Doorways

by GameJunkie7

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Random, Gore, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Adventure
Length: 169087

One night, when going to work, Mr. Robinson was the victim of an odd circumstance. Nearly all the doors in his house now lead to various locations in Equestria. Not knowing this yet, he resolves to lock them, only to forget the front door....

One night, when going to work, Mr. Robinson was the victim of an odd circumstance. Nearly all the doors in his house now lead to various locations in Equestria. Not knowing this yet, he resolves to lock them, only to forget the front door....

First crossover is chapter What? WHAT?! Cool....

Published 2015-02-22 18:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-04 16:22:13 UTC

A Place of Wonder

Anthon grunted in annoyance when he hit his head on yet another door frame as Pinkie guided him through the treebrary. Yeah, a library/loft, in a flippin' living tree. Awesome. Didn't change the fact that he was now apparently, according to Pinkie, at least twice as tall as he was before, making him dwarf the four-foot something mare at around twelve feet, making this building far too small for him to comfortable navigate.

She told him that when she pulled him into the library, she turned back to normal, while he instantly shot up in size, his clothes thankfully joining him. He then promptly passed out, probably from shock. She also admitted to undressing him because she thought he'd be uncomfortable in all those clothes and his weapons, which he was actually thankful for since yes; that would've been more than enough to make him quite sore.

He deigned to just put on his pants, an interesting experience with digitigrade legs, and found his shaggy fur to be pleasantly compliant with making the process smoother, but he felt unseasonably warm. He'd have to get used to that; he was NOT going anywhere without bottoms. He was told his stuff would be safe upstairs, as nopony lived in the library anyway.

“Why do you say nopony and not nobody? Is it rare to see non-ponies here?” Anthon asked as he carefully began going down the stairs. The closet door that now led to his house was on the end of the upstairs hall, which was right next to the bedroom he'd woke up in. “And if nopony lives here; then how did you end up in my house?”

“Yes! It's such a treat to meet a non-pony! I've only ever met other ponies, one donkey, and cows my whole life, and when my Pinkie Sense was telling me some-ONE new was in town; I just HAD to find you! Also, it was a doozy of one too! It was going off like a whole WORLD of new pon-urm...?” Pinkie looked to Anthon for a word describing humans.

“People. In fact, I think such a term would apply to all sentient beings.” Anthon mused as he smiled at the pink mare's fast words. He missed being like that.

“Okay! PEOPLE, suddenly came to town. So I hopped, skipped, and jumped out of bed and right on over where I looked everywhere in here, until I decided to check the closet and these little rascals all came out!” They had reached the ground floor, and suddenly Pinkie span around holding all three of Anthon's dogs in her forelegs. Thankfully Cuddles was in the middle of the sandwich, and Violet and Klingon get violent when forced together.

The little shits didn't change much, but they all looked even happier than usual, their tails all smacking against Pinkie's chest as they panted and yipped at their master. “Oh~ you three little shits are always causing me worry.” He reached down and gently rubbed their heads with his even meatier digits. “So that's when you decided to go into my house.”

“And became all bulgy and furless! I mean, why? Why was I so bulgy? Being furless I can live with, but if I didn't have that huge jiggly plot I wouldn't have been able to stand at all!” Pinkie finally noticed Anthon's uncomfortable blush staining his russet face, and she finally blushed in understanding. “Those were my teats weren't they?”

“Y-yeah...humans have them up here instead of...down there....” Anthon gestured with his hands on his still relatively humanoid body, getting Pinkie to set the dogs down and hide her face in her hooves.

“Oh~...I played with my teats in front of a total stranger like a whore...I'm sorry.” Pinkie looked back up at getting a comforting pet on the head, and Anthon chuckled at her adorableness.

“Hey, I've seen worse. Heard of the internet?” Anthon asked, getting a blank blink in response. “Thought not. You don't want to know.” Anthon kept petting her, oddly transfixed on how her poofy mane just felt so nice to run his fingers through, getting a pleased mewl from the mare who nuzzled into his hand.

“Wow...you're a good petter! But then again these little doggies all have such smooth fur, you really love them huh?” Pinkie pet Violet, who began yapping like a bullhorn, and rolled over to get her belly rubbed. “Oh~ a belly whore huh? Ready for some rubs?” Pinkie nuzzled the dog in her belly, getting a content reaction as Violet stretched out. “She's adorable.”

