Loneliness in Yellow Spades

by Lord Sylus of Night

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Rarity, Fluttershy
Length: 3120

Even though she is surrounded by friends, Fluttershy cannot shake the feeling of loneliness. She doesn't want anymore friends she has plenty of those. She just wants somepony to hold her tight and tell her that she is valued.

Fluttershy is not as happy as some ponies would expect.

She does not sing the way that she used to when she was busy working. She does not light the room with her sheepish smile. She no longer has happiness that she once had. When she's around her friends, she puts up a facade of being okay. When asked if she is alright she answers, "I'm doing fine."

Why was she feeling like this?

But if there is one thing that she thinks can make her feel better, it's the warming embrace of somepony who cares about her. And there is only one pony that she has had her eye on for a long time. Rarity. Fluttershy is just unsure of what Rarity might think of her. But one thing is for certain,

She can't live life like this for much longer.

Published 2015-02-21 17:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-21 17:20:02 UTC

Moments Like These

"I have enjoyed myself immensely darling, as always. Same time next week?" Asked the jubilacious and softly accented voice belonging to Rarity. A good friend and an even greater dress designer. A white unicorn absolutely beaming with pure beauty and an air of nobility around her. Her mane and tail styled in a swirly pattern that must take twenty minutes alone, her makeup that she does not wear as a mask but as a way to amplify the beauty that is already there, and her toned skin and well groomed pure alabaster coat. Every scale inch of her was perfect, a gem to modern pony society. It has shocked Fluttershy that she has not been noticed by some big and up and coming pony just raring to have some new and powerful face for the public to write about.

Of course that would imply that she would never be able to see Fluttershy or her other friends for that matter. She dreaded that thought each and every night. Dreading that somepony will come by and sweep her away, giving no care to her deep feelings for the beautiful fashionista that was standing before her now with her head cocked to the side awaiting an answer from probably the shyest pony in all of Ponyville. She was so conflicted when around Rarity. She felt like hiding away somewhere and never to come out, like it was a cardinal sin for the mare of her dreams to look at her. Like she was not worthy for Rarity's presence. And she felt like opening her heart right then and there before Rarity and the world. But it took courage to do something like that, courage that she did not have.

Fluttershy looked at one of her longest lasting friends since her fillyhood besides Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy was somewhat comfortable around Rarity, greatly considering that they would be around each other for a long time. She valued the friendship she has with Rarity, as her name tells any pony. She is a rarity to behold.

Fluttershy swept a strand of her mane out of her face, allowing another inch of her face to be seen from the mare opposite of her. She patiently stood there with a warm and inviting stance and a smile upon her face. Fluttershy answered in a voice that was quiet and not very happy, "Sure...yeah...that's fine."

The yellow pegasus darted her eyes back to Rarity and saw the concerned look on her face. Rarity stepped closer to Fluttershy and rested a friendly hoof on her shoulder and asked in a voice that could sooth an irritable filly, "Darling are you alright? You don't seem like yourself, is there something I can do to help?"

Fluttershy could not physically look at Rarity. It was not within her power or her courage to do so. If she did she would not be able to speak. She said in her mind, 'If only I could tell you Rarity. If only I had the courage to tell you.' She kept her gaze averted and answered in the same toned voice as before, "It's...it's fine...I just...need some time to think alone...that's all."

When Rarity touched her it was like her warm touch alone soothed the emptiness she felt inside. The loneliness that has been growing so large that she could not even begin to understand how it started. But only recently has it spiked to this point. She had friends to help her. She had family. What was wrong? Why was she feeling like this? Was it the byproduct of her crush on Rarity? Was it because she has never really had some pony so close to her? But if there was one thing that she knew, it was that the simplest touch from Rarity and she absorbed the warmth of her hoof.

But as quickly that it came it was gone. And so to was her happiness that she briefly felt when Rarity touched her. Fluttershy looked shortly at Rarity and saw her concerned look was gone, somewhat. She seemed unconvinced that she was fine. Rarity answered stepping slightly away, "Alright...remember that I am always here to talk if you need anything. Au revoir darling."

Fluttershy watched as the mare of her dreams was sauntering away. The way that she walked even was graceful beyond comprehension. But now she really did feel alone. When Rarity was gone and out of ear shot and sight, Fluttershy felt a sigh escape her. She heard distantly the crack and rip of thunder across the sky. And just like that it had begun to rain, slowly at first but steadily increased as the storm raged on. Fluttershy stood there for a moment and looked down cast. Raindrops rippling as they hit the ground out of her field of vision. In a large puddle that had already collected she saw her reflection. She saw a yellow coated and pink maned pegasus with weight that showed on her shoulders and her face. Dull and insignificant to anypony else. Fluttershy saw her sadness increase and she imagined the mirror image ripple away and she imagined Rarity there and she said in a lowered and sad tone, "I love you Rarity."

With one last look she stared at the fading image of Rarity disappear. She turned and as she did she felt her heart tug against her chest. She swallowed back a lump in her throat as she stopped and looked back at where they had talked and she whispered to herself with hurt in her words and her very soul, "I wish you could know the truth..."

