Give My Regards to Bridleway

by Sebax

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Comedy
Length: 5931

The Casting Call has been called. Can fair Rarity nab the lead in an Off-Bridleway Show called "My Fair Filly"? No matter what the case, her friends will be right there to support her as they stay in Manehatten.

Getting a letter from Coco Pommel in Manehatten, Rarity receives the opportunity to audition for an Off-Bridleway production. With a particular part in mind, and the support of her friends, she dares to take on professional theatre.

This story is written in the format of a normal series episode you might find on the actual show. It may deviate here and there, but mostly in verbosity.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-19 11:43:21 UTC

Last Minute Call

T he afternoon sun shone through the windows and made gemstones on displayed dresses sparkle. An amorphous baby blue blob of glittering magic held a note in mid-air. Rarity read its contents aloud in the showroom of her dress store to her five friends, with elation and pride etched in every syllable she read.

"My dear Rarity" - She started - "It is my great pleasure to offer you and your friends the opportunity to audition for a revival of an old Bridleway show. The show, however, will be Off-Bridledway. I spoke of you six to the director I'm currently working for, and she said explicitly to get you to Manehatten as soon as possible. No guarantees, but she's looking specifically for fresh talents. The show is called "My Fair Pony" and I've attached the dramatis personae with the letter. Some parts have already been cast, but we are in great need of crew as well. I hope to see you at the attached address on the posted date. With Love, Coco Pommel."

Fluttershy smiled a meek grin. "That's wonderful, Rarity. Who are you taking with you?" she whispered, per her usual tone.

"Why, you five of course," Rarity said off the cuff as she put the letter down to raise the character list. No one noticed that Fluttershy squeaked and started to shake, because Rainbow Dash took flight at the same time.

"She must have caught my awesome performance as Commander Hurricane!" she said haughtily.

"Rainbow, you did that for one show only, and before we met Coco," Twilight Sparkle reasoned.

"Well, maybe someone else saw it and told her about it." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and crossed her forearms. "I stick in a pony's memory like that."

"W-we don't have to audition, d-do we?" Flutteshy stuttered.

"Of course not, darling. But I'm leaving no pony behind!" She flipped the sheet around using her magic to show Fluttershy the dramatis personae. "I need moral support if I'm going to win the part of Eliza. She speaks to me, absolutely speaks to me!" She swooned while Fluttershy read. "It's irrelevant that she just so happens to be the lead role."

"It looks like something you could do. Good luck, Rarity." Fluttershy calmed down a bit and resumed her weak grinning.

"No, no, no, no, no, Fluttershy!" Rarity broke into a sputtering mania. Fluttershy meeped again when Rarity drew in so close their eyes were almost touching. Rarity stared her down in panic. "Saying "Good Luck" is frowned upon in the theatrical community! It's sure to end in disaster unless you say "Crack a hoof" in its place," she explained, taking a few steps back.

"Crack a hoof?" Fluttershy said in a way that was well-wishing, but confused about the tradition.

"I cracked a hoof one time, and I'd never wish that on anybody!" Pinkie Pie interjected.

"Pinkie, darling, the hoof is more of an Irony thing," Rarity further explained.

"Irony? If your hooves are iron-y, how would they crack?" Pinkie asked while Applejack shook her head low.

"I dun got it, Rar'dee. Crack a hoof, sugar cube." She patted Rarity on the back and smiled. "Can't say I'd go fer anythin' on that there sheet either though."

"Can I bring Spike along?" Twilight asked.

"Why, of course! Naturally," Rarity said. "Erm, Why didn't he come along in the first place?"

Twilight giggled. "He slept in. I was running late, so I didn't wake him. He stayed up all last night and is having a bit of a lazy bum day."

"Late?! You mean that you were almost five minutes away from being fifteen minutes early?" Pinkie joked.

"Yes." Twilight nodded astute, not even rustling a wing feather or batting an eye. Punctuality was no joke.

"Oh." Pinkie sat down on her hindquarters. She accepted her joke had gone right over her friend's head with a sigh. Twilight stifled a giggle behind a hoof; she'd gotten the joke. Pinkie heard the giggling, and stood up giggling herself.

