Rid of Our Enemies

by Autistic Writer

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Romance, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3416

Discord and Bill team up to rid themselves of their enemies by making them fight, however things become problem maniac when the two problems become the best of friends.

Discord and Bill Cipher (From Gravity Falls) decide to rid themselves of their enemies; Twilight Sparkle and Dipper Pines by sending them into a portal and canceling the other out, however things go wrong when they realize that Dipper and Twilight become the best of friends. Other factors might come to pass such as love. Will Dipper and Twilight work together to defeat their enemies?

Published 2015-02-12 12:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-12 12:00:01 UTC

The Deal

Rid of Our Enemies

Chapter One: The Deal

Discord was lucky to get out of there before Twilight and her friends were able to contain him in stone again. Discord had managed to break out of his stone prison once more. Those six ponies were beginning to be a real thorn on his side, especially the purple unicorn known as Twilight Sparkle. Despite his best efforts, Discord still couldn't defeat Twilight. It was like a cockroach that still moved after being squashed. Discord needed a way to eliminate her once and for all. She was the glue that held her friends together. Taking Twilight out of the picture would cause the other elements to crumble since the five elements can’t work without the sixth element. Taking Equestria would be much simpler.

“That was a close one” Discord panicked as he teleported from Equestria to the outreaches of space.

Discord needed a drink for his dry throat and to take his mind off his small problems. He knew just the place to kill two birds with one stone, The Nether Space. The Nether Space was a dimensional drinking club that most reality-warping being go to in order to escape the problems of their current dimension.

Discord opened the door to the tavern seeing familiar faces of existing or former villains. Discord made sure not to keep to his business like most of the villains. The draconequus floated to a table as a ghost made her way to Discord.

“Hello Discord, what will it be” The ghost smiled

“Why thank you, I think I will go with the usual drink of choice” Discord exclaimed

“Chocolate milk decorated with dark whipped cream” The ghost smiled

“That’ll do and keep them coming” Discord nods as he contorted his body around the waitress like a snake. Due to her ghostly body, she simply phased out of him.

“Oh stop it, Discord. You know I am still working” The waitress giggled. “Besides, I thought you were still with that princess?”

“Oh you mean Celestia? Nah, she doesn’t like me that much” Discord re-entered his seat and smiled.

As the waitress left, Discord stared off seeing the other beings were discussing among themselves. Discord used his left ear to eavesdrop on the conversations they were having.

Discord couldn’t help but listen in on the failures of other villains. Maybe Discord could use a recycled plan from one of these villains.

Discord lost focus that he didn’t realize that his special chocolate milk order was in front of him. He looked down seeing the foamy drink was morphing into Twilight Sparkle and was laughing at him. It even spoke in her voice.

This is so typical of you, Discord. Not smart enough of thinking of your own plan, so you use somepony else’s plan.

Discord growled as he munched off the foaming chocolate whipped cream. Twilight wasn’t even around and she still was insulting his power. Discord gulp down his chocolate milk as he was so ill-tempered that he looks at the other beings with a fury in his eyes that they looked like they could bite.

“WHAT?” He roared in anger “Having seen a chaotic being devour chocolate milk before?”

As Discord drank his fifty fifth glass of chocolate milk, he turned seeing his bill for the drinks dropped from One hundred and ninety nine bits to zero. This in the bar was code for someone else paying for Discord’s drink. Discord looked around seeing where his mysterious benefactor was.

Suddenly, in front of Discord, a pyramid shape was forming in front of him. it spoke to him.

“Whoa, never really seen a large goat with limbs of other beings gulp down a lot of chocolate milk before. Must be a new one for the books” Discord heard the voice. He knew the shape and voice of who this being was.

“Bill Cipher, you finally broken out of your seal” Discord smirked as he saw the triangle shaped pyramid with a bow tie and top hat appear in front of him.

“Yea and I see you don’t have much of a hard head” Bill giggled as he lightly tapped Discord's head.

“Well, at least I have no trouble finding books” Discord starting to feel insulted

“Well, at least i am worshipped” Bill glared with his one eye.

Discord and Bill stared down at one another. The two villains then let out a big laugh. Bill grabbed a large glass of soda and giggled with Discord.

“I can’t stay mad at you” Bill started to manically laugh with his old friend.

