The Ballad of the Brony 2: Into the Brony-hole
It was a warm summer day in the little town of Ponyville, which reminded some visitors of a hobo that ate to much candy and vomited on his colored naked lover’s chest. The fresh summer flowers were in bloom and the honey sainted wind cascade over the pony grandmothers nude sunbathing in the fields, there winkled husks flubbing in the breeze.
In Ponyville hospital a doctor named Miss Cupcakes for her tits could hold an oak tree and leak out coke mixed with whisky milk from there swollen nips. Miss Cupcakes had just finished her daily brutal romantic conquest of the teenage stallions, her need for their life essence made her more sex crazed then a seven catholic priests fighting over an oiled up quire boy. Cupcakes was once a Canterlot-whore-around-town and also a murderer as she would take their bodies and taxidermy them into full sized dildio statues.
Cupcake walked over to her office and smiled at the signed photo of Bill o Reilly her demonic lord and savior. She looked throw her paperwork and asked a pony waiting outside to come inside her…office. This pony was the ‘new guy’ Iron Pin who was one of Steve the talking vagina personal slaves and it was her job to get the slaves mentally prepared for their new lives.
Iron Pin sat on the sofa and began to tell her his fanfiction involving Steve and Luna.
Long ago in a beautiful enchanted land of adventure…
There was the King of Dark Magic, Louie the Third who was feared by all for his power over darkness which was absolute and extremely terrifying to the point of cardiac arrest and the miracle birth of Jesus… but let’s not get into that.
During the battle with the self-righteous pompous ass of a Hero supporting the peasants, Louie lost his head… literally. Not his penis-head. His actual head.
Long after the battle the Hero wanted to use the Dark Ones head as a trophy, except he had a better idea and that was to reanimate the head with immortality in the worst place imaginable.
Princess Luna woke up from another night of sleep; if you could call it that as her second head moved around in bed like a relentless snoring husband hell bent on disrupting the sleep of the entire household.
Luna rose out of her velvet blood red covers like a vagina coated in a sheen of period blood and walked to the mirror.
She turned around and lifted her tail to show her giant, royal moonie.
“Louie are you ok?” Luna asked Louie, who was vomiting blood and shards of womb-like flesh.
“Sorry about that Lulu, I think I got food poisoning.” Louie coughed with smile on his wrinkled old face.
“Well as long as you don’t have crabs again…”
Louie sighed. “Well you shouldn’t had sat on the beach without protecting your flank from invasion!”
Luna blinked. “Listen… do not back fart me. I place my flank wherever I want!”
“Because you are the night?” Louie rolled his eyes.
“Don’t do that!” Luna yelped.
“Do what?!” Louie replied in alarm.
“Roll your eyes! I can feel it!”
Louie rolled his eyes.
Luna moaned rather loudly, her Louie clenching as the eyeballs rolled from every direction that is compatible for those who are attached to a hairy pony-human hybrid vagina that can reach to the stars if it had to. “Stop it!”
Seeing as she was now awake, Luna and Louie began their day in discreet earnest, her tail swishing and swashing with glee, much to the chagrin of her delicate petal.
Luna levitated her toothbrush to her not-so-happy vaginal canal and began cleaning Louie’s teeth one by one, removing the harsh, yellow liquid excrements that coated them from various stains that ranged from the tears of fat, crying, gay, homophobic male virgins; nuns with long neckbeards that resembled female dwarfs, interdimensional creatures that think condoms are actually used as codes of honor, and Dave: a red-eyed demonic creature whose ideals came from the vagina who gave birth to it.
Aaaanndd… because Dave’s dick is so damn tasty.
It seems it was that time of the month when he is a leaky faucet: a bleeding manifestation which spewed waterfalls uncontrollably from his eye sockets, a sight often beheld whenever Luna graced the visage of a cake, one large chocolate cake sent in by the heavens above.
Louie grabbed the super-sized toothbrush with his flexible tongue: an old wrinkled human right hand fused to his metallic extension cord with octopus tentacles covered in a suspiciously familiar sheen that resembled a stain on a young teenager’s bed.
Luna quickly brushed her long, moon-cratered hair as Louie cleaned his nose with a toothpick that he summoned from Luna’s ass, which might had smelt a touch of tacos.
The royal duo blinked rapidly: the sense of Luna’s emergency making them pulse. She needed to use the little alicorn facilities, which were inoperable… to an extent.
Luna realized her back load of burning bloody liquid was contained within the confines of Louie’s glistening sac as he remembered a time when that foul rotten smell would make him vomit rainbows and tropical versions of Sunny D.
Wishing Luna would stop eating tacos at midnight and receiving oral pleasure from old stallions with large horsey dingers, Louie whipped Luna’s flank with the royal traditional dildo with convenient sliding doors that reflected harmful moony parodies of light and proceeded to journey to the dining room to meet Celestia and Steve: the roaring engine of the true light.
Celestia was eating some sugarcubes as Steve, her talking tentacle raring horse entrance which was reminiscent of a jellyfish was reading the morning paper. Once inside, Luna joined Celestia in eating sugar cubes while their vaginas talked as if everything was normal in the world, unlike those pandas down at the club who loved to get with Iron Pin that had a clown car for extra effect.
“Good morning there Steve, old chapped.”
“Ah, yes good morning Louie old scamp - not that you smell like one of course! HAHAH! Did Luna eat from Tico Terrifying Tacos again? You smell like a burning hobo having a period…”
“Yes, she got into some; and by the lord i do smell rather fowl today but it will pass. Eventually.”
“Well i just turned another brony into a pony slave today...I swear these bronies taste like spaghetti doused in the tears of young fat virgin girls.”
Suddenly an explosion happened outside the castle.
The royal vaginas looked out their balcony to see hundreds of ponies running around Canterlot and the castle courtyard with pitchforks and torches. It would seem the enslaved bronies-turned-ponies have started a revolution known as ‘the admins are sleeping, post ponies’ movement.
Louie quickly got Luna to go to a nearby closet to put on his golden shining condom. With a sword in Louis tongue-hand he set off to kill some bronies.
With a swipe of his tongue, he lopped off the head of various neck-bearded dorito warriors.
Upon the meeting of the leader of the brony movement, Skeeter, Louie spared his life, forgiving him for his awesome black body and trans-dimensional abilities.
Steve and Louie met in the heat of battle and kissed; well as much kissing as a jellyfish-like vagina and a human head vagina can kiss that is.
Various white and red fluids busted from there collision, as Steve’s tentacles entered Louies eyes and mouth, pumping his white gold into his orifices.
With that Louie set off to slay some slaves and managed to get to the entryway to meet a few of the vermin.
Louie fought like...well like a octopus with a sword. Which is quite wiggly. Ripping bronies heads off and slicing their organs out of there pony bodies.
The battle raged for an hour until a brony with a floppy disc smashed Louie out.
Steve and Louie were found guilty of crimes against bronies and were executed.
This is the true story of how Equestria was reborn from the hooves of bronies.
Louie’s last words before he was finally free of his curse, was...
“Fuck you Narnia.”
After Iron pin was done with his fanfiction reading he soon died, in fact everypony in Equestria died
The End
