Meet My Daddy!

by Justin Daniels

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Other, Sex, Cheerilee, Scootaloo, Crossover, Human, Gore
Length: 9876

Everypony wonders why Scootaloo never brought her dad for Family Appreciation Day last year. This year, however, he decides to pay a visit... all the way from Los Santos.

Everypony wonders why Scootaloo never brought her dad for Family Appreciation Day last year. This year, however, he decides to pay a visit... all the way from Los Santos.

Published 2015-02-14 17:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-23 04:54:26 UTC

Meet My Daddy!

Author's Note

Highly inspired by "Meet Mah Uncle" by "GeneralLiberator". Might even make this a series, if it goes well... though that series would be a bunch of single-chapter stories like this one.

Meet My Daddy!

The rain poured heavily in the city of Los Santos, America. There were countless people rushing across the streets to get from one point of the city to the other, whether it be in a vehicle or on foot. The vehicle users, however, were abiding by the laws and driving around the speed limits.

That is... all drivers except one.

A black "Annis Elegy RH8" with an icy white secondary color sped through the center of the street without the slightest care in the world how many people he ran over. Inside the car, he was examining his phone in one hand, and steering with the other.

He sighed when he saw the text message that he just received. The caller ID said "Unknown", but the words beneath it made it clear who it was.

"Family Appreciation Day is today. Are you free to pay our daughter a visit this year? And after that, maybe we could catch up for lost time? (-_0) "

The driver smirked before swiping through the phone and narrowly dodging a passerby who shouted random profanities that he already heard thousands of times from several other drivers. Then he replied, "On my way."

He then went back to the home menu and tapped on his "Equestria" app. A ten second timer began on his phone, so he quickly slid it in his pocket and stepped on the gas pedal even harder. His destination was just up ahead... the ocean.

"Ten" the phone began. He shifted gears to increase in speed even more.

"Nine" he rammed directly into a cop, sending him flying backwards, and leaving a small red trail on his car.

"Eight" he pulled his pistol out right as several other cops started shooting after him.

"Seven" he managed to shoot another distant cop in the forehead as soon as he raised his pistol.

"Six" he shifted gears again, as the bridge was literally just meters away.

"Five" he sped on the bridge while multiple pedestrians were either rammed, crushed, or frightened for dear life.

"Four" a man dealing overpriced hotdogs sold his last hotdog to a customer shortly before the car tossed his customer overhead.

"Three" the hotdog dealer stared in shock at the passing car.

"Two" the hotdog dealer found a bullet lodged into his forehead. The driver's car flew off the bridge.

"One" the car landed in the water just in time for the blood to be washed away.

"Zero" the car vanished in a flash of white light, though the activity of the splash hid it from public eyes.

"Alright, class! Please take a seat!" Miss Cheerilee said in her usual cheerful manner. "Now as you all may know, today is Family Appreciation Day, which means that everypony has to bring one family member over, so that they may tell us about what they do!"

Scootaloo sat there silently with a slightly worried expression on her face. Everypony around her seemed to have at least one parent with them. Sweetie Belle was sitting in the desk next to Scootaloo's, with her dad standing behind her; a Unicorn Royal Guard from Canterlot.

Apple Bloom managed to get Big McIntosh to be there, despite the strange situation that his younger sister and her friends brought him into last year involving the teacher... though Scootaloo actually felt slightly happy that Cheerilee refused to be with him. After all, she was just doing as she was told to do from her beloved mother.

Silver Spoon brought her father over to talk about what he did for a living, while Diamond Tiara "hired" her butler to help spread the word on "how amazing she was when she yadda-yadda-yadda". Nothing new there.

Several more classmates brought their parents, while a few even brought older siblings, grandparents, and even guardians who adopted them.

Then, there was Scootaloo. She sighed in despair as she had the gut feeling her father wouldn't show up again, due to "time constraints". Miss Cheerilee let out a depressed sigh while the parents began speaking to the class. Her eyes were focused on Scootaloo, while she tried listening for the parents' cues to switch.

The day went on, and they were finally at the last of the parents that were there. Diamond Tiara's butler began speaking about her, as usual, while Miss Cheerilee and the rest of the class were forced to listen.

About an hour later, and the butler was done speaking. Miss Cheerilee took a deep breath before turning towards Scootaloo. She then tried to defend Scootaloo at least a little. "Okay, class. Now that we've been through all of the parents, I-"

"Oh, Miss Cheerilee~!" There goes that plan.

Miss Cheerilee turned towards Diamond Tiara before asking in her signature cheerful tone, "Yes, Diamond Tiara?"

"I don't think Scootaloo had her turn to introduce her parent to the class!"

Scootaloo gave Diamond Tiara a death glare, while Diamond Tiara returned the gesture with an evil grin. Scootaloo then turned towards Miss Cheerilee with a worried expression on her face.

Miss Cheerilee opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, the sound of a device beeping played from behind the teacher's desk. Miss Cheerilee's eyes widened as she turned towards the source of the beeps and reached behind the desk.

She gave a weak smile as she lifted the pink-coated device up, and placed it on the desk... it was a cellphone. She flipped through the menu until she checked her latest text that she received and internally cheered at the words that just made their appearance... "On my way."

"Miss Cheerilee? What's that?" Diamond Tiara asked confusedly.

Scootaloo looked up at Miss Cheerilee, who smiled and nodded to her before tapping on the device a few more times. Then Scootaloo turned towards Diamond Tiara with a newly found burst of confidence before replying, "It's called a cellphone, of course! It's a device that Daddy gave to Miss Cheerilee so that they could communicate together from different worlds!"

The class stared at her blankly... then everypony, save for Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Big Mac, Hondo Flanks (Sweetie Belle's father), and Miss Cheerilee, started to laugh at the little filly. Scootaloo's determination was quickly shot down, and she sunk into her desk while hearing some of the adults speaking of fillies and their imagination, while the students were quietly taunting her, and calling her a liar and/or a kidder.

