“Well, it seems you lose, Celestia,” Discord said with a chuckle as he gazed down at the solar alicorn, a wicked smirk on his face. Around his throne were the former Elements of Harmony, now his Elements of Chaos.
“I wouldn’t say that, Discord. My sister and I still stand, we will not yield to you,” she said defiantly. She ignited her horn and fired off a spell, only for it to be reflected right back at her.
“You are such a feisty one, Celestia,” Discord said, getting off of his throne, “I want you to watch this, my dear little ponies,” he said to the six rather mockingly, “I’m going to wipe harmony from this world, starting with you, Princess.”
“You may try, Discord,” she snorted, taking to the sky. She summoned as much magic as she could, firing it at Discord, who countered it with his own.
“This is rather boring, Tia,” Discord said with a yawn, easily matching her blast.
“Then allow me to spice it up for you!” Luna shouted as she appeared behind Discord, firing her own beam at the lord of chaos. The three beams crossed, their energy collecting before blasting outwards, knocking away the Elements and the two sisters.
Discord coughed up a small puff of smoke, dusting himself off. “Well that was pointless of you, wasting your energy all at once.”
“That was the point, Discord,” Celestia said with a laugh, getting to her hooves rather shakily.
“You planned to lose? How stupid of you,” Discord said with a laugh, “Have I finally broken you?”
“The plan was to release as much energy as possible. The three of us managed to release enough for his reawakening, unluckily for you,” Luna said with a smirk as she clambered to her hooves. Her horn shone for a moment, revealing a large walnut-shaped object with an equally large stylized ‘M’ on the front.
“You can’t be serious!” Discord shouted, glaring at them. “That wad of gum is your trump card?”
“I seem to recall him making you pause, Discord,” Celestia said with a smirk as the object glowed briefly before cracking open, spewing out some pink smoke. Once it cleared, a pink blob was revealed which slowly began to move. That is before a tear in reality appeared above and a strange creature fell out, landing on it. Everyone just looked at this newcomer in shock as he stood up on two legs and brushed himself off.
“Quick question,” the man said to the princesses, his spanish accent clear. “Do you two know me?” The princesses only shook their heads in response. “Maldita Sea! Well I guess that answers that question. Golden Tiger Claws!” Before anyone could say a thing, the man cut open a hole in the air with the set of golden claws attached to his hand. He jumped through and it vanished a second later, leaving everyone confused.
“Ugh...” the pink blob muttered, starting to take shape. It became a tall pink biped, a head taller than Celestia. It had baggy white pants with a yellow belt buckle emblazoned with the same stylized ‘M’. Its arms, chest and head were lined with holes, strange squarish structures where its ears might be. To cap off the strange look, it had a short antenna-like projection on its head. It took a moment to stretch, letting out a yawn. “Well... nice to finally be awake.” it spoke in a masculine voice.
“Thank Faust you're awake Buu,” Celestia said, moving over to him. She embraced him with her wings, which he returned with his arms.
“Ah, Discord, what a surprise,” Buu said, pulling away from Celestia to glare at the lord of chaos. “I should have figured this wasn’t just a friendly wake up call.”
“Sorry Buu,” Luna sighed. “We had no other recourse, he corrupted the current Element bearers.”
“I get it, no biggie,” he said moving closer to Discord, causing him to back up.
“I’m not scared of you, gum boy!” Discord snarled, getting into a stance.
“Good, means you’ll actually put up a fight,” Buu said, getting into his own stance. He smirked at Discord, causing the Chaos lord to flinch ever so slightly.
“We just need you to buy us enough time to restore the Elements,” Celestia said, pointing to the group of grey ponies.
“Consider it done,” Buu said, locking eyes with Discord. The two stared at each other for a moment before Buu vanished, reappearing in front of Discord. He immediately started to pepper the being’s face with blows before kicking him into a building. Buu put his hands together, making a diamond shape. “Tri-beam!” he cried, firing a pink beam of energy from his hands into the building, causing it to explode.
“Buu, please try not to blow up the town,” Luna called, deflecting some debris with a shield.
“Sorry, got carried away-” he started before Discord ripped him in half with a snarl.
“You stupid creature! Why! Won’t! You! Just! Die!?” Discord demanded, his eyes narrowed with fury, his voice trembling with barely contained rage.
“Because you suck,” Buu replied. His torso was propped against a building, while his legs were in a fountain a few yards away. Both halves melted into goo, jumping towards each other. They collided in mid-air, reforming into Majin Buu before they hit the ground. “Come on, you can do better than that.”
