Chapters My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
(Approximately one season later)
"Free, I'm free!" exclaimed Discord. The draconequus was recently freed (accidentally by the CMC) and was already causing chaos. Moments barely passed before the Mane six and princesses appeared right in front of the lord of mischief. "A welcoming party? For me? Well this is a surprise."
"Shut it Discord!" yelled Twilight, moving toward him. "This is no welcoming party. This is a goodbye party, for you!" There was silence with exception of crickets chirping in the background. Everyone couldn't believe the terrible comeback Twilight just gave.
"That...was....terrible," said Discord.
"What?! I thought it was good!"
"Sorry, but no."
"Aww!"
Twilight Own Count: 2
"Now then," spoked Discord, but he stopped when he saw just what the sister princesses were wearing. "Love the snazzy new outfits, Celly, Woona."
"We don't have time for small talk Discord!" shouted Luna.
"Jeez, period much?" joked Discord, drinking a glass of chocolate milk. He drank the actual glass and toss the chocolate milk to the ground, causing it to shatter like glass. Luna was already steaming and was ready to kill, but Celestia stopped her from doing so. The last she needs is her sister to think irrational before he shows up and makes Discord his bitch. If anything, the chaos god should be her bitch!
"Look, Discord, we are not here to stop you." This statement caused shocked all around them. Discord himself was just as shock as well. "We are here to protect you."
"Protect me from what?"
"Oh look, Discord's free." said Mr. Popo. Instantaneously, Discord screamed like a little filly and turned around, face to face with 'the dark one'. The same dark one who was the real reason he was stoned. You see, Discord wanted to prank Mr. Popo just like how he did with the royal sisters. It was the first time when Discord realize there had never been anybody more sinuous than the genie standing in front of him. If Tirek were to ever escape from Tartarus and meet him...
....pfft, good luck with that! Discord would sooner reform than fight Mr. Popo. (Epic foreshadowing!)
"Hello maggot."
""M-Mr. P-Popo!" stuttered Discord. "What are you doing back in Equestria?"
"Well, I left these two maggots alone for a thousand years and already shit has been fucked up. Now, who gave you permission to be free?"
"Um, no one?" squeaked Discord, feeling small compared to the powerful demon in front of him.
"I thought so," said Popo before covering the distance from him to the chaos god in less then 0.000000001 seconds, bitch-slapping the draconequus to the wall. This left a very fine imprint of one Discord on the wall. Groans of pain can be heard on the otherside, but Popo could care less. "Now then, fetch me my pot and my bitch." ordered Popo. "And don't forget your uniform."
"Yes sir!" said Discord on the other side as he disappeared and reappeared again with a blunt filled with pot, Jynx, and is now wearing a British butler suit. Needless to say, the ponies were amazed that in less then a minute, Discord had submitted in defeat to the being in front of them. Twilight decided that perhaps she underestimated the being and thought too far ahead. She then approached him.
"Mr. Popo, it looks like we underestimated you. You have stopped Discord from creating chaos in such feats. I can see you involve in a lot of future events, right?"
Slap
"Waaaaahhhhhhhh!!!" were the sounds coming from Twilight's mouth as she was bitch-slapped from the back of Popo's hand. She was sailing over the yard and crashed into the wall of the royal castle. Everypony, plus draconequus stared mouth gaping at the sheer power of an Popo's bitch-slapping technique, patent pending.
"Oww!" she moaned, limbs twitching. "What did I say?"
Twilight Own Count: 3
"Ha, she reminds me of a worthless maggot back home." mocked Popo. He then grabbed his pot and his bitch.
"Jynx, Jynx, JYNX!"
"Bitch, shut the fuck up!" scolded Popo, shutting up Jynx. He then turned toward the eastern side of the royal castle. The (whatevers left of them) mane six were once again stunned and scared, but Celestia, Luna, and Discord knew what, or who, Mr. Popo was looking at. They can only think...
'She is so bucked if she invades and meets him.'
He then laughed once more.
"This season, you," said Popo, before disappearing to the Kami lookout with his pot and bitch.
Meanwhile, at the badlands, a certain Changeling Queen felt she should revised her invasion plan a couple more times, just to be safe. However, unbeknownst to her, it will not be Mr. Popo, but someone just as scary as him, or maybe annoying if you are a certain prince of space monkeys.
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
(Some time later in the season)
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, aka Cadence, aka really Chrysalis in disguise, looked at herself in the mirror to see her wedding gown. It just a few hours, the wedding will start and she will commenced the invasion on Canterlot. Other than the fact that Celestia and Luna are wearing questionable outfits and also the fact that Discord is free yet is wearing a butler's suit and looks like he could perished any moment, nothing can go wrong! This day is...Perfect.
"This day is perfect. No one has ever suspected a thing," mused Chrysalis. "Except for that purple unicorn, who is close to figuring out my plan. Luckily, no one seems to take her seriously, which confuses me since she is Celestia's student. Anyways, I feel nothing can ruin this day!"
(Meanwhile, in an another world)
Vegeta was busy doing what he does best, make himself feel superior. Granted, he lost his chance for immortality and the bitches, and is forced to wear that hideous pink shirt, but other than that, there was a good side to this. He beat Freiza, even though it was Kakarot who beat him and later on his future son Trunks who killed. He also achieve Super Saiyan with following a massive workout (Which is actually just the prince throwing a temper tantrum until he becomes one). But best of all, no more Nappa.
"Hey, Vegeta!"
Spoke too soon.
"What the! Nappa, is that you?!" yelled Vegeta. Luckily for him, no one's around to hear him, so no chances of anyone thinking he's gone crazy...again.
"Yeah. You won't believe this, but I died."
"How the fuck did you die?!?"
"I got in a car crash."
"You're a fucking Saiyan for Kami's sake! You could've gotten out unscathed!"
"Not gonna lie, but I was driving under the influence."
"Argh! What are you here for anyways?!"
"I'm here to grant you a wish, courtesy of the goddesses that love me because of my modeling career."
" A wish you say?" said an intrigued Vegeta. He could finally achieve immortality. "Nappa, that may be the greatest thing you have ever-"
"It can't be immortality."
"GOD DAMN IT!!!" cursed Vegeta. Oh well, time for plan B. "In that case, grant me-"
"Or bitches."
"FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!"
"Hey Vegeta, you know what you can wish for, panties."
"You know what? I wish for you, Nappa, to get the hell out of my head and go annoy some other poor bastard!"
"You mean... Make a new friend?! Thanks Vegeta! This shall be the best...day....ever!" And with that, Nappa was no longer heard, leaving Vegeta in the bliss moment of silence.
"He's gone...ha...he's actually gone...Ha ha. HE'S FINALLY OUT OF MY LIFE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" screamed the prince as laughed crazily to the air. Unknown to him, Krillin and Gohan were nearby.
"Hey Gohan, you think Vegeta finally lost it?"
"Judging by the way he's laughing and was talking to himself moments ago, no, this actually normal for him, Krillin."
"I'm not Krillin, I'm Juan Sanchez."
"Didn't you get in trouble with the authority because of fraud."
"Yeah, but that's just the money. 'Krillin' is still dead, so by legal standards, I can still be Juan." Gohan's cell rang and the hybrid boy answered.
"Yes? Really? Him? How bad? Alright I'll tell him. Krillin, it turns out that 'Juan Sanchez' is one of Mr. Popo's aliases, and he wants to speak to you."
"Um, when?"
"Hello, maggot."
"WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Krillin Own Count: As much as Krillin's losing streak
"I'm so happy, I could sing!" said Chrysalis as she cleared her throat to begin her number.
"This day is going to be perfect..."
'Testing, one, two. Is this thing on?'
"What the-?! Who's there!" shouted Chrysalis, surprised that somepony is in the room with her AND ruined her musical number.
'Hi.'
"Uh, hi? who are you?" asked Chrysalis to nothing.
'I am Nappa, former modeling spokesman, former Chancellor to King Vegeta, and I'm a Saiyan.'
"Charmed. Anyways, I am Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings."
'Oooohhh, a queen!'
"Yes, a queen. Now excuse me as I continue my musical number. Ahem...
This day is going to be perfect The kind of day of which I've dreamed when I was small"
'Wow, what an impeccable singing voice'
"Everypony will gather 'round Say I look lovely in my gown What they don't know is that I have fooled them all!
'Even though you are fat as a ball.'
"DID YOU CALL ME FAT!?!?" yelled a ticked off Chrysalis.
'Yeah, not gonna lie, but that gown makes you a little fat.'
"Shut up Nappa!" yelled Chrysalis. She didn't know why, but her patience is running out because of this being. Deciding to ignore the voice, the queen turned around to admire her gown....for a good solid second.
'Hey Chrysalis.'
"What?" she replied, annoyed.
'Do changelings wear panties?'
"NO! And that's none of your bucking business!" she yelled.
'Hey Chrysalis.'
"What?" she gritted her response.
'Did I mention that you remind me of my old partner before he killed me?'
"NO! And shut up!" Chrysalis yelled, nearly getting an aneurysm.
'Hey, Chrysalis.'
"WHAT!?!" she yelled for the last time. This time a floating figure was in front of her.
'I'm haunting you.'
She couldn't hold it anymore.
"AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
"Twilight?"
"Zzzzz."
"Twilight."
"Zzzzz."
"Twilight!" Slap
"Ow!"
Twilight Own Count: 4
Twilight woke up from her slumber and was met with the real Cadence. "Cadence! It's you! And ow, what hit me?"
Cadence gave the unicorn a sly smile. "Yeah, its me. Sorry about the slap though, you were asleep."
"Wait, how do I know you're you?' questioned Twilight.
"You once ate a gallon of ice cream when you brought home a test that has an 99% score and thought you were an failure. You then locked yourself in the bathroom and put on cheap makeup and made derogatory names about yourself. Lastly, you ran outside in the middle of the night because you thought Celestia was going to punish you by sending you back to magic kindergarten. It took you a week of therapy sessions to calm you down, and a month to make you stop wetting the bed."
Twilight Own Count: 5
Twilight blushed at this. "Okay, it's you. So where are we?"
"The castle dungeons. There's a hidden pathway here, but to reveal it, we must find a wall and smash it. Luckily I know the-"
"On it!" said Twilight as she started channeling magic on her horn and blasted one of the walls.
"Twilight, No! These walls are magic repellent!" yelled Cadence, but it was already too late. Twilight barely heard her before she was violently hit by an returned spell and smashed right on to the wall opposite of her.
"Owwww." she cried.
Twilight Own Count: 6
"Oh Twilight. You may be smart, but sometimes you can be dumb. If you were to hear what I was about to say, I know where the wall is." said Cadence.
"And, where is it?" asked Twilight still plastered on the wall.
"You're on it."
"Oh."
The wedding has started, and Chrysalis was trotting down the aisle. In just a few moments, she will commence the invasion and soon, all of Canterlot will be hers and she will be able to harvest the citizen's love to feed her children. It will solve her kingdom's problem.
'Are we there yet?'
Now if only she could solve her other one..
'No.'
'Are we there yet?'
'No.'
'Are we there yet?'
'No.'
'Are we there yet?'
'No.'
'Are we there yet?'
'No.'
'Are we there yet?'
'No.'
'Are we there yet?'
'No.'
'Are we there yet?'
'GOD DAMN IT NAPPA! The altar is right in front of me! Shut...the hell...up!'
'Okay.'
'Thank you.'
'....'
'....'
'Are we there yet?'
'GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!'
If anypony were to notice 'Cadence', they would have seen her eye twitching and mane being frizzled. She made it to the altar and stood next to a mind controlled Shining. She then notice that Celestia is not between them and is actually where the bridesmaids are. "Auntie," she whispered. "Shouldn't you be marrying us?"
"Well," Celestia answered, fearfully. "Someone already called it first, and I kinda like living."
"Err."
'She has a horn and wings. She's a Legendary Pokemon! If only I still have my Pokeball.'
"Uhh, Cadence?" asked Luna, who was beside her sister. "Are you alright?" Chrysalis looked at her with twitchy eyes.
"No, I'm fine. Uh, I just notice you're speaking normally. What gives?" She notice how Luna is sweating at an alarming rate.
"Um, it's because he order me to."
"Oo-kay," said Cadence before the doors were forced open and entered the real Cadence and Twilight. Everypony in the courtroom gasped, including Nappa, but for a different reason.
'No way! You know how to do clones?'
'Shut up Nappa!' mentally yelled Chrysalis as Twilight approached her.
"YOU!" she said, pointing her hoof at her.
"Me," smugly said Chrysalis.
"No, not you, HIM!"
"Huh? Who are you talking to-"
"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" said Mr. Popo behind her. Chrysalis gave a cry worthy of a little filly, not knowing she just dropped her disguised, revealing her true form. Everypony in the room gasp at this. This started a chain reaction as the changelings in disguise started to attack. One of the changeling captains gave out an order to trash as much carnage as possible. Windows were broken, tiles were smashed, food was flying around, and many other were, as one might say, "Shit has been happening here!" 5 minutes passed when everypony surrendered. One of the changelings flew toward Mr. Popo, not knowing that he is about to seal his fate. "Hey!"
"Yes?" said Mr. Popo. If the changeling were to notice his surroundings, he would have notice that Celestia, Luna, and Discord were moving away from them while Chrysalis is currently putting on a dark green maid outfit in order to appease Mr. Popo.
"Any final words before you surrender to us?"
"Yes....Clean that up." spoked Mr. Popo. This got the attention of every single pony and changeling in the room. Said changeling did not like the tone of Popo's voice.
"I beg your pardon? Do you have any idea who we are?"
"Oh please, do go on." answered Mr. Popo.
"We are the proud race of the badlands! We are the conquerors of these pitiful species you called ponies. We are changelings! The new dominant race that everyone else will bow before us and-! Wait, what's all this black mist forming all around meeeeee- OH MY GOD!" A black cloud formed around the poor changeling from top to bottom. Everypony/ling can only watch in pure unadulterated horror as the changeling started begging for mercy as he was consumed into a black void known as the dead zone. The bug disappeared into the portal, which lead to it closing and disappearing. Chrysalis can only cry as she witness one of her own dying for attempting to intimidate the dark demon. Nappa on the other hand...
'Ha, pointless.'
'God damn it, Nappa! I just witness one of my own losing his life and all you say is pointless?!?!'
'Not gonna lie, but what he just did moments ago, dick move Chrysalis, dick move.'
Chrysalis suddenly started to spasm. It was official. Nappa is, without a doubt, the most annoying person she ever met in her entire life.
'Buck you Nappa.'
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
Author's Note
Special thanks to 42Dannybob of DeviantArt for allowing me to use his version of the song.here!
Bald and Sexy
Popo was laughing
The laugh was, undeniably, the most scariest thing they ever heard in their entire mortal lives. Chrysalis, Discord, Celestia, and Luna heard it plenty of times, but it still scared the shit out of them whenever they hear it. Right now, Mr. Popo was laughing at the changeling maggot who thought could intimidate him. Obviously, they never learn the pecking order. Time to lay it upon these fools.
"Alright maggots listen up," spoke Mr. Popo. "Obviously, that useless maggot didn't know about the pecking order, so now I'm going to teach it to you."