The laughter died down instantly when a foreign sound roared through the outskirts of the school building. They turned towards the window and gasped when they saw a huge black and white metal carriage going through the dirt road heading towards the school building... without anypony steering it! The fillies screamed and ran away from the window while Miss Cheerilee stepped towards it curiously and opened the window, as the carriage made its loud roaring noise. Then it screeched across the grass and made a sudden halt. Finally, its growling noise stopped, and was replaced with nothing but silence.

The silence was broken when one of the doors to the carriage opened up, and a single black boot attached to a blue leg landed on the grass, followed by a second. Then a tall bipedal creature stepped out of the carriage and closed the door. The biped then walked around the carriage, allowing those inside the school to get a good glimpse at it.

It stood well over three times the height of Big McIntosh, and appeared to have large patches of uncovered flesh on its face and its claws. It had a short, thin, and scruffy beard, but a long mane that was parted on both sides of its head from the center. It wore a white and black striped shirt beneath a black jacket with white stripes going horizontally across its chest. The jacket was made out of a material that was unrecognizable by the fillies and their family members. It also wore dark blue denim pants over its legs, and the pair of black boots, which were also made out of something unrecognizable. Over its eyes were a pair of dark silver sunglasses that concealed its green eyes surprisingly well. The shaved patches of flesh of the creature's body that was revealed appeared to be a tanned white color, and its hands had a slight hint of hair on them.

The stubble, along with the way how its body was built, gave the ponies the impression that it was a male. He silently scanned the building before nodding his head and walking towards the entrance to the school. Instinctively, Miss Cheerilee ran towards the entrance while saying, "Please wait inside, everypony. I'll be back in just a second!" After receiving an approving, yet frightened, nod from the students and their family members, she trotted out the door and through the hallway.

The human took a deep breath before opening the front door to the school building. As soon as he took two steps inside, however, he was met with the teacher of the Elementary class, Miss Cheerilee. The two just stared at each other for about ten seconds until she squealed with joy and jumped, forehooves first, into the human's arms.

Winded, sore, and almost completely out of oxygen, the human put on a smug smile before returning her hug with an additional pat on the back of the shoulders. "Justin! What took you so long? Our daughter has been worried sick about you!"

A collection of gasps filled the hallway. With an additional red tint on her cheeks, Cheerilee turned around, only to find out that the entire classroom was at the door... which was left open.

Before any more words could be mentioned, Scootaloo burst through the crowd with a huge grin on her face. "Daddy! You made it!"

Justin smirked and gently placed Miss Cheerilee back on the ground before opening his arms out for his daughter to leap into. She did so without hesitation.

"So... now that that has been out of the way, why don't we all go into the classroom, so that we could get started?" Miss Cheerilee asked while eying the class and the human who was now holding Scootaloo between his arms, cradled on her back, and tickling her belly with one of his hands. She weakly smiled before adding, "I... have a feeling we're going to need to explain a lot of things, after all..."

Everypony was back inside the classroom. The students were sitting at their desks, and their parents were standing right beside them, should something go wrong.

Justin was standing in the center of the front of the room with his shoulders arched forward, and his head arched downwards to keep his head from hitting the ceiling. His hands were tucked inside the pockets of his jacket, and his expression was completely normal... almost too normal.

Miss Cheerilee sat there at her desk while eying Justin warily, almost slightly impatiently, as she waited for him to say something. Regardless, though, he didn't even speak for the whole minute that he stood up there.

"So does it talk?" Diamond Tiara asked while making her boredom all but more clearer.

Justin looked up at her and raised his eyebrows in attention. Then he reached up to his ears and pulled a pair of earphones from them, with loud music billowing from them. He then tilted his head to the side and inched towards her direction, implying that he didn't hear her.

"I said do you talk?" Diamond Tiara repeated.

Justin opened his mouth and mouthed the word "Oh" before shaking his head left and right.

"Why not?" she asked, to which Justin looked towards Scootaloo.

Scootaloo cleared her throat before replying for him. "Well... when he and Princess Celestia first met... she kinda-sorta didn't like the words he used when he saw her. So now, he has to live without the capability of speaking... but he can still write, though!" She turned towards Justin and smiled innocently. "Right, Daddy?"

Justin nodded his head before turning towards the chalkboard, lifting a piece of chalk up, and writing his response. <"Right!">

A hoof was quickly raised once that discovery was made. Justin turned towards the source, and pointed towards the filly.

"What are you, Mister?"

Justin smirked (having heard that one before several times already) and replied, <"I'm a creature from another world known as a 'Human'. What I did, though... I don't know if I should say it.">

Cheerilee sighed in relief at that news, having already known first-hoof what it was that he did for a living.

Her relief was short-lived, however, on the next filly's question. "Did you ever kill anyone?"

Justin smiled and nodded his head before replying, <"Countless people, actually! Literally, I can't even remember how many assholes I shot down with-"> His message was quickly erased by Cheerilee who was frantically sweating as her hooves moved in a blurring motion.

"JUSTIN! Not in front of the children, please!"

Justin's eyebrows raised again as he merely shrugged his shoulders and motioned towards the filly that asked the question. The filly in question sunk down in her desk worriedly.

Cheerilee sighed before turning towards the filly. "He didn't kill any ponies, though... and he won't kill anypony ever!" She deadpanned at Justin before chipping in, "Right, Justin?"

Justin nodded his head and gave her a thumbs-up.

"Good! Now, then... next question, please?"

Another filly decided to ask Scootaloo a question. "So, Scootaloo! Why didn't you ever tell us that Miss Cheerilee was your mother?!"

Scootaloo smiled sheepishly before scratching the back of her mane and replying, "Well... she told me not to tell anypony that secret because it would eventually lead to questions involving Daddy."

The filly nodded his head before his older brother asked, "Miss Cheerilee?"

Cheerilee looked at the adolescent stallion and smiled. "Yes, Chocolate Rain. I'm sure you were there when he and I first met. Will you be okay with me telling the class, also?"

Chocolate nodded his head and replied, "Yes, ma'am. I'll be okay with it."

