Lightning Forged Steelby Steel ScriptChaptersChapter 1: HijinksChapter 2: Scootaloo?Chapter 3: Antidotes and LathesChapter 4: VulpesChapter 5: Warning: Rule 63Chapter 6: Las PegasusChapter 7: CrackerjackChapter 1: HijinksChapter 1: Hijinks An aura of lilac magic enveloped the inert winged form on the desk. The pegasus was gently lifted off several pages covered in scrawling writing; the magic levitated the pegasus a few feet to the side before vanishing and leaving the pegasus to fall and jolt awake. “Shit! Why are you dropping me on the GROUND! I HATE the ground!” cried the pegasus, light grey wings instantly snapping open and launching him into the air, coming to a hover just below the ceiling, his cutie mark, a pair of nails and a hammer sporting a lightning bolt, clearly visible. “Oh get over it Lighting, It’s your own fault for sleeping on my work. Why aren’t you still on the fridge? That’s where you were last night,” inquired a pastel green unicorn with a rather curious cutie mark. It consisted of two crossed quills above a strange symbol on a grey shield, behind which two scrolls unfurled and crossed over one another. The unicorn impatiently sat at the desk previously occupied by the grey pegasus now hovering above and behind the unicorn’s head. “I figured you would come into your study sooner or later, and last time I tried to go into your room I got hit in the face by one of your stupid toys. But this is REALLY important. We’re out of BEER!” cried Lightning with pure desperation, “aaaand I took that thing you told me not to touch out of the freezer to make room for my ice-cream. It turned purple.” The unicorn turned to look at Lightning. “One, you don’t even live here, so why are you keeping stuff in my freezer? And two, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TOUCHING MY STUFF! If it has ‘Steel Script’s’ written on it, don’t touch it. You ruined a project that took me months to get right. This was looking like my first successful attempt! Magical constructs are highly sensitive to disturbance. Now I’ve got to go get more Poison Joke, and you know what happened last time!” Lightning thought for a second before bursting out into raucous gales of laughter at the thought. “I wouldn’t mind if that happened again” Steel Script shook his head and concentrated. A lilac aura manifested itself around his horn as he focused. Lightning Flicker opened his red eyes just in time to see a large lilac hoof flying towards his face. BONK! “Hey! I already have one scar, I don’t need another!” “Then never bring that time up again!” called Steel as he turned to the stairs that lead to the lounge beneath the study. As he teleported down them, he wished that line-of-sight wasn’t a restriction. “No promises!” Lightning called back as Steel Script opened the door to leave while levitating a pair of saddlebags onto his back, taking care to avoid his dark blue mane; “and get some more beer while you’re out!” Steel shook his head as he slammed the door. * * * “Why is he still here? Why doesn’t he go back to Las Pegasus?” Steel Script vented to the nearby trees. “Because you’re my biographer and you need to document my adventures of epic proportions” replied Lightning, following Steel while always remaining several feet from the ground. “No, Lightning Flicker, I’m choosing to document your ego of epic proportions,” chastised Steel. “Yeah, my ego is pretty impressive.” Lightning shot back smugly, shaking his black mane. “By Celestia . . .” muttered Steel as he trotted among the forlorn and twisted limbs of the trees of the Everfree, “You know, you’re lucky I live near a patch of Poison Joke, it means that every time you stuff up one of my experiments I can easily get some more.” “Can we get some beer while we’re out?” asked Lightning. “No. I’ll get some more next week, when I normally do. It’s your own fault for drinking it all.” “You’re mean.” “Your fault for not going back to Las Pegasus,” said Steel with a sense of finality. The duo stopped at the edge of a Poison Joke patch. “Why do you need this stuff anyway?” asked Lightning, floating well above the blue petals of the plant. “I’m trying to create an artificial Timberwolf heart, however, I can’t keep feeding it my own magic to keep it running, I’d be too exhausted to move,” explained Steel as he lowered his saddle bags and took a step back before starting to levitate individual petals into them. “An artificial whowhatnow?” “An artificial Timberwolf heart, basically, if I succeed, a Timberwolf should form around it. “So why the Poison Joke?” asked Lightning. “Because Poison Joke contains large amounts of magic in order to play its ‘jokes,’ therefore it is the perfect substitute for constant recharging,” explained Steel as he continued to pick Poison Joke. “OK, but why are you trying to make an artificial Timberwolf! I mean, those things are everywhere and try to eat me every time I see one!” said lightning as he shot up into the overhanging branches of a nearby tree. “I’m trying to understand Timberwolves as a species, and I believe that the best way to do so is to create one. Add to that the fact that I found a way to form a primarily magic-based creature such as a Timberwolf around a central point of magic, in effect, a heart. Also, if you don’t like it, you can go back to Las Pegasus,” explained Steel as he finished collecting Poison Joke. “But why? I mean, they EAT ponies and fall apart when hit with a rock for Celestia’s sake, what is there to understand?” pestered Lightning, lingering over the deceptive petals below him. “Have you seen their social interactions? Do you know if they reproduce? Where does the energy to sustain their magic come from? These are questions that I want to answer, and to do so I need to study them, therefore I decided to start small and relatively simple. Hence the artificial heart. Also, heads up.” Lightning looked up in time to see a blue petal land on his nose. “FUCK YOU!” Author's Note Hey, thanks for reading! If you want to enjoy more of Lightning and Steel's content, go on over to YouTube and check out our videos discussing theories that look and various things in the MLP universe. Here's the link to our channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5XozvvlAb4KGg1tvAQjafw Chapter 2: Scootaloo?Chapter 2: Scootaloo? “You do know that I will kill you in the morning. After breakfast of course, because I’m not cooking if somepony else can do it for me,” said Lightning as the duo reached Steel’s home. Steel Script’s home was a comfortable hut, half of which was built into a large, ancient oak tree which had hollowed with old age, allowing a study and two bedrooms to be built within its trunk. The rest of the hut jutted out, yet remaining melded with the tree, a strange sight on the edges of the Everfree Forest. “Whatever. Kill me, and you don’t get the antidote. And don’t bother going to Zecora, she still refuses to talk to you after last time,” replied the unfazed Steel Script. * * * As the sun rose the next morning, Steel Script woke to a bed covered in light grey feathers, the sight of which forced a chuckle out of the unicorn. “You do know I hate the ground right?” Lightning shot at the light green pony on the bed below him, spreading his now bare wings. “Yes, Chicken Wings, I do. You keep reminding me every five minutes. What do you have against the ground? I fail to see what it could have done to you.” replied Steel, laughter clear in his voice. “The ground is a dangerous place” “More dangerous than flying? The sky is full of tornadoes, strong wind currents, and thunderclouds.” “Whatever, you’re carrying me around while you gather the stuff you need for the antidote so I can fly again, just let me get my jacket.” Steel rolled his eyes at Lightning’s last order. “Fine, but touch my mane and I WILL buck you off this time,” Steel grumbled as he unceremoniously lifted the Pegasus onto his back and left his home. * * * Steel plodded steadily along, muttering curses silently as the pegasus he carried constantly squirmed in an effort to get comfortable. “Why in Celestia’s name did you come?” cried Steel exasperatedly. “Because your house is stupidly dangerous,” replied Lightning, a hint of fear in his voice. “It’s a hut on the edge of the Everfree, how can it be dangerous?” “I could trip on the rug in the lounge.” “A rug?” “Yes! Rugs are on the ground, therefore they’re dangerous” “It’s a rug!” “I could fall down those stupid stairs! Why do those things even exi-” CRASH! Lightning found himself tangled in the branches of a tree after being bucked forcibly off Steel’s back. Steel looked at Lightning, anger tempered with laughter in his lilac eyes. “I warned you not to touch my mane.” “At least I’m off the ground.” “Well, there is our first ingredient,” Steel said, pointing at it. “Finally.” * * * The sun had passed its peak before Steel had carried Lightning to locations were all the ingredients could be found and had since returned to Steel’s house. “Hurry up and make the antidote, I want to get off the ground,” whined Lightning, flapping his naked wings with all his might and to no avail. “Alright, I will, it’s just that it takes time to make it, but I can promise you that you will have your feathers back before the end of the day,” Steel called over his shoulder as he walked down a hall at the back of the lounge and opened the door to the bathroom. “Just make it quic-” THUNK Steel came out of the bathroom and walked down the hall to find Lightning Flicker on floor in the lounge. “I tripped over your fucking rug!” Steel sat down quickly before falling backwards, laughing hysterically at the sight and implications of what just occurred. “You have GOT to be kidding me!” laughed Steel’s as he tried to regain his composure. “Just make that fucking antidote!” cried Lightning Flicker. “Okay, okay,” chuckled Steel as he returned to the task at hand. Author's Note Thanks for reading! However, this isn't the only place you can find Lightning and Steel, so if you want more, go on over to YouTube and watch our videos on various theories centered around MLP. Enjoy our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5XozvvlAb4KGg1tvAQjafw