongue as the first warning. The second is they beat them up again and throw them into the desert to die.”

Twilight’s mane and tail hair stood on end. “They… do what?” She looked between the two, Bob finally the one nodding. “That… that can’t be…”

“And that was my second lesson on how our worlds were more alike. I couldn’t believe such things existed in this marshmallow world.”

Thomas began to sit up. Twilight motioned closer to stop him, only for the human to place his hand on her head and use her as leverage to stand.

“Thanks,” Thomas said, much to Twilight’s annoyance and ruffled mane. “The final piece of the puzzle came a few years later, when Mister Fixit got sick. I’d yet to experience a pony dying, so I had hopes that maybe they didn’t.”

By now Thomas had staggered to a secluded section of wall, where a large frame was made. Inside the frame was over a dozen pictures of ponies. Then Thomas pulled out a photo from his pocket.

“I was wrong.” Thomas slipped off his untied boot, and using a nail Twilight didn’t know where it came from he tacked the photo onto the wall inside the frame using his footwear.

“First it was Mister Fixit, then Doc, then Farmer Jack’s wife Pumpkin Patch and their son, Pumpkin Seed. It was like a wave of despair hit Oasis. It was just finally seeming like things were getting better, too, until…”

Thomas looked at Twilight, his inebriation appearing to be letting up if his lack of swaying was any indication, then looked back to the picture. “And now, I’ve lost another one.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Thomas.”

Thomas shook his head. “It sure feels like it.”

Twilight wanted to say more, but kept her mouth shut. She desperately wanted someone to talk to about her problems, but was this something she could talk with the human about? She felt it was her fault, for so much of what happened, could she handle it if he went off on her? Blamed her for everything? She would take it, but still, he was already distressed as it was.

“Well, at least you won’t be stuck here any longer than you have to be.”

Twilight stared at Thomas with a confused look. He dropped his boot, stepping his bare foot into it as he staggered back to the bar, his bottle and cup already gone thanks to Bob who was on guard. He took a seat on his original stool, looking at his reflection in the bar mirror. Noticing his disheveled appearance he ran a hand through his hair and tried to button up his shirt.

“I’m sure Rarity and Fluttershy told you all about that little incident we had earlier.”

Twilight joined him on a stool. “Yes, they told me about what you do for Missus Fixit, and help her with what she needs. And that you’re very caring.”

“And that I have a nasty temper and throw bottles of bourbon.”

Twilight winced at that. “Well, Rarity was taken aback by that.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“But still, we talked it over.”

“And you’re leaving in the morning, right?”

Twilight shook her head. “No. In fact, Fluttershy defended you.”

Thomas stopped buttoning his shirt, which wasn’t lined up properly Twilight noticed, as he turned toward Twilight, one brow up.

Twilight nodded. “She saw flaws, but overall believes in the goodness of your heart. She’s behind you. Rarity is on the fence still, which after having to pick all the glass out of her tail that’s amazing in itself.” Twilight let a small chuckle escape.

Thomas let out a breath. “Huh, ain’t that somethin’,” he said looking back into the mirror at both of their reflections, “and what about you?”

Twilight stiffened. “I’m… not so sure myself yet either. You do remind me of another pony I know, who cares almost to a fault.”

“Who’s that?”

“You’ll find out tomorrow,” Twilight looked to the clock on the wall, “or rather, later today. It’s quite late.”

Thomas rubbed his face with both hands, his voice muffled by the appendages. “You’re telling me.”

Bob found this to be his cue as he nudged Thomas on the side. “Hm? Oh, got the spare room for me?”

Bob nodded.

“Cool, thanks bud.”

With help from Bob, as in using Bob’s head as a makeshift cane, Thomas began his march up the stairs. One last thing Thomas said caught Twilight’s ears.

“Say Bob, what happened to your head?”

Twilight let out a groan, slamming her head onto the bar top.

Bananas, Crackers, and Nuts

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Shadows

Author's Note

It hasn't been a year between chapters yet, so you can't yell at me.

If I do end up taking a year to do the next chapter, then by all means, yell at me. Or punch me at a con, whatever.

Shadows

The pony only known as “Kentwood” was once remembered stating that his baseball bats were “stronger than an alicorn’s horn”. Hoof-carved from the best chunks of Ash trees that could be salvaged from the Everfree Forest, and combined with precise craftponyship, no other wood implement could come close to their quality. Even so, that motto lives on in professional sports to this day, well over two hundred years since his death.

About ten years ago, the company was sold off to a foreign corporation that just wanted the name and trademark, and ran it into the ground. Ponies who had original Kentwood bats made sure to take care of them, keep them clean and used them professionally for their sport. Earlier ones were family heirlooms, passed down generation to generation, playing in the backyard, and possibly growing up to become a pro, like their grandfather.

Sometimes, however, an object’s intended use is lost. Instead, it finds a new purpose in life, and in the ponies who own it. Such is the tale of the resident Kentwood bat at Sunny Side’s Inn and Breakfast. This bat with the label half gone and the serial number long ago scratched out, found its calling late in life.

In the hooves of a changeling the bat was a weapon. It made contact with the head of a dark brown bull, named of all things ‘Jersey Shore’, looking for that triple or at worst in ground double. Hell-bent on ending the ‘ling’s life, with whatever means possible, Jersey made contact, although not with his intended target. The cracking sound heard throughout the bar echoed off the high ceiling, but thankfully the bat remained intact. The bull, not as much, as he was sent sprawling onto a table, collapsing the legs along with sending dirty plates and glasses to the floor crashing in symphony with the piano music.

Bob grinned at the downed figure, but quickly caught a hoof in the face from another bull. The bat was sent into the air, landing on the floor with a clatter of hardwood on hardwood. Somewhere, Kentwood was rolling in his grave.

An orange mare with a golden mane was the next pony up to bat, quickly swiping the implement off the floor. Applejack barely had any time to move when the tan bull in the group, Doc Holstein, charged. Thinking fast, she went for a bunt right as the bull rammed into her, his horns locking with the bat and skidding her all the way up to a wall, impaling her into the cheap plaster with cracking picture frames falling to the ground.

Holstein blew his breath at the mare, made rank with the lack of hygiene and stale beer. Applejack kicked her hind legs at his lower body, sending him off her, and using his momentum, begun to push him back with the bat. Before she could make any further moves, both bodies were sent to the ground by another fighting duo, a rainbow haired pegasus and a bull of white with black, (or black with white?) blotches that came tumbling in from the left and striking them both out.

The door to the Mayor’s office swung open, allowing Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie to exit. From behind the mares followed Sunny Side, still sporting her work apron, the Sheriff, wearing his dusty blue police cap, and lastly Mayor Billfold. All was quiet, the only sounds being the clopping of their hooves. The floor didn’t creak even from Pinkie’s exuberant bouncing.

As they entered the post office, Swift Delivery was in the middle of sorting mail when he saw the group. Twilight went to say hello, but the skittish stallion ducked behind the counter, letters in his hooves drifting slowly to the counter top.

Twilight let out a sigh. She couldn’t blame the poor pony, but really, overreaction much?

“Swift! Stop being such a coward and stallion up!” Mayor said, then added, “Besides, it’s rude to hide from a princess… I think.”

The Sheriff let out a chuckle. “Easy there, Mayor. After what happened the other day, the poor guy needs to get himself back on track.”

Sunny shook her head. “I’ve had to come here to get my mail the last two days. He won’t even get near my Inn.”

“Because of us?” Twilight asked, then turned back to where the mail pony was hiding. The hat ontop of his head started to come into view as he rose up to chance a peak.

“S-s-s-sorry S-s-s-sunny! It’s j-j-just…”

Rarity cut him off. “Swift, darling, you don’t have to be afraid of us. We’re all sorry about what happened, Twilight especially so, I’m sure.”

Twilight nodded her head.

“Ah, yes, and we’re mostly to blame for it,” Mayor said, “and then we dragged you in on it as well. Apologies.”

By now the entirety of Swift’s head could be seen just over the counter, the stallion was shaking like a leaf.

“I-i-it’s f-f-fine, Mayor. I’m just so… r-r-rattled easy.” Swift had a downcast expression.

“Oh, I know how that is,” Fluttershy said, flapping her wings to join the stallion on the other side of the counter, giving him a pat on the back. “It’s okay, I’m easily scared too.”

Swift looked to the mare. “R-r-really?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Oh yes! Why, it’s been joked around that I’m even afraid of my own shadow.” All of Fluttershy’s friends found interesting aspects of the wood grains in the floor. “But I know they’re only joking, but the point is still the same.”

“T-t-then how do you g-g-get over it?”

Fluttershy looked back to her friends. “You can’t expect to get over every one of your fears, but your friends by your side, you don’t have anything to fear.”

Swift looked to his fellow townsponies, all three smiling at him.

“Well… I-I guess…”

The stallion stiffened suddenly; Fluttershy wrapped her forelegs in a tight hug around him. His shaking stopped, and a hot blush fell upon his face.

“It’s fine. Twilight and the rest of us are your friends too, so you have nothing to fear.”

The change in Swift Delivery’s mood was like a light switch. Instantly, he stopped shaking, relaxed his shoulders, and let out the breath he had been holding.

After a few seconds, Fluttershy let go, smiling at the stallion. He smiled back. “Thank you. I… uh… I’m not sure what else to say.”

“There’s nothing else to say, Swift. Fluttershy’s right,” Twilight said. “You have nothing to fear from us.”

The Sheriff added, “Besides, Bob is there, and Thomas most of the time too. You have nothing to worry about at Sunny’s.”

The away team was now up to bat. Returning from the first inning, Jersey Shore was back on his hooves and ready to show the home team just who they were messing with. Grabbing the bat, his first swing was a strike, missing the rainbow maned pegasus by mere inches, her mane blowing from the movement. She turned around, this time ducking in time for strike two.

The third swing would make purchase, however she was quick enough to shield her head with her forelegs. The hit sent her rolling towards the bar, which now had a changeling being dragged down the polished surface by the white bull, Angus McSteer, his face smashing into each and every bottle and glass still standing.

A small victory at first turned into a fly ball as Jersey suddenly found himself meeting the rear hooves of Applejack, the bat quickly discarded in exchange for the ability to hold oneself while they screamed in pure agony from an Apple Family trademarked buck to the gut.

Having recovered at some point, Buffalo Bull, the black and white bull, kicked the bat away before Applejack could take it. With a snarl, Applejack went for another buck, but was blocked by a chair exploding into shrapnel against her side. Before she could see her new assailant, the second up to bat made contact with a solid single, launching the mare into the air to land behind the counter with a crash.

Buffalo Bull looked over to his companion, Holstein, and gave him a nod in thanks. With only one out, and three of the five bulls on their hooves, they mutually agreed to go after Rainbow Dash, who was just getting onto her own shaky hooves.

Before Buffalo Bull could swing, he found himself tackled into the bar, a firm palm grabbed the back of his head and began smashing his face into the glass covered bar top. Holstein went to aid his ally, however got tripped by Bob before he could swing. Thomas, after several slams, picked the bull’s face up from the bar and smashed one final beer bottle on his head, then dropped him. That was out number two, and with no movement from behind the bar the home team was still at a disadvantage.

Holstein was quick to recover from his trip, and before the changeling could pounce, he swung the bat at the human’s legs, taking him out quickly with a solid hit. Thomas slammed into a barstool crushing it instantly with a yelp of pain. The bull was up now, and went for another swing at the downed human.

His bat was caught mid-swing by Bob, both front hooves caught the bat, and now the momentum lost, Holstein lost grip and spun himself around. By the time he could recover, he looked forward to a grinning changeling, and that changeling swung the bat, making this out number three, and sending the bull hurling towards two lone bar patrons.

The poker players continued to play, oblivious to the chaos around them. Just before the bull collided with their table, the brown unicorn picked up the entire table, lifting it out of the way as the bull went right under and between their chairs. Once he hit the wall behind them, the unicorn set the table back down and laid out his hand.

“Full house,” he said, to the groan of his compatriot.

As the group of ponies continued down the street, it was Rarity that noticed Thomas’ carriage first.

“Oh, I do believe they are already back.”

“Well, it’s about a half hour drive out there for him, and they’ve been gone a few hours now.” The sheriff tilted his head in thought, “and considerin’ what only Celestia knows Short Circuit did this time, they actually made good time.”

“What could he do?” Twilight asked.

Sheriff, Mayor, and Sunny all stopped in their tracks, looking at one another.

Sunny coughed into her hoof.

“It’s best you didn’t know.”

Twilight gave the sheriff a look, but he brushed it off.

“It’s never anything Thomas can’t handle, anyway. He seems to be the only person that can get through to that nut- I mean, pony.”

“And why is that?”

The Sheriff looked to Twilight, then grinned. “Thomas has a way with words.”

Next inning, and the rosters still the same. Next up to bat for the home team was Applejack, who made a killer out in that last inning to tie the game up. Amongst the still conscious, it was now an even two on two. Angus on the opposing team walked towards the mare, a tad shaky, but determined nonetheless.

Applejack swung the bat, making contact with Angus on his shins, bringing him down to his knees. She then reared up, and gave a solid buck to his chest, sending him skidding along the floor into the back wall near the piano playing pony, who didn’t even flinch as he continued on with another song.

Last she’d seen Rainbow, she had been dragged along the length of the bar top by the black and white bull, not far behind when Bob got the same treatment. Didn’t these bulls know better than to hurt such a pretty face?

Applejack shuddered, wondering where that thought came from, and if she was spending too much time around Rarity again. She didn’t get to think long, for to her right she saw Thomas struggling with one of the few remaining bulls, Jersey Shore.

“Tom!”

Thomas turned to the mare, just in time to see a baseball bat come flying at him. He quickly caught it, and with a mighty swing, smacked the bull good across the face, sending him towards the bar. One of his teeth went flying at the two remaining poker playing ponies, the black earth pony raising a gloved hoof to catch the tooth, not bothering to look up from his cards in the other hoof.

The bull landed on one of the still standing stools, his elbows on the counter as his eyes spun. Bob, having finally recovered, stood from behind the counter, taking a single sip of whiskey from the bottle before smashing it down on the bull’s head, officially taking him out for the count.

All that remained now was Buffalo Bull, Holstein, and Longhorn himself, who had finally recovered from the initial surprise attack. Once his eyes met with Thomas, they turned red, his nostrils blowing smoke and his ears steam as he kicked back on the floor, sending dust and pieces of ceramic flying.

“Uh oh.” Applejack muttered, and then Longhorn charged.

The closer they got to Sunny’s, they noticed they heard piano music playing.

“Oh, are they having a party in there?” Pinkie asked, “I didn’t know you had a piano!”

“It’s on the back wall. Usually we keep it covered with a cloth, but yeah we pull it out for special occasions.”

“Or if Windslor gets spunky and takes a break from his poker game,” the Sheriff said.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t happen often. Usually when-” Sunny stopped, her eyes going wide.

“When what?” Rarity asked.

The group stopped beside Thomas’ vehicle, near the base of the steps. There was a loud commotion coming from inside, the piano playing barely able to drown it out from the inside.

“Oh hey, I see Thomas almost has the window done,” the Mayor said, blissfully unaware of the commotion inside.

The Sheriff, however, knew well enough to start pushing the group of mares back the way they came.

“Actually, you know what I have some other things to share with you gals back in my office, about Thomas, that I’m sure you’d love to see.” The Sheriff continued to try and herd the mares, but Twilight broke away.

“We can do that later. Right now I wish to talk some more with Thomas.”

Twilight got more than she bargained for.

All the ponies jumped back, when from the only half-installed window exploded outwards, two figures crashing onto the balcony, then through the railing and landing in a heap on the ground. The grey bull moaned, clutching his head. Thomas was quick to his feet, although unsteady, then swiftly gave a good kick to the bull’s gut, causing him to lurch and curl into a ball.

Thomas spat at the bull, then with a limp went up the stairs and wandered back into Sunny’s. All the ponies were quiet, only the sheriff was moving, holding a hoof to his forehead as he shook his head.

Rarity looked to the Sheriff. “You’re right, he does have a way with words.”

The first pony to brave entering Sunny Side’s was Sheriff Copper Top. Knowing well what to expect, he volunteered to judge the carnage and give back a report to the rest. The stallion was long-hardened from his years sheriffing the town of Oasis and putting up with Thomas’ shenanigans.

So the sight of four bulls hogtied in the center of the room, surrounded by destroyed furniture didn’t phase him. Windslor was still at the piano, playing another song that set a calming mood. Thomas was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bar with a mare on either side of him.

Copper Top trotted over to the three bodies against the bar. “Well, what am I gonna tell Sunny?”

“They started it,” Thomas said, reaching above his head for a half-filled low ball glass that was still intact.

“You threw the first punch though,” Rainbow Dash added.

“Yeah, well, they were ugly.” Thomas took a drink.

“Doesn’t mean you have ta go startin’ a bar brawl, especially in Sunny’s,” Copper Top took off his hat, wiping his brow.

He looked over to the four bulls, still knocked out cold.

“Where’s Bob?”

A black hoof stuck up from behind the bar with a little wave, then slowly lowered back down.

“Uhuh. Right.” Copper Top sighed, then turned back to report the damage outside.

Before he could, however, Sunny Side stood in the doorway, her expression harder than any liquor behind the bar. Mayor Billfold stood to her left, and Princess Twilight to her right. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie all looked through the once again shattered window.

“Wowie, we sure missed quite the party,” Pinkie said.

“Pinkie, darling, now’s not the time,” Rarity looked on in horror.

“Well duh, Rarity. But just look at the place! It’s totally trashed!”

“Pinkie…” Rarity said through her teeth.

Sunny’s right eye twitched.

“It’s like they purposely went around and broke every chair, every table, and every bottle of rum they could!”

“Um, Pinkie Pie, please stop,” Fluttershy pleaded.

Sunny Side took a slow step forward, her eyes focused on the three figures against the bar. Applejack, on Thomas’ right, looked on in silent terror at the expression on the Inn pony’s face. Rainbow tried her best to hide behind Thomas’ bulking figure, but with not much luck other than her face.

Copper Top took a couple steps back, allowing the mare to take his place and stand before the three responsible.

Thomas held up his hands in defense, “Okay, I know what you might be thinking Sunny, but it wasn’t-”

In a blur of motion, Sunny reached down on the ground with a hoof and grabbed the discarded baseball bat and swung it at Thomas’ head. It made contact with a crack, the bat being the least hurt, and sending Thomas reeling and tumbling out the doors and landing outside, face first in the dirt at the bottom of the steps.

Applejack and Rainbow watched in horror, then turned slowly at the fuming mare. Sunny straightened out her apron and hoofed over the bat to Sheriff Copper Top.

“Now, I know none of this here was your faults,” Sunny said, giving both mares a smile, her teeth grinding.

“Well, you see Miss Sunny-” Applejack tried to say, but was stopped by Sunny raising a hoof.

“Now darlin’, I know well enough to understand what probably happened here. But frankly, I don’t care. My diner is destroyed, and the only person with the skill and time to fix it is the one who did the destruction in the first place.”

“Well, at least he did something about it,” Rainbow said.

Sunny gave Dash a look, brow raised. “So now you’re defending him? Earlier you hated his guts. He impress your young heart or somethin’?”

Rainbow looked away from Sunny. “N-no, it’s just not many ponies, or people, would stand up to something like that. Especially five on one.”

“No, two on one.” Sunny picked up a broken chair leg. “Bob. Get yer ass out here.”

From behind the counter, crawled the changeling, his head downcast and ears flat. He stopped in front of his wife, his belly touching the debris covered floor.

“Bobby, honey, are you okay?”

Bob looked up for the first time, and with pleading eyes nodded his head.

“Good.”

Thomas groaned, picking himself off the dirt road, brushing at his sleeves. He grabbed the side of his head, which was still pounding something fierce.

“Well, that went better than I thought it would.” Thomas looked to the still curled up Longhorn. “Although not as much for you, I’m to figure.”

Thomas looked back towards Sunny, just in time to be greeted by Bob’s forehead colliding with his own, sending them both back and landing on the downed bull.

Sunny Side marched out the door, her apron half dangling from her neck. Sheriff Copper Top stepped up beside her.

“Your call,” said the Sheriff.

“I want them both detained.”

Copper Top shrugged.

“And those bulls. In fact, put them in the same cell. Make them all suffer, and maybe they’ll pound some sense into those two idiots.”

“Whatever you say, Sunny.”

Copper Top stepped down the stairs, approaching the three downed figures as Twilight and her friends, including the two bruised mares, all joined Sunny.

“Sunny, do you think that’s so wise?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, while I’m sure they deserve it, that’s a bit far. Same cell? What if they get into it again?” Rarity asked.

“Maybe then it will teach them to act their age.” Sunny looked to Twilight. “They ain’t no spring chickens anymore. One of these days, those two idiots are going to actually get badly hurt,” Sunny turned away to enter her Inn, but Twilight saw the traces of tears down the mare’s cheeks, “or worse.”

“What about us?” Rainbow asked, then was shoved by Applejack. “What? I’m just asking, we were in the fight too.”

Sunny sighed. “Yes, but you two didn’t know any better.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Rainbow took a step towards Sunny.

“I’m sayin’ you’re both dumb and young,” Sunny smiled, “but that’s okay, you can afford to. Those two can’t anymore. Now, if you do want to make some amends, you could drag those four you tied up and take them to jail with the other three.”

Sunny entered through the double doors at the same time Mayor Billfold exited.

“I’m so sorry, Sunny. It’s just so unlike Thomas to-”

“Oh you can cut the crap already, Bill.” Sunny looked back to the six mares. “By now they get the picture. Thomas ain’t no saint.”

Billfold sighed. “Yes… I was afraid of that.”

Sunny continued inside, as piano music picked up.

“Windslor, I swear by my hooves if you play another note, I’ll make you like this window!”

The piano music from inside was abruptly silenced. The six mares all shared looks as they watched the sheriff escort Thomas and Bob, the two dragging along the knocked out Longhorn.

“Now what?” Pinkie asked.

Applejack sighed, and with a nudge at Rainbow’s shoulder the two marched inside Sunny’s, intent on doing as the mare had asked of them.

“You’re lucky you just dislocated your shoulder, Tom. I’m more amazed you didn’t get a concussion from the blows you took to your head.” Doc Hollywood placed his flashlight back into his breast pocket with his mouth.

Thomas sat upright in the single cell, against the West wall, where Bob already had another set of bandages on his head.

“Yeah, well that’s how it goes sometimes.” Thomas helped himself into a sling with his left arm, wincing as he moved wrong.

“Yes, yes, but one of these days you’re gonna get more seriously hurt. You should really start thinking before you act, Tom.”

“Please, I get enough lectures from the Mayor and Sheriff. I don’t need another dad in this town.”

Hollywood shook his head. “Well, just be thankful that most of those bulls giving you death glares aren’t in any better shape, or I’d hesitate to leave you seven alone together.”

“Ain’t nothing me and Bob couldn’t handle, right?” Thomas looked to his friend.

Bob gave Thomas a glare.

“Okay, geeze Bob, you don’t gotta be so testy.”

“Well, I think that’s about the extent of my service for you lot. Get lots of rest, and don’t get into any other fights for at least another forty eight hours.”

Doc Hollywood packed up his medical bag, placed his hat on his head with a tip to both parties, then departed the cell. Copper Top gave the gate a strong slam, ensuring it locked.

“Play nice.” Copper Top followed the doctor out of the jailhouse.

All was quiet for five minutes, with each party giving the other passive aggressive glares from across the cell.

“So, you guys put up a pretty good fight,” Thomas said.

Longhorn blew steam out his nose.

Thomas chuckled. “I’m serious, I wasn’t sure if we could actually take you guys on with just me and Bob. At least Rainbow Dash and Appleack helped.

At the mare’s names, Longhorn stood, not without nearly falling over, and huffed.

“Yeah, well you’re lucky we didn’t go all out on you.”

“All out? Please.” Thomas waved his left hand. “You heard Doc, I’m no youngster anymore, and if I’m allowed to judge, neither are you guys. That back there was our all.”

Longhorn huffed again, taking a step, only to be stopped by Jersey Shore.

“Boss, there’s no sense in hurting yourself more.”

“I just want to wipe that smug grin off that pale face of his.”

Thomas laughed, but stopped himself as pain struck his chest. “Oh no, you misinterpret. This isn’t a smug grin.”

“What is it suppose to be, then?”

“Just remembering the first time I got put in jail after a bar fight. I was probably, oh, eighteen. Did the same thing here, dislocated my right shoulder. Figures, it was the reason I lost my baseball scholarship.” Thomas shook his head, still smiling.

The bulls were all silent, Longhorn finally settling down and taking his seat on the only bed in the cell.

It was quiet again for several long minutes.

Thomas shifted his legs, groaning from the effort. “Oh come on now, surely you guys don’t expect this to be more than just a bar fight.”

“Of course we do!” Longhorn said. “You were with them.”

“Who? Those mares? Technically, they were with me. Forced on me, more like it.”

“How so?” Buffalo Bull asked.

“Apparently they’re here to, well, investigate me.”

“Pfft,” Holstein huffed, “investigate what?”

“Certainly not my anatomy, that’s for sure.”

At that, the four bulls around Lockhorn gave out small quips of laughter, two of them wincing in pain as they did so.

“Eh, at least you can laugh about it.” Thomas leaned back against the brick wall. “I gotta deal with them all over me, watching what I do and questioning me about why.”

“They were pretty troublesome for us too, back when we first met them,” Holstein said.

“We were also trying to steal property from the orange mare’s family,” Angus added.

“Oh yeah, that would do it then,” Thomas shook his head. “And I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it never got rightfully resolved.”

“No.” Lockhorn snorted. “No it didn’t.”

Thomas shrugged, wincing at his right shoulder. “Well, sometimes we gotta treat life like poker. Know when to hold them, when to fold them, when to walk away, or when to run.”

Lockhorn tilted his head.

“It’s an old song I remember. Don’t mind, just as I’ve gotten older, I’ve taken those words more to heart.”

“And yet you threw the first punch,” Lockhorn said.

“Wouldn’t you have? If roles were reversed?”

Lockhorn opened his mouth, but didn’t speak, and closed his jaw.

“Exactly. Don’t take any of it personal, just sometimes that’s how it goes. Some days, you’re the hydrant. Some days, you’re the dog.”

“You know, you’re not as full of shit as I thought you’d be.”

“Oh no, trust me, I’m plenty full of shit.”

For the first time, Lockhorn gave a chuckle. Thomas joined in.

The next day was slow. Twilight and her friends helped Sunny Side pick up the pieces of her diner, salvaging as many chairs, tables, and bar stools as they could. There were still several that could not be saved, even with Twilight’s magical abilities. What was left would be up to Thomas the carpenter to fix, or more likely rebuild.

Speaking of, the group of mares followed behind Copper Top as they approached the jail house.

“I wonder if he’s still alive?” Applejack asked.

“Of course he is. He’s tough.” Rainbow said, taking to the air and rubbing her chest with a breath and hoof.

“Golly R-D, you really have taken quite the fancy to ‘Old Tom’.” Applejack winked.

“W-what? No I haven’t. He can hold himself in a fight, and kick flank. So what?”

‘Uhuh, sure thing sugarcube.” Applejack laughed.

“It’s not like that…” Rainbow whispered, only loud enough for Fluttershy and Rarity to share a glance.

As the jailhouse drew closer, they heard a commotion coming from inside. Copper Top stopped in front of his door, shaking his head.

“What’s the matter, Sheriff?” Twilight asked. “Is something going on inside?”

“Oh yeah, there sure is.” Copper Top opened the door, allowing Twilight and her friends enterance first.

“So Will, you see, was still drunk as a skunk, and when the cop finally got to questioning him, Will opened his mouth to speak and instead just puked all over the cop’s pants and shoes.”

At that all five bulls, Bob the changeling, and Thomas burst into laughter.

Twilight and her friends all stood there, slack-jawed at what they were witnessing.

“Eeyup. Tom sure did it alright. Punched first, got his ass kicked, and still made the bad guys into his friends.” Copper Top shook his head. “I sure wish I had a hundred bits for every time this happened. Then I could retire early.”

Ignoring the new ponies in the room, Thomas continued. “So, somehow by the grace of God, Me and my brothers play it cool like we didn’t know what was wrong with him. Yeah, no the cop had none of that and arrested all of us. The problem, however, was he already had two guys in his squad car for the same shit. I swear, this cop was still a rookie, and didn’t know how to deal with the problem, so what does he do?

“He asks us to get back in our car, and whoever’s the most sober to follow him back to the precinct for detention.”

Again, the seven inmates burst into laughter.

“I swear, if it had been anyone other than Richard, we would have lost that cop. But that damned brother of mine just had to be the ‘good guy’ and actually follow that cop all the way to the station.”

The laughter settled down, and after a moment Bob took notice of the six mares and Sheriff staring at them. He nudged Tom’s good shoulder, and he looked over.

“Oh, howdy there Sheriff. Afternoon ladies. Is it time to go?”

Sheriff Copper Top unlocked and opened the cell door. “For you two, yes. The rest of them are gonna be in longer for the attempted robbery.”

Thomas and Bob exited the cell, and before the door could close Thomas grabbed it with his hand.

“What robbery?”

The six mares, five bulls, and one sheriff blinked in unison, looking at the tall bipedal.

“Say what?” Copper Top asked.

“Bob, did they try to rob the place?”

Bob let out a long sigh, then shook his head.

“It was just a simple bar fight, nothing else.”

“WHAT?” Rainbow shouted. “Yes it was, they were totally ready to rob the place! They had masks on and everything!”

“I dunno, Sheriff, did you see any handkerchiefs when you cleaned up?”

Sheriff Copper Top tapped his chin in thought. “No, I didn’t see any. Ladies, you helped clean, did you?”

At once all six mares began to speak, but then went quiet.

“Well, they were wearing them when they first came in!” Applejack said.

“Hm, no, I don’t remember that. Me and Longhorn here had a simple disagreement, and one thing led to another, and I punched him.” Thomas looked at the gray bull, still staring at him in shock. “Right, Longhorn?”

Longhorn shook the daze from his eyes, and then nodded. “Yeah, that’s it. Just a simple bar fight.”

Rainbow opened her mouth to protest further, but at the look of Thomas’ face, she quieted up. The motion was not unnoticed by Applejack, so instead she took over the argument. “Them bulls came in ready to start something, and sure Tom threw the first punch, but it was because of them.”

Thomas cleared his throat. “Well, considering that Bob is married to the owner of the establishment, there for co-owner. And he was there to witness it, I think it’s for him to decide.”

Everyone in the jailhouse looked to the changeling, who nonplussed shook his head.

“Well, that settles it then. Come on out you five.”

“WHAT!?” Five of the mares shouted. Rainbow continued to give Thomas a disapproving look.

Slowly, each bull stepped out of the cell. “Old Tom’s right, ladies. Bob has the say in this, since he was there and is technically an owner. He says they didn’t rob it, then they didn’t rob it.”

“That’s a total crock of-” Applejack started.

Twilight magically zipped Applejack’s lips. “Sheriff Copper Top, you cannot expect that to hold up in court.”

“What court?” Copper Top asked. “There’s nothing to go to court with. Sunny already said Tom had to fix the furniture, window, and walls they all destroyed. Bob said they didn’t rob it. To me, it’s all settled then.

“Besides, Sunny said it was Bob’s call.”

Twilight froze. “W-what?”

Copper Top shrugged. “Sunny said it was Bob’s call. He was there, and he would know what happened and how to handle it. So if Bob says it was just a bar fight, it was just a bar fight.”

“What a load of horseapples...” Rainbow whispered under her breath.

Thomas stepped up beside the pegasus, patting her head. “It’s okay, you did fight good though. Thanks for the-”

Rainbow swatted his hand away forcefully, then finally breaking her silence she said, “Don’t give me any thanks, you’re letting these bad guys go! We know what they’re really like, and what they’ve done. We know-”

“I know, that they served their time for those past mistakes,” Thomas looked to the bulls, “right?”

All five nodded.

“So there you have it. End of story. I gotta get going, I have lots of work to do.” Thomas made for the door, but stopped to look back again. “Longhorn, Holstein, Jersey Shore, Bull, Angus, it was fun.”

All five bulls nodded, then retrieved their hats. “Likewise, we have somewhere to be too. We got a long trip ahead of us.” Longhorn said.

“Good. Just remember what I told you guys.” Thomas saluted, then walked out with Bob close behind.

The bulls walked out as well, passing the mares with a tip of their hats. Twilight noticed the most unnerving thing was they actually looked… happy. There were the slight traces of smiles on their muzzles. Not how she remembered them acting to her before.

As the last bull exited the jailhouse, Sheriff Copper Top let out a sigh. “Every damn time. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Tom should have been the town sheriff, not me.” Copper Top placed his hat on the rack.

“So that’s it then? You’re just gonna let them go?” Rarity asked.

“Eeyup. That’s it.”

Applejack finally unzipped her mouth. “Twilight, you gotta have some sort of authority to detain them vagrants longer, right?” Applejack asked.

“Sadly, I wasn’t there Applejack. I believe you, trust me I do, but what Copper Top said was fairly correct. If the owners aren’t going to press charges, then there is nothing we can do.” Twilight sighed. “I just don’t understand why.” Twilight looked out the window, seeing the five bulls on their goats stampeding out of town. “Why did Thomas and Bob just let them go?”

“Princess,” Copper Top spun in his chair to face the mares, “Old Tom is a strange duck. He does things when you least expect them, and they have the strangest of outcomes. I guarantee you one thing, Tom’s first stop is Swift to send out a telegram to someone, somewhere in Equestria, that they now have five new workers on their way.”

“Huh?” Twilight looked back to the sheriff. “What does that mean?”

“Tom has a way to get on bad guys levels. He gets them, understands that sometimes, they just need a second chance, or third, or fourth.”

“So he just lets them go?”

“That’s a simple way to put it. He puts them in another place, where they end up using the time they’d be in jail, to instead build a new life.”

“Oh sure, and you know this how?” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes.

Copper Top looked at his desk a moment, then pulled open the top center drawer and began sifting through the mess.

“Because, once upon a time, a young, foolish stallion tried to rob this town.” Copper Top starred at the group of mares.“Well, he got caught easily enough by a creature he’d never seen before, and his name was Thomas Baker. So, one thing lead to another, and the two got into a fight in the bank. Messed up the place real good.

“So, when all was said and done, both found themselves in that very same jail cell behind me. At first that stallion wanted nothing more than to kick that human’s flank for catching him, but then something strange happened. He started to complain about his right shoulder, from his first bar fight, and soon the two were talking and laughing about past mistakes. Soon enough, the twenty four hours were up for Thomas, and just before that door could close on the stallion, he grabbed the gate.

“He told some bullshit story about how, apparently, that stallion thought the bank was still open and wanted to deposit a bit, and how Thomas had just so happened to be working on some flooring. One thing lead to another, and inadvertently the two had destroyed half the bank lobby and sent bit coins everywhere. At first everyone called horseapples, even the stallion soon to be on trial.

“Yet, to humor the human, they counted the bits. Sure enough, there was one extra coin, but not a bit. And, more so, no handkerchief worn by the culprit. So, charges were dropped, and the stallion was let go.”

“So then what?” Fluttershy asked.

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah, what happened to the stallion?”

Twilight stood still, her mind running a mile a minute as the pieces started to form.

Finally finding what he was looking for, Copper Top pulled out an old, worn handkerchief, heavily frayed on the edges, and laid it on the desk top.

“Thomas put in a good word for the stallion, and soon enough he got a job. That one bit in the bank got him started on a new life, and soon he was able to bring over his ill wife and young son to live with him in his new hometown. Now that older, still a bit dumb, stallion is the sheriff of the very same town.”

Twilight and her friends all looked at the handkerchief, and in the middle sat a single gold coin, but not a bit. Much thinner, and with a face other than Celestia’s on it, the words clearly on it “In God We Trust.”

The six mares exited the jail house several minutes later, all in varying states of distress. Half of them found what Thomas had done to be noble, but left a bad taste in their mouths. The other half thought the entire thing was wrong and wanted to kick the human’s flank, or butt, whatever he called his posterior.

The only thing that could properly be decided on was that they all needed to do some serious thinking about the events surrounding Thomas. So, as they walked back towards Sunny Side’s, they talked.

“I’m starting to think simply giving a yay or neigh from each of us isn’t going to cut it,” Twilight said, the first to speak.

“Why? I still feel it appropriate,” Rarity said.

“It just feels like, every time we think we get a grasp on him, he goes and does something out of nowhere that changes our perception of him,” Twilight said.

“Speak for yourself, darling. My opinions of him have not changed.”

“Even with what he’s done for the townsponies?” Fluttershy asked.

Rarity hesitated a moment. “I will admit, I thought about it most of the night, but yes. I still say neigh. Especially after yesterday’s incident at the Inn. So barbaric.”

“Well I’m still yay.” Fluttershy stomped a forehoof with a bit more force.

“Okay, well what about you Applejack?”

Applejack was quiet, chewing on her lower lip, deep in thought.

“Well, I know what my answer is,” Rainbow spoke up.

“Very well, since Applejack seems to still be mulling it over, what’s your answer Dash?”

