World Skippin' (The Really Long, Convoluted Fetch Quest)

by Yet Another Dead User

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Comedy
Length: 1823

Celestia loses the keys to the Royal Golf Cart somewhere in time and space (but mostly space) and it's up to Twilight and friends to retrieve them!

Conscious Teleportation consists of three basic steps:

Focusing on the object (oftentimes oneself) to be teleported,
Focusing on the future location of the object,
And moving the object.

But what if a step is removed or simply forgotten?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-27 02:22:03 UTC

Prologue

'What else will I see now?'

The Being traveled through space, invisible and undetectable. As he always would he searched for things in the universe that he had not yet experienced, however rare they may be. Every hundred light years or so he would find creatures that could be considered relatively intelligent. He then noted to himself qualities that all sentient creatures below him possessed:

'They are, as all creatures I have encountered, mortal and material, incapable of manipulating their environment without coming into contact with it. No other entities that I have encountered but I have mastered the ability of altering matter and energy, thus I may say that I'm supreme until something challenges me!'

As he passed through the void on his way to a particular celestial body, he noticed activity from a planet not too far away. Some creatures had performed a simple version of its trade. This surprised him so much that he had no choice but to investigate.

'Intriguing. I haven't been to this one. The living things that crawl upon its surface don't seem to have evolved normally. The most dominant of them appear equine, a genus most unfitting for intelligence. Of their three races, one seems to attempt skills I've mastered for eons.'

The Being pondered upon what to do with his new discovery for a time. Should he contact them now? It would be too risky. Should he challenge them? Not a fair fight. He then had an idea. They weren't ready to experience the complex power that was his, so he would wait for them to approach whenever they were.

The Fetch Quest Begins

Celestia had been relaxing inside the Canterlot Castle for quite some time now, half asleep. It was a harsher summer then expected this time around, and no one wanted to go outside. It wasn't worth being baked alive in the heat, even to get the mail. How did the mail-ponies survive? Nobody really knew. As a result life became boring very early on in the summer, and motivation to do anything was few and far between.

This didn't stop the princess from wanting to do something about it, however. There were no papers to look over, no events to organize, and no surges of evil to combat. If she wanted to fool around, now was the perfect opportunity. She sat up and thought about what to do.

'See how Twilight's doing? She's probably still organizing the castle and wouldn't be in the mood for fun.'

'How about Luna? Never-mind, she looked like she had a hard night and is most likely unconscious.'

She hadn't actually been bored in a long time. There's usually something to do, but today was different. Suddenly she thought of something she could do.

'It's been a while since the Royal Golf Cart's seen any use, seeing as I mostly teleport to places. No one would mind if I took it for a spin.'

This sounded like a good idea until she realized a small problem between herself and the Cart. The keys....are all the way over there. An intimidating twenty feet away was Her Majesty's Keychain of Power on a writing desk. She'd have to get off of the couch to get them, something she wasn't willing to do this morning.

'Wait a second! I'm an alicorn! I can just teleport it to me instead!'

A light glowed around her horn as she focused on the keychain going out of existence and then appearing next to her on the couch. It popped with a spark or two, and then disappeared. Celestia expected it to show up again, but it didn't. She could sense it reappearing somewhere else, but it wasn't here. The princess felt like an idiot when she realized what she had done. Instead, she must have sent it to some random location!

Very little was happening at Twilight's castle that morning. Many loose objects from the girls' old homes littered the main hall, ready to be relocated to different rooms and chambers. Rainbow Dash and Applejack attempted to stave off boredom in the throne room while Twilight remained diligently at work arranging her recently added encyclopedias. The implements for this job completely covered the central table.

Spike lay on the cold floor with a fan blowing in his face.'Sweet Celestia, it's too hot,'  he thought to himself. 'How is Twilight organizing books? I can barely even get up!' He felt something rising in his chest. After not too long, a message appeared. Twilight looked up from her organizing charts to investigate.

"A message from Celestia?" Twilight asked. "What could she possibly need us to do?"

"Let's find out," Spike replied. He began;

'Dear Twilight,

Excuse the brief length of this letter, but I need you to get yourself and your friends over here as soon as possible. I messed up and need your help with something.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia.'

"It seems pretty urgent. We should get going." Dash said from her chair.

"I agree," Applejack added, "but how are we gonna get there? It's too hot to even go outside!"

Rarity appeared from her sewing room.

"Is something the matter?"

"We need to get to Canterlot immediately," Twilight answered, "and the weather right now could make that impossible!"

"Wait. Hold on, darling, I'll be back in a second. That gives me the perfect idea!"

