I awaken to a bright light and a sense of danger. Groggily, I open my eyes. A massive white alicorn is standing next to my bed, holding up the bloody towel with her magic and glaring at me.

“Explain what you have done to her,” her voice is soft and dangerous. I can feel the hatred radiating from her, though her colorful mane flows gently.

“It’s my blood, don't wake up Moon Light,” I whisper to the alicorn as I jolt fully to my senses. Moon Light has attached herself to me in her sleep. Her hind legs are locked tightly around my leg and her forehooves encircle my chest. With the grip she has, I’m pretty sure I could stand up without her budging an inch. How do I get out of this without waking her up?

“What do you mean it is your blood? What has happened?” The white alicorn’s expression has softened just a bit, but she is still glaring and radiating hatred.

“We had a little accident involving fangs. It’s fine.”

“What?”

As if on cue, Moon Light murmurs and shifts, biting me gently. Despite the horrid timing, it still sends a delightful shockwave through me. The alicorn’s eyes go wide in recognition, and a small smile shows on her face.

I smile gently as well, “She is so adorable isn’t she? I’ll admit she’s a bit dangerous, but what’s a rose without thorns?”

The mare looks confused, “A thornless rose. Why?”

“Er.. It’s a human expression. Roses symbolize love to us. The phrase means that the sheer beauty and lovely scent of the rose are very much worth dealing with the thorns. Any rose without thorns is just taking the beauty for granted. Perhaps I should say you can’t make a cake without breaking a few eggs?”

“Just use apple sauce.”

“Man, this world is interesting. It’s so absolutely different, yet just similar enough that it’s maddening. I need to find a library soon and read it. All of it. At least enough is similar that I didn’t mess up last night too much. Can I have a few minutes of privacy to get dressed and cleaned up? It might take me a moment or two to figure out how to detach her from me without waking her up. We can talk in a bit.”

“Very well,” she starts to turn to leave and shoots me a small smile, “Rub her chest gently. She should relax her grip.” She leaves, the door banging shut behind her. I put her advice to use and, low and behold, it works. Gently, I roll out of bed. Throwing on a pair of black jeans and t-shirt, I pull on my ever-present hoodie and backpack. I place a soft kiss on Moon Light’s cheek and close the bed’s curtains.

As soon as I head out the door, I am greeted by a group of six large guards. There are two of each of the day races, one each of black and white. In some ways, they remind me of chess pieces. All are wearing golden barding and have a look of determination.

“Please follow us to Princess Celestia. She is waiting to speak with you.”

“Sure thing. So, that’s who that was this morning? Lovely. Day two in Equestria. Daily objective: piss off Celestia. Check.”

“Show respect, and call her-,” a black pegasus darts forward and muffles him. I hear him whisper, “Do not go there. He might look harmless, but he is an immensely powerful being sprung straight from a nightmare. Treat him with all the respect you would show an ambassador from the griffins. He’s a nice guy, but still capable of being absolutely monstrous.”

We resume walking and, after some thought, I correct his word choice.

“Wasn’t your coat white last night? Anyways, I dislike the word monstrous. It comes from the word monster. That is one word that I least like used to describe me. Calm down, I didn’t go after you last night because of what you said. I went after you because of what you called me. The words mutt, cur, whelp or any similar racist words when used to label me will encourage me to show you what the other side of the gate to hell looks like.”

The pegasus's eyes shrink down to tiny dots, and he looks afraid. “I was being racist? No wonder you acted like that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Can we pretend I called you ugly or some other insult? I was white colored, the barding changes our coats to black or white in order to match the royal colors.” He twists something on his barding, revealing a caramel coat with a brown mane. His wings have small gold streaks in the center of his feathers.

“Sure. Just pretend I gave you a devilish look and said something like, ‘Don’t be jealous just because you can never be this sexy.’” He looks at me skeptically. “What’s with that look? We both know mares dig the exotic strong types.”

“Don’t take me wrong, but you don’t look very strong.”

I stop and drop my backpack and hoodie off in a fluid, practiced motion. He is shocked by the cords of muscle hiding under my hoodie. I flex and he whimpers. Pulling my hoodie and backpack on again, I shoot him an evil smile, “Looks like stallions like it too. I don’t mind stallions, but I’ve got my eye on a certain little mare.”

The other guards look at him, and I consider my words. I have no idea whether homosexuals are condemned in this world or not. If I’ve set him up for trouble, I’m gonna feel bad. Then anyone that fucks with him is gonna feel bad. It would be my fault, after all. My suspicions are cut short when the other pegasus guard pokes him with a hoof and whispers, “He really is a hottie. He’d fit right in with the royal guard. How do you think he got muscles like that anyway?”

I reach out and poke the other pegasus in the side, “Okay, are you dense or flirting? My hearing is on a different level than yours, so whispers are the same as speaking out loud.” He shoots me an evil smile to match my own.

“Rule 28.”

“Wait, you're a mare?”

“WHAT?” His eyes are wide.

“What?”

“What is rule 28 to your culture?”

“Always question gender, just in case. What’s it here?”

“Why is that a thing? Rule 28 is a stallion is always flirting, no exceptions.”

I ponder this strange parallel, and I can’t help it. “What’s rule 34?” I try and keep my expression blank. He blushes. This is gonna be good.

“Somepony has a fetish of it. No exceptions.”

“I gotta get someone, I mean somepony, to write these down for me. This sounds like fun.”

“Whenever you are done with the bar speak, I would like to speak to my guest,” Celestia says as she rounds the corner ahead of us, looking annoyed.

I adapt the air of politics and hope that speaking as such isn’t different here. “Sorry about that, Princess Celestia. We got caught up in a stallion to stallion talk about the strange cultural differences and similarities between our worlds. I must apologize for my tardiness, but your people are so very interesting to me and it’s not like they could ignore my questions or force me to move faster without being impolite. Shall we head on to the meeting?” Thankfully, she smiles. We enter a large room with two thrones. If it’s anything like my world, this is where they hold court.

After the guards have left us, she turns to me and chuckles lightly. “Drop the act, Wolf. My sister has shown me her memories of last night, so I know that your ‘noble’s manners’ facade is just an act. Actually, I’m glad it is. I get sick of the nobles, and the real you is a lot more interesting. However, I appreciate that you're trying to employ politics to get those guards out of trouble. The funny part, however, is that they got the duty of escorting you because they are already in trouble.

“Now, onto business. Luna seems to like you and you might not know it but that is actually an achievement. That means that I will enter this meeting with an open mind, despite the dangers you pose. I would like a full account of your abilities and I have some questions that Luna failed to ask. We shall start with the questions. You said you eat meat, however what you didn’t say was how you planned on acquiring meat in this world. I know your kind might be capable of living without it, however with your astral existence as a wolf, I doubt it is an option for you.”

“Actually, I have no idea. It was my plan to figure out a way to ask about that myself, you know, after I figured out how to ask without sounding like a monster craving flesh.”

“Our long standing allies the griffons might be able to help. They are omnivorous with a need to eat meat to survive as well. I will send them a letter requesting a consultation. Until then, by all accounts, fish are no more sentient than insects.”

“Actually, if you have salmon in this world I’ll be fine. They were my main source of protein and iron back in my world.”

“Excellent. We do have a fish named as such. It remains to be seen whether it is the same. My next question is about something that I hope is very different between worlds. Tell me about the draconequus you served.”

“Mystery? Well she was a high elder draconequus. Basically a goddess embodying a neutral concept; in her case, the concept of mystery. In her service I did my best to spread mystery and wonder throughout the world. Remember in Luna’s memories, how I explained that magic is secret and why? Well, she would have me break certain laws from time to time. For example, one time she had me dress up as a superhero and use my magic to play the role.” I laugh, remembering that insane month. I strike a hopefully heroic pose. “I am the mighty Anime Man! I protect truth, justice and the otaku way! Wielding all the power of mankinds greatest force, imagination!”

She looks uncomfortable, but is smiling. “I think the joke lost something in translation. It is still funny to picture you as a superhero straight from the comics, though.”

