It was absolutely beautiful. Button Mash marveled at the sight. Row upon row of arcade cabinets took up what used to be the Canterlot Castle’s palace grounds. Statues, fountains, and any other object that would intrude upon the cabinet invasion were removed and replaced with these beauties. It was better than a candy shop. Better than beating a high score on his first try. Better than his mother’s triple chocolate cookies, those fantastic sugar discs that enabled him to rival Pinkie Pie in energy.
This was heaven.
Button snapped out of his trance and walked onto the grounds. He glanced towards many foals who were glued to their preferred cabinet while others hung off of them, watching and waiting for their turn. Button looked behind him, reminding himself that his mother was gone. As if another blessing upon these grounds, he was free to play.
Button scanned the crowd, his gaze landing on a cabinet that seemed to have a high rate of game overs. Both parents and children glared at the console or stomped off every time they lost. Each player seemed to last a few seconds, which only enticed Button even more. He walked across the line of machines, passing and side-stepping the maelstrom of ponies that threatened to bump or crash into him. Once he’d finally done that, he stepped in front of his new challenge.
“Touhorse” the cabinet read. Button stared at the screen as dozens of circular glowing bullets fired slowly towards a little filly character. The filly was shooting back towards the huge enemy filly. The enemy wore a simple white blouse and miniskirt, and glowing rainbow diamond crystals dangled menacingly from wings of wire jutting from her back. Right as Button was about to look away from the cabinet in boredom, a gigantic light beam ignited the main character. The beam took up nearly the entire screen, turning her to ash. “The hardest game in Equestria!” the screen flashed. Now that had his attention. Button pulled up the stool and sat down in front of the cabinet to play.
“I’ve never seen this game before,” Button mumbled as he looked back at all the games behind him. Coltra, Mareio, Pony Fighter, all of those games were in attendance. He grabbed the joystick and danced his other hoof along the two buttons. He looked around the cabinet for any sort of instructions or hints on how to play. Apart from the cabinet’s bright rainbow color and sign, there was nothing.
"No instructions, huh?” Button asked as he pressed the "start" button and grabbed the joystick. “Bring it on.”
Button’s character flew into the bottom of the screen and he moved her around. Up top, a countdown began.
“3.” Button nodded as he hovered his other forehoof over the three buttons.
“2.”
“I’ve never seen this type of game before,” Button muttered.
“1.”
A barrage of glowing white bullets shot out from the top of the screen and towards Button’s character. Button jerked the joystick back and around a spiral of bullets, but was inevitably trapped into a corner. The bullets ignited his character, turning it to ash while a filly’s laughter played out of the speakers.
“Game Over”.
Button’s jaw hung open. “But I,” he stammered as he tried to figure out what exactly just happened. “I died in three seconds!”
“Oh, I see that you found my favorite game.”
Button’s pupils dilated as he turned around and came face to face with gray fur and an eagle talon pointing at the game. Discord smiled down at Button. “Cotton candy?” he asked as a pretzel suddenly appeared in his paw. Button blinked at it in confusion. Discord shrugged and snapped his talons, transforming the pretzel. “There we go.”
Button screamed and lost his balance. He fell off the stool and landed right on his face. "Oof!" He shook off the pain and sat up, pointing at Discord. “Somebody help! It’s Discord! Someone let him out of his statue!”
Most ponies didn’t even look up from their games. Others shot Button a glance, annoyed that their focus was broken and they had to restart. Either way, no one paid attention to the colt who cried Discord. Discord laughed jovially, his head disconnecting from his shoulders and spinning around like a planet. He rose a few feet off of the ground as Button hyperventilated, crawling away as words failed him. Once he finally caught his breath, Button screamed for everything he was worth. Discord turned his talons into a muzzle and pantomimed Button’s scream. Button tried to talk, but only managed to stutter out a few incoherent words. Discord pantomimed right along with him. Button closed his mouth, more annoyed than scared now since Discord wasn’t throwing arcade cabinets upside down or turning one into a monster that shook all the fillies from their bits. Discord fell back to the ground, his stomach bloating with laughter.
“The novelty of that has definitely not worn off,” he said as he popped all of the cotton candy into his mouth, including the paper wrapper. “I guess nopony has told you that the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony is now free and reformed, hmm?”
Button opened his mouth again, but Discord teleported behind him and shut him up with a paw. “That means that I’m good now,” Discord added.
“Ooh, so you aren’t going to turn my house upside down and make my mom all gray? You know I had to spend my allowance on dinner and skip out on a Colt of Duty tournament because of you,” Button said with a tinge of annoyance.
“I most certainly won’t, and I’m deeply sorry for your loss,” Discord replied with a roll of his eyes as he released Button and looked around the crowd. “Those types of things are behind me,” he said, twirling his talon as an arcade cabinet floated behind him.
Button rose to his hooves and mounted the stool for Touhorse once more. He turned to face Discord, one hoof on the joystick. “So, about this game, why do you call it your favorite?” he asked. “How can you even enjoy a game that kills you instantly?”
Discord chuckled. “Well, I enjoy the game because I can actually beat it,” he replied as he snapped his talons. A handheld device appeared in his paw and he turned it on.
Button noticed a familiar sticker of his Mom's cutie mark upon the device, and he stood up with a frown. “Hey, is that my Joy Boy!?” he exclaimed as he readied himself to pounce Discord. “Give it back!”
Discord disappeared with a pop as Button took a flying leap and landed straight on his face. Discord appeared again, out of Button’s reach. “Someone has to beat this game’s high score and it most certainly won't be you,” he said with a smirk, eyes back on the game. “Don’t worry, I’ll only play it when you put it away. Think of it as... a challenge. How are you supposed to get better if you aren’t challenged?”
Button sat up and smirked. “I don’t need to get better. I’m the best,” he said as he straightened his hat.
“Then how come you haven’t beaten Touhorse?” Discord simply asked.
Button bit his lip and pointed at the machine. “This game cheats, and I bet you do too!” Discord looked up from the Joy Boy with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not some thing that can just make whatever I want happen! You’re not the best if you cheat at every game you play!”
