Narcissism Makes Great Comedy

by Hot Blooded Hero

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Romance, Original Character, Spike, Comedy, Adventure, Slice of Life
Length: 6880

Ever go to another dimension and meet yourself? I did.

So, there's this one universe, filled with rainbows and sunshine and ponies. You know that one, right? Well, about two dimensions to the left was this other universe with just about the same stuff, plus a few other things. One of those few other things being me, and another being a pony me. And no, we didn't screw... much.

(All of those downvotes are from before the rewrite. And it truly was awful. Trust me when I say it's much better now.)

Published 2012-05-07 22:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-05 07:06:03 UTC

Act 1: A Prologue of Biographical Intentions (REDONE)

A Prologue of Biographical Intentions

A/N: I chose to redo this chapter and the next because I knew they were mediocre since I rushed them. I didn't even give myself enough sufficient time to come up with a legit plot. Well, now I have one. So enjoy the early re-write.

Who would’ve thought that something like this could happen to someone as least deserving as me? I would’ve been the last person to suspect this to happen to. I mean, sure I meant well, but didn’t do horse-apples to gain such a privilege like this. I was lazy, a slob, and sometimes, unknowingly self-centered. I could’ve done more with my life before this happened.

Maybe I’m over thinking this. I should be grateful for being one out of billions, no trillions, no endless vast seas of individuals from throughout the multi-verse to have this happen to. As a younger child I used to think that my life would have some sort of meaning to it. It sort of amazed people at how philosophical I was at my age. I always asked those big questions: Why is the first person camera from my point of view? Am I the main character? Do I serve some sort of bigger purpose than this mundane life I have? Those kinds of questions.

Over the years however, those questions dissipated along with all traces of innocence with a help of a few friends, daily news, and the internet. Funny thing, the Internet. “The best source of information accessible to mankind is also the worst,” my Honors English teacher always used to say. Wikipedia and Youtube, countered by websites such as 4chan and Youtube (and I did mean to put that in twice).

The internet is also credited to how I got here. Well, sure it was my knowledge, but it was knowledge I‘ve gained from spending countless hours ‘wasting my life.’ In fact, if I didn’t spend so much time doing what I did, I’d probably end up dead several times over in more ways than one in many lands that I would’ve had no knowledge about. Thank …God? Celestia? The Astral Entities? Bah! I’m not even sure what to believe in after all of the crap I’ve seen.

Wait, what was I talking about again? You know what? Buck it. Let’s just start with me when I was fifteen. As I said, I was a fat, lazy slob who was a bit narcissistic, but it was only coupled with humor to counter-act my friends’ constant ripping and trolling as well as hide a bit of my pessimistic, and even more philosophical attitude towards the way humanity acts, which I used to see examples of on a daily basis.

I lived in a joint-town of Independence and Monmouth, or as I’ve heard several people joke, IndeMouth. Even though this was a joint-town with a semi-major college, it was still notably smaller than any surrounding cities located in Oregon. They also took pride in their impressive high school, generically named Central. I went there for my freshman year just before the incident.

Heh, funny fact: I played trumpet for their Concert band, and had just passed the auditions for Symphonic and Jazz. I was excited to be able to play much more challenging songs at more respectable venues. But I remembered the quote that I chose earlier that year from the classic Romeo and Juliet:

“O, I am Fortune’s fool!”

It was June. 2012 to be exact.

School was finally done for the year.

Woot for me. I was struggling in schoolwork for the last few weeks, but I was able to catch up before any due dates. Then I was home free.

The bus had dropped me off on the side of the country dirt road, next to my street, and drove off leaving a large cloud of dust lingering in the air. I coughed through the offending particles and started my walk home up the hill that my road went up.

The shining imitation of Celestia’s work was beating down hard on Oregon’s fertile land, providing the necessary nutrients for the nearby farms’ crops and the local lawn gardens to grow. Flowers often bloomed on the side of my road, giving off beautiful colors and sweet smells that I very much savored on this walk home. I didn’t even regret bringing my mp3, because the sound of the birds chirping and the slight breeze rustling the tree branches above.

