Chapter 82: Somepony to Watch Over Me

Hello everypony, it is your Supreme Overlord Celestia again and do I have a surprise for you! You've all paid your taxes, you haven't badmouthed me and I was named "Pony of the Year" by this human magazine known as Time! Because of all this, I shall share with you my synopsis of "Somepony to Watch Over Me."

It is early morning and I can sense that something is going on at Sweet Apple Acres but there is one problem, I can't see what's going on in their house! I have to give you my synopsis so I will do my usual invisibility and teleport spell so I can see and hear everything. Ok, now for what is going on. Some sort of meeting is going on between Applejack, Big Mac and Granny Smith while the Filly Illuminati are out waiting. Now what could be going on? Hopefully they are discussing a way in which they can get those girls no know not to try to overthrow the government.

Well unfortunately that's not it but instead it sounds like they are going to leave Apple Bloom home alone while they go out and make pie deliveries. What, are they nuts? They're going to just leave her alone so she and her friends can make evil plans like all other secret societies do? Oh thank goodness, she has to do the chores so that will keep her occupied for a while, disaster averted! I just love the girls' reaction to the news that they're leaving Apple Bloom home alone. Yeah they're excited but they manage to keep their composure. This should be an interesting day so I think I'll just hang around the farm today. Don't tell Luna though, you know how she gets when I come down here without her.

Alright, now they are getting ready to leave town and while Big Mac and Granny seem perfectly confident that Apple Bloom can do this, Applejack does not. I know she loves her little sister but come on, she will be fine. Look at Scootaloo, she is always roaming around free. Hell I don't even know who here parents are and despite always monitoring everything, I wonder if she even has a home. For all I know she could either be an orphan who lives in the Everfree Forest or just sleeps in a different place every night. I swear, one of these days I'm going to find out. I do not like seeing such a young filly being alone like that all the time.

Well it looks like the adult Apples are leaving and now I must make a decision. Do I stay here and keep an eye on Apple Bloom or do I follow Applejack? I have a feeling I better stay here in the event that she finishes her chores early. I certainly don't want her calling her friends over to plot a coup attempt. If she does, I don't care what anypony thinks, they're going to Tartarus.

Well everything seems to be going along normally, Apple Bloom is doing her chores like a good filly and I'm guessing the other two are out doing something stupid to try and get their cutie marks. Now Apple Bloom has her chores done and she can make all the decisions! Why is it that I have a feeling that this will wind up in some sort of disaster. Good grief filly, you want to stand on the table and talk to yourself? Yeah I think it is stupid but at least she isn't plotting to overthrow me.

What the hay? Applejack has come back and Apple Bloom trips and knocks the table over! Now Applejack has realized that leaving her sister home alone was likely a mistake. Now Applejack has realized this and despite needing to make a pie delivery, she will stay at home, make sure her little sister doesn't do anything else stupid and I have a feeling that plenty of funny moments will ensue. It is just a matter of me not making so much noise laughing I give away my presence.

It is time for more chores but what Applejack has done will make the first one impossible. Seriously Applejack, a pillow on the end of a rake? Sorry but that isn't going to help in getting anything done, well except piss off Apple Bloom. Now comes the helmet and apple bucking. Good grief, nets in the trees and yet another helmet on Apple Bloom? Now the next moment is an epic screw up on the part of the writers. Apple Bloom is pushing this miniature wheel barrow full of apples but suddenly the damn thing has training wheels? I know Applejack can get things done in a hurry but how would she do it without being seen? To do that it would require magic and I certainly didn't do it nor did anypony else, well that I know of anyway.

Apple Bloom has had it, she is sick of Applejack babying her but things are only going to get worse. Somehow she has managed to baby proof everything in the house. When did she have the time to do this? Ok, I know this is a cartoon so anything can happen but seriously, I think this is going a bit excessive and now Apple Bloom has two helmets. You all know I respect Applejack the most out of the element bearers but I think she is going way too far here. I don't blame Apple Bloom for being pissed, I would be too had Mother ever done that to me.

Poor poor Apple Bloom, now she has been put in a crib and her friends are over to console her. Yes I'm not thrilled that those three are being left alone together but at least with Apple Bloom in a crib, she can't take part in a bloody coup, Applejack will see to that. Now here they are scheming, scheming on a way to make Applejack see that her little sister isn't a baby who must be coddled at all times. Personally I hope it fails so that the secret society will collapse. Hey, if one of them is basically imprisoned by her older sister, she can't aid in its evil causes.