Twilight then spoke, "Um, you already told us about the peckin-"
"Shut up maggot!" shouted Mr. Popo. The sky suddenly turned bloody red, which scared a lot of ponies and changelings inside.
"Sorry!" apologized Twilight.
Twilight Own Count: 7
The sky turned back to normal, prompting Mr. Popo to continue speaking. "As I was saying, I will teach you all the pecking order. There's you, the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, and Popo. Any other questions?" Everyone shooked their heads. Mr. Popo frowned a bit. He was hoping someone would ask so he can bitchslapped them. "Good, we can begin.... the reception party!"
"Um, actually we don't have a band since, well, my subjects sorta trapped the players," meekly said Chrysalis.
'Ooh, Ooh! I wanna sing!'
'Shut up Nappa! Not even Popo himself could hear you!'
"Oh, I heard that," said Popo smiling. This shocked Chrysalis.
"Wait, what?"
"POPO!" A large cloud of smoke appeared on the altar, which revealed a tall, muscular man wearing saiyan armor. Did I mention he's bald and has a modeling career face?
"No...way! I'm alive!" shouted Nappa.
"Huh, didn't know he could do that," said Discord. Chrysalis had on a face of pure horror written on it. She can believe that Mr. Popo just brought out, HIM! That horror increased ten fold when Nappa looked at her.
"Hey Chrysalis!"
'No...'
"I'm alive!"
'No, no, no...
"You know what that means?"
'NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO...!' Nappa suddenly gabe Chrysalis a big hug.
"We're going to be able to hang out and be the bestest of friends!" Finally, Chrysalis couldn't take it anymore.
"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!"
"I know, the best. Check out all these bald ponies. There's me, those changelings, and, uh, UH!"
"So, what exactly are you planning to do?" asked Spike. Nappa released Chrysalis (who was still cursing) and stared at the mini dragon.
"Chrysalis, look! A pokemon," said Nappa.
"-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
"A what?! No, I'm Spike," corrected the dragon assistant.
"You hear that Chrysalis? It's a Spike! If only I had a- hey, wait a minute." Nappa reach to his side and pulled out a small pokeball. "I forgot I keep a spare for emergencies like this!" He clicked on the button, causing the pokeball to grow a little.
"Wow how did you do tha- OW!" Spike said before he was hit on the face with the pokeball.
"Aw man! I didn't catch it!" complained Nappa. "Oh well, time to sing! But first, I need some equipment."
"Oh please, allow me," said Popo. "POPO!" Smoke covered the room, and when it died out, there was a bunch of equipment, and A bunch of bald people that includes Krillin, Tien, Roshi, Piccolo and even those who had died like Ginyu, Guldo, Burter, Frieza, and even Guru! As always, Krillin makes a scene.
"What the hell! One moment, I was about to put the moves on an android girl, the next thing I knew, I'm here!"
"Okay, one, I don't believe you," said Nappa.
"Aww."
Krillin Own Count: Too much to count
"Second, we're about to do take two of Bald This Way!"
"Hell no," countered Tien. "No way in hell I'm doing this shit. There's nothing you can do that change my mind."
"Hiiiiiiiiiii."
"....on second thought, maybe I should sing."
"Yay!" cheered Nappa. The man-child saiyan passed out some scripts to the bald singers. "Alright, look at them, read 'em, memorize' em, then sing 'em. It's show time people!"
"-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKK! Wait, what's going on?" Chrysalis's question was answered when Nappa took the mic and grabbed everyone's attention.
"Testing, one two, is this thing on?" he said. "Ponies, Changelings, and pokemon-"
"SPIKE!"
"Whatever. Welcome to the reception party! For those who don't know me, I am Nappa, former chancellor to king Vegeta, former modeling spokesman, former movie director-"
"Hey that reminds me," interrupted Krillin. "You swindled me for that one movie idea."
"Don't care. And also, I am a Saiyan. Now let's start this party!" Music started playing in the background. It was sort of like techno. Ponies, changelings, and their gods watched as Nappa took the stand.
Nappa: It doesn't matter if you love me... or capital M-E. Just put your shiney heads up... 'cause you are bald this way baby.
My momma told me when I was young, "You're gonna roam the stars!" (SPAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCEEEEEEE!) She combed my tail, put my armor on And sent me off in my space pod
Krillin: All you need to do is shave your hair Then wax that bitch until it shines (light shones on his head, reflects itself onto a random changeling, killing it from the intensity of Krillin's baldness, much to Chrysalis's horror) Who gives a crap if all the children stare Just listen up and you'll be fine (scanning.... bald and sexy)
Nappa:I'm beautiful in my way Kami makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I am bald this way!
Krillin: Don't hide yourself in regret Just power up and you're set We're on the right track baby 'Cause we're bald this way! (Bald this way!)
Ginyu (to replace Tien): Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i was bald this way Baby i was bald this way! (Bald this way!) Chiaotzu: Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i was Bald this way Nappa: Right track baby We were bald this way!
Burter: Don't let it drag just let it gleam Guldo: Don't let it drag just let it gleam King Kai: Don't let it drag just let it gleam Vegeta Jr (Saibamen one before being killed by Vegeta): Don't be
Piccolo (In Yoshi outfit): Get rid of stubble and love your head Yoshi boy embrace the truth
In the life of a Namekian I must be this way respect my youth
Nappa: A different baldy is not a sin Believe capital M and E (Hey Hey Hey) I love my head, i love this baldness song Mi Scalp it will blow you away (blow you away)
I'm beautiful in my way Kami makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I am bald this way!
Krillin: Don't hide yourself in regret Just power up and you're set We're on the right track baby 'Cause we're bald this way! (Bald this way!)
Ginyu: Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i am bald this way Baby i am bald this way! (Bald this way!) Chiaotzu: Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i am Bald this way Nappa: Right track baby We are bald this way!
Popo: waaaayyyyy Nail: Don't Be Guru: Naaail
Don't let it drag just let it gleam whether black, white, blue or green your saiyan blood, namek descent your Kami teams, your Guru heads
Kami: Whether life's abilities choice to shave or biology Rejoice to love your head today cos Guru (Guru:Yeah) We are bald this way
Dende: No matter insect or kai Freiza or human life I'm on the right track baby cos i'm gonna survive No matter how dark the days my head will reflect all those rays I'm on the right track Krillin But my name is Dende
Frieza (talks it):I'm beautiful in my way Kami makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I am bald this way!
Krillin: Don't hide yourself in regret Nappa: Just power up and you're set Both: We're on the right track baby 'Cause we're bald this way! (Tien: Yeeaaaah)
Tien (with reluctance): Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i am bald this way Baby i am bald this way (Bald this way) Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i am born this way Right track baby I am bald this way
All: I am bald this way hey i am bald this way hey i'm on the right track baby we are bald this way hey!
I am bald this way heeey i am bald this way hey i'm on the right track baby we are bald this way hey!
Nappa: Same Bald Way We're Bald this way
Same Bald way We're bald this way!
When it was over, everyone was quiet. Then, they all started stomping their hooves, which signifies that they love the song! Nappa was shedding manly tears of joy.
"We did it! We manage to finish the song!"
"Yeah, that's great and all, but can we go home now?" complained Tien. Popo laughed at this.
"Oh hell no, you're staying here to enjoy all of this. Consider this my one time good deed to you," said Popo.
"Yeah Tien, relax a little," spoke Krillin.
"I change my mind, you're all going home, and you can thank that maggot over there."
"Wait, what?"
"Byyyyyyyeeeeeee!"
"Nnnnoooooooooooo!" shout Krillin before he and the other summons were sent back to their respective places.
Krillin Own Count: I lost count
As the ponies and changelings ease up and celebrated, Twilight spoke to her friends. "I don't like this."
"Oh, he's not so bad Twilight. He's doing what's best for everyone," softly spoke Fluttershy. Unknown to the shy pegasus, Popo heard her, but instead of mocking her, he SMILED! Not the evil ones, but a genuine smile.
'Excellent, I found my new partner.'
"Fluttershy's right, sugarcube," spoke Applejack. Twilight gave the farmer a sigh.
"Maybe you're right."
"You should just relax. Just do this." Rainbow cracked her neck, making a small crack from it.
"You know, that does sound relaxing. Maybe that's what I need." With that, Twilight attempted to cracked her neck, only for her to actually crack the whole thing. "Oh Faust, my neck!"
Twilight Own Count: 8
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
Bzzzt
Static was shown until an image of Discord standing in front of a camera.
"Hello, my name is Discord, I'm recoding this video for the Nightmare night special. Let us see what the others are wearing inside the castle, shall we?"
Bzzzt
Static flows until Celestia is seen in front of the camera. She is no longer wearing the maid outfit, but instead wearing a red dress and her mane is all pink. Discord then speaks. "Hello, Celestia my dear. Tell the viewers what you are dressed as."
"Well, I'm dressed as Sakura from the Naruto series Luna told me about." Celestia replied.
"Pre-time skip, time skip, or post war?"
"Pre-time skip, I didn't want to cut my mane."
"Well there you have it folks," spoke Discord off scene. "I think it suits her. After all, super strength, bad temper, useless in the first few episodes..."
"WHAT!?!"
"Gotta go!"
Bzzzt
The camera then shows Cadance dressed as Hinata with Shining armor dressed as Naruto from the pre-time skip.
"You mad, NaruSaku fans? It's cannon now and all it took was a two part series, and a movie."
"Who are you talking to Discord?" asked Cadence.
"Ask Pinkie, she'll tell you. Anyways, nice Hinata and Naruto costumes, you two."
"Awe, thanks. I chose them because it was adorable and seem fitting for us."
"That, and I get to say it." said Shining.
"Say what?"
"This!" Shining then rose on his hind legs and spoke," I'm Shining Armor, and I'm going to become prince of the Crystal Empire!"
"I'll believe that the day you throw your wife and NOT get beaten for it. "
Bzzzt
Next image shows Twilight dressed up as....uh....
"Twilight, what are you dressed up as?" asked Discord. Twilight grunted before answering.
"I'm Star Swirl the Bearded! You're over a couple thousand years old, you should know him!"
"Not really. Wait a minute, I don't remember inviting you!" accused Discord.
"Um, let me stay, please!"
"Ugh, fine, just stay away from the chocolate milk, they're mine!"
Bzzzt
The camera then shows Fluttershy dressed in an 18th century red Victorian suit with hat and vintage sunglasses. "And who are you suppose to be?"
"Oh um, Alucard."
"Come again?"
"Alucard."
"One more time?"
"THE CRIMSON FUCKER, YOU IDIOT!!!" yelled Fluttershy before realizing what she did and covered her face with her hooves. Discord had on a unreadable expression on his face.
"That... was... awesome."
Bzzzt
The scene now shows Rarity in...a marshmallow?
"The heck?"
"Oh hello Discord, love my costume? It's to show off my inner food, as Pinkie puts it. I think it's fabulous!"
"And creepy."
Bzzzt
The next scene shows Luna in a...
"Holy Sweet Faust! Luna, why are you dressed in a playcolt bunny suit?!?"
"Hmph, somepony stole my Yoko costume from Gurren Laggan."
Bzzzt
The scene now shows Rainbow Dash in the Yoko outfit.
"Hello, stallions."
Bzzzt
The scene now shows Pinkie pie... with no costume?
"Hey, Pinkie! Where's your costume?"
"Nah, I'm only here for the food."
"Oh."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"You know, if we straighten your mane and give you a yellow with black stripe suit, you can pull off as the woman from the kill bill movies."
"Give me a black and red spandex suit, some yellow thought boxes, and a bunch of cherrychimichangas so I can be Deadpool, then we're golden."
Bzzzt
Next scene shows Spike, who is literally black all over. Discord had a bad feeling about this. "Um, Hello Spike, who are you suppose to be?"
"Oh, I'm Mr. Popo."
"Then we're gonna have a problem."
Bzzzt
The scene now shows Mr. Popo. "Mr. Popo! What are you doing here, and don't you need an invitation?"
"Fool, I don't need an invitation."
"Well, uh, what's your costume?"
"Oh, I'm not wearing one...yet. Hold on." Suddenly, Discord knew exactly what's going to happen.
"HIT THE DECKS!"
Bzzzt
The scene now shows the entire Canterlot city in chaos. Ponies and changelings were running for their lives. Why? Try an fifty foot godzilla monster terrorizing the city.
"Ha ha ha..."
Bzzzt
The next scene shows the castle in flames.
"Ha, ha, ha..."
Bzzzt
The next shows Celestia hugging Discord for safety, since he dropped his camera on the way. They watch as a building is sailing towards them.
"CELESTIA! I LOVE YOU!"
"I LOVE YOU TOO, DISCORD!"
"Ha, ha, ha!"
Bzzzt
"And that is why we can't go," explained Applejack at the farm with her family plus Braeburn. She was Dorothy, Mac was the lion, Granny smith is the Tinman, Braeburn is the scarecrow, and Applebloom is Toto. Applebloom had an pissed expression, due to her costume.
"I hate you all."
The end!
Bzzzt
"Come on Chrysalis! Why can't we go?" asked Nappa. Chrysalis gave a glare to the saiyan.
"Cause I said no!"
"Maybe it's because you don't have a costume yet. Let me help you!" Nappa started to approach the changeling queen, who started to back away.
"No! Stay away from me!"
(Ten minutes later)
"There, you make a perfect Miku Hatsune!" gleefully said Nappa. Chrysalis was now wearing the outfit that Miku wears, and her mane was dyed blue and put in pigtails.
"I hate you." Chrysalis said with every fiber in her body.
"Now check out mine!" Chrysalis turned and saw that Nappa had gotten taller, gotten bigger muscles, had yellow spiky hair, and loss of eye pupils. "Hey, I'm Vic Mignogna. Pretty sweet, hu- Oh my god, my four vocal cords are acting up again!"
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
The Crimson Fucker's apprentice
Flashback
"Alright Angel, be on your best behavior while I'm taking a small walk." instructed Fluttershy. Angel just waved her off and slammed the door to her face. Flutters rubbed her snout a little before trotting away. "Oh, if only I was a little more assertive."
"That can be arranged," spoke a voice. Fluttershy eeped a little and turned to the source, who happened to be Mr. Popo on his flying carpet. Without warning, he grabbed the timid mare, placed her on his carpet, and disappeared in an after image.
The duo soon appeared at Kami's lookout. Fluttershy got off the carpet and stared at Mr. Popo. "How did we end up here?"
"On this magic carpet," explained Mr. Popo. "This lookout is millions of miles away, and this here thing gets us at ten thousand miles to the soul."
"What?!"
"To the gallon," corrected Mr. Popo. "Now then, I brought you here because you wanted to be a little more assertive."
"Oh! Are you gonna help me?"
"Oh hell no. If I wanted to help you, I would have done it back at your hometown. Which is why I brought in a alternative professional."
Suddenly, kickass music started playing. A swarm of bats came out of nowhere and started hitting the ground in front of the duo, forming a lump. The lump got bigger until it revealed a vampire. That's right folks, Mr. Popo just hired the CRIMSON FUCKER himself, Alucard!
"Sup." greeted the vampire.
"Sup," answered Mr. Popo.
