Not Important in Equestria

by Insert Clever Name

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1213

Not Important goes to Equestria, has a good time, considering they aren't human.

His burning hatred for all of mankind had left him cold and empty.

Ponies aren't mankind.

He likes the ponies.

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How did this happen? How am I the first person to make a Hatred x pony thing?

Seriously, no art, no other fics, not even a fucking 'PONY REACTS TO HATRED TRAILER!' thing.

I'm honestly fucking astounded.

Oh look at that, someone narrated it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxuApEgX-vI

Published 2015-02-16 16:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-11 05:23:00 UTC

Seriously, how?

"It's a beautiful day today." Not Important mused. He was currently wandering Ponyville, not going in any particular direction. Taking in the sights and sounds, he didn't hear the clip clop of hooves creep up behind him.

"It sure is, Nonny!" Pinkie said, trying to surprise him.

"Ah, hello Pinkie." He greeted her, not being surprised in the least. "How are you today?"

"Darn it." She cursed, seeing as he wasn't surprised. "How are you never surprised?"

"I've told you this plenty of times, Pinkie. Years of practice." He smiled, and continued to wander.

"So, where are you going?" She asked, following him.

"I don't know, really." He said. "Just kind of wandering around, I guess." He said, as he kicked a rock out of his path.

"Well, then this is perfect, I can give you a place to go!" She said.

"Really?" He asked, out of curiosity.

"Yep! Twi said she had a surprise for you!" She said, excitedly. "She said it had something to do about your..." Her voice took on a much darker tone. "Dark and mysterious past."

"Pinkie, it isn't really dark and mysterious if I can't remember it." He said, raising an eyebrow.

Her voice changed back to normal. "Well it could be!" She hopped up and down. "Twilight wants to see you in her castle."

"Alright, I'll be there in a moment." He assured her, beginning his slow progress towards Twilight's castle.

N. I. knocked on the door of the crystal castle.

"Ah, Not Important, you're finally here." Twilight said, as she opened the door. "What took you so long?"

"Sorry Twilight." N.I said, as he made his way in. "I ran into Bon Bon on the way here, and she insisted I try one of her new candies. They can make your voice change!" He popped a purple, ball shaped candy into his mouth, and sucked on it for a moment, before speaking again. "See? now I sound like you." The impression was spot on.

"Wow!" Twilight was amazed. "Did she make one for you?"

"She did, actually." He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a black candy.

"Mind if I try it?" She asked, and magically grabbed the small candy. N.I. nodded, and Twilight began to suck it. "I'm Not Important, and I don't wanna tell anyone my real name." She mocked, her voice gravely and deep, completely sounding like N. I.'s

"Oh yeah?" N. I. took a deep breath. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, and despite the fact I'm a super smart pony who reads books all day, I seem to forget when my friends don't remember there past."

This mockery of each other lasted for a few moments, before the both of them started laughing.

"Actually, Not Important, I think I can help with your past." She said, her voice back to normal

"How?"

"I've developed a spell that can go into one's subconscious, and retrieve his or her memories directly from there head." She explained. "And can project said memories for anyone to see."

"That seems rather ... invasive."

"It is, which is why I modified the spell to work for those who only completely agree to have it be done to them."

"Let me guess, you don't completely know if it works, and seeing that Ponyville doesn't have any amnesiacs, you want to test it on me?" N. I. guessed.

"You catch on quick." She said.

"It's not gonna make my head explode if something goes wrong, right?" He asked, somewhat worried.

"Don't worry, if something goes wrong, the worst you'll experience is a mild headache."

"Alright then, when do we start?"

"Right now!" She said, as she warmed up the spell.

"Wait a min-" It was too late, the spell has entered his mind.

The feeling of pure hatred.

The smell of gunpowder.

The sound of an AK47.

The sound of people screaming for there lives.

The sight of blood.

The smell of charred flesh.

The sound of an explosion.

All of it, committed by one man.

The man, who's name was Not Important.

Twilight pulled out of N. I.'s mind, and stumbled backwards. She was completely wide eyed, and her jaw hung open.

N. I. put a hand to his head. "Yep, there's that headache you were talking about." He saw Twilight's stunned expression. "What? What did you see?"

Twilight remained silent, slowly standing up. "Y... You're..." Her voice was weak.

"Twilight, what's wrong?" N. I. was worried. "What did you see?"

"I saw... I saw you." She was scared. Scared of him. "You're a murderer."

"What!?" N. I. couldn't believe it.

"No, more than that." She was backing away. "You're a mass murderer."

"N-no, I couldn't be." N. I. was pacing in place. "I couldn't hurt a fly, much less another person."

"What I saw was definitely you." She said. "You were... killing people by the hundreds."

"Hundreds!?" N. I. shouted, completely stunned.

"You had this... object in your hands, it shot these little metal things."

"A gun? What did it look like?" He asked.

"I think your mind called it an 'AK47'

"Oh god." N. I. sat on the floor. He felt like he was going to throw up. "Twilight, I didn't... I couldn't have, I..." Suddenly, all of the memories came flooding back.

"It was you, Not Important!" Her horn began to glow. "You killed hundreds of people!"

"I... yes, I did." He looked to Twilight. "Twilight. Kill me."

"W-what?" She was surprised, and her horn lost its magic.

"I can't live, knowing I had done these horrible things to my own people." He pleaded. "Kill me, please!"

"No, I can't do that to you!"

"Why not!?" Screamed N. I. "It's what I deserve! I..." He began to sob. "I don't want to hurt any of you."

"Not, you've been here for months." Her voice softened, but she still stood away from him. "I think you would have hurt someone by now."

"What do you think I've been dreaming about!?" He screamed at her again. She backed further away. "I've been having these horrible dreams, where I kill all of you. Brutally. It's only a matter of time, Twilight!" He stood up.

"What are you doing?" She asked, scared out of her mind.

"If you won't kill me because I asked you..." He slowly walked towards her. "Then I'll force you to."

"Not, don't do this."

He picked up pace.

"Not, please!"

He reached his hands to her neck.

Her horn enveloped with magic.

Author's Note

I pre-ordered it.

Phone the authorities, I don't have an act of reproduction to let you have.

Okay fine shut up

Twilight was scared for her life, as Not Important approached her. Magic enveloped her horn, and she zapped him. He clutched his chest as he fell to his knees.

"What did you...?" He said, groggily, as the spell began to affect him.

"It's a knock out spell." She said. "Don't fight it, let sleep take you."

"God ... damn it." He cursed, as he fell asleep.

And then Princess Celestia swooped and stomped his fucking head in like a god damn watermelon like the awesome waifu she is.

The fucking end

Author's Note

Now leave me the fuck alone.