Fun Fact Contest: Out-Pranking the Prankster King
Princess Luna trotted through the halls of Canterlot Castle, having just finished the last in a long string of meetings, making sure the Griffon Kingdom was satisfied with the new treaty, turning an abandoned castle in the badlands into a stronghold, investigating another possible Parasprite infestation in Van Hoover, the list went on...
However, through all that she just barely managed to squeeze in a 30 minute break into her schedule. Long enough for a quick, yet soothing bath, in which she could happily let her thoughts flow freely before her next big event, from what she could recalled it was a special charity event for-
"LUNA! HELP!!"
Luna stopped dead in her tracks upon hearing her sister's scream, then without missing she spread her wings and bolted down the hall towards the source of her voice, which-oddly enough-came from the Royal Bathroom.
"Sister! I'm here!!" The Princess of the Moon called out as she burst through the doors, her horn glowing intensely, ready to lay down the wrath of a thousand suns on whoever dared harm her dearest sister...
...only to blink in surprise when she found Celestia struggling to get out of the tub… that was filled with yellow jello. "Sister! Get me out of here!" She cried out as she tried to pull herself out, only to be yanked back in.
Needless to say, Luna found the situation hilarious. She wasn’t sure whether to help Celestia or fall to the floor and laugh her lungs out. Trying desperately not to laugh, Luna used her magic to pull Celestia out of the yellow jello.
Bits and pieces of the jello were still stuck to Celestia’s coat, making an unbelievably annoying ‘wiggly’-like sound every time she moved. Having enough, Celestia scorched the jello off, leaving behind a pond of disgusting chard goo. "Dare I ask what happened, dear sister?" Luna smirked, trying to hold in her giggles.
“I was just having a bubble bath, enjoying some cake, with the water suddenly turned into jello.” Celestia explained, emphasizing the last part. “This is the last straw! First I wake up this morning to find out that my bed had become a trampoline, then my breakfast turns into a mini volcano that blasted me in the face, and now this!" Celestia snapped as she stormed out of the room with her sister. "And I know exactly who's to blame!”
“Discord.” Luna stated. “This does seem to be his doing." The Princess of the Moon mused. "However, I haven't seen him all day. You'd think that he'd be more than happy to pop in and taunt you over something like this…”
"Well wherever he is, I'm going to find him and set him straight!" The Sun Goddess proclaimed as she stormed off, intent on hunting down the spirit of chaos.
Meanwhile in his pocket dimension, said spirit of chaos swung from a cloud trapeze into a pizza pool, he giggled gleefully as he back-stroked through the cheese. He was having such a lovely day! He had no meetings to go to, no stuffy uptight Royals demanding that he uses powers for this and that…
…and yet for some reason he felt like he had forgotten something… something very, VERY important...
"Hmmm… probably nothing big!" The spirit of chaos chortled as he whipped out a book of Daring Do and began reading it… upside down.
“I’m going to kill him!” Celestia hissed as she trotted down a hall. It had been an hour since the ‘jello incident’, and Celestia was still ticked off, convinced that her husband was behind this prank. “I swear when I get my hooves on him I'll give a new meaning to the word 'twisted'!”
"BY MY SISTER-IN-LAW'S MANE!!"
Celestia's attention was drawn to the screaming of her sister's lover; Supernova. In a flash she immediately teleported to his location, finding him staring at the wall in disbelief and for some reason was trying to keep his wings tucked in.
"Supernova, what seems to be the problem?" The Princess of the Sun asked, startling the nightguard.
"P-p-p-princess! I swear I only just arrived to witness this, I swear I wasn't looking at it any longer than I-" The captain of the nightguard stuttered, trying to keep his composure.
Celestia turned to see what exactly her sisters lover was so mortified about… and her jaw met the floor.
On the wall was a portrait of her with a seductive grin and half-lidded eyes, pressing her flank flat against the screen, which took up almost the entire picture. And if that wasn't enough, the words "SUN BUTT" where written in bright red across each cheek.
Celestia's right eye twitched, her mind going through 1000 methods of torture for the spirit of chaos, most of which involved his nether regions.
However, she eventually managed to regain her composure. "Supernova…" She began, her voice calm yet cold and commanding, leaving no room for argument. “…you are to continue your rounds, and we will never speak of this situation again. Understood?"