"Um...Sup?" answered Fluttershy, confused. Alucard gave her a shit eating grin.
"Congratulations, you passed the first lesson."
"Um, thanks? But why are you helping me?" asked Fluttershy.
"The answer is simple: you take in a lot of shit that fate throws at you and yet you continue to play nice to it. If you were a man, you'll have some serious brass balls that every bitch will have a bitch fight over. Since you're a female, and if you look a little more human, you'll have some serious tits that even I will have no control over, and that's saying something since I have a big titted police girl as my fledgling."
"Um..."
"Now to do this, drink this whole gallon." Alucard produced a gallon of strange liquid out of thin air. How? Who cares, he's the fucking crimson fucker, that's why! He then hands it to Fluttershy, who grabbed it with her hooves. Without hesitation, she actually chugged the whole thing! Hell, she even managed to shock Mr. Popo and Alucard! "Shit, she's actually chugging faster than Paris Hilton on a Friday night in an Irish pub!"
"This here mare deserves a better spot on my pecking order. I'm putting her between Kami and me."
"All that's left is give her some threads, some cannons and were set. After all..."
"Bitches love cannons." Finished Mr. Popo. After their conversation ended, Fluttershy finished her gallon and hiccup. She then looked at the ground and said,
"All these squares....make a circle."
"Now we're getting somewhere!" shouted Alucard. "Alright, I'll be taking over from this point on. If my boss calls, tell her I'm going on a walk." And with that, the vampire grabbed the high on acid mare and disappeared.
Alucard and Fluttershy soon appeared back at the Hellsing manor, where to Alucard's joy, Walter was there, doing whatever most butlers does, cleaning up messes, or in his case, cleaning up after one of Alucard's walks. "Hey Walter, I'm going to cash in the favor you owe me."
"Which one?" asked Walter.
"The one where I convince Integra to give you free unlimited Netflix and all the Dr. Pepper you can drink." explained the crimson fucker.
"Oh that one. So what do you need? A replacement for your 70 inch plasma tv?" Said Walter.
"Tempting, but no. I need, and don't tell Integra, you to give this mare some cannons. You know what I say..."
"Ah yes, Bitches love cannons. Unfortunately, we're all out of anti-tank rifles and Miss Victoria won't turned in her old one."
"What about the spare to my pistols?"
"That I do have," said Walter as he produced an exact replica of the Casull and Jackal out of his pocket. This surprised Alucard.
"You carry them in your pockets?"
"Not since Master Integra tried to hide my Dr. Pepper. Here you go." Walter gave the seriously over power pistols to Fluttershy, who was still high on acid. "LSD?"
"Fuck yeah." Alucard said flatly as he grabbed Fluttershy and disappeared.
(45 minutes later)
Mr. Popo was watering his pot when Alucard and Fluttershy reappeared. This time though, Fluttershy was now wearing an copy of Alucard's outfit and stood on her hind legs instead of all four. All shyness were replaced with pure awesomeness and badassery based on the grin she was giving him. "I notice a huge change in her."
"Oh trust me, this is all her. The LSD wore out five minutes ago. Okay, you know what to do." Fluttershy nodded and disappeared in a swirl of demonic looking butterflies. "Dude, get your tv. This is gonna get awesome..."
Fluttershy soon appeared back at the spot before Mr. Popo took her away. She notice a note on her door.
Fluttershy, get over to Canterlot! Princess Celestia summoned us!
-Twilight
"My first mission. Things are going to be fun! But first..." Fluttershy knocked on her own door of her cottage. The door opened and revealed Angel. Before the bunny could do anything, Fluttershy kicked the shit out of him, sending him crashing onto the wall across of them! "Heh, I always wanted to do that." And with that, she trotted- no, WALKED to her destination, Canterlot.
Fluttershy's new digs was quickly noted by all the ponies, and a couple of changelings, who were in town today. Fluttershy could care less. She has far more important business to attend.
"BLANK FLANKS!"
Scratch that.
The Crimson Fucker's apprentice turned and saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon picking on the CMC in the park surrounded by school foals, all while the parents are ignoring them. Seriously, what kind of parents ignore their children while they're getting bullied? Kasey Anthony looks like parent of the year compare to these idiots. In fact, the only parent actually doing something was Derpy and her husband.
What was his name? Time Turner? Doctor Whooves? Who cares, Fluttershy is gonna do something about it.
Walking over to the group, she cleared her throat. "Hey pussies, how's your health insurance?" Tiara and Silver stopped their teasing and turned to Fluttershy.
"What?" They both asked before having their faces meeting the ends of Fluttershy's hooves.
"Apparently, it's great!" she yelled. The two bullies were sailing over the park until they crashed onto a tree, face first. This got the attention of everypony, including Filthy Rich.
"Hey, what did you do to my daughter!?!" He yelled. Fluttershy looked over to where Diamond Tiara was and saw her now disfigured face.
"I think I gave her a makeover. An improvement too." she chuckled.
"I'll sue you!" Threaten Filthy.
"No you won't." Fluttershy's eyes turned red and looked straight at the pompous pony. This cause the stallion to freeze and become zombie like. "You will not sue."
"I will not sue." repeated Filthy.
"You are a prick."
"I am a prick."
"Now tell me your secret."
"I love Twilight."
"Really? I didn't know you like her?"
"The movie."
"Gay! Buck off!" Fluttershy pulled out her pistols and blasted Filthy to smithereens, shocking everypony in the vicinity. She then holster her pistols and walked away, before being stopped by Derpy.
"Fluttershy! What happened to you?" Fluttershy turned and smiled.
"I used to be a shy timid mare who was an element of harmony. But now, you may refer to me as..."
(Present)
"FLUTTERSHY, THE CRIMSON BUCKER!" the once timid mare shouted before giving a laugh that resembles Alucard's. This cause everyone except Nappa to hang their jaws. Nappa on the other hand was clapping.
"That was the best thing I ever heard! Hey Fluttershy, wanna head to the Crystal Empire and messed with Chrysalis's ex?"
"Bitchin!" She replied before the two disappeared. The rest turned to Celestia and Chrysalis for answers.
"Just go before I get an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity." said Chrysalis. The main six (five) nodded and left. Chrysalis rubbed her temples before looking down and saw a magazine that said Vogue and had Nappa on the front page.
"God damn it, Nappa."
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
"Beautiful day, isn't it?" said Nappa. He and Fluttershy were currently trudging over some heavy snow in order to reach the Crystal Empire.
"Yeah, a perfect day for a walk," agreed Fluttershy.
"Um, not to ruin your mood, but HOW IS ANY OF THIS BEAUTIFUL?!?" shouted Twilight over the harsh conditions of the blazing winter storm. The group had barely managed to survive thanks to Shining Armor who met them halfway on their journey. Not from the weather, but from Nappa...
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"Faust damn it Nappa! We haven't left Canterlot! Shut up!" yelled Twilight.
"Sorry."
"Thank you."
And five seconds later...
"Are we there yet?"
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
This did not stop until they met up with Shining. The only ones who weren't affected by Nappa's pestering was Pinkie and Fluttershy because Pinkie is Pinkie and Fluttershy doesn't give a crap...
...unless it's Michael McDoesn't-exist, then that's a whole different story. If she manages to screw him over, Alucard will give her her very own 70inch plasma screen Tv with Netflix, but not in 3D because it is, and quoted by Alucard,
"It's a stupid fucking gimmick and everybody knows it!"
So true.
"Oh lighten up Twilight," said Fluttershy, "don't be such a fun Nazi."
"I have no idea what that means." said Twilight. "Anyways, we shouldn't let this snowstorm stop us! When have we ever faced an obstacle and suffered from it? And don't answer that Pinkie!" Pinkie closed her mouth before she could say anything. Suddenly, the sounds of hooves can be heard around them. The snowstorm died down a little, and what the group saw was at least thirteen black crystal ponies that seem to radiate hate and more hate. They all had swords and spears and seem to be ready to attack them.
"You are all fools," taunted a mysterious dark voice. There standing right in front of them was none other then the tyrant himself, King Sombra, standing all high and...
"BAW HA HA HA HA!" laughed Fluttershy. "He's so bucking short and fat! How are you so intimidating?" The rest of the group couldn't help but laugh as well. This was the so called tyrant? The same one who caused the curse of the Crystal Empire? What did Chrysalis see in this guy?
"Silence!" yelled Sombra. Apparently, despite his physical appearance, his voice sounded like a deep, sinister lord and manage to silence the crowd, minus Fluttershy who was still laughing. "I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. As you can see, you are surrounded be my thirteen elite..."
Boom
And then Nappa flicked his fingers up.
Chrysalis was busy looking at the Vogue magazine that was in front of her when a bright flash shone into the room. She looked out the window and saw a huge mushroom cloud over the horizon where the route to the Crystal Empire was located. She couldn't help but opened the window and yelled,
"SUCK IT SOMBRA!"
The smoke cleared and what Twilight, her friends and brother saw were ashes where the dark crystal guards once were. Nopony said anything for a while.
"sigh , I hate awkward silences," said Nappa. Sombra on the other hand (hoof?) had an expression that said one thing...
...if he doesn't get out of this, he's going to be deader than disco and the minds of Justin Beiber's fans combined.
"...dead guards," finished speaking the tyrant after seeing his soldiers killed by the bald bipedal creature with ease. "Damn, I honestly thought this will work."
"Aw, don't let it get to your head. The important thing is that you tried your best." assured Nappa. He then appeared in front of Sombra. "Well, it was nice knowing you. You could pray for help, but sadly for you, everybody important to you is dead."
"They've been dead for over a milleniu-"
"Everybody important," repeated Nappa. Sombra can only sigh in frustration. "Now then, NAPPA SMASH!" Nappa lifted his foot and brought it down with enough force to crack the ground. He then lifted his leg to see his work, only to discover that Sombra is not under there. "What the?! Where did he went?! Did he disappeared? Or..." he turned toward the audience (AKA You)
"...was he never there to begin with." The camera zooms in on Nappa as the color grayed amd ominous music played in the background. "Oh wait a minute, he's over there!" True enought, Sombra was now a couple feet away from them.
"Like Tartarus I'll let my flank get squashed by you!" yelled Sombra.
"Oh come on," said Twilight. "It's not like you can get any shorter."
"Says the mare who has social anxiety." Sombra said flatly.
"Hey! I got friends!" argued Twilight.
"Not according to your MyPony page," said Sombra as he made a laptop magically appear that showed Twilight's MyPony page.
"Damn it!"
Twilight Own Count: 9
"You still used MyPony?!" questioned her entire group of friends plus Shining and Spike (who was asleep the whole time on Rarity's flank.... you sneaky bastard). "Lame!"
"Aww ponyfeathers!"
Twilight Own Count: 10
"Let's see here," said Sombra as he checked Twilight's friends list. "You have Celestia, some doll name Smartypants, some guy name Tom, and Michael McDoesn't-exist."
"THE BUCK?!?" shouted Fluttershy. Meanwhile, a faint "THE FUCK?!?" can be heard far away.
"If that's not social anxiety, then I don't know what that is, sooooooo," Sombra then cast a spell to teleport out of there, while leaving a message on the ground that said, and if a certain changeling queen were to see it, she will get pissed,
I banged all of Chrysa-bitch's holes!
"Ooooooh, Chrysalis is going to be pissed," chanted Nappa.
"Sombra escaped, amd you know what that means," said Twilight.
"Yeah," spoke Spike. "Time for you to get a PonyBook account."
"Bitch please, it's all about Insta-mare," scoffed Fluttershy with Nappa nodding with agreement. "Everypony's using it."
"Ugh," groaned Twilight. "When did my life get so complicated?"
"Weeeeelllllllllll..."
"Don't...answer....that....Pinkie."
Sombra appeared at his castle going over plans to take down the mares and bipedal freak. "I need some help, but who?"
"I can help you," said a voice. Sombra turned and saw a man wearing the same armor Nappa wore but had hair unlike Nappa on his head.
"Who are you?" asked Sombra.
"Since I'm the only one of my kind in this place, I am the strongest warrior known to what ever you are. I am Raditz, the only person ever to survive hell by punching Yemma's little birdie. I can take on anything!"
Popo and Alucard looked at each other after seeing Raditz appear on Tv. "Dude," said Alucard.
"Yeah?"
"Go make some toast and grabbed a couple of beers. This is going to be fucking hilarious!"
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
After many hours of traveling through the harsh winter and Nappa's annoyances, the group finally made it to the Crystal Empire. "Wow, there's more Crystal here than a drug lab," mused Nappa.
"I'm going to ignore that," said Twilight. "Anyways, we should look at the tower where the crystal heart is located."
"You do that. I have to go back to the Crystal castle and speak with Cadence. Stay safe," said Shining before leaving toward the castle.
"Alright girls, you know the drill! We find any clues about the Crystal heart in that tower. If you find anything, report it to me, got it?" commanded Twilight.
"Um..."
"Fluttershy and Nappa left, did they?"
"Fluttershy said something about a walk," said Rarity. The rest of the mares and dragon nodded to this. Twilight sighed but decided to leave them be.
"Just forget them, it's not like they can do a lot of damage right?"
Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang...!
Nappa Smash!
"Aaaaaannnnnnd I jinxed it, didn't I?" said Twilight with a straight face.
"Big time," said the mares and dragon.
Twilight Own Count: 11
The mane five and Spike walked toward the tower, only to see that there was a shit ton of stairs leading it. Rainbow then notice a sign nearby. "Hey Twilight?"
"Not now, we got a Crystal heart to located!" shouted Twilight as she started running up the stairs. The rest were about to follow but Rainbow stopped them.
"What's the big idea?!" asked Applejack. Rainbow simply pointed her hoof toward the sign near them. The group saw it, read it, then face-hoofed. The signs says,
The Crystal heart was given to Chrysalis of the changelings after recents events with Sombra caused the bug to drain all of her love. To find the heart, ask the queen
"Well, go figure," stated Spike. "HEY TWILIGHT!"
"CAN'T TALK!" shouted back Twilight. "ALMOST REACHING THE TOP! JUST NEED A LITTLE MORE- OH FAUST I TRIPPED ON A ROCK!" The sounds of pain can be heard as Twilight started falling down the stairs from top to bottom. The group couldn't help but muse at each flight Twilight fell down. This continued for a few moments until Twilight reached the ground, looking all worn out.
"Owwww," was the noise she made.
Twilight Own Count: 12
"Twilight, the heart ain't up there according to the sign," said Applejack, pointing at said sign. Twilight looked where Applejack was pointing, read it, then groaned.
"Let's just go to the castle."
The group walked toward the castle where Shining and Cadence were at. When they entered the courtroom, they saw not only Shining and his wife, but also Chrysalis and Luna. "Princess Luna! Chrysalis! What are you two doing here?" asked Pinkie.
"Well, I just remembered that Sombra gave me the Crystal heart after my love was drained from the, ahem, nightly activities." explained Chrysalis with a small green blush.
"And I here because Celestia is doing something to Discord in which I want no part of," explained Luna.
"Doing what?" asked Twilight.
Discord was tied to the posts of a large white bed. In front of him was Celestia, who was no longer wearing the maid outfit but was wearing something even more revealing. That something? Socks. Pink, cottony socks. She had an crazed look on her face that told Discord that she was about to do something crazy. "Celestia! You don't have to do this!"
