Awkward silence coated the room as the two living and sapient beings in it stared at each other, eyes wide with horror and embarrassment met with eyes with utter exasperation and irritation. In the background, a certain lilac foal was dropped by a certain grey mailmare, but that’s not important.
It was the one with four legs which broke the silence as she averted her eyes to the ground, an uncomfortable lump forming in her throat, before she pushed them deep into her bowels. “Spike, please explain what you’re wearing,”
The aforely-mentioned baby dragon shuffled awkwardly in his feet, a blush covering his face. “I-It’s just a dress Rarity made me try,” he stammered out.
Yes, Rarity’s dress, a rather... exotic one, if one would say. If there’s one word to describe it, it would be Skimpy, or in a much blunt word, Slutty. He wore what appeared to be a pink Prench maid outfit, including the frill skirt, white stocking, and heart shaped picture sewed to the apron.
It’s not even a really maid uniform, and more like the kind of outfit you would wear in a brothel. Of course the one who’s wearing it is the one doing the service.
Now, exposition time; Pony’s fashion, in general, is rather backward. Sure, the still wear frilly dresses for fancy things like a pish-posh party, but the unique part is... well, because they’re usually naked anyway and modesty doesn’t really matter that much in the pony society, somehow, it makes wearing a rather revealing dress somewhat improves on one’s person’s beauty, or to be specific, sexiness.
Simply said, if a pony wear striped socks in the bad part of a bad city, then chances are, that pony will probably ended up in some nondescript dark-alley covered with a suspiciously white, salty, and thick liquid. Regardless of gender.
There’s a reason why Whorses from Manehattan are commonly wearing costumes rather than naked. Not that Twilight knew anything about it. Really.
Seriously, Princess Celestia never taught her things that won’t be needed in her future life.
Twilight forced the need to sigh, and instead settled on a twitch of her eye as she lifted her head at the nervous dragon with a frown. I’ll need to talk with Rarity on what Spike should and shouldn’t wear. Again. “And please tell me why are you wearing it now, Spike? Especially in a public place?”
Really, when you consider that Twilight is basically Spike’s sister/caretaker/master/boss and among other things, mother. The scene became a tad more disturbing than that of comical.
This time, it was Spike who averted his eyes from Twilight. “Uh, because Rarity told me that it would make you happy?” Spike hazarded.
Twilight sighed, took a deep breath, and sighed once more, closing her eyes to search for that diminishing oasis of calmness. Really, she appreciates his... needless effort. True, she had been getting stressful lately, but still— Calm down, Twily, no need to go Zero on Rarity. We could talk it out with her later. “Spike, would you be a dear, and take off your outfit?”
“But—“
“That’s not a request, Spike. We’re going to talk about something important after this.”
Spike’s shoulders slumped, looking at the floor of the Library in dejection as he climbed upstairs into his room.
Twilight sighed once more, biting her lips slightly as she tried to remember that one talk with her adored mentor. “This is going to be awkward,” she muttered, walking to an isle of her library, looking for that particular book on how to avoid an awkward talk. “Why didn’t he just take off the clothes?”
Twilight sighed once more as she found the lack of said book. We think we now understand how Mentor feels when she gave us that talk. Keep ourselves together, Twilight, and stop being a Luna.
She still needed to talk with Rarity after this. No way is she going to make Spike into her personal slut. No matter what good intention she has with Spike.
Giving up on her rather futile search, Twilight settled on summoning two cushions from upstairs, and placing them neatly in the middle of the library. That done, she walked to the Library’s door, turning over the ‘Open’ sign to ‘Close’ and locking the door with a click. With that, she returned to the library and plopped her healthy haunches to the soft purple cushion.
She stared at the green cushion opposite of hers with a look of resignation. “Why is Spike taking so long?” she wondered quietly after a certain amount of time.
