Author's Note
Special thanks to Loyal and Silver Flare for their excellent editing work! Both of these gentlemen are great authors in their own right, so please do check out their works as well!
NOTE: Fimfic's 'sex' tag is here for transparency sake, however, this story does not contain explicit material.
As always, thanks for taking time to read this, and I hope you enjoy it. Constructive feedback is always welcome!
I Remember
“Ugh, could they have made this thing any itchier?”
In truth, I’m sure the designers and seamstresses that hoof-stitched my robe didn’t intend it to be as itchy or as uncomfortable as I now found it. After all, each pony chosen to work on my ‘official’ attire was hoof-picked by Celestia herself, and they had access to the finest fabrics, silks, and trimmings in all of Equestria. Heck, they spent nearly a year fiddling with nine possible designs, all of which seemed perfectly acceptable to me at first. Really, they did a wonderful job, one that even Rarity was jealous of.
Yet, at the moment, I’d have traded the velvet-robe, the sash, and all of the finery in the kingdom for an anti-static spell.
“Oh, come on, stay in place you–” I muttered a few choice words under my breath as I attempted once again to keep my crown on my head, where it unfortunately belonged on this particular morning. Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful, and I’m proud to wear it, but I much prefer my tiara over this over-sized, gold and gem-laden brick. I suppose it’s a bit like my dad used to say about wearing ties – wear them when you have to; no more, no less.
A few more adjustments brought some relief to the constant static-cling along my sides and back, though I still had to hold my head just a bit higher than normal to keep the crown in place. I hated doing that too; it made me look like I was peering down my muzzle at everypony.
“Heavy is the head that wears the crown, I presume?” The deep, familiar voice of my longtime seneschal, Ink Drop, drew me away from my ruminations.
“Yes, as a matter of fact it is,” I replied, carefully turning toward him without jostling the crown out of position for the hundredth time. “Though that might have something to do with the sack of bricks that I have on my head right now. Perhaps my trusty advisor would care to share in his Princess’ burden?” I added with a sly grin.
Ink Drop, or Ink as he preferred to be called, just chuckled and booped me on the tip of my freshly-powdered nose. “I’ll take a rain check, Your Highness.” If the makeup team had seen him do that, they’d have driven him from the castle with brushes and mascara sticks as weapons. “Besides,” he added, “the crown would just clash with my mane terribly.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Well, remember that I can cash in your rain checks at any time.” I bumped him in the shoulder for good measure. “Princess’ prerogative and all.”
Ink feigned outrage for a moment. “Oh dear, and here I was thinking that we had seen the last of Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Tyrant of Ponyville.”
“Hey, that was just that one time!” I levitated my sceptre over from its pillow-topped stand and waved it at him. “And in any case, I wasn’t the one trying to fill the whole castle with clou—”
I paused, first in surprise at my slip-up, then in anticipation of Ink’s response. He was studying my reaction intensely, but I ignored him for the moment, concentrating instead on an image of my castle filled nearly to capacity with clouds, and me chasing after a cyan blur.
On previous occasions, such a memory would have filled me with more sorrow than joy, but today would be different. This time, it was a memory that I could look back on and laugh.
“Princess? Are you alright?” As I expected, Ink’s voice registered a few seconds later. But no tears today, no sir. Today was a good day.
“Yes, Ink, I’m alright. Quite fine, actually.”
“Are you sure?” Ink replied quietly. “I know this means a lot to you, Your Highness, but you’ve nearly worked yourself to the bone these past few weeks.”
I had worked with Ink Drop long enough to know that half of what he said was never spoken at all. Hidden beneath his honest concern he was chiding me for working too hard. Sure, I put in a few long nights; okay, maybe more than few, but I had to make sure that everything was just right. After all, it was ten years ago today that I unveiled my proudest creation as a mage and my first real contribution as a princess of Equestria.
Today was the annual celebration of a relatively new holiday for all of Equestria; a holiday of my own creation.
Today was Remembrance Day.
And it was going to be a good day.
A knock on the door to my chambers startled us both, and I looked past Ink to see one of my guards standing in the doorway. “Pardon me, Princess, but I am to inform you that all of the preparations are complete, and the crowds are assembled in the courtyard, as you requested.”