"Oh yes I can!" yelled Celestia. "You know how it feels to be over a thousand years and still be a virgin?!? Chrysalis lost hers to Sombra, Cadence to Shining! Heck, I even found out that Luna lost hers during her banishment to some guy who claims to be a 'fuck mothering vampire'! Well not anymore!"
"So we just do it and you'll be happy, right?" said Discord, sweating at an alarming rate. He sweated even faster when he saw Celestia grinned evilly.
"Oh, I'm not stopping there. I want to go even further than that!"
"What could you want after losing your V-card?!?" shouted Discord. Celestia moved closer to the chaos god and whispered to his ear,
"I...want...foals."
It was at that moment that Discord realize that Celestia had just made him her bitch.
"You do not want to know," shuddered Luna. Suddenly, she heard voices outside the courtroom. The rest quieted down to listen as well.
"What- what do you mean you forgot the song?"
"Hey, I had no bits and Space Amazon don't work here."
"Okay, screw, screw it, no screw it, screw it! Just take my phone and hit random."
"When did you get a phone?"
"Just hit random! Okay, one, two, three, GO!" The doors opened and walked in Fluttershy and Nappa while the song "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks played. "Okay turn it off, turn it off! It did not work, it did not work."
"About time you got here," spoke Twilight. "What took you so long?"
"Oh you know, just took an enthusiastic walk," said Fluttershy.
"Which resulted in many crystal ponies in the hospital."
"VERY enthusiastic walks indeed." smiled Fluttershy. At that moment, the doors were destroyed and entered Sombra and Raditz.
"Sup bitches!" greeted Sombra.
"How in Tartarus did they get in?!?" yelled Cadence. "We had over a hundred guards!"
"Wait, those were ours?" asked Fluttershy. "I mean- oh no, how did they get past the guards."
"Wait a minute- Raditz is your help?! Bwa ha ha ha ha!" laughed Nappa when he saw Raditz. Said saiyan who was as strong as a saibamen did not took the laugh very well.
"Hey! Don't laugh at me! Have you forgotten a little detail from the saiyan handbook?"
"Honestly, I never read it. I kept it as emergency toilet paper," mused Nappa.
"It states," spoke Raditz, "that a Saiyan will get a immense power gain from near death."
"But Raditz, you didn't get near death. You actually died!" pointed out Nappa. Raditz's eyes widen when he realized this.
"Aw, crab baskets!"
"Now, Imma firing my- BWRAR!" shouted Nappa before his face was replace by a crudely drawn mouth that fired a laser from its mouth.
"Oh come on! That joke's already been done!" shouted Pinkie as Raditz was hit from the laser, burning his skin. He then dropped to the ground. "You know, you could've just, geez I don't know, DOOOOOOOODDDDDDDGGGGGGEEEEEE!" said Pinkie.
Raditz did not thought this through. "Damn you hindsight-Bleh!" he shouted before falling dead.
"Wow, is it weird for me to say I saw this coming?" said Sombra.
"Not really," answered everypony, plus Nappa.
"In that case, PREPARE YOURSELF FOR I, THE CRYSTAL FUCKER-!!!"
"Okay, what the fuck?" shouted Alucard as he phased through a wall, shocking the occupants. "Why the hell are you stealing my title?!?"
"I'm the king here! I get what i want! Not a stupid looking monkey."
"Bitch, I'm the fuck-mothering vampire! I killed a lot of people to get that title, so I am to be called such." said Alucard.
"Please, compare to you, I am a demi-god!" shouted Sombra.
"Really? Really."
"Really."
"Really?"
"Really!"
"Really."
"Really!!"
"Releasing Restraint, Level one." said Alucard as he did his, whatever that is.
"Leve what?" asked Sombra before being eaten alived by Baskerville. This was the last time anybody will see the self centered tyrant.
"Aaaaaaaannd, I win," smirked Alucard before leaving to go back to the hideout and watch on Popo's seventy-ONE inch Plasma screen TV. Normally, in under normal circumstances, this would have freak out the girls, but recent events shows that unfortunately, they expected this to happen. Still, Twilight did not approved of Alucard's behavior.
"If you were to learn a little friendship, you could have avoid eating Sombra," muttered Twilight. Alucard stopped midstep and spoke.
"Okay, one, he had it coming for stealing my title."
"Okay, then what's the second?"
"BITCH, I EAT PEOPLE!"
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
A real f****** vampony!
(Somewhat during season 3)
"Thanks Zecora for the training! Now I will be able to stop Trixie!" shouted Twilight as she ran toward to the village as fast as she can. "Gotta keeping going! At this this pace, I won't be able to...stop....Trixie." Twilight slowed her pace when Ponyville came into her sight, only without the dome... and even shittier looking than before. "What in Faust happen?" she asked herself. She trotted over to the town center, where she saw her friends and Trixie and Nappa... surrounded by injured solar guards? Pinkie saw her and waved.
"Hiya Twilight!" she yelled.
"Girls! What going on? What happen to the dome? The alicorn amulet? The injured guards? The-" she said frantically until Rarity cut her off.
"Darling, you must calm yourself. It was Fluttershy and Nappa who-"
"Oh my Faust, what did they do this time?" Twilight asked agitated.
"Something," the said duo replied. Twilight turned to them and notice that Fluttershy now looks like a vampony!
"Fluttershy! When did you turned into.... that!"
"Well, me and Nappa were just chillin, minding our business-"
"That's complete manure and you know it!" argued Twilight.
"But we were!" whined Nappa. "You see, it started after you were banished...FLASHBACK MODE!"
(Flashback)
The remnants of the mane six can only stare in sadness as they saw Twilight trotting away with her head down. Trixie cackled, seeing her rival finally gone. "Finally, the great and powerful Trixie have defeated the imbecile Twilight Sparkle! What do you peons have to say for yourself?"
"Devil!"
"No good varmit!"
"Not cool!"
"Meany Mcmean-pants!"
"About time!" said Fluttershy, causing everypony to look at her.
"Wait, what?" said Trixie, confused. "Don't you love Twilight?"
"I do, but lately she's been acting like a fun Nazi. Kind of killng the mood whenever I'm doing something cool."
"Wow, that um, kinda throws Trixie off. Trixie expected you to beg for mercy."
"Bitch, please! That's Rarity's job."
"Hey!"
"Now do me a solid... turn me into a vampony," asked Fluttershy, shocking everypony (minus Nappa).
"What! Why!?" asked Trixie.
"Because," explained Fluttershy, terribly. Trixie blinked before sighing and casting a spell on the formerly shy pegasus. The result was as anticipated... a vampony Fluttershy, which is weird since Bats!!!
"It's a fanfic, lay it off!" shouted Pinkie, much to the ponies confusion. They shook their heads and consider it as typical Pinkie business. Fluttershy looked over herself and let out an Alucard style laughter.
"And what happen after that?" asked Twilight.
"It was then that Trixie said something that demanded my attention,"
"Alright you simpletons, move along and go to your Celestial church and pray for her. Trixie got more important things to do," ordered Trixie. Many of the ponies gasped at the disrespect Trixie gave to the Celestial religion.
"Such disrespect!," said Rarity. The Trixie turned to the fashionista and glared.
"Oh please, Trixie follows the Lunar Protestant. I follow Luna!"
"You too!?" shouted both Nappa and Fluttershy.
"Yeah?" answered Trixie.
"You know what?", said Nappa. "Looks like we're gonna have a beautiful friendship. I can already see us egging the Celestial church."
"Speaking of Church," said Fluttershy. "Hey, tiny lizard! Take a letter."
"To who?" the dragon asked.
"To Celestia..."
"And that's when things got down," said Rainbow Dash.
"How can things get down!?! Fluttershy just admitted about not following Celestia!" yelled Twilight.
"How about the fact that she just send a death threat?" spoke Applejack. Everything stopped in Twilight's mind upon hearing those words.
"She...did....WHAT?!?!" she said with lots of anger.
"Sent a death threat. I even have a copy here," repeated Applejack as she pulled out a letter. "It said, and quote,
Dear solar faliure,
I want send this friendly letter to inform you of your imminent demise. If you're wondering about the frequency of which I sent the letters, (which was probably since the 90s) it is to instill as much fear as I can. As if basting a turkey, but since I'm a mare, I'm the turkey, and I'm receiving the bastor, who is actually Big Mac if you're wondering. Heck, if I want, I can make Rainbow Dash the turkey and me the bastor. That's right, I'm eithing being bucked by the bastor, or I'm bucking the fear turkey! Follow me on Tweeter @TheCrimsonBuckr.
Sincerely, Fluttershy." finished Applejack, disturbed about the turkey part and her brother.
"I'm a little embarrass about that Fluttershy is willing to be bucked by Applejack's brother, or that she will not hesitate to buck me," said Rainbow, blushing up a storm.
"What...else?" said Twilight, gritting her teeth.
"Well, Celestia must have reacted to it because no sooner and later, the dome hovering over Ponyville was destroyed and Solar guards came running in." continued Rarity.
There was a huge magical surge and the dome suddenly disappeared. Within seconds, a large group of Solar guards surrounded Fluttershy. Fluttershy turned toward Trixie. "You think they read the letter?" she whispered.
"Trixie thinks so," Trixie whispered back.
"Get on your hooves!" shouted one of the guards.
"And then she replied..."
"Something you failed on getting your marefriend to do!" mocked Fluttershy.
"They took serious exception to that," said Fluttershy.
The guard shouted as he and his colleagues started throwing spears, swords, and spells toward Fluttershy, who simply at all this laughed.
"And then I shot them," said Fluttershy.
"Is that why the guards are on the ground?" asked Twilight.
"Yeah."
"Ugh, you know what, I had a long day. I'm just gonna hit the theaters and watch one of Mareyer's books into films." she said before trotting. Everypony stayed quiet before realizing what she just said.
"Did she just say?" asked Pinkie.
"She did," agreed Rarity. She looked at Fluttershy and said, "Dear, can you do us a favor?"
Twilght sat in the front of the theater surrounded by other fans of the series, mostly teenage mares. The screen was showing a pale looking stallion showing the expressionless mare to his family. "As long as you're with us, you are family, Bella," said the vampony wanna-be. The door to the home was knocked. The vampony family were confused since they didn't expect any visitors. The pale stallion trotted toward the door. "Who is it," asked the pony.
"Oh, you know..." Suddenly, a barrage of bullets flew all over the family. The bullets piece their pathetic glittering skin, causing blood to go ape-shit. This continued for a few minutes before the barrage ended, showing them a disfigured family. "...a real bucking vampony!"
There were many protests in the cinema, none more irritated then Twilight. She just found out that Fluttershy just ruin the series of her favorite book. "Damn it Fluttershy! I paid 25 bits to watch it in 3D!"
"Don't care!"
Twilight Own Count: 13
View Online
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
What really happen to the cutie mark switch...
Author's Note
I'm going to be honest, I never seen Magical Mystery Cure, so I have no idea how the episode went. So I'm guessing base from MLP wiki. Sorry for the inconvenience...
What really happen to the cutie mark switch...
(Sometime near the end of season three)
It was dark and all of Ponyville is asleep. Suddenly, Mr. Popo appeared in the middle of the town along with Alucard. "So, how much you wanna bet?" he said.
"Hundred says she starts having a mental break down and repeats the Smartypants incident." betted Alucard.
"And I bet a hundred that she'll pussy out like a bitch and cry on her bed."
"You're on!" shouted Alucard.
"Very well then. POPO!" Five large black poofs can be seen from Rarity's, Applejack's, Rainbow's, Pinkie's, and Fluttershy's places. "And now, we wait."
"Spike! I'm heading out for the moment, so keep an eye on the library! Also if Nappa comes, tell him for the last time, we do not have books on fraggles. I still don't know what a saibamen is!"
"Can do, slave driver," mockingly saluted Spike.
"What?!"
"Nothing!"
"Thought so," said Twilight as she stepped out....and was met with the barrel of one of Fluttershy's pistols. "Fluttershy! What in Tartarus are you doing!"
"What the Tartarus did you do!?!" yelled Fluttershy. Beside her was Pinkie Pie, not looking amused.
"Tell the truth Twilight, we know you did it," she said. Twilight was about to answer until she heard snickering. She turned and saw Alucard and Mr. Popo sitting on lawn chairs, smoking pot and drinking TeamFourStar soda. Immediately, she knew something was up whenever these two are involved.
"What are you laughing at! Did you two did something?" she demanded.
"Bitch please, if I had something to do with whatever you're thinking, I would had this place erase within a flick of my power," lied Mr. Popo.
"Prove it," said Twilight.
"Nobody's dead, right?" answered Alucard. Twilight thought of this and realize that if Mr. Popo and Alucard had something to do with, whatever's going on, there would have been dead bodies.
"Good point," said Twilight, before turning to Fluttershy and Pinkie. "Alright, what's going on?"
"Look at my ass," said Fluttershy bluntly. Twilight rolled her eyes and looked at Fluttershy's flank, only to see Pinkie's cutie mark instead of her own. "Why do I have Pinkie's cutie mark and Pinkie's got Applejacks?"
"Wait, what?" Said Twilight. "Switched Cutie marks? How is this possible?"
"No idea," said Pinkie, though due to 4th wall powers, that's a lie. She damn well knows how and stayed silent. "Look behind me and what do you see?"
Twilight looked behind her and gasped at what she saw. For one thing, she saw Applejack actually carrying rolls of clothing and trotting toward Rarity's place. She has Rarity's cutie mark. She then sees Rarity trying to move the clouds with her magic despite the fact that it ain't doing squat. She has Rainbow's cutie mark. She then sees Rainbow trying to tame wild animals, only to receive scratch marks. She has Fluttershy's cutie mark. "Why are they acting like the switched cutie marks are their destiny even though they're failing miserably."
"No clue, so do us a favor and fix this!" shouted Fluttershy.
"Wait! I need to know how this happened!" said Twilight.
"Hey Twilight!" yelled a voice. The group turned and saw Trixie by the library's doorway, holding a scroll. "Trixie bets that it has something to do with this scroll."
"Where did you come from?" asked Twilight, not remembering letting Trixie sleeping in HER tree house.
"Spike let me sleep in the spare bedroom, but that's not important. Here." Trixie tossed the scroll to Twilight, who caught it and opened it. If the bookmare were to pay attention to her surroundings, she would have notice Mr. Popo, Alucard, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Trixie snickering. She read the scroll and gasped.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
This scroll contains Starswirl's last and unfinished spell. Finish it if you want, but once you read it, the spell will activate and does something random. What is it, you may ask? I have no bucking clue. The old timer was always rambling about lot's of things, something about homestuck and tacos. Weird part is that he knows about winter wrap-up and friendship. Anyways, good luck!
Your mentor, Celestia.
P.S. Have you seen Luna and Chrysalis? Last I remember was that they told me they were heading to Brazil, where that is. Somehing about stealing the 'Redeemer?'
"Holy black on a Popo!" shouted Twilight.
"Huh?" went Mr. Popo.
"I've cause this mess!"