Then I realized something: Why haven’t I noticed this beauty before? This nature was here yesterday, yet I had never acknowledged just how stunning it was before today. Maybe the stress at school clouded my mind, and the relief of summer had cleared it.

I was deep into this thought when I realized that I had almost passed my house. I backtracked a few steps and got the mail. That’s when the coming home ritual would start. Check on the animals’ food, unlock the door to the empty house, make sure the house is empty, then log on.

As much as I’d like to stay out here and enjoy this day, the sun’s a bit too hot for my preference. Plus, Ponies.

If you’ve just figured out by now that I’m a brony, then you win nothing. I mean, hey, you read the description. Also, look at your address bar.

The house should always be empty at this time because everyone else had stuff to do. It’s not like I didn’t have friends or anything, it was just that my friends had other stuff to do that involved either family or things I had no ability to do.

My brothers, however always had something with friends at this time, but it was usually something stupid like “exercise” or “physical activity” or some other nonsense of the sort.

My mom always went out to do an errand, like searching through estate sales for something for the garden or the house, and wouldn’t be back ‘til at least 5.

My dad was always in Alaska for half the year, working hard to keep us at a steady income with his self-employed business. He wasn’t usually gone for very long though and was coming back sometime that month.

As I walked to my bedroom to put my backpack away, I looked at my appearance in the mirror on the hallway-splitting door.

I was 5’4”, which I knew was a bit short for my age compared everyone else I knew. My eyes and skin depicted my Asian/Pacific-Islander heritage that is Filipino. I had long, messy, slightly greasy, very close to black, brown hair that almost completely covered my dark brown eyes. My face showed signs of facial hair already with a small, thin mustache, some slightly distinguishable sideburns, and a premature beard starting to grow. I was a bit overweight, and my clothes did nothing to cover it up. I usually wore a zip-up, black, semi-formal jacket with the sleeves rolled up, a dark red Nike t-shirt underneath, and dark blue Air-Nike shorts.

I sighed at the image. With that sigh, I could tell anyone that I disapproved of my look. Sure, I looked decent, but I’m pretty sure that could’ve looked better without the excess fat. I just never found motivation to try and lose it though.

I unceremoniously dropped the backpack in my room and headed for the media room to connect online.

I became a brony very early that year, while we were at a casino resort at Grand Ronde during New Year‘s. I was using the hotel’s complimentary wi-fi when I had come across a few pony related videos. I remembered that two of my friends were bronies themselves, so I figured that something with a large following on the internet had to be good, right? So I watched a few episodes and was addicted. The rest of that trip was spent in that room, downloading as many episodes I could get off of Youtube.

I could only get six episodes downloaded before we left for home, and at the time, I still had dial-up. My friend however agreed to download and get me episodes using a flash drive. He also got me into fan fiction with a copy of My Little Dashie, and into brony music with a few tracks by Alex S. and The Living Tombstone.

Most bronies I had met said that I wasn’t a true brony until I had a decided on my favorite pony. Just to shut them up, I said that my favorite was Rainbow Dash (yes, I know, cliché), but the truth is that I’m tied between her and Twilight. I think they both represent the two sides of my mind: a thrill-seeking boaster, and a knowledgeable perfectionist.

It was nothing but blissful piece as I watched, read, and listened to nothing but Pony content for the next 5 hours. It was then that I realized that I watched, read, and listened to nothing but Pony content for 5 hours without anything stopping me. I looked to the taskbar’s clock and it read 9:06 PM. Were they late or something? Maybe Mom just had to stay in Salem a little longer and they should be home soon.

Just then, a dim light shone into the dark media room from the window.

Oh, they were just late.

I clicked out of whatever I was in and looked out the window. I saw the light, but it was distant and I couldn’t see exactly what it was coming from. Soon, the light seemed to be getting brighter and an odd whirring noise was slowly fading in.

I squinted as both the light and the noise were getting brighter and louder. It wasn’t until it was too late that I realized that the light and noise weren’t getting bigger.

They were getting closer.

They were getting closer fast.

Is that a... blue box?!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!”

*CRASH*

The Protagonist Has Made Contact (COMPLETELY REDONE)

The Protagonist Has Made Contact

“Nnnguah!” I woke up with a jolt and sat straight up. It was still night, and the moon was shining brightly among a field of stars. The ground was hard and cold, yet the air was warm and had the fresh scent of summer.