Her voice trailed off as she closed her eyes and heard the sound of Rarity laughing in her mind, the rising and falling octaves of her voice sending waves of warmth through her. But the warmth did not last. And once more she felt lonely. She hung her head and with closed eyes she slumped on through the rain. Unknown to her sadness and trudging through grey bleak skies. No happiness, knowing that her mare of her dreams was gone away. Another week before she would see her again.

Rarity lucked out. The storm started as she stepped on the porch of her home. Carousel Boutique. Soft wood under her hooves as she knew them to be the wood before she entered her home. She looked up and saw the dark burgundy colored oak door. She drew closer to the door before she stopped abruptly. Playing over and over again in her mind was that scene of seeing Fluttershy so sad. She looked as though she had trudged through hell itself. It was not healthy.

She found no comfort knowing that she told her that she was fine. She found no comfort in knowing that one of her best friends was feeling sad. Was it something she did? Was it something else? Did one of her animals die? So many questions flooded through her at once she could not focus on one. She turned her head to the place where she knew Fluttershy's cottage was. At the very edge of Ponyville itself. Rarity bit her lower lip and she said to herself, "Celestia be damned of I let one of my friends be consumed by unhappiness. I have to help."

With no conscious thought given she leapt out and galloped through the muddy streets of Ponyville, bounding for Fluttershy's cottage. Paying no mind to the amount of water that was beating down on her. Paying no attention to her mane that was now being ruined in the rain. She did not care about that, her friend was in trouble somehow and she was not going to allow is to consume her. If she did, then what friend would she be in the first place?

Rarity rounded a corner, her muscles tensing as she galloped hard through the rain. Barreling through mud, kicking it up onto her coat and slightly on her neck and face. She did not care about anything other than going to help her friend, nothing was more important. Fluttershy was like a sister to Rarity, perhaps a mare even more than that. Rarity kept back tears as she feared of what state Fluttershy might be in when she finds her friend. She only hopes to the Princesses themselves that she is not too late. Rarity ripped through the air and dodged past barrels along the road and she said choking back fear and dread, "I'm coming Fluttershy. I'm coming."

Fluttershy slowly rose through the air, the cold rushing wind crashing against her. This feeling of loneliness was too much. She could not figure out the source of it and get rid of it. It made her angry and made her frustrated that she can't control that feeling. That she can't be rid of it so she can enjoy a long happy life with her friends. Fluttershy always that that in her hour of need she would have the support of her friends, that through anything they'd be able to live long lives. But that was not true for Fluttershy. She could not continue her life knowing that there was this feeling of seclusion and unhappiness.

She sputtered and let loos tears from her eyes, like she had done when she had set out to do something she never thought she would catch herself doing. Her tears blended in perfectly and seamlessly with the rain. Her soul crushed, if only she was strong enough to talk about this with somepony. If only she was strong enough to talk about this with the pony she valued the most. If only she was strong. The feeling of rain became numb as she stopped in the air and just hovered. Gently flapping her wings as she cried letting her tears rain down from the sky. The cold piercing wind slicing through her like razor blades. She opened her hooves and simply stopped flapping her wings, letting go of everything.

Why was life worth living if she felt like this? The wind briskly moving passed her as she fell through the sky. Like a raindrop she would fall, and leave without any trace.

Fear encompassed Rarity as she ripped through Fluttershy's and found no traces of her. Her mane was officially watered down and her breaths ragged from her galloping. Her coat stained with mud and smelled wretched, but she did not care. What cared to her now was trying to find Fluttershy. Rarity barreled to the fields just outside of Ponyville, pale emerald hills dotting in the distance. She raced through the hills her voice screeching over the winds, "FLUTTERSHY!...FLUTTERSHY!"

Her yells became more desperate as she continued to find no trace of her friend. She refused to give up, she refused to allow her friend to be missing. Rarity could not let one of her friends be consumed by dark feelings. Rarity could feel the lonely feelings Fluttershy was radiating off of her. If there was one thing in all of Equestria that hurt Rarity the most, it was seeing a friend hurt. Rarity raced through the hills once more and called out, "Fluttershy! Where are you!?"

Doubt and desperation filled her. She simply stopped as dread and fear overtook her. It had become clear to her now that her friend was gone, feeling the cold drops o the rain pierce through the air and sting her as she felt the failure to help a friend. Lost with sadness, she lied on her belly in defeat. Tears formed in her eyes, she was too late. She was not fast enough. If only she refused Fluttershy's false words of comfort. If only she could talk to and see Fluttershy one more time she would give her soul away to fix everything that was wrong with Fluttershy so she could see that sheepish grin one more time. That smile that could light up an entire room, she was so oblivious to the way that she could lighten an entire atmosphere of a room.

Before she let her tears loos she felt something odd hit her cheek. It was warm, and heavy. It felt like a raindrop but it was not. Rarity fluttered her eyes opened and touched the strange drop with her hoof. She looked at the little streak of water and looked up, her heart stopping as she saw a sight she hoped to never see.

