Breaking Point

Pinkie Pie drew a lot of attention as she made her way down the streets of Ponyville. Not that it was unusual for ponies to turn their heads and stare as she went by--how many grown mares do you see hopping and bouncing down the streets?--but this time, they were shocked by the fact she was plodding along as any normal pony would. Her mane was a little flattened, though not entirely straight, and she kept her eyes trained on the ground as she went on her not-quite-so-merry way.

Given Pinkie’s unpredictable nature, the many ponies of Ponyville were unsure of how to approach the pink party pony. It was no secret that one of her closest friends had recently gone through a horrible tragedy. Thus, it was something of an unspoken fact that her friend’s troubles were the reason for her own sadness. After all, it had been generations since Ponyville had seen tragedy of this magnitude. There wasn’t a single pony who didn’t pity the former dressmaker; Celestia only knows how her friends must be feeling.

Unbeknownst to the majority of Ponyville, the downtrodden earth pony’s Pinkie Sense had alerted her in the middle of the night to a disaster at Carousel Boutique. She had been unable to help, but she stayed on the scene just in case. She was there when they dragged out an unconscious Rarity and a charred Sweetie Belle. She had been the first among their circle of friends to know of the great misfortune that was coming between them, and, despite her being the most optimistic of the group, not even she was immune to the horrors that were unleashed that night. She sighed and hung her head lower, not wanting to deal with the intrusion of this memory.

Suddenly, she knew what would bring her spirits up. “A party!” she shouted, in the middle of the street, startling many ponies but, as usual, not caring. Sure, it might seem callous that she would throw a party when her friend was suffering, but the cause of celebration could just be that Rarity was alive and breathing. Nopony could disagree with a little festivity to redirect everypony’s attention from the fact there had been a tragedy to the fact somepony had actually survived. She’d have to keep the party small, though, so as not to make Rarity uncomfortable.

Her mane now up to its usual volume, she stepped her gait up to a purposeful trot, the occasional pony staring in awe and wondering what revelation had brought about this abrupt change, but none of them complaining.

Pinkie Pie stood, smiling and proud of the potential party before her, waiting for Rainbow Dash to arrive with the guest of honor. She was trying not to bounce but just wound up shivering instead, her very being brimming with excitement. She didn’t want to scare Rarity or make her feel uneasy, so she heeded Twilight’s advice and tried to not act so much like her usual self. They’d seen Rarity upset before, but Applejack had told all of them that this was bound to be worse than anything they’d ever seen, so this pink pony was doing her best to make her friend feel comfortable.

Finally, Rainbow Dash glided gently into the room, followed closely by Fluttershy, and…nopony else. Pinkie scrunched up her face in confusion. This wasn’t right. Rarity was supposed to be with Dashie. Maybe Dashie had forgotten to get Rarity, Pinkie decided. There’s no way Rarity would turn them down.

As Pinkie trotted up to her pegasus friends, Fluttershy noticed her coming and tapped Rainbow Dash on the shoulder, pointing a hoof in Pinkie’s direction. They cyan pegasus gave a pained look as she noticed the earth pony approaching, but quickly tried to mask it behind a fake smile, though her concern was embarrassingly obvious through the façade.

Despite how oblivious the party pony could be at times, she didn’t miss Dash’s worrying display. “Is something wrong?” she asked, uneasiness pervading her own expression. “Where’s Rarity?”

Rainbow Dash was silent for a moment, shuffling her hooves before meeting her friend’s intense gaze and finding herself forced to look away. “We couldn’t find her…” she muttered.

“We looked all over,” Fluttershy elaborated. “She’s just either not in Ponyville or she’s hiding very well. I looked on the ground and Rainbow tried to get an aerial view, but there was nothing. I’m sorry, Pinkie Pie…”

The earth pony looked dejected for a moment, but then perked up. “She’s probably off selling dresses to those fancy ponies in Canterlot. She probably needs to money and just forgot to tell us.” Satisfied with her explanation, Pinkie trotted away to socialize with the other ponies and keep her party from dying out too early. Just because the guest of honor wasn’t here didn’t mean the party had to stop. Everypony could use a little cheering up right about now. What better way to lift one’s spirits than by partying?

