Hearts and Hooves Day Redux
Sifting through the books in her library, a purple unicorn grabbed most any book that had to do with Hearts and Hooves Day. “Geez, Spike. You knew Hearts and Hooves Day was today. Why would you put this off until now?”
“I know! It just totally snuck up on me, and now I have nothing ready to give Rarity!” Spike replied. He climbed to the top of a ladder. His eyes scanned the highest shelves. “I need to get her something extra-special.”
Book after book hovered in front of Twilight’s face for but a moment before they were cast aside. “I really don’t think you might find something ‘extra-special’ here. It’s supposed to be something from the heart, right?”
“Isn’t there some kind of legendary gift that will make anypony fall in love, or something?” Spike asked, pulling a book free and flipping through it.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Just go and make her something. Or buy her something,” she said. “Even if there is some kind of legendary gift, what are the odds that you can find it anywhere near Ponyville?”
“Aha! Found it!” He tucked a book under his arm before sliding down the ladder. He rushed over to Twilight. Extending the book towards Twilight, he opened it to display his discovery. “Check it out! There’s something called a ‘crystal rose,’ and it only blooms on Hearts and Hooves Day before withering away. Best of all, I don’t even have to go far to get it!”
Twilight viewed the page, her eyes widening. “It’s pretty…”
“It’s perfect!” Spike tossed the book aside, rushing to the door. “Wish me luck!” he said as he opened the door.
Twilight smiled after him. “Good luck.”
The door slammed behind Spike, making Twilight flinch. After a moment, she shook her head and sighed. She shifted her gaze towards the pile of books with pink and red covers adorned with horseshoes and hearts. Her lips tugged upward into a small smile. “Well, no time like the present to become well-versed in another Equestrian tradition.” Grabbing a book in her aura, she floated it over to herself and opened it to the first page.
Spike stood before the Everfree Forest, his feet straddling the omnipresent shadow cast by the gloomy forest. He gulped. “The book said it only blooms in the Everfree Forest...”
Spike imagined for a moment Rarity swooning at the sight of the magnificent crystal rose. “I can do this!” Wearing a confident grin, he clenched his fists. He glared at the darkness. “Do your worst, Everfree Forest!”
The forest responded with a guttural howl powerful enough to nearly blow Spike over. He straightened back up, holding out a claw and drawing two digits close to each other. “Uh, maybe a little less than your worst…”
In a secluded street on the edge of Ponyville, a yellow Pegasus sat alone on a bench. Clutched tightly to her chest was a plain, white envelope. Her teal eyes swept across the sky a moment before returning to the envelope. Closing her eyes, she sighed.
The envelope was addressed simply “Rainbow Dash,” though each letter was a different color. Nestled inside was a rather plain, generic Hearts and Hooves Day card. It might’ve been simple, but the Pegasus intentionally crafted it that way. It wasn’t flashy or mushy, and it contained nothing that even resembled any real feelings. Even the signature read simply “Fluttershy.”
Opening her eyes, she lifted the envelope from her chest, turning it over in her hoof. It didn’t scream “I love you.” It didn’t even whisper it. It was just as bland as could be.
It was perfect.
A sudden, strong breeze nearly ripped the envelope from her hoof. She quickly pulled it in close to her chest. Chancing a glance to the side, she found a colorful mare smiling at her.
“Hey, Fluttershy,” she said, holding out an envelope of her own. “Happy Hearts and Hooves Day.”
A bit reluctantly, Fluttershy took Rainbow’s envelope and gave her own to her. “Happy Hearts and Hooves Day.” She clutched Rainbow Dash’s envelope tightly to her breast.
Rainbow turned Fluttershy’s envelope over one before sitting next to Fluttershy. She rubbed the back of her neck before glancing over at her. “Fluttershy, I know we’ve been doing this since we were fillies, but… maybe we should stop.”
Clutching the card even tighter, Fluttershy let out a little whimper. “Wh-why?”
Rainbow Dash looked away from Fluttershy’s pleading eyes. “Well, it’s just… I mean, when we were little, it was nice to actually get something from somepony, even if it was just the two of us. But look at us now. Isn’t this kind of lame?”
