The Journal of M. A. Lurveson

by Patroller Pony

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3943

After the loss of her library, Twilight finds herself unable to overcome her writer's block. To overcome this, she uses mysterious and arcane powers she summons a great power that will have unforeseen consequences over all of Equestria.

Twilight is unable to overcome writer's block brought on by the loss of her library and private collection. She uses her genius to devise a plan using other worldly powers to bring the greatest journal in existence to Equestria. This solves her problem with writer's bock, but also has some unexpected consequences. Follow along as Twilight puts her literary "talent" to paper and Equestria falls into chaos.

Published 2015-02-14 17:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-14 17:50:01 UTC

Chapter 1

The Journal of M. A. Lurveson
By: Patroller Pony
Chapter 1

A long sigh echoed through the empty counsel room. Twilight sat with her head lying on the table. She stared at a blank piece of parchment surrounded by meticulously laid out ink wells and quills. “Aghhhhhh!” cried out the depressed little alicorn princess as she grabbed her head in frustration and began to pull at her mane. “Why is it so hard to write anymore? I had volumes upon volumes in my… old… home…” Twilight slowly got up and walked to the window. She gazed out and focused on the ashes of her old library and home. “All my work, destroyed in seconds.” A solitary tear rolled down her face. “No Twilight! You’re better than this. All you need to do is focus.”
Outside the window she noticed all of the ponies walking around the quaint little village that was Ponyville. Most carried on with their daily routines. The Flower sisters setting up their stands for the morning, the Cakes finishing up the breakfast rush and preparing for lunch, the little school fillies and colts playing before Cheerilee started class for the day. All of them out enjoying a beautiful late spring day. All of them out while little old Twilight was stuck here watching the castle and suffering from extreme writer’s block.

“It’s not fair. Why am I stuck here alone? Rainbow is out helping Fluttershy with flight lessons for the new bird hatchlings, Pinkie is at the bakery as usual helping the Cakes with their preparations for lunch and watching the foals, and Rarity is with Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres. I mean seriously how hard is it to re-align the new saplings into straight rows for the new orchards? Why would Applejack insist on having Rarity’s keen eye for detail there for such a menial task? Unless…”

Suddenly the lavender mare rushed back to her seat, gripping a quill in her magic. “Yes, yes I can see it. Almost!” The quill touched the parchment and held there for what seemed like an eternity, but what was in actuality, like, thirty seconds. Slowly it lowered to its former resting spot. “Why is this so hard anymore!” cried out Twilight as she hit her head against the table with a loud and oddly hollow sounding bang. “Owwww…” whimpered the absent minded alicorn as she forgot her writing surface of much more forgiving, specially enchanted, wooden desk had been replaced by that of a cold harsh crystal table that, despite the best efforts of the bucking element of magic, refused to take any enchantments.

“Stupid crystal castle. Stupid Tirek. Why did he have to go and destroy all my books? It’s not like they were just torn; they were literally incinerated like they were targeted specifically. I hate him so much. I wish he was stone like discord was so I could at least, oh I don’t know, draw mean things on him or throw eggs at him or feed the pigeons right at the base of his stone prison. It’s not fair!” Screamed Twilight. “When I had my journals I could write for hours. I was able to influence my will over the workings of Equestria as they should be, if only for my own enjoyment.”

Twilight then let out a little laugh. “Also, I can’t remember how many times I forgot to feed Spike during my special ‘study’ sessions. But I mean it’s not like he couldn’t have used a few missed meals here and there. All those gem stones he kept getting from Rarity were making him fat. But now it’s gone, and so is Spike’s slim waste line. All my hard work over the years turned to ash. With no way to reconstruct th…”
Twilight trailed off suddenly deep in thought. “Reconstruct them…” It was almost as if you could see gears starting to turn in the little mare’s head. “Yes, yes, no… YES! That’s it!” She sprang to her hooves and began to bounce around the room like a filly, screaming yes over and over. “Why didn’t I think of this before? It’s so simple.” She raced over to her book shelves, all signs of depression and despair vanishing in an instant. “Where is it, I know I took it.” Twilight said as she began to survey the shelves. “Mmmmmm, aha! There it is!” Exclaimed the mare as a single strand of her mane suddenly curled up from its normally flat position.