There was a moment of tense silence as Twilight Sparkle, the first of her name, 67th protégé of the glorious Princess Celestia, the Elemental bearer of Magic, probably the best unicorn mage in her generation, and the soon to be Princess of—self entitled— Friendship, and—most definitely—Magic cursed her incompetence for tempting Fate.
She was only able to release a sigh of relief as the door upstairs creaked open. She set up a small smile as the baby dragon’s clawsteps went closer, and climbed downstairs. She turned; ready to start the ‘Talk’ with something easy to digest.
Only to find her heart stopped for a moment, her eyes twitching as she took a deep calming breath. “Spike,” she hissed softly, and how that worked together, she would never know. “Why are you wearing that?”
For Spike wasn’t wearing his birthday suit. No, instead he was wearing a much skimpier outfit than before, for he was wearing, for a better word, a very tight blue latex outfit. Another abomination of which created by a certain marshmallow Unicorn.
Spike fidgeted, squirming under his sister’s stare as he tried to provide an answer. “W-Well, Rarity said that when ponies—“
Suddenly, the door, of which she was sure she already locked, slammed open by a certain grinning Stetson-wearing workaholic mare. “Howdy, Twi—“
She froze, her green eyes stuck on the inappropriately-looking Spike, eyes wide, doing the perfect impression of a deer about to be crushed by an incoming carriage, while her mouth wide open like a goldfish.
Spike stared back at her, cheeks reddening in embarrassment as he fidgeted under her stare.
Twilight slapped her hoof over her face, silently groaning as it slid down off her face. Her horn glowed violet, and Applejack soon found herself eliciting a surprised ‘Hey!’ as she met the eyes of a certainly manic librarian.
“This is not like what it looks like. Understand, Applejack?”
Applejack blinked, glancing at the flustered Spike, and back at her magical friend, giving her a skeptic look. “Uh sure, Twilight, definitely not what it looks like,”
Twilight, in her slightly manic state, unnoticing the look she was getting and her friend’s element, gave a smile at her. “Good,” she nodded, gently releasing her hold on Applejack. “I don’t want to cause any misunderstanding. Celestia knows how bad Ponyville’s rumor mill is, right?”
She nodded, rubbing the back of her neck, a nervous habit that if only Twilight was in her calm mind, would’ve noticed. “Sure Twi’,” she glanced at the flustering dragon, before at the door. “So, uh...”
Twilight, noticing her pointing eyes, gave her a nod. “Sure—“
And Applejack was gone before she could say Celestia.
“Wait, why did she come in here again?” She asked to herself in confusion, before shaking her head as she scowled to her little brother. “Spike, please, strip down. Now.”
Were Twilight wasn’t too focused with a certain problematic dragon, she would’ve swear she heard a loud gasp from outside.
Spike nodded meekly, inwardly cursing for every life choices he made to reach this kind of embarrassment as he stripped down from... whatever it was that Rarity’s beautiful mind had concocted.
“Sit.”
Heeding his sister-slash-mother figure’s command, he plopped his ass onto the green cushion she had summoned from before. Fidgeting, he opened his mouth—
Twilight sighed, plopping her rear onto the soft violet cushion in front of the sad-looking Spike. “No, Spike, I’m not angry with you,”—But we are indeed angry with Rarity. We really, really, should talk with Rarity after this—“And no, I’m not going to scold you for being indecent in a place where ponies read books to further expand their—“almost non-existent—”knowledge. Not to explain the chaos it would do to the Princess’ reputation.”
Indeed, imagine the destruction it would cause when they misunderstood that we’re a pedophiliac young mare who frequently abuses her young assistant. Imagine the political fallout it would do to our Mentor’s reputation! She would hate us, cut off our communication like what she had done to her mysteriously missing previous student.
Shuddering slightly, she looked at Spike with utter seriousness that made Spike a tad unnerved. “Understand, Spike?”
Spike nodded nervously, inwardly sighing in relief as her slightly frazzled mane straightened itself. “Yes, Twi.”