“Thank you. Please inform the staff that I will be there momentarily to get things under way.”
The guard snapped a quick salute and was gone before I could even offer a friendly wave. Obviously, I still had some work to do on their social skills, but that was a matter for another time. Today was a big day; an important day for a great many ponies.
And they were expecting to see their Princess at any moment.
“Ink, you’re right, of course,” I said as I floated the sceptre back over to its perch. “I’ve probably overdone it again, but if there’s one night a year that I’ll turn in early, it’s this one.” Ink smiled knowingly as I turned for the door. “And if my schedule just happens to be empty tomorrow morning, I’ll tell Powder Blush that my smudged makeup is totally my fault.”
Yes, today would be a good day.
As usual, the courtyard was filled to the limits with ponies. The crowd seemed to get a bit larger each year, a testament both to the popularity of this holiday, and the growing population of Ponyville. The town’s borders stretched further out each year as families grew bigger and more ponies moved in from other towns and settlements. I still worried that the town’s rustic, Earth-pony roots would begin to fade with time. Then again, I’m the one that somehow summoned a huge crystalline castle into the middle of town, so I wasn’t exactly helping matters in that regard.
I stepped out of the castle’s main door and paused at the top of the marble steps. I could have used the royal balcony, but I preferred to be as close to the residents’ level as I could. Sure, it plays well in the papers, but really, it was my way of reminding myself to stay grounded, despite the crown on my head and wings on my back. It helped me remember where I came from, and who I worked for.
I smiled and waved at the cheering crowd. A blush still colored my cheeks a bit under the wave of attention and fawning, but I had mostly become used to it. I let them continue for another half-minute or so before I raised my hoof to beg their silence.
“Good morning to you all, and thank you for such a warm welcome. Truly, it is good to see you all here as we prepare to celebrate Remembrance Day once more.”
A shrill cry went up from somewhere in the crowd, and a hundred heads turned at once to its source – a mother trying frantically to quiet a rather upset foal.
“I’ll take that as my cue to keep it short today.” I kept my laugh to a respectable, princess-like chuckle, and the crowd took that as the all-clear to laugh a bit as well. I took advantage of the small distraction to summon Ink Drop to my side with a quick flick of my hoof. “Find out who that is, make sure they get an invite to the garden party next month.”
“Consider it done, Princess.” he whispered his response and quietly retreated back into the castle. By the time the crowd returned its attention to me, Ink was long gone.
“This is actually a good reminder of what Remembrance Day is about. On one hoof, today is about remembering things, events, ponies, or whatever is important to us.” I looked around the crowd, making eye contact with as many parents as I could spot. “But, as this foal has reminded us, it is also about ensuring that those we remember today are not forgotten tomorrow. The youngest among us might not be able to meet their ancestors, but through the shared memories of their parents and families, may they at least know of them as they grow older, and make memories of their own.”
The toughest part of my speech was done and over with, and I still felt confident. I could feel the lump in my throat growing, but I told myself it was just my breakfast. ’Knew I shouldn’t have had that third cup of coffee.’
Right on cue, a pair of guards walked up to my side, a metal chest suspended between them in their combined magical auras. They paused only for a moment before they slowly set the chest down and opened it before me. Inside was a small cache of glistening, crystal-clear gems. They gleamed like diamonds in the sunlight, illuminating the area in a rainbow glow.
’Reminds me of the aftermath of a soni—’ I could feel both my inner science geek and inner Rarity breaking out the mental chalkboards and the tissues, respectively, but I slammed the door on them before they could sidetrack my mind… Or squeeze my heart any further. ’Slipping up in front of Ink Drop was one thing, but I can’t do it in front of everypony,’ I chided myself. ’This is an emotional day for them already; I need to be calm and supportive. I need to be their Princess.’
I took a second to compose myself, (and shift my back to relieve another itch,) before grabbing a gem in my magic and holding it up for all to see. “Many of you have seen these gems before, but for those who are here for the first time, what you see before you are memory gems. Sourced from some of the deepest caverns beneath Canterlot, it takes nearly a year of physical labor and magical enhancement to create these gems and make this celebration possible.”
A few ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ sprang up in a few places. Definitely some newcomers this year, though I suppose they were beautiful enough to elicit the same response from those returning. I let the gem shine out over the crowd for a few more moments before continuing.
