1 ~ Wake Up and Get Going, Twilight
“Twilight.”
“What do you want, Spike?”
“You’ve been studying for over a day. For a start, your pacing has kept me awake through the night and if you don’t stop, you’re going to wear a groove into the floor deeper than Pinkie Pie’s basement. Again. Secondly, who’s going to make me breakfast? I’m only a baby dragon, what do you expect me to do?”
Twilight had been hunched over her desk, reading books on the history of Equestria. She’d been in this stance for almost one full day; Twilight didn’t want to take her eyes off those interesting books for one moment. She had only stopped to think, and occasionally pace when she was struck with a puzzling concept.
“…Fine, I’ll make your breakfast. But don’t you think for a moment that you can neglect your chores because I’m busy.” Twilight replied sourly.
“Being an egghead, maybe…” Spike muttered under his breath.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, nothing…”
Twilight glared at Spike for a few moments before letting his comment go.
Instead of going to the kitchen and making Spike some breakfast, Twilight instead stayed exactly where she was. Spike looked at Twilight disapprovingly and was about to complain, but stopped in his tracks when he noticed her horn light up with a soft purple glow. Suspecting that Twilight was making his breakfast using magic, Spike rushed into the kitchen to confirm his suspicion. Sure enough, he walked in to see several things in the kitchen being used with her magic. Looking around, Spike saw the fridge being opened to retrieve four eggs and six rashers of bacon – the amount Spike always had. Soon after, a door beneath the stove that contained pots and pans was pulled open. A pan came flying out, barely missing Spike who swiftly dodged the wild pan.
“HEY!” Spike yelled in surprise. “Watch what you’re doing with your magic, Twilight!”
The pan immediately halted. Twilight trotted into the kitchen; worried she had injured Spike. Deciding that using magic to cook from another room was a pretty stupid idea, Twilight stayed in the kitchen to properly cook Spike’s breakfast.
Immediately after cooking the meal for Spike, Twilight rushed back over to her desk to continue reading. She didn’t get very far however, for at the door was a loud knock.
“Ugh… What now?” Twilight said; feeling quite exasperated at all the disruptions. With her head hung low, Twilight walked sombrely towards the door.
“Who is it?” Twilight asked. However, Twilight was not greeted with an answer. Instead, the pony on the other side viciously broke the door down and barged straight into Twilight.
“What the hay?!” yelled Twilight in bewilderment.
As soon as Twilight hit the floor, she bounced back up again, ready to fight the unknown intruder. But instead of seeing an armed pony wearing a black suit, Twilight’s eyes met with none other than Rainbow Dash’s.
“Sup.”
“Rainbow Dash?”
“That’s my name. Why’re you so stunned?”
“Why’d you knock the door down like that?”
“Uhhh…” Rainbow Dash had no retorts in store for that question; she herself didn’t really know. Instead she shrugged it off and continued.
“Yeah, well anyway, the girls and I are concerned about how much time you’re spending crammed up in this crummy tree. So we decided that you’re coming to one of Pinkie Pie’s wild parties. Tonight, at seven-thirty.”
“But… What? No! I’m much too busy for a party, Rainbow!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Did it sound like I was asking? Now get cleaned up, you smell like you’ve just gone at it with a stallion. Or a mare,” Rainbow Dash snickered. “Also, brush your mane. It looks horrible…”
Slightly offended by the comments, Twilight walked up to her mirror to examine her appearance. Sure enough, her mane was in disarray. She really had looked like Rainbow Dash described, and it was rather embarrassing. Annoyed, Twilight turned back to Rainbow Dash.
“I’m not coming.” Twilight said nonchalantly.
“Oh, yes you are.”
“Make me.”
Feeling challenged at this point, Rainbow Dash retorted with a soft but quick kick to Twilight’s stomach to leave her feeling stunned. While Twilight was dumbfounded, Rainbow Dash crawled under Twilight and lifted her up onto her back. As this was unfolding, Twilight was slowly coming back to her senses. Realising this, Rainbow Dash lifted herself off the floor and began to gallop for the door. Now almost fully aware of what was happening, Twilight yelped in shock and annoyance.
