Personal Trainees

by Yoshi89

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rarity
Length: 4810

The Cutie Mark Crusaders try to help Spike lose weight by becoming his personal trainers.

Spike has put on some weight after a slow week at the library, so much that Rarity refuses to take him gem hunting. Things go from bad to worse when Twilight puts him on a diet and he realizes how much he'll miss eating gems and his favorite fattening foods. The Cutie Mark Crusaders see this as an opportunity to earn their personal trainer cutie marks and put Spike on an exercise program in hopes that they'll get him back in shape.

EDIT: Popular Story on 2/15! Thanks, guys!

Published 2015-02-15 22:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-15 22:40:01 UTC

Weight Watcher

Spike greeted the morning with a big yawn as he stretched in his basket. His master, Twilight Sparkle, was already up and about, immersed in a forest of books. Business at the library had been slow for the past week. Twilight had all the time she needed to study, leaving him cooped up with practically nothing to do aside from his daily chores. Most of the letters they received from Celestia were just friendly updates from Canterlot, making Twilight feel all the less homesick. Spike treated it as if she had given him the week off, ignoring the affect too much relaxation could have on one's waistline. He never had a reason to watch his weight—he was still a little dragon nonetheless.

Spike rolled out of bed and waddled past Twilight to the front door of the library, his distended gut wobbling with each step. He then pulled open the door to discover his nourishment for the day already on the doorstep. "Guess the milkmare came early," he said before picking up a bottle and guzzling some of it down. He let out a sigh and a smoky belch, then patted his belly. I'm sure Twilight won't notice a half-full bottle, Spike thought as he took the crate to the kitchen. After stocking the bottles, he shuffled past Twilight again and headed back outside.

"I'm going gem hunting with Rarity today," Spike announced from the front door.

"Have fun, Spike!" Twilight called to him as he walked outside. He licked his lips as he walked towards Sugarcube Corner, the strong odor of sweets begging for him to indulge. He opened the door and as he shuffled to the counter, his eyes darted from side to side at all the baked goods the ponies chowed down on. Pinkie Pie poked her head behind the counter and Spike's stomach rumbled when their eyes met.

"How can I help you today, Spike?" Pinkie Pie greeted him with her usual smile that nearly split her lips in two.

"I'm hungry," Spike produced a few bits. "How about a dozen chocolate chip cookies, Pinkie Pie?"

"Coming right up!" Pinkie Pie took the money and bounced into the kitchen, returning moments later with a box containing Spike's breakfast. The odor of the fresh-baked cookies overpowered Spike's nostrils as he accepted the box from Pinkie's hooves. He found an empty table and after a quick session of eenie-meenie-miney-mo, he plucked a cookie and got ready to bite down.

"A cookie without milk is like Celestia without the sun," he reflected. "Where would we be without daylight? And where would I be without Rarity? I bet she'd like some of these cookies, too."

So Spike dropped the cookie, closed the lid and waddled out of Sugarcube Corner. He hummed to himself as he continued his way through Ponyville, stopping only when he saw Rarity already outside Carousel Boutique from a distance. Seeing that she wasn't alone for the journey, he dropped the cookies and rushed over to confront his replacement.

"Spike!" Rarity gasped as the dragon came closer. "What in Equestria has gotten into you?"

"Why are you going gem hunting with Rainbow Dash?" Spike asked, his eyes wider than dinner plates.

"Because," the sky blue pegasus flew in front of Spike. "If there was a cave in, I'd be the only pony to save Rarity's plot. You couldn't get her out fast enough."

"Fast enough?" Spike repeated. "What does that even mean?"

"Rainbow Dash happens to be in tip-top shape," Rarity said, prodding Spike's gut. "Just look at you! Your cheeks aren't the only things about you that's chubby."

"But-but I'm not fat!" Spike protested. "This here is dragon muscle!"

"Sure," Rainbow Dash deadpanned. "You could set a belly-pressing record."

"We must get going," Rarity reminded her new mining partner, turning to look at Spike one last time. "Not to worry, Spike, you'll always be my widdle pudgy dragon."

Rainbow Dash zipped by to adjust Rarity's saddlebag straps but in doing so, accidentally knocked Spike to the ground with her wing. The poor dragon log-rolled down Carousel Boutique's walkway, grunting and yelping until he finally hit a tree. With his weight and dizziness, Spike found it difficult to even stand. "Sorry!" Rainbow called as she and Rarity left him behind. After they disappeared into the horizon, Spike growled with rage, then hanged his head and shuffled over to pick up the box of cookies. After making the long, tiring walk back to the library, he pushed open the door and greeted Twilight with a heavy sigh.