Twilight Own Count: 14
"And now you're going to fix it. So tell us, Miss 'I can do anything for Princess sunbutt', how are you going to do this?" asked Fluttershy.
"Luckily, I came prepared," answered Twilight. She pulled out a piece of paper and waved it to Fluttershy. "After the whole 'Trixie/Amulet' fiasco, I posted a ad online, and on this paper shows a organization of mercenaries willing to help me." Fluttershy grabbed the paper and read it.
"The Lula's Moon?"
"Exactly!"
"Well, good luck wi- hey wait a minute! It says here these guys are Prench!"
"Well," sheepishly said Twilight, "I have to post mortality rates, including chances of living if Popo's involved."
"We're scraping the bottom of the barrel here, aren't we?" said Fluttershy.
"Yeah, so tell me, when do they arrive?" asked Twilight.
"Uh, now. In fact, there's only one member: Trixie Lulamoon." answered Fluttershy. Twilight's eyes widen and turned to the mercenary/magician.
"Yeah, long story, but there were more members until Trixie couldn't pay them." said Trixie.
"Well then," said Twilight. "There's only thing to do." She turned and went inside the library. There was silence for a minute until....
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Twilight Own Count: 15
"Damn it!" shouted Alucard as he handed the money to Mr. Popo. "I lost!"
"Sooooo," said Trixie, trying to start conversation, "What now?"
"I'll tell what now," said Mr. Popo as he suddenly made a toaster appeared. "We're gonna make toast!"
View Online
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
Uptown, Uptown, Uptown funk you- stick to the script!
(One hour later)
After pussying out like a bitch, Twilight manage to snapped out of her, ahem, episode and gather all of her friends. "Alright girls, listen up and listen real good. Your cutie mark has been switched and the three of you haven't notice it."
"What are ya talking about?" said Applejack. "What do you mean three?"
"Pinkie and Fluttershy are immune for reasons I cannot explain, though Pinkie mentioned something about 'fanfic'. Anyways, I think I figure out a way to reverse this process. In order for it to work, we need to sing!"
"Seriously?" questioned Fluttershy. "I don't have time for this. I got better things to do."
"Things? You don't do things." flatly said Twilight.
"Of course I do things! I take enthusiastic walks."
"Those don't count, so stay here and sing with us!"
"Aw, come on!"
"Ah ah ah, none of that sass."
"Yes, Mom " sarcastically replied Fluttershy.
"Thank you," said Twilight. She then turned to Rainbow Dash. "Whenever you are ready." Rainbow nodded and started her musical intro.
Rainbow: These animals don't listen, no, like a witch! They run around crazy, like a bitch!
Fluttershy: Someone's got to stop them, you can damn well see! It's gonna be Rainbow cause it ain't gonna be me!
I have to keep them laughing, put a smile on their faces. Instead, they only cry whenever I hit them with my maces! I don't know why, this seems harder. Twilight, be a sport and grab me some cider.
Pinkie: Uptown, Uptown, Uptown funk you up! Uptown, Uptown, Uptown funk you up!"
"Wrong song Pinkie! Stick to the script!" scolded Twilight.
"Come on Twilight! You and I both know that songs are just a waste of time that adds to whatever problems we have. Remember Winter Wrap-up? If we never sang that song, we could've been done!"
"Wasn't it Twilight's fault since she used magic even though we specifically told her not to?" asked Rainbow.
"Oh yeah. Unfortunately, this fic didn't have a chapter on it. You know what, Twilight should get a own point just for mentioning that."
Twilight Own Count: 16
"What in Faust's name are you talking about!?!" yelled Twilight.
"Stuff." said Pinkie. Twilight finally had enough.
"That's it!," she yelled, "I had enough of all this pointless events. Tell me, what the Tartarus are you talking about?!?"
"What are you gonna do," mocked Fluttershy. "Hit us with magic?"
"Magic. That's it!" Twilight's horn glowed and showered her friends in a purple glow. It died out and...you know what, it's obvious what happened.
"You did it Twi!" said Rainbow.
"Oh my heavens, I can finally do dresses!"
"Yup, everything's back to-" and then Twilight disappeared.
Twilight soon appeared in front of the royal princesses, Chrysalis, and Discord. Celestia then spoke,"Congratulations, Twilight Sparkle for completing Starswirl's final spell."
"Egad! Was this some kind of test?"
"Actually, it was Celestia's homework that was a couple centuries late, but yeah, lets go with that," said Chrysalis.
"Wait, homework?"
"You have proved to me that you are well above an archmage," said Celestia, trying to change the subject. "Your reward is Princesshood!"
"Really!?!"
"Well, we were supposed to give you a 70in plasma TV, but somepony stole it, left a note that said 'Buck the guards!' and tilted every painting in the entire castle," said Discord.
"Going through the hallways was a major headache," said Luna. Twilight was shocked however.
"Wait, I could've gotten a flatscreen!?!"
"Yeah, but not anymore." said Celestia, regrettably. Twilight stayed silent, but had a distinct feeling a certain vampony was behind this.
'Fluttershy, I will kick your flank for stealing my plasma TV.'
"So, in other words, EVOLVING!" A blast of magic hit Twilight in the face. She was covered in magic and was turned into a Alicorn.
"This is awesome!" gleefully said Twilight. "I'm a princess now! I never felt so happy!"
"Shame I ruining it for you," said Mr. Popo, appearing out of nowhere. Twilight eeped when she saw him.
"What are you doing here?!?"
"Your initiation," he replied, tossing a piece of clothing in front of the new princess. Twilight looked at the clothing and gasped. It was a purple maid outfit. This can only mean one thing. "Twilight Sparkle, you are now officially my bitch! As part of your initiation, I will now go over the pecking order. There's you, the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, Fluttershy, and Popo. Got that?"
"Wait, when did Fluttershy get a posi-"
"And now, let's begin your training," said Mr. Popo, giving his patented, 'Bitch please,' smiles. Twilight hunged her head and thought,
'Why couldn't you leave the TV alone, Fluttershy?'
Twilight Own Count: 17
"Oh, before I forget," said Celestia, turning toward Discord. "Discord, honey, I'm pregnant!" Everyone was wide eyed hearing, no so like Discord. He could only say one thing,
"Ah, crabbaskets!"
Celestia turned toward her former student. "Twilight, I want you to be my foal's godmother."
"DONE!!!" agreed Twilight without hesitation. Inside her mind, 'Oh my Faust, Oh my Faust, Oh my Faust! I'm going to be Godmother to Celestia's foal! Screw being Princess! This just made my day!'
Unfortunately for Twilight, somepony's about to ruin it. Who, you may ask? Watch Equestria Girls, you'll understand.
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
A very Hearth Warming Eve special
(The future...P.S. this is irrelevant to the story)
Once upon a time, there was a giant castle in Canterlot, near Equestria. There lived mother pony and her serv-er, little ponies. Unnoticed to them, a magical being was safely descending upon the roof of the castle. Inside the castle was the entire family eating at the dinner room. Sitting at one side was the Apple family, which consists of Applejack and Caramel along with their daughter, Red Sweets, a earth filly with a red coat and brown mane. Next to that family was the Pie family, which consists of Pinkie Pie and Cheese sandwich, along with their Alicorn daughter (for reasons nopony knows how it is possible to two earth ponies) Surprise, who is named and looks like her great x100 grandmother. Across to them was Shining Armor, his wife Cadence, and his other wife Chrysalis (Long story, but Mr. Popo legally married them just for a cruel joke) along with their son Presto, a blue coat pink mane alicorn through Cadence, and second son Kichi, the first ever white changeling with a blue mane through Chrysalis. Next to them was Rarity, who unfortunately didn't married. Next to her was Twilight Sparkle along with her husband Flash Senstry and second wife, Sunset Shimmer (once again, Popo was involved, but Twilight wouldn't dare confront him). Their first foal was a orange colt with a violet mane named Azure through Twilight. The second was a yellow filly with a red and blue mane named Sunny Flash, through Sunset. And finally, their last child was a purple filly with a red mane named Aurora Glimmer, through both Twilight AND Sunset. How's this possible? One word. Magic. THE END. And lastly, the royal family, Celestia, Discord, and their hybrid twin daughters, Pan and Dora. They were all enjoying their meals until...
BANG!
"The heck was that!" shouted Twilight as she got up from her seat and dashed toward the sound, leaving behind the surprise, and scared family. She dashed and jump, frickle and frockle, and kept going until she realized she is an Alicorn and could just teleport. She concentrated her magic until she appeared in a red room. "Are we under attacked?! Status report, status report!" Twilight then noticed Fluttershy sitting on a comfy chair holding a pistol. On her feet was a dead stallion dressed in a red coat.
Fluttershy then spoke. "Before you start..." Unfortunately for her, Twilight had indeed started.
"Celestia bucking Christ!" she shouted.
"Okay, before you start-"
"Holy manure!"
"Would you care for me to explain?" said Fluttershy sarcastically. Twilight obviously wanted an explanation.
"Of course Fluttershy! I love to know why you shot and killed Santa Hooves?!?"
"He startled me," explained the vampony as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Twilight had her mouth hanging upon hearing those words.
"What!" she asked.
"He...startled...me," repeated Fluttershy. "I was just coming in to get a drink of booze after screwing both Rainbow and Mac when this guy came out of nowhere and said 'Ho ho ho.' I may have took exception to that and shot him point blank in the head."
"Well I guess he should apologize then," sarcastically suggested Twilight. Fluttershy, oblivious to the Alicorn's sarcasm, thought she was serious.
"Well, that's going to be a problem since I shot him," she said, poking Santa Hooves with the barrel of her gun.
"What are you going to do Fluttershy!?" demanded Twilight. "Tell me, how are you going to explain to all the foals out there that you shot Santa!?" Fluttershy looked deep into thought until she thought of an brilliant idea.
"Well, looks like I'm gonna have to save Hearth's Warming Eve." she said as she approached the dead stallion.
"What?!" shouted Twilight.
"There's no any other options," said Fluttershy as she removed the bloody red coat.
"How about any other options?" Said Twilight, trying to keep Fluttershy from actually being the next Santa Hooves.
"You wanna tell the foals that Hearth's Warming is cancelled forever?"
"What, Tartarus no! That's not what I was thinking!" shouted Twilight, but Fluttershy was already in the zone.
"Well, no use in stopping me Twilight because things are about to get down," smugly said Fluttershy with a fanged grin. Twilight sighed and was about to give up until she realized something.
"You planned this."
"What?"
"You planned this whole thing!" accused Twilight.
"You obviously don't have faith in me," said Fluttershy with hurt in her voice. It was then that Nappa and Luna came crashing in through the door, dressed as elves.
"Fluttershy! The sleigh has been secured!" reported Luna.
"Unfortunately, Rudolph died when I tried to pinch his nose, so we're goona need-" said Nappa before he saw Twilight in front of them. "Hi." Twilight's eye twitched seeing all of this. Fluttershy decided to steer the conversation from the current topic, only to fail miserably.
"You won't believe how cheap those elf costumes cost," she said, pointing her hoof to the duo.
"Grrr," growled Twilight.
"I stole them."
"Flutter-"
"Bitch, let me have my Nightmare before Hearth's Warming Eve!" shouted Fluttershy before grabbing Luna and Nappa and got the hell out of there. Twilight nearly exploded when she saw out the window and saw Fluttershy flying the sleigh along with the other two, laughing along the way.
And so, Santa shy and her helpers flew all around the world to deliver presents to the foals until she got bored and decided to visit Mr. Popo and Alucard for their Christmas party.
The diner table was quiet for a while until Twilight came back in. "Momma, what happened?" asked her daughter, Aurora.
"Fluttershy happened," answered Twilight.
"Oh my Faust, what did Aunt Fluttershy do this time?"
"She killed Santa Hooves." flatly said Twilight.
"WHAT!?!" shouted everypony.
"And is planning on saving Hearth's Warming Eve by being the next Santa Hooves."
"WHAT!?!" Again shouted everypony until they heard laughter and looked out the window. No surprise, they saw Fluttershy out there, laughing and giving them all a bastard grin by the moon.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Merry Hearth's Warming Eve!"
Author's Note
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
(Somewhere around midnight)
Sunset Shimmer carefully maneuver her way across the bedroom in order grabbed the crown so she can get revenge against Celestia. As she did this, she ponder why the guards weren't posted in this room. Is it because they were confident that Twilight could handle herself? What Sunset didn't know is that Mr. Popo is actually in the room, blending in with the shadows. The reason is so he can wake up Twilight for her daily dose of training. Sunset made it across the room and stood in front of the crown, which is the element of magic, and grabbed it. Her small celebration was cut short when Popo made himself known. "Alright you useless maggot, what are you doing stealing ma' bling," he said, startling Sunset.
"None of your business!" she snarled, making a break for it. She didn't went far because Popo appeared right in front of her.
"Oh, hell no. You did not just tried to diss the Popo! For that, I'm gonna open a can of whoop-ass on you." threatened the genie.
"You don't scare me!" boasted Sunset.
"Well, in that case I'm going to open a barrel of whoop-ass on you!" said Mr. Popo before disclosing the distance between him and Sunset in less than .0000001 second and bitch-slapped her with so much force, Sunset literally went straight through the third floor, through the second floor, the first floor, and toward the basement where coincidentally, she went straight to the mirror portal. Popo took a look at the result of his handiwork. "Oops, did I accidentally a movie?" he said while he did his signature laugh. Doing this resulted in Twilight waking up.
"Ugh, is it morning already?" she groaned.
"Bitch please, it's morning when I say it's morning!" scolded Mr. Popo. Twilight was about to rebuttal but suddenly realized that she was speaking to one of the three people who could destroy/humiliate her, with the other two being Nappa and Fluttershy. She decided to just get off her bed and start the day, but that was when she noticed that her crown is missing. "Hey, where's my crown?"
"Oh that, some useless maggot who questioned my authority stole it." explained Popo. Twilight's eyes widened when she heard this.
"What!?! That's means that whoever has it can literally destroy harmony!"
"Big whoop, I just want my bling back."
"There's no time to talk. I gotta round up the girls and- HOLY SWEET FAUST!!!" yelled Twilight as she got out of bed, only to coincidentally fall into the hole Mr. Popo made and felled toward the basement with a loud thud. "Ow, I think I broke my everything."
Twilight Own Count: 18
After using a spell to heal her body, Twilight had assembled all of her friends, Nappa, Celestia, and Chrysalis. Strangely, Spike wasn't there. "Everypony, we have a situation. Somepony stole my crown." Obviously, her friends and Celestia gasped, but not Nappa, Fluttershy, and Chrysalis, namely because they don't care.
"Big whoop," mocked Fluttershy. "Somepony stole your crown, whatever shall we do?"
"Simple, my plan was for me and Spike to go to the mirror portal and retrieve the crown." explained Twilight.
"Ah sense a but in there," said Applejack.
"Unfortunately, when I sent a letter to Spike back at Ponyville, he hasn't replied back."
"Spike is that purple lizard, right?" asked- no, said Popo since he gets what he wants. Twilight mere nodded. "Holy fuck! I accidentally got him so fucking high last night!"
"Wait, what?! How?!?!"
