*click*
“…Just 4 easy payments of 25 bits and…”
*click*
“…the best muffins in all of Equestria…”
*click*
“…don’t forget there is a rain shower scheduled for…”
*click*
“…all this and more on tonight’s episode of ‘All My Parasprites’…”
*click*
“UGH! There’s NOTHING ON!!!” Rainbow Dash groaned as she slammed the remote down to the table. Her five fellow friends seemed to be equally disheartened as the fourth hour of their very first ‘TV Viewing Party Night’ was going nowhere.
“So… what was the purpose of this invention again” Applejack asked, trying her hardest to stay awake. Twilight only shrugged. “Well, Princess Celestia said that ‘television’ was supposed to provide everypony with information and entertainment right from their own living rooms.”
“Yeah, if you call hitting a button on this remote thing ‘entertainment’” Rainbow snorted. “I mean you’d think with all these channels, that there would be at least SOMETHING interesting to watch!”
“Yes, it does seem that this whole venture is simply a waste of time.” Rarity noted as she sipped her lemon tea she had prepared earlier. “This television has nothing to offer a pony with such sophisticated tastes such as myself. By the way, you never told us why you invited us all here Pinkie?”
Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Ever since the Cakes got this TV, I saw some really neat shows on it! So I thought we could have a TV Party while we watch them together!”
“Too bad all these shows are a ‘might boring”. Applejack stated, trying to suppress a yawn.
“I’m just shocked at the lack of educational programming” Twilight added. “You’d think with such a powerful invention that it would be used to broadcast programs to expand the minds of ponies everywhere!”
“What kind of shows did you have in mind, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked.
Twilight placed a hoof on her chin. “Hmm... Maybe something like ‘This Week in Astrological Theory’ or maybe ‘The Royal Canterlot Archives: The Early Years’. Oh! How about ‘The Wonderful World of Checklists’! Wouldn’t that make a great show?” Twilight grinned at her friends, awaiting a response. Her expression softened a bit, however, as she was met with a mixture of sighs, groans, facehoofs, and giggles.
“Uh, Twilight,” Applejack replied “They ain’t gonna make shows that nopony’s gonna watch, sugarcube.”
“Unless they make an all-egghead channel!” Rainbow chuckled.
Twilight frowned “Well, it’s certainly better than ‘Equestrian Gladiators’.”
Rainbow backed off a bit and raised her front hooves, defending herself. “Hey, that was a very deep show! It’s about how one pony can overcome all challenges and obstacles before them in order to become a stronger pony! It’s about the sacrifices, the blood, sweat, and tears that must be taken in order to achieve everlasting glory!” She got up onto a nearby table and stood in a dramatic pose to emphasize the grandness of her speech.
“You were just head over hoof over that pegasus stallion contestant, weren’t you Dashie?” Pinkie Pie giggled.
Rainbow’s face turned a shade red, “Well… you gotta admit he was pretty attractive.”
Rarity nodded, taking another sip from her tea cup. “He was certainly well built for a stallion. But did they really have to dress him up in that ridiculous excuse of an outfit?” She frowned as she remembered the outfit that nearly broke her will to live.
Twilight tried to reassure her fellow unicorn companion. “It IS practical for an athletic competition, Rarity”.
“Yes, I know that, but the color scheme was just so ghastly!” Rarity shouted, nearly spilling her tea onto the floor. “And was that cape REALLY necessary? He’s not a comic book character, after all. They should have laws against wearing such travesties in public!”
“Well… um…” Fluttershy spoke up “I liked that fantasy show.”
Twilight’s eyes twitched at the mention of one of the shows the group had viewed earlier that evening. It was the cartoon that featured those… creatures. Actually, Twilight was sure the term ‘creatures’ was a misnomer. She would probably use the phrase ‘scientific abominations’ instead. Granted she only saw half of the show before they voted to change the channel, but it was a good 7 minutes of images that no amount of brain bleach could ever hope to get out.
“The Adventures of the Seaponies?” Twilight asked, as if uttering the name itself was forbidden.
“Yes! Oh they were so cute!!!” Fluttershy was gushing, much like she had when she first met Spike.
Rarity, however, shook her head in disagreement. “I think the word creepy is more appropriate here, darling. I can appreciate a nice fantasy just like any other mare, but the idea of ponies that live in the sea seems a bit… unnatural.”
“A BIT unnatural?” Twilight laughed at Rarity’s understatement. “It violates virtually every known sense of biology laws in existence! The scientific ramifications of ‘seaponies’ are just too horrifying to even begin to comprehend!”
“And they sing!!!” Rainbow added, “I mean, what sort of sense does that make? All they do is laugh and sing! Can you guys imagine a world where everypony just laughs and sings all day?”
Pinkie Pie suddenly jerked forward as she remembered something. “That reminds me. I have to write to Starsong and Toola-Roola. I haven’t heard from them since the generation leap.”
Twilight glanced at Pinkie. “What are you talking about?”
Pinkie just shrugged. “Oh nothing. I’ll tell you when you’re older!” She patted Twilight on the head, leaving the bookworm extremely annoyed.
“Well… seaponies are just make believe, and they DID make that show for little foals, anyway.” Fluttershy added in defense of the cute show.
“Which makes me wonder why we actually watched it in the first place!” Rainbow Dash shouted in frustration. “We’re grown mares for crying out loud! Ponies like us watching a show like that is just way too silly, right Applejack?” Rainbow turned to her cowpony friend for a response, but was instead greeted by the sound of snoring.
“Applejack?”
She turned her head and found that somewhere in the middle of the group conversation, Applejack had fallen asleep.
~~~
Darkness. Nothing but darkness. No matter how hard she tried, all she could see was the never-ending darkness. In fact, it was also getting increasingly harder to breath in this mysterious environment. She didn’t know how she got here or why she was here in the first place, but all she knew that if something didn’t change within the next few seconds, the darkness would consume her forever. There was a considerable amount of panic in her mind as she not only tried to process her situation, but also reached out for somepony, anypony to save her.
It was then when she was able to make out a faint sound, a… giggling sound? A tiny speck of light began to peak its way out from the darkness, growing slowly as the giggling sound grew stronger as well, with several more giggling sounds joining in as well. The sound surrounded her, overwhelming her mind. But there was a certain air of calmness to the sound, a reassurance to her panicked mind. Almost as if she had experienced this before. In fact, she was SURE she had experienced this before, but where?
Before she could make any connections, a strange creature appeared before her. What was this thing? She wasn’t sure what it was, but all she knew was that it wasn’t a pony. Well, it looked like a pony. It had a pony head and a mane, but its body was small, its tail was curvy, and instead of hooves, it had… flippers? The strange creature smiled at her.
“Welcome back Applejack. We’ve been waiting for you.”
Before she knew it, her world lit up as she noticed the creature was now joined by several more of its kind. Dozens more. No, hundreds! No, THOUSANDS!!! They all stared back at her for a moment before they all shouted in harmony.
“SHOO BE DO! SHO SHOO BE DO!!!”
~~~
“C’mon AJ!!! WAKE UP!!!”
Rainbow Dash’s initial efforts to wake Applejack up had been met with resistance from the farmer, so Rainbow was now forced to shake the heavy sleeper awake.
“We forgot to invite Megan!!!” Applejack shouted as she quickly regained consciousness. She looked around as it dawned on her where she was, and that everypony was staring right at her “Heh. Sorry. Must have dozed off back there.”
Twilight smiled “It’s OK Applejack. It is getting a little late.”
“Ah know.” Applejack yawned again as she got up and began to make her way to the door. “I gotta get back to the Acres. Me and Big Macintosh have a long day of bucking ahead of us tomorrow.”
“WAIT!!!!” Pinkie Pie ran over and dragged Applejack back to the TV room. “You can’t leave yet. ‘Friendship Faceoff’ is about to start!!!”
“Friendship Faceoff?” asked Rainbow Dash.
Twilight knew she heard the name of the show before, and she was sure that name had some very negative stigmas attached to it. “Isn’t that the game show where two supposedly best friends humiliate themselves for bits and prizes?”
