Love is like a Box of Donuts

by Captain Unstoppable

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Comedy, Big Macintosh, Sex
Length: 4470

Hearts and Hooves Day is a time to appreciate that special somepony that makes your life complete, or in the case of Rainbow Dash completely forget. Can she find a gift in time for Mac who had already surprised her with gifts or did he ruin it all?

Hearts and Hooves Day is a time to appreciate that special somepony that makes your life complete, or in the case of Rainbow Dash completely forget. Can she find a gift in time for Mac who had already surprised her with gifts or did he ruin it all? Join in Dash's race to find the perfect gift for her coltfriend, or has the damage already been done?

Thank you to Jake the Army Guy,jszellmer, and Crowquill Symphony for the edits.

Credit for picture goes to horsefan999

Published 2015-02-15 02:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-15 02:20:02 UTC

Love is like a Box of Donuts

Love is like a Box of Donuts

Rainbow Dash let out a contented sigh as the hot water hit her body, soothing her muscles and letting the steam relax her. There was nothing like a hot shower to start off a day, especially a day full of relaxation! Dash couldn’t help but smile as she lathered some shampoo into her mane. While she would sooner clip her wings then let anypony—especially Rarity—know it, even the loud, unabashed tomboy enjoyed a good soak and mane washing every now and then. It was the first day off she’d had in weeks, and it was the one day a week she allowed herself to take a break from working out.

Turning off the water, she climbed out of her shower and gave a hard shake, coating the bathroom in specks of water, which was absorbed right back into the clouds to be reused later. Today she just planned on relaxing, maybe vegging out on couch as she read a book and ate some junk food. She grabbed a towel from the rack and gave her mane a vigorous scrub.

Looking herself over in the mirror, she gave a nod of approval before opening the door to the bathroom, letting all the steam rush out with her. She grinned. “Thank you, thank you!” She blew a few kisses to the imaginary crowds cheering at her epic entrance, then giggled at her own foolishness. The only hard decision she was going to have to make today was which of the new Daring Doo books she was going to read.

However, she didn’t make it more than a few steps into the hallway when she felt a pair of massive forelegs wrap around her from the dark.

“Happy Hea—”

With a totally not fillyish squeal, Dash’s instincts instantly kicked in. She rose to her hind legs, grabbed the back of the forelegs, and hurled her body weight forward, throwing the intruder over her back and onto the cloud floor below. Dash followed the airborne intruder with practiced ease, flipping her body and landing on the intruder’s chest, one hoof poised in the air, ready to strike.

“Well, Ah’m happy ta see that you took them self-defence classes seriously,” Big Mac coughed, as he tried to regain his breath. His light orange mane whipped behind him, as he looked up with Dash with those bright green eyes and a smile.

“Celestia above, Mac! Just because I gave you the keys to my place doesn’t mean you can drop by anytime you want and scare the Hell out of me!” Dash grumbled, nevertheless leaning down and giving him a light peck on the nose before getting off of him. Mac just laughed as he got to his hooves and shook his head.

“But it’s okay fer you ta pound on ma window in the middle of the night ‘till Ah open it?” Mac asked, taking a step closer to Dash and nuzzling against her.

“Please, like you could complain about that.” She gave him a wink as she returned his affection. “But what brings you by? You never visit me in the morning.”

“Well Ah decided ta take the day off. Doubt Applejack will mind with her out in Cloudsdale, and Ah bribed Apple Bloom with doin’ her chores fer a week so she don’t say a word.” Mac looked down and Dash and smiled. “Meaning we got the whole day to ourselves,” Mac whispered in Dash’s ear sending a chill down her spine.

“Oh?” she laughed, as she looked at him with half lidded eyes, “And what is the special occasion for all of this?” Mac just chuckled as he placed his head on top of hers.

“You silly filly, it’s—”

At that moment, a scent drifted into the bedroom and into her nostrils. A smell so divine and wonderful that all her attention was ripped away from Mac and towards it, as she took a few steps towards the door, causing the large stallion to fall over due to her absence.

“Mac, what am I smelling?” Dash got up her back legs and started to sniff the air like a hungry dog. “Is that… you didn’t...” Dash’s eyes grew as wide, a tiny line of drool already hanging from her lower lip. Getting off of the floor, he gave a small nod to Dash before she took off towards the kitchen, almost causing a Sonic Rainboom in her wake.

