Shattered Dimensions: Forgotten Shards

I opened my eyes and smiled broadly; today was my first day back in Equestria after an entire year away, and now I had all the time in the world to spend time with my friends! I leaped out of the bed in Twilight’s library and quickly got dressed, whistling the opening chords to the song “Fools Gold” as I threw on my pants and shirt, and ran downstairs to grab some breakfast. They were a little limited on food options in Equestria, since ponies aren’t avid consumers of meat, dairy, or eggs, but I was fine with a perfectly ripe banana.

After a bit of searching, I found that I was alone in the library for the moment. “Twilight must have gone out to get something,” I said to myself, and I decided to go for a stroll. After all, I might as well make it clear that I was finally back! I put on my my dark-grey hoodie as I slipped out the door, and began to walk through the streets of Ponyville for the first time in what felt like ages.

I smiled at all the familiar sights, both from the show and my previous visit, as I strolled down the cobblestone roads of Ponyville’s square. I thought about stopping at Sugarcube Corner for a cupcake, but then I realized that I didn’t have any bits to spend and decided I could do without sweets for a little while. After all, I was supposed to be going to Canterlot in a few days, and I knew Celestia would put together some huge celebration to mark my return.

“Look over there!” I heard a voice whisper urgently. I smiled slightly, knowing that I was the one being referred to, and glanced to my right. I saw a nearby bench with two ponies sitting on it. One of them, a mint-green mare with a white-streaked mane, sat on her behind like a human, while her friend, a cream-colored mare with a blue-and-pink striped mane that sat in large curls. I knew these two rather well, thanks to the brony fandom back on Earth: rumored lesbian couple-slash-roommates, Lyra and Bon-Bon.

“I don’t believe it…” the pale pony said slowly, “Your crazy conspiracy theories were right; it’s a human!”

I nodded acknowledging at the pair, giving them a friendly smile. “Hello!” I said happily as I approached, “How are you two today?”

The mint pony wasn’t paying attention to me, however; instead, she was staring at my hands with an excited look on her face. Her pale friend rolled her eyes. “Please forgive my roommate’s eagerness,” she said apologetically. “She’s wanted to see a human up close for a long time. I heard you were here a while back, but we were a little tied up at the time.”

I nodded, taking a few moments to realize she probably meant that literally when I remembered what had gone down during my last visit. “Anyways, what are you two up to?” I asked, glancing down to see Lyra was right by my side, staring at my fingers with untapped curiosity.

Bon-Bon glanced at Lyra, slightly irritated. “Bon-Bon! Down!” she snapped, and the green pony scowled and sat down on the bench. “We’re just getting out of the house for a little while and enjoying the nice weather,” she explained. “What about you?”

I shrugged. “Pretty much the same, I guess. Hey, have you seen Twilight Sparkle or any of her friends?” I inquired. “I was supposed to hang out with them today.”

Bon-Bon shook her head. “I don’t think so,” she said slowly, “but I’m sure they’ll show up eventually; they’re always having adventures around here!”

Lyra suddenly spoke up, having paid no attention to the conversation due to being focused on my hands. “Mister Human, could I ask you a favor?” she asked, her gaze unwavering.

I stared for a moment. “Uh, sure,” I said slowly, “you can call me ‘Allen’, if you want,” I added.

Lyra smiled nervously. “Could you… could you scratch behind my ears?!” she asked quickly, tapping her front hooves together nervously. “I’ve always wondered what it felt like to be petted by a human,” she added.

I laughed. “Yeah, I don’t think that’d be a problem,” I replied, and before I knew it, Lyra was sitting on the ground in front of me with her eyes closed and an eager smile on her face. Bon-Bon slapped a hoof against her forehead, embarrassed.

“I am so sorry about her,” she grumbled, “Sometimes she can be a little too… excitable.”

I shrugged as I reached out and began to scratch behind Lyra’s right ear like one would do with a cat. “It’s alright,” I said slowly, “I was a little excited when I first saw you ponies.” I looked down to see Lyra had begun to drool, and there was a dreamy look on her face.

“Ohhhh… that’s perfect,” she said happily. Pony fur was softer than anything I had ever felt before; you just couldn’t compare it to anything. Realizing that Lyra was on the verge of passing out, I stopped scratching and gave her a light pat on the head, not knowing what else to do. “How was that?” I asked awkwardly.

Lyra jumped up in the air happily. “It was GREAT!” she cried. “Bon-Bon, you’ve got to try this!” she said, turning to cast a hopeful look at her friend.

