//-------------------------------------------------------// My Little MACHINE -by MrYuss- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// The Rift //-------------------------------------------------------// The Rift I do not own anything in the story except, Casimir, and the plot. START MLM Chapter 1 The Rift I am walking away from the remains of what used to be my home (If you could call it a home) thinking about what is going to happen next. Maybe some laying low for a while? Or possibly just fleeing as fast as I can? What? You need some context? Very well. Flashback Time! (Wavy flashback transition noise) Name? Casimir V. Ironic considering what I like to do, and what I will become later. Age? 16 years, And before you ask, Male, 5' 6'', brown eyes with blue glasses, medium length nearly black, brown hair, species Homo Sapiens. For the sake of the story chose to be racially ambiguous. Think of me however you like. I live in The United States, as a student at Bullworth Academy. Honestly, I hate people here. They are corrupt, cruel, and just some of the worst humanity has to offer in terms of adolescents. Yeah, I have slight misanthropy. What of it? Humans have committed some atrocities in their time on Earth, but I wouldn't give up being one. Because, outside of those crimes, we have achieved what most have thought to be impossible. I wish I could just get out of here. My thoughts during my time here have been directed mostly toward escaping this pit. Since I arrived here my primary objective was to escape. I spend the extra time I have, making “contraptions” and hiding them around the school. Meanwhile I have been studying the science behind how the universe works, so I can exploit my environment to its fullest. Anyway, I finished creating my final “contraption”, and was almost ready to leave. I needed to do a few things before I could escape effectively though. I make it to the dorms, and dived under my bed, grabbing my backpack that I had prepared for this situation. Step one complete. Now for step two. I head towards the main building and the server room. I sneak into the server room, and turn on the computer. I get in,(school computer security is crap. Amarite?) delete my file, records, and history from the school computer. Step two done, and finally it's time for step three. MAKE STUFF ASPLODE!!!! Every “contraption” that I set up around the school was actually a sabotage device of some sort. But first I needed to get out of the building before things start exploding. Once I got far away from the main building I activated all the contraptions at the same time from my phone. The most recent one was made to destroy the valve that controlled the water pressure in the bathrooms, and the faucets are pretty old so in a few seconds... POW! The faucets popping off the sinks was music to my ears. Some devices cut off power to the school, and others made sounds exceeding 120 decibels at around 1180 Hz causing everything made of glass to shatter. But I was waiting for the best part. In the foundation of the school main building, I hid a carefully designed device. Its one purpose was to release KIFs or Kinetic Incendiary Fireballs. I watched in glory, as the main building of Bullworth Academy burst into flames. I turned and left the campus, ready to begin my new life. And here we are, back in the present currently choosing the second option as to what I will do next. RUNNING! How did they find out it was me? It's not like I left my name on th... Oh wait, I did. Why did I do that? “Get back here you!” The cops screamed at me. “Why would I listen?!” I called back. “...” Spongebob narrator: “Six minutes later...” I was backed up in an alleyway by the cops and they were closing in. “Heh... they surrounded me... those poor bastards.” I reach into my backpack, pull out two custom made, long metal clubs with handles on the sides, or tonfa, and fall into a defensive stance. One of them says “Hey now, we don't need to resort to violence here. Just come along quietly, and there won’t be any trouble.” “You're right” I reply. “Violence may not always be the right answer...” I rush forward. “But it's a pretty damn effective one!” He puts up his arms to his face in reflex. I knock them away with one tonfa, and slam the other into the side of his head, knocking him unconscious. Silence. Then several Tasers are leveled at me. “Freeze! You are under arrest for assaulting an officer and resisting arrest!” I ready my stance again. “Challenge Accepted”. With a flick of the wrist, I twist the handle on the tonfa, and the rod unfolded into a fanlike metal shield. At this sudden movement, two of the four