Creme the Accountant

by Darth TUK

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe
Length: 2114

I've been sitting on this since the image came out and with the contest and all I tought I might as well finish it. All kudos to kilala97

I've been sitting on this since the image came out and with the contest and all I tought I might as well finish it. All kudos to kilala97

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-30 18:17:48 UTC

Chapter 1

It was late in the evening for Creme and as usual this time of year, she was still burried in her work. The pile of papers was getting smaller, but not nearly as fast as she would have hoped for. The effort she put in her work was starting to get to her. Just as she was about to call it a day she noticed something unusual.

She was still a begginer in the world of Canterlot accounting, but her remarkable skills have brought her many new clients in the past few moons. One of them was an absolute surprise to her. When such a successful business stallion as Filthy Rich seeks you out in need of your services, there is no way you'd decline him. Creme didn't hesitate for a second. She saw it as an perfect opportunity to make a name for her with a client like him. Although she was curious why he was in need of an accountant in the first place. For somepony with an established family business like his, one would have expected him to already have one. But this was the case. His old accountant, Mr. Empire M. Bezzling, recently died in an accident and Filthy was in a hurry to find a replacement and Creme's father happened to mention to him once during one of many events they've attended together, that she indeed was dabbling in accounting.

She got all the materials from Rich's Barnyard Bargains within two days and almost completely processed as the previous accountant working on them did an outstanding job. The problem was with what remained to be processed. At first glance everything seemed okay, but there were smallest of discrepancies here and there. When she started to dig deeper she discovered thousands and thousands of bits simply disappearing into thin air. Everything was cleverly hidden and once finished, as it was intended to, the taxponies would've never found out.

But where did all those bits end up? Was she picked up for the job, because she was young and inexperienced and never supposed to find out? Was the death of Mr. Bezzling really an accident?

~~~~~

Numbers. All these numbers. Over and over again. I hate the taxing season. Even though I've became so good at this, it's still only counts as a hobby. I never planned to get burried underneath these stacks of paper. It's almost half past eight. Anypony sane would be already at home considering if it's bed time already and I'm here doing accounting for someone who thought it would be a great idea to get it done on the last minute.

I know I have to make it. A client like this is a gift from Celestia herself. True, I've gotten new ones since last year's season, but nopony nearly as influential as Mr. Filthy Rich, the owner of Rich's Barnyard Bargains. Filthy Rich's agenda is my lifetime opportunity to change this from a hobby to an actual job that can support me. To think it happened so effortlessly. All thanks to my father who mentioned my skills with accounting during last years' Grand Galoping Gala to his circle of acquaintances. Mr. Rich knocked on my door asking to get his accounting done after his previous accountant unfortunately and unexpectedly passed away in an carriage accident. Nonetheless it happened at the least convinient moment, right before the end of taxing season. Mr. Rich said everything was almost finished just a few more details. He didn't lie, everything was almost finished, but he somehow forgot to mention that „a few more details“ meant twenty-five horseshoe boxes full of accounting books.

The previous accounting pony working for Rich's Barnyard Bargains, some Mr. Empire M. Bezzling, really knew what he was doing. At first the sheer amount of documents I had to go through terrified me, but then I found out how neat and orderly everything was. Every single bit earned and spent written down in a crystal clear system. It almost felt like I was about to ruin a masterpiece if I even touch the thing in order to finish it. All of my previous accounting clients' revenue put together was something Rich earned in a day. He could literally take a swim in bits. I wasn't used to working with such large numbers, but I was slowly getting to it. Still, there was one item I kept seeing over and over again, both in income and expenses: BBGKB, ranging from 500 to several thousand Bits. In the entire documentation there was only a brief explanation of what it meant (Barnyard Bargains Griffon Kingdom Branch), but no actual hint at all as to where those bits came from or what they were spent on. However suspicious it appered to be, those items never stood out, certainly not enough for an underpayed equestrian taxpony to question them and even if he happened to be the most diligent bureaucrat in history I highly doubt he would be eager to volunteer for a business trip to carry out an audit somewhere in the Griffon Kingdom. The weirdest thing is that even though Barnyard Bargains is a huge company, I'm sure it never expanded outside of Equestria.

Something big is definitely going on and I have no idea what to do next. Better get some advice.

~~~~~

*DING* *DONG* *DUNG*

After a short moment the buttlerpony trotted inside the living room.

-Miss Créme de la Créme, your daughter.

-Thank you Greysuit, you may leave us now. Hello my dear, it's so good to see you again, but isn't this a little bit late for a visit?

-Oh papá! I need your help.

-What's the matter darling? Is everything allright?

-Well I'm not sure myself. You remember the job I was so excited about, the one for Mr. Rich.

-Yes, yes of course I do.

-There has been something in the materials I've been going through. Everything is pointing out that there has been some sort of tax fraud or embezzlement. Or both.

-I don't think there is much I can do about something like that sweetie. You should report it to the officials.

-I know I should, but it makes me so nervous. Scared even. What if there's more? What if it's even worse than it looks like? I don't want to get in trouble.

-My dear I fear it is too late for that, but you shouldn't worry. Go home, get some sleep and first thing tomorrow morning you go to the police station and tell them everything. Let the guardsponies take care of it, they'll know what to do.