The scent of cinnamon, fresh lemons, and just a bit of sugar was as irresistible as the song of the sirens. There was only one object in all the world that could make that smell, and it was within Dash’s reach. She had not smelled that delicious combination since she was a filly when her dad would make it for her birthday.

Turning into her kitchen, she saw the object of her desire: sitting upon her counter, filling her house with the immaculate scent, was a lemon meringue pie. A piece had already been cut away and was waiting for her next to a large glass of milk. Despite her best efforts, a warm lump formed in her throat as she approached the slice of heaven on her table. To have that pie in her home, baked by her coltfriend, was almost too perfect. The scene could only be better if her coltfriend had brought her a full barrel of cider instead. Regardless, this day, that was only going to be great, had just turned into one of the best days ever.

“Thought ya might enjoy that,” Mac’s deep voice came from behind her. “Remembered ya sayin’ how much ya liked that pie so Ah decided ta bake one fer ya. Not as easy as Ah thought it was gonna be, but Ah think you’ll enjoy it.” Dash’s smile just grew as she looked at the pie.

“Mac, you are the best!” Dash shouted as she leaped to the counter and took a large bite out of the piece he had cut for her. Instantly, her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she tasted the amazing pie: the sweet yet sour combination felt like a lightning bolt of pure amazing had struck her tastebuds, followed by the calming trace of cinnamon. She let out a soft moan as she chewed the special treat.

“Enjoying it?” Mac asked, sitting down at the counter next to her. The only response he got was the continued scraping of her fork against the plate as she devoured what was left of the slice. After a few seconds the slice was gone, and Rainbow had let out a loud belch of satisfaction.

“That was great, Mac!” Rainbow sighed happily, as she licked up a few crumbs off of her plate. “But what’s the deal? You never take the day off work, and I don’t remember ever seeing you bake. You here to tell me that you're seeing another mare or something?” She laughed, as she began to cut herself another slice.

“Course not hun, yer more than enough filly fer me,” Mac said, as he pushed some of Rainbow’s mane out of her face, causing her to shake her head to let more of her mane fall into her face as she took a bite of the pie. “Ah just wanted to make our first Hearts and Hooves day special.”

In that instant, the slice of pie heaven in her mouth slide right into the wrong hole. Dash’s face started to turn a bit blue and her eyes watered fiercely, slamming her hooves against the counter as she tried to get a breath in. Mac took action right away, getting behind his marefriend and placing his hooves right under her chest, and started to push up. It did not take long for Dash to finally cough up the piece of crust lodged in her throat.

“Whoa there, Dashie,” Mac said, patting her on the back as he moved the glass of milk towards her. “Gotta pace yerself. Ah know Ah’m a good cook, but no need ta kill yerself over it.” Dash took the milk at chugged it, not only to sooth her now sore throat, but giving her time to think.

Buck! Buck! Buck! How did I forget about Hearts and Hooves day?! Rainbow thought, her eyes darting from Mac to the pie. Mac took the day off for me and made me a pie, and all I could think about was taking the day off! I am such a lousy marefriend! Think, Dash! Think!

“Dash? You okay? The glass is empty.” Dash looked down at the class in her hooves to see that it was indeed empty. Mac just gave a low chuckle as he started to cut a piece of pie for himself. “Its okay if ya forgot, Dashie. Ah know ya been busy. Ah’m just happy ta spend the day with ya.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Dash shouted, slamming the glass on the counter. “Of course I didn’t forget it was Heart and Hooves Day! What kind of marefirend would I be if I forgot?!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Mac said, holding up a hoof. “So, did you get me something?”

“Uh, duh! Of course I did!”

Mac’s ear perked up at that. “Oh, okay. What is it?”

“Um... w-well, it's... it's uh... something so awesome, sexy, cool, and, uh... that mere words cannot describe it! Yeah! You'll just have to wait and see!” Dash nervously laughed as her cheeks turned slightly red. She slapped herself mentally as she watched Mac’s face light up like a colt on their birthday.

“Well… you see, I didn’t expect you so early! I was going to go pick it up while you were at work! Yeah, that’s it! So you just have to wait till I get back!” Dash said, getting to her hooves and making her way to the door. “So just hang out here, cowcolt, and I promise you it will be a gift you’ll never forget!” Dash declared, before taking off to Ponyville, leaving behind a very confused Big Mac.