"Back so soon?" Twilight asked, lifting her face out of the book for the first time all morning.

"Rarity won't let me help her," Spike groaned. "She wants me to lose weight."

"You certainly won't if you keep snacking," she said, snatching the cookies out of Spike's claws with her magic.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, jumping in a feeble attempt to reclaim his prize. "Just because she said it doesn't mean I'm going to!"

"Then maybe it's for the better," Twilight recommended, levitating the box on a high shelf in the kitchen. "Spike, do you realize how much weight you've gained recently?"

"I'm a growing dragon," Spike defended himself.

"It's your eating habits that are making you grow out instead of up," Twilight corrected him. "Let's measure your stomach."

Spike's heart sank as his master walked to the supply closet to fetch a spool of measuring tape. She wrapped it around his flabby midsection and came close to fainting when she read the measurement. Spike could do nothing except blush and hold back a chuckle. "See what I mean?" she asked, lowering her brow. "You need to cut back. I admit, I've been snacking a bit more than I should, too."

"Gee, I hardly noticed," Spike quipped, looking the librarian's figure over.

"Spike," Twilight shot back. "Beginning today, I'm putting the both of us on a diet."

"A diet?" Spike shouted, his eyes bulging. "What am I supposed to do?"

"This book should help," she levitated a book from one of the shelves. "Everything you should and shouldn't eat is in here."

"Can't you just magic some of this weight off me instead?" Spike pleaded.

"I could," Twilight said, "but if I do, you're never going to learn how to keep it off."

"Then how long will I stay on this diet?"

"As soon as you trim that gut," she answered. "Oh, and another thing. No cheating!"

Those last two words shook Spike like a dry leaf hanging from a tree at the end of autumn. As Twilight buried her muzzle back in her studies, Spike tucked the diet book under his arm and waddled back out of the library. He sat on the front stoop, reading healthy recipe after healthy recipe and groaning louder and louder after each. Those reads later demoted to skims and those skims later turned into a book slammed shut on the doorstep. Spike buried his face in his claws as the sound of an oncoming cart found its way to his ears, accompanied by a deep masculine singing voice:

"With my eyes on the cattle and my hooves on the horn,

I'm the best dang cow-colt ever was born,

Singin' ki-yi-yippie-yippie-yay, yippie-yay—"

"Big Macintosh!" a second farmpony's voice interrupted him. "Can ya cut the singin' at least 'til we get to the marketplace?"

At the first sight of the two siblings, Spike hopped off the doorstep and bounded toward their farm wagon. Applejack called, "Whoa!" and Big Macintosh stopped short with the cart coming within inches of giving his plot a gentle love tap. "Howdy, Spike!" Applejack trotted to the baby dragon. "Anything off the wagon today?"

Spike glanced over to the cart, filled to the brim with apples and baked apple goods of all shapes and sizes. Spike licked his lips and rubbed his stomach as he scanned all the delectable treats. "Everything looks so good," he said. "Gimme an apple fritter."

"Comin' right up!" Applejack promised, hopping in the wagon.

"Say, Applejack," Spike remembered as he caught the fritter tossed to him. "I'm curious."

"'Bout what, sugarcube?"

"You wouldn't happen to know how many calories there are in one of these, would you?"

"Betcha didn't know this," Appejack informed him. "Me and Big Mac go through our food like a storm tears through the prarie. We burn it all off by buckin' trees, you know."

"Eeyup," her brother nodded.

"So I reckon one of our fritters has gotta have four hundred calories at least," Applejack told him.

"Four hundred calories!?" Spike gasped, clenching his teeth. "In that case, I'll pass."

"Suit yourself." Applejack took the fritter back and she and her brother walked off. She took one look at Spike walking slowly to the library before catching up to Big Macintosh. "Big bro?" she spoke to him. "Spike's all down in the dumps. I bet he's fixin' to drop a few pounds."

"Eeyup," Big Mac nodded.

"There's gotta be somethin' we can do. I just can't stand to see him mopin' like that."