“These gems are infused with a spell of my own design, but you don’t need any special runes or chants to use them. In fact, anypony can use them. Just focus on a specific memory while holding onto the gem, whether that’s in your hooves, your wings, or your magical aura. Once activated, the gem will work with your inner magic to project that memory in front of you.”
Plenty of affirmative nods, and no utterly confused faces so far. That’s good to see.
“Remember that the gems will last approximately eight hours, so whether you have one memory in mind or a dozen, make as much use of these gems as you wish. When the spell in the gems have expired, you can return them here or to city hall, where they’ll be collected, cleaned, and recycled for next year’s celebration.”
I passed the gem off to the guard on my right, who took it in his own aura without so much as a blink. “Cities across Equestria will be celebrating this day along with us, and in each town it has become tradition for somepony to come up and select the first gem. My chief of staff, Quill, chose a name randomly from the list of participants this year.” I sucked in a breath and channeled a bit of magic into my voice.
“It is my pleasure to call forth Rose Lily.”
A smattering of hoof stomps sprang up to my right, and after a few moments, I saw a young filly begin to emerge through the crowd. I smiled warmly as she made her way through the crowd and ascended the steps towards me. In truth, I was excited to see her name chosen for this year’s event. Rose Lily was a great filly, and a very talented one at that. Despite her young age, she had already shown herself adept at horticulture and keeping a market stall running smoothly. I think her great-great Grandams would be proud if they could see her now.
Rose Lily alighted at the top of the steps and bowed. I motioned for her to rise and offered her a friendly hoof bump in exchange. “Rose Lily, it is good to see you,” I waved her forward to stand next to me. “Are you and your family doing well?”
“Thank you, Princess, and yes, we are all doing well.” I could see a hint of nervousness behind her light hazel eyes, but another warm smile seemed to calm her a bit.
“Outstanding. And congratulations on being chosen to select this year’s first gem, and on only your second try, no less.” I glanced to the crowd with a playful smile. “I dare say there’s a few jealous ponies out there right now.”
A peal of laughter rolled through the crowd, causing the poor filly’s pale yellow cheeks to turn a bright pink. “Now, before we begin, would you like to tell us who you will be thinking about today?”
Rose Lily straightened her back, as if she were digging up a bit of resolve of her own. “Y-yes, I would. I…” I wrapped a wing over her back as she took a small breath, and it seemed to calm her once more. “I will be thinking of my grandparents and great-great grandparents. My mom tells me that the way our two families got together was a bit of an adventure, and I’d like to know more about that.”
‘Adventure’ was putting it mildly. With two young ponies caught between competing businesses and families, it only took a marketplace brawl, a botched elopment to Las Pegasus, and a Come to Celestia meeting with a very ticked off Princess of Friendship to finally talk some sense into them.
Hopefully, her parents give her a slightly less chaotic recollection. If not, she might get a dreadfully wrong impression of romance.
“It was quite an interesting time for sure,” I said with a sly grin. “But I think you’ll enjoy it. Now, go ahead and pick out your gem.” I stepped back a bit to give her room, and after a moment’s deliberation, Rose Lily plucked a gem from the chest and held it up in her hooves to a loud round of applause from the crowd.
“Thank you, Rose Lily, and I bid you and yours a good day.” I gave her a friendly hug and sent her back to her parents, who smiled and waved from their spot in the crowd. As she descended the steps and disappeared in a sea of ponies, I turned once more to the crowd.
“And thank you all for coming out this morning and participating. Today only happens once, and tomorrow is always an unknown, but yesterday is etched in stone.” ’Etched in stone… Just like the words on— No, not now. Today is a good day.’ I took a deep breath, hoping to play it off for dramatic effect, and continued. “May we always remember the ponies, events, and places that came before us, so those that come after us can learn from the past as we have.”
’Not a bad delivery at all,’ I thought as I heard the applause rise up from the gathered crowd. ’Didn’t even get watery eyes this year… Though that’s surely due to my insisting that Powder go easy on the mascara this time.’ The appreciative cheers began to wane, so I took my cue and spoke a final time.
