Dearest Twilight Sparkle,
We I am glad you have decided to ask us me about my past as Nightmare Moon. It is not often that we I get to share my point of view, what it was like from my side.
The legends of Nightmare Moon are nothing but that — legends. They have a seed of truth buried through time, long forgotten by many. But I have not forgotten. It is a memory forever engraved into my mind.
Those that have heard of Nightmare Moon have heard that she turned against my sister Celestia. Yet, most were not aware of the fact that I was Nightmare Moon. Most do not even remember us, a fear that has come to pass that inspired our actions in the first place...
(I have suspicions that Celestia purposefully dampened the spread the rumors of my turn against her. After she banished us me to the moon, she could not undo the damage done by me, nor could she return the sister she loved so much, but what she could do, was to make ponies forget of the once-evil princess who threatened their lives and almost brought upon Equestria the ruin of Harmony. She did not make ponies forget me out of spite, but out of love. She tried to protect me, by giving me a better chance once I made my return.)
I learned my lesson well from the incident. I would always prefer to have never experienced what I did, and I would have wished for Celestia to never have felt the immense pain that I caused her, but I would never wish to forget. As much as I despise my actions, it is the memory that prevents me from repeating my mistakes. Wisdom is gained only from studying the mistakes of the past and building on them. It is this wisdom that I want to impart onto you.
A thousand years ago, and even centuries ago before that, I started to feel the sting of being ignored. As a princess who had given so much effort and energy into shaping Equestria into the prosperous nation that it was, I felt I deserved recognition. But I felt none. I cast art into each night that I crafted, and most ponies took it all for granted. They all held Celestia up as the one who led the ponies to glory, while I was the backstage pony who worked so hard for nothing.
I started despising my sister. As much as we I would loathe to admit, it was a fear of mine to be forgotten, of spending so much work and getting nothing in return. And it was a nightmare turning real. At first, I believed I could weather it all. After all, I had my sister by my side.
But soon, as Equestria settled from recent battles, Celestia became more and more absorbed into governing the country. She took more and more time to make sure things were running smoothly. It was an admirable trait, and I would have probably seen it as such at the time, had I not seen it as a selfish desire of Celestia to draw all attention to her, to leave me in the shadows which I govern. It was irony I could not stand.
Nevertheless, at first I persisted. I tried talking to Celestia about it at times, and she reassured me that she still loved me very much, that I had nothing to worry about. A first, I felt reassured by her words.
But time passed, and little changed. Ponies still adored Celestia, Celestia still devoted a large chunk of her time for Equestria, and I was still shunned. I felt more isolated as the years flew by.
Then I broke. I could no longer take it. Nothing was being done, so I turned to action. The night was my craft, and I wanted everypony to finally open their eyes and see it! And if they wouldn't do it, then I would make them do it by force.
I knew Celestia was weakened by constantly sitting in her throne, running the nation from our capital in the Everfree. The current project that Equestria was so eagerly overseeing was the construction of a new capital on the peak of Canterlot Mountain. It would be the city to behold, a marvel of modern engineering and splendor. Celestia was so absorbed that she did not notice as I studied to overthrow her.
I searched through spell after spell. The day would exist as long as the sun was in the sky. I sought to make it eternal night, but I could not do it while the sun reigned. However, I finally found what I was looking for — a solar eclipse.
Back when the day/night cycle was run by unicorn mages, when Celestia and I were too young and when the Windigos were a real threat, some of the unicorns would seek to attain power through celestial bodies. It was no secret that the sun and moon hold great power within them. Most of the mages were noble and honest, and did not turn to evil practices.
But some have discovered that, by aligned the sun and moon, such that the moon blots out most of the light, great magical prowess can be gifted — at the cost of turning evil. Some used this to their advantage, part of the reason there was such a great divide between the three tribes at the time. Fortunately, however, the power it granted to average ponies was not undefeatable, and was easily overcome.
But I was not an ordinary pony. In fact, not only was I an alicorn, but I was attuned to the moon. I have found the perfect solution, one that would solve many problems at once. Night could finally reign, and I'd have undisputable power.
I performed the ritual, and did to the sun as I have felt Celestia did to me. I turned into Nightmare Moon, intent on destroying the one who was in my way of glory. It was as I predicted — Celestia was too weak to fight me head on. In fact, she plain out refused to fight me, something that I now appreciate as a sign of strength instead of weakness.
But what I did not count upon were the Elements. In my maddening rampage, I forgot about the tools we used together to bring Harmony into the land. I was far from being harmonious, after all. All I had were thoughts of revenge upon Celestia.
Celestia was torn — on one hoof, she had a responsibility towards her sister, but on the other, she knew that if she let me be, she would lose everything we worked so hard to obtain, including me. She hesitated, and it pained her greatly — continued to do so for the millennium to come — but she banished me to the moon. The only immortal being with whom she could freely confide in, who she could freely call a friend, was gone.
I am deeply regretful of what I made Celestia endure. Many still know Celestia as the wise ruler who keeps Equestria in prosperity, many always see her smile and think she is a constant source of happiness, but I am sure you know that that is not always the case. Celestia is not emotionless, far from it. She experiences pain and suffering just like any other being.
While she dutifully maintained Equestria in stable condition, I remained as Nightmare Moon on the moon. What many are not aware of is the dual nature that I had while being Nightmare Moon, and that I was partially aware of the passage of time while on the moon. You see, while the spell I performed turned me evil, it could not corrupt me entirely, as I was an immortal alicorn who has already lived through so many years of experience, so it did something else — it spawned another whole personality within me. Or, rather a part of a personality. It was still verily me, but not at the same time.
While banished, I was both Luna and Nightmare Moon, and we, in the true sense of the word, fought for dominance. Nightmare Moon still wished revenge upon Celestia, and still despised the ponies for not loving her, but the other part of me felt regretful over everything that has transpired. Often when the moon would rise, and the time for me to enter dreams came, both parts played a role in manipulating the dreamscapes of our subjects. Nightmare Moon went with her namesake and spread nightmares wherever she went, while the other portion dutifully tried to protect everypony from this evil influence.
When the time for my escape came, we were worn out. Nightmare Moon did not have her previous power, nor even her previous determination — they were sapped away by both her time on the moon and her time spent with my better half. Even though she still held a desire for eternal night, no longer were her actions and intentions so malicious — at that point, Nightmare Moon was simply carrying out an old ambition almost left to time.
When the Elements were used upon me, the influence of Nightmare Moon was finally completely cleared from me. I do not know what has happened to this other portion of my personality, but I have not heard from it since, except in the occasional nightmare I have myself. I could finally apologize to my sister, and I could finally stand by her side loving side again. I was surprised to find that Celestia has forgiven myself so easily, and I try to forgive myself too. I am eternally grateful to you and your friends for saving me, and I am sure Celestia is as well.
What I learned from the whole ordeal is to not let fate control you. Even in the darkest of moments, even when you seem to have no one to turn to, you should never forget yourself. Always try to find the brightest of paths, for when you get lured into the temptations of darkness, you are unlikely to ever come out again whole. Never forget who you were, and never forget who you mean yourself to be.
With regards,
Luna
P. S. Don't forget to bring the pastries and the toothpaste! I think this might be our best pranking session with Celestia yet! I can't wait to see the look on her face.