“Well, it isn’t really humiliating. They just try to guess how their friend would answer a question, that all. It’s a giant party game! I was hoping you guys would enjoy it too!”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Forget it Pinkie. Those types of shows exploit poor ponies into making fools of themselves in the name of cheap entertainment.”
“Aww… come on Twilight. It’s all in good fun.” Pinkie pouted.
Rarity pondered the concept of the game. “Well, it certainly does sound like fun. I wouldn’t be opposed to watching an episode.”
Rainbow shrugged. “Meh, I’ll watch. It’s not like there’s nothing else this TV thing has to offer”
“Well, if everypony’s staying….I guess I’ll stay and watch too.” Fluttershy smiled.
Twilight sighed in defeat. “Fine. I’ll give it a shot.”
Pinkie shot a puppy dog look over to Applejack.
“Pleeease Applejackie?”
“Ugh, OK! But don’t call me Applejackie, all right?”
The six mares gathered around the TV once again as Pinkie changed the channel.
~~~
“You are watching EBC, the Equestria Broadcasting Company!”
The station’s logo faded out and the picture soon changed to a darkened studio, lit only by waving spotlights and the flashing lightbulbs that decorate the set. A loud catchy tune began to play as the voice of an announcer began his opening spiel.
“Live from Manehatten… It’s time for Equestria’s favorite game show… FRIENDSHIP FACEOFF!!! And now, here is your host, Dollar Sign!!!”
The main studio lights came up and the studio audience all cheered and stomped their hooves as a sleek looking green Earth Pony decked out in a snazzy brown suit trotted onto the stage and took a bow. His yellow mane was combed back and glimmered brilliantly in the studio lights. The theme music faded out as the host took a bow to the audience and began talking to the camera.
“Thank you Announcer Mike! Welcome to Freindship Faceoff everypony! This is the show that puts friendship through the ultimate test as we find out how well does the average pony REALLY know about their best friend. Well, we’ll try to answer that question today with three sets of best friends from all over Equestria! So let’s not waste any more time, let’s meet today’s contestants! Announcer Mike?”
“With pleasure! Our first team of friends are musical roommates from Canterlot. Please welcome Octavia and Vinyl ‘DJ-Pon3’ Scratch!” The earth pony simply waved while the glasses-wearing unicorn grinned and nodded, raising her right front hoof in the air.
“Our second team is joining us in the middle of their vacation from their hometown, Ponyville. Say hello to Berry Punch and Romana ‘Colgate’ Minuette!” The two ponies threw their arms around the other’s necks and grinned, as if posing for a photo.
“Finally, our third team are Equestrian newcomers who now live right here in Manehatten. Please put your hooves together for Thistle Whistle and Minty!” A light green pony waved her front hooves to the crowd while a light blue pegasus simply looked away nervously, slightly embarrassed at her friend’s enthusiasm.
“Welcome to all our contestants and good luck to everypony! We’ll get our game going right after this important message. Don’t go away!”
~~~~
The six friends found themselves more engaged than they previously had thought in the game. The gameplay was surprisingly simple. The three groups friends try to match as many questions as possible. But the funniest moments in the show thus far came about after wrong answers; specifically, the arguments that arose as to why the friend got the question wrong in the first place. As was the case when Thistle Whistle and Minty nearly punched each other out over a question about last week’s breakfast. The show had just finished the question portion of the second round when it cut back to commercial, giving everypony at Sugarcube Corner a chance to take a breather.
“You know, this show isn’t that half bad” noticed Rainbow Dash.
“Indeed. I hadn’t realized that these ‘game shows’ could be this fun.” Rarity nodded, taking another sip of her tea.
“Yeah! Isn’t it great?” Pinkie Pie asked, bouncing in excitement.
“I don’t think so.” Fluttershy spoke up. She was still rather shaken at how quickly a simple question over breakfast nearly launched an all-out brawl. “I mean, what if Minty and Thistle Whistle stop being friends because of that fight?”
“Fluttershy, the host did manage to get Minty and Thistle Whistle to make up right there, and the audience did encourage them to hug” Rarity pointed out.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Yeah, lighten up Fluttershy! It’s all in good fun.”
Twilight decided to interject on Rainbow Dash’s last point. “But Fluttershy brings up a great point. There’s a fine line between good fun and public humiliation. I don’t know about you guys, but this whole setup just doesn’t feel honest to me.”
“Ah hear ya!” Applejack nodded emphatically. “Ah still don’t get why ponies would even agree to be on a show like this, anyhow. It just seems silly to me that some ponies might want to risk their friendship over a show like this. Ah’ve seen enough.” She got up. “At any rate, Ah really need ta’ get back to the farm. Sorry Pinkie”. Applejack looked towards Pinkie apologetically.
Pinkie was a bit disappointed that her friend was leaving so suddenly, but she understood that Applejack was needed on her farm. “Ok, I guess we can just make up the rest of the party next time.”
“Thanks Pinkie. Goodnight everypony!” Applejack smiled and waved as she headed out of Sugarcube Corner. A few short moments later, Twilight and Fluttershy both decided to call it a night as well and left the party. Rarity and Rainbow Dash, however, stayed behind.
“Hey Pinkie,” Rainbow asked “would you mind if I stayed and watch the rest of the show with you?”
Pinkie giggled “Sure Dashie! So do you like ‘Friendship Faceoff’?”
Rainbow Dash could barely contain her excitement “Like it? THIS SHOW’S AWESOME!!! It’s laugh out loud hilarious and this Dollar Sign guy is real hoot too!”
Rarity nodded. “He certainly is a charmer isn’t he? And the game itself a fantastic way to get to know more about your friend!”
“Yeah, it is! Isn’t it?” Pinkie Pie beamed. “It’s like the ultimate party game! And it also helps that it has a great grand prize.”
Rarity’s ears perked at the mention of those last two words. “Grand…prize?”
Rainbow Dash suddenly pointed at the screen “Hey you guys! It’s back!”
The three remaining friends turned their attention to the TV as Dollar Sign reappeared on the screen.
~~~
“Welcome back to ‘Friendship Faceoff’ everypony! Now, in case you were worried about that argument earlier, I’m happy to report that there are no hard feelings between Thistle Whistle and Minty, so everything’s a-OK!” The audience cheered as Minty and Thistle Whistle shared an apology hug, a few tears watering in their eyes as they embraced.
“Now let’s recap our scores. Vinyl and Octavia are leading with 15 points, followed by Thistle Whistle and Minty with 5 points, and Berry Punch and Colgate have yet to score, but each correct answer in this round is worth 10 points, so anything can still happen. With that out of the way, here’s the first question of round 2!”
Dollar Sign reached under his podium and pulled out a small index card. “‘What is your friend’s most prized possession?’ We’re going to start with Vinyl and Octavia. So Octavia, what is Vinyl’s most prized possession?”
Octavia pondered the question for a few seconds. “Well, I would say that it would be her bass cannon. She loves anything that ‘wubs’ after all.” Vinyl Scratch’s expression changed suddenly as she looked shocked at Octavia’s answer.
Dollar Sign chuckled. “She does, doesn’t she? Well, let’s see if you’re right. As it turns out, Vinyl’s most prized possession is…”
Vinyl slowly displayed the white poster card sitting on her lap. It read ‘Octy’s Sandwich’.
“…your sandwich.” Dollar Sign stated matter of factly, trying to downplay the ridiculous nature of the answer. “Sorry, that’s not a match.”
Octavia looked stunned. “Vinyl, what sandwich are you talking about?”
The DJ looked back at her, tearing up behind her signature glasses. “Remember that sandwich you offered me at breakfast a few months ago?”
Realization dawned quickly on Octavia. “You actually KEPT the sandwich?!?”
“I learned so much about friendship that day that I kept it as a symbol of friendship, Octy.”
“Err… thanks Vinyl. I think?”
“All right, let’s move on.” Dollar Sign turned his attention to Berry Punch and Colgate. “Colgate, what did Berry Punch say was her favorite possession?”