It took a second for Supernova to respond. With a salute, he trotted as fast as he could away from the seductive portrait of his sister-in-law and the extremely angry Sun Princess. Looking around, making sure no other guards were near, Celestia let loose a torrent of fire that burned the portrait until not even ashes remained, and the only evidence that it was ever there was the scorch mark on the wall.
After making sure the insult to her royal hindquarters was gone, she briefly looked in the mirror behind her and scoffed. "My behind is not that big!" She groaned and she began to continue her search for Discord… only to stop dead in her tracks. "Wait, since when do we have a mirror in the-?"
*THWAK*
"GYAAAAA!!!" Celestia screamed in shock as she felt something smack her flank. Enraged, she turned around to see Discord’s smiling mug within the mirror. The spirit of chaos blew a raspberry at her before vanishing along with the mirror.
"DIIIIIISCOOOOOOOOORD!!!!!"
"Oh, this is just glorious!" Discord giggled as laid down on his peanut butter and jelly couch, enjoying the latest edition of the Power Ponies comic and drinking the glass of his chocolate milk, before tossing the milk aside - causing a miniature explosion - and kept reading. “Where do they come up with this stuff?”
Suddenly, he felt an odd chill go down his spine and his body filled with dread, as if what he'd forgotten was something dangerously important, something that would spell disaster for him should he forget…
"I FORGOT ABOUT MY PICNIC WITH FLUTTERSHY!" The spirit of chaos shouted as he leaped off his PB&J couch and tossed the comic book aside before snapping his fingers and teleporting away…
“Where is he!?” Celestia hissed as she blasted a cloud made of cotton candy hovering above her and her sister's thrones, splashing chocolate milk everywhere. Celestia’s search for Discord had taken her all over the castle, but there was no sign of him. It was like he had plain vanished, which, considering he was the spirit of chaos, wasn’t uncommon.
"NIDRA, GET DOWN FROM THERE!" Luna shouted as she ran into the throne room, chasing the giant jellybean that her daughter was bouncing on.
"WEEEEE!" The young princess giggled as she bounced up and down, however she didn't watch where she'd landed and immediately slipped off the edge, falling face first onto the floor. "OW!"
"See? This is why I told you not to ride it!" Luna scolded her child while inspecting her for injuries.
Nidra simply pouted before glaring at the jellybean. "Stupid jellybean! You're no fun anyway!" She snapped in rage before flying out the room.
Much to the Royal Sisters surprise however, the jellybean reacted to this insult, it started twisting and writhing as if it had been hurt before cracking and shattering into pieces, spraying what looked like apple juice everywhere and drenching everyone in the room.
"Wow… I know words can be hurtful, but that's just silly." Luna mumbled as she dried herself off. Celestia however, simply sighed in aggravation. All this chaos had to stop, but she was exhausted from her search and Discord was nowhere to be found…
…but then an idea popped into her head: Fluttershy, she was one of Discord’s closest friends, if anypony knew where he'd snuck off to, it'd be her. Without missing a beat she quickly teleported out of the throne room.
"Sister wait!" The Moon Princess called out. "Who's going to clean all this up?!" Her voice echoed throughout the chocolate milk and apple juice-covered throne room...
Meanwhile in Ponyville park, Discord appeared out of thin air, startling many of the the locals. Except for one, however.
“Oh, you made it! I was afraid you wouldn't come this time." A timid, yet happily voice called out. The God of Chaos turned to see Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness and his first true friend, had already set out a blanket and had the picnic basket open, with Angel digging through it before pulling out a carrot and started munching on it.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Fluttershy." He said as he sat down, ignoring the heated glare Angel was giving him. “Where’s your daughter? Oh, wait, let me guess. She’s with Turquoise, isn’t she?”
The mare giggled, remembering how the young dragon-pony hybrid's face lit up with glee the moment he saw her. "Yeah, they look so cute together!" She said as she handed him a cucumber sandwich.
The Draconeques simply chuckled before taking a bite out his sandwich…
"DISCOOOOOORD!!"
…only to spit it out in surprise when he heard his wife's angry tone. Fluttershy let out a small "Meeep!" before grabbing Angel and ducking into a nearby bush. Discord’s eyes widened as he saw his less-than-happy wife approaching him with a look that promised lots of pain and suffering.