Cheerilee cleared her throat and began her story. "Well... do you all remember the Changeling invasion that happened last year?"

The classroom nodded their heads while Hondo and Big McIntosh gulped, having a good idea on what she was going on about.

"Well, that wasn't the first one that happened in the past decade... it was the second."

TEN YEARS AGO

The city of Canterlot was bustling with activity. Several nobles were roaming around and going about their businesses, while a group of young teenagers walked through the road with huge smiles on their faces.

One of the teens was a white unicorn mare with a short blue mane and a pair of purple shades. Another was a coal-coated earth pony mare with a black mane and a pink bow tie. The third was a minty green unicorn mare with a medium-length light mane. The forth was a dark purple earth pony mare with a pink mane, who also wore silver braces.

In order, their names were Vinyl Scratch, Octavia Melody, Lyra Heartstrings, and Cheerilee.

The four of them were trotting from a concert hall when the sound of a loud scream caught their attention. They turned around, only to find a changeling in the city gripping onto another mare's neck, and dodging her flailing hooves with its fangs showing as it hissed and tried to bite her.

Vinyl acted fast. She levitated the Changeling in the air and threw it head-first into a street lamp, leaving a rather nasty-looking green splotch on top of it. Then it landed in a nearby rosebush while the four mares ran up to the victim... only for the victim to leap up and dash away before they could even get a clear look at her.

They were about to ask what was wrong when a distant swarm of buzzing noises coming from behind them caught their ears. They turned around, dropped their jaws, and stared in horror as a huge swarm of Changelings covered most of the sky.

It took them a few seconds for their next plan to kick in... and quite frankly, it was a plan that they didn't even have to tell each other.

Vinyl nervously chuckled before turning towards her friends and meekly saying, "Uh... ha ha... um... yeah, buck this! EVERY PONY FOR THEMSELVES!" She, followed by the other three mares, then decided to turn tail and go into a full-speed gallop towards Canterlot Castle.

As soon as they made it to the front gates, the swarm of Changelings were gaining speed at an ominous rate, and most, if not all of the city's residents, were already holed up into the castle courtyard, while a protective shield bubble was cast over the gates to keep the citizens safe from the Changeling invaders while Princess Celestia dealt with the plans for a counterattack while also comforting her faithful student, who was nothing more than a filly involved in something no fillies should have to deal with.

Nopony knew what it was that Princess Celestia was dealing with, but rumors were spread across the castle that she was having to make a choice to either try increasing the power of the protective spell around the castle, or contact "external" help in their cause.

While the drama was going on inside the castle walls, the four teenage mares were rushing towards the front gate while a small band of guards were holding the gate open with a small chunk of the shield bubble removed to allow them passage.

Suddenly, Cheerilee screamed in agony as her hooves buckled together and caused her to topple over to the ground. Her friends, however, didn't notice her, as the sounds of the city were too loud for them to notice anything. When they crossed the gate, the Changelings sped even faster towards their prey, and caused the guards to force the gates shut with Cheerilee still outside.

Lyra quickly turned around to do a head count, but gasped the moment she noticed Cheerilee's absence. She turned towards the gate again and screamed in horror as Cheerilee slowly tried to crawl towards the gate with blood coming from her braces and snout. Her hooves were limp, though, which sent a sudden chill through Lyra's spine... Cheerilee sprained her hooves.

Cheerilee winced as she turned around and saw her oncoming doom approach her. She screamed in horror as the Changelings were now slightly less than a mile away from her, but constantly gaining even more speed for their easy prey.

Princess Celestia was sweating profusely as her youngest member of the Solar Knights held the shield bubble as long as he could. There were a few reported casualties already, and the entirety of Canterlot's remaining survivors were piled inside the castle just outside the throne room. She was holding a private meeting, as the options of retribution were now growing slimmer and slimmer.

She sighed before looking at the only other person in the room. "Very well, then... so long as the targets are only Changelings, you have my permission."

The figure she spoke to was a young adult human with short brown hair, green eyes, and tanned white skin. He wore a white t-shirt underneath an open black hooded jacket, a pair of black jeans, and a pair of light brown boots.

He lifted his right hand up and slid his thumb back and forth over his fingers, hinting his world's currency.

Celestia sighed before nodding her head. "Yes, there will be one million bits in it for you." The human deadpanned at her. "Also, it shall be converted into 'American Dollars', with the value of the gold converted properly." That made the human nod his head before turning towards the nearest window, where a table full of an assortment of guns rested, courtesy of a certain vehicle that the human was brought into the courtroom with.

"Oh, but Justin?" The human stopped lifting his pistol for a moment before turning towards Celestia with his eyebrows raised in attention. "If you see one of my subjects, then don't shoot them. If anything, rescue them, and you shall be given extra."

Justin nodded his head before tucking the pistol in his jacket pocket and lifting an SMG from the pile of weapons. "Oh, and if you do see a pony, I also need you to hover your... device's camera over him or her. Then I can sense if it is a Changeling or not."

Justin sighed before tucking the SMG in his jacket also. Celestia always did wonder where he kept all of his weapons, but then she decided to go against questioning it, after having to learn... or rather, trying to learn, how a certain pink filly from a rock farm near Ponyville did what she did most of her short life.

Finally, after mere seconds of waiting, the entire table was cleared, and Justin was left with a white and black-striped backpack over his back, and a Minigun in his hands, with a strap attached to it over his shoulders, and through the backpack's straps.

Justin lifted the Minigun and was about to open fire, when Celestia gasped and stated, "No, that glass hold sentimental value! Don't shoot it!"

The Minigun stopped rotating and Justin let out a frustrated groan. He then decided to throw the word "sentimental" out the window... or rather, he just simply threw the table out of it, instead. Shortly before Celestia could even comprehend what just happened, he was already out the window with his Minigun's barrel rotating and his finger on the trigger.