Falling from the sky was a yellow pony, Fluttershy. Rarity said with great sorrow in her words, "No..."

Rarity stood up and raced a few feet away, keeping her eyes on Fluttershy as she raced down to impact on the ground. Rarity waited patiently. Once it became time Rarity galloped over and leapt through the air, praying to Celestia above that she would not miss her friend. She closed her eyes tight as she caught the yellow pegasus in her hooves and they collided together. Rarity was relieved that she caught her friend but that victory was short lived as the tumbled down the hill and rolling and colliding with each other.

Once they were brought to a stop Rarity tried to come back to reality but held Fluttershy in her hooves. Rarity opened her eyes letting loose the tears she tried to hold in. They were both laying on their sides and Rarity said with shaken words and her lip quivering, "Please do not ever do something like that again...I...I...could not live with myself if I learned something awful happened to you...please...please..."

Her words were lost as she pulled Fluttershy in tighter, letting the heat of their bodies collide and their coats to be stained with their tears. They were both trembling in each other's hooves. No words were shared initially, just letting their tears out. Rarity's make up running down her face. She wiped it away and continued to warmly embrace Fluttershy. Rarity had stopped her crying but Fluttershy continued hers. Rarity combed her hoof in Fluttershy's mane and said, "Shh...it's okay darling...I'm here."

The rain seemed to stop but the two ponies continued to embrace each other. Fluttershy cried for what seemed like hours, letting all of her tears out until she had no more tears left. Not willing to face Rarity after what she had seen. Fluttershy choked out with a ragged breath, "I...I'm so...I'm so sorry...I should have...I should have told you sooner."

Rarity pushed Fluttershy away slightly looking into her red puffy eyes, freshly stained with tears. Rarity said looking into her large blue eyes. Rarity took her hoof and swept away all of the mane that she used as a curtain to hide herself. Fully revealing a beautiful mare underneath. Rarity said controlling her breathing, "None of that matters now. What matters now is letting everything out. I am here and I always will be here."

Fluttershy stared long into Rarity's bright blue eyes. Pools of pure azure beauty, even though they were just as red and just as puffy as her own. Her make up was gone. Eyeliner, smoky eye. It was all gone, washed away with her tears. It was clear to her now that Rarity was hurt just as much as she was. She had seen Rarity's devotion to her friends before. She had seen first hand her generosity and the extent of which was longer than of Fluttershy's own.

She could stare at Rarity's eyes for an eternity if given the opportunity. She was lost in the trap she tried to avoid an hour ago. Lost in her eyes and she could not get herself out of it. She opened her mouth to answer Rarity but found no words. Fluttershy could feel her starry gaze stare deep within her soul, glistening with happiness knowing that her friend is okay.

It was in that moment that she let all of her emotions wash away. No more pain. No more sadness. No more depression. And especially no more loneliness. Every breath now was a breath of a new life in her eyes, and one that she want to spend the entirety of it with the mare in her hooves now. She felt the warmth of the mare in her hooves, the same friendly hearth like warmth she naturally radiated. She nestled herself more comfortably in Rarity's hooves and with a slight smile she leaned in and gently pressed her lips on Rarity's bright red lips.

Fluttershy closed her eyes as their warm breaths cascaded over each other. Rarity moved her hoof to Fluttershy's cheek. She felt healed, of all of her problems. Melted away with the mare that she was now kissing. A moment in time that she will never forget. After a few long seconds Fluttershy pulled herself away and said resting her head against Rarity's, "I love you Rarity...I have always felt like this. There was not a day that went on that I did not think about you. Every moment that we share together is one that I will never forget for as long as I live. I never want to lose you."

Fluttershy opened her eyes, seeing a warm and starry gazed Rarity return the feelings Fluttershy vocally shared. Rarity petted her hoof over Fluttershy's cheek as she replied, "And you never will lose me darling."

Rarity leaned back in and pecked Fluttershy on the lips. Rarity said, "Please just always know that I am here to talk to. Always."

Fluttershy gave a warm sheepish grin and responded, "I will."

For the first time in a long time Fluttershy felt weightless. Letting go of everything. Like a raindrop she would fall, but gather in a larger pool of life. Learning to live again. Fluttershy nestled herself closer in Rarity and let that aura of hers drift her off to sleep. And as she did so, the storm had stopped.

Author's Note

I always thought that these two would be so cute together. They have so much in common it would be blasphemous to not want them shipped together. Rarishy. You'd think with the amount of time they share together on screen they would be a couple. But, I digress it is a kid's show.

I hope you guys like this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Took me only a few hours to write but I am very proud of it. Expect more stories like this in the future. Not with these two specifically, but more stories like this. No promises that they will be as sad as this one. Who knows, I will probably write one with Twilight. We'll see how everything goes:pinkiecrazy:.

Have a splendid day and see you all later:scootangel:
~Sylus~