"Hey, Rarity, these auditions are tomorrow. Do you know that?" Rainbow Dash asked, hovering and holding the letter in her hooves. "Not that I was interested in auditioning or anything!" she defended herself badly.

"Yes, not to worry. There's a train leaving for Manehatten later this evening. I only just got the letter this morning, and the postpony said it had gotten lost at the post office. I'm so sorry to ask this of you last minute, but do you think you could be packed by tonight?"

"Tonight?!" Twilight's jaw dropped a good deal. She zoomed out as fast as her wings would take her, leaving the shop door flapping after her exit.

"I do hope that was a yes..." Rarity said with apprehension.

"Uhhhh, I'm with ya, Rarity." Rainbow Dash planted her hooves on the ground. The remaining four smiled and huddled together.

"Me too, Rar'dee," Applejack assured. "An' if ye get a part, any part ate all, you can be darn sure you'll see th' whole Apple Family there ta cheer you on."

"I can, if I can get someone to watch Angel while I'm away." Fluttershy nodded. "I think I can."

"I wanna try the whole "Audition" thing, but don't worry, I won't go for the part you want. I just want to make whoever's watching us laugh." Pinkie Pie snerked.

"Thank you so much, everypony." Rarity beamed. Her smile turned to panic in a flash."Oh! Now, please, please pack what you can, as soon as you can! I don't want to hold you up. The train leaves at precisely eight o'clock. Opal! Where are you, Opal?" Rarity dashed off upstairs. The others dashed off outside.

◊◊◊

In the Orchards of Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack rushed to Big Macintosh just as he kicked a bushel of apples from a tree. It was mid-late Afternoon, and Applejack lost enough time getting home.

"Big Mac, could you go an' tell Granny an' Apple Bloom that I'maheaddin' ta Manehatten to help Rar'dee get herself inta a big ole Off-Bridleway preducshin?" she said with haste, huffing after her long run.

"Eeeyup," Big Macintosh plodded, nodded, and Applejack thanked him as she raced off to the house.

At Fluttershy's home, there was an unhappy bunny.

"Yes, Angel, I understand you'd like to see Bridleway, but Manehatten is no place for a small, little bunny to go." Fluttershy pleaded with her bunny, tired from a lengthy discussion. "I'm sure you understand...right?" Angel was having none of it. "Angel, this is where I put my hoof down," Fluttershy said, putting the 'timid' in 'intimidation'. She put her hoof down no more forcefully than she normally did to walk. Angel still was not moved. "Fine...you can come too..." Fluttershy hung her head, giving into the demanding bunny. Angel revived and ran off to get packed, followed by a broken pony.

Outside, by the town square, Rainbow Dash lounged on a cloud. She'd packed a toothbrush, a camera, and that was all she figured she needed. The sun was setting, nearing 7:42 PM. In twelve minutes, she'd head for the train station...maybe. She yawned and stretched. Maybe she'd bring Tank too, if she could remember where he'd gone.

Pinkie Pie had overdone it. The Cakes, Carrot and Cup, didn't know what to think as she lugged an overstuffed suitcase through their bakery door. She tipped towards the cake displays, but she managed to squeeze through the door. Pinkie was straining under the weight of things she didn't need. She looked like a tiny pink tortoise with a giant brown shell, struggling to walk.

Carrot Cake hollered when he spotted Gummy the alligator sitting atop his counter when he hadn't been there a moment before. He jumped, shaking, into his wife's arms. Cup Cake just rolled her eyes. It looked to her like they were taking care of the twin Cakes and Gummy. On short notice.

Twilight Sparkle, at her library/home, waking up Spike was an impossible task. She'd tried everything, and it was already 7:50 PM. She was late for being early! She'd packed the necessities, and was ready to go, but Spike was just snoozing along in his bed.