“Oh,” Fluttershy replied, her voice devoid of energy.
Rainbow Dash sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Look, all I’m saying is that I’m sure that if either of us really tried, we could totally get dates. We just… don’t.”
Pulling the envelope away from chest, Fluttershy stared at it as she turned it over in her hooves. “I don’t think that I could ever work up the courage to tell somepony how I really feel,” Fluttershy said, only chancing a momentary glance at Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash stared at Fluttershy a long moment before draping a wing over her shoulders. “I guess you wouldn’t. But you know, you have a lot of friends that would help you if you did have somepony in mind.”
Fluttershy’s cheeks flushed as she shook her head a bit. “Oh, n-no.”
“Ugh, I know,” Rainbow Dash quickly replied. “Another Hearts and Hooves Day comes and goes and it’s still just the two of us.” Lurching forward, she stood up and stretched out her wings and legs. “I dunno. I guess we can keep up the old tradition until at least one of us can find somepony decent.” With a mighty burst from her wings, she took off into the sky. “See you around, Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy waved as she watched the multicolored trail fade away. Peeling her eyes back to the envelope, she snuggled it as she smiled. Keeping it clutched tight to her breast, she flew towards home.
In the dark depths of the Everfree Forest, Spike pressed his back against a large tree, his chest heaving. A low, loud rumble sounded spreading out the putrid smell of rotten eggs. Spike brought a claw to his mouth in a desperate attempt to muffle his panting.
A glowing eye peered from behind the tree. Spike clamped his other claw over his mouth as he held his breath. Slowly, the eye drew back into the darkness. Standing statue still a few moments, Spike listened. Nothing. He couldn’t even hear any wind in the trees.
Letting out his breath, he began gasping. “That was too close,” he muttered as he hunched over.
A large paw crashed down! By luck alone, Spike managed to split two of the massive paw’s claws. He looked up to find an enormous timber wolf staring down at him, its maw dripping.
“Uh-oh.”
Through the telltale lens of a pair of binoculars, a lanky, blue stallion shuffled about in front of Torch Song’s house. “Target locked.” Pinkie stowed the binoculars away on a pouch attached her all-black ensemble. She reached behind her head, pulling a black cloth mask over her face. “Operation Cupid is a go!”
From a bush next to Toe Tapper, a leg reached out, tapping his shoulder. He turned, finding nothing. As he scratched his head, another black leg reached out from a bush on the opposite side of the stoop and knocked on the door.
“What?” he muttered. He turned just in time to see a pale yellow mare with a red and purple mane tied up in a bun open the door. “Oh! Uh… H-hi, Torch. I just, uh, wanted to stop by and see if you, um… I mean, if you’re not busy…” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“Oh! Are those orchids? I love orchids!” Torch said, pointing a hoof.
“Huh?” Toe Tapper looked down to inexplicably find a gorgeous bouquet in his hoof. “Uh, yes?” He gave it to Torch Song.
Torch held it up and gave it a dainty sniff. “It’s lovely.”
Toe Tapper blushed, kicking the ground beneath him. “S-so, I was wondering—I mean, if you don’t have any plans already—maybe you’d… like to go to lunch with me?” He looked up, offering her an endearing smile.
Torch smiled in turn. “I’d love to.”
“Yes!” Pinkie shouted, erupting from the bush with her hooves held high. The duo recoiled. Pinkie blinked a couple of times before lowering her hooves. Without saying another word, she slowly sunk back into the bush.
“What in Equestria was that?” Torch Song asked, tentatively peering into the bush.
Toe Tapper shook his head. “I haven’t the foggiest…”
This time, the binoculars showed a tiny Pegasus filly with glasses sitting a stone’s throw from the playground. The binoculars followed the filly’s gaze, panning over to a tiny Pegasus colt playing with a few other colts. Then, the view went back to the filly.
Pinkie lowered the binoculars. She still sported her spy outfit, and this time she was perched high in a tree. “Hmmm,” Pinkie said, rubbing her chin. “Ah!” She pulled out a red, heart-shaped balloon. Inexplicably, it was already fully inflated.