Twilight levitated a black book covered in ancient runes and seals on it towards her. She let out a small unsettling chuckle as the book landed in her hooves. “Princess Celestia said the books in THAT section of the library served no purpose in modern Equestria, but I am about to prove her wrong.” Twilight carefully removed the protective wards sealing the book one by one as she trotted over to the table once again. She shoved her once meticulously laid out writing supplies to the floor with a hoof as she lowered the book on its spine.
As the last seal was released, the book slowly fell open slowly to the center page. “Okay Twilight, you stole this from Celestia’s personal, and totally off limits section years ago. Time to make my youthful transgression pay off.” She began turning pages looking for the information that would surely cure her writer’s block. “Aha” proclaimed the little alicorn as she brought a hoof down onto the topic she sought. “And Celestia said that any books in that section had no use.” Twilight began to read the page in front of her with a maniacal grin growing larger on her face with each line she read. “Yes this will do. I can bring back my journals with alchemy!”

A few hours passed as Twilight gathered the necessary materials from around the castle. “Okay now that I’ve gathered what I need,” said Twilight as she rubbed her hooves together “time to draw the circle.” Twilight’s horn sparked as she grasped a piece of chalk within her magic. She began making long sweeping marks across the floor, extending to all corners of the room. “Okay that should do it. Now for the ‘materials’.” Twilight levitated several books towards her and placed them in the circle. “The book said alchemy works on ‘equivalent exchange’ so I figure to bring back the greatest journal of all time, I need at least a hundred other literary works of comparable genius.” To ensure no substandard works had become mixed in, Twilight read off each title as the books floated past. “Jane Neighre, Nobody’s Foal but Mine, Romancing Mister Colterton, and finally Windigo in Winter. Well that’s all of them.” The lavender alicorn said with an approving nod, as several more strands of her mane popped out from their normally straight position.

Twilight surveyed the room; and, once she was certain everything was perfect, the little alicorn moved to the edge of the circle. “Okay, here goes nothing.” She reared up on her hind legs and came down with force on the outer edge of the circle as she once again lit her horn. Suddenly the room began to crackle with immense energy. “Yes, yes, yes it’s working. My plan to restore my order to Equestria is going to happen. Soon I will be able to…” Suddenly a flash of light and blast of wind filled the room, knocking Twilight back against the wall. When she began to open her eyes, she noticed that all of the book shelves in the room were empty. “What! My books! Where did all of my precious books go!” The lavender mare said, frowning. She then noticed the circle touched the base of each book shelf. “Arrrgh, way to go Twilight, this is why we triple check, so things do not go wrong.” She stood slowly and finally gazed upon the spot that was the center of the circle. There laid a solitary tome, surrounded by crackling energy. Her ears flattened “Only one… For losing all these books you think I could get at least a couple filled volumes along with my current journal, you know for inspiration. I only had like, two entries in my current journal.” Twilight slowly approached the single book and lifted it in her magic. Twilight suddenly stopped as she read the title. “Wait a minute, this isn’t my journal. The title isn’t even in any language known in Equestria!” She screamed and pulled at her mane with her hooves. The book floating in front of her had a simple block letter title, Show Journal of M. A. Larson.

----------- M. A. Lurveson -----------

Across Equestria, in the capital city of Canterlot, the two princess sisters were enjoying their afternoon break. Celestia sat enjoying a cup of tea while her younger sister sipped on a large cup of coffee.

“Seriously Luna, why do you insist on that terrible choice of beverage? I always have more than enough tea to spare.” Celestia said to her sister.

“Well dear sister, thou dost not need to stay awake late into the night and then visit the dreams of thy subjects, thus continuing her duties even as she tries to rest her weary head,” proclaimed Luna as she took a long drink from her cup. “We seriously miss the moon sometimes. At least there we could get a good night’s rest.”