“Her cider mug collection” Colgate responded without missing a beat, surprising the game show host.
“You answered that so quickly. What makes you so sure, Colgate?”
“Let’s just say that Berry Punch is an aficionado of all things cider.”
“All right, let’s see if you’re right. She said her most prized possession is…”
Berry Punch smiled as she lifted her answer card up. It read ‘My Cider Mug Collection’.
“…Cider Mug Collection! That’s 10 points for Berry and Colgate!” Dollar Sign shouted as the two friends high-fived each other.
“Just out of curiosity, Berry. How many mugs do you have in your collection?”
Berry Punch lost herself in thought for a few seconds. “I don’t know. I think I’m up to 900 now. I lost track after I opened up the warehouse.”
Dollar Sign’s jaw dropped. “You have a whole warehouse of cider mugs?” Berry Punch nodded proudly.
“Welcome to my life.” Colgate placed her head in between her hooves as she let out a sigh.
“Um… on that note” Dollar Sign said as he regained his composure “Thistle Whistle! What’s Minty’s most prized possession?”
Thistle Whistle looked embarrassed as she was unsure she wanted to even bring the topic up. However, for the sake of the game, she went ahead and brought it up.
“Well Mr. Dollar Sign, Minty’s most prized possession is her… *sigh* sock collection.”
The host arched his eyebrow. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“You don’t understand. Minty loves socks. I mean she really, REALLY loves socks.”
All attention turned towards the mint colored pony. “Is that true, Minty?”
Minty nodded emphatically. “Yessiree!!! I absolutely ADORE socks! White socks, red socks, blue socks, polka dots, stripes, long socks, short socks. I even have these things called toe socks, but I don’t even know what they even are! Isn’t that the silliest thing?” Minty laughed.
Now more than slightly disturbed, the M.C. tried to move the show along as best he could. “Um, so I’m assuming you got the answer right then.”
Minty nodded as she lifted up her answer card. It simply read ‘SOCKS!!!’
“All right then. 10 points for Minty and Thistle Whistle. Let’s move on two question number two before I get completely freaked out.”
~~~
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were on the floor laughing her heart out over the last round of answers.
“Oh man, this show’s a riot!” Rainbow wheezed out, wiping a few tears from her eyes.
Rarity was stifling a few giggles as well, being careful not to spill her tea cup. “I never would have imagined that ponies would open themselves up like this so willingly. Is it really because of that prize, Pinkie?”
“Yeah! Every game show has a grand prize silly! And this one has probably the most super, duper, most amazingest prize ever!!!”
Rarity’s curiosity was now peaked at its maximum level. “Really, now?”
The buildup of the prize as Pinkie put it got the best of Rainbow Dash as turned to the earth pony. “Hey, Pinkie? What exactly does the winning team get anyway?”
“50,000 bits.”
Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped. Rarity nearly choked on her drink “WHAT?!?!”
“50,000 bits! Oh, and a roundtrip friendship vacation to Las Pegasus, too!”
Rainbow’s mind was racing “All that… just for winning this game?”
“Yeah. Isn’t that cool?!?”
“Yeah. Very.” Rarity too stunned to give a full response. She found herself deep in thought. Oh, the fabulous dresses I could make with 50,000 bits. I could even open a shop in Canterlot! Rarity let out a small sigh as dreams of Canterlot fame began dancing in her head.
Rainbow Dash was also shocked into silence. I’ve got the closest friends in all of Equestria. If I was on that show, I’d clean up! A small devilish grin creeped on Rainbow’s face as a plan formed in her mind.
“It’s too bad that the show is taped all the way in Manehatten. It looks like it would have been a lot of fun!” Pinkie sighed. Any plans that Rarity and Rainbow were planning in their heads were suddenly crushed upon hearing that reality. Feeling slightly dejected, the three friends turned their attention back to the show as the second round had come to an end.
~~~
“We’ll be right back with our final round in just a minute but first, we have a special announcement. Isn’t that right Announcer Mike?”
“Yes indeed, Dollar Sign! Friendship Faceoff will be taping a series of specials in Ponyville in three weeks! If you are in the Ponyville area and would like to be on our show, please use a self-addressed stamped envelope and….”
~~~
“Hey! They’re coming here after all! You know, isn’t it funny that these things always seem to come to Ponyville anyway? I mean, out of all the cities and all the towns here in Equestria, everything seems to come here. They could have gone to Canterlot instead, or Fillydelphia, Cloudsdale, Baltimare, Las Pegasus, or even Hooveston! But nope, they chose to come here! Wait. Hooveston? Hey did you guys ever stop to think that the way we name our cities is a tad bit weird? I mean does it always have to be a pony pun? Ponyville is one thing, but, why don’t we have a Griffonville? Or a Minotoria? We have those too in Equestria. Hold on, was this place always called ‘Equestria’? Was it always called that or did Celestia change the name from something else? What would the paperwork for renaming an entire country even look like? I bet they probably….”
The rest of Pinkie’s rant was lost on the ears of Rainbow and Rarity.
YES! This is it! You’ve got this Rainbow! Wait… who do I want as my partner? I don’t want to leave anything to chance. I want to be 120% I’ll win. Hmm… I’m not gonna get anywhere if I have to try to guess what Pinkie Pie might say. Rarity… we’re too different to try to guess each other’s answers. Twilight’s too much of an egghead for this and Fluttershy would hate to be on TV, so they’re out too. APPLEJACK!!! Of course! We’ve been through a bunch together. I know how she thinks and I’m sure she knows how I think! Heh, that 50,000 bits is as good as yours Rainbow Dash.
Oh Rarity, today’s your lucky day after all! Now all I have to do is find somepony to be my partner. Pinkie Pie knows this game, but… I’m afraid that my predicting what she would say will end up in catastrophe. I guess Applejack and Rainbow Dash are out too. I mean they’re great friends, but they wouldn’t know the innermost thoughts and desires of a fashionista. We would get every single answer wrong. Twilight… perhaps, but she would just reject the notion of being on a show like this. I-DEEEEE-AAAAA! I’ll ask Fluttershy! I know the darling might be shy for television, but with a little friendly encouragement, she would do her best to help me fulfill my dreams! Oh, I can just see that Canterlot boutique now!
“…and how are you supposed to ponify a city like Honolulu anyway? I mean a city like Moscow is already kinda ponified already, so they could use that I guess.”
“Uh, Pinkie?”
“Yeah Dashie?”
“Um… I’m gonna go home now. Got lots of Wonderbolt practicing ahead!”
“I think I’ll retire as well. Don’t want to let my orders back up at Canterl… err… I mean… Carousel Boutique.”
“Okie Dokie Loki! Good night girls!”
“Night Pikie!”
“Goodnight Pinkie Pie.”
Both Rarity and Rainbow Dash leave, their minds already racked with ways to try to convince their potential partners to participate in the show, leaving Pinkie alone in her inter-dimensional thoughts.
“I mean, it’s ‘Earth’ ponies, not ‘Equestrian’ ponies. How did ‘Earth’ come into this whole mess anyway? Maybe Lyra was right after all. Maybe they DO exist” She paused in horror “Maybe there’s a whole race them watching every single moment of our lives! I GOTTA WARN TWILIGHT!!!” She began to race out of Sugarcube Corner, before pausing for a moment. “Right after I ask her to be my partner on Friendship Faceoff!”
~~~
Author’s Note
Well, this is my first FIM fanfic, and the first fanfic I’ve written in a long time. Any type of comments are appreciated, but please be gentle *puppy dog eyes*. At any rate, I simply had this fic idea floating in my head for a few weeks, so I bit the bullet and started writing. I guess I should explain a couple things quickly.
1. The concept of ‘Friendship Faceoff’ is essentially that of the classic game show ‘The Newlywed Game’.
2. For the purposes of the fanfic, 1 bit = 1 US Dollar. Unless it’s been proven otherwise, that’s the standard I’m going with. If I’m wrong about this, please let me know.
3. I think it goes without saying that I don’t own anything related to My Little Pony, this or any previous generations. The Dollar Sign character is somepony I did make up, but that’s about it.