cops still conscious, fire their Tasers, which are then blocked by my shield. I take this opportunity to run at the other two cops and roll, reducing the area not covered by my shield, which then blocks the other two Taser shots from hitting my legs. While the cops are reloading their Tasers, I reach into my backpack and pull out a plastic ball with brown sludge in it, with a cord sticking out. I quickly pull the rip cord and that causes sparks inside the ball. The brown stuff ignites, I throw it on the ground and a billow of smoke comes from the potassium nitrate/sugar mix. “Hey! Get ba-(Cough Cough) Back here!” I scaled the alley wall and made it onto the roof by time the smoke cleared. I can’t afford to be trapped like that again. I only have two smoke bombs left. I drop down from the roof on the other side of the building. “I gotta get out of here.” so I start running. I hit the groves of trees by the edge of the town. My green clothing will blend in well with the foliage. Walking through the trees, I notice something tugging on my clothes. “What is that? It doesn't feel like wind.” I let myself get pulled along between the trees, deeper into the forest, to find the source, but I notice the pull getting stronger. “What the heck is this? It feels like gravity!” I start to try and fight it but it's too late. I find myself falling along the ground until I see... something. I don't know what it is. It looks like a ball of heat. Like when you look at the road and you see heat waves, but in reverse, with the distortions traveling inward. I grab onto a tree and hold on for what seems like eternity, but was most likely a few seconds before my grip slips and I fall into the anomaly. I... I don't know where I am. Just floating in a void. No, not a void. There are bubbles. Massive bubbles dotting the space. I feel an especially small one pulling on me. With nothing to hold onto I drift toward it. The bubble feels like strong wind coming from all sides as I enter it. There, floating in the center. Is that a watch? It is a metal band of some sort with a face, but no display. It looked like it was made to fit on a wrist. I reach for it and put it on. “[Calibrating]” “What?” AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! SO MUCH PAIN!!! It felt like my body was being split open, rearranged and put back in the wrong places. I'm going to black... out............looks like a tree. Author's Note I hope this is well received. //-------------------------------------------------------// The Everfree //-------------------------------------------------------// The Everfree MLM Chapter 2 The Everfree Thoughts “Speech” (Noises) “[MACHINE voice]” “...Ow” getting up from the floor, I make sure that everything is where it should be. After assuring I’m not missing anything, I check my surroundings. “Whoa. What kind of forest is this? Why am I in a forest?” The local flora don’t look like anything native to New Hampshire, which unnerves me a bit. I see that I am standing in a small patch of blue flowers. I bend down and pick one. (nom). I know, not the smartest idea, but I am hungry and flower petals are usually edi- THIS IS DELICIOUS!!! (NOMNOMNOMNOM-URK!) Ate too fast! “GAAAK!” spitting up the flowers, I wipe my face with my arm and notice something hard and metallic around my wrist. “Huh. It's that weird watch that... Did what exactly?” It said something before shocking me. “Calibrating” I think it said. But what did it do? “Grrrrrrrr.” That can't be good. I turn around and I make out a wolf’s silhouette in the shadows. As it emerges from the darkness, I see that it isn’t a wolf. It appears to be a mass of sticks and lumber in the shape of a wolf. I’ve heard of timber wolves but this is ridiculous! But seriously. Dafuq is that thing? And why do I get the sneaking suspicion that it wants me for dinner? It growls again and three more appear from the foliage. Oh this is not good. I slowly pull out my tonfa and get ready. The second wooden wolf pounces on me and pins me to the ground while I block its jaws with one tonfa. It shakes its head, tearing away my weapon and leaving me defenseless. I reach out for something, anything, to grab at. A root. No good. I need A BARRIER! “[MACHINE activated. Construct #1 Shield]” Then everything felt like it was in slow motion. The wolf opened its jaws and lunged. Then the most extraordinary thing happened. The watch then opened up, some mechanical tendrils came out and touched the tree. Said tree split apart, and took on a slight sheen, as if hardening. It then started coming back together on my arm forming a shield? Crack! The wolf's jaws splintered on contact with the