“And LOUD, I lose a lot of sleep over her blaring yapping. Alright, HO!” All three scamps snapped to attention, and he pointed up the stairs. “Bed!” Violet dashed upstairs, Cuddles began a slow waddling climb, but Klingon started pawing at his pant leg with whimpers. He was such a needy puppy. “Oh, fine.” He picked the chihuahua up and cradled him in his beefy left arm. “So...where are we?”

“We're in Golden Oaks library.” Pinkie gestured around and indeed, the walls themselves seemed to have been grown into shelving, filled to the brim with books. Thankfully, he could read their spines, meaning somehow this reality had the same written AND spoken languages as his own.

“Magic 101, Pegasus Physiology...Pony Sutra?” Anthon asked with a blush at the last one, and Pinkie grinned slyly, and winked conspiratorially.

“It's a good read.” She whispered, before giggling her bubbly laugh, and headed for the front door. “C'mon! I'm going to show you the town! This is a really special occasion, and calls for a very BIG party!”

Uh-oh...the P word.... “Um...sorry but...I don't like parties.” Anthon felt like he suddenly stepped on a landmine, Klingon whimpered as he burrowed as much as he could into his elbow, and the pink mare had halted, her mane and tail instantly going straight somehow.

“What...did you just...say?” Her formerly squeaky and bubbly voice was low, husky, and threatening, but he puffed up his chest. She turned slowly to look up at him with angry, dull eyes. Eyes that didn't belong on this mare.

“I don't. Like. Parties.” He leered down at her. “I'd be fine with a small gathering, but no large groups, no loud music, and certainly no alcohol.” He stood firm, unaffected by her sudden personality change. He was near bipolar, so she had nothing on him when it came to fits of blinding rage.

Suddenly, her hair re-inflated back into the bouncy vibrant curls, and her expression turned joyful. “So a small party then! Say about...ten ponies? Need to invite the mayor and talk about your house inside the library and stuff. I know JUST who to invite. Now c'mon!” Pinkie opened the door, and Anthon cringed at realizing it was broad daylight out. He was supposed to be sleeping! But...he wasn't tired.

“Thank gog it's a weekend....” Anthon grumbled as he practically had to crawl through the door to get out, and shielded his eyes against the blinding sunlight. 'Damn...SUN! Even in an alternate universe I can't escape it!' When he let his hand down, he gaped at the sheer number of vibrantly colored ponies going about their daily lives, many had stopped to look at the massive minotaur easily three times their height just come out of the library, but were placated by the fact that he was one; with Pinkie, and two; was cradling an adorable small dog in his arm which offset his intimidation.

“Welcome to Ponyville~!” Pinkie cheered as confetti launched out from behind her with party favor noises. “I'll show you around and introduce you to my friends! We're mostly getting ready for the Summer Sun Celebration, but since that's a couple days from now we're only just getting started, so there's plenty of time to party beforehoof!”

“Sure, okay...right....” 'Oh gog, they're all looking at me, and not in the usual “what a goofball” look I love getting. It's more like a “who is that” look. This is why I HATE crowds!' “C-can we...I don't know...go someplace less...open?”

“Sure! Carrousel Boutique is pretty close, so I'll take you there first to introduce you to Rarity.” Pinkie literally bounced in tiny bounds as she began leading him away from the library, and thus away from the safety of his lonesome home.

'Okay Anthon, okay...you can do this. Remember; you are a strong man. You can do anything you set out to do.' He began walking after her, completely dependent on Pinkie for guidance and as a sort of life preserver in this ocean of unfamiliarity. Ironic, considering he'd known her for less than the better part of an hour and he trusted her more than he did most people.

[@]

The boutique was...interesting. It was one of the taller buildings in town actually, having three stories, but it was the design choice that baffled him. “What compels ponies to design something based around a traditional corral post originally used to help teach humans how to ride horses?”

Pinkie gasped in scandal. “Really?! I thought it was an old custom used by noble ponies or something. It explains all the tack involved.” Pinkie grinned lecherously, letting Anthon know that ponies were easily as depraved as humans were, if more open about it. “I'll be bugging Rarity about this for AGES!” Pinkie then quickly approached the door, and entered. “Rarity! You named your store after a bondage game!”

Anthon burst out in explosive laughter, startling Klingon into wanting down, but he pet the pup to keep him calm as he gathered himself. “That mare...she is so funny.” He ducked down to enter the refined building, glad that for some reason the buildings here had high ceilings.

“Pinkie that is NOT true! A carrousel is...um...um....” Rarity blushed, and her ears flickered, the white coated mare with elegantly curled deep purple hair looked mortified. “DEAR CELESTIA! No wonder so many of my clientele are so reclusive, and order so much underwear and faux-leather harnesses! They thought I was running a fetish shop! This is the WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!” Her horn...a HORN?! Yes, a horn on her head shined light blue, and a fainting couch suddenly dragged into the room like a rocket, and the mare then proceeded to faint onto the suitably named piece of furniture.