Chapter 3: Antidotes and LathesChapter 3: Antidotes and Lathes After many bangs and more than a few odd smells had diffused throughout the house, the Poison Joke antidote was ready, causing Lightning Flicker to flap his bare wings in anticipation of having his feathers return. Steel was almost knocked flat by the pegasus’s headlong charge before being bucked out the door and into the hallway wall. Steel entered the lounge and turned to his saddlebags and was levitating the Poison Joke into a bowl when Lightning called out to him. “Can you get me a vodka martini, shaken not stirred? And when I say vodka martini, I mean straight vodka. In the bottle.” Steel shook his head before shouting over his shoulder. “You drank the last of the vodka on Tuesday. We’re out of alcohol in general!” as Steel went back to his work, he muttered to himself: “what happened to Lightning to make him drink so much?” Steel used his magic to pull various books, tools, instruments, and ingredients towards him, including what appeared to be a large pile of firewood and kindling. Steel looked over his shoulder and called out, “Hey, Lightning, mind if I use your tools again?” as he levitated a set of carving tools towards him. Lightning’s voice had an edge of irritation in it as he replied. “DON’T TOUCH MY TOOLS! I’ll get some that you can use.” “Too late, I’m using the one’s you keep under my cooking utensils.” “Fine, just don’t touch the ones in the couch.” Steel Script suddenly looked up from his preparations, an expression of horror on his muzzle. He looked over his shoulder to the door to his bathroom, before shrugging it off and levitating all the equipment behind him as he walked down the hall to a door at the very end which opened up into a small yet serviceable workshop that doubled as a laboratory. Steel Script stood in front of a lathe and set a smallish log in between the two stocks and started to use the hoof pedal, the lathe gaining speed. Once the lathe, and the wood on it, was moving fast enough, Steel levitated one of the tools he borrowed off Lightning and started to turn down the log. * * * It wasn’t long before the log had been turned down to an elongated oval, the roughly carved surface of the wood’s grain swirling in nearly hypnotic patterns. “Are you still trying to make that artificial Timberwolf thingy?” came a voice a few feet above and behind Steel, causing him to jump and light up his horn at the same time. “LIGHTNING FLICKER! How many times do I have to tell you not to do that, although I do see that your feathers are back,” said Steel Script as he found Lightning hovering off the ground behind him. “Like I ever listen to you. So, Timberwolf thingy, you still doing that?” Lightning pestered. “Yes, now go do something that doesn’t involve me!” yelled Steel, his annoyance at Lightning building, “or if you have to stay here, please stay QUIET!” “Fine, I’ll try to shut up,” muttered Lightning Flicker, flying through the door only to return a few moments later, pushing a fluffy white cloud ahead of him. Steel Script rolled his eyes as the pegasus reclined in the cloud, and levitated the oval shaped wood in front of him along with a hack-saw and proceeded to cut the oval in half. “Why don’t you just make a toy to do that instead of using my tools?” queried Lightning from the cloud he was resting upon. “Because my magical constructs are often purely defensive or act as a deterrent, I don’t know how to make an edge sharp enough or stable enough to cut through wood,” replied Steel. “But you punch me in the face with those things, frequently!” “Again, they do no lasting damage and cannot draw blood. They are a deterrent, and I use them on you because I frequently need to deter your mouth from making an idiot out of you.” The two halves of the oval fell slightly as the saw finished its work. “Now, if you don’t mind, I would like to get back to work.” Chapter 4: VulpesChapter 4: Vulpes The next morning . . . “Steel, I’m hungry, make me food!” Lightning’s plea as morning sun filtered through the windows in the workshop “Ah Steel? Are you awake?” Lightning asked the form hunched over in front of the lathe. “Wha-?” “Did you fall asleep while working?” asked Lightning, barely holding in his laughter. “Hey, I had to carry you around all day, and then make that Poison Joke antidote, and I was up carving out that sphere well after Luna had raised the moon, so yes I’m tired,” mumbled Steel Script as he passed a hoof over his eyes. “I don’t care, make me food!” “I need to keep working, this heart won’t carve itself, get some cereal or something,” Steel turned his attention to the two hollowed out halves of his sphere. “But I ate all the Luna Pop’s last night, and anyway, I want bacon.” Steel rolled his eyes as he picked up a small gouge and started to carve arcane runes into the halves. “You spend far too much time with griffins and dragons. You shouldn’t be eating meat. Anyway, I don’t have any bacon, I never do.” “Freaking vegetarians, meat tastes good,” muttered the disgruntled Pegasus. “If you want bacon, you can go and socialise.” “But nopony likes me.” Steel Script looked at his friend. “What happened while you were in Celestia’s Guard? I remember when we first met as two colts in Canterlot, you seemed like a nice guy, but then you entered the military, and when you came back after Princess Luna’s return, you just weren’t the same, always drinking and moping, and then there’s that scar, how, in blue blazes, did you get that thing?” Steel suddenly found himself staring into a pair of red wells of sorrow and anguish. “I’ll only say this once: I don’t want to talk about it, and if you push me again, I WILL follow you around with a thundercloud. I’m happy as I am, I don’t need you to bring up the past when I buried it.” The pastel unicorn took a step back at the venom in his friend’s voice. “As you wish. Oats alright for breakfast?” “Yeah, fine.” Steel left Lightning Flicker to his thoughts. * * * The sun had sunk beneath the horizon and the moon was casting its pale light from up high in Luna’s dark and jewelled sky by the time Steel Script had finished carving the necessary runes into the two halves of the heart. “. . . of wateeeeeeeeerrrrrr! Right, now that that’s done, I can start on the catalyst for the construction phase, which should trigger after the initial burst of magic . . .” muttered Steel as he started to grind up some Poison Joke and Heart’s Desire in a mortar and pestle. “Are you rambling to yourself again? You must be crazy ‘cos talking to yourself is the first sign of madness,” Lightning Flicker piped up as he lazily flapped his way in. “You’re only just picking up on my mild insanity?” quipped Steel in way of reply. “No, I’m just pointing it out again. So what are you doing now?” asked Lightning, coming to a hover in the middle of the workshop. “I’m mixing up Heart’s Desire and Poison Joke to create a substance that will hopefully cause the Timberwolf to form around the heart. By the way, you might want to back up a bit,” said Steel Script as he levitated the two halves of the sphere together, enclosing the Heart’s Desire and Poison Joke powder in the centre. A beam of lilac magic shot from Steel Script’s horn and enveloped the sphere, causing to start spinning. After a few seconds, Steel discontinued the beam and sat down, the heart still spinning in the grasp in his levitation spell. “So what does it do?” inquired Lighting from his cloud. “Just wait.” “Wait for wha-?” Lightning was cut off by a shaped hunk of wood hitting him in the back of head. Pieces of wood were gathering and revolving around the Timberwolf heart, forming a muzzle, legs, paws, and tail. Slowly a lupine form assembled itself around the spinning heart, violet magic pulling the pieces into place. “That’s not a Timberwolf,” said Lightning Flicker, staring at the creature that had been formed. The creature had a thinner muzzle and face than that of a Timberwolf and stood a good three feet below the monsters that it emulated. The ‘ears’ were wider and the body slimmer, and the twigs that made up the tail were more numerous and appeared bushier than that of a true Timberwolf. Its eyes glowed with violet magic as it sniffed around Steel Script’s hoofs for food. Steel Script levitated a bowl of Poison Joke towards the artificial Timberwolf while simultaneously levitating a notebook and quill towards him. “AH13 was successful,” muttered Steel as he wrote his observations, “resulting subject is smaller and physically dissimilar to natural Timberwolves.” Steel and Lightning both looked down at the ‘Timberfox’ as it wolfed down the blue petals that lay before it. “Intended diet enchantments succeeded, as Subject 01 appears to feed on Humor Herba without any immediate side effects.” “Does it do anything, or does it just exist?” asked Lightning Flicker, poking his hoof at the Timberfox. “I made it to study it, nothing more.” “That’s kinda mean, at least name it or something.” “It’s a scientific experiment, to name it would be unprofessional” countered Steel “Now you’re acting like more of a dick than me.” “Fine. I’ll call it . . . Vulpes,” declared Steel Script, looking down at the newly christened Timberfox. Lightning Flicker lowered his cloud down to Vulpes’ level and started to stroke the Timberfox’s back. “Hear that little guy, your daddy decided to name you. I don’t know what it means, but it sounds cool.” Steel rolled his eyes. “Vulpes is the scientific name for fox. And I’m not its father.” And with that, Vulpes burped, two small, blue petals escaping is wooden maw and landing on Steel’s nearby hoof. “Oh, shit,” sighed Steel Script. “Why, what’s wrong?” asked Lightning. “Well, it just ate Poison Joke, and it burped on me before it could fully ingest the plant.” Lightning burst out into gales of raucous laughter. Steel rolled his eyes and looked down at Vulpes. “Next time, I’m going to try Heart’s Desire petals.” “You can only find them in Ponyville and you’re going to need to feed him sometime tomorrow or recharge his energy yourself. And you used all of the antidote ingredients today to cure me, so you’re going to need more. Tomorrow is going to be fun.” Said Lightning with unbridled glee. “Glad to see you find my rather . . . unique . . . situation so hysterical. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed, casting the spell to kick-start Vulpes took a lot out of me,” yelled an angered Steel Script as he stormed out of the workshop and up the stairs to his bedroom. Author's Note There will be a little rule 63 for the next few chapters, so you have been warned. Chapter 5: Warning: Rule 63Chapter 5: Warning: Rule 63 Steel woke to a cool breeze across his flank and to Lightning Flicker floating on a cloud staring at him, wings open. “By Celestia, GET OUT!” Steel roared. “But, it happened!” protested Lightning. “I know, now GET OUT!” “Fine,” muttered Lightning, reluctantly pushing his cloud out the open window. Steel Script swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, the sensation of being shorter and sleeker bringing back bad memories from the last time he had come into contact with Poison Joke. “I hate it when this happens,” said Steel, looking over his shoulder. Lightning’s head appeared in the window, a grin on his muzzle. “I don’t.” Steel lit up his horn, slamming the window shut is friends face. “Can’t a stallion get any piece around here?” he muttered. The window opened again. “Don’t you mean mare?” Lightning said after dropping the screwdriver he had been holding in his mouth. “That’s not the point!” yelled a transformed Steel Script. Steel had indeed become a mare overnight after last night’s Poison Joke incident, now standing roughly half a head shorter than normal. “Well it’s not like anypony is going to notice. I’m the only one who knows what happened,” Lightning pointed out. “Except that my muzzle looks . . . wrong” “Not to me, it doesn’t.” “You don’t have an opinion on this, you’re not the one who just lost their stallionhood!” Lightning burst out laughing before managing to stammer out “Will you sleep with me this time?” Lightning got a glimpse of Steel’s butt before being bucked out the window. Lightning managed to right himself and open his wings mere inches before hitting the ground. His eyes widened and he shot straight up, a black and silver trail following his path as he took a sharp turn into Steel Script’s bedroom, flinging himself onto his friend, muttering incoherently. Annoyed at the sudden contact in light of the recent events, Steel shook her mane. “Lightning, get OFF!” she yelled, before realising what the pegasus was saying. “. . . nonononononononononono, not the ground, not again, Cloud Roller, everyone, not the ground, no, no, no . . .” Steel Script’s face instantly changed as the full extent of Lightning’s situation dawned on her. “Lightning, relax, it’s over. It’s okay, you’re here, you’re safe, you’re off the ground, and you’re going to be fine. Let’s get some chocolate.” Steel Script carried her panicking friend to the top of the stairs, granting a clear view of the kitchen. Lighting up her horn, Steel levitated a bar of chocolate out of her fridge and up to where she stood. She turned and entered her bedroom. Steel hovered the bar of chocolate over her bed and used her magic to unwrap it, letting the smell reach Lightning Flicker’s nose and coax the frightened pegasus onto the bed. “It’s okay Lightning, It’s over,” said Steel as her friend gingerly nibbled at the bar, “I’m sorry for bucking you out the window.” Steel left Lightning to calm down and entered the study, reluctant to leave Lightning home alone in his current state of recall. Levitating quills, ink, and blank scrolls of parchment to the oaken desk opposite the door, Steel started to document her success with Vulpes. * * * Steel Script looked up from her work, the rays of the afternoon sun filtering in through the window. She stood up and left the study, entering the bedroom where she had left Lightning Flicker, only to find an open window and empty room. “Well fuck.” Steel exited the bedroom and trotted down the stairs, reasoning that Lightning had probably left to stretch his wings. Levitating her saddlebags onto her back, Steel once again left her house and set out to find the ingredients to mix up another batch of the Poison Joke antidote. * * * Upon Steel Script's return to her house, she came across a mail-mare knocking on the door to her home. “Can I help you?” she asked, wondering who was sending her mail. “I’m looking for a ‘Steel Script,’ do you know him?” inquired the mail-mare, turning around. “That would be me.” The mail-mare focused her skewed yellow eyes on Steel, confusion furrowing her brow. “It’s complicated,” Steel explained. “Okay, here you go,’ said the mail-mare, reaching into her saddlebags and withdrawing a brown envelope addressed to Steel. “Thank you, have a safe flight,” farewelled Steel, opening the door into her home. “Goodbye,” replied the grey pegasus before launching herself into the air and flying towards Ponyville. Once inside, Steel sat down on the couch in her lounge, levitating the letter in front of her, using her magic to open the envelope and withdraw the folded contents. To Steel Script I feel obligated to inform you that your friend, Lightning Flicker, has returned to his penthouse in Las Pegasus. While this alone is cause for little concern, it is the manner of Lightning Flicker’s return that drew my attention. He appeared to be in a state of depression, and refuses to leave his room. He only opens his door to receive the ponies that are delivering copious amounts of chocolate and ice-cream. I urge that you come to Las Pegasus at your earliest convenience and see if you can talk him back to sense, I have asked the same of Crackerjack, though his visit was met with nothing but silence. Yours in faith Tuxedo Prism Butler to Lightning Flicker Steel lowered the letter. “Well, fuck.” Steel set about rapidly gathering items that would prove useful on her trip to Las Pegasus before catching a glimpse of her reflection in a mirror. As she looked at her reflection, a war arose in her mind between her desire to return to her true self or to aid her friend and forego curing herself until the situation with Lightning had been resolved. “Oh bugger this. And bugger you, Lightning,” sighed Steel as she resumed her preparations to leave. After ensuring that she had everything she might need, including the ingredients for the Poison Joke antidote packed safely, Steel left her house and hurried through Ponyville to the train station. “One ticket to Las Pegasus, please,” requested Steel, levitating several bits out of her saddlebags and onto the ticket vendor’s counter. “What’s the hurry?” asked the vendor, producing a ticket from beneath the counter. “No time to explain,” Steel yelled as her train pulled into the station. Steel galloped onto to the train, flashing her ticket to the conductor and quickly taking a seat. * * * The stopping of train jerked Steel awake as the train slowed to a stop. Looking out the window, the horizon was obscured by towers of metal and glass, skyscrapers that were a credit to Earth Pony engineering. Steel had arrived in Las Pegasus. Chapter 6: Las PegasusChapter 6: Las Pegasus The motion of the train jerked Steel Script awake as the train stopped at the Las Pegasus train station, brakes squealing in protest. Steel left the train and took in the sight she had seen only a year prior, after receiving a letter bearing the seal of Princess Luna, asking for help with a certain pegasus. The buildings towered above her, the point where metal and glass became cloud indistinguishable, cloud palaces sitting atop skyscrapers. The sight filled Steel with the same wonder it had when she had first met the ill-tempered pegasus at the behest of the Princess of the Night. Steel started to trot towards a building that stood slightly apart from the others, ignoring all other sights offered by the impressive city. “The Lightning Struck Casino. This should be good,” muttered Steel as she approached the lone tower. Steel entered the casino to be assaulted by noise and lights, the sounds of ponies gambling and bright lights to attract them. “Can I help you ma’am?” asked an earth pony in a red coat. “I’ll be fine, I’m here to see Lighting Flicker,” replied Steel, showing the pony the letter from Tuxedo Prism. “Ah, go right ahead.” Steel entered a nearby elevator, pressing the highest button in the elevator, the sensation of being forced to the ground pressing down on her briefly. Almost a minute had gone by when the doors finally opened at the highest floor open to the public, revealing a bustling restaurant in front of her and a hallway off to her left. Ignoring the inviting smells that wafted from the restaurant, Steel turned down the hallway, quickly approaching a door that boor the words ‘Do Not Enter.’ Pushing the door open and trotting down the hallway that lay behind it. Steel followed the corridor as it curved gently, soon ending in an elevator, a number pad attached. Steel punched in the code, the elevator doors sliding open and allowing Steel Script access to the floors where her friend reigned supreme. After several seconds, the elevator slowed, and the doors parted to show a grey-blue unicorn with an ageing mane standing just outside. “Ah good, Master, ah Mistress, Steel, I was unaware of your, ah, current condition,” the pony faltered as he realised who he was talking to. “Not to worry, Tuxedo, I am the one at fault, I should have forewarned you of my situation,” replied Steel. “Would you like to avail yourself of our faculties and cure yourself of the joke?” “No, though I thank you for the offer. I am here to aid Lightning Flicker, and your letter explained the gravity of the situation all too well. If at first I am unsuccessful at recalling Lightning from his current stupor, then I shall indeed use the offered facilities.” “As you wish, Steel Script. Master Lightning’s room is just down the hall, first door on the right. The bathroom is the fourth door on the left, should you need it.” Steel Script trotted down the hall until she came to the door Tuxedo Prism had indicated, a large image of Lightning’s cutie mark in bronze recessed into the centre of the mahogany portal. “Lightning Flicker, are you in there? Lightning? Hey Lightning, It’s me, Steel Script! Lightning, open the door!” Steel rapped on the door with his hoof, all the while calling for her friend. As no response from Lightning was forthcoming to Steel’s pleas, Steel tried the door, surprised to find it unlocked. She entered the room, cringing as the smell of liquor assailed her senses. “Lightning?” Steel called to the seemingly empty room. “Who’re you?” slurred Lightning’s voice from a massive bed suspended from the ceiling by way of four large cables running to the corners of the room. “Steel. Steel Script. Your crazy friend from the Everfree.” prompted Steel. Lightning’s head appeared at the edge of the bed. “You’re not Steel, Steel’s a dude, dude.” “This is pointless, he’s too drunk to see straight,” sighed Steel to herself, turning her back to the dishevelled pegasus, narrowly avoiding an empty whiskey bottle thrown by Lightning. Closing the door on Lightning, Steel turned to her right and looked for the fourth door, opening it an entering the bathroom it led to, pulling out the preserved Poison Joke antidote ingredients and set about mixing them together. * * * Steel Script left the bathroom, half a head taller and with more muscular a build, in short a stallion. Stretching his legs as he went, Steel approached the door to Lightning Flicker’s room, intent of bring Lightning’s mind back to the present. “Lightning? It’s Steel Script,” called Steel, carefully sticking his muzzle into Lightning’s room The pegasus’ head again appeared at the edge of the platform. “Steel? What the fuck are you doing here?” “Tuxedo asked me to come, he’s worried about you.” “Well, that means he’s a fucking idiot.” “And what am I?” “A bigger fucking idiot.” Steel light up his horn, causing several brown bottles to float towards him, quickly followed by a rather drunk pegasus. “Gimme back my fucking BOOZE!” Steel rolled his eyes as the grey pegasus above him flew madly after the bottles which had started to float around in circles at ever increasing speeds. Soon the bottles and the pegasus chasing them were little more than a black, silver, and brown blur above Steel Script, who was praying to Luna that his idea wouldn’t turn out to result in too much cleaning later on. Thankfully for Steel, it didn’t as Lightning’s vision blurred and all energy in his wings evaporated, leaving the dazed pegasus to plummet towards the floor. Using his magic, Steel gently caught the pegasus, who had regained enough of his senses to empty his heaving gut. Sighing, Steel led his friend around the still steaming pile of stomach acid and into the bathroom. Chapter 7: CrackerjackLightning slowly opened his eyes to find himself lying on a couch, the sound of Steel humming nearby accompanied by the soft scratching of a quill nib on paper. “Steel, what happened?” asked Lightning Flicker, looking to where the light green unicorn sat. “Trust me on this one, you don’t want to know,” was all Steel said. “What are you doing here?” Lightning managed to get his hooves under him, though his legs still shook slightly. “Tuxedo Prism asked me to come, after you slammed your door on Crackerjack.” “Oh, yeah, I did that, didn’t I?” The door opened to reveal a young chocolate coloured stallion, dark brown and cream mane almost covering his orange eyes. “Yeah, you did,” said Steel. “I’m not sure how much nose I’ve got left but I’m still the prettiest one in the room,” joked the new pony. “Prettiest? Yes, but most awesome and handsome? No, that honour goes to me,” Lightning quipped in reply. “Ok, cut it out the both of you. Crackerjack, let’s just be grateful that Lightning is back on his feet and out of his dark hole,” said Steel to the brown stallion "Out and staying out? Or is this going to be a recurring thing? You can't always be around to save the day when gloomy-backstory here busts another fuse. Band-aid solutions are never clever,” said Cracker, earning a stern look from Steel. “Well, if Lightning is willing to talk about it, then yes, he will be ‘staying out,’ as you put it,” stated Steel Script as he and Crackerjack looked expectedly at the grey pegasus. Lightning flapped his way back to the couch and sat down heavily. “Fine, I’ll tell you. As you two know, I was once in the Special Tactics division of the army, and had just made captain, been given a squad, the lot, before Nightmare Moon’s return last year. Our first assignment came from Celestia’s Guards: we were to find Nightmare Moon in an attempt to recover Princess Celestia. We flew to Ponyville, that’s where the Princess was last seen, she was there for the Summer Sun Celebration. Anyway, we asked around about where Nightmare Moon might’ve gone and found that six ponies had chased something into the Everfree, so we went in after them. We flew for a bit, but we had to land to give our wings a rest in case we needed to haul feather, and we were walking under a cliff when it gave out and fell. It missed me by mere inches but the rest of my team . . . they . . . they were . . . fuck this shit, I’m out! I’m not talking to you two anymore! Go AWAY!” Steel Script and Crackerjack looked at each other, amazed and humbled by the events their friend had gone through. “I had no idea, Lightning, I wouldn’t have asked if I knew that remembering that would be so painful,” Steel lowered his head in shame. “Come on, Steel, we should let him calm down a bit,” Crackerjack motioned towards the door, turning to leave. “One question before you leave: where the fuck is my booze?” inquired Lightning Flicker. “Oh, that,” said Steel, “I -” “Steel tipped it all down the sink,” interrupted Cracker. Lightning dove towards Steel, fury engraved on his features. “Fuck you, Cracker-” was all Steel was able to say before being wrested to the ground by a furious, grey pegasus. “How could you tip my booze down the sink like that?! That shit’s expensive!” “I didn’t tip it out, I wouldn’t waste good alcohol like that, especially not your cider nor your mead,” said Steel, struggling to fend of the enraged Lightning. “Then why did Crackerjack say you did?” the pegasus demanded. “I may have suggested it as a joke, but that is all it amounted to, though why Crackerjack would say something along those lines is beyond me,” both ponies looked at Crackerjack who had dissolved into gales of laughter. “Would you two just make up already? Steel, are you sure you’re fully cured because you two are bickering like a married couple,” laughed Crackerjack. “As if I would be with someone so . . . insert insult here, I’m to hung-over to come up with one,” Lightning Flicker shot back. “Try ‘crazy’ or ‘insane.’ ‘Mentally unsound?’” suggested Steel. Lightning shook his head. “Nah, those kinds of ponies are the best, they let you do all the weird stuff in the hay.” Steel Script face-hoofed. “Why do I know you?” he asked shaking his head. Crackerjack pushed Steel through the door. “We’ll let you sort yourself out, I’m going home and suspect that Steel will be doing the same. Steel used his magic to close the door while replying. “I’ll probably stick around for a bit until Lightning sorts himself out. See you around Crackerjack.” “Catch you later, Steel” called Crackerjack as he left. Steel Script looked around for Lightning’s butler, Tuxedo, only to find him coming down the hallway towards Steel. “Is Master Crackerjack leaving?” asked Tuxedo “Yes he is, though I wish to remain here for the time being. I may need to convince Lightning Flicker to return to the Everfree.” Tuxedo shook his head, smiling. “You can try, but I doubt you’ll succeed,” he said with a chuckle. Steel shrugged as he heard Lightning Flicker searching around in the kitchen. He opened the door to find most of the cupboards open and a frantic pegasus rummaging through cupboards. Lilac magic surrounded Steel Script’s horn as to empty bottles floated from the ground towards him. Manipulating the flow of magic, Steel softly clinked the bottles together. Steel looked up to see a grey blur hurtling towards the bottles. Lightning grabbed one of the bottles, the magic surrounding it stopping his progress a little past Steel’s shoulders. Biting at the neck of the bottle, Lightning desperately tried to get at the non-existent contents. Slowly realising that he had been fooled, the grey pegasus let go of the bottle to glare at the unicorn. “Fuck you.” “I’ll pass. Come on, we’re going home,” replied Steel, levitating his saddlebags onto his back. “I’m not going with you, just get out of my home, get out of my town, and NEVER COME BACK!” yelled the pegasus, taking off. Steel’s head drooped in exasperation. “Fine.” * * * Steel Script had caught the train back to Ponyville and was relaxing in bed reading one of the old legends from before Luna became Nightmare Moon, the moon shining through the curtains, Timberwolves howling in the distance. A knock on the door roused Steel from his scroll, not entirely sure who would be entering the Everfree at this hour. Rolling up the scroll, he made his way down and opened the door to be greeted by Tuxedo Prism, the unicorn struggling to hold onto something that seemed to be trying to fly away. “Tuxedo, it is a surprise to see you here, and at this hour” said Steel. “I am sorry to bother you, but I believe you left this back in Las Pegasus,” replied Tuxedo, tugging on the struggling object, revealing a black tail that belonged to a grey pegasus. Steel Script focused on his magic, creating an ethereal lilac hoof which he sent flying into the pegasus’ face, knocking him out cold. “I’ll take it from here, at least now I can keep an eye on Lightning Flicker.” Levitating Lightning behind him, Steel bid Tuxedo good night and levitated the pegasus onto the couch and headed up to bed. Author's Note Well, It's been fun, writing this with Lightning Flicker, and special thanks to The Immolated Poet for his help with writing this chapter and with editing. If you want more hijinks, then I'm afraid you'll have to wait for the next piece to be finished, but if you can't wait, then just search for Lightning and Steel Theories over at YouTube, and you'l find us. Thanks for reading. Goodbye everypony.
