You Don't Go to Denny's...

by CryHavoc21

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2230

Denny's. A greasy hive of bacon and eggs. Stephen is working the graveyard shift, slowly letting the minutes tick by, when he gets an unusual visitor...

Denny's. A greasy hive of bacon and eggs. Stephen is working the graveyard shift, slowly letting the minutes tick by, when he gets an unusual visitor...

A little story I had the idea of most likely in the shower. Based on my seeing THIS image late at night. Because staying up to 2:30 in the morning was a good idea.

Featured 10 Feb 2015! Y'all are weird, but I like you.

By the way, I don't own Denny's logo, menu items, etc. etc. please don't sue.

Published 2015-02-11 01:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-11 01:50:01 UTC

...You End Up At Denny's.

It was late at night when this happened. The moon hung high over the city, its shining radiance cloaked the empty streets in its pale glow. I longed to be out there, able to bask in that pale glow. Unfortunately, I could not. My job prevented it. I stood behind the counter of the Denny's, surveying the empty establishment. I heaved a sigh. Tonight would be a long night on the graveyard shift. When it was finally over, I could drive home, forget my stupid job at the stupid Denny's, take a nice hot shower, and climb into the warm embrace of my bed.

My head was propped up on my wrist when I heard the bell on the door go off. “Hi, welcome to Denny's, what can I get for you--,”

I jerked up. Standing there, in the middle of the shop, was a small, colored horse. A pony, if you will. It stood maybe a meter and a half tall. It's mane flowed behind it in a cloud of dark blue sparkles that defied the still air of the Denny's. The pony's coat was a deep navy blue, and its flank depicted some kind of moon on a black sky-scape. The pony's eyes seemed cartoonishly large, giving it an almost human look. The pony appeared to be wearing some kind of...collar-type piece of armor plating, also colored dark-black with the same moon picture on it. A friend would later identify it as a “peytral plate”, which is apparently a real type of armor real life horses use. Fancy that. A pair of dark blue wings adorned the pony's sides, and a spiral-etched horn grew out of its head.

The pony looked ragged. Its mane, though flowing, had several nebulous hairs out. Her eyes had that glazed, half-asleep look that many people who came in at 2:30 in the morning had. Its muzzle was adorned with a half-frown.

“I'll take a...grand slam,” said the pony. Judging by the voice, she was female. Her accent was almost touched with some kind of medieval flair, but she hid it well.

“Oh...kay,” I replied, searching for words. I rubbed my eyes, still not quite internalizing the fact that a pony was ordering food at my restaurant. She looked liked something out of a cartoon, not the human world. “Hold on a minute.” I shook my head, then poured a cup of our strongest coffee, downing it in one gulp. A shiver crawled down my spine from the sudden bitterness. I rubbed my eyes again. The pony was still there; her head was now tilted to the side in confusion. I shrugged. Customers are customers. “One Grand Slam coming right up. Take a seat at the bar, it'll be right out.”

I put in the pony's order, letting the cooks in the back take care of things. It would be a couple of minutes until her food was done. Maybe I could figure out why there was a cartoon horse in a Denny's at 2:30 in the morning. While I was thinking, the pony took a seat at the bar, somehow positioning herself on top of a stool in almost the same way a human would. It was rather strange, but this entire endeavor was strange.

“So...” I started, not quite knowing where to go from there. “You're not from around here, are you?”

“No, I'm not. I'm just here for a bit to study your species' culture. And,” she yawned, “it was a long flight over here.”

“Which explains the late-night food run. There's a saying in my line of work: 'You don't go to Denny's, you end up at Denny's.' But hey, we got hot food and coffee. What else matters?”

“Indeed, good sir. Speaking of which,” said the pony, whose horn was encased in a deep blue glow as a notepad and quill were levitated out of her saddlebags. At this point, I had stopped questioning the new stuff. The coffee had convinced me that I wasn't hallucinating. “I was wondering if I could ask you some questions.”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“What is your name?”

“Stephen.”

The quill scribbled on the page. “A pleasure, Stephen. I am Luna.”

“Nice ta meet ya.” I stuck out a hand, then pulled it back. Being a horse, Luna would have trouble shaking hands. She appeared to not notice.

“And, what is your species called?”

That caught me off guard a bit, but I brushed it off, keeping with my new-found policy of rolling with the punches when it came to cartoon horses. “We're called humans. I don't suppose you did any preliminary research before coming here, did you?”

“Not as such, no. I find that tends to cloud the findings. My sister did inform me of a few things, like how the sun and moon are not controlled by ponies, and that these buildings with the yellow 'Denny's' signs contained hot food at all hours of the night. She comes to this world occasionally, and she was always surprised at how food could be delivered for just a few bits at any time. She even told me what to order.”

“Figures. If you want to learn more about humans, you might want to try a university, not a Denny's. I hear there's a pretty good one in town, really prestigious or something. I never got to go.”

“A shame about that, I firmly believe in the value of higher education. Perhaps you will attend someday.”

“Maybe,” I said. It had come down to money, really. I had my high school diploma and not enough money to go on to college. Hence the employment at Denny's. I always wanted to go, my grades were certainly good enough. I considered the mare's words, then pushed those thoughts aside for later. “Any other questions you think I could answer?”

“Just one.”

“Shoot.”

“What is it that I ordered?”

I hesitated. Horses are normally vegetarian, as far as I knew. I didn't even realize that she had ordered bacon and eggs with her pancakes. This might be an issue.

“Uh, let me answer your question with a question. Are you okay with eating meat?”