“Anime is pretty much comics that move. So replace anime with comic book for the sake of comprehension. I’ll have to practice dreamwalking again and give Luna a tour of my world. Just enough that she can understand certain things.”

“Wait, if your power was that of comic books, does that mean you had all of the powers?”

“I did my best but no, not even close. My favorites were the usual superhuman speed and strength. However, I ripped off a few moves like the Getsuga Tensho from Bleach and the Kamehameha from DBZ. I even pulled of a small spirit bomb once. Oh, right. You have no idea what I’m even saying. Anyways, I still had a lot of fun doing a lot of good. I cut crime rate in the city to half for three entire months. Then Mystery made me quit.”

“Why did she have you quit? If you’re doing good, then why not keep doing it? I did understand the bomb part. You have a bomb spell?”

“Long story short? People imitating me and getting hurt combined with a full assassin squad from the law-keepers guild. They told me if I didn’t stop, they would become the supervillains to counteract my superhero. I had no choice anyways. Orders are absolute.”

“Interesting. Does that mean that Mystery had you do bad things as well to cause mysteries? Like make a large group of ponies disappear to make a mystery?”

“Not exactly. She knew that in my heart I was a good person. She was also good, I believe. However, she did have me do some things I didn’t want to do. I wiped out an entire guild of mages to prevent the see-no-evil spell they were working on from getting out. I understand why I had to, it was a spell for mass mind control. Another time I was working as a bodyguard for a writer who was making a book revealing a lot of secrets. I had to kill a lot of people to protect him.”

“How many sentient beings have you killed? Actually, no. That doesn’t matter from what I’ve heard about your world. How many innocents have you killed?”

“No human is innocent. You mean people who wouldn’t have killed me or others for greed? People who wouldn’t have done unspeakable acts of evil had I not stopped them?”

“Indeed, such are no different than a monster in my book. So you haven't killed any innocents?” She sounds hopeful, I regret what I must tell her. I hang my head in shame and she take a step back.

“I have killed an innocent. It’s actually my only regret. When I was younger I killed a sparring partner. They were a specialist who used short term power boosting. We didn’t notice that his boost had worn off, and I hit him with full force. It was…” I trail off remembering the blood and suffering of my friend. We had done all we could to keep him alive, but he was weaker than most humans without the boosts. Cosmic limiters are a terrible thing.

“It is ok, Wolf. Such has occurred before in the training of the guard. We do our best to check each and every piece of safety gear however every few decades or so there is a failing. It is a tragedy but it is also fate. I know your pain all too well.” I look at her, and there is a sadness in her eyes. It’s an old, deep wound that haunts her. “Nopony is perfect. With immense power and foolish youth, mistakes have a way of being amplified.”

Luna enters the room with us. “Do you approve, sister?” Celestia nods and Luna continues, “Wolf, you are too powerful to run around and waste your abilities. I fear that without something to do you will go stir crazy and start doing dangerous things. Am I correct?”

“Well I was thinking of taking up monster hunting. That manticore proved this world needs someone to knock the monsters around a bit.”

“Excellent. I wish to revive the Lunar Knights. I will have you knighted in my name. It means that you will be bound to my orders, even should you disagree with them. If I tell you to trade your life stopping a monster from hurting a village-”

I cut her off, “Then I’ll kick the monster’s flank and ask if you really expected me to die from a little thing like that. They will be much better last words than my last set.” I’m rewarded with a small laugh from the pair, when a very small part of me thought they’d be annoyed at the interruption.

“Indeed. I am glad you don’t find this offensive. It is too similar to putting a dog on a chain for my tastes, however. You might not realize this, but there is some measure of political fallout from your arrival. A large part being how you refer to yourself as a knight. Being a knight grants you certain privileges and immunities that I’m certain will compensate you quite well.”

“So a very gilded collar?” I raise an eyebrow as I figure out exactly what she’s saying. Basically, I’m a dangerous sword that she would rather have in her hand than pointed at her. “This is a play to bribe my loyalty with a title and privileges,” I state flatly and they both look a little embarrassed. I smile broadly at them, “It’s working. You never had to bother. To be honest, Luna, I’ve been loyal to the night since the first time I saw the moon, and especially the moon on this world. That’s hardly different just because I’m in a new world, and the night is somepony I can talk to. Bare in mind, however, my loyalty to you only stands as long as your intentions are for the good of the people you rule.”

She nods, “I prefer it as such. Should I ever become a menace to those I am supposed to protect, feel free to remember that I am no longer the one who knighted you with intentions of helping everypony.”

“So what does a knight get in way of privileges?” I hope that isn’t too forward, however, the eager look in her eyes reminds me that I basically just asked her to go into detail about exactly what she’s bribing me with.

“You, in particular, will have access to the entirety of the royal libraries, permission to address royalty informally, as well as permission to keep and bare arms at all times. Furthermore, you have equivalent to the rank of captain yet you are beyond commander's authority when acting under my orders. You serve all royalty, but always remember your oath of fealty is to me.”

“Awesome. So basically, anything I want to learn I can and you're not willing to go the issue of trying to make me give up my collection? I was hoping I wouldn’t have to have that discussion again. Last time, the phrases ‘over my cold dead body’ and ‘I’ll give you my gear when you get a written note from everyone I took them from’ were thrown around way too much. On that note, I was thinking about that dagger. I was right, it is useful. I’ve never seen such a powerful antimagic enchantment that even hits astral and angelic powers.”

Celestia speaks up, “The nobles will be here soon.” She looks at me hurriedly, “Now you’ve got a choice. The nobles are coming and wish to meet you. You will be poked, prodded, insulted and questioned. I expect you to bear it with the strength of a real stallion and knight. If you feel that you cannot handle dealing with them, then go through those doors. Turn left twice, and go to the doors with the large golden sun on them. The guards are instructed to allow you in without revealing your location to anypony. I decided that it’s only prudent to have a backup plan when dealing with possible social anxiety and very sharp claws and fangs. You have admitted yourself that you are bad with social situations.”

“Good idea, but I’ll be fine. I’m always good in social situations, it’s the actual talking that messes me up. But I need some guidelines. First, if a noble does insult me, am I allowed to respond with a witty retort?”

We begin speaking as quickly as possible, trying to make sure I’m ready for the rapidly descending vultures.

“Be yourself. Honestly, it would amuse me if one of the more idiotic ones gets themselves disgraced. However, keep it witty and charming. Don’t just resort to name calling or something foalish. It’s only done right when everypony else is laughing at them, not at you.”

“How scary can I be?”

“Explain.”

“Do you want me to keep my powers under wraps or would you prefer they have a good idea of what I’m capable of?”

“Be honest, but do not volunteer information unless you feel you need to. That game where you showed off your incredible senses was amusing, and I wouldn’t mind seeing it myself.”

I hear the footsteps approaching the door. “They are almost here.” The princesses retreat to their thrones and I stand next to Celestia where she instructs me to. She has a final piece of advice for me.

“Be yourself, and don’t let your anger get the better of you.”

They enter, and I advance down the steps to greet them. They smile as they enter.

“I am Sir Wolf. It is a pleasure to meet you all.”

After the pleasantries, they begin the questions. I answer to the best of my abilities and it is a long and dreary affair where only certain interesting parts even catch my attention. One, a prince named Blueblood, is rather annoying. Soon, they get to the interesting part. The rumors about my powers. I perform some basic demonstrations. Small elemental displays such as tiny fireballs or small lightning bolts. I keep my shadow magic under wraps for now. When asked to turn into a wolf, I’m shocked to discover it works. I decide to figure out whether it’s something to do with this world or the fact that I’m in the same room as the embodiment of the moon later. Celestia announces that she wants to do a small game.

“Wolf, in this room right now is a being that’s not a pony, aside from you. I want to see if you can find him.”

I focus my senses. There is an oddly colored potted plant leaking chaotic energy, and two of the nobles have strange slow heart beats. They smell very different than the ponies around them, It’s a sweeter scent that I like, and it reminds me of roses and chocolate. I laugh.

“I smell a trick. I can find all three of ‘em.”