Duh, it is summer.

I look around my surroundings and saw that I was sitting in the middle of the road where my bus normally dropped me off. The only difference that I noticed was that the road didn’t have any loose dust or gravel as usual, but was just a flat, dirt surface.

How the hay did I get out here? Wait, I remember something from last night. Something… hit me, crashed through my wall. Did that knock me all the way out here? Furthermore, why don’t I feel hurt at all. That thing couldn’t have possibly hit me at that speed without injuring me… or killing me.

I decided that it would be best to go home and question it more in the morning. Even though I was unconscious for who knows how long, I was still tired.

As I walked up the hill that I’d thought I wouldn’t have to walk up for at least a week, I noticed that the moon and stars shone notably brighter than it normal. It was beautiful, and the skies were abnormally visible. Even in small joint-town like ours, the city lights still caused light pollution at night.

Another difference was the air; it smelled too clean. There would normally be some sort of staleness, mixed with dust and humidity. But for some reason, it smelled like someone created the perfect air-purifier, cranked it up pass high to “new-set-o’-lungs” and put it outside.

After staring at the sky for a bit and doing some deep breathing of this sweet new oxygen, I looked once more around. My eyes were a bit more adjusted to the dark to see a major difference of the area than the road I had walked just earlier that day.

Didn’t there used to be a horse stable there?

At this point, I was at the bottom of the hill, next to a large grass field that used to have a recently constructed stable for someone who owned the property. I looked to my left at one of my neighbors’ houses. There seemed to be a distinct lack of vehicles in their driveway.

I must be really out of it to not be seeing things… That sentence made less sense than I thought it would.

Letting my fatigue take over slightly, I just trudged on the rest of the way to my house, not giving any more bucks about any differences I hadn’t noticed. I didn’t even see that our tan mini-van had been replaced with some sort of horse-drawn cargo carriage.

I walked up to my house and tried to open my locked door for several minutes before even realizing it was locked. With a sigh, I walked around towards the back where one of our secret spare house keys were hid, went back to the front, unlocked the door and went in.

The house was much darker than outside, but I knew my way around my house. I pulled off my shoes and tossed them in the general direction of where the shoe rack was supposed to be, then went straight to my room to pass out on my bed with my semi-formal jacket and clothes still on.

The next morning, the sun had shone onto my face bright and early. It seemed like no matter how late I go to bed, I always wake up in the morning, just to fall back asleep. This morning was a bit different however, because the moment I woke up, I noticed another figure in my bed that I was to tired to acknowledge the night before.

I figured it was just one of my brothers who decided to crash in my room for the night, like they sometimes do if they find a "problem" with their own bed.

Why can’t they just sleep on their floor? It’s not like it’s cold during summer. Well, I’m not letting them freeload any longer.

I positioned myself to where both of my legs were facing whoever was in my bed, reared back both of my legs, and kicked the intruder off, dragging the blanket with him as well. As he struggled to get out of the blanket covering and tangling him up, what came out of the freeloader’s mouth made my heart stop for a second.

“WHAT THE BUCK! WHO BUCKIN’ DID THAT!”

That voice. That was unmistakably, indubitably, my voice. I remained frozen and silent as the figure continued to thrash around in my blanket.

“I said, WHO DID THAT!” he shouted while he finally managed to get the blanket off of himself.

At that point, I was sure that my heart completely shut down when I saw a yellow pegasus stallion with dark brown eyes and a black, wild spiky mane glare at me for a few seconds before going into shock. My eyes widened in perfect sync with his. We stared at each other for a few minutes before we both decided to greet each other with a dignified, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH-”

“Abyx?! Is something wrong?! I heard you- AAAAAAAAAHHH…” That’s when an older, dark purple pegasus mare with a long, straight mane the same color as the yellow stallion’s mane, walked into the room. We were all screaming now, and it stayed like that until my throat got sore, and I had to cough. While in my coughing fit, the purple mare shot at me and knocked me unconscious.