“Well it’s a good thing you aren’t a square” Discord smiled as he was glad to get his mind off his frustrations. Bill was probably one of the only people Discord could be himself around.

“How have you been Bill? I think the last time I heard about you, there was something about gathering some books to stop the end of the world or something?” Discord tried to get an angry glare off Bill.

“It’s a work in progress. What about you obtaining a place called Equestria? Something about two sisters encasing you in stone” Bill snickered as he morphed into Discord. “Look at me, I’m Discord. It only takes six magical shiny rocks and I am down for the count”

“I only let them get the better of me once, and once will only be it” Discord glared

“Well at least your problem is little when it comes to me?” Bill said asking the waitress for another drink.

“What’s bothering my best friend” Discord snaked around his bed friend before sitting next to him drinking a glass of chocolate milk.

“Well, much like you, I am dealing with a little problem myself. There’s this human called Dipper Pines. He has these three books that I can’t seem to grasp from his grippy little fingers” Bill slightly pushing away his drink. He snapped his fingers to pay the bill and put away the drinks the villains were having.

“So, Dipper Pines and Twilight Sparkle” Discord sang “The two thorns in our side in which we can’t get rid of”

“Yep” Bill agreed “No matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to shake them off. they are like two clingy monkeys that we can’t get off our backs”

“If only there was a way for them to get off our backs and fight each other” Discord pondered.

“Yea, make them fight one another and those two will tired each other out” Bill giggled as he was thinking along with Discord.

Two light bulbs banged together as Bill and Discord rose and looked at one another. “MAKE THEM FIGHT EACH OTHER”

“Oh Discord, you are a genius” Bill crossed his arms in support.

“No Billy, I think you got this one in the bag” Discord commented on Bill’s genius.

“But, the question remains is how do we make them fight?” Bill fiddled with his top hat.

“Twilight won’t come willingly and this Dipper of yours isn’t much of an idiot either. There has to be a common reason to bring the two together” Discord twirled his beard.

“Why don’t we have Twilight come to Dipper’s world” Bill offered

“Nah, that doesn’t seem very likely” Discord said “Besides, Twilight would adapt to being in his world”

“What about Dipper going into Equestria” Discord continued

“Nah, that weenie will just learn to control his hooves….Though I do like him becoming something he isn’t” Bill smirked “OH, I got it”

Bill started to whisper to Discord about his whole idea. Discord, at first, wasn’t enthusiastic about Bill’s plan. Then, Bill muttered some things that excited Discord to his chaotic center. “Ohhhh, now I am invested. So, how do we convince them of going there? Twilight will recognize me and the Pine boy will know who you are”

“Don’t worry, I have the perfect idea of how to convince those ‘heroes’ of our plan” Bill collected his fingers in a sinister way.

Dipper was trying to read the journal. Dipper felt a bit discomforting when Bill had taken over his body. He had gotten a well deserved rest and his body was back to normal. Yet, he still felt the tense feeling that he was being watched. Not by another person of course, but the creeping entity feeling as if Bill was watching him.

“Bill, I know you are out here” Dipper roared “Come on out”

Dipper looked around his bedroom. There wasn’t much noise in the room, but he still felt the tense feeling. Dipper turned around hoping to get a read into the story. Suddenly, his book was gone. Dipper dived down as he looked around.

“Oh no no no, where is it” Dipper panicked

“Hi Dipper” the giggling voice of his sister, Mabel zoomed into the room acting like an airplane.

“Mabel, did you take the journal again” Dipper asked with an upset tone in his voice.

“Nope, I don’t even touch your stuff remember?” Mabel said staring at her brother.

“I know I put it right there” Dipper said pointing to the ground as he saw the book he thought was gone had appeared back on the ground.
“You are acting crazy, Dipper. I think you need more rest” Mabel smiled “You have been through a lot. From Bill taking over your body to you letting go of Wendy, don’t you think you need some rest”

Dipper felt a bit of anger, but he took a breath in and then exhaled knowing his sister was absolutely right. He was tired, but he also felt a bit of loneliness ever since he decided to move on from Wendy. “You are right; I guess I am a little tired”

“Good, now you rest while I tell everyone you are resting” Mabel smiled at her brother

“Okay, thank you Mabel” Dipper smiled

As soon as his sister left, he decided to ignore her advice and keep reading the journal. Dipper figured something supernatural just happened a few minutes ago. Dipper needed to look into it. Suddenly a pair of eyes laid upon the pages.

