A Farmers Tools

by Imperium Bedlam

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Crossover, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 15373

After spending a few thousand years in stone, one particular Displaced, in the form of Malthael, just wants to enjoy the simple things in life.

Nine billion nine hundred ninety-nine million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-eight, nine billion nine hundred ninety-nine million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine, ten billion.

There is only so many times one can count to ten billion before it gets boring, and that would be the first time. I've spent so long just standing here watching the days go past that I feel as though it would only take a glass of water to sway me.

I don't hate the sisters for what they've done, they made the right choice in their position. Who knows, maybe I'll go back to counting after I've gotten out of here. Maybe.

I suppose peace was too much to ask for.

Alright, this is mostly just written as a joke so don't take it too seriously and I'm sorry if I offend anyone... somehow. Oh and this is a Displaced fic, so go ahead and hate on it if you want.

Published 2015-02-12 21:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-14 12:06:33 UTC

The Rake

"Miss Cheerilee, what about the one over there?"

The foal pointed her hoof towards a different statue, one separated from the rest. An almost imperceptible shield shimmering slightly as the rest of the foals neared, more than one of them shivering as they got closer. The various runes carved into the ground marked a few clear circles around the base of the statue, the innermost one constantly spinning and rearranging.

Cheerilee hastily pulled one of the foals back from poking the shield as she cleared her throat. "None of you are to go anywhere near that statue, but you are allowed to look as much as you like. Does anypony have an idea as to what this statue represents?"

A few of the foals were a bit downtrodden at being unable to touch the odd statue, except for the three arguing loudly amongst themselves to the back.

"Obviously it's about fear!"

"An' I say it represents the dark!"

"Oh yea, well I think it means sadness!"

The three fillies got roughly bumped on the head as their teacher stood behind the three of them. She glared down at them slightly before turning back to the rest of the class. "In a way you're all right." Cheerilee moved closer to the field around the statue, looking at it almost sadly.

At once the three of them loudly said "Huh?!" as the rest of the class urged their teacher to continue.

In moments Cheerilee's kind smile was back in place while she waved a hoof in the general direction of the statue. "This statue represents Death itself, and serves as a constant reminder to us all that we should cherish each and every day. It teaches us that no matter who we are, pony or not, we must always keep our heads held high and our thoughts in the right place as Death l-"

"But what about the Princessesses?" Squeaked Sweetie Belle, the other two crusaders nodding their heads in agreement.

"Well Sweetie, if you want to know that then you'll have to ask them about that yourself." Cheerilee chuckled to herself as she headed towards the next exhibit, a rhino with five horns. "Come along class, we don't have all day."

The few foals unsatisfied with the answers of their teacher gave a mighty "Aww" as they followed her to the next statue, dragging their tiny hooves along the ground as the rest talked amongst each other.

Scarce few silent seconds passed before the unmistakable click clop of mismatched feet walked along the garden path, even as the rest of the body was making an impressive city out of pebbles and the head floated around the shielded statue.

"Hmm, you are an odd one aren't you? About as colorful as the shadow-man back when he hung out with Charlie Chaplin. Yet for some reason there's a fair bit of color in you. Well whatever, I'm a terrible judge of character and if you don't turn out to be half as bad as you look then you can strip my title of Judy."

Discord's (because honestly who else could it have been?) legs easily bulldozed their way threw the pebble city as his body threw a slight tantrum before reappearing beneath him to stroke his goatee. His legs kept on their forward march as they moved towards the shield, a few of the runes beneath it glowing brightly as the inner circle span faster.

"Well, you can't be half bad if you're out here instead of Tartaurus. Oh don't worry too much,they used to call me 'Cool Hand Dissy' in the old days." He creaked, yes creaked, his joints loudly as he raised a talon up. His mismatched feet easily moved through the shield before being held in place by the runes.

"Bippity~" his talon slowly lowered towards the shield, his hoof seeming to melt as it moved along the runes and slowly circled the statue.

"Boppity~" the point of his talon gently pressed against the bubble, his hoof moving faster as it smeared taffy over the runes. Discords clawed foot, on the other leg, jumped onto the hooved one and held on for dear life.

"Bo-" he barely even got to grin evilly as the shield instantly filled with a dark smoke that corroded against it slowly. Discords legs were visibly thrown against the shield before being shot out at Discord, launching him right out of the garden and far out of reach from the explosion that seemed to rock Canterlot castle.

"Grub's up family!" Applejack yelled out to the house, the sun setting outside the window as she gazed onto her orchard. She had spent her whole life tending and nurturing those trees, she was plenty thankful to her friends for helping her out of that weird mind control stuff Discord was doing. Without the lot of them she was pretty sure she wouldn't have the chance to keep enjoying her simple life.

Of course it was Applebloom who came down first, Granny Smith didn't count since she always stuck around the kitchen if the sun was near the horizon. Cheerfully AB sat down at her usual seat as she gazed at tonight's dinner and eagerly dug into it. She was almost half way through her meal when Big Mac came in, giving a simple nod as he sat down. He had to have at least four times as much food, though AJ didn't mind as it helped her keep up with her cooking skills.

Applejack herself gave a content sigh as she went to join them, only to be interrupted by a light knock at the door. A quick glance at the clock later caused her to quickly run her mind through her friends schedules. "Now I wonder who that could be..." She calmly walked towards the front door, opening it with a slight tension as she thought over the possibilities.

"Mighty late fer visitors dontcha thin-" Her life flashed before her eyes. In a mere instant she remembered everything from her first birthday, to two days ago when her and her friends had defeated Discord. All the way from A to B until she found herself staring under the hood of what she imagined would be her end. Her jaw hit the floor, eyes wide as she stared up at the one to cause her an unbridled amount of fear.

An awkward silence dragged on between them as neither spoke, one too shocked to comprehend who was here and the other thinking on his first words when at once he calmly bent down to her level and spoke with what sounded like many voices.

"Hello, I'd like to work here."

Author's Note

....what?

Alright if you're angry at me for doing this instead of working on ANiE then I'm sorry, I just honestly have no idea what to do with that story so for now I felt like writing something as a joke to help me think on it.

Also I'm running low on free time lately, which sucks, but I'll see how I go.

And no, I'm not really sure if this story warrants the Comedy or Slice Of Life tags, I'll jsut have to see how it turns out.

The Plough

"...Pardon?"

It had taken Applejack considerably longer than she'd thought to swap her flabbergasted expression for a more questioning one. She could tell he was being honest, but maybe she hadn't heard him right? "Could ya try sayin' that one more time, ah don't think ah heard you right, Mister...?"

"My name is Malthael," he punctuated this by standing up tall, his hood tilted down towards her so she could easily stare into the emptiness, "and I would very much like to work here."

So, she hadn't misheard him. She nervously chuckled as she stepped backwards a few steps. "Heheheh, just a moment. I'll be right back." The door slammed loudly and she ran back inside, almost visibly sweating as she came to the dining table and pointed a hoof at Big Mac. "Right Mac, we got ourselves a... guest outside, you keep an eye on 'im and I'll see what Twilight can make o' this."

Big Mac was just finishing off his home-style apple pie as he sent a curious glance to his sister. He decided to just see what was wrong instead of asking her about it and gave a slight nod as he finished his pie, casually walking past her and to the door. Applebloom had decided on asking AJ directly, even as AJ was just about to head out. "What's wrong sis?"

Applejack thought over her options carefully. "Don't worry 'bout it none Bloom, you just head on upstairs and get to bed alright?" Applebloom visibly deflated as she 'Aww'd' and made her way to her bedroom, silently deciding to investigate once Applejack was out of the house.

"Atta girl Bloom, ah should be back soon so don't fret about it." She gave the sleeping Granny Smith a quick nod before rushing back out the front, hurriedly explaining to Malthael as she passed him and a rather shocked Big mac on her way out. "Ah'll be back in a few, don't you go anywhere now y'hear?"

Malthael seemed to nod and she shared a quick look with her brother before heading out to Twilight's Library. Although Bic Mac's expression hadn't visibly changed, she could tell he was pretty put off by this. What was this anyhow? No matter how she thought on it none of this made any sense!

"Oh well, Twi should have an answer fer this."

Meanwhile, silenced reigned over the farm as the angel of death waited patiently. "I don't suppose I'm the reason she ran off like that?"

Big Mac was pretty hesitant to answer, and the multiple voices thing really put him on edge, but he couldn't deny the... thing an answer. "....Eeyup."

"Oh, well I'm sorry if I've bothered your family at all. I only wanted a job."

He was too polite for his appearance, which, even though it eased Big Mac's concerns slightly, the cold feeling of death and despair coming off of the thing kept him wary. Wait, job? "...what?..."

