The Last Of The Lazarus Men

by -Singleton-

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Diamond Dogs, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 4434

When a twist of fate lands a rag tag group of monster hunters in Equestria, they must stop their greatest foe from evolving, and wreaking havoc on the peaceful world. But one hunter is more than what he seems to be ... He is Ðorde Živkovic. Lazarus

Imagine holding dominion over life and death, laughing the grim reaper in the face, day after day, unafraid of the painful end that most people eventually meet.

Imagine resurrecting the dead in an instant, restoring them to life, pushing back the veil of darkness with one fell swoop of an ingenious, yet morally questionable device.

Imagine, for a moment, that this device was produced in the hundreds, given to 1,000 soldiers to fight increasingly tough enemies. Suddenly, those 1,000 soldiers become 10,000 soldiers, and over time, even more as they become more and more experienced, yet are unable to die, being revived, over and over again. It takes a toll on a man, slowly chipping away at his perception of reality ... But a person can only outrun death for so long.

They were the Lazarus Men.

But what happens when you can't run anymore? What happens when it all catches up to you?

This is the story, of the last member of the Lazarus Men.

He is Ðorde Živkovic.

Lazarus himself.

But when a routine fight against a monster on Shear ends in catastrophe, Lazarus is there to pick up the pieces, dragging those that would submit to death's cold grasp back to life. Yet an unfortunate chain of events ends up backfiring, with Lazarus' device at the center of it all.

Follow the final member of The Lazarus Men as him and his fellow hunters face their greatest challenge yet, in a place where they had least expected it.

Evolve x MLP Crossover

Will be updated whenever I have time to write more.

Chapters will almost always be between 4k-5k words.

Published 2015-02-23 23:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-23 23:50:01 UTC

Arise

"Oh, the healing field has recharged. Perhaps it is better to wait for death." , said a voice nonchalantly, with the slightest twinge of Russian to it.

"Laz!", a gruff cockney accent shouted angrily, the sound of unrelenting gunfire filling the air

"Oh alright!" , Lazarus responded, a burst of green dust exploding outwards from his suit. "I have extended your life. Use your time wisely ..." , he said trailing off.

An arc of lightning smashed into the rockface beside Lazarus, who rolled to the left to avoid being hit. Shaking his head as he recovered, Lazarus beheld the scene before him. Sunlight was flooding into the small cave through a hole in the cavern's ceiling, while the sound of an unrelenting minigun echoed through the cave, accompanied by the raucous jeers of Hyde who was unleashing hell from his little friend. Hyde was a former chemtrooper, a veteran of the third Mutagen Wars. He had faced monstrosities before, but none like the one he was currently pelting with round after round of merciless ammunition. The cave smelled of burnt flesh, singed hair, and was slowly starting to smell like blood as well, Hyde's minigun penetrating the armor of the monster.

"Bring it on ya ponce! That's it ! That's it ! Get nice and pissed so ol' Hyde can laugh at ya when he burns ya alive!" , he shouted, clearly enjoying himself far too much. Another arc of lightning shot through the air, sending Hyde careening backwards, as his oversized jetpack fought to slow him down. A giant puff of fire burst forth from his jetpack, sending him barreling straight back at the beast. But instead of readying his minigun, Hyde raised his left arm, which was encased in an oversized, red gauntlet. The battle scarred piece of armor shifted, pieces clicking and rearranging themselves as a large nozzle emerged from the top of the hand, while Hyde squeezed his fist tight.

Hyde collided with the creature, his personal energy shield flicking on , creating a visible, blue barrier of interlacing digital lines around him. He bounced off the monster's armored skin, grinding his grimy boots into the dirt as his flamethrower gauntlet spewed flames, setting the creature alight. He stared down the beast with only his right eye, his left eye being covered in an eye patch, and that entire side of his face covered in a long, grotesque chemical burn that revealed tender pink flesh, despite having scarred over.

"Oi' now he's mad. Now this is LIVING!" , Hyde said enthusiastically, continuing his fiery assault as the creature attempted to shield its face, slowly inching backwards, into the opening of the cavern. Embers careened off of Hyde's shield in a spectacular display , as the old chemtrooper chuckled manically, his long, unkempt beard shaking with every evil laugh. The light of the opening brought the creature into full view, its blood dripping from its numerous wounds, sections of exposed, red flesh being incinerated even as it tried to defend itself.

