It was an exhausting night for Princess Luna. With the recent threats to the kingdom, she had to maintain a high degree of alertness, but the mind can only take so much before it begins shutting down.
After placing her crown, her armor, her weapons, and her hoofshoes in their respective places, she went to sleep. The dreamscape called to her, but today, she ignored it. Until this threat to Equestria was put down, she would be unable to patrol the myriad of dreams for she needed her strength to watch over her subjects during her waking hours.
Her slumber was interrupted by the sound of the barrier being broken. She immediately put on her armor and readied her swords, Phobos and Deimos, for battle. She was primed to face this threat, and the Princess of the Night would be sure to enjoy the battle ahead. Her body screamed for action and she was certain that she would be triumphant.
“Thine foe has finally decided to attack. This will be a glorious battle!” screamed Luna. She headed for the doors which led away from her royal quarters. What surprised her was the barrier that she hit before reaching the exit.
“Thine foe is a devious one, but you shall not trap this vigilant warrior!” raged Princess Luna. She ran towards the balcony so that she might fly out, but her progress was once again hindered by the barrier. She, tried teleporting but every, time she materialized, she still found herself trapped within the magical field. She tried blasting the obstruction, but all it did was incinerate her room. Luna, the Princess of the Night, the Warrior Princess, the bearer of Phobos and Deimos, was trapped.
“Enough, Princess” spoke an orange coated Pony wearing a mulberry suit. “Any attempts against the barrier will be futile. Save your strength for what is to come.”
Princess Luna glared at the intruder. “I SHALL ASSAULT THEE INSTEAD! IF DISEMBOWELING THEE IS THE MEANS TO ESCAPE THIS PRISON, THEN I SHALL MERCILESSLY EVISCERATE THOU!”
Luna’s assault proved useless. Her swords bounced impotently against the earth pony. Her magic resulted in nothing but a yawn from the mare. Her brute strength did not even cause the stranger to flinch.
Out of breath, Luna collapsed to the ground. The mare came closer to her. Luna was certain that the final blow would be coming and she steeled herself. She never expected the mare to help her up. The stranger then bowed before her.
“Princess Luna, my name is Ms. Harshwhinny. I am but a humble servant in this world. I have come here to take you into a dimension where we train all villains. We never expected you to turn into Nightmare Moon all those eons ago thus we were unprepared. We-“
“Thou have made a grave mistake, my royal subject. I am no longer a villain" replied the Princess.
“Regardless, Princess Luna, this training is mandatory, whether you are or are no longer a villain.”
“But my subjects need me!” pleaded a distraught Luna.
Ms. Harshwhinny took out her notebook, checked her notes, and looked out the window. “Do not concern yourself. This villain will fall. Her monologues and her arias will be her undoing.”
There were now explosions all over Canterlot. A storm was brewing, and Luna desired to be in the center of that storm.
“How long will this villain school take?” inquired Luna.
Ms. Harshwhinny once again checked her notes. “For you, Princess, it will take an Equestrian Month. As you can see, during Nightmare Moon’s first assault on Equestria, you were defeated in a span of ten minutes by your sister. Your second siege may have lasted longer, but if the judges of the School for Villains were to grade you, they would have labelled you as a Class F Minor. We aim to improve your standing, like a recent magician that has trained under us. With her knowledge of the Alicorn Amulet, her rating would soon be bumped up to Class B Major. Under our tutelage, we would be able to transform you into a Class AAA Major, one that could end numerous multiverses or rule them under her merciless hoof.”
“But I am no longer a villain! My subjects need me! They are being overwhelmed as we speak. I need to protect them!” pleaded Luna.
“That is none of my concern, Princess” answered Ms. Harshwhinny.
Luna took a pouch from her armor. “I am Royalty! Surely, there is a way for me to convince you?” Luna then tossed the pouch to Ms. Harshwhinny. It glistened with bits and gems.