As she passed by Carrot Top and a pony she couldn’t recognize out of the corner of her eye, she heard one of them mutter something about the party being childish. Silly ponies, Pinkie Pie thought, what’s the fun in being grown-up? But as she looked around, she realized that none of her guests seemed like they were really having fun. Most ponies were standing around talking to each other, only pretending to smile and enjoy the party she’d put together when they saw Pinkie looking their way. The earth pony decided that it was probably because the party had just begun. Ponies would get more lively as the night wore on.

The night had worn on and nopony was any livelier than they had been before. Pinkie Pie lived for parties, but how could she really have a good time if nopony else was enjoying themselves? As she trotted back and forth, trying to keep any more ponies from leaving, she’d caught words like “childish”, “immature”, and “juvenile.” Were her parties really that bad? Had anypony ever enjoyed them at all?

Pinkie thought of her cutie mark and knew she couldn’t just quit partying. She had an expectation to meet. She had saved ponies from depression then. She could do it now.

Thinking back to the stories she’d heard her friends tell her about the parties they’d attended in Cloudsdale and Canterlot, she trotted into the basement, making several careful trips. With each arrival back at the top of the stairs, she set down a box, turned around, and went down to fetch another identical box. Some ponies, watching from the doorway of the room, wondered what it was that their host could be up to. A few of them were able to recognize the logo on the boxes from afar and snickered, finally ready to see the ‘party’ pony learn what a real party was all about.

Finally, when she was done, she began carrying one of the boxes into Sugarcube Corner’s party room. Dropping it on one of the tables, she grinned at the ponies and began pulling bottles out from within their cardboard confines. “Hard cider, anyone?”

The room became a mixture of cheers and uneasiness from the ponies who began to worry Pinkie Pie might wind up getting out of hoof.

Pinkie began passing down bottles to all the ponies, knowing that while this wouldn’t fully make a ‘real’ party, it was as close as she could get for now. Although, she had spotted Vinyl among the crowd… Maybe she could lend a hoof.

About an hour, several drunk ponies, and a DJ bribed with baked goods later, the party was finally picking up. Pinkie Pie was feeling a little unsteady and wobbly on her hooves, but she gave an uneven smile when she saw what a great time everypony was having. She didn’t have to sit around and wonder if her cutie mark had been a mistake. She had finally realized her full potential. And with that, even among the blaring music and more-than-tipsy ponies, she knew she could feel satisfied.

Pinkie Pie awoke the next morning with a pounding in her head that only intensified when she opened her eyes and was greeted by an intense beam of sunlight streaming through her window. She groaned and rolled over, her hooves brushing against the back of the stallion on the other side of her bed.

Stallion…? In her bed…?

The earth pony let out a shriek and jumped out of bed, putting feelings of headache and nausea aside. The stallion looked startled as well, his teal mane flopping to the side as he turned to look at the startled mare.

“Pinkie,” he began, looking alarmed at her behavior, “don’t you remember? The party?”

She started to calm down a little, trying to think back to the events of the party. She remembered getting out the cider and everypony getting a little drunk after a while… Vinyl, who promised to help Pinkie in exchange for some free cupcakes, which was the start of that blaring, pounding music… Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash making out in a corner--whoa, she would have to talk to somepony about that one… But no memory of the stallion in front of her. She shook her head slowly, ignoring the pain that came with it.

He looked a little hurt, but smiled anyway. “That’s alright. My name’s Silver Rain. I’m here from Cloudsdale, visiting a cousin. Don’t be shy to invite me to the next party,” he told her. “Uh, there will be a next party, right?”