Chapter 1: HijinksChapter 1: Hijinks An aura of lilac magic enveloped the inert winged form on the desk. The pegasus was gently lifted off several pages covered in scrawling writing; the magic levitated the pegasus a few feet to the side before vanishing and leaving the pegasus to fall and jolt awake. “Shit! Why are you dropping me on the GROUND! I HATE the ground!” cried the pegasus, light grey wings instantly snapping open and launching him into the air, coming to a hover just below the ceiling, his cutie mark, a pair of nails and a hammer sporting a lightning bolt, clearly visible. “Oh get over it Lighting, It’s your own fault for sleeping on my work. Why aren’t you still on the fridge? That’s where you were last night,” inquired a pastel green unicorn with a rather curious cutie mark. It consisted of two crossed quills above a strange symbol on a grey shield, behind which two scrolls unfurled and crossed over one another. The unicorn impatiently sat at the desk previously occupied by the grey pegasus now hovering above and behind the unicorn’s head. “I figured you would come into your study sooner or later, and last time I tried to go into your room I got hit in the face by one of your stupid toys. But this is REALLY important. We’re out of BEER!” cried Lightning with pure desperation, “aaaand I took that thing you told me not to touch out of the freezer to make room for my ice-cream. It turned purple.” The unicorn turned to look at Lightning. “One, you don’t even live here, so why are you keeping stuff in my freezer? And two, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TOUCHING MY STUFF! If it has ‘Steel Script’s’ written on it, don’t touch it. You ruined a project that took me months to get right. This was looking like my first successful attempt! Magical constructs are highly sensitive to disturbance. Now I’ve got to go get more Poison Joke, and you know what happened last time!” Lightning thought for a second before bursting out into raucous gales of laughter at the thought. “I wouldn’t mind if that happened again” Steel Script shook his head and concentrated. A lilac aura manifested itself around his horn as he focused. Lightning Flicker opened his red eyes just in time to see a large lilac hoof flying towards his face. BONK! “Hey! I already have one scar, I don’t need another!” “Then never bring that time up again!” called Steel as he turned to the stairs that lead to the lounge beneath the study. As he teleported down them, he wished that line-of-sight wasn’t a restriction. “No promises!” Lightning called back as Steel Script opened the door to leave while levitating a pair of saddlebags onto his back, taking care to avoid his dark blue mane; “and get some more beer while you’re out!” Steel shook his head as he slammed the door. * * * “Why is he still here? Why doesn’t he go back to Las Pegasus?” Steel Script vented to the nearby trees. “Because you’re my biographer and you need to document my adventures of epic proportions” replied Lightning, following Steel while always remaining several feet from the ground. “No, Lightning Flicker, I’m choosing to document your ego of epic proportions,” chastised Steel. “Yeah, my ego is pretty impressive.” Lightning shot back smugly, shaking his black mane. “By Celestia . . .” muttered Steel as he trotted among the forlorn and twisted limbs of the trees of the Everfree, “You know, you’re lucky I live near a patch of Poison Joke, it means that every time you stuff up one of my experiments I can easily get some more.” “Can we get some beer while we’re out?” asked Lightning. “No. I’ll get some more next week, when I normally do. It’s your own fault for drinking it all.” “You’re mean.” “Your fault for not going back to Las Pegasus,” said Steel with a sense of finality. The duo stopped at the edge of a Poison Joke patch. “Why do you need this stuff anyway?” asked Lightning, floating well above the blue petals of the plant. “I’m trying to create an artificial Timberwolf heart, however, I can’t keep feeding it my own magic to keep it running, I’d be too exhausted to move,” explained Steel as he lowered his saddle bags and took a step back before starting to levitate individual petals into them. “An artificial whowhatnow?” “An artificial Timberwolf heart, basically, if I succeed, a Timberwolf should form around it. “So why the Poison Joke?” asked Lightning. “Because Poison Joke contains large amounts of magic in order to play its ‘jokes,’ therefore it is the perfect substitute for constant recharging,” explained Steel as he continued to pick Poison Joke. “OK, but why are you trying to make an artificial Timberwolf! I mean, those things are everywhere and try to eat me every time I see one!” said lightning as he shot up into the overhanging branches of a nearby tree. “I’m trying to understand Timberwolves as a species, and I believe that the best way to do so is to create one. Add to that the fact that I found a way to form a primarily magic-based creature such as a Timberwolf around a central point of magic, in effect, a heart. Also, if you don’t like it, you can go back to Las Pegasus,” explained Steel as he finished collecting Poison Joke. “But why? I mean, they EAT ponies and fall apart when hit with a rock for Celestia’s sake, what is there to understand?” pestered Lightning, lingering over the deceptive petals below him. “Have you seen their social interactions? Do you know if they reproduce? Where does the energy to sustain their magic come from? These are questions that I want to answer, and to do so I need to study them, therefore I decided to start small and relatively simple. Hence the artificial heart. Also, heads up.” Lightning looked up in time to see a blue petal land on his nose. “FUCK YOU!” Author's Note Hey, thanks for reading! If you want to enjoy more of Lightning and Steel's content, go on over to YouTube and check out our videos discussing theories that look and various things in the MLP universe. Here's the link to our channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5XozvvlAb4KGg1tvAQjafw
Chapter 2: Scootaloo?Chapter 2: Scootaloo? “You do know that I will kill you in the morning. After breakfast of course, because I’m not cooking if somepony else can do it for me,” said Lightning as the duo reached Steel’s home. Steel Script’s home was a comfortable hut, half of which was built into a large, ancient oak tree which had hollowed with old age, allowing a study and two bedrooms to be built within its trunk. The rest of the hut jutted out, yet remaining melded with the tree, a strange sight on the edges of the Everfree Forest. “Whatever. Kill me, and you don’t get the antidote. And don’t bother going to Zecora, she still refuses to talk to you after last time,” replied the unfazed Steel Script. * * * As the sun rose the next morning, Steel Script woke to a bed covered in light grey feathers, the sight of which forced a chuckle out of the unicorn. “You do know I hate the ground right?” Lightning shot at the light green pony on the bed below him, spreading his now bare wings. “Yes, Chicken Wings, I do. You keep reminding me every five minutes. What do you have against the ground? I fail to see what it could have done to you.” replied Steel, laughter clear in his voice. “The ground is a dangerous place” “More dangerous than flying? The sky is full of tornadoes, strong wind currents, and thunderclouds.” “Whatever, you’re carrying me around while you gather the stuff you need for the antidote so I can fly again, just let me get my jacket.” Steel rolled his eyes at Lightning’s last order. “Fine, but touch my mane and I WILL buck you off this time,” Steel grumbled as he unceremoniously lifted the Pegasus onto his back and left his home. * * * Steel plodded steadily along, muttering curses silently as the pegasus he carried constantly squirmed in an effort to get comfortable. “Why in Celestia’s name did you come?” cried Steel exasperatedly. “Because your house is stupidly dangerous,” replied Lightning, a hint of fear in his voice. “It’s a hut on the edge of the Everfree, how can it be dangerous?” “I could trip on the rug in the lounge.” “A rug?” “Yes! Rugs are on the ground, therefore they’re dangerous” “It’s a rug!” “I could fall down those stupid stairs! Why do those things even exi-” CRASH! Lightning found himself tangled in the branches of a tree after being bucked forcibly off Steel’s back. Steel looked at Lightning, anger tempered with laughter in his lilac eyes. “I warned you not to touch my mane.” “At least I’m off the ground.” “Well, there is our first ingredient,” Steel said, pointing at it. “Finally.” * * * The sun had passed its peak before Steel had carried Lightning to locations were all the ingredients could be found and had since returned to Steel’s house. “Hurry up and make the antidote, I want to get off the ground,” whined Lightning, flapping his naked wings with all his might and to no avail. “Alright, I will, it’s just that it takes time to make it, but I can promise you that you will have your feathers back before the end of the day,” Steel called over his shoulder as he walked down a hall at the back of the lounge and opened the door to the bathroom. “Just make it quic-” THUNK Steel came out of the bathroom and walked down the hall to find Lightning Flicker on floor in the lounge. “I tripped over your fucking rug!” Steel sat down quickly before falling backwards, laughing hysterically at the sight and implications of what just occurred. “You have GOT to be kidding me!” laughed Steel’s as he tried to regain his composure. “Just make that fucking antidote!” cried Lightning Flicker. “Okay, okay,” chuckled Steel as he returned to the task at hand. Author's Note Thanks for reading! However, this isn't the only place you can find Lightning and Steel, so if you want more, go on over to YouTube and watch our videos on various theories centered around MLP. Enjoy our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5XozvvlAb4KGg1tvAQjafw
