Chapters Author's Note
Okay so technically this prologue really isn't 100% necessary to read and you can just skip on ahead if you want. All it does is sort of lay out a background and set the mood for the story and to be honest it's kind of dull. I still felt like it would be needed though just so the other "chapters" didn't seem to just start randomly without a real introduction. So if it's boring/too slow, I assure you the rest isn't as bad.
Prologue
You were even starting to think that getting zapped here somehow had been for the better. Were starting to think. Now you weren’t so sure how much better off you were in Magical Talking Horse Land.
Truth be told, your old life back on Earth actually wasn’t that bad, just monotonous. Every day was indistinguishable from the next. It was clockwork. A repetition of seemingly meaningless events and actions repeated over and over. Why did everything feel so pointless? It’s not like you were some loner with no friends or family. You were pretty close to your friends and family, in fact. So why did an empty feeling of loneliness always gnaw at you when you were with them?
For all the friends you had, and as close as you were to your family, something, well someone felt missing from everything. You remembered all the times you felt lonely even when people who cared about you were with you and suddenly it hit you. It was so obvious that it had been staring you straight in the face this whole time. It was the reason you were cooped up in your house now after all. You were single.
The problem was that you never found that right person you ever wanted to share your life with. Granted you were still young and had a whole life ahead of you, but so many of your friends had found a loving partner at some point, why couldn’t you? All your life you never once really had a romantic relationship once and for some reason it always bothered you more than you felt it should. To make matters worse, there was one holiday dedicated to reminding you that you were alone.
Since coming to Equestria you have become certain that most major holidays have some sort of counterpart they related to back on Earth. They didn’t seem to celebrate the exact same ones however, so you secretly hoped that there was one in particular that didn’t carryover to your new home. Your hope was shattered when you found out that a holiday called Hearts and Hooves Day was the very thing you had been secretly dreading.
Just another screwball life threw at you so you could be miserable again. Maybe the universe did hate you. Considering the day you absolutely despised most of the year back on Earth somehow followed you to Equestria, it’s possible. Valentine’s Day, or “Forever Alone Day” as you dubbed it, had a sister holiday in Equestria called “Hearts and Hooves Day.”
Twilight Sparkle had mentioned it in passing a few weeks ago. In fact, all the ponies you were friends with had brought Hearts and Hooves Day up at some point or another. You distinctly remember the topic having been brought up by Twilight when she asked if you had anything like it back on Earth to which you gave a one word answer. She took the hint and didn’t bring it up again.
That hadn’t stopped your other friends from mentioning it with you, though. It wasn’t like they meant to upset you or anything, but every time somepony brought the day up it only made you realize how alone you still felt in your new life. Yesterday you just decided to lay low in your house all day since you figured your friends were probably off having fun with their dates. Why else would they have been talking about today so much the weeks prior? Probably excitement.
Whatever the reason, they were out probably on dates while you stayed inside your house doing… nothing? Come to think of it, you never planned an activity to keep yourself occupied today. Apparently brooding doesn’t kill time to well.
You didn’t even have work today since the Cakes had given you off because they assumed you would want to spend time with your special “somepony” on Hearts and Hooves Day. It was good-natured enough, but it only made you more depressed when they reminded you about Hearts and Hooves Day and you being single. You still took the day off deciding you could try to get through the day in your house without having to see other couples blissfully in love.
So now what? You didn’t feel like working in a place where tons of couples would be streaming in and out, so it wasn’t an option to go and tell the Cakes you actually wanted to come in today. See if somepony wants to hang out? All your friends are probably busy with preparations for later this afternoon with their dates. Wait a minute, did they even have dates? Sure they were talking about today an awful lot and even asking you about your “plans,” but they never explicitly mentioned having dates.
No. There’s no way they're spending today alone. The only trouble they probably had was choosing from the ponies lining up for a chance to be with them. Seriously, if they were human you totally would have asked one out by now. Heck, you probably would have asked a few ponies out by now if they were human. The problem was they weren't and you were a big hairless ape in a land of talking horses.