In the blink of an eye, Pinkie zipped out of the tree and into a line of bushes near the filly. She held out the balloon and set it free. The balloon floated out and up.
The filly blinked before glancing up. Her gaze fell on the balloon for a moment before she got up, her wings buzzing. She lifted off the ground and started towards the balloon, though her path was anything but straight. She flitted through the air not unlike a hummingbird.
Her hoof reached out for the balloon’s string. Just as it met the string, it also met an ivory hoof. She looked up, seeing the colt. Her cheeks flushed. “Uh, hi!” she greeted him. “I’m kind of new around here. Name’s Zipporwhill. What’s yours?”
“F-Featherweight,” the colt replied.
Back on the ground, Pinkie pumped a leg. “Another successful mission!” She suddenly looked to the side, pulling up her binoculars again. Through the lenses, Pinkie found a quartet arguing. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon seemed to be yelling at Snips and Snails. Pinkie grinned as she stowed the binoculars again. “Challenge accepted!”
Spike scratched his head. Before him, several feet of ground cover smoldered, exuding wisps of grey smoke. “Huh, who would’ve thought that an enormous monster made of wood and dried foliage would be so flammable?”
He picked up a short stick. Staring at the smoke rising from the charred wood, he hiccuped. The resultant puff of fire completely incinerated the stick. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad to have the hiccups!”
As soon as Dash got back to her cloud home, she dumped Fluttershy’s card on the nearest surface before flopping down onto a cloud-forged couch. Sighing, she stared up at the ceiling as she draped a foreleg across her forehead. She laid there, motionless, just staring into nothing.
A few minutes ago, she hardly cared at all that it was Hearts and Hooves Day, but something during that conversation with Fluttershy bothered her. She was Rainbow Dash, the greatest flier to ever live! So why weren’t there ponies lining up to ask her out? Why wasn’t there even one?
An easy excuse would be that everypony was a jerk, but that logic only ever worked back in Cloudsdale. You would be hard pressed to find ponies friendlier than the inhabitants of Ponyville. So why did she suffer from such an abject apathy for romance? Where were her suitors, lined up for miles and miles?
Launching herself off the couch, Dash zipped in front of a full mirror. She watched her reflection as she struck a few poses. Who wouldn’t want a date with me? I’ve gotta be the most eligible mare in Ponyville! Nopony’s cooler, faster, stronger, or more daring than me!
Her posture drooping a bit, she frowned. She reached out a hoof, touching the cool glass. So why am I still alone?
Breathing a heavy sigh, Rainbow shook her head. With more than enough vigor to scatter her lighter furnishings, she took wing and flew out of her house. She soared to the middle of town.
Just above the bustling marketplace, she landed on a small cloud. Peering over the edge, she watched countless couples enjoying the holiday together. All these ponies seemed to have found someone, and they were just ordinary. Dash’s stomach turned at the sight of so many couples kissing and nuzzling each other.
Who was she kidding? That lovey-dovey stuff wasn’t for her. But still… wasn’t there somepony out there for her?
With a forceful grunt, Dash launched herself off of the cloud. She headed straight for the fountain at the center of the town square. Landing on the lip she trotted a few steps, her wings sticking straight out. “Listen up everypony!” she addressed the crowd, loud and forceful. Just about all of the hustle and bustle halted, every eye falling on the cyan pegasus.
“This is a once in a lifetime offer,” Dash said, stomping a hoof. “One of you lucky ponies is gonna get to hang out with me today as my date.” Smirking, she pointed to the ground just before her. “Just gather around and I’ll pick whoever I think is best suited to handle my epic awesomeness.”
The crowd exchanged a few glances and whispers. Then, all at once, everypony went back to what they were doing before Rainbow Dash’s announcement, although they did suddenly give the fountain a wide berth.
Incredulous, Dash stared at the ponies. “Come on! This is probably the only time I‘m gonna do this, ever!” she shouted. This time, nopony paid her any mind whatsoever. “…Anypony?”