Discord shrugged and transformed into a grayed, disembodied hand. “Things have feelings too, you know,” Discord replied as he picked the Joy Boy back up. The fingers worked the device, its speakers providing Discord’s dialogue. “I don’t play to be the best, I play to have fun.” He turned it over to show his new high score on Pac-Pony, right above Button’s best run. “I just happen to do both by cheating.”
Button growled as he looked back to Touhorse. “So you admit that you cheated at this game?”
“Of course I did, that game is impossible,” Discord replied as he transformed back into himself and turned upside down. He started up another run as he spoke. “I don’t know where Luna got the forsaken thing, but I only managed to beat it by cheating. So, I have the high score. Since everypony who tries this game fails, I’ll be the only one with a high score. Doesn’t that bother you?”
Button rolled his eyes again and turned back to the game. He raised a hoof above the "start" button. “What will you do if I beat the first level?”
Discord laughed as he teleported above Button and hovered over his head. Discord crossed his legs and continued to play. “Nothing. I had to remake the game so that all the bullets were shot away from me! You have a better chance of being the next Element of Harmony than beating this!”
Button flicked a switch on his hat, stopping the propeller. He pressed the "start" button and directed all of his focus on the game. Within seconds, the same filly opponent from before changed up her attacks this time. She dive bombed Button’s character, setting her on fire once again. Button winced. A few ponies looked at Button as he started again, but lost interest after his next death.
A fanfare began outside Canterlot Castle that slowly grew louder until it rang in Button’s ears. He blinked just once and died instantly. Annoyed, Button paused to look towards the sound.
Four Royal Guards were playing a fanfare atop a large wooden platform out on the grass. The platform had two podiums sitting just a few feet away from each other. The children and parents all slowly began to circle the platform as Princess Celestia and Princess Luna flew out of the Castle and landed softly upon it. The fanfare ended, and the crowd cheered exuberantly. Both Celestia and Luna smiled as they attended their podiums.
Discord’s eyes widened upon seeing the Princesses. “Whoops, gotta go!” he said as he snapped his talons. Button’s Joy Boy vanished, and Discord flicked off Button’s hat with his tail. Distracted, Button died again.
“Hey!” Button exclaimed as he jumped off of the stool to grab his hat. He looked up to yell at Discord for killing him again, only to find that he had vanished. Button sighed and sat back on the stool, his expression determined as he started up another game.
“She changes her attacks every other game. I’ll have to keep that in mind.”
Button glanced at the Princesses, but immediately turned back to his game. “As if I’m going to give up free game time,” Button mumbled. “I’m going to beat this, even if it takes the whole day.”
“Fillies and gentlecolts, may I have your attention?” Button heard the crowd grow quiet as Celestia spoke. “First, I would like to thank everypony who traveled from near and far to attend this year’s Solar Joystick Jamboree."
“I thank each and every one of you for sharing in the fun and excitement that these games bring. As I stand here amongst all of your smiling faces, it brings me great joy to tell you that I have already decided to renew this event for next year. Huzzah!” Princess Luna said, smiling widely as the crowd burst into a cacophony of excited cheers.
“Yay,” Button replied sarcastically, eyes on the Princesses. He had died again. Button turned back to his game, hearing Princess Celestia’s words drift in and out.
“I know that we are all excited to continue with this year’s contest, and I promise we will get to that in a minute.”
“Or you can get to it now, and save me the time,” Button mumbled as he failed to dodge a barrage of bullets and died.
“But right now, I feel like I need to say something, or risk missing out on it for another year. I consider it a blessing to be able to take part in every single one of your lives. Whether directly or indirectly, I’d like to believe that my rule has been beneficial to you all.”
“I love your rule, Princess Celestia,” one small filly said.
Button put his hoof to his mouth and dry heaved, completely checking out from the conversation. After dodging another barrage and landing some hits, a wave of energy flooded the screen and killed his character. Annoyed, he glanced towards Celestia, who was now standing in the middle of the crowd.
“Yes, very good, little foal. All the Elements of Harmony use teamwork, and through the magic of friendship, they keep our land safe. Does this seem familiar?” Celestia paused, raising a forehoof to make a point. “We do this with video games as well. Video games, despite what some say, can ignite that spark of teamwork and friendship.”
Button could see parents and their foals shuffling in place to go back to the games. He couldn’t blame them. There was nearly an unlimited amount of game time to be enjoyed, but something she said had caught his attention. Back at home, his mother had nothing but bad things to say about his games. She allowed him to buy as many as he wanted, but he heard her talk about them being brain-rotting wastes of time. But one of the most powerful beings in all of Equestria could see the appeal. Within these games you could be more than what the world would allow. He could be a hero in a different land, where a chosen few fought against impossible odds and won.
The Princesses continued with their elaborate speech and Button’s attention wavered. Something seemed to be off with both Princesses. There were dark circles underneath their eyes and Celestia’s wings seemed hesitant to close. It was almost as if she might dash up into the sky at any moment. Luna didn’t look much better. Neither Princess looked quite like the royalty that everyone adored, but Celestia’s words fit the part. Even then, their speech felt more like a heartfelt plea towards her subjects than the announcement of a tournament.
“Fillies and Gentlecolts, we leave you with one last thing.” Both princesses spread their wings and flew back to their podiums. Button noticed Luna was more hesitant to step back to hers. She hid an eye beneath her mane as Celestia continued. “I am proud of every one of my subjects for still showing the magic of friendship and teamwork, despite what has happened the past few years. I know you have probably heard this before, but I am sorry for all of the horrific events that took place, from Manehatten to Vanhoover, to here in Canterlot. I am grateful that you still respect and look up to me.”
“And thank you for accepting me back into your hearts, my... little ponies,” Luna added with a pause. She bit her lip, before her frown straightened into a smile. She turned to Celestia. “But without further ado, may I... have the honors, Sister?”
“You may,” Celestia replied as her horn glowed and a banner unfurled behind her. The banner glimmered in the sunlight behind her while Princess Luna threw her forehooves to the air. Button smirked. This is what he was waiting for.
“May today’s Super Smash Ponies competition begin!”