“It’s a total yay from me.”

At Rainbows words, her five friends stopped in their tracks.

“Say that again, darling?”

Rainbow turned around, landing and tucking her wings away. “I said yay.”

“Wow, honestly Rainbow, I didn’t think you would,” Twilight said.

“Why?”

“Well, we all know you were smitten with his fighting-”

“Would you cut that out, Rarity? Yeesh,” Rainbow cut off.

Rarity continued, “-But after the incident at the jail house, I thought you’d surely change your mind.”

“I have’ta agree with Rares there, Dash. I didn’t think you’d change your mind,” Applejack finally spoke.

“I honestly didn’t think you’d even changed your mind from the previous night, when Rarity and Fluttershy shared their thoughts,” Twilight said.

Rainbow shrugged. “His stupid decision-making aside, I could tell he really cares about this town. I know I’ve gotten into fights over lesser things, but not by much. I figured at first he was just a jerk and didn’t care about anypony. Then, the guy goes and tries to take on five bulls on his own. I know he had Bob there for support, but I think he didn’t think me or AJ were gonna step in to help.”

Rainbow took back to the sky to hover over her friends. “The way I see it, if he has the attitude to wanna take on a fight like that, then I’m sure he’s got it in him to wanna take care of the town he calls home. So, I say yay.”

The five other mares just stared on at Dash, Fluttershy smiling up at her closest friend as she spoke.

“Wow, Dash. That was a bit more insightful than I expected from you,” Twilight blurted.

Rainbow rose a brow. “Really, Twi? You didn’t think I’d actually try with this?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say not try, just that…” Twilight rolled her hoof in the air.

“I think Twi’s just sayin’ that you put more thought into the why of the fight, instead of the aftermath, and it caught ‘er by surprise.”

“Yes, thank you Applejack,” Twilight said, while nodding.

“Oh, well then yeah, I guess so,” Rainbow said. “So what about you then, A-J?”

Applejack let out a sigh. “As much as I wanna agree with Dash, because honestly I do, I just can’t see lettin’ known criminals like that go.”

“For the record, he didn’t really know about our past with them, so you can’t factor that into the equation,” Twilight said.

“But he was there, hay he knew they were trying to rob the place. Past incidents don’t mean nothin’, it was about the then and there. I don’t care what the Sheriff says, or thinks either. Nor does it matter our past. He shouldn’t be so willing to forgive and forget somethin’ like that.”

“But Applejack, isn’t that against what we are here for?” Fluttershy asked.

Applejack rose a brow. “I don’t follow ya.”

“How often is it that we give ponies a second chance? Look at Trixie, for example.”

At the sound of her name, Trixie Lulamoon chose that moment to dump a trash can into a nearby dumpster, making enough loud noise to draw the attention of all six mares standing in the road.

Trixie looked on. “What? Trixie heard her name, therefore she can eavesdrop all she wants.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Go on Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Right. Trixie was given another chance after the magic duel, and now look at her.”

Again, the six mares all turned to look at the magician, wearing a hairnet and a stained, dirty apron, leaning against a dirty trash can with flies buzzing around her. With a quick puff of magic, a flyswatter materialized and swatted at one.

“Well, um, she’s changed her ways, hasn’t she?” Fluttershy asked.

“You do have a point, Fluttershy. I will give you that,” Rarity said, choosing to stand on the other side of the group, giving distance between the smelly garbage and herself.

“Thomas is trying to give those bulls another shot. Maybe this will be the one they needed. You heard the Sheriff, he’s probably gone over right now and made a telegram to somepony he knows.”

Thomas slammed his empty glass on the counter. “Hey Bob, once you’re done fondling your wife in the kitchen, pour me another shot will ya?”

“If the townsponies can put enough trust into Thomas and have faith in his decisions, then so do I.”

Applejack let out another sigh. “I guess you’re right, ‘Shy.”

“Hah!”

Again, the six mares all turned to Trixie at her outburst.

“Um, do you have something you’d like to add, uh, Trixie?” Fluttershy asked.

“You seriously think what that bone head does is for the benefit of the town? Or anyone for that matter? As if. He doesn’t care about nopony or nothing. He just wants ponies to think that, so that he can get away with being a jerk.”

“Do you really hate him that much, Trixie?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, yes Trixie does.”

“But why? What did he do to you?”

“Trixie has her reasons, she doesn’t need to share them with princesses who think they know everything, but clearly dont.”

Twilight let out a sigh. “Fine, have it your way.”

“Trixie shall." With a nod, Trixie took the trash can in her magic and began to walk back into Sunny’s, but paused a moment. “Although, if you really want the proof of his foolishness, you’ll find it upstairs in his shop,” and with that, Trixie returned through the service door on the side of Sunny’s.

“That was, oddly helpful,” Rarity said.

Rainbow rolled her eyes, turning back to her friends, “So, now what?”

Twilight magicked a scroll in front of her. “Well, from how I figure it, we got three days still before we have to head back to Ponyville. Tomorrow, it will be Pinkie and my turn to engage with Thomas. Then that should leave us with two days to discuss, compile our notes and findings, and ultimately decide if he gets the medal.”

“Don’t forget about my money.”

Everypony looked to Thomas as he came down Sunny Side’s steps. Approaching the open backdoors on his van, he threw broken remnants of furniture inside with his good arm.

“I thought you didn’t want anything from us?” Rainbow asked, flying over to the human.

“No, I said I didn’t want no stinking medal. The bits would be nice, though. Help get me out of the tight spot I’ve put myself in trying to fix things up.”

“And yet you go and bust up a Inn’s dining room?”

Thomas shrugged. “Hey, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.”

Twilight’s right eye twitched. “That has nothing to do with broken furniture.”

“But it is what I had for lunch. Also I’ll have this stuff fixed in no time, so no worries.”

“You do know that half of the furniture inside was fixed by Twilight, right?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah, Sunny said something about that. I still gotta go over some of them though. While your magic is nice, it’s not really suited for carpentry.”

A few strands of hair stood out in Twilight’s mane.

“Uh, well I think it’s best time we returned to what we were doing, right girls?” Applejack asked, trying to draw Twilight away.

All the mares nodded their heads, regrouping and walking away.

Thomas threw some more chair parts into his van. “Wasn’t the only reason you’re here to watch me? So, technically you don’t have anything else to be doing?”

Rainbow dragged her hooves down her face with a moan. “Way to be a buzzkill.”

“Well, there’s still plenty of day left. You last two can come watch me work for a bit, comment and question everything I say and do, then regroup later and talk about me behind my back.”

Rarity eyed the human skeptically. “This is part of the ‘getting us out of your hair quicker’ goal, isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah.” Thomas closed the van doors “Lucky guess.”

Turn Around

Author's Note

With the change from analog to digital television some years ago, I lost the ability to watch PBS, and in turn, every Sunday night at 8pm The Lawrence Welk Show, which was one of my favorite things to do with family. That being said, the first half of this chapter is just me gushing over polka music and why the accordion is an amazing instrument.

In other news, I finally got one of them converter box thingies, and go it hooked up to the old rabbit ears. Now I can watch Jonny Carson at 11pm if I get home from work on time, or Perry Mason at 1130, if the guests on Carson are kinda boring. I've found true happiness once again. Now if only PBS would bring back Lawrence Welk...

In other news, upon the posting of this chapter, keep an eye on my blog posts, for in the next day or two I will be making a couple of announcements regarding my writings, both past and future.

Turn Around

It all happened so fast, Twilight wasn’t sure why she was even surprised. She’d turned around to say bye to her group of friends, and join Thomas in his… vehicle when he just up and left in it without her! Sure, his shop was just down the road, but it was still a bit rude of him! After all, he’d let Applejack and Rainbow Dash ride in it, and getting any useful data out of those two was only helpful if the contraption ran on apples or clouds, which she highly doubted.

Then Pinkie Pie was gone. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for her pink friend, but still, it would have been nice if either of them had waited for her. She trotted up the steps to Thomas’ shop, the doors still locked from when the sheriff had locked them the night prior on Thomas’ behalf. The CLOSED sign hung in one of the glass planes. Walking around the building, she found a neat little driveway with two long wheel tracks going along the side. If Twilight had to guess by the many scraps along the side of the human’s shop, his vehicle barely fit in the gap.

Twilight approached, cool and under control, spying quickly Thomas’ vehicle as she came around the back. He was just stepping out of the thing himself, closing the door with a slam that was just on the edge of annoyed and teetering towards anger. Twilight trotted around the opposite side, towards a large set of double doors, easily big enough for his vehicle to fit through.

“You could have at least waited for me,” Twilight said, blowing a bit of her mane out of her face.

Thomas shrugged his good shoulder, then quickly undoing the latch opened one of the double doors. Twilight peered inside, and what she found… was pretty much exactly what Rarity and Fluttershy had explained. An ordinary looking wood shop, half a dozen benches held near completed or just started projects. With a flick of a switch, the hum of lights came on overhead, the bulbs taking their time in warming up.

“God how I miss fluorescent lights,” Thomas said with a shake of his head.

Twilight looked at the lights. “Well, considering you don’t have them covered with any shades to help direct the light, they’re not going to be very bright.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Twilight raised a brow.

“Never mind, too hard to explain, and honestly I don’t know enough about them myself.”

“Well, try.”

Thomas reached for the handle of the back door on his vehicle, pausing a moment at Twilight’s words. “See, back home, we had lights in tubes that were called fluorescent lights because they were super bright, and came on instantly.”

Twilight blinked. “Wait, instantly? No warm up time?”

Thomas shook his head. “They were a bit more energy efficient too, although prone to flickering when they got old. Just, if you broke one, you had to be cautious ‘cause they had mercury in them.”

“What’s so dangerous about mercury?” Twilight asked.

Thomas stared at the mare like her height matched her age. A wicked smile came across his lips, remembering the one time he broke open a thermometer to play with the shiny liquid in his hands when he was a dumb, naive child. The good ol’ days, he fondly remembered.

He patted Twilight on the head with his hand. “Nothing, nothing at all.”

Twilight frowned at his attitude shift, like he was holding something back on her expense. Again, Thomas went to open the van door, when suddenly they both swung open at him, and Pinkie Pie leaped out.

“I did it! I figured out how to open the doors!” Pinkie cheered to herself, bouncing in place on the ground.

Twilight shook her head at Pinkie’s antics. When she looked over to Thomas, she found instead a empty spot where he had been. Turning around further, Twilight found the human hiding behind the open door, a hammer in his good hand.

Oh right, this is the first time Thomas has interacted with Pinkie, I should probably have warned him… although, turnabout is fair play I suppose. A smile coming back to Twilight’s lips.

“Thomas, I know I introduced you to Pinkie Pie at least once.” Twilight pointed to the mentioned mare, who smiled even bigger.

Thomas came out from behind the door, claw hammer still firmly in his grasp. “How in the nine depths of Hell did she get in there? She was with you when I left, and the doors were locked. There’s no way she-” Thomas stopped talking, noticing the silly smile on Twilight’s face. “This is more of that magic crock, isn’t it?”

At that, both mares looked to each other, and back to Thomas with a shrug.

Thomas tossed the hammer back onto the nearest bench. “I swear, you ponies…” He then grabbed his wheelbarrow, although struggled to use it one handed, and brought it to the back of the van where he began unloading chair, stool, and table parts.

“Would you like some assistance, Thomas?” Twilight asked, feeling like she had to at least offer, but already knowing the-

“Yeah, just pick up all this junk, and put it over there.” Thomas walked away from the van, and into his shop and pointed at a bare spot on the floor.

-Or, you know, he’d actually take her up on the offer.

With swift motion of her head, her horn lit up and she picked up all the broken pieces, and some of the furniture that she’d put back together, and put them in a pile as gracefully as she could.

Thomas looked at the pile of his destruction with a shake of his head. “I always told Sunny she needed better chairs and tables, and this just proves my point.”

Twilight rose a brow, while Pinkie wandered into the shop and began snooping around at each workbench.

Thomas went on, picking up the back of a chair. “I mean, I know she was trying to be cheap, but I could have even reinforced this junk a little and they would have held up better.”

“So you didn’t make them?” Twilight asked.

Thomas blew a raspberry. “No, had I, we’d maybe broken a couple chairs and a stool or two. No, she had this stuff ordered when me and Mister Fixit were busy building the Mayor’s office.”

“Mister Fixit and I,” Twilight stated.

Thomas slapped a hand on his face, dragging it down slowly.

“Well whatever. I need to get to work, so you two can-”

“Ooooh, what’s this?”

At Pinkie’s excited words, Thomas and Twilight turned to the mare, now studying the covered bench that Rarity had mentioned the other day, holding…

“Hey, don’t-” Thomas began, but was cut off by a dirty sheet being tossed over him.

As Thomas fought to get the sheet off of himself, Twilight walked closer to join Pinkie Pie in studying the baby crib. It was, without a doubt, a work of pure carpentry art. So much ornate work was put into each baluster, carving on every flat surface. It was impossible for Twilight to judge how many hours it must have taken to do all this ornate work. More so, she couldn't tell if it was stained to be that dark of a wood, or it was already that dark of a wood, which if her memory served her correctly…

“Is this Peruvian Walnut?” Twilight asked, looking back to the human.

He’d finally gotten the sheet off, and was glaring at the two mares. At Twilight’s words, however, he let out a sigh and stepped over.

“Yes, actually. How’d you know?”

“Somepony I know has furniture of the same kind. I only recognized it because I’d asked her.”

Thomas rested his hand on the crib. “Yeah, I had some left over from a project I did a few years back. Didn't know what to do with it, until recently…

Twilight followed Thomas’ gaze to the vintage photograph, tacked onto the back of the bench. Using her magic (and without asking Thomas noted) Twilight levitated the photo over, inspecting it.

“Is this the same crib?” Twilight asked.

“No. That original one was destroyed.”

“How?” Pinkie asked, looking over Twilight’s shoulder.

“Tirek.”

Both mares looked up to Thomas, his face fighting a scowl as he tried to look neutral, his eyes still focused on the photograph.

“It was a family heirloom to a friend here in town, and when her house got destroyed… so did the crib.”

“You’re trying to replicate it.” Twilight stated, already noticing the very same markings and detail in the photo against the crib in person.

“Yeah, just one thing missing, and it’s a real pain in my ass,” Thomas said, grabbing one of his own stools and taking a seat.

Twilight looked from photograph to crib, then realized something.

“Is that paint work?”

“Gold leafing, actually,” Thomas said with frustration clear in his voice. “I’ve been practicing it for weeks, and for the life of me, I can’t do it.”

Pinkie Pie took the photograph from Twilight’s magic, inspecting the image carefully. Twilight ignore her friend, turning back to Thomas.

“Don’t you know anypony that can do it?”

“In Equestria, not offhand; the only person I knew was my father’s friend Butch. Did custom motorcycle work, but he died years before I came here.”

“You know, as you mention that, I’ve been reading your book, but yet have I read anything about how you came here. I was wondering, if you would-”

Twilight was cut off by the slam of a hoof on the work bench holding the crib. Both Thomas and Twilight stared at the pink mare, who’s face was stern and concentrated.

“Was this pattern done on both sides?” Pinkie asked, looking to Thomas.

The human blinked, adjusting himself on the stool. “As far as I know, yes. Wait, why?”

Pinkie reached a hoof into her mane, pulling out a small tackle box covered in little heart and cloud stickers. Thomas fought the urge to scream, while Twilight rolled her eyes.

“What is it now, Pinkie?”

The mare looked from the crib to Thomas, her expression still emotionless. “Five hours.”

Twilight blinked, looking to Thomas who was staring at the pink mare, completely lost.

“Five hours?”

“I need five hours.” Pinkie opened the tackle box, and what was inside made Twilight cock her brow.

Small, fine little paint brushes, along with small jars of what looked like gold specks and small sheets of gold paper.

Twilight gasped in shock. Thomas grinned from ear to ear.

“Are you telling me, you can gold leaf?” he asked.

“I’m a baker. Of course I can,” Pinkie replied, running a hoof through the tray of brushes, all of which were very small with only a few bristles.

Twilight looked to her friend with a new appreciation, before something came to mind.

“Pinkie, gold leaf on cakes is a lot different than paint work. Are you sure you can do it?”

Thomas stood from his stool, deciding bend down onto one knee to stare at the pink mare. “Yeah, what she said. This wood is very rare, and expensive. If you screw up, then I gotta sand down and do it again, or take chemical’s to it and hope it doesn’t ruin the wood finish.”

Pinkie Pie, party pony extraordinaire, master cake baker and cupcake chomper, grinned at the two like she was holding a full house.

“Oh yeah, but on one condition.”

Thomas glanced to Twilight, who shrugged, then returned his gaze back to Pinkie. “Fine, what?”

“You owe me a rootbeer float…”

“Oh, is that all?”

“... at your party.”

Thomas went silent.

“You’re still hell bent on throwing me a party, huh?” Thomas stood, kicking his left leg to shake away the numbness.

The pink mare responded with a single nod, placing her hoof on the lid of the tackle box, threatening to close it.

“It’s a party, or nothing.”

Thomas ran his hand through his hair, deep in thought.

“No ban on alcohol.”

Twilight looked from Pinkie, who’d never done anything like this before, back to Thomas.

“You allow booze, then it’s a deal.” Thomas kneeled down again, on his right knee this time, and reached his good arm out, hand open.

Pinkie stared the human down, her eyes half-lidded as she studied him. After what felt like agonizing hours to Twilight, the pink mare let show a sly smile and placed her hoof into the human’s hand.

“Deal.”

“Wait, just like that?” Twilight protested. “Pinkie, you can’t seriously be thinking of-”

“Relax, Twilight! I’ll have it all under control, don’t you worry your pretty little face.” Pinkie tapped Twilight’s cheek with a hoof, then turned to face the crib. “I need a stool.”

In a blur, Thomas grabbed the stool he had been using prior and placed it before the pink mare. She took a seat. Without even asking, the human then grabbed the tackle box off the floor and placed it on the bench surface.

“You said five hours, right?” Thomas asked.

Pinkie only nodded her head.

“This could work. I can get a majority of the furniture done, then we can take the crib over to Golden Amethyst's, check and see if the roofing materials are there, and seeing they probably aren’t still come back and call it a day!”

At Twilight’s knowing glance, Thomas rolled his eyes and added. “And you two can ask me invading questions while you watch me work.”

“Thomas, I’m not sure how much work you can do with one arm in a sling,” Twilight noted.

Thomas rolled the injured shoulder, then carefully removed his arm from the sling with a small hiss of pain. “I’ll be fine. Growing up in Detroit, I was in way worse fights than that.”

Twilight eyed the human skeptically, but with a toss of the sling with the bad arm, Twilight let out a sigh. “Okay, fine. But I insist on helping.”

Thomas walked over to the pile of scraps, picking up one of the chairs Twilight had put back together. Lifting it up a couple of feet, he dropped it, the chair landing perfectly on all four legs. Twilight blinked, and within seconds the chair crumbled to pieces. The mare’s jaw dropped.

“Magic can do wonderful things, but unless you actually know what you are doing, you might as well be using spit as lube.”

Pinkie let out a snort of laughter. Twilight looked to her friend, now wearing, of all things, a pair of glasses that resembled Rarity’s sewing glasses. The only difference was the corners were decorated with little balloons matching her cutie marks.

Then she looked back to Thomas, brow raised.

“At least she gets that kind of humor,” Thomas gestured to the pink mare.

Pinkie Pie carefully removed some items from her tackle box. “Oh please, when it comes to innuendo jokes, I’m the queen. Most ponies don’t even know it when it happens, but I do.”

Thomas snorted a laugh. For some reason, Twilight felt like these two were ignoring her presence in the room.

“Oh, Tommy, one last thing,” Pinkie asked, blinking her eyes rapidly at the human.

“Only if you promise to never call me that again. I had an ex that called me that, wasn’t a pretty break up.”

Twilight saw Pinkie’s right eye twitch, knowing very well that her friend like to give anyone she knew little “pet” names.

“Okie dokie, lokie. But, I need one last thing. I need music.”

It was Thomas’ turn to raise a brow. “That it?” He went towards his stereo.

“But alas, for my entire heart to be in a project, I need something more than boring old country, or even soft rock, I need something with a little more, spring in it,” Pinkie said, winking at Twilight.

Twilight looked to Thomas, who was frowning. “But, the only other station you said you get was-”

Then it clicked, and Twilight smiled. Oh Pinkie, you crafty, crafty mare you.

“Fine. Just, don’t start dancing around my shop.” Thomas pressed a button on his stereo, then flipped a switch and the sound of country music began, but he quickly turned a dial, and before long, the static was replaced with the joyous sound of clapping and singing, and a catchy tune that made Twilight want to tap her hooves with the beat.

Thomas looked at the stereo like he wanted to punch it.

And Pinkie Pie… closed her eyes, letting the music go through her entire being. Her mind, heart, and soul absorbed the music of her people, and she let out a content sigh, steadying her hooves, holding a brush and small can. Pinkie Pie smiled, gentle and sincere.

“Here we go.”

Twilight couldn’t figure out what made her more uncomfortable given her current situation. The fact that Pinkie Pie was being so still and meticulous with her work, or how much complaining Thomas Baker could do. Truly, Rarity should be worried he could out complain her in any argument with how much he grumbled and moaned on about his work.

And the once joyous polka music in the background now made her want to put a claw hammer through her temple.

Twilight swore the clock on the wall before her was wrong. It just had to be, and yet, there was no denying it. It had only been thirty minutes in, and she was already going insane.

“I mean, come on, look at this! Barely any effort put into this seat. Just pitiful.”

Thomas, in his excitement, waved a brush around with glue on it and splattered some onto Twilight’s coat. It matched well with the other globs already hanging from her mane and tail. For such a skilled carpenter, the human loved his glue.

The song ended, and as Twilight braced for another, she found her ears perking up as a voice came over the radio.

“Hello, Equestria. How are you this perfect day?”

The voice was almost alien, how she, and it was a she, practically dripped with sarcasm at the mention of “Equestria” and “perfect day”, like the two things didn’t belong in the same sentence together.

“Oh, but who am I kidding? You all know me well enough by now, that it’s Celestia who’s kidding you all. That’s right, as she sits up there in her castle of marble and gold, while the rest of you toil and work for what little scraps you can get.”

Twilight had her full attention on the radio, and didn’t notice Thomas picking up a rubber mallet until he slammed it against the leg of a chair.

“We are all ponies of Equestria, are we not? As far away as Canterlot is, we are still within Celestia’s borders, and yet we’re ignored. Left for dead, to decay along with her promises she made our ancestors. I ask you, as ponies, as friends, should we stand for this kind of behavior? Should we stand around, idle as our lives just drain away into nothing? Or should we fight back! Get mad, and show that sun butt of a queen who she’s been ignoring for all these years? I say yes.”

“Who is this?” Twilight looked to Thomas, her ears flat and fear in her eyes as she struggled to reign in her emotions.

“I dunno. She never gives herself a name, but for some reason she’s really into polka music.” Thomas put a clamp between two legs, and set the now complete chair away from the pile. “Okay, one down… a lot more to go.”

“I just can’t understand what would drive a pony this mad to want to go against Celestia! It makes no sense!”

“You know this would go faster if you helped…”

“I mean, she’s dripping with sarcasm every time she mentions Equestria or Celestia’s name, and everything else she says is so full of spite… I can’t even imagine what she must be going through.”

“Like, all you gotta do is help separate the different chair parts so I can go through them easier… literally that’s it.”

“... and how she makes other ponies do her dirty work for her. Those insufferable six are tasked with cleaning up her messes of her past, and for what? What do they get out of it?”

“And she also talks about us!? This is crazy. This mare is crazy!”

“By how your hair is literally splitting apart at the ends, I think this was a very bad idea. Maybe if you did something to distract yourself, oh say, helped me, then maybe it would help keep your mind off this crazy ass mare.”

Twilight was now breathing heavily. “What does she say about everypony else? Does she go after our families too!? What’s her-”

Thomas placed his hands on the mare’s shoulders. Twilight looked up to Thomas with panic in her eyes. In a quick motion, he slapped the Princess of Friendship on the face, not hard to leave a mark, but enough to snap her out of it.

“That bitch is crazier than candy bar shit. Always has been. She’s been spewing garbage out of her mouth since before I came here. I think if she was a serious threat, the princesses would have dealt with her by now. So chill the fuck out, she’s almost done with her bullshit, then the music will go on again for a couple more hours and we can maybe get most of this shit back together, okay?”

Twilight rubbed her cheek. “You slapped me.”

“I have slapped many-a-pony cheek in my time.”

Pinkie let out a snort of laughter.

“So just chill the fuck out, okay? Because if I gotta slap sense back into you then by God almighty I will just do that.” Thomas waved his hand. “These hands were made for slapping, and slapping’s what they do.”

Twilight blinked.

“That was a parody of a song… that you probably don’t even know, so never mind. Now please stop giving me that insane pony look, I get that enough from Short Circuit.”

Twilight’s ears perked up, the mare’s voice gone and now replaced with music once again.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… wow you slapped me… that mare sounded so… vile, so… evil.”

“I wouldn’t call her that. She’s passionate about what she believes in. In ways it’s admirable. Also I could always slap you more if you’d like.”

“Das lood,” Pinkie said, not taking her concentration away from her work.

“Admirable? How could you say that? She sounded-”

Thomas placed a finger over Twilight’s lips, shushing her. “It takes some brass balls to be able to go on an open radio wave, every day, for hours each day, and belittle a country ran by two ponies who move celestial bodies. Is it right? Eh, not for me to say, but the fact that she can wake up every morning and be able to do what she thinks is right in her mind and be ready to face the consequences… that takes a lot of strength.”

Twilight was quiet for several long seconds. Enough time for Thomas to stand up and return to the chair parts.

What Twilight heard over that radio boiled her blood. She wanted to find that pony, and shove enough rainbow power down her throat to fix whatever had happened to her to make her hate Equestria so much.

And then, she began to think about the words Mayor Billfold had told her before… about how all these ponies in this town came here to escape Equestria… Her focus turned to Thomas.

“Is what Mayor Billfold said true? That the ponies in this town came here to escape?”

Thomas stopped what he was doing. “For the most part, I guess yeah. Now-a-days, most of them are just here because they grew up in this town.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you here to… escape?”

Thomas stared at Twilight, his eyes piercing her very skin. Even Pinkie had stopped working, watching the two with attention only rivaled by Twilight herself.

“If I’d been trying to escape anything, there are better places I would have chosen,” Thomas said slowly.

“So you didn’t choose to come here?”

“I thought we went over this the other night.”

Twilight blinked. “You… remember that night?”

Thomas raspberried. “I may be a drunkard, but I still know what’s going on when I’m blitzed.” Thomas clamped two halves of a chair seat together, the glue oozing out of the crack. “But yes, I did not come here on my own volition, and before you ask no, I don’t know what did.”

Twilight closed her mouth, her question already answered… though not the way she wanted.

“Now, just help me with separating these chair parts so that maybe I can have these all together by the end of the day, and they’ll have all day tomorrow to cure.”

Once they found a steady rhythm of work, the remaining four hours went by relatively fast, with only one more interruption of the music by the crazed mare. Pinkie was done with her work quicker than she’d estimated, but was good because it gave time for it all to dry properly.

As Thomas loaded the crib into the back of his vehicle, he couldn’t help but continue to gawk at the work. He let out another long whistle.

“Man, you did a damn good job.”

Pinkie rubbed a forehoof on her chest, faking enthusiasm, “I get that a lot.”

“I bet.”

Both Pinkie and Thomas giggled. If Twilight wasn’t the Princess of Friendship, she’d have found their quick bonding to be disgusting… but she couldn’t help but smile as the two conversed and got along surprisingly well.

Then again, Pinkie wasn’t trying to pry or get info out of the human. She was just being friendly, talking and joking with the human.

Maybe she needed to take a step back, and actually follow her own Friendship Reports, and try to be friends with Thomas before she expected any sort of answers. Wow, that only took, what, four days Twilight. Good job, using that brain for once.

Twilight slapped her forehead, shaking her head.

“Alright, hop in you two,” Thomas said, holding open the front door on the right side of the vehicle.

“Pick me up, Tom!” Pinkie sat before the human, forelegs extending up high.

“Really?”

The mare nodded. “You picked up Applejack! Me next! Me next! Me- whee!”

Thomas grabbed the mare under her arms, and hoisted her into the van. “I swear, you’re like little kids sometimes.” Thomas placed Pinkie in on the seat far enough to leave an open spot for Twilight.

Twilight stopped at the open door, looking in and studying with a twinge of both curiosity and fear.

“What, want me to pick you up too? You’re all sick in the head.” Thomas reached down to grab the mare, but she quickly backed away.

“N-no no, I’m just, trying to study it is all.”

“Well you can study it from the inside. Hurry up, we’re burning daylight.”

With a sigh, Twilight flapped her wings and hopped in, sitting beside Pinkie who was poking at random things on the dash. Thomas shut the door, walked around, and entered on the other side. Twilight watched in wonder as he reached around and turned a knob, or key; something she couldn't see well, and the vehicle roared to life. Pinkie bounced between the two, excitement all over her face.

“Dashie said you have a radio on here! Music! Music!” Pinkie cheered.

“No polka,” Twilight begged.

“No worries. The antenna broke in here years ago, and I only have two CD’s.” Thomas reached over to a rectangle device, glowing different colors, and pressed a button. It flashed even brighter, and after a whirring sound music began to play through the speakers. Crisp, clear, and pleasant.

Grabbing a lever and pulling down, the vehicle lurched forward, and after a narrow miss on the side of his building they were out onto the main street, passing ponies slowly. Occasionally somepony would wave, and before long they were leaving town, the opposite direction of the dam Twilight noted.

Before long, they were out of town proper and so Thomas increased the vehicle’s speed. Twilight had opted to trade places with Pinkie so she could stick her head out the open Window. Thomas had instructed her how to use it, and before long Pinkie’s tail was wagging and her tongue was hanging out as she enjoyed the wind.

“Easily amused that one is,” Thomas said, lowering the volume on the radio to where they could talk.

“Yeah, but I can’t say I’m also not as excited to be in this vehicle. I have so many questions.”

“I’m sure you do, but let me just get out of the way that I don’t really know how everything works and what’s all happening at a mechanical level other than a few basics. My father was a lot more handy with vehicles than me or my brothers. He did the engine swaps on these vans after he bought them, something about being more reliable or something, I dunno.”

“Well, how does it work? What powers it?” Twilight poofed her magic, and a pencil and notepad appeared before her.

Thomas gave the mare a single glance, and after a groan to himself focused back on the road and began explaining what he could.

“... and the drive shaft goes to the rear end, and that moves the rear wheels. This van is also four wheel drive, so I can press this button here, and have better traction because it’s making all four wheels spin versus just the rear two. Sometimes, however, I gotta go outside and spin the center caps on the front wheels to get the four wheel to really engage.”

They’d only been driving for ten minutes, and already Twilight had gone through an entire notepad, and was on her second. Even impressing Thomas, she had two pencils going at once on seperate pieces of paper.

“Man, I can’t write when riding in a vehicle. I used to get car sick if I wasn’t looking outside all the time.”

“I used to ride around in sky carriages a lot, it never phased me because I was reading or writing something.”

“Heh, book nerd I take it?”

“Oh yeah, the nerdiest of nerds,” Pinkie called out from her seat, having returned from her adventures out the window minutes ago.

Twilight clicked her mouth shut, having been cut off before she could speak.

“Eh, relax. Someone’s gotta be smart for the rest of us dummies,” Thomas said with a laugh, and Pinkie joining.

Twilight ignored the two’s laughter, and flipped through her pages.

“One thing I’d like to ask about a little more, it’s something I read in your book.”

Thomas let out a long sigh. “Fine. All that time spent on that damn book, and all it does is just bring up more questions. Should never have let Bob talk me into writing it…”

Twilight ignored Thomas’ grumbling. “You mentioned the fuel this uses is called diesel, right?” Thomas nodded his head. “I’ve never heard of it before, and you said this gets a limited range before it needs to be filled again. So how are you powering it?”

Thomas bit his lip. “That’s, kind of a tricky answer.”

“Try me.”

“Okay, but no more questions afterwards, we’re almost there.”

“Fine.”

“Okay, so when my brothers and I were younger, we lived near an airport. Back then, security wasn’t a huge deal, you could just walk through the field, and as long as you weren’t stupid about it, stick to the buildings and watch the airplanes, or in Richard’s case, take his dates out and bang them on the low wings.”

Pinkie let out a snort.

“Hush, anyway, back then my father also owned a different kind of vehicle than this, a truck, and it was also a diesel. We found out through talking with the airport guys, that diesel and jet fuel were kinda similar. Jet fuel was a type of kerosene, and diesel in simple terms is just a dirty kerosene.

“So, whenever we wanted to go joy riding in our dad’s truck before we’d gotten our licenses, we’d just go to the airport and steal some jet fuel from a jet or refueler and fill it back up. He was none the wiser. Got away with it too, although he could never figure out why his exhaust had a strange smell to it.”

Twilight tilted her head. “So wait, what are you saying?”

“Matchbox dropped off a barrel of kerosene for me. That’s what I power this on. I just tell him to throw some petroleum oil in it to dirty it up, and that’s how I power this.”

“So, you’re using a substitute fuel that’s similar enough to what this was designed for?”

“In a nutshell, yeah, it’s… what the fuck?”

Twilight and Pinkie looked out the windshield, noticing they were approaching a small house. Outside that house, sat several large crates.

“I’ll be damned, that bastard came through.”

Thomas parked his van next to the crates. Getting out, he opened the other door for the two mares, then walked over to investigate. Taped to the side of one was an envelope, so Thomas tore it off and opened it.

“What’s it say?” Pinkie asked, bouncing in place.

“These supplies were intended for an orphanage. Now they’re yours. We’re even. Shanty.” Thomas read aloud, crumpling the letter and putting it into his pocket.

Pinkie visibly deflated. “W-what? Why?”

“He’s bullshitting me. He’s just pissed that he knows I can kick his ass, and is being petty.”

“Um, this crate says Nanny Belle’s Orphanage for the Unfortunate.”

Thomas looked to Twilight, pointing her hoof at the paint.

“They’ll be fine. Those kids went a while without a roof over their heads once, they can survive again.”

“That’s horrible!” Twilight shouted.

Before Thomas could rebuttal, the door on the little house opened, a mare stepping out. “Well, well, if it isn’t Thomas the wonder worker.”

Thomas raised a finger at Twilight, then marched over and knelt down to hug the mare, which she returned eagerly. “Hey Goldie, how’s the tyke?”

“She’s sleeping, took several hours. You know I just don’t have the singing voice like you.”

“You’ll get there someday.”

The two broke the hug, then with a cough from behind him Thomas turned to face the mares. “Goldie, this is Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie. You two, this is Golden Amethyst, wife of Gilded Top, a long time friend of mine. He’s currently serving the crown, so I’ve been helping out in his absence.”

“Oh please, you make it sound so official,” Golden said with a shake of her head. “And of course I know who Princess Twilight is.”

“You’d be the first…” Twilight grumbled under her voice, and Pinkie let out a giggle-snort.

“I guess you would if anypony, since Gilded’s been in the service for, what, four years now?” Thomas tapped his chin.

“Something like that. I lose track of time badly. He’s been gone on this latest tour for almost a year. He only got some time off to come home when Betts was born.”

“Then right to the Crystal Empire.”

“The poor stallion, he works himself too hard.”

Thomas patted Golden on her head. “Goldie, it’s fine. He’s fine. Right now, we got more important things to worry about.”

“Oh oh! Let me guess! Is it the cri-mph?” Pinkie was silenced by Twilight’s magic.

“Yes, that’s correct. It’s the crying of Betts if she wakes up from this work,” Thomas glared at the mare, who returned a sheepish expression.

“Oh, it’s almost time for her feeding anyway. I’m sure by the time you get ready to work I’ll have her up.”

“Sounds good. You two can go in and join her, I gotta get my ladder from around the house.”

“Don’t you want any help?” Twilight asked.

“If I do, I’ll hollar.”

With that, Thomas walked around the small house, and Golden opened her door gently to allow the ponies entrance.

Before long, Twilight and Pinkie were seated comfortably on a small couch, admiring the inside of the house. While the walls were still not painted, there were already paintings and photographs hanging up all around them.

Golden walked out of the kitchen with a tray on her back. “I hope you two don’t mind coffee. I’m out of tea.”

“That’s fine,” Twilight said, still looking around at the unfinished walls.

As Golden approached the table between the couch and two lounge chairs, Pinkie stood to remove the tray off her back and placed it on the table.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure!” Pinkie said, taking her seat again.

Golden sat in one of the chairs, and reached over to take a cup of coffee. “I know it’s not much to look at, but Thomas insisted that there was no point in painting the walls until the roof was done, in case we got a heavy rain and anything leaked in. Rather paint over the water stains than the water stain the paint, or so he says.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be staring. I’m just trying to wrap my head around how one being could do all this by himself.”

“Well, he did have some help. My father-in-law would come by whenever Thomas knew he needed a hoof.”