She whipped her head all around, but not a soul paid her the least bit of mind. She hopped down, her tail flicking as she watched the crowd go about their business as if she had never said anything at all. Grinding her teeth, she turned back to the fountain. There, she caught sight of her reflection, distorted by the ripples.
Is there… something wrong with me?
Dirty, bruised, and tired, Spike continued to trudge aimlessly through the Everfree Forest. “Maybe I should’ve looked into where exactly this thing is supposed to grow,” he muttered, clawing his way through thick underbrush.
Finally, he stumbled free into a clearing. There, the sunlight bathed a pool, and in the middle of the pool a single patch of dirt rose above the water. Upon that plot of land, a solitary flower grew. It looked like a rose, but instead of delicate, smooth petals, this flower possessed rigid petals cut like a gemstone. Indeed, it even captured the rays of light, shimmering like a diamond.
“It’s the crystal rose!” Spike said, rushing over to the edge of the pool. He glanced about before spying a series of stones crossing the water. “Finally, things are going my way.” Effortlessly, he hopped from stone to stone, but he suddenly stopped. His tiny arms flailed a moment as he shifted his weight all about.
“Phew,” he muttered. Then, he blinked. “Is the ground moving?” He looked down to see the water not just at his feet, but a good half a yard below him. He leaned over to get a better look. There he found himself not standing on a tiny stone, but atop a cragodile’s head!
“Gyah!” Spike shouted, tumbling from the cragodile’s head, down its back, and finally rolling off of its tail and onto the small mound next to the crystal rose.
Rarity gave a long sigh as she stared at her barren mannequins. It was barely past lunchtime and her last customer just picked up their dress for Hearts and Hooves Day. And, assuming things go like they did last year, everypony would be far too busy flirting, and cuddling, and kissing, and…
Rarity shook her head before blinking a couple of times. Anyway, they would all be far too busy to stop by and shop for a dress. Worse, since she had so many orders to fill for Hearts and Hooves Day, she hadn’t scheduled anything else to work on.
With another wistful sigh, Rarity’s gaze traced over to the window. “Another Hearts and Hooves Day alone, huh?” she asked herself.
Of course, she could have her choice of just about any stallion in Ponyville. After all, she was easily the town’s most eligible bachelorette. Still, the stallions in Ponyville certainly left something to be desired. She should know; just about every bachelor had tried to court her at one point or another.
“Well, sitting here certainly won’t do me any favors,” Rarity said. In the window, she placed a sign informing any would-be customers that she would be out for a bit. With that taken care of, she left the boutique.
Rarity’s wandering took her straight into the heart of Ponyville. Of course, while the town was bustling with activity, all of the vendors were peddling novel, romantic versions of their normal wares. Shopping was out of the question. Everything and everyone seemed to be mocking her painful singleness.
With a weary sigh, Rarity sat on a bench beneath a shady tree. “Is the best of my romance already behind me?” she wondered, craning her neck over the backrest. Beams of light filtered through the boughs overhead in a dizzying display. Every small twist of wind brushed the leaves and bent the limbs. The subtle, unpredictable motion seemed to make the light beams dance.
Just as she began to relax, Rarity felt the bench shift oh-so-subtly. She tried to ignore the presence of another pony, but apparently, they had other ideas.
“You waiting for your date, too?”
Breathing a long sigh out through her nose, Rarity leaned forward to find a teal unicorn sitting next to her. What was her name? Her face always seemed to be around town, but she’d never actually come into the boutique for anything as far as Rarity could remember. Rarity’s gaze trailed to the other unicorn’s flank to find a lyre. Wasn’t her name something similar to lyre?
Rarity shook her head. Not like it really mattered what her name was, anyway. “I’m just enjoying the pleasant weather,” Rarity replied, her tone cordial as she could muster.
“Couldn’t score a date, huh?” she asked Rarity, a sly grin on her muzzle.
Rarity gave her a sharp, critical laugh. “I could have just about any stallion in Ponyville wrapped around my hoof if I wanted.”
That smug smile never left her face. “Oh? Then why are you here alone on Hearts and Hooves Day?”