I woke up sometime later in my living room on our couch. The sun was even brighter since we had a large window to view the driveway there. I started to wonder if whatever the hay happened actually happened, or if it was another fatigue-and-pony-induced nightmare. I slowly got up and made my way to the window to see if my mom had actually returned last night.

Instead of seeing the expected tan minivan that my mom normally drives, I saw the abovementioned large, wooden, horse-drawn cargo carriage that I hadn’t noticed last night. Confused, and with a little bit of rising panic, I began visually searching the front yard for any differences. With a bit of heightened perception fueled by panic, I noticed that our small flowerbed garden had grown at least tenfold since I last saw it, our goats had seemingly disappeared, and our two dogs, Lucy and Jake, were actually sleeping peacefully near our front door instead of in their designated penned up areas.

Oh, I forgot to mention another thing: EVERYTHING LOOKED ANIMATED!!!

Everything seemed to look two-dimensional in a sense, and everything had an outline. As birds flew by, I could tell that they were smiling. ACTUALLY SMILING! It was as if someone decided to draw everything up on Adobe Illustrator, then somehow trap my perspective into their hard drive.

In full panic mode, I rushed over to the bathroom to inspect myself in the mirror. Upon reaching the mirror, my fears had been confirmed. I saw an animated, unusually wide-eyed, acne-less me staring back. With further inspection, I noticed that I had gotten thinner by a reasonable margin. The chub in my cheeks were gone, and my gut had shrunk quite a bit as well. My hair was still long and greasy though, but my facial hair had become slightly more noticeable than before.

I backed out of the mirror slowly, trying to regain my senses from being shocked by my reflection, but backing out something bumped into me from behind.

I turned around to see the same yellow pony from before, only this time he was wearing a black shirt and shorts with a red vest on. It was pretty much an inverted version of my usual attire. He then said to me in my voice, “Alright, I want answers. What are you and what were you doing in my bed?”

“Your bed? That was my bed! This is my house! What I want to know is…” I stopped when I realized that this couldn’t possibly be my house, especially with all the cartoony special effects in place. I was about to apologize at this realization, but the pegasus cut me off.

“HOLY BUCK, YOU SOUND LIKE ME!!!”

“Y-yeah, I thought that was creepy too when I first heard it. Now look, I’m sorry for disturbing you last night. I honestly thought that this was my house.”

“Wait, wait, wait. How could you possibly think that this would be your house? First of all, you don’t look like you live anywhere near here, let alone this house. Second, how’d you get here, were you just wandering or something? And third, what the hay were you doing in my bed?!”

“Again, I really thought this was my house. I must’ve just been too tired to recognize where I was. As for how I got here…” I noticed a pair of familiar double doors just to my right at the end of the hallway, they looked like the ones that led to the media room in my house. I walked over there and opened the doors. Abyx started to protest at my actions.

“Wait, don’t go in there…”

The room was mostly bare, except for a desk with a typewriter on it where the computer used to be and a window on the wall opposite from the door. The light fixtures, which always looked like spotlights to me back home, seemed to serve the purpose of their appearance as they pointed towards an empty side of the room across from the desk. The half of the room that it pointed at had the floor slightly raised. Almost like a small stage, which I suppose did explain the spotlights. At closer examination of the desk, there looked to be scattered pieces of paper all around the typewriter. The room was basically some sort of small acting studio.

“Are you a playwright?” I asked, motioning around the room.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you can just barge in here like that, this is my private area. You didn’t even answer my question.”

“Actually, I was getting to that. You see, this is the room where I think I was teleported or something.” I was starting to form a small, possible idea. The house, the front yard, this pony, and this animated look. It was all starting to come to me, but I wasn’t sure if I should’ve been overwhelmed with joy, or completely scared out of my mind.

“How could you have gotten here through my studio? You’re not making any sense!” He was starting to get angry again, but I continued with my explanation/theory.

“It maybe your room here, but I’m pretty sure that it was mine last night where I came from.”

“What the hay are you talking about?!” His anger looked like it increased by three times since I started explaining.

“I’m saying that I was in this room last night, just not specifically here. Something crashed through that wall,” I pointed to the wall with the window, “while I was here. It knocked me unconscious, and I woke up at the end of… um, what’s this street called?”

“Fruit Farm.”