-Hmm, I suppose you're right. I don't know what got me so worked up. Now I feel bad for storming here unannounced.

-Oh sweetheart, you're being too tough on yourself. How about tommorow, after you settle everything up, you get back here once again, we'll have some tea and talk about less stressful matters, how does that sound, hmm?

-Thank you papá! *mwah* I'll see you tomorrow, good night!

-Good night honey.

~~~~~

Oh my heart is beating like wild. I doubt I can fall asleep like this. Maybe a little something at the bar will help me get a good night's rest.

~~~~~

As Créme was leaving the house of her parents, somepony was observing her from inside.

*BRING* *BRING* *** *BRING* *BRING* *CLANK*

-Hello?

....

-Good evening, Greysuit speaking. Excuse the late call, but you requested that I inform you without delay whenever my master has business concerning you.

....

-Yes. I believe his daughter has taken great passion in her accounting job for Barnyard Bargains.

....

-Créme de la Créme.

....

Thank you. Glad to be of service. Good night.

*CLANK*

~~~~~

*CLILILING*

-Welcome to Pony Joe's Donut Shop!

-Hi Joe.

-Oh miss Créme, what a nice surprise! Working late again, aren't we?

-Yeah something like that, but I came here so that I don't have to worry about work for once.

-I understand. If that's the case, then let me offer you my latest creation – Chockolate donuts filled with cherry cream and cherry icing. You're gonna love it, the cream is 100% fruit-free! *wink*

-But aren't cherries fruits?

-Yes they are, but I meant the liquor.

-O-oh ... ooohhh. Now that certainly sounds like something that will get my mind off of things. You may keep them comming.

~~~~~

Dozens of delicious donuts later.

...Hihihi, oh Joe you're so silly.

-No, you do smell like a cherry orchard, one more donut and you'll grow roots and start blossoming. Two and the Neighpon ponies are going to build a shrine around you. It's time you get some sleep *YAWN* and me too. Come on, Celestia will be rising the sun in a few hours and I don't want to be anywhere outside of my bed when that happens.

-Oh Joeeee, but these donuts are so delicious.

-I know, I'm the one who made them, but you had too many and now you're drunk.

-That's not true. I'm a lady. Ladies don't get drunk *HIC*

-Enough ~lady~ you have to go home or I'll take you there myself.

-UUUh you want to take me home so you can bake donuts with me, don't you?

-NO- Créme go home. NOW!

-Okay, okay. I'm going Joe, you didn't have to yell. I tought we were having fun.

-We were, but you had one box of donuts less back then. Good night Créme.

-Good night Joe.

~~~~~

My way home was peaceful and lonely, only Luna's moon and her stars were keeping me company. It was late and my reflection in the show-windows of Canterlot's luxury boutiques was telling me I should have left Joe's place way earlyer. Tomorrow ... or rather today in the morning I'm going to look like a total mess. Not exactly ideal when you're supposed to report a crime.

~~~~~

A few more creaking stairs up to my apartment and at last I can lay in my bed and die from tiredness.

Why won't the key unlock the door? What? How can it be already open? Have I forgotten to lock my door again?

It took me only a moment to realize what is happening as I stepped in. All of a sudden I am sober. My whole apartment is a total mess. Everything is upside-down, inside-out. Not a single book remaining on it's place, all the drawers pulled out with their contents laying scattered all over the floor, my dresses trorn to pieces stomped over and decorating the rest of the chaos, that my home become.

Then I hear a clatter from the kitchen. My blood freezes – somepony is still in here!

Have they heard me? They must have. The creaking stairs, my keys, but better not wait around till I find out for sure. Sneaking out to the staircase I have to stop to make a facehoof. I should've been nicer to my landlord. Those creaking stairs.

This is going to be silly, but I have to give it a shot. Carefully ballance my tush on the hoofrail, let go and sliiiiiide. I can feel all the blood in my cheeks as my face must be red with embarrassment. Ehm, well at least I avoided the stairs. I think now would be the best time to make that visit to the police station.

~~~~~

-H-hello?

-Greetings Mam. How can I be of service to you?

-I have some crimes to report officer.

-Yes, I'm listening.

-Well first of all, somepony just broke into my apartment.

-What is the adress?

-Haystack Road 16.

-I'll have a patrol dispatched immidiately.

-Then there is this other thing and I think it's related to the break in. You see I work as an accountant and I was hired to do the taxpapers for Rich's Barnyard Bargains and I found evidence of embezzlement.

-Excuse me, but what was your name again?

-I'm sorry, where are my manners. My name is Créme. Créme de la Créme.

-*sniff* *sniff* Is that alcohol? Madam have you've been drinking?

-N-no. I mean sort of...

-Madam I'll have to ask you to wait here for a moment. I need to report this to my superiors.

-I-I ...

I kept helplessly stuttering as the guardspony went into his office. What am I going to do? Nopony'll believe me now.

-Hello, officer Grass Eater speaking.

Hmmm, he didn't fully close the door behind him.

-The mare you've been looking for ... yes, the Créme one, she just came in, should I lock her up or get rid of her right away?

*GASP* OH MY CELESTIA!

What have I gotten myself into?