"I swear, when I'm done with you, being sealed in stone will seem merciful by comparison!" The Sun Princess proclaimed as she aimed her horn… only to stop and turn her attention to the bush behind him. "Fluttershy,"
The shy mare slowly peaked out of the bush. "Y-y-yes, y-your m-m-majesty?"
"Could you be a dear and move about… five feet away?" Celestia asked with a kind smile, acting as if she wasn't about to incinerate her husband on the spot. "I'd hate to scorch you by accident."
"Oh, um… OK…” She murmured as she tip-toed away from the bush and out of Celestia's line of fire.
With the Element of Kindness out of the way, she immediately turned back to her husband, who surprisingly hadn't tried to escape. "Now then, any last words before I toast your flank?"
Discord however, didn't seem to feel threatened by this statement, but rather was deep in thought, as if pondering something.
"WELL?!" Celestia bellowed, her patience wearing thin. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!"
The God of Chaos merely snapped his fingers, conjuring up a couch to lie upon (Celestia could've sworn she heard Rarity's scream) and asked one simple question. "Celly dear, what exactly did I do?"
Celestia's eye twitched. Was he seriously acting innocent after everything he did today?! "Don't play coy with me! First you turn my bed into a trampoline, then my breakfast into a mini volcano that blasted me in the face, then my bubble bath suddenly turns into jello-" The only thing that stopped her from going further was her husband placing his finger on her mouth.
"Now Celly, while these are all very entertaining and creative ways to mess with you that I'd love to try… I didn't do it." He bluntly stated.
Celestia was seriously considering calling him a liar to his face before incinerating him, but calmed herself. "And why, pray tell, should I automatically believe you?"
"Well, for one; I was in my pocket dimension most of the day, two; I just got here, and three…" He immediately grabbed one of his horns and pulled the top of his head off. "…if you truly don't believe me, take a look into my memories!"
Celestia arched a brow before tapping into her magic, she sent out a small part of her conscience and felt let it merge with her husband's, allowing her to dig through his memories, specifically of what happened from sunrise to now. She found a few things she felt bad for intruding on, and a few things that she'd rather not have known about (how did he fit a watermelon in that clock anyway?).
But… where were his memories of pranking her? She searched more and more, but couldn't find any memories of the pranks pulled at her expense, she double-checked to make sure he wasn't hiding any specific memories from her, but found nothing of the sort.
Pulling her own part of her conscience back into her mind, the intense glow from her horn simmered down. "Very well, I see that you're innocent." She started as her husband screwed the top of his head back on. "And I apologize for interrupting your time with my husband, Fluttershy." She said with small bow as Element of Kindness hesitantly crawled out from behind a nearby tree.
"Oh… th-that's ok," The shy mare stuttered. "I'm just glad we managed to settle this without violence…"
"Though this does raise an important question." The Sun Princess began while turning her attention back to her husband. "If it wasn't you pulling all those pranks… then who was it?"
Back in Canterlot Castle, a shadowy figure slowly snuck through the halls, shifting through the shadows, making sure not to be noticed by the patrolling guards. His plan had been perfect, with all the mayhem in mishap he'd caused around the castle Celestia had automatically decided that Discord was the only culprit capable of such chaos and immediately went to hunt him down. This provided him with ample opportunity to set up several more pranks throughout the castle, by the time she got back the castle would be a funhouse of practical jokes!
And what better way to begin his rampage of prank's then in the Sun Princesses own bedroom?
As he silently snuck into the bedroom he immediately pulled out a giant vat of banana pudding and snickered sinisterly as he began to pour it into the bed…
"So it was you this whole time!"
…only to turn and meet his mother's piercing gaze.
"Busted." His father said from behind her as she stomped into the room.
“Oh, would ya look at the time, I need to go buy a watch! Gotta go!” The young Prince chuckled nervously before attempting to teleport away, only to be immediately trapped in the small bubble, courtesy of his father.
"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?!" Celestia snapped as she stormed up to her trapped son with a harsh glare.
"Uh… ehehe… well you can't say I haven't been taking my studies in magic seriously…” The young prince joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"I AM IN NO MOOD FOR YOUR HUMOR, PRINCE ILLUSION!!" The Sun Princess snapped, her mane immediately becoming ablaze with fury. Illusion quickly looked to his father for support, only to find him casually watching while munching on a bag of un-popped popcorn while giving him a look that clearly said "you're on your own kid".