"You know, it really is a shame that they cancelled that request," Rarity commented as the six mares walked down the street, "after I had already made twelve of those parasols."

"What do you think someone would need with so many fancy umbrellas?" Applejack asked.

"I still have no idea! At least I'm putting them to use instead of scrapping them for fabric. And besides, they're parasols, Applejack."

"Whatever you wanna call them is fine by me," Applejack replied, "but they're still just umbrellas."

"There's actually quite a difference between a paraso--"

"Well, we're here!" Twilight interrupted. "The station."

Before them stood the short, pallid pink building that was the train station. It had never changed since time immemorial, and probably never would. Many years and decades of ponies coming and going, but it always remained. It would be a while until the first train would arrive.

"You know this place brings back memories." Dash said.

"Come to think of it," Applejack agreed, "it really does, doesn't it?"

"Ooh! Ooh!" Pinkie blurted. "Remember when we went to the Gala together?"

Twilight reflected on this memory. "That was one of the first things we did together as friends. Good times."

Suddenly a train came blazing across the rails at full speed, just barely stopping at the platform. Steam billowed off the sides of the engine for a moment before the door opened. The conductor was hysterical.

"Sorry about that, ladies. The princess sent me immediately on 'emergency business,' so I came as quickly as I could. All aboard, I guess!"

After a moments' hesitation they boarded the train, exchanging some glances. Soon they would be discovering what Celestia needed their assistance for.

The Windmill Combustion

The train ride between Ponyville and Canterlot was more awkward than usual that day. The train was completely empty, save for two guards on opposite sides of the car door. One seemed more upbeat than the other, who was on the verge of collapsing on the cabin floor. Both held their pikes (which nearly stabbed through the ceiling) and stood still, not saying a single word. For most of the trip, the girls sat there quietly, occasionally looking out the window. Eventually the uncomfortable silence was broken.

"So why are you two here?" Twilight asked.

"You see, we heard that this train, conducted by a newbie, was leaving the station on 'Celestia's emergency business.' There was nothing else to do this morning, so we took it upon ourselves to investigate." The excited guard said.

"Oh."

'Great,' she thought to herself. 'Back to looking out the window.'

Twilight remembered back to the Gala, when it was an honor to go to Canterlot. Since she had gone there so many times with her friends, it was just another visit. Same train, same view out the window. Just as the situation seemed like it couldn't get any more boring, something incredible happened in the distance: one of the windmills caught aflame. The canvas on one of the blades spontaneously glowed red-hot for a moment, and then the windmill was no more, despite the efforts of some farmers to douse it. The main six watched in horror as heat took its toll, but the guards didn't move a muscle.

"Did you see that?" Pinkie commented.

"Is it really that hot outside?" Rarity added.

"Sure is, ladies." One of the guards said. "From what I hear, the reason it's so hot out is that the pegasi haven't gotten around to cloud placement this year, and now that it's so hot out, they don't want to."

"It's so hot out, they can't even make up for their own procrastination!" The other replied.

"Now you see, the only way I heard about why the weather is so unbearable lately is because we're too close to the sun."

"Do you know anything about meteorology?" The second guard heckled.

"Well, in case you didn't notice, I'm just a guard."

"That's beside the point. Heat waves are caused by high air pressure in a contained area and a lack of convective clouds."

'Now this,' Twilight thought. 'is a conversation I can work with!'

"In a way, your friend is right, though," Twilight chimed in. "It is the summer solstice. Our axis is tilted toward the sun right now."

He chattered onward for the rest of the ride, occasionally being interrupted or corrected by Twilight. The others either intently listened in or zoned out on the chair until they arrived at the Canterlot train station. When the doors opened again, the guards were the first to leave, the active one still rambling about the weather.

"..And then the end result is a continual build-up of-- oh, wait! Looks like we're here, Sherman. False alarm, nothing happened." The first guard remarked.

"Well, that's a relief. Guess we should head back to base."

"Hold on, Sherman. They never heard the end of my explanation..."

"Actually, that's fine," Rarity assured. "You can go off to wherever you need to be."

"Well, if you insist," he said, about to leave, "But either way, welcome to Canterlot!"

They stepped out of the train and into a strangely empty city, much like Ponyville before them. Those few brave souls that were out were hidden in shade or desperately running into cover.The scorching sun truly was a menace if it couldn't even spare these city folk.

"Y'know, Sugarcube, you really shouldn't just step out of character like that." Applejack warned.

Rainbow Dash agreed. "Yeah, Twilight, you really should know better by now. They're always watching..."