It stood easily triple the height of any man, nearly 18 feet tall when on its hind legs. It was saurian in nature, bearing a great resemblence to cephalopods and Cthulu. Its arms and legs were lithe, yet finely toned and defined by rippling muscles that were now being torched, as it yelled in agony. The ends of its arms, were ribbed by tough bone plates near the elbow, and down the lower part of its arms. As it inched backwards, stepping into the center of the spotlight, it was easy to see it was on its last breath. Its bonelike spines that run up the center of its back were chipped and broken, marrow and blood oozing from them, while its tendril shaped wings were bent, twisted, and bloodied.

"Hank! Wheres da' orbital strike? I can't hold it much longer, shields about to give.", Hyde shouted, looking over his shoulder, and clenching his fist tigher, resulting in an even bigger stream of fiery death. The weave of digital mesh around him was starting to flicker, as the Kraken retaliated with several lightning bolts, crackling through the air and smacking Hyde right in the chest, sending him tumbling backwards, before slamming into a wall violently. He groaned in pain, releasing his fist, and letting the flamethrower sink back into his gauntlet as he attempted to stand.

"Ahh ... shit! Gimme' a sec' guys, big guns still chargin'! How long does it take to orbit a damn planet? ", Hank said in a clear, yet distinctively southern drawl. He was looking through a pair of yellow metal binoculars that had seen better days. The paint was peeling all over it, as Hank lased the Kraken, the red laser aimed right at the monsters feet. He twirled the lit cigar in his mouth, letting out a puff of smoke between his teeth as an audible beeping sound resonated from the binoculars.

"Gotcha!", Hank said triumphantly, lowering the binoculars, and clipping them to his belt. As the Kraken attempted to put out the fires raging across its ravaged body, it looked up, hearing a distinctive whining noise, only to see several shells falling from the sky. It shot Hank a glare that could kill with its glowing eyes. Suddenly, it lunged forward over a hundred feet in a single second, putting all of its remaining strength into its destroyed wings, propelling it forward at an incredible speed. In the blink of an eye, it was on top of Hank, who didn't even have time to let the cigar fall from his mouth in astonishment.

"Hank!", Hyde yelled desperately, trying to pick himself up, finding it impossible to stand. He looked on in a mix of hatred for himself and the monster, staring at it wide eyed, as the orbital bombardment rocked the cave. The explosions kicked up dust and rock, sending shards of it flying everywhere, bouncing off the monster's armored skin. A figure crept up slowly behind him, a revolver like shotgun in one hand, and a small spherical grenade in the other. He tipped his cowboy hat, before leaping onto the monsters back.

"Get off hi-" , a voice cried in defiance, but was cut off mid sentence as the Kraken shook him off and swatted him away with one arm, sending him tumbling backwards , and out the entrance of the cave into the lake below.

"Ah, the buggah got Abe!", Hyde said as Lazarus loosed a quick burst of shots from his silenced sniper, while also emitting another healing burst of green dust, the bullets slamming into the monsters red, exposed flesh in its backside. It howled in agony, whirling around, revealing the grizzly scene. Hyde's eyes bulged for a moment, and he blinked hard. Hank was hanging limply, impaled by the three bladed fingers of the Kraken through his chest. His eyes were glazed over, his cigar having fallen from his mouth, and blood was slowly trickling down the side of his mouth. The Kraken eyed the corpse evilly, before plucking him off his talons, and tossing him aside, blood pooling around the body quickly.

"You'll pay for that ya bastahd! I fuggin liked Hank!" , Hyde bellowed, his minigun spinning up. For a moment, Hyde thought about doing something crazy, but before he could even finish his thought, he found himself doing it. He had dropped his minigun, tackling the creature with his heavy power gauntlet, smashing it straight in the chest as the Kraken fumbled backward awkwardly on its hind legs, before tripping on the ledge of the cave, and plumetting several stories into the river below, all while trying to fight off Hyde who was punching and kicking him in a berserker rage of vengance.

Lazarus crept over to Hank's body, slinging his sniper over his shoulder, and readying his signature, and highly illegal, Lazarus device. The well armored gauntlet was plated in a silver layer of metal plates that overlapped on the fingers, and on the forearm, there were three canisters of connected, glass cylinders. The cylinders surged with electricity and the fluid within them sparked and crackled, shifting in an ethereal and odd manner. The thick wires connecting the tubes of odd substance were placed on the back of the hand, disappearing into the device through three small bumps in the gauntlet.

Looking around for a moment to make sure no other hunter was left in the room, Lazarus cleared his throat, even as he heard the consecutive flatline signals for Hyde and Abe though his earpiece. He practically bounced up and down giddily as the gauntlet sparked to life, an orb of white hot electricity forming im the palm of his hand. Shadows arced across the dark cave walls, as Lazarus crouched down next to Hank's body, letting the light of the gauntlet cast ominous shadows across his face and his bald head. He smiled wickedly, letting his sunken in, sleep deprived eyes glare at the body with intent. He had always loved this part.