Celestia’s eyes narrow dangerously, and I hear the soft dangerous tone again. The two who smell different start smelling like fear. “Three?” she asks. I turn to the mare closest to me, and point at her, then at the other one. Finally, I point at the flower pot. “All of you, come forward now. Guards, prepare to capture.” Hesitantly, the two mares walk up to her. They are shaking with fear, and the look of terror and hatred they shoot at me pains my heart. I might have done a bad thing. The flower pot disappears and reappears as a draconequus next to Celestia. He glares at me, but I assume it is because of how easily I ended the game.

“Explain. Everything.” Celestia asks of the two mares. I walk up next to them. If something turns out to be off, I’ll protect them.

“We are changelings, Princess Celestia. We are starving, and have left our hive and the oppression of Chrysalis. We know you love your subjects and had hoped that we could survive on it. Please don’t banish us, it would be a death sentence. We would never do anything to hurt anypony, ever. We are different from the monsters who attacked Canterlot.”

It becomes clearer. Now is the time to see the true character of Celestia. Judge a ruler not by how they treat their allies, but how they treat their defeated enemies instead. Her face hardens and she turns to me.

“I know you can detect lies even better than I. Are they being honest?”

I stare at them. They have barely any heartbeats to read, and their voices did not betray them. My instinct tells me I would be unable to tell if they were lying. I shift back into human form, and begin carving glyphs on the floor from memory.

“Place your hoof on this, and swear that what you said is true. It might kill you if you're lying.” The one closest to me immediately shows an expression of hope and places her hoof on it swearing it’s true. The moment she takes her hoof off, the other follows suit. They look back to the princess, still afraid but looking hopeful. I have to verify it. I place my hand on it.

“My name is Joe. FUCK!” A bolt of lightning arcs out and sends me sprawling. “Well, I’m glad you were definitely telling the truth. That almost stopped my heart, and I had a lightning shield up. What the hay was that? That’s a minor glyph, it shouldn’t have been so…” I glance up at Celestia and wiggle my eyebrows, “shockingly powerful.”

Everypony is staring at me, except the draconequus who is laughing maniacally and hysterically. It’s an interesting blend of expressions. Celestia has an amused ‘Are you an idiot?’ type of look. The rest are varying between shock, disgust and outrage. I dust myself off and stretch, combing my hair back.

“So, what’s a changeling? Are they shapeshifters? What do they eat that they are starving?”

“They are shapeshifters that eat love. They take the place of somepony and feed on the affections of those that love them. I do not know what to do, I cannot allow them to do this in my kingdom, however they are just trying to survive.”

My brain goes into overdrive. Feeding on love? Any kind right? Can I do something with their talents? My mind explodes and it occurs to me. I turn to the one closest to me.

“Have you ever seen any famous singers?”

“Yes, why?”

“Turn into one, preferably one whose songs you know.” She looks at me like I’ve lost it, but she turns into a different mare in a flash of green light. She has a dark coat and mane with streaks of purple running through it.

She gives me a look and with a sultry alluring voice asks. “Now what, sugar?”

“Perfect, absolutely perfect. Now, you sing your favorite song of hers. Sing it like she would.”

“I’ll need music.”

The draconequus appears in front of her, dressed as a conductor. “I’m such a fan. Tell me the song and I will be happy to provide the music.”

“I want to do ‘Moonrise’.”

He waves his conductor's wand and a beautiful melody fills the air. As the changeling sings, I feel moved by the beauty of it. Nopony moves and can only stare in awe at the performance. When she is finished, everypony including Celestia stomps their hooves on the floor.

The changeling looks around shocked, “I’m being loved! I’m being loved, a lot!” She touches a hoof to the other changeling, and something green passes between them. Celestia rises and looks at me.

“This had better be going somewhere different than I think it is. Having them replacing singers is no different than anypony else.”

“It was an experiment to see if they could survive on admiration. I don’t know why they haven't done this yet. Think about it Celestia, they can change their voice and appearance at will, they are actors so perfect that I had to resort to glyphs in order to tell whether or not they were lying to me. How can you gain admiration on your own with that skillset?”

The draconequus appears in front of me with a paw extended, “I’m Discord, master of chaos. I like your devious plotting mind and creativity. I see why a high elder would hold you in such regard. Even if Mystery is a loose cannon who never makes sense, even to those who don’t make sense.”

“What are you two plotting?” Celestia looks annoyed.

“A grand theater! With them as the actors, everyone in all of Equestria would come to see. I, however, won’t charge for admission. Just a little profit on the extras and certain special shows when it needs more funding. I will need a place in Canterlot to put it, and I need more changelings to make it work. However, I will of course keep it in tight reins until they earn my trust,” I grin broadly.

The two changelings rush up to me and hug me. “I will return with some friends of mine. There are others out there who wish to be good ponies. I do have your permission for this, right Princess?”

Celestia looks conflicted. She’s finding it hard to do the right thing. Luna walks up next to her, “Indeed. No more than 10 for now. Do not make Us regret this or We shall allow you to witness the fury of a betrayed Wolf. I have witnessed his might and know that even We could be troubled by him.”

“How are you going to pay for this, Wolf?” Celestia asks with a sigh.

I turn and dig around in my pack. Producing a bar of silver, I hold it toward Celestia, “I have some things I can sell.”

Her eyes lock on the bar, but Discord appears next to me. “I cannot outbid the royal treasury, however, I can make an offer you can’t refuse. I want that. I will give you 10 gold bars, and assist you in every way possible to make this plan a reality. You find a place for it, and I will build the greatest theater the world has ever known.”

“I can offer more gold and the same,” Celestia says worriedly.

“I knew you would say that. I, however, have an ace. Wolf, your world is ruled by cruel gods. For every gift they gave you, they tacked on a curse. You have the astral connection to a wolf, however you are unable to use most of your magic in that form and, regardless of your form, you have a weakness to wind. This includes, but is not limited to, your fear of flying, your inability to use the wind elements, and your defensive spells being completely bypassed by anything with a wind aspect; the Royal Canterlot Voice, for example.

Discord disappears and reappears, winding around me. “You have an earth blessing that makes you stronger and more resilient. It lowers your intelligence the more power you put into it. Even when not in use, it still applies negative affects on you. I will remove all the cosmic limiters not recognized by this world that I can. I have to see how intricately woven they are, but I know I can at least remove the ones I mentioned. Think about it, in time and with the right tools, you could fly. This is on top of the previous offer, of course.” He appears sitting on the air next to Celestia, “Care to outbid that? Princess?”

“Why are you doing this, Discord? What is your game?”

“I enjoy poker and cribbage, however, I am pretty good at chess too.” He’s toying with her. Thinking about it, he could easily take the silver. He isn’t even interested in it. When he decided to outbid Celestia, he wasn’t staring at the silver, he was smirking at her. He should have easily known about the changelings, I realize. Not to mention the rage when they were uncovered. This isn’t about the silver. This is about saving face, pissing off Celestia, and doing the right thing all at the same time.

He rounds on me, “Do we have a deal?” A tiny version of him appears on the end of his nose. I can barely hear it, and I know no one else can. “And if you ever tell a soul about the real reason, I’ll turn you into an earth pony. Make it look good. I so love to watch Celestia squirm.” I hold out my hand, and he takes it in his lion’s paw. I pull him close and wrap the other arm around him in the Earth gesture of being bros.

“Why did you hug him?”

“I didn’t, that’s a contractor’s handshake. It’s magically binding.”

“So there is no talking you out of this?” She sounds defeated.

“Not alive, anyways,” I look at her as solemnly as possible. Celestia watches as I pass the silver to Discord. She actually begins to squirm as he begins a slow, evil chuckle. Twitching and shuffling as her expression shifts. She squeals like a mouse and Discord breaks out in insane laughter. Her eyes shoot wide and stare at him with something approaching fear.

“HAHAHA! You should see the look on your face! It’s absolutely priceless. I knew I could make you do that in front of your nobles one of these days. HAHAHA! This is perfect. Here, I’ll sell you this for ten gold bars.” He holds out the bar of silver. Celestia stares at him, and at the eyes of the room locked onto her. Many of the nobles are trying not to laugh, but several have failed. Discord’s right, this is priceless. I break down laughing and Luna joins me. Luna declares this the “Best prank this century.” Celestia bemusedly agrees to buy the bar from Discord for 10 gold bars.