Chapter 3: Antidotes and LathesChapter 3: Antidotes and Lathes After many bangs and more than a few odd smells had diffused throughout the house, the Poison Joke antidote was ready, causing Lightning Flicker to flap his bare wings in anticipation of having his feathers return. Steel was almost knocked flat by the pegasus’s headlong charge before being bucked out the door and into the hallway wall. Steel entered the lounge and turned to his saddlebags and was levitating the Poison Joke into a bowl when Lightning called out to him. “Can you get me a vodka martini, shaken not stirred? And when I say vodka martini, I mean straight vodka. In the bottle.” Steel shook his head before shouting over his shoulder. “You drank the last of the vodka on Tuesday. We’re out of alcohol in general!” as Steel went back to his work, he muttered to himself: “what happened to Lightning to make him drink so much?” Steel used his magic to pull various books, tools, instruments, and ingredients towards him, including what appeared to be a large pile of firewood and kindling. Steel looked over his shoulder and called out, “Hey, Lightning, mind if I use your tools again?” as he levitated a set of carving tools towards him. Lightning’s voice had an edge of irritation in it as he replied. “DON’T TOUCH MY TOOLS! I’ll get some that you can use.” “Too late, I’m using the one’s you keep under my cooking utensils.” “Fine, just don’t touch the ones in the couch.” Steel Script suddenly looked up from his preparations, an expression of horror on his muzzle. He looked over his shoulder to the door to his bathroom, before shrugging it off and levitating all the equipment behind him as he walked down the hall to a door at the very end which opened up into a small yet serviceable workshop that doubled as a laboratory. Steel Script stood in front of a lathe and set a smallish log in between the two stocks and started to use the hoof pedal, the lathe gaining speed. Once the lathe, and the wood on it, was moving fast enough, Steel levitated one of the tools he borrowed off Lightning and started to turn down the log. * * * It wasn’t long before the log had been turned down to an elongated oval, the roughly carved surface of the wood’s grain swirling in nearly hypnotic patterns. “Are you still trying to make that artificial Timberwolf thingy?” came a voice a few feet above and behind Steel, causing him to jump and light up his horn at the same time. “LIGHTNING FLICKER! How many times do I have to tell you not to do that, although I do see that your feathers are back,” said Steel Script as he found Lightning hovering off the ground behind him. “Like I ever listen to you. So, Timberwolf thingy, you still doing that?” Lightning pestered. “Yes, now go do something that doesn’t involve me!” yelled Steel, his annoyance at Lightning building, “or if you have to stay here, please stay QUIET!” “Fine, I’ll try to shut up,” muttered Lightning Flicker, flying through the door only to return a few moments later, pushing a fluffy white cloud ahead of him. Steel Script rolled his eyes as the pegasus reclined in the cloud, and levitated the oval shaped wood in front of him along with a hack-saw and proceeded to cut the oval in half. “Why don’t you just make a toy to do that instead of using my tools?” queried Lightning from the cloud he was resting upon. “Because my magical constructs are often purely defensive or act as a deterrent, I don’t know how to make an edge sharp enough or stable enough to cut through wood,” replied Steel. “But you punch me in the face with those things, frequently!” “Again, they do no lasting damage and cannot draw blood. They are a deterrent, and I use them on you because I frequently need to deter your mouth from making an idiot out of you.” The two halves of the oval fell slightly as the saw finished its work. “Now, if you don’t mind, I would like to get back to work.”
Chapter 4: VulpesChapter 4: Vulpes The next morning . . . “Steel, I’m hungry, make me food!” Lightning’s plea as morning sun filtered through the windows in the workshop “Ah Steel? Are you awake?” Lightning asked the form hunched over in front of the lathe. “Wha-?” “Did you fall asleep while working?” asked Lightning, barely holding in his laughter. “Hey, I had to carry you around all day, and then make that Poison Joke antidote, and I was up carving out that sphere well after Luna had raised the moon, so yes I’m tired,” mumbled Steel Script as he passed a hoof over his eyes. “I don’t care, make me food!” “I need to keep working, this heart won’t carve itself, get some cereal or something,” Steel turned his attention to the two hollowed out halves of his sphere. “But I ate all the Luna Pop’s last night, and anyway, I want bacon.” Steel rolled his eyes as he picked up a small gouge and started to carve arcane runes into the halves. “You spend far too much time with griffins and dragons. You shouldn’t be eating meat. Anyway, I don’t have any bacon, I never do.” “Freaking vegetarians, meat tastes good,” muttered the disgruntled Pegasus. “If you want bacon, you can go and socialise.” “But nopony likes me.” Steel Script looked at his friend. “What happened while you were in Celestia’s Guard? I remember when we first met as two colts in Canterlot, you seemed like a nice guy, but then you entered the military, and when you came back after Princess Luna’s return, you just weren’t the same, always drinking and moping, and then there’s that scar, how, in blue blazes, did you get that thing?” Steel suddenly found himself staring into a pair of red wells of sorrow and anguish. “I’ll only say this once: I don’t want to talk about it, and if you push me again, I WILL follow you around with a thundercloud. I’m happy as I am, I don’t need you to bring up the past when I buried it.” The pastel unicorn took a step back at the venom in his friend’s voice. “As you wish. Oats alright for breakfast?” “Yeah, fine.” Steel left Lightning Flicker to his thoughts. * * * The sun had sunk beneath the horizon and the moon was casting its pale light from up high in Luna’s dark and jewelled sky by the time Steel Script had finished carving the necessary runes into the two halves of the heart. “. . . of wateeeeeeeeerrrrrr! Right, now that that’s done, I can start on the catalyst for the construction phase, which should trigger after the initial burst of magic . . .” muttered Steel as he started to grind up some Poison Joke and Heart’s Desire in a mortar and pestle. “Are you rambling to yourself again? You must be crazy ‘cos talking to yourself is the first sign of madness,” Lightning Flicker piped up as he lazily flapped his way in. “You’re only just picking up on my mild insanity?” quipped Steel in way of reply. “No, I’m just pointing it out again. So what are you doing now?” asked Lightning, coming to a hover in the middle of the workshop. “I’m mixing up Heart’s Desire and Poison Joke to create a substance that will hopefully cause the Timberwolf to form around the heart. By the way, you might want to back up a bit,” said Steel Script as he levitated the two halves of the sphere together, enclosing the Heart’s Desire and Poison Joke powder in the centre. A beam of lilac magic shot from Steel Script’s horn and enveloped the sphere, causing to start spinning. After a few seconds, Steel discontinued the beam and sat down, the heart still spinning in the grasp in his levitation spell. “So what does it do?” inquired Lighting from his cloud. “Just wait.” “Wait for wha-?” Lightning was cut off by a shaped hunk of wood hitting him in the back of head. Pieces of wood were gathering and revolving around the Timberwolf heart, forming a muzzle, legs, paws, and tail. Slowly a lupine form assembled itself around the spinning heart, violet magic pulling the pieces into place. “That’s not a Timberwolf,” said Lightning Flicker, staring at the creature that had been formed. The creature had a thinner muzzle and face than that of a Timberwolf and stood a good three feet below the monsters that it emulated. The ‘ears’ were wider and the body slimmer, and the twigs that made up the tail were more numerous and appeared bushier than that of a true Timberwolf. Its eyes glowed with violet magic as it sniffed around Steel Script’s hoofs for food. Steel Script levitated a bowl of Poison Joke towards the artificial Timberwolf while simultaneously levitating a notebook and quill towards him. “AH13 was successful,” muttered Steel as he wrote his observations, “resulting subject is smaller and physically dissimilar to natural Timberwolves.” Steel and Lightning both looked down at the ‘Timberfox’ as it wolfed down the blue petals that lay before it. “Intended diet enchantments succeeded, as Subject 01 appears to feed on Humor Herba without any immediate side effects.” “Does it do anything, or does it just exist?” asked Lightning Flicker, poking his hoof at the Timberfox. “I made it to study it, nothing more.” “That’s kinda mean, at least name it or something.” “It’s a scientific experiment, to name it would be unprofessional” countered Steel “Now you’re acting like more of a dick than me.” “Fine. I’ll call it . . . Vulpes,” declared Steel Script, looking down at the newly christened Timberfox. Lightning Flicker lowered his cloud down to Vulpes’ level and started to stroke the Timberfox’s back. “Hear that little guy, your daddy decided to name you. I don’t know what it means, but it sounds cool.” Steel rolled his eyes. “Vulpes is the scientific name for fox. And I’m not its father.” And with that, Vulpes burped, two small, blue petals escaping is wooden maw and landing on Steel’s nearby hoof. “Oh, shit,” sighed Steel Script. “Why, what’s wrong?” asked Lightning. “Well, it just ate Poison Joke, and it burped on me before it could fully ingest the plant.” Lightning burst out into gales of raucous laughter. Steel rolled his eyes and looked down at Vulpes. “Next time, I’m going to try Heart’s Desire petals.” “You can only find them in Ponyville and you’re going to need to feed him sometime tomorrow or recharge his energy yourself. And you used all of the antidote ingredients today to cure me, so you’re going to need more. Tomorrow is going to be fun.” Said Lightning with unbridled glee. “Glad to see you find my rather . . . unique . . . situation so hysterical. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed, casting the spell to kick-start Vulpes took a lot out of me,” yelled an angered Steel Script as he stormed out of the workshop and up the stairs to his bedroom. Author's Note There will be a little rule 63 for the next few chapters, so you have been warned.