--

Dash zoomed over Ponyville, her eyes darting to store to store trying to find something to catch her eye that Big Mac would like. Unfortunately, the whole town had been covered in decorations for Hearts and Hooves Day. Banners, streamers, balloons, the entire town was covered in shades of reds and pinks. Growling in frustration, Rainbow kept circling the town like a bird of prey seeking its prey.

“Okay, what does Mac like?” Dash asked herself, as she zoomed passed town hall. “Okay he likes to farm, apples, and… uh…me?” Dash was drawing a blank. How did she not know what her coltfriend liked? They had been going out for almost a year, and the only things she knew he liked was his job and her. Landing in the middle of the street, Dash started to rub her mane furiously, trying to think.

Mac had known about how she liked lemon meringue pie, which she only had talked about once at her birthday before they had even dating! He had even taken an entire day off to spend it with her. Dash gave a deep groan of aggravation as she slapped her hoof against her head. He had gone above and beyond what was needed, and all she wanted to do was spend the day by herself.

Looking around the street, Dash could see several couples walking around without a care in the world as they spent time with their special somepony, all probably knowing that the other liked and could get gifts for. In her frustration, Dash started to stomp down the streets of the town trying to see if anything could remind her of what Mac liked.

But to her dismay, the stores, that were still open, only had Hearts and Hooves Day items in their windows. Everywhere she looked there were overpriced chocolates, flowers, and what not. None of it worth a second glance. All the while she racked her mind trying to remember anything Mac might have let slip that he liked. Food, books, trading cards anything!

But nothing came to mind. Mac had always let her dominate the conversation, listening to problems and giving subtle advice. He had been the perfect coltfriend to her, why she was lously marefriend to him. She needed to find something, anything, to show him this was not a one-sided relationship.

Scanning the area again, Rainbow’s eye fell upon the bright pink building of Sugar Cube Corner. A memory started to form in Dash’s mind, it flickered in and out like a candle in a storm, but it was there.

Sugar Cube Corner had been the spot of their first date. It was after the whole ordeal with Lord Tirek and Mac was still working off a near death experience. Once Rainbow and the girls had gotten back, he had marched right up to her and, with his face fixed, asked her out on a date. Sure, it wasn’t the most romantic gesture that there had ever been, he didn’t even get her flowers, but seeing that determination, Rainbow had happily accepted.

The bakery had been one of the few places that was not damaged in the attack, and was the only place that might have been acceptable for a date. They had sat down and ate those little pastries filled with cream while they talked. It would become the first of many dates between the two, and before long they were a couple.

Smiling at the memory, Rainbow marched up to Sugar Cube Corner, intent on buying as many as those pastries as she could. She could just say the rest of her gift was not ready and would get it to him soon, this would be a nice little treat to keep him busy.

Happy with herself and the plan forming in her mind, Rainbow didn’t notice the sign on the front door of Sugar Cube Corner, and ran right into the locked door.

“What the buck?!” Rainbow Dash growled, as she fell onto her back holding her nose. Looking up, she saw what was probably one of the strangest sights she had ever seen in her life. On the front door of the bakery, instead of normal sign saying open with a smiley face, was a closed sign. “When does Sugar Cube ever close?” Rainbow Dash asked herself, getting to her hooves and shaking the dirt off of herself.

Marching up to the door she started to pound on it, she was not going to be denied this. She needed those strange pastries and get back home now! “Pinkie! Open the door! Come on, I need your help!” Rainbow shouted, the door rattling with each blow. Her efforts were in vain, for nopony ever came to the door. She didn’t even hear the sound of the twins.

Determined to succeed, Rainbow Dash took the air again and started to fly around the bakery in search of Pinkie’s bedroom. Maybe, for once in her life, Pinkie partied a bit too hard and was trying to sleep it off, but that did not discourage Rainbow one bit. It actually drove her to find the pink mare faster for all the times Pinkie had woken her up for a rough night.

Finding Pinkie’s room was no trouble at all, for it was the only one with balloons outside the window. Flying up to it, Rainbow started to pound on the window. “Pinkie wake up! I need your help right now! I don’t care how tired you are this is a emergency!” Rainbow shouted, as she kept hitting the window.

On the other side of the window Rainbow could hear sudden burst of movement as hooves scrambled on the floor, followed by what sounded like Pinkie trying to keep somepony quite. Finally, the windows were pushed open and Pinke emerged.

“Hey there, Dashi Washi! How are you doing today?” Pinkie asked, standing there smiling like always, but what she was wearing really caught Rainbow’s attention.