A chorus of cheering followed Luna’s announcement. Button was standing on his hind legs, cheering with the crowd until he met eyes with Luna. Luna’s smile wavered, and Button swore he saw a tear slide down her cheek before both princesses disappeared in a towering inferno.
Cheering turned to screaming as a shock wave toppled the crowd. Button screamed and fell back, hitting his head on the grass. He looked behind him to see parents scooping up their children and running for their lives. Nopony extended a hoof to help him. His scream drowned amongst the hundreds of others. He couldn't hear or breathe as the smoke from the fire choked him. All he could see was the fire that engulfed the princesses. He grabbed his fallen hat and covered his muzzle, preventing himself from inhaling any more smoke.
Button coughed up a fit as he crawled out of the smoke. He fanned it away from his eyes. Finally managing to open them, he gasped. It wasn’t an illusion. The whole platform was ablaze, and the princesses were nowhere to be seen. The image of both princesses disintegrating within the inferno played back through Button’s mind, and his stomach lurched. Two of Equestria’s heroes, beings of eternal power and love for their subjects, were just killed right in front of his eyes. Button’s face twisted in horror as he looked behind him at all the ponies that were fleeing in terror. His hearing slowly started to come back, but he wished that it hadn't as the citizen's screams replaced the ringing in his ears. Pushing himself back onto his hooves, he placed his hat back on his head and gave one last look towards the platform. He felt his heart sink at the sight.
An emerald ray of light shot out of the air above the inferno and expanded into an oval. Button gulped as the light spread downwards until it reached the ground. The borders of this glowing object ignited with a purple flame before something stepped out of it. That was the only word that Button could register as a skull emerged from the ring of purple flames, followed by a muddy brown hand. The decrepit hand was missing two digits, mere stumps replacing where the fingers would be. He could see the dried blood and maggots hanging off of the hand’s rotting flesh. This monster’s jaw sat at an unnatural angle, one half not even connected to the rest of its skull. Finally, the creature had an ethereal green barrier surrounding its torso, its perpetual glow looking as menacing as the portal it came from. The creature emitted a droning growl that raised all of the fur on Button’s neck.
This thing exited the growing portal, but tripped over itself and fell a few feet forward with a sickening crunch. Its two legs dislodged from their sockets, rotting flesh and missing tendons struggling to hold them in place. The zombie growled again as it lowered its hands to its legs and pulled them back into place.
Button gulped, eyes filling with horrified tears as he heard another sickening snap, followed by a droning moan from another zombie that followed the first. Button screamed and crawled backwards as the zombie slowly began to limp towards him. Its eyeless sockets stared him down and its moan echoed in his ears. As it drew close, Button panicked and threw his hat at the creature. It bounced off the creature’s rotten body and fell to the grass. The creature stopped right above him, drooling a vile and viscous green liquid. Button couldn’t move. He shuddered in fear as this monster slowly reached towards him. “Mommy!” Button cried as he bit his lip. He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.
Whack!
Button heard something hard hit the dirt, followed by a familiar voice lined with annoyance. “Were you sucking on your hoof?”
Button opened his eyes to see Discord smack the headless corpse with his tail. The corpse landed on its back, but slowly crawled back to its feet while the dislodged head moaned amongst a growing number of zombies. More and more zombies exited the portal and spread along the grass. They formed a line of six and filed into place once a line was filled, groaning and waiting. Button popped his hoof out of his mouth and continued to crawl back, sputtering incoherently. There wasn’t just one zombie now. There were dozens, and there was no sign of the portal stopping.
Discord brandished a red and white axe and was dressed in a lumberjack outfit, complete with a fake beard and overalls. He sniffed under his eagle arm and shuddered. “Big Mac forgot to wash these,” he mumbled as he passed a glance at Button. “Well, are you going to get up?”
“Th-those are zombies!” Button yelled as the first line began to limp towards Discord. The zombies extended their arms and emitted a cacophony of groans. Button crawled back as Discord teleported forward, appearing in front of the advancing line. Discord spun the axe in his paw and smirked.
“I get paid by the hour I’ll have you know. I don’t have time for you!” Discord yelled as he readied his swing.
Button gasped as he clutched his head in horror. “Use the sharp side, Discord! What are you doing!?”
“Ratings won’t let me,” Discord replied flatly. He swung his axe as all six zombies lunged at him. “Fore!”
Button winced as the zombies shot into the air, soaring high into the sky before they fell behind the portal and out of sight. The second line of zombies glanced at Discord and broke from their forming ranks. The zombies groaned as they stumbled towards him. “Discord run away!” Button yelled. “You’re going to be overrun!”
Discord scoffed as he struck down the next wave of zombies, tripping one with his axe and knocking its head off with a golf swing. “And it’s going, going go—”
Discord was cut off as two more groups of zombies lunged for him. They threw themselves at him in droves. Discord swung his axe frantically, knocking the zombies left and right as their body parts flew everywhere. But more and more were filling the gaps he made in their huddled mass. Eventually they closed in on him from all sides, clawing any part of him their rotted hands could get hold of. Soon they had formed a massive pile on top of him, holding him down by the sheer weight of their numbers. Suddenly, the growing pile of zombies caved in on itself. Discord appeared behind Button in a flash of light, brushing the dirt and a stray arm off of his pants. “That was a close o—”
Button jumped onto Discord’s shoulders and covered his mouth. “Shh,” he whispered as he glared at the zombie pile. It was slowly unraveling as zombies picked up their limbs and forced them back into place. The group descended back into groans as each zombie surveyed the battlefield, but remained eerily still. Button even locked eyes with one of the zombies, but it didn’t move forward.
“You broke their line of sight,” Button whispered as he pulled on one Discord’s ears, urging him to step back. Discord teleported behind of the garden statues some feet away, and Button hopped off.
“Line of what?” Discord asked incredulously. Button grimaced, but the zombies didn’t seem to hear them. Button continued with caution.
“Some characters in video games have a line of sight, and it’s usually large during the day. That’s why once you teleported far enough away, they just stood there.” Button peeked around from behind the statue. “I’m looking right at one of them, and he isn’t trying to attack me.”
