Pregnancy is not an illness!

by MLPAllGrownUp

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 2306

Pregnancy is not an illness! But it doesn't matter how many times Princess Celestia reminds ponies they just won't treat her the same. She ruled the country alone for a thousand years for Tartus sake, eleven months of pregnancy is nothing!

Pregnancy is not an illness! But it doesn't matter how many times Princess Celestia reminds her servants…
…or the guards…
…or her sister…
they just won't treat her the same. She ruled the country alone for a thousand years for Tartus sake, eleven months of pregnancy is nothing.

It's tagged AU just so people don't moan about any of the issues about pregnancy - if it's not true or matches your view, consider it Alternative Universe. And considering we are talking about magical talking ponies, that sounds fair to me!

Just a short story of a couple of chapters…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-13 23:30:02 UTC

No I did not raid the kitchens again

“I really think you need to stop eating so much cake sister, thy figure is not what it used to be.”

That voice. That annoying chirper voice first thing in the morning. I had just left the private sanctuary that was my bedroom and my sister was waiting for me with a sarcastic comment as always. I gave her a scowl but she knew I didn’t really mean it in the same way I knew she was only being checky because that's what sisters do to each other.

As we started heading towards the royal dinning room for breakfast, Luna started filling me in with the news from the evening and night. Nothing major had happened and Equestria seemed to be in a nice period of peace. It was after all one reason it seemed a fitting time.

“So what do you think sister, should we start the reform of the tax laws before or after this years annual returns are due?”

I groaned as I hate tax, and all things to do with finance “Can this wait until after breakfast? I’m pretty tired.”

“Why? Aren’t you enjoying have a lie in and actually waking up after dawn for a change? Or did you spend all night snacking?”

A few months ago between the doctors advice and my sisters continuous nagging, I gave up controlling the sun and let my sister handle both. Given I controlled the sun and moon for a thousand years, I had every confidence Luna was up to the task at least for a short period. But it was still a little unnerving to give up one of my most important tasks as a Princess.

But, my magic was getting weaker every day and it was best to keep my reserves for the two most important things - an emergency and the growing foal within me.

“No, I did not raid the kitchens again! Have you ever tried to get comfortable with a swollen belly…”

“I don’t have to, I can control my cake intake unlike you” Luna deadpanned in reply

“...and somepony poking your bladder from within?” I continued.

Luna smirked as if she had thought of a response, no doubt a little salty given the humour that often accompanied nighttime comedy. Her face then softened a little “Everything going okay though?”

“Of course Luna” I smiled at her, gently bumping again her as we walked. She may be ‘giving me the business’ but it was done with love. The over exaggerated fall over routine she did as the ‘wrecking ball’ known as her sister hit her made a nearby guard laugh, until he saw me glare at him.

It didn’t take long to reach the royal dinning room. I looked down at my plate, and the healthy breakfast laid out. Wheat cereal with semi skimmed milk with some sliced bananas. Nutritious, but hardly delicious, but thats what the doctors ordered.

Eggs were cut to one breakfast a week, a sunday treat.

Hay bacon was right out.

What's worse, no coffee and not even tea either! Just a selection of fruit juices available to me. Caffeine may be harmful to the foal I was constantly reminded, so that also meant chocolate cake was banned until after the birth.

So, mornings were annoying that not only had I been stripped of my favourite duty of the day, I was then dragged out of bed to a boring breakfast. Stupid pregnancy and it’s stupid rules.

I sighed at my own thoughts. Of course I didn’t mean that, I would do whatever it took to look after my baby, no exceptions. Even if a nice strong coffee to start the day would be heavenly on the mind, body and nostrils! I knew I instinctively rubbed my own belly as I thought this and practically whispered to myself I’ld do anything for you, little one.

With my breakfast reluctantly eaten whilst Luna enjoyed a hearty supper, we started towards the throne room. We walked in silence for a few moments, the sound of our walk being the only noises in the castle. But even that was different.

My hooves had swollen too much to fit into my golden shoes, and it would have been a little too extravagant to get some temporary shoes made up. Besides, walking with bare hooves helped with the pain in my back. Still, it was weird not to have the familiar click of metal but the more familiar clop that my subjects would be used to.

As we approached the entrance to the throne room where I would start day court, Luna’s horn lit and the sound of running water filled the hall. I tried to shut the sound out of my mind, but it was no use. The bathroom was only a few steps away, so I scowled at my sister as I turned into it.

One day Tia, one day you’ll get revenge on Luna. Just bide your time, just bide your time!

I exited the bathroom to find Luna still beaming happily outside. I scowled at her again, but this time started laughing along with her. I couldn’t really do anything else in my present state.

“If you weren’t having such a healthy pregnancy, I would not be teasing you so Tia.” Luna gently nuzzled me before starting to walk away “Besides, you’ve got a total of less than a years uncomfortableness. Try being stuck on the moon for a thousand years!”

“You have to stop using that excuse sometime” I replied

“Maybe in a thousand years... Have a wonderful day in court -” Luna’s voice raised in volume as she walked away “ - I’m off to bed!”

I sighed, and turned back towards the throne room. The door was shut and a guards stood on each side, ready to open them for me. The elder one looked professional but the younger pony on the other side was clearly trying to suppress a smile. I walked over to both of them.

“You think what Princess Luna did was funny?”

“No Princess Celestia” the elder guard replied with a stoic face.

“Yes Princess Celestia” the younger pony spoke.

The elder guard almost fell over in shock, and I turned to face the young pony with a raised eyebrow “You found that funny?”