Everything was going so fast for Cheerilee. At first, she could see countless swarms of Changelings rushing towards her from almost half a mile away. Then, once a table landed a few meters away from her, multiple Changelings started to fall from the sky with green trails flowing from their bodies. There also appeared to be a loud mechanical growling noise and countless loud pops coming from whatever the source of the gray smoke trails that collided with the Changelings was.

When the sounds were close enough, she was able to see just who it was that saved her... or in this case, what. The biped stood well over three times her height, and appeared to be showing little to no emotion towards the countless slaughter-fest that it was hosting. If anything, the creature started to actually smile as the corpses quickly filled the streets. She hoped and prayed to Celestia that the creature wouldn't see her... but alas, no such prayers were answered that day.

The creature looked at her once a majority of the enemy front lines were taken care of, and lifted another foreign object towards her. Seeing the results of what the bigger object was, she didn't want to take any chances and began to frantically paddle her was across the ground in a futile attempt to get safely inside the castle walls.

Then the creature slid its thumb across the screen and sighed before placing it back in its pocket. Finally, to add fuel to Cheerilee's living nightmare, it started moving towards her.

Justin sighed once he saw that the pony was, indeed, a pony. He didn't feel like having to carry a paranoid equine to the castle walls, despite the promised extra pay. He decided to just go on ahead and do the rescue for the hell of it, though, as he did slightly enjoy the way how it was looking at him. If horses and ponies on Earth showed as much expressions as the ones in this world did, he probably would've just left her there to rot. Seeing how he was dealing with alien creatures, however, he knew that this would be a chance to teach them all about respect for humanity. If anything, maybe he could have a statue built for him by their leaders once he was done cleaning these streets.

No sooner than he started reaching towards the pony did it, or in this case, she, began screaming at the top of her lungs.

Justin groaned in frustration before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a roll of tape. Sure enough, he would've used it to tie any rival businessmen up with C4 strapped onto them for any intel that he needed, but in this case, it was for something different.

He taped her snout shut then proceeded with all four of her hooves. Then, once she was all tied up, he ignored her muffled protests and lifted her over his shoulders, while his Minigun just suddenly disappeared from his hands. He then walked up to the front gates while the guards just stared at him in shock. With a deadpanned expression, he lifted Cheerilee again and "gently" dropped her on the floor in front of the gate before turning around once again and pulling his Minigun out of thin air.

Inside the Canterlot Barracks, multiple unicorn guards were keeping their life sensors operational while searching for any other signs of life other than Changelings. So far, only four more were left... then three... then two... then one. It stayed as one for about thirty seconds when it became two again.

"Damn it! We have an injured one on our hooves!" one of the few commanders of separate squads cursed. He turned towards another one and asked, "Have we heard from the Griffons, yet?!"

The other one shook his head and replied, "No, sir! The courier hasn't even returned, yet!"

"Shit... so we're going to have more casualties, then?!"

Suddenly the door to the room they were in burst open, and in galloped a scientist with an extremely shocked expression on his face.

"What is it, Third Eye?" the first commander asked.

Third eye replied, "S-sir! You... m-might want to check the life readings again!"

The commander groaned before doing as requested. Then his eyes shot open and he couldn't help but cast the spell once more. His jaw then dropped open at the sudden change.

"From fifty enemy casualties to two hundred in five seconds?! W-what the buck is going on out there?!" He turned towards the other commander. "How many allied forces are out there?!"

The other commander's horn glowed for a few seconds before he looked back at the first and replied, "T-there's only two out there! One's an earth pony civilian... and the other... I... can't say."

The first commander glared at him before asking, "What do you mean can't say?!"

"I... I mean I can't even detect any ordinary signatures from it, sir! It's not a pony, dragon, zebra, griffon, goat, fox, cow, or anything I've ever read about! And... it's about as tall as a Minotaur!"

The first commander's jaw dropped at that statement. Then he decided to question it later and scanned the enemy life forces once again. The results made him gasp in shock once more.

"T-they had over one thousand drones here... a-and now... now there's only three left?! What the buck is that soldier out there?!"

"That's just it, sir! The readings from it also states it isn't a soldier! And... y-you might not like what my readings say that it is!"

"What is it?"

"It's... it's a criminal, sir!"

The first commander's hooves began to shake as his consciousness risked fading in an instant. "Shit... so in other words, we're bucked once the Changelings are gone?"

The second removed his helmet and placed it on the ground. "Either that... or we're at his mercy, sir."

Justin groaned as the last two visible Changelings continued mindlessly flying towards him despite the hundreds of corpses littering the streets. He wasn't groaning at the fact that they were alive, though... he was groaning because he was out of ammunition. He decided to ditch the Minigun and pull out his SMG. Then he quickly took out the last two Changelings right as they were just a few meters away from him.

He smirked to himself before turning towards the gates to the castle and staring at the guards who were now carrying the semi-conscious mare through the gates. All eyes were on him now, though... but in his own mind, he didn't really give two fucks what they thought of him. To prove his point, he gave them a smug grin before raising both of his middle fingers towards them and walking up to the front gate... which was then locked from the inside.

Justin sighed before walking back up to his Minigun to collect it. He lowered his left arm towards the top handle when a severe sharp pain jolted through his left shoulder. He turned just in time to see a Changeling firmly biting through flesh and tissue. Without hesitation, he growled in pain before reaching into his left jacket pocket with his right hand and pulling out his pistol. Then he took aim between the Changeling's eyes and shot more holes into it until it officially let go of him... though the pain caused its jaw muscles to sink a little deeper into his shoulder in the process.

He growled even more as he then dropped his pistol and pinched the creature's jawbone between the joints and manually pried its mouth open. Then, once it was no longer in his shoulder, he gripped it by the throat and slammed it onto the stone floor. Finally, in a fit of rage, he lifted his pistol back up, took aim at the Changeling's head, and unloaded a full clip on it before reloading and repeating the same process three more times. What's worse for the Changeling was the fact that he had extended clips with twenty four bullets in each one.

Finally, when there was nothing more than a green bloody mess where the last Changeling was, he looked at his shoulder and sighed as the blood continued to stain his new jacket. He was only able to see it for a few more seconds when his vision started to blur. Finally, when all was said and done, he passed out.