"Arise!", Lazarus shouted dramatically, putting emphasis and flair into his words, as he brought the gauntlet closer to Hank's body.

But, just as the orb of rejuvenating energies was about to revive Hank, the Kraken's bloodied talons appeared on the edge of the cave, garnering a disapproving look from Lazarus.

"Do not interrupt me beast! I am trying to sound 'cool' as Abraham always says. Be gone with you!" , Lazarus said, rather annoyed, returning his attention to Hank. The Kraken, in a fit of rage , let loose a bolt of bio-lightning from its tentacled mouth, just as its head poked over the ledge. The arc of lightning streaked straight towards Lazarus' device, striking it, and sending him flying backwards into the unforgiving cave walls. The impact dented Lazarus' jetpack, fuel leaking from the tank.

His vision blurry and his head in pain, Lazarus tried to grasp his head, but his gauntlet caught his attention, looking on in a mix of horror and hate at the sparking gauntlet, that had beams of pure white light shooting out of cracks in it.

"What have you done!?", he shouted, clearly enraged at the Kraken, as the eldritch horror pulled itself over the ledge, and slinked closer to him, closing in for the final kill. Lazarus put his arms up to defend himself, but the Kraken swatted his hand away with a powerful jab, knocking Lazarus' earpiece out of his head, and causing it to skitter across the floor.The Kraken raised its claws, preparing to pounce, as Lazarus' gauntlet exploded in a blinding white light, engulfing everything around the two of them in an instant.

The Lazarus device had failed spectacularly, blasting the both of them into oblivion; rather than restoring life, it destroyed it with frightening ease ...

Yet, something strange happened in the following moments. Lazarus' detached earpiece lit up with the slow, steady beeping of a heart rate monitor. Four different paces of beeps chimed away in the earpiece for several more seconds, despite none of the hunters being present, least of all Lazarus himself. The beeping abruptly stopped moments later, as the cave fell silent once more, but did not emit the flat line noise.

The earpiece simply fell silent for a moment, before feintly emitting a noise that indicated it had the lost the signals.

"Ungh ... Mah' fuckin' head ... Laz I goddamn told you ta not ... " , Hank grunted in pain, before switching to slight anger. He trailed off as he rubbed his eyes, trying to adjust them to the dim lighting of the room. He couldn't see much of anything in the room around him as he shifted uneasily, sitting up from the cold stone floor, illuminated by dim torches along the walls. Hank stroked his beard, just to make sure it was still there.

He would never forget the time Lazarus' device caused all his hair to fall out. Hank without a beard, just wasn't natural. Ever since that day, he had refused to cut his beard, letting it grow into a magnificently grey thing of wonder. Even after he had started balding, his beard continued to grow, combining with an unkempt mustache to form the Voltron of all beards. Hank smiled underneath his shaggy beard, before standing up completely. To his left, he eyed his laser cutter on the floor, along with one of his playing cards he kept lodged in his arm bands. He reached down, picking up the card, and slotting it back into its armband on the side of his bulging biceps. Though he was getting old, Hank was still a big man, built like an ox, and even though he was getting on in years, he still had it.

He looked around uneasily, trying to make out his surroundings better, as he picked up the gigantic, turret like weapon, fastening it to a magnetic holster on his back. Hank realized was in a tunnel of some sort, the dim torchlight letting shadows flicker and run across the walls as the flames ebbed and flowed. He readjusted his backwards baseball cap, shifting it into a more comfortable position, and flipping his mining goggles so that they rested a bit higher on his head. The large, earmuff like comm device that went around his baseball cap was silent, even as Hank tried to contact his boss.

"Cabot? Cabot ya there?", he asked uneasily, walking down the tunnel uneasily. Looking over his shoulder, and whirling around as he caught a glimpse of a fast moving silhouette out of the corner of his eye. He heard a laugh like that of a hyena ring throughout the tunnels, reverberating endlessly off of the jagged rock walls. Hank stood frozen there, peering into the darkness at the end of the tunnel, unable to see past the short distance the torch on the wall illuminated.

All of a sudden, another cackle rang out behind him, this one much closer than before. Hank looked over his shoulder, scanning the passage behind him, again, unable to make out anything in the pitch black darkness.

"Boss man, this talk is gon' have to wait, iffn' you're even there." , Hank whispered into his headset loudly, his words echoing down the tunnels narrow halls. Another feral laugh

"Ah ahm' not in the mood for this shit. " , Hank muttered to himself, turning on the mining light on his shoulder, the little metal covering retracting from the lens of the light, as light flooded the tunnel in front of him, the blinding white light illuminating the dimly lit hall.