"Spike! I can't leave you behind," Twilight shouted. Nothing. Then, she had an idea. An idea that lifted the worried look from her face and replaced it with a careless grin. "Rarity wants you to be there," she sang-whispered down by the tiny dragon. It produced the exact result she was hoping for...for a moment. Spike jumped up and darted out the door. It broke with a crash, leaving Spike's outline in the wooden portal to let the outside world in. "Wait, Spike, no, we have to go to the train station! SPIIIIIIIKE!" Twilight broke off into a gait, weighted down by her suitcase." She closed the front door behind her, bypassing that it was a much less useful door than before.

At the train station, Rarity breathed a sigh of relief when she saw each of her friends there at 7:55 PM. The sun had set, the train had pulled into the station, and Spike was helping her with her bags. After everyone had loaded up onto the train, its whistle blew to signal a ready departure. When the group had gone to their cabins and settled in, Rarity brushed Opal with a brush that she floated towards the cat. She hummed a few bars of "Loverly" while she brushed, before getting tired and retiring to bed. She was still humming as she shut her eyes and Opal rested on top of the bed-sheets in a ball.

"Oh, wouldn't...it...be loverly..." She yawned, and drifted off to sleep as the train rattled on.

Pen Station News

M anehatten's Pen Station put Ponyville's station to sheer shame. The train pulled to a stop in the midst of luxury and a capacious design. It's vast storage of space bustled with strings of ponies from every clop of life. There was little wiggle room while Pinkie Pie tested how fast she could manage through the crowd, but she managed to do her fair share of wiggling throughout. By the train, Rarity praised Spike's superb luggage-handling skills.

"We're off the train now. You may put them down anywhere you like, Spikey."

Spike subsisted so much on pet names bestowed by Rarity that he did not notice Applejack's approach. He just stood in place while Applejack bucked a trolley into place and loaded the luggage herself.

"Looks like we're here, Rar'dee. All in one piece too," Applejack stated proudly.

"Ha! I remember being that hopeful," a random voice piped from the bypassing hive of hooves. It spoke, and the speaker was gone on their way. "You mooks oughtta just go back home now, nobody'll wancha here."

"Oooookaaaaaay?" Applejack peered around for the pony with no luck.

"It's always a pleasure to hit the big city. And this time..." Rarity sighed. "Just think! I could be in a real, live Bridleway hit, and very, very soon!"

"Uh, I thought it was an Off-Bridleway play?" Twilight raised a brow.

"Tut, tut, Twilight. Eyes on the prize. Eyes on the prize, darling." Rarity put her hoove firm on the tiles. "Failure is not an option, everypony."

Her friends cheered her on -- save for Pinkie, who had found a shawarma cart -- with enthusiasm. Spike leaned on the luggage trolley and tried to look cool. It failed in the most miserable fashion.

"You got it in the bag, Rar- Woa!" Spike pushed the cart, on accident, and he landed on the ground. The cart itself bumped into the flank of a nearby fellow arrival.

"Yes? Oh." A navvy blue pony turned around to see the cart.

"Oh my goodness! I am so, soo sorry!" Fluttershy apologized wholeheartedly for something she was not responsible for. She struggled to pull back the loaded trolley, but needed help from Rainbow Dash to make it budge. "Are you, okay, sir?"

"I take it you're not local." The stranger turned around and chuckled. "It's fine. I've spent enough time in this city to give up on personal space being a priority. Wow, actually, that sounded really depressing. I think I'm actually more worried about you. Breathe. In. Out." He demonstrated, speaking to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy took the prompt and took deep breaths. Spike stepped in, twiddling his claws.

"Well, I mean, that was my fault, so I should probably apologize. Not Fluttershy."

"No, really, I'm okay." The stranger shook his head of long, black hair. "You know what? Sebaleon." He offered his hoof towards Spike. "I'm Sebaleon, and you all?" He seemed to figure the ponies patting Fluttershy on the back were together. Spike took the hoof for a mutual shake. Sebaleon grinned, and Spike lightened up.

"Hey. I'm Spike."