Big Macintosh maneuvered the cart further away from the library and his sister followed him in the direction of the town square. They stopped again in front of the clock tower where two pieces of wood each in the shape of a ramp lay there, spaced about a pony's length away. Glancing further down the cobblestone path, they could barely make out two fillies giving a third some words of encouragement as she embarked on her scooter.

"Apple Bloom?" Applejack called out to one of them. "Stayin' away from trouble?"

"Horseapples!" The yellow filly on the ground flinched and looked her sister's way. "Sure am, Applejack!" she shouted back.

"As long as trouble promises to stay away from us," the orange filly on the scooter mumbled as Applejack approached the three foals.

"Apple Bloom? You, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle oughta pay a visit to the library," Applejack suggested. "Spike could use some cheerin' up."

"Is he all right?" Sweetie Belle, a white unicorn with a curly pink and purple mane, asked.

"He's been put on a diet," Applejack replied. "And by the looks of things, he'd rather starve than eat healthy."

"How come you can't help him?" Apple Bloom inquired.

"I'd love to, sugarcube, but didn't y'all forget?" Applejack told her. "Big Mac and me are on our way to the market. These apples ain't gonna sell themselves."

"We'll help Spike!" Scootaloo grinned. "We can be his pony-sonal trainers!"

Apple Bloom shrugged. "That's great and all but how are we gonna keep Spike from eating?"

"Yeah," Sweetie Belle agreed. "Have you seen how many gems he can put away on a daily basis?"

"Come on, you two," Scootaloo berated her friends. "Where's that Crusader can do attitude?"

"You're right," Apple Bloom was convinced. "Spike needs our help."

"Let's do it!" Sweetie Belle grinned.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER WEIGHT LOSS TRAINERS! YAY!"

"Good luck, you three!" Applejack waved to the crusaders as she and Big Mac took off for the market. Scootaloo jumped on her scooter and her two friends hitched their towing cart before hopping inside. Once Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gave the all clear signal, Scootaloo powered her friends past the town square and off to the library.

"Hey there, Spike!" Scootaloo shouted as she parked her scooter in front of the tree.

"Hi, girls," Spike replied as Scootaloo pulled Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle out of their cart.

"How's it goin'?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Bad."

"Why bad?" Sweetie Belle wanted to know.

"Rarity won't let me go gem hunting with her anymore," Spike disclosed, poking his gut. "She thinks I'm too fat to help her."

"You do love to eat," Sweetie Belle reminded him. "All those gems can really add up."

"All I had was some milk this morning," Spike went on, pointing to the library. "I'm so hungry I could take a bite out of this stupid tree."

"Maybe you should," Scootaloo remarked. "Trees are high in fiber."

"I need help," Spike pleaded. "I've been on a diet for thirty minutes already and all I lost was a half hour."

"Dieting's one thing," Apple Bloom said. "You need to exercise, too."

"I guess that can't be any worse," Spike shrugged.

"Just leave it to us," Sweetie Belle reassured him. "We'll turn your flab into fab in no time."

"You can?" Spike asked, his eyes glimmering. "Oh, I'd be so thankful."

"We better get him some workout clothes first," Scootaloo suggested.

"Why not my sister's boutique?" Sweetie Belle offered.

"I reckon she makes clothes for dragons, too," Apple Bloom said. "Especially Spike."

Spike hopped in the wagon along with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. The weight of the third passenger forced Scootaloo to buzz her wings to the point of near-exhaustion. She towed her three friends across Ponyville's paths, swerving a bit to accommodate Spike with him and the other fillies warning her of oncoming ponies along the way. They finally stopped at Carousel Boutique and Scootaloo staggered off her scooter after she parked it at the front door.

"I'll wait out here," she panted.

Sweetie Belle reached for her key to the boutique, unlocked the front door and ushered the other three inside her sister's house to the inspiration room.

"I think Rarity still has the swimming trunks she made me for our trip to the Bahaymas," Spike said, opening a dresser drawer.

"Here's hoping the elastic still works." Sweetie Belle dug through the drawer. She pulled out a blue bathing suit and gave it to Spike. He stepped in it, pulled it up and tied the string around his waist.

"Rarity wasn't kidding when she said I'd grow into it." Spike blushed.

"Got any running shoes?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Spike motioned her over to the closet. "Rarity has about a dozen shoes for me that I never wear. I've gotta have at least three pairs of sneakers."

"Here, Spike," Apple Bloom whistled. She had picked up a white T-shirt and yellow headband that Sweetie Belle had tossed to the side. After helping Spike into his clothes and shoes, the three met Scootaloo back outside.