Sighing, Rarity shook her head. “Now that’s the real question, isn’t it?” she rhetorically replied. “Don’t get me wrong, all the stallions here in Ponyville are quite nice and earnest, but I just can’t see myself settling down with any of them.”
“Well, maybe you’re just not giving enough of Ponyville your attention,” she said, pointing out at several couples. “You’re only seeing half of the available ponies.”
Rarity stared blankly a moment before it clicked. “Oh! Don’t be silly,” she said, waving a hoof dismissively.
“Whatever floats your boat,” she said, getting up, “but, the way I see it, you’re just sitting in dry dock.”
“Lyra! Sorry I’m late,” a pony with a swirly mane said, trotting up.
“Hey, Bon Bon,” Lyra replied, giving Bon Bon a peck on the cheek. She turned waving back at Rarity. “I’ll see you around.” She gave Rarity a wink. “Good luck waiting for somepony to come find you.”
Rarity scoffed. She leaned back again, draping her head over the backrest to stare upward again. “Only half, huh?” she muttered. She let out a chuckle, a smile forming on her muzzle. “How absurd.”
Back in the Everfree Forest, complete serenity surrounded the tiny island bearing the crystal rose. Suddenly, a purple claw shot out of the water. It gripped the shore before pulling Spike’s head clear of the water. He dragged himself ashore before crashing down on his back. He just stayed there, sprawled out, as he gasped for air.
Spike rolled over onto his belly. His eyes traced up to the magnificent rose. Grunting, he pulled himself forward, crawling over to the lone bloom. He reached up and plucked the crystalline flower free from the stem. “At last,” he said, still breathing hard. He grinned. “It’ll all be worth it when Rarity sees this…”
Under a reddening sky, Applejack took a few bits from Thunderlane. She tossed him a brown paper sack. “Thanks! Be sure to stop again if’n yah ever get a hankerin’ for some appletastic treats!” Applejack called after what would be her last customer. After all, not a single baked good remained on her cart.
“Phew,” Applejack said, wiping her brow, “there for a minute I thought I might not get the whole lot sold.” With practiced ease, she packed up her cart and donned her saddlebags. She gave her cart one last check before hooking herself to it. With little effort, she started for home at an ambling pace.
After only making it around the corner, Applejack became distracted at a strange sight. Rarity was sitting alone on a bench. Her eyes were locked on Flitter and Cloudchaser as they strolled by. As Applejack drew nearer, she could have sworn that Rarity’s cheeks were a shade rosier than normal.
“Yah feelin’ all right, sugarcube? You look a might flushed,” Applejack said.
Rarity blinked. “Hmm?” She turned to look at Applejack. Then, her gaze slowly trailed her body to her flank. It lingered there a moment before tracing back to her face.
“Rarity? Hello?” Applejack waved a hoof in front of Rarity’s face.
In a rather unladylike manner, Rarity shook her head vigorously. “Applejack? My goodness, you’ll have to forgive me. I was a bit… lost in thought.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly. “Thinkin’ about what?”
Rarity cleared her throat, her posture straightening up just a bit. “I’d rather not discuss it,” she replied.
A smirk found its way onto Applejack’s lips. “I get it. You done went and got yourself into a heap of trouble. What was it? Were yah tryin’ to date two stallions at once?”
“Hmph!” Rarity raised her nose in the air. “It’s none of your business how I date.”
The smile didn’t fade in the least. “If yah say so, sugarcube,” Applejack said, rolling her eyes just a bit as she started off again.
A bit further down the road and Applejack ran into an even stranger sight—or maybe not. Sticking out of a barrel was a pony clad in black. The barrel’s lid balanced perfectly atop her head as she peered through a pair of binoculars. It would have all been downright surreal had that pony not been Pinkie Pie.
Applejack stopped right next to the barrel. “Uh, what’cha doin’ there, Pinkie?”
Instantly, Pinkie’s binoculars were gone. She glared at Applejack. “You didn’t see anything,” she said, slowly sinking down into the barrel until the lid fell into place.
“Oh-kay,” Applejack said. She considered for a moment opening the barrel, but dismissed it with a shake of her head. After all, there was a decent chance that Pinkie wouldn’t be in there if she looked.