"I'm Rainbow Dash." Rainbow took to her wings with a brash tone in her voice. "This is bundle of nerves is Fluttershy, this is Applejack, Twilight, and Rarity." She indicated each while hovering over them. "Hey! Where's Pink- Oof!" Rainbow crashed down on Rarity when a muffled, robotic voice caught her off guard. "What was that?!"

"That would be the PA system. Public Address. It's notoriously hard to understand, but I catch it. Just noting, but, the memo was: No flying in the station, please." He grinned, helping Rainbow off of Rarity and helping them both to their hooves. "I'm sure it was directed out generally," he said with humor, almost with sarcasm.

Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie was enjoying a carrot-filled shawarma in a distant sector of the station.

"Everyone has to have one of these!" Pinkie bubbled over with eagerness fueled by wares from a shiny metal cart. "Hang on, I'm going to go get my friends. Be right back, don't move!" Pinkie dashed off, leaving a happy Saddle Arabian immigrant behind.

At the same time, Rarity was at a loss for words. She just gawked at Sebaleon and stammered.

"You, y-you're thuh... thuh... thuhhhhhh..." Her jaw hung open in awe while her eyes sparkled.

"Sebaleon!" a familiar voice cried out from the crowd. Coco Pommel pushed her way towards the group, gasping for air by the time she reached them. "Oh! And it's wonderful to see you too! Hi." She noticed the group from Ponyville and nodded. "I take it you got my letter. Good to see you all."

"Na waida apple pickin' minute!" Applejack stepped in. "Good ta see you too, Coco, buh why's Rar'dee dun gone all loopy?"

"Because he's Sebaleon!" Rarity regained her senses, but still bubbled over with thespian verve. "Oh, well, you must be coming straight from Canterlot, is that right? I've heard so much about you. He performs regularly for the Royal family and the highest nobility of Canterlot. With a Bridleway history beside that, he's one of the premier thespian ponies in all of Equestria."

Sebaleon shook his head with humility. He stepped forward and bowed with the cordiality of a Gentlecolt. He only spoke when he returned to full stature.

"You are right. I am found out, Coco. Alert the press: Royal Theatre performer Sebaleon returns to Bridleway."He laughed. "Please, please don't do that. I'd like a little breathing time before the fans and toadies make their appearances. No offense. I love having a following, and appreciate the recall, but try to keep it to a dull roar until I can find at least a dozen possible quick exits. When they hunt in packs, they're relentless. And they often give me more credit than I'm worth," he heaved the emphasis towards Rarity.

"Note made, your majesty." Coco rolled her eyes and laughed along with Sebaleon. "Your chariot awaits, by the way. Miss Dracon is expecting you."

"Dragon?!" Fluttershy shouted, shaking the foundation of the station.

"She gets that a lot," Coco patted Fluttershy on the back. "She's not really a dragon."

"Depends on who you speak to, really." Sebaleon winked coyly. "I love working with her, but not everyone catches on right away with her rather, shall we say? aggressive style of bringing out a character."

"Thank goodness she isn't a dragon. Oh. No offense, Spike."

"None taken."

"I just tend to get riled up around adult dragons."

"You're in luck. She's a Griffon," Coco nodded.

Fluttershy meeped and curled up into the fetal position.

"Yeahhhhh, she doesn't really have a good history with Griffons either." Rainbow Dash looked to the side, away from everyone, and rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

"I'm positive no one could be as mean-spirited as she was." Fluttershy tried to reassure herself. "I just... I just don't know how to deal with bullies very well... At times."

"Ha! Welcome to Manehatten!" It was that same voice that called out from earlier, and Applejack had had enough. It came, invisible, from within the crowd, but she was keeping her eyes on it from the first instance.

"Okay, na, that's it!" She leaped into the crowd. "I can only take so dern much of a crab apple!"

"Sooooo, Sebaleon, do tell, are you going to be in the show I think you're going to be in?" Rarity piped in.

"Uhhhh, which show does she think I'm going to be in?" Sebaleon asked Coco.

"My Fair Pony," Coco complied.

"Oh! Well, that's classified informa-"

"She'll be auditioning as well. I invited them," Coco compiled.