"I am very disappointed in you! You have not only caused havoc throughout several parts of the castle, but also mentally scarred your uncle with that picture, disrupted the schedule that your aunt and I had planned for the day, and on top of all that framed your father for it!" Celestia shouted in rage. Illusion, if he wasn't terrified out of his mind at the moment, probably would've wondered how the entire room wasn't on fire by now.
"Oh come on mom! I was just a few small pranks-"
"A PORTRAIT OF ME PRESSING MY HINDQUARTERS AGAINST THE FRAME IS NOT A PRANK!!" She bellowed, ignoring Discord snickering.
"B-b-but think of it this way: the fact that you believed it was dad proves that I've been advancing in my magic studies!" Illusion tried to debate, hoping this fact would possibly lessen his punishment. "After all, warping reality like that would lots of concentration and power, so if anything everything that happened today was a result of my hard work and studying!"
Celestia stared at her son for a good five seconds before taking a deep breath. "I have to admit, you make a good point." She said as she tapped the bubble Illusion was trapped in with her horn. With a loud *POP* the Prince was free… only to be ensnared by his mother's aura as she brought him face-to-face with her. "However be that as it may, I can't simply let your actions go unpunished."
Illusion mentally cursed.
"What exactly are you going to do to punish him?" Discord asked, wondering exactly how she planned on punishing one who could potentially warp reality itself. Granted, his son still couldn't do it to the same extent that he could, but still… what he accomplished today was quite a feat, he would've been proud had his son not decided to frame him for it.
The Sun Princess tapped her chin as if deep in thought. "Well, I was considering stripping him of his powers and leaving him in the garden maze for an hour…” She stated nonchalantly, but then she gave her husband the most devious smile he'd ever seen before turning her attention back to her son, who started to shiver under her gaze. "But I have a far more… karmic punishment in mind…”
The young Prince found himself trapped in a dark room… and seriously missing the garden maze right now.
"So…” An elegant, female voice echoed from the opposite side of the room. “…no powers…” She giggled, sending shivers down his spine. “…no tricks…” She cooed as she approached the helpless Prince like a lion approaching its prey.
True to her word his mother had stripped him of his powers and left him stuck in his civilian persona; a black pony named Coal. But if that wasn't enough, she left him trapped in the room of the deadliest creature he could ever face; his marefriend Claire.
“…no way to run…” The dragon pony hybrid smirked as she backed her coltfriend into a wall, but she didn't stop until her face was inches away from his, and their noses were practically touching. “…and nowhere to hide. I think it's about time I got a little… revenge for all those pranks you pulled on me." She growled while extending her claws. "After all, Prism Bolt never got away with his pranks, so why should you?"
Illusion gulped, trying his best to get out of the situation unscratched. He quickly regained his composure and gave her his biggest mare-swooning smile. "Say Crys, have I ever told you how beautiful you look-"
"You're not sweet talking your way out of this one, Lulu!" She snarled while snorting smoke from her nostrils while the pupils of her eyes became slitted, quickly shutting the young Prince up. "Now then, any last words before I toast your flank?"
"I want my mommy." He whimpered.
"That'll do." And with that she let loose a torrent of flames.
"OH MY MOTHER, IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!"
"Sound's like they're having fun!" Spike snickered as he heard the young Prince's screams upstairs. "Well, our daughter is anyway!"
Rarity merely rolled her eyes continued to read the newspaper. She had been quite surprised when the Princess gave her daughter the honor of "disciplining" her son, but then again she was more than proud that out of all the ponies that could keep the Prince of Chaos in line, Claire was one of them. "Well, at least we know she can keep her boyfriend on a short leash…” Rarity said as she laid down on her couch (which she'd demanded Discord return).
"…AND THIS IS FOR LAST HEARTS AND HOOVES DAY! I COULDN'T LOOK MY BROTHER IN THE EYE FOR WEEKS AFTER THAT!!"
"NO, NOT THE CLAWS!"
"YES! YES THE CLAWS!"
"GYAAAAA!!!"
"YES! SQUEAL LIKE A PIG! SQUEAAAAAAAL!!"
Author's Note
This story was based off of this Fun Fact: Illusion has pranked his mother on several occasions and did it in the form of his father. She fell for it the first few times but figured it out when she saw that Discord legitimately didn't have any idea about the pranks.
Also for those of you who didn't know, this is what Claire meant by "last Hearts and Hooves day".