StressView OnlineThe Science of MusicStressTwilight Sparkle, alicorn princess and owner of a new castle, rested her head on a table at Sugarcube Corner. A spoon encased in a lavender glow stirred a large cup of coffee which currently was subjected to an influx of sugar pouring into it, the sugar dispenser wrapped in its own purple hue. Across from her sat Vinyl Scratch, Ponyville’s resident DJ, studying her intently behind a pair of sunglasses. A cerulean glow surrounded the sugar dispenser, then was set down on the table. “I, uh, think you’ve put in enough sugar, Twilight,” Vinyl said with a nervous chuckle. The lavender glow surrounded the sugar dispenser once again. “Never enough sugar,” Twilight said. The dispenser was enveloped in blue again and whisked off to an adjacent table. “That’s enough, babe.” Twilight groaned, sat up, and placed the spoon down on the table. She grasped the cup with her magic and took a long, drawn out sip. She glared at Vinyl. “You’re the worst.” Vinyl buried her face in her hoof. “Twilight, you keep putting that much sugar in your coffee every time, you’ll end up dead at forty. That would be the worst.” “Well, if this keeps up, I might not make it to the end of the week,” Twilight said as she took another swig. “What?” Vinyl asked with a snort. “You might get lost mapping out your new castle and die of starvation?” Twilight glared at Vinyl. “I always carry rations with me when mapping out my castle.” Vinyl snorted out a giggle. “Celestia, I was just joking. I didn’t think you’d actually worry about getting lost in your new home.” Twilight stared into her cup, swirling around the contents. “I think it’s a valid concern.” She took a sip. “Besides, it’s not a home. My library was a home. This—” “—will be your home once you get used to it. Don’t worry about it,” Vinyl said as she reached a hoof across the table, laying it on top of Twilight’s. Twilight smiled in return. “Thanks, Vinyl.” “No probs,” Vinyl said as she retracted her hoof. “Now, what’s with the caffeine-and-sugar overload? Mapping out your castle overnight?” she asked with a chortle. Twilight shot a glare at Vinyl. “It’s a valid concern! I have to worry about zoning ordinance violations—” “Whoa there, slow your roll. Just playing around. Seriously, though, what’s the problem?” Twilight shuddered as she took another sip of her coffee. “It’s the books.” “Books?” Vinyl asked as she slowly raised an eyebrow. “But you like books.” “I do. Reading them, at least,” Twilight said. “And organizing them as well, but not as much as reading them. But it’s kind of difficult to take solace in organizing books when you hold an open call for book donations to stock the new Ponyville Library—which is also my new castle—and end up receiving a constantly replenishing supply of books to organize. And just when you think you’ve finished cataloguing all of the books, they dump a new batch on you like some kind of Sisyphean torture!” She slammed her cup onto the table, her chest heaving. Vinyl examined Twilight, who took a nervous sip. The DJ then grasped her sunglasses in her magic and removed them from her face, revealing her cerise eyes. She neatly folded the glasses up, placed them on the table, and looked Twilight in the eyes. “Twily.” “What?” Twilight grunted as she sipped on her coffee again. “What’s reason thirty-six on the checklist of why we go well together?” Twilight let out a weak chuckle. “Because we both like keeping schedules. You,” she began as she waved the cup in Vinyl’s direction, “for your work, and me,” she continued as she took another sip, “so that I make the most efficient use of my time.” Vinyl nodded. “Yeah. So why aren’t you scheduling your library-ing?” “What do you mean?” “Twilight, you do realize that you don’t have to stock all of the books as they come in, right?” “But what if somepony comes to the castle looking for a book, but it’s in the pile I haven’t catalogued yet?” “Then write it down for when you do come across it. You don’t have to kill yourself getting every book on the shelves. Just take it in manageable chunks and it’ll be done before you know it, without running yourself ragged.” Twilight looked down at the table as she sipped on her coffee again. “I wonder why I didn’t think of that.” Vinyl grinned. “Probably because you were too tired from all the books.” “Yeah, that makes sense,” Twilight said with a smile. She looked into Vinyl’s eyes. “You’re the best, you know that?” Vinyl laughed as she slid her sunglasses back on. “Yeah, I know. But you’re a very close second.” “Thanks, Vinyl.” Twilight finished her coffee. “By the way, where is everyone?” Vinyl smirked. “Sugarcube Corner’s been closed for an hour. I had Pinkie keep it open just for us.” Twilight blushed as she set her cup down. “You shouldn’t have.” “Look, you seemed like you needed some time to chillax.” “Well, as you can see, I did. Thank you for this.” “No probs.” “Are you girls up to any funny business?” Pinkie called out from the kitchen. “We might be,” Vinyl yelled back, “you wanna—?” Twilight’s widened to the size of dinner plates as she clamped Vinyl’s mouth shut with her magic. “No, Pinkie, we were just leaving!” “Oh, okay!” Pinkie called back. “You two have a good evening!” Twilight stood up, let go of Vinyl’s mouth, and glared at her. “You’re terrible.” Vinyl stood up and chuckled. “Shut up, you love it.” “I do not.” “Do too,” Vinyl said as she pecked Twilight on the cheek. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them. “You are incorrigible.” “I know,” Vinyl said with a snicker as they left Sugarcube Corner.
