Apples and Honesty

"Three princesses," Rarity said. "Three. PRINCESSES. And here you said you were bored, and you had nothing. Applejack, that was a very low blow, particularly for the Bearer of Apples."

Applejack smirked, still lounging in her chair. "Y'all don't like the game, y'all don't have to play." She came back up to a more normal position. "But Ah don't get what apples have t' do with it. That some kinda big-city thing?"

"Applejack." Rarity put both hooves on the table and loomed towards the farmpony. "You are SUPPOSED to be the Bearer of Apples. You just won a game of Dodge Junction Hold 'Em with FLAGRANT. BRAZEN. LIES. How can you NOT SEE that there is some sort of contradiction there?!"

Applejack blushed and rubbed her neck with her right forehoof. "Well, Ah admit it ain't somethin' Ah'm proud of, but it's how ya play th' game, an' Ah don't get what it has t' do with apples. Now, zap apples Ah could see carin' about all this, but ordinary apples ain't exactly got ears."

Rarity just stared. "And what, pray tell, are zap apples?"

Applejack blinked. "That's what we make inta jam, remember? We sell Filthy Rich a hundred jars a year? Princess Celestia once got caught eatin' it straight outta th' jar?" Neither Applejack nor Rarity noticed Twilight's shame-faced attempt to stop them at that point. "Most famous product of Ponyville, 'part from somepony's dresses and somepony else's modellin' photos?"

Fluttershy gave a faint squeak and hid under the table.

"Applejack..." Rarity fumed. "One cannot make jam out of apples. What will you propose next, distilling loyalty into hard liquor?" (Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie shared a whisper, an elbow nudge, and a titter.) "Pickling generosity?" (Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash shared a whisper, an elbow nudge, and a titter.) "Shall Savoir Fare offer friendship-and-daisy sandwiches? For all that I respect your livelihood, dear Applejack, you surely understand that a concept of moral philosophy is something other than a food product!"

"Rarity," Applejack said, evenly, "Ah have absolutely no idea what y'all are talkin' about."

Rarity deflated somewhat, and returned to her chair, favoring Applejack with a disgusted huff.

A long moment of silence ensued.

"I think," Twilight said, "that I might understand what's going on.

"Applejack, when you kick a tree in your orchard during harvesting season, what are you trying to knock down?"

"Apples," Applejack said.

"And when you tell the truth and have fair dealings with other ponies, what's that called?"

"Honesty."

Twilight clapped her hooves together. "See, Rarity? It's just how Applejack pronounces these things! Apples and honesty sound the same when she's saying them!"

"Hold on there, Twi," Applejack said. "Y'all really mean... Ah've been the bearer of" -- she cleared her throat, and used a careful pronunciation -- "honesty all this time? As in, tellin' the whole truth an' doin' right by others?"

"Of course!" Twilight said. "What element did you think you had?"

"T' be honest, apples.

"Ah never did quite get why. Sure, it's hard t' be friendly when you're starvin', an' a good meal can bring ponies closer together, but apples always seemed awful specific -- like the universe was seein' just how one-trick of a pony it could make me.

"But if Ah'd known Ah was bearin' _honesty_, well... that time in Dodge Junction, an' that surprise party, an' on th' road trip, an' th' whole Mare-Do-Well business...

"Well... if Ah'd known that, Ah might've been a slightly different pony."

Rarity, still out of the game, just slouched and fumed.