For she was wearing a black mask that covered just her eyes, a black leather collar, a one piece leather outfit, with what seemed to a riding whip attached to her waist. Pinkie also seemed to be sweating and out of breath, with her mane matted and disheveled. Behind her, Rainbow could just make out what seemed to be Caramel tied to Pinkie’s bed with chocolate syrup on his chest. Such a sight seemed to stop all function in Rainbow’s mind as her wings failed and she fell back to the ground below.

Rainbow Dash hit the ground hard as her mind tried to process what she had just seen, the pain from the fall not even registering due to the sight. Was Pinkie wearing a… Carmel tied to a bed? Rainbow’s mind didn’t seem capable of grasping what she had just witnessed, or what it all meant.

“Oh wozie, Dashie! That looked like it hurt!” Rainbow looked up to see Pinkie was standing above her, no whip or leather clothing to be seen. Cocking her head slightly, Dash tried to comprehend what was going on around her.

“Uh… Pinkie. Were you in a dominatrix out—”

“Oh don’t be silly, you silly goosey woosy!” Pinkie laughed, as she helped Rainbow Dash up. “Why were you banging on my window? Did you need a hug? Hugs for everypony!” Pinkie laughed, gripping Rainbow Dash in a bone crushing hug. The pain of the hug woke the pain deep within Dash’s back from her fell making her give a short yelp.

“Pinkie… let… go!” Dash growled, trying to push Pinkie off of her. The pink mare just laughed before she did let go of Rainbow, which caused the flyer to launch herself a few feet.

“What brings you here, Rainbow?” Pinkie asked, as Rainbow pushed herself back up again. As Dash looked up, Pinkie seemed to keep looking over her shoulder into the darkened bakery as if expecting something to happen. She was not bouncing in place, or acting very much like herself and she seemed to force her smile. Chalking it up to one of those times she did not ask, Rainbow made her way back to her friend and the bakery.

“Pinkie, I’m a idiot! I totally forgot today was Hearts and Hooves Day! Mac did something really cool for me, and I don’t have anything! Do you have any of those little pastries things with the cream in them?” Dash asked, making her way to the bakery. But before she could even make it into the doorway, Pinkie had stepped right in front of her and sat there blocking her path.

“Nope! Nope! Nope! Fresh out!” Pinkie laughed, as she likced her lips. “But those sure are yummy!” Rainbow looked at her in disbelief before shaking her head.

“Fine… how about a cake? Like a cake with writing on it? How about ‘To the best Coltfirend Ev—”

“Sorry! No cakes today either!” Pinkie giggled, as she fidgeted ever so slightly as she kept looking inside the bakery.

“No cakes? What gives, Pinkie!” Rainbow shouted, extending her wings and hooves. “How can you have no cakes? Where are the Cakes? Shouldn't they be baking all this stuff?” Pinkie just giggled again as she booped Rainbow on the nose.

“Oh silly! The Cakes left the twins with their grandma and went on vacation this week for their second honeymoon! Leaving me in charge this week!” Pinkie said, continuing to laugh as she stuck her head inside.

“Then why is the shop not open? Shouldn't you be working today?”

“I did, silly! We sold out in minutes and I closed the store! We still have these if you want them,” Pinke extended a bright pink package filled with donuts shaped like hearts. Looking down at the box Rainbow Dash gave a light snort.

“Pinkie, these are past their expiration date! They're all probably really stale!” Dash said, pointing to the label on them. “Now I don’t care what you are doing Pinkie, I need you to bake me—”

"Uh, Pinkie? You still there?” Came a voice from upstairs, “The syrup is starting to stick to my fur and I think a fly just landed on my d—"

"Be right there!" Pinkie shouted, before turning to Dash. “Sorry Dash! Got to go!” And before Dash could say another word, Pinkie slammed the door on her, leaving the box of donuts.

Dash just stood there for several seconds, her mouth agape and one eye twitching uncontrollably. Everything she had heard and witnessed was almost too horrible to describe. She would never be able to look at Pinkie or Caramel in the same way again.

She shook her head. “Okay… I’m never eating there again!” Dash said, as she took the box of donuts in her mouth and took back off for home. She would either have to come clean to Mac about not being able to get a gift ready, that she totally forgot about the holiday. Or she could just say the rest of his gift was on its way.