Discord peeked around the statue as well and raised an eyebrow at Button. “You know that one doesn’t have any eyes, right?” Discord replied flatly. “I’m sure you would be stumbling around too if you didn’t have eyes. Do you want to give that a try?”
Button didn’t reply. He was staring ahead at the portal, eyes widening in horror. The portal was expanding even further, engulfing the inferno and podium as a larger zombie limped out. Button’s stomach threatened to turn over at the sight of the creature.
Its head carried an extra arm and cleaver that flailed aimlessly with each stumbling step. Its face was rough, pale, and haphazardly stitched across the forehead. The stitches trailed in every direction, spreading all over its bulging chest, wrists, and legs. Whatever had patched up this creature hadn’t even bothered to use real stitches, since Button could see rusted, barbed wire stained with dirt and blood holding the flesh together. A sickly green gas leaked out from between the stitches and every one of the creature’s pores. It held a second bloody cleaver with one pale hand and a rusted meat hook and chain that wrapped around his forearm in its left hand.
The creature retched and gurgled incomprehensibly. It looked like it was going to throw up at any moment. Button shared that one trait with it, but what threatened to make Button throw up even more was the abomination’s stomach, or lack thereof. Where its stomach should have been was instead a giant hole. The only thing keeping its insides from leaking out were a pair of metal bars that sat horizontally across its flesh. Even then, its emerald intestines were hanging out, leaking putrid black bile onto the grass as it walked. Everywhere the bile touched, the grass withered and died. Finally, much like the zombies that came before it, this creature bore a green barrier around its torso. This zombie looked like its existence only consisted of pain and torture. Not a single horror story could encapsulate the repugnance of this being.
The abomination chuckled as it locked eyes with Button’s abandoned hat, still lying on the grass. More gobs of bile splattered to the ground as he pointed his cleaver at the hat, then at Button. Button caught the abomination’s gaze and he pointed towards his hat. “Discord, teleport it!”
The hat vanished and appeared on Button’s head. Just as Button predicted, the abomination stared at where the hat used to be. After a few moments, the abomination looked forward, staring off into space. As the portal grew to enormous proportions, more and more abominations started coming out of it. Dozens of the repulsive creatures joined the smaller zombies that stood at attention, snarling and waiting. Button sighed in relief, but a commanding voice surprised him.
“Stand back, civilian! Get to safety!”
Six Royal Guards dropped from the skies in front of Button, falling into an attack formation. The guard in front raised a hoof to point at the abomination. Button’s stomach clenched as he saw the abomination staring back towards him. Within the amount of time that the guards had arrived, more abominations were stumbling out of the portal. The guards were within line of sight, and that wasn’t good.
“I want all of you attacking the big targets first! Pull each in a different direction and take them out. Divide and conquer. For the Royal Sisters!”
A flashing LED “stop” sign appeared in front of the guards. Button noticed the few abominations in front readying their hooks while the smaller zombies remained still. Discord’s face appeared on the sign. “I don’t think that is a good idea, friends,” Discord said as he looked towards Button. None of the guards followed his gaze.
“You are not a Princess, Discord. You have no authority over the Royal Guard!” The guard in the front, most likely the leader replied. He flared his wings and the other guards followed suit. “Formation Double Team!”
“No!” Button cried out, but the guards had already taken to the sky. The pegasi formed teams of two that arced high into the air before dive-bombing down towards the abominations.
An arm extended from the stop sign and snapped it’s fingers, transforming it back into Discord. Button watched the abominations stare up at the guards, their hooks primed and ready for their first target. They all smiled maniacally.
“Flesh, pony flesh!” the monsters cried, their voices crackling and drowning. The abominations pointed up at the group with their cleavers before they flung their hooks.
“Evasive maneuvers!” the captain roared. The guards swerved, each barely able to dodge the torrent of bloody metal. “Retreat!” the captain yelled as Button watched one chain constrict around a guard, the hooks barely missing the rest of them. The captured guard struggled against his bindings, pulling on the chain for dear life. He fell like a rock towards Discord and hit the ground, rolling to a stop. The rest of the squad made a mad scramble toward Discord and Button’s hiding place, but more members were met with the same fate. Two other guards screamed out as the chains wrapped around their bodies, dragging them towards the ground. The two guards screamed for help as they were slowly pulled towards the mass of zombies, waiting to tear them limb from limb. With a snap of his talons, Discord teleported the chained guards behind him right as the first line of zombies saw their fresh meat. With their target disappearing, the zombies fell back into line.
The captain landed behind Discord, gasping as he flew to one of the bound guards and pulled at their bindings. “Stay still team, you’ll just crush yourself!”
“It hurts,” one of the guards muttered as he coughed.
The captain growled and turned towards Discord, pointing a hoof in his face. “Now you decide to save them, after they were all chained up?! Is this your idea of fun? Watching us try to save our land while you stand there and suck your talons?”
“Would you rather I teleport your soldiers back into the fray?” Discord asked as his eyes glinted with a newfound fury. “Those creatures could have dinner and a movie!”
“The Royal Guard is all over Equestria, from Ponyville to here, and you are treating us like a joke!” the captain roared.
“They attacked home?”
“Guys, we don’t have time to—” Button tried to say, but the captain interrupted him.
“This doesn’t concern you, colt!” he replied as he flew higher to glare at Discord.
Button watched as Discord’s pupils turned into fireballs while his body grew to twice his size. “You DARE to insult me and then blame me for your inexperienced guards! They would be turkeys on a spit roast if it weren’t for me! You guards have done nothing but fail against every invader, and now I’m going to sit back and watch as you fail again.”
“HELP!” a rogue voice screamed.
The cry for help reverberated through Button’s body as he turned from the argument towards the voice. One guard had been gashed with a hook across one of his wings. His good wing beat mercilessly against the air as he tried in vain to escape the range of the abominations’ hooks. Each licked their lips with overly long tongues as they reeled in their weapons to finish the pegasus off. The guard flapped furiously, his mangled wing barely managing to give him any lift. Tears streaked down his face as he dared to look behind him.