"In that case, I am at liberty to say: Yes, and ponies have really got to tell me these things ahead of time before I look like a moron."

"Too late," Coco punctuated.

Sebaleon's ears tilted back, and his lips pursed in admittance he'd clopped right into that one.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! HEYYY! GUESS WHAT!?" Pinkie screeched, skidding to a halt by the group.

"Found 'im!" Applejack hollered unseen from within the throes of ponies. Her shout was promptly followed by the loud crack of a country-fried smack before she trotted back.

"Everypony has to try this thing called shawamamalamma!" Pinkie squeed.

"I want to think you mean shawarma, but in this city, I really don't know." Sebaleon raised a brow.

"If I know Pinkie, then that's exactly what she means." Twilight rolled her eyes and looked Pinkie dead in the eyes. "Pinkie. Where did you find this shawarma? I have never sampled that Saddle Arabian cuisine, and we must science this at once!"

"Not now, please, I'm imploring. We need to get over to the theatre for the auditions!" Rarity intervened."Another time, and, perhaps, another place, but we're deathly close to the deadline."

"Good point. Shawarma Science can wait. Whatever that is." Pinkie shrugged.

"Yes, Rarity's right. Another time, another place." Twilight concurred. "Where are we heading? I'll still have to make sure we're set up with the right accommodations, so it would be good to know where the theatre is."

"I can take you all there now," Coco smiled.

"Did Eliza already show up?" Sebaleon asked.

Something in Rarity snapped all at once. She went from volume 11 to 4 in nothing flat. She twitched and tried to maintain a calm smile.

"By Eliza, I'm sure you mean a pony named, Eliza, yes? And not the character?"

Sebaleon looked from side to side, cautiously. It was apparent he'd deduced her intentions.

"The leads were pre-cast at a prior audition. This is the open audition for the play." He grimaced.

"Didn't it mention on the letter I sent you?" Coco looked concerned and ashamed.

"Not anywh-" Rarity pulled the letter out of her saddlebag with her teeth, but so that the back side flapped up into her face. She froze in place when she read what was on the back. It was hand-written, rather from the neat, typed font on the front. It had escaped her notice completely. "Wha?"

"I feel I've made a terrible mistake. I'm sorry, Rarity, if you were under a different impression," Coco apologized. "Eliza Littlepony and Professor Hitchins have already been cast."

The Cast Away

R arity opened the cage to let Opal saunter out into the hotel suite. She sighed once Opalescence has settled, and she crashed into one of the beds in a clump.

“Nice room, Twi.” Rainbow took in the luxury of the room.

“Sometimes, being a Princess really comes in handy.” Twilight smiled.

“You never did tell us what hands even are...” Rainbow mentioned.

“I am a fool!” Rarity sobbed with disparity. “I should have checked that letter over and over, front to back. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.”

“There, there,” Fluttershy patted Rarity on the back. “You're still going to audition, aren't you? I'm sure they'd appreciate you being there.”

“I don't really know. I mean, I didn't think I was just going to show up and get the part, but I feel somewhat embarrassed by the fact that it's known what I came for. Does it make me look like a Prima Donna? Was I just ever so slightly overexcited? Possibly. Should I have expected so much to even get the part at all? Well, I suppose that was a bit rash. But why!? I know that I have a particular talent for performance, so, really, all I wanted was a chance. I'm just... I'm just figuring out if I should go...” Rarity looked to her friends. “I know many of you were intent on going yourselves. Please, don't let my indecisiveness get in your way.”

“Are you sure, Rarity?” Pinkie Pie asked timidly. She knew Coco was down in the lobby with Sebaleon, and they'd be leaving for the theater, but she had no intentions of leaving her friend in despair.

“Yeah, 'cuz, y'know, if Pinkie goes, I'll have to go with her. For support. And no other reason. Whatsoever,” Rainbow added.

“Positive, darlings!” Rarity wiped a few tears and put on her flashiest smile.

“Okie dokie lokie...” Pinkie Pie agreed, uncertain. She left with Rainbow behind her. Rainbow Dash closed the suite door with a cover-up, 'I'm not excited about this, ignore my trembling' smile on her departure.