“Princess Luna is also a Princess, Princess. And it was a rather funny prank, the sort of thing my sister would have done to me…” The guard tried to remained composed “...And I believe it was right to be truthful to you rather than to lie, Princess!”

My face soften a little “Thank you for your honesty Private. Now, lets get day court over with shall we?”

The two guards opened the doors and I entered the throne room, packed full of important ponies as well as many ponies seeking attendance with me. And off to the side stood Discord, whistling nonchalantly. As soon as my first foot hit the floor, a tuba appeared around his neck and he started playing a tune[1] as I waddled the few steps.

1 -

Youtube Video

I stopped and despite scowling externally at the pranksters antics, I smiled inwardly. Discord was the only pony currently treating me as he always did. As soon as a started walking again the tune started up.

The guards eyed up the draconequus but knew there was nothing they could do to stop him. Besides, most of them had to try to stifle a laugh themselves. The nobels seemed to be more outraged by Discord, but lots of the other ponies also found it amusing. Besides, if it kept Discord out of serious mischief, a little indignity was worth it.

After reaching the other end of the hall, I lay down on a large cushion. My throne had been removed as it was too uncomfortable to sit on it in the way it was designed. So, a cushion had to do. I noticed Discord shoot me a quick salute before disappearing. No doubt I would seem him again when I next needed to make an entrance.

Now, lets see what the day will bring

Day court was always boring and even at the best of times it was sometimes a struggle to stay awake. Combine sleeping issues with a lack of caffeine and it was probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do with the exception of hurting a pony in an alternative universe who loved me.

A mare was approaching the front to speak when something she said broke me out of the slight distraction.

“Are you okay, Princess?”

“I’m fine.” I replied with my most friendly face “I’m just a little tired and my little one is poking me in the ribs.”app

“My foal hasn’t started the kicking stage yet...so I can only imagine?”

“You’re expecting?” I perked up and looked at the mare. She was just starting to show the first signs of pregnancy and was easy to miss had she not mentioned it.

The mare raised a hoof to her belly instinctively “Yes your highness, five months now.”

“Congratulations!”i replied, then winced as a kick hit right in a sore spot She must know that I was thinking about another foal I joked to myself. “Heh. Sorry, she’s being a little feisty today”I half laughed.

“Oh, can I feel?” the mare asked, before her face suddenly feel in

A common issue pregnant mares will complain about is everypony’s desire to feel the foal bump. However, being a divine being of ultimate power, nopony had ever had the courage to ask me, except my sister of course. I could only image the fear the mare had right now, as to some what she had just asked was blasphemous.

“Of course, come forwards.”

With a little trepidation, she started to walk up. I could see the guards nearbe tense up and I looked over to them “Don’t worry” I whispered “I doubt she will harm me in any way...even if she tried”

The petite mare approached and very carefully laid a hoof on my belly. Almost immediately, as if my foal could sense it, I could feel the kick roughly where her hoof was.

The mare giggled slightly “That was a powerful one...isn’t it painful?”

“Most of the time, no” I reassured her as any pregnant mother would to another “Sometimes they can get a particular spot, but normally it’s a lovely feeling.”

She retracted her hoof and bowed to me “Thank you Princess”

“Now, you were hear for a petition?”

The mare retreated back to the public stand. “Of course, your highness. My name is Silver Joy, and I am here with a proposal from the Equestrian Health Service. It is painfully obvious to many of us in the maternity services that many ponies, and other creatures, struggling to feed and clothe their newborns.”

“What do you propose?”

“Scandineighvan countries have this system of ‘foal boxes’ provided for by the government. It’s a starter kit with clothes, sleeping bags and accessories to help new parents in the first few months where there are extra costs, and usually only one pony working. Even the cardboard box it all comes in is used as a bed.”

“I am aware of such things. It is wonderful that every creature from all walks of life have exactly the same start.”

“Indeed your highness. The box has helped them achieve the lowest infant mortality rate on Equus, something that I feel is shameful that this great nation cannot match.”

Her impassioned speech really spoke to me. My foal of course will be born into a life of luxury, and will want for nothing - I will make sure of that. But for so many others it will be a struggle...it was indeed shameful.

“I actually have something to add, Princess” Fancy pants stood up.

“Come forwards, Mr Pants” I nodded to one of my dearest friends, although the public didn’t know that.

“You tasked me with a way of finding tax raises to be more...palatable...for business owners. This has been an interesting discussion as you can imagine. Whilst we obviously respect the sovereignty of our Princesses, we are reluctant to give up hard earned bits for no reason.”

“However, I came here today with a proposal that had been agreed upon. Being able to link tax raises to specific programs will help make sure that we don’t feel our bits are going to waste. By my quick calculations, a tax increase of 1% set aside for pre and post natal care would be enough?”

I smiled. Fancy Pants was one of the few nobles that cared about everypony else, but tread a fine line between showing that, and keeping the nobles on side. However, the nobles saw him as a moderate who kept an extreme views from impacting on their way of life.

His proposal was perfect. By him linking the raise to my pregnancy in a round-about way, there was no way that anypony could object. And once the concept had started, it would be hard to stop.”

I turned to Silver “What do you think Nurse Joy, can you get the boxes started?”

“Well, if the funds are guaranteed I will get suppliers signed up right away!” she replied estactitly.

“Excellent, you have a good couple of months before the Castle will be seeking one…”

“You your majesty?”

“Yes, I can see no perfect start to the scheme then for my own foal to spend his or her first night in the same bed as any other Equestrian born from that point on.”

Discord flashed into the room “A cardboard box? Don’t you have enough empty boxes from midnight deliveries from Donut Joe's lying around?” he smirked, before disappearing again.