FoalsView OnlineThe Science of MusicFoalsVinyl Scratch thought she was a smart pony. She had deduced that when she figured out how to get ponies to pay her to listen to music. No longer was she known as Vinyl Scratch, but DJ-PON3, professional disc jockey, able to supply musical accompaniment to birthdays, weddings, and cute-ceañeras. But looking at the checklist Twilight had provided her with and the three fillies looking expectantly at her, it suddenly dawned on her how little she knew. Vinyl had offered to do whatever it was Twilight did with the kids so that Twilight could have more time to catalogue the torrent of books the castle was receiving. At hearing her offer, Twilight hugged her, gave her a checklist, and hurried off to do her thing. She had not thought to ask for clarification, being woefully unaware of how much information one could pack onto a piece of parchment if it was written entirely in arcane notations not meant for equine eyes. So she did the next best thing: used her social skills. She smiled at the yellow filly while rolling up the checklist and placing it on the table behind her. “So, Apple Bloom, right?” Apple Bloom nodded. “Yes, Miss Scratch?” “Vinyl’s fine,” Vinyl said with a snicker. “Alright, what were you planning on doing with Twilight today?” “She was going to help me devise a potion that would increase the strength and stamina of a pony by ten times!” Vinyl pursed her lips. “I, uh, don’t know the first thing about that. Sorry.” “Oh,” Apple Bloom said as a neutral expression crossed her face. The orange pegasus standing next to Apple Bloom stuck her tongue out at the filly, then addressed Vinyl. “Maybe you can help me!” “Sure… Scootaloo?” Scootaloo nodded. “Alright, Scootaloo, what were you working on?” “Making a propulsion system for my scooter so that I can be fast as Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo said with a determined expression. “That’s,” Vinyl said, sucking in a breath through her teeth, “also out of my area of expertise.” Scootaloo frowned as Vinyl faced the unicorn filly. “And that must make you Sweetie Belle.” Sweetie Belle nodded. “Uh-huh! Twilight was going to help me with my magic.” Magic. Now that is a thing I can do. Vinyl grinned. “Alright, show me what you got.” Sweetie Belle nodded as she concentrated and grasped the list behind Vinyl in a green glow, levitating it in front of Vinyl. Vinyl smiled. “That’s great, kid! You seem pretty set.” Sweetie Belle looked up at Vinyl with a doe-eyed expression. “But Twilight was going to teach me advanced magic.” “Well, I hate to break it to you, but that’s about as much magic as I can do,” Vinyl said. Sweetie Belle put the list back on the table, her expression now downtrodden. Apple Bloom marched up to Vinyl and stared her square in the sunglasses. “Well, if you can’t teach us what Twilight could, then what good are ya to us?” “Yeah!” Scootaloo echoed. Vinyl bit her lip. She wasn’t used to being put on the spot like this. On her own terms, sure, but not by a bunch of foals who knew more than her. And here she was supposed to teach them something. She looked at the three fillies, all displaying various levels of disappointment. After a moment, she smiled as an idea came to her. “Hey, girls, what if I teach you something that Twilight can’t teach you?” The three fillies snapped their heads towards Vinyl. “Like what?” Apple Bloom asked. “Music History!” Vinyl declared. The three foals looked amongst each other, then back at Vinyl. “Sure,” Scootaloo said as she took a seat in front on Vinyl, the other two following. Vinyl looked at the fillies sitting in front of her, all of whom displayed various levels of attention. Alright. Here goes. Vinyl cleared her throat. “Well, then, equine music. The first instances of equine music are hypothesized to have been wordless songs, which some equinologists believe led to the development of speech…” I’m a little worried about Vinyl. I really hope I didn’t foist too much responsibility onto her. I know they can be difficult to handle, but I’m sure Vinyl can manage them. She’s a smart mare. Twilight grew increasingly concerned as she hurried back to the throne room and heard only silence. She picked up her speed and entered the throne room, only to find three sleeping fillies and Vinyl lounging in one of the chairs, sipping on a drink. Vinyl smiled and waved at Twilight. Twilight glared at Vinyl and opened her mouth to say something when Vinyl shushed her and motioned for her to come closer. Twilight collected herself and trotted over to Vinyl. “What exactly happened here?” Twilight whispered. Vinyl sipped on her drink. “I taught them music history,” she whispered back. “You’re terrible,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “Well, I couldn’t exactly teach them what you wanted to teach them, so I improvised.” Twilight studied the sleeping forms of the Cutie Mark Crusaders in their slumber, a smile working itself onto her face. “They’re really cute, aren’t they?” “Sleeping kids? Yeah,” Vinyl said as she took a sip of her drink. “You know, I’d like to have foals.” Vinyl spat her drink, spraying it everywhere upon hearing that. Twilight giggled. “Not now, of course,” she said as she kissed Vinyl on the cheek. “Someday, though.” “Yeah, someday in the future.” Vinyl chuckled nervously as she took another swig. “By the way, were you really going to put an engine on a filly's scooter, and teach another filly how to make a superpony potion?” “Yes,” Twilight simply replied. “What the hay is wrong with you?” Twilight giggled as she leaned onto Vinyl’s shoulder. “I wanted to challenge them.” Vinyl shook her head as she took another sip of her drink. “You’re insane.” “I’m simply promoting creative solutions.” “Whatever.”