“Rainbow! This is ponynapping! And assault!” Twilight screeched
“You need to lighten up Twilight. If you’re always stuck in your library studying, then what’s the use of having all that knowledge? You have no one to share it with but Spike, who as I’ve seen, doesn’t give a flying buck!”
Twilight considered this greatly. Rainbow Dash had came up with a pretty reasonable point, what was the point of studying if she never got out to share the knowledge? Then again, nopony really ever cared about all her wisdom anyway. Whenever she tried to share it, they’d stare at her with confused looks upon their faces.
Twilight thought about this for a second, but shortly came back to the matter at hoof. Deciding that she was fighting a losing battle, Twilight decided to let Rainbow Dash win this one. She could’ve easily teleported back to her library, which was only a couple hundred metres away by now. However, she was very tired and lacking in concentration, which would’ve made teleportation all the more difficult. She also knew Rainbow would stop at nothing to get her to the party. There was no point in preventing the inevitable. Twilight was going to have to go.
“…Fine,” Twilight sighed. “Have it your way. But only this once.”
“Awwwww yeaaaaah!” Rainbow Dash yelled in triumph.
But instead of taking Twilight straight to Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow Dash turned around and flew back in the direction of the library.
“Uhh, Dash, why are we heading back towards the library?” Twilight asked in confusion.
“You never got cleaned up, you smelly pony you.” Rainbow Dash said mockingly.
“My patience is running thin with you, Rainbow.” Twilight fumed. However, there was a slight hint of a smile forming on her lips as she spoke.
“Oh Twilight. Come on, let’s get you clean and then we can go. Besides, it’s only five. We have plenty of time.”
Several showers, body washes and mane brushes later, Twilight emerged from the library feeling clean and a bit more enthusiastic about attending a party. Rainbow Dash had been waiting outside for her, trying to prove that the rumours of her being a paedophilic lesbian pony were false, even though there was no one but Twilight around to prove it to.
“Sup, pony. Ready to go?” Rainbow asked.
“Sure. Let’s go and ‘par-tay’!” Twilight answered in a carefree and cheerful tone. Rainbow Dash was slightly amused by Twilight’s sudden change in mindset, mainly because she was so determined to not go to this party just under an hour earlier. That, and also because of the fact that Twilight only ever seemed this happy when receiving a book of some sort.
The two ponies started silently trotting towards Sugarcube Corner. At first, there was no speech between either of the two. Neither had anything to really say to the other. But that didn’t last long when Twilight blurted out what was on her mind.
“So I noticed you weren’t in the library when I was showering…”
Rainbow Dash halted abruptly as she heard those words. After a few seconds of staring at Twilight awkwardly, Rainbow Dash responded.
“…What are you implying?”
“Well… its just… rumours…” Twilight said, now regretting the attempt to start a conversation.
“And you, an egghead like yourself, actually believed them??”
“I… well no, of course not... But you know, it puts doubts in your mind… And you become curious!” Twilight said, almost stumbling over her words.
“Okay, look Twilight, listen. Just listen. Have you ALREADY forgotten about the whole Gabby Gums incident?”
“Well…”
“And by the way, how did you even know that I wasn’t looking?”
“Well, my shower screen is a one way mirror, I can see the ponies on the outside, whereas the ponies on the outside can only see themselves. I’ve caught a sneaky little dragon once, he was-“
“WOAH Twi, don’t go there.” Rainbow Dash said. This conversation was getting just a little bit too over the top for her.
“Oh... Umm, sorry about all of… that, Rainbow.” Twilight said, finally happy to put an end to the overly awkward conversation.
“That’s alright, just don’t put me through that again. Not cool.”
After that point, no more conversation took place. Before they knew it, they had arrived at Sugarcube Corner, the awkward discussion behind them. Both ponies were ready to party, and party hard at that. However, they were the first mares to show up, apart from Pinkie Pie.
“Oh, hi Twilight! Hi Dashie!” Pinkie squealed. Rainbow Dash blushed a bit at her pet name but moved on nonetheless.
“Hiya Pinkie Pie. How come nopony’s around?” Rainbow asked.