“As you exit the courtyard, there will be gem stations set up on the promenade. Just give the attendant your name and you’ll be checked off the list for your gem. Use them well, and may you find what you are looking for in them. Good day to all of you, Ponyville, and thank you!”
A quick smile and a wave, and I was headed back inside the castle. The guards shut the door behind me, and I let out a deflated sigh. The day wasn’t even half over and I had already let my guard down twice. I could hear the siren call of my chambers in the back of my mind; the mere thought of what awaited me there made my heart jump and shudder at once.
But I could not give in. I had to be strong. I am a Princess, and my ponies need me out there with them, not huddled in my room like a fool.
’No,’ I told myself, ’today would still be a good day.’
And it would get a significant boost from finally relieving the incessant itching along my back. “Now, can somepony help me get out of this infernal robe?”
The Ponyville clock tower was just announcing the time as eight in the evening when I finally landed on the balcony outside of my office on the castle’s second level. Ponies like to think that national holidays are days off for their rulers too, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I spoke to more ponies and shook more hooves today than I do in an entire week of meetings and court proceedings.
Still, it was worth it, especially on a day like Remembrance Day. Between myself, my advisors, and some of the senior students in my nascent School of Magic, we had covered nearly every square inch of Ponyville answering questions about the gems, helping to activate them for those having difficulties, and generally being a presence about town.
I took time to speak with as many ponies as I could, asking them about their plans for the day and who they would be thinking about. They told me of happy memories, joyous events, and lost loved ones, and in their company I shared as many laughs as I did tears.
Ink Drop caught up with me while I was taking lunch in the newly-expanded Sugarcube Corner and got me caught up on my messages and other news from Canterlot. He also passed me the name of the foal that had cried during my speech that morning, and I made it a point to visit that particular family and say hello; if only to assure the poor mother that I would not be sending her to the moon any time soon.
Unfortunately, I had to cut my visit short when the mother - Bright Ray was her name - offered to show me around her home. Not that it was poorly kept, or anything like that. For a mother with a relatively new pegasus foal, her house was remarkably clean. No, what got me was the nursery, of all things. I must have reassured the poor mare a thousand times that I really had lost track of time, and that I really did have a meeting with my advisors to get to; that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her nursery – or with the Wonderbolt posters on the walls.
’Note to self,’ I mused while trotting toward one of the many powder rooms that were scattered around the castle, ’make sure she gets VIP tickets to that garden party.’
After freshening up, I made my way to the kitchen for a quick dinner before stopping by Ink Drop’s office, which was just down the hall from my personal study. The door was partially open, so I knocked gently before poking my head around the door.
“I thought I sent you home hours ago.”
Ink looked up from a stack of scrolls and reports, all things I’d likely have to deal with tomorrow. “Something like that, Your Highness. Actually, I was just waiting on you.”
“Oh?” I replied, arching an eyebrow inquisitively.
He set a couple of scrolls down with his magic and moved from behind his desk. “I’d be a bad seneschal - not to mention a bad friend - if I did not fret over my Princess’ well-being; particularly on a day like today.”
“And I told you before, Ink, I’m doing fine.” I tried to put my ‘Serious Princess’ face on, but it quickly faded into a flat, pensive look. “Today was a good day, Ink.”
“Indeed it was, Princess. You did better than ever, in fact. If I may be so bold, I think she’d be proud of you.” Ink gave me a reassuring smile. He really did know how to boost a princess’ confidence. ’Just like s— Oh, stars, not again—’ I tried to keep the shudder running down my back from being too obvious, all the while repeating the same line to myself. ’Remember, today was… Today.’ Now, I couldn’t even repeat my one central thought for the day, and I knew then that I couldn’t hold out much longer.
“You’re far too kind, Ink, but thank you.” I gave him a gentle nudge with a wing tip. “Now, your Princess is retiring for the night, and she does not want to see her seneschal still in his office when she wakes up.”
Ink Drop took the cue to get his things and call it a night as well. I stepped aside to let him pass, and after a quick bow, he took his leave.
Now, all I needed to do was gather up the remainder of my composure and make it past the dozen guards on the way to my chambers. Sure, I could have just teleported there and avoided all of them, but they tended to get a bit grumpy if I did that too often. I Iet out a deep breath, put on my best poker face, and began trotting down the over-sized corridor.