shield that I didn't realize I had lifted up to my face. Thinking quickly I get up and bash the wolf in the remainder of its face. “Let’s see what else it can do.” I touch a rock and... nothing. I look at the wolves that are still up and snarling at me. Running very fast now! I look back. “Man these things do not let up!” I have to find somewhere- Ah Ha! Climbing up the tree aaand, Safe! I look down at the things below me. “Ha! Canids can't climb trees!” They growled at me for a few minutes and left. Whew, that was an ordeal. I climb down from the tree and turn my attention to the watch. “What is this thing?” It turned that tree root into a shield. But why did it not work with the rock? Does it not work with inorganic matter? Time for testing! I grab a stick and think “weapon”! “...why isn't it working?!” I felt frustration build up, and a desire to whack that tree over there with something. Something sharp. I need a WEAPON! “[Construct #3.1 Short sword]” It happened again. The watch opened up and the tendrils deconstructed the stick and formed a short sword in my hand. “Woah.” In my head I could see the sharp edge, the grip and every component, but when I pushed it out of my mind, it dispelled the blade and it turned back into a stick. “Well. This is an interesting development.” I pick up the rock. The blade didn't look like it was made of wood so can I...? Imagining the composition of the material I had in mind, I spread that though the rock in my head and the watch complied. “[Construct #17 sphere bomb]” “Ah HA! It worked!... Where is the pin?” I observe the ball from every angle, but I don't find a trigger of any sort. “Huh. I guess I need to have everything planned out in my head to make it work. So much for getting a gun easily” The sun was going down quickly and I could hear howling in the distance. Well at least I’ll be ready for them with the... What is this thing called anyway? It spoke. “[The MACHINE]” “Waaah! It can hear my thoughts?!?” “[Yes. The MACHINE is a matter alteration device that is connected directly to your nervous system. But your brain was configured strangely so I rewired it for MACHINE use.” So that was the pain that I felt when I put you on. “[Yes]” “Aaaaugh! Stop doing that! I like to have my thoughts to myself thank you.” “[Verbal response only is now active.]” “Anyway, who are you exactly?” “[I am M.R.A.I.A. The MACHINE Regulating. Artificial. Intelligence. Assistant. At your service Mr.V]” “I think I'll just call you Mr. Aia. And by the way, call me Casimir” “[Understood Casimir.]” “And what did you mean by strange brain?” “[Your physiology does not match that of any known Hyrian nervous systems.]” “Hyrian? What is a Hyrian? And where did you come from?” “[A denizen of the country Hyra, on the planet CAC-1-5. The MACHINE was a super weapon designed by Carred Zelos for the Hyrian Millitary. However, he deemed it too dangerous so he used a pseudo-Carrian manifold generator to create a warp pulse, so as to push the MACHINE out of their reality. But given the circumstances, it appears that the pulse created an instability in other realities drawing you into the pocket dimension. Once the MACHINE was out of the pocket, It collapsed, sealing the instabilities, thus making the reality barriers conventionally unbreakable again.]” “So, I can't go home?” “[No. You cannot.]” “...this is GREAT! It's just what I needed! An alien world to explore” I look down at the MACHINE. “and the power to survive it.” “[I do not understand. Does your species not want a place to call home?]” “Well yes, but I never liked my home planet anyway. It was on the brink of collapse.” I take a look around at the landscape. “I think I'll call this place home.” One Month later After spending two nights in a tree. I decided to make a place to rest. Utilizing the MACHINE's matter manipulation, I was able to harvest some raw materials to build with, to an extent. Apparently the MACHINE's main function was to harm, so I just couldn't make a house with the raw matter. In the span of a month I built a fairly respectable home on the edge of the forest. I also practiced with the MACHINE to see the extent of its capabilities. The MACHINE is an extension of my mind, and since this mind is very knowledgeable on the inner workings of various mechanisms, and weapons, it turned me into a killing machine. Heh. It took me a while but I managed to construct a gun, and various other kinds of weaponry. Some of which shouldn’t even function under conventional physics. Apparently this reality’s laws are slightly skewed compared to the universe I was familiar with. While modern weapons are significantly more effective