“Have you noticed the time? You’re super duper early! But that’s okay because company is always great and I like seeing my friends so I can smile and we can all smile and have a fun time!” Pinkie beamed.
Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash to see if she had picked up what was just said. Sensing the incoming question, Rainbow Dash answered with a shrug. The look on her face said it all – Its just Pinkie being Pinkie.
“So… What is the time then, Pinkie?” Twilight asked out of curiosity.
“Geesh Twilight, don’t you have a watch or something? You’re an hour early, it’s only quarter to seven.”
Rainbow Dash shrugged again.
“Well… I guess we better wait for the others to arrive then. I guess we’ll sit down for the time being.” Twilight said.
Pinkie let out a small giggle snort and said “Pshht, don’t be silly Twilight, we can always start the party early!”
“Speaking of the others, who’s invited to this party? Nopony filled me in” Twilight asked.
“Weeeeell… There is you; Rainbow Dash; Applejack and Big Mac; Rarity; Fluttershy; Scootaloo; Sweetie Belle and Applebloom. It’s going to be a blast! But we can still start early, you know” Pinkie winked.
Before Twilight could object, Pinkie Pie raised her hoof and cut her off.
“Twi, loosen up already. You should know that I’m ready to party any time, regardless of what’s happening around me, you silly pony you! Now come on, there’s some special punch I made for us, just over by the counter! It’s a new recipe the Cake’s and I came up with, I personally think it’s the best because it’s new and who doesn’t like new things I mean really come on, I remember this one time when…”
Twilight and Rainbow Dash rolled their eyes and let Pinkie dribble out her random story.
“That pony must have some sort of gift, I’ve never known a pony that can talk and talk and talk for minutes on end without taking a breath,” Twilight thought to herself. “And I should really remember to bring earmuffs whenever I’m visiting Pinkie. This constant squealing is giving me a headache…”
Twilight turned to Dash, signalling for her to do something to shut Pinkie up. Taking the hint, Rainbow Dash quickly stopped Pinkie in her tracks with a swift hoof to the mouth.
“Alright Pinkie, we got the point. Come on girls, let’s go get some punch.” Rainbow Dash laughed. Despite how annoying Pinkie may be, seeing her being so hyperactive can lift one’s spirits, no matter what your day has been like.
Pushing all thoughts aside, the trio trotted over to the counter and pulled up a chair.
“Oooh, I’ll go get the glasses! Just wait here okay?” Pinkie squeaked.
At first, there was an awkward silence between the two ponies waiting at the bench. However, it was Rainbow Dash who this time broke the ice.
“We should totally make a run for it.” She said mischievously. Twilight turned to face Rainbow Dash, a look of utter disapproval upon her face.
“Rainbow, that’s rude!” Twilight responded.
“Your point?”
“...You’re right, let’s get out of here until the others show up.”
“Really? You’re serious?”
“No.”
Rainbow Dash frowned at Twilight, unhappy of the fact that she had turned her awesome idea down. Twice.
Only moments later, the front door bell chimed indicating that a pony had entered the premises. Both Twilight and Rainbow Dash swung around to see whom it was, only to be greeted by Spike.
“Spike, what’re you doing here?” Twilight said in surprise.
“Who said a dragon can’t party?” Spike answered, a slight tone of sadness in his voice.
“I disapprove of this,”
“I don’t really care, Twilight. You’re always making me work, can’t I ever relax?”
“Fair enough,” Rainbow Dash cut in.
Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash, a look of annoyance on her face. But before she could give Dash a piece of her mind, Pinkie returned with three glasses in her mouth.
She set them down on the table in front of her and poured and equal amount of punch in each. Lucky Rarity hadn’t arrived yet, a pony like herself would find such methods of transporting glasses unhygienic and disgusting.
“Sorry to keep you waiting girls, I was just checking on the cake in the oven.” Pinkie said.
Spike cleared his throat, trying to get Pinkie’s attention. Spike was about to voice out his presence, but before he could speak, Pinkie Pie cut him off.
“Oh, hi Spike! Come to join the party? That’s good, the more the merrier!” she chirped.
“Yeah… Hey, do you have any Applejack Daniels?” Spike asked.