"How do I look?" Spike asked her.

"Those clothes will look better on you once you've dropped those pounds," Scootaloo told him. "Now, let's start with some jumping jacks."

Spike nodded and walked a few feet away from the fillies to begin his workout.

"One! Two! One! Two!" The CMC chanted as Spike synched his jumping jacks. After about a minute, the effects of Spike's weight gain started taking its toll. He panted as he slowed down his jacks, his headband became absorbed with sweat and his tongue hanged from his mouth.

"Keep at it, Spike!" Sweetie Belle broke the chant. "You can do it!"

"Yeah," Scootaloo gave a hoof's up. "Remember, no pain, no gain."

Then why am I in agony? Spike thought, slowing down his routine to a mere waving of his arms.

"Okay, let's try something else," Apple Bloom said upon seeing Spike fall on his bottom.

"How about sit-ups?" Scootaloo suggested. "Rainbow Dash has to do at least a hundred a day to stay in shape."

"Why not one sit-up every one hundred days?" Spike asked, catching his breath.

Apple Bloom facehoofed. "It ain't gonna work that way."

"Maybe Spike should go jogging," Sweetie Belle offered.

Scootaloo nodded. "We can have him run through town."

"Can I pick where I can jog?" Spike stood back up.

"Go ahead," Apple Bloom permitted. "We'll be right behind you."

Still out of breath, Spike waddled a few steps toward the bridge and slowed down when she started the ascent before breaking into a jog on the way down. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle climbed into the cart and Scootaloo drove her scooter off with them in tow.

Spike ran through the streets of Ponyville, passing by the town square and the clock tower. He rounded a corner and bounded through an alleyway, finding the vast marketplace on the other side. The baby dragon had never seen so many rows and rows of tents and wagons, their vendors juggling between their products and their customers. He cut through the aisle, passing fruit stand after fruit stand until the smell of hot fresh doughnuts seeped into his nostrils. His mouth watered as he happened upon the corner tent whose flag bore the cutie mark of his favorite shop-keep.

"I'd better get some fuel," Spike reassured himself, "or I'll never finish this jog!"

"Spike!" Donut Joe exclaimed, watching the baby dragon crawl onto his counter. "Never expected to see you here on market day. How may I help my best dragon customer?"

"Half a dozen, please," Spike ordered.

"Here you go," Donut Joe picked up six doughnuts and tossed them into a bag with some powdered sugar. Spike jumped off the counter while a scooter carrying his trainers veered down the market towards the same doughnut stand.

"What's he got in the bag?" Sweetie Belle tapped Scootaloo's withers, dodging her wings.

Scootaloo shook her head. "I don't know but we're gonna find out!"

Spike sat down behind the tent and reached into the bag. He plucked one of the doughnuts, brought it to his mouth and opened wide. "Hey, Spike, what's that ya got there?" Apple Bloom's commanding voice caused him to drop the doughnut back in the bag. Scootaloo propelled her scooter so she could stop snout to snout with the hungry dragon.

"Here," Spike chuckled, his snout turning a deep red. "I bought these especially for you."

"Thanks," Scootaloo sarcastically remarked, snatching the doughnuts from his claws. "Now, get up!"

Spike moaned, hoisted himself back to his feet and resumed his jog. The CMC watched him until he ran back to the main row of tents and continued his jog. Scootaloo opened the bag and glowered as she showed the baby dragon's purchases to her friends.

"Who does he think he is?" Scootaloo yelled. "I knew we couldn't keep him away from these unhealthy, fattening, sugary, mouth-watering, delicious..."

Spike ran out of the marketplace and down a dirt path into one of Sweet Apple Acres' orchards. Might as well get some fresh air, he thought as he bounded through. The brief rest he took before the fillies confiscated his doughnuts brought some of his energy back and he kept a steady jogging pace through the orchard with the farmhouse in sight. He scurried around the chicken coops, stopping to catch his breath once he reached the farmhouse. The smell of fresh-baked apple pie permeated his nose and his ears picked up gentle hum of an elderly farmpony. He knocked on the door and when it opened, there stood Granny Smith, an apple pie fresh from the oven resting on her walker.

"Well, howdy, Spike!" Granny squealed, looking down at her visitor.

"That apple pie looks pretty good, Granny Smith," Spike rubbed his stomach.