“WHAT!? That’s my street's name! Wait, stop. Off topic. Anyway, I woke up at the end of Fruit Farm, and started heading towards this house. And by that, I mean this house specifically.”

“This still isn’t making any sense.”

“I’m getting to that! Now, when I got here, I went and got the spare keys to the house that I know were hidden…” I told him where the secret key place was and his eyes widened.

“Okay, that’s it! You’re going to start making sense right now!”

“If you’re who I think you are, then I’m surprised that you haven’t figured it all out yet.”

“What do you mean, ‘who you think I am’? Have you been stalking me!?”

“NO! Just think about it. Our voices are the same? We wear the same style? I freaking thought this was my house for Christ’s sake! Think about it!”

He went into deep thought for a while, then he suddenly looked up at me with a face of realization and said, “Prove it. You don’t possibly expect me to believe you instantly, right?”

I chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of my head. “Actually, considering who I think you are, yeah. I kinda did. But if you do need proof… I know that you secretly keep a large collection of porn in the crawlspace under the house through a well-hidden floor hatch in your closet.”

The look on his face was priceless. “…Okay, that’s enough proof I need. I believe you now. So, if what you say is true, than you’re…”

“Yep, I’m from another dimension.” Never thought I’d ever have to say that.

“And considering the similarities, and the fact that you know of my secret-plot-stash, than that means you’re…”

The smile that apparently had been on my face since I revealed his secret stash grew even wider. “Yep again, I’m you!”

Me, Myself, and... Yeah, That's It.

Me, Myself, and… Yeah, That’s it.

“Yep again, I’m you!” I laughed mentally at this one time when that sentence was used as a joke, but this situation was kinda funny on a different level. Maybe that’s also why I was still smiling.

The pony me just stared at me, half in disbelief and half in thought. After more moments of awkward silence, he finally let out a chuckle himself.

“Heh… Heh, heh… Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, that’s just funny right there if you think about it.” He continued to laugh heartily at my situation, and I laughed along side him.

“Ha, I know, and it’s also kinda awesome. I mean, when’s the last time you could look at a mirror and talk to yourself, except have the mirror talk back?”

“Well, I do know unicorns who have actually done that. By the way, my name’s Abyx, Abyx Skybreaker. I’m assuming you have the same name?” He reached out with a hoof, which I took was a sign for a hand- er, hoof -shake.

I accepted the hoof and said, “Actually, the name’s Jasper, Jasper Landers, but I admit, yours sounds a lot cooler.”

“Actually, Abyx isn’t my real name. It’s just my real name shortened. But why’s your name Jasper Landers? Oh Celestia, please don’t tell me that I’m a geologist that lives with a family of landscapers in your dimension.”

I chuckled. “No, we humans- which is what I am, by the way -like to give names that have meaning based on their history or religious meaning. And from what I can tell, you just described an occupation based on my name. Well ‘Abyx’ sure doesn’t sound like an occupation to me.”

He suddenly looked flustered. “Well… My real name’s a touchy subject, but your right it’s not my occupation. If you remember from busting into my studio, I’m a playwright and actor, and a quite famous one around here at that. I work with another pony that lives in the town close by, and we specialize in comedies.”

“Oh really? Care to tell me a joke?” Apparently I was a comedian here, although that didn’t surprise me. I was funny among my friends back home, but only among friends. When alone, if you don’t remember, I was a deep, philosophical thinker. Maybe it was different here, since there’s not as much violence or war. But I was making assumptions again, and I had a few problems with doing that in the past. I remembered a fan fiction where war was as common here as it was on Earth, and since this was an alternate Earth, there could’ve been a number of things similar… Wait… Oh crap, I missed most of his joke with my inner monologue.

“…and so he put on the mask and said, ‘How about now?’” he finished and looked at me expectantly. I hesitated a moment before realizing that that was the punch line and quickly tried to laugh convincingly.

“Oh, hahahahaha, ‘How about now?’ That’s a good one. Heheheh…” I failed at the convincing part.

He seemed crestfallen and exclaimed, “Aw, dammit! I knew I should’ve worked more on build up, I’ll have to scrap that joke ‘til later then.”