in most situations, they take significantly longer to create due to a higher amount of concentration needed. The cuts and bruises I was getting from the wooden wolves were accumulating so I decided I need some protection. So I developed the MM-1 Armor set. A Kevlar reinforced, graphene suit, capable of withstanding a railgun spike moving at Mach 7 without a scratch. Trust me. I’ve tested it. It actually looked a bit like a dark grey Megaman suit, but without the thick forearms or helmet. (RRRRRRRR) I guess it’s lunchtime. I usually ate those blue flowers, but I decided to look for something different. I pocketed some blue flowers for a snack and decided to find something else to eat, because frankly, I was getting tired of flower salad. Even though they were delicious. (Sniff Sniff) What is that smell? It smells like a baked good of some sort. But that's.... Is there intelligent life in this dimension? I never considered that, and I haven't really gone too far from my home so maybe something is cooking? Following the smell, I came upon a small cottage with the smell emanating from inside. Intelligence! Another sapient being besides myself! I look inside a window but I don't see anything moving. Turning around I notice a trail of prints leading into the forest. So I decided to follow them. A few minutes later I hear a small voice. “There you are Angel, I was so worried. You know it's not safe to go into the Everfree forest.” English! What are the odds?!? I peek around a bush and there I see it. A small quadrupedal yellow equine/avian creature was communicating with a small lagomorphic creature I shall identify as a rabbit. In an attempt to make contact I come out of the bush. Behind the equine creature I see a pair of glowing green eyes…Wait a minute... Wooden Wolf! I have to do something! Fluttershy's POV (Rustle Rustle) “Huh?” I turn to the shaking bush. “W-Who’s there?” “Grrrrrrrr” A timberwolf! “Angel. You need to get out of here!” But before the timber wolf made its move, another creature came out of hiding. One that I’ve never seen before. It stood between me and the timber wolf. “Eep!” I notice its forelimbs were extended, blocking the timberwolf’s path. “A-Are you here to protect me?” It looks at me and gives me a toothy grin. “Run. More will be coming.” I-It Can Talk!?! “Go on. Run!” “O-Oh, Ok.” I start running in the direction of Ponyville. Running out of the Everfree forest, I see Rainbow Dash flying around, practicing tricks. I start waving frantically and she lands. ”Hey Fluttershy! You here to see my new tricks?” “Not now Rainbow Dash. There's an animal that needs help!” I then told Rainbow what happened. “What!? It could talk?!?” “Yes! And I’m afraid that the timberwolf could hurt it.” “...O.K. I'll go and round up the girls. The Everfree is dangerous for anypony to go alone, even for me.” and she took off. A few minutes later Twilight's POV We were gathered at the edge of the Everfree forest. Pinkie was watching a butterfly, Rainbow Dash was making jabbing motions in the air, Applejack was just arriving, and Fluttershy was being consoled by Rarity. “O.K. Everypony we need to find the creature that Fluttershy has described and help it. Now remember it was bipedal, like a Minotaur, but without horns or hooves, had a gray coating and could talk. When you find it, try and subdue it with these paralysis crystals so Fluttershy can treat its wounds.” I passed out several yellow crystals imbued with magic. (BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!) “What in tarnation was that?” said Applejack. “They sounded like big loud party poppers. OOH! Maybe the Fluttershy's creature likes parties!” said Pinkie Pie. “Let's go!” While walking through the Everfree forest, trying to find the source of the sound, I was also excited. A new species? Who could resist discovering something new to understand?! What does it look like? How much can it talk? Is it a he or a she? So many questions were going through my mind, I was just so excited! Author's Note This is my version of what the MACHINE does, because the EpicGuitar story MACHINE is not complete. When MACHINE is released, it may be different from my version of the MACHINE. It's in all caps because I like it. //-------------------------------------------------------// Contact //-------------------------------------------------------// Contact MLM Chapter 3 Contact Thoughts “Speech” (Noises) “[MACHINE voice]” Casimir's POV “[Construct #23 Pistol is a success.]” “AAAAHH YEAH!” “[“AAAAHH YEAH” audio file stored for future use.]” “Unnecessary, but cool!” I dispel the weapon. “Anyway, it looks like that was the last of the wooden