Another few moments of silence between the two, only broken as they both heard a scream coming from above. At once they looked up to see a frightened Applebloom as she tried to hide her head behind the windowsill.

"No Pinkie, we are not releasing Discord just to make an annual 'Chocolate Rain Day' each year. You know what he'll do."Twilight barely looked at her friend as she put each book into its proper place. Apparently Discord had left her a little parting gift.

"Pleeease Twilight?"

"No Pinkie!"

Pinkie's ears folded back slightly and she made her way back out, sighing sadly until she noticed Applejack running towards the library. Her characteristic smile returned as she waved to he friend. "Hey AJ, what's got you in such a-

"No time for chattin' Pinks, this is urgent!" And with that the library door slammed shut behind her.

"Well that was rude, I wonder what's got her apples in a bunch. Ooh that's a good one." She took a notepad and pencil out of her mane and quickly wrote her joke down before putting it back. How she managed to do this, I have no clue. After that she donned a ninja mask and snuck around the tree house before her head poked out of some of he leaves and looked in through the window.

Now Pinkie wasn't very good at reading lips, or listening for that matter, she could make out a few words as Twilight seemingly went through a small array of emotions before putting on a serious expression, nodded, and teleported them both away. Pinkie hm'd as she thought, a hoof to her chin as she tried to get to the bottom of this new mystery.

She casually took the bubble pipe out of her mouth and tapped it to her noggin' as she pondered aloud. "Woke, big guy, weird, job, Big Mac, watch. Hmmmmm. It would take a genius to figure out how these words go together. And I don't like to brag Doctor Branch, but I've already to the bottom of it."

Somehow as the wind went through the leaves it almost sounded as though the branch gave an exasperated sigh. "Oh don't be so downtrodden Doctor, maybe someday you'll learn a thing or two, moving forward though...." Pinkie gave a loud gasp as she looked to float a few feet in the air before her afterimage slowly began to fade.

One could faintly hear the words "New pony." in the far distance if they listened close enough. Or were right next to her like poor Roseluck who's poor ears never saw it coming. Because they were ears, and ears can't see.

A bright purple flash lit up the path to Applejack's home as both Twilight and AJ herself appeared, only a few feet from the door. "And you're sure he was telling the truth AJ?"

Applejack nodded as she looked to the door. "A hundred percent Twi, even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was bein' honest."

"Well alright then, I'd hardly be your friend if I didn't trust you on this AJ... wait, didn't you tell me Big Mac was keeping an eye on him by the door?"

Sure enough, the front door was closed and there wasn't any sign of Mac or Malthael. Suddenly the front door had become a lot more ominous as the sun finally set. "Honest or not, he better not have lain a hoof on mah fami-" She'd been cut off as the two of them heard a scream coming from inside, undoubtedly Appleblooms.

At once the two of them charged inside, AJ slamming the door loudly as the scream continued until they heard a slam, the evil sound of Malthael's quiet laughter coming soon after. They had assumed the worst, but they certainly weren't expecting the sheer dismay and confusion that came with what they saw.

"Ah can't believe you beat me again, this is totally unfair!." Applebloom threw her hooves into the air as Malthael continued to laugh, Big Mac watching silently though the barest hint of a grin could be seen. "Stop yer laughing! Big Mac's got one o' the best poker faces in Equestria an' ah can't even see yours under that hood!"

"Then don't look at my face, simply discern my motives through my actions." Said Malthael calmly as he re-shuffled the deck.

One loud thump could be heard and the three of them looked towards the two ponies awkwardly standing in the doorway. Well, one pony standing with her mouth open as the other laid on the ground unconscious.

"What in Equestria..."

Author's Note

Why is this popular? Can not compute.

In fact I've been so confused as to why this became popular that it's taken me a while to get my bearings straight since I have no idea what you people expect. As such I shall be making this story as originally intended.

I'll also be going on a trip for a few days so I wanted to get this out before then and sorry that it's a bit short, I've been getting pretty sick lately.

Oh and I have this annoying thing where I keep typing Malthael as Malitheus so if ya notice that could ya please point it out? Cheers.

The Shovel

"And what about this one?" The filly bounced down the halls gleefully as her mentor followed calmly behind. Each of the different murals she had seen held a story and her teacher had told her about them all. Well, most of them.

"Ah, this one." Her mentor seemed to shiver as she looked up at the glass. Memories she'd wished could be forgotten suddenly returning while she reluctantly thought best on how to phrase them.

"Long ago, only a few hundred years after the foundation of Equestria, a mysterious being appeared deep within the Everfree." A wing pulled the filly closer, though whether it was for her comfort or her mentors, neither of them could tell.

"Back then ponies were much simpler, and before then we had never known what a single being could be capable of..." She held back a tear as her eyes moved further up the mural.

"This, stranger, committed a terrible crime, and because of that a new visitor came to Equestria. She saw what he had done and she locked him away, leaving us with only a few words and a name." Though her smile had never left her, it seemed that now was the only time it became real.

"Who was she? And what did she say?" The foal had only become more curious as her teachers short story continued.

Her mentor looked to the top of the mural, the figure adorning it almost seemed menacing as it stood above the lower one. "She only told us, Dissy will probably let him out anyway', and her name was The N-"

Princess Celestia, diarch of Equestria, quietly sighed as she forwent old memories. They were only recent for her, but in the eyes of her ponies each day was as meaningful as the last. Still, she couldn't help as her smile faded somewhat. The mural she stared up at looming over her like a burden of the past, now becoming a stake to the heart at her recent discovery.

At the bottom of the mural stood a dark bipedal figure, face hidden under his cloak as the countless faded skeletons of his victims littered scenery around him. As the bottom faded to the top however, the scenery became much brighter. Wings of purple easily blinding out the bottom figures wings of darkness as the top figures arms crossed in the air above him, each hand holding onto an identical sword.

While the bottom figure's features lay mostly hidden, the tops were almost clear as day. Her hair was a jet-black as it fell just past her shoulders, her skin an earthy pink and her eyes a piercing blue as they stared gently down at the bottom figure. No matter how many years went by, Celestia felt she could never forget her.

It was with these memories in mind that she turned and headed up towards her room. She triple-locked and made sure to cast as many soundproofing spells as possible before she felt she would be in total privacy. She let her curtains block out the windows and lit a few candles around the room before tilting a framed picture of her and Twilight slightly to the left.

A hole appeared in one of the walls stones and she carefully slid her horn inside before casting approximately thirty seven spells in a certain order. Large sections of the wall began to rearrange into a hole containing one box and one large, chocolate, three-tiered buttercream cake.

Now, here is where it gets confusing. Don't blame me, blame mysterious other authors #1 and #2.

Celestia calmly floated the cake out of the hole and onto her bed while pulling out the box and carefully opening it. She lay the lid down to the side before floating out the waffle-iron inside. Placing it onto her dresser, she took a few moments to compose herself as she went over the ritual in her mind.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Once she believed herself completely and utterly prepared for it, she focused her magic onto her favorite gramophone, carefully lifting the needle as she replaced the vinyl on it for one labeled Symphony 9 - Beethoven. The initial bump gave way to the gentle picking up of the instruments while she gently picked up a piece of cake.

As the music came to a crescendo she slowly levitated herself around and onto the roof, piece of cake floating nearby as she calmly stood on her hind legs. Her forelimbs crossed over in front of her as the music began to pick up and she began to bite into the cake. At once the music reached a peak and she took greedy bites of the cake, unable to savor them as she began hopping forward, doing what was apparently called 'Gangnam Style'.

Three pieces of cake later, plenty of hoof-prints on the ceiling, and the music reaching the midway point, she finally heard a loud ding as the waffle-iron opened. She almost collapsed as she returned to normal gravity and finished off the cake in one fell swoop. Making sure to pull the pin off the gramophone, she lifted open the waffle-iron and pulled out the freshly baked cheese toasted sandwich from within and held it to her ear.

She almost sounded desperate as she spoke into it, having long gotten over the absurdity of the ritual. "Hello, is this The Nightingale?"

A loud, slightly creepy voice sounded out a reply while she absently packed the record away. "Well, could you please put me through to her?"

It wasn't her fault she sounded slightly disgusted, the one on the other end of the phone just sounded so.... odd. Her expressions only changed minutely as she heard the sounds of a scuffle on the other end of the cheese-toasty, ranging from confusion to apprehension before she reluctantly said once more, "Hello, is this The Nightingale?"

The perfectly made sandwich gave an affirmative.

“Thank harmony, after all these years I was hoping I hadn’t forgotten how to call you.” She let out a sigh of relief before her tone became more curious, “Who was that anyway?”