“AHHHHHHHHH” Dipper leaped out from the floor in a scream.

“Man, you are a bit jumpy kid” the being laughed as the eyes disappeared.

“Bill, you better stop that and come on out” Dipper growled. Dipper suddenly realized that this being wasn’t Bill. Bill only had one eye while this creature had two. Though, he was probably tired and wasn’t thinking straight.

“I don’t know who this Bill is, but I will play along” The creature revealed itself to be a narrow figure with a tail, a lizard’s leg, a horse’s hoof, a lion paw, an eagle claw and a head of a goat. Dipper couldn’t tell what the two horns were.

The creature extended his eagle claw to Dipper “What is up, partner? The name is Discord. Here is my card”

Dipper hesitantly grabbed the card of the creature seeing it was just a normal index card reading the creature’s name and that he was the spirit of Disharmony and Chaos. Dipper looked straight up at him seeing he was gone.

The young man turned from left to right in search of the being known as Discord. Suddenly, he appeared right in front of Dipper, causing the human to fall on the ground.

“Will you stop doing that” Dipper screamed

“Nope, but I am here with a reason” Discord said. “I am in desperate need of your assistance and only you can save my realm”

“Me? Realm? What are you talking about?” Dipper fixed his hat and looked at him.

Discord used his magic to reveal some events “You see Dipper, the realm I come from is a magical place consisting of talking creatures that wouldn’t normally talk in your world”

Dipper looked deadpanned “Have you been to this place? I think we have a different opinion on that one”

Discord ignored him and walked through him. “My kingdom was full of peace and prosperity until an evil little unicorn by the name of Twilight Sparkle found herself in possession of a magical book. It looks like this”

Discord shined the book that seemed familiar to Dipper. It was an old brown book with a golden hand printed on the book. The book had the number four on it. “ANOTHER JOURNAL”

“Yes, I believe it originated from your world that stumbled to here. I believe Bill threw it into the portal and now Twilight Sparkle is in control of it. I managed to grab it from her hooves. However, she is a sneaky one. She placed the real book in this realm and I need you to take it back to your world and keep it there” Discord begged as he reached Dipper’s shirt. “Pleases help me save my realm from a wicked little unicorn”

Dipper looked at the portal and then looked down seeing the sadness in the strange creature’s eyes. “Okay fine, I will help you”

Discord smiled as he looked at Dipper.

Hook, line and sinker

Twilight used her magic to put another book away. The alicorn yawned as it had been a year or two since she fought Discord with her friends. Twilight was on high alert for him, despite the protest of her friends telling her that she was too obsessed with this ordeal. Twilight was prepared to challenge Discord at any cost. He wasn’t going to break her friendship no matter what sinister plot he might have.

“Hi Twilight” Spike smiled

Twilight turned to Spike and smiled “Oh hi Spike, how was your evening with Rarity?”

“Oh, my evening with her was fine; just helped her along as usual. Do you still have that Discord alarm?” Spike looked at the strange device that had the shape of Discord’s head.

“Yes I do and it’s not an alarm. It’s more like an alert” Twilight corrected Spike as she fixed the alarm.

“Twilight, you are an alicorn princess. I think you can stop worrying about Discord. He isn’t coming back” Spike looked at her.

“Look Spike, everypony may have forgotten about him, but I haven’t. I am not going to act like nothing has happened. I am going to get him no matter what” Twilight went back to her books.

“Fine, but at least try to have a normal life. Everypony is worried about you. You haven’t eaten much in days, haven’t been outside in week except for the occasional trips to the market. You haven’t even been on a date” Spike crossed his claws at her.

“Spike, I told everypony I am fine. I have eaten some food and my trips to the store have been more about food and supplies I might need for the library. Besides, I am far too busy to be dating anypony” Twilight continued her work.

“Goodnight Twilight” Spike sighed knowing he would be in a losing battle. He was really concerned about Twilight.