“Celestia, my dear. Next time, think about it. It took Wolf all of two moments to figure everything out. While his thoughts about the absolute cores of my motives and reasonings were disturbingly accurate, anypony should have been able to figure out the three basic tells of this prank. One, if I truly wanted it for evil reasons, I would just take it. Wolf could only hurt me in a prolonged battle when he’s prepared the battlefield ahead of time. Two, starmetal is completely useless to me. It’s used for glyphs and magical devices, neither of which I can or even want to use. Three, I’m Discord. If my desires are obvious, then you're obviously wrong.” A copy of him appear next to him with a drum set. It plays the old punchline from comedy acts. BA DUM, TSS! It vanishes with a poof.

“So you both read each others’ minds to plot this prank?” Celestia looks shocked.

“Unfortunately, Wolf lacks that ability. I had to make do with reading his mind and speaking quietly. By the way, Wolf, I was serious about that threat. I will do it if you ever tell so much as a rock about me. I have an image to protect, and jokes like this don’t work if everypony knows that.”

So, who is she? I think loudly at him, enjoying the way he freezes. He turns and glares at me.

“Stay out of my head, pup. You just might annoy me.” He’s glaring, but his eyes betray his mirth.

So, we on to get some drinks later and talk about mares? I smile at him.

He matches my grin, “Sounds like fun. We can swap stories and cause some drunken chaos.” I feel a little bad for him, at least I had my family who understood me. He’s going to be a good friend. Nopony from this world would ever understand me completely. He’s also going to be a great business partner. Who said you couldn’t profit on doing the right thing? Even Luna looks a little worried at this.

“What are we witnessing? We cannot tell whether this is the beginning of a rivalry or friendship,” Luna says. “Either way, I don’t like the thought of it ending in a drunken God of Chaos and whatever Wolf is running amok in Canterlot.”

“That’s the beauty of it, my dear Luna. Should Wolf and I decide to battle it out, it could go either way. He can hunt me to the ends of the world to lay a trap capable of beating me. I, however, am far stronger than he is and just as cunning. He can still be a rival, though. His thing is stealth and assassination, after all. No cheaty Elements, no being untouchable because of being born an alicorn. Just pure power and skill. That’s why he can be a good friend.

“I care about my friends in Ponyville, I truly do, but they don’t trust or understand me. They fear me, and rightly so. It’s like how my darling Fluttershy is with her cute little animal friends. Not that I don’t love them all the same, but it gets boring.”

“So he’s your rival?” Celestia asks, looking disturbed.

I facepalm, “People like Discord and I don’t treat rival and friend as all that different. The best friends are also hardened rivals. The best rivals are also dear friends. Heres the thing; You think with this box. There is white up here and black down here. There’s this strip of grey in the middle. We, however, see some streaks of white and black in the grey, there’s a green section on this side of the grey, and a section here made out of telzuli. It’s a color that can’t be seen and only theoretically exists. I named it myself. Oh, and there’s this big ring around the outside that changes color at random, just because it wants to.” Discord has been sketching this out in the air as I talk, and Celestia has a hoof to the side of her face.

The door opens behind me. Without turning around, I say, “Hey Moon Light. What’s up?” I hear her stop walking.

“How did you know it was me?”

I turn and face her, pointing at my nose. “Do you really think I don’t know your scent yet? I could track you anywhere in the city.”

Discord waves away the diagram. “Careful, Wolf. That sounds either very insulting or like it’s insinuating something about the two of you.”

“What do you mean? I am a specialist at stealth and tracking, remember? I didn’t say she had a bad scent. Actually I like it, it’s richer and sweeter than most ponies. Very enjoyable.”

“Wolf, calm down, you're scaring the nobles.” Moon Light says with a soft smile. She moves and stands in a corner of the room. I start to walk over and talk to her, but Discord puts a claw on my shoulder.

“In case you’ve forgotten, we have a job to do. Luna, do you know of any well located plots of land or abandoned buildings? We need a place to put this theater. I like the idea of having it flying, but I suspect nopony would come.”

“Actually, I was thinking it would be best to put it outside the walls. There are few large enough areas in the city, and all are in bad areas for it. There is a perfect place off the main road by the water. I am looking forward to this, I love the theater and there are far too few of them.”

She and Discord stride to the door. I glance at Moon Light. “Go on ahead. I’ll catch up to you.”

“How will you find us?” Luna asks me only to look away in embarrassment at the double facepalm between Discord and I. Facepaw? FacePAWlm! Nailed it with a swag bolt. I walk over to Moon Light as the room begins to empty. A few linger, watching me with interested eyes. Celestia glares at them and they follow the others.

“Hey, Moon Light. How are you today? I got caught up in a project, but if I’m free tonight, want to go do something?”

“Like a date?” She smiles at me.

“Yup!” I smile broadly. She nods, and we walk out of the room. I explain exactly what the project entails and fill her in on the non-boring parts of the meeting. As we are walking, I shift into wolf form. It is weird being out in daylight in this state. I feel out of place and guess that the thestral walking with me isn’t much better.

“About last night..” I start, unsure what to say.

“Yeah? You know when I said not to touch wings, I hadn’t meant even in that kind of situation.” She pouts, “Seriously, I know you hadn’t meant for that to happen and neither did I. I enjoyed it, and honestly it makes it easier to go out with you. I’m always scaring off stallions because of my fangs and have never been with one before. They always lose it when I lose control and nip them.”

“That was your first time?” I asked shocked. She stops and kisses me.

“Yes, and it was with a strong, heroic stallion of the night who likes me despite how dangerous I am. It was wonderful. I’ve heard your first time is better when your partner is experienced anyways.” She turns and we begin walking again. A moment of silence passes as what she said sinks in.

“Guess we’ll never know about that. It’s not like a life of living alone in the mountains or running from large amounts of assassins is a good way to meet lots of girls. Not to mention the fact that even if I did meet a girl, it’s like being around a glass statue.”

She stumbles slightly, “Wait, that was your first time? That was your first time?”

“Yeah, I just kinda went with my instinct. Instinct always serves me well. I’m happy it was with you. I wanted it to be, however I was thinking along the lines of going on a few dates and having a committed relationship first.” I shoot her a grin, “And then you decided to set my veins on fire with a nibble, and I told waiting to go buck itself.”

“So what are you plans for the theater? There aren't a lot of free playwrights and existing plays are either private, overdone or bad. Actually, a lot are all three.”

“I love the theater a lot actually. I have all of Shakespeare’s works and many other plays as well. Actually, I have a lot of books from my world. Over one hundred.”

“How can you even move that backpack?” Moon Light’s eyes are wide and staring at it. I laugh inwardly and give her a cocky smile.

“I can actually hold them all in one hand without a single issue.”

She looks at me suspiciously, “What’s the catch?”

I pull out my electronic book. The small black device powers on as I stop walking. I pull up Romeo and Juliet and hand it to her. She stares at the words on the screen entranced. “What are these glyphs?”

“Say what now? That’s just writing.” I wonder if our worlds managed to have the same spoken language but different written ones. She uses her hoof to write Moon Light in the dust of the street. It’s a very messy form of cursive. I stare at it and make a few changes to make it into modern writing. “Now what does it say?” I ask her.

“It still says Moon Light, though it looks like a griffin wrote it.” I Trace my name into the dust. Her eyes light up and she stares back at the device. She concentrates on it one letter at a time, slowly reading. Somehow she manages to balance the device on one hoof and walk next to me. I realize there’s some form of magical grip to the hooves. It doesn’t take her long to get the hang of the different word style. We exit the city and find our way to where Luna and Discord are playing with the design of the theater. Luna is making suggestions and Discord is altering the building accordingly. They turn and greet me.

“How did you get past the part where we split up? Or where we teleported the rest of the way? What about where Discord sent several copies in random directions?” Luna looks cheated.