Far as you saw things, however low your chances were on Earth of finding someone, they had gone negative once you arrived in Equestria. After all, you probably looked like some sort of big hairless ape to them. To be fair, they looked like cartoon horses meant to be on a show for little girls to you, but over time you have managed to connect to them more as “people” than anything.
That being said, you weren’t sure how one of them would react if you asked one out. It was probably safer to just stay friends than risk turning the town against you, or at the least, making things awkward. You sighed and got off your couch deciding to go for a walk to the library and ask Twilight for a book. That would give you something to do at least.
Getting up from your couch and walking to the door you wondered if it was Valentine's Day on Earth. All you knew was that it was just the beginning of Hearts and Hooves Day in Equestria. It was also still fairly early in the morning, so you just hoped you wouldn’t pass by too many couples on your way out.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Even in a town full of gleeful, brightly colored ponies you found it hard to give yourself a decent reason to be happy today. You probably could thank your lucky stars you hadn't been transported to a world full of demonic wolves that attack you through angles in your dreams or something. Seriously, that'd just be weird. But in all seriousness you had swallowed a major emo pill today and found yourself unable to find anything to be really thankful for at the moment.
Hearts and Hooves Day was after all just Valentine's Day in Equestria, and as a "forever alone" kind of guy, that meant today might as well as not exist for you. In fact it would probably be better if it didn't exist for you. Unfortunately it did, and now you were stuck having to live through it because clearly the universe must hate you. At least you felt like that right now. It was why you were off to the library to grab a couple of books to read while you holed up in your house for the day, after all.
You walked by Sugarcube Corner and noticed the Cakes preparing all the love-themed deserts inside. You were glad they had given you off today in order to "be with your special somepony" even though you didn't have one. Though it was a good enough excuse to use so you wouldn't have to watch ponies with their own special someponies all day while you worked in the bakery. Walking onwards , you get a strange feeling of being watched and look over your shoulder. Nothing.
Wait, is that cotton candy you smell? Turning about face you suddenly bump noses with lovechild of the Energizer Bunny and Sheogorath.
"Hi, _____! I thought you weren't coming in to work today! Wait, are you? No, that can't be right. The Cakes told me you weren't and I thought it must be because you had a date today with your special somepony. But you're not with a special somepony! Are you going to go get her? Is it a her? If it's not there's nothing wrong with that. I had this one cousin who had a friend who had an uncle with a roommate that was with another stallion. So like I said, nothing wrong with that! But why are you here, then? Ooh! I know! You were on your way to the library to go get a book to distract yourself from the state of your lonely existence in a world where you're the only one of your species on a day when everypony isn't meant to be alone!"
"Um... yes?" you said unable to think of anything else.
"Oh, okay!" Pinkie says before bouncing off past you, cheerfully.
Pinkie was always able to cheer you up in most cases. Or she just really pissed you off. But even when she did you could never stay too mad at her for long. She had a strange effect on you where no matter how mad you were at her, you couldn't help but smile and just have fun with her antics. This was the first time that hadn't happened. This time, Pinkie had made you feel even more depressed than you thought you were going to be today, smiling in her usual way all the while.
"Hey, whatcha thinking about?" she asks looking down at you. Down? Where is she that she's looking down at you? Oh yeah, she jumped on your shoulders when you were brooding about your depression because Pinkie Logic.
"Pinkie I'm not in the mood today. Can you please just leave me alone?" you said with a frown.
"What? What's wrong, _____?" Pinkie asked as she hopped down and began to walk beside you.
"It's just, it's just stupid. That's all," you said, not in the mood to get into your feelings with the pink mare at your side. As much as you enjoyed Pinkie, she wasn't exactly the pony you would go to for a deep conversation or anything overly serious. Still it might be good to vent to someone... somepony .