“Die! Die! Die!” Discord screamed, throwing various objects at him, a new and different object appearing in his hand each time he drew it back. The ones that made contact with anything exploded in a variety of ways, with the cloud of shimmering mist that exploded from a foal’s bottle turning a group of fleeing ponies into foals themselves.
Buu countered, sending out just as many red energy disks, destroying all of Discord’s objects. A moment later Discord’s talon shot out of the dust cloud, seizing and crushing Buu’s head. The headless body stumbled backwards, quickly reforming its head. “Ow...” he said tauntingly, seemingly unphased, much to Discord’s rage. Buu teleported into Discord’s face, slamming his knee into his muzzle. “I’ll tell you a little secret Discord, you want me dead, then you better destroy every single one of my atoms. You leave even one and I’ll just come right back.”
“Quiet!” Discord hissed. Slamming his bear paw into Buu’s chest, he sent the majin flying into town hall.
“Aww, is the hodgepodge mad?” Buu asked, now on top town hall. He conjured up a can of soda, casually drinking it down.
“You dare mock me?!” Discord screamed, his eye twitching in rage.
“You should really see someone about that anger, you're starting to develop a tic,” Buu commented.
“Buu!” Celestia called, getting their attention. Standing beside her was Luna and the restored Elements, determined looks on their muzzles.
“Well looks like I have to get goin–” Discord started before Buu caught him by surprise, the majin wrapping around his body like a snake. “Release me you freak!”
“Quickly! Use the Elements!” Buu shouted, his body’s magical properties negating Discord’s chaotic magic.
“Do as he says!” Luna commanded, watching as Discord struggled against Buu.
The Element Bearers all looked at each other before focusing on their Elements. They rose up off the ground, firing a rainbow colored blast of magic up into the air that arced back down at the two.
“See ya, Discord,” Buu said, giving him a quick two finger salute before teleporting away at the last second.
“Damn you!” Disord screamed as the blast hit him, returning him to his stone prison. It washed over the rest of the town, reverting it back to its normal state.
“And that is how you take down the Lord of Chaos. Any questions?” Buu asked, suddenly standing amongst the ponies, giving them a nice scare.
“Yeah, I got one!” a rainbow-maned pegasus shouted, getting up in his face. “Just what the hay are you anyway?”
“Me? Thats easy, I am Buu, Majin of Harmony, protector of the weak, warrior of righteousness, so on and so forth,” he said, waving his hand in a small circle in front of himself as he gave a little bow. “Though I take it I’ve been asleep for a while huh?”
“You were asleep for a thousand years,” Celestia commented, looking him over. “I hope the prolonged sleep hasn’t affected you adversely?”
“Nah,” he said, shaking his head and wiggling his body like jello. “See? I’m good.” He stopped jiggling and looked down at the Elements. “So... you gals know who I am, why don’t you tell me who you are?” He conjured up a chair, quickly taking a seat.
He listened closely as they introduced themselves: the Element of Laughter was a pink earth pony named Pinkie Pie, the Element of Generosity was a white unicorn named Rarity, the Element of Kindness was a yellow pegasus named Fluttershy, Loyalty was the multicolored pegasus Rainbow Dash, Honesty was an earth pony named Applejack and Magic was a purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle.
“If I may, Mr. Buu but um... what exactly are you?” Rarity asked, looking him over. “I’ve never seen anything like you before.”
“I should hope not.” Buu got up, stretching. “To answer your question, I am a majin.”
“I have a more important question: Do you like parties?” Pinkie Pie asked, suddenly staring into his eyes. She was standing on her back legs, her forelegs braced against his chest.
“Yes Pinkie,” he said, patting her head gently, “I like parties.”
“Yes!” she squeed briefly before becoming deadly serious, “Do you like cake?”
“Do I like cake?” he asked, glaring. “‘Do I like cake,’ she asks.” He glared harder, making her cringe and pull back a little, a frown starting to form on her muzzle. “Hell yeah, I like cake.” He conjured up a slice and shoved it into his mouth, whole. His licked his lips, chuckling at the faces they made at his strange body contortions.
“How can ya do stuff like that?” Applejack asked, looking rather queasy.
“I dunno, I just can. I’ve got weird magic that lets me completely control my body’s make-up. Like so,” he said, then melted into pink liquid.
“Oh no! Somepony must have dumped water on him! OH what a world what a world!” Pinkie lamented, her mane starting to deflate a little.
“Nah, I’m good,” Buu said as he reformed, good as new.
“Yay! Now I can throw your ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party!” She jumped up and gave him a hug before darting off, leaving pink smoke in her wake.
“Buu, we should really get you to Canterlot. A lot has changed and your presence might cause the population to panic,” Celestia said, trotting up to her restored friend.
