A United Land

Earth

"We ain't making no goddamn cornflakes here."

-Col. Charlie Beckwith, founder of Delta Force

12 Hours Later, over a Confirmed-to-be-Extinct-Earth

Ace walked into the CIC of the Galactica. "Admiral, a third Battlestar Pegasus is joining us, and I heard you bought some Shooting Stars because the Mercury Class could make more fighters. I happen to own the company, so could you please fill out this survey?"

"Sure thing, Ace." Adama took out a pen and put on some glasses, then took the clipboard from Ace's hoof.

Thank you for purchasing an Ace Flyer military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

[_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other

First Name: Initial:

Last Name:

Password: (max 8. char)

Code name:

Latitude/Longitude/Altitude: / /

Which model aircraft did you purchase?

[_] FB-3 Clydesdale

[_] Spiteful

[_] Javelin

[_] Shooting Star

[_] Classified

Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): / /
Serial Number:
Please check where this product was purchased:

[_] Received as gift/aid package

[_] Catalog showroom

[_] Independent arms broker

[_] Mail order

[_] Discount store

[_] Government surplus

[_] Classified

Please check how you became aware of the Ace Flyer product you have just purchased:

[_] Heard loud noise, looked around

[_] Store display

[_] Espionage

[_] Recommended by friend/relative/ally

[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer

[_] Was attacked by one

Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision

to purchase this Ace Flyer product:

[_] Style/appearance

[_] Speed/maneuverability

[_] Price/value

[_] Comfort/convenience

[_] Kickback/bribe

[_] Recommended by salesperson

[_] Ace Flyer reputation

[_] Advanced Weapons Systems

[_] Backroom politics

[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

[_] Space

[_] Anima

[_] Space

[_] Aircraft carrier

[_] Space

[_] Kobol

[_] Space

[_] Ionian Nebula (not Space)

[_] Space

[_] New Caprica

[_] Space

[_] Twelve Colonies of Man

[_] Space

[_] Earth

[_] Space

[_] Classified

Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:

[_] Color TV

[_] VCR

[_] Inter Galaxy Ballistic Missile (IGBM)

[_] Killer Moon Sized Space Station

[_] CD Player

[_] Plane-to-Plane Missiles

[_] Plane-to-Cylon Missiles

[_] Home Computer

[_] Nuclear Weapon

How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply)

[_] Dark Magic Tyrant

[_] Crazed

[_] Neutral

[_] Democratic

[_] Dictatorship

[_] Corrupt

[_] Primitive/Tribal

How did you pay for your Ace Flyer product?

[_] Deficit spending

[_] Cash

[_] Raiding the ruins of the Twelve Colonies

[_] Tylium Ore revenues

[_] Personal check

[_] Credit card

[_] Ransom money

[_] Traveler's check

Your occupation:

[_] Homemaker

[_] Sales/marketing

[_] Revolutionary

[_] Clerical

[_] Mercenary

[_] Viper Nugget

[_] Middle management

[_] Eccentric billionaire

[_] Defense Minister/General

[_] Retired

[_] Battlestar Commander

To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

[_] Golf

[_] Boating/sailing

[_] Sabotage

[_] Running/jogging

[_] Propaganda/disinformation

[_] Destabilization/overthrow

[_] Default on loans

[_] Gardening

[_] Crafts

[_] Black market / smuggling

[_] Collectibles / collections

[_] Watching sports on TV

[_] Wines

[_] Interrogation/torture

[_] Household pets

[_] Failing to crush Cylon rebellions

[_] Espionage/reconnaissance

[_] Buying Toasters

[_] Destroying Cylon Colonies

[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

ACE FLYER CORPORATION

Marketing Department

Military Aerospace Division

Adams handed the clipboard back to Ace. "Thanks, Admiral."

He nodded at him.

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Rainbow and Scootaloo flew in formation, making their way to the Dominus. Commander Hot Head needed them to make their presence known. Landing in the right flight pod, they followed signs to the CIC.

The two snapped a salute at the Biomech as he came in. "Wow, you guys took forever to get here."

"Wait, you knew?"

"Rebel Cylons improved a lot of crap on the ships and my body. You guys stuck out like a sore thumb. But anyways, good to see you, Rainbow. If you hadn't shot me, I wouldn't be alive right now. Or the humans."

"Huh?"

"So who's this mare?"

"Sargent Scootaloo, 31St detachment of the Rainbow Tails."

"You were the dreamer, weren't you?"

"Yes, sir, the one that want to be like Lieutenant."

"Demotion?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "For shooting someone without good reason."

"I'm transferring you guys to Dominus."

"Sir, several unknown DRADIS contacts!"

"There's your cue, ladies."

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The two mares came back after an hour, obviously pissed.

"The nerve!"

"Tell me."

"That asshole Leiter! He didn't even detect us, and he doesn't even have FTL capabilities! And yet he thinks the Eastern Alliance is superior! They have 300 meter flak frigates!"

Ace sat their and let the two mares rant to their hearts content, picking up vital information through the yelling.

After a while, he told them to stop. "Are they a direct danger to the fleet?"

"Yes."

Ace thought for a moment. "Action stations!"

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The Dominus left the fleet to take on the small destroyers on her own. All guns armed but the flight pods closed and no aircraft launching, Ace decided to even the odds for the poor bastards.

Charging in from "above," the Eastern Alliance ships were completely taken by surprise, because they were looking down at Earth, wanting to colonize the planet. Several destroyers were annihilated in the opening moments, and more were crushed under the superior weapons. When they finally realized what happened, their guns couldn't really do much to the armor. In several short moments, Dominus' kill streak nearly doubled.

Leaving Leiter's ship and forcing him into the flight pod (that's how small his ship was). He was thrown in the CIC to talk with Ace.

"Just who the hell do you think you are to challenge the might of the Eastern Alliance?"

"I destroyed your fleet of obsolete skiffs. Actually, this is one of the weaker ships."

"Huh?"

"The Mercury Class is 1789 meters long. She would be considered a Heavy Battlecruiser, because the Nova Class is 2100 meters."

"That's impossible, the largest ship we have is slightly larger than this!"

Ace brought him to a window. The fleet slowly came into view. He looked at Leiter's saucer eyes and pot mouth.

"Those are the largest ships I've ever seen..." He said, referring to Galactica, Pegasus, the rebel basestar, and Cupid. "What happened to red?"

"Big battle that took a lot from her. Do you have FTL capabilities?"

"Lightspeed is impossible!"

"Yes, it is, but our drives fold space, creating a temporary wormhole. It takes on the appearance of faster than light."

Leiter looked ready to faint. "Look, buddy, I'll let you go if you pinkie promise not to force rule on other civilizations. Kay?"

"....I...um....Pinkie Promise...."

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Pinkie Pie looked up at the sky. "You better keep it, scumbag!"

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