“I'ma just gun sit right down here.” Applejack plopped down by Rarity. “Never hadin in-ter-rest in that show anyways.”

“I'm here too, Rartity,” said Fluttershy.

“And me,” said Twilight. “But I think you already have the answers to your own questions.” Twilight gave Rarity a reassuring smile.

“You do?” Rarity sniffled. “I do? Come now, Twilight, I hardly think that I-”

“Rarity, you really do. I can tell this isn't a thing about vanity, but just wanting to prove something to somepony else,” she huddled up with Fluttershy and Applejack around Rarity, “And maybe a little to yourself. Wanting to prove you can do something doesn't make you selfish.”

“You're... you are right, Twilight, but what if I audition and they do already know what I told Coco and Sebaleon? Oh! It'll be a disaster! I'm not going!” Rarity broke free from the enclosure and buried her muzzle into a pillow. Her mascara was running, and her sobs were deafening, but the trio of friends stood resolute.

“Rarity. Ask yourself: is that something Coco Pommel would do?” Fluttershy asked.

“Tha's righ'. An' that Sebaleon feller didn't seem too prickly either.”

“I suppose you all have a point, but... No!” Rarity wiped the tears away from her eyes and stood, hooves firm, on the mattress. Fluttershy, Applejack, and Twilight frowned. “I refuse to get the little things get this filly down.”

“That's the spirit, Rarity!” Twilight's mood, as with the others, took a positive turn around.

“Waita minute, does anyone hear that musi-”

Rarity jumped into song.

“While it's true I love my dresses, --- my heart has a strong bearing towards design --- and absolutely nothing messes with any upcoming lines.” She pranced towards the window and let it open for her to trot onto the terrace. “But while I toil away on a called-for costume, I find, time after time, it's just and only backstage where I tend to loom. Play. After play. After play!” She shot her attention towards her friends on each punctuation. “I can't think in a cage. Acting is all the rage! Get me to the stage.”

“I thought I heard music,” said Applejack. “Where does tha' acome from anywa-”

“I want to hear the applause, and I know it isn't a game, I'm not seeking fortune or fame, I just want to try because,” She hopped onto the bed, prim and dignified. “This time I want to be on the set! Walking across the boards. I know I have it in me to play to hoards, of ponies I've never met!” She jumped high. “I can't put myself in a cage! Acting's all the rage! Get me to the stage.” The determination in her eyes as she marched for the door was impeccable.

Her friends followed her from the door --- Applejack locked up as they left --- and to the elevator. They descended together down stories as Rarity continued to sing with conviction. They bounced on their hooves and and jazz squared to the tune of the Poppy selection.

“I do already know all the parts, with stark and vibrant clarity. I'll roll with any really any role and I'll regale them all! That's my goal! One little problem can't get in the way of this one and only Rarity.” The elevator dinged, opening up the door to the hotel lobby. “I just know that I've got to go, the unstoppable super filly. I won't sulk, sit down, and be silly. Inspiration's everywhere, there are so many shows around me that I know!”

Her friends sang three separate lines in harmony.

“He's there, the Pony of the Opera!” sang Fluttershy.

“Oh what a beautiful mornin'!” sang Applejack.

“Make them hear you!” sang Twilight Sparkle.

Rarity charged towards the lobby entrance, and they passed through the revolving door just in time to see Coco Pommel, Sebaleon, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash wave happily from the other side of the street before they were about to get into a cab carriage. A fire had been lit under Rarity's hooves, and she enjoyed it. Her eyes sparkled as she finished her number.

“I won't put myself in a cage. Acting, darlings, is all the rage! Get! Me! To! The stage!”

“To the stage!” Six friends punctuated, as Sebaleon told the cab driver which stage. The cabbie dashed off, and they were on their way.

◊◊◊

When she performed, she was it all. She had grace, skill, precision, beauty, and the tone of her voice caused chills in those who heard her. The director and the leading filly of “My Fair Pony” both listened with interest as the auditioner produced sounds like they'd never heard. She was dressed in an elegant gown, she stood firm and confident, and she had a gray coat and crossed eyes.