"Old family recipe," the elderly earth pony boasted. "I was fixin' to have this all by myself but it's so much pie."

"May I have some?" Spike grinned. "Please?"

"Of course ya can, Sonny!" Granny exclaimed, resting the pie in Spike's heat-absorbing claws. "Let me go grab a knife first."

Spike took a big whiff of the treat and licked his lips as Granny Smith trudged back in the farmhouse with her walker. He then closed his eyes and let the taste settle on his tongue before biting into thin air. He opened his eyes again and did a double take—the pie was gone!

"Not so fast!" Apple Bloom's voice echoed behind him. Spike twisted his head and jumped when he discovered the CMC behind him, their muzzles smothered with sugar, sprinkles and doughnut crumbs. Scootaloo had rested the apple pie on the scooter which she parked by the front door.

"That pie's only going to make it harder for you to lose weight," Sweetie Belle warned him.

"We can share, can't we?" Spike offered. "Just one piece?"

"Not even a crumb," Scootaloo shut him down. "Keep jogging!"

"Oh, all right," Spike groaned and ran off again.

"Hey, Scoots," Apple Bloom whispered as Spike ducked into some brush. "If Granny Smith baked that pie, I reckon we should have some!"

"Yeah," Sweetie Belle nodded. "Your grandma makes the best pies ever, Apple Bloom!"

"Well, I still have a little room," Scootaloo shrugged.

Spike rushed through the woods out of Sweet Apple Acres, staying only on familiar paths clear of the Everfree Forest. He followed the chirping of merry songbirds until they led him all the way to Fluttershy's cottage. He slowed down to a walk before straining to lift himself onto a window ledge. Inside, Fluttershy hovered toward Opalescence and set a bowl of cat food down at her paws. Spike drew his attention toward the bowl, his gut growling in agony as the pegasus stroked Rarity's pampered cat. Once Fluttershy left to take care of her other animals, Spike darted his eyes around the room until he fixed them on a ball of purple yarn under a wooden chair. He creaked open the window and tiptoed past Opal who opened her mouth towards her bowl and stuck out her tongue.

"Hey, Opal, look!" Spike hissed, tossing the yarn in the air. "Wanna play?"

Opal took one glare at Spike, closed her eyes and turned away. Spike looked skyward for a few seconds before snapping his claws.

"Oh, Opal!" Spike squealed in his best falsetto, slitting his eyes and placing the yarn behind his head. "Just look at how filthy you've become! You need a bath!"

A screeching Opal pounced towards Spike who ducked at the last possible moment. With the cat distracted, Spike waddled away, picked up the food dish and jumped out the window. He set it on the grass but before he could chow down, an all too familiar voice called out to him.

"You better not, Spike!" he heard Scootaloo call from a distance. Sure enough, the scooter emerged from the woods, bearing the apple pie-covered faces of the crusaders. As she buzzed her wings, she looked at Spike instead the direction of the scooter.

"You ain't eatin' that on OUR watch!" Apple Bloom shouted.

"Hey, look out!" Sweetie Belle yelled, pointing at the cottage. "I think we're gonna-"

CRUNCH!

Spike cowered from the impact of scooter meeting cottage as well as the three fillies' collective grunts. He barely had time to think as Scootaloo's apple pie-covered face rose from the bars, catching him with the bowl of cat food in his claws.

"I knew it!" she exclaimed, snatching the bowl.

"Come on, girls," Spike begged as the shadows of the other two crusaders loomed over him. "Please? I gotta have something at least."

"Yeah," Apple Bloom remarked, "but cat food?"

"Any food would do at this point," Spike said. He hopped back on his feet but froze when he took one look at the window. Not moving his shrunken pupils, he mumbled to the crusaders, "Gee-that-was-fun-thanks-bye!" before running away as fast as his legs could carry him.

"Wow," Apple Bloom remarked after Spike vanished into the woods. "I reckon we're better at this than we thought."

"Does that mean we got our marks?" Sweetie Belle beamed. She checked her flanks while her friends checked theirs. After fifteen seconds of looking with their friends checking to make sure, they each let out a dejected sigh.

"I wonder why Spike was in a hurry to continue his run, though." Scootaloo shrugged.

Scootaloo got her answer from an ear-piercing screech atop the windowsill of Fluttershy's cottage. The crusaders looked at the mess on their mouths and at the bowl of cat food Scootaloo still possessed. The three glanced slowly behind them until they found Opal getting ready to pounce from the windowsill, slitting her eyes and waving her tail at them.