A few moments of silence kept on as only Celestia could hear those on the other end, one of them occasionally trying to annoy the other.

“...Well alright then. Back to the matter at hoof though…” She put on a more serious expression as she moved to the window, pulling the curtains aside and gazing worriedly down towards Ponyville before turning towards the Canterlot Gardens, and the now empty pedestal that stood there. “...Malthael has escaped. And just as you had said, Discord was behind it.”

She focused down towards the few tourists who had decided to tour the gardens, no doubt wondering about the pedestal and the ring of crabs surrounding it. Obviously, she couldn't risk anything until she was sure they were safe. A slightly worried chuckle escaped her as she replied to the ol' burned bread with cheese, “A little hard to now that my student and her friends have returned him to stone. As for Malthael however, so far my sister and I have gotten no news, though we doubt he is up to anything good.”

The answer she got while both almost inspiring, also filled her with mild agitation that she couldn't ignore. “Whether he chose to or not, that monster can never be forgiven for what he’s done.” Disgust rang out in her voice as she reflected on what he'd done. “Were it not for you, he may have finished what he started a thousand years ago.”

Celestia looked slightly fearful as the baked dough and dairy lectured her before she looked once more to her subjects and remembered her duties. "Very well, and if I do not accept him?"

She had known of course, what the being on the other end could be capable of. It was with these thoughts that she hid her worry behind a brave façade. “Very well. My sister and I will just have to see him for ourselves. But what do you mean by a lett-” There was a small flash of light as a letter, unmistakably one of Twilight's, appeared in front of her and she swiftly caught it. “Oh.”

Reading over it as she listened her expression remained featureless. The letter told her that a 'mysterious being called Malthael' had appeared at Sweet Apple Acres, asking for a job of all things. This was most likely a ploy, but she had to judge that for herself. Her usual smile returned as she rolled the letter up and placed it down on the dresser, taking out a blank parchment as she quickly wrote and sent a letter to her sister.

“Then I hope I do not disappoint.”

Author's Note

Sorry the chapters are so short, I'm not one of those people who can drum up over four thousand words in a single sitting, but hey, I might get there eventually. Also I was incredibly tired writing this, sorry 'bout that.

Oooh, who is this mysterious telephone being? What horrifying atrocities could Malthael have committed? Yea, I'm no good at hyping people up. Just place yer bets or whatever.

And someone list off a bunch of farming tools I can use for chapter names. Cheers.

P.S. This was supposed to be longer and have another Malthael section, but what was originally just meant to be a tiny bit at the beginning became almost a chapter long, so I lengthened it and am putting the other two-thirds of the chapter into the next one.

P.P.S. Sorry if this is boring.

P.P.P.S. Sorry for all the sorry's.

The Hoe

What's this? The chapter is written in.... first person?! Jimmy, play the dramatic sound effect!
Sorry sir, that's not in the budget.
Dammit, wait, we have a budget? Whatever. Enjoy the story chaps and chapettes.

"Is she going to be alright?" Apparently Big Mac, Applebloom and myself had been so engrossed in our game that we hadn't noticed as the orange one of the family had come back with her friend. Of course that hadn't stopped me from getting a quick peek at Mac's cards when he got up to help his sister out.

No answer huh? Maybe this new pony had fainted while standing up with her eyes open. I suppose it wouldn't have been polite to just sit there, so I got up and walked over to her. My wings twitched a bit as they grazed the ceiling and I leaned forward to poke the purple one's muzzle. "Hello? Is anyone in there?"

After scrunching her face up a bit and rubbing her muzzle she took a few moments to breathe calmly and compose herself. "Alright, you and I are going to have a talk upstairs..."

"Malthael, though you are free to call me what you wish." At least she had been polite. I gave Macintosh a nod as we passed him and his sister on our way upstairs, he was trying to drag her onto the couch but without hooves he wasn't getting very far. "Just a moment." I held a finger up to Twilight before carefully lifting Applejack and placing her onto the couch. She shivered with the contact but I suppose that was natural.

The orange ones siblings gave a quick 'Thanks' in unison that I brushed off before following the purple one upstairs. "Right, well I don't think AJ will mind us using her room for now. I'm sure Big Mac will take good care of her until we're done." She practically oozed skepticism, though that was to be expected. I merely nodded while following her in and having a seat.

It wasn't that I hated talking, I just disliked the sound of my voices. Naturally channeling the power of death through me had apparently brought with it the voices of those in the afterlife, meaning my true voice lay somewhere buried beneath them all. "I don't believe you've given me your name."

She seemed a bit taken aback, composing herself as she took a seat on the edge of the orange ones bed. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia and the Element of Magic. Now, onto questions." She'd adopted a slightly mischievous look but it didn't faze me too much.

"Rather proud of your titles, aren't you?" No one likes being reminded of their boasting, least of all this one. She looked a bit sheepish, wriggling on the bed and chuckling to herself.

"Sorry, after what my friends and I went through a few days ago with Discord I can't help but feel proud of us." Twilight smiled gently to me as I continued to stare at her. Does it still count as staring if you have no eyes? I suppose it should anyway.

"Very well, then I suppose you want to hear mine?" She nodded enthusiastically, levitating around a notepad and a quill. I gave a quick sigh before deciding I may as well, there was no point in hiding who I was, my appearance gave it away for the most part. "I am known as Malthael, former Archangel of Wisdom, Current Angel of Death, the Reaper of Souls and bringer of everlasting torment."

She hadn't been expecting that apparently. There was a distinct silence as her quill stopped moving along her notepad and she looked a bit more fearful. I just shook my head before continuing. "All of those titles are meaningless however, as I now wish to live a simple life. Away from the eyes of the world and with those I may learn to care for."

"Uhh. Well, okay then." She gingerly put the notepad away... somewhere, before continuing. "How do I know this isn't some trick so you can.. reap the soul of my friend?" She had gulped rather loudly and I deflated slightly as I reflected on my imprisonment, naught but the souls of the dead my company.

"I assume in the near future your mentor will either write you a letter, or be telling you of me herself. Whether or not she tells you my misdeeds is up to her. However, in all my time locked in stone the only ones I could freely communicate with were the dead. Including the ones I had killed with my own hands."

I looked down at my hands, the weight of my sickles becoming apparent on my back as I went on. "I remained silent for many years as they taunted and screamed at me in anger. Time drove me to answer them, and time compelled me to tell them of why I had ended their lives. At first they didn't care for my words, but time had calmed even them. It was time that had drawn us closer together, and the very barrier between us was responsible for my inability to get rid of them in the first place."

Twilight had listened eagerly as I went on, eyes widening at the possibility of an afterlife anchored to Equestria. The possibilities had been rather large. "Obviously, there were other souls. Those destined to die without my intervention. They shared their stories before moving on to who knows where. One day, about four years ago, a couple had come by. They told me of their lives and the family they had left behind."

She was apparently piecing it together while I simply sat motionless. "Those ponies... were they?"

I just sat there and kept on. "Their life had sounded so peaceful, surrounded by loved ones and doing what they loved. So I told them, 'Should I be freed, am I welcome to a life on your farm?'" Chuckling, I ignored the slight creak of the door. Without a head to speak of, I was unable to cry, but I wish that I could. "They were such nice ponies, few had ever truly spoken with me. And fewer still hadn't feared me. Yet they were so welcoming. The mare had looked me straight in the eye and said 'So long as you put in a hard days work and protect mah family, then you got yourself a deal mister.'"

I had spoken with that mares voice, though I couldn't really help it. It was apparently a natural thing for me, especially since I still had that couples image fresh in my mind, I had met many Apples before then, but these two had treated me like one of their own. Something I hadn't had since I first came to this world.

Twilight was a bit shocked as I talked in the mares voice, but she became more-so when she looked over my shoulder and saw her friend standing in the doorway, traces of wetness on her muzzle as she gave me a stern look. "Well, I can tell you're telling the truth." She walked up to me, a stern look in her eye as she looked into my hood. "Do ya promise to take care of the Apple family, and do an honest days work?"

I was slightly taken aback as she was being so straightforward. Still, I nodded and held a hand to where my heart would be if I still had a human body. "I promise."

She nodded and held out a hoof, a slight smile as she roughly shook my hand. "Then welcome to the Apple family Malthael. I don't think ah had the honor of introducin' mahself. The name's Applejack, but you can call me AJ."

"Wait wait wait!" Twilight barged in-between us, looking worriedly at AJ. "You're just going to let him become an honorary Apple just like that? You have no idea what he's capable of!"

Applejack just shook her head and calmly looked past her friend, and back up to me. "Ah don't care what he's done Twi, I just know that my parents have given him permission and ahm not willin' to go against 'em." She looked a bit teary-eyed as she said this as Twilight had a small panic attack before relenting.