“Muffins. All alone in the bake light. I can smile at them baking. They're my favorite sweet snack. Blueberry or Cinnamon, I like a whole lot. Let the muffins serve again.”

The suggested cut-off for auditions was 16 bars. The two let her finish the whole song. Tears welled up in their eyes and streamed down their faces. She could not be turned away. She sang with the emphasis, verve, and expression of a master thespian.

“Burnt out ends of smoky trays. The stale cold crumbs, by morning. A napkin tossed, another snack time over. Another is tray is baking!” She took a deep breath and brought the house down, figuratively. “I hear Ding! How I love to hear ring! Now alone with the muffins, they are really so fun. If you bake them, you'll understand what happiness is. Look a new tray, has... begun.”

Dawning Dracon gave Derpy Hooves a standing ovation, followed soon by Histrionica. Dracon's wings extended to their full width in excitement, knocking Histrionica off her hooves. The fallen actress quickly regained her ground to continue the applause that lasted several minutes. Derpy seemed to enjoy it, but it was hard to tell where her focus was.

“Dear, that was unspeakable. I have no words.” Dracon confessed emphatically.

Evidently, neither did Derpy. She looked to the door, and trotted out, leaving the casting crew even more speechless than they had been. They looked to each other in shock and made notes while Derpy passed Rarity in the hall, just outside the door.

“I know I sang a whole song about being self-determined, but I am no longer feeling quite the same way, it seems.” Rarity breathed heavily. “Did you hear that in there?! She was simply glorious, and I have no chance of anything if I go in now!”

“Rarity!” Pinkie Pie placed her hooves square on her friend's shoulders. “You. Have. Got this. To prove that anypony can impress them, I'll go next.”

“Pinkie! No!” Rarity tried to stop her, but it was too late. Pinkie Pie had entered the room.

“Howdy, everypony!” Pinkie Pie squealed with delight.

Dawning Dracon and Histrionica were far too distracted with their notes to notice Pinkie standing a short distance from them,  and Pinkie was too excited to notice their not noticing. She presented herself with a showpony's appeal without any regard for the fact the judges were busy.

“I will now sing.” She cleared her throat. “Lalalalala! Make. Them. Laugh! Make them laugh! Don't you know everypony wants to laugh? Ha! Ha!” She kicked her kicks and danced her dance. “My Granny said be a showpony, Pinkie. But be in a Comma...dee...?” She started to notice their not noticing. She slowed to a crawl and her dance turned into a flop and her tone went flat. “Hello?” She inquired, with no reply.

Pinkie stifled a tear. The worst had happened, by her account. She'd failed to make somepony laugh. Failed utterly and completely. They didn't even crack a smile. They just had their eyes glued to their notes. It was like she didn't even exist. Defeated, Pinkie plodded towards the door, and trudged through the door. She didn't even look up towards her friends as she exited. She just walked down the hall, and out the exit. Her spirit had been broken.

“Pinkie!” Twilight shouted, with no response.

“I'm on it!” Applejack dashed after Pinkie Pie, followed closely by Rainbow Dash.

Rarity's condition had not improved as a result of the passing events. It only made her more anxious, and worried. They hadn't laughed at the very Harmonial Spirit of Laughter herself!

“Oh poor, poor Pinkie Pie! Eaten, chewed up, and spat out like so many other ponies in this cruel, cruel town. Curse you, Manehatten!”

“Next!” Histrionica called out into the hallway.

Rarity nearly said something crass. Twilight caught it before Rarity could make a fool of herself. A look of determination fell on Twilight's face when she knew what to do.

Rarity fought as Twilight nudged her friend through the door and into the marked position for the audition. Twilight left the room, and left Rarity to pout. Rarity was seeing red.

She saw Dawning Dracon's blue wings twitch and she spotted Histrionica's dark green mane. She connected these features with the griffon and pony who had destroyed her dear, dear friend. She knew what she would do. She would refuse to be in that production. She'd show them. She'd wow them, and leave them wanting. She knew she could, and she gave the endeavor her best shot.