Applejack didn’t happen into another pony until she got to Sweet Apple Acres. There, she ran into her big brother. Oddly enough, the big guy wasn’t tending to any chore. He sat in a chair, sipping from a glass of lemonade.
“So I take it yah got all our chores done, all on your own, then?” Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Nope.” Big Mac lifted his drink’s straw to his lips, taking a long sip.
“Then why the hay are yah just sittin’ around like you’re on vacation?” she asked. “You know I was busy all day at the stall in town.”
Big Mac pointed a hoof. There, across the way, Apple Bloom struggled with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo to harvest apples. Applejack turned to Big Mac, a deadpan look on her face. “So you tricked Apple Bloom and her friends into doin’ chores for you?”
“Nope. They’re bein’ punished,” Big Mac said before setting his drink down and leaning back.
“Punished for what?” Applejack asked, looking back over at the trio.
Big Mac sank down in his chair. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” he said.
Applejack raised an eyebrow. Big Mac shrank under his sister’s stare. He grabbed his drink, and eagerly started to down it as he deliberately looked away from Applejack.
“Ugh!” Applejack rolled her eyes, trotting into the barn.
After stowing the cart and her saddlebags, she reemerged. Instead of heading for home, she made a beeline for the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “I hear you three got into a bit of trouble,” she said as she trotted up to the trio.
Sweetie Belle groaned, adding her bucket of apples to a cart. “So, you’ve heard about it too, huh?”
“Actually, I haven’t,” Applejack replied. “Not really, anyway. Just what sort of trouble did you three get into this time?”
“Ugh.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Do we have to?”
“Uh, no. I reckon not,” Applejack said.
“Look, we don’t wanna talk about it, okay?” Apple Bloom said.
Applejack breathed a heavy sigh as the three fillies worked together to haul the overflowing cart towards the barn. “Fine, don’t talk to me,” she said under her breath as she headed for the Apple home.
As soon as Applejack made it inside, she found Granny Smith in her rocker. “Heya, Granny.”
“Well if it isn’t Applejack. How’d your day go?” Granny Smith asked, gently rocking back and forth. “Manage to sell out?”
Applejack smiled wide, nodding. “Sure did, Granny,” she replied, trotting over. “Let me tell yah, today was one hay of a humdinger. Why I just barely managed to get everythin’ sold and… Granny?”
Granny Smith didn’t respond. She just sat in her chair, head down, as she snored lightly.
Applejack facehooved. With another sigh, she trotted over next to the sleeping mare and sat down. “So anyway, we managed to have a record sale this year,” she said, completely ignoring the fact that Granny Smith was fast asleep. “Oh! And wait ‘til yah hear this one. So I was standin’ there at the stall when, all of a sudden, Rainbow Dash soars outta the sky. She lands right in the middle of the square and starts yellin’ at everypony…”
Huffing and puffing, Spike limped out of the Everfree Forest. Sure, he was tired, beaten, and bruised, but it was all worth it. After all, in his claw was the object that would surely turn Rarity’s discerning eye: the crystal rose.
Spike looked up to see a darkening sky. It might have taken him all day, but here he stood, triumphant. Late though it may be, it was still technically Hearts and Hooves Day, so he could still win Rarity’s heart. With a newfound vigor, he took a step towards Ponyville.
He tripped.
Spike just managed to keep himself from falling down, but he failed to keep hold of the invaluable flower. His eyes widened as he watched it tumble through the air in slow motion.
Surging forward, he reached out for the delicate rose. He lunged, landing roughly on the ground. His arms reached to their limits.
Tink!
The rose landed right in his outstretched claws, perfectly unharmed.
He wiped his brow. “Phew! That was too close,” he said. He opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a great shadow sweeping across the landscape, ushering in nightfall. The moonlight fell upon the rose, and it dimmed.
The rose grew darker and darker. The tips of the petals turned jet black and fell away into dust. The corruption spread inward, until the only thing remaining in Spike’s claws was a heap of black dust.
Spike clenched his fists, and rose to his knees. Raising his arms above his head, he shouted at the heavens, “No!”