Suddenly the two sisters froze in place as a strange sensation shot up their spines. Luna recovered first, simply returning to sipping her coffee. Celestia however, wore an expression of concern.

“Luna did you not feel that?” posed Celestia.

“What about it dear sister? T’was simply an indication that a great and foreign magic hast been used in our lands.”
Celestia scowled at her sister “and this doesn’t lead you to concern why?”

Luna rested her cup on its coaster before she began to speak. “Sister, hast thou not felt this before every major disaster to befall our lands since my return?” The Princess of the Night queried. Celestia gave a small nod to confirm. “Well dear sister, we were both powerless to stop the disasters then and surely will be now. So we say carry on as usual until the exact disaster is discovered and then find the solution, most likely involving that prized former student of yours.”

Celestia looked at her sister as she returned to her coffee. “Really sister, ignore it and enlist Twilight to once again save the day?”

“Of course Tia. It’s worked every other time. Besides she is most likely already involved.” Luna replied as she dropped several more sugar cubes into her coffee.

Celestia let out a small laugh as she looked down and rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. “You are right sister, I just hope it does not endanger our little ponies too much this time.”

----------- M. A. Lurveson -----------

Twilight carried the book over to the table and set it down. She took a seat and began to read. “Hmmmm, ‘My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic’ Season 5 Episode…” she read aloud “Hey, the number is smudged…oh it mentions something about me and a guard transferring from the Crystal Empire named Flash Sentry?” Twilight’s face suddenly wore a look of disgust “Well that just won’t do, I don’t even know him so how could I possibly be involved with this imaginary pony.” Twilight proceeded to use her magic to rip out the pages already filled with writing. She suddenly felt a tingle in her spine as if some great magic had just been cast. She also couldn’t help but feel she heard some distant scream of heart break, but cast that notion aside. “Well that was weird,” said Twilight as she grabbed a quill with her magic “Let’s try this again. It may not be MY journal but I did summon the greatest journal in existence, so hopefully it will…”

Twilight froze in mid-sentence as she brought a hoof to touch the page she was about to write on. She felt as though she was looking at her entire universe in a split second, her head filling with the knowledge of years past and years to come all in one instant without actually knowing the truth. “Whoa, what was that?” She asked as she withdrew her hoof, it feeling slightly warm from where it had touched the page. “It’s like I could see everything, but nothing all at the same time. Like I know what I want is right in front of me but I know I could never have it becau…”

Twilight stopped mid-sentence. “ That’s it!” she screamed. “Oh this is perfect. This will be one of my greatest works. I knew this would bring back my inspiration.” Twilight brought the quill to the page and furiously began writing. “It was a warm spring afternoon at Sweet Apple Acr…”

----------- M. A. Lurveson -----------

Applejack finished placing the sapling into the hole she had dug and filled it in with soil. “Well that’s the last of them. Thanks for all yer help Rarity.”

“Oh it was nothing really, what are friends for if not to help out.” Rarity began to move closer to Applejack, carefully avoiding the exposed dirt from the day’s work. “Now let’s go get you cleaned up. You’re absolutely filthy.”

Applejack looked at her body and smiled back at Rarity “Well rumor has it you like yer ponies a little dirty.” Applejack nearly shoved her hoof straight down her throat.

“Why in tarnation did I say that?”

Applejack saw Rarity’s eyes go wide, clearly not having missed what Applejack just said. “Uh sorry, sugar cube, I have no idea why I said that. The sun must be getting to me heh.” Applejack said meekly.

“Don’t worry about it, no harm done darling. Now let’s get you cleaned up. I remember Granny saying something about a lunch for us.”
The two began to trot towards the farm house. Rarity followed Applejack down the path, noticing the glistening sweat on her flanks. “Wait what? Why in Equestria am I thinking about that? Applejack is one of my best friends, and a mare to boot. Maybe the sun is getting to me too.” The white unicorn thought to herself as they continued to move along in silence.