"Stupid as in taking a "leap of faith" off a really tall building and thinking you'll survive just because there's a small pile of something soft on the ground below? Ooh! What about stupid as in escaping from a horde of angry guards by sitting on a bench in the middle of two other humans who only look slightly similar to you? Or stupid as in you just don't want to talk about how lonely you feel?"
"Uh the last one," you said, bewildered as usual by her offhand comments. "The first things you said were just retarded."
"Oh, okay!" Pinkie said before she bounded off for the second time.
"Jeez, doesn't she have work or something?" you mutter to yourself as you keep walking through town.
"Nope! I already made enough treats for today, so now I can spend the day off!" Pinkie yelled from behind you.
"How did you, you know what? Nevermind. I'll see you around, Pinkie," you yell back before you move on. About twenty minutes later you reach your destination with no more "encounters" with the Pink Menace. You open the library doors to find what you definitely had not expected nor wanted to see in the Golden Oak Library. No, get your mind out of the gutter! Didn't you see the rating I gave these stories? Seriously, if Pinkie Pie can break the fourth wall so can I.
"SURPRISE!"
A spray of pink and red confetti is blasted into your face as you walk into the library. Recovering from a mini heart attack, you open your eyes to see a big banner stretched across the ceiling that reads "Singles Party." Oh God, Pinkie what have you done?
Before you knew, it you were pushed into a chair in front of a table by Pinkie and found yourself face to face with a mare with an electric blue mane and sunglasses on.
"Uh hi?" she said looking from Pinkie to you.
"Now kiss!" Pinkie said happily attempting to push you both together.
"Pinkie, no! This is not okay!" you yelled, resisting her with all your might.
"Dude, what the shit is wrong with your friend?" the mare across from you yelled.
"I'm not sure to be honest," you managing to free yourself from Pinkie. "Pinkie seriously, what the crap was that about?"
"You said you were lonely before. So I decided to throw you and all the other single, lonely ponies a party!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Uh, sorry dude. I'm into mares," the sunglasses pony said before getting up and walking off to presumably go find like-minded mares. "But hey, good luck!" she yells back as she disappears into the crowd.
"Pinkie I didn't even know her! And something tells me you didn't either. How did you even get this whole thing together in such a short amount of time, anyway? You know what, no. Don't answer that," you said with fear of an explanation that would be lengthy enough to leave your skeleton confused.
"I'm sorry, _____, I just wanted to see you smile today like every other pony," she said with a frown.
Well don't you feel like an a-hole? You sigh and wrap an arm around Pinkie. "Pinkie, I appreciate what you did, or tried to do for me. But you went about it the wrong way. Most people... well I guess ponies too, don't start kissing until they at least go on a date."
"So if I find you a pony to go on a date with, you'll be happy?" she asked with a noticeable return of her cheerfulness.
"Sure," you said with a smile. "I mean, if you can actually find a pony who wants to go out with me..."
"Great! Pinkie Promise you won't move!"
"Do I have to really Pinkie Pr-"
"PINKIE PROMISE!" she yells grabbing your shirt (somehow) with her hooves by the collar.
"I Pinkie Promise! I Pinkie Promise!" you say with the fear of God, Celestia, Luna, and Cthulu coursing through your entire body.
After what felt like dozens of "dates" with random ponies, the party seemed to finally start to calm down. It was also getting dark out and you hadn't even realized how long Pinkie had basically kept you prisoner. Out of all the ponies you met, only two outcomes ever played out. The first was that the mare Pinkie tried to set you up with wasn't compatible with you and she would part with you on amicable terms. The other outcome was that everything would be going really well until Pinkie would unceremoniously boot your "date" from her chair and rush off to find a new one.
"I thought that one purple Pegasus with the silver mane was gonna turn out well, too" you mumble as you watched Pinkie Pie push her back into the crowd. "Didn't she say she had a sister around town, too? Maybe I'll end up with her next so Pinkie can screw that up."
"Nope! Flitter couldn't come to this party! Maybe next time, _____!" With that, Pinkie bounced off to look for another victim. You sighed and buried your head in your hands while you waited for her to return. Counting off about ten seconds or so before Pinkie returned, you looked up and to your shock saw a mare whose face seemed glued to the table, void of consciousness.