With that out of the way, I really hope this story goes over well. Even though I just discovered the show not too long ago, I fell in love this show, and with this fandom. So I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!
The day was just beginning at the Ponyville Spa. The two twin spa-keepers, Aloe and Lotus, were busy setting up the store to welcome that day's set of customers. Usually, the twins would use this time to talk about their what has happened in the lives the previous night, and today's topic happened to be Equestria's hit new show, 'Friendship Faceoff'.
"I still can't believe the musician friends won last night. I thought Berry Punch and Colgate had it." Aloe said as she folded up a set of towels.
"Me too!" Lotus agreed. "Although I'm still wondering what was up with that pony who liked socks. Didn't she seem a bit odd to you?"
"To each their own, I guess." Aloe shrugged, returning to the task of preparing the spa. "Hey, Rarity and Fluttershy are the first appointments today, right?"
"As always. Hey Aloe, do you think that Rarity would like that sock pony?"
Aloe shook her head. "Not if it meant designing nothing but socks 24/7. It might make her go crazy!"
Lotus chuckled. "Yeah, it would. Anyways, everything set?"
Aloe gave her sister a salute. "All systems go!"
Lotus smiled as she looked over the spa, prepped for another business day. "Great! And just in time for our first appointment of the day!"
As if on cue, the front door chimed opened as a customer entered the spa. Aloe and Lotus closed their eyes in enthusiasm as they welcomed the patron in unison.
"Hello and welcome to the Ponyville Spa! How may we assist you?"
"Ugh... you may start by finding a cup of coffee." The patron's voice yawned. The twins opened their eyes to find that the exhausted voice belonged to their best customer, Rarity. Well actually, the pony looked like Rarity. She had a white coat and the same cutie mark. But her mane and her tail were lacking its well-maintained curls and instead was a disheveled mess. There were also bags under her eyes, which were locked looking forward, but not focusing on anything. The spa twins looked at each other in disbelief, wordlessly asking the other if they were really seeing what they were seeing as the unicorn patron slowly plodded her way into the store. Turning their head back to their customer, Lotus decided to speak up.
“Rarity? Goodness, what happened to you?”
Rarity turned her head towards the spa twins. It took her a few seconds before she was able to recognize them.
“Oh, Aloe. Lotus. I’m terribly sorry for my ghastly appearance this morning, darlings" Rarity yawned. "I got carried away again last night and didn't get much sleep. I'm honestly in dire need of treatment this morning.” Rarity though to herself that it was a good thing she could always count on a spa treatment to help get her fabulous looks back on track in case of an emergency.
“Another big order?” Aloe chuckled. She knew that when Rarity found herself ‘in the zone’, things eventually got a tad bit crazy. She helped her exhausted customer up onto a chair and proceeded to start her hooficure while Lotus began preparing the spa. “You really should stop taking large jobs and pace yourself a bit more.”
“I know I should Aloe, but I had a flash of inspiration last night and I simply HAD to draw up my plans right then and there before I forgot them.”
“Wow. This sounds like a REALLY important order!” Lotus exclaimed. “Who is it for? Celestia? Luna?”
Rarity smiled. “Oh this isn’t a dress. This is something much bigger!”
“Bigger than a dress?” Lotus tilted her head in confusion. “What exactly were you planning last night Rarity? A whole clothes line?”
“Bigger than that. I’m going to open my lifelong dream, my own fashion shop in Canterlot!”
Aloe and Lotus froze with shock. “WHAT?!?” They asked in unison. “When did you get your own shop in Canterlot?”
Rarity blushed a bit. “Well, I don’t really HAVE a shop right now to be honest, but I know I’m going to secure the funding for it real soon!”
Lotus arched an eyebrow. “How exactly do you plan that? Opening a new store in Canterlot is pretty pricey you know.”
“I know, darlings. Which is why I am planning on securing the bits I need by appearing on that new game show, Friendship Faceoff!”
“Really?” Lotus asked. "And how exactly will that help?"
“Well, I did the research and the 50,000 bit grand prize should be enough to put a down payment on some valuable store space in Canterlot's town square!"
“Sound like a plan to me!" Aloe said, brimming with excitement over Rarity's new opportunity "Who’s gonna be your partner on the show then?”
Rarity placed a hoof on her chin. “I haven’t asked her yet, but I was hoping I could go on with Fluttershy.”
The spa was suddenly filled with the sounds of the two storekeeper ponies, bursting out laughing. Rarity frowned “And what, pray tell, is so funny?”
Lotus was the first one to compose herself. “Fluttershy? Really? I mean no offense Rarity, but I can’t see Fluttershy ever agreeing to be on a show like that!”
“Lotus is right, Rarity. Besides, how were you even planning on asking Fluttershy to appear on Friendship Faceoff anyway?”
Rarity raised her hoof, ready to offer a long rebuttal to Aloe’s observation. After a few seconds, her expression saddened. Lotus had brought up the one flaw in her otherwise brilliant plan, and it was a big one. In her fervor of planning her Canterlot dream shop, she had completely forgotten how she was going to convince Fluttershy to appear on the show in the first place.
“I… hadn’t figured it out yet. I was so caught up in myself last night that I hadn’t formulated a plan to ask her yet. She is a good friend though, so I hope she’ll be willing to help out a fellow friend in need.”
“In need?” Aloe deadpanned. “It’s not like your life is on the line with this shop, Rarity.”
Rarity gasped. “EVERYTHING is on the line here Aloe! Anypony who is anypony in the world of fashion is based there. I cannot REALLY call myself a true fashion diva if I don’t even have a spot in Canterlot. However with this shop, I can finally make my mark, and I can do it my own way. Rarity won’t simply be somepony else’s apprentice. Rarity will be her own mare. She’ll be in control of her work! In control of her DESTINY! My darling, this shop is an absolute necessity for me to become the most fabulous pony in all of Equestria!!!”
“Um… if you don’t mind me asking, what shop are we talking about?”
Rarity was brought back to earth when she noticed her yellow pegasus companion, who had entered the spa in the middle of her big speech. “Fluttershy!!! Goodness, I didn’t even notice you came in!”
“I’m sorry." Fluttershy apologized. "It looked like you were in the middle of something important, so I didn’t want to interrupt or anything. Is that all right, Rarity?”
“Of course it is Fluttershy.”
Lotus giggled at the over-apologetic pegasus. “At any rate, the spa is just about ready by now. Just call us if you need anything.”
“All right.” Fluttershy nodded.
After leading the two companions to the tub, the twins left them to themselves as they returned to the front of the store. However, Aloe found herself unable to concentrate on her store-keeping duties and was instead focusing her attention to the spa room which Fluttershy and Rarity currently occupy.
“What’s the matter, Aloe?” asked Lotus.
Aloe hesitated for a second before offering an answer. “I just have a bad feeling about Rarity’s plan.”
“Yeah, me too” Lotus sighed. “She has her hopes up so high. I just hope she won’t be too disappointed when Fluttershy turns her down.”
“Rarity will be fine. I’m more worried about Fluttershy" Aloe admitted. "How is she going to react when Rarity asks her to go on TV? I mean, what if she flips out?”
Lotus put her left hoof on her chin, her mind playing out a possible outcome to the given scenario.
~~~
“…so that is why I need you to appear with me on ‘Friendship Faceoff’ Fluttershy!”
The yellow pegasus’ face froze. “You want me… to be on… national television?”
At that moment, Fluttershy’s world began to lose focus. Her head started to feel dizzy. She was hyperventilating. No! The eyes! The voices! THEY’RE BACK!!! She could practically FEEL all those eyes looking at her. Poking at her very core. Disembodied voices started to arise, singing her name over and over again in a sing-song mocking tone.
Rarity looked on, wondering why Fluttershy had seemingly stopped functioning. “Um… Fluttershy?”
“NO. STOP! GO AWAY! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!”
Without warning, the panicked pony flew up, breaking through the roof of the spa as she fled, heading as far away from Ponyville as she could.
“So… does that count as a maybe?” Rarity shouted out the opening.