“Bah! Nobles can wait, I gotta party!” he shouted, throwing his hands up. Before they could stop him he teleported away.
“Well, it’s good to know he hasn’t changed,” Luna said with a giggle. “We shall return Discord to the royal gardens,” Luna said, approaching the statue. With a flash of her horn, they both vanished.
“Princess?” Twilight asked, getting Celestia’s attention, “We don’t have to worry about this ‘Buu’ do we?”
“Oh no Twilight, Majin Buu is a dear friend of ours from long ago. He’s just a little eccentric like your friend Pinkie. Though I must warn you, there are times when he can be nonsensical, but thats part of his charm. For the moment I leave him in your capable hooves.” She gave Twilight a nuzzle before teleporting herself back to the castle. “Oh my,” she paused, “I forgot to warn them about Fat Buu... I’m sure they’ll be fine.”
“So, the self-titled ‘Majin Of Harmony’ is awake, hmm?” Beerus contemplated, rubbing his chin. He had longed for his day, as foretold by the Oracle Fish.
“What do you plan to do now?” Whis asked, standing next to his charges throne, eyebrow raised.
“I doubt he’d put up much of a challenge now, but...” Beerus stood up, his long tail swishing back and forth. “Ah yes, that’s it. Whis, we’re heading to the Otherworld. Yemma still owes me big for killing those robot cuttlefish.”
“As you say,” Whis said, tapping his staff against the ground. A moment later they reappeared in the Otherworld, holding up Yemma’s line of souls.
“Hmm?” Yemma asked, looking up from his book. “Oh, Beerus, my old friend, what brings you here?”
“Just calling in that favor, Yemma,” Beerus said, looking up at the taller being.
“I figured,” Yemma said with a sigh, “What do you need me to do?”
“Oh, just let me borrow a few dozen souls is all.” Beerus smirked. Majin Buu would get to his level or die trying.
The gathered ponies all just stared in horror at the scene before them. Pinkie had thrown together Buu’s welcome party in record time. Once the townsponies had been rounded up and assured that he was of no harm, the party had started. It was going rather smoothly until Buu had morphed into a very obese version of himself and started to devour all of the food in a frenzy.
“Hey! Leave some of that for the rest of us!” Dash shouted, causing the overweight majin to pause and look back at her.
“Ponies want eat too?” he asked in a rather childish voice, a cupcake inches away from his face. He frowned, a bit of his more rational mind regaining control.
“Yes! Just cause it’s your party doesn’t mean you get all the food!” Dash berated, fuming over her empty stomach.
“OK! Buu make more food!” He got to his feet with a childish laugh, turning his attention to the balloons that floated above them. “Cake!” Buu shouted, firing a pink beam from his antenna which engulfed the balloons in a pink aura. There was a poof and they gently fell to the ground, now in the form of several cakes of various size and shape. “Now there food for ponies!”
“H-how did you do that?” Twilight asked, utterly dumbfounded by the majin’s use of magic. She knew a few transmutation spells herself but they weren’t that powerful or easy to cast.
“Buu used Chocolate Beam!” he declared happily, striking a heroic pose. He blinked for a moment before his body shifted, reverting back to his original form. “Ugh... I hate being that hungry,” he complained, shaking his head a little. He blinked, looking at all the confused townsponies. “Uh... sorry about that, I’m not myself when I get hungry...” he looked away, rubbing his neck, rather embarrassed.
“Oh it’s alright sugarcube,” Applejack said, giving him a reassuring smile. “We all get like that sometimes! Just means ya have a healthy appetite!”
“Yeah, ‘healthy’,” Dash muttered to herself, getting a glare from Applejack.
“We’re missing the point here!” Pinkie shouted, getting everyone’s attention, “It’s time to party!” As if on cue, the DJ started to play her jams and the ponies started to mingle, treating themselves to some of the former balloon cakes.
“You gotta love how quickly ponies get over things,” Buu said with a laugh, taking a seat and sipping at a soda he had conjured up.
“I have so many questions to ask you!” Twilight exclaimed, taking a seat next to him. Levitating a quill and scroll in her magic, her face spread into a manic rictus.
“Look, I just woke up from a thousand year nap, I really don’t want to answer questions,” he said, holding his hand up. “I just want to relax, make some friends and then find somewhere to crash for the night.” He finished up his soda before transmuting the empty can into a cupcake, which he shoved into his mouth.
“That’s still creepy,” Dash shuddered as she and the others took their seats at the table.
“Mr. Buu, you must come to my boutique sometime, I would love to make you some clothes,” Rarity tapped her chin, looking him over, already thinking up several designs that would fit his odd, changing form.