"Fine, but you'll have to let me question him more." Twilight told to her friend sternly.

"That's just fine with me Twi, you can have him after he gets settled into work tomorrow. Fer now why don't we head downstairs and get somethin' to eat. All this panic's gotten me pretty hungry."

Twilight sighed before following her friend out of the room, myself a few steps behind them. "Well I guess I haven't had much to eat since Discord, just let me send a quick letter first."

AJ nodded while Twilight wrote her letter out as she walked downstairs, teleporting it somewhere and mumbling to herself in the time it took for us to get to the main room. That's when we noticed something odd. "Applejack, where are the other three?" Yup, somehow even Granny Smith had disappeared from her rocking chair and at once we all moved outside as we heard a loud noise coming from the barn next door.

Both Twilight and myself got a serious look from Applejack as she muttered her plan. "Alright, me and Twi will check it out, if we don't come back then you either go as well or get help. Got it?" I really should have protested the plan. It would take much more than a monster to hurt me, but in the spirit of trying to be trustworthy I simply obliged and waited as the two of them went in.

Seconds became minutes while I waited patiently, drawing pictures into the dirt and getting more worried as time went by. "Time is up." I kicked some dirt over my crude cat drawing before slowly opening the barn door, and suppressing a loud shriek as I the darkness lit up, my world instantly filling with color.

"SURPRISE!"

Author's Note

Oh god, that title.
Don't worry too much, it had to be used eventually.
I blame you Jimmy.
What? No, wait, sir please n-!
Goodbye Jimmy.

Right, another chapter done. This one also turned out too large so I had to spread my plans out even MORE. Honestly, the previous one, this one, and the next one were all meant to be one chapter. How does it end up like this?

Oh, and opinions plox, not sure how you guys felt about the sappy bits and sorry there isn't too much comedy in this one.

The Cultivator

Shocked? Of course I was. Did I express it well? Not really. My first reaction had been to move a hand behind me and grab onto the handle of one of my sickles and almost swung it at the pony directly in front of me, had recognition not kicked in. Many of them seemed shocked as well, though I guess that was thanks to both Twilight and Applejack who were currently among them all.

"...A party? On such short notice?" The bright pink one smiling right at me beamed once she saw I wasn't going to do anything drastic. Then her afterimage faded and I choked slightly as she wrapped a hoof around my neck and yanked it towards her, which was odd to say the least considering I don't breathe.

"Of course Mally! I make sure everypony feels welcomed to Ponyville as soon as possible. SO welcome to your 'Welcome to Ponyville' party!" She waved her hoof over the rest of the ponies in the barn and I noticed many, if not all of them, had welcoming smiles on their faces. I had no idea ponies could be this... kind-hearted.

Even as they all radiated positivity I could still feel many of them casting worried glances my way, only natural I suppose. I'd calmly wrenched myself out of the pink ones grip and rubbed at my shoulder gently. "That's alright with me, but how did you know my name?" She pointed a hoof at the two who'd come before me and it didn't take much to put the pieces together. "That is acceptable, and what is your name?"

"Oh of course! My name's Pinkie Pie! Though my friends and family usually just call me Pinkie, but if I'm doing something I shouldn't be it's more like Piiinkiiie which I think sounds really silly when you put it like that and it almost sounds like Pea-inky which isn't my name in the slightest, well except for the 'P' and the 'inky' but you get my point, right?"

She was a talkative one wasn't she? I'd gotten the feeling that she was the kind of pony you only talk to in small doses, else you might contemplate replicating Van Gogh's blue period.

"Hellooo, are you listening to me? How would you listen anyway when it doesn't look like you have ears? Is there a head under that hood or just more darkness? Maybe you're secretly the remnants of Nightmare Moon's powers come back to haunt Ponyville and gobble up all our snacks?!" She gasped loudly and while I could have waited for her to finish, I felt the need to introduce myself to the party go-ers before the music the white one was playing got too loud.

"Pinkie, would you like me to tell you a secret?" She'd been broken free of her rambling and shook her head eagerly as I leaned in close to her ear and whispered. "If you say 'zesty lemon cake' slow enough it sounds like gullible." If her now slack-jawed expression were anything to go by, this news had shattered her world. It wasn't long before she kept saying 'zesty lemon cake' over and over, getting slower each time while I just walked away.

Now, onto more ideal conversations. I ignored many of the shenanigans occurring around the barn as I turned my attention to where Applejack and Twilight had gathered with what I assumed were their friends. As I made my way over I couldn't help but notice as someone yelled "No Berry! Stop trying to drink Roseluck's mane! Who let you bring alcohol to a party when there are foals around anyway?!"

"I'd never -hic- do that Colgate, I just had a little after I put Ruby to -hic- bed s'all."

Rather odd, those two. Almost as odd as the yellow as I walked over, apparently noticing me and talking to the rest in a hurried manner before attempting to flee, only to be brought back as Applejack pulled on her tail. "Now you hold on just a minute Shy, don't you go sneakin' off just 'cause he looks scary. Just treat 'im like that Manticore you take care o' back in th' Everfree."

"Ooh, but, um, Miss Fluffykins is all soft and kind and he looks... Really scary...." She'd gotten quieter as I now stood behind Applejack, patiently listening to their conversation.

"Now don't you go givin' me that- oh howdy Malthael, didn't see ya there for a moment. Why don' ah introduce you to some of mah friends?" My mind blanked for a second as she treated me so familiarly, would that change if she knew what I could do? If she knew what I had done? Those were questions for another time though as I gave a slight nod and she proceeded to introduce each friend in turn.

"You already know Twilight here, though ahm not sure if she's told ya she works at the Ponyville public library." Twilight gave me a gentle smile and a nod while AJ continued, "The one cowerin' behind her mane is Fluttershy, she takes care o' the animals around Ponyville." Fluttershy gave a squeak and hid behind her mane further. "An' this one here is Rarity, she works at the Carousel Boutique makin' clothes for the fancy ponies."

"Humph, those 'fancy ponies' are the Canterlot upper class dear, and also my clients, so I'd appreciate if you wouldn't talk about them so... indiscriminately." A quick turn of the head from Rarity before she gave me a slight curtsy. "Pleasure to meet you darling, any friend of Twilights is a friend of mine."

She gave off a distinct impression of kindness and grace that is unexpected of one who acts so uptight. I slowly gave a gentle bow to the group before standing back up. "My name is Malthael, it is truly nice to meet you all." I suppose I would have been smiling if I had a face. I feel as if I should clarify, no I don't have a face, and no, there are no bones beneath my clothes.

Rarity gave an approving nod while Fluttershy initially flinched before smiling slightly. "So Malthael, why don't you tell the girls what brought you here anyway?" Twilight was a good tactician. If I told them why I was here it would easily clear up misunderstandings while also making me seem more friendly. Such a sneaky mare.

"Ooh, I wanna hear about it as well!" Pinkie chimed up from behind my shoulder as she clung onto it, her face a few inches beside my own. Other ponies had heard her outburst and slowly a group began to form around me, many expectant ponies chittering away only to be silenced as I cleared my non-existent throat and spoke.

"Many years ago I did something I truly regret. Because of this the two Alicorn sisters, aided by a being called The Ni-" Apparently my story wasn't to be as a blue pegasus burst through into the entrance-way and struck a slight pose. Once she noticed no one was really looking she looked to the group around me and forced her way into it, eyes closed in brash arrogance as she flew eye-level to me.

"Hey there new pony, the name's Rainbow Dash. And no sorry, I don't do autographs unless you ask really nicely." The arrogance and narcissism were almost comedic, as though she had been forcing herself. All this time I spent surrounded by the dead ones, yet it seems those alive told far better stories.

I chuckled slightly before giving her a slight bow as well, my voices ringing out as she peeked open her eyes. "It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Ms Dash. I won't need an autograph sorry, as I have nothing to write with." I held my hands up to show that, yep, they were empty. What a surprise.

She gaped at me for a while before looking to her friend. "...Twilight, explain?"

Twilight sighed and shook her head, peeking over her shoulder to somewhere on the other side of the barn. "His name is Malthael, he came here to work on AJ's farm and she's accepted him as an honorary member of the Apple family."

Dash still had trouble processing this as she slowly lowered herself to the ground. "Uhh, Twilight, explain a little bit more."

Twilight face-hooved and was about to go into further detail when she heard someone drunkenly yell out "Who punched the Spike?" and a loud crash reverberated through the barn. After which she resisted another face-hoof before rushing away.

"I'm going to go take care of Spike and get him to bed okay? You girls keep Malthael some company!" A quick flash of light signaled her disappearance as well as the incoming period of silence.