“No Spike. You’re a baby dragon. You’re not getting any alcohol.” Twilight stated.
“Okay Twilight, don’t make me go through this with you again. I may be classified as a baby, but don’t forget that I hatched when you were just a filly, meaning I’m almost as old as you are,” Spike paused.
“So I want some Applejack Daniels.” Spike finished off proudly.
Twilight stared at Spike, mouth gaping open. She was speechless. While she disapproved greatly, she couldn’t argue with that, as he had a strong and valid argument. Thinking back to earlier, when Spike stated he couldn’t make breakfast because he was “just a baby dragon”, Twilight muttered “Hypocrite” under her breath. But she decided to let it go and just let him pay the consequences in the morning, when he had a massive hangover.
“Coming right up, sir!” Pinkie said, putting extra emphasis on the last word. She bounced back in the direction of the pantry to retrieve several more glasses.
Spike smiled. This was going to be a good night.
Shortly after, all the invited guests had arrived at the designated venue for Pinkie’s party. This being the rest of the elements; Big Mac and Caramel; the ever-ambitious Cutie Mark Crusaders and the pre-existing guests of Twilight, Dash and Spike.
Although the party wasn’t planned to start until seven-thirty, all the guests had arrived early. Not caring in the slightest, Pinkie Pie deemed the party to have started as the last guest walked through the door.
As one would expect at a party, the ponies had formed small groups amongst themselves where small amounts of chatter or dancing took place. There was Applejack and Rainbow Dash sitting at a small table they had set up to hoof wrestle on, well away from the dance area. It was a tight contest between the two as always, with no clear winner in sight.
A few meters away from the two stood the ever-ambitious Cutie Mark Crusaders, whom were also accompanied by Spike. The three Crusaders were plotting new ways to get their cutie marks, as per usual. While Spike was rather interested in helping them achieve this feat, he wasn't paying much attention to the hyperactive fillies’ ramblings.
Sitting at the bar was Caramel, Big Mac and an enthusiastic Rarity, who was enjoying chatting with the colts about their life on the farm. The trio was drinking an assortment of alcoholic beverages - cider for the colts and a strawberry daiquiri for Rarity, who enjoyed exquisite drinks. While the dress code was meant to be, well, non-existent, Rarity had typically outdone herself and worn what was the most elegant dress her skilled hooves and horn could create. She was the only pony in the building that was wearing any form of clothing, apart from Applejack’s trademark cowpony hat.
The remaining guests were on the dance floor. Here stood Pinkie Pie, Twilight and Fluttershy. Pinkie had neatly arranged a very powerful sound system, which was situated just off the designated dance area prior to the arrival of the guests. While Pinkie was rocking out to the hit single "I Kissed a Mare" by "Katy Pony", Twilight and a very timid Fluttershy were dancing calmly and smoothly, trying to avoid being accidentally belted by Pinkie as she practically threw herself around the floor.
General chitchat, gossip, plain partying and the likes were common topics and activities at casual parties, but since when have any of Pinkie's parties ever been normal or even casual in any possible way? All the ponies were here to have a good time, why should they hold back?
Which is exactly why they didn’t.
The party had been cruising along for three quarters of an hour now, and was in the stage that would be referred to as the party’s “baby steps”. However, it was becoming quite noticeable that the guests were becoming famished, and the punch bowl was starting to run on empty. Realizing this, Pinkie Pie happily trotted into the kitchen to address these problems. Remembering about the cake she had placed in the oven earlier, she took a peek to check its progress. Sure enough, it was ready and baked to perfection. She pulled the cake out of the oven and placed it on a trolley, away from the prying eyes of the hungry ponies to let it cool for a few minutes. In the meantime, Pinkie bounced towards the basement to fetch a barrel of cider.
Meanwhile, in the main area, the ponies were becoming increasingly tipsy. Rarity had already downed a few glasses of punch and strawberry daiquiri; but had no clear intentions of stopping anytime soon. The others have had a couple of mugs of cider each, but none had enough to really alter their judgement quite yet. While the equines have had a lot to drink, they still had little to nothing to eat and were becoming increasingly starved by the minute. Rainbow Dash was trying to refrain herself from letting out a complaint, but her stomach soon got the best of her as she called out to Pinkie to voice her hunger.