~~~
Lotus took a second before shaking her head. “No way. Fluttershy may be shy, but she won’t freak out. Don’t you remember how she’s learning to be more assertive?”
“Yeah, I forgot.”
“I’m personally more concerned about Rarity." Lotus elaborated. "Seeing how much this means to her, I don’t think she’s gonna take rejection well.”
Now Aloe was the one lost in her thoughts. Lotus had a great point. Rarity did have a tendency to be a bit over-dramatic at times, but she was mature enough emotionally to handle a crushing rejection from one of her closest friends, right?
~~~
“Please Rarity! Stop! Don’t do it!” the panicked-stricken Fluttershy shouted to her unicorn friend, who was now standing at an open window, ready to jump.
“I have no other option left, Fluttershy! If I cannot fulfill my fashionista dreams, then there’s simply no reason for me to go on!”
“Please come down from there Rarity. Even if we can’t go on that show, we can still make your dreams come true. There must be another way…”
“There IS no other way! If exhausted every possible avenue until now! If it doesn’t happen for me with this, then it will never happen for me ever.”
“You… just can’t jump….” Fluttershy said plainly.
Rarity turned her head away from her friend and looked out the window. “I’m sorry Fluttershy, but my mind is made up”
“But Rarity, you don’t understand…”
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! If I cannot count on my friends in my time of need, then I can never trust anyone again!!!”
“RARITY, WAIT!”
“FAREWELL CRUEL WORLD!!!”
With that, Rarity leapt out of the window and allowed herself to soar for a few seconds before gravity took hold of her form. As she began to plummet to the ground, Rarity thought of her entire life. Her regrets, her unfulfilled promises, her….
*THUD*
Rarity had landed facedown into a pool of mud.
Inside the spa, Fluttershy never left from her position. She didn’t even flinch when Rarity jumped. Instead, she simply sighed as she uncharacteristically facehoofed.
“We’re only on the first floor.” the yellow pegasus said to no one in particular.
"I'm in despair..." Rarity gurgled into the mud.
~~~
As the scene played out in Aloe’s mind, her face gave off a mixed expression of horror and confusion. "The spa room doesn't even have a window, does it?" she muttered to herself. She shook her head and tried to reassure her co-worker twin. “You know Lotus, maybe we’re just thinking about all this too hard”
Lotus chuckled softly. “Yeah, you’re right. Rarity and Fluttershy are the best of friends after all. No matter what happens, they’ll be all right.”
“I know. Those two are very close after all. They won’t let something like this affect them that much.”
Lotus nodded in agreement. The two twins resumed their front store activities for a few moments when they found their minds drifting once again.
~~~
“I’m sorry Rarity, but I just can’t help you.” Fluttershy turned her head away in shame. “I… understand if you’re mad at me.”
Rarity was without a doubt upset at the turn of events. Her dreams, her future, vanished in just a few seconds. Despite her disappointment, she approached her spa companion and embraced her with a hug.
“Oh, I could never be mad at you Fluttershy. I just simply won’t force you into doing something that you yourself don’t agree with. Even if it means I won’t ever open a shop in Canterlot. You’re more important to me, Fluttershy.”
Rarity’s words washed over Fluttershy like a warm sunray on a cold day. She exhaled in relief as a large weight had been lifted off her heart. “Thank you, Rarity. I… just didn’t want to disappoint you. That’s all.”
“I understand, Fluttershy. It’s just that….” Rarity paused. She turned her head away, seemingly embarrassed by a thought she had in her head.
“What’s wrong, Rarity?” asked a now-worried Fluttershy.
“It’s nothing. It’s just that…” Rarity took a moment and sighed. She decided to lift the weight that was currently holding down her soul. “There was… another reason why I asked you to appear on that show.”
Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s just that you and I so very close as friends." Rarity explained. "Even closer than the rest of the girls even. But… I was hoping that we could have gone on the show so that we could become…. even closer.”
Fluttershy was indeed stunned at her friend’s revelation. Rarity, now embarrassed beyond words, began to climb out of the spa. She stopped in her tracks when she heard Fluttershy giggling. Rarity’s heart sank.
“You think it’s funny?!?”
“Oh no Rarity. Not at all” Fluttershy closed her eyes and gave off the warmest smile in reassurance.
“Wait… then why did you….” Rarity began to say. However, her mind stopped working when Fluttershy opened her eyes again. Gone was her normal, innocent demeanor and in its place was the look of a seductive temptress, luring the unsuspecting unicorn under her spell.
“If you wanted us to be closer… then why didn’t you say so earlier?” Fluttershy asked in a sultry, breathier voice that Rarity never would have expected to ever come out of her friend’s throat. Rarity’s heart skipped several beats as she lost herself in Fluttershy’s eyes. The two best friends slowly drew themselves closer to one another, ready to give themselves up to the moment.
“Oh Fluttershy.”
“Oh Rarity.”
~~~
“OH CELESTIA!!!” Aloe and Lotus shouted in unison.
The spa twins turned and looked at each other, both rendered speechless from the scene they had let play in their heads.
“You don’t think that they…”
“No! Of course not!” Lotus chuckled nervously. “There’s no way they would…” she fell silent as she ran out of words to finish her thought.
Aloe stomped her hooves in frustration. “That does it! I’m going in there before something happens between the two.”
Lotus grabbed Aloe and stopped her from leaving the room. “Hold on, Aloe. We shouldn’t just barge in on Rarity and Fluttershy if we have no clue what’s going on in the first place. Besides, I have a feeling that those two are simply enjoying a nice talk over their spa treatment. We’re just overreacting anyway.”
It was at that time when a sudden cry came from within the spa room in question. “WAHAHA!!!”
Lotus blinked in horror. “Then again, I could be wrong.”
Without hesitation, Aloe ran towards the occupied spa room with Lotus following behind. When they entered the spa, they found Rarity hugging Fluttershy in a bear hug so tight, it looked as if she was preparing the butter-colored Pegasus to be gobbled.
“I can’t believe this Fluttershy! Thank you! Thank you!" Rarity shouted. "Thank you for doing this for me! Oh, you’ve made me the happiest pony in all of Equestria!”
“Glad *gasp* to be of *wheeze* help?” Fluttershy squeaked, in between Rarity’s fits of hugging.
“Um… excuse us, but is everything all right?”
Rarity bounced out of the spa and headed towards the twins, a Pinkie Pie-ish grin plastered on her face. “Oh, Aloe! Lotus! Darlings, you won’t believe the good news! Fluttershy has agreed to do it with me!”
Lotus’ jaw dropped. Aloe fainted dead away on the spot, overwhelmed by the sudden thoughts swarming her head.
“What exactly are you two talking about?” Lotus asked slowly.
“Well… we’re going to go on that game show Rarity talked about.” Fluttershy replied.
Lotus sighed in relief. “Oh man! For a minute there I thought the two of you were… Hey, wait a minute! Fluttershy, I thought you wouldn’t like to be on a show like that.”
“Well to be honest, I really don’t like the show at all.” Fluttershy admitted. “But the 50,000 bits is important to Rarity to achieve her dream. And as a friend, it’s only fair that I help her as best I can.”
“But aren’t you worried about what might happen ON the show?” Lotus pointed out. “I mean, the way they set the game up, this whole plan could backfire.”
Rarity simply patted the spa pony on her shoulder. “Lotus, my dear. You simply don’t understand. Fluttershy and I share a bond of friendship that no silly television show can dare to rip apart. We’ll go on that show and we’ll show Equestria what REAL friendship is all about!”
Lotus tried to come up with a rebuttal, but decided against it. She felt that it wasn’t really her place to berate one of her best customers over a plan she wasn’t sure about. And even if she tried, Rarity was so determined to follow through with this crazy scheme that not even a Cerberus attack could stop her.
“Well, I guess I should wish you two the best of luck!” Lotus then turned to her passed out co-worker. “Now if you excuse me, I need to snap Aloe back up. Call us if you need anything else!”