"Pinkie, what did you do to her?" you groan.
"Oh _____, she was like this when I found her! Anywaaay... this is Berry Punch..." You bury your head back into your hands and slowly feel yourself drifting off as Pinkie basically acts out the date for both you and the inebriated mare across from you.
"Unh what happened? Where am I? Who are you people?! I will not be trapped in here like a rat!"
"_____ calm down! It's alright.'
"Sorry Twilight," you said groggily as you slowly got up from the chair you had been in for basically the entire day. Said chair was also the last sign of the party Pinkie had forced you to partake in. Somehow there was no trace left of the party Pinkie had thrown. Lazy writing? Pinkie Logic.
"You okay, _____?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah, I think so. Just tired. Hey, where were you all day and why did you let Pinkie Pie make a mess of your library?" you said as your senses and wits slowly returned to you.
"Broke a Pinkie Promise," Twilight said looking down with a shiver. That was all you needed.
You and Twilight say your goodbyes and you decide to just head home and sleep the rest of Hearts and Hooves Day away. On your way home you notice a pony with a straight mane walking with their head down. They stop and look up at you for a second before moving on. Isn't that Pinkie?
"Pinkie? Pinkie Pie!" you yell running over to her. "Hey, what's up with you? Your mane's all... flat."
"Oh, hey _____. I'm sorry I ruined your Hearts and Hooves Day," she said with a blank expression.
"What? No you... you didn't. I wasn't even really looking forward to this day anyway. Really it was better to spend it with a friend... and a bunch of random ponies... but still, you tried."
"So... you had fun?" she asked looking up at you.
"Yeah. I guess so. In a really strange way."
Pinkie's mane shoots back up to its usually puffy form and she smiles wide as the Cheshire Cat and starts to prance off rambling happily about making her friends smile.
"Hey Pinkie! Wait!" you yell as she turns to face you. "If you were trying to set me up with somepony all night, why did you always pull all the mares I got along with the best away from me?"
Pinkie's mane deflates a little and she looks to the ground shyly like a young child who knows they broke into the cookie jar before dinner. "I don't know... I just thought... I didn't feel good when other mares made you smile, or when you made them smile. I love to see other ponies smile. But I feel happiest whenever you're smiling. I don't know why."
"I think I know why," you said as you walked over to her. "It's the same reason I can't stay mad at you, even when you pull something like you did today."
"Why? Ooh is it because we both like cotton candy? Or because we're best friends?"
"Well, yes. But it's also something else," you said leaning down so your face is level with hers.
"Ooh I know!" Pinkie says, her eyes shining brightly. You both lean into each other as your lips touch just as they had been meant to all day.
"It's because of the way you make me smile," you said as you two part lips. Pinkie looks at you quizzically and shakes her head.
"No. That's not it!" she said to your surprise.
"What? But, Pink-" you started before Pinkie cut you off with her hoof to your mouth. She smiles and hugs you happily, never breaking the embrace as she tells you what you really meant to say.
"It's because I love you, silly."
By some miracle you had managed to so far make it through the day without seeing any ponies on your way to the library. They were all still probably getting ready for Hearts and Hooves Day, something you didn't have to worry yourself over. All you needed for the day was a couple of books to pick up from the library so you could distract yourself from the festivities. It wouldn't be so bad if you weren't alone on the day dedicated to romance because you were the only one of your species.
Granted you never had too much luck romance back on Earth either, but at least there it seemed possible to eventually find someone. Here, where you were basically an alien, it seemed about as likely as the sky raining flaming dogs while giant rats run amok in the town square. Actually Nevermind, this crazy world probably has seen something like that before. Okay, your chances of finding love in Equestria are about as slim as the apocalypse I mentioned above happening back on Earth. Yeah.
You continued your walk down the streets of Ponyville lost in your depressive mind until you felt your face become acquainted with the ground. You cursed to yourself before getting up to look around for what might have tripped you. It wasn't something, however, rather than someone .