“Pinkie, are there any snacks or anything we could eat? We’re really hungry…” Rainbow Dash let out. It took a few seconds, but an echoed response came from the direction of Pinkie’s basement.
“I’m super sorry girls, I’m just waiting for this yummy cake to cool down so we can all eat.”
At the sound of the word “cake”, Rainbow Dash’s ears perked up.
“Cake? What type?”
This time, there was no response. Not until Pinkie Pie came galloping out of the basement with a large barrel of cider balanced her nose. She gently set the barrel down on the bar.
“None other than the marzipan mascarpone meringue madness of course!” Pinkie squealed.
Now Pinkie had everypony’s attention.
“MMM? But Pinkie, didn’t that there cake take the Cakes three whole months tah cook?” Applejack asked. But instead of getting an answer, Pinkie rushed back into the kitchen and wheeled the trolley with the marvellous cake to the bench where the ponies had gathered around expectantly.
Upon seeing the magnificent confectionary dessert cake, the equines let out “ooohs” and “aaahs” in amazement and understanding. While it indeed was the marzipan mascarpone meringue madness, it was a much smaller version of it. Small enough to prepare and cook in a day, but large enough to feed a group of hungry ponies.
For what must’ve felt like the hundredth time that day, Pinkie Pie trotted into the kitchen, this time to grab a dozen plates and some cutlery. Pinkie returned to see ten drooling ponies and one hungry dragon. The only possible response Pinkie could muster was a small giggle, which then turned into a laughing fit. It proved to be contagious, as the other ponies started laughing at the sight of Pinkie laughing. When they all got a hold of themselves, there was an awkward silence. That is, until Rainbow Dash typically spoke up.
“So, what was that about?” Rainbow Dash said, stifling a wild giggle.
“I have no idea!” Pinkie cried out, on the verge of tears. It took a while, but Pinkie finally got a grip on herself and set the dishes and silverware on the table. She then cut the cake into twenty-four equal slices, as a picky Twilight suggested. She didn’t want anypony feeling as if they didn’t get as much as somepony else did, which is understandable.
As soon as the cake was cut, the slices disappeared almost instantly as the ponies swiped up their fair share. The hungry ponies gobbled it down quicker than Pinkie could say “cherrychanga”, only pausing to breathe or to take a swig of their beverages – mostly alcohol. However, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were given prime quality Sweet Apple Acre Apple Juice - courtesy of Twilight and her concern for underage drinking.
Due to the cake’s instant success, Pinkie scooted back into the pantry yet again, this time returning with some savoury food. Crackers, potato chips, dips and some greens were some simple snacks that she hoped would last for the rest of the night, or at least half of it. Pinkie Pie sighed in happiness. Now that the food had been taken care of, she could get back to partying.
“Whee, let’s do this!” Shouted Pinkie Pie in a very elate tone. She literally bounced back over to her sophisticated sound system and turned the volume up as loud as it could go. She grabbed a white cord and her iPony, which she continued on to connect into the speakers. Scrolling through her playlist, she found the one thing that was sure to get everypony on their hooves and shaking their thing.
Dubstep.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack sat at the bar, drinking cider while the unavoidable dubstep blared in their ears. The duo were chatting about this year’s upcoming Running of the Leaves while they tried to drone out the music playing behind them.
“Oh pony, I am so looking forward to this years runnings, I’m going to be sprinting so fast that those leaves are going to be burning off the trees!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed in a very self-centred tone.
“Don’t yah mean “we”, sugarcube?” Applejack responded, raising her eyebrow.
“Pony, please. You were only keeping up with me last year because you were being such a cheater,” Rainbow Dash retaliated, her ego growing ever so slightly by the minute.
“That is so ahronic Rainbow, don’t y’all say to me that you weren’t being a cheatin’ varmint too,”
“What? No way! Tell me, how the hay was I cheating?”
“Ah, ponyfeathers…” Applejack sighed, dropping the conversation.
For several seconds, there was a silence between the two. Rainbow Dash silently cheered, happy that she had won the little debate. She decided to celebrate with a victory drink, which was downed in one shot.