When Justin woke up, he was in a surprisingly familiar environment... a hospital. He opened his eyes and groaned in pain before looking at his bandaged shoulder. The second he put pressure on it, however, he hissed in pain and slumped his shoulder back on the mattress.

"Easy there, sir... you don't want to put too much pressure on a Changeling wound!" a strangely familiar feminine voice cooed from the foot of his bed. Justin looked towards the source of the voice as soon as the sound of hooves clopping filled the room. Then he saw none other than Cheerilee peeking her head up over the mattress with a concerned look on her face. "Are... are you okay?"

Justin had one eyebrow raised out of confusion. Surely it wasn't new for him to be sent to the hospital... but out of all the trips he took there, not once did he ever have any visitors before... at least, visitors that weren't out to pop more lead into him.

Regardless, he decided to cherish the moment and nod his head with a very, very, very vaguely noticeable smile on his face.

Cheerilee, in turn, nodded her head with a smile before saying, "That's a relief! Um... i-is this a bad time for me to be visiting?"

Justin thought for a moment before scratching his chin in thought. Sure he wasn't too fond of having others socialize with him while he was at a weak point... but on the other hand, he wasn't familiar with having visitors who seemed to actually be friendly towards him. So, he shook his head and motioned his right hand towards a seat for her to take.

She smiled at him before bowing her head gratefully. "Thank you." Those words only caught Justin's attention even more. He loved it when he was appreciated, but he loved it even more when it wasn't for any particular reason. Free respect is always a nice thing to have.

"So, um..." she began fiddling with her hooves, which also appeared to have a few bandages over them, though not full casts. "I... wanted to thank you for saving my life." She took a deep breath before adding, "And yes, I... spoke with Princess Celestia. She... told me a lot about you."

Justin sighed before planting his right hand over his forehead. Great, it turns out this wasn't just an innocent "thank-you", but rather, an upcoming interrogation.

"She... told me that you, um... killed people for a living."

Here it comes...

"And yet you saved my life..."

Yep. Now she's going to ask the infamous "Why did you save me?" shenanigans.

"I..."

Just say "Why?" already... sheesh!

"I'm glad to know that I was an exception... so thank you for sparing my life, also."

See? Told you it was... wait... what?

Justin looked at her even more confusedly. Sure enough, this was definitely the first thank-you that he received despite there being knowledge of him being a murderer.

"Um... Princess Celestia also told me that you... can't talk anymore."

And now, the speechless taunts, right?

"S-so... I brought you a portable chalkboard, so that you could speak to anyone that asks you anything. I... believe there might be a few of them."

I sense a "but" coming on.

"But..." Nailed it! "I promise, I'm not one of them. I... just wanted to say thank you... and to hopefully make things easier for you."

Easier would probably be a bullet to the brain... but there's a reason why I hate fortune tellers, now. Reincarnation can be a bitch sometimes.

"So... yeah..." She looked both ways before inching closer to Justin.

The sudden closeness caused the heart monitor to increase in speed, as he was no longer feeling comfortable. He tried moving backwards, but only found more pain as he put more pressure on his left shoulder once again. "Don't worry, I just want to tell you something!"

Then he felt stupid. His heart rate quickly normalized before he sighed in relief and inched his right ear closer to her. "Princess Celestia told me that you might be in need of a... 'safe-house' while you're in Equestria... right?"

Justin hummed before nodding his head. A safe-house would be better than living off the sides of the roads. All eighteen years of his life in Los Santos taught him that one.

"Then... you could stay with me in my apartment! It's... a little ways away from here, but it's well hidden!"

Justin mentally slapped himself for not noticing that approach. He shook his head before writing on the chalkboard he was given.

<"No offense, but I happen to be from the wrong crowd that you'd want around your place.">

Then the mare did something he did not expect her to do after hearing that... she giggled.

"Don't worry! Princess Celestia also informed me of the... things that you like." Then she whispered even lighter than before. "And it just so happens that I might have the cure to your pain... and perhaps a few special drinks stored away with your name on it!"

Justin's eyes opened even wider at that comment. No way... you don't mean...

<"Wait... this world has beer in it?!">

Cheerilee nodded her head before replying, "And it's made fresh from a good friend of mine!"

Justin's very, very, very vague smile returned. <"And... what about-">

"Which of these sounds more appealing for a 'Happy Pipe', by the way? Moon Grass, or Rainbow Weed?"

Oh, shit... I think I'm actually starting to like this visitor! One last thing, though...

<"Why not both?">

She sat there silently before a wide grin formed on her face. "You know what? I love the way you think!"

Well, looks like I've got a friend, now... suck it, Los Santos!

PRESENT DAY

"Well... he saved me from that invasion, and even went to the hospital after doing so! And... ever since then, it was love at first sight!" Miss Cheerilee said after spending about a minute down memory lane. She noticed then that some of the students were giggling in the back, along with the older brothers of said students. "What's so funny?"

She heard the sound of chalk landing back in place before she turned around and gasped at the message Justin wrote to the class.

<"She promised to keep me supplied with booze and drugs. How could I say no?">

"JUSTIN!" Cheerilee silently growled before frantically wiping the message away.

As usual, Justin shrugged his shoulders confusedly and gave her his signature innocent stare through his glasses.

"Anyways, class... please disregard his message. It was just a joke to keep everypony's attention, that's all!" She deadpanned towards him again. "Right, dear?"

Justin shook his head left and right before Cheerilee bumped into his leg with painful speed. Then he decided to nod his head up and down, though he moved his left hand left and right in the process.

Cheerilee groaned before asking, "Why don't we change the subject? Is there any more questions?" She was already hoping the questions would end... but no such thing would happen today, apparently, as another hoof was raised. "Yes, Apple Bloom?" Cheerilee's tone was starting to slightly get more and more frustrated.

"Ah gots a question fer Mr. um... Justin?"

Justin nodded his head and motioned for her to continue.