"Hi, Fluttershy," you said in a voice that was low enough so as to not startle her.
"Oh, hello _____," Fluttershy said in her whisper level voice. "Sorry I got in your way. Um, are you alright?"
"Yeah, I think I'm fine. I might have to sue you though if I'm not," you said jokingly, though Fluttershy seemed more confused than even the reader who wondered why that stupid line was used as a joke. "Fluttershy calm down it's just a dumb joke. You good? " you asked as you helped her up and brushed yourself off.
"Yes," she said with a blush as you fixed her mane. "I um, I should go."
Yeah, she always bolts when you're around. At first it seemed to be because she was afraid of you, but you managed to one day sit her down and convince her you were for the most part harmless. After that it seemed like she wouldn't shut up or leave you alone up to about a week ago when she reverted back to being Yellow Quiet with you. Today was no different except you figure she's off to go get ready for her date this time. Shrugging it off, you go on your way until you notice Rarity struggling with a couple of boxes of what seems to be fabrics or cloth for her store.
"Hey Rarity let me get some of those for you," you said as you walked over to help your friend.
"Thank you darling!" Rarity said as you took a few boxes off the top of the stack she levitated in the air with her magic.
"Yeah no problem," you said as you two walked to her shop together. "It looked like these were about to fall off the top."
"Yes, I'm afraid I'm not quite as proficient in magic as a unicorn such as Twilight," Rarity admitted.
"But you're really good at other things," you said as you began struggling with the load in your arms. "How much farther is it?"
Rarity smiled and assured you it wasn't too much farther. Once you both reached the Boutique you put your boxes down so you could hold the door open for Rarity who looked at you in surprise before walking through. You picked up the boxes you had left on the ground and followed her through to set the boxes down next to where she had laid the ones she carried. You decided you weren't in a hurry and asked Rarity if she needed anything else while you were there.
"Oh? Well that's awfully kind of you darling, but you surely must have plans for today."
"No, trust me I don't," you said suddenly remembering why you had been so down earlier. You decide to turn it around on her to have a little fun. "In fact, I'm surprised you don't have any plans for today."
"Yes, well I received a rather large amount of last minute orders this Hearts and Hooves Day and I'm afraid I simply can't afford myself time to go out this year. As for yourself, I'm astonished that a gentleman such as yourself did not find a partner for the day."
Now she turned it around on you, maybe that's why you considered her your best friend. You felt a little flustered by the compliment and sheepishly admitted that you figured nopony in town saw you as anything more than a friend. Rarity shrugs and mentions that there have been stranger couples in Equestria, causing you to wonder if maybe it wouldn't hurt to go out on a limb to ask somepony out today.
"Actually, I have thought of a task you can do for me, darling," Rarity said with a grin. You ask what it is and Rarity says that she had left a sketchbook for her dress designs at Fluttershy's house. Obviously she wanted you to go retrieve it. You agree and walk off with a hope Fluttershy doesn't faint at the sight of you like she seemed to always be on the verge of doing recently.
"Fluttershy?" you yelled knocking on her door. No answer. "Fluttershy?" you tried again with a much quieter tone and softer knocks.
"Hello?" a barely audible voice sounds through the door. "Oh... _____. Would you like to come in?"
"Sure," you said as Fluttershy moved out of the doorway to let you in. You had never been to Fluttershy's house before and you had a feeling she never really had many ponies there at all. It definitely looked like the home of someone about to enter the crazy cat lady stage of her life, but then again so did Rarity's Boutique.
"So um, why are you here? I mean, you don't have to answer," Fluttershy said as her voice began to trail off.
"I'm here to ask you what your fetish is," you teased as Fluttershy blushed redder than a drunk ginger. As much as you tried not to rustle her jimmies, sometimes you couldn't resist. You weren't enough of a d-bag to actually ever do anything that you thought would hurt her, of course. But it also wasn't in your nature to pass up an opportunity to mess with someone. "Fluttershy relax, I'm just kidding. I'm here for Rarity's sketchbook."