“Does he live in town?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, yes. I’m sure you’ve met him. Copper Top.”

“Whoa now, you’re saying the sheriff is your father-in-law?” Pinkie leaned her hooves on the table, pushing her face near Golden.

Golden nodded her head, then took a sip of her coffee. “I should see if Thomas would like a cup. I’ll be right back.” With that, Golden stood and walked out the front door, left ajar from earlier.

“I guess this is a small town… right Twilight?” Pinkie grabbed a cup, downing the liquid within seconds.

Twilight had distracted herself, staring at a painting on the wall to her right. Pinkie followed her gaze, and tilted her head. “Hey Twilight… isn’t that…?”

Ignoring Pinkie, Twilight stood and walked over to look at it better. It was a lone tree, with only a couple buildings around it. What stood out, however, was the little red door at the base of the trunk, a sign above it, and a couple windows here and there.

She ran her hoof along the frame, unable to look away. The painting was so vibrant and felt so alive, and the tree looked so young, the sign above the door not showing any wear yet.

“Golden Oaks Library.”

At those words, Twilight turned around, and standing in the doorway was Golden. “Misus Fixit had painted that a long time ago, said that she’d never seen anything like it. Earth ponies, taking a tree and, with the help of a unicorn, hollowed it out to turn it into a library, all without killing it.”

Twilight looked back to the painting.

“Twilight? Are you okay?” Pinkie asked from the couch, ears low.

“What’s the matter, Princess?”

Pinkie leaned over to Golden. “She preferred it if ponies called her by her name,” then pointed to the painting, “also, that’s where she used to live back in Ponyville.”

Golden blinked, then looked to Twilight. “You… you lived in Golden Oaks?”

Twilight nodded her head.

Golden set down the steaming cup of coffee intended for Thomas, then walked up to the mare and stood beside her, staring at the painting.

“My grandmother and grandfather built it, as the town was being founded. Some years later, after some dispute between the Apple and Pear family, they moved because the Pear family went where my grandfather couldn’t go because of bad blood, so they moved out this way. My grandmother, Golden Rule, brought with her most of the books that are now in the town’s library here.”

“You have a library?”

Golden nodded at Twilight. “It’s not much, but gets by for anything general.”

Inside, the house was silent for several long minutes until a loud crash resounded from outside, followed by cursing from Thomas and a foal’s wailing.

Golden swore, “Damn it Thomas… I gotta get to Betts. Could you see what Thomas just did?” Golden trotted into another room, leaving Twilight staring at the painting.

“Hey, Twilight?” Pinkie stood from the couch, touching Twilight’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s go check on Tom.”

Twilight wiped away a tear on her right cheek, then nodded her head. “Okay, let's go make sure he didn’t hurt himself.”

“Honestly, I thought the whole ‘baseball injury’ story was a rouse,” Twilight commented.

Pinkie stood beside a sitting Thomas, rubbing his shoulder with her hooves on either side.

“Contrary to my lying nature, no, my shoulder was actually injured, and I guess I pushed it too far,” Thomas replied.

“Again,” Golden added, holding her foal.

“Right.” Thomas rolled his eyes.

“Well, you should have known better than to try and pick up an entire box of shingles like that.” Golden sighed. “Well, what can we do to help?”

“Oh no, Goldie, you’re busy as it is! I’ll make the strong alicorn help before that.”

“Strong alicorn?” Twilight queried, but was promptly ignored.

“What about me, Tom?” Pinkie asked, removing her hooves from his shoulder.

Thomas rolled it around. “You have any experience?”

“Back home I helped my dad do our roof! Since we had lots of rocks already we just had to buy the tar, then heat it up which took a lot of our firewood for the winter, then-”

“Stop right there. I’m not doing a gravel roof. I’m going with a more modern approach.”

Twilight studied the broken-open box. “These are those asphalt shingles, correct? I’d heard of ponies using these in Manehattan.”

“New for you ponies. My home we’d been using these for fifty plus years. It took a while to get Shanty to get what I was saying, and he was skeptical at first. After some test runs he was impressed enough and started to market them.”

“Is that the favor he owed you?”

Thomas shook his head. “No, I kicked his ex-husband in the balls for him after they’d broken up. I had a horseshoe shaped bruise on my chest for a month.”

Both Pinkie and Twilight stared at one another, then to Golden who shrugged.

“Relax, these are relatively simple. Hardest part is keeping your balance on the ladder. You gotta-”

Thomas was interrupted by Twilight levitating the entire box worth of shingles around her, circling in a little dance.

Thomas frowned. “This is why I prefer you earth ponies. You’re more subtle about your abilities,” he said, patting Pinkie on the poof of her mane.

Pinkie nodded. “Buuuuuuuut, hey, maybe this will get done in no time at all!”

“Ooooooooor not,” Pinkie said, followed with a sigh.

Thomas was up the ladder, straightening a sheet. “Okay, now you can tack it down.”

Down below, Twilight’s horn was lit with magic as she moved around a hammer and roofing nails, tacking the shingle into place.

“So now, do you see what I mean?” Thomas called down.

“Yes, Tom, I do. I said I did the last row of shingles, and the one before that.” Twilight growled.

“Well you sure don’t seem to be understanding, since I’ve had to come up here and correct your work twenty-thousand times.”

“It was more like five!”

“Whatever! This is the problem with unicorns. You think you’re so good, and then you go and mess it all up. What’s next, gonna flood the gem market or rig a football game?”

“I’m an alicorn, thank you very much! And no, I’d never do something like that.”

“Do you even know what football is?”

“My guess? The same as hoofball, from all your complaining.”

Thomas turned on the ladder, and with a quick hop he’d fully turned around on the ladder. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

Golden marched over, foal still in her leg, “Alright you two, simmer down now. No need to get heated over a little thing like… whatever this is suppose to be about.” She sat down next to Pinkie.

“My guess is compensation!” Pinkie said.

“I’d believe it.” Golden hoof bumped Pinkie.

“Hey Goldie, hows that look for ya?” Thomas asked, turning himself back around to look at the roof.

“You know more about this than I do, Tom. You’re the judge.”

Thomas stepped down the ladder, joining the mares, and sat down on the ground beside Golden.

“Hmmmm…” Thomas rubbed his chin.

Twilight set down the hammer and box of nails and joined the group. “Well?”

“It’ll pass.” Thomas slapped his hands onto his knees.

“You’re welcome,” Twilight said with a huff.

“Sorry. Thank you for the help, you did good.” Thomas patted Twilight on the head.

“Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m being serious! For this being the first time you ever shingled a roof, you didn’t do bad. Hardest part is making sure they’re lined up… and not falling to your death, but mostly that they’re straight.”

“There! All is right in the world now!” Pinkie grabbed Thomas and Twilight, bringing the three together by the shoulders.

“Bad shoulder, Pinkie, bad shoulder!” Thomas groaned.

“Oops! Sorry, my bad!” Pinkie let them go.

“Well, I think it’s about time to get out of this sun. I could use a glass of lemonade, how about you?” Golden asked, standing.

“Oh yeah, for sure!” Pinkie jumped up with a spring, following Golden.

“That does sound good, after all that hard work,” Twilight followed next.

“You all go on ahead. I’ll be in in just a sec.”

Twilight looked back to Thomas, and he raised a finger up to his lips and hushed. Twilight nodded her head, then followed inside the house.

It was hard to not be drawn into the painting again, but Twilight did her best to give her host the most attention possible. Pinkie, already having the skill set, was tasked with holding the foal while Golden went to prepare lemonade in the kitchen.

“Who’s an adorable little filly? You are, yes you are!” Pinkie played with the foal, the later giggling all the while.

“I’m glad you’re gotten so good with foals, Pinkie,” Twilight said.

Pinkie nodded. “If I ever expect to have my own, I need to make sure I’m up for the task.”

Twilight blinked. “Wait, when-” she was cut off by a shout of alarm and glass shattering from the kitchen.

Both mares rushed into the room, careful not to step on any of the broken glass shards.

“Sorry, Goldie, I thought you were in the living room.”

Thomas was standing in the open kitchen door leading outside, holding the completed crib in his hands.

“Well, it was gonna be a surprise, so… surprise?”

Ignoring the glass, Golden stepped over to Thomas and placed a hoof on the wood.

“It’s…. This is…” Golden stuttered.

“I wasn’t able to really salvage any of the original, so I did my best. Pinkie did the paint work.”

Twilight spotted a broom, and quickly swept the broken glass into a pile. Taking the cue, Thomas walked past all three mares and into a small room off of the living room, where a modest sized bed sat.

He set down the crib, retrieved the small blanket on the bed, and placed it inside. Giving it a quick test rock, he looked back to the doorway where a teary-eyed Golden stood.

“Thomas, you never cease to awe me.”

“That’s because you’re married to a royal guard,” Thomas said with a smile.

Golden walked up to Thomas, and at a signal with her hoof he kneeled down. She wrapped her legs around the human, hugging him tight.

“Thank you, Tom.”

“Hey, I’m her Godfather. It’s practically my job.”

Suddenly, the foal began to cry, and the two broke their embrace so Golden could take her from Pinkie.

“Thank you too, Pinkie Pie.”

Pinkie hoofed over the foal. “No problem, Goldie!”

Golden began rocking the foal, humming all the while.

After solid minute of crying, Golden turned to Thomas. “I think this is another job for her Godfather.”

Thomas turned around, looking for something .“Yeah, where’s the-”

He saw what he was looking for. A small box on the end table. Grabbing it, he began cranking a little knob on the bottom, then set it back down. Twilight watched as music began to tinkle out of the box, although it was hard to hear with a foal crying.

Thomas took her from Golden, and held her in his arms and began rocking as her mother had tried. Then, Thomas began to sing.

“Where are you going, my little one, little one.
Where are you going, my baby my own.
Turn around, and you’re two.
Turn around, and you’re four.
Turn around, and you’re a young girl, going out of the door.”

Both Twilight and Pinkie were slack jawed as they watched Thomas, and heard as he sang along to the music box. While his voice wasn’t anything special, how he sang was something else. He never broke eye contact with the foal, who, after a short time, began to quiet down and suck on her hoof.

He had on his face a smile that instantly brightened up the room, and yet, his eyes were sorrowful, longing, like he was missing something from his life.

“Turn around, and you’re tiny.
Turn around, and you’re grown.
Turn around, and you’re a young wife, with babes of your own.”

By the time Thomas was done singing and the music box going silent, the foal was asleep in his arms. He gently lowered her into the crib, and Golden began rocking it gently to keep up with Thomas’ pace.

Golden nodded to the human, and he quietly walked away, brushing past the two mares still in the doorway.

Pinkie wiped away a tear, then turned around to follow Thomas.

Twilight walked into the room gently, and gave both mother and foal a look, then looked over to the music box.

Her horn came to life as she went to touch it, but stopped. Something in her mind warned her, almost natural instinct, that using her magic on the box would be a bad thing.

She held it between her hooves, and realized that it had an opening lid. Gently, she raised it up, and inside, taped onto the lid, was a photograph of another human with long blonde hair, holding what she assumed to be a human foal.

At the bottom of the photo, written on the thick white border, was Betty and Thomas, Summer ‘80.

Only Fools Rush In

It had only been an hour since Rarity had seen Thomas’ vehicle depart the small town of Oasis. From their shared room, Fluttershy was eagerly packing additional supplies in her saddlebag as Applejack checked off a list.

“I’m just so glad that Doctor Fauna was able to send out the supplies I requested so quickly.”

“I’m not so sure it was her swift actions.” Applejack winked.

Fluttershy blinked, tilting her head to the side.

Applejack shook her head. “Never mind, sugarcube. Alright, that’s it then? We’re ready to go?”

Fluttershy closed her saddlebag, and after struggling momentarily with them, Rainbow helped place them onto her back. Fluttershy gave a sheepish smile as Rainbow rolled her eyes with a kind smile. “Yes, I do believe so.”

“Alright. R.D., Rares, we’ll be back in a few hours then. Just gonna check up on… um…” Applejack’s eyes glossed over.

“Missus Fixit’s cats.”

“Right, that.”

“Take care, darlings,” Rarity said. Rainbow gave a lazy wave with her wing, then jumped up onto her bed.

“Welp, I guess it’s time for a nap.”

Rarity peered out the door, watching as Applejack and Fluttershy disappeared from view down the stairs. “I’m sorry, Rainbow dear, but you’re going to have to wait on that nap.”

“Huh?”

“I need your help with a little… something.”

“Then why didn’t you ask Applejack?”

“Dear, there were two reasons I asked Fluttershy to take Applejack with her. One was quite personal, the other was because I knew I couldn’t trust either of them with this special… mission.”

“Oh? So what? You wanted me? You know I don’t do the fru-fru stuff, Rares.”

Rarity huffed. “Please, would you honestly expect me to ask you to help with something against your character?”

Rainbow Dash sat up on her bed, brow raised as she looked at Rarity with a deadpan look.

Rarity blushed. “Okay, maybe I have in the past, but this time is different. I want your assistance in doing something… perhaps untoward.” Rarity whispered the last bit.

“Untoward?” Rainbow asked, tilting her head.

“You know... unladylike.”

“Unladylike?”

Rarity’s eyebrow twitched. Featherbrain indeed…

“Illegal, Rainbow!”

Rainbow had barely given Rarity any of her attention, but now the mare with two small words had her standing at the edge of her bed.

“Oooooh! Why didn’t you just say so? Illegal, huh? Awesome, now you’re talking my style. What’s up?”

“I’ll explain once we get there.” Rarity motioned for Rainbow to follow,, but as they were about to exit Sunny’s, a voice called to them.

“Where are you two off to?”

Rarity froze, while Rainbow turned around and with a huff and said, “None of your business, Trixie.”

Trixie looked to Rarity, the white mare not making eye contact. Trixie smiled, “Yeah, sure. Hey Bob, Trixie is going on her break.”

A black hoof appeared in the small serving window, ringing a bell twice.

Trixie quickly joined the two mares, ushering them out the door.

“Don’t play dumb, Trixie knows exactly what you’re planning,” Trixie half whispered to the both of them

“I don’t even know what we’re doing, how would you?” Rainbow protested.

“Let’s just say, Trixie knows when Thomas has somepony’s attention.”

Rainbow blinked in confusion, while Rarity’s face went stoic.

Trixie began walking towards Thomas’ shop, Rarity and Rainbow quick to follow. Going behind the building, Trixie moved a rock and found a key, unlocking the small door beside the larger shop doors, and entered.

“Wait, we’re breaking into Thomas’ place? That’s the illegal thing?” Rainbow asked.

Rainbow found herself being pushed inside by Rarity, who used her magic to close the door behind them.

“Yes, and how Trixie caught on so quickly, I’ve no idea.” Rarity pouted.

Trixie rubbed a hoof on her chest. “Because, like Trixie said, you’re not the first to be enamored by Thomas.”

“Urg, for the last time, I’m not-” Rainbow was shushed by a zipper over her mouth, Trixie’s horn glowing.

“Not you, featherbrain.”

Rainbow looked from Trixie, then to Rarity, who looked elsewhere than them. She unzipped her lips.

“Wait, you? Rarity, that’s crazy. Trixie’s full of it. You can’t seriously be considering–”

Rarity cut off her friend. “I’m not considering anything. He’s simply… captured my curiosity. I’m conflicted on the situation as a whole, and I wish to know more, and what Trixie hinted at earlier…”

Trixie smirked.

“...well, while he is out with Twilight and Pinkie, I thought this would be the best time.”

Rainbow gave Rarity a look, then glared at the magician. “If this is some sorta set up, Trixie, so help me I’ll beat the snot out of you.”

“Oh please, if we get caught Trixie too is in trouble. No, Trixie merely wishes to show you something that might help make up your mind over Thomas’ situation.”

“I’m pretty sure we’re both settled on what we’re gonna say,” Rainbow said.

“Maybe you, but not her.” Trixie pointed at Rarity.

“And just how do you know what I’m going to say?” Rarity asked.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Oh please, Thomas is one of those beings that, once he has your attention, is hard to resist. Trixie merely wishes to show you, who is undecided by his shows of false bravado and fake smiles, what the man is really capable of.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to show all six of us?” Rainbow asked.

Trixie shrugged. “While that is true, I’ve seen the look on Rarity’s face here before, on another mare who too was wrapped up in the wondering and musings of Mister Baker.”

Trixie began walking towards a door, tail flicking about.

“Oh? And just who was that?” Rainbow asked.

Trixie stopped at the door, tail poised mid-toss, hoof ready to push it open. She turned her head slightly, eyes focused on something off in the distance. “Me.”

Before either could say anything in question, Trixie opened the door and walked through. Rarity and Rainbow rushed ahead to catch up.

Trixie was already at the base of the stairs, and upon seeing the two friends finally following she continued through.

“So wait, aren’t you afraid of risking getting in trouble to show us… whatever this is?” Rainbow hovered above Trixie.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Technically, I have permission to come in here when I need to, although not for these circumstances.”

The three mares entered a narrow hallway, consisting of two doors. Rainbow landed in front of the performer, glaring. “How do you have permission to come in here? Don’t you two, like, hate each other?”

Both Trixie and Rarity stopped, looking at Rainbow. Then the two shared a glance.

“Trixie knows you know, but should we tell her?”

Rarity shook her head. “No, it’s best to let her figure things out on her own.”

“Seriously? I’m right here, stop treating me like a foal.”

“Then open your eyes and ears, Trash.” Trixie motioned at a single door at the end of the hall.

“What is this room?” Rarity asked, noticing the door wasn’t latched closed.

“This is his storage room, used to be his bedroom when the Fixit’s lived here still. He took over their room as his bedroom, so now just uses this for storage.”

Rarity pushed the door open with a hoof, the door not making a sound other than striking a glass bottle that rolled into her field of view. She raised a brow at the black label of whiskey, and Trixie shrugged. “He doesn’t clean up his messes too well.”

“Isn’t that the truth.” Trixie smirked.

Rarity entered the room; a mess was a understatement. Rainbow was quick to follow behind, Trixie staying out of the room.

“Woah, talk about a drinking problem.” Rainbow whistled.

The floor was littered with empty, mostly empty, or the occasional quarter-full bottle of alcohol. Mostly whiskeys and bourbons, a few rum and vodka bottles were noticed in the sea of glass.

“Trixie, what is with all of this?” Rarity asked, but noticed the mare was already gone.

Rainbow decided to hover over the floor, while Rarity used her magic to push a path inside further.

“Yeesh, this place just stinks of booze. I told you, didn’t I? He’s a total boozer. Alcoholic. Whatever you wanna call him.” Rainbow lifted a bottle off a box, barely a drip left inside. “It happens to the best of them, good, bad, or indifferent.”

“Says the mare voting ‘yay’. I agree, but look at the dust on some of these bottles. They’ve been here a long time.” Rarity lifted a particularly dust covered bottle to her face. “Also, this is my favorite kind of Brandy, but the older label. They haven’t used this one in about three years.”

“Okay, big deal, he still has a problem.”

“Yes, and as much as Trixie tries to tell ponies, she is ignored.”

At that moment, Trixie returned with a half empty bottle of a unlabeled amber liquid, and three glasses.

“Trixie knows where the big oaf keeps his good stuff, and for this, well, I figured you could each use something to help prepare.”

“Prepare for what?” Rainbow asked, taking her glass hesitantly.

With her magic, Trixie flipped on a switch, casting the room into a dim light. Rarity squinted her eyes, the sudden light unexpected and nearly blinding her from her dark vision. A few seconds later, her eyes mostly adjusted, Rarity realized then just how small this room was, and wondered how the tall human managed to call this a bedroom in previous times. What little space there was was mostly taken up by a few dozen boxes, all slightly crushed and haphazardly placed upon one another or on a small table with a mismatched leg.

The largest thing in the room was a worn, tattered recliner that was easily half covered in silver tape, the arm rests frayed and the finished wood handle on the side down to bare wood. Massive by pony standards, she could tell it was made specially for Thomas’ size and shape. Ahead of the seat sat a small black box with a glass screen upon the small table. Rainbow hovered in front of it, touching it.

“Asshole.”

“I beg your pardon?” Rarity asked.

Rainbow moved away from the front of the screen. “Someone scratched asshole into the glass, see?”

Rarity stepped closer, and sure enough, the glass had several shallow scratches that made up the offending word. More so, she saw the black case around it was cracked and busted on one corner.

“Most of his things have something along those lines scratched, carved, or written on them,” Trixie said, walking towards a small stack of boxes where another, much smaller black box sat. It had a flashing red light on it, and a silver antenna not fully extended.

Trixie approached the small black box, rubbing a hoof along the side. “I found this on accident years ago, looking… around.”

“Snooping,” Rainbow corrected.

“Tomato, Tomato.”

Rainbow looked at the recliner, temptation on her mind, but seeing Rarity sit on the floor near Trixie decided for her, joining her friend on the floor. Trixie pressed a button on the machine, and stepped away. Using her magic she poured a small amount of liquid into each of their glasses, and took a sip.

The machine made a clicking noise, then began to speak with a hint of a feminine tone it.

“You have (ZERO) new messages. You have (FIVE) saved messages. First saved message, from December twenty first, two thousand and eight, at eight forty seven am.”

A male voice began to speak, with a hurried tone. “Hey Tom, it’s Dick. Sorry it’s been a while since we’ve talked, but with this latest deployment I’ve not had any access to a satellite phone. Listen, I know you’re still mad at me for what I said, and I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be home in a month on leave, so we can talk it out, okay? Give Rachael my love.”

There was a loud beep, causing Rarity and Rainbow to jump a little. Trixie paid no mind as she sipped at her drink.

“Second saved message, from December twenty sixth, two thousand and eight, at one oh five pm.”

A different male spoke, sounding sorrowful. “Tom… I’m sorry, bro. I just found out last night from dad, and he says he told you first thing this morning. I was out on a job and my phone was off. Damn it, Tom, when are you going to suck it up and get a cell phone already? You know they got ones now you can access the internet on too!” There was a sigh. “Sorry, Tom, that’s not the thing to discuss right now. Just, I’m as broken up as you are about Dick, but there’s no point in dwelling on it.

“You’re married, with a kid on the way! I don’t think Dick would have wanted us to be all depressed over his death. He knew what he was getting into when joining, as did all of us. I was lucky to get out before the real bad shit started to happen. If I don’t hear from you soon, I’ll be calling Rach, but you know how I hate to bother her at work. If I don’t see you at the shop this evening, please, when you get this, call me, so we can go out for a drink or something with dad. I think Dick would have liked that.”

There was another audible beep. Rainbow looked over to Rarity, who was now taking a sip of her drink, a tear down her cheek. The sorrowful emotion in the speaker’s voice had Rarity feeling her heart strings pulled.

“Third saved message, from October fourteenth, two thousand and ten, at ten eleven am.”

The same male spoke, although angrily. “What the actual fuck, Tom? I know you can be an ass at times, but this takes the cake! Rachael just showed up at my job site in tears, saying you cheated on her! Boy, you’ve got some ass kicking coming your way once I find your sorry ass! For fucks sake, you shit-bag, Callie is two and a half!

“I know you’ve not been the same since Richard died, but to stoop this low? What the fuck were you thinking?” Someone began speaking in the background. “No, Rach, I want this on his machine. This mother fucker better know what’s coming to him. Michele is coming to get Rach, so you better be home when I’m done here, because we’re having a talk, brother to dip shit brother.”

“I’m not sure I can take any more of this…” Rarity said, her emotions conflicted now. Trixie filled her glass again. Rainbow still hadn’t touched hers. Another beep.

“Forth saved message, from February sixteenth, two thousand thirteen, at four forty pm.”

This time, an older male spoke, much slower and thought out. “Hey Rachel, it’s your father in law. I wanted to ask you about Tom, he seemed a bit off today at the mall site, nearly cut his own finger off. I haven’t seen him that sloppy in years. I know you two had been having a rough time years back, but I’m glad you stuck to it, even through my son’s stupidity. Is there something else going on? I heard you might be pregnant again. I know it was supposed to be a secret, but Michele was here visiting Harrison and spilled the beans a few months back.

“I haven’t seen Tom this lost since that conference we had in Ohio a couple years back, when you and Callie stayed with Harrison and Michele for those few weeks. Yeah, I know, I’m your father after all, I have a way of finding out these things. I doubt Tom knows I know, but well, I’m sure he’s going to hear this eventually. I’m not mad, son, just disappointed. Anyway, call me when you can. I’m going to be in the office late tonight, so call the two six nine number.”

Another beep. Rarity was now leaning against Rainbow for support. She still hadn’t touched her glass, only focused on the machine.

“Fifth saved message, from March twenty third, two thousand fourteen, at nine fifty eight am.”

Once again, a different voice spoke up, with an authoritative tone. “Tom, it’s Will. Look, I can only do so much for you, man. It’s hard being both your friend and lawyer, because both sides of me are conflicted. The point is, if you want to get to see Callie at all, you need to make the next court hearing. This is the last one. They’ve been more than generous giving us four postpones, but this is the last one. If you don’t show, then Rachael gets full custody.

“I get it, Tom, life is rough right now, but according to Harrison, the last time he talked to you you were lost in your work, staying until midnight at some job sites. It’s not healthy, Tom. I know the miscarriage took a lot from the both of you, but right now, she is trying to take the last of it. As your lawyer, you’re a jackass and get what’s coming. As your friend, which I’ll always be, you’re still a jackass, but you need to pull yourself out of this, put away the booze, and come into the courthouse tomorrow morning. I expect you there.”

The final beep.

“To repeat these messages, press one now. To delete any saved messages, press seven. To save any new messages, press nine.”

Trixie pressed a button with her hoof, causing a click, and the machine went silent.

Rarity and Rainbow Dash sat in silence, Rarity’s second glass drained.

Trixie finished her first glass, and took Rainbows and drained it herself. Taking the three empty glasses and bottle of alcohol, she began walking out the room. “We should be getting back. Trixie thinks she’s over her allowed break time.”

Rainbow stormed after Trixie. “Just what the hay was that all about? Who were those voices? How were they on that box?”

“Why would you show us that?” Rarity asked, still in her same spot, staring at the blinking light, fixated.

Trixie stopped in the hallway, near the other door which was open. “Those were the voices of the past, as Tom calls them. His reminders, that no matter what he says, what he does, he’ll always be what he is.”

Rainbow followed Trixie into the other room, the only furnishings being a large bed (with no scratches, she noticed) a couple of tables, and a desk with chair. Against one wall sat a rather tall brown case, the center of it with an art piece showing two deer.

“He play an instrument?”

“The guitar.”

Rainbow looked at the case again. “It’s kinda narrow to hold a guitar.”

Trixie returned the bottle and glasses onto the desk, then turned to follow Rainbow’s gaze. “That’s not–”

“Oh, Trixie, Bob’s looking for you,” came Rarity’s voice from the hall.

“Trixie is sure he is.”

Just then, Bob walked into view in the hallway, a scowl on his face.

Thomas had wrapped up the remaining gutter work quickly on his own, allowing Twilight and Pinkie some time alone together with Golden.

“Why does he leave the music box here?” Twilight asked.

Golden set down her glass. “Because it reminds him of his mother, Betty, which his father called Betts. Gilded and I named our daughter after her. He liked to tell us stories, what ones he could remember of his mother, and we felt it was the right thing to do. She passed away when he was young.

“When we announced her name to everypony, he felt it appropriate that it be given to her.”

Twilight scratched her head. “That still doesn’t explain the magic on these things. Why? What for?”

“The magic doesn’t hurt him, from what we’ve all gathered. However, its effects on ponies are instant as I’m sure you realized when you went to reach your magic out. They don’t seem to bother pegasi or us earth ponies nearly as bad, but when I pick that box up, I feel sad, a longing feeling for something I lost dearly.”

“So why would he cast such emotion binding spells on his things like that? And not warn anypony, like that Circuit pony in the dam?”

“He didn’t cast them. No one knows what it’s all about, but some of his stuff just… is that way.”

“That makes no sense. Somepony had to cast magic on them. Things can’t just take on magic like that.”

“Maybe not things of our world, but his? He’s told me in the past his world has no magic like our own. Something about here and there being so similar, but so different too.”

Twilight began to take a drink, but stopped, eyes going wide. “Wait… his world?”

Pinkie, who’d been silent while the two had talked, perked her ears towards the front door.

“Yes, his world. What, you think Thomas is from anywhere on Equis?” Golden smiled.

“He’s.. HE’S AN ALIEN!” Twilight shot out of her seat, her wings throwing Pinkie off the small couch.

Just then Thomas stepped inside. “Boo, mother fuckers.”

“You mean this whole time, the town of Oasis, you, the mayor, sheriff, everypony’s been hiding an actual alien!?”

“I wouldn’t say hide, I’ve been to Manehatten a couple times,” Thomas walked into the kitchen.

“Please keep your voices down, or else you’ll wake Betts,” Golden said, glaring at Twilight.

“Oh, I’m sorry! It’s just… how did I not see this before?”

Thomas walked into the living room with an open bottle of beer. “Maybe because you ponies keep trying to focus on my personality and problems, instead of seeing me for what I am.”

“An alien?” Pinkie asked.

“An alien jackass.” Thomas took a swig of his beer.

“I don’t understand this. It makes no sense,” Twilight rubbed the sides of her head with both hooves.

“Yeah, try me for instance. At the time, I found myself around small ponies that could speak and we could understand each other, not to mention our writing is almost similar, save for yours is a bit more blocky and clumped together. I blame hooves and mouth writing for that, but still, I could at least make out most of the words.”

“This makes no sense…” Twilight’s mane was beginning to unravel.

Silence took over, Pinkie petting Twilight’s mane down flat. Golden began to yawn, fighting to hide her mouth with a hoof.

“Up late again, Goldie?” Thomas asked.

The mare simply nodded her head.

Thomas scratched his chin. “Alright. I was gonna start on the walls now, since the roof is done, but we can do that another day.”

Golden looked towards the kitchen. “I need to go into town for some errands tomorrow, so I’ll be out at least four hours.”

“That should be enough time to get the bedroom and kitchen done,” Thomas said.

“Oh oh! Applejack and I are great at painting walls! We can help!” Pinkie bounced on the couch.

“Sure, why not?” Thomas rolled his shoulders, tossing the now empty beer bottle into a waste bin. “Okay Goldie, I’ll be here around, what, nine?”

Golden yawned again. “Best make it ten. I might sleep in a little if given the chance.”

Thomas’ face shifted into a small frown. “You know, I said while Gilded was away you two could-”

Golden cut him off with a hip hug. “It’s fine, Thomas. Thank you.”

Thomas let out a sigh, patting the mare on her head. “Anytime.”

Twilight and Pinkie said their goodbyes as well, and the three returned to Thomas’ van. He opened the passenger door for them to hop in, which they did effortlessly, and closed it gently, only adding a little force an inch from closing.

As he stepped into his side, Thomas did the same thing with his door, however it didn’t latch at first. He repeated the process two more times before it finally stuck. The human shook his head, and started up the van with a rumble.

Returning to Sunny’s went slower than leaving, mostly because Thomas wasn’t in any sort of hurry.

“I gotta work more when we get there, so might as well take our time and enjoy the scenery.”

“What scenery?” Pinkie asked. “It’s just desert and small metal signs.”

“And you took at least ten breaks at Golden’s house.” Twilight added.

“Besides, doesn’t this thing go faster? How fast can it go?” Pinkie traded places with Twilight, trying to play with the radio.

“Hey hey hey! Don’t touch things if you don’t know what they do!” Thomas smacked Pinkie’s hoof.

“How else do you learn things?”

Thomas opened his mouth to argue, but shut it with a click of his teeth. Pinkie grinned, polishing her hoof against her chest.

“I was starting to really like you, but you’re starting to get onto my shit list.” Thomas drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Oh relax, I’m everyone’s favorite pony. You’ll come around.” Pinkie nudged Twilight.

Twilight, for the most part, ignored the two, looking out the window at the desolate scenery going by.

All was silent for a couple of minutes, then Twilight began to speak.

“I just don’t get it.”

Both pink pony and human looked to Twilight. “Get what?” Thomas asked.

“How ponies could make a town in the middle of the desert, void of any contact for, at times, years, and just function.”

Thomas shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, in our history, people were continuously killing themselves in order to put their staple on the land, moving farther and farther west. Fighting harsh winters and desolate deserts. Thousands died, few succeeded.”

“That’s not so different from our past.”

“Then why is Oasis so weird?”

“Because it’s modern Equestria! The days of going out and finding new lands is gone! We’ve done all we could! Some lands just don’t cooperate with Equestrian magic, the badlands being one of those places!”

“And yet, here we are.”

“And yet, here you are…”

The cab in the van was silent for several long seconds.

“I think we should discuss more happy things! Like the party tonight!”

Both Thomas and Twilight rolled their eyes.

“Wasn’t it supposed to be a surprise party?” Thomas asked.

Pinkie shrugged. “Eh, sometimes it’s more fun to surprise the surprisee with a surprise party that’s not such a surprise but what’s gonna happen at the surprise party will be the surprise.”

Thomas scratched his head. “I uh, sure?”

“Great! OOooh, what’s that?” Pinkie reached up over Thomas’ head, pulling down the vizor.

“Hey, don’t touch things!” Thomas swatted Pinkie’s hoof away.

“What are those disks?”

At Pinkie’s question, Twilight returned her attention to the human.

“They’re CD’s. They play music, like records, only using laser beams. However, most of them don’t work anymore from being used so much. I only got two left.”

“And the one was that Jimmy guy?”

“Jim Croce,” both Twilight and Thomas said in unison.

“Yes.” Thomas flipped the vizor back up.

“What’s the other one?”

Thomas frowned. “Another spectrum of the 70’s that my father loved, and me and my brothers hated.”

“You mean my brothers and-” Twilight began.

Thomas slammed the brakes, causing the van to skid and the mares to almost slide off the vinyl seat. “Okay, that’s enough. I get it, you’re smart. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?” He placed the van into park, turning his body to face the two ponies. “Quit treating me like I’m stupid for the wrong reasons.

“I’m fucked up. I’m in a fucked situation. I barely graduated high school and didn’t even try for college once I lost my scholarship. I’m an alien, but I work here, I live here, and I pay my bills and I pay Equestrian taxes. If you’re looking for some grand mystery to solve around me, there’s only one.”

Twilight gulped. “And what’s that?”

Thomas returned facing forward, dropping the shift lever down and began moving forward. “How can I finally move on?”

Dusk was rolling in when Thomas placed the van into park outside his shop. The vehicle’s headlights shined at the large garage door, and Twilight took notice that the right beam was much dimmer than the left, as well as aiming high.

Thomas stepped out of his van, holding his door open as he addressed the two mares. “Everything I need for the window is back there. I’m just gonna check on some of the furniture, and if it’s dry load it up and take it to Sunny’s. You two can wait here, or come help.”

With that, he closed his drivers door and walked to the large shop door, opening it and allowing his headlights to shine inside. Pinkie and Twilight shared a glance, and with a shrug exited the vehicle.

Most of the chairs and stools were all good to go, according to Thomas, so they stuffed as many as they could into the back of his van, and after a quick jaunt unloaded them onto Sunny’s balcony.

Carrying some furniture inside, Twilight was surprised to see Rarity behind the counter serving a pony his meal, Rainbow’s vibrant mane visible through the service window, and Trixie sitting at a table polishing her hooves.

“What did they do?” Thomas asked with an amused smile.

Trixie barely paid him a glance. “Broke into your shop and went snooping.”

“Oh.” Thomas looked at Rarity, who blushed at his gaze, then placed the two chairs he was carrying at Trixie’s table, then took a seat. “So did you give them the guided tour, or jump right into the action?”

Trixie shrugged. “Trixie figured there was no point in beating around the bush with those two, so she tagged along. Trixie would have hated if those two had done something unsupervised to hinder my wagon’s progress.”

“For a moment there, I thought you cared.” Thomas shook his head, letting out a sigh. “I suppose you did right, them all being heros or something. Were you this bad when we met?”

Trixie let out a laugh. “Not in the slightest.”

With a sly grin, Thomas reclined back in the chair, kicking it onto its back legs. “Not how I remember it, oh so long ago. I vaguely remember at one point you started to wear perfume, and were-”

Trixie slapped Thomas in the face with her apron. “Don’t. You. Dare.”

“I’m confused, what were we just seeing?” Rainbow asked beside Rarity.

Rarity wrapped a foreleg around her friend. “Rainbow, dear, your ignorance sometimes is a magical thing.”

“Okay?” The double doors opened, with Twilight and Pinkie Pie walking in. “Oh hey, Twilight, Pinks. How’d it go?” Rainbow shrugged off Rarity, throwing her apron onto the counter. She jumped with a flap of her wings, landing on the other side with a jump.

“Well, about as well as the rest of your experiences went,” Twilight said with a huff, placing down the last of the chairs.

“Yippie! And, top it all off, booze is back on the menu!” Pinkie cart wheeled behind the counter, using a stool as a ramp.

She fell down with a crash, then reappeared wearing a mustache and barbershop quartet getup.

She began violently shaking a mixer, ice rattling inside.

“Oh.” Both Rarity and Rainbow expressed with varying reactions.

Rainbow walked over to Thomas. “So, are you gonna become an ass again? Or you gonna stay cool?”