"So Ah was wonderin'... how did y'all an' Miss Cheerilee even have Scootaloo? Like, she's a pegasus, an' Miss Cheerilee's an earth pony!"

Cheerilee sighed in relief at the actual innocent question. "Oh! Well, actually it's more along my line of family members! You see, her mane is actually close to the same color of my coat, with a little bit of light from his skin... and her coat is closer to his skin tone, with a little bit of darkness from my coat! And as for why she's a pegasus? Well, my great great grandmother was actually a pegasus! And what's more, my great grandfather was a unicorn, also!"

Apple Bloom smiled before nodding her head. "Thank y'all! An'... now Ah gots another question, if'n that's alright with y'all?"

Cheerilee smiled and nodded her head while Justin mimicked her gesture, with a smaller smile in comparison.

"So how did y'all make Scootaloo, exactly? Like, how did Miss Cheerilee even have a baby?"

Cheerilee's ears shot up and her cheeks suddenly went red. The same could be said for Scootaloo's expression. Justin, on the other hand, was emotionless.

"Um... w-well... h-he and I were... um... when a mare and a stallion..." She was interrupted by the sound of flesh sliding together followed by more laughter from the children and teenagers. She hesitantly looked towards her husband and gasped at the sign language he was showing.

His right pointing finger and thumb were in the shape of an "o", and his left pointing finger was sliding in and out of it at a steady pace.

"JUSTIN!" Cheerilee shouted before reaching up and pulling his right hand down to his waistline again. He turned towards her with his usual confused look on his face. "Really , Justin? In front of the fillies?!"

Again Justin shrugged his shoulders confusedly.

"Um... I actually have a question, if that's okay?" one of the parents of the fillies asked. It was Silver Spoon's father, Fancy Pants.

"Ah, yes! Of course, Mr. Fancy Pants?" Justin smirked at the stallion's name but the stallion made no comments on it, as he was focused on Cheerilee.

"Yes, well... if you don't mind me asking, what exactly did you do that eventually led to you both... conceiving your child? In your own words, please."

Cheerilee looked up in thought as more memories began to go through her mind.

EIGHT YEARS AGO

Two years have passed since the Changeling Invasion. Justin was now one of the most feared enemies of any and all opposing kingdoms that Equestria had as a defender.

He was the top of the ladder, now. Not a single worry in the world... and yet, he still remained living in the same apartment room as Cheerilee, who was now an eighteen-year-old college student.

The two of them sat in the living room on a sofa with sixteen empty bottles of "Berry Punch Reserves" on the coffee table. Another addition to the coffee table was a special device that Justin helped Cheerilee discover that night... a makeshift bong.

The two of them were in a laughing fit as Cheerilee continued telling Justin about her years in high school. Justin silently laughed along with her and scratched her back with his right hand... a motion that she grew to love the most about his "hands".

"An... an-then... don't shoo tell anypony elsh that I shaid thish, but... t-then he said..." She shook her head and planted her right hoof on top of it as she chuckled and tried to find the right words to say. "An'... an' then he shaid... 'Dayum, Cheerilee! That'sh one fine ash y'all gotsh in-between them flanksh o' yersh!" She did her best to imitate the shocked expression that the stallion she was speaking of had on his face in her story. Her eyes widened and her pupils even managed to shrink. Following the message, she burst into another fit of laughter while Justin just smiled and silently laughed as if he were about to lose his breath. He even had to grip onto his sides to keep the pain from building up.

Though barely legible, he picked up his chalkboard and replied, <"Trust me, babe. I've seen a lot of guys looking at you... I mean, if you get looks from griffons and stallions like that, then it's clear that you do have a nice ass!">

Cheerilee laughed again before tapping on his shoulder with her left hoof, while the half-empty bottle fell from her grasp... though both of them were too drunk to even notice. Justin's bottle even met the floor when he was laughing, and yet he still took a good swig of air and kept his hand in the "c" shape as if the bottle were still there. "An' then... you wanna know what I shaid to him?"

Justin nodded with an expectant smile on his face.

"I shaid... Ah shaid, 'If you want it sho badly, then shtop wanking it, and jusht rut me, you pussies!'"

The two of them burst into more laughter before downing their invisible beers, but it was Cheerilee who noticed the missing beverage first. She looked down at the wet couch before giggling like a school filly. "Oh, shilly me! Looksh like I made a mesh! I guessh I better clean it up, huh?"

Justin followed her gaze before smiling and shrugging his shoulders. Then he merely picked the bottle up and placed it on the coffee table... but stopped moving once he saw the bong next to his hand. Then he pointed at it and smiled at Cheerilee, who returned the smile.

"I guessh a little Rainbow Weed wouldn't hurt, huh?"

The two of them stared at the world around them with their eyes half-lidded. Somehow, the Rainbow Weed was able to burn out the speech-impairing effects of the alcohol for both of them (with Justin's writing actually being slightly normalized.) Their trains of thought, however, were still trashed for the night.

"You know... I don't think I've ever told you this, but I... I... I bucking love you, man." Cheerilee said in a monotonous tone.

Justin looked at her with a raised eyebrow, but a smug smile on his face. <"And it took you two years to say that?">

Cheerilee shook her head before adding, "No way, dude! Well... okay, maybe a little around that time... but seriously. Before I even moved here, I was seriously quite a loner... and I rarely had any friends who understood the magical powers of... of the Rainbow Weed, man!"

Justin nodded his head before replying, <"Babe, until you hang with me for a good while, you'll soon come to understand that there really is magic everywhere... and the Rainbow Weed? It's even around in my world... but with a different name, of course.">

"I know, right?! It's... it's amazing how much everypony misses... and yet, you, the infamous Human from another world, understand it like a unicorn understands their magic! I... I wish all stallions were as keen as you!"

Justin and Cheerilee's faces were starting to slowly inch closer. "It's almost like... almost like we were meant to be..."

They paused for a moment before Justin sighed and inched further away from her. <"Sorry... but I don't think I'm ready for you, yet...">

She smiled before shaking her head in response. "Then... maybe we could just... cut to the chase, and skip the mushy stuff?" Then she wiggled her flank suggestively. "Well... most of the mushy stuff?"