"Oh, ok..." Fluttershy said looking down and walking over to a nearby table to give you the sketchbook. You thank Fluttershy and go to leave when instead your brain decides to rustle more jimmies.
"Hey Fluttershy?"
"Yes?"
"What are you doing for Hearts and Hooves Day? You got a stallion to take you out?" you asked with a grin.
"Um no..." Fluttershy says looking down, embarrassed.
"Oh come one you can tell me!" you said moving closer to her. "I bet you get all sorts of attention since that modeling you did."
"_____ please stop..." Fluttershy whimpered. What was she so upset about?
"Fluttershy I'm sorry I was just teasing you," you said leaning down and pulling her into a hug. "I didn't mean anything, you don't have to ell me who it is if you don't want to."
Fluttershy hasn't moved since your arms wrapped around her and she mumbles something inaudible. You hold her a little farther away so her voice isn't as muffled, asking her what she said. Fluttershy responds with another mumble you can't understand.
"I said I don't have a special somepony," she said sadly.
"What? Okay now that's a good one," you said with a laugh. "I'll see you later, Fluttershy."
"I don't," Fluttershy said louder than was normal for her. "I never had a special somepony."
"Well, if it makes you feel better," you said, "I never had a special someone back where I'm from either."
"I'm sorry, _____," she said moving in and hugging you. You felt your heart skip a beat and returned the hug as you realized your eyes were stinging. Why is everything getting so blurry? Oh, your crying. Wait, seriously? "Are you okay, _____?"
"Yeah, don't worry," you said with a forced smile. "I just... it just sucks being alone... doesn't it?"
"It does," Fluttershy said looking at the ground bashfully. "Sometimes I feel like nopony ever actually notices me. Even when I'm with my animals I just feel so lonely. No stallion ever gives me attention. I just feel invisible, even when I'm with you and all our friends. Um, do you ever feel that way?"
"All the time," you related.
"I'm sorry," Fluttershy says looking down again. "It must be even harder being the only one of your kind here."
"Yeah, I mean it was at first when some ponies would just run away at the first sight of me," you said with a playful nudge. "But now things are better."
Fluttershy apologizes again and keeps her eyes to the floor. You roll your eyes and tell her it's just another joke as you run a hand through her mane to try to loosen her up. Fluttershy smiles and lays her head against your chest as you continue stroking her pink mane gently.
"I'm sorry, _____," Fluttershy says out of nowhere.
"For what?" you ask in bewilderment.
"I can't be your special someone," Fluttershy says turning to look at you, "but I can be your special somepony ."
You both got a few looks from other ponies in town as you walked back to Rarity's store but they weren't of disapproval. Turns out Rarity must have been right about weirder couples, because nopony really seemed to make a big deal of you and Fluttershy walking together as a pair.
"There you are! Don't you know how imperative it was you returned my sketches to me?" Rarity fumed as you walked in the door of the Boutique. "And you! You should be ashamed of yourself, darling! Why, with your grace it should not have taken nearly as long as it did for you to seduce, ____!" Rarity said as she turned to Fluttershy.
"Wait, you planned this?!" you asked in shock.
"Of course! Do you really believe me so absent-minded as to leave my sketches behind? I must say I am disappointed even further in you right now, _____," Rarity said with a flip of her mane.
"Well, in that case why didn't you just leave a bunch of papers at Fluttershy's that you didn't need and ask me to go get them?" you said.
"Please, darling! You have no sense of theatrics!" Rarity said as she rolled her eyes. "But do tell, how did it go?"
"How what went?" asked Fluttershy innocently.
"Oh I give up! You two are perfect for each other! You're both the most clueless individuals I have ever met!" Rarity said as she used her magic to snatch the sketchbook from your hands and retreat into her inner sanctum.
Well she was right about one thing, you two are pretty clueless. Oh yeah and I guess you do make a nice couple, too.