“Are you implying that I can be bribed Princess!!! I AM A BUREAUCRAT!!! MY INTEGRITY IS NOT FOR SALE!” screamed Ms. Harshwhinny
Luna was downtrodden. Her subjects will have to do without her. Her fate was sealed.
“As I said, Princess Luna, my integrity is never for sale” Ms. Harshwhinny came closer, then whispered into her ear. “However you can rent it for five hundred bits an hour.”
Luna was shocked! “Five hundred bits an hour you say?”
Ms. Harshwhinny flashed a devious smile. “Make it five thousand and I shall rewrite our records to say that you have passed and you are now a Class A Minor, a planet ruling despot. I would also teach you the secret to being a successful villain.”
“Once this fight is over, you shall have twenty thousand bits delivered to you. What was your name again? Miss...Direction? Did I get that right?” replied a smiling Princess Luna.
Miss Harshwhinny smiled once again. “Just for that Princess, I’ll bump up your grade to Class A Major, a villain that could rule or end multiple planets. Kindly follow me please, we need a little room for my next lesson. The two ponies then moved to the center of the room.
“You are not allowed to share this knowledge to anyone else Princess Luna. This knowledge may be powerful, but it has its limits. Firstly, write the letters I D D Q D with your magic” instructed Ms. Harshwhinny.
Luna did as she was told. The letters coalesced in front of her.
Miss Harshwhinny checked the letters and was pleased with the result. “Now imbue it with a locator spell and chant the words “KLAATU BARADA NIKTO.” Do not mispronounce those words as it will only lead to trouble. This incantation will then send your request to the eighth dimension. Do it now.”
Luna did as instructed. “KLAATU BARADA NIKTO!” chanted Luna. The letters then disappeared.
Miss Harshwhinny took a deep breath. “Now we wait for a reply. You normally receive an answer to your request within a few minutes after you have sent it.”
After a span of three minutes a scroll and a quill appeared in front of Princess Luna.
“They have granted your request” said a smiling Miss Harshwhinny. “You now have access to God Mode my dear Princess. Let me demonstrate its powers. I want you to write down on that scroll that your room be returned to normal” instructed Miss Harshwhinny.
Luna did as she was told. There was a flash of light and she was pleasantly surprised to see her room back to normal.
“Once you are done with God Mode, simply write “Mischief Managed” on the scroll” informed Miss Harshwhinny.
Luna did as told. The scroll rolled itself and a disembodied voice was heard. “God Mode disabled. Thank you, and good evening, Princess Luna.” The scroll and quill then disappeared.
“One more thing, Princess, use of this arcane technique alerts anyone with an understanding of the mysteries of the multiverse. Fixing your room was but an insignificant drop in the ocean. If one were to abuse this mode by, let’s say, giving one unlimited power, the guardians of the multiverse would swoop down on you and erase you from existence. Use this power wisely. There is a greater power than God Mode and unfortunately I do not know what it is. The barrier has been broken, you are now free.” With those last words, Miss Harshwhinny vanished.
Luna then heard the cries of ponies cheering. “It seems we have won the battle. I must pretend that nothing happened in order to throw off any suspicion on my whereabouts” thought Luna as she started flying towards the castle grounds.
Miss Harshwhinny materialized beside me. “Tell me Arcane, what is this power that is greater than God Mode?”
I gave her a deep kiss and a hug.
“It’s not the Power of Love, is it?” asked an intrigued Miss Harshwhinny.
I gave her another kiss. “No, my dear, it is not that. This power allows mere mortals, no matter how ordinary they may be to conquer gods. It is simply called “The Writer Is On My Side.””
Her eyes fluttered.
“In fact maybe I’ll use it now, have you go crazy over me” I jokingly said.
“There is no need for that my dear writer.” Miss Harshwhinny then grabbed my hand with her mouth and led me to the bedroom.
“Looks like there’ll be no author’s note today” I mused.