Justin lifted his hand to reply, but was interrupted by her placing a hoof over his hand. "I know it must be rough... not sleeping with a woman for over two years? I... may not be a human, but... maybe I could help you out with your urges? At least, until we find a way to send you back to your world?"

Justin sat there silently before sighing and nodding his head in defeat. Then Cheerilee smiled half-lidded and pressed her lips onto his while the two of them fell onto the couch.

Beyond that, everything was a blur. All Cheerilee could remember past that was the next morning, where she was lying on top of Justin, who was sleeping in his underwear on top of the couch. She didn't even let that register, though, as she was too hung over to even bother questioning the details... until the following month, at least, where the pregnancy test showed up.

PRESENT DAY

"Um... well... I guess you could say it was... similarities which resulted in true love?" Cheerilee tried to say, only to deadpan when she heard the chalk land on the board once again.

<"The two of us were too stoned and drunk to really comprehend what we were doing at the time.">

"JUSTIN!" Cheerilee growled again, though in a more audible tone. "We are going to have a LONG talk when we're through here!" Justin smiled innocently once again. "And not that kind of talk, Mister!" Then he frowned and rolled his eyes... and though they were hidden by his shades, she already knew his body language well enough to notice.

"Now, then... again, please disregard that! Anyways, will that be all the q-" More hooves were raised. "Of course not, why did I think it would actually be over?" She put on a fake smile before turning towards the first filly to raise her hoof. "Please, go ahead!"

"Um... are you both still married?"

Cheerilee sighed. "Yes we are. Next? No? Okay, then-" Another show of hooves were raised. "OH, FOR THE LOVE OF-" Her sentence was cut short by the sound of an ear-splitting bang in the classroom. All ears were covered and all eyes were on Justin, who had his pistol in the air, and raised upwards. Smoke trailed from his pistol, but he still clicked something on the side of it and placed it back in his leather jacket before writing again.

<"No more questions? Good! Then class is dismissed! Thank you for having me here, Miss Cheerilee!">

She stared in disbelief at her husband before groaning and slamming her forehead on the desk. Then the entire class was gone in the blink of an eye... save for two fillies and stallions, who were all still staring at Justin in disbelief.

<"Oh, and go on ahead and tell Celestia to dock that one from my pay, Sergeant Flanks.">

Hondo weakly nodded his head but remained silent. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, however, stared at him, Cheerilee, and Scootaloo with unquestionable fascination.

Apple Bloom was the first to speak up. "Um... so yer Scootaloo's Daddy?"

Justin looked down at her and nodded with his innocent smile again, as if he did nothing wrong.

She then stretched her right hoof out and smiled warmly. "Then Ah'd like ta be the first one in the Apple Family ta say it's a pleasure ta meet cha!"

Justin raised an eyebrow confusedly before the word "Apple" clicked in his mind. <"You're one of Scootaloo's best friends here, aren't you?">

Apple bloom nodded her head and replied, "Yes, sir! An' Ah'll go on ahead an' say thank y'all fer doin' what y'all jus' did!"

Justin tilted his head in even more confusion. <"Um... you're welcome?"> He turned towards Scootaloo who was staring at Apple Bloom confusedly, also.

"Um... what do you mean by that, Apple Bloom?" she asked her Southern friend.

"Well, duh! Didn't y'all see the looks on Diamond Tiara's an' Silver Spoon's faces?! Why, Ah'll bet they won't try ta bully us again! Well... at least fer a long time, anyways!"

Justin's eyes shot open at that statement. <"Wait, bully?! You've been getting bullied, Scoots?!">

"W-well... I've been standing up to her a few times, though..."

Justin hummed before nodding his head. <"Might have to pay her dad a visit... he looked like the kind of guy I could make a... special contract for in Celestia's name, since I'm technically an 'Associate' of hers.">

Cheerilee shook her head and replied, "N-no! That... won't be necessary, Dear! I'm... sure you made your message perfectly clear just now to both of them!"

Justin sighed before shaking his head. <"There's still got to be a solution to this shit, though... hold on, I've got an idea!">

He reached into his jacket pockets and pulled out a smaller pistol than the one he used to clear the room, to which Cheerilee confiscated immediately. "Good heavens, NO!"

Justin groaned before reaching into another pocket and pulling out a Nightstick. Before Cheerilee could confiscate it, however, he managed to block her attempted hoof-related assault by catching her hoof with his right hand and passing Scootaloo the Nightstick with his left one. <"There ya go, kiddo. Now if she talks shit to you, you can easily kick her ass.">

"JUSTIN! ARMED VIOLENCE IS A SERIOUS OFFENSE ON SCHOOL LAWS! AND WHY HAVE YOU BEEN CARRYING ALL OF THIS INSIDE THE SCHOOL, ANYWAYS?!"

Justin shrugged his shoulders before replying, <"Didn't have time to put them away?">

Cheerilee paused for a moment before groaning. "Well... okay, I'll give you that one, but still! Why were you carrying them this time?!"

<"I was being chased by the military. Had to improvise one way or another.">

The small crowd gasped. "Wait... you've been chased by the military?! How come?!"

Justin shrugged his shoulders again before replying, <"Well I had to have some motivation to stay hidden and lay low for a while... so I figured 'Why not spend it with my family here in Equestria?'"

Silence filled the room. Then all eyes focused on Cheerilee, who somehow had a sudden mood change. First, she was angry at him. Now, though? Now she was smiling widely at him with tears of joy in her eyes. "Y-you... you were thinking about us?!"

Justin smiled before flipping his phone out and showing her his screensaver... a picture of him standing at the right corner, Cheerilee at the left, and baby Scootaloo in-between them. <"All the time.">

Everyone was speechless for a long while. Then Cheerilee leaped up again and wrapped her hooves over Justin's shoulders as she embraced him in another deadly hug, which he was barely able to return, minus the deadly part.