"That's why," Sweetie Belle said as Scootaloo set the bowl on the ground. This did not please the cat who pounced from her perch, missing Scootaloo by inches. She waved her claws as the crusaders cantered away from the house. As soon as they were out of her sight, Opal hopped on Scootaloo's scooter with a smile that crossed her entire face as she sat there to eat her lunch.

Without the comfort of Scootaloo's scooter, the crusaders panted their way until they reached Sweet Apple Acres. They stopped to catch their rest in the shade of a large apple tree, holding their stomachs.

"Whew!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "I'm beat! How about you guys?"

"I'm tired and I have a tummy ache," Sweetie Belle moaned.

"Me too," Apple Bloom panted, holding her stomach.

"Come to think of it, me three," Scootaloo realized. "I wonder what happened."

"It must have been all that junk food we ate," Sweetie Belle guessed.

"But we made darn sure to keep Spike away from it," Scootaloo said.

"I reckon we had to keep ourselves away, too," Apple Bloom sighed.

"Maybe we should take care of our own bodies before we try to take care of Spike's," Sweetie Belle recommended.

"Ditto to that," Scootaloo grumbled in reply.

"So much for being ponysonal trainers," Apple Bloom huffed.

Meanwhile, Spike slowed his pace until he was sure he had travelled far enough Fluttershy's house. He had his head down, not realizing where he was going until...

"Spikey!" Rarity waved to him from outside Carousel Boutique. That alone gave him the strength to jog over to meet her. "Oh, Spike, could you ever forgive me?"

"Forgive you?" Spike wrinkled his snout. "How?"

"I never knew gem hunting with Rainbow Dash could be so uncouth!" she complained. "She kept flying into walls. I feared the place would cave-in!"

"Then, who will you take when you go again?" Spike asked. "Remember? I'm out of shape."

Rarity's eyes widened but shrank back to normal as she leaned next to Spike. "Who would I not take?" she spoke. "Spike, you and I are a team. You have stood by me through thick and thin so why should I care if you are thick or thin? If you want to change yourself, don't do so to make me happy because I would not know whether you are pleased with your image or not. Your loyalty to me knows no boundaries and there are no words I can use to describe how thankful I am to have you in my life. I would never settle for anypony else since your quality matters so much more than your quantity."

Spike sniffled, bringing a claw to his eye to catch a tear. "Rarity, you've just made me the happiest dragon in all of Equestria. I feel like a tremendous weight's been lifted off my shoulders."

Rarity chuckled at the dragon's quip before reaching in her saddlebag. "Here, Spike," she said. "I put aside some of what we found just for you."

Spike held the hoof-ful of gems Rarity gave him and stared at them. He glanced back at the unicorn mare and back at the gems again, not even licking his lips.

"Well? Are you hungry?" Rarity asked.

He glanced back at Rarity with a big grin. "I know just what to do with these."

Twilight flipped another page in her book and felt her stomach rumble. I'm so hungry, she thought. I hope Spike doesn't mind if I get something at Sugarcube Corner. She pushed the book to the side, closed her eyes and, with the magic she built up, teleported herself to the front door of the bakery. She opened the door and as the welcoming bell rang, her jaw hit the floor.

"Oh no!" she cried. The shelves that normally housed the many baked goods were ransacked, crumbs covered every square inch of the floor and tables were flipped over. In front of the counter, a bloated dragon let out a sickly moan and a green-flamed belch that could have sent shock waves throughout Ponyville. Spike shook his head from side to side, sighing in relief when he found no scrolls on the floor. His shorts, his shirt and even his headband ripped, unable to accommodate the extra pudge.

"Oh, he-hey Twilight." Spike smacked his lips, rolling his eyes and his body toward his master.

"Spike! Your diet!" Twilight called, trotting over to his side.

"Relax. The diet can wa” – Spike hiccupped – “'Scuse me, wait. Besides, the Cakes even said my gems were good here."

"Spike, you should follow by example," Twilight scolded him. "You don't see Rarity gorging on sweets."

"Of course you don't," Spike assured her.

"Well, that's a relief," Twilight sighed.

"Not here, at least," Spike continued. "She's in the kitchen finishing off some cakes I had Pinkie Pie make just for her."

"She's WHAT!?" Twilight facehoofed.

"What can I say?" Spike worked a smile. "I know how to treat a lady."