Chapter 5: Warning: Rule 63Chapter 5: Warning: Rule 63 Steel woke to a cool breeze across his flank and to Lightning Flicker floating on a cloud staring at him, wings open. “By Celestia, GET OUT!” Steel roared. “But, it happened!” protested Lightning. “I know, now GET OUT!” “Fine,” muttered Lightning, reluctantly pushing his cloud out the open window. Steel Script swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, the sensation of being shorter and sleeker bringing back bad memories from the last time he had come into contact with Poison Joke. “I hate it when this happens,” said Steel, looking over his shoulder. Lightning’s head appeared in the window, a grin on his muzzle. “I don’t.” Steel lit up his horn, slamming the window shut is friends face. “Can’t a stallion get any piece around here?” he muttered. The window opened again. “Don’t you mean mare?” Lightning said after dropping the screwdriver he had been holding in his mouth. “That’s not the point!” yelled a transformed Steel Script. Steel had indeed become a mare overnight after last night’s Poison Joke incident, now standing roughly half a head shorter than normal. “Well it’s not like anypony is going to notice. I’m the only one who knows what happened,” Lightning pointed out. “Except that my muzzle looks . . . wrong” “Not to me, it doesn’t.” “You don’t have an opinion on this, you’re not the one who just lost their stallionhood!” Lightning burst out laughing before managing to stammer out “Will you sleep with me this time?” Lightning got a glimpse of Steel’s butt before being bucked out the window. Lightning managed to right himself and open his wings mere inches before hitting the ground. His eyes widened and he shot straight up, a black and silver trail following his path as he took a sharp turn into Steel Script’s bedroom, flinging himself onto his friend, muttering incoherently. Annoyed at the sudden contact in light of the recent events, Steel shook her mane. “Lightning, get OFF!” she yelled, before realising what the pegasus was saying. “. . . nonononononononononono, not the ground, not again, Cloud Roller, everyone, not the ground, no, no, no . . .” Steel Script’s face instantly changed as the full extent of Lightning’s situation dawned on her. “Lightning, relax, it’s over. It’s okay, you’re here, you’re safe, you’re off the ground, and you’re going to be fine. Let’s get some chocolate.” Steel Script carried her panicking friend to the top of the stairs, granting a clear view of the kitchen. Lighting up her horn, Steel levitated a bar of chocolate out of her fridge and up to where she stood. She turned and entered her bedroom. Steel hovered the bar of chocolate over her bed and used her magic to unwrap it, letting the smell reach Lightning Flicker’s nose and coax the frightened pegasus onto the bed. “It’s okay Lightning, It’s over,” said Steel as her friend gingerly nibbled at the bar, “I’m sorry for bucking you out the window.” Steel left Lightning to calm down and entered the study, reluctant to leave Lightning home alone in his current state of recall. Levitating quills, ink, and blank scrolls of parchment to the oaken desk opposite the door, Steel started to document her success with Vulpes. * * * Steel Script looked up from her work, the rays of the afternoon sun filtering in through the window. She stood up and left the study, entering the bedroom where she had left Lightning Flicker, only to find an open window and empty room. “Well fuck.” Steel exited the bedroom and trotted down the stairs, reasoning that Lightning had probably left to stretch his wings. Levitating her saddlebags onto her back, Steel once again left her house and set out to find the ingredients to mix up another batch of the Poison Joke antidote. * * * Upon Steel Script's return to her house, she came across a mail-mare knocking on the door to her home. “Can I help you?” she asked, wondering who was sending her mail. “I’m looking for a ‘Steel Script,’ do you know him?” inquired the mail-mare, turning around. “That would be me.” The mail-mare focused her skewed yellow eyes on Steel, confusion furrowing her brow. “It’s complicated,” Steel explained. “Okay, here you go,’ said the mail-mare, reaching into her saddlebags and withdrawing a brown envelope addressed to Steel. “Thank you, have a safe flight,” farewelled Steel, opening the door into her home. “Goodbye,” replied the grey pegasus before launching herself into the air and flying towards Ponyville. Once inside, Steel sat down on the couch in her lounge, levitating the letter in front of her, using her magic to open the envelope and withdraw the folded contents. To Steel Script I feel obligated to inform you that your friend, Lightning Flicker, has returned to his penthouse in Las Pegasus. While this alone is cause for little concern, it is the manner of Lightning Flicker’s return that drew my attention. He appeared to be in a state of depression, and refuses to leave his room. He only opens his door to receive the ponies that are delivering copious amounts of chocolate and ice-cream. I urge that you come to Las Pegasus at your earliest convenience and see if you can talk him back to sense, I have asked the same of Crackerjack, though his visit was met with nothing but silence. Yours in faith Tuxedo Prism Butler to Lightning Flicker Steel lowered the letter. “Well, fuck.” Steel set about rapidly gathering items that would prove useful on her trip to Las Pegasus before catching a glimpse of her reflection in a mirror. As she looked at her reflection, a war arose in her mind between her desire to return to her true self or to aid her friend and forego curing herself until the situation with Lightning had been resolved. “Oh bugger this. And bugger you, Lightning,” sighed Steel as she resumed her preparations to leave. After ensuring that she had everything she might need, including the ingredients for the Poison Joke antidote packed safely, Steel left her house and hurried through Ponyville to the train station. “One ticket to Las Pegasus, please,” requested Steel, levitating several bits out of her saddlebags and onto the ticket vendor’s counter. “What’s the hurry?” asked the vendor, producing a ticket from beneath the counter. “No time to explain,” Steel yelled as her train pulled into the station. Steel galloped onto to the train, flashing her ticket to the conductor and quickly taking a seat. * * * The stopping of train jerked Steel awake as the train slowed to a stop. Looking out the window, the horizon was obscured by towers of metal and glass, skyscrapers that were a credit to Earth Pony engineering. Steel had arrived in Las Pegasus.
Chapter 6: Las PegasusChapter 6: Las Pegasus The motion of the train jerked Steel Script awake as the train stopped at the Las Pegasus train station, brakes squealing in protest. Steel left the train and took in the sight she had seen only a year prior, after receiving a letter bearing the seal of Princess Luna, asking for help with a certain pegasus. The buildings towered above her, the point where metal and glass became cloud indistinguishable, cloud palaces sitting atop skyscrapers. The sight filled Steel with the same wonder it had when she had first met the ill-tempered pegasus at the behest of the Princess of the Night. Steel started to trot towards a building that stood slightly apart from the others, ignoring all other sights offered by the impressive city. “The Lightning Struck Casino. This should be good,” muttered Steel as she approached the lone tower. Steel entered the casino to be assaulted by noise and lights, the sounds of ponies gambling and bright lights to attract them. “Can I help you ma’am?” asked an earth pony in a red coat. “I’ll be fine, I’m here to see Lighting Flicker,” replied Steel, showing the pony the letter from Tuxedo Prism. “Ah, go right ahead.” Steel entered a nearby elevator, pressing the highest button in the elevator, the sensation of being forced to the ground pressing down on her briefly. Almost a minute had gone by when the doors finally opened at the highest floor open to the public, revealing a bustling restaurant in front of her and a hallway off to her left. Ignoring the inviting smells that wafted from the restaurant, Steel turned down the hallway, quickly approaching a door that boor the words ‘Do Not Enter.’ Pushing the door open and trotting down the hallway that lay behind it. Steel followed the corridor as it curved gently, soon ending in an elevator, a number pad attached. Steel punched in the code, the elevator doors sliding open and allowing Steel Script access to the floors where her friend reigned supreme. After several seconds, the elevator slowed, and the doors parted to show a grey-blue unicorn with an ageing mane standing just outside. “Ah good, Master, ah Mistress, Steel, I was unaware of your, ah, current condition,” the pony faltered as he realised who he was talking to. “Not to worry, Tuxedo, I am the one at fault, I should have forewarned you of my situation,” replied Steel. “Would you like to avail yourself of our faculties and cure yourself of the joke?” “No, though I thank you for the offer. I am here to aid Lightning Flicker, and your letter explained the gravity of the situation all too well. If at first I am unsuccessful at recalling Lightning from his current stupor, then I shall indeed use the offered facilities.” “As you wish, Steel Script. Master Lightning’s room is just down the hall, first door on the right. The bathroom is the fourth door on the left, should you need it.” Steel Script trotted down the hall until she came to the door Tuxedo Prism had indicated, a large image of Lightning’s cutie mark in bronze recessed into the centre of the mahogany portal. “Lightning Flicker, are you in there? Lightning? Hey Lightning, It’s me, Steel Script! Lightning, open the door!” Steel rapped on the door with his hoof, all the while calling for her friend. As no response from Lightning was forthcoming to Steel’s pleas, Steel tried the door, surprised to find it unlocked. She entered the room, cringing as the smell of liquor assailed her senses. “Lightning?” Steel called to the seemingly empty room. “Who’re you?” slurred Lightning’s voice from a massive bed suspended from the ceiling by way of four large cables running to the corners of the room. “Steel. Steel Script. Your crazy friend from the Everfree.” prompted Steel. Lightning’s head appeared at the edge of the bed. “You’re not Steel, Steel’s a dude, dude.” “This is pointless, he’s too drunk to see straight,” sighed Steel to herself, turning her back to the dishevelled pegasus, narrowly avoiding an empty whiskey bottle thrown by Lightning. Closing the door on Lightning, Steel turned to her right and looked for the fourth door, opening it an entering the bathroom it led to, pulling out the preserved Poison Joke antidote ingredients and set about mixing them together. * * * Steel Script left the bathroom, half a head taller and with more muscular a build, in short a stallion. Stretching his legs as he went, Steel approached the door to Lightning Flicker’s room, intent of bring Lightning’s mind back to the present. “Lightning? It’s Steel Script,” called Steel, carefully sticking his muzzle into Lightning’s room The pegasus’ head again appeared at the edge of the platform. “Steel? What the fuck are you doing here?” “Tuxedo asked me to come, he’s worried about you.” “Well, that means he’s a fucking idiot.” “And what am I?” “A bigger fucking idiot.” Steel light up his horn, causing several brown bottles to float towards him, quickly followed by a rather drunk pegasus. “Gimme back my fucking BOOZE!” Steel rolled his eyes as the grey pegasus above him flew madly after the bottles which had started to float around in circles at ever increasing speeds. Soon the bottles and the pegasus chasing them were little more than a black, silver, and brown blur above Steel Script, who was praying to Luna that his idea wouldn’t turn out to result in too much cleaning later on. Thankfully for Steel, it didn’t as Lightning’s vision blurred and all energy in his wings evaporated, leaving the dazed pegasus to plummet towards the floor. Using his magic, Steel gently caught the pegasus, who had regained enough of his senses to empty his heaving gut. Sighing, Steel led his friend around the still steaming pile of stomach acid and into the bathroom.