“I followed Luna’s scent the entire time and the teleportation was anticipated. I simply looked for the freshest trail of cosmic magic and followed it in a roundabout manner. You’ll need to try harder to beat me at my own game, Luna. I was called the Prince of the Night for a reason. Although meeting the real Princess of the Night makes that old nickname seem like calling my sword Excalibur,” I reply with a wolfish smirk as she laughs. “Why try anyways? Did you want me to skip out on my duties?”

“Actually, I thought you already planned on it. I was expecting you to have a long talk with Moon Light and get a little lost by neglecting your duties. I was not prepared for you to take your mare friend down to where you expect to encounter changelings. Are you taking the threat they can pose seriously?”

“Nope. Tell me worst case scenario, what might happen tonight.”

“A small horde of them shows up and takes her form. Then you have to fight them all while trying to discover the real one while hitting somepony that looks and sounds exactly like her.”

“So at what point do I hug the real one and have Discord turn the rest into apples?”

“Why apples?” She looks slightly disturbed by that one.

“I like apples. I stand by the statement that my favorite food is anything made with apples. Just because I need meat to survive doesn’t mean it’s my favorite food, though I love… Nevermind.” I cut off before I describe something that will disgust and horrify Luna and Moon Light. They look at me with a bored expression.

“I spent time on the griffin’s Iron Mountain. Meat doesn’t disturb me in the slightest.” Moon Light smiles.

“I was Nightmare Moon. I’ve eaten ponies before,” Luna says dryly, smiling at my shocked look. “It’s a joke. One of the many legends about when I was evil is that I used to eat children who didn’t give me a candy offering on Nightmare Night.”

Sensing an excellent opportunity for an original play that I guess nopony would have the nerve to do, I press for details. “I would love to hear the full story. Perhaps we can put the play of it in our roster?”

“Nopony would dare make a play about such histories. I will tell the story, perhaps this is the first time of it being told from my perspective.” She sits down and stares into the distance a moment, collecting her thoughts. “Since my sister and I defeated Discord the first time, I have been the Princess of the Night. Ponies love and cherish my sister and her day, but fear and hate me and my night. Ponies still do, I’m afraid. They fear the dark and ignore the beauty of my moon. They do not know that I do not bring the night truly. I bring the moon. I bring light to the darkness without destroying the harmony of day and night. Many times I have gone to save somepony from their nightmares only to discover it was myself they feared.

“Over the years, I grew cold and hateful. I was jealous of my sister, and I hated ponies for not loving me. As my thoughts turned to darkness, I lost my sanity slowly. I began hearing a voice in my mind that was my voice and yet it was not. One morning, when it came time to lower the moon and allow my sisters sun to rise, I refused. My dark side had come to full power, and I became corrupted. I told Tia that if ponies wanted to fear me as a nightmare, then I would become Nightmare Moon. I tried to slay my sister, and she turned the Elements of Harmony against me. I was sent to the moon for a thousand years as my sister took over my duties.

“I began using what power I had, and over the course of one thousand years I stored power in a star. I waited until the Summer Sun celebration, a sacred day all about my sister and her dear sun, and returned. I was pursued on my way to destroy the elements by a group of ponies. The small part of me that was still kind and good refused to let me kill them. So I placed traps in front of them. They had been willing to venture into the night, so I gave them a chance.

“I tested them on the virtues. Had they failed a single test, then I would have not needed to worry. I failed to defeat them with my traps, and in the end I was defeated when they wielded the Elements against me. The Harmony burned all the evil out of me, and I became sane again. My sister forgave me and I her. I have come to accept that the night belongs to the night ponies and the day belongs to the day ponies. My followers might be smaller in number, but they are still my beloved children.”

She finishes with a smile directed at Moon Light, who blushes and looks away. I wonder what she would be like as an evil pony. I want to say something, but have no idea what. Luna turns back to the task at hand, “Discord, perhaps we should try and add a touch of darkness to it. Not enough to be foreboding, but enough to be reminiscent of the night.”

We all make suggestions to Discord, and eventually we settle on the design. It is a massive building of dark wood. It has a blank sign where the name will be. Lots of red and deep blue hangings adorn the outside. I walk up the the doors. They are heavy ornate doors that open far too easily to not be magic. We begin designing the inside, creating a large ornate stage in front of a massive amount of incredibly comfy seats. There are several balconies overlooking the stage.

Soon Discord disappears, and twelve changelings enter. They are disguised as all types of ponies. One is even a thestral without fangs. The one impersonating the thestral smells different from the others, with a more compelling scent. I hear a strong heartbeat from her, and she approaches me with a deep bow. “I am Jade. I hope to serve your hive well. If you will allow me, I’ll assist in managing the hive. As a royal changeling, my orders must be followed by any who are in my hive. I am grateful for the show of friendship you have offered, and am intrigued by this plan.”

“I would prefer to see all of you for you, if you don’t mind. I never did get to see a changeling’s true form.”

They are all enveloped in a flash of green, revealing small black buglike creatures with random holes. The one who was a thestral is taller and ponylike with a curved horn. She has black skin with streaks of blue in her coat, dragonfly wings, and a spiky yellow mane with holes in it. They are interesting, to say the least.

I address Discord, “Now for the hard part, I have a lot of plays that hopefully have never been seen in this world. Are you able to work some kind of magic and turn the story Romeo and Juliet from the device Light is holding into scripts? Hopefully, scripts translated from old english into modern ponified versions of it.”

Discord picks up the device. He stares at it and looks worried. Apprehensively, he raises a claw and snaps his fingers. The theater is filled with books of all shapes and sizes. I recognize many of them as the books on my device. He looks around shocked then shrugs, “I outdid myself and turned all the stories into books. I never should have doubted myself.”

“Awesome bro, wait… all of them?” My eyes go wide and I gulp. There are a lot of questionable books in this pile. “Nopony look through these. There are books of untold evil that corrupt all who read them within that pile.”

Moon Light is suspicious. “Then how are you not corrupted?”

I give a wide evil look at everypony around me, “I’m a creature of the night that has killed more than I can count, often by latching onto their throats and draining them of blood and magic. I specialize in shadow and assassination magic. What is left to corrupt? The last vestige of innocence I had I lost last night. Not that I’m gonna complain in any way shape or form about it,” I finish with a smirk. Everypony takes the bait and backs away from the pile, looking worried.

I begin sorting the books into four piles. Stash in my pack, useable for plays, donate to a library, and to be incinerated. After I’m done sorting and have stashed several books in my pack, I carry the rest outside. I bring a fireball to bear and blast away with a stream of white flames that destroy all the books. I turn back to them and see Luna stash a book behind her back. She’s not fooling me with that blush. I shift into wolf form. Her heartbeats are elevated, and she has a familiar sweet scent. Of all the books to find, it had to be one of that type.

Everypony shouts as I drop an area of darkness on them. I dash in and leap at the book, trying to snatch it before Luna can react to me and figure out what I’m doing. Luna easily dodges my bound in her direction, and I hear a small laugh as she tries to get behind me. I roll to the side and go for a full on assault, but I sense her eyes on me the entire time and I realize she can see through my spell. The darkness vanishes and reveals Luna with her horn glowing and a smirk on her face.

“This is so not fair,” I complain.

“That was an interesting spell. A complete and focused illusion of perfect darkness in an instant while performing a polymorph spell. All while calculating the movements needed after the lights went out. Impressive indeed.”

“Actually, it wasn’t an illusion. It was actual darkness. I countered all the light with shadow magic and created an area where light wasn’t allowed in. Can we agree to never speak of this to anyone? Ever? Including the part about shadow magic?”

“Show me this shadow magic of yours and I’ll return this so-called Kama Sutra book to you. It is useless to ponies anyway, as our anatomy is too different.”

I’m glad my wolf form hides the lecherous grin and tone as I say, “I wouldn’t bet on that, but I’ll accept.”

I transform back to human form and draw a wand from my pack. After leading everypony outside, I focus shadow magic into the wand and flick it, releasing a blade of darkness into the sky. It impacts the cloud I aimed at and slices it in half. The edges of the cut remain wreathed in shadows that devour the rest of the small cloud; causing the sleeping light blue pegasus on the cloud to awaken and fly off groggily. Luna gasps. I focus again, and this time I make the shadows into sticky orbs that attach to things. Finally, I show them my master work.