Everyone kind of ignored the slight groans of pain as one pony yelled "I can't believe you would pester Spike like that! Just because you wanted to look at his thumbs! You'll be lucky if Twilight doesn't press charges, and there'll be no snuggling for the rest of the week!"

We all also ignored the minute cry of "Noooooo." As a bright green pony was dragged outside by her tail.

I had decided to breach the silence as Fluttershy went over to help clean up the mess left behind after the drunken mini-brawl. "As I said, because of what I had done, the two Alicorn sisters, aided by a being called The Nigh-"

Once more the barn doors slammed open, abruptly ignoring my story telling, only this time it wasn't a blue pegasus. The many dumbstruck ponies round me gaped at the doors, a few of them bowing as I turned to see who it was. Lo and behold in strode Princess Celestia, wings flared open slightly as she calmly walked inside with a motherly smile on her face.

She said hello to many of those that she passed, but it was obvious she wasn't here to party if her sister standing by the doorway with an angry look on her face said anything. She even kept up the smile as she walked right up to me, using her wings to try and intimidate me slightly. It didn't work too well with her being a few heads shorter than me, so I merely flicked my wings open slightly, a few ponies gasping as they hadn't noticed them earlier.

Once she was close enough she leaned into my ear, her expression changing for a fraction of a second as her voice sounded harsh. "Outside, now." I guess I was destined to never tell that story to the Ponyvillians.

Author's Note

Oh god I'm so tired.You can tell how tired I am by how big the paragraphs are. The shorter they are the more likely I am to slam my head onto my keyboard.

Dang my characters sigh and sit there blankly a lot. They must be dumb.

The Contract

Reluctantly I stepped forward, following behind Celestia as she left the barn. Though I had to stop as something tugged on the back of my robes and I looked back to see Applejack had her hoof down on the back of them. "You best be lettin' me come as well, I won't have you goin' and gettin' yourself on Celestia's bad side."

She had a smug grin on her face as she walked past me, along with her friends close behind her. Dash had even added in "And we aren't letting you take this on alone either AJ." Their comradery was apparently lost on the princess as Celestia had stopped in her tracks while Luna momentarily hid her disgust for me as she held a hoof out in front of AJ and co.

"We are sorry Applejack Apple, this meeting between us and the mo- Malthael, must remain private." Luna was determined , I could tell that much. She was determined every time I had seen her at least. Yet the ponies who'd apparently become my guardians didn't falter. Even Fluttershy had a brave face on. I could tell though that they were just standing up for a friend, they most likely held no such care for me.

"She speaks the truth Applejack," I walked past the group, giving Applejack a quick pat on the head while I moved forward. "Don't worry, they couldn't harm me if they wanted to." That reassured her slightly and she fixed her stetson before looking between Luna and myself, tense few moments passing as she came to her own conclusion.

"Fine, we'll stay out of it, but at tha first sign o' trouble you princesses best watch out." Rarity had gasped loudly and began silently pleading to her friend while AJ continued on, oblivious to her. "An' you better tell me everythin' when ya' get back, alright?" She really was terribly straight-forward, maybe a peaceful life here is just what I needed to move on.

I gave her a nod and soon myself and the princesses were moving calmly down the road, Luna keeping a close eye on me from behind as the ponies looked on from the barn. I took the time to look over the farm as we passed by it, and to the sun still hanging low in the sky. "Isn't it almost time for you to put that down?"

Ha, I swear I almost heard a growl coming from behind me as I muttered that, Celestia still moving forward only slightly more tense. "Just here will be fine." She sounded calm at least, I'll give her that much. Quietly, I stood where I was as Luna circled me before standing next to her sister, both staring at me with enough hate to set the sky alight.

"We will only ask you this once, Monster, what do you hope to accomplish by coming here? Did you think we would just forgive you for your crimes against Equestria? Neigh, against the entirety of Equis?" Luna obviously wasn't one for small talk, so I decided to just ignore her for now while I focused on her sister.

"Do you really want to know? As far as I can tell, neither of you care. So who is holding you back I wonder?" They knew I was mocking them, yet Celestia still had to hold out a hoof to calm her sister. It hadn't taken me long to figure it out really, if given even the slightest chance these two would come at me with their lives on the line.

Tia ground her teeth a few moments before sighing and lowering her head. She was thinking, I could tell that much, and her sister could as well. Luna went so far as to forget her hate for me momentarily and cast a caring glance at her sister. We all just stood in silence before Celestia made her decision. "You have our permission to work here Malthael."

"But sister he-!"

"Enough Luna! Allow me to finish." Luna folded her ears back and took a step back. Even she was no match for Celestia's own Royal Canterlot Voice. "Malthael," she practically spat the name, "while we will allow you to work here, we will never forgive you for what you did. As such I hereby decree, as Princess of Equestria, that whoever puts you down will be granted any wish my sister and I are capable of granting."

Hmm, I wasn't expecting that at all. Still, "Celestia. I understand your decision, but know this," I raised a hand toward the sun as it dangled on the horizon, feeling as it's very power connected to Celestia herself. "Should any harm come to the Apple family, then I will not hesitate to exterminate every single life force on this planet."

A few of the trees around us began to wither as the grass shriveled up. The sun dimmed significantly while Celestia barely stopped herself from falling onto her face, Luna supporting her carefully while trying to glare at me. "Mark my words both of you, if you take any steps against them or their friends then I will kill you both and force you to watch helplessly from the afterlife as I slaughter your subjects. One. By. One." I closed my open palm and the sun seemed to blink out of existence as the world was temporarily overcome with darkness.

Not even half of a second passed before it blossomed into view once more, the trees regaining their life as the sun lit up the world. I just stood there calmly, hiding as my knees tried to buckle. I may have put too much effort into that little show, but I needed them to take me seriously. I even went so far as to using some of Celestia's own life force. Speaking of which...

"That is fine with me." Celestia now stood proudly next to her sister, but I could see her legs shaking. She didn't even bother to wipe away the blood seeping out of her mouth and dripping down her muzzle. "Should the Apple family or friends of come into harm upon trying to fulfill the bounty, the reward will be rendered null and void."

She was good, even after all that she kept up a diplomatic tone. She was practically sentencing me as the fox for the hunt and treating it like implementing a new policy on littering. Before we could continue with our decidedly hostile negotiations though, we were interrupted by the woman from the glass painting.

Her very being seemed to emanate power, and it seemed that she couldn't be touched. A slight, jingling laugh came from her. “It seems Celestia followed my advice. You’re lucky this is the universe where the Prime ended up. Should’ve seen what I did in an Alt world.”

I had used a bit of my remaining power just teleporting a few feet away from her. I remembered what she’d done last time, and I would not give her another chance. “Alternate worlds? So that’s what this is.” I’d spoken calmly but it’d taken a bit of adjusting, after all I had my suspicions...

Celestia seemed delighted on the other hand, it almost felt like she hated me less the more she liked her. “Nightingale! So you came after all?” Even Luna was a bit happier, though if memory serves she was mostly unconscious when I was… locked away.

“First off. Maltheal? Backing up won’t help. Second, yes, its a parallel world. Thirdly, Celestia and Luna, you look awful. Just let me,” she let out a quick, three note hum and the Princesses notably improved. “There. Now, didn't I say I’d come no matter what?”

“I wasn’t aware I was that important.” Sarcastic and a bit simplistic? Yes, but Luna’s quick outburst of anger was worth it for the most part. For the rest of it, I’ll just settle for Celestia’s quiet glare.

“Thou shalt remain silent!” And with a stomp of her hoof a few apples had fallen from the trees around us. Maybe Applejack could get some penance from the throne?

“Now, as I said, I must inform Maltheal of a few things. Here,” she let out yet another musical tune, and a portal opened up. “Follow me, it’ll be more comfortable in here.”

Well, that wasn't very promising. I don’t really have much of a choice in this situation do I? Either stay here and most likely be turned to stone, or follow her into what is most likely a trap. Joy. “As you wish.” I subconsciously felt for the pressure of my sickles against me while I walked through the odd portal, a peaceful life was a bit much to ask for wasn't it?

“Take a seat. Want something to drink? Anything. Literally, anything,” she said, sitting down in a rather comfortable looking chair.

Calmly, I took a seat across from her, pointing directly into my hood as I spoke. “I have no mouth, what could I possibly drink?”

Her face went flat, “I’m a being over a thousand times more powerful and older than all but one thing in the Multiverse, and you didn’t think I had thought of that? Right now, you have a human body again. Only in here though.”

Slowly, cautiously, my hand moved further into my hood until it came into contact with my face. It wasn’t very mature of me, but I immediately began feeling it all over, trying to memorize every minute detail I could. I went so far as to pull off my gloves and turn my hands over as I looked on them. “...To be fair, you never told me your history. You only asked me nicely to stop then imprisoned me when I said ‘no’.”