Thankfully, I made it past the guards and up to the top level of the castle without so much as a sniffle. I’m not sure why I insisted on staying calm in front of them; the guards knew what this day was all about, and they probably knew what it meant to me personally. Heck, they had all seen me in much worse shape than I am now, so it’s not like they’d fall into a panic at the sight of me with a box of tissues.
Or maybe I’m only fooling myself. Maybe I’m not doing as well as I said. Maybe I’m still the same emotional wreck that I was ten years ago, and I’ve really only gotten better at hiding it under layers of ceremony and pomp.
Maybe today wasn’t really a good day at all.
’Perhaps that’s it...’ I thought as I closed the door to my chambers and slumped against the surface with a defeated sigh. I hated to admit it, but I might be right. This entire thing started as a personal project, born out of nothing but grief and desperation. Even Celestia - ever the optimist - thought I was chasing a dead-end, and advised me not to pursue it.
I’d begged and pleaded for weeks for her approval, until finally I struck a bit of a deal with my old teacher. If I succeeded, I promised to develop a way for other ponies to share in my discovery; if I failed, I’d never speak of this idea again. Celestia would never admit it, but I think she only agreed to it because she assumed that this was one problem that was simply unsolvable.
But then I did it. The spell was quick to burn out and the rune pattern took months to recharge, but for the first time ever, memories could be projected in front of a pony. Smells, sights, feelings, and everything in between. If a pony could remember it, they could see it again.
I could see her again.
And so, Remembrance Day was born.
After some initial skepticism, ponies took to the idea very well, and on the whole, the thousands of gems that are used every year by ponies young and old have done a great deal to preserve the history of ponykind for this and future generations.
Call it selfish of me, but if the only gem that ever worked was the prototype that was staring at me from a shelf on the other side of the room, I’d be perfectly okay with that. After all, everypony else will get to see their ancestors and their loved ones again, gems or not.
I, however, would have no such luxury.
After a quick stop in the bathroom to brush my mane and teeth, I floated my tiara over to its case and extinguished the lights one by one as I crossed the room and slipped underneath the heavy blankets. A final burst of magic brought the first gem ever produced – my gem – from its perch on the shelf and gently placed it on the nightstand on the far side of the bed.
I fidgeted under the covers until I was comfortable, with my head resting on my pillow and my eyes gazing over to perhaps the most precious thing I owned. “Ponyville had an entire day to remember whatever they wanted,” I whispered to the freshly-charged gem as if it could hear me. “Now it’s my turn.”
I closed my eyes and shuffled through decades of memories. My mind sifted through millions of individual moments, but my heart already knew which moment it would choose; and it ached over the torture I was about to put myself through. After tonight, my dreams would haunt me for weeks; I’d be a nearly broken, helpless mess, unable to do much beyond cry and sleep for at least three days.
Celestia and Luna were right… I shouldn’t do it again. Heck, I shouldn’t have done it last year, or the eight years before that. But what other memory could I choose? It’s so painful, yet it feels so good, so right.
I grit my teeth and tried to focus on something, anything else. But my gaze landed on the empty pillow next to me and I broke like a twig. Celestia help me it hurt so much already, but I had to do it. Every mental barrier I had came down at once, and as my magic reached into the gem and activated its rune pattern, the raw emotions of an immortal princess welcomed the spell with open hooves.
A familiar blast of warmth flowed through me, and I knew it was working. Any second now, I’d hear her, feel her, touch her.
“Heya, Twi.”
Ah, there was that voice I loved so much. Cocky, confident, yet so fragile when unguarded. In that moment, the pain in my heart gave way to unfiltered joy; a pure sense of happiness that only one pony in history could ever give me. The ache, the sobs, the nightmares, the bitter regrets, they would all come. But not now. Not tonight.
Finally, today would really be a good day.
“Hey yourself.” I choked out the words through a half-sob. I opened my eyes, and there she was. Rainbow Dash.
My Dashie.
She was lying next to me, under the covers. Exactly where I remembered her to be. After all, this was my memory, I should know best where ponies were and how things happened.
Especially when you’re remembering the night you made love to your wife for the first time.