"What in the fuck ..." , Hank trailed off, squinting to get a better look at the creature just a few yards away from him. It stood on two , stubby legs, like those of a canine, and inched backwards, shielding its face with its large, meaty arms that ended in thick hands, the fingers tipped with sharp claws. It was covered in a motley and grimy coat of grey fur, and wore only a dirty, red vest that had been left open to reveal its broad chest. The creature's ears were flipped down, as its club-like, spiked tail was held between its legs. Suddenly, the odd creature stopped, lowering its arms to reveal a short snout. Its nose was like that of a dogs, the moisture of it glistening in the bright light. Its eyes were almost comically large, its gigantic pupils staring straight into Hank's own eyes, while its brown irises filled much of the rest of its eyes.

For a moment, the two stood there, eyes locked on each other, eyeing one another up and down. Hank had seem some weird shit in his time on Shear, but he had never heard of what he could only imagine were dog people. The dog looked away, closing its eyes, and turning around. Hank was tempted to stop it, but before he could, the animal stole a last glance of Hank over its shoulder, and scampered off into the darkness.

He just stood there for a few moments, before hanging his head, looking down at the ground. He brought one of his gloved hands to his face, rubbing it, trying to get himself to see straight again. After a few moments of rubbing his eyes, and shaking his head in disbelief, Hank reached into one of the pockets on his worn tactical vest. His hand reappeared with a cigar a second later, as he strode over to the torch, lighting it, and sticking it in his mouth, twirling it around in his mouth for a moment, getting a feel for the fresh bundle of relief. He let a puff of smoke slip out of his mouth, wafting into the air, and filling the cave with the smell of cheap tobacco.

Hank shook his head slowly one more time, chuckling to himself incredulously, before starting down the hall, letting his metal boots clank loudly, filling the air with their metallic din. His yellow exoskeleton that was attached to the sides of his brown cargo pants shifted and clanked as he moved, the loud hydraulics adding to the echoes of that bounced around in the narrow passage. As Hank came to a bend in the tunnel, peering down the hall into the darkness, he smiled, before saying something ever so softly.

" Laz, whatevah the fuck kinda pick-me-up you put in that glove of yers," Hank rolled his cigar in his mouth, smirking slightly " its fuckin' workin, cus Ah ahm either high as a kite, or that was a fuckin' dog man." Hank began a solid jog down the dark corridor, rounding the dark corner and disappearing into the blackness, muttering one last thing to himself.

" But Ah swear ta god my beard falls out again and Ah will skin you alive with your own damned gauntlet ..."

"W-what is it Luna?" , a gentle female voice asked cautiously, the sound echoing through Lazarus' head as he blinked his eyes, light flooding into his dark world.

"I'm not sure sister. Its not like anything I've ever seen." , another, sterner sounding female replied. " What is it wearing Tia'? I've never even heard of armor like this."

Lazarus shifted uneasily, groaning groggily, garnering a gasp from both of the females as he sat up, clutching his head with his right hand. He sat there for a second, rubbing his head, before shaking it a few times, and blinking furiously. He looked up , his whole body covered in shadow by the figures that towered over him. He blinked hard , his mouth slightly ajar, looking over his shoulder as if to see if there was someone pulling a prank on him. He squinted at the two figures, trying to look for the seams of a costume, or the digital mesh of a hologram, but after staring at them in silence long enough, Lazarus was unable to find either. He stared into their gigantic , prying eyes for a few moments longer. One of them, the white one, had pink eyes, while the other one's eyes were a light cerulean color that faded into cyan.

He looked away, sitting up and staring into the white tiles of the floor beneath him, thinking about what to do, fully able to hear the nervous breathing of the strange beings that were still eyeing him over cautiously. Looking up, and then scanning the room for his sniper, before finding it several feet to his right, Lazarus' face cracked the slightest of smiles, before he reached down, pressing a button on his right arm.

Instantly, Lazarus' entire form flickered out of existence, light bending around him as he stood up slowly. The creatures stood there, staring at the spot where Lazarus had been only a second ago, before swiveling their heads to the gun on the floor just a few feet away. They looked on as the sniper floated into the air before vanishing completely. They took note of how it floated though, which instantly sparked understanding in their heads. It had been picked up.

Lazarus crept around behind the figures, the golden rays of sunlight deflecting off of him, creating a slightly visible distortion wherever he walked. He took it slow, being careful to try and muffle his footsteps, while taking in the room around him. Giant stain glass windows lined the walls on either side of him, letting sunlight stream through them in beautiful shades of blues, reds, purples, and every other imaginable color. The air smelled of a delicate perfume, and everything in the huge, open room was made of a stark white marble, which highlighted the long, gold gilded red carpet that ran the length of the room, ending at the shallow golden steps of a magnificent throne.