ExplanationView OnlineThe Science of MusicExplanation“Hey, Vinyl?” Vinyl looked over at Twilight from her fold-out lounge chair. “What?” “The music is terrible.” Vinyl chuckled as she looked at the throng over her turntables. “It’s a kid’s birthday party, what did you expect? Classical music?” Twilight shook her head. “No, I just wasn’t expecting the music to be so—” “Look, I get paid to play what the filly wants to hear. Besides, I like all kinds of music.” Vinyl used her magic to manipulate the turntable to fade into the next record. Twilight looked out at the crowd. They did all appear to be enjoying themselves, especially a young filly who was zipping around to each guest and talking animatedly. “Who’s that?” Twilight asked as she pointed to the filly “Um...” Vinyl sat up and looked at where Twilight was pointing. “That’s the birthday girl. Zippo… Zippo something, I don’t know,” she said as she laid back down. Twilight glared at Vinyl and raised an eyebrow. “You don’t even know the name of the birthday girl?” Vinyl snorted. “I have it written down somewhere.” “Then why don’t you know her name if you’ve written it down?” “Because not all of us have photographic memories.” “The proper term is eidetic, Vinyl, and I don’t have an eidetic memory. I just remember what I write down.” Vinyl buried her face into her hoof. “Look, will you get off my case?” “I’m not getting on your case, I’m just pointing out that you should remember what you yourself wrote down—” “Which is getting on my case. Lay off.” “It just seems unprofessional, is all.” Vinyl sat up, removed her sunglasses, and glared at Twilight. “Listen. I don’t tell you how to be a Princess, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell me how to do my job. Do you under—” “Hi!” a hovering cream pegasus filly said. “Are you Princess Twilight Sparkle?” Both mares turned to look at the interloper. Vinyl slid her sunglasses back on and leaned back into her lounge chair. Twilight smiled and nodded. “Yes, I am. And what’s your name?” “My name’s Zipporwhill!” “Well, hello, Zipporwhill! This is a very nice party you have here!” Zipporwhill nodded. “I know, isn’t it great? It’s even better that you’re here!” “Oh, no, it’s no big deal,” Twilight said, blushing. “I’m just accompanying my marefriend here,” she added,waving a hoof at Vinyl, who raised her hoof in response. Zipporwhill looked at Vinyl, then back at Twilight. “Why didn’t you bring your other marefriends?” “Other… marefriends?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Yeah! You know, like Rainbow Dash or Applejack.” “Yeah, why didn’t you bring your other marefriends, Twilight?” Vinyl teased with a smirk. “Um, well… you see...” Twilight looked down and twiddled her hooves. “They may be mares who are my friends, but they’re not my marefriends. Vinyl is my only marefriend.” “I don’t get it,” Zipporwhill replied. “How aren’t they your marefriends?” Twilight’s face burned a shade of roseate. “Uh… uhm…” “Ask your parents,” Vinyl said. “Okay!” Zipporwhill shot off. Twilight glared at Vinyl. “I had it under control.” “Oh, yeah,” Vinyl said with a chuckle, “you were a real smooth operator there.” “I was just about to explain it, thank you very much.” “Knowing you, you would have ended up accidentally explaining the birds and the bees to her. Or in our case, the birds and the birds… or would it be the bees and the bees?” Twilight snorted. “I got my information from a textbook. I never learned that euphemism.” “Yeah, I never got it either. Seemed like a lot of nonsense to explain something simple, really.” Twilight nodded. “I concur.” Twilight and Vinyl sat in silence, Twilight watching the party going on and Vinyl laying back with her eyes closed. Twilight noticed that the guests were still having a good time—even the adults, despite the horrific music playing. “So her name’s Zipporwhill?” Twilight facehooved. “Yes, her name’s Zipporwhill.” “‘Kay. Just checking.”