“Fair enough, but I had to ask didn't I? As for your human body, I can give you something that will allow you to switch between the two,” she said, her hands were standing palm up in front of her.

I took a few moments to think over it before pulling my hands away from my face and pulling the gloves back on. “No thank you, that part of me is long gone at this point. I’d… much rather forget.”

“Alright. Just trying to be nice. So, as you know, some creepy old dude sold you some part of a costume,” I nodded, “This old dude is my rival, The Merchant. As you know me, I am the Nightingale but, I have three names I use more often,” she changed, her wings disappeared and suddenly she had a cat tail and ears, as well as her hair color and eye color changing, “My proper name is Essence but I am often called The Musician or Madness, as these are the two things no one can contest me on,” her form switched back to the one from before, “But I’ll keep this form for now. Merchant, by sending you here, has turned you into a Displaced, a human with new amazing powers placed in Equestria.”

As she spoke I moved my arms behind myself, reaching under my clothes and pulling out my twin sickles. I looked them both over before placing them onto a table that had appeared in between us. “It is as you say, though this… Merchant, did not give me one thing.” I knew it hadn’t taken her long to figure out, she probably already knew as I reached into my clothes once more.

“He gave you the sickles?” she asked.

“Yes. He gave me my weapons of murder, along with another.” I felt incredibly anxious as I pulled it out, my hand gripping it tightly as I treated it with utmost care before letting the black soul-stone rest on the table. “A one use, get out of trouble free card. One that would change me forever.” Even from this distance I could feel the evil emanating from it.

“I see. Back to the matter at hand, or matters. First off, the Princesses want you to pay for your actions so, I’m assigning you, as a sort of Displaced police, community service. You now have to help out the Displaced that need it. Which leads me to the final thing. I need to inform you of some Displaced.”

She went on to tell me of some of the other Displaced that had apparently graced the multiverse with their existence. One with great strength bearing the name of a warrior king, one with an almost unmatched talent for battle tactics and magical prowess, another with control over gravity who seeks to make penance for her actions, much like myself. She even told me of a monster that couldn't be killed without dissecting it into subatomic particles. Make that monsters.

“Finally, there are a few that I've created. These will be notable because they carry tomes about the Displaced or a seal of a trident backed by dual swords,” she said, handing what seemed to be both to me. “The tome will copy itself if you ask. I suggest you give one to each Displaced you meet. With that, we can return.”

“Return?..” The words hit me like a freight train with hyperspace engines attached to the sides. That was my entire goal in the beginning, and now the way home was just sitting in my palms. Only, it was a few thousand years too late. “...How do you propose I help out the… others?”

“However you can. Now, while waiting you can do whatever you wish. The Apples will be happy to see that you can stay. I also must inform the Princesses of my real name, and their lack of awesomeness when speaking of legends,” she grinned.

With a slow nod and quick hands, I drew my things back into my robes, including the new tome I had been given. I had never really figured out how these robes worked, only that they could hold as much as I could carry and I would always know what they held.

“If it isn't too much to ask,” I stood up calmly, for such a powerful deity she really wasn't that impressive height-wise. Probably because I was about ten feet tall, but that’s not my point. “Can I have a look at myself before I leave?”

“Sure. Bathroom’s down the hall, third door on the right.”

Easy enough. I made my way down the hall, but I couldn't help but notice the doors seemed to grow larger as I passed each one until I finally came to the bathroom. Opening it, I decided it really wasn't worth the effort of climbing up onto the sink to see my own reflection.

“Maybe in another thousand years…” With a sigh I walked back, maybe she was taller than she let on?

Suddenly, she poked her head in, “Over there,” she pointed to a smaller door inside, and she vanished.

“....Oh.” This was pretty quickly becoming too ridiculous for my tastes. Once I went inside and looked into the mirror I lost whatever contempt was bubbling inside me. I stared into my own, common brown eyes for the first time in a thousand years. I remembered everything I had done, all the lives I had ended for my own needs, as well as my failure in the end, how I couldn't help her.

I would have cried, if I could remember how to.

What felt like an hour or two must have passed before I returned back to the room I first came into. I had what I found was my usual calm expression back on as I saw The Nigh- no, Essence, once more. “That will be all, thank you.”

She stood up, and to my surprise, embraced me in a hug. “I know. I know what it feels like to mourn for something for a long time. If you ever need to cry, or need comfort, I’m available. After all, Merchant may have caused this but, all the Displaced, they call up my maternal instincts.”

I stood there and eventually lazily returned the hug with just one arm, looking beyond her and into the portal back while my thoughts settled. The past would stay just that, and no matter how I tried there wasn't much I could do about it besides try to atone. Still, I had important things to do, like get back to the party. Thus, rather awkwardly, I broke off the hug and gave her another silent thanks before turning to the portal, my faithful frown back in place before I realized it had changed. “Tell me, Essence. The others, how do they make contact without the tomes?”

“Oh. The tomes are just telling you who’s who and what’s whose. You call up what you feel you stand for and pick a symbol for yourself. Speak your mind and the Multiverse does the rest. Anyways. I’ll follow you and speak to Celestia and Luna before I leave. As well as Discord. Despite me being his mother he has big tendencies to ignore me.”

Well… that was a shock. How would she even…? Never mind, I didn't need that kind of mental image. “One last thing then, and I promise this time. About that drink…”

To my surprise Applejack's friends had stayed behind after the party which I had missed for the most part. They just waited patiently, talking among themselves until I had come into view, at which point Applejack had run up to me and questioned me on everything. I told her as much as I felt like giving up, leaving out what happened with Essence as well as the tome I now had.

Almost as one her friends left for home, waving their goodbyes as the first of the moons rays hit the far end of the orchard. Applejack, after repeatedly lecturing me to call her AJ, eventually went back inside the house with myself close behind. I'd remembered to duck a bit under the front entrance as last time I accidentally knocked myself on the ground to Applebloom's amusement.

The filly herself and Big Mac had apparently gone to bed early that night, both having to get up early for their daily routines. Apparently they hadn't expected a guest, yet they still had more than a few guest rooms prepared. AJ had told me that they would often have family and friends over unexpectedly to the point it became expected.

I told her more than once that I didn't actually need sleep so a room would be a waste, yet she insisted. She then went on to tell me to be prepared to get up early so I could get to learning what I was supposed to do. And now here I sat on the edge of a comfortable bed, looking out at the orchard I was now a caretaker of... I hoped. Applejack hadn't really clarified on what work I would be doing, did she?

Just what I needed, the worries of tomorrow kindled with the worries of anothers tomorrow. Oh, I almost forgot about that. Essence had told me that I needed to focus on 'what I stood for and the Multiverse would do the rest', but I could hardly put my faith into a non-sentient entity. It was non-sentient right?

With that new train of thought, I took out the drink I had gotten from essence. Even though I now only borrowed the power of the dead from this universe out of respect, it didn't mean I had respect for the souls of a dead universe. So I held the bottle up, watching as the millions of evil souls rested within and even shaking it a little before using my thumb to pop off the cork and pour it into my hood.

Unconsciously, my wings flared out as I sunk my fingers into the beds frame. It didn't take me long to 'drink' the whole thing and soon I had an idea of what I wanted, albeit a rather silly one. With a snap of my fingers a dull sound rang out through the room and a black cube of smoke appeared in my open palm. I concentrated on it and slowly the smoke chipped away, piece by piece.

Before long I found myself holding a small badge, an extremely simplistic skull on the front with two sickles behind it and two small wings. With a bit more focus the first three letters of my name engraved themselves onto the front of the badge, just above the skull. When I pushed the skull in I found it slightly amusing as an 8-bit version of 'Spooky Scary Skeletons' began to play and the empty eyes filled with smoke.

"This will have to do I suppose." Once the music had stopped playing I held another hand open in front of me, much of the drinks power coursing through me as I felt at the fabric of the universe and forcefully tore open a small hole. I quickly uttered the words, "I am Malthael, Angel of Death and Reaper of Souls. If you wish for my aid, simply press the skull." Then I threw in the badge and made sure to close the hole just in time as I could've sworn there was something out there in that void.

I sighed heavily and sunk into my new bed, deciding to just lose myself in my thoughts since I couldn't sleep. I'd barely even gotten started when a black book had fallen onto my head before landing beside me. It had taken me a few moments to register the slight pain, but eventually I reached down and picked up the book, glancing over the purple eye as words seemed to echo in my mind.