"Fluttershy here threw a huge ass party after I made you my new bitch. She gave some weed that was so fucking strong, I had a sudden relapse in life and started T-bagging every single maggot at the party. Speaking of which, Fluttershy, where in the dead zone did you get that shit?"
"You mean Poison Joke?" answered the vampony.
"Don't know what the fuck that is but I need some more!"
"That doesn't explained about Spike." said an irritated Twilight.
"Long story short, he took a whiff, grabbed that blue mare that lives with ya, and took her to the library." explained Mr. Popo. It didn't took a genius to realize what Spike had done.
"Holy ponyfeathers, Spike got laid!" shouted Rainbow Dash. Nappa got out a bottle of beer out of nowhere and hoisted it up.
"I declare a toast to Spike, who had became a man," he said before chugging the bottle. Twilight's eyes twitched when she realized this.
"Then who will go with me to the portal?" she asked the group.
"We volunteer!" shouted Fluttershy and Nappa.
"Heck No!"
"Heck yeah!" countered Popo. "I'll allow it."
"Fine, but Chrysalis comes with me."
"What?! Why?!" shouted Chrysalis.
"I need someone to keep me sane," explained Twilight. Chrysalis groaned before agreeing to join with Twilight and the two troublemakers. Before they all entered the mirror portal, Mr. Popo gave them a warning.
"I should probably tell you that I was high when I made the mirror, so there might be some chance that you'll be hallucinating in there."
"That doesn't sound so bad." said Twilight.
"Road trip!" shouted Nappa as he grabbed Twilight, Chrysalis, and Fluttershy and entered the portal. A few seconds barely pass before they met with some....serious shit .
"The buck is this! The buck is that! The buck are those!?" shouted Fluttershy as she saw all the crazy hallucinations that was happening so much, she could be tripping on every single drug combined and still wouldn't be this high. Of course Twilight ignored this, but Chrysalis was failing in that department, mainly because of the person near her.
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
Sunset Shimmer was currently being given medical assistance outside of Canterlot High by doctors while principal Celestia and vice principal Luna were worrying at the sidelines. Moments ago, Sunset flew out of the statue that was in front of the school and crashed into a wall, destroying 90% of her body. They were trying to figure out what caused this. At least, they were until,
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
Everyone within the area stopped what they were doing and listened carefully to the mysterious voices.
"Are we there yet?
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
The voices was getting louder, not to mention sounded like it was coming from the statue.
"Are we there yet?"
Silence.
"Yes."
Suddenly, a portal appeared on the school statue and out ejected this chapter's heroes (or anti-heroes for Nappa, Fluttershy, and Chrysalis). Nobody moved until one of them, a bald one to be exact, spoke.
"Yay!"
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
Every single person present at the moment stood at awe, except for Sunset who suddenly was foaming from too much painkillers. Four people just appeared out of a portal from the statue. Seriously, how often does one see this kind of shit?
There is an tall, muscular man who was bald. He has muscles where muscles shouldn't even exist! He was wearing some kind of armor. He was also, as one would say, "Bald and Sexy." Another was an tall, curvacious female who had black skin with blue-greenish hair. She was wearing a green dress that looks like it belongs on a queen. The third was an purple girl who for some strange reason was wearing a purple maid outfit. The last one was a yellow girl who radiates sheer awesomness and badassery. Not to mention wearing a red Victorian era outfit complete with vintage sunglasses and a hat and let's not forget she has fucking wings! There's something about this girl that just screams.... sexy. Overall, they were a mysterious group. One of the doctors that was attending Sunset spoke.
"So, um, are you guys aliens or-?"
BOOM!
For the second time he has done, Nappa perform his Volcanic Explosion, covering the entire area. When the explosion died down, to the shock of Twilight and Chrysalis, the school was still standing. Although, the surrounding area such as the houses, and also the city were entirely destroyed. "What the heck Nappa?!" shouted Twilight.
"What? I need to get their attention."
"How is it that the school is the only building within the mile radius still intact!? Everything else has been vaporize!" shouted Chrysalis. Nappa simply gave a chuckle.
"Silly Chrysalis, don't you know that education's an important part to a person's life? After all, I went to Saiyan University."
"Hold on, you went to college?" asked Chrysalis.
"Yup."
"What kind of class can someone like you possibly major in?!"
"Child Psychology, Chrysalis." answered Nappa as he took a few steps forward.
"Sounds lame," said Fluttershy.
"But a minor in PAIN!" shouted Nappa as he flew up to a random doctor and punch the shit out of him, sending the guy straight to the sky.
"I take back what I said, that sounds awesome!" said Fluttershy. She noticed Sunset Shimmer on the ground, covered in bandages. The vampony approached the girl, sending the doctors running in fear. In contrast of this, Celestia and Luna blocked her way.
"Hold on! I don't know what's going on, but I won't let you harm Sunset!" shouted Celestia.
"And how are you gonna stop me? Bitch at me?" mocked Fluttershy. She noticed that both Celestia and Luna are both fidgeting. "Oh shit, you really are gonna bitch at me!"
"Actually," countered Luna. "She is gonna do it." Luna sidestepped to the side and revealed the human version of Rainbow dash. Said athlete didn't look happy.
"Me bitching?! That's Rarity's job!" shouted Rainbow. Rainbow then looked at Fluttershy. "Um..."
"Sup," greeted Fluttershy before grabbing Rainbow's butt. For the first time in her entire life, Rainbow Dash, self-proclaimed daredevil, acted like the past Fluttershy.
"Eep!" went Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy removed her hand and looked at the two sisters. "Now, what are you gonna do next?"
"Uhh..." went Luna.
"We will fight you!" shouted Celestia. Fluttershy merely laughed.
"Ha! You know that would actually intimidate me if you were actually.....well, intimidating."
"Are you mocking us?!" snarled Luna.
"Oh no no no no no no no no no..... pfft, yeah!" and with that, Fluttershy pulled out her twin pistols and shot both Celestia and Luna on the legs. I'll leave the description to your imagination, but they'll live.
"Great, barely a minute and already you're causing trouble," muttered Twilight.
"It's what I do." said Fluttershy as she grabbed Sunset by the legs. She then check the thief's pockets, where she found the crown. "Found it!"
"Thank Faust!" said Chrysalis. Suddenly, Fluttershy's phone rang. Said vampony answered it.
"Uh-huh. Okay. I see. Hey Twilight, Celestia's on the phone!" she said, tossing her phone to the princess/element/maid/maggot. Twilight caught it and spoke,
"Twi-master speaking,"
"I WILL BUCKING SEND YOU TO MAGIC KINDERGARTEN!"
"Woah, hostile," mused Twilight. "The hormones must be kicking in. What's happening Celestia?"
"Twilight, I forgot to mention that the portal won't open in three days!" click.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but buck you Celestia," said Twilight, finally seeing the light of how Celestia puts her in these kinds of situation. "Looks like were stuck here for three days."
"You're serious," said Chrysalis, only to see a deadpanned stare from the maid. "Oh Faust, you're serious!"
"Hold on, hand me my phone," said Fluttershy. Twilight handed her the phone, who then proceed to call someone.
"Hello?" said Popo.
"Dude. Me and Nappa are stuck here with two maggots and the portal's closed. We already caused enough mayhem and frankly, I'm bored already. Send us home."
"Twilight manage to get my crown?"
"She didn't do squat!"
"Put me on speaker phone."
"Aye aye," said Fluttershy as she pushed a button and Popo's voice is heard.
"Twi-maggot! You had one job!"
"Sorry," apologized Twilight.
Twilight Own Count: 19
"Now to get you out of there. POPO!"
A portal appeared back at the statue. Chrysalis and Twilight didn't feel like questioning so they just grabbed Nappa, Fluttershy, and a comatose Sunset and entered the portal.
The gang reappeared back into their home dimension. Their in front of them stood their friends, Celestia, and Mr. Popo. "Oh thank Faust we're back!" shouted Chrysalis, tears of joy forming in her eyes. "Nappa wouldn't shut up!"
"Hey, I was bored!" rebuttal Nappa. Twilight got up from the ground and took out the crown.
"There we go, mission accomplished!" said Twilight, feeling good about herself.
"Congratulations," said Mr. Popo. "You completed your missions."
"Yup."
"But I'm afraid I have some bad news."
"Um, yeah?"
"You're going back."
"What?"
"Bye!" Twilight didn't had the chance to argue before Mr. Popo bitched slapped her back into the portal. Deja vu.
"Nooooooooooo!"
Twilight Own Count: 20
"Um, Mr. Popo? Why did you send Twilight back?" asked Celestia.
"Simple. The sirens." he said. Celestia gasped at this.
"The sirens?! The ones that Star Swirl banished? Allow me to go! I need to stop them!"
"Bitch please!" countered Popo. "I'll handle this." Without warning, Mr. Popo entered the portal, leaving behind a bunch of jaw hanging ponies.
(Omake)
Nappa is standing in the auditorium of Canterlot high. In front of him sat every single student. "Hello everyone, this is an important announcement from yours truly. I just want to say..." he said before appearing in front of random students. "The fucks with your hair (Pinkie Pie), your hair (Rarity), your hair (Rainbow), your hair (Celestia), I like you (Luna), your hair (Trixie), your hair (Sunset), your boobs (Fluttershy, who only smirk), your hair (Applejack), your personality (Chrysalis, who irked) and..." Nappa didn't finished because he saw the human versions of the CMC.
"Why did he stopped talking?" asked Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle just shrugged.
"Oh my god! The rare breeds of pokemon! The shiny Cutie Mark Crusaders! I got a couple of masterballs with your names on it!" said Nappa. Applebloom, after putting up with Applejack from the Nightmare thing, stood up.
"The fuck with this," she said before leaving the school.
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
Equestria Girls 2: The Reckoning
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!" Crash!
Twilight Own Count: 21
That was the noise that was made when Twilight came flying out of the portal and into the school walls, leaving an indent on it. Normally, the power from Mr. Popo's bitch-slapping technique would've kill any person (gods included), but due to the fact that Twilight had been bitch-slapped by Mr. Popo so many times from earlier encounters and her training, she grew some kind of a resistance to it, making her the first being ever to be able to withstand the power of a slap, unless you count Krillin, but he doesn't count at the moment.
The portal opened once more and Mr. Popo himself stood foward, appearance not even changed. Not like it matters since he was the one who created the Mirror Portal. "Alright maggot, get up. We got work to do."
"Why?" weakly said Twilight, still stuck on the wall.
"Sirens," answered Mr. Popo.
"WHAT?!" yelled Twilight as she got off from the wall and looked at her master. "You mean the same Sirens that Starswirl the Bearded banished long ago?!"
"Yeah, though they're all bitches, except for the one called Sonata Dusk. Anyone who likes the sweet delicacy of the mexican treat known as the Taco is a-OK in my book. Also she is my double agent, informing me of what the sirens are doing."
"No idea what a taco is, but something tells me not to ask what's in it." said Twilight.
"Alright," said Popo, giving Twilight one of his signature smiles. "Let's get to business."
"Wait, I wanna join too!" said a voice. The duo turned and saw Nappa coming out of the portal.
"Nappa?! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Fluttershy causing mayhem?" questioned Twilight.
"I was, but she said that 'Flank calls' and grabbed Rainbow Dash and disappeared. Said something about going to a farm with some big red guy." said Nappa. Twilight twitched and facepalmed.
"Why couldn't you keep it in your pants, Fluttershy."
Screaming, cursing, and chaos were some of the words that could describe what was happening in the auditorium. Nearly all of the students were all arguing with each other, either by verbal and/or physical assault. Up in the stage were Celestia, Luna (both having their missing legs replaced with a synthetic one), the human 5 (Since Sunset never returned), and the Sirens, with two of the latter having evil smirks on their grins. The only one who wasn't smirking was Sonata Dusk. She knew that Mr. Popo was here, since she was personally trained by him.
It was a funny story actually. You see, Sonata was never a siren to begin with. She was actually a... dun, dun, dun!!! ....a SAIYAN!!! That's right, Sonata Dusk is a Saiyan! A couple of centuries ago when she was just a baby, she was sent to earth in order to either destroy it or conquer it. She landed literally on Kami's lookout, right in front of Mr. Popo, who at the time was making some tacos. The small child came out of her space pod and threaten Mr. Popo to surrender. Mr. Popo was actually impressed by her threat and gave her a taco. Sonata ate it and that was when she fell in love with the mexican treat. She abandoned her mission and stayed at the lookout, scarfing down a lot of tacos. Over the years she was there, Mr. Popo trained her in the arts of the 'Bitch, I'm stronger than you ' style, making her the second strongest being in the planet, with the first tied between Mr. Popo and Alucard. Some time later, she pulled some kind of Deus Ex Machina and found herself with Adagio and Aria. She couldn't do anything until she could find a way back, so she joined with the two, and the rest is history.
Until now.
"Look at this. Chaos, fighting, and bitching. They're partying as if it's 1988!" said Popo, appearing behind the Dazzles. Adagio and Aria eeped, but Sonata kept her guard.
"Who the heck are you?!" shouted Adagio. Nappa stood forward and introduced the quad.
"I am Nappa, and the genie next to me is the one known as Mr. Popo. The purple one is Twilight Sparkle, she is a princess-"
"To quote from Chrysalis, SHUT UP NAPPA!" yelled Twilight.
"....bitch." said Nappa, causing Twilight to groaned.
"What are you here for? To defeat us?" mocked Aria.
"Yeah." answered the three.
"And how are you going to do that? We got every single person in our control!" sneered Adagio.
"Hey dude, you want me to take care of these mindless students? They remind me so much of Raditz, and that one bald midget on earth," asked Nappa to Mr. Popo.
"Knock yourself out," answered Mr. Popo.
"Dead or Alive?"
"Alive."
"Egos?"
"MAXIMUM DAMAGE!"
"YAY!" shouted Nappa as he start flying toward the audience, to the shock of both Adagio and Aria. "FOR PONY!"
Due to the fact that this is a T-rated fic, the following passage has been censored for your safety. The amount of pain and blood being spewed in the scene is so much, the author won't be able to write it in this chapter because it will be so-
BRRRRRUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!
....get out of here, Guru.
It's Super Kami Guru.
Back to the story...
"Oh....my....Faust," said both Adagio and Aria seeing the carnage Nappa is exerting to the crowd. Twilight, on the other hand, shook her head at Nappa's actions.
"Hey," said Mr. Popo, drawing the two siren's attention away from the destruction caused by Nappa. "Did you know that I had a spy here that I personally taught?"
"What?! Who?!" demanded Aria.
"Come forth.... Sonata," said Mr. Popo. Sonata suddenly appeared beside Popo, shocking the two sirens.
"Yes, Lord Popo?" said Sonata.
"What?! Sonata is your spy? But she's so... Sonata!" said a shocked Adagio.
"You never asked where I came from," mused Sonata. The two sirens growled at her.
"No matter, you were the weakest of the two of us." sneered Aria. To their shock, Sonata didn't flinch, but instead laughed. Laughed at their failed attempted to intimidate her.