“Sorry to disappoint you but I’m not too into clothes anymore,” Buu said, shaking his head. “The pants are as far as I go. Also, don’t call me Mr. Buu, just Buu, I’m not married and I’m not my father.”
“Surely you must get cold,” Rarity protested with a frown. “You don’t exactly have any fur, dear.”
Buu just rolled his eyes with a sigh, “I thank you for the concern Rarity, but believe me, I am rather unaffected by the elements. Hell, I could survive in space if I felt like it, where there is no air and no warmth.”
“OK, now you’re just making stuff the hay up,” Dash said, rolling her eyes. “You can not go up into space,” she crossed her arms, frowning at him.
“Well I can, I don’t really need to breathe,” he said with a shrug.
“Yes, well, back to the subject at hoof,” Rarity said, clearing her throat, “Don’t you think you should have something nice to wear when you go up to Canterlot? I could whip you something up.”
“Nah, I got it covered,” Buu said as his torso shifted. A moment later, the top layer of his skin morphed into a sleeveless orange shirt with a blue shirt underneath it. “Tada! I can make my own clothes!”
They just stared at him, rather speechless. Everytime they thought he couldn’t get anymore impossible, he just kept one-upping himself. He was almost as bad as Pinkie.
“H-how? You just turned your own flesh into clothing!” Twilight shouted, slamming her hooves onto the table, her eyes wide and her mane starting to frazzle.
“I have no idea, I just can. Star Swirl looked into it as well and as best he could come up with is that since I’m mostly magical I can do whatever I want to my body,” he explained, having conjured up another soda. “It’s rather handy if you ask me.”
“Ah’m just not gonna question it,” Applejack said with a sigh, taking a sip of her drink. “Y’all are even crazier than Pinkie, ya know that Buu?”
“I get that a lot actually,” he said with a laugh, “I mean, Pinkie wasn’t around back then but people still told me I was crazy, not that they minded of course. Most people, after the whole ‘talking wad of gum’ thing wears off, take a liking to me. Well, except for Platinum, but she was always a bitch.”
“Wait, are you talking about Princess Platinum?” Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow. “One of the founders of Equestria?”
“Yup,” he said with a sagely nod. “She was also a total bitch. Wouldn’t stop complaining or throwing people into the dungeon over the stupidest things. I swear she threw a guy into the dungeon for seven years with no trial just for coughing.”
“That sounds rather... extreme.” Twilight frowned, looking up from her notes. “What about Chancellor Puddinghead and Commander Hurricane?”
“Well... Puddinghead was... not all there. He was like Adam West in Family Guy except ten times worse. How he got in a position of power is beyond me,” he leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. “As for Hurricane, she was way into BDSM, apparently she had a harem of the best looking stallions and mares... and a few griffons. I never saw it, thank god.” He shuddered, shaking his head. The girls just stared at him, looking a little wide eyed. “Aw crap, I think I broke them...” He got up, waving a hand in front of their faces. “Well... uh... I’m gonna go mingle... you girls uh... keep doing what you're doing.” He quickly slunk away, moving into the crowd of chattering party goers. Most of the ponies were nice, though more than a few were hesitant to get too close to him.
He paused, a frown forming on his lips. Despite the rather jumbled collection of energy signatures the surrounding ponies created, one stood out among them. A very strong chaotic presence was in the vicinity, one that was remarkably like Discord. Deciding to nip the problem in the bud, he slipped out of the building and into town. He moved quietly, feeling around for whatever monstrosity that Discord had left behind.
“Is that... crying?” he asked, turning down an alley. The presence, and crying, only increased as he walked into the alley, managing to move soundlessly. Sitting in the middle of the alley, bawling her eyes out, was a small purple filly with a cutie mark depicting a screw and a baseball. Her mane and tail were a darker purple with a splattering of white. Sitting atop her head was a yellow and white beanie with a green propeller. He moved up to her, kneeling down. “Hey.”
She yelped in surprise, jumping up and floating in the air, gazing at him with fear filled eyes. Eyes that were, Buu noted, spiraled.
“It’s OK,” Buu said, holding his hand up, “I’m not gonna hurt you. My name’s Buu, what’s yours?” he asked, giving her his best smile.
“S-Screwball...” she said with a sniffle, dropping back down onto her hooves, “W-where’s daddy...?” she asked, looking at him with a rather pathetic whimper.
“Is your daddy... Discord?” Buu asked, wincing a little as she nodded, “Well... they put him back in stone.”