“Rainbow!” Rarity shouted.

“What? I’m asking a serious question.” She turned back to the human. “Well?”

Thomas looked to the four mares, then to Trixie, and finally rested back onto Rainbow.

“Yeah, I can work on that.”

“That’s probably as good as you’re gonna get, Trash,” Trixie said.

Rainbow shrugged. “Okay, I can live with that.”

Thomas returned his chair back to all fours, then turned to face Rainbow with a light slap of his hand on her face.

“Damn good, Joe.”

He stood, returning to his project of a window, as Rainbow touched her cheek, a faint blush emitting heat.

Apparently, Thomas had the foresight in planning to not only rebuild one window, but two, as apparently by his ability to jump right into the project once again, and finish it with quicker speed than before.

Whether it was because he hadn’t needed to rebuild the frame and some outer-walls, due to previous rot, or just that he’d gathered the additional supplies in case he’d messed up and needed a re-do, well, it was anypony’s guess.

Pinkie Pie couldn’t care less, as she was setting up Sunny’s for, by Oasis’ standards, the craziest party ever.

Rowdy, while an apt word to describe a Pinkie Party, was nothing compared to an all night binger in the small town, especially when their resident human had some tricks up his sleeves.

At some point, Applejack and Fluttershy had returned. The farm mare looked as though she’d been through some emotional turmoil, which was fixed by all of her friends forming a group hug. Thomas and Trixie both gagged at the fluffiness.

After finishing the window (for good he hoped), he’d taken his usual bar seat, sipping at a beer and watching the six mares moving furniture around, setting up a impromptu stage near the piano.

“I feel like I’m going to one of my little cousin’s birthday parties,” Thomas said, playing with the pink banners hanging along the bar top.

Bob shrugged, sporting, of all things, a party hat which was too colorful for his black chitin. Thomas had tossed his off the moment after he realized it had been put on.

How Pinkie had gotten the string around the front of his face and he hadn’t noticed was beyond him.

Before long, townsponies began showing up, getting drinks and starting up talk about this and that. The six new mares were the topic of most conversations, although Thomas could feel the occasional glance his way.

I haven’t felt like this in years… damn ponies. Thomas took the last swig of his beer, killing the bottle with a loud clunk on the bar.

“Well, this is shaping up to be quite the party.” Sunny took the empty beer, and passed him a glass of water, a lemon slice stuck to the side.

Thomas removed the lemon, squeezing as much into the glass as his fingers would allow, then dropped it and sunk it with his straw, tossing the plastic to the side and drank it normally.

“Hydrate up, Tom. You’re gonna need it.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

“Looks like the party’s about to start.” Sunny nodded behind him, so the human turned to look.

At the made up stage, Windslor was taking his place at the piano, flexing his wings and cracking his hooves.

Next up was the brown unicorn, known simply as Duster, holding in his magic a harmonica while he had a pair of spoons in his hooves. Several other small instruments sat in cases around his stool. Lastly, the gruffest of the three, the black earth pony called Rocky, pulled out a trumpet from a felt case.

Behind the group, Thomas noticed a brightly colored drum set, unfamiliar to him.

“Who’s drums?” Thomas asked.

“Those are mine!” Pinkie said, placing another party hat on Thomas’ head.

He was quick to remove it, placing it on Pinkie’s head next to her original.

“That’s… not entirely surprising for you. Any good?”

“Well, I’m no Mickey Rooney, but I’m above average.”

Thomas nearly choked on his water.

“So, how about that drink you owe me~?” Pinkie sang.

“Right. Sunny, a Rootbeer Float for the pretty pink pony.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet.”

“Yeah, I realized what I said only after it came out of my mouth. It’s like you’re all a tumor on my brain making me want to strip naked and frolic through a field of clover.”

Sunny and Pinkie Pie stared at the human. “You do have some issues,” Pinkie said, and Sunny nodded in agreement.

Before more could be said, Pinkie knocked back the tall glass of rootbeer and vanilla vodka, going so far as to take several ice cubes and crunch them in her mouth, chewing happily.

Thomas could feel the hairs on his neck stand.

Pinkie placed the glass down, a mischievous grin on her face. “So, a little filly told me you play guitar~”

Caught off guard, Thomas stuttered, “U-Uh, yeah, but mine was busted years ago.”

Pinkie bounced away, ignoring Thomas. “Okay everypony, it’s time to start this party! You know where the drinks are, food will be out shortly, but first we need to bring out the special guest!”

Pinkie jumped up on the stage. “Thomas Baker! Get your tight, firm flanks up here!”

There was a roar of laughter from the crowd, mixed with clopping of hooves on the floor.

Thomas responded from the bar by raising the middle digit on his right hand.

“Alrighty-o, ponies, maybe later. For now let's start this party! Hit it, you Old Koots!”

The band ponies immediately began to play, stomping their hooves with a beat, which many ponies around the room quickly matched.

Rocky began singing.

“I used to think that making love was foalish as could be,
But when I hit the age of twelve a little filly told me.
‘Just kiss me once and if you don’t like it then I’ll go away,’
When I came up for air well this is all I could say.

It may be silly, but ain’t it fun.”

“Their perfume really knocks me out, it sets my head a reelin’. And when they blink those eyes at me, I go right through the ceilin’.
Oh, they make my blood pressure high, but what a lovely way to die, because I love girls!”

The music continued; ponies danced, drank, and when food was brought out by Bob and Trixie, the band took a break.

Pinkie joined Thomas at the bar, a stallion with a pumpkin cutie mark was patting him on the back.

“Thanks again, Tom.”

Thomas nodded his head, the pony leaving, only to be replaced by Pinkie.

“So, it’s about time.”

Thomas’ attention lingered on the stallion a few moments longer, then looked around. “Looks like things are only just warming up. Rocky only did half a dozen songs.”

Pinkie shook her head.

Before Thomas could ask, he was grabbed by Sunny and Bob and dragged to the stage. He wasn’t dragged in the sense of force, but protest, walking behind while the pony and changeling held his hands in their mouths.

“Okay, okay, I’m here. What?” Thomas stood in front of all the ponies.

“Yay! Thanks you two!” Pinkie appeared once again behind her drum set, a glass of RBF held by her mane. “Now, Tom, would you like to say anything to the ponies here?”

“Yes, I hate you all.”

There was laughter, although the table holding five mares held varying degrees of amusement.

“Well, I think you’re gonna change your mind when you see the gift they got for you.”

Thomas looked to Pinkie. “The what?”

Sunny, along with the sheriff and mayor, carried on their backs a large box.

Thomas looked on in silence as they set the box down at his feet, backing up and giving him smiles.

“What you waitin’ for, Tom? Open it!” Sunny said.

“Yes, Thomas! Don’t keep everypony waiting.” Mayor Billfold leaned against his wife.

Thomas knelt down, and lifting the lid couldn’t believe what he saw.

Picking up the guitar, it was overly sized for a pony, but just right for a human. It was sparkly clean, freshly waxed, and looked like it had been patched together with other guitars, although most of it was very recognizable. Somepony had had the forethought to sand away the vulgar chicken scratch that had once adorned it.

“I… don’t even.” Thomas looked out at the townsponies.

“Matchbox sent it, before… you know.” Sunny said.

“Senior?”

Several ponies nodded their heads. Inside the box there was a small note, which Thomas picked up, and read over to himself.

“What’s it say?”

Thomas looked to the ponies ahead of him. “You didn’t read it?”

They all shook their heads.

Sheriff Copper Top shrugged. “It was for you, Old Tom. It’s your place to share.”

Thomas licked his lips, and before he could ask Rocky hoofed him a fresh beer. With a chuckle, Thomas gave his thanks and took a sip.

“Thomas,” Thomas began. “He could never call me Tom. ‘Thomas, for all the times I had to kick your butt and my son’s, you were one Hell of a pony for not being one. Sorry this got destroyed, but I hope you can forgive all of us for what happened all those years ago.’”

Thomas looked from Sheriff Copper Top, to the Mayor and his wife drying tears from their faces. Sunny, absent of her husband, nodded in approval, and lastly Swift Delivery seemed to be trying to ignore the fact he was standing next to Fluttershy’s seat, while giving Thomas his full attention.

Laying the guitar to his side, he removed the little pick taped to the note.

“‘I remember you gave this to me for good luck, when Junior and myself left. Well, all it’s done is brought me grief and trouble, so take it back and use it proper.”’ Several ponies, Thomas included, laughed at that.

“‘Mister Fixit would have been proud to see what you’ve done with his shop, and I’m sorry he didn’t get to hear you play one last time for him. I heard you, along with him and his wife, and while you lack in natural vocal range, you made up for with emotion. Never stop, and keep pushing forward.

“‘Your friend, and I stress at the hardship in never calling you such in person, Matchbox Senior.”’ Thomas let the note fall back into the box.

The silence in the tavern was deafening. He began to play with the pick in his fingers, running over the familiar wear marks on it.

“Well, damn, I don’t know what to say,” Thomas finally spoke.

“We gathered as many pieces as we could, then sent them to Matchbox. So, you know, the least you could say is thanks.” Sheriff Copper Top said with a grin.

Thomas began running his fingers across the strings.

“Thank you, all of you.”

Suddenly, Bob appeared with Missus Fixit, using his side to help guide her up towards the stage.

“He would be, you know,” she said.

Thomas knelt down to the mare, giving her a hug, which she returned in kind.

“I sure hope so.”

“Hey Tom, how about a song?” A pony shouted.

“Yeah!” “Come on, Tom!” “Let's hear some human music for once!”

A stool was produced for him to sit on, and so Thomas took a seat. “Yeah, okay okay, let me just tune this real quick.” He began adjusting the knobs, testing strings.

“What’cha got planned for us, Tom?” Sunny asked, taking a break from the bar, although bringing Thomas another beer.

“Well… gosh, I haven’t played in years, I may be rusty.”

He looked over to Bob, Sunny quickly joining her husband, both pony and changeling pressing their sides against Missus Fixit for comfort.

“What was the one you sang to me before, Thomas? The one about teaching your children well?” the blind mare asked.

Thomas began strumming the guitar. “Their fathers Hell, did slowly go by. Yeah, that sounds about right. Okay, um…” he began playing in earnest.

Everypony was entrailed in his playing, and then he began singing.

“You, who are on the road.
Must have a code, that you can live by.”

An hour and a dozen songs later, Thomas decided he’d had enough, his throat was sore, dry, and his mind was too sober for his liking at this kind of party.

At the Friendship Table (™) Pinkie rejoined her friends, also taking a break along with the other band players.

“Whew, that was a lot of fun!”

“Some of those songs were...” Rarity began.

“Deep,” Rainbow said, taking a moment to break away from her own singing.

Rarity gave Rainbow a look. “I was going to say emotional, but that’s fair.”

“Tonight we’re settin’ the woods on fire!” Pinkie sang, tapping her hooves on the table.

“I dunno, that Lying Eyes song really had me. How a mare could do that to herself…” Applejack took a sip of her bourbon.

“Dun dun, I was a ramblin’ mare, na na na.” Rainbow danced around in her seat.

“It was man, not mare.” Twilight said, sipping at her water.

Rainbow raised a brow. “But I’m a mare.”

“Could’a fooled me,” Applejack said with a snicker.

Ignoring her friends remark, Twilight continued. “I’m glad he was giving us song titles and the performers he knew them by.” Twilight checked a list she had been compiling of the songs, titles, performers, and lyrics best she could. “Although, I admit Country Roads was a very soothing song, and left me thinking of Golden Oaks.” At Pinkie’s wayward glance, she added, “Good thoughts.”

“I really enjoyed that one about hearing it in a love song. I didn’t realize Thomas could sing so well.” Fluttershy said, then looked at Rarity. “What about you? Was there one that touched you?”

Rarity broke her attention from the ponies talking and drinking with Thomas. “They’ve all left a impact on me, I’m afraid.”

“Wow, Trixie knew you were coming down with the sickness, but she hadn’t realized this badly.” Trixie took a seat at the table, sipping a blue tropical drink.

Rarity scoffed. “I’m so sorry to please you so, but I cannot help myself. There is something about him that is just…”

“Wait, back up a second, what are we talking about?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, just the fact that Rares here wants to jump ‘Old Tom’s’ bones,” Applejack’s face twisted to disgust. “For what only Faust knows reason.”

“Huh, I didn’t take you for going after older stallions. Or men, whatever.” Rainbow said with a grin.

“I thought Rainbow had feelings for Thomas?”

Everypony, Rainbow included, turned to Twilight. “Seriously, what’s wrong with you girls?” Rainbow asked.

“I mean, I knew we were doing it in jest, but I thought…” Twilight seemed to blank out, her magic bringing out another scroll. “Oh, this complicates things so much.” Twilight began frantically scribbling more onto the parchment with a quill.

Suddenly, Thomas made himself known by dropping onto the last open seat at the table. “Hey you, you whatever you all are.”

“Well, so much for him not getting smashed,” Rainbow rolled her eyes.

“Hey, I’ve actually been a very good boy! I’ve held back quite a bit. No, this is more of a… contact high.”

“Contact high?” Applejack asked.

“Yeah! This is the first party I’ve actually had for, well, me! Since I’ve been here. At first I hated it, but man, it’s so great to see everypony so happy and talking about things that once were very deep emotional scars on my very soul, then spun around and joked about.”

Every pony at the table blinked.

“Riiiight. Okay, when do we plan to wrap this up?” Rarity asked.

“Oh oh, not before I do one more song!” Thomas stood, and marched over to the stage.

“Huh.”

“What is it, Trixie?” Rarity asked.

“I haven’t seen him like this in, well, a long time.”

“Like what?”

Trixie watched as the human instructed the other band ponies, excluding Pinkie. “Happy.”

Rarity noticed the pained tone in Trixie’s voice, but suddenly the guitar started up as well as piano.

“My Maria.
Don’t you know why I came a long, long way.”

It wasn’t difficult for everypony to notice how Thomas continuously looked over to the table holding the Elements of Harmony, but only those six, plus Trixie, could see who he was really staring at.

Seated side by side, Trixie and Rarity shared a glance, sharing the same thought about one another.

Rarity opened her mouth to speak, but Trixie cut her off with a raised hoof. “Trixie has already made this mistake more times than she cares to admit. She is staying out of this one, it’s all on you Hagity.”

With that, Trixie stepped away from the table, and back to behind the bar to serve ponies. Everypony at the table shared a glance, then with a roar of laughter from the townsponies they turned back to Thomas, who now had both the sheriff and a very tipsy Swift up singing along.

Attempting to, anyway, since they didn’t know the lyrics like Thomas did.

As eight o’clock became nine, then nine to ten, ponies began to wander home for the night. There were still a few stragglers, and when the singing died down Thomas challenged the main six to a game of poker, but only Rarity and Pinkie Pie seemed eager to play. The band ponies, happily, stepped in to fill in the gaps.

As it stood, Windslor, Duster, and Rocky had given up and thrown in the towel to clean their instruments before packing them away. Thomas was nursing a beer, the only thing he’d actually won in the game. Rarity had on Thomas’ shirt with the sleeves rolled up so it wouldn’t drag. And lastly, Pinkie had won multiple drinks, along with a IOU for a custom vanity. By her expression, she was about to also include the chair for it.

Thomas stared at the cards in his hand, then to Rarity. The fashionista had folded and ordered another old fashioned, content with watching the outcome of the last hand. Looking at the pink mare, Thomas’ eye twitched as she was in the process of using one of her cards as a pegasus, flying around herself. He saw a glimpse of the card, Deuce of diamonds.

“Had I known you were this much of a monster at poker, I’d have suggested Go Fish.” Thomas slapped his cards down. “I fold, before you take what’s left of my dignity.”

“Yay!” Pinkie tossed her cards down as well. He didn’t even bother looking at them, the mare having previously doubled down on a lousy hand one time, then the next folding with a straight.

“If I’d had your poker face growing up, I’d be a lot richer and not had the shit beat out of me so much,” Thomas said, draining the last of his beer.

“Yes, well Pinkie does play what one might call a ‘mean game’. You should see her in Twister,” Rarity said.

“I’ll pass,” Thomas replied. With a snap of his fingers, Trixie brought out another Rootbeer Float for the mare, on the carpenter’s tab.

“Welp, I think that does it for me, ladies.” Thomas stood, but immediately fell down backwards.

Everypony rushed to him, but the human was already in a fit of giggles. “Oh man, I can’t remember the last time I felt this good. Well, actually I can. There was a lot of screaming my name and-”

Trixie kicked Thomas in the side, causing the human to groan.

“Trixie thinks somepony should take him home.”

Everypony looked at each other, none of them saying anything.

“Really? No one? Fine, if Trixie must.”

The mare began to help Thomas up, struggling to do so.

“I suppose I will help.” Rarity got on Thomas’ other side, allowing the human to use both ponies as rails to push himself up.

“Thanks, ladies. Pinkie, thanks again for this party. You’re alright, even with all the things Rainbow said about you.”

“Hey!” Rainbow protested.

Thomas laughed. “I’m just fuckin’ with ya, Tart. Okay ladies, homeward bound.” Thomas began walking, but stumbled. Rarity was there in an instant to help stabilize the human. “Eventually!”

Pinkie, along with her remaining friends, began the process of cleaning up. Most everypony had been good and not made a mess, but the floors needed to be swept, tables bussed, and the stage taken down for the breakfast crowd in the morning.

The band ponies helped with the stage, and upon Pinkie’s request, Sunny and Bob sat down to rest their hooves, having been working most of the time along with Trixie.

At some point, Sunny had returned the radio to the bar top, and had it playing with low volume. A particular song began to play, however, causing Bob to step down from his stool and hold his hoof out to his wife.

“Oh, our song, Bobby.” Sunny raised the volume a couple notches, then stepped down, taking his hoof.

The two quickly got to their rear legs, using each other for balance as they came in close and began rocking back and forth, a slow dance.

One by one, Twilight, Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and the band ponies, stopped what they were doing to focus on the dancing couple, whose tails had begun to wrap around one another.

At the song’s ending, the two lovers lingered on their rear hooves, looking into each other’s eyes, their expressions those of serene happiness.

The six visitors who had looked on with pleased approval slowly turned to look at Thomas, perhaps suspecting a snide jab at the two sweethearts so openly showing such deep emotions, but his expression matched the ones they themselves had.

Bob and Sunny stepped down on all fours, and Bob gently reached forward to rest his head on Sunny’s head below her ear. Sunny’s let out a content sigh, and nodded slightly, before pecking Bob on his cheek.

“That’s all from us this evening,” Sunny said, in such a way as to not seeming to want attention drawn to itself, before they started slipping out of the room. “Goodnight.”

“‘Night,” Thomas said, smiling with a mix of happiness and melancholy at the retreating couple.

Trixie took Thomas’ other side, and with Rarity’s assist the two mares helped guide him out into the crisp, cool night.

Everypony returned to their duties, and as Fluttershy went to sweep under a table, she hit something. Looking under it, she found a snoozing Swift Delivery, hugging some long strands of pink hair. With a blush of her cheeks, she at least knew where she’d lost her tail extension.

As Trixie, Rarity, and Thomas exited Sunny’s, the two mares couldn’t help but look up to admire the moon, full as ever, casting the town into a faint light.

“My, such a beautiful night,” Rarity commented.

“Trixie agrees; it always reminds her of when she’s traveling town to town, camping where she can find a good clearing.”

“With your wagon?”

Trixie nodded. “When it’s actually in one piece, anyway.”

The two were silent, watching Thomas as he attempted several times to walk a straight line, only for him to stumble off course, mumbling to himself.

“Trixie, I’d like to be frank with you.”

Trixie gave a low laugh.

“I’m serious, I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but I have to ask, are you and Thomas together?”

Her answer was not immediate, but after a few steps she shook her head. “No, we are not.”

“Are you positive? I don’t like to step on other mare’s tails, and I’ve seen some signs that-”

“Do you plan to sleep with him?”

Rarity paused a moment. “I can’t say it’s at the top of my mind, but…” she began rubbing Thomas’ shirt against herself, breathing in the smells of sawdust, lacquer thinner, and sweat. Of a worker, dedicated to the fine arts of wood work, much like herself with fabric.

“Ha-er, Rarity, do you know why Thomas and I argue so much?”

Noticing Thomas was sitting on the ground, both mares having missed when he fell, Rarity took a seat and shook her head.

Trixie stood ahead of her, one ear pinned at Thomas’ direction while the other was on Rarity.

“He’s angry at himself, for his life choices, even those before he came to Oasis. I… I know how he feels, what I’ve done to Ponyville, and other towns in my performing career.

“It’s hard to be better than you are, because you know every slip up you’re still that pony who is frowned upon by everypony else.”

“Thomas seems to not have that problem,” Rarity commented.

“Oh he did. I’ve only been coming here for a little over six years, and while I wasn’t here for his real rough spots… he still has a lot of self hatred and anger. You heard those recordings.”

“I can’t help but see him as one of my mystery novels.” Rarity pawed at the ground. “I remember my first colt friend, he was a brute, rude, and only gave me compliments when I demanded them.”

“But he was good in bed.”

“Amazing, but it didn’t last long. However, I still remember, after we’d be snuggled together in bed, he’d smile. So rare he’d do it, but with me, with a mare there to give him comfort both emotionally and physically…”

“Thomas is his own person. What you two do from here on out is none of my concern, but Trixie must warn you, she will not be here forever to pick up the pieces.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “I do not think there is anything serious there between us. I do see how he looks at you, you know.”

Trixie raised a brow.

“But I’ve seen eyes like his in stallions in the past. They’re not looking for a love lust, night of passion, or even a one night stand which leaves their bed cold at night. He’s lonely, and is seeking comfort and compassion, but not willing to ask for it.”

Trixie let out a huff. “Well, he’s sure got some way of throwing it back in Tr-a mare’s face.”

Rarity smiled. “He’s a stallion, Trixie, they’re as subtle as a wet fish.”

Both mares watched Thomas, for the fourth time, attempt to stand.

“So what is it you’re aiming to do?” Trixie asked.

Rarity stood, walking over to Trixie and leaned against the mare.

“I’m Generosity, darling. I give of myself to those who are in need. Whether he needs a companion for the night to remind him of his, uh, I suppose the word is humanity? Or he just needs an emotional outlet, a mare or woman, to hear his troubles.”

“Trixie has been there multiple times.”

“And yet you two still fuss and fight, and I’m to guess builds up to a night of angry sex that leaves you both wanting more, but unwilling to admit it to one another.”

Trixie’s cheeks went hot with a red tint. Rarity smiled, finally removing herself from Trixie’s side and walking to help Thomas up.

With a wave of her tail, Rarity turned her head to the side to look at Trixie, the collar of Thomas’ shirt rubbing against her neck. “You know, we could always share.”

Trixie’s cheeks puffed out, darkening another shade of red, and Rarity let out a laugh. Reluctantly, Trixie followed the white mare to help the inebriated human to his feet. The night was still young, and as two mares dragged a human back to his house, one’s mind was full of mysterious and tantalizing thoughts, the other her own feelings, and what they meant.

Author's Note

I've had this silly joke for a while I wanted to use in the story, where Thomas shows Twilight some "human magic", the trick of pulling off your thumb or the "I've got your nose!" I ended up not using it, but Sunny loved the idea and wrote a thing for it, so here you go. Also, welcome aboard Snakeskin Ducktape to the pre-reading/editing list. He's a totes dudebro.

Thomas was lounging on his deck knocking back a cold one with a hearty swig. He was enjoying the view of the town and the fact that he was winding down from the party high. He shouldn’t be happy, but he was in this moment, and any doubts that he wasn’t was washed away by the universal cure for overthinking things.

The sunrise was beautiful.

The cure for hangovers was more fluids, Thomas decided. And he couldn’t ruin nature with a splitting headache, don’t be absurd.

Though, all good things do come to an end.

A very purple end.

“Hello there!”

“No.” Thomas turned away from the nuisance. “Drinking time.”

A cross figure loomed over him, in his laid back position.

“Didn’t you have enough to drink last night?”

“If I can still hear you, not enough,” he mumbled. Then louder and more gruffly, “What do you want?”

The embodiment of excitement coursed through her face. “Magic! Show me your magic. I’ve been analysing your things and I couldn’t work out how the charge would stick to them and I was hoping you could—”

“Stop.”

“What?”

“I’ll show you.”

“Oh come on, Thomas, won’t you—wait, you’re going to show me?” She paused. “I thought you’d be more…”

“More what?”

Twilight coughed. “Nothing!” She leaned forward. “Can you show me, please?”

Thomas smiled in a way that could only be described as ‘wickedly’. Twilight had met her fair share of villains, but none gave her such chills.

“W-What are you going to do?” Twilight felt herself paralysed under that intense gaze.

Thomas splayed out his fingers moving them rhythmically in front of the petrified pony.

“Watch,” he whispered.

Then, moving his fingers and clenching them into his fists, he took his hand and… pulled his thumb right off.

Twilight’s mouth flopped open in a half-choked scream.

“Alien,” he said and then reattached his thumb.

Twilight stumbled back, wide-eyed. “Impossible… advanced magic… only Discord could do that… could the aliens be a powerful race on par with Discord?!”

And so Thomas settled back in his recliner and continued to sip his beer, satisfied that he had further the legend of his people on a distant world. He relaxed, not knowing that this would have further consequences down the track...

I don't intend on using this in the story, but if I change my mind then I'll remove it from here. Sunny, I love you, you beautiful Aussie.

*EDIT 7/15/2019* Would you like to know what happens that night with Rarity? Check out the mature side story, Only Fools Rush In.

Intermission: Peruvian Walnut

Princess Celestia was the kind of pony that when something was bothering her, or on her mind, she’d put on a mask to cover it. It wasn’t to be rude, she wasn’t unwelcoming of ponies to come to her aid, either. She really did appreciate all the hard work her little ponies did to ensure she and her sister were happy and taken care of... but some things just needed… tact, a word Luna would use in all the wrong meaning.

Luna was the opposite. When faced with a problem, she saw it as a challenge, and would dive in head first, wings out, horn glowing with alicorn magic. This was the reason that Celestia was Tartarus bent on ensuring everypony else but her sister help. After a major conflict, ponies needed sincerity, calm leadership, and above all else, their mother figure to comfort them in this troubled time.

A guard once compared Luna to his younger sister: a punk. Thankfully, Luna thought the idea of piercings was a sin, and was aghast at the idea of inking one’s inner lips. She did, however, retain her outward demeanor by pushing her way through life and not worrying who she’d offend.

Floating alongside Celestia was a manila folder filled to bursting. It was a constant reminder of why, in this particular case, Luna’s brashness might be a boon.

Upon Twilight’s departure for the town of Oasis, Celestia had taken it upon herself to do a little bit of her own homework on the side. Between relief paperwork and her own duties, she also enlisted the help of a couple secretaries to start digging through records to gather any information on Oasis, and its citizens.

What they found was quite shocking, and mildly disturbing, which caused her the current migraine.

Looking over the reports, the town paid taxes and was part of the BH and LM’s hydro-generator grid which fed power to Nowhere and its surrounding towns. Although at times it would have a rapid spike in demand and attempt to draw three times the power, causing a blackout. Another oddity that left her scratching her mane was a majority of the farmsteads were upon the Badlands, where she did not govern nor had any purchase on the ground they farmed.

Pushing aside the very idea that the barren land was even fertile enough to support life, they were paying her taxes for non-Equestrian property.

The oddities didn’t stop there.

At first glance, none of the names on tax forms and land contracts were recognizable. Not unusual for a couple thousand years old alicorn, but after reading her secretary’s reports, and the files given to her, they should have.

Firstly there was Sunny Side, whose father was a corrupt Manehattan politician. He embezzled and swindled hard-working ponies out of millions of bits, and once caught, was sentenced to jail. Well over two hundred thousand bits were still unaccounted for, and Celestia found no records of what happened to Mrs. Side, if there even was one. Eight years ago Sunny herself purchased the local Inn & Tavern and renamed it.

Until that point, there were no records of Sunny Side other than a Manehattan birth certificate, listing only her father on the paper. More puzzling, she found a copy of a marriage certificate, the spouse being only one name, Bobtavious. Race, tribe, and cutie mark were left blank, raising flags had she seen this upon their marriage. Mistakes happened, but neglect of this caliber was usually intentional.

Swift Delivery, a young colt who had dozens of juvenile drug running charges, but upon the age of sixteen up and vanished. That is, until three years ago, at the age of twenty, when he was appointed the mail pony for Oasis.

How did the Equestrian Postal Service allow such a young pony, one with a history like his, be part of their ranks? How had she, when she personally oversaw government enrollment?

A pony by the name of Short Circuit had four entire drawers of a filing cabinet in Las Pegasus hidden away in a dreary basement, full of questionable charges, ethics, and deviancies.

The scarier part was that chunks of each page were blacked out and several were marked Top Secret with big red stamps.

She was Princess Celestia damn it! She was the top of the top and even she had to fill out forms just to see them, the magical encryptions and barriers required a skillset far above her own. And even after all that, there were still parts she could not get access to. She needed to have some choice words with former agent Sweetie Drops next time she stopped in Ponyville, and turn in a favor.

The list went on and on. Former big time robber, never convicted because of lack of evidence, and now the sheriff. A Canterlot noble’s daughter, marrying a convicted document editor, and then running off together. Now the mayor and secretary? Do-Right Fixit (deceased) and his wife, Marry Fixit, the former a contractor sued for mishandling the construction of an apartment complex which lead to the injury of a dozen ponies, and the later with several misdemeanor charges of trying to sell off ‘real’ Van Pone paintings.

Lastly, but certainly not least, Thomas M. Baker. Until ten years ago he had no past, a non-Equestrian birth certificate (Dearborn, possibly from the Elk nation?), not anything Equestrian related, yet was now well into his forties, running Do-Right Fixit’s carpentry shop, and paying taxes without any clear citizenship.

This was all too much for one royal alone. She needed help.

Luna was, much to her chagrin, her only real option. Cadence was busy with the Crystal Empire, her husband was being flown all over Equestria trying to restabilize the Royal Guard, and Twilight… was by now just getting off the train and entering a place she’d never have sent her former student, let alone a relatively newly crowned princess, had she known of the ponies living there.

Celestia was who everypony went to in times of crisis and need. Luna hid in the background, building and formulating solutions while Celestia smiled and reassured everypony that things would be fine. They had, many times over, conflicting ideas and solutions to the problems of governing a nation, but one way or another, they figured something out.

World-ending national security this was not, but it was no less troubling on the mind.

Approaching Luna’s chambers, the two nocturne pony guards saluted, and the left one knocked on the chamber doors before entering. Celestia stopped before the remaining guard, who stood still as a statue.

“It’s daytime.”

“Yes, Princess, it is.”

“Isn’t your shift over? You both should have been relieved of duty for the morning.”

“We’re pulling double duty, your Highness. We’re light hoofed, and door guards are low priority.”

“I see.” Celestia turned to see the other nocturne exit Luna’s room, holding the door open to enter.

Smiling, Celestia walked through the open door. “Thank you, both of you for your service this day.”

Both guards bowed, the one returning to his location at the opposite side of the now open door.

Entering Luna’s private chambers was always a fascinating thing to behold for anypony, and Celestia couldn’t help but feel like she was going back in time when she did so.

Filled wasn’t the right word for the large, open room, but it was the first to come to mind. Mementos of the past lined the room: suits of armor long since put out of service. Paintings on the walls depicting prior conflict, and winning battles, hung along side tapestries hard-earned in peace and in blood. Trinkets from old friends and now lost nations weighed down the heavy wood shelves. The only thing that stood out was the primitive wood stove in the corner, with a coffee percolator resting on top.

As much as Luna had been adapting to modern Equestria, electricity was still one thing she refused into her room. Made apparent by the gas lanterns that hung on every wall, and the candles which rested on each table and desk. Her shades were all drawn and closed, a pony could mistake it for the middle of the night.

“Good afternoon, sister. What brings you to my chambers this fine day?”

Celestia rolled her eyes. Luna always had a flair for the dramatic, and impromptu visits only caused her to grind further. She found Luna sitting at one of her two desks, the furniture sharing the wall she faced, while at opposite ends. Celestia had only one desk, and used it for everything. Luna had two, using one for work under the crown, and the one she currently sat at for personal matters. Both placed Luna’s back to anypony entering to give off a false sense of vulnerability.

Celestia didn’t argue it anymore. She gave up on that a hundred years before her sister’s banishment.

Clearing her throat, Celestia stopped in the middle of the room. “Lulu, I’ve been having some… issues lately.”

Luna looked up from her scroll, lowering her reading glasses. “Oh? And what, no stallion tall enough to properly mount you?”

Celestia choked on her own saliva. She would have normally been prepared for such remarks from her sister, but with all the distractions, and disconcerting discoveries of Oasis; it had her off-guard to the remark.

Luna raised a brow. Celestia noticed her sister’s expression softened from her usual stone faced look. “My my, it must be serious. Do tell, sister, what ails you?” She turned from the roll top desk, horn lighting up to deposit her glasses onto the writing surface and rolling down the top cover.

Celestia glanced behind her at the open doorway, one guard just barely visible, letting them know he was there for any beck and call. At Luna’s nod the guard saluted his bat-like wing and closed the door with barely a click.

“We have privacy sister. Please, speak what ails your mind.”

Celestia floated over the overladen manila folder to her sister. Luna took it in her magic with care, opening it and flipping through the scattered pages. In what seemed like only a few seconds, Luna closed the folder and placed it onto a side table.

“I see. Oasis.”

At Luna’s calm demour, Celestia dropped her guard, frowning. “You know?”

Luna nodded, her face stoic like Celestia was moments before. “Aye. Since my return, something there was unsettling at first glance.”

Narrowing her gaze, Celestia glared at her sister. “So when were you going to tell me?”

Luna shrugged, breaking eye contact for a moment to stare at the closed windows. “When the time was right.”

“And when would that have been? When somepony far worse happened upon that town?”

“Tirek already hath stomped through, yet they remain. I see nothing to worry over,” Luna said with an eye twitch.

“So you expected me to, what, never find out of this place?”

“Nay, We never voiced such allegations.”

“Then when? This is a problem, Lulu. These ponies-”

“Those ponies, dear sister, are far from Equestria proper, harming nopony but themselves. Furthermore, they are all on the amends with what they’ve done. I saw no reason to bring you into their lives and unsettle what they’ve fought so hard for.”

Celestia sighed. “So you knew how this would upset me.”

“Aye. I can see the hurt in your eyes. You are not sure how to feel.” Luna sat straighter in her chair, wings ruffling. “The Element Bearers are there, correct?”

Celestia nodded.

“Then I say leave them be. We both know of your pupil and her friends’ abilities. Worry not for them, sister, surely they will be fine.”

Staring at her sister, Celestia could tell there was a lot more to be said. “I do not remember telling you of their departure to the town.”

“Settlement,” Luna cleared her throat. “Do you truly think anything happens in this castle that I am not aware of? Somepony had to help your secretary gain access into that Las Pegasus basement.”

Stomping a hoof, Celestia let out a huff. “How far does your knowledge go of these ponies? This town? What are you not telling me?”

Luna looked on, nonchalantly. “Nothing. Thou didst not ask. What do you wish to know?”

Celestia floated over a cushion, and took a seat on the floor. In truth, there were a lot of questions. The more apt question would have been what did she not wish to know, but Luna loved her little mind games.

Her magic flared, and Celestia brought over the folder, finding one particular page, and placed it on the floor between them, facing herself.

“Thomas Baker.”

Luna nodded with a sly grin. “The carpenter.”

“Ignoring the rest of the troubled ponies of this town-”

“Settlement.”

Rolling her eyes, Celestia let out a sigh. “Right, settlement, ignoring everything else, what is it about him? It is a male, correct?”

Luna nodded. “Aye. We’ve conversed many a night in his dreams.”

Celestia raised a brow.

“Although, not as of late I’m afraid. Much more troubled minds to deal with after Tirek’s defeat.”

Ears downcast, Celestia stared at the page. So many questions, but one that bothered her the most, so she voiced it. “So do you trust him?”

For the first time since Celestia walked into her room, Luna relaxed, leaning back into her chair with a wide grin. “Always for the throat, dear sister.”

“That was not an answer.”

“Nay, it was not.”

“So you do not trust him amongst our ponies?”

Celestia watched as Luna grinded her teeth, deep in thought. Rotating her jaw, Luna said, “I trust him in the settlement of Oasis with the other troubled souls out to redeem themselves.”

Celestia glared at her sister.

Luna let out a single laugh. “Dear sister, of anypony, you should be well versed in the idea of redemption.”

“I am. But what upsets me is that you hid this from me.”

“I would not use the word ‘hid’.”

Horn glowing, Celestia looked up to the ceiling, magical numbers appearing as she counted. “Did not confide in me. Purposely held back information. Swept this under the rug.”

Luna waved a hoof. “Yes, yes, and there are a hundred hundreds more other ways to say it. I told you nothing, because it was nothing.”

“Thousand, Luna, I know you can count that high.” Then a thought hit her. “Was?”

Silence took over the conversation as Luna stared at her sister. After a solid minute, Luna rose from her seat and stepped to the floor, walking past her bed, a wing tracing the footboard.