"Am I?" smirked Sonata, before she went into a stance. "Let me show you how weak I am." She closed her eyes for a moment, before letting out a scream and powered up. (Replace Kibito with both Adagio and Aria. Then replace Gohan with Sonata. After that, just imagine that the transformation to Super Saiyan 2 is just Super Saiyan for Sonata, you know, for dramatic effect). A blue aura surrounded Sonata, becoming more visible as Sonata continues to power up. This continues until Sonata's eyes turned green and her hair turns yellow. Her aura becomes a color of golden with lightning surrounding her. It was without a doubt...
....Sonata is a Super Saiyan.
"Behold, I am a Super Saiyan!" shouted Sonata.
"What the heck?!" shouted Adagio. "Your power!"
"That's right."
"Your attitude!" shouted Aria.
"Yuppers."
"Your hair turned blonde!"
"Exactl- wait what?! What happen to my hair?!" frantically shouted Sonata.
"Er, it's yellow," answered Celestia from the sidelines.
"Oh my Faust!" yelled Sonata. "I'm turning into Lady Gaga!"
"Ouch." winced everyone. Sonata turned to Aria and Adagio with a pissed expression.
"You forced me to realized this!"
"WHAT?!" shouted both Adagio and Aria. Sonata then cupped her hands together and yelled,
"KAMEHAMEHA!" shouted the saiyan as a blue wave flew out of her hands and straight toward the two.
"Kame-what now-? OH SH-"
BOOM!
And then Adagio and Aria were defeated. The end. Don't ask, just roll with it. Popo commands you.
"And that's how real filler movies are done," said Mr. Popo. "Short and straight to the point." Nappa then reappeared beside him and Twilight. Twilight noticed that Nappa is bared of his armor, but didn't ask about it.
"Can we leave?" asked Twilight.
"Okay," answered Mr. Popo as he, Nappa, Twilight, and the newly recruited Sonata left the place, leaving behind a place that was so destroyed it puts any of Michael Bay's movies to shame.
"Nappa, what happen to your clothes." stated Chrysalis. Everypony had left after the whole siren fiasco thing, leaving behind she and Nappa.
"I had one hell of a day," answered Nappa. "We crashed a prom night (I think), and destroy some dreams."
"Explain on the last one."
"Let's just say it will be the party of the century." smirked Nappa. The scene changes to the aftermath in the human world in the school auditorium. Every single person was on the ground, bleeding, mangled in ways words cannot describe it. One of the victims, Vinyl Scratch, voiced for everyone's thoughts.
"BEST...PARTY....EVER!"
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
We've gotta hire a gardener
Author's Note
One of the readers asked if Sonata is in her human (saiyan) form, or pony form. For the sake of this story, let's just say she turned into a pony upon entering the mirror portal.
We've gotta hire a gardener
It has been about 9 months since the whole fiasco of the human realm, and frankly, Twilight was glad she got out of it. If she were to stay any longer, whichever companions she has would most likely caused more chaos. In the other news, Celestia is now 9 months pregnant and looks like she could pop any moment now. In other news, Sunset is now completely healed, but now developed a phobia to 'overpowered' beings, i.e. Popo. But now's not the time for that. Now is the time for action!
Twilight was currently going over the list for the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration. Last celebration was a complete disaster. From the returned of Nightmare Moon to the appearance of Mr. Popo, it was horrid. Luckily, according to sources (Aka, Mr. Popo flatout told her before giving her more training), Mr. Popo will not be attending, so in other words, party as if there was no tomorrow! "Let's see, food, check. Drinks, check. Dj, check. Decorations, check. Pregnancy test for Trixie and making sure it came out negative, check. Anti-matter armor spell to make sure Fluttershy or Nappa doesn't blow shit up again, check." Suddenly, a scroll appeared in front of the princess, startling her. Shaking off her shock, Twilight opened the scroll, and read.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
You won't believe this, but I am getting near labor. Normally, I would give birth at either the hospital or even in my chambers, but for my safety, I will give birth at the old royal castle in the Evergreen forest. Do not worry, there are hundreds of guards, Luna and her guards, Chrysalis and her guards, and even Discord is here to protect me! Shining and Cadance could have been here, but they still have some issues with Chrysalis. Anyways, I will let you know how the labor goes.
-Princess Celestia
"Aw, Celestia is about to give birth! That means I'm about to become a godmother," squealed Twilight. "Absolutely nothing can go wrong!" Another scroll appeared in front of her. Without hesitation, she opened it and read the contents.
Dear Twilight,
Ignore the letter sent by Celestia, she's high on painkillers. The truth is that we are held hostage in the royal castle by a bunch of magic vines. These vines managed to subdued our forces and placed them in very compromising positions of the opposite gender that I'm pretty sure this would be the perfect plot for a neigh-pon adult manga. To put frank, find the source and destroy them. No pressure.
-Luna
Twilight blinked before hoof-palming. "I jinxed it again."
Twilight Own Count: 22
There was good news and bad news. The good news was that Twilight managed to assembled her friends. The added bonus was that Sonata was coming along so if any trouble were in the way she can just blast them all. The even bigger added bonus was that Fluttershy and Nappa are to busy watching Fluttershy's flatscreen to come, so no migraines for Twilight. The bad news?
Rarity is already bitching about everything.
"Oh Faust, look at all this grime. I swear, it's as if this forest doesn't have it's own cleaning facility. You know Twilight, you're princess now, couldn't you sent some of the guards to clean this forest? They're all trained, so if any trouble is in the way, they can handle it, I mean seriously, look at this horrid environment, it's like if..."
'Oh Faust,' thought Twilight, trying to keep her cool. 'I traded Fluttershy and Nappa for this. Please let the old castle appeared closer than expected.' Luckily, fate was one her side, because the view to the old royal castle was in sight.
"Finally," said Applejack. "About time we made it!"
"Thank Faust, it was a long journey, especially with Ms. Bitch-a-Lot!" said Rainbow Dash. The group made it to the clearing, but what they saw makes Fifty shades of Gray look like a children's book. They saw various Solar, Lunar, and Changeling guards bounded by magical vines, placed in very compromising positions with someone of the opposite gender. Though it appears that some of them like their current predicament. "Wow, this is, um, something."
"Well Twilight," said Pinkie. "Do your thing. Take care of these vines."
"I think it's better if we hired a gardener," suggested Rarity.
"That's a stupid idea," said Twilight, charging up her horn. "I'll cast a spell that will weaken the integrity of the vines. It shall make them easier to break." Twilight then fired her spell at the vines, causing them to glow for a while. However, instead of making them weaker, it seemed to make them stronger, causing them to pulled harder, making the (bondage) victims to either freak or moan, depending on their point of view. "Whoops, that wasn't suppose to happen."
"Congratulations, Twilight. You single-hoofenly doomed us all." scolded Rarity.
"I don't see you doing anything about it." muttered Twilight.
"What do you mean by that," said Rarity, scowling at the purple maid princess.
"Well I dunno maybe you could've bitched at them, how about that? Seems that's all you appear to be good for these days, huh? Use your bitch-fu on those vines. Rarity, the Mistress of Bitching, that's what they should call you. I have no bucking idea what Spike used to see in you."
(Meanwhile...)
Chrysalis, Discord, and Luna were all chained to the wall held by the magical vines, while Celestia was screaming on her bed. The labor has already started.
"GET IT OUT! I'M DYING OVER HERE! LUNA! DO SOMETHING USEFUL AND GET ME A DOCTOR! CHRYSALIS! GO BUCKING GET TWILIGHT! DISCORD! GIVE ME YOUR HAND SO I CAN CRUSH IT! HOW DARE YOU IMPREGNATE ME! LOOK AT ME! I'M FAT AND ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR BASTARD CHILD!" yelled Celestia with her royal Canterlot voice.
"Anyone noticed the irony here? Nine months ago, Celestia wanted a foal, and now she's cursing me for impregnating her." said Discord. Chrysalis and Luna nodded in agreement.
(Back to Twilight's rant)
"Seriously, five ancient sages of bitches gathered atop the peaks of Mt. Bitch to proclaim your birth, and 1000 years later, when all the bitch stars, solar systems, and galaxies had aligned by the magic of the bitch alicorn goddesses, you were born and made everyone's life around you a living hell, because you are SUCH a BITCH!" shouted Twilight, panting after giving her rant about Rarity being a bitch. Rarity, meanwhile, had a suspiciously calm expression.
"Are you done?" asked Rarity. Twilight looked at the fasionista and nodded. "Good."
SLAP
"Owww!" Rarity and slapped Twilight on the face so hard, she was sent flying toward the old castle, crashing through the front door, and coincidentally crashing right onto the main vine, destroying it, causing every other vine to disappeard, freeing everypony.
Twilight Own Count: 23
"Wow, good job Rarity. You did something useful that doesn't involved whining." cheered Pinkie.
"Don't make me slap you," threatened Rarity. Twilight stumbled out of the doorway, holding here swirling head. On her back was a crystal box with six keyholes.
"Ow, what did I miss?" she asked.
"No idea, but the better question is, what's with the box?" asked Sonata, irked that she came through here for nothing. She could be at Ponyville, gouging on unlimited tacos, but noooooooooo, Rarity had to bitch at her to come.
"Normally I answer, but I'm too tired. Let's just go in and see Celestia."
"Wait, Celestia?" questioned one of the guards. "What are you talking about?"
"She told us that she was giving birth at the old royal castle," said Twilight.
"Oh, I think you may have gotten the message when she was high on painkillers. Luna sent you another message, correcting her sister's mistake. I think you may have misinterpreted her message."
(Meanwhile at the ROYAL canterlot castle)
Celestia had already given birth to twins, both hybrids of an alicorn and draconequus. They were both females, and were named Pan and Dora. Discord and Chrysalis were both gushing over the foals, happy to be free when the magical vines went out. Luna, however, stood out the balcony.
"WHERE THE BUCK IS EVERYPONY!?!"
Bang
And then Luna was hit straight on her head. Luckily for her, it was a bean bag shot. "OW!"
(Moments ago)
Fluttershy and Nappa were both enjoying the new movie that finally came out to purchase, Kingsmane (Parody of Kingsmen . Go watch it, it was very good) "This movie is awesome!" said Nappa.
"Well said," agreed Fluttershy. "Nothing can ruin this day."
"WHERE THE BUCK IS EVERYPONY!?!"
"Scratch that," said Fluttershy as she pulled out the Jackal, aimed out her window, and fired.
Bang
Moments later...
"OW!"
Fluttershy smirked as she holstered her pistol. "Yup, nothing can ruin this day."
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
Twilight sat on her bed back at her treehouse/library looking at the strange looking box in front of her. She knows it is important, but for what? It has six keyholes, but no keys to put in. She didn't even know how it got on her back when Rarity bucked her straight toward the old royal castle. In any other circumstances, she would have her and her friends to try to solve it on the way and help ponies, but with the recent events of since the beginning (in short, anything that involves Mr. Popo, Nappa, and Fluttershy), Twilight discover that she can't do this with the power of friendship. Why? Well, it's because those said three beings have been solving problems in their own way, i.e. violence and chaos, but way over the level that not even Discord can match. So what does she do to solve this?
Simple, if she can't beat them, JOIN THEM!
Spike was busy playing tonsil hockey with Trixie while Sonata was busy scarfing down Tacos in the kitchen. Nothing out of the ordinary so far. At least, until Twilight came in wearing some kind of armor that looks suspiciously like Nappa's. "Twilight, what in the seven levels of Popo are you wearing?" asked Spike.
"Spike, Trixie, Sonata," greeted Twilight. "As you know, me and the girls couldn't save the world because of Mr. Popo, Nappa, and Fluttershy. Do you know why? It's because the power of friendship is not strong enough. So I devised a plan to fix this problem."
"How? By doing more friendship lessons," said Sonata, eating another taco.
"Nope," declined Twilight, causing the blue pony saiyan to choke on her taco while Spike and Trixie gaped at her.
"Twilight, did you say what I think you said?" asked Spike.
"Yup."
"Okay, either Trixie has been kissing Spike so much Trixie lost too much air and is hallucinating as we speak, or..." said Trixie.
"Or?"
"...YOU'RE NOT TWILIGHT!" she shouted.
"Nope, I am Twilight. Now as you excuse me, I'm heading to the designation for our first mission as a new team," said Twilight as she LITERALLY started flying and going out the window.
"Hold it!" shouted Spike. "Since when can you fly? And what team?"
"First, Mr. Popo's training. Second, I secretly read Nappa's mind and saw a team that seem to treated each other like buddies. Violent flamboyant misfits, but buddies," answered Twilight as she flew away. Sonata paled when she realized something.
"Oh Faust, she's talking about....the Ginyu Force. "
(Manehattan-mission 1)
"COCO!" shouted a haughty bossy voice that belonged to Suri Polomare.
"Y-yes?" said the poor Coco Pommel.
"I need more thread! Hand me the rainbow looking one," her boss ordered. Coco meekily nodded and was about to hand over the the spool of special thread when suddenly the roof of the studio they were in exploded and flew in 5 ponies, all of them wearing saiyan armor (made by Rarity). "Who are you!?" ordered Suri.
Play Ginyu Tokuentai! (continue until specified)
Tokusentai! Tokusentai! Tokusentai! Tokusentai!
The pony of the far left stepped forward. She was an orange coated earth mare with a yellow mane and tail. She started howling and flexing her legs. She got into a pose and moved her front legs in a right-upward position. "I'm APPLEJACK!" she said, the background suddenly flashed yellow.
The pony of the far right was an blue coated pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail. "I am...!" she yelled as she got into the same pose as Applejack, only her forelegs faced the opposite way. "...RAINBOW DASH!" The background flashed blue.
The pony next to Rainbow smirked as she whipped her violet mane and kneeled, her mane covering her head. She whipped it once more, follow up by raising both her front legs. "RARITY!" the white coated unicorn said. The background flash white.
The pink mare next to Applejack started doing a crazy dance (Damn it Pinkie! Stick to the script!) which ended with her kneeling and raising her front legs. "PINKIE PIE!" she yelled, with a huge smile. The background flash pink.
Tokusentai! Tokusentai! Tokusentai! Tokusentai!
The final pony in the middle had her back facing Suri and Coco. She had a purple coat and have both wings and a horn. She bend over, showing her flank to the two, and showed her head from under. "TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" The background flash purple.
"NOW!" (Applejack)
"YOU!" (Rainbow)
"SEE!" (Rarity)
"OUR!" (Pinkie)
"POWER!" (Twilight)
This time, without missing a beat, the team form a new pose, all of them in the team pose. "WE ARE THE PONYU FORCE!" They all yelled. (End song, but if you want, continue from this point on)
"My Faust, what terrible outfits every single one of you are wearing!" shouted Suri. Rarity stood and gave Suri one of her looks.
"I'm sorry, but did you just insulted our outfits, the ones that I designed?" she asked with an suspiciously sweet voice.
"Yes, what did I hit a nerve?" smirked Suri, only to lose the smirk when Rarity replied with a smirk of her own.
"Actually..."
Slap
"...not really," said Rarity as Suri was sent flying toward a wall, crashing right into it. Coco had on a fishy expression, closing and opening her mouth in shock of the raw power Rarity produced. Rarity noticed how Coco is approaching her.
"Thank you!" the mare said as she hugged the fashionista. "Here, take this as a token of gratitude." She hold up the spool of rainbow thread and handed to Rarity, who took it with gratitude.