They soon arrived at the farm house. “Okay Rarity, I’ll go in and wash up. I’ll jus be a few minutes.” Said the orange mare as she turned to enter the house.

“Or, we could just rinse a dirty mare such as yourself off with the hose, seems more fitting.” Said Rarity as she nudged her friend’s flank. They both stared at each other wide eyed until the white unicorn broke the silence. “That is to say, I am a little warm and could use cooling of and figured you could as well, heh, heh.” Both ponies looked away from each other.

“Okay Applejack calm down. This is probably just payback from earlier. She couldn’t possibly mean anything by it. I mean, it’s Rarity and I know she wouldn’t say something so unlady-like. It must be the sun gettin to both of us for me to even think she would be serious. I mean she knows a) we’re both just friends and b) we don’t swing that way.”

Rarity was exploding on the inside. “Why did I say that? What in the name of Celestia’s sun is happening? I don’t have those thoughts. I am a lady and as such I am pure. I do not find mares attractive, in that way at least. Luna, please drop your moon on me and take me out before I die of embarrassment.”

The two friends finally looked at each other. “Well you go ahead and hose off. I’m gunna go and use the proper facilities, like a lady.”
Applejack, quite pleased with her little quip, left her behind.

Rarity watched the orange mare disappear inside the house. She then hit her head against the nearest tree. “Come on Rarity, get it together.” She trotted over to the hose and doused herself in the cool water. “Maybe a cold shower is what I need. Help me clear my head and all.”
Applejack emerged from the house to find Rarity dripping and shivering. “What in tarnation! I didn’t think you’d actually do it. That water’s gotta be freezing.”

Rarity replied through chattering teeth “Oh i-it’s okay d-darling. The s-sun h-helps a lot. N-now where’s-s lunch?”
Applejack started towards the Apple family gazebo. “Applebloom and her friends set it up over at the gazebo for us. Thought the shade would be nice in the late afternoon,” she explained. “But we could always move since en’ your soaked now.”

“No n-need darling. I-I’m starting to warm u-up already.” Said Rarity with a half-smile. The two came upon the site of their picnic and stopped, eyes going wide.

“What the hay!” yelled Applejack. “I swear I’ma tan the hide of that little rascal of a sister of mine.”

The picnic was laid out under the gazebo, complemented with heart shaped sandwiches, champagne and candles. “W-what!” Rarity cried, a sudden warmth of rage and embarrassment dispelling any chills she was still feeling. “Please do tell me that my sister is not involved with this.”

The two ponies stood, scowling at their lunch, unsuccessfully trying to will their sisters in front of them do bring down swift retribution. “Well, it is a bit odd, but I for one think the spread is lovely and could definitely use a drink,” the alabaster mare stated flatly.

“Yeah I agree, no use lettin’ perfectly good food, or alcohol, go to waste,” the farm pony replied. The two sat down as Rarity began to use her magic to uncork the champagne.

“Despite the, um, suggestive look, this picnic is quite charming when you really get down to it.”

“I agree, and the sandwiches do look tasty.”

Both mares stopped their conversation as Rarity filled their glasses with the nectar of romance that had been left for them. “Cheers to a job well done, and a hearty thanks to one of my best friends fer helpin me out.” Applejack said as she clanked her glass with Rarity’s in an impromptu toast. Both mares downed their glasses, refilled, and downed a second without a second thought, in hopes of forgetting what had already transpired.

“Oh Applejack, you certainly do know how to flatter a lady; but, really, we have been friends since we were foals. I, for one, could never miss the opportunity to aid such a dear old friend.” Rarity said in a slightly sing song tone.

“I know Rarity, but it’s always nice ter have ya over, work or fun,” replied the orange farm pony. “Now let’s see what kind a sandwiches we have here.”