“I am the Tactician Robin, wielder of the Levin blade and master of the Arcane! I am the greatest strategist the world has ever known, able to lead those to victory despite all odds! Should you have need of my knowledge, write within this book your plight and I shall know of it! Should your cause be worthy, you will have my help!”

....Well alright then I suppose. I just stood up, walked over and placed the book on a large shelf. What possible use could I have for a tactician? And even then, I was by no means a researcher of magic. As far as I could tell, this book was pointless to me.

"Yes sir, we've found him. A small town called Ponyville, on the border of Equestria. You were right, again." The mysterious figure rolled it's eyes as its horn slowly lost its glow.

"So what does he suggest we do?" A much larger figure looked down at the unicorn, both figures having their heads hidden from the moons light by their hoods except for the larger ones beak and the smaller's horn.

"We'll leave him be for now, but once the order is given, he better be ready." The larger figure nodded and licked its beak before spreading its wings.

"I'll just go get a quick snack, then I'll race you back home."

"You're on, bird brain." At once the two figures seemed to dissipate, leaving a the hill barren once more as the grass swayed in a slight breeze.

Author's Note

Right, so if you couldn't guess, The Nightingale is actually Midnight Hood's character Essence from The Songs Of True Madness and its apparent sequel.

For those of you who didn't read the blog post (I'm going to assume most of you), I'm going to be changing how I approach this story slightly. The chapters will take longer to come out but will not be split up no matter how large they end up. (Unless they somehow end up super big)

Other than that, what do you guys think of the token picture? Put a whole twenty minutes of photoshop into that so y'all better appreciate it. If you don't mind, that is... :fluttershysad:

Oh right, so yea, token is now up and Mally is free for crossovers. Though, please note I will try and make sure they don't take up too much of the story as people tend to get annoyed if they have to read about ten stories to make sense of one.

That's about it for now, peace.

Starting Out

My first day at work started out... rough.

"Look if ya can't even handle this much then how am ah supposed ta trust ya to take care of mah apple trees?" scolded Applejack as she frowned up at me. I guess trust really isn't as easy to garner as I thought it was, and maybe I was a little too eager about getting apples. I just sighed as I looked over at the swine currently playing in the mud without a care in the world.

"Why do you even keep these? I was certain ponies were herbivores and I see no other reason to breed these animals." She gave me a quick 'stop asking questions and just do your job' look before heading off to do her chores for the day. "...What on Equis could she have to hide?" I knelt down towards the pig pen, leaning on the fence while they backed away from me.

'Note to self, today's tasks are, in order of priority; Feed the capitalist scum, clean up their defecation, wet some of the dirt for them to clean off in, proceed to kitchen for Granny Smith's newest culinary creation. I guess when you say it out loud it sounds a lot simpler, and hey, I'm already wearing boots.' There was no point in getting my cloak dirty however.

Calmly, I folded my wings in further as I took off my cloak, my armor seeming to both shine and absorb the sun's rays as I hung up the old thing. Why I never took the old thing off was a mystery to me, it either being for sentimental value or its inability to slow me down I have no clue. Ugh, as much as I'd love to put this off I have little to no choice in the matter.

I didn't bother opening the gate as I simply stepped over the fence with the pigswill in one hand, the pigs and the few piglets backing away while I walked up to their feeding trough. I couldn't help but wonder if I was doing this right as the pigs stayed at their end of the large pen while I filled the trough, surely this wasn't very efficient. "Ya haven't got much experience at this, have ya?" chimed up a small voice back at the pens gate.

Turning around I spotted Apple Bloom, leaning over the gate with an inquisitive look on her muzzle. "Admittedly I do not, and judging by your tone, I have failed somehow." I stood up straight after finally emptying the bucket and joining Bloom by the gate.

She sighed and shook her head while she gestured for me to get back over the fence, to which I complied. "What yer supposed ta do is lean over the fence on tha other side and fill it, 'specially if yer a newcomer, else yer gonna scare all the piggies away." As if to demonstrate, the animals in question took their sweet time cautiously approaching the food on display before digging in. "Now that they're eatin' ya should be able to clean up tha pen without 'em botherin' ya too much."

Watching as they ate I almost got caught up in my own food situation, having now realized I was supposed to taste test Granny Smith's food without having tastebuds. Or a tongue. Or anything necessary to eat with. Bloom knocked me out of my thoughts by leaning up on the fence to roughly pat my lower back. She quickly retracted her hoof in pain, blowing on it gently. "Are you alright Apple Bloom?"

She gave me a sarcastic look as she blew on her hoof and tested it on the ground. "Ah'll be fine, why're ya wearin' somethin' so hard anyways? I was pretty sure ya were wearin' somethin' much softer yesterday. Ow."

I stepped over the fence and began to shovel up the pig feces as I pondered how best to answer her question. "Do you have bottles in Equestria?" She gave me an odd look and nodded. "While I assume they aren't like the bottles from my... old domicile, I can take a guess that they serve the same purpose. Now, imagine that you filled the bottle with water and then sealed it off completely-"

"Wouldn't it just become useless then?"

"No cutting me off Bloom." She hung her ears while I continued to shovel. "Simply put, this armor acts as my bottle, of course there are other things keeping this armor held together, but without it I'm about as powerful as a lake. Sure I have other methods of interacting with the world, but this armor keeps me all together. You can think of the cloak as a sort of cover for the bottle, something to soften the blow in case you drop it."

Her head had been perched on her hoof as she listened, eagerly listening in on every detail. Truly she had reminded me of-... Really her desire for knowledge was admirable. "So yer made of water?" Maybe not as admirable as I would have liked. I'd placed the shovel away and begun wetting some of the dirt for the pigs, who had begun to treat me with a little less caution thanks to my action.

"Why don't you head back to the main house, I'm sure Granny Smith could use some help with breakfast."

Apple Bloom groaned and gave a reluctant "Fiiiiiine," before stomping off in some kind of display of rebellion. How I loathe to understand the youth, yet am somehow attracted to uncovering their mystery. Like a milk puzzle without corners and an infinite amount of pieces, though maybe that would get dull after a time.

One brave little piglet had stepped closer to me while I was once more lost to my thoughts, so much time as a statue really has dulled my senses concerning the living world. I looked down at the clearly frightened thing, wondering what it hoped to accomplish as it drew closer and gave a cute little oink at me. The urge to pet the adorable, if filthy creature, welled up within me and soon I was kneeling down in the mud, slowly reaching a hand toward it.

A single pig to the side lowered its head towards me, probably the mother of the little piglet trying to ward me off in some manner, so rather than pet the piglet myself I turned my palm up and let the tiny thing move to my open hand. I'm sure the gauntlet was cold, yet it did not seem to mind as it sniffed at my fingertips before rubbing its cheek cautiously against them. Pretty soon I was scratching the piglet under its chin, and soon after that I had grown carried away in my fondness of this new-found interaction. Before I knew it I was sitting in the mud with the creature in my lap as a few others had grown courageous thanks to the young one's actions and were now sitting around me, occasionally getting their own pets.

I had not pictured today starting out this way.

Three hours, two minutes, seventeen seconds. I can't help but think he is almost suited to that kind of work were he not being so obviously forced. Still, it wasn't up to me to make a move. "GG, are we done yet?" my partner groaned, not so subtly. No idea why the head would force this bird brain on me.

"We are to observe his reactions for another one hour, fifty-seven minutes and fifteen seconds. If you can not hold on for such a short amount of time then I'd recommend you hand in a formal complaint and get reassigned elsewhere." His incompetence could be ignored, but I would not have his brashness jeapordize such a mission. Why the head would force me to partner up with this bird-brain I had no idea.

"Hey, I'm just as unhappy as you are! Don't forget the only reason you're even here in the first place is because R-" He stopped himself there, sadness flitting over his beak for a moment before he glared at me again. So that's why he was angry at me specifically, I'd replaced his friend, maybe I should cheer him up?

"The only reason I'm here is because you left him on his own. You both willingly broke formation and now he's in one of the inner sanctums with critical injuries because you were too slo-gurk!" He wrapped a talon tightly around my throat and beyond the initial gag I gave no response. "Are you going to lose another partner, former Vice Captain?"

I'd let a smirk go by at that one, as best I could do without lips anyway. He responded by sneering and rudely throwing me to the ground. "You'd best learn to keep your mouth shut Lieutenant, we both know you wouldn't be able to beat me one on one." He kicked at the dust slightly before spreading out his wings, sunlight avoiding them quite smoothly. "I'm going to grab a bite to eat, inform me should anything happen.'

And he simply flew off, leaving me to return to my post. As much as I'd hate to admit it, that idiot had a point. No matter, once our True leader returned then I'd show that moron what I can do. First I'll just continue my mission, then I will save him and get what I deserve.