I then felt guilty for making myself look like an idiot in front of me and… I just felt guilty alright! “Ok, I’m sorry. I actually wasn’t listening the first time. I was caught up in my own head.”

“Heh, sounds like me most of the time. You really are me. Should I tell it again?”

“Actually, I just remembered something. When in my- I mean, your -room, there was an older purple mare who knocked me out. Who was that?”

“Oh, that was my mom. Her name’s Cloudflower. She went out to get the local librarian. She usually knows how to fix a problem like this.”

“Local librarian…? Wait a second, what town is this?” Another idea sprung to mind, this time without the conflicting emotion of fear, just joy.

“Well, I don’t know what you used to call your town, but here it’s called Ponyville.” BOOM! Hear that? That was the door to the padded cell that held the brony in me since I woke up that morning. And at that point, he broke out using the dynamite that Abyx smuggled in through my ears.

“Did you say… Ponyville?” Warning: Imminent Meltdown in 3...

“Uhh… Y-yeah, why? A-are you okay? Y-you got this weird look in your eye.” …2...

“Yeah, yeah. Though, I suggest that you leave and lock this room for 2 minutes.” …1...

“Um… Suuuuurrrree. Why?” …0. Meltdown commencing. Have a nice day.

“Too late! WOOHOO!” I tried to warn him. I ran out the front door, almost tripping over the two dogs still sleeping there, and yelled out to the sky, “HELLO PONYVILLE, EQUESTRIA! JASPER HAS COME AND IS HERE TO ST-!” That’s when I suddenly fell unconscious for no reason whatsoever.

I woke up on the same Celestia damned couch that I woke up on earlier, only this time, I noticed that the sky was now at twilight. What!? Who did that this time?!

My question was answered when the dark purple pegasus mare from that morning- Clowdflower -walked around the corner and called, “Twilight, the spell wore off. It’s waking up.”

Okay, gotta stay cool, calm, collected. Don’t want to freak out over some librarian ma- DEAR SWEET CELESTIA, SHE’S CUTER IN PERSON! *Squee*

She walked in and looked up at me with curious eyes. I guess she wasn’t afraid since she learned that she could take me out easily with whatever she used earlier. I tried my best to hide any squees, grins, or any indication of emotion.

“Uhh… It’s looking at me strangely… Did it ever do that to you?” I didn't do very well.

“Well, no. It actually just screamed at us. Abyx did say it talked to him earlier though.” Whoa, she actually sounds like Mom.

“It talked? You’re capable of speech?”

Yay, my turn for conversation! “Why yes, I am. Now, where is Abyx? It’d be much better if we explained it together, since he understands my situation the best.”

Cloudflower- Should I be calling her Mom? I mean, she’s Abyx’s mom, so that means she’s still my mom right? Maybe I’ll ask once we get this straightened out. -spoke up. “You’re not getting anywhere near my Abe-ey!” *Snicker* Abe-ey! At least my mom never did that to me. “For all I know, you could’ve brainwashed him!”

I was about to retort when Twilight saved me from misunderstandings. “Actually, Mrs. Skybreaker, I scanned him and he seemed fine. In fact, this creature has no magical power at all. But… I did find something in him that seemed weird…”

I cut in before she could elaborate. “Yeah, that's great. So now do you think you could bring him in, knowing I didn’t- and can’t -do anything to him? Like I said, it’d be much easier to explain since he already knows.”

Screw it, Imma call her Mom. She's too much like her. Mom started stammering in frustration. “Wha- But- I- ARGH! Fine! Abyx, you can come in now.”

Abyx came back around the corner, looking slightly peeved. Oh Mom, you never cease to annoy me in any dimension.

“Can you explain everything now?” Mom asked, clearly annoyed. And apparently I don’t cease to annoy you either.

“Sure. Abyx, care to do the honors?” I stood up and gestured to him.

“Nah, I’d rather let you.” He gestured back. He got what I had in mind.

“Why don’t we do this together than, shall we?” I asked.

“Let’s,” he replied.

“*Ahem* My name is Jasper Landers. I’m a human.” I introduced myself

“And you know me as Abyx Skybreaker, the pony.” He introduced himself as a formality.

Then together we both said, “And we’re both inter-dimensional twins!”