“It’s good to finally be able to drink cider without there being none left...” Rainbow Dash sighed, almost in heaven.
For no apparent reason, Applejack ignored Rainbow Dash’s comment and skipped to a whole new topic completely. One that Rainbow Dash had recently confronted today, with much embarrassment and hate for the subject.
Nonetheless, the question was asked.
“So RD, how’re the mares comin’ along?
Rainbow Dash let out an exasperated sigh of shock and annoyance.
“You’re the second fucking person to mention that today…” Rainbow Dash responded bitterly.
“Oh, ahm sorry Rainbow, didn’t realize it was true.”
“It’s not true, for Celestia’s sake! Why is everypony so thick?”
“Ahm only joshin’ around with ya Rainbow, don’tcha worry.” Applejack laughed.
Clearly not amused, Rainbow Dash slammed her mug into the bench in anger. She refused to let this slip past her, so she decided on one thing that would settle everything between the two in the past – some form of competition.
“I challenge you to a sculling contest, first to six cups of cider wins the right to total awesomeness.”
“Woah nelly…” Applejack said, stunned at the sudden proposal. She considered the pros and cons of this idea, particularly paying more attention to the consequences. While there was little to no pros at all, Applejack accepted. It is a party, after all.
“Ya know what? Yer on,”
“Damn right pony.”
Applejack had a slight catch though. She knew, as always, it would be a tight contest. In these tight contests, Rainbow Dash would always insist that she had won, and once she got that thought in her mind, there is no convincing her otherwise. So to prevent this, Applejack called her brother over to judge, who brought Caramel over to help him.
Caramel and Big Mac fetched a dozen mugs and filled each one up to the exact same level, so that there was absolutely no room for cheating. They separated the cups equally – four on Rainbow Dash’s preferred side, four on Applejack’s preferred side and two each in the middle, just to mix things up. The rules were simple and obvious, but Applejack felt the need to go over them.
“Okay, the rules are that mah brother’s and cousin’s word is final. We start when they say to start, and absolutely no cheatin’ will be tolerated. Do ya understand, Rainbow?”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and nodded. Applejack making the rules up again, what a surprise.
“Ah mean it Rain, if ah catch you cheatin’ ah’ll do something y’all will regret,”
“Yeah yeah, whatever. Let’s just get this over with.” Rainbow Dash smirked.
Big Mac brought his hoof up; signalling the start of the round was imminent. The eager ponies waited for that hoof to smack to on the table, which would declare the start of the match.
“Get ready for a whoopin’ Rainbow,” Applejack whispered, still concentrating on her brother’s hoof.
“Sure, we’ll see abou-“
Rainbow Dash was interrupted as Big Mac slammed his hoof down on the bar. Applejack was ready, but Rainbow Dash was caught slightly off guard, setting her back a few precious milliseconds.
The contest was even throughout the whole time. Rainbow Dash had regained the milliseconds she lost at the start quickly, and used it to get to an equal amount cider drank. Both were on four cups each, and there was no sign of a let up from anypony.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack swiped up their second last mug in complete unison as and brought them to their lips.
“Down the gullet, Applejack,” She thought as she swallowed the soft alcoholic beverage. She spared a quick glance over to see how Rainbow Dash was going as she tossed the fifth cup onto the bar. She was pleased to find out that she had gained the lead ever so slightly. And that’s the way it stayed until the last second. Rainbow Dash looked out of it, physically and mentally, but she managed to pull through - quickly at that. She slammed her cup down shakily and glanced over at Applejack, who had just done the same thing. It was a close call.
Caramel and Big Mac discussed it for a moment, but could not come to a general consensus. In the end, it was all up to a seventh cup of cider – one that Rainbow Dash struggled to hold without spilling. She was getting wasted already, Applejack no better. It took a minute or so, but finally the victorious pony downed the last drop of alcohol and dropped her cup.
Caramel and Big Mac glanced at each other and nodded. The answer was obvious; the mare had won rather easily in the end. Caramel walked around to the mare’s side of the bar and brought one of Rainbow Dash’s and Applejack’s hooves into his.
“And the winner is…”