wolves.” (Rustle Rustle) “Hmm?” Something was getting closer. I climb up a tree and hide in the leaves. “Mr. Aia. Activate vantablack stealth coating.” The M.R.A.I.A. then takes the outer layer of carbon in my suit and rearranges it to absorb nearly all visible light, coating me and making me practically invisible in the shadowy canopy of the forest. It was about a minute before I saw them. More of those equine creatures. The yellow winged one was among them. I wonder what they are doing here, as I recall, the yellow one said this place was dangerous. They passed below my tree when the poofy pink one’s tail twitched. “Ooh ooh ooooh! Something’s gonna fall!” What? (CRACK) I felt the branch I was on, tremble. Oh shit. “AAAH!” I come falling through the foliage right on top of the marshmallow white one with the purple mane and horn. (CRASH!) “Uuugh…Oww.” It whined. Then it looked up at me with wide eyes. “…Hi.” “There it is! The crystals, now!” The purple one said. Then the other four tossed some yellow gems at me which broke upon hitting my armor. (ClinkBZZZTZZTZZ)! Twilight’s POV The bipedal creature then went rigid as the paralysis spell in the crystals went through its body. Rarity then picked it up off her with her magic and laid it on the ground. “Ok Fluttershy, there’s enough magic to keep it like that for a few hours so take your time.” “Umm. Ok.” Fluttershy walked up to the creature and lay it flat on its back. Now we got a good look at it. It was very much like Fluttershy described, except it was more ape-like than minotaur. It appeared to have a very dark black coating rather than the grey that Fluttershy described. It was so black it was almost like your eyes could sink into it if you weren’t careful. Fluttershy tugged on part of its black padded part and it shifted. That black stuff wasn’t part of it? Fluttershy then pulled the black piece over its head. “Oh my.” “(!!!) It wears armor?” I exclaimed. “Um Fluttershy? I don’t think this is just a talking animal. I think it might have ponylike intelligence!” “Well Fluttershy said it could talk. Why wouldn’t it?” said Rainbow Dash. “I don’t know. I thought maybe it was like a parrot.” I walked over to the pile of armor Fluttershy made and started examining a plump oval with straps on one side. I looked at it every which way and couldn’t find a logical use for it. Rarity noticed my conundrum and trotted over. “Darling. Why don’t you try the zipper?” Zipper? What zi-. “How did you notice that zipper?” I could have sworn I looked there already. “Well I do have an eye for detail.” She said, and she flipped her hair. I pulled on the zipper and some things fell out of the pouch. A thin black tablet, a few strange, what looked to be cartridges and a book… BOOK! I immediately pick it up in my magic, open it, and start reading. I made it halfway down the first page before I realized something. “This book doesn’t make any sense!” Dash laughed at my outburst. “What? A book finally too complicated for the great egghead?” “That’s not it! Look!” I showed them the strange scribbles. “This isn’t like anything I’ve ever seen before!” Then something hit me. “Girls… I think we might be dealing with-“ “A DEMON PLANNING ON ENSLAVING HIGH SCHOOL?” shouted Pinkie. “What? No! An alien!” “An alien!?” “Well… That would make sense.” Fluttershy spoke up. “I can’t feel his pulse on the back of his neck like most Equestrian animals, it’s here.” She pointed at his wrist. “Also there doesn’t seem to be any injuries whatsoever, except this bruise that just started to form.” “Wait Fluttershy, how did you know it’s a he?” Fluttershy turned red. “Well… He doesn’t have a… sheath.” “But you said it confronted a timberwolf!” said Rainbow Dash, ignoring the scarlet pegasus. “You mean to say this thing took on a timberwolf without a scratch?” I looked around and saw several piles of lumber, sticks and leaves. “Actually I think there was more. Look.” I pointed at the piles. “That’s what he said!” said Fluttershy. “Before he told me to run, he said more would be coming.” I stared at the creature that saved Fluttershy, but destroyed several timberwolves without getting injured. Just how powerful is he? “Well if he doesn’t have any injuries then let’s go!” said Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow! We can’t just leave him paralyzed in the Everfree forest! Besides he obviously has some form of intelligence, so I suggest we take him to my lab so we can get more data.” “But what about the rest of Ponyville?” said Applejack. “I don’t think they will respond well when we take an alien from the Everfree into the middle of town.” “What about Fluttershy’s house? She