"Aw, thank you! I see a great future for someone like you in the fashion business, unlike her," said Rarity, pointing at Suri for the last part. Rarity joined her team and all of them flew upward, disappearing from view.
(Some grass fields- Mission 2)
"Has anyone seen Rainbow Dash? She was suppose to represent Ponyville?" asked Derpy to her companion.
"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" flexed Snowflake.
"Hold up!" shouted Spitfire. "I seem to remember that Rainbow was representing us, right Soarin?"
"munch, munch!" said Soarin, eating a pie. Seconds later, The Ponyu force landed right in front of them, scaring everypony minus Derpy.
"That was awesome!" cheered Derpy.
"Stand aside, I got this!" said Rainbow as she flew to the starting line, so that she can qualify.
Bang
The starting pop went off and Rainbow was already finish with the race. Everypony was gaping at Rainbow, none of them could believe that Rainbow was this fast! "So, how did I do?" said Rainbow to Spitfire. Spitfire just picked up her jaw and handed her a wonderbolt badge.
"Take this as an token of awesomeness," she said. Rainbow smirked as she grabbed the badge flew away with her team.
(Ponyville- Mission 3)
"Come on everypony! Let's party!" shouted Cheese Sandwich as he lead many of the towns inhabitants to create the party.
"Not so fast, pretty boy!" shouted Pinkie as she and her team slammed toward the ground, ready to cause mischief. "You can't start this party without me!"
"Shall we use the special technique?" ask Cheese.
"Yeah," answered Pinkie.
"ZA WARUDO!" They both shouted. One moment Ponyville was normal, the next it was covered in a lot of decorations.
"How did they do that?" asked one of the citizens.
"Trade secret," said Cheese as he turned to Pinkie. "Take this rubber chicken, to remember me by."
"Don't worry Cheesy, I won't forget," said Pinkie as she took the chicken and flew away with her team.
(Ponyville skies-mission 4)
Seabreeze groaned as she try to lead the breezies to their new home, but the wind was picking up speed, sending many of her fellow breezies flying away. Suddenly the wind seem to stop as she turned and saw a purple mare creating a portal that leads to their new home. "Fear not tiny breezies! Take the path through this portal that will lead to your new home!" shouted Twilight. Sunbreeze did a tiny cheer as she gave the purple alicorn a flower and left to lead her people to their new homes. "Well, my job here is done." said Twilight as she and her team flew away.
(Sweet Apple Acres-mission 5)
"Come one, come all! Try our new Flim Flam tonic. Guaranteed to make you feel younger!" shouted Flim to a group of potential saps, er customers.
"All for the low, low price of five bits!" shouted Flam.
"APPLEJACK QUAKE!" shouted the apple farmer as she slammed herself to the ground, sending off a shockwave that sent the brothers flying away. "No Solicitors!"
"The Flim Flam brothers are flying off again!" shouted the duo. Applejack then turned to Silver Shill, the accomplice of the brothers, who was sweating bullets.
"Here, take this bit! Just don't hurt me!" he pleaded as he handed over the bit and ran off, never to be seen again.
"I was actually gonna tell him to find another job," mutter Applejack.
(Back at Canterlot castle)
"Wow I can't believe how well we worked," said Rarity.
"We should'a worked like this a long time ago." agreed Applejack.
"Everything went according to plan," smiled Twilight.
"Give it a moment," said Pinkie, looking over a laptop she mysteriously popped out of her mane.
"Pinke, what are you-"
"Hello Twilight, how are you to-" said Celestia entering the room, only to freeze upon seeing the gem box thing and five items. "Is that what I think it is?"
"If you are talking about the box that could only be open by six 'keys' which are actually random stuff that has something to do with our element, which when opened gives us the major key to defeat *spoiler alert* which is actually nothing, then yeah, it is." answered Pinkie, not looking away from her screen. This earned her some looks.
"How did you know that?" asked Rainbow.
"I paid for season four on HD. I'm waiting for season 5 to end so that I could also buy it on HD." The party mare replied.
"Forget I ask that."
"Forget that! Don't you girls know that you have subconsciously freed a powerful being so strong, he can wipe off the face of the world!" shouted Celestia.
"Who?" asked Twilight. Before she got her answer, a voice from another room spoke.
"Hey, what are you maggots shouting about! I'm trying to get high here!" said Popo.
'You don't understand!" reasoned Celestia. "Someone from the past had just been freed and could enslave us all by stealing our magic!"
"Really? Are you still magical?"
"Well yeah but-"
"Then you should know when that happens, so shut up and stop being such a drama queen!"
"But you don't understand, this monster could-"
"Drama queen."
"But he has the power-"
"Drama queen!"
"He escaped!"
"Draaaammmmmmaaaaaaaa Queeeeeeeeeeeeeen!" sang Mr. Popo. Celestia sighed as she turned turned to the Ponyu force.
"Lord Tirek is back."
Author's Note
I'm sorry if this chapter seemed a bit off and/or rushed. You see, today I just graduated for the class of 2015 and I am heading off to college, so I rushed to finish this chapter. Sorry for any inconvenience!
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
Author's Note
First crossover fic. Please note this is mostly crackfic, so expect some OOC. Please comment on what would happen next...
Popo is Magic!
Celestia watched as her faithful student and dragon protege walked away from the throne room. She didn't like to lie, but the solar princess had to do it. She just couldn't have Twilight knowing that Nightmare moon actually is coming after a thousand years on the moon. "I'm sorry Twilight, but I can't have you involved in this. It just too dangerous."
"Hiiiiiiiiii." said a voice. In almost an instant, all of Celestia's calm demeanor went down the drain, replaced with fear!
''No, it can't be!' Shakily, she turned around, and she saw a small, black humanoid being that stood on two legs. It had on white pants with a red vest while sporting a white wrapped hat. Two gold earrings were worn on it's ears. She recognized this being. He was the only person that she truly feared. His power was unreal, spoken in untold words! So feared, he makes even Discord think twice before causing chaos. This being was none other than...
"M-M-MR. P-P-Popo!" she excaimed. Mr. Popo simply looked at her and gave her a frown.
"Bitch, why aren't you in uniform?" he asked. Celestia gulped and disappeared in a white flash. The flash came back and Celestia was now dressed in something one could expect from Playcolt magizine. Fishnet leg stockings, red maid outfit with a really short skirt that exposes all of the behind, and worst of all, the loss of all her dignity. "Now, where's the other bitch?" Mr. Popo asked, referring to Luna.
"W-well, y-you see, I, uh, sort of, banished her?" Celestia squeaked as she saw Mr. Popo's soulless eyes staring right at her.
"I left you two for a thousand years and already shit has been happening. Looks like a proper punishment is what you need," Said Mr. Popo. He lifted his right arm and...
Bam
...bitched-slapped Celestia across the throne room, across the hallways, and out of his sight. Judging by how lightly Popo hit her, it would take about a few hours, give or take, before she lands.
"Enjoy the walk back, bitch!"
Next thing Mr. Popo was planning to do is to find Luna and have her remember the pecking order. But first, he's gonna go back to the hideout and plant some pot. Just pot, nothing more. He's not gonna throw them away.
(A few hours later.)
"Give up Nightmare Moon!" shouted Twilight as she and her new friends faced off against the evil Nightmare Moon. Said villain laughed.
"Me, give up? And pray tell, how thou defeat with?" she mocked. Twilight gave her a smirked.
"With the power of the Elements of Harm-"
Crash
Twilight's friendship monologue was cut off when Celestia herself crashed through from the roof and right onto the floor. Everypony gasped when they saw their ruler on the ground, and riled up, and wearing inappropriate clothing. Nightmare Moon simply stared in disbelief until she recognized the outfit Celestia was wearing.
"That outfit," she said. "The only time Celestia wore it was when.."
"Hello, maggot." said Mr. Popo. Nightmare moon froze in place before slowly turning to see the one being that can destroy her with a flick of his wrist.
"M-Mr. POPO!" she cried.
"Bitch, it seems you forgot what I told you long ago. Looks like I need to reteach you the pecking order," said Mr. Popo. "There's you, the dirt, the worms in the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, and Popo. Got that?" Nightmare nodded with fear. "Now, to have you remember the training I taught you." In an instant, dark clouds consumed Nightmare, causing the mare to scream in fright. The mane 6 could only watch in horror seeing Nightmare Moon suffer before she disappeared from their very sight.
"Where did she went?!" yelled Rainbow Dash.
"I'll tell you where she's not... safe," said Popo before letting out an evil laugh, scaring the ponies. After a few seconds, the black mist that once surrounded Nightmare Moon appear once more, but this time, instead of bringing back the night villain, it brought back Luna. Said mare was on the floor, cuddling herself in a fetal position, and did I mentioned wearing a dark blue version of the maid outfit Celestia was wearing. Celestia got up from the ground and looked around. She saw her students and her friends, Mr. Popo, and her sister on the ground.
"Luna?"
"First rule of Popo's training, do not talk about Popo's training!" Luna sobbed.
"Um, are you crying?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"SECOND RULE OF POPO'S TRAINING!"
"Now's that's out of the way," spoked Popo, but he was interrupted by Twilight.
"Wait! I have so many questions to ask! Who are you, where do you come from, and more importantly, WHY IS CELESTIA SUBMITTING TO YOU!!!"
"Oh look," said Popo, a smile etching on his face. It creep the girls out. It was not a kind smile, but a dark, sinister smile, one that told unadulterated horrors and sins. "A mare that doesn't know any better."
"WHAT! WHY YOU-!"
"Pecking order." For reasons she can not explain, this cause Twilight to shut her mouth.
Twilight Own Count: 1
"Now then, first things first, POPO!" The balls of stone that was on the floor immediately exploded and was replaced with the elements of harmony, each floating to their respective bearers. "POPO!" The moon that was once outside in the sky was lowered down...."POPO!"....and was replaced with the rising sun. This of course stunned everypony.
"H-How do ya do that?" asked a shocked Applejack.
"Easy, they just know better," said Popo, before he did something that scared the shit out of them.
He laughed.
It was not a humorous laugh. It was a dark and evil laugh. The kind that sent chills down the ponies' spine. Popo then started floating in the air, shocking the group, minus Celestia and Luna. He stop laughing and turned his head, toward the direction of Canterlot castle. The mane six were silent, confused and scared at this, but Celestia and Luna knew what Mr. Popo was looking at. They can only think of one thing.
'He is so bucked if he were to ever get free.'
He spoked.
"Next season, you."
Within a blink of an eye, Mr. Popo flew away, but not before giving his farewell departure.
"Byyyyyeeeeeee!"
Meanwhile, a certain stoned draconequus felt a shiver of feeling, one he had though he never had to feel again.
The feeling... of FEAR !
My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic!
Training, oh and Chrysalis's Ex
It has been a few weeks since the whole Canterlot wedding event, and everypony was minding their own business. But it was not only ponies, but changelings as well. Chrysalis refuse to have them go back to the hive due to, certain circumstances.
"Wait, they can't go back to the hive, why?" asked Celestia to Chrysalis. Currently, they were both located at the throne room, making conversation.
"I can't have them go back whenever Mr. Popo visits, not since the last time." answered Chrysalis.
"What happened the last time?"
"I went out for a walk while Popo was, um, inspecting. When I came back, everything was in turmoil, and I found five dead bodies. When I told Mr. Popo this, he just laughed when I said, 'five.'"
"I don't think I want to know about that," shuddered Celestia. "Speaking of which, hows it going with Nappa?"
"Horrible," flatly said Chrysalis. "I managed to distracted him by telling him to train my soldiers."
"Is that a good idea?"
"No, but he ain't here, isn't he?"
In the training grounds, Nappa was standing in front of a bunch of royal guards and changeling soldiers, going over instructions. Nappa then spoke, "Alright, repeat after me: I, state your name..."
"I, state your name..." repeated the crowd.
"...will quote everything I say..."
"...will quote everything you say..."
"...cause I'm hilarious."
"...cause you're hilarious."
"Aright then," said Nappa. "Come at me with everything you got!" An pony guard and changeling guard charged at the saiyan with kicks and punches and blows. Nappa started to block them.
"Patty cake, patty cake, baker's MAN!" chanted Nappa as he slugged the pony to the ground. "Bake me a cake as fast as you CAN!" Nappa then slammed the changeling onto the ground. "Good effort, but I'm the patty cake master."
"Is he insane?!" yelled one of the changelings, a male to be exact.
"New game! Tag!" yelled Nappa as he sucker-punched the changeling across the yard. "No tag backs!" The changeling crashed onto a female royal guard. They both landed in a compromising position. They both looked at each other before the mare spoke.
"Well, this is awkward."
"They're probably having fun," assured Chrysalis. Celestia rolled her eyes at her. Suddenly, one of her guard members came rushing through the doors.
"Your highness!" yelled the guard.
"Yes?" answered Celestia. The guard stopped in his tracks and bowed.
"Princess, I'm here to tell you that, It , has returned," he said. Celestia gasped at this, but Chrysalis was lost.
"I'm sorry, but what has returned?"
"The Crystal Empire," whispered Celestia. Chrysalis blinked...and shrugged.
"Who cares."
"I care!" Yelled Celestia. "Don't you know who's the tyrant over there?! Sombra!" Chrysalis froze when she heard this.
"Wait, Sombra?" Celestia nodded. Chrysalis groaned and banged her head on the table. "Great, my stupid ex is here."
"Oh, right! I forgot that you two used to date."
"Yeah, we used to date, until he turned into THAT! I admitted of faking some experiences, and he threw me out as if I was some two bit whore! If only I could get revenge on him," muttered Chrysalis.
"Maybe you can tricked Nappa into fighting him?" Suggested Celestia. Chrysalis blinked once before letting a smirk appear on her face.
"Best...idea...ever!"
(Twenty minutes later)
Celestia and Chrysalis had summoned the mane six and Nappa. Discord was supposed to be part of it, but he was hiding out in his room (actually Celestia's) until Mr. Popo leaves. Strangely enough, Fluttershy isn't there yet. "Alright everypony, and Nappa, we have an important mission for you," spoke Chrysalis. "I need you to go to the fable Crystal Empire, find the crystal heart, free the place, and humiliate my stupid ex, Sombra,"
"Yeah, not gonna lie, but this seems boring," complained Nappa.
"But Sombra hates modeling careers."
"What?! Oh hell no! Nobody insults modeling career!" lashed Nappa. "We're in!"
"Too easy," quietly said Chrysalis.
"Um, girls? Where is Fluttershy?" asked Celestia.
"We don't know princess," answered Applejack. At that precise moment, the doors were kicked open with enough force to actually send it flying over the throne room. What the occupants saw shocked them. Standing at the doorway was Fluttershy, who was wearing an red 18th century victorian suit with tinted sunglasses and hat, had two pistols on her sides, and had no trace of shyness and was replaced with sheer badassery.
"Fluttershy?!" dumbfoundly said Rainbow dash.
"Sup bitches," greeted Fluttershy as she walked toward the group.
"What in blazing hell happened to you?!" questioned Twilight. Fluttershy looked at the bookworm and let out a fanged grin.
"Well, it started with a simple walk..."