Chapter 7: CrackerjackLightning slowly opened his eyes to find himself lying on a couch, the sound of Steel humming nearby accompanied by the soft scratching of a quill nib on paper. “Steel, what happened?” asked Lightning Flicker, looking to where the light green unicorn sat. “Trust me on this one, you don’t want to know,” was all Steel said. “What are you doing here?” Lightning managed to get his hooves under him, though his legs still shook slightly. “Tuxedo Prism asked me to come, after you slammed your door on Crackerjack.” “Oh, yeah, I did that, didn’t I?” The door opened to reveal a young chocolate coloured stallion, dark brown and cream mane almost covering his orange eyes. “Yeah, you did,” said Steel. “I’m not sure how much nose I’ve got left but I’m still the prettiest one in the room,” joked the new pony. “Prettiest? Yes, but most awesome and handsome? No, that honour goes to me,” Lightning quipped in reply. “Ok, cut it out the both of you. Crackerjack, let’s just be grateful that Lightning is back on his feet and out of his dark hole,” said Steel to the brown stallion "Out and staying out? Or is this going to be a recurring thing? You can't always be around to save the day when gloomy-backstory here busts another fuse. Band-aid solutions are never clever,” said Cracker, earning a stern look from Steel. “Well, if Lightning is willing to talk about it, then yes, he will be ‘staying out,’ as you put it,” stated Steel Script as he and Crackerjack looked expectedly at the grey pegasus. Lightning flapped his way back to the couch and sat down heavily. “Fine, I’ll tell you. As you two know, I was once in the Special Tactics division of the army, and had just made captain, been given a squad, the lot, before Nightmare Moon’s return last year. Our first assignment came from Celestia’s Guards: we were to find Nightmare Moon in an attempt to recover Princess Celestia. We flew to Ponyville, that’s where the Princess was last seen, she was there for the Summer Sun Celebration. Anyway, we asked around about where Nightmare Moon might’ve gone and found that six ponies had chased something into the Everfree, so we went in after them. We flew for a bit, but we had to land to give our wings a rest in case we needed to haul feather, and we were walking under a cliff when it gave out and fell. It missed me by mere inches but the rest of my team . . . they . . . they were . . . fuck this shit, I’m out! I’m not talking to you two anymore! Go AWAY!” Steel Script and Crackerjack looked at each other, amazed and humbled by the events their friend had gone through. “I had no idea, Lightning, I wouldn’t have asked if I knew that remembering that would be so painful,” Steel lowered his head in shame. “Come on, Steel, we should let him calm down a bit,” Crackerjack motioned towards the door, turning to leave. “One question before you leave: where the fuck is my booze?” inquired Lightning Flicker. “Oh, that,” said Steel, “I -” “Steel tipped it all down the sink,” interrupted Cracker. Lightning dove towards Steel, fury engraved on his features. “Fuck you, Cracker-” was all Steel was able to say before being wrested to the ground by a furious, grey pegasus. “How could you tip my booze down the sink like that?! That shit’s expensive!” “I didn’t tip it out, I wouldn’t waste good alcohol like that, especially not your cider nor your mead,” said Steel, struggling to fend of the enraged Lightning. “Then why did Crackerjack say you did?” the pegasus demanded. “I may have suggested it as a joke, but that is all it amounted to, though why Crackerjack would say something along those lines is beyond me,” both ponies looked at Crackerjack who had dissolved into gales of laughter. “Would you two just make up already? Steel, are you sure you’re fully cured because you two are bickering like a married couple,” laughed Crackerjack. “As if I would be with someone so . . . insert insult here, I’m to hung-over to come up with one,” Lightning Flicker shot back. “Try ‘crazy’ or ‘insane.’ ‘Mentally unsound?’” suggested Steel. Lightning shook his head. “Nah, those kinds of ponies are the best, they let you do all the weird stuff in the hay.” Steel Script face-hoofed. “Why do I know you?” he asked shaking his head. Crackerjack pushed Steel through the door. “We’ll let you sort yourself out, I’m going home and suspect that Steel will be doing the same. Steel used his magic to close the door while replying. “I’ll probably stick around for a bit until Lightning sorts himself out. See you around Crackerjack.” “Catch you later, Steel” called Crackerjack as he left. Steel Script looked around for Lightning’s butler, Tuxedo, only to find him coming down the hallway towards Steel. “Is Master Crackerjack leaving?” asked Tuxedo “Yes he is, though I wish to remain here for the time being. I may need to convince Lightning Flicker to return to the Everfree.” Tuxedo shook his head, smiling. “You can try, but I doubt you’ll succeed,” he said with a chuckle. Steel shrugged as he heard Lightning Flicker searching around in the kitchen. He opened the door to find most of the cupboards open and a frantic pegasus rummaging through cupboards. Lilac magic surrounded Steel Script’s horn as to empty bottles floated from the ground towards him. Manipulating the flow of magic, Steel softly clinked the bottles together. Steel looked up to see a grey blur hurtling towards the bottles. Lightning grabbed one of the bottles, the magic surrounding it stopping his progress a little past Steel’s shoulders. Biting at the neck of the bottle, Lightning desperately tried to get at the non-existent contents. Slowly realising that he had been fooled, the grey pegasus let go of the bottle to glare at the unicorn. “Fuck you.” “I’ll pass. Come on, we’re going home,” replied Steel, levitating his saddlebags onto his back. “I’m not going with you, just get out of my home, get out of my town, and NEVER COME BACK!” yelled the pegasus, taking off. Steel’s head drooped in exasperation. “Fine.” * * * Steel Script had caught the train back to Ponyville and was relaxing in bed reading one of the old legends from before Luna became Nightmare Moon, the moon shining through the curtains, Timberwolves howling in the distance. A knock on the door roused Steel from his scroll, not entirely sure who would be entering the Everfree at this hour. Rolling up the scroll, he made his way down and opened the door to be greeted by Tuxedo Prism, the unicorn struggling to hold onto something that seemed to be trying to fly away. “Tuxedo, it is a surprise to see you here, and at this hour” said Steel. “I am sorry to bother you, but I believe you left this back in Las Pegasus,” replied Tuxedo, tugging on the struggling object, revealing a black tail that belonged to a grey pegasus. Steel Script focused on his magic, creating an ethereal lilac hoof which he sent flying into the pegasus’ face, knocking him out cold. “I’ll take it from here, at least now I can keep an eye on Lightning Flicker.” Levitating Lightning behind him, Steel bid Tuxedo good night and levitated the pegasus onto the couch and headed up to bed. Author's Note Well, It's been fun, writing this with Lightning Flicker, and special thanks to The Immolated Poet for his help with writing this chapter and with editing. If you want more hijinks, then I'm afraid you'll have to wait for the next piece to be finished, but if you can't wait, then just search for Lightning and Steel Theories over at YouTube, and you'l find us. Thanks for reading. Goodbye everypony.