As Twilight went back to her studies, she saw a strange visual depicting a pyramid shaped being with one eye. It wore a top hat and a bow tie like a gentlecolt would. Twilight shook her head trying to focus in the book.

“Wow, he was right, you are a lonely little pony” The picture giggled.

“WOAHHHHHHHHHHH” Twilight jumped out of her stool getting spooked by the freaky image.

“Whoa there little missy didn’t mean to scare you” The pyramid creature sprouted from the book as it stared her down with one eye.

“Who are you” Twilight yelled as her horn emitted a purple aura.

“Hey hey now, let’s not fight. I just want to talk to you. I have heard of the great exploits of the infamous Twilight Sparkle and I was hoping that you could help me” Bill said

“How do you know my name?” Twilight said as she halted her magic.

“Who hasn’t heard of you? Your are the princess of friendship” Bill said

Seriously Discord, you are having trouble with a unicorn with wings. A creature that is a princess of the most ridiculous kind, I think anyone can become a princess now a days if we are giving princess such ridiculous rankings. Dipper will take her out easily.

“Thank you. You have heard of me? yet, you are still a mystery” Twilight flew up to Bill and circled around him to get a better look at her new visitor.

“My name is Bill Cipher, but you can call me Bill” Bill said bowing before Twilight as he grabbed his hat to bow before her.

“Oh, umm it’s okay” Twilight said. She was still new to subjects bowing before her since she was royalty now. “You said you needed my help?”

“Yes Twilight Sparkle. I am in desperate need of your assistance” Bill said before he showed her the dreamscape.

“For years, my universe has been plagued by a being of unspeakable evil” Bill said showing her Dipper. “His name is Dipper Pines and he is a creature welding several horrible books at his disposal”

Twilight gasped in horror that a creature like that would use books for evil purposes.

“Yes, this being is a nasty and sneaky being. However, he has learned that there is yet another evil book in existence” Bill said showing her a brown colored book with the golden hand and the number four on it. “This book could give Dipper the ability to no only take over the universe, but all universes including Equestria. I really need your help with this”

“Maybe we can reason with him or convince him to steer his evil ways” Twilight said

“Twilight, this being has destroyed all hope of redemption. There is no way we can reason with him. I really need your help with this one”

“Well, maybe we can ask Princess Celestia” Twilight said as she prepared to wake up Spike.

“NO” Bill roared before he snapped himself out of his anger “Are you always going to listen to what Princess Celestia has to say. do you need mommy’s permission to go and save the world?”

“I don’t and I just want to make sure everything was alright?” Twilight said

“I don’t want Dipper hurting the ones you call your friends” Bill floated near a photo of Twilight and her friends. He revealed the photo to Twilight and created a scenario of her friend’s being harmed by an evil Dipper. “What if one of your friends got hurt because of Dipper? How would you live with the guilt that it is your fault that they were there?”

Twilight looked down. She never thought of the possibility of her friends getting hurt in such a fashion. She knew she had shoulder the burden of this journey. She looked over at Spike and Bill put his hand on her shoulder.

“Even the dragon mustn’t know about this. Besides, you will be back before they will even suspect you are gone” Bill smiled

“So, what do you say” Bill continued as he extended his hand.

Twilight looked at Bill, as she couldn’t tell if he was a friend or foe.

As soon as Bill entered a large arena, he looked up at the draconequus who was placing the book on the throne.

“There we go, and now the finishing touches. I see you are back” Discord remarked as he saw Bill floating towards him.

“The unicorn with wings bought the whole story. she just need to prepare herself for Dipper”

“The same goes with the weenie” Discord crossed his arms. “Are you quite certain your Dipper will prove a challenge for Twilight”

“Certainly, I just need to know if your Twilight is as powerful as you say she is.” Bill looked up at Discord.

“A toast to the eventual demise of our enemies” Discord summoned a glass of chocolate milk and Bill held a glass of soda.

“May we be rid of them forever” Bill raised his glass and connected it with Discord’s and drank away in an evil laughter.

Author's Note

I don't own the rights to my Little Pony. I don't own the rights to Gravity Falls.

Gravity Falls is owned by Disney.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro.

I thought i would make my first crossover seeing how much people will enjoy this story. I wonder how Twilight and Dipper will react to one another.

Tell me what you guys think of this chapter.

Until then, see you later.