Now for the plan, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are going to put on bows and try to make it look like Apple Bloom is back in her crib while she makes that pie delivery. Oh great, now I'm going to have to make a decision again. Do I hang around here to see what happens or do I follow Apple Bloom? Wait, I got it! I'll hang around here until Applejack freaks out and then teleport myself out to Apple Bloom when the time is right.

Ok, Apple Bloom has headed off to make her delivery and Applejack is checking on "Apple Bloom" constantly, seeing if she wants something. Applejack, she isn't answering you so she is obviously asleep, or at least pretending to be. Ugh, waiting around in this dark bedroom is so boring. Ooh, I better be quiet, here comes Applejack!

Ok, get this, there she is standing over the crib while Sweetie Belle sleeps. I would think she would notice that Sweetie Belle is in the crib but in that low of light, that isn't the case. Yep Applejack, you're right. You don't need to baby your little sister the way you are. Real smart Scootaloo, Applejack says this then you yell how happy your friend would be to hear that? Now Applejack discovers that Apple Bloom isn't there and is having an epic freak out and discovers that her sister headed out to make the pie delivery. Now it is time for me to go and follow Apple Bloom! Hey, you need to know what she's doing too.

Alright, the path to this place the pies are being delivered to is incredibly dangerous. I don't know why Applejack would take a path like this. Ok, so it is likely the quickest route but I don't think saving a few minutes is worth putting up with flame geysers. Now one has incinerated the map but that is going to be the least of Apple Bloom's problems as something really bad is coming after her.

What the hell is that thing? A head of a tiger, a head of a goat and a literal snake tail? You know, I feel incredibly stupid not knowing what kind of creatures reside within my realm. This is almost as bad as me not knowing about the hydra but hey, at least this thing isn't so big that not missing it would be impossible. Now for what is interesting, each head on this thing can speak and from the way it sounds, it sounds like the tiger is a male while the snake and the goat are females. Yet the way those heads talk, it sounds like all three of them are female.

Ok, so this thing apparently likes apple pie. Ok, so Apple Bloom should be able to escape. She can just give it a few pies to satisfy its appetite and go on her way but oh no, that would make way too much sense. She has decided that she is going to try to be a big shot and get through the swamp without feeding this thing. This is proof that she isn't very bright. If I were in her situation, I would have swallowed my pride and gave it a couple so it wouldn't want to eat me.

The thing pounces and misses Apple Bloom but I don't see her getting far and naturally she doesn't! She slips out of the harness she used to pull that cart and now it looks like she is going to be monster food. Poor Apple Bloom and poor Applejack. I know it is going to take a great amount of consoling to make the Apple Family feel better and chances are that Luna will be the only one that will be able to help them heal from this. Chances are though that they won't be using this route for any future deliveries either.

Just as it looks like Apple Bloom is going to get eaten, Applejack comes to the rescue. I knew she would eventually come out looking for her but for just a moment I honestly thought Apple Bloom was going to die. Would I have intervened though? While I may talk like I would have just let her die to end the Filly Illuminati, yes I would have saved her. Back to Applejack's arrival though, I have a feeling she has dealt with this thing before because she knew exactly how to handle it.

Now I know why she was asking Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo if she wore flame proof boots, took a snake charming flute, brought a lion tamer's chair and brought a hunk of ricotta because apparently that thing, well the goat head anyway, likes it. You see Applejack, your sister actually got the pies this far and didn't fall prey to that monster so you don't have to baby her.

Well they finally get the pies delivered to this extremely remote town, a town that I didn't even know existed. While I am still invisible, I decided to snoop around with nopony noticing. Somehow a community has managed to exist in Equestria for ages without me knowing about it. It seems like they have almost no contact with the outside world, well with the exception of the Apples. Now I wonder how the hell they paid them because it looks like they don't use currency out here. Well as it turns out one of those ponies makes a great salt water casserole that the Apples really like.

Now this is very upsetting because these ponies get away without paying any taxes and sadly, I can't force them to pay any! I can't force them to because they don't use money. Their transaction with the Apples is using the ancient barter system, the system that was used in a long forgotten era that existed prior to the arrival of my sister and I. Am I going to force them to join the modern world? No, I will not. I will just let them continue to live in this commune style. As long as they aren't causing any problems or engaging in monetary transactions, everything will be fine.

Now I must be returning home. I am extremely hungry and I'm sure Luna is wondering where I am. Oh, I just realized something. This is probably the only kid friendly synopsis I've ever done because not only did my mind not wander into the gutter, I didn't swear or call anypony any bad names, not even once! You should be quite proud of me for being so well behaved this time! Don't worry though, come next time I'll be back to my normal self!