Lotus dragged Aloe out of the room through her teeth as Rarity and Fluttershy continued talking about the plans for Rarity’s future Canterlot store. After grabbing some smelling salts from the stock room and dragging Aloe back to consciousness, Lotus explained everything to her confused twin.
“There! That’s the last of ‘em” Applejack nodded as she put the remaining apples on the ground into her basket. Long mornings have always been a part of the farming life, but they always seem to take their toll. Such was the case at Sweet Apple Acres as the farm had fallen behind schedule in its crop gathering, leaving the farm and its occupants to play catch-up in order to fulfill their quota before winter came. Compounding matters was that everypony in Ponyville were wrapped up in their own activities that the Apple family were left on their own for the moment. It was for this reason that Applejack found herself more tired lately. Granted she had learned to pace herself better than that fateful Applebuck season, the last couple of weeks had, nevertheless, been rough for the cowpony. Despite it all, she managed to get the whole zone of apple trees cleared before noon.
"Not too shabby if Ah do say so mahself." Applejack noted to herself "Better get these things back to the cellar. Ah think ah earned a quick break, though."
Walking back to the apple cellar, she noticed a familiar streak of rainbow tearing its way towards the farm which could mean only one this, Rainbow Dash was heading her way. Now usually whenever Rainbow Dash dropped in on the farm unannounced, it meant the pegasus had a crazy scheme up her hooves, and Applejack was about to be dragged into it. Even though the cowpony knew that there may be trouble brewing ahead, she couldn’t help but be happy by the sight of her best friend and occasional rival dropping in for a spell.
“Hey Applejack!”
“Howdy Rainbow! How’s the weather up there?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged slightly. “Well actually, that's why I'm here. Just wanted to let you know that rainstorm has been rescheduled to tomorrow.”
Applejack's eyes went wide in surprise. “Dang, so soon? Welp, Ah’ll let the family know. Thanks RD!”
"No prob, AJ!"
Applejack headed towards the cellar. Well that wasn't so bad, Applejack thought to herself. Just a quick business visit. At least Rainbow Dash wasn't up to her usual nonsense like Ah thought. Nice to see that RD could act responsible if given the... wait a sec. Is she following me? Applejack turned around. There was Rainbow Dash, floating right behind her, with a silly grin plastered all over her face. Applejack groaned. Rainbow was up to something, wasn’t she?
“Hey Applejack? Has anypony ever told you that you’re the coolest, most awesome pony who ever lived? I mean like, ever?” Rainbow Dash smiled.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “RD, Ah told you that you’re gonna be first in line no matter what next Apple Cider season!”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with that. But thanks anyway!” Rainbow countered.
“Well, what the hay is with this ole’ buddy-buddy routine here? You’re not asking for another favor, are ya?” Applejack shouted, her patience waning rapidly. “Seriously, Ah ain’t got the time to…”
“No no! It’s nothing like that!” Rainbow tried to defend herself “I wouldn’t want to impose on the most awesome pony in all of Equestria!”
“What about the Wonderbolts?”
“…Ok, second…. third….. fourth…ish awesome… Earth pony…. But that’s still gotta count for something right? Heh heh…” Rainbow laughed sheepishly.
Applejack deadpanned a stone faced look at Rainbow Dash.
“You’re not buying any of this, are you?”
Applejack groaned in frustration. “Just drop the act, Rainbow. What do ya want from me this time?”
“Applejack, I need your help with something super important.”
“Couldn’t ya ask somepony else right now? Ah’m sure Twilight or Fluttershy might be able to help.”
“NO! They can’t! You’re the only one who can help me AJ?”
“Help with what exactly?” the cowpony asked.
Rainbow Dash grinned. “How would you like to be my partner on ‘Friendship Faceoff’? They’re gonna tape in Ponyville soon, and we’d be a shoo-in to win.”
For the second time in as many minutes Applejack deadpanned a look towards Rainbow Dash.
“So… you’ll think about it?”
“No.”
“Aw, C’mon AJ!” Rainbow shouted as she landed, now walking alongside her farmer friend.
“Forget it, RD. That show there’s no good. Using poor innocent ponies like that. Ah’m NOT gonna go on a show just to be made fun of!”
“But AJ, those friends on that show aren’t as close as WE are!” Rainbow Dash argued. “We’re the closest friends in all of Equestria. There’s nothing that show can toss us that we can’t handle. We’re like Siamese twins! Heck, I can even do a great impression of you! Watch…”
“HEY!!!” Applejack shouted as Rainbow Dash grabbed her hat. She put it on her head and cleared her throat, and proceeded to let her voice drop into a southern drawl, which just so happened to be a spot-on impersonation of her friend.
“Y’know? Working on a farm can get a ‘might tiring at times. It’s a good thing Ah have good friends like Rainbow Dash to help me through all the rough times.” She crossed her front hooves and winked.
Applejack stood dumbfounded at her friend’s performance. “Um… that was… wow”
Rainbow leaned in on her friend, her voice once again normal. “You know, I bet you can do me too. Go ahead, try it!”
Applejack looked confused “Um… ok Ah guess *ahem* But I don’t see how this can…” Applejack blinked as she noticed her voice had become higher and scratchier. “SWEET CELESTIA!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY VOICE?!?”
Rainbow put her forehoof around her friend’s neck as she once again slipped into her Applejack impression. “Ya just became 20% cooler, sugar cube!"
"This is... way too creepy." Applejack said. She held a hoof to her throat while she wondered how in the world she was able to pull off such a spot on impression so easily.
"But don't ya see? We really ARE alike 'n more ways than one! If we go on ‘Friendship Faceoff’, we’ll be sure to win!!!”
“I don’t know Rainbow. I still don’t feel right going on a show like that. It doesn’t seem honest to me.”
“Then just take it wit’ a grain o’ salt then. You know Ah’ll still be your friend no matter what AJ.”
“And what do we get if we win?”
“50,000 bits”
“50,000?!?”
“And a trip to Las Pegasus, ah reckon.”
“Rainbow, don’t you think that’s a little… wait. Why are we still doing the voice thing?”
“Ah dunno. Seemed like fun, didn’t it”
“Oh for Pete’s sake, GIVE ME BACK MY HAT!!!” Applejack grabbed her hat back from Rainbow Dash and placed it back on her head.
“Why do you even *ahem* Ah mean… why do ya even want to be on that show anyway RD?”
Rainbow was about to answer but she hesitated for a moment. I can’t just tell her that it’s because I just want the bits and maybe treat myself to a Wonderbolt VIP package. She’ll never agree to that. No I need a better reason for this. *gasp* I GOT IT!
Rainbow began to act sheepishly “Well, you see AJ… I was thinking that…”
“…that maybe you were gonna use those bits to get a Wonderbolt VIP package or somethin’?” Applejack guessed.
Rainbow Dash froze in surprise. “Am I really THAT predictable?”
Applejack shrugged. “Ya kinda are, RD. Fly fast, take a nap, worship the Wonderbolts. That’s about all you do.”
“Hey, that’s not ALL I do”
“Really now? What else do ya do Rainbow?”
“I…. um…. I read?” Rainbow meekly offered.
Applejack groaned in frustration. By now her patience had run out. “Really now RD, Ah ain’t got time for this nonsense. Me and Big Mac have are behind harvesting this here crop.” She turned around in an attempt to get back to work. The persistent Rainbow Dash remained close by, however, still trying to appeal to the stubborn cowpony.
“Come on, Applejack. Don’t you ever take a break?”
Applejack sighed. “Ah wish ah could, but Ah can’t, sugarcube. These apple aren’t gonna pick themselves. Besides, they need to be cleaned, processed, packaged, and then we gotta sell ‘em. And once that’s all done, we gotta turn around, and do it all over again.”
"But, don't you guys take a break in the winter?" Rainbow asked.
"How do y'all think we've been increasing the Apple Cider supply all this time?"
“Oh.” Rainbow stated plainly. "Man AJ. That does sound kinda rough when you think about it."