Looking into his pleading eyes, Pinkie couldn’t help but nod. “Yeah… There can be a next party.” How could she say no to such a nice pony?

She sat down and watched as he walked out of the room, debating on whether she should go downstairs or go back to bed.

As it turned out, Pinkie didn’t leave Sugarcube Corner at all that day, but the Cakes made her at least do some register work and, when the noise of the customers proved too much for her sensitive headache, moved her to the kitchen to take care of the baking.

“Are you alright, dearie?” Mrs. Cake couldn’t help but ask when she came back to get a fresh batch of cupcakes from the hungover earth pony.

“Of course!” Pinkie chirped, putting more cheer into her voice than she really felt. The party really had helped her depression, but the hangover was simply killing her.

“Oh,” came her employer’s still-concerned reply. “I just know that was some party last night.”

“It was,” the pink pony answered. “It was the best party yet.”

And she hadn’t realized it until those words came out of her mouth, but it was totally and completely true.

A couple of days had passed since the party, and while Pinkie wasn’t bouncing across Ponyville as usual, she was still turning heads. She wasn’t sure why she didn’t feel like bouncing, but surely that wasn’t a cause for stares. It’s not like she was still moping or anything.

It was then that she noticed. They weren’t just staring. They were holding their hooves over their mouths to muffle their laughter, though for some, their chuckles were still audible. Besides, muting the sound doesn’t make a pony’s body stop shaking with each giggle.

Pinkie Pie was mortified, to put it delicately. She didn’t know what they were laughing about, but there was no doubt she was the butt of the joke. It seemed the prying eyes of the surrounding ponies became the only thing she could see, all of them mocking her from some reason she couldn’t figure out. Tearing up, she trained her gaze on the ground and galloped toward the library.

“Twilight!” Pinkie called out desperately, banging her hoof on the library’s door. “Twilight, I need to speak to you!”

At the first glimpse of purple behind the opening door, Pinkie opened her mouth to begin pouring out to Twilight before she realized what had opened the door was not a hoof, but a claw.

“Oh, hey Spike,” Pinkie greeted the baby dragon. It wasn’t that she was disappointed to see him, just that he wasn’t who she was expecting. Nonetheless, she trotted into the library in order to avoid being under the scrutinizing gaze of the townsponies much longer.

“Pinkie Pie, is something wrong?” Spike asked, giving the earth pony his full attention.

“It’s nothing, it’s just that--” Pinkie stopped and corrected herself. “It is something. Ponies are laughing at me wherever I go. And I don’t know why.”

“Really?” Spike gave her a sympathetic glance.

“I know, it’s so terri--” Pinkie began.

“No, not that,” Spike interrupted. “You don’t know why they’re laughing?”

“You mean you know?” The earth pony was a little more than surprised.

“Of course,” Spike told her. “Everypony in Ponyville knows about what happened at the party.” He stopped and thought for a moment. “Maybe even more than Ponyville.”

“Spike!” Pinkie shouted, her eyes now pleading. “What… What happened at the party?”

Spike then proceeded to describe to her, in detail, her drunken behavior and silliness, among other things, some of them involving a certain stallion who‘d been in her bed the morning after.

“Don’t worry about it, Pinkie,” Spike tried to console her. “Some ponies just can’t hold their cider.”

“Spike,” Pinkie began, her eyes brimming with tears as she trained them on the dragon, “if you know about that and you weren’t even there, what do the other ponies think? The ones who were at the party?”

“Aww, don’t sweat it, Pinkie,” Spike said, laying a scaly claw on her shoulder. “It’ll all die down. Just try to stay away from parties for a while, okay?”

“Okay,” the former party pony sullenly agreed, knowing that it would be a lot harder than it sounded… And it already sounded hard.

It had been just over three days and Pinkie had already broken the promise she’d made to herself. She knew the Cakes wouldn’t allow this kind of party at Sugarcube Corner, so she was forced to carry it to Lyra’s house, not that Lyra minded.