Bon-Bon shook her head, her eyes getting big. “Oh, no,” she said dismissively, “you can have your dreams of having your ears scratched by the human if you want, but keep your weird dreams to yourself.”

Lyra patted Bon-Bon on the back coaxingly. “Come on, silly filly,” she said cheerfully, “you don’t have to be scared!”

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes. “I’m not scared, I just don’t want to.”

Lyra stared at her friend for a moment before narrowing her eyes deviously. “Well the, if you won’t take the ear scratches willingly,” she said slowly, “then we’ll force them on you!” The minty pony let out a cheerful yelp as she tackled Bon-Bon. “Allen, quick!” she cried as the two wrestled in the grass, “Scratch her ears!”

I glanced around uncertainly. “I dunno, Lyra,” I said nervously, “she said she didn’t want her ears scratched.”

Lyra made a dismissive noise. “What does she know? Just scratch her ears! Be quick, though; she’s a lot stronger than she looks!” she grunted, struggling to keep her roommate locked in a vicegrip.

I sighed heavily. “Okay, fine,” I said finally. “Sorry, Bon-Bon,” I apologized as I reached for her perky ears.

“NONONONONONO- ohhhhhh, that actually feels kinda nice…”

Lyra released her grip on Bon-Bon as she stopped her struggling and gave in to my gentle ear scratches. Her eyes were gently closed and her breathing was gentle. It was kinda strange, having a sentient creature just sitting there as I scratched behind its ears.

I mean, come on; it was as if another human had asked me for the same thing.

After a few more moments of this, I withdrew my hand slowly and Bon-Bon opened her eyes. “Alright, I’ll admit that did feel nice,” she admitted, and suddenly turned and glared at Lyra, who was grinning nervously. “When I say ‘no’, it means ‘no’. I don’t care if you say I’ll enjoy something; if I don’t want it, you don’t tackle me!” Bon-Bon then turned back to me. “I swear, that’s the fifth time this month she’s done that to force me into something.”

Just then, Lyra’s face lit up like she got an idea. “Mister Human! Er, I mean, Allen! I have an amazing idea that everypony is going to love!”

I shuffled my feet uncertainly. “Uh, what do you have in mind?” I asked slowly.

Lyra nodded, her eyes filled with determination. “Okay, we’re going to need a hammer, some plywood, and a lot of nails,” she said dangerously.

~-~-~-~-~

“Step right up! Human ear scratches, just three bits!” Lyra cried out. I sighed heavily as I leaned against a stand she had built rather haphazardly; it looked there should be a sign above it that read “THE DOCTOR IS IN/OUT”. There was a long line of curious ponies standing in front of me, eager to see what this whole “ear-scratching” business was.

“I know I’ve said it before, but I’m saying it again: I’m so, so sorry about her,” Bon-Bon said as a pony stepped forward and bowed her head.

Lyra trotted past and shot her a shameful look. “Bon-Bon, I’m performing a public service here! And besides, we’re getting paid,” she added, setting a jar on the counter that had a small piece of paper taped to it that read “THREE BITS”.

I suddenly straightened myself out. “Paid?” I asked suddenly, “Why didn’t you say so?!” With that, I quickly got to work scratching the ears of my numerous clients. It was a long, kinda dull process, but the cute noises some of the ponies made were kinda worth it; the money I was making didn’t hurt, either.

Just when I thought I had scratched every single pony ear in Ponyville, I heard a shrill voice cry out. “Allen! There you are!” I turned around to see Pinkie Pie bouncing towards me, with Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack following lose behind.

I smiled warmly at the sight of my friends. “Hey, girls!” I said with a wave, “where have you been all day?”

Twilight sighed heavily. “There was an… incident at Sweet Apple Acres,” she explained. “I didn’t want to wake you because you looked so tired when you arrived here last night, so we went to take care of it and hoped we’d return before you got bored.”

“It looks like we didn’t have to worry about that,” Applejack added with a laugh. “What’s this I hear about ‘ear scratches’?” she asked teasingly.

I rolled my eyes. “It was Lyra’s idea,” I said, jerking a thumb at the green pony who was smiling giddily at a pile of bits, while her roommate pretended to be indifferent, but couldn’t help but grinning a little.

Pinkie suddenly bounced up and down excitedly. “Ooh! Ooh! You should do us!” she cried happily. The others all nodded in agreement as they crowded around me, and I couldn’t help but laugh; they may be able to talk and were just as smart as any human, but they were just like cats when it came to being petted.

“Alright, girls,” I said finally, “One at a time; there’s plenty of ear scratches to go around.”