It had been a year after my coronation when Rainbow asked my permission to court me. I gladly admit to having feelings for her over the years, but I had always shied away, not wanting to risk our friendship for the chance of romance. But somehow, I knew it was going to work out.
And work out it did. Six months in, I was tempted to take a page from the flower families’ book and elope to Las Pegasus myself, but for the only time in her life, Rainbow insisted on doing things the old-fashioned way. She followed every single part of the ancient pegasus courting rituals, not because I was a Princess, but because she thought I was worth it.
She even schemed enough to get my parents in the same room as Celestia so she could ask all of them for my hoof in marriage. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the phantom pegasus next to me as I remembered their collective response to her request: ‘Took you long enough’.
It was a ceremony for the ages, done in both ancient pegasus and unicorn traditions. And after the party had finally wrapped up, we were alone. Not as a alicorn and a pegasus, not as a princess and a soon-to-be Wonderbolt, but as two mares hopelessly in love and ready for a life together.
“That really happened, didn’t it?” I asked softly as I lifted a wing to let Rainbow slide over toward me.
“Which part? The one with Pinkie turning the wedding cake into a mobile fireworks platform? Or-” she leaned in and caught me with a warm, tender kiss, “...was it the part where I got to marry my best friend in front of our families, our closest friends, and half of Equestria?”
Oh, those lips… if I wasn’t so bad at writing poems, I’d have written one just to describe how they felt against me. Smoother than silk, and so full of passion, caring, and all of those ‘softy’ emotions that Rainbow never let out in public. I never did deliver a kiss quite like hers, though that never stopped me from trying.
“Mmm, you’re too good, you know that?” I whispered between panted breaths and more kisses. “I’m surprised you waited until the third date to steal a kiss from me.”
Rainbow’s hoof ran along the side of my muzzle and brought her gaze to mine. “Some things are just worth waiting for.” She leaned in close and whispered in my ear. “And for you, Twilight, I’d have waited forever.”
Just like I expected, I felt a tear fall down my cheek and onto my– er, her hoof. Back then, that was the only tear I shed that night. Rainbow was never one for sheer eloquence, but those words burned themselves into my soul like nothing else ever had, or ever will. The cold tear that now stung my hoof felt like a drop of pure sunshine when it had touched her soft fur.
If there was any part of me still screaming for me to stop, to end the pain before it started, I couldn’t hear it over the sound of my heart as it joyfully raced towards its own destruction. I looked deep into Rainbow’s beautiful eyes, and in their reflection I saw both a paper-thin princess clinging desperately to a ghost… And a newlywed that was desperate for her soulmate.
I wrapped my own wings around Rainbow, rolled onto my back, and stared up at her.
“Take me, Rainbow.”
The words left my mouth and my heart raced over the cliff’s edge. I could almost feel it breaking inside of me as it began its terminal descent into oblivion, but all my body, all my soul could care about now was the echoes of utter joy that were moments away from ripping through my veins.
An instant later our bodies met like two stars crashing together, and just as ponies across Equestria had done over the course of the day, I remembered.
The smoldering touch of her lips against mine, the feeling of her mane draped over my face as my hooves roamed freely through her wings, the beating of our hearts as we poured ourselves out to each other… It was all there, like it was all happening for the first time. In a way, perhaps it was.
Or maybe my mind was just that delusional when I let my logical walls down. But as I felt my hoof – Rainbow’s hoof – slide beneath the blankets, I jettisoned the question in favor of the first of countless moans that she drew from me that night.
I knew that we would exhaust our bodies and fall asleep in each other’s embrace long before the gem’s spell ran out. But I also knew that when I woke up, my hooves would be empty once again, and I would have to wait another year before I could relive any part of the best years of my life.
As my mind began to unravel around me, I wondered if tomorrow would feel any less hollow than it did last year, or the many years before that. I wondered how much longer I could survive as a pretty mask surrounding a broken, depleted soul, or how many more years I could spend drowning in a sea of my own sorrow, waiting desperately for this gem to make me feel alive again for just one night.
Tomorrow would be utterly horrible for me. So too would the days and weeks to come. But as the first of many tidal waves of ecstasy washed through me, I lost myself completely to my memories, and to the only thought that mattered to me at that moment.
The same thought I kept telling myself over and over again.
’Today was a good day.’