“Sister, do you remember much of our old home?”

Celestia blinked. “What does this have to do with Thomas?”

“Humor me. So do you?”

Closing her eyes, the faded, blurred lines of their old castle home were barely images, but instead bleeding together into a mess of oil paints.

“I thought not. Being gone for a thousand years, I do.” Luna approached one of her dressers, a hoof tracing the ornate carvings around the top edge until it stopped at one of the top drawers.

With a groan, she opened it, but not without a miserable sound not unlike a dying cat.

Celestia blinked, focusing on the dresser. The sound wasn’t so familiar, but the feeling of hairs standing on end along her neck certainly was. Looking around her, next to the bed, and then both desks… the book shelves, another dresser… they all matched. A set. A familiar set.

“These are your old furnishings,” Celestia gasped.

“Nay, but replicas, for mine were destroyed due to conflict, time, and neglect. Our ponies sought out to save the art, artifacts, treasures abundant, but left mine furnishings to rot. You remember these, do you not?”

“Mother’s…”

Luna turned to her sister. “Very good. Mother had a keen eye on craftponyship. She made sure that the wood reflected the pony they would belong to. A rare wood for us Equestrians, but when the Saddle Arabians offered a warm gift of welcome… there was but one thing I asked.”

“They made you this?” Celestia’s eyes widened, the cost, the time, how they would have offered so much for nothing?

No wonder trade has been such a battle as of late.

“Again, nay. I asked for but the timber.”

Celestia tilted her head. She knew the answer, but wanted her sister to say it out loud.

“The carpenter, Mister Baker.”

She watched her sister walk from dresser, to the desk, to the wardrobe, and back to the bed. Celestia swore she was back in their old castle, the faint flickers of candle light causing ghosts of her past to dance in the shadows. Images of her younger sister pacing about, worrying over such trivial things such as how cute she found a particular guard, or what gown best showed off her assets.

A small smile found its way onto Celestia’s face, and Luna was quick to notice.

“So then it all, as they say, clicks now. And what, pray tell, has you grinning like you know one of my secrets?”

“You never did ask that guard to dance, did you?”

Luna blinked, confused for but a moment, and then remembered. “Nay, although other activities were had between us.”

It was Celestia’s turn to look confused for only a moment, and then blanched. “You did not!”

“Dead stallions tell no tales. Mine own tail, however, would be one he could never talk about even when living.”

Sighing, Celestia shook her head. “Let's… get back on track. Thomas Baker.”

“Very well.” Luna continued walking, “His skill has honed quite well, for having been a mite more than a novice upon coming here. His mentor, Do-Right, was one of impeccable detail and worth in their line of work. He taught the man well.”

Celestia continued to watch Luna walk around, stopping at the headboard.

“We- that is, I, went to Do-Right for the job. At the time, he was taken ill, and insisted his apprentice take the job. He… was not what I first thought.”

“Not a pony.”

“Correct.”

“Then what? I can’t see many gryphons taking up such a profession. Typically minotaurs take up such hand oriented tasks, like the smithing works in Fillydelphia.”

“True, but to be blunt, Thomas is not of our world.”

Blinking, Celestia stared at her sister in confusion.

“He is what is called a human. Upon my return I saw his dreams, but thought them fevered and delusional in fantasy, so I let them be. Once I met him, I realized that I was horribly wrong, and he was having nightmares of his home.

“I helped heal his mind of his night terrors, although he was still burdened. So we would share stories of our past. Had I known what he was doing at the time, I’d have not said so much.”

“Luna… what did you tell him?”

Luna’s ears rested against her scalp, and waved a hoof to come closer. Celestia got off her cushion, and approached the bed. With a wave of magic, a seemingly random sheet was removed from the headboard, revealing a section worn down, ruining the near perfect details of the wood.

“Oh, Luna, I’d thought you quit cribbing thousands of years ago! Do I need to order some cream from the doctor?”

Luna blushed. “Nay, sister, these are not of recent times. In our sharing of stories, I… mentioned this. As embarrassing as it was, he shared an equal story with me. However, what he did with that information was to replicate my bad habits into the wood.”

Celestia’s ears perked up. “He… carved in fake cribbing marks?”

Nodding, Luna ran a hoof along the marks. “As well as replicating the squeaky top drawer on the short dresser, and the bent handle on the wardrobe. At first I was furious, I’d thought he was making a cruel joke at my expense, and ordered them repaired. After some reflection, I realized what he’d really done, and wrote a missive saying to leave it.” Luna laughed. “That day I received the headboard back, with return to sender.”

“He knew you would want it to stay.”

“Yes, the kniving runt.”

Celestia smiled. “You seem to have taken a liking to him. I can’t think of such nicer words. Tell me, are humans tall enough to properly mount?”

Luna’s blush returned tenfold, and Celestia let out a hearty laugh. Revenge was so sweet...

“Yes.” Luna was grinning.

Celestia’s laugh slowly got quiet, her grin shifting to a frown. “Oh.”

“Aye. Our first meet, he refused to believe that he was, of all things, alive. Rambling on about some sort of purgatory for his misdeeds. After several good pinches, he realized the error in his thinking.”

Celestia’s ear twitched. “Pinches? You pinched him?”

“Yes. Several times in the flanks. Taut things, but nothing to draw up prince consort papers for.”

Again, both mares went into a giggling fit.

After a few moments, they parted from their hug. Celestia walked around Luna’s furniture, tracing the four posts of her bed with her eyes. “He did all of this?”

“Took him months, but yes. Would you like me to commission you a set? Add some height to thy bed; of course, I’m sure your guards would appreciate the extra leverage.”

With the roll of her eyes, Celestia returned to her cushion, looking over the paper still on the floor. “I fear he’s been quite busy, so I wouldn’t ask at this time. Although, if it gives me an excuse to meet him, I’ll consider it for the future.”

“Ah, he’s still hard at work? Last I conversed with him he was struggling with supplies for a new mother on the outskirts.”

“So it is true… he really is fixing everything?”

Luna raised a brow. “Sister, what concern is this?”

With a puff of her magic, a scroll appeared, and Celestia floated it to her sister.

Luna looked over the letter, and after several minutes of reading shook her head. “Such silly ponies.”

“And one human.”

“Yes, although he is silly for the wrong reasons.” Luna folded up the letter, replacing it into its envelope. “I’m sure by now Thomas has verbally castrated the mayor. And the sheriff… and probably the whole settlement.”

Celestia watched, smiling as Luna cast a duplicate spell on the paper. Placing the copy onto her personal desk, the original found itself tucked into the manilla folder.

“One thing still eludes me.” Celestia began as Luna took a seat on a similar cushion on the floor. “Why is Thomas even here?”

Luna’s ears pinned back. “Not of his own volition, I’m afraid. My best guess, is a magical storm surge. They’re more common out in the Badlands, where chaos magic had but mostly destroyed the once fruitful landscape.”

“I see,” Celestia said, “so he is trapped here.”

“Yes, and no.”

Celestia raised a brow.

“Upon his travel to our world, he had all the opportunity to return, he was just unaware. He thought himself passed on from the land of living, and was stuck in an afterlife of sorts.”

“You called it purgatory?”

“Aye, his word, not mine. Once I met him, and learned of his story, I investigated and found his entry point. Naive fool, had he known of magic, he could have easily driven back through and returned. There was still stone debris… what do you call it, a mixture of gravel, water, and such?”

“Concrete?”

“That, yes our thanks. Debris of concrete, and a strange orange and white striped barrel.”

“Like those traffic barriers used in the cities?”

Luna nodded. “Much larger, but I’d assume so.”

“So could you open the portal back for him?”

Luna shook her head. “You see, he first thought his coming here was his penance for crimes once committed to loved ones, but after my… insistence, he realized how wrong he was, and was open to the possibility of returning home. Harmony, however, decided to take it upon itself and bind him here, so now he is stuck here, until the right time.”

Celestia sighed. “Harmony works in such mysterious ways.”

“That it does. My best guess, is Harmony requires him to fulfill his self induced redemption.”

Silence took over the conversation for several long minutes. Luna walked to her stove, pouring herself a cup of coffee, her #1 Moonbutt mug steaming on her walk back.

Celestia broke the silence. “Ten years.”

Luna nodded, then took a drink. “It’s impossible to fathom a thousand years, but I was at least frozen in a daze of sorts. Thomas has been from his family, friends, and home, wide awake and aware.”

“I’m starting to wonder if sending Twilight and her friends was the correct choice…”

With a hearty laugh, Luna draped a wing over her older sister. “Banish those thoughts. Harmony, Chaos, and Faust fawn over those six. If anything, they’re the key to helping Thomas.”

“And the other ponies?”

Luna sipped her coffee. “As he has helped all of them, they too help him. He’s blind to some actions, especially those towards affection. Then again, so is the mare, but that is a story for another time.”

Looking through the folder again, Celestia stopped at a newer document. “Golden Amethyst. I feel as though I know the name.”

Looking over her shoulder, Luna skimmed the page. “Ah, yes, the young mother. She foaled some months ago. Her husband is one of your day guards stationed in the Crystal Empire.”

“Our guards.” Celestia sifted through another page. “Gilded Top? Wait…”

With a chuckle, Luna nodded. “Yes, the sheriff’s son.”

“No, not that; although that too is surprising. Amethyst, that was the name of one of the Ponyville founders. I think one of her great grandfoals still lives there.”

“Ah, the original procurer of the library, correct?”

Grimly, Celestia nodded. “Twilight did not take the loss of her home well.”

“I’d imagine you felt the same with our old castle.”

Celestia wrapped a wing around her sister, “And we cannot forget about your emotions. You have taken it well, ignoring the fact you blocked off all the electrical outlets in your room.”

“I will one day open up to it, but for now, this is comfortable for me.”

“As you wish, Lulu.” Celestia nuzzled Luna’s cheek, her sister copying the action.

With a huff, Celestia separated. “I believe Spike is planning to travel to Oasis tomorrow to join Twilight.”

“Oh?” Luna had a knowing grin.

“He worries about her, and I know she worries about him. He’s not the baby dragon she grew up with.”

“And she’s not the young unicorn he was raised by.”

Celestia tapped her chin. “You know, the more I think about it, I feel like Spike could use an escort.”

“Is that so, dear Tia?”

“Yes, and I think I have an idea of the perfect guard.”

Luna smiled, and with a clop of her hooves, her chamber doors opened.

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“Please send out a missive to the Crystal Empire post haste. We, and that’s both I and mine sister, wish for Spike the Dragon to have an escort by the name of Gilded Top for his travel to Oasis.”

“At once, Your Highness.” With a bow, he closed the door.

With a burst of magic, Celestia summoned a cup of tea, taking a dainty sip. “Well, tell me about him.”

Luna froze. “Who?”

With an eye roll, Celestia pointed to the file on Thomas. “You’ve met him. I’d feel a lot better having sent Twilight to meet what would be classified as an alien.”

“Well… Thomas Baker is… he is a… Hrm.” Luna’s brows wrinkled.

With a flare of her magic, Luna’s private desk opened, and a small bottle of amber liquid hovered towards them. With a twist, the cap was removed, and a helpful dose was added to her coffee, and much to Celestia’s shock, her sister’s tea.

“This is going to take a while, best calm your nerves.”

Author's Note

Sorry it took this long for an intermission chapter, but at least it's something.

So yeah, this is it! We are officially half way through with this story, and now we've met the players, the fun is time to begin!

Thanks again to Sunnypack and Snakeskin. You guys are da best.

Anyway, have a blog post.

It's not Love they're After...

Author's Note

Hello, and welcome to the not totally dead story The Whittler. If you're a returning customer and are confused by the sudden tone shift and tag changes, please refer to our latest revisionary blog post stating what's going on and why.

Also if you're unhappy with these changes, feel free to speak up about it. Anyway, here... we go.

It's not Love they're After...

Normally, when Spike awoke from a nap, he would feel quite rested and ready to tackle whatever disaster Twilight had brought upon their home. Or simply cook a meal, which if Twilight had already begun to do, was a disaster in itself.

This time, he felt… strange. Wrong, even, like his body was fighting off an illness and was reluctant to wake up in the first place.

Groggily, he raised his head from the hard stone he’d been sleeping on, and looked around himself. This was not his room, or the Castle of Friendship like he’d figured the cold stone would have implied.

It was dark, only a few torches lighting up the area around him. Three walls of rock, and the fourth rusty, iron bars.

With a defeated sigh, Spike sat up and leaned against a wall. It was slowly coming back to him, and honestly he wasn’t even surprised. He remembered changelings, the guard Gilded fighting the best he could, and Spike assisting with fire blasts. And then suddenly Gilded went down, Spike got distracted, and now…

“Hey, you’re finally awake.”

Spike looked across the way into a cell similar to his own; slumped in the corner was Gilded, stripped of his armor long enough for the enchantments to wear off, returning his coat to a blue color. It was difficult to make out with the poor lighting.

“So, they got us,” Spike stated.

“Yes. Unfortunately. I failed you, I’m sorry.”

Spike shrugged, then realizing the pony might not see him as easily as he could see with dragon eyes, he coughed.

“Hey man, it’s alright. We tried. I’m just kinda bummed.”

“Just bummed?” Gilded asked with a questioning look.

“Yeah. I had a ruby in my case I was saving as a snack. Wish I’d not have waited so long, and now…”

For the first time since meeting the stallion earlier that day, the guard let out a low chuckle. “You’re strange. I take it you’re used to this sort of thing?”

“Yeah. You kinda get numb to it after a while. Still scary though.”

Gilded nodded. “Other than with Tirek, my job has been relatively peaceful. Out in Oasis, however...”

“Well take it from a veteran like me. Either you’ll figure it out on your own, or you have amazing friends that will be there to save you before too long.”

Another snort of laughter. “I’m guessing you have the latter?”

It was Spike’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, six of them. We just need to hold out long enough.”

“Well I’ve also got a friend, and if these changelings are who I think they are-”

“We should be drawing in quite the audience before too long, yes?”

A new voice rang through the cells; both dragon and earth pony looked off to the side, where two changelings flanked a much larger one.

Spike was about to curse her name, but then hesitated as his eyes adjusted. The body shape was wrong, more masculine to match the deep voice.

“Wait, you’re not Chrysalis?”

The taller changeling chuckled. “That old broodbug? No, although some of her former hive have joined mine. Weak little grubs, but bodies are bodies.”

“So who are you?” Spike asked, then, “And what do you want with us?”

He looked at Spike a moment, and then shifted towards Gilded, completely ignoring the small drake. “Oh, young Gilded Top, how you’ve grown since last we met.”

Spike shifted his attention to the guard, and could see him shaking, forcing his jaw closed.

“What, don’t have any words for me? After everything I did for you and your father?”

Apparently that was the trick, as the stallion charged at the bars holding him in.

“YOU WORE HER SKIN, YOU MONSTER!”

The larger stallion hadn’t even flinched from the outburst, instead shaking his head. “Tsk tsk, we do not wear a pony’s skin, we change to look like them.”

“You fooled us!” Gilded screamed. “You waited for her weakest time and… and…”

The larger changeling leaned down to match Gilded’s eye level. “Yes, what did I do? Your mother was on her deathbed. She was practically dead already when we showed up, so I decided to show you some compassion.”

“You MURDERED HER!”

“No, disease murdered her long before you ever stepped into Oasis. I simply released her from her suffering. And then I gave you some more time with her, so that you’d have a fonder memory of her passing. Less gruesome than what she had coming.

“Sadly, we both know how that ended.”

He then turned to look at Spike.

“Except for you. You don’t know, but that’s okay. You will learn soon enough, if Gilded here does not share with you.”

Spike gulped. “I-I asked you, before, what do you want with us?”

“Hmmm… hopefully, striking two birds with one stone. Or should I say eight?” He rolled a hole riddled hoof. “Alas, I have more preparations to make, and with any luck, you two should make a decent meal for a time.”

He then turned around to leave. In the torch light, Spike saw a sparkle of a golden band around the middle of the changeling’s horn. “Now, you two play nice with our meals. Milk them for what they’re worth. We’re gonna need it.”

The two smaller changelings nodded, and one took each cell, looking at the occupants.

“What?” Spike asked with an eye roll. “What’re you supposed to do? Take love from us? Please, I’m used to this. What possibly could you do? You can’t fool us, we know who and what you really are.”

They continued to remain silent.

“Spike.”

The young drake looked over to Gilded, who stared at him with a worrying expression.

“I’m not sure about the changelings you’ve encountered in the past, but these ones… something changed them, years back, so now they feed off of a different emotion.”

“Not love?” Spike asked.

Suddenly the changeling facing Spike grinned, showing his fangs.

“No. Worse.”

Before them, the two changelings flashed in green flames. Standing at Gilded’s cell was a mare Spike did not recognize, however the one upon his own cell was very familiar.

Rarity.

She was still giving him that predatory grin, although minus the fangs. From her magic, something floated over towards them, and he realized it was a large knife.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Spike. Where I come from, everyone is fairly miserable, yet we try to find some happiness and love mixed in. Just think about what makes you happy, what you love. Don’t think about the bad.”

Spike watched the earth pony mare before Gilded bring out the guard’s own sword, handle in her muzzle as she pointed the tip of the blade to her chest.

“I don’t understand, Gilded, what-”

Slowly, ‘Rarity’ brought the knife up to her own neck, pressing the blade against her fur and skin, enough to see the tension upon her jaw.

“What are you doing!?” Spike shouted.

“Spike! Remember! Love, don’t hate. Don’t fear. Don’t let their games get to you!”

The young drake couldn’t remove his eyes from ‘Rarity’s’. “W-what is she doing?”

With a glint in her eyes, she slowly began dragging the blade along her neck, and deep red blood began falling down her chest.

Spike’s eyes were wide with horror. No way, that couldn't be real. This couldn’t be real. That wasn’t Rarity, that was a changeling tricking him. He knew it, with every step back of his padded feet, until he was up against the back wall.

Blood, fake or real, was just running down “Rarity’s” chest and forelegs, the knife still held in her magic as she grinned manically at him. He swore he could hear Gilded scream for it to stop, not again, but Spike’s own heartbeat was thumping in his ears so hard he felt dizzy. The last words he could remember, before things changed, was Gilded’s own screams.

“REMEMBER WHAT YOU LOVE. DON’T LET THEM GET TO YOU. THEY FEED OFF OF SORROW.”

With the usual amount of zest that could only put a snail to shame, Trixie Lulamoon scrubbed and cleaned dishes in the sink like she was drowning somepony in the soapy water. She couldn’t tell exactly why she felt this way, or more specifically, for which reason she felt this way the most. Usually it was easiest to just blame Thomas for it all and move on, however the things Rarity had said to her, told her, left her more confused and upset.

But… upset at whom? There was no doubt Thomas was partly to blame, but who else? Rarity? Herself?

In the six or so years she’d been coming to Oasis, she only interacted with the human maybe a few days at a time, with monthly gaps in between. Usually it was bickering, fighting, drinking, sex here and there, and then she’d leave. Come back a few months later, rinse and repeat. She hadn’t felt any real attachment to him, because well, who could really do such a thing? He was an ass, if anything about last night was obvious.

Then again… she didn’t really try to stop it, did she? Rarity had even… urg… invited her to join, if the harlot wasn’t joking that is. Would that have really made any difference? Or changed anything about the whole situation?

“Wait. What situation?” Trixie asked out loud, to which Bob, who was drying her cleaned dishes beside her, gave her a look. “Trixie has no situation with that drunkard. Why does any of it matter?”

Bob’s only response was a shrug. What the mare hadn’t realized was she had been talking out loud for most of this conversation with herself, and so Bob, the ever silent observer, listened.

“It has never bothered Trixie before what he does with himself, so why should it bother her now?”

Bob tapped a plate on the counter twice.

“No, Trixie does not have any sort of feelings for him, or anypony.”

A single tap.

“How would you know?”

Bob waved his hole riddled hoove in front of her face.

“Bah, you’re just an emotion eating bug, what do you know about love?”

Taking Trixie’s head in both of his hooves, he forced her to look out the serving window at Sunny Side who was busing a table, hips swaying and tail wagging to a song on the radio.

“Pulease, Trixie knows you only do it because of free food.”

The changeling promptly bopped Trixie on the head with a spatula.

“Yeesh, testy today,” Trixie rolled her eyes, but returned to her dish duty.

Hesitantly, Bob did the same, but he kept an eye on the magician. Eventually, Trixie couldn’t take the look he’d been giving her anymore and huffed. “Fine. I… don’t know what I’m feeling.”

Setting down his drying towel, Bob sat on the floor beside Trixie, giving her his full attention.

Another huff, then a sigh left Trixie before she tossed her sponge into the sink. “It’s hard to explain. It’s not like I’ve really had feelings for him, but for some reason, when we are together? It feels right. Even with the arguing, the bickering, the… well, everything. These feelings aren’t alien to Tr-me, but feeling them about him?”

Trixie scratched her head with a hoof. “I’m so confused. And that damned mare last night teasing me, then what they did, the whole time hearing it from the other room?”

Bob tilted his head, waving his ears independently.

“I suppose it’s none of my business what went on, but she told me it wasn’t anything personal.” Trixie let out a deep sigh. “And… I believe her.”

Placing his hoof under her chin, Bob brought Trixie’s muzzle up to face him. His other hoof tapped his chest, and then he pointed behind them, presumably at Sunny.

“Yes, I know, you two have helped me… more than I care to admit over the years. It is just hard for me to accept it. I hate this job, but… it’s better than no job between shows.”

Bob smiled, then patted her on the shoulder.

Gulping, Trixie looked behind herself, then back to Bob. “Do… do you think me and him… that we are-”

Trixie was then interrupted by the slamming of the entry doors.

“Where is Bob!?” called out Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Bob and Trixie looked out the serving window at Sunny, who looked to the entryway with alarm.

Getting over her initial shock, Sunny’s voice called out, “H-he’s in the kitchen with Trixie, doing dishes before the lunch run. What-”

There was the sound of magic, and suddenly a pop as Twilight teleported before the two.

Bob jumped, nearly falling over, while Trixie rolled her eyes, muttering “showoff.”

Twilight took two long steps, standing before the cowering changeling.

“Bob. We need to talk,” she looked to Trixie, “in private.”

Trixie opened her mouth to protest, but halted, noticing the freshly crowned alicorn’s looks.

Her mane was a mess, tail just as bad. There was dust still covering parts of her coat, and her eyes were beginning to look wild, bloodshot and the pupils shrinking.

“I’ll… go,” the magician didn’t even try to argue, quickly and quietly stepping out of the kitchen and into the main room with Sunny, who was currently surrounded by the rest of Twilight’s friends.

“What has her tail in a bunch?” Trixie asked, nodding her head back towards the kitchen.

“Nothin’ good, I’m afraid,” Applejack said.

Suddenly, Bob stormed out of the kitchen, a very serious look on his face. He marched over to the only customers still left over from breakfast, the Old Koots, and pointed at the door.

“Whassat, Bob? You want some privacy?” asked Windslor.

Bob gave only a single, firm nod.

“Alright, ya lady killer you,” he replied, then started packing up the cards on the table, much to the disappointment of the other two stallions.

Bob then gave a single, loud stomp of his hoof.

Sunny and Trixie gasped.

The three stallions’ eyes grew in size.

Twilight’s friends looked on in confusion, soon followed by Twilight herself stepping out from the kitchen, although with a more serious look.

Forgoing the cards and chips, even their cigars, the three stallions marched out quickly. The changeling followed close behind, then locked the doors behind them.

“What’s going on!?” Sunny suddenly called out, looking at Twilight.

“We need to talk privately. Securely, in case there’s…”

Bob suddenly appeared before Twilight, his muzzle dangerously close to her own, and sniffed her. Seeming satisfied, he then moved about all of Twilight’s friends, doing the same, with each mare giving him varying expressions, however with the thick atmosphere none spoke a word.

He then checked Trixie, and lastly Sunny, before looking at Twilight and nodding.

“Can we talk in a room?” Twilight asked.

A single nod from Bob, and he began marching towards the stairs. Rainbow took to the air, planning to fly up, but they all noticed the changeling make for the small door leading down below, where Thomas had gone previously to check the electrical breaker.

He opened the door, and waving a hoof, motioned for all the mares to begin filing down. Sunny Side led the group, with Twilight behind her, and the rest following. At first Trixie stood still, unsure if she was even part of whatever was going on, but a wave from the changeling told her to follow along.

The narrow stairs went down several yards, until they found another door. Opening it with her hoof, Sunny allowed Twilight to enter first, and the alicorn froze in place with a gasp. Her friends were quick to join her, and looked on in stunned silence.

The room was massive, carved into the ground, with each wall being dug into making shelves. All of the shelves held within them books. Many newer, but some showed the age of their bindings.

“Welcome to Oasis’ Library, owned and operated by Bob,” Sunny said, storming past the six mares, with Trixie close behind.

Bob was the last to enter, closing the door.

Sunny abruptly turned around, hooves grinding into the dirt floor. “Now, ya’ll better get straight to the point. I ain’t seen Bobby this upset in a long time.”

“It’s simple, really. We went to pick up Spike and his entourage,” Rarity said.

Pinkie jumped in place. “Yeah! The train showed up, but it was missing a car and caboose! Twilight flew to find them, and then suddenly Road Rage was there with his wagon!”

“So we hopped in and went out until we found the car,” Applejack added.

“They’ve been foalnapped!” Rainbow hovered in the air, close to Sunny.

“It was.. Was…” Fluttershy cowered slightly, while Rarity hugged the shy pegasus.

“Changelings,” lastly, Twilight said.

Sunny blinked. She then looked to Bob. “Honey, what do you think?”

Bob marched forward, and held out a hoof to Twilight, who brought out a small vial of goo and placed it into the waiting appendage. He uncorked it, poured some out and gave it a sniff. His ears instantly fell, and slowly he turned to face his wife, and nodded solemnly.

“No…” Sunny whispered, her eyes large and pupils shrunk.

“It’s not a problem, Sunny Side. We’ve dealt with changelings before, we can do it again. We just need-”

Suddenly, Sunny Side shot forward, gripping Twilight’s shoulders with her hooves.

“No! You don’t understand! You can’t go!” she began shaking Twilight.

“Hey now! Easy goes it there, Sunny!” Applejack grabbed the earth pony, pulling her back from Twilight.

“You… you can’t go. Can’t go back. I won’t go back. No… no…”

Bob quickly pushed Applejack away, and hugged his wife tightly, rubbing her head with his muzzle.

“Wait, what is happening now? Trixie is lost.”

“Urg, weren’t you listening?” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes. “Spike and Gilded got foalnapped by changelings. We need to go and kick their butts. Simple as that.”

“No! Not simple as that!” Sunny screamed, Bob hugging her tighter.

“Bob, you need to tell us, or show us, where the hive is. Road Rage said your old one was abandoned, but surely you know where the new one is, or can help us find it? After all, you are a…” Twilight’s lips grew dry, unsure how to continue the line of thought before she offended.

Bob looked down to his cowering wife, and then shook his head.

“You must! Our poor Spikey Wikey needs us!” Rarity cried.

Applejack stepped forward. “And ain’t they got one of yer own? Copper Top’s son?”

They were answered with a very stern look from Bob, who quickly shot Trixie a similar look. He then pointed up.

“You want me to take them back upstairs?”

He emphasized the motion again with a stronger arm thrust upward.

“A-alright, fine, if Trixie must.”

“Bob, wait, please, we need-”

The changeling’s demeanor changed instantly, from one of sorrow and compassion for his wife, to outright anger and snarling as he looked at the Princess of Friendship. Trixie quickly grabbed Twilight’s tail with her magic and began tugging.

“Now is not the time, Princess.”

After a few seconds, Bob’s expression softened, looking back down to his wife in his forelegs as she silently wept. Hesitantly, Twilight followed the rest of her friends out of the cellar slash library, Trixie waiting at the doorway.

All seven mares took slow steps upwards, then into the main room, forming a circle of concerned mares that didn’t know what to do next.

“What was that all about?” Twilight asked, breaking the silence, as she looked to Trixie.

“Trixie has no clue.”

“You’ve been coming here for years, how don’t you know anythin’?” Applejack asked.

“Because Trixie mostly stays to herself, she does not go around digging into other’s pasts.”

“Hah!” Rarity let out a very unlady like laugh, which even seemed to surprise herself.

Trixie shot forward in an instant, muzzle to muzzle with the white mare.

“Do. That. Again.”

“Woah, easy there Sally!” Applejack quickly got between the two, pulling Rarity from the enraged unicorn. “Now that there was uncalled for Rares, and ya know it. Apologize.”

Rarity huffed, but then cleared her throat. “Yes, you’re right. Trixie, I’m sorry, that was uncouth of me.”

Applejack then looked to the magician. “And you?”

“And me what?”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Never mind.”

Twilight approached Trixie. “You have to know something. Thomas told me a little about how he and Bob met, or at least, became friends.”

“That was before Trixie’s time here.”

“So you’ve heard nothing?”

Biting her lip, Trixie looked around the room.

“It… all Trixie knows is something happened a while before she started coming here. Involved the settlement, and several of the residents here. Trixie was never part of it, and was always left out of discussion of it. However…”

“However, what?” Applejack asked.

“Whatever it was, it involved Bob’s hive, and a lot of ponies went missing, or dead.”

Several gasps came from the mane six, except Applejack removed her hat to place it upon her chest. “Golly…”

“The lucky ones died quick.”

Everypony shot looks to the stairs, where Sunny Side stood, Bob close behind her, as if he was trying to keep her away from the group of ponies.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“Copper Top’s wife. Farmer Jack’s daughter, Windslor’s wife. And my… fiance before them, to name a few. They were sick, grim even. The second time, Bob’s hive, they came and infiltrated our settlement.”

“Your fiance? But, you’re married to Bob, so what…”

Rarity’s gasp cut Twilight’s train of thought off, as they looked to the changeling, head downcast, ears flat, and eyes glossy, not in the moment.

“The second time?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yes. The first time, Bob murdered my fiance, took his place for almost two years. Fed off of my love, returning it to their hive, a solo mission. His guilt, however, had started to crawl in his mind as he developed his own feelings for me. One day, he confessed what had happened, who he was. I was devastated, all I could do was scream and cry.”

“Then he returned to his hive, and eventually…”

“I found him.”

Everypony jumped, looking at Thomas Baker, sitting on the floor and fixing a bar stool leg.

“Land sakes, Old Tom, how long have you been there?” Sunny asked.

“Saw the Old Koots running out of here in a hurry, knew something was up so I let myself in.” He then looked to the six mares who’d become his pain in his backside. “So, are we having that conversation already?”

“I’m afraid so,” Sunny said downcast, to which Bob hugged his wife tighter.

“Fine, I suppose it was bound to happen sooner than later,” Thomas said, setting down his screwdriver as he leaned his back on the bar, much like he’d done with Twilight the other night.

“I’d been here for a couple years, maybe slightly less. None of the locals really cared about me, left me mostly alone while I worked with Mister Fixit, since he was the only pony to take me in. The only other pony I ever interacted with was Short Circuit, and that’s when I found Bob…

“And how we discovered the magical abilities of some of my stuff.”

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

“Well, I had been giving some of my useless stuff to Circuit for some of his… experiments, and on that trip he needed some gold. So I gave him my old wedding band.”

“Wait, hang on, ya’ll were married!?” Applejack took a step back.

“Yeah, but that’s for another time,” Thomas continued, “so on my way back from the dam, I found a changeling on the brink of death. I didn’t know at the time what had happened with Sunny’s fiance, but I also had no exposure to changelings so I just figured it was a really weird looking pony.

“I brought him back to town, begged, pleaded for one of the townsponies to help. Old Doc, not Holiday, outright refused, saying he wouldn’t help a creature Tartarus bent on doing them harm. By this time, Copper Top had been our sheriff I think less than a year, his wife and their son had only recently showed up in town, confused. The old mayor, shit what was his name even?”

“Business Savvy,” Sunny said.

“Right, that jackass, and I mean that both figuratively and literally, tried to rally the town to hang the changeling, jail me for being a sympathizer and because he was racist and hated me, and interrogate the two new ponies because possible spies or what not. It got confrontational, Billfold stepped in, at the time his assistant, and pleaded for everyone to calm down.

“He wanted Top to jail not just me, but his own sick wife, and his young son because he was too stupid to look over the stack of bits he’d been embezzling from the town’s taxes. I told him to shove it, and then that corrupt jackass kicked me. Tried to bring me down to his level, well I retaliated and made him eat sand.”

“Ya dang near killed him,” Sunny interjected.

“I know, but thankfully that’s when Billfold took over the situation, I was temporarily deputized, and after weeks of mock trials and interviews and what not, Sunny forgave Bob, we kicked Savvy out, Bill took over, Top stayed sheriff, Doc reluctantly cared for Bob, and we now had a mute changeling living in town.”

“Wait, so really that’s it?” Rainbow asked, hooves crossed as she hovered off the ground.

“Not quite,” said a new voice.

Everypony looked to the door, where Mayor Billfold and Copper Top stood.

“Doesn’t anypony know what it means when a door is locked!?” Sunny shouted, facehoofing.

“Old Koots came and got us. What’s going on?”

“It’s story time, come have a seat. Hope you brought a snack,” Tom said mockingly.

“Okay, so what did you mean by not quite?” Rainbow asked.

Tom continued, “As Sunny had said previously, that was only our first encounter. Our second encounter, while not direct at first, started several more weeks later. We got a telegraph from the dam. Swift wasn’t our postal pony or telegraph operator yet, before his time here. Missus Billfold handled it, and told us she got a S.O.S from Circuit. Myself, Billfold, Copper, and Bob jumped into my van and we drove out there to see what was happening.

“Going inside, the place was a disaster. Machines busted, tables turned over. We found Circuit in the middle of his room, bleeding from his forehead, and my gold ring beside him. He used the last of his magic to send the S.O.S, and passed out. We rushed him back, got him to Doc, and learned his horn had been overloaded by an emotional, and magical, backlash.

“Doc said he’d never perform magic again. We took Doc out there, and he did some scans, and said my ring held some huge… magic whatever, but basically it stored in it my emotions, which surrounded my previous marriage that were…”

“Very, very bad,” Trixie said.

“Yeah. So, I tossed it into the water just outside the dam, and we moved on.”

“Okay, so NOW are we done with this lame story?”

“No,” Copper Top said.

“Of course not,” Rainbow grumbled.

“The following months, ponies started to get sick,” Copper Top said. “My wife had already been fighting her immune system disease, and when this hit it nearly killed her.”

“As well as a quarter of the town’s population,” the Mayor added.

“What we didn’t know, however, was the water supply was being tampered with,” Copper Top noted.

“And then Bob made an unsettling discovery, because during this time he had taken on a new disguise so ponies wouldn’t be unsettled by him. So when I got sick myself, nopony realized what had happened to me.” Sunny said, and started to visibly shake.

“Bob discovered his wife was a changeling, when one morning she kissed him, and he felt no love,” Thomas said as he began to stand up. “They fucked up, thought they were tricking some random stallion, but had they looked closer, he was one of their former own.”

“It was quickly discovered that other changelings did the same with ponies. They took them out, took their places, to feed off our sorrow for them as we watched them die.”

“Watched them die?” Rainbow Dash gulped.

“Sorrow?” Twilight questioned, then, “Changelings feed off of love, that makes no sense.”

“They did, but at the time we didn’t know of this change. We were clueless, figuring it was our love. But something didn’t sit right, why continue to pretend to be sick, on the verge of dying? Just barely hanging on?” Copper Top removed his hat, pressing it against his chest.

“They took us to their caves, where they tortured our already sick minds and bodies,” Sunny added.

“And then I discovered Mister Fixit had been swapped, and I was pissed,” Thomas said, fists rolled and ready to punch.

“I loaded up a few of my weapons, went down there from guidance from Bob and company of Top and Billfold, and I had a little… discussion with them.”

“Violently,” Billfold added with a shudder.

“Okay, but you still haven’t explained the love drainig. You all keep saying sorrow, or pain,” Twilight asked.

“Because, up until the end where we rescued who we could, their leader showed up, with my wedding band over his horn.”

The mane six gasped. “But wait, you said-”

“I know what I said, but apparently, he figured out how to use it to his own advantage. I left them a warning, said if they ever tried this shit again I’d personally kill them all, and we left.”

“We lost 19 ponies,” Copper Top whispered, “one being my wife.”

The room was deadly silent for several long seconds, Twilight and company trying to digest the flood of past information given to them.

“So, let me see if I understand this correctly,” Rarity began, taking one long hoof step at a time towards the human. “Spike, my little, sweet Spikey Wikey, is in the clutches of changelings that feed off of sorrow, pain and the like, somewhere in the middle of the desert.”

“Yes, with my son,” Copper Top said solemnly.

“And probably being tortured as we speak,” Thomas added.

The clack of a shod hoof striking jaw was a unique sound to only four of the mares in the room, and Rarity didn’t even notice or care, her appendage shaking with rage, yet her face on the brink of tears.

“You cannot tell a lady something so harshfully painful like that.”

“Would you rather know now, or find out and be horrified later?” Thomas asked.