THUD. Mom fainted. *Sigh*

A/N: Sorry if this chapter is a bit short. School doesn’t end until… next week, I think? Anyways, leave feedback! I like learning to better myself. So let the criticism roll!

Congratulations, They're Twins!

Congratulations, They’re Twins!

After Mom had fainted, Twilight started lecturing me on how it was almost impossible for any creature, no matter how magical, to jump dimensions, based on some theory by some old crackpot wizard from some several centuries ago. Was it so hard to believe that I was from another dimension? This town always had some sort of magical mishap go on at least every Tuesday, didn’t they? I mean, sure they can have a demon dog that guards a hell mouth run through town, but they couldn’t have some inter-dimensional being show up and claim that he’s a parallel counterpart of a stallion he woke up in bed with?

…Okay, you will disregard what I said in that sentence right now. Don’t think I can’t hear you snickering!

Anyway, after the lecture, Mom woke up and I explained exactly what happened the night before and how I discovered that I was Abyx’s twin, minus the information about the porn stash. All that explanation got me were two more skeptical looks.

“Soooo… You were in your studio last night,” Twilight started.

“Yep,” I replied. “Only where I’m from it wasn’t a studio, it was a media room. A place where we kept our technology that we used for entertainment.”

“Right, and something crashed through the wall…”

“Yes.”

“Knocking you out…”

“Uh huh.”

“And when you woke up, you were at the end of this street in the middle of the night…”

“I’d call it a road, but yeah.”

“So you walked here, found their spare key, got in, and slept in Abyx’s bed because you thought this house was yours.”

“Well now you make me sound like a creep.”

“I’ll get to that in a minute. And while Mrs. Skybreaker was out getting my help, you managed to convince yourself and Abyx that you two are, as you put, ‘inter-dimensional twins.’”

“Not convinced. I just saw the evidence and put the pieces of the puzzle together. I mean, you heard our voices right? We sound so much like each other, it’s not even funny… Okay, maybe it is a little bit funny. I’ve never seen Mom faint like that before. And having it animated and in pony form just makes it hilarious.”

Then Mom got mad for some reason. “Don’t call me that! I’m not your mother!”

I put on a fake sad face. “*Sniff* B-but Mama, don’t you wecognize yow own son? I tawt you wuved me.”

“I couldn’t possibly have such an ugly monkey-diamond-dog-hybrid- er… thing as a son!”

That definitely got me out of playing around. “Okay, that actually hurt me there. But I’m being serious, and here are the facts that I know of: One, I’m not from here. Two, this house and the front yard looks too much like mine. Three, I didn’t find the spare key to the house, I knew where it was. And four, my voice sounds like Abyx’s. Also, I think if you look hard enough, you can actually see that we look alike as well.”

Twilight stepped in. “While I didn’t sense any magic in you, the voice could be an illusion, or just a coincidence. As for your appearance?” She shook her head. “The only slight similarities I see are your clothing and hair, which could also be complete coincidences.”

“Well there has to be some way for you to recognize me as being the same pers- er… pony? Screw it, I’m going with person- as being the same person as Abyx here.”

“Hey!” Abyx finally said something. “Why haven’t I had a chance to defend myself, or you, since we started talking? I’d like a say in what goes on.”

“Be quiet, Abe-ey. The adults are talking here,” I said in a mock-parent tone.

“You will treat my son with respect in this house! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!” Honestly, I didn’t know what made my mom so protective in this universe. Mine was at least a hundred times more dangerous, and she wasn’t this attached. In fact, Abyx looks to be about Twilight’s age. From what I’ve read, the ages of consent can differ greatly from back home, so what’s Abyx still doing at home if Twilight is living at the library in town?

“Y-yes, Mo- I mean, ma’am. S-sorry, ma’am.” Definitely one thing hasn’t changed though: Mom is scary when she’s pissed.

“Now you may speak, Abyx.” Sudden tone shift equals creepy.

“Er- Th-thanks, M-mom. *Ahem* Anyway, I believe Twilight used a scanning spell on us and said she felt something strange. Maybe if she could use the spell again and elaborate on that strange feeling?”

Twilight blinked. “I… guess I could try that… But I won’t guarantee any results that’ll help his case.”