“This is why they called me the Prince of the Night and Lord of Shadows. Behold, my army.” I put away my wand and draw my staff, charging it with shadow magic. Everypony steps back as I become wreathed in shadows. The shadows form into twelve wolves standing behind me. The wolves walk towards the ponies and sit down in front of them. It isn’t easy to make wolves molded of shadow and darkness look cute, but I think I managed. Luna squees and pets the wolf nearest to her.

“D'awww can I keep him?” The wolves fade into mist as I dismiss the spell. “Is that all you can manage? That’s not really long enough to be useful.”

“Long enough to start draining my power. I don’t want to exhaust my reserves without a reason. Remember, my magic is different than a unicorn. I can’t just get a good night’s sleep and be back to full strength. It takes lots of time or a source.”

She floats the book over to me. Truly I haven't read much of it, and I debate whether to incinerate it or keep it. I throw it on the ground. I wasn’t intending to be some kind of sex god, and Luna was right to a degree about anatomies. Luna yanks the book out of the line of my flames. I turn to her shocked.

“You know I wouldn’t judge you for keeping this, right? It makes sense to want to do your best in that area. I don’t know about your world, but here a stallion is often judged by his abilities in that area. A version of this book for our world would be worth a princess’s ransom.”

“I can go on my instinct in that area, I don’t have any intention of being some kind of playboy.”

“What’s a playboy?” She is hiding her real level of interest behind a mask of mild curiosity, but fails to contain the force of her gaze.

“Someone who sleeps with a lot of mares, and often they sleep with as many as four or five different mares a week. It sounds like an unfulfilled and boring life to me. I want to find love, someone to make my life more than an endless battle with countless foes,” I reply.

“Sounds like a normal stallion to me. Is this uncommon in your world? How do the mares stay happy without stallions like this? Does that mean a lot of mares grow old without experiencing a stallion?”

“Why would they?”

“There are four mares for every stallion, do the math. Without playboys, as you call them, that means three mares of every four are never going to experience a stallion.”

“Woah, what's the gender ratio here?”

“Four to one, mares to stallions. Why? Is it different in your world?”

“Extremely. It’s about six to four, stallions to mares.”

“That's.. A lot of stallions.. “ Moon Light cuts in, I notice a blush forming on many of the mares’ faces.

“Wait, so what about marriage? Does that mean only one in four ever get married?”

“No, why would it? It’s not like you can only have one wife.”

I stare at her and gasp as my entire concept of morality and sanity comes crashing down. Ponies are polygamists. Polygamist nudist perverts, the lot of them, and they thought I was bad for responding to a rather insulting question with an innuendo. Then it clicks. Of course innuendos like that are insulting. In a world where all the males are playboys and all the mares are perverts, innuendo is overkill. It’s like being an amateur swordfighter who takes a big fancy pose before the opponent has even drawn a blade.

“I think he’s broken. He looks like he’s doing a lot of thought. Let’s finish the theater and leave him to do whatever this is.” Luna leads everypony else inside and I stare after them in shock. Moon Light stays with me.

“Are you going to be okay? What’s the matter?” she asks, walking to stand next to me. I just stare at her.

“My entire concept of social and moral standards just got ripped out and tossed away like garbage. Tell me something, if we ended up married would you expect me to go off and find another mare?”

“Of course not. If we married, I would be head mare and it would be my job to find compatible mares to add to our herd.”

I lay down. The grass against my stomach comforts me and I begin to calm down. “I need a full and complete understanding of how exactly dating, marriage and family works here. My world is different. We are mostly monogamous and polygamous is considered a crime that is quite stupid.”

“Why stupid?”

“Keeping one mare happy is difficult enough. Imagining trying to keep them all happy is rather.. daunting.”

She lays down next to me and leans against me. “I see. Let’s start with basic dating and move on from there. When a stallion decides he has enough experience in love and believes himself capable of starting a herd, or if he just realizes he’s going to be too old to be virile enough anymore, they start serious dating. They look for mares who are perfect to their tastes and possess the mental strength to keep his future mares in line.

“Dating is basically meeting up for an activity. Anything from dinner to a walk through the woods. The important part of a first date is communication and learning more about your partner. At the end of the date, the stallion will tell the mare whether or not they met the stallion’s approval with a kiss. No kiss means the date went horribly. A short, simple kiss means either the stallion is unsure or inexperienced. A passionate one lets the mare know exactly how much the stallion loves her. If the mare wants to move further in the relationship, they will give the stallion a gift. All the races have different gifts they hold sacred for dating customs.

“Thestrals, for example, give the stallion a lock of our manes. Actually, most night ponies do this. Earth ponies give flowers matching the stallion and mare’s coat, so I’m unsure how they would do this for you. Perhaps a black flower for your mane or wolf form? Either way, a special flower. Pegasi give feathers from their wings and unicorns give something magical that they made themselves. Something like a locket that plays a meaningful song when opened.

“After this exchange, they continue dating, and eventually when they feel the time is right they get married. After they have been married for a time the mare finds another mare, or in rare case a stallion, and introduces them to the relationship. It starts with the mare going on dates with the prospective member of the herd, and if they feel they are fit to be in the herd, they take them on a date with the stallion. The dating process continues and if they are accepted into the herd they marry the existing couple and become the second mare. Most herds are a stallion, two to three mares, and whatever foals there are. Got everything straight now?”

“What about fidelity?” I ask, my mind threatening to crack under all this knowledge. “How does a stallion provide for and keep so many mares happy?”

“I don’t understand. What is fidelity? Mares are quite capable of providing for themselves, and as for happiness you simply love the ones you're with.” Moon Light has placed her head on my paws. Luna is raising the moon and darkness soon covers us. I feel myself calming down again as the moon rises in the sky.

“Fidelity is, in a nutshell, only loving the one you're married to and remaining faithful to them.”

“Your society is monogamous, correct? I suppose this might come as a shock then. This is a foreign concept to me. I understand how many stallions want to be the only stallion a mare loves. I accept and respect that. I am a firm believer in a herd is supposed to be a single powerful stallion with mares who follow him. Is it so bad if your mares play with other mares to find one worth bringing to be yours as well?”

“It’s a lot to think about. What about interspecies relationships?” I ask, hoping that it isn’t a taboo or otherwise stands as a barrier between us. I shift back to being human and sprawl out on the grass.

“That depends. Between the pony races it is not even a concern. However, between species that would prevent the bearing of foals and it can be a problem. Many are against herds that can bear no children. You yourself, should you choose to settle down, will find some who would be perfect for you but are unwilling to commit because you cannot sire children.”

She stares at the moon for a while. Finally, she answers. “I am not. Love is hard enough without making it harder. However, it is not me you would need to convince. My father would take a great deal of convincing to allow his eldest and only child to enter a relationship with a stallion who could not carry on our line.”

I close my eyes as I try and absorb all of this information. This is complicated. Long story short, if I want to be in a serious relationship with Light then I need to properly court her and then prove to her father that despite being unable to carry his line I would be the best future for his daughter. It’s a daunting task, but I believe myself to be up for it.

“You know that the date I asked you out on is my wanting to try, as you put it, settling down, right?” I ask her.

“Is it? You’re actually serious about me? Why?”

“I need a reason?”

She gives me a deadened almost hurt stare at my little joke. Her voice cracks on her reply. “Yes.”

“Sorry, that came out wrong. What reason would I have to not love you? You’re strong, intelligent and interesting. Not to mention beautiful and absolutely adorable. Let me get to know you better and I’ll be able to give you a better answer.” I smile and she smiles back warmly. Her fangs glisten in the moonlight.

“Alright. Then I will consider us as considering being serious. It’s usual for couples not to be with each other physically during this time, to be certain it’s not just an attraction of the bodies.”

“Perfectly fine by me,” I don’t like it but I will accept it.

She stares at me with a sultry gaze, “Not by me,” she smiles and kisses me deeply. As I kiss her, I get a vague feeling I’m forgetting something. I run a hand through her mane, pulling her closer into the kiss. The memory of where I am and what I’m supposed to be doing jars me. She pulls away looking shocked. “What is it? Are you ok?”