“Neither.”

“Well, too bad, also that hurt.”

“I’m not sorry in the slightest.”

“If I’d known you were into rougher stuff, last night I’d have-”

This time, it was Trixie’s hoof that slapped him, sending his face the other direction.

“Okay, I deserved that.”

“You think?” Trixie asked, all the while Rarity stood there, shocked at the showmare’s sudden rescue.

Suddenly, the windows began to rattle, causing everypony to look out.

“Winds are picking up? That’s odd,” Mayor Billfold stepped up to the window.

“Yeah, no warning from the station of a possible sandstorm, right?” Copper stepped up beside him.

“Normally Nowhere gives us a day or two heads up before something rolls in.”

“Who cares about a stupid old sand storm? We need to go rescue our friend! And your son, remember?” Rainbow shouted, still hovering.

Applejack took the mare’s tail in her teeth and pulled her to the ground. “Now simmer down there Sally, we need to plan what we’re gonna do. If these changelings are different now, that means we can’t treat ‘em like the ones from b’fore.

Rotating his jaw and rubbing it with his hand, Thomas didn’t realize Twilight was standing in front of him until she sat down and huffed.

“What can you tell us about them? You said you met their leader?”

“Briefly. He was taller than the others.”

“He?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah? Why, is that weird?”

“Normally the leader of a hive is a queen, such as Chrysalis,” Rarity added.

“I don’t know about that, but it was for sure a he. He was very calm, not upset I’d basically gone full COD on them underground, getting ponies out of there. In fact, he almost seemed happy, which was kind of a tip off as to what emotion they were sucking.”

Bob let out a grunt.

“That is to say, what Bob had felt. He was the one to tip us off that something wasn’t right about them.” The human then turned to his friend. “Bob, I know this is gonna hurt… but can you help guide me there?”

“You!?” Twilight and Trixie both shouted.

Reluctantly, Bob nodded his head, causing Sunny to hug him tighter yet.

“Yeah, me. I went there once and fucked them up. I’ll be damned if I don’t do it again, especially if they got Gilded.”

“Then you know I’m coming too,” Copper Top said, stepping forward.

“I wouldn’t expect any less, Duke.”

“Duke?” Rarity asked.

Copper Top rolled his eyes. “He calls me that whenever we are doing something serious.”

“Can’t help it, John Wayne was an inspiration to me growing up,” Thomas chuckled, then began to sit up. “Mayor, I’d imagine the missus would be upset if you tagged along. You’re a lot older now.”

“And wiser. I know when to pick my battles, and those are fought using quill and parchment. I’m sorry, Old Tom.”

“No worries. That’s three versus… a lot, good odds.”

“Um, hello? Forgetting someponies?” Rainbow flew to Tom, hovering just in front of him.

“Oh, you’re all going?”

Rainbow folded her forelegs across her chest, looking unamused.

“Right, national heroes and such. I keep forgetting that. So nine to infuckity.”

“Hey now, don’t go counting me out!”

Everypony looked to the open door, where Road Rage stood with a grin on his muzzle.

“You? Kid, this is gonna be actually dangerous,” Copper Top said.

“Not to mention you are not driving my van,” Thomas added.

“Oh come on you guys, I never get to do anything fun!”

Before anypony could comment, Swift Delivery abruptly shoved Road Rage out of the way, his golden mane and tail a mess, and his gray coat covered in perspiration and clumps of sand.

“Swift? What’s up?” Thomas asked.

“Not good! Just got back from Nowhere. They warned me about a possible sandstorm flaring up, said they’d send a telegram when they had confirmation. I haven’t even been in my office, but I saw it, and it’s getting bigger and bigger! Like, it’s unnatural how fast it is growing. Already engulfed the dam.”

“What? Fucking Christ on a pogo stick,” Thomas rubbed his face.

“So what? It’s just a sand storm,” Rainbow said.

“No, not out here,” Applejack commented.

“Huh?”

“If it’s anythin’ like what Appleloosa goes through from time to time…”

“They can last days, maybe even weeks,” Mayor Billfold said.

“Worst one we had was over a month,” Copper Top added, then, “Damn it all, what timing.”

“I’m sorry, Top, but you gotta stay here,” Thomas said.

“I know. Rage! Get yer coach hooked up, head for my daughter in law’s, help her get Betts loaded up and brought into town. Work your way in the usual emergency pattern.”

Copper Top looked at Swift. “Son, start in the opposite direction. Head for Jack’s, make sure the grump is okay and try to drag his flanks to town. Loop around and let others know, then meet up with Road Rage.”

Swift saluted with his wing, Road Rage saluting with his hoof, they were about to run out of the doorway when Thomas hollered.

“Hold up, you two.”

Everypony looked at the human.

“My guts are churning, this seems too coincidental.”

“What are you saying?” Billfold asked.

“We get two kidnapped, then a sudden, mysterious sand storm hits from nowhere?”

“You don’t think-” the mayor was then cut off.

“I don’t think, that’s the point. My gut is telling me this whole thing is some sort of set up. You two, use caution when approaching anypony. Make sure you ask them something personal, only they’d know. Who knows if this is all one big trap.”

The two younger males shared a glance, then nodded and went on their ways.

Thomas looked to his friend. “Bob, get things started and gathered up. Check ponies as they come in. I’m gonna go grab Missus Fixit real quick, get her and those damn cats out of harm's way.

At the mention of the felines, Fluttershy stepped forward from her hiding spot behind Applejack.

“I’ll come too,” she said meekly, then, “If, um, that’s okay.”

He smiled. “In fact, that would be appreciated. Those damn things hate me, only tolerate me cause Fixit is around.”

“If that’s the case,” Twilight looked to Rarity with a pained expression. “Rarity, we will go rescue them, but-”

“I know, darling, I was thinking the same thing.”

“What’s that now?” Thomas asked.

“Rainbow Dash,” Twilight began, “go catch up with Swift. He knows where to go, you know what to look for in a changeling. Help him out.”

“On it!” She saluted, then bolted out the swinging door.

“Applejack-”

“I know, I know, go after that young buck with the carriage. Who knows, it might be a fun ride!” She said with a laugh, then trotted out the door.

“Fluttershy, you’re going with Thomas, that leaves us three to help the immediate town prepare.”

“Trixie shall also join Tom and the shy one, as she is familiar with those pussy cats.”

Thomas let out a snicker, only to receive a glare from the showmare.

“Fine. Okay, everypony, we will meet back here as quickly as we can.” Twilight nodded to everypony, then seeing Thomas giving her a queer look, folded her ears back. “I mean, that’s to say-”

“You know, I think this is the first, genuine time, you’ve actually looked like a ruler. Good job,” Thomas walked past, giving the alicorn a pat on her mane, then continued out the door, with Fluttershy and Trixie close behind.

Copper Top let out a low whistle.

“Wow, a genuine compliment, from Old Tom himself,” Mayor Billfold looked on with intrigue.

“Maybe we actually are rubbing off on him. In a good way,” Sunny said with a smile.

Then, the earth pony clapped her hooves. “Alright, I need two volunteers. We gotta take a quick inventory of what we got, and start making rations and portions, planned out for a worst case scenario.”

“I can help with that,” Twilight said.

“Great! Bob, get the windows shutters locked up, then you can work on gettin’ ready for… your adventure.”

With a peck on her cheek, Bob nodded and headed for the outside.

“Mayor, let's get to knocking on doors,” Copper Top said, and the stallion nodded in agreement.

“Oh oh! I’ll help!” Pinkie, who’d been strangely quiet the whole time, jumped in place.

“Darling, why don’t you stay here and help set up the main area, and some of the other rooms? I’ll go with these two and knock on doors.”

“Okie dokie, Lokie!” Not even protesting in the slightest, the party mare began bouncing her way up the stairs.

“Was… did I hear actual spring sounds?” Mayor Billfold rubbed at his left ear.

“Don’t fret over that, darling. Now, lead the way.”

As the last three ponies exited her establishment, Sunny Side stared at the swinging door, watching the winds picking up more, and bunches of sand blowing almost horizontal. Thomas wasn’t the only one with a bad feeling in their gut, and Sunny knew, in her heart as well, that something bad was about to happen.

—-------

Trixie and Fluttershy followed Thomas into his shop, where he didn’t hesitate to make his way up the stairs. Both mares followed, although when he turned into his bedroom, Fluttershy was struck by a very distinct odor, and she blushed.

“Figures he didn’t even clean up their mess yet,” Trixie said, walking past the flustered pegasus.

Thomas already had the long plastic case thrown onto his bed, while he searched in his closet, tossing blankets, sheets, and random clothing to the ground.

“Where the fuck did I put it?”

“What?” Trixie asked.

“My thirty eight.”

“Thirty eight what?”

“Urg, never mind. Ahah! Here it is.”

Thomas pulled out from under a stack of dust covered sheets a small black device, which as Trixie watched him fiddle with it, perfectly fit in his hand’s grip.

With a flick of a small lever and guidance from a finger, a cylinder moved to the side, where Thomas looked in to confirm he saw six little brass ends with nubs in the center, and satisfied, flicked the gun to the side. The cylinder clunked into place, and he ensured the cylinder was locked.

“What is that?” Fluttershy, finally overcoming her bashfulness, had entered and also watched the display.

“Colt Cobra in thirty eight special. My uncle gave it to me, said he bought it in a bar for five bucks back in the eighties. Probably hot, but then again, most guns you bought in Detroit were.”

“None of that made any sense, Tom,” Trixie noted.

The human paused. “Right, you’ve not been here when…” he sighed, then looked at the long case on his bed. “Listen, whatever you do Trixie, do not touch this,” he pointed to the Colt Cobra in his other hand, “or those,” he then pointed to the closed case, “with your magic. Ever.”

“Are those more of your magical items?” Fluttershy asked.

“In a manner of speaking. I actually don’t know about the long guns, but this one… well, even Bob feels sick when he’s near it. So best to be safe.”

Tom then removed his blue button up shirt, and reaching into the closet retrieved a strange article of clothing. Almost looking like suspenders, he looped the four ends through his belt, then holstered the revolver into a spot just under his left armpit. The right side held two small pouches.

Replacing his blue shirt overtop of it to hide it, he then began to tuck his shirt into his pants, something that he’d almost never done before.

“So it is a weapon?” Trixie asked.

“Yes. Deadly, too.”

Fluttershy cowered behind Trixie, who herself felt a nervous twinge in her belly.

He then opened the long case, and the two mares could see two objects, long, both with wood on them, and tubular ends.

“More weapons?” Trixie asked, now actually nervous.

“Yeah, although the Ruger is useless, no ammo after me and Matchbox Jr. had our fun years back in the hills. He still owes me for helping find that damn bubbling crude. Jed Clampett would have been proud.”

Thomas picked up one of the contraptions, and pulled the wood piece on the middle back.

“Shotgun. Remington 870. Actually I bought this one legit, and it came with two barrels. The 20 is fuck knows where, but at least I got the 12 gauge one on it.” He closed the empty receiver, then walked back to the closet, pulling out two small boxes.

“Alright, let's go to the van.”

Both mares gulped, but followed the human down the stairs, around the back, and to his van.

“Mister Baker? Do you really think these weapons are… necessary?” Fluttershy asked.

Opening one of the back doors, he placed the shotgun and two boxes of ammo on the floor, then paused to look at the mare.

“If you’d seen what I saw eight years ago… you’d wanna damn nuke in the center of that hive.”

At both mare’s confused looks, he closed the door.

“Basically, a borderline world ending weapon. We used one against our own once in history.”

Once again, Fluttershy found herself cowering behind Trixie, the showmare herself visibly shaking.

“If you’d read the big book of bullshit, you’d have known about it, why it was used, and its justification as a deterrent to never use one again. Anyway, enough about that, let’s go.”

He opened his drivers door, and knowing what to do Trixie jumped right in. Following, although hesitantly, Fluttershy mimicked Trixie and jumped in, sitting in the middle.

As Thomas started his van, and began to drive down the small gap between buildings, Trixie looked at the human. His face was stoic, expressionless as he concentrated on the apparent task at hand. Not the first time she’d seen him like this, but usually each time she did, the aftermath was messy.

—-------

An hour later, the winds had picked up even worse, and the sand was starting to dwindle visibility to only within a couple hundred feet.

Thomas parked his van next to Road Rage’s coach, ensuring the front end was being blocked from the violent winds and pelting sand to ensure the radiator didn’t become clogged again (Trixie had to use her magic to blow it out twice on their trip). Thomas helped Missus Fixit out of the vehicle, while Fluttershy and Trixie held several of her cats on their backs, the pegasus using her wings to protect them, while a small shield wrapped around Trixie.

No one spoke until they entered the now boarded up building, Copper Top holding the door open for them, then bringing it closed behind them.

Sunny Side’s Inn and Breakfast was more packed than during Thomas’ party. Almost everypony in town, and from the outskirts, were there. To Fluttershy, who shied away from loud noises, thought it was so strange at how quiet everypony was being.

“How are you doing, Missus Fixit?” Copper Top asked, helping her remove the cloth protecting her face.

“Bah, I’ve been through worse. Once we’d had the entire house almost buried in sand, you remember that one.”

The earth pony chuckled. “Yeah, I do. Tom was flippin’ his lid trying to unbury the front door.”

“Don’t remind me,” Thomas said, removing his own face covering, “I had sand coming off of me for weeks after that one.”

Sunny Side approached, with a couple of sheets. “Here you go, ladies. Stand over these and shake out what you can.”

“Thanks,” Trixie said, then set out the two sheets for herself and Fluttershy, who did exactly as told.

“So what’s the count?” Thomas asked, dusting off his own clothes.

“Swift is stayin’ in his office, to keep in contact with Nowhere. Billfold and his wife are staying too to keep the rattled stallion calm and collected. Princess Twilight’s currently with them, trying to get a message to Canterlot and try and get some guards and weather pegasi out here.”

“What good that will do, considering the last time we tried that it took them over a week to get out here,” Thomas took his handkerchief he’d had around his face, and blew his nose into it. “By then we’d already cleaned up most of the mess.”

“I told her as such, but figured let her do her princessly thing. Rainbow Dash, after she was done, said she was gonna go fly into the storm and see what she could do.”

“That sounds absolutely suicidal.”

“Said the same thing, to her face. She just grinned at me and acknowledged it before flying off.”

“She will be okay, she’s used to flying into danger,” Fluttershy said with a brave smile.

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Okay, I saw the coach out front. Everything go alright with them? All good there?”

At that, Copper Top’s ears drooped. Before he could say anything, Applejack stepped forward.

“We… they were takin’ Golden Amethyst as we got there. They saw us ‘nd started ta make a break fer it. Road went after ‘em, I managed to get the foal. I loaded her inta tha coach, went after Road, found him knocked out.”

“Mother fucker!” Thomas said, then kicked one of the barstools he’d previously repaired.

Thankfully, it didn’t shatter, but it didn’t sit quite correctly upright.

“Rainbow said when they’d gotten to Jack’s, he had two of ‘em hog tied, waitin’ on somepony to come. Got ‘em locked in the jail. Jack stayed behind, said they’d send more, and he’d have ‘em tied up waitin’ fer a cart to pick them up,” Copper Top continued.

Then, solemnly, “Old Tom… Thomas, they got my son, and now my daughter in law. If they’d gotten Betts…”

Thomas knelt down, and in a move that surprised Trixie and Applejack, he hugged the sheriff.

“Top, we’re gonna get them back.”

“You mean you are. I gotta stay here, help out the folks. Keep ‘em calm.”

“I know.”

Sunny looked around themselves, then back to the group. “Everypony seems to be settled in alright. Is anypony else missing, or unaccounted for?”

“Yeah, just their friend Rainbow Dash, and… well…,” Copper Top said, hesitating.

“Who, Short Circuit?” Applejack asked.

“Don’t say that! He’s like Beetlejuice. Say his name three times and he appears, so just don’t say it at all,” Thomas half whispered, half shouted.

“Sorry, partner. That feller weren’t right, but I’d expect ya’ll to be at least somewhat worried. He’d be safe in the dam though, wouldn’t he?” Applejack asked.

“He should. Only comes to town once in a while, and he’s stayed out there through some of the worst ones we’ve had,” Thomas said.

“Who’re you talking about?” Rarity joined the group, her coat looking immaculate, unlike everypony else.

“Short Circuit,” Fluttershy said, then immediately found her muzzle covered with a light blue hoof, Trixie’s eyes wide as saucers.

“Fuck, that’s two,” Thomas said, looking around nervously.

“Seriously, this town is so bucked,“ Applejack cursed, removing her hat.

“At least with him out there, he helps ensure the power stays on, so it’s for the best,” Thomas said.

Suddenly, the lights overhead went out. The radio died instantly, and everypony looked around. The previous blackout had no pony worried, but with a pending storm upon their town, murmurs and hushed tones began.

“Well, great, this can’t get any worse,” Pinkie Pie appeared from nowhere.

“PINKIE!” Almost everypony shouted.

“What? I’m just saying, not like that Short Circuit pony can’t get power back on or something, right?”

Suddenly, the front door swung open as a three legged step, followed by a metallic clunk, echoed in the large room as a peach colored pony stepped in, his yellow mane barely poking through the wrappings on his head. Slowly, he removed the cover, showing a sizable, almost unnatural grin, crazed eyes looking about the packed space.

“You,” Thomas began, pointing at Pinkie, “are no longer best pony.”

The Letter

Twilight Sparkle looked over the stacks of papers and her friends, the former scattered on the table or in large piles. She herself had taken the biggest burden, which mostly consisted of request forms for relief funds of property damage after the wake of Tirek. And there was a lot of property damage. Some places simply didn't exist anymore, having nothing left standing but a couple dead trees.

The group of friends had been at the stacks of paperwork for days, although taking periodic breaks to eat and sleep. But with thousands of ponies relying on them to figure out the loopholes and find them places to stay, none of them wanted to leave a pony without a roof over their head. Twilight was affected most of all, having a larger sense of duty being a relatively new princess.

The sound of Rarity’s reading glasses tapping onto the rock table pulled everypony away from their own headaches. She massaged her temple with a hoof, her eyes closed as she tried and failed to alleviate some of the pressure.

“Take five, girls.” Twilight said, herself having to fight off a throbbing in her own head.

Rainbow Dash stretched her wings, stiff from minimal use in the last several days. Twilight could relate, her own wings feeling numb at her sides all this time. Applejack pretty much fell into her throne, her stetson falling over her face to cover what Twilight expected were her closed eyes. Fluttershy excused herself to the little fillies' room, her legs popping from being in a sitting position for too long.

The pony to suffer the most, although she did her best to hide the agony, was Pinkie Pie. There wasn’t a problem she couldn’t solve with a party. In fact, she held several of them after Tirek was defeated to bring the morale up of many ponies who she knew would begin to have post disaster depression, seeing many of them lose so much. At least all the paperwork wasn’t driving her mad, but Twilight knew she would have to redo some of Pinkie’s writings. Using pink ink was not a correct ink color, only black or blue were allowed for official documents. She had also dotted her "i"s with hearts, but if it was helping her friend from going insane, then she could overlook them.

Fluttershy came walking back into the room, her mane covering half of her face.

“Um, Twilight? There’s somepony here to see you.” she said, then quickly returned to her throne.

“Oh? Who-” Twilight’s words died as the regal Princess Celestia walked into the entryway.

“P-Princess! I mean, Celestia, what brings you all the way to Ponyville?” Twilight stammered, forcing herself from jumping out of her seat to bow.

“Well, it brings me pain to do this,” Celestia said, levitating a undone scroll, “but I have here another town-”

At once, all of Twilight’s friend let out a frustrated moan. Rainbow Dash going so far as to slam her head on the table, which was a mistake. Not only because it rustled some of Rarity’s neatly stacked papers, but because of the material the table was made from.

“Owch… I keep forgetting this thing is made of rock.”

“Truly? Another town this far into it? Pardon me for arguing, but it has been weeks since Tirek was put away, and we are close to wrapping up all the finances. How can a town only now be requesting aid?” Rarity said, all while using her magic to straighten out her papers.

“Well, that is why I came here.” Celestia began, walking towards Twilight. “For you see, the ponies of this very rural town, Oasis, are actually not requesting for aid. In the physical sense, that is.”

“I don’t understand, p-Celestia.” Twilight said.

Princess Celestia levitated the open scroll to Twilight, who took it with her own magic to read it over. About halfway down, all her friends could see Twilight’s expression change from one of frustration, to curiosity, then disbelief.

“This can’t be right, Celestia.” Twilight laid the paper down onto the table.

The paper was then enveloped in another aura, this one belonging to Rarity as she read over the paper.

“My word, this cannot be real, can it?”

“What’s got y’all in a pickle?” Applejack asked, staring at the back of the paper in a vain attempt to read the words through it.

Celestia cleared her throat. “It seems that when Tirek arrived at the town of Oasis, he did just what he’d done to every other town. Drained the ponies and land of it’s magic. They were all weak, hardly able to move, and were struggling to keep the town from falling apart.”

“And that’s odd, because…?” Applejack placed her elbow on the table, resting her chin on her hoof.

“Because, one pony managed to not have his magic taken.”

At those words, the remaining of Twilight’s friends’ ears all perked up.

“Say what now?” Applejack dropped her hoof onto the table.

“A Mister Baker was not affected by Tirek. Why, or how, the letter does not say, only that this individual managed to help everypony home, take care of them, their homes, their businesses. He even cooked their meals. Breakfast. Lunch. And dinner.”

“But wasn’t Tirek in control for like, a week?” Rainbow asked.

Celestia nodded, not needing to add words to the already heavy gravity of the situation.

“So yer sayin’, this Baker feller, took care of an entire town for a week. How many ponies we talkin’ about?” Applejack asked.

“Fourty-two, ten of them foals, five infants.” Celestia said.

The silence was deafening to Twilight, as all her friends looked to Celestia in pure shock.

“I… that’s just…” Rarity stammered, still staring at the scroll.

“It also says that this letter was written without Mister Baker’s knowledge. It seems he didn’t want any recognition for what he did, although if possible to be reimbursed for the materials he had to use of his own stock to rebuild some of the town.”

“Wait, rebuild?” Rainbow Dash said. “He also fixed the town while taking care of these ponies?”

“Yes. One home was completely destroyed, while two businesses were damaged but repairable. It seems this Mister Baker is not only a baker, but a carpenter as well. I dare suspect this pony can do many other things than what his name makes him out to be.

“So, what is it the town wants then?” Fluttershy finally spoke up.

“Just as I said before, some reimbursement for the supplies he had to use, and buy from out of town to build one home, and fix two businesses.” Celestia looked to Twilight. “And the mayor himself wants us to grant him a medal.”

The throne room was silent for a long minute, before Twilight cleared her throat.

“So, what do you want us to do then?”

Celestia took the letter from Rarity, glancing at it once before rolling it back up.

“With all of this information, there is also a severe lack of vital information. I’m sure you all have more questions, just as I do. While we are in a time of crisis still, trying to rebuild and get our hooves back on the ground, I would not put it past anypony to want to… exploit this disaster.”

“Princess Celestia, you surely can’t be suggesting-”

“Rarity, I have been ruling for a little over a thousand years, and alive even longer. I have seen many things both good and bad about ponies. I am amazed this is the only situation to arise that raises some red flags, and if it had come at the same time as the others, I would have simply tossed it aside. But, four weeks into everything? Right when we’re about to start sending out funds and resources? I find it all too odd.

“So, I want you six to go there and investigate it.” Celestia looked to the door, where a single guard was standing at attention. Upon Celestia’s nod, he trotted in with a box on his back. Celestia took it with her magic and opened it. “This is the highest award a citizen of Equestria can receive. The Mark of Harmony. Only nine ponies, and one gryphon in all of my ruling have ever received one.”

The girls all looked in awe at the hoof-sized gold medallion, resting in a plush purple velvet liner. The imaged was raised on the surface, one showing a sphere of what Twilight presumed was to be the entire world. Along the top, “The Mark of Harmony” in raised lettering, and along the bottom “Not for Ourselves, but for Each Other”. It was simple, then again, it was intended to be that way.

“The back has been left blank, for obvious reasons. Twilight, if you see fit that this award be presented, then you have my authority to place Mister Baker’s name on it. I also have the funds he requested awaiting a transfer if I get your okay. While all of Equestria needs these funds, I dare say I can make an exception for an individual who went above and beyond the call of any mere pony.”

Celestia closed the box, resting it on the table in front of Twilight.

“I’m… I'm not sure, p-Celestia. I mean, isn’t it rightfully you who grants such an honor?”

Celestia smiled. “Twilight Sparkle, after everything you have done for Equestria, for your friends, for me, do you really think I wouldn’t want an honorable hero to receive such a gift from another?”

Twilight blushed, feeling all the mares' smiles on her. Sure, she did save Equestria a lot, but it was with her friends. She couldn’t do it without them. But this stallion? Mister Baker; he did it all by himself.

Twilight nodded. “You’re right. And if this pony truly did what that scroll says, then by Faust I will make sure he gets the honoring he deserves.” Twilight looked over to Pinkie. "Pinkie, can you get your to go party bag gathered up?”

Pinkie Pie bounced in her seat. “Aw yeah, this is gonna be off the hook!” She said before charging out of the room.

“Rarity, do you think you could make a lanyard for this to hang by?” Twilight floated to box towards Rarity, who took it in her own magic.

“Why, of course dear. I can have something made up in an hour.” She stood, bowed respectively to Celestia, then exited.

“Applejack, do you think you could make up some food to bring along? I’m sure after all he’s done, Mister Baker would appreciate a break from baking.”

“Done and done!” Applejack jumped out of her seat, galloping down the hall.

“Fluttershy, I don’t know if they have a doctor or not. I’d imagine so, but just in case, could you go over to Ponyville Hospital and get some medical kits to bring along?”

“Oh, yes, of course. I’ll bring some of my veterinary equipment too. Who knows what kinds of animals or pets they might have who need care.”

“And Rainbow Dash, can you go check on Cloudsdale and see if they have the cloud machine working yet? Who knows how long they’ve gone without rain, I’m sure they could use it.”

“You got it, Twi.” Rainbow saluted, then took off out the open window.

Twilight sighed, slouching in her throne.

“Very well done, Twilight.”

Twilight jumped, completely forgetting that her mentor and now equal was still in the room.

“I know you still doubt yourself, but give it time. You are shaping up to be quite the princess, if I dare say so myself. And after watching two other alicorns come into royalty, I can say with confidence that you are already catching on and taking authority with stride.”

Twilight blushed again.

From the entry way, the guard from before coughed, getting the two princesses’ attention.

“Oh dear, is it already that time again Hank?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so, Princess.” The guard said.

“Very well. Twilight, I leave the situation in your hooves. I will take the remaining paperwork with me back to Canterlot. I’m sure Luna and I can finish this up by the time you get back.”

“Okay. What about Spike? Shall I write him and have him come back?”

Celestia shook her head. “I will write to him, letting him know that once he is done with his task he is to meet you in Oasis. He may still be a day or two from being done. He’s been a very brave dragon for aiding the Crystal Empire.”

“Well, he’s learned a great deal about organization, so I figured it was only natural. Plus, I’m sure Cadance is enjoying his company and assistance.”

Celestia nodded. “Also, I know you’re on business for this, but do try to take a day or two for you and your friends to relax. You’ve all been working so hard, you need a little time off. Luna, Cadance, Spike and I can handle things on this end for a few days.”

“Well, if you’re sure. I know the girls would be happier if we could take a break from all the paperwork. Poor Pinkie Pie, I was afraid she was gonna snap soon.”

Celestia chuckled. “Yes, I don’t blame her. You should have seen Luna after her return. She locked herself in her room for weeks, studying books and doing paperwork to reinstate her night court and guards.”

“I bet. A thousand years is a lot of time to catch up on.” Twilight looked out the window, lost in thought.

“Well, I must be going. I eagerly await your letter, Twilight. I do hope that what this mayor says is valid. A pony who does so much for a town like that, well, he deserves every bit of recognition we can give him. He may not get a full award ceremony in Canterlot, but it doesn’t seem like he would want it that way. Maybe with the townsponies around him, he’ll accept it.”

Without another word, Celestia walked out of the room, leaving Twilight alone with her many thoughts. A single question kept coming back to mind, and she couldn’t place a hoof on the answer.

“Just what kind of pony is this Mister Baker?”

Thomas Baker was not a happy individual. It was apparent by his stomping throughout the only government building, which acted as both the mayor’s office in the back and the postal office in the front. The now three-year-old wood floor was finally starting to show wear and tear from the countless hooves that stomped over it. It had taken him months to get such quality oak timbers to make the floor, and it showed as not one squeaked or moved under his weight.

The mare behind the desk that marked the mayor’s office looked at Thomas with a wide smile.

“Good morning, Mister Baker. How are you doing today?”

He stopped, looking down at the mare. “Well, Missus Billfold, I’m not very happy. And the pony in that office is the reason. So if you’ll excuse me, I need to have some choice words with our ever loving mayor.”

“It will be just a moment, Copper Top is in there with him.”

“Oh, good, another pony I’m not thrilled with right now. In that case I’ll just hit two birds with one stone,” he said, stomping past the desk and straight for the mayor’s door.

“You know, they did it for you Mister Baker. After everything you did for us, the town-”

“I don’t want to hear it, Missus Billfold. I’ve been hearing it enough from everyone else for the last four weeks.”

“Doesn’t mean it isn’t true, Mister Baker.” She responded, not taking any of the offense.

He ignored her, grabbing onto the door handle and opening the door. He entered the room, giving the door a light kick to slam it closed, and stared at the two older stallions sharing a glass of the mayor’s favorite bourbon.

“Speak of the devil himself, Thomas please take a seat,” The mayor said, pointing to a corner of the room.

“I’d rather stand, thank you Mayor.”

“Very well, do as you choose. Would you-”

“No, not now. I’m not in a good mood, and the only thing the liquor would do is make me feel worse.”

“Fair point, lad. Fair point. I forget how your emotions seem to go wild when liquor is involved.”

"Hey, that's only happened a few times!" Thomas snapped.

“Yeah, remember the last time you had a few too many? You made yourself quite the laughing stock.” The other pony, Sheriff Copper Top said as he took another sip. “How can we forget the incident on Road Rage’s twenty first birthday?”

Thomas groaned. “Why do you always have to bring that up?”

Copper Top gave a wicked grin. “Because it always embarrasses you, which also happens to calm you down when you’re angry.”

“I swear, sometimes you’re too smart to be a sheriff,” Thomas said, crossing his arms.

“Well, I was both the doctor and sheriff for six years until that colt from Manehattan showed up in his fancy carriage, took out Judge’s new fence, and then had to work off the debt. I’m still amazed he decided to settle down here.”

“None of us are complaining though. The medical knowledge he has, by Celestia, Garden Patch’s daughter might not have still had her leg if he wasn’t here,” The Mayor said.

“Yeah, I didn’t know you could graft an artery like that. Damn colt might be cocky, but he’s one hell of a doctor.”

“Okay, okay, I get it. But still, back to my point.”

“Yes, why are you here Tom?” Copper Top asked.

“Because word on the grapevine is that someone sent a letter out, detailing what I did four weeks ago.”

“Now, where did you hear such an accusation?” The Mayor asked.

“From your wife when she stopped by to get soap this morning,” He said.

“I told you not to tell her,” Copper said, taking another sip.

“You know damn well I can’t write to save my life. That’s what Missus Billfold is for, and luckily my wife has better mouth writing than me.”

“So you admit it then, you did write up a letter and send it.”

“Yes.”

“Good, so my bluff worked.”

“Your bluff?”

Copper Top burst into laughter, all while the Mayor looked on in confusion.

“For a non-pony, Tom, you sure got some big balls doin’ that. If I didn’t respect you like I do then I’d have thrown your ass in jail for lying to a government official.”

“Wait, hold on, are you saying-”

“Yes, I was bluffing. You know your wife orders that expensive soap from Canterlot. I only sell the standard stuff.”

The mayor slapped his forehead with a hoof.

“So then how did-”

“Because when Swift Delivery stopped by to give me my mail, he dropped something. It’s got an official government seal from Canterlot. Addressed to you.”

Thomas brought out the letter from his pocket, waving it in the air.

“Well, surely that is just-”

“Mayor, I may be a dumb human, but even I know the only things you send off to Canterlot are the town’s taxes, and that was four months ago.”

The mayor let out a sigh of defeat. “Alright, you got me Thomas. Yes, I sent a letter out.”

“About me?”

“Yes… and no.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Tom, the mayor here and I knew well you didn’t want anything special for what you did. And I find that highly respectable, but there was no way you were gonna get off scott free for what you did. So, we sent a letter to the princesses.”

“YOU DID WHAT?” Thomas shouted.

“Relax, relax. We didn’t say anything more than what they needed to know. As far as the letter reads, you’re just an average pony who helped out his town. I don’t blame ya one bit for not wanting to get involved with the rest of Equestria. If our meeting ten years ago was any sign of how the rest of Equestria would have treated ya, you’d probably be in some zoo by now.” The mayor said.

“Yeah, thanks again for that. You’re still lucky that bash didn’t leave a scar.”

“Now relax, Thomas. The worst thing that’s gonna happen is she denies it, so you’ll win and I won’t press the matter any further. However, if all goes well, then you’ll be reimbursed for your materials you used to fix up the town. So, why don’t you hand over that letter and we can see what their response is, hm?” The mayor said, holding out his hoof.

Thomas shook his head. “Might as well, you’ve already gone behind my back this far. Might as well just hit my front while you’re at it.”

He tossed the envelope onto the desk, where the mayor graciously took to opening it. Anxiously, Thomas and Copper waited for the mayor to begin reading the letter, but he chose to read it to himself first. To Thomas’s horror, the mayor’s face went from one of excitement to disbelief.

“I don’t believe it.” He said, tossing the letter onto the desk, then looking at Thomas. “I just don’t believe it.”

“What? Believe what?” Thomas asked with worry.

Copper Top took the letter, clearing his throat.

“Dear Mayor Billfold, I thank you for your letter. I’m sure you know as well as I do that following the wake of Tirek, all of Equestria is struggling to pick up the pieces. There are many towns which are shattered, scattered, or not even standing at all. But when I received your letter four weeks after the rest of Equestria, it left me wondering what is happening there.

“After reading of the exploits of one of your citizens by the name of Mister Baker, I can only feel a great sense of honor that one mere pony would take up the mantle and not only help his fellow townsponies, but keep the town itself from falling apart. One thing eludes me, how this pony managed to not have his magic taken from him. There have been no other records of anypony else escaping Tirek’s magic draining, and I would like to know more.

“So, by the time you read this letter, Princess Twilight Sparkle and the other Elements of Harmony will be on a train coming to meet this Mister Baker, get his story, and deem whether or not Mister Baker’s story is true. If so, then your request for a medal honoring him will be granted, and he will receive the highest honorable medal a single Equestrian citizen can receive: The Mark of Harmony. Along with the expenses he requested for to reimburse his expenses of supplies, plus an additional two hundred percent for his time and labor.

“I understand from your letter he requested nothing in return for his actions, so it would be wise not to let him in on Princess Twilight’s arrival, for he may find it unjust and refuse on the spot. The Element of Laughter herself has planned a party, small enough for him, while big enough for the townsponies to come and enjoy, and celebrate what a true hero he is.

“It brings me deep sadness to know that so many ponies have suffered from Tirek’s control, but Mister Baker’s actions have shown me that there is still light at the end of the tunnel, and we just have to all work harder to ensure that Equestria is safe once again. I wish you and the rest of the townsponies of Oasis the best of luck, and I’m glad nopony was hurt.

“Her Royal Majesty, Princess Celestia.” Copper stopped, lowering the letter.

Both he and the mayor looked to Thomas, who had his arms at his sides and a look of shock mixed with horror on his face.

Thomas turned around, grabbed the large folding chair that was specially made for him to sit in, and placed it beside Copper and sat down.

“I’ll take that drink now, Mayor.”

The mayor pulled out another glass, pouring a small amount of amber liquid into it.

Copper Top looked at the letter again. “Who in Tartarus is Princess Twilight Sparkle?”

Oasis

The train ride was agonizingly long. Even longer than the trip to Appleloosa. With such a small settlement in the middle of literally Nowhere, Twilight Sparkle wondered how it even managed to stay operating.

As if reading her thoughts, Applejack coughed. “My cousin Braeburn tells me there are plenty of travelin’ caravans that go all over Equestria. Maybe they’re able to get most of their supplies that way? More than likely, they make most of their stuff by hoof.”

Twilight nodded, staring back out her window, which for the last eighteen hours that was all she’d done.

“I’m still shocked you brought an entire tree for them, Applejack.” Rarity’s voice drew Twilight’s gaze away from the moving scenery to her friends. “I understood Appleloosa for family was involved, but you don’t even know if there is any Apple family living there.”

Applejack chuckled. “Rares, trust me when I say that there are so many Apples out there, I’d be more shocked there wasn’t at least one in the town. And if there just so happens that there isn’t one, then I’ll give ‘em the tree regardless. I’m sure they could use it.”

“Well, at least you’re bringing something to help,” Rainbow pouted, sitting in another seat.