Anthon was stunned at the sight, and gaped in a dumbstruck fashion at the supine fashionista. “D-did she just? I saw that magic book back at the library, but...magic?” 'That...is...so...!' “AWESOME!” His bellow of sheer joy at the revelation made Klingon yip, and the racket woke the formerly passed out mare in a startle. He quickly set Klingon on the floor, and upon seeing an unfamiliar cat, promptly chased it with zeal. Said cat made the mistake of thinking to scratch him, instead getting pounced into playing. They ran out the room as Anthon continued to have his own private celebration. “Magic is real! Suck it you eggheads! Ha!”

“What is the meaning of this display? Of course magic exists, it's in everypony's everyday life.” Rarity commented in confusion, but then looked Anthon over, and blushed. “Oh...my...such musculature. Are you here for some clothes? Displaying such raw masculinity might be a bit much for more reserved ponies.”

“Hm? No, I have a shirt and vest back at the library, I just came to meet you since Pinkie insisted I meet her friends.” Anthon knelt and held out his hand for a shake. “I am Anthon Robinson, a pleasure to meet you milady.” He bowed his head, getting Rarity to titter as she gladly accepted his handshake.

“Well! A gentlecolt! How refreshing. I am Rarity Belle, owner of Carrousel Boutique...but I might have to change the name now. Oh~, redoing the exterior design will cost at least a hundred or so bits....” Anthon released her hoof and stood back up.

“I don't know, it looks quite refined from the outside. Besides, if you get the more daring clients, then simply reinforce you sell normal clothing too.” Anthon tried to console the worried mare, and watched as a fluffy white cat that made his youngest cat Sophie back at the house look small run through, being chased quietly by an excited Klingon. “Clingy, *whistle* here boy! Leave the kitty alone. She doesn't want to play.”

Klingon again ran up and pawed at Anthon's leg with whines, only for Anthon to sigh and pick up the puppy again. “Oh, you have a way with animals. I'm certain you'll make good friends with Fluttershy then.” Rarity commented as Anthon scratched Klingon's ears.

“I don't know about that; I manhandle my pets with excessive affection.” Anthon suddenly held Klingon to his face and began nuzzling him like he usually did, only the effect was more pronounced with his elongated face. “Who's my puppy? Who is my little clingy? Do you love me? I love you. That's all that matters.”

“He has two more dogs and three cats, so I know Fluttershy will like him. Well we've got to go. I want to introduce him to Dashie, AJ and Shy before his small party this evening. Oh! Here.” Pinkie pulled a party invitation out of her mane, and hoofed it to Rarity, who took it in her magic and skimmed the note on it curiously.

“Welcome to our universe Anthon Robinson party? Universe? Whatever do you mean Pinkie?” Rarity asked, beings Pinkie's titles for things were not pure nonsense, she knew this by now at least.

“We'll tell you at the party...wait...where did you get that? Did you really prepare these invitations while I was passed out?” Anthon asked incredulously, only for Pinkie to giggle.

“No silly! I just keep stashes of emergency invitations in my mane. Now then, the library tonight. See you later Rarity!” Pinkie then bounced out the door, and Anthon chuckled as he followed, leaving Rarity blinking at the odd yet pleasant encounter while her cat Opal was just glad the little devil dog was gone.

[@]

“Next we need to find Dashie. She's likely around, but she's hard to pin down.” Pinkie explained as she stood atop his head, using him as a perch as she looked around. Anthon was baffled at how light she was, or just how strong this body was for him to barely notice her weight on his neck.

“Why would she be hard to pin down? Is she flighty and unpredictable?” Anthon asked curiously, getting an amused bubbly giggle out of his guide.

“Oh~ you could say that! Oh! There she is! Rainbow Dash~!” Pinkie called up into the air, confusing Anthon so he looked up, Pinkie remained on his head as if gravity meant nothing, but he didn't notice. “See! Up there, on that cloud!” Anthon could certainly see the lone cloud that Pinkie was pointing out, along with the rainbow hair dangling from it. “Lazy Dashie! Sleeping after getting her work done early again.”

“On a cloud?” Anthon asked. He wasn't really surprised anymore, Pinkie sort of took that element out of everything by now. He was interested, but not shocked in any way.

“Yep! Hey, how good is your aim?” Pinkie asked as she jumped down and landed effortlessly. Impressive considering the height she just came down from.