He turned his attention back to the creatures he was now just a few inches behind. He raised his gun, poking the end of the silencer into the back of the blue one's head as his cloak drained its last few pulses of energy, revealing him. He spoke in a slow, calm tone, his voice resounding throughout the throne room as the several equines in golden armor shifted, flanking him on all sides.

" You have ten seconds to reveal to me where I am , who you are, and what you are," , Lazarus spoke, issuing his terms before remembering his manners, " your majesty." The end of his gun remained pressed up against the backside of the creature's head for a second more at most, before Lazarus was enveloped by a blueish purple aura, lifting him off the ground, and ripping his rifle from his hands, sending it skittering across the polished tiles, out of reach.

The large equine whirred around, glaring at him intensely, her eyes narrowing at him. For a moment, Lazarus was almost certain that her pupils had retracted to draconic slits. He stared into her eyes for a moment, as her pupils returned to normal.

"Very interesting ... and rather disturbing ... " , he muttered under his breath.

"Luna, perhaps it is best to not startle him any more than he already is. He's clearly just confused. Set him down at once." , the larger white horse said , facing Luna.

Luna looked at the white equine for a moment, before giving Lazarus one more dirty look, and dropping him, the aura around him fading, just as it did around her horn. Lazarus took note of this, deciding to try and at least figure out what they were. After being picked up like a ragdoll, he knew he wasn't going to get the answers he needed through force.Still, he couldn't believe what he was about to say.

"So, you are a unicorn then, yes?", Lazarus said hesitantly, picking himself up from the floor. Even when he stood at his full height, both of the giant equines were still taller than him, if only by a few inches. Lazarus scanned the creatures, tilting his head, and craning it to get a better view of the rest of their bodies.

They wore ornate shoes of sparkling gold and silver, while around their necks hung giant, ornate metal collars that bore a symbol on it. Luna's symbol was that of a crescent moon amid the blackness of her sparkling collar, while the larger white one's golden collar was embedded with a fine purple gemstone, the grooves of the golden color accenting the beautiful gem. Atop their heads rested magnificent tiaras of the same material as their collars. Luna's was slightly smaller, and the dark black metal remained blank, while the white one's tiara was larger, more flowing, and bore the same purple gemstone that resided in her collar. Intricate grooves ran all along the ornate piece of metal, light dancing it as if it was being manipulated to give her a godly glow.

" We are not mere unicorns , you ignorant thrall.", Luna said venomously, as the white one scolded her furiously, before softening her expression and looking back at Lazarus, who's eyes were examining their constantly flowing, ethereal manes.

" I apologize for my sister's demeanor. She can get a bit , " , she paused, searching for the right word, " intense at times. To properly answer your question, no we are not unicorns. We are alicorns, a mix of all three races of ponies, and I am Princess Celestia. As you already know, this is my sister Luna, co-ruler of Equestria." , Celestia finished, giving Lazarus a warm smile.

Lazarus was about to break out into hysterical laughter at the absurdity of what she was saying, but caught himself, remembering something important. He had always criticized the other hunters on his team for having limited imaginations, unable to see the wonder and possibilities that the universe held. If he was to simply refute something that was clearly happening, he would be no better than those he had always thought to be small minded. Still, he wondered what she had meant by all three races of ponies.

As Lazarus contemplated what to say, Celestia noticed a scratched up, blue cross on one of his metal pauldrons, deciding to try and break the ice with this observation.

"Oh, I see you are a ..." , Celestia wracked her brain for a moment, trying to figure out what he was, before going blank and continuing her sentence, " ... practitioner of medicine. Are you a doctor of some sort? A medic perhaps?"

Lazarus' eyes shot open, bulging at the very word. He looked down at his gauntlet, noticing that it appeared to be undamaged, despite what had happened. He smiled wickedly, letting the device spark to life, crackling white energy forming in the palm of his hand. Lazarus loved making a show of things.

Luna stepped forward, her horn lighting up, ready to disable Lazarus again, but Celestia put a hoof up in front of her, stopping her as Luna gave her sister a scornful look . She held her gaze for a moment, before sighing and letting the magic around her horn die down, resigning herself.

"I am no medic ...", Lazarus said, spitting out the last word in disgust. He lifted the device closer to his face, letting his fingers meld the orb of energy into a perfect sphere, while the gauntlet's intense white light painted shadows across his face, giving his already intimidating visage an extra dose of creepy.

"I am a Lazarus Man."