“Just you wait, Horsey Hitchins, just you wait!” Rarity spat, and her on-point anger mixed with tonal proficiency caught the listeners right away. “You'll be sorry, but your tears'll be too late. You'll be broke! And I'll have money! Will I help you?! Don't be funny! Just you wait, Horsey Hitchins! Just you wait!”

“A unique choice for an opener...” Histrionica noted both out loud and on paper. She used her Unicorn magic to lift the quill, and a clover green aura surrounded it while it scratched against the fibers. “I... rather liked it though.”

“You did?” Rarity asked with prompt glee. She'd forgotten her anger and her intention in an instant, because of the praise.

“Dawn?” Histrionica looked to her griffon cohort.

“It was impressive. I would like to see more...hmmm... technical singing, perhaps?”

“One evening Celestia will say, 'liza, oh thing, I want all Equestria your praises to sing! Next week on the twentieth, if I may, I proclaim 'Liza Littlepony Day!'” Rarity lost no time to emulate the soft tinkling of a sweet music box. She sounded serene and her character was no less established than it had been in anger.

“Who are you, dear?” asked Dawning Dracon. “I am the director. Dawning Dracon.” She introduced herself, taking the blue feather from behind her ear tuft to write her opinion down.

“My name is Rarity, Madam!” Rarity squeaked.

“Do you know who I am, Rarity?” Histrionica asked.

“You do seem familia- Oh! Oh my! You're Histrion- I... I had no clue you had anything to do with this production! If I had only known. Are you doing backstage work this time around?”

“Actually...” Histrionica droned, “I'm Eliza Littlepony. The part you seem to be auditioning for. Do I presume correctly?”

Rarity went blank. “I uhhhh... erm...I just....well, you see that I wasn't really auditioning for Eliza! I wouldn't dream of it! Not when I did know that the role had already been so masterfully cast.”

Dawning Dracon chuckled behind a clenched talon. Histrionica raised a brow. Her lime green eyes shot to and through Rarity. The latter was frozen in her place for fear Histrionica would destroy her then and there for sheer impertinence. Rarity shook like a leaf at the knees. All four of them.

“I see. Well, it has not been masterfully understudied for this show. Not yet.” She scratched a note on her paper, prompting Dawning to sneak a look. Dawning retracted and nodded as the room hung in the balance of tense silence. “Until now.”

“Not confirmed yet, since we need to see every audition before we decide on anything.” Dawning Dracon noted sympathetically. “But you're the first one we've seen seem up to such a task. Do you agree?”

“I....” Rarity was stupefied.

“I thought so.” Histrionica cracked a grin and opened the exit with her magic. “Stay around, and we'll be sure to contact you. You filled out the audition sheet, didn't you?”

“I never gave it to you!” Rarity realized, blushing.

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty.” Histrionica reminded her.

“Ah, right. Very true.” Rarity's strong blush persisted. She offered the sheet Coco Pommel had given her, and placed it down on the desk. Dawning Dracon and Histrionica shared a glance and smile.

“Glad to finally get that sense of security.” Histrionica noted happily. “See you very soon, Rarity.” She winked.

Rarity raced out of the room, leaving a dazed pony and griffon behind. Her screams of delight echoed down the hall, and received the attention of three waiting ponies.

“Did you?”

“I did!”

“Next!” said Histrionica, before looking to Rarity and nodding her head with a gentle grin.

“See?! I did it! I don't quite know what I did, but I did it somehow!”

“How did you do that?” Fluttershy asked.

“I am Trixie! The Great and Talented!” passed through the door to the room Rarity had exited, slightly muffled.

“I'm not sure,” Rarity replied, coming down to Equestria once again.

“What are you going to do now?” asked Twilight.

Rarity regained her previous state of anxiety.

“I... I don't know.” She went wide-eyed.

She knew something big had happened, but she wasn't quite sure if that big thing also happened to be a good thing. She gulped.