Applejack looked away from Rainbow and let her eyes focus on the acres upon acres of apple trees that make up her orchard. “Fact is RD, many ponies don’t realize how much work goes into putting food on their plates. And ah don’t really mind that at all. Ah love the work. But sometimes… when it all seems to pile on way to fast to handle, Ah sometimes wonder if maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Ah just got away from it all for a little while.”
“You mean like… move away for good?” Rainbow felt a pit in her stomach. Applejack wouldn't...
“Nah, nothin’ like that, sugarcube. Ah just mean that maybe a little vacation is what I need to clear mah head.”
“Oh! Ok then.” Rainbow sighed in relief. Her best friend wasn't ready to leave any time soon. However, listening to Applejack’s confession had brought about in Rainbow Dash a newer level of respect to the farmer friend. It also brought up a whole new idea in her head.
“You know, I have a little proposal Applejack." the pegasus began. "How about I help you get Sweet Apple Acres back on schedule, in return you help me out on ‘Friendship Faceoff’, and when we win we both take a well-earned vacation to Las Pegasus?”
“Y’all ain’t gonna give up on that, are ya?”
“I’ll even split the 50,000 with you AJ!”
“Aw, now ya don’t have to go that far, Rainbow.”
“I’m serious! Even if I have to sacrifice my Wolderbolt plans, it’s worth it to help out an awesome friend like you.”
“You’re just gonna settle for front row seats, are ya?” Applejack smirked.
“…Oh, you’re good.”
Applejack laughed “Ya know what? Ah’ll do it for ya.”
“Really?” Rainbow Dash grinned.
“Sure! Ah still have a few doubts over the show and all, but Ah can’t just say no to a friend whose willing to lend a helping hoof!” Applejack responded "Besides, those 25,000 bits would let us finally fix up that ol' barn of ours."
Rainbow came over and gave her a bear hug. “Great! Thanks a lot Applejack! And don’t worry, I’ll make sure our trip to trip to Las Pegasus will be all worth it!" Rainbow started to lift herself off of the ground "Anyway, I need to get those rainstorm clouds ready for tomorrow. I’ll swing by later this afternoon in case you guys need me to chip in. Gotta dash!”
“Gotcha. See ya soon RD!” Applejack shouted as Rainbow Dash took off.
Rainbow Dash flew away from Sweet Apple Acres with a feeling of victory swelling up inside. “Now all I have to do is get that application in, and BAM! Instant. Winner. Man, today’s been 2000% awesome!”
As Rainbow Dash flew, she found herself singing a little song to herself.
“Write a song about Ponifornia, he said, Write a song about Ponifornia, he said to me before I left…”
“In conclusion, the invention of television indeed has great potential to make a deep and lasting impact on Equestrian society. However, that potential will go unfulfilled if the networks continue to broadcast programs that do nothing to stimulate and engage the minds of ponies” Twilight Sparkle recited. Ponyville’s librarian was currently pacing the library’s floor reading aloud her report to Spike. She chose to write it herself to save her assistant from writing this entire letter, which had clocked in at 19 pages. Despite his lack of involvement in this project, the act of listening to the detailed letter left Spike exhausted.
“Twilight, you’ve been at this for over an hour! Are you almost done yet?” Spike complained.
“This is a very important letter, Spike! I want be absolutely sure that it sounds perfect for Princess Celestia.”
“Hoo boy, here we go” Spike rolled his eyes.
Twilight ignored the sarcastic remark and continued where she left off. “This is especially true for young foals that need that stimulation in order to grow up into well rounded mares and stallions. That is why I propose the creation of a new network, the Pony Broadcasting Service, or PBS for short. I’ve enclosed a comprehensive recommendation plan suggesting a new plan of programming for PBS that is sure to expand the mind of ponies young and old. Following this plan, PBS will undoubtedly make the usage of television more efficient for ponies of today and tomorrow. Please let me know if you have any further questions or concerns. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. So what do you think, Spike?”
Spike shrugged “I still think you should have called it ‘Spike TV’.”
“And why would anypony would even watch a channel called that?” Twilight asked.
“Because I would be the star, that’s why! I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch a channel with 24 hours of nothing but me?” Spike flexed his arms to accentuate his point.
Twilight put her hoof to her head to ease her seemingly growing migraine as visions of a 24 hour Spike channel began to play in her head. ‘Who would even want to name a network Spike TV anyway?’ she thought to herself. After a few moments of exasperation, she regained her composure and ordered Spike to gather the report’s supplemental materials while she went ahead to triple-check the actual letter for any errors. It was only a few short minutes later when a frantic knocking came at the library’s front door.
“I’ll get it!” Spike yelled.
He ran over to the door and opened it.
“Hello! Can I help… WHAT THE?!?” Spike yelped as he was greeted by a pink blur rushing into the library. The sudden rush spun the baby dragon on the spot, leaving him stunned dizzy. The blur quickly ran up the library stairs, past a surprised Twilight, into the unicorn’s bed, and finally, hiding under her covers, shaking in fear. By the curly pink tail sticking out of her bed, Twilight safely guessed that blur was Pinkie Pie.
“Pinkie? What are you doing?” Twilight asked as she approached the bed.
Pinkie jumped out and covered Twilight’s mouth. “Shh! They might be listening to us right now. I’ve been trying to avoid them since last night!”
“Trying to avoid who?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie took a second to look around, checking to see if there were any hazards or traps in the area. She leaned in to Twilight’s ear.
“I’m trying to hide from… them!”
Pinkie pointed to a spot in the middle of the library. Twilight gazed at the empty spot in the room. “Um… I don’t see anypony there Pinkie.”
“They’re not actually there, but they’re watching us through a magic invisible window right now.” Pinkie explained.
Twilight arched an eyebrow. “An invisible what?”
Pinkie ducked back under the covers. “They use it to observe us from another dimension, Twilight. We have to be careful! They may be planning to take over Equestria right now!”
Perhaps it was simply for curiosity’s sake, but against her better judgment, Twilight decided to play along a bit. “Who are they, Pinkie?”
The party pony leaned in and whispered her answer in Twilight’s ear. The librarian’s expression suddenly fell into exasperation when she finally learned of Pinkie’s imaginary tormentors.
She’s been talking to Lyra again Twilight sighed to herself. “Pinkie, there’s no such thing as…” Twlight began to lecture. Unfortunately, Twilight was cut off suddenly when Pinkie ran up to her, placing her forehooves on Twilight’s shoulder while she continued panicking.
“They might take us while we’re in our beds, Twilight. We have to hide everypony before they come for us! Hide your kids! Hide your wife! Hide your husband! They’re gonna take us all!!!”
“Hide my… what are you even…” Twilight tried to ask while Pinkie threw her hooves up in despair. Despite the ridiculousness of the situation however, the unicorn soon realized that, fictional or not, her friend was really freaked out over these mystery creatures. Twilight placed her hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile to calm her down.
“Look Pinkie. If there was an invisible magic mirror there, I would have felt it." Twilight reached over and gave Pinkie a big hug. "And besides, you know that I would never let anything like that come in and hurt you. You’re one of my best friends, Pinkie! I’d do anything to help you.”
Pinkie Pie sniffed “You… really mean that Twilight?”
Twilight smiled. “Of course I do.”
“Pinkie promise?”
“Cross my heart and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye!” Twilight went through the motions of the promise, making sure she remembered not to poke her eye out this time. With the Pinkie Promise official, Pinkie perked right back up.
“Thanks Twilight! Now we can go on ‘Friendship Faceoff’ together!!!”
“You’re welcome Pinkie. I’m happy that you’re feeling… wait….”Twilight shook her head her mind processed what Pinkie had just say. “We’re gonna do what?”
“Go on ‘Friendship Faceoff’! I can’t go by myself silly, so I needed a partner. Isn’t this great Twilight?” Pinkie squeed.
“Um…wha…huh…” Twilight continued to stammer as she tried to process what was going on. What just happened? she asked herself.
“We’re gonna be on television!!! Oh this is gonna be so much fun! What do you think I should wear? Well, that’s a silly question. We don’t normally wear clothes, anyway! Wait, if we’re not wearing clothes, does that mean we’re naked? Are we gonna get in trouble with the FCC? Maybe we should…”
“Pinkie, hold on a minute!” Twilight interrupted, her thought finally gathered. “First of all, what are you doing trying to get on a show like that?”