“Look sugarcube, it ain’t your fault that they’re still having issues with the cloud machine. When it’s done you can just bring them over then.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dash said, waving her hoof and looking out the window. “Ugh, how much longer is this train ride?”

Twilight rubbed her eyes, then brought out a map. “Well, if I’m guessing correctly, another half hour or so.”

“Oh, thank goodness! I could use a rest once we find a hotel,” Rarity said, adjusting her eyeliner with a pocket mirror.

“I’m afraid that’s not all, though. You see, the train doesn’t go to the town. It’s still another twenty mile trot from this station.”

Rarity lowered her mirror. “You cannot be serious.”

“I told ya to bring yer walkin’ shoes,” Applejack said, nudging Rarity in the side.

The last stretch of train ride was filled with complaining from Rarity, mocking from Applejack, and party favors being thrown about by Pinkie Pie as she ‘limbered up’ for her planned party.

With a final jolt of the train, it stopped, steam being released and the coals being cooled. The six mares were the only ponies to exit the train, the fellow passengers giving them curious looks. Twilight levitated with her a large apple tree, and Rarity had everypony’s luggage. The train was quick to leave, wishing to waste no more time somewhere it didn’t frequent regularly.

The six ponies looked around the small wooden platform, and the one single structure no bigger than a outhouse. To Twilight’s shock, there actually was a pony in it.

“Welcome to Nowhere,” He said in a practiced drawl, any and all emotion lost with his tone.

“We’re, uh,” Twilight coughed, dust from the departed train still lingering in the air, “we’re going to Oasis. Is there perchance a carriage we can take there?” Twilight asked.

He immediately perked up, noticing the crown on her head. “Oh, Princess Twilight Sparkle. Sorry about that. It just gets kinda-” he coughed, “Nevermind. Actually, you should have a carriage coming to pick you all up. I’m shocked it isn’t here yet, then again, knowing them they are trying to hide the last of the moonshine before you get there,” he chuckled.

Twilight raised an eyebrow, but then noticed a plume of dust coming towards them in the distance.

“Speak of the devils themselves,” the station pony said. Twilight squinted her eyes, barely able to make out the carriage and pony pulling it. “Oh boy, you got Road Rage as your puller pony. Good luck.”

Before Twilight could question it, the pony pulled down a metal window cover, locking it, and then stepped out of the small cubicle. Then, like a stray tumbleweed in the desert, he began walking away, never looking back. Just walking to what looked like a random direction.

The carriage made an abrupt stop, nearly throwing the pony inside into the front of the carriage.

“So help me, Road. If you do any of that with Princess Sparkle, I will have Top throw you in jail for a month!” The voice from inside shouted.

“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya Mayor.” The puller pony looked over at the six mares. “Oh, speakin’ of the devils themselves.”

What is it with that phrase? Twilight thought.

“What? Oh. OH! PRINCESS!” The pony shouted, stepping out of the carriage. His bright red tie clashed terribly with his green coat and golden mane. “I didn’t realize you were already here. Strange, the train was-” he looked at a golden pocket watch, “by golly it was actually on time? That’s a first.”

“Well, having a princess on board tends to do that,” Rainbow Dash said with a grin.

“I suppose so. Well, why don’t you all step on inside and I’ll start the introductions out of the sun?”

They nodded, and boarded the larger coach, Twilight placing the tree on the roof of the carriage while Rarity placed their luggage on the rear rack.The Mayor was the last pony to enter, but not without some choice words.

“I mean it, Road Rage. We’re trying to get there alive, so no funny stuff.”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya Mayor. Keep your tie on.”

“I would if you weren’t the reason it kept coming off.”

Road Rage rolled his eyes, and the second the mayor was in the coach he took off with a jolt, following his tracks back to town.

“Forgive me, Your Highness,” the mayor said, taking a proper seat across from her.

“It’s fine,” Twilight was still trying to hide the blush from the mayor’s sudden physical contact. “And please, just Twilight Sparkle. I’m still new to the princess title.”

“Oh yes, congratulations on that, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Twilight responded with a nod.

“Bah, where are my manners? I always forget the proper introductions. I am Mayor Billfold.”

“Oh, so you are the one who wrote the letter?” Rarity asked.

“Well, I spoke it. My wife wrote it out for me. I have terrible mouthwriting.”

“I’m surprised you managed to become mayor then. Don’t you do a lot of writing?” Twilight asked.

“That is what I have a secretary for.”

“Oh, haha, of course.”

“So, might I ask who your friends are?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, this is-”

“Wait wait wait, you don’t know who we are?” Rainbow said. “Really?”

“I’m afraid not, young filly.”

“But, how? We’re like, super heroes.”

“Rainbow!” Applejack hissed.

“What? I just find it weird that there’s somepony who doesn’t know who we are.”

Twilight coughed. “Please forgive Rainbow Dash, Mayor Billfold-”

“Just Mayor is fine.”

“Right, Mayor. She talks before she thinks.”

“Hey!” Rainbow protested.

“And the rest of my friends are Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie.”

“Hiya!” Pinkie said, jumping into the mayor’s face.

“Uh, yes, hello.” He backed away, and so the mare returned to her seat.

“So, you’ve really never heard of us?” Rainbow asked one more time.

“Well, truth be Miss Dash, it takes some time for news to reach us.”

“Don’t you have a newspaper?” Rarity asked.

“Oh no, although when a traveler comes into town on occasion they bring with them a paper. The last one we got was about… a year and a half ago.”

Twilight blinked. “Over a year ago?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sure you have radio, there is a news band.”

“Well, we only have one radio in town, and we only get two stations.”

“What.” Rainbow’s eyes narrowed.

“How can you ponies live like that? Not knowing what’s going on in the rest of the world?” Twilight asked.

“One thing you have to understand about Oasis, Miss Sparkle, is that the town was settled by a group of ponies who wanted little to do with the rest of Equestria. It started out as a bunch of tents, then when more ponies stumbled upon them they built a single room house. Then when more showed up, they built another building. The town is made up with ponies who are usually running away from their troubles, or have had enough of Equestrian society.”

Rarity’s hoof rose to her chest, a gasp leaving her lips as she struggled to respond.

The mayor raised a hoof in turn, shaking his head. “Please, do not be alarmed. We do not tolerate thugs, criminals, or vandals. We are a town built upon new beginnings, a fresh start. Many ponies come around and only stay a year, clear their head, and, once they’ve had their fill, go back home. Others make this town their resting place. My wife and I are among that group.”

“Why is that, if it isn’t too much to ask,” Twilight asked.

“It isn’t a secret. To make a long story short, my wife and I came here about twelve years ago, after her father disowned her because she married me. We wanted nothing to do with that Canterlot snob, so we left. Eventually we came upon Oasis. I became mayor about… oh, I dare say eight years ago.”

“Only four years in town, and they make you mayor?” Twilight raised a brow.

“Well, I dare say Thomas played a key role in helping me achieve that.”

“Who’s Thomas?” Applejack asked.

“Ah, that would be Mister Baker. Thomas Baker, although some around town have taken to calling him Tom.”

“Funny soundin’ name. What even is a Thomas?” Applejack asked.

“Well, right truthfully we don’t really know ourselves. Although one time he did say that there was a blue locomotive from where he came from that was called a Thomas, so we figured it had something to do with trains.”

Twilight tapped her chin. “That makes no sense. What do trains and baking have to do with one another?”

The mayor chuckled. “Trust me, Miss Sparkle, I do hope you don’t mind that title, but his name is quite deceiving. He couldn’t cook to save a life.”

“What? Then… I don’t understand…”

“Well, I take that back, he can bake and cook, although I dare say it is barely edible. But at the time, nopony was complaining. And no, Thomas’s talent is something much more to marvel. He’s quite the carpenter, plumber, and has recently become the town’s electrician even with his limited knowledge on the subject.”

“So his cutie mark is then something that involves carpentry?” Twilight asked.

At that, the mayor began to sweat, looking anywhere but at Twilight. “W-well, n-not exactly.”

“Mayor, I’m failing to grasp this pony. He is a pony, right?” Twilight raised a brow.

“O-of c-c-course he is, ha ha, how s-silly would it be if he w-wasn’t?” The mayor stuttered out.

Twilight’s eyes were half-lidded. “Riiiiiiight. Well then, I have some preliminary questions I need to ask Mister Baker, but while we’re here, would you mind answering a couple?”

The mayor gulped, wiping his forehead with a hoofkerchief. “Well, I mean, if they’re for Mister Baker, surely I wouldn’t be able to speak for him.”

“Oh, but I insist. They’re quite simple questions, really. Like, first off, just how did Mister Baker not have his magic taken away?”

“Oh, well, he was, uh… he was… out of town!”

“He was out of town.” Twilight repeated, slowly.

“Yes, working outside of town. When he came back into town; we were all scattered and drained, so he helped us home.”

“Mayor, sir, Tirek could sense magic miles away with just a sniff. You’re trying to tell me he managed to not be found because he was out of town?”

“Well, y-you see Miss Sparkle, there are a lot of homes several miles out of town. Take Farmer Jacks, for instance. He’s over twenty miles due East.” he coughed. “W-which, as it s-so happens, that’s where he was! At Farmer Jack’s, helping fix his, uh, plumbing.”

Twilight continued to glare at the mayor, whose sweat was now soaking his collar and the knot of his tie.

“Mayor, I’m seriously doubting-”

“Oh look, we’re here!” The mayor interrupted Twilight.

And then the abrupt stop interrupted everypony as the inside of the carriage turned into flailing limbs and bodies.

Road Rage unhitched himself from the harness, shaking the thin layer of dust that had gathered on his brown coat and black hair. After all, he needed to look decent for a princess. With a happy skip in his trot he rounded alongside the carriage to open the door, all the while voices were shouting from inside, but he payed no mind.

“Owch, watch your hoof Pinkie!”

“Sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Puh-lease tell me that’s somepony’s mane and not their tail.”

“Road Rage, when I get my hooves on you…”

“Watch it, Dash. Ya almost sat on my face.”

“Mmph! Sphe ish sphitting om my phase.”

Casually, he twisted the handle on the door and opened it. All seven ponies came tumbling out in a heap, Pinkie being the last body out, all the while giggling.

“Weee! That was fun!” she said as she bounced off.

“I don’t think I shall ever ride in a stagecoach again,” Rarity huffed, next off the pile.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Twilight. I didn’t mean to shove my hoof-” Fluttershy started, standing off of Twilight.

“You’re fine, Fluttershy.” Twilight stood.

“Why am I always at the bottom of a pile?” Rainbow grumbled, taking to the air.

“Because everypony knows you like being on bottom,” Applejack smirked.

“Oh, ha ha, very funny AJ,” Dash said with a forced laugh.

Finally, the mayor was the last to stand, his tie undone and hanging from his loose collar.

“Road Rage,” The mayor croaked.

“Yes, sir?”

“Take the wagon to the Inn, unload and deposit the princess’s luggage as well as her friends’, take the wheels off the coach, AND THEN REPORT TO MY OFFICE FOR IMMEDIATE TERMINATION!” The mayor shouted the last bit.

The young stallion saluted, grinning. “Yeah, yeah.”

Once hitched, he was off again like a speeding train.

“I’m really considering having a speed limit for carriages, but I fear that colt would see them as a challenge.” The mayor said, trying to straighten out his undone tie.

“Yeah, they tried that in Cloudsdale for us pegasi. I had the highest score.” Rainbow lept into the air with a mighty flap.

“Yes, and I had to bail you out of jail eight times because of it,” Fluttershy whispered, just enough for only Rainbow to hear which brought her back down on the ground with a grumble.

“Well, I’m sure you all wish to meet Mister Baker as soon as possible, but I feel as though I should give you a couple glimpses of the work he’s done. Do follow me, please.”

As they walked, Twilight studied the buildings, still unsure if it really was a town or simply a settlement. With how haphazardly the buildings appeared to have been built, either terminology would do. But one structure caught her attention.

“Is that the deck you were saying Mister Baker made?” Rarity asked before Twilight could.

“Yes. That there is the Sunny Side Up Inn and Breakfast, owned by Sunny Side. That is where you will be staying. Thomas did a marvelous job with it. I dare say that the building will come tumbling down before long, but that porch will remain there forever.”

“My word, I dare think so.” Rarity trotted over, examining the bassils. “Did he carve these, too?”

“Yes, each one was ha- I mean, hoof carved. It took him two weeks to finish all of those.”

“Such stunning work.” Rarity ran her hoof along the wood. “So smooth, no rough spots. Simply amazing.”

“You have a keen eye for detail there, missy.”

The group of ponies looked up onto the porch at the mare who just spoke. She had on a red and white polka dotted gown and a white apron over it. Her warm green coat complimented her blonde mane.

“Golly, you look just like my granny,” Applejack blurted out.

“Gee, do I look that old?” She retorted with a smirk.

Applejack shook her head. “Naw, not what I-”

“I’m playin’, hun. I get that all the time.” She winked, then turned to Rarity. “Mighty fine work ol’ Tom sure did. I told him he didn’t need to make it all pretty like, but well, when it comes to Tom and wood, he’s always gotta show it off.” She added with a chuckle.

“He certainly did, Miss-?”

“Sunny. Sunny Side’s the name. I own this fine here establishment, Sunny Side Up Inn and Breakfast. And I take it y’all are that entourage we were expectin’ fer Tom?”

“That would be correct, ma’am. I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle, but Twilight is just fine. And then my friends Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity.”

“Well nice to meet y’all then.”

“Miss Side-” Twilight began.

“Just call me Sunny, darlin’.”

“Right, Sunny, what did you mean by ‘old Tom’? How old is he?”

“Oh that, it’s just a tease fer him. He likes to act and think he’s older than he is, but we all know it’s just a show.”

“That didn’t answer my question. How old is he?” Twilight repeated.

“Well, aren’t you a stickler for information?” Sunny’s smile faltered for a moment, but then returned. “If memory serves me correctly, he’s forty-four this year.”

“That ain’t all bad. Braeburn’s pop worked until he was seventy eight,” Applejack said.

Twilight pulled out a quill and parchment and jotted this new information down.

“So Sunny, what can you tell me about Mister Baker?”

“Oh, there’s plenty I can tell you about him, both truth and gossip. In all honesty, I think the only things I can safely tell you is that he is a kind hearted stallion. He helps look out for the town and the ponies in it. And, as you’ve already seen, is quite the marvel carpenter.”

“I’ve gathered all that, but I mean can you tell me anything personal about him? Is he married? Foals?”

“Missy, I’m afraid those are all questions best left to Tom himself to answer. He don’t care none sharin’ his personals around with strangers, and as his friends us townsponies respect his privacy.”

“Fair enough.” Twilight said. “So can you then tell me how Mister Baker managed to not have his magic taken away?”

Sunny Side opened her mouth to answer, then closed it, clicking her tongue. “Truth be, missy, I haven’t the slightest clue. I just remember that big ol’ monster stompin’ through town, destroying my porch, and next thing I know there’s Tom, pickin’ me up and takin’ me inside. I was so weak, and felt sick to my stomach, but he made sure to check up on me and feed me that slop of his, bless his heart for tryin’.”

“Slop? What kind of slop? I’ve had some good slop, especially the buffalo’s slop. That slop is the sloppiest slop there is but it was soo good!” Pinkie Pie was bouncing around the group with a toothy grin.

“It wasn’t really slop, per se. Just that his methods of cooking are, shall we say, different than ours.”

“I see.” Twilight scribbled some more onto her parchment, then with a pop of her magic it disappeared. “Well, thank you for your time. I’ll have some more questions later.”

“I’m sure you will, missy. Be sure to be back around six, least you want cold supper.”

“Oh, oh!” Pinkie bounced in place with a hoof in the air.

“Pinks, it ain’t slop,” Rainbow said.

“Awww…”

“We will be sure to return, thank you,” Twilight said.

With that, Sunny Side walked back inside. The mayor coughed, gaining Twilight’s attention once again.

“Well, next I think we should see Doc Hollywood’s office and the fine work Thomas did fixing the hole in the roof.”

For the next two hours, Twilight and her friends were lead around town, meeting the various ponies that called Oasis their home. Alas, much like Sunny Side’s answers, Twilight found nopony willing to spill any information on Mister Baker other than what she’d known already. None of them could recall how Tirek hadn’t drained his magic either, all saying they hadn’t seen him all morning until after Tirek had left.

“Thank you for your time, Missus Stalk.” Twilight said, and again her quill and parchment vanished into nothing.

“Not a problem. Mister Baker has done a lot for this town. He deserves to be recognized for it, as much as he don’t want it. My farm would be in a lot worse shape if it weren’t for him,” the mare said, then with a nod, trotted off to continue her business.

“Well, that’s ten ponies, all saying how much of an amazing, helping, and caring stallion Mister Baker is. So now Mayor, if it isn’t too much trouble, I’d like to actually meet him,” Twilight said with an authoritative tone.

“Oh, y-yes, of course. I’m sure he’s back at his shop by now. Just follow me, please.” The Mayor said.

“It’s kinda what we’ve been doing for the past two hours.” Rainbow whispered to Twilight.

“I know. He’s been stalling for time.” Twilight whispered back.

“Do you think there really even is a Mister Baker?”

“I don’t know, but hopefully we will soon find out.”

The six mares followed the mayor to a two story building with a small porch on the front. The porch itself resembled the craftsmanship of Sunny Side’s, only much more detail had been put into it.

“More of Mister Baker’s work, I presume?” Rarity asked.

“Yes, he built this porch some time ago, before he inherited this shop.”

“Inherited? From family?” Twilight asked.

“No, Thomas has no family.” Twilight raised a brow. “That is, in town I mean.” The mayor recovered, pulling at his collar. “Thomas inherited this shop from our town’s previous carpenter slash plumber when he passed on. Mister Fixit was quite the craftspony.”

“So Mister Baker apprenticed under Mister Fixit?” Twilight asked.

“You could say that. From where Thomas came from, he was already a carpenter and plumber. Rough around the edges though, but after a couple years working for Mister Fixit, well I daresay the student surpassed the teacher.”

The group of ponies stepped up the porch, the mayor walking through the already open door. Twilight noticed the ‘OPEN! Come on in!’ sign in an adjacent window.

“Oh Thomas! It’s me, Mayor Billfold. I’ve got some guests who’d like to meet you!” The mayor said loudly.

“Come on in! Make yourselves at home, I’ll be down in a minute!” A gruff voice called from a stairwell.

Twilight could hear the sounds of shuffling hooves above. She looked to her friends, all looking around at the random objects strewn around the single room. Besides the front entrance, there were two other doors, one open leading to the upstairs, and another with a “Employees ONLY” sign on it. Inside the room itself stood a lone counter, quite tall for a pony Twilight noted, a cash register on top as well as other random trinkets.

Business card holder, a silver service bell, and lots of pencils sticking up in a jar. Twilight levitated one of the plain white cards to her, reading it carefully.

Thomas M. Baker

Master Carpenter, Plumber

Any day service, hours pending

Telegraph Nowhere 459

“If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing RIGHT!”

Twilight placed the card into her small saddle bag, then looked to the rest of the room. The most obvious thing in the room were the pictures on the walls. Most black and white, all full of ponies, showing the progression of this small business and the town’s residents who frequented this shop. Behind the counter, however, she could see the obvious open spaces where pictures had been removed.

“Wow, this Mister Baker is a busy feller for such a small town.” Applejack’s voice drew Twilight away from the wall.

Applejack stood beside the Employees only door, where a large chalk board was hung. It listed names, projects, supplies needed, and even an estimated completion date. The entire board was full, ranging from simple fixing of furniture to building an entire stagecoach. There was a note next to the last one:

T. Lulamoon - Traveling stagecoach - none - Done
*Hold until FULL payment

“Lulamoon, don’t that name sound familiar, Twi?” Applejack asked.

In truth, it did sound faintly familiar, but she couldn’t place a hoof where. She shrugged, turning to the rest of her friends who were browsing the few shelves that held sellable items. Things from simple bathroom soaps to wall hooks. All cosmetics or otherwise simple do-it-yourself supplies.

“Why, these are some cute shower curtain rings. I may have to inquire about these when Mister Baker comes down,” Rarity said, holding the polished white ring with a blue jewel decoration attached.

Twilight giggled, then looked to another corner in the room. A small wood burning stove, still lit, with a coffee percolator resting on top. Next to it, a small round table with four chairs. One of them caught Twilight’s attention; It was much larger, having a taller back rest. She looked back to the tall counter.

He must be a larger pony. Twilight mused.

The sound of hooves coming down the stairs caused all the ponies to look at the open doorway expectantly. Twilight noticed the mayor’s nervous expression, and once he noticed Twilight staring he darted his eyes away.

“Whoops!”

Twilight gasped as the sound of stomping hooves was replaced with the tumbling of a body. Luckily it wasn’t too many steps, as a blue earth pony crashed to the floor, his short, copper colored mane in a mess.

“Co-er, Thomas, are you alright?” the Mayor rushed over, helping the pony up.

“Yes, I’m fine, thank you Mayor,” he said.

“You’re Mister Baker?” Rarity exchanged glances with Twilight, the two already having similar thoughts.

“Yes, yes I am,” Thomas said.

As he stood, Twilight took immediate notice of the shirt the pony was wearing, and gawked at how ridiculously long the sleeves were.

“No wonder you tripped, darling. Those sleeves need to be hemmed,” Rarity said, speaking Twilight’s thoughts.

Rarity trotted over, trying to examine the shirt while Thomas tried to back away.

“Now now, don’t you fret. I’m alright.”

“Yes, I can see that. Your shirt on the other hoof is in tatters, my good stallion.” Rarity leaned in closer. “This shirt is too large for you, don’t you know?”

Twilight glanced the mayor, who was visibly shaking, his nerves on the end of their ropes.

“Well, you see, Miss…?”

“Oh, Rarity. Just Rarity is fine.”

“Rarity, thank you for noticing. Our town tailor isn’t exactly the best at his job, so I’ve simply been making do with this.” He chuckled. “At least he got my name right.”

Twilight had noticed the sewn on tag, white with both a red border and lettering spelling out “Tom”.

“Well then, might I take a crack at doing some proper fittings? I brought along with me my traveling sewing bag so it would be no trouble at all.”

“Oh no, really, it’s quite alright. Besides, there is honestly no sense in you all staying here in town. After all, I’m sure you’ve spoken to some of the townsponies by now and have a full understanding of what happened.”

Twilight blinked. “A full understanding? Mister Baker, we have barely any understanding.”

Pinkie suddenly appeared from behind Thomas. “Besides, we can’t leave yet silly! Not until I can throw you your ‘Thanks for helping the entire town’ party!”

Thomas laughed nervously. “N-no thank you young lady. I don’t need a party, the town has already shown me enough gratitude.” Pinkie physically deflated from that. He then turned to Twilight. “If you have some questions for me Princess, I can spare the time to answer them.”

Twilight smiled. Finally, she was going to get some straight answers. From the horse’s mouth, as it were.

“I would greatly appreciate it, Mister Baker.”

“Please, Thomas or simply Tom is alright.”

“Very well, Thomas. I must say, you have a very tall counter for being a shorter pony.”

Thomas blinked, the question evidently not being one he expected. “Oh, uh, well, that’s because… I use it for storage! Behind here, there’s storage space. As you can see, this room isn’t very big, so I make space where I can.”

Twilight nodded. Fair point, but she wasn’t buying it. “And the chair?”

“I’m sorry?”

“The one chair there, at the table. It’s much larger than the rest.”

“Oh, well I like my comfort. A larger chair means more space to rest on.”

Not bad. Twilight mused. “So, Thomas, why are some of the pictures missing?”

Thomas blinked. “The pictures?”

“On the wall behind the counter. There are several places where pictures are missing. I was just curious what happened to them.

Thomas glanced to the mayor, who now was sweating like crazy, then looked back to Twilight. “Well, I’m making new frames for them.”

Oh, you’re good. “Ah, alright then.”

“Princess, is there a problem with how I live in my own shop?” Thomas asked with a raised brow.

Twilight was taken aback by the question. “What? No, I was just curious about-”

“Well it seems to me that you’re trying to fish something out from me, Your Highness. I’m quite a busy pony as you can see from my board over there, so unless you have some serious questions, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t waste my time.”

Twilight winced under Thomas’s glare. Was she wrong? There were a lot of oddities, sure, but what all he said could be possibilities. She turned to Applejack, the farm pony glaring at Thomas in thought. If anypony could tell if he was lying, it was Applejack.

The sound of hooves entering caused everypony to jump, the unexpected noise quickly followed by a voice.

“Afternoon Tom. I got your-” The mailpony stopped, his words dying as he realized just how many ponies were staring at him. “Uh, is there a problem Mayor?”

The mayor was quick to react, almost running up to the mailpony and wrapping a foreleg around his neck in a vain attempt to draw the pony away.

“Swift, it’s so nice of you to stop by, but as you can see Thomas here is really busy at the moment, so if you could just bring back-”

The mayor was interrupted by the pegasus suddenly falling to the ground, a couple letters falling out of his bag as he rolled on the floor in fits of laughter.

“Sh-sheriff, what are you doing in-” Swift Delivery’s muzzle was clamped shut by both of the mayor’s hooves.

“Thomas here was just about to tell the princess about what happened, so that they could be on their way.” The mayor growled.

The pegasus’s eyes went wide, staring at Twilight with full understanding, especially now that he saw the crown on her head.

“OH! Y-y-your M-m-majesty!” Swift stood, then bowed.

Twilight paid him no attention, instead glaring back at Thomas.

“Sheriff?” she asked.

“Well, you see Your Highness, often times I am a substitute constable for the sheriff. Some ponies find it amusing to call me Sheriff however.” He glared at Swift, who was still bowing all the while trying to scoop up the fallen letters.

Twilight looked between the three townsponies. Each one in some form of panic, calmed panic like this supposed Thomas or absolute panic like the mailpony. It was time to end this charade.

“Applejack, as the representative of the Element of Honesty, would you please tell me with your honest opinion if these stallions are telling the truth?”

Applejack grinned. “Why, Princess, I do believe I can.”

“And how do you find them?”

“If they were wearin’ pants, they’d be ablaze right about now.”

The mayor gulped, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Thank you Applejack. Well, I must admit, you had us going good Mayor.” Twilight walked up to the counter, levitating one of the business cards. “From convincing the townsponies to make up stories, all the way to these little business cards. I must admit, you did a fine job, just not good enough.” Twilight shook her head. “All of this will be going into my report to Princess Celestia.”

“W-wait, Y-y-your Highness, please-” The mayor stepped forward.

“NO!” Twilight shouted, causing everypony to jump, her friends included.. “I’ve had enough of your lies, and quite frankly, I am absolutely appalled you would go through such lengths at what has been one of Equestria’s hardest hit times since Nightmare Moon over a thousand years ago! All of this for money? And a medal, to whom? Somepony who doesn’t exist?”

“P-p-princess-”

“No, Mister Billfold, I will not hear anymore.”

“You get’em Twi!” Rainbow Dash cheered.

Twilight ignored her friends’ cheers. “Furthermore, you dragged us half way across the continent, wasting our valuable time that we could have been using to help places that actually needed it, and on top of it all you bring in innocent townsponies whom you are sworn to govern to help strengthen your lies?”

“Your Highness-” ‘Thomas’ started.

“No, you be quiet.” Twilight pointed a hoof at him. “In fact, for directly lying to not one but two princesses of Equestria among the other charges against you three-”

“Wait, what did I-” Swift was cut off by a mean glare from Twilight.

“You three are now under arrest by order of me, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight elaborated with a stomp of her right hoof.

From behind her all of her friends erupted in cheers and clopping of hooves on the wood floor.

Swift Delivery’s ears twitched. Somepony- no, someone was approaching. “Um, Y-your H-h-highness?”

Twilight ignored him. “Now, you will all follow me to your jail house. Luckily it was one of the buildings you showed me, otherwise it would be quite awkward for having you lead me there.”

The steps were getting closer.

“Princess Twilight,” Swift said louder.

“I’m sorry you were drawn into this mailpony, but until I can figure out how deep your mayor and sheriff have this little crime of theirs buried, you’re also suspect.”

“But-”

“Unless," Twilight looked between the sheriff and mayor, "you're willing to tell me the truth here and now."

The two ponies looked to one another.

I got you now... Twilight grinned.

“Oh man, here comes Tom!” Swift said, getting out of the doorway.

“What?” Twilight turned back around, noticing that the mayor had a shocked expression on his face.

Meanwhile, the sheriff was grinning. “Speak of the devil…”

That phrase… The hairs on Twilight’s neck stood on end as she looked to the doorway itself. Standing there on two long legs was a bipedal creature, its features masked from the shadow cast on it thanks to the sun hitting its back.

Twilight’s jaw dropped. What in Equestria is THAT?

Author's Note

*EDIT* Aaaah, a chunch of the fic hadn't been updated from my last editing. Fixed now, so it should make a little more sense later.

There was a lot more possibilities I could have done with the townsponies, but I didn't want to drown you guys in random OC's that will be making only one appearance for just this chapter. While yes, there will be quite a few more of them, I'm trying to reserve those slots for ones that actually pertain to the story itself.

Thanks again to my editors, and if you see anything they/me missed, feel free to point it out. Or if you have any opinions on something, also feel free. I know you guys catch things that I miss.

Hangover, Hangover, Let the Whittler Come Over

Author's Note

2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS IT HASN'T BEEN A YEAR.

(As always, thank you Sunny and Snakeskin.)

Also: 2 DAYS.

Hangover, Hangover, Let the Whittler Come Over

Train rides were always so boring. It was one thing when Spike had the girls along to keep his mind busy, or another when he had Rarity asking for small favors like getting her refreshments from the diner car. Instead, he had a guard as an escort, and not a very talkative one.

Gilded Top was a strange pony, and for Spike having been living in Ponyville for so long, that was saying something. Or was it maybe that Gilded was normal because Spike found him so strange?

“Have I been out of Ponyville for too long? A week isn’t really much time, but without the girls for laughs…”

It also was no help that the guard only gave Spike short and direct answers about anything. What he enjoyed: The Guard. What kind of books did he read: Fantasy, etc. It was only a chance remark that Spike learned the guard actually lived in the settlement. Since then, they’d been quiet.

If Spike had a mane, he’d be pulling it out in frustration.

That was almost an hour ago. While silence when Pinkie was around could be a blessing… Pinkie wasn’t around, and this guard was on edge about… something.

Clearing his throat, Spike leaned over for a better look at Gilded. “So, you live in Oasis, huh?”

“As I told you an hour ago, yes.”

“That’s cool.”

Gilded shrugged. “Depends on the time of day.”

Spike eagerly awaited the following dialogue, but after several quiet seconds the young drake let out a small huff of smoke, crossing his arms across his chest in defeat.

Conversation was natural for the young dragon, and for Gilded it was the opposite. The only distraction Spike could even consider a blessing was the occasional pony who wandered into their train car and took a seat. Idle chatter would spring up between the ponies, but there was this uneasy feeling ever since Hoover that would not stop nagging Spike. Their spacious, empty car at the rear of the train had slowly gained more ponies, a new one joining them every half hour or so.

But they hadn’t made another stop in nearly four hours.

“Do you think ponies are joining us because we’re so quiet?” Spike voiced his thought out loud, not expecting a response and more so for his own self musings.

Gilded glanced down at Spike beside him. “You noticed too, huh? Perceptive.”

Spike raised a brow. “Well, I know there’s a sleeper car normally on the train, maybe it got full.”

Gilded casually leaned down towards Spike’s ear.

“Spike, Nowhere is the last stop, and there’s never more than half a dozen ponies on the train by now. Something’s up.”

The scales on Spike’s back began to tingle. “Do you really think so?”

Gilded nodded. “Yeah, just don’t make it obvious we noticed. I’m working on an exit strategy if this goes bad.”

Spike fought hard not to look at anypony directly.

“Wait, if I try to ignore them, would that give us away too?”

“What should I do?” Spike gulped.

“Just as I do. Look forward and watch the paint dry.”

Suddenly, Gilded’s quiet demeanor was beginning to make sense. “Right.”

“But also pay attention to any movements in your peripheral.”

“Okay.”

“And please stop with the nervous twitching in your legs. If they didn’t know we were onto them now, then they will soon.”

Spike looked down to his legs, and instantly froze the two appendages.

Silence once again overtook the train car, save for a mare and stallion happily conversing two rows ahead.

Coughing into his claw, Spike turned again to Gilded, but froze as he noticed the stallion’s eyes focused on a single point, his ears turned ahead.

He followed Gilded’s gaze, and picked up on the sound of something coming from the car ahead. It was an obvious sound if you focused on it, but everypony else seemed to ignore it.

“Hey, do you hear that?”

Spike looked two rows ahead, where the mare and stallion were talking. The mare was sitting up straight, looking at the door much like Gilded.

“I thought I heard somepony shouting up ahead.”

The stallion seated with her patted her shoulder. “It was nothing, probably just the train.”

“No, no I know I heard something.” Then she looked over to Spike and Gilded. “Hey, you’re a guard! Did you hear that?”

“Really now, you don’t need to-” the stallion was cut off by the mare.

“Well? Did you?”

Spike looked up to Gilded seated beside him, the stallion sitting still as a board, left ear aiming at the mare while the other continued to focus ahead.

“Well?” She rose out of her seat. “Guard, did you hear me?”

That was when the train car jerked, causing Spike to tumble out of his seat and onto the floor. All at once, chaos broke out as the mare too found herself to the floor. Before Spike could react, Gilded was overtop of him in a crouched stance as one of the ponies dove at them.

“It’s an ambush!”

Spike looked up in confusion. “What? Why?”

“Does it matter?”

Suddenly the mare screamed, and both Spike and Gilded looked over to find her being held against the train wall by the stallion she had been talking with before.

“What are you doing!? Ivory, stop, you’re hurt-”

Spike watched in horror as the mare’s pupils shrank, ears turned back, and her tail tucked up against her. Her mouth was open, jaw working as she tried to scream, but couldn’t find her voice.

And then the stallion, Ivory, turned to look at Gilded, then down at Spike with a fanged grin.

“Changelings.”

Spike gulped. “Plural?”

Then Spike noticed the rest of the dozen or so passengers standing on the bench seats, or in the aisles, glaring at them both.

The train car was beginning to slow down, and the sinking feeling in Spike’s gut only grew heavier as he recognized this feeling. The car had been detached, and they were now drifting on the rail. Only this time, he suspected there would be no buffalo to spoil him.

All around them, all the ponies began flashing green, only leaving Ivory and the mare who had fainted at some point.

“No… not fainted.”

As he was distracted, the changeling had bitten into the mare’s neck, knocking her out with a dose of poison from its fangs.

“Spike, we are completely surrounded. Do you have anything they may want that we could use as some sort of leverage?”

Before the dragon could answer, Ivory chuckled.

“On the contrary, Guard, it is you that has something that we want.”

He then pointed at Spike.

“The drake, for the mare.”

“No way in Tartarus,” Gilded snarled.

Ivory looked back at the mare, then letting her go, returned to all four of his hooves.

Spike watched as the limp mare fell to the floor in a heap, breathing slow, quiet breaths.

“Very well. We’ll just take you both.”

Slowly, Rarity awoke to the intense pounding of a ticking clock beside her. The bed was strange, foreign, not her own nor the one in Sunny’s. The ticking of the clock wasn’t subtle, much like her travel clock. Her eyes struggled to grab onto anything, and following her ears, she looked to the table beside the massive bed. The face was round, white background with black numbers. The arms were also black, but had a strange, dim green glow to them so they stood out in the darkness.

The numbers weren’t very clear to her, but the arm positions told her it was either eight thirty, or six forty.

Either way, she wanted to go back to sleep, curl up beside-

She froze, eyes widening.

“Right… we had sex.”

This was Thomas Baker’s bedroom. While everything here was odd, the only oddity worth noting was the lack of one Mister Baker.

She sat up on the bed, covers still draped over her left shoulder, and scanned the room. The bedroom door was open, hallway mostly dark, save for a strange blue light reflecting off the white plaster walls.

Shifting on the bed, she found her legs, flanks, and her sensitive bits all sore from an active night. As much as she wanted to mull over and dwell on the lack of a real afterglow as she’d normally be experiencing, her alcohol consumption last night hadn’t helped.

Slowly, groggily, she uncovered herself, and the smell of sweat and sex blew up in the room.

“Oh my, do I need a bath.”

Stepping down, her magic flared and she quickly made the bed with its current coverings. She didn’t feel up to digging through his bedroom for clean ones, and if she were allowed to believe he were anything civilized, he’d change them on his own.

“Hopefully, or else he’s much more of a slob than I thought.”

The air was cool, hints of desert dust lingering about as she stepped out of Thomas’ bedroom and gawped about.

“I could go downstairs and freshen up, or…”

There was a blue light coming from the store room. Where Trixie had said she would be sleeping. Where only yesterday, Trixie had taken her in to listen to ghostly voices of Thomas’ past that haunted him every day.

Rarity stomped her raised hoof, and without another thought, turned right and entered the store room.

The floor was still riddled with empty liquor bottles, the little red light was still flashing on the voice box, but one thing was different.