Big McIntosh cleared his throat before speaking. "Um... c'mon, fillies. Ah'm sure y'all might wanna try y'alls crusadin' at the farm, right?"

The three fillies' eyes shot open at that. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, YAY!" Then they were gone in the blink of an eye... though Scootaloo came back quickly and jumped in-between her parents' shoulders, resulting in a heartwarming family group hug.

"Thank you for showing up, Daddy! Do... do you think we can get some ice cream later on today?"

Justin smirked before nodding his head. <"Sure thing, Scoots! I'll even give you a few extra bits for your friends to have some, too!">

Scootaloo cheered before nuzzling her father's cheek. "Thanks, Daddy! You're the best!"

Justin smirked before ruffling her mane. <"Any time... now please run along with your friends. Trust me, you wouldn't want to leave them hanging... I learned that one the hard way before.">

She nodded her head and leaped from their arms, before dashing out of the room. The family members quickly joined the fillies again, and now it was only Justin and Cheerilee in the classroom.

Cheerilee smiled half-lidded at him before whispering, "So... are you ready for detention?"

Justin smirked before gently placing her on the ground and locking the door to the classroom. <"Ready, Miss Cheerilee.">

For the next hour, the Elementary class's curtains and blinds closed while the supposed "empty" school building emitted very feint noises that any passing parents would have to shield their fillies' ears from. It was just another Friday evening... and any guards that were passing by may have already known what to expect once they saw the black car parked outside the school building.

***** THE END *****

(SHORT PREVIEW) Breakfast With The Family.

"You've been doing quite well, Justin..."

"..."

"In fact, you've been doing well enough that my sister and I have reached a decision."

"..."

And just like that, his vision is engulfed in pure light, before he feels a strange lump exit his throat... a lump of air. And yet, to his shock, he understands the feeling all too well.

He looks at Celestia with a surprised expression. She merely responds with a wink.

"From this day forth, you are now allowed to speak again!"

...

"About damn time." he says in a groggy, barely audible squeak.

"Oh, right. I forgot to mention this, but not speaking for ten years might have some repercussions with your throat. Just try using small words for now. It'll wear off eventually!"

"You son of a bit-"

"And that's how I got my voice back... and also the reason why I flew into the roof of the house." Justin finishes his story before taking another spoon full of Pony Puffs Cereal (NOT part of a complete breakfast. The secret is in the milk with 50% more alcohol involved... but they'll never know!).

"Hm... so let me get this straight. You were cursed to not speak, because you cursed the princess out when you first got here?" Cheerilee asks, taking in a scoop of her own Pony Puffs Cereal (25% Alcohol added to prepare her for the fillies at school.).

He nods his head and takes another bite, then flips open his phone to view his latest text messages.

"And then, once you get your voice back, you curse her out again?"

"Yep." he says, staring at a recent popup from Trevor Philips.

"You are such an idiot..." she groans before standing from her seat and trotting up to him. As she gets closer, however, her expression becomes more of a sultry smile, as she stares at him with half-lidded eyes. "But damn it, you're such a rebel, too... my rebel, no less~!"

And like that, Justin and Cheerilee lock lips and twirl tongues... for about one second until Scootaloo clears her throat from her side. This, of course, causes the parents to pull away, and for Cheerilee to get back to her seat while Justin flips back onto his phone.

"So listen, um... Daddy?"

Justin raises his eyebrows and looks at Scootaloo in attention. "Yes, Scoots?"

She smiles at him and begins taking a bite from her own bowl of Pony Puffs Cereal (0% Alcohol because Justin knows that Cheerilee would spawn-kill him twenty times before she begins to forgive him for giving their daughter alcohol at the age of twelve... not that he would, anyways, though. Criminal or not, he still has morals... well... somewhere, at least.).

"I was wondering how much longer you might be staying up here in Equestria?"

Justin nods his head and smiles at her. "Well... maybe another week or so. After that, though, I may have to head back to Los Santos. Mr. Philips needs me to help him with a-"

"Oh no you don't, Mister! Not after you made that promise with us last month!" Cheerilee buts in, causing Justin to raise an eyebrow at her in confusion.

"Um... what did I agree to?"

She sighs before trotting up to his phone and tapping on a message she wrote to him.

During the final week, we're going to be doing "Take Your Daughter to Work Day". Since that's pretty much been every day of the year, I'm gonna need you to take her with you.

Um... do I get a say in this?!

Only if what you're saying is "Yes". Otherwise, no.

But you've been there before!

For our honeymoon, yeah! And if I remember correctly, there's been some laws updated since Princess Luna's most recent negotiations with a certain president... and maybe a certain boss of yours as well. So no "buts"! And besides, it'll be fun! What's the worst that could happen?

He stares at his phone idly while Cheerilee trots back over to her seat and begins to continue eating. Scootaloo smiles and happily noms on her breakfast as well, while Justin flips back onto his messages... but more specifically, he stares in horror at his latest text from Trevor Philips Industries.

New heist next week! Be there, or be fired... literally!

Justin continues to stare at the text message for about five more minutes, until he sighs and plants his head into his palms.

"Well... shit."

***** TO BE CONTINUED *****

Author's Note

Alright! By popular request, this story shall have its sequel! :yay:

Of course, it'll be a little while until I have it ready. Not to worry, though, as I now have been granted a new powerup on FimFiction! :pinkiegasp:

That's right, folks... for some really really odd reason, I'm now able to skip moderation and jump straight into posting stories within ten minutes to one hour! :pinkiehappy:

And I'm just now learning about this?! HOW MUCH MORE EPIC THINGS CAN I FIND ON FIMFICTION NOW?!:pinkiecrazy:

Sorry, lost my mind there for a sec. Anyways, be amazed! As the sequel to our lovable little disorganized, different, misunderstood, slightly psychopathic, dysfunctional family is underway, I plan on making it at least twice as long as, if not longer than, this one! That means at least 20,000 words of nonstop carnage, chaos, and craziness, in the next exciting adventure... "Take Your Daughter to Work Day"!