Really, Spike loves her sister dearly. But sometimes, it’s both hard and scary to talk with her. At times, she would be cheerful, sweet, if not an egghead, but at other times, she would be scary, frantic, and also crazy. Still, even if he didn’t look like it, Spike always tries to cheer her sister up. Especially considering how erratic and stressful she had been lately, always cooping herself in the basement, tinkering on Celestia knows what.
Even if his effort is oftenly... misunderstood, despite the plenty advices he would receive from Rarity.
Twilight’s serious visage melted away as she smiled. “Great.” She nodded to herself, before coughing suddenly as she remembered about the ‘Talk’ she’s going to give. An awkward smile plastered on her face as she faced her little dragon. “Spike, do you know about sex?”
Twilight forced down the urge to slap her face as the words came out. Great, we suck at being careful and subtle.
Spike stared at her in confusion, before nodding. “I know about it.”
Our favorite unicorn blinked in surprise. “You do?” she asked, mouth slightly slack in disbelief.
A slightly irritated glance was thrown away by the baby dragon as he crossed his little claws over his chest. “Twi’, we’re living in a library, we’ve spent most of our time in Canterlot in a library. So yes, I know things about sex.”
Twilight smiled sheepishly as she remembered, that yes, Spike does read books. And probably, some of those books involve Biology, Anatomy, Sex Education, and most certainly Psychology. Well, this is very convenient. Sometimes we are quite forgetful as well. “Well then, that means I don’t need to explain that. But I still need to ask why you wear... such clothes when you know it’s inappropriate?”
His irritated feeling gone as a blush formed on his green cheeks, offering an uncomfortable look to Twilight. “Because Rarity said that it would cheer you up.” He admitted, ducking her head slightly in embarrassment. “And since you were being erratic and frantic in the last couple days, not even asking help to me, mind...” He shrugged. “I wanted to make you happy.”
Oh, Spike. Twilight’s eyes softened ever so slightly as she pulled Spike to her with her magic. “Oh Spike,” she sighed, hugging embarrassed looking Spike. “I’m already happy as it is. I’m just working on a special project the Princess requested me for. We are sorry for neglecting you too much, Spike.”
There was a nagging feeling of wrongness in Spike’s mind as he processed her dear sister’s words, but he dropped it down for the sake of hugging her sister back.
Of course, nothing can stay forever as the entry door slammed open.
The two jumped in surprise, wide eyed as they quickly turning around to see the collective concerning looks from Twilight’s five best friends. And if her eyes weren’t fooling herself, Twilight swears she could see a guilty look coming from Rarity.
As soon as Twilight’s heart rate went back to normal, connecting the dots quickly as her neck creaked to a certain apple mare, a look of bemusement on her face. “Applejack...” there was an exasperated tone in her voice as she let out the name.
Applejack, in her own case, avoided her stare, fidgeting nervously before she shook her head, and stared back at Twilight’s eyes. “Sorry, Twilight, but pedophilia is wrong, and you need help.” She said resolutely, and the four other ponies in the back copied her movement.
Twilight slapped a hoof over her face. Hard. Resulting in Spike and five ponies to jump in surprise and shock. She ignored the stinging pain as she forced down the urge to explode.
Why didn’t we lock the door? Or rather, why didn’t we just change the faulty lock?
Far, far away from the Ponyville’s library, a certain chaotic Draconequus laughed in the sky; tears of laughter pouring out from his yellow eyes, slapping his own face with his claws. “Oh, Twilight, you never cease to amuse me.”
Author's Note
Funny thing about this story. It was first planned to be a Crackfic (Which is why Twilight is slightly... OOC), when it suddenly became a Fluff. Before it suddenly changed back to Crack, and back to Fluff again. Heck, I even halted writing this for two weeks or so, before continuing it after I was quite bored.
Eh, hope people would like it though.