“Um… This isn’t going to hurt, right? I mean, I was unconscious the first time, so I don’t know if I have to be in a certain position or-” Before I could further stall the spell, a thin purple stream of light coming from Twilight‘s horn, almost holographic, began scanning both Abyx and me. It was kinda like how one of those retina or facial scanners from movies would scan. It was cool to say the least.

Once the light show ended, Twilight sat there with her eyes wide and mouth opening and closing, like she was silently mumbling.

“Soooo… Find results that help my case?” That better be why she’s acting like that. Otherwise, we might need to contact Nurse Redheart.

She finally managed to utter six words after endless moments of impatience: “It’s like they’re the same pony.”

“I’d like to point out that I’m not a pony.”

“What do you mean they’re the same… individuals?” Mom asked. “How’s that possible?”

“I don’t know, but they’re completely the same in almost every way. The only obvious differences in the results were their physical forms. It can’t be possible! Nebula the Inquisitive proved that-”

“‘Inquisitive’ doesn’t mean smart. You know that, right?” I interrupted. “He probably didn’t have the sufficient technology or magic to work with at the time. You did say that was centuries ago, didn’t you?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“But nothing! I’m standing here, living, breathing, and existing. There’s no denying it, and there’s no use changing it. I don’t know how I got here, but if it’s possible, I’d like to stay.”

“WHAT!?” They all shouted. Even Abyx was a little surprised.

“But Dude, what about your friends and family? I know Mom and my friends would be upset if I went to another dimension.”

“I’m sure they would, Abyx, but if I were to stay home, I’m pretty sure they’d just put me to work on the farm, so I don’t usually get to see my friends for the summer. Er… It is summer here right now, right?”

“Yeah, and I guess a whole summer of labor would suck.”

“Exactly! And besides, who said we couldn’t find a way to go back and forth?”

Twilight immediately lit up at those words. “That’s a great idea! It would be the biggest discovery of the century! Just think of how many worlds we could learn from!”

“That’s the spirit! Now why don’t we get ourselves properly introduced. Well, I guess we kinda did that earlier when I made Mom faint, but I’ll say it again if I have to. My name is Jasper Landers, your newest local human and enigma at your service.” I did an exaggerated low bow. “Oh, and I’m the counterpart to that pony there.” I nodded my head toward Abyx.

“Well my name is Twilight Sparkle, and I’m the librarian of the Books and Branches Library in Ponyville. I’ll send a letter to Princess Celestia about your situation so I can get her approval on this line of research. I’ll also suspect that she’ll want to meet you, considering you technically represent your species while you’re here.” Like in every HIE I’ve read?

She said her thanks to Mom for being a good host and left the house swiftly. I glanced outside and noticed a flash of light before seeing she was going. Teleportation, man. Freaky.

Mom hadn’t spoken since she heard the results from Twilight’s mouth, with the exception of that ‘WHAT’ which everypony took part in. She just stood there, gaping at me like I performed a triple-double-corkscrew-backflip right in front of her. And now that I think about it, that might as well have been what happened.

“Um… Mom? You’re kinda freakin’ me out with the staring.” Might not have been the best thing to say to someone who found out that an alien turns out to be your son from another dimension. “I’m sorry if you still don’t believe me or whatever, but please don’t be mad over it.”

She took a few steps closer, and for some reason, tears began to well up in her eyes. “How could I be mad at my own son?” Then, at my shock, she pulled me into a tight hug.

“Wha- You believe me now?”

“Twilight’s never been one to doubt, sweetie. I’m just so sorry that I hadn’t seen it earlier.”

“I don’t blame you. If Abyx over there was the one to come into my world, my parents might not have been as nice as you were.”

I could tell she was about to ask why, but Abyx interrupted with a cough. “*Ahem* I don’t mean to break up this emotion-fest or whatever, but I’ve had a question nagging at my mind since you woke up.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Sure, what is it?”

“Well, it’s just that, why did you freak out when I told you we were in Ponyville?”

My mind went blank. Okay, not completely. BUUUUUUUUUUU-

A/N: C'mon, guys. I know there's more than four people who read this. Can I get a little feedback here? Thanks!