lives outside of Ponyville, and she could take care of him.” Said Rarity. “Plus how is this creature going to react to being strapped down to some device if it has intelligence?” I hadn’t thought of that. How would I feel being strapped down to a table to collect data?... Mmmm data… I was lost in my thoughts when Pinkie alerted me to the fact that they had already started carrying the creature to Fluttershy’s cottage. “Hey Twilight you slowpoke! Hurry up!” Casimir's POV When I realized from their conversation that they weren’t hostile, I relaxed, or as much as someone with rigid muscles can relax. They were levitating me through unknown means, and carrying me through the forest. As the trees got thinner and thinner, I came to the conclusion that we were leaving the forest and headed towards the house of the one called “Fluttershy”. Eventually we arrived at the cottage that I encountered earlier. The same house with the pastry smell coming off of it. I was carried inside and put on a large mat on the floor. And then… nothing. For. Two. Hours. Itch… Itch Itch… Itch Itch ITCH! “…r…rrr…RRRAAAAGHHH!!!” I screamed, fighting the paralysis to scratch the burning irritation on my legs, before breaking whatever was keeping me frozen. I grabbed a nearby table leg and the MACHINE went to work. “[MACHINE Activated. # 4 Claw gauntlet.]” (Scratchscratchscratch) “Ahhhh.” I let out a sigh of relief as the accursed itch was finally quelled. “Oh my.” A near inaudible voice said. I turned around and standing in the doorway to another room was the pegasus I saved earlier. It was clear that she was frightened from her posture and attempt to hide behind her pink hair. I slowly sat down and spoke. “Greetings creature. I mean no harm and apparently nor do you. I thank you for letting me stay in this habitation.” It mumbled something. “What was that?” “You’re welcome Mr. Alien. Everything is welcome in my home.” As she slowly stepped towards me she emitted an aura of comfort and nonthreatening posture, treating me like a wild creature, which is understandable in this situation. “So this is your home. You must be the “Fluttershy”.” “Yes, my name’s Fluttershy. What’s yours?” Fluttershy asked. “Mr. Aia If you would.” The MACHINE blinked. “[Name: Casimir V. Age 16 Earth years. Male. Wielder of the MACHINE.]” Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind the couch, at the metal band around my wrist talking. “W-what is that?” Before I said anything, a voice called out from the other room. “Yo Fluttershy! What’s taking so long? Who are you talking to?” The voice was followed by another pegasus but this one was blue, with a prismatic effect in her hair. Obviously this was the one they called Rainbow. She saw Fluttershy hiding behind the couch, that I was unfrozen and immediately assumed the worst. “Hey! Stay away from her!” she yelled and leaped at me while flapping her wings. Without time to grab something I reflexively dropped to the ground with Rainbow sailing over me. (Crash) And into the wall. “Rainbow? What was that?” Another, albeit accented, voice called from the same room. This time followed by an orange one with a Stetson. It then saw Rainbow crashed in the wall, and Fluttershy still behind the couch. Again more assumptions were made. “What are ya doin to my friends ya varmit?!” before waiting for an answer she charged me but was much slower than Rainbow. So I had time to grab the Claw gauntlet off the ground. “[MACHINE Activated. #1 Shield.]” The claws converted into a shield just before the orange one reached me, upon which she turned around and transferred her momentum to her rear legs, striking the shield with a resonant (BWWWONGONGONGONG!). The noise alerted the others in the next room. Not wanting a repeat of what kept on happening, I dispelled the shield, catching Orange off guard and promptly fell backward. Rainbow was still stunned so I pinned her, and the other three entered the room. “Applejack what was that?” Purple asked. She then saw Orange on the floor and me on top of Rainbow. “What the heck is going on?!” Well, time to use my exemplary diplomatic skills to ascertain as to what happened so that there will be peace between us and no more assumptions are made. Apparently Rainbow had the same idea. “That thing started it!” We pointed at each other. “What are you talking about? You started it! Stop that. Purple penguin peanut pastries!” Seeing that this would get us nowhere I decided to cover Rainbow’s mouth. “Mmmph!” Rainbow cried in protest. I got off. “Ok.” I said. “Would anyone please tell me what is going on?” Marshmallow fainted. //-------------------------------------------------------// Explanation //-------------------------------------------------------// Explanation MLM Chapter 4 Explanation Thoughts “Speech” (Noises) “[MACHINE voice]” Casimir’s POV After explaining that I was not attacking them, and merely defending myself, we started to introduce ourselves. {You already know who everyone/pony is so I’m skipping it.