“Meat? On occasion. We ponies are technically omnivores, but we are unaccustomed to eating meat, as most of the meat in Equestria is from sapient creatures. She did mention that the creatures here were not, so I do not think it is a big issue. Why?”

“Well, bacon is essentially pig meat that is cut into strips. There's also hash browns, which is thinly sliced potato that is fried. It also comes with eggs, which are fried unfertilized chicken eggs. Sausage links, which is more pig meat, and last but not least, pancakes, which is batter that is shaped into a circle and fried on a flat top. An all around delicious and hearty breakfast for those up into the wee hours of the morning.”

The pony paused. As I explained, her expression changed from one of revulsion to one of acceptance. “Ah, yes, it is as we expected. That is...acceptable.”

As she said this, the cook came out with Luna's order. A plate of, as described, fried breakfast, and a cup of coffee. Luna stared at it as the plate was set down. Moments passed as Luna stared at the food and I stared at her. I wasn't quite sure what she would do at this point.

Finally, her horn once again lit up in the blue aura, and a fork levitated itself. It delicately flew over to the pancakes and cut a small bite off of the stack. A quick stab later, and the pancakes were floating over to Luna's mouth. She chewed. Her face lit up.

“Good?”

“Mm hmm...” she replied, her mouth full. Her frown at being up late turned into a smile. I grinned. I always liked having a happy customer. Even if it was a crap job, those moments of brightness on someone's dreary face were the highlight of my day.

Luna's floating fork made quick work of her breakfast. I sat there in silence, watching her. Her smile broadened as she moved onto the bacon and eggs.

Luna picked up the coffee cup in her magical levitation field and brought it to her lips. I braced for what was coming next. I had seen lots of people have their first cup of coffee. Most of those attempts did not go well.

As predicted, Luna nearly gagged on the drink. “What in the name of the Tree of Harmony is that?!?!” she demanded.

“Coffee,” I replied with a smile. “It's...an acquired taste.”

Luna stuck her tongue out. “That...is an understatement. This beverage is foul.”

I chuckled. “Maybe. Can I get you some orange juice instead?”

“Water is fine. I think it might be a while until I can trust another human drink.”

“Suit yourself.” I poured her a glass of ice water.

The rest of the pony's late night dinner passed in quiet as she eagerly devoured the rest of her dinner, if only to clean out the taste of coffee.

Soon enough, the ethereal cartoon mare finished her meal. “Thank you very much for the dinner, and the interesting conversation, Stephen the human.” She placed a couple of coins on the counter.

“Anytime. Come back if you need another late night meal.” I took a look at the coins. “Wait, what kind of coins are these?” The markings on them were all wrong. The front had some kind of stylized sun, and the reverse had a stylized moon that looked a lot like the one adorning Luna's flank.

“Bits? I do not understand. Oh! Right. That's not the currency here. Hold on a moment.” The blue aura around Luna's horn charged even brighter, and she aimed her head at the small pile of coins. A short burst of magic and a bright flash later, I reexamined the coins. They had all transformed into run-of-the-mill dollar coins. Legitimate United States currency. “Keep the change. Have a nice night, Stephen.” She waved a forehoof, and was soon gone out the door.

“Bye?” was all I managed as she was leaving. I took another look at the coins, even going so far as to bite one like they do in the movies. I had no idea what that would accomplish, since I didn't know what US coins tasted like. However, they looked the part of US coins, and they decidedly were not the coins she had first placed on the counter.

I shook my head, and poured myself a cup of coffee. I still wasn't quite sure the last thirty minutes happened. Maybe I was dreaming? That could be possible. Maybe I fell asleep at my job and dreamed of a blue horse coming in and having dinner. Maybe someone drugged my coffee.

As I was mulling over the events, the door chimed again. In walked one of my regulars, a woman who worked a late-night job, same as I did. I always liked her, though I'm not sure if she felt the same way. I always figured people didn't like cashiers at Denny's, especially not in a romantic way.

“Heya Celly, what's up on this fine night? You'll never believe the customer I just had in here.”

She took a seat at the bar. “Hey Stephen. A pleasure, as always. I'll have the usual.”

“A Grand Slam, coming right up.”

“So,” she began, “who's this strange customer you had?”

“Okay, but I promise I'm not crazy. This blue horse with a mane and tail that looked like a nebula came walking in and ordered the same thing you did! She even had a horn that could do magic and wings! It was like something out of a cartoon or a fairy tale. She was really nice, though. She really likes pancakes.”

Celly choked on her coffee. “So... that's where my sister got off to. Figures she'd forget to put on a magical disguise...”

“Wait, what? What do you mean? You're the sister she mentioned?”

“Indeed I am. Though unlike her, I wanted to be a bit more discreet in appearance when I came here. Though, I really hope you won't share this secret with anyone. It'd be a shame to have to change your memories.”

“No, that's quite alright!” I said hastily. “Anyways, it's not like anyone but you would believe me. I don't really believe it myself.”

Celly giggled. Man, I liked it when she did that. Wait, what am I saying? Never mind. Her food came out shortly, and she began to tuck in.

“So,” she asked. “What'd my sister do? I want to hear all about it. I bet it's a good story.”

“That it is, my good lady. She even tried the coffee. I don't think she'll be having much more than water for quite some time.”

“Really? That's surprising. Luna used to brew the most evil of concoctions a thousand years ago. It shares a name with a beverage here: 'Moonshine'. Though what she brewed was from the light of the moon itself, and has been known to drop a fully grown Minotaur at fifty paces.”

Author's Note

Hey thanks for reading! This is my first ever story that I've put on this site, so I'm sorry if it shows. Criticism is most certainly welcome!