I let out a small chuckle, “I just kinda remembered we were out in front of my work and everypony is inside waiting for me, or possibly watching me.” I realize I am being watched and look at the theater. A dark shape looms from the balcony window. Luna is watching us with a smile playing across her face. She sees me notice her and waves, gesturing me to come inside. Absolutely shameless.

I pull Moon Light to her hooves and we walk inside. Everypony is currently reading through matching scrolls. Discord poofs in front of me wearing a tux and looking the part of a director of plays.

“I took the liberty of passing out ponified versions of Romeo and Juliet. All the other books have been stored on shelves in the plotting room in the hive I created beneath us. I’m glad you joined us. We will be holding a role sorting soon. It turns out that you were right about their acting skills, however they had some issues at first with becoming somepony they’ve only read about. I can’t say I understand this play. I read it and it seems so sad. Why would you do a tragedy first?”

“Young love cut so short so soon. I want the audience to fall in love with the actors and be moved to deep emotions. If any play is memorable, it is this one. Even I would cry a tear seeing it performed by superb actors. They will be loved and admired for their skill and their parts if it is done well. More importantly, it will cause a lot of talk amongst everypony and they will come back. Their friends will come. Eventually, word of this will reach the farthest corners of Equestria. I want a copy of the script. I need to see it with the alterations to make sure nothing was lost in translation.”

Discord snaps his fingers and a scroll falls before me. I catch it and begin reading. Nothing has been lost, however some things have been seriously altered. The king has been replaced with Celestia. Lethal swordfights have been replaced by brawling. Only three ponies die in the new version. Tybalt, who is now the Prince of Stallions as opposed to the Prince of Cats, and of course Romeo and Juliet. It still holds all its dark beauty. Discord explains the part of killing off Paris as insulting to the royalty while Luna grumbles about Blue Blood.

The auditions start quickly. Predictably, Romeo and Juliet are the most vied for roles. Jade ends as role of Juliet. However, after all the actors have been placed, I still don’t have a Tybalt. Nopony wants to play the one who seems the villain of the piece.

“We are missing Tybalt,” Luna notes.

“I’ll play him, he’s my favorite character,” Discord and I stand and say together and turn as one and glare at each other. “Quit copying me,” We say as one and the glaring intensifies. He probably feels the same way about it as I do. He is a creature of chaos after all. “Let’s go audition then,” we say, a smile on our faces.

Luna and Moon Light look back and forth between us. “Creepy,” they say in unison and look at each other in surprise. They blush and stare at the stage. Discord poofs onto the stage in the form of a ponified version of Tybalt. I leap towards the stage, landing as a wolf. I look at Discord apprehensive. He can actually look the roll. The changeling selected to be Romeo comes to help us play our roles.

Discord goes first. He is overly dramatic and wrecks the mood during his death. I go second. I’ve played Tybalt before and truly get into character. At the end of my performance, Luna claps her hooves together excitably.

“We have a winner!” she proclaims. Discord bows to me.

“Indeed we do! I was moved by your rendition of Tybalt. Your experience in the part was an edge I was wholly unprepared for.”

“Don’t worry, Discord. You’ll do a great job as every minor character in this one. Also, I suspect you will love to play Oberon in our next play. He’s lord of the fairies. What that translates to in it’s ponified version, I have no idea. However, you will also do well as Robin Goodfellow, the trickster.”

We perform a script in hoof rundown of the play. Even without props or completed actors, it is an excellent first run. After two hours we leave the changelings to get some sleep. Moon Light and I set out to find what date we can with the moon so high in the sky. Canterlot is quiet and lonely. We decide to go for a walk through the woods outside the city.

We stop just outside of the city gates. She leans in and steps back before kissing me, giving me a coy smile. “I’m not gonna give you a kiss, you're gonna have to catch me and take it.” She takes off into the air, heading toward the forest. Thankfully she isn't as fast as a lot of pegasi are and I can easily keep pace while sprinting after her. I’m prepared to shift into wolf form if she starts getting faster, but I want to be able surprise her. I doubt ponies are used to the concept of climbing trees to catch something flying. Even if they are, I’m willing to bet I can climb faster than she expects.

The forest draws closer. She stays close to the treeline and I run ahead, dodging out of her line of sight. I quickly climb a tree and leap up to catch her by the hooves. She yells in surprise at the sudden ambush. Her wings flap twice as she tries to hold us both aloft. Unable to get any ground, she tries to bite me off, sinking her teeth into a cocoon of shadows I place around my arms. She tucks her wings in and we drop into the forest.

I’ve seen this trick before and simply pull her into a secure grip. My arms are around her, carrying her like I did after the fight with the manticore. Shadows rip the branches out of our way as I land heavily on the ground. The shock of the impact jars me. She has a big smile on her face and growls at me while struggling to escape.

“Release me or I’ll bite you! Hard,” she says. I hear something creeping into her voice on the edge of her mock anger. I ignore her demands and pull her face close to mine. She bares her fangs at me as I hold her an inch from mine. How am I supposed to kiss her with her lips so far apart? I figure out her game and I bare my own fangs and growl back. She recoils and I dart in, placing a kiss on her lips. She kisses me back passionately and, with my grip relaxed, wraps her hooves around the back of my head.

After we reluctantly break apart, she stares at me. I can’t read her expression. I can see lust, awe and something more.

“So that's what it’s like on the other side of my growl. I was afraid of you for a moment. When you went in for the kiss I was worried you were going to bite me for a moment.”

“Sorry about scaring you.”

“Don’t be. I have very specific things I’m looking for in a stallion, and anypony who isn’t stronger than me is completely unredeemable. Don’t think I doubted you for a moment, but if you hadn’t managed to catch and overpower me like this it would have been the end of our dateing.”

I smile and run a hand through her mane. She closes her eyes and I nip her neck. I love the feeling I get when she shivers and her eyes shoot open with a look of absolute lust.

“You know according to the rules of dating, sex is forbidden during the initial dating period.” Her voice has a whispery quality and her eyes are piercing in their intensity.

I chuckle and sigh, “Rules are annoying. I wouldn’t force you to break them.”

A flash of sadness then one of inspiration. “Is that out of respect to me or the rules?”

“I don’t give a damn about rules. I only care about you. If you want to be perfectly chaste until our relationship progresses, I’ll accept that. I’m not going to do anything to hurt you.” I shoot her an evil smile. “Unless you enjoy that in more ways than just a little biting.”

Her eyes get big and her gaze draws me in. She puts a hoof to my chest and pushes. I see a flash of frustration in her eyes as I remain unmoving and she drives both her forehooves into my shoulders. She sits on my chest, staring down at me with her big intense violet eyes. It’s a little hard to breathe.

She starts looking disappointed and then pouts. I can smell her so close to me, but out of my reach. “Are you torturing me?” I ask. Then it clicks at her confused face. Ponies’ necks are a lot more flexible. I place my hands behind her and yank her in reach, licking her. She moans at the contact and shifts closer. I explore her with my tongue as her breath starts coming out ragged. Her scent and taste cause my brain to fog as instinct takes over. I growl as she begins rocking against me. Her body spasms as she moans and she falls off to the side, placing a hoof and wing over me.

I meet her gaze with a smile. I kiss her and when our contact breaks, I nip the base of her neck. She moans and rolls onto her back submissively. I begin trialing my hands over her muscles and tracing the lines of her body. She has many scars that speak of battles survived. My hands reach her wings and she spreads them almost reflexively at my touch, and I gently explore her wings from the outside in. I take note of the spots she moans. My hands reach the place where her wings meet her body and she gasps.

“Mmm, how long.. are you going to keep.. teasing me?” she asks in between moans and gasps. I pull off my clothes and kneel between her hind legs, toying with her with the head of my shaft. Slowly I begin entering her. My hands free, I resume exploring her body as our hips meet. I slowly and teasingly begin to slide it out.

“Please.. Buck me,” she begs and I reward her as I begin thrusting. She gasps at the sudden change of pace and nips my shoulder. Thankfully she doesn’t freak out this time when a small amount of blood comes from the cut. She stares at it fascinated for a moment and latches onto the cut, sucking my blood passionately. I moan at the sensation. Acting on instinct, I bite the base of her neck and draw a trickle of her blood. I thrust into her as the energy flowing through us from the blood ritual heightens our pleasure.