Giving a sigh, she knew she had to come clean. No matter how much time she had, she didn’t know what to get him. She had no idea how Mac was going to react, he looked so excited when she told him that her gift was so super awesome. Holding the box of donuts she just flew back home defeated.

--

Dash slowly the open the door to her home and looked around, almost expecting to see Mac sitting there waiting for her and his super gift. Thankfully, Mac was not there to greet her. She closed the door as quietly as she could before making her way to the kitchen. She was almost dragging her hooves against the floor, as if trying to delay the inevitable.

Poking her head around the corner, she saw that the pie was covered in tin foil and Mac was standing at the sink cleaning the dishes. Not just the one Rainbow had ate off of, but the dishes she had used all week but never cleaned, making her feel even worse than before.

He was just too perfect, and she wasn’t.

“Howdy there, Dash, Ah didn’t hear ya come in,” Mac said, turning off the water to face her. “Got a bit bored waiting fer ya so Ah cleaned a bit,” Mac laughed as he looked to the sink. As he looked away Dash shook her head and tried to strengthen her resolve. She might have not have gotten him the best gift, but she was not going to look weak in front of him as well.

“Sounds like you should be dating Twilight,” Rainbow laughed as she walked up to the counter. “First thing you do when you get bored is clean? Kind of nerdy if you ask me,” Mac just chuckled.

“Eeyup!” He said, with pride in his voice. “But Ah know you love it,” he added, circling around the corner to give her a light peck on the cheek. As he did, he looked down to see the pink box in Rainbow’s lap. “Is that fer me?” He asked, his head tilted slightly. Dash’s cheek flushed red as she looked down at the box.

“Happy Hearts and Hooves Day,” Dash grumbled, as she thrusted the box into Mac’s chest, biting her lower lip as she did. Taking the box into his hooves, Mac placed it on the counter and opened it.

Inside were a dozen donuts shaped like hearts, and if the hardening of the icing on them were an indication of anything, they were very stale. Looking to Rainbow, she was looking away from him, her cheeks the slightest shade red. While it was not what she had promised him, Mac just smiled as he took one of the donuts out of the box and bit into it. Soon Mac was chomping down donuts like they were the first thing he had eaten in weeks.

Rainbow just starred in amazement as Mac munched down on donut after donut, a smile seem to be ever present as he ate the stale treats. One by one Mac ate the donuts, till the box was completely empty; the only trace of them were the crumbs in the box and the icing on Mac’s lips.

“Ah got ta say that was one of the best Heart and Hooves Day gifts Ah ever gotten.” Dash just kept staring at him in bewilderment, as Mac licked his hoof, getting the bit of icing off it before grinning widely. “Thank you Dash,”

"Buh.... but those were crap! They were a week old, they were stale, they were—"

"They were from you."

"Uh..."

"That's all I ever cared about, honey." Mac whispered, as he inch forward and pressed his lips against hers. Rainbow could taste the icing left on his lips, making the kiss even more blissful than normal. "As long as you got it fer me, and it let me spend a few more minutes with you, it was the best present Ah coulda asked fer." Mac placed his forehead against hers and smiled.

Rainbow just looked into those green eyes of his, looking for anything, anything at all that might show something else, another motive. But just like his sister, Mac seemed incapable of telling a lie, no matter how hard he might try.

“You're just way too perfect,” Rainbow laughed, as she pushed against him grinning.

“Ah’m only perfect because you make me—” As Mac’s mouth opened, deep within him his stomach rumbled, releasing a monster that surged through Mac’s body before he had time to even close his mouth.

*Burp!*

Mac’s eyes went wide as saucers as he quickly closed his mouth and looked into Dash’s face in panic. Her eyes were screwed shut and her face scrunched up. Dash opened one of her eyes, glaring at Mac as she did.

“Perfect, my flank,” Rainbow said with a grin as she opened both her eyes. Mac merely chuckled as he leaned in and kissed her again.

“It is pretty perfect,” Mac laughed, as Dash moved her head slightly to nuzzle up against his thick neck. Dash just chuckled into his neck as she rested against him. He was indeed the perfect stallion for her. He made up for all of her shortcomings, and in return all he asked was to spend time with her, and nothing more.

“I love you, Mac.”

“I love you too, Dash.”

Author's Note

So ya... this happened. Happy Valentines Day people! A day in celebration of St. Valentine, who got his head chopped off because he was trying to convert the emperor! Very romantic!