"For a farm in charge of roughly forty percent of Equestria's apple industry, you have surprisingly few apple-related jobs." The entirety of the day so far had been menial tasks, take care of the pigs, fix up some of the fences, clean up the main barn. Applejack wasn't too sympathetic however.

"Contrary to what mah-urgh, parents might've told you-hrrgh, we've expanded quite a bit since they... kicked the bucket." She seemed saddened for a moment, in between hoisting barrels of apples onto a wagon, which I had decided to help with, making sure not to jostle my shoulder too much for fear of the creature currently riding upon it.

"If ya wanna help with th' apple trees then ah gotta make sure ya know how ta do some of the other jobs 'round here as well, no matter how annoyin' they might be. An' look, stop stackin' barrels for a sec. Thankya. Ah really gotta ask, why're ya carryin' that runt around with ya like some kind of parrot?"She was of course referring to my shoulders newest resident, the piglet who had first approached me back at the pens.

He had successfully snuck out through the fence a few times in order to follow me, and after a while I had simply begun carrying him around. Okay, I may have given in to its appearance rather quickly, but I saw no harm in it. "I am sure I will be able to catch him should he fall, and this is the easiest method of making sure he can keep up with me so he does not get lost."

She looked at me oddly for a few seconds before shaking her head and harnessing herself to the wagon. "Ah'm not gonna interrupt yer little bondin' session then. Jus' make sure he doesn't get too hurt alright?" Just as she was about to leave she stopped and I imagine if I had a nervous system I would have shivered. She slowly turned to me and I could've sworn she hid a smirk behind that smile. "How 'bout this then, you go help Bloom pack up th' stall in town and ah'll let ya name him."

Before I even had time to move she'd held up a hoof to stop me. "An' if ya do a good job takin' care of the farm without goin' near the apple trees, then ya can keep him. Sound fair?" I looked to my companion for a few moments. He gave a small 'oink' before I turned back to AJ and nodded. "Good, now get along you two, Bloom isn't goin' ta be able to carry back all o' the parts herself."

At that moment I truly began to understand why this rural town had no other farms besides Sweet Apple Acres.

"So she said that kinda thing huh?" Bloom had managed to get most of the stall packed up before I'd gotten there, though she left me to pack it all onto the cart. "Though what ah really gotta ask is why yer so intent on keepin' oinky there?"

I'd looked at her a few moments, hoping she understood my unspoken message before turning back to the sign. "Truthfully I have no clue why I am compelled to keep such a creature, but I see no issue in such a goal, a hobby would not injure me." Some of these parts did not make too much sense to me, as far as it showed the stall was unceremoniously built and taken apart each day it was needed. Maybe I could improve on the design? "And no, I will not be naming him 'oinky'."

She was a bit crestfallen at this, harnessing herself to the cart in a fashion similar to her sister, though on a smaller scale. "Well, it was worth a try. And no, ah don't really think there's any harm in keepin' a pet. Ah guess ah'm just a little worried that you don't really... know, how ta care fer somethin' that... y'know?"

"Alive?"

"Heheh, yeah." She turned away and kicked at the dirt for a few moments before starting on the path back to the farm. "Y'all know ah didn't mean ta offend ya right?" I kept walking beside her for a few seconds, letting her stew in her own worry before chuckling and shaking my head, patting the piglet on my shoulder gently. She let out a sigh before focusing back on the road, trying to hide a gasp as two fillies around her age stepped out in front of us.

The two of them had looked rather smug at first, one wearing her hair in a rather poorly executed braid while the other had the gall to wear a small crown. Eventually their eyes wandered to me as both Apple Bloom and I were forced to stop in front of them. A quick glance to Bloom had pretty quickly assured me that these two were not very friendly towards her, so I decided to stop focusing on my voice for a moment, letting it distort into the cacophony of voices I had grown used to once upon a time. I never understood some of the languages they spoke in.

"C̭͓̰̬͕̤a͜n̘̻ ͏͕w҉̖̜͔e̗̦̰͈͕̻͞ ̡̰̙̩̤̫̤̻h̵e̩̟͚̜l͉̺̥̯̪ͅp҉͓̜̲̗ ̷͉͖̜̜y͏o̵̞̟̪͙̱͈͔u̷̞͍̭͕ ͕͖͡g̺͍̮͉i̺̤̪̗̤r͚̭͈̲̗l̠̗͎̤s͓̗̱̘̭?̝͈͔͔̫͟ͅ" They both responded with a quick 'eep' before darting off elsewhere in a cartoonish puff of cloud.

Apple Bloom giggled at that before we both set out on the path again, her mood obviously a bit lighter as she spoke. "Thanks, Mal. Ah'm... not really too good at dealin' with those two."

I shook my head and focused on the path. There had been bullies ever since I first came to this colorful world, I'd just not anticipated how young they started out. "Do not worry, Apple Bloom. As far as I remember family looks after each other." She'd sent a smile my way as I said that. "And if you would like to talk about it, do not think I will hesitate to listen."

She'd become saddened by that for some reason, suiting the atmosphere as the sun began to set. Did she not want help? The rest of the walk was shrouded in silence, the only thing of note being a slight shimmer some couple of hundred yards away as the sun finally set. Perhaps there are even stargazers nowadays?

The notice had gone up throughout Equestria and to some of the lands beyond. City ponies stopped in their midday rush to gaze at the large poster plastered onto some of the buildings, detailing the bounty of the hooded figure pictured on it, a bounty that almost motivated some of the most careful of bounty hunters. It was also a reward that frightened them all, such a number was only ever dreamed about by some of the nobles in Canterlot after all.

Young ponies however, jumped on the chance, packing their bags and buying the first tickets for the earliest train to Ponyville. Though some cursed with no bits to their name had grouped together in order to make the trek, including a disgruntled gryphon and a smug unicorn magician.

Somehow, Trixie had convinced a ragtag group of hoodlums to help her get the reward, though she knew she would end up using them as fodder so she could grab the reward herself. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is truly a master tactician!"

"A master tactician with a habit of speaking her plans out loud." Gilda punched one talon into the other as she glared at the mare, some of her companions glaring from the back cart and making similar motions.

"Hehehehe... oops."

The day was uneventful and I could not be happier for it. Although my hopes of seeing the apple trees will have to be put off, I probably could not have wanted the day to turn out any differently. The piglet, as I had come to call it, had nestled itself in a small bed I made out of hay and one of Applejack's old hat boxes. Sleep, something that was still out of reach for me, though it did give me time for other things.

The book I'd resolved to write in yesterday now sat open on the lone desk in the room, a pen resting in my hand as I struggled to put words to paper. Once I'd begun however, the words simply flowed out.

"Good day to you, if your days still exist. The other day your book had come into my possession and only now have I worked up the courage to write in it. I'm afraid such correspondence is something I have not needed for a millennium, though I hope it does continue."

"If you wish for a name, know that I only go by my alibi nowadays, Malthael, the angel of death. If you continue to read this then I will assume my self-imposed title does not frighten you, and for that you have my thanks. I hope to work towards changing it, but for now it serves its purpose."

"Titles are things which hold meaning after all, and I shall keep this one until I believe I have truly atoned for my sins. Alas, I should not allow my first message towards a hopeful conversation remain dark and gloomy, let me see." I looked around the room, hoping for some kind of inspiration before resting my eyes upon something that truly piqued my interest.

"Tell me, what do you think of companions? I have recently made a few I hope to call friends some time in the future, yet one seems to hold much greater interest for me. His appearance was rather surprising but not unwelcome and his attempts at affection will sometimes confuse me. Yet I feel like I've made a good choice in keeping him around, why is that? Am I trying to find another method of atoning or have I simply become infatuated with the idea of having him follow me everywhere?"

"I shall wrap up my message for now, as I do not wish to waste your time. Though I have one last question, can you recommend a good name for a pig?"

Author's Note

Screw the old chapter naming scheme, it was tedious and annoying. Also, yay I'm not dead, just horribly busy and horribly lazy. Quite a frightening combination. Those, and I'm working on another story while considering bringing something back.

So yea, sorry for the wait, I hope this wasn't too bad. Oh, and I found myself able to do longer chapters recently, yay.

Edit: Doubly sorry about the wait, due to various issues I had to type half of this out on my ipod using a shitty bluetooth keyboard, though that's not really a good excuse so I hope y'all can come to forgive me.

Oh and one last thing. You, yes YOU, the readers of this story, shall have the glory of taking part in it! Ugh I need to leave that schtick to the other guys. Anyway, i suck at naming things, so all of you can have some input into naming the piglet. That may not sound like much, but think of the piglet as a young King Arthur, slaving away at pons and pans as crowds gather around a dagger in a rock. His time will come, will you help him on his journey?