Applejack surveyed the sandwiches and picked a large daisy sandwich. She took a bite and chewed with a great deal of satisfaction. Rarity, looking at her friend from across the table, noticed that a large glob of mayonnaise had seated itself on Applejack’s nose. She slowly got up and reached across the table, bringing her eyes to meet her friends. She reached out and gently removed the offending glob. “Rari… umph.” Applejack was cut off by Rarity’s hoof placing the glob back into her mouth.

The orange mare started to feel incredibly uncomfortable; but, the feeling mysteriously vanished as she continued to stare into the large sapphire pools that were Rarity’s eyes. “This is so wrong! Why’m I even thinkin this?” Applejack thought to herself. “She’s mah best friend, she’s mah best friend…” Applejack suddenly pondered the thought that maybe this wasn’t so wrong. Maybe just maybe it was, just right. She drew herself closer to the alabaster mare’s face. She felt the warm breath of her companion on her soft lips as she…

“Twilight! Twilight…”

----------- M. A. Lurveson -----------

Twilight looked up from the page, a look of shear disappointment on her face. “Awwwwwww but it was just getting good,” the little alicorn whined.

Spike slowly peeked his head around the corner, having remembered just what that sound meant when it came from Twilight. As his eyes met his keeper’s, he saw them filled with rage. Twilight wished she could disintegrate the little dragon with lasers from her eyes. Oh sure, with magic she could really do it; being in prison sure would give her plenty of free time to write.; but, she was Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, beloved student of Princess Celestia. Yes she was a good pony, so that just wouldn’t do.

“Yes, Spike?” Twilight said through gritted teeth.

Spike meekly replied, while wringing his hands “Um well, you see it’s getting kinda late and there’s no food in the fridge and there was no breakfast or lunch today so…”

Spike’s sentence was punctuated with a loud growl from Twilight’s stomach. “Eh heh, heh, heh… Okay fine I guess we both need to eat.”
Twilight admitted with a small blush.

“Yeah. Remember what happened last time you didn’t eat on one of your ‘special study sessions’,” Spike replied in a flat tone. “We had to have Applejack and Rainbow Dash carry you to the hospital when I couldn’t wake you up.”

“Yes, now we wouldn’t want that, again. Now take these bits and get us some food at the Hay Burger,” the lavender mare said as she dropped a rather large bag of bits on the table.

“Wow, really Twi. Are you serious? We never get junk food for dinner!” The little purple dragon screamed with excitement. He ran up and grabbed the bag and bounded off towards his favorite sinful indulgence, well second only to those cheap colored quartz they make low quality jewelry from anyway.

Twilight got up and stretched her hooves, trying to shake off the aches from hours of hunched over furious writing. She froze suddenly taking in a few sniffs. “Sweet Celestia’s Plot, is that me?” Twilight thought aloud as she moved her nose closer to her underarm and took another long sniff. “Blech! Okay, bath time while I wait for Spike to get back.” Twilight trotted off towards the bathroom; but, not before closing and hiding her new journal.

----------- M. A. Lurveson -----------

After standing still, muzzles less than an inch apart with lips pursed for at least ten minutes, the two mares suddenly were able to move. “Um, I, uh, maybe…” The white unicorn started, a deep red blush spreading across her face.

“I, uh, ya said it Rares…” Applejack replied a similar blush turning her orange coat beet red.

“I just remembered I have some very important last minute orders that will keep me locked in my boutique for the next week and simply cannot be disturbed.” Rarity said so fast that Applejack had to take a few seconds to process the words that had rushed from her mouth.

“Uh yeah, I got a lot of work that’s gunna keep me busy too, cuz ya know, apples,” Applejack replied looking away from Rarity, as she couldn’t bring herself to look at her friend. Applejack shot her hoof out for a hoof shake, which Rarity obligingly returned before both mares galloped off towards their respective homes.

Author's Note

Hope this wasn't too terrible a read for anyone who ventures to indulge in its trashy shipping. More chapters to come in time. A great thanks to my wonderful some pony for proofreading this (although I edited it some without sending it back to her to read again :-p). Let me know what you think!