} “So what are you supposed to be exactly?” said Rainbow Dash. “I am a species of primate known as a Human.” “So you’re some sort of smart monkey?” said Applejack? “Ehh… Close enough.” Then Twilight Sparkle, who was bouncing with excitement hit me with rapid fire questions. “This is amazing! How do you speak fluent Equish, but have a different writing system? How did your kind achieve intelligence? Where are you from? How did you make that shie-“ I grabbed her muzzle. “Slow down crazy pony. I can only answer a few questions at a time.” The others giggled at her excitement. “I’m sorry.” Twilight blushed and turned her head. “…What?” I haven’t heard those words in a long time. “I said I’m sorry.” “No, I heard you it’s just… I haven’t heard that phrase in a long time. You don’t apologize when you’re in Bullworth.” “Oh my, this Bullworth sounds absolutely dreadful!” exclaimed Rarity. Boy you have no idea. “Seeing that I am the alien to this place, how about we do some back and forth? I’ll ask a question, you ask a question.” Twilight was ecstatic. “Ooh! Ooooh! Me first!” (sigh) “Ok Twilight. Go ahead.” She then manifested a scroll and quill in front of her and said, “What is your species name?” “Homo sapiens and how did you do that?” Twilight looked up from her writing. “Do what?” “You just created that scroll from thin air!” “Don’t be silly” She waved her hoof at me. “I teleported that scroll from my house.” “You can teleport things? That’s amazing! How do you do it?” “Ah ah aah. It’s my turn now.” She said, waggling her hoof at me. “So, where are your kind from?” Oh Boy. “Earth.” “What?” “Planet Earth.” “What do you mean planet Earth? This planet’s name is Equis.” Then it clicked for Twilight, followed by the others. “You’re an alien!” They yelled simultaneously somehow. Instantly I was surrounded by a pink force field. “Hey!” I yelled. “What gives?” “Sorry Casimir. But there might be pathogens that you brought from your world that might have a horrible effect on ponies!” She turned to her friends and her horn lit up. Soon everyone/pony was in a pink ball. “Now that we’re all quarantined we can go to my lab to get disinfected.” Twilight said with an unnatural cheeriness. Her horn lit up again and everything went white. After rubbing my eyes, I saw that we were in a library? What? You know… I’m going to not question physics defying ponyland. “Casimir. If you would follow me.” Twilight then rolled over to a flight of stairs leading to a basement, like a pony in a giant hamster ball. I almost started laughing but I forced it down and followed her. Now we were in a laboratory… Nope still not questioning it. “Please step into the chamber.” Twilight gestured over to a large shower-like cylinder with an open door. I rolled in and the door closed with a hiss. The ball then disappeared. “Um. Twilight? What is this thing?” I tapped on the glass. “It’s my Extraequestrial Bacteria Disinfector.” She stated proudly. “If there are any germs that you brought from your world that could bring harm to our world, this machine will get rid of them.” “What? That doesn’t sound safe.” It was as if she didn’t hear me. (POINK) “OW!” A strand of hair was plucked from my head and was held in Twilight’s telekinesis before vanishing in a flash of light. “Now that I have your DNA, my machine can get rid of anything that isn’t a part of you.” Uh Oh. “Twilight wait!” She flipped the switch on the base of the tube. The tube started filling with a strange purple light being emitted from the top of the tube. “NO!” I screamed. I placed my hand on the glass wall. “[MACHINE Activated. Construct # 37 Rocket Hammer.]” The glass wall then shattered and the shards were held in place by the MACHINE. The silicon and oxygen in the glass were then underwent nuclear fusion and fission, and were transmuted into Iron and hydrocarbons, before being arranged into a hammer. “What do you think you’re doing!?” screamed Twilight. I swung the hammer upward as the engine ignited. (FFFFWOOOMM) It smashed into the emitter and the purple light went out. (CRASH) Almost immediately the other 5 rolled down the stairs. “Twilight what happened? Are you ok? What did he do to you?” Said Rainbow Dash. Twilight responded. “It’s ok. I’m fine. But why did you smash my device?” I pointed at it for emphasis. “It would