The black box in which Rainbow had seen yesterday. The glass was giving off a blue glow and a green ‘03’ was motionless in the upper right corner.

And then, just in front of that, was Thomas Baker, the human, sitting on the floor naked save for a pair of undergarments covering his unmentionables. Leaning against his recliner chair, he seemed to slump to his left. As Rarity walked closer she took notice of another thing.

Trixie was sleeping on the recliner, her head was resting atop of Thomas’, and her tail was wrapped around the human’s bare chest like she was hugging him, or trying to keep him warm.

With a faint smile, Rarity gently, and as quietly as she could, walked back out and into Thomas’ bedroom, where she grabbed his blanket.

Then she paused, sniffed it, her, and other foul scents and decided to risk looking for a cleaner one. Replacing the blanket onto the bed, she opened the closet, moving aside the strange black case adorned with what looked like natural wildlife. Rabbits, pheasants, and even foxes. The grouping was strange with the addition of a couple of deer. An odd group of creatures to show off on a guitar case-

“No, wait, it’s too narrow for a guitar. Something else, perhaps?”

It was heavy, and for better or worse, her curiosity was at an all time high since meeting the woodworker.

Four latches adorned one of the long edges, and opposite of that was a long hinge, so she laid it down so that the wide side was on the ground. Another flare of magic, and all four latches flipped open, and she opened the case.

What greeted her was… strange. Two objects took up most of the space, with foam acting as a cushion around them. Both were long with tubular ends, one being much larger than the other. The larger tubed object had two pieces of wood on it, one mid way, the other on the back half.

Or possibly front half, she wasn’t sure.

The other was nearly a silver color, and had wood taking up most of it, besides a black rectangle that stuck out from the center of the wood.

She rested a hoof on the black part of the first one, and found it cold to the touch. Metal, and she suspected the other was similar. So just what were these things?

“Another mystery to add to the ever building puzzle.”

She closed the case, lingered on it another moment, then placed it standing up again against a wall. She opened the closet and found a stack of small quilts right away, and grabbing one she quickly returned to the store room.

With her magic, she opened up the quilt and was about to cover the two when her hoof kicked something. Looking down, it was a strange white rectangle piece of cardstock, hollowed out, with colorful art and printing on it.

“What are you doing?”

Startled, Rarity let out a small yelp, dropping the blanket over Trixie and Thomas.

With her own flare of magic, Trixie pulled down the quilt from over her head, ignoring Thomas as she looked at Rarity.

“I’m- I’m sorry, darling. I just thought maybe you two were cold, it is a bit drafty in here, and… what are you doing?”

Trixie pulled the blanket from her muzzle. “Sniffing it. Wanted to make sure it wasn’t the one you two slept on.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Please, like I’d be so rude.”

“Well, it’s something Trixie would do.”

Rarity opened her mouth to remark, but stopped, and instead looked away.

“Wow, is that compassion Trixie sees? Or self control?”

“Both,” Rarity growled.

Trixie smiled. “Well, Trixie thanks you for the thought, but she was about to get up anyway. Trixie can only take the smell of sex for so long before it becomes unpleasant.”

“When it is not her own?”

Ignoring the remark and with a kick of her hooves, the blanket was sent flying from both Trixie and Thomas, the latter not even noticing as he continued to snooze away.

“Quite the heavy sleeper isn’t he, hm?”

Trixie jumped from the chair, causing it to rock back and forth, and still Thomas didn’t react, only kicking one of his legs out and smacking his lips.

“Princess Celestia herself could smother him with her big flanks and he’d still sleep through it.”

Rarity let out an unlady like snort of laughter, and Trixie smiled.

“At least you have some sort of funny bone in there.”

“No, I shouldn’t laugh at something like that. I know the Princess personally!”

Trixie raised a brow.

“What?” Rarity raised a hoof to her chest. “One does not make fun of those she sees as a dear friend.”

“Of course not, yet sex with a stranger is on the table of things you will do.”

Rarity’s smile faltered, and before she could speak Trixie turned to walk away.

“Trixie, wait.”

“There is nothing you can say to me that I don’t already know, so don’t flatter yourself with an apology, or dare insult me with whatever else you could think up.”

Rarity was quick to follow the mare outside of the room, then down the stairs towards the Employee only door, watching as the magician’s tail gave a flick with each step. Entering the shop proper, Trixie opened a simple wooden door to reveal a small bathroom.

“Trixie suggests you get cleaned up first.”

Rarity raised a brow.

“You stink.”

Shaking her head, Rarity began walking inside. “Such a flatterer.”

“Anything to get rid of the smell. Trixie can wait.”

“We could help each other bathe, you know. Help speed things up.”

Trixie let out a loud guffaw of laughter, and with a shake of her head marched away. “Just don’t take too long. Trixie is sure your friends will be here shortly.”

Rarity watched the mare go, an unsure look upon her face, and an uneasy feeling in her barrel. With hesitation, she closed the door, and began running the bath water.

Trixie marched back up the stairs, hesitating at the doorway leading to Thomas’ bedroom. The smell still lingered, but with a curious glance, she noticed the bed had been made.

“A Hagity thing, perhaps. After a romp, she cleans up.”

The last time she and Thomas had… shared a moment, they’d broken the headboard of his bed. With an amused smile, she could still see her teeth marks.

“A reminder for the fool.”

Continuing her walk, she entered the storage room again, and the blue glow of the screen drew her in. Her memory was a tad hazy, but she remembered the important parts of the film he’d shared with her. A first, and here I thought he was all out of surprises.

She looked at the human, and slowly her frown shifted from forced to natural. What he had shown her last night… it was a very vulnerable moment for him, and she still struggled with the idea of Thomas crying to be a real thing. But he did, and she had, and she’d seen the footage of a happier time, with family and friends.

She had known how things ended thanks to the voice box. Now, with the added motion picture box, she knew how things began.

How he could just cast it all aside for a one night stand was beyond her. Back on his home world, with her in years past, and now last night with the white mare.

“What do I care about anyway? Not like I have anything towards him.”

There was a sudden knocking of wood from downstairs, and rolling her eyes Trixie already knew what was about to happen. She turned to leave, but then saw Thomas let out a shudder. The quilt Rarity had brought in lay in a pile beside him.

“Idiot,” she mumbled, and began walking away.

A few seconds later, a light blue glow tugged at the corner of the blanket and haphazardly covered the mostly naked man, who’s thank you was a long, drawn out passage of gas.

As Rarity dried her mane and tail, she’d heard a ruckus from outside the door, possibly in the sales room of Mister Baker’s shop. She had a pretty good guess as to what, or whom, it could be, and when the bathroom door started rattling with a familiar hard knock, she knew this was only the beginning.

“I’ll be out in a moment, darling!”

“See! Trixie told you she was in there,” the magician’s voice rang out.

“How long ‘as she been in there?” Applejack’s voice was next.

“How does Trixie know? She does not keep track of the hag!”

Another knock. “Rarity! Get on out here, we have to have a talk.”

The way she said talk left Rarity with a shudder down her spine, like she had been caught by Granny Smith in Big Macintosh’s room. With Big Macintosh.

“Some things Applejack must never know.”

She didn’t have the time to properly dry her mane and tail. She gave herself a quick pat down with a clean towel she exited the bathroom, and found herself surrounded by her four friends: Trixie, and a very irate Applejack, who she would consider a friend on normal times.

Right now, Applejack stood outside the bathroom door like her mother had after her high school prom.

Disappointed.

“Now Applejack, really, must you be so rude? My mane and tail need time to dry still, and you’re out here banging on the door like a savage! Have you any manners?”

“Manners!? Try morals, and get back with me!”

“What are you suggesting?” Rarity said evenly.

“How could you go off and just screw a man like Thomas Baker?”

“Oh, so just to be clear, this isn’t a species thing, this is a character thing?” asked Trixie.

“Exactly!” Applejack looked to the light blue unicorn. “You ‘nd Thomas I can get, but Rarity!?” Applejack pointed at her friend.

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” both Rarity and Trixie shouted at once.

“It’s easy to tell that Trixie and Thomas have gone at it, and yet you go and claim him too? Girl, what’s gotten into you?”

With a huff, Rarity pushed past her friends and walked into the store, Trixie following close behind, nose up.

“Now you get back here!” Applejack charged after them.

The other four mares slowly followed in stunned silence, although Rainbow was grinning ear to ear.

Applejack stormed into the store, but noticed the immediate lack of her white friend. Hearing a polite cough, she turned to her left and saw Rarity sitting against the wall. The unicorn was using a combination of her magic and hooves to air out her hair, and a comb brush procured from the unknown was working on her tail.

“Darling, why ever are you having such a fuss over a little thing such as sex? Just because you decided to wait until marriage does not mean other ponies have to as well.”

Flushed red, Applejack shook her head. “Don’t go tryin’ ta change the topic!”

“Wait, Applejack’s a virgin?” Rainbow asked aloud, and was promptly hushed by Fluttershy’s wings.

Ignoring the outburst, Applejack pressed on. “And besides, you know that’s not what I mean! It’s clear as day, we all see it, hay I know you do!”

“See what?”

“Well… you know…”

“No, darling, I do not, that’s why I’m asking.”

Applejack looked over to a skeptical-looking Trixie, then quickly stepped to Rarity to whisper in her ear.

Rarity’s eyes went big. “No!”

“Yes!” Applejack said louder.

Rarity raised a hoof to her forehead, mock fainting as she cried out, “Oh how foolish of a mare I’ve been! Blinded by lust, my own carnal desires blinding me to the truth!”

Then like a light switch, Rarity brought her hoof back to the floor with a clop, and gave Applejack a very even stare. “What do you take me for, a fool?”

Applejack innocently blinked.

Thomas Baker woke up with a splitting headache, a slight cramp in his left leg, itchy balls, and strangely warm. When he forced his eyes open, a blue light glared at him, causing him to squint at the television screen.

“The Hell?” he mused out loud, then realizing he was on the floor, began to sit up, tossing the quilt away.

The previous night was mostly a blur, but there were still fragments that came out clear. Reaching over to turn off the television, he spared a glance around the room, searching for anything significant to hint him of his late night activities. There was a pang of guilt when he noticed the discarded Polaroid VHS sleeve.

“I should know better. A mare like Trixie wouldn’t understand. After sex she’d always…”

And suddenly, a stray thought halted his line of thinking. He looked down at his nearly naked self, then to the traces of light blue fur on the recliner. Resting his hand on the seat, he was surprised to find a hint of warmth still lingered. If she slept here, then who…?

Then it hit him, and his eyes widened with realization.

“Oh shit, I shagged a national hero.”

With a defeated sigh, he grabbed the quilt, wrapped up in the warmth, and began his slow walk of shame out into the hall. He contemplated entering his room to change underwear, and possibly put on clothes, but the smell was abundantly clear and it made his head swim. So instead he continued along and down the stairs, following the several female voices as they talked back and forth.

“No shouting or breaking furniture, so that’s a good sign.”

He crept down the stairs as silently as he could, and then looked out, hugging the wall.

Rarity was sitting under his chalkboard, trying not to push herself against it, as her five friends all gave her disappointing looks. Even Trixie wasn’t smiling, and for some strange reason that errant thought left Thomas confused.

“Does she feel sorry for her?”

With a sigh, he stepped out and towards the stove. None of the mares seemed to take notice as they continued to belittle the white mare.

“We were both consenting adults, Applejack, really. I’m scared of what you’ll say or do when Applebloom finds a stallion,” Rarity said, on the defensive.

“Don’t you dare say such things! She will be a filly forever, and never have to touch a boy.”

Rainbow shrugged. “I dunno, I’ve seen her hanging out with Rumble here and there.”

“Rumble? Thunderlane’s little brother?” Applejack blinked. “I guess I’ma have to go find Papa’s gelding irons.”

Thomas made the mistake of releasing a snicker as he began preparing coffee to brew. All at once, he felt seven sets of eyes bore into the back of his skull. He attempted to adjust the blanket so it hugged around his neck, but it did little to comfort him.

“I can’t believe you!”

It was Applejack who spoke first, and he could hear the harder than necessary hoof steps come towards him.

“Do you have any morals? Any at all?”

Thomas turned around to face the irate orange mare. Then he flicked a finger towards Trixie.

“For the record, the fact that me and Trixie have gone at it a few times? No, nor should you all be very surprised.”

“Thomas! How dare you say such things!”

It was everypony else’s turn to be surprised when all eyes refocused on Rarity.

“While I know our… unusual fling might leave an awful taste in one’s mouth, you shouldn’t dismiss a mare like that.”

“Hey, I probably don’t taste that bad,” argued Thomas.

“Oh. My. Celestia,” Twilight said with an exaggerated smack of her face.

“Thomas, hush darling, I have something I need to say, and I’m going to say it now that my friends have spoken their piece.”

“No we haven’t,” Applejack shot back.

“Well, enough of their piece that is.” Rarity brushed herself off with a hoof, adjusted her still drying mane, and stood tall and proud. “I have a very good reason for last night’s activities, and you should all understand them well.”

“This should be good,” Rainbow said, accompanied with eye rolling.

“I was quite horny.”

Everyone blinked at the same time.

“Honestly, I would have just said drunk, but that’s as good of a reason as any,” Thomas said with a shrug, which caused the quilt to fall to the floor, revealing his nearly naked self.

Pinkie Pie was quick to cover Fluttershy’s eyes, while everypony else stared in awe.

“He’s… so….”

“Hah!” Rainbow laughed. “He’s got a beer gut!”

“Hey, I do not!” Thomas grabbed at his stomach, only to recoil with horror at the bit of flab his hands latched onto. “Oh no. My masculinity!” Thomas fake cried, then with a dour expression turned around to pour a cup of coffee, then took a seat in his chair, kicking his bare feet up onto the table.

Taking a long sip, he sighed, then looked at the ponies again.

“Huh, déjà vu.”

“So that was it then? Just a quick romp, nothin’ else to it?”

Rarity rolled her eyes at her cowpony friend. “Applejack, darling, please calm yourself. There was nothing to it. I had a particular… itch.”

“Not from me, anyway,” Thomas mumbled loudly.

Both Rainbow and Pinkie let out a snicker, while Fluttershy’s ears continued to be red with embarrassment, and her eyes still covered by the baker’s hooves.

“Besides,” Thomas continued, “this isn’t any of your business. Hell, not even Trixie’s, all things considered.”

Trixie let out a huff.

Applejack looked to the blue unicorn. “Well by how you two were walkin’ after him, I expected ya to join ‘em.”

“Puh-lease, Trixie does not share with other mares. She is a solo act” -after a moment- “Trixie admits that sounded better in her head.”

“Ya think?” Applejack said.

“So what, did we just all wake up early, storm into Thomas’ shop, had a collective moment of disappointment that one of our friends screwed an alien, all for nothing?”

Everypony looked to the outspoken Rainbow Dash, then Rarity, with the white mare shrugging.

“It would appear so.”

Groaning, Rainbow rubbed her forehead. “I hate this stupid place.”

“Then leave,” Thomas said.

“Well, actually, now we can’t.”

Everypony looked to Twilight.

“Not that what we’ve all seen here isn’t conclusive enough, we still have a few more days, and I got a letter this morning that Spike was on his way.”

“Ooooh, my little Spikey Wikey! But wait, whatever for?”

“He was going to return to Ponyville, but found out we all came out here so wanted to join us. I’m having… second thoughts about it, but it’s too late now. If my calculations are correct, he should be here sometime this afternoon.”

“Well then while you’re at it, you can all hop on the train with him and beat it.”

Twilight let out a sigh. “Thomas, respectably, I understand you don’t like us here.”

“Except Rarity!” Pinkie cheered.

“But we have a job to do, and you’re… well…”

Thomas lifted a hand and began counting. “Handsome, intelligent, amazing in bed-”

Both Trixie and Rarity let slip a mocking laugh, then both looked at each other with blushes.

“-skilled at what I do, and above all else an alien, yeah, I can understand wanting a go at me, but really I’m tired and still very hungover.”

Twilight blinked, staring at the human, as the tips of her mane and tail began to smoke.

“Uh oh,” said everypony else, including Trixie.

Swift Delivery hummed to himself as he lazily flapped along just above the dirt path, only stopping to touch the ground outside of Thomas’ shop. He put his face into his mail pouch, pulling out a couple of letters, and was about to walk up the steps when the door burst open and a nearly naked human crashed into him.

Mail was scattered everywhere, and Swift found himself under the human in a very compromising position. It was only natural for the lanky stallion to scream like a little filly.

All seven mares stepped onto the porch, looking down at the flailing pegasus while Thomas tried to stand.

Twilight Sparkle, for her part, had some distance between herself and the others, as her mane and tail still smoked.

“Really, Trixie can’t believe he said that to Twilight, of all ponies.”

And suddenly, the fire went out and the princess looked on in confusion. “Hey, what does that mean?”

“Trixie is just saying that she finds it appalling the low life could blatantly flirt with you not twenty four hours after already screwing one of your friends.”

“It was a joke!” Thomas cried, laying on his back in the dirt, nursing his chest where a set of horse shoe rings marked a bruise.

Swift stuck to his namesake, quickly dropping the two letters onto Thomas’ bare chest, and made a hasty retreat.

“Um, can somepony please remove Pinkie’s hooves? I still don’t know what’s going on,” asked Fluttershy.

Trixie chose the moment to walk down the steps, and paused at the human. “Serves you right.” And then she marched towards Sunny Side’s to start her morning shift.

Slowly, one by one, the rest of the mane six made their departure, all giving pause next to Thomas with a shake of their head, save for Twilight who also added a rushed apology in before trotting after her friends.

Thomas continued to stare upward at the sky, watching a lone cloud drift in the blue expanse, half naked in the middle of the road.

Sheriff Copper Top’s face suddenly blocked out the sunlight, casting a frown down at the human.

“You just couldn’t keep it in your pants, could you?”

“I’m not wearing any pants.”

“Well ain’t that obvious.”

“For the record, she wanted it as well as me. We were also pretty drunk.”

“You’re always pretty drunk.”

“I take offense to that. I’m usually drunk.”

Next it was Bob’s face to enter Thomas’ vision, his head bandage gone.

“Oh not you too, Bob.”

The changeling gave a single nod.

“Look, you’re married, so you’re legally obligated to only have one girl to screw. I’m divorced, a bachelor, lost in an alien world. It’s my civic duty as a human male to fuck anything that is warm, pink on the inside, and can talk.”

Next Mayor Billfold’s face entered the picture. “Really, Thomas, have you no morals?”

Thomas slapped his forehead, sending his letters flying.

“I just don’t get why you’re all making such a big deal out of this.”

“Because,” Sunny Side’s face completed the picture above Thomas, “we all know what’s really up in that noggin’ of yours, Tom. You’re just too dense of an idiot to accept it.

“Also, please button up your boxers. Your junk is hanging out, and it’s just… sad.”

Thomas sighed, and did as asked.

Six mares of varying attitudes stood on the small platform that was the unloading dock for Nowhere, and in extension, Oasis. They could see the train for miles, and were all eager to see their favorite little drake.

“Do you think he had a good time in the Crystal Empire?” asked Fluttershy.

“Well duh! He’s Spike the Brave and Glorious! He was probably showered in gemstones and treated like a prince!” Pinkie said with multiple bounces in place.

“Yes, I suppose so. I still worry for him, all alone like that.”

Twilight wrapped a wing around Rarity, drawing her into a hug. “Me too, but he’s grown so much. We… I need to give him space from time to time.”

They continued with silence as they watched the train approach, however a pony in the engine was eagerly waving his hooves at them.

“That’s weird,” Applejack voiced.

Twilight nodded, spreading her wings and took off down the tracks. All of her friends watched as she flew alongside the engine, occasionally wobbling in the air as the stallion talked to her. Suddenly they could see Twilight recoil, and fly back towards them with speed.

She landed on the platform with a skid, nearly topling if Rainbow hadn’t anticipated and caught her.

“Easy there, what’s going on?”

Twilight gasped for breath. “The engineer says the last car and the caboose on the train came disconnected, they’re back a good ten or so miles. Nopony noticed until they were so far away, and they couldn’t go back. He knew we were here, and figured we’d be waiting.”

“That’s lucky,” Applejack said.

“Extremely. Come on, girls, let's go!”

“Won’t it take us forever? You’ve got wings, maybe the three of you should go ahead? We’ll go back to town for help?” Rarity asked.

“Ahem.”

All six mares looked behind them at the coach, and the pony hitched to the front.

“Road Rage? Aren’t you, like, in trouble or something?” Asked Rainbow.

“Eh, Mayor gets his tie-in a bunch once in a while. You just gotta know how to deal with him. Now, sounds like you mares need to get somewhere in a hurry?”

Road Rage kept to his promise, stomping his hooves into the dust covered ground with breakneck speed that even impressed Rainbow Dash for a stallion of his small size.

They found the passenger car and caboose still together, looking relatively intact.

The six mares climbed out, approaching with caution and worry. Twilight’s horn glowed, spells forming just in case, as Rarity used her own magic to open the door. Carefully, Twilight entered first, hesitantly stepping up and into the car propper.

“Spike? Spiiiiike?” she called out.

The car was completely empty. A few cases of luggage still rested in the upper case rails, but nothing seemed to be disturbed. A search of the car showed nothing else worth noting. They even found Spike’s carry case, attached to a Royal Guard’s station trunk with the name Top, Gilded painted on top.

“I think that’s Copper’s son, ain’t it?” Applejack asked.

“Yes.” Twilight lifted the luggage, inspecting it. “It doesn’t seem to have been messed with.”

“How odd.”

Everypony looked to Rarity, who was, of all things, snooping into the rest of the luggage.

“What is it, Rares?” Applejack approached.

Rarity pointed to the open suitcase in front of her. “Look, this one, as well as almost all the other luggage cases, are just… empty.”

“Empty? What, ponies steal out of them?”

Rarity shook her head. “No, look in the corners. They’re… moldy. Old, like they have been sitting abandoned for ages. All except for this one, and you can tell it was a mare’s.”

One case held several summer dresses, make up, and a small thermos.

“That is odd. You’d think they’d take the thermos if they were gonna go walking for help.”

“Or a mare to take a sun hat.” Rarity floated out the clothing, inspecting it. “Calvin Klop. Not a cheap hat by any means.”

Rainbow scratched her mane. “So, what, everypony on board just… disappeared? Taking most of their stuff out of their suitcases, leaving a few, and what? Started walking?”

“Any sensible pony would’a followed the tracks,” Applejack pointed out. “Twi, I don’t like this.”

“Neither do I. However, I don’t see anything else worth noting here. Come on, let's take these three cases and go back to Oasis. We need to send Princess Celestia a letter.”

All six mares disembarked, noticing Road Rage was unhooked and inspecting the forward coupling of the car.

“Did you girls find anything?”

Most shook their heads. Twilight levitated the three cases. “All of the luggage on board, save for a mare’s case, my assistant Spike’s bag, and a guard’s trunk. Gilded Top, that’s the sheriff’s son, correct?”

Road Rage flinched, nodding gently. “Yeah, that’s not good.” He then turned to point at the coupling. “Some… thing went and melted the latch on the coupling. This was deliberate.”

“Some thing?” asked Rarity.

“Well, usually we see this kinda thing from changelings, but they’re not so smart as to clean up after themselves. Last time this happened, oh, five years ago, the train car was a mess and their green goo was all over.

“This is too clean.”

“Changelings? Are you sure?”

Road Rage huffed a laugh. “We got Bob, what other proof ya want?”

“That’s not good.”

“Ooooh, my poor Spikey Wikey!”

“Rest easy, Rares. He’s a big boy. He’ll handle himself fine. Plus he’s got a guard with ‘im. We just need some leads.”

“Would Bob know anything? About den locations, and such?” Twilight asked.

Rage scratched at his mane. “Dunno. I remember somethin’ about the last time a buncha ponies went to Bob’s old den, it was abandoned.”

“Alright. We need to get back to Oasis. Somepony has to know how to start looking.”

"They ain't here, and there ain't no point in us sticking around here neither," Applejack said, glancing at and cursing herself for blowing up at her for a stupid one night stand when something like this could happen.

"Right, we'll... we'll..." Twilight said, taking deep breaths in an attempt to stay calm. "We'll go back to town, and tell the train engineers to take a message to Nowhere. There's a guard post there."

Twilight didn't feel in control, but she at least managed to give off enough of an impression to rally Rarity and Fluttershy, who seemed the most struck by this besides herself, to rally and start acting.

They threw the bags onto the top rack of the coach, and looked back at the abandoned cars, helpless worry poisoning their nerves.

When it came to the settlement of Oasis, there were a lot of ponies who just hid in the background. After all, most were there to get away from their past, or start crafting the building blocks of a new future. They didn’t always want to be noticed, or called over whenever something weird was going on. Parties held at Sunny Side’s Inn and Breakfast usually helped loosen some of these ponies up, and they’d be a little more friendly next week.

Chatty, even.

There was a sizable group of ponies currently standing around the bar, watching their resident human, still only in his boxers, trying to nurse a home-styled hangover cure, while ignoring all the eyes staring at him.

After all, bets were on how much of the vile stuff he could actually drink. Buy in was 2 bits.

Thomas’ head rested against the warm wood of the counter, polished after a rowdy night of debauchery and many spilled drinks. If this were a perfect world, he’d much rather rest his face upon stainless steel, to help cool and alleviate his pounding head. There would also be no audience, besides maybe the mortician as they made his dead body look presentable.

“I hate you all.” And he took another drink.

Sunny drew a line through one of the betting amounts written on the Special of the Day chalkboard, now repurposed for the betting pool. Sunny’s specials were so routine most ponies didn’t even need to look to know what was on the special anyway, but it did help the rare few traveling ponies, or those old folk who couldn’t even remember what day it was.

It was even rumored that some ponies liked not knowing what day it was. Or what month. Arguments would spring up from time to time about what year it really was, however whenever Thomas got involved, everything would go to shit. His calendar was off by almost a thousand years as it was.

Anymore, he was well and happy, in the shortest definition of the word, to just be ignorant to the passage of time and to have a diminishing drive to do anything that didn’t involve working, drinking, sex, or any combination of the three. Sometimes all three at once.

“There’s a saying about ponies who don’t learn from their mistakes.” Sheriff Copper Top patted Thomas’ back.

“Thank God I’m not a pony then, otherwise you’d drone on about acting my age or some other load of crap.”

“Says the one drinking distilled changeling goop to get over a hangover.”

“Once you get past the fact that this stuff comes out of one of Bob’s holes and that his wife gets a sick thrill out of watching others drink his fluids, it’s honestly worse than that.”

Sunny Side let out a huff, while Bob rubbed against his wife’s side before walking back into the kitchen.

Thomas lifted his head to take another drink, then hesitated. The ponies around him leaned in closer, nearly on the tips of their hooves. With a defeated sigh, the half empty glass was pushed away, followed by the collective sigh of most of the patrons.

Copper Top tapped the human’s shoulder once again. “There, wasn’t so bad now, was it?”

“You won the pool, didn’t you?”

He couldn’t see it, but the sheriff was grinning as he walked away to collect his winnings.

“Thieving jackass, should have just let him rot in his cell back then.”

Mayor Billfold took a seat next to the dejected Thomas. “Maybe, but then you might have never been bestowed the honor of godparent, now would you?”

“Mayor, kindly go fuck off.”

“Now now, Old Tom, we have some business to wrap up before I go make love to my wife.”

“I meant that in a figurative way, but sure.”

“Good. Now, it seems as though Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends are about wrapped up with what they came here to do.”

Flipping his head over so the right side of his face rested on the counter, Thomas looked at the mayor. “What was that again?”

“To meet our resident hero!”

“Right, and how has that gone so far?”

“Absolutely horrible.”

“I try my best, Mayor.”

“Now, before they leave, I was hoping that maybe you’d try to clean yourself up, straighten up proper, so that when they give you the Mark of Harmony award we could convince Odd Shot to get his camera out of impound and-”

Thomas cut off the stallion with a raised hand. “Hold up.” He rubbed his bleary eyes, trying to open his eyes all the way and failing. “What in Celestia’s left tit makes you think they’re even going to still give that thing to me?”

Suddenly he sat up. “Oh no, I just did a Celestiaism. I’m doomed.”

“Well they came all the way out here for you, so it would only seem right that after what you did-”

A hand wrapped around the mayor’s muzzle, silencing him.

“Look, okay, I get what you’re trying to do, and say, but honestly? I couldn’t care less.”

The mayor pushed the hand away. “But Tom, don’t you think this might be… it?”

“It?”

Mayor Billfold waved his hoof. “You know what I mean. It’s no strange thing that ponies come and go from here, but well… eventually they leave for greener pastures. Even Miss Lulamoon, although why she constantly comes back here is anypony’s guess. You’ve been here nigh ten years now. Very few of us stay that long, but of us who do, we’re… old.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “I’m old.”

“You’re forty four, you moron. You still have a lot of time for things. Me and the missus? Copper Top? Farmer Jack? We’re here for the long haul.”

“Jack’s family is buried out on his property, he wouldn’t leave.”

“And if I step hoof back in Canterlot they’ll be fishing my body out of Lake Canterhorn in an hour. Doesn’t mean that’s the only reason why we’re here. We’re old and tired, Tom.”

“What if I am too?”

The stallion shook his head, then stepped down from the stool. “You’re just blind, my boy.”

“A blind idiot, maybe,” Sunny added.

Billfold nodded. “Yes, but he’s our blind idiot, and I for one want to see him one day reach his fullest potential, not be stuck in this damnable settlement until he’s whittled himself down to a toothpick.

“Those mares, even the one you shared a night with, are here for you. This is your moment. Now I’ve been standing idly by while you make an ass of yourself, but enough is enough. They’re out of town to meet with Her Highness’s Royal Assistant. Go home, clean up, get dressed, and be presentable for their return.”

With a flick of his tail, the Mayor made to exit.

“Did you ever think maybe they’d not give me that medal?”

The mayor froze at the door, then turned his head back.

“Since the second they got here.”

“Then why did you even write that damn letter?”

Then, the pony showed a small smile. “Like it or not, as much as we tease you, we do like you, Old Tom. Rough around the edges, but as you’ve shown us all in this past decade, it’s never anything a little sandpaper can’t polish.

“And with you, we just need a lot of sandpaper. Good thing we’re out in a desert.”

With those final words, the stallion departed from the Inn.

The quiet idle chit chat of ponies around the bar was simple background noise as Thomas continued to stare at the door. Then he felt something brush against his hand on the counter top. He looked back, and Sunny Side was resting her hoof on top of his hand and smiling. He felt her frog give a little squeeze.

“We just need a lot of sandpaper.” She smiled, then left, leaving behind a glass of water.

Thomas sighed, and took a drink. “Damn ponies.”

Short Circuit wasn’t really a paranoid pony.

Well, actually yes he was, but he was a rational paranoid pony, so in his mind it was better than being irrationally paranoid. The key difference was that they usually involved a few kiloVolts and a hair dryer, but he promised the governing bodies of Nowhere that he’d never do that sort of experiment again.

So when his telegraph machine, tapped into the existing line, started going off, he twitched his clubbed hoof along when he knew what word it was already spelling out, then went quiet when he didn’t know for sure what word they were spelling out. About five words in his leg stopped, and he actually looked away from his project to watch the machine tick away.

“That’s not good.”

A message had just been sent to Nowhere. Princess Twilight Sparkle (whoever she was) just had her pet dragon foal napped, along with a royal guard and a possible unknown number of others. They were requesting guards to come to Oasis, which usually meant that two important things needed to happen.

First thing was he needed to hide all of his… less ethical experiments. He’d never called them unethical, or ethical, or any other general meaning of the expression “can it hurt you?” Everything can hurt a pony, from a harmless baseball bat to enough amps going through a limb to watch it explode into a pink mist.

For the record, that limb had been donated by a pony already dead, so it wasn’t like anypony else would be missing it.

The second thing that needed to happen was he needed to let Oasis know that something was happening, and to hide whatever they deemed unethical, which usually just meant Bob, Thomas, or a combination of the two.

So while the telegraph machine ticked away, he began packing his overnight bag, because usually by the time he’d make it to the town he’d be tired and his short leg would be bleeding from rubbing on the prosthetic.

He’d wanted to duplicate Thomas’ van in the past, but the human was adamant that he was not allowed to touch it, because while it still worked he wanted it still working, not torn apart and never to be whole again.

Just cause that one time he took apart the human’s electric coffee percolator, and now bits of it were in about five other projects. Three of those, somehow, produced coffee, but Circuit chucked that up to a “happy accident” and let it be.

As he packed, the telegraph had gone quiet, and now another message started. When the words Dust Storm Stop went over, his packing became frantic. How, or why Nowhere waited until now to report a wild sand storm was anypony’s guess. Circuit could tough it out in his shop/damn dam, but Oasis didn’t have the luxuries of such forewarning. The postal pony only came out here when he absolutely, positively, this is an emergency needed to.

This changed things.

They could last days, even weeks, depending on the severity. He might even be trapped in Oasis around… he shuddered, other ponies for more time than he cared to be around, and Thomas Baker, and that was already a minimum amount of thirty seconds.

No, maybe he could make it back in time? Just rough it out? Or he could even just leave the settlement to its own devices and not care, as was his tradition.

And then his mind went to those two strange mares, the lesbian who had to keep poking things and asking questions while being annoying. Then the rainbow pegasus who kept flapping her annoying wings everywhere when he kept telling her to stop. They were new, smelled of civilization, and apples for some reason. Actually, they both smelled like apples, but the rainbow one more like she had been rubbed all over by apples and the scent had just started to stick, while the hat one just smelled like apples as in she was simply made of the fruit.

Ponies were so strange.

The telegraph machine was quiet once more, nothing was sent back down the wire again. Possibly because the train was in a hurry, or maybe it was going to go backwards at top speed to get away from the storm.

Short Circuit shook his head. He had had to brave a couple sandstorms in the past, one of which nearly killed him had it not been for Thomas, so another reason to hate the drunkard.

Always trying to step in and be a good guy, then his true colors came out and he was just an ass.

“Stupid human. Stupid ring. Stupid advancements in technology he won’t let me play with.”

He was about done packing when the strangest sound hit his ears. It almost sounded like… a hoof, tapping on metal. Listening longer, Circuit realized the only thing it could be, which was strange in it’s own right, was that it was a knocking sound. Maybe, even perchance… a pony… outside… knocking?

“Who knocks on my chamber door?” Brow raised, he tentatively approached his entry room, where his anti-static rod sat. He tapped it with a hoof, and a bright spark shot out, which for Circuit was actually small. The attached meter promptly caught fire, a small can of retardant going off just above to smother the flames.

"Huh, usually they just explode."

Cautiously, he opened the door. Already he could tell the winds were starting up, which made him realize that his journey was already going to be horrible, never mind that he had an obligation to go.

He was so focused on the winds, he didn’t even see the three ponies standing in front of him and talking away.

“... so we wanted to make sure anypony here would be okay. Sir?”

Short Circuit blinked, which involved more of a twitch of his entire head that made it weird.

“What? Who are you? What are you doing here?”

The ponies shared a look, before the lead one cleared his throat.

“The storm is coming in, and we wanted to make sure you or anypony else here would be okay before we move on.”

“What? No, I’m alone here.”

There was an almost predatory glint in the two ponies behind the lead one.

“Really? Well, we’re inspectors from-”

The wrong word was said, because Short Circuit instantly slammed the door on the ponies face and ran for his shop. Inspectors were never a good thing, and he had so much the world didn’t understand yet! His instant baked potato machine, or his water gascolator. Working quickly, he was so rushed he didn’t even realize after covering the IT is supposed to make fire but instead makes donuts machine when he heard the clip clop of hooves.

Instantly Circuit intercepted the ponies.

“How dare you breach my inner sanctum!?”

“Sir, we are inspectors, and we need to inspect.”

“Did you ground yourselves?”

The three shared a look, the two followers shrugging, and the lead turning back with a forced smile. “Sure?”

Short Circuit grabbed a long metal rod from under a table, and poked each pony with it, and on the third one got a small spark.

“Aha! You didn’t! I knew it, I knew it, I- wait… hold on. You’re inspectors?”

The three nodded.

“Then where are your clipboards?”

“Our… what?”

“Yeah, every inspector who visited had a clipboard that they checked off things if they were Good, Bad, or Ugly. I’m striving for a Bad rank, but they always act funny when I get in their face about it or show off some of my inventions, which just keeps getting me a Good marking. Then I get new inspectors. I’m just trying to keep them away, and instead they send new ponies to see why I’m doing so well and that they never want to talk about it.

“Wait, what was I saying?”

There was silence as the three ponies watched with confusion as the broken unicorn stood still, eyes not even blinking, as he thought. Then, his instant baked potato machine dinged, the door opening with a bang and smoke poured out.

“Right! It’s quite odd, really, that three ponies would be out wandering the wastelands to check in on me.”

“Why would that be odd?” The lead stallion asked with a smile.

“Because usually they are flown in, and none of my exterior sensors went off letting me know something was coming. It’s almost like you three-”

Circuit froze instantly, eyeing the three. Then, slowly, he leaned forward and licked the face of the lead stallion.

“Oh. Crud.”