“It looked like a fun game” Pinkie shrugged. “You know how much I love a new game, so I wanted to play”
“Ok then, why in Equestria would you think that I wanted to go on that show? What makes you think I’d even WANT to go on a show like that?”
“Well, aren’t you studying friendship for the princess, Twilight?” Pinkie asked.
“Well, yes I am. But that’s not…”
“Well, what better place to learn about friendship than on a show about friendship!!!” Pinkie stated.
“Well…you do have a point." Twilight admitted. "But still, something about that show seems a bit off to me.”
“Oh, you’re just thinking too hard, Twilight. Come on, it’ll be fun!”
Twilight took a few moments to think about her options, but her mind was already made up. She sighed. “Sorry Pinkie. I can’t do it.”
“You won’t?” Pinkie gasped.
“That show may be ‘fun’, Pinkie,” Twilight explained “but it opens the door for unsuspecting ponies to get hurt. That’s NOT what friendship is supposed to be about. There’s no real ‘fun’ in that.”
“But… it’s just a game.” Pinkie replied meekly.
“No Pinkie, it isn’t.” Twilight responded firmly.
“It’ll be fun…”
“I’m sorry Pinkie.” Twilight said softly. She trotted back over to her desk and began to resume checking her letter. “I really need to get back to this letter Pinkie. We can finish talking about this later, Ok?”
“But Twilight… you said you’d do anything for me!” Pinkie shouted.
“I know I did, but I didn’t mean…”
“You Pinkie Promised!!!”
“I… um…. I mean… ” Twilight stammered. Her stomach fell as she realized what she had done previously. She had only intended her promise to help the previously frightened Pinkie feel better. Unfortunately, it seems now that her well-intentioned actions were coming back to bite her in the flank. Oh Ponyfeathers, she muttered to herself.
“But… but I thought that was only for…” Twilight stammered, tried to defend herself
“You…. Pinkie…. Promised….” Pinkie seemingly growled. Her mane and tail fell straight. Her coat seemed to darken a shade of pink. Her eyes were now fixed on Twilight, seemingly staring straight into her soul. She slowly approached the now frightened unicorn, backing her into the wall.
“Nopony ever breaks a Pinkie Promise, Twilight Sparkle. Not now, not ever. GOT THAT?!?”
The normally even-keeled unicorn now found herself paralyzed in fear, afraid of what this demonic Pinkie might do to her if the promise was indeed broken. Considering she saw how close Applejack was to finding out the answer to that question, Twilight decided not to press her luck.
“Yes, Pinkie! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that!”
“So you will go on the show, right?”
“Yes, Pinkie. I will!”
“And you really DO mean that. DON’T YOU?!?”
“I do! We’ll go on the show together and we’ll have the time of our lives Pinkie! I swear!!!”
Pinkie’s gaze seemed to darken a bit more while she took in Twilight’s pleas. Twilight shut her eyes closed, silently pleading for somepony to help her. After a tense few seconds, Pinkie’s mane and tail poofed back to normal as she suddenly became her cheerful self again.
“Okie dokie loki then! I knew I could count on you Twilight! Um, Twilight? You ok there?”
Overwhelmed by the sudden rush of emotions, Twilight let out a nervous chuckle, her mind seemingly gone haywire due to pure shock. “You… I thought you... were gonna…”
Uh oh. I think I might have gone a little bit too far this time. Pinkie thought to herself. She turned away, feeling a little sheepish. “Sorry about that Twilight. After what happened with Applejack, I don’t take any chances with Pinkie Promises anymore. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“Promise you won’t ever do that to me again?”
Pinkie chuckled. “Cross my heart and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye!”
“Thanks Pinkie, but I’m still not sure about this show though.” Twilight sighed.
“You don’t need to worry. Your Aunt Pinkie will make sure everything’s OK. Besides, this could make a great letter to the princess!”
Twilight gave a weak smile. “Yeah, I guess it could.”
"So... we're good to good to go for the show then?" Pinkie asked with hesitation.
Twilight sighed in defeat. "Yes Pinkie, we're good to go."
“You’re… not mad at me are you? You know, for the whole tricking-you-into-going-on-TV thing?” Pinkie asked, feeling a bit of shame creeping up for what she put her best friend through.
“Honestly, Pinkie. I am a bit angry you tricked me like that.” Twilight confessed. “But I can’t stay mad at you. We’re friends after all. And if my friend really wants me to do something new, even if I don’t like it, I should be at least willing to give it a try.”
“As long as it’s not against the law or it involves something that might put you or your friend in clear and present danger. Because making a friend do something you KNOW they'll get hurt in makes you THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. FRIEND!” Pinkie stated the disclaimer standing in front of the spot in the room where the supposed magic mirror was located.
“Um… of course?” Twilight agreed, not sure who exactly Pinkie was talking to at the moment.
“Just making sure everypony is safe and sound, that's all.” Pinkie smiled. She then noticed Twilight’s letter. “Hey, what are you doing Twilight? Still trying to find that birthday present?”
Twilight chuckled “Well actually, I’m writing a letter to the princess about an idea for a new educational television station. I’m calling it the Pony Broadcasting Service, or PBS for short.”
“Oh! Can I make a new TV show? Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh?” Pinkie bounced around excitedly.
“Actually Pinkie, I kinda had some ideas already for…”
“I got one! How about a show starring a singing purple dinosaur!”
“A… signing what?” Twilight asked, dumbfounded.
“Yeah, he sings about sharing and caring and stuff. Oh wait, I have a better show! It takes place on a magical Manehatten street where literally anything can happen!”
“Why would a regular street be magic...” Twilight started, ready to shoot that idea down as well, but upon second thought, she realized a show like that could actually be used as a great backdrop to teach important lessons to foals for a long time. “You know what Pinkie? That could actually be a really great idea!”
“You really think so?” Pinkie grinned, happy that her idea was being well received.
“Hey, is everything all right up there?” a voice rang from just outside the bedroom.
“We’re ok, Spike. You can come in.” Twilight answered back.
Spike entered the room, still a little woozy from Pinkie Pie’s entrance earlier. “Um, what are you two doing?”
“Well, Twilight and I are gonna go on the ‘Freindship Faceoff’ game show!” Pinkie explained.
“Whoa, really? But I thought you didn’t like that show, Twilight.” Spike scratched his head in confusion
“You’re right, I don’t like that show” Twilight confirmed to her assistant.
“Well, what made you change your mind then?”
Twilight simply glanced over at Pinkie. “Let’s just say that Pinkie had a REALLY convincing argument."
"Oh" Spike replied flatly.
"Besides," Twilight added "I'll be on TV with the one and only Pinkie Pie! It could be really fun.”
“More like the most super duper looper fun in the history of fun!” Pinkie elaborated.
The confused Spike shrugged away any other questions. “Well good luck, I guess. What are you guys doing now?”
“Well, Pinkie and I are brainstorming new show ideas for PBS…”
“You mean ‘Spike TV’!” Spike corrected.
Twilight rolled her eyes “At any rate, we’re just throwing ideas around. What else have you thought up, Pinkie?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie taped a hoof on her chin, her mind deep in thought “Hmm… what about three kids who save the world through with mathematics?”
“That’s brilliant!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Oh, how about the story of two foals who travel to a world filled with magical dragons!”
“Hey, I like the sound of that!” Spike nodded. “What other ideas do you have?”
“Ok guys, brace yourself for this one.” Pinkie warned.
Twilight and Spike leaned in, ready to take in whatever Pinkie had thought up.
“A dog. Who can talk. Because she ate some alphabet soup!”
The room erupted into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, with Twilight fell out of her chair in her fit of giggles. The outburst of laughter made Pinkie crack up as well and soon, the two ponies and the baby dragon were all rolling on the floor laughing.
“You know,” Twilight said trying to catch her breath. “That idea is just crazy enough it might actually work!”