“Daddy’s gone!” she wailed, crying into her hooves, her propeller hat drooping in sadness. Buu looked on in silence before stretching his arm out and pulling her into a hug. She hesitated for a moment before hugging him back ,sobbing into his chest.
“Hey now, don’t cry,” he said, stroking her mane. “Your daddy didn’t leave you on purpose.”
“H-he didn’t even bother to look for me!” she shouted, hugging Buu tighter.
‘Geez,’ Buu thought to himself, ‘Discord is a deadbeat dad on top of being a jerk.’ He looked down at Screwball, giving her another smile.
“How about... if I become your new daddy?” She blinked, looking up at him and tilting her head.
“Y-you’d be my daddy?” she asked, sniffling, wiping her nose on a napkin that had appeared from nowhere.
“Sure, I’m great with kids!” he declared, scooping her up and placing her on his head. She let out a small giggle, holding on. “You also make a great hat!” he announced, strutting out of the alley, the pair sporting huge grins.
“Buu!” Twilight called, rushing over to him, the other Elements in tow, “Where have you been? You just up and left the party without telling anypony...” she paused, giving him an odd look, “Why is there a filly on your head?”
“Oh you mean Screwball?” Buu asked, reaching up and ‘adjusting’ the filly, making her giggle. “She’s my new hat.”
“Uh huh...” Twilight nodded, “And where did she come from?”
“I dunno,” he admitted with a shrug. “Found her in an alley crying. She said her daddy, Discord, abandoned her and I decided to adopt!” He smirked, giving a double thumbs up.
Pinkie gasped, jumping into the air. “This calls for a ‘congratulations on your adoption’ party!” She darted off in a burst of smoke, which made Buu blink. He shook his head, looking back at the remaining ponies.
“Buu don’t you think this is rather... sudden?” Rarity asked giving an uncertain look, “Taking care of a foal is a lot of work.”
“Are you saying I’m not responsible?” Buu asked, glaring at Rarity, “I may be a pink, nonsensical weirdo but one thing I am not is irresponsible!”
“You can’t adopt the spawn of Discord!” Twilight shouted, her eye twitching, “She’s probably plotting to free him right now!”
“She’s a foal, Purple Smart!” Buu shouted back, crossing his arms, “A very strange foal with swirly eyes, but a foal nonetheless!” He reached up, scooping Screwball off his head and holding her in front of Twilight’s face. “You see this adorable face? You know what will happen if she gets sent to an orphanage? Sadness! And it’ll be all your fault! Yours!” He gave her a rather intense stare, pointing at her dramatically. “Is that what you really want Twilight? Making a sad filly even sadder? For shame!”
Twilight just stumbled back under the verbal onslaught, a little dazed. She gazed at Screwball, the little filly giving her big, watery puppy dog eyes. “Ugh!” the beleaguered mare shouted, throwing her arms up into the air, “Fine! But if she causes any trouble it’s your responsibility! Yours!” She waved a hoof at him.
“Woohoo!” the pair shouted, sharing a high five.
“Ah’m goin’ back to the party, Ah’ve had enough crazy fer one day,” Applejack shook her head, trotting back to Sugarcube Corner with Dash and Rarity in tow. Twilight gave Buu one last dirty look before following with Fluttershy.
Buu moved to follow before he turned, staring off into the distance. Something was off... he frowned, unable to shake the feeling.
“Daddy?” Screwball asked, poking his head gently with a stick while floating in front of him.
“Huh?” he asked, turning to her, a bemused expression on his face as she poked his cheek.
“You were staring off into the distance,” she explained, tossing the stick over her shoulder, causing someone to issue a familiar scream. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m OK,” he said with a nod, “Come on, let’s go party.” He scooped her up, teleporting away.
“What a disgustingly sweet planet,” Raditz sneered, gazing down at the bustling streets of Manehatten. Ponies went about their day, oblivious to the danger that loomed above them. “Let’s have some fun shall we?” He thrust his hands out, unleashing a volley of ki blasts, grinning as several buildings exploded. “Much better.” He grinned, cracking his knuckles. “I wonder how long it’ll take for him to come rushing to their rescue? Well... better light a fire under his ass.” He dug deep into his body, grasping onto the power that laid within and summoned it up with a scream.
The skyscraper below him shattered as he exploded with energy, his hair turning a golden color, his body surrounded by a similarly colored aura. “You hear that, you useless wad of gum! I’m going to crush this world underneath my boots! If you care to stop me then you’d best make it quick!” To prove his point, he fired off another volley, toppling a nearby skyscraper. “But please, take your time.” He spoke in a much calmer, colder voice, a wicked, predatory smile gracing his face. “I’m rather enjoying myself.”