have killed me.” They gasped collectively. “What? No it wouldn’t! I had your DNA. All of your cells would have been spared.” Said Twilight. “Have you not considered my microbiome? You would have doomed me to a slow death by starvation, or bleeding.” “Casimir, that’s ridiculous. Microbiomes are only theoretical.” Twilight rebutted. “Everything that a microbiome could theoretically support is already taken care of by the magic in living beings.” … still not questioning it. “Ok. I don’t know why magic is a thing in this messed up world but there is no magic where I come from, therefore I have a microbiome and you would have killed me!” I stated with growing volume. Twilight looked aghast. “N-no magic?” She slumped down onto the floor and started shaking like her entire worldview was shattered. “So the alien doesn’t have magic huh?” said Applejack. “Then where’d he get that hammer?” “[That would be my doing.]” “What? Who said that?” Twilight looked around. “[Over here.]” The MACHINE flashed a red light to attract everyone’s attention. “[Greetings.]” “You have a tiny creature in your watch that performs magic?” Wow this conversation took a couple of strange turns. “Ok. Everyone shut up.” “Everypony.” “Whatever. I just want to clarify things before I get mistaken for a weapon of mass destruction.” Which I was, but why let them know I can destroy entire cities. So I told them a truth, but not the whole truth. “First off, This is the MACHINE. A device that utilizes science, not “magic” to manipulate matter. Secondly, I have a microbiome which helps me heal from minor injuries, and process nutrients. So that device would have killed me.” Applejack was glaring at me. “He ain’t lying Twilight.” She said, not sounding totally convinced. “But what about the diseases that his body is carrying?” Twilight said, still somewhat panicking. “Twilight, If I’m from a different world, then I doubt that any pathogens I might be carrying would be compatible with pony biology. Hell, I don’t even know if you’re carbon based!” Twilight paused, put her hoof to her chin, raised an eyebrow at me, and went through a whole variety of facial expressions before finally conceding. “(sigh) Fine. But if any of you contract an alien parasite that explodes out of your chests, then don’t come crying to me!” She exclaimed, waving her hooves around for emphasis. The pink balls disappeared. Where have I heard that before? “Um, Casimir? Could I talk to you for a second?” Applejack beckoned over at the top of the stairs. “Sure…” I gripped my hammer tightly in case. When we were back in the library, Applejack got up in my face, or as much as a 3 foot pony can get in my face, and harshly whispered “Ah dunno what you’re tryin to pull over here, but I’m the Element of Honesty. I can tell when somepony’s hidin somethin. I’ma let ya off this time, but if ya’ll be thinkin of hurtin anypony, mah hooves ‘ll be kickin your backside faster than you can blink! Ya hear?” “…(BOP)” “Ow! Hey! What did I just say?” “I don’t take kindly to threats. And if you try to threaten me again…” I take the hammer and snap the metal handle in two with ease. Granted I used the MACHINE to discreetly disconnect it, but the look on her face was priceless. At this time, the other 5 came into the room and I asked the question that was nagging me ever since we got here. “Umm. Where are we?” “We’re in the Golden Oaks Library, in Ponyville.” Said Twilight “And where were we before?” “Fluttershy’s cottage.” “Take me back.” “Huh? Why?” Asked Pinkie Pie. “So I can make my way back home.” “But then you’ll miss your “welcome to Ponyville” party!” Pinkie yelled, bouncing in place. “So?” Pinkie gasped. “So? What do you mean SO?! Everypony loves a party!” She said. Fluttershy opened her mouth to say something but Pinkie continued. “And if you miss the party, then you won’t meet everypony. And if you don’t meet everypony, you won’t have any friends! Except for me. And if you don’t have any friends, Thenyou’llbelonelyandsadandIdon’twan’tmyfriendtobesadbecausewhenyou’resadI’msadandtheneveryponyissadandramblerambleramble-” “Is floofy pony always like this?” I asked. “Pretty much.” They all replied. “-AndEquestriawillceasetoexist!” Pinkie finished. I ignored that last part. “Twilight. I need you to take me back to the cottage so I can go back to my home in the forest.” “Noooo! Come to the party!” pleaded Pinkie. She looked at me with large quivering eyes. However my hardened personality prevented me from- aw who am I kidding. “Daww. Fine I’ll go to your party, BUT I’m going right back to the forest the instant it ends. Got it?” “Okie dokie loki!” I would come to regret that decision.