The party pony giggled and let the atmosphere wash over her, carrying away all her doubts. She swayed back and forth on her hooves, grinning all the while. The blaring lights, the pounding music… Sweet Celestia, what had she been missing out on all these years of supposed partying? This was what a party could really be, and to her, it was perfect. She admired it like an artist would their finest masterpiece, that is, if said artist was considerably more than just drunk. However, she got an added bonus that the artist didn’t. She got to experience her masterpiece with all of her senses, and none of them were complaining. Lost in the moment, Pinkie Pie was able to forget all about the snickers and stares from earlier.

Each day blended into the next, the only events sticking out to her being the Celestia-damned hangovers and the bliss of the parties. Come to think of it, even her recollection of those events were fuzzy. She tried to avoid going out during the day in attempt to avoid the scorned looks she got from the ponies she encountered on the streets, but she wasn’t always successful. This day was different, though. Twilight had asked her to come to the library, and Pinkie Pie didn’t want to disappoint her friend. Taking another aspirin and downing it was a glass of water, the party pony trotted out of Sugarcube Corner and made her way down to the library.

She tried to keep a steady trot, pretending to ignore the ponies who caused her such discomfort every time she stepped outside. She wasn’t sure what stung worse, the laughter or the disapproving stares. She didn’t want to hang around long enough to figure it out, so she picked up the pace as the library came into view.

Pinkie, not bothering with knocking, cantered on in. “You wanted to see me, Twilight?”

“Yes! There you are!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Where else would I be, silly?” Pinkie Pie giggled.

“I’m glad to see you so happy,” Twilight told her honestly, “but I’m a little concerned about you.”

“Oh, Twilight,” Pinkie reassured with a laugh, “you don’t need to worry!” Inwardly, she wasn’t sure she liked where this was going.

“Yes, Pinkie, I do need to worry,” the unicorn sighed, displaying all her pity right on her face. “You’re so busy nowadays that none of us are ever able to see you when we try, and the parties you’ve busied yourself with… Well, I don’t think they’re good for you.”

“Why would you say that?” the earth pony asked nervously. She where this was going, but she was hoping she was wrong.

“Well, I haven’t been to any of your parties since the one you threw for Rarity, but if they’re anything like that one, I know they’re not good for you. And from what I hear, they’re worse!” Twilight explained with a notion of concern.

The party pony was serious now. “I can’t…” she whispered.

“I’m sorry?”

“I can’t!” Pinkie the time bomb exploded, all the pressure finally coming out. “I can’t stop partying! Everypony counts on my parties, and I’m a part of everypony! That’s the only time I get to feel like ponies are appreciating me for what I’m doing and not just for taking the place of the town laughingstock!” She wiped away the tears she hadn’t known were there and calmly continued. “Ever since the fire and Rarity’s disappearance, something’s been missing, and when I’m in the middle of those parties, it all disappears. It doesn’t matter anymore. I can just be me.”

“Pinkie…” Twilight tried to sympathize, but found herself, for once, unsure of what to say. Instead, she placed a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder, only to find it knocked away.

“You don’t understand,” Pinkie muttered. And, in her mind, it was true. She and Rarity hadn’t always been so close, but Pinkie had been a Ponyville resident considerably longer than Twilight, and there wasn’t anypony who wasn’t her friend, Rarity included.

Later that night, Pinkie Pie found herself singing along to some song she didn’t know she knew. Before long, the stallion next to her began to chuckle at the absurdity coming forth from her mouth. His laughter reached Pinkie’s ears through the blaring noise, and almost immediately, she bristled at the sound.

“Are you laughing at me?” the earth pony growled, partying attitude dropped.

“N-no,” the stallion stammered. “Sorry.”

After all, laughter is bitter when you’re the one being laughed at. Sometimes it’s better to not laugh at all.