Button glanced at Discord, who was facing the furious captain, but his attention appeared to be elsewhere. Discord was reading a book as the captain barked insults at him. “Discord! We don’t have much time! Stop the zombies before that guard is ripped to shreds!”
“Just a moment, I think the winter is finally coming,” Discord replied as he turned the page and snapped his talons. “And you’re distracting me, Captain.” A doghouse appeared above the captain, falling on top of him and pinning him to the grass.
“This is treason!” He roared. “I knew that you were never reformed!”
“Keep barking, dog,” Discord replied flatly as he licked a talon and turned another page.
Button looked back towards the group and gulped as one final abomination stepped out of the portal, followed by a fully armored being on the back of a skeletal horse. It looked to be more like the leader of this army, since Button could distinctly see the knight’s glowing red eyes, a mark of life or perhaps undeath. A broadsword was sheathed at its side and it was decorated in gray metal armor from head to toe. The knight trotted out to the front of his army as it cackled. An emerald green aura surrounded its armor as it unsheathed its sword and pointed towards the bound guard, who sputtered and cried out in fear. Its dry and cracked voice echoed across the battlefield, freezing the army while the abominations held their chains on the captured guard steady.
“This one is mine!”
With a bony hand, the skeletal knight’s aura shot onto his glove. It turned green as an ethereal skull with a gaping maw formed in its hand. The skull pulsed with energy until it burst into flame. The knight aimed its spell right at the bound guard.
“Ner’zhul wants his offerings! Your soul is mine!” it yelled as it fired the glowing skull directly at the guard. Time seemed to stand still.
“NO!”
Button didn’t know how he moved so fast, but he was thankful that he did. He ran towards the guard and grabbed his hat, turning on the propeller. With only one chance, he aimed, and threw. The hat careened towards the flaming skull, intercepting it mere feet away from the restrained guard. Eyes bulging in horror, Button watched his hat burst into sickly green flames. His heart pounded in his ears as he sat on his haunches, mane obscuring his eyes. His hat, his favorite birthday gift from his mother, was gone. Discord, the Guards, and even the knight gasped as Button’s forehoof slowly lowered to the ground.
Button’s stomach turned over as he remembered the lead guard confirming his fear. Ponyville had been attacked. He wished that he hadn’t been reminded of his mother. The thought of a zombie invasion back home only made Button want to curl up in a ball.
“Mommy.”
Button bit back the bile welling up in his throat. He had to be strong. It was just a hat, a present from his still alive and completely fine mother. The captain could be wrong, or the invasion down in Ponyville could have failed. The Elements of Harmony were down in Ponyville, and they never failed at saving Equestria before. Ponyville and his mother were safe, and as long as his mother was okay, he would be as well. But the only way he would know for sure was if he came out of this alive.
Button heard the cacophony of groans start up again, and he raised his head to see the first line of zombies stumbling towards him. He felt a paralyzing shiver run down his spine as he watched the knight’s green power surround the zombies, before they began to run towards him, arms outstretched.
“Zombies never ran!”
Button blinked and he was teleported behind Discord along with the bound guard, chains detached from him. “That will simply not do. I still need you, Button.” Discord surrounded the chains in his magic and worked on freeing the guards. Button kept his eyes on the army. The knight pointed his sword over at him, but neither the abominations or zombies responded to his battle cries.
“I’ve had enough of this standing around!” the knight bellowed as he brought his sword down upon one of the zombies, slicing its head clean off. Button gasped and stepped back as the zombie bent down to pick his head back up. The zombie put its head on upside down before stumbling and toppling over. “This castle should have been razed by the time I came through the portal! Attack the ponies! Take no prisoners and spread the Plague until this land is barren! Go you useless piles of meat! Kill!”
Again, the zombies didn’t respond. Button expected this, but he wasn’t sure how. It was on the tip of his tongue.
“Ner’Zhul… big hulking ogre zombies… The Plague?”
Button blinked. “Warcraft! That’s it!” Button yelled as he jumped to his hooves and pointed to Discord. “Discord! Don’t use any magic on these zombies! The green shield around their stomachs is an anti-magic barrier, given to them by the banshees of their world! You won’t damage them, and it will just waste your energy!”
“Should I axe them a question?” Discord asked as he glanced at the zombies, teleporting a guitar into his hand. He double-taked between the zombies and the guitar, before he knocked the guitar with his talons, turning it back into his trusty axe. None of the zombies were moving. They merely licked their lips, sharpened their hooks with their meat cleavers, or stared off into space. “Do you know something about these creatures that we don’t?”
“Yes, Discord. I finally remember. All of these enemies are from Warcraft 3, a computer game.” Button pointed at the knight across the battlefield. He was still yelling at the half-witted army, but no amount of insults could stir them. “You’re a Death Knight, aren’t you!? Servant of Ner’Zhul!”
The Knight was stunned to silence as his attention snapped to Button. His intense glare bore into Button as he rode out from behind the army, stopping directly in front. Button responded by taking a few steps back, carefully eyeing the distance between his own hooves and the knight's horse. The Knight raised one of his gauntlets into the air, which began to glow a deep, menacing green. Button eyed the distance one last time before taking another step backward, motioning for Discord and the guards behind him to do the same. The green glow enveloping the Knight’s gauntlet immediately dimmed, and fizzled out. Button smirked as he pointed at Discord. “See? He can’t cast any spells on you if you stay far enough away from him.”
“How do you know what I am?” the Death Knight bellowed as he stepped forward on his horse.
Button took a step back in turn. “I’ve played your game! I know everything about you and your army, which you seem to have trouble commanding!” He smirked while the Death Knight roared and pointed his sword at Button. The sword glowed with an ethereal green light as he cast the same spell that incinerated Button’s hat. Button side-stepped the spell with ease and pointed once again. He glanced towards Discord and the Guards with a smirk, but looked back to the Knight. “Looks like you’ve never heard of ‘Hold Position’, have you?”
“What are you talking about, you pony scum?” the Death Knight roared as he prepared the spell again, but his gauntlet quickly dimmed in power.
“Perhaps I’ll educate you.” Button stepped forward. “Whenever your units go through a portal in Warcraft, their movement breaks to avoid running into the enemy without your command. Once your units exited this portal, they held their position and waited for their commander to point them towards the enemy.”
“Is that why the zombies near the portal didn’t attack?” Discord asked as he looked towards the army.
“That’s correct. We walked into their line of sight.” Button’s smirk widened as he brushed some dust off of his shoulder. “Every unit has a line of sight in Warcraft, and once we were far enough away, they just stood there in their ‘idle animation’. The first zombie tripped and managed to catch me in his own line of sight.”
“And we flew into their field of vision,” the captain said.
Button nodded. “That’s why the zombies didn’t attack you, but the abominations could. The smaller zombies can’t attack aerial units.” Button then pointed back to the Knight. “As for you. I know your game front to back.” Button stood on his hind legs and began to smack his hoof into his other with every memorized fact. “Death Coil. Cast range, 40 yards. And since we aren’t in your universe, it’s able to be dodged. Along with that, your spells seem a little limited.”
The Knight’s flaming eyes brightened a little more, which only confirmed Button’s suspicions. “Which must mean that you’re a pretty low level. You may well be able to shoot a Death Coil at me, but your army is more of a threat than you are.”
Discord laughed jovially and clapped his hands. “Excellent work, Button!” he said as he turned to the captain of the Guard, whose jaw was still agape. “Civilians are sometimes more useful than the Guard. Ironic, isn’t it?” he asked, and the captain growled.
“I’ve had enough of you!” The Death Knight’s sword flooded with green energy as he pointed it as Discord. “I’ll have fun spilling your blood on my blade.”
Discord smirked and snapped his talons. “Time to get a little more comfortable.” A stalk of wheat appeared in Discord’s mouth and he munched on it as the rips and tears in his lumberjack outfit repaired themselves.
Button stepped next to Discord. “Guards, evacuate Canterlot’s citizens to somewhere safe. Don’t let any of the monsters cut or bite you. Or you’ll end up like one of them.”
“What about me?” the guard with the damaged wing asked.
“Are you cut or bleeding?” Button glared at the guard, more serious than he had ever been in his life. Considering it was the guard’s life on the line, Button found it to be appropriate.
“N-no?”
“Then you’re lucky.” Button turned back to the captain. “Did you already evacuate the other cities before you came here?”
“All of the Guard was put to the task of evacuating,” the captain replied as he glanced at the zombies, before looking back at Button. “I’m not sure of Canterlot’s status, but we will check.”
“Thank you.” Button pointed towards Ponyville and the smoke cloud that was forming above, and then at the smoke that began to rise from Canterlot Castle. “We need you to evacuate now. There are children and mothers panicking and they could be running into more trouble.”
The lead guard looked to the smoke that Button pointed out, and he nodded as he turned back to his partners. “You’re right," the captain adjusted his helmet and smiled. "Our job is to protect and serve. One second here is another second wasted.”
“Thank you.” Button sighed in relief. “I want two of you distracting any monsters that are trying to leave Canterlot. If they get out, you bring them back in here. I want the captain and another evacuating the citizens. Send them anywhere, just not here or anyplace you know that’s been attacked. The last two… we’re going to need to fight.”
“Sounds like a plan, Kid.” The captain turned towards his comrades. “You heard him. I want two in the air around the Castle! I want my partner evacuating door to door with me! Any rogue guards will be sent to evacuate as well! Finally, I need two guards front and center to make sure Discord and the colt get out alive! For the Royal Sisters!”
Despite some hesitation, one pegasus split from the group and walked to Discord’s other side. “I’ve seen the Royal Guard be too late for too many fights. Not this time. Discord, it is an honor to fight alongside you.”
Discord chuckled. “I wouldn’t use that word, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Despite his sarcastic demeanor, he raised a paw to his forehead. “For the Royal Sisters?”
“For the Royal Sisters! Move out!” the Royal Guard shouted in unison as they split up, each attending to their new duties. The knight opened its visor to reveal its pale skin, putrid and rotting, much like the terrible creations that he tried to control. His eyes glowed the same color as his spells: an ominous emerald green from the aura that helped cast his previous spell.
“You aren’t going to win, ponies,” the Death Knight growled. “Your princesses, the source of your world’s power, are gone! Equestria will fall under our might, and I’ll make sure that all of your heads are hanging outside these castle walls for challenging the Scourge!”
Button gulped as he sidled up to Discord. He looked over at one of the zombies, its maw dislocating and locking back into place as it leaked drool all over its chin. He heard both guards step behind him and flare their wings, readying for battle. Button leaned close to Discord. “I’ll take the army, you take the ugly one,” he whispered.
“Hitting too close to home?” Discord asked with a fiendish chuckle.
Button blinked. “What’s that mean?”
“You know… when you go out with a friend and come home with the other mare? The one that looks like a hoof?” Discord rolled his eyes. “Nevermind, you don’t go out.” He eyed one of the abomination’s meat hooks. “Any advice?”
Button winced as a headache began to flare up from trying to recall any tips. “Um, don’t use any damaging magic against them, don’t let them scratch or bite you. The Scourge are affected by a disease, and if you aren’t careful, you’ll join them. The disease can’t be spread to you as long as the Lich King isn’t here, but you can turn into a zombie if you die.”
Discord scoffed. “Big deal. I’ve already died once.”
Button’s jaw dropped.
“What?” Discord asked as he pulled a gravestone with his name out of the ground. “I got better,” he added. “However you plan to deal with that knight, it better be good.”
“Something feels off about that knight. I know what game he is from, but amateurs of the Scourge aren’t given an army to lead unless they prove themselves. Any mistake will be my last, so I need to think of a plan.” Button reached up to adjust his hat, but remembered that it was now gone. He bit his lip. “Just take the lead for a minute while I think of something.”
“Ah, my favorite type of plan: improvise.” Discord chuckled. “Got it.”
The Death Knight roared and stabbed his sword into the ground. The grass beneath his blade turned brown and dried out in an ever expanding circle. The death spread like wildfire and Button’s eyes widened, remembering the spell.
“Death and Decay.”
He jumped on the back of one of the pegasi and stopped him by lightly gripping his mane. “Impressive research on the enemy, Button Mash,” the guard said.
Button smiled. “Thanks. I need your names for the battle. We don’t have much time.” He glanced at the knight.
“Aerial Ace, Division 3 of the Royal Guard,” the stallion replied as he looked to the other guard. He met Button and the other guard’s eyes and lightly bowed his head.
“Safeguard, Division 3 as well,” he added as he turned to the army. Button noticed Ace biting his lip and he swallowed his guilt for throwing these two guards into a fight that left them woefully unprepared. Nevertheless, he inhaled to calm his nerves and pointed to the sky.
“Aerial Ace, Safeguard, fly! Fly!” Button yelled. Without hesitation, the guards took to the sky while Discord remained hovering a few inches from the ground as the grass wilted beneath him.
“How annoying. Can’t rest on the ground,” Discord said. “I’ll defeat your army either way, Death Knight. Excuse me.”
The Death Knight roared in response as he charged on horseback towards Discord. Discord threw his axe up to the Death Knight’s blade. The two blades met in a shower of sparks. Discord raised his hoof to kick the Death Knight off of his horse, but the Knight was quicker. Discord’s leg was cut clean off, and hovered in midair as the Knight paused.
“Why aren’t you screaming in pain!” he roared as he aimed to cut the hovering leg in two, but missed.
Discord chuckled as he snapped his talons and the leg kicked the Knight straight in the face, knocking him off his horse. “‘Tis but a flesh wound, Sir Arthur,” Discord replied. He reattached the leg and teleported away, leaving the knight amongst the chaotic battlefield of rotting flesh and thrown weapons.
“Abominations, hook the pony scum out of the air!”
Button gasped as he watched a flurry of meat hooks launch towards him. Each hook was the size of a full grown pony and each narrow miss was accurate enough to chill Button’s blood. “Left!” Button yelled as both guards dashed away, one hook managing to snip off a few hairs from Safeguard’s tail.
Discord teleported behind the Scourge army and held out a paw. With a bright flash, one of the Canterlot Gardens decorative statues appeared in his paw. With a mighty swing, he took out three abominations before they could turn around. The stone chipped and cracked as Discord sent the hulking giants up into the air. “Home run!” he yelled before he teleported backwards from a meat hook traveling across the battlefield. He noticed the soaring abominations spreading out in the air, their mangled corpses somehow held together despite Discord’s punishing attack.
Button noticed the Death Knight turn its focus on Discord as he called his horse and mounted back up. He had his back to Button, which meant it might be the perfect moment to strike. Or at least, distract.
“Discord!” Button yelled, “We can’t let these things out of Canterlot! Slam them down, not up!”
Discord nodded as he dodged another flurry of meat hooks and tied them up in an elaborate bow. “I haven’t played Double Dutch in forever!” Discord laughed as he pulled off one of his arms to hold the chains and skipped over them like a schoolfilly. However, his fun was short lived as the abominations up in the air reached their peak and started to fall. Thinking quickly, Discord threw the statue towards some new abominations just as another barrage of meat hooks came his way.
The statue was pulverized as the hooks turned what was left of it into a cloud of dust. The abominations cried out as they were blinded, and Discord took this moment to spread his eagle talons. What Button perceived to be shiny white puppeteer wires attached to the airborne abominations, wrapping around their stomachs to prevent any body parts from ripping off due to gravity. Discord pulled his talons back and the abominations fell straight to the ground in front of him, squashing a ghoul that had made a beeline straight towards him. Discord golf clapped at the disgusting piles of meat in front of him, and he flicked his talons towards the Death Knight. The abominations rolled over, squishing another dozen ghouls and zombies before Discord let go of his spell and crossed his arms.
“Your puppets are more fun than you are, Sir Arthur,” Discord said.
“My name is not Arthur! It is Deathplague, the Destroyer of Scum Ponies!” the Death Knight roared.
“Well you certainly seem to be living up to your name,” Discord replied, sarcasm lining his words. “If you don’t have fun while you fight, what’s the point?” Discord pointed at the collapsed pile of corpses. “And we aren’t done yet, kids!”
The knight growled at seeing a part of his army already flattened. His sword glowed with more ethereal green light as he roared. “Don’t patronize me! You are not going to outsmart the Scourge!” the Death Knight yelled as he slashed his sword across the air in anger. “Scourge, obey your leader! Spread and attack Canterlot! Kill any ponies that you see! These pathetic equines can’t evacuate this entire city that quickly! Kill and give us enough bodies to spread the Plague of Undeath upon Equestria!”
“Ace, this is our chance,” Button whispered, gripping Ace’s neck. “He’s going to try and cast a spell on Discord while he’s fighting. I’m going to distract him while you distract the army. Divided, we conquer.”
“Aye aye, sir,” Ace replied. Sure enough, the Death Knight pooled his energy into his blade. Button gripped Ace even harder.
“Fly as fast as you can and kick him from behind. They aren’t used to our speed, so we’ll use that to our advantage. Go!”
Both pegasi shot out of the sky, dodging hook after hook as the Scourge army began to disperse. Discord turned around to close the gate to Canterlot, before he teleported behind a ghoul and punched its head off with a set of boxing gloves. Button saw the Death Knight charging his spell.
“Come on, Ace! Go!” Button commanded.
“I’m flying as fast as I—”
“Yes!” Button cheered as they slammed into the Knight, right as he was releasing his spell.
“Well, that was close,” Discord said as he watched the Knight soar off of his horse and land on his stomach. The skull shot off into the sky and out of sight.
“You little nuisance!” the Death Knight yelled as his horse sprinted towards him. Before he could jump upon it, Discord conjured a gigantic bottle and scooped up the horse. He flipped it upside down, closing it with a cork while Button took off Ace’s helmet.
“Trust me,” he whispered. Ace merely nodded. Discord continued teleporting around the gardens, teaming up with Safeguard as he smacked away any zombie or abomination that threatened to leave the battlefield. Both Safeguard and Discord were laughing as they tagged each other in and out to land a hit or two, or even a throw into another stumbling abomination.
Button and Ace charged towards the Death Knight right as he raised his sword to bring it down upon Discord’s glass cage. Button’s impromptu helmet hoof met the sword, the two clashing with a loud “clang”! The force bounced the sword off of the magical metal. Button felt a blunt force strike his hoof and he yelled out in pain as the Death Knight fell to the ground. His sword swung high into the air, landing in a smaller glass bottle. Instantly, the massive portal that had spewed forth the army of zombies and horrid abominations began to sputter and close.
Button smirked as he jumped off of Ace, his hooves throbbing, but not broken from the force dampening spell upon the helmet. “No, the spell!” Ace yelled as Button landed on the dead grass. The moment his hooves touched the deadly grass, nothing happened. The Death Knight slowly got up and gasped.
“Someone gave you that sword, didn’t they?” Button asked. An abomination slowly crept up behind Button, but the colt stood his ground as Discord appeared in front of him and swatted it away with a golf club. Button winked at Discord as he stepped towards the Death Knight. “You should have played sports in school, Discord,” he added with a laugh.
Discord chuckled in return as he pulled the abomination back into the perimeter of the battlefield with his puppeteer strings. “Already did, as you can tell.” Discord pulled out a red and gray varsity jacket and showed it to Button. The jacket had the year “19XX” on it, which confused Button, but he wasn’t surprised in the least.
Button simply nodded and looked up at the sky. He saw a single gray dot, and his eyes widened at the mystery. “Hey, Discord,” he whispered as the Death Knight charged on foot towards him. “Up above. On my mark. Whatever it is, use it.”
Discord stole a quick glance to the sky, and then nodded as he poofed away. The Death Knight drew closer, his dislocated jaw hanging out from his fall as he glared with fury at Button. His now red eyes glowed even deeper as he outstretched his arms towards Button. Safeguard tackled him before he got within arm’s length, sending him sprawling to the ground yet again. Ace flew over to Button to pick him back up and dodged one last meat hook as Discord slammed a flag of Equestria on top of the final abomination.
“Face it, Death Knight, it’s over!” Button yelled, grinning from ear to ear. “Ner’Zhul must not be that smart if he thinks that a simple enchanted blade given to an amateur Death Knight could stop Equestria!” He glanced towards the sky. The dot was getting bigger, and Discord had his eyes on it too. Button had a feeling that the dot wasn’t from this world, which brought a sinking feeling to his stomach. He kept his composure however as he turned back to the Death Knight. Whatever it was, it was only a matter of time.
The Death Knight coughed as he looked up at Button, decomposing teeth gnashing in anger. He slowly stood up and laughed maniacally. “You think that you’ve won? You can take away my power from me all you want, but you’ll still lose! Muahahaha!” His laughing grew louder and louder, in spite of his absolute loss and the failure that he no doubt brought to his superiors. The last zombie had been pounded into dust by Discord, and as the gray dot whizzed past one of the guards, Button gasped. It was a gray and red missile, marked with black and white checkerboard paint. It had the words “Ha Ha Ha!” spray painted on the side of it, and sputtered teal smoke into the sky as it fell. Button didn’t know what it was, but he would use it either way. Discord formed a portal in front of the missile and the Death Knight right as Button yelled out.
“Get away!”
The Death Knight’s laughs were drowned out as the missile struck. The resulting explosion shook the earth and blew Button off his hooves despite his attempt to escape the blast. Devastating winds picked Button up and tossed him against the garden’s metal fence. He cried out and covered his face as a torrent of dirt and dust collapsed on top of him. He waited a few seconds for the shockwave to die down, and then brushed his shoulders and looked towards the knight with a gasp. The Death Knight was nowhere to be seen. All that remained where he was standing was a massive crater. Wherever that missile came from, it didn’t matter now. They had won.
Button stood up, but quickly collapsed as Ace and Safeguard cheered and flew over to him. Discord appeared with a teleport, holding a bent tennis racquet and frowning. “I wonder whose racquet this is?” he thought aloud as he tossed the racquet behind him. The wires turned into little worms and unfurled while the metal frame sprouted small legs and walked away. Button tried to laugh, but only managed to groan in pain.
“We did it, we won.” Button coughed and slowly got back to his hooves, with a little help from Safeguard. He looked up to the sky, searching for any other missiles in the air. He was relieved to see none. His mind immediately shifted to his mother, and he looked to Ace and Safeguard. “You need… to evacuate the other cities.” Button winced as he lightly massaged his ribs with a hoof. “Discord, can I have a ride home? These abominations aren’t going to go anywhere now that the portal has closed. I need… to see if Mom’s okay.”
Discord nodded. “If you deserve anything, it’s that,” he said as he lowered himself so that Button could hop on. Button wrapped his forehooves around Discord’s neck and passed a glance to the two guards, both saluting with pride.
“It was a pleasure fighting alongside you both. Discord and…”
“Button Mash,” Button mumbled.
“Button Mash, I like that,” Ace replied with a chuckle.
Safeguard nodded. “Sounds like a name that could kick some flank.”
“Well I just did, kind of,” Button replied as he raised a hoof to remind himself about his missing hat. He lightly smiled. “Good luck, you two.”
With a nod and a wave, Discord rose into the air and began his descent down the Canterlot Cliff towards Ponyville. Button blinked as he held on, internally thanking Discord for flying slow. “Too tired for a teleport?” Button asked.
“I’d rather not teleport into a battle right after having one,” Discord admitted. “My power isn’t limitless.”
“Oh, right.” Button’s eyes slowly began to droop closed, but the wind that beat against his lids forced them open. Fear gripped his heart as the smoke that poured from Ponyville grew closer and closer.
“Mom… please be okay.”
Author's Note
After a year of on and off editing and writing this chapter, I can finally announce that Doomsday Arcade, the fic that is probably at the top of my hype train, has officially been started. I know that there's going to be a lot of questions for this story, and all I ask is that you wait and let them be revealed. Refer to this blog for the people I thanked for making this chapter and story happen. Other than that, I hope you all enjoy the ride I am about to take you on. Stay tuned and keep your eyes on these authors notes. They are going to be important. I'll see you next chapter.
PS: Anyone who would love to start the beginnings of my Patreon may do so with this link. Every little bit helps.