We pull away from each other and cry out as one as we cum together. I faintly hear a cracking sound I ignore as all the sensations and power flow along my body. I roll to the side and begin to get dressed. She stands looking dizzy, and slowly a bunch of emotions cross her face.

“I drank your blood… I liked it… It felt wonderful…” Her voice is hesitant and quiet. I hear a lot of emotion in her voice.

I hope she calms down and I wait for her emotions to decide what to do. Her eyes lock onto mine and her lust is written plainly on her face. She coils her legs like she’s preparing to leap at me, “I want more!” She launches at me her voice one of lust and hunger. She reminds me of one of the vampires from my world. How would a mutual ritual of give and take awaken such an impulse? Suddenly it occurs to me that her fangs and disposition to biting aren't just for looks. Thestrals must descend from or currently are this world's vampires. As this train of thought arrives at the station her hooves impact my shoulders again, knocking me back.

My own instincts kick in and I refuse to be dominated. We roll through the forest wrestling and nipping, fighting for top. Finally my strength wins out over her greater willingness to inflict damage and I straddle her, pinning her hooves with my arms and legs. My fangs are bare and I growl. Something clicks in her eyes and they shrink to normal size. She looks away with a look of shame.

“Go ahead and be yourself. Just be gentle and don’t take too much. I’m going to be myself and never be dominated.” I smile down on the mare. I hear how my voice sounds a lot like the wolf’s but don't care. Her head yanks around in surprise as her eyes meet mine. She gently lifts her head and nips my shoulder causing a small cut that she presses her lips to. I feel myself harden instantly at the sensation. She notices and shifts her hips invitingly. I enter her again, but this time is far more primal with our inner beasts brought to the surface and welcomed by the other. I thrust deep and hard as I keep her pinned. She moans as she makes several new holes when the last one stops bleeding as freely.

She yanks her head away as she releases a screech that turns into a whimper as her body shakes from an orgasm. I growl in satisfaction of the mare’s pleasure and my own as I release my seed into her. She kisses me and I taste my blood on her lips. She lays her head on the ground content and I lay next to her.

“You accepted my dark side, completely and without any hesitation other than the fact that I was challenging your dominance.”

“Well, I have a dark side of my own. How could I resist that submissive pure desire for me? You submitted to me as a mare and I wanted to reward you in any way possible. So are all thestrals vampires? Or is that something special about you?”

“Neither and both. My family is the thestral equivalent to nobles. We don’t need blood to survive like the vampires of old, however we do still possess the instincts for it.” I hear a double heartbeat coming and dash to collect my clothes. I’m just pulling my pants on and looking around for a shirt when Luna lands.

“What happened here? Wolf what happened to you? Were you attacked?” She’s staring at the blood trailing down my bare chest.

“You might say that. I’m fine, nothing happened really.”

She glares pointedly behind me. The trees are covered in slashes, many of which still have shadows trailing from them. Several trees are knocked over. Oops. Moon Light steps forward and Luna looks at the blood on her muzzle with a small, “Oh.”

“Wolf, Moon Light, I am disappointed in you both. Moon Light, you need to control yourself better and explain yourself before doing something like that. Wolf, I know thestrals can be scary when they get like that, however you should not use such powerful magic against them. How did all of this even happen?”

Moon Light starts to look away ashamed, I place a hand on her head and gently scratch her ear. I smile at Luna, “Not even close, you have two more guesses. Wanna keep trying or give up?”

“So what happened? Obviously Moon Light attacked you and you attacked something.” She is staring around looking for more clues, signs of other involved party.

“Nope. One more guess.” I cut her off with a chuckle. Moon Light is looking around confused.

“What did you do to the trees? Actually, when? Was this while we were wrestling?” Moon Light looks a little worried.

I decide to stop holding them in suspense. It’s fun to mess with Luna, but I don't want to mess with Moon Light. “We had an incident involving her vampire instincts triggering one of the blood rituals of my world I told you about. I lost control of my power. Don’t worry, Moon Light was perfectly safe. Anything close and able to hide itself from my senses and watching us like a creep, however, was not so safe. It’s fine, I am glad it happened here though. I would hate to end up slashing apart whatever room I’m gonna be staying in at the theater. I’ll have to put up wards against my magic when I get a bedroom.”

“You're not staying in the castle any more?” Luna asks, looking disappointed.

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome. Not much need to occupy one of the Ambassador rooms when I already own a place to sleep. One where I can finally make a proper den, complete with spells and a display. Oh, and I can’t wait to make a proper arcane workstation!”

“I see. I understand. There is one thing I don’t understand though.” She has a small smile. “Why are there so many cuts on both of you? I understand one or two on Wolf, but why both of you? Are you hiding the good parts?”

Moon Light and I look at each other with a grin. Luna chuckles at the confirmation.

“Honestly Wolf, you do not need your sense of smell to smell that in the air. Why were you two doing that in the middle of the woods? What if a patrol had flown over?”

“What can I say? Sometimes things just happen, and you should just let them happen and deal with the fallout later. What’s the worst that could happen even if a patrol saw us?”

“They could get caught up in their instincts and want in on it. Get that smirk of your face. I meant wanted in on your blood. In the past, nobles shared their prey. The sight of Moon Light pinning you down and drinking your blood, they would have wanted to join her.”

I smirk, “Like she could ever pin me down like that. I’m an Alpha, I don’t get pinned down and treated like a snack.”

Luna looks shocked, “So you pinned her and let her bite you anyway? Are you insane?”

“Yes to the second, however I don’t feel like discussing my love life with a princess.”

Luna looks hurt, “I had hoped you thought of me as more than just a princess.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, let me rephrase. I don’t feel like discussing my love life with the boss of my lover, even if they are a good friend.”

She giggles, “Fair enough. However, she’s off duty tonight.” She has a look of chagrin. “Unlike me. I must be going.” She turns and flies off into the sky. Well, that was abrupt. I turn to Moon Light and we share another grin before heading back to where we were.

Author's Note

Author’s Note: Another chapter, as promised. Yay for the powers of bribery! Seriously though, hope I haven't scared anyone off with the little excessively questionable content here. Unfortunately I’m insane and intend to dip into a lot of interesting things throughout the story, so all I can promise is it will always be consensual, hinted at earlier, and adult. Now as for Wolf’s interaction with royalty and his at ease nature with them, at this point he’s thinking of them as simply being royalty. He’s had experience with royalty during his years of wandering and despite holding them in high respect, he knows that grovelling serves no purpose beyond marking you as yet another commoner.

Woah, he’s getting all serious with Moon Light now? That’s too bad I wanted to ship him with Luna, though something seems off with his interactions with her. It’s almost like-

Pinkie, just because you're my co author doesn’t mean you can give away spoilers like this. Just let them enjoy the ride. Though I will agree that something is off about his interaction with Luna. Does he hold some deep hidden past? Is he simply afraid of her? Has he fallen victim to royalty-are-somehow-different-from-everypony-else disease?

Why ask all these questions when you know all the answers? Even I know it’s because he thinks that all parties are the same, just because they all have the same balloons and fun, doesn’t mean the themes or people don’t make them completely different.

Velvet Dash walks in with a confused, and then hurt expression.
But.. But I thought I was your coauthor?

Anyways guys, let’s hope everything goes great for Wolf, after all he’s the hero of this story, it’s not like he’s going to have his heart ripped out this early on in the story, right?

Editor’s Note: Ugh. I hate herd dynamics. No wonder I didn’t feel compelled to edit this. Oh well, have to anyway. Sorry for the delay. Also, please read the story I posted. It is the Velvet Dash version of Coyote’s Writer’s Block. Ugh.. Herd dynamics.. Wait.. What about Shining Armour and Princess Cadence? Please don’t ruin that! :’( I know you’re insane, but don’t kill that. Truthfully though, I am so unimpressed with that part of this chapter. A bit furious, actually. But hey, as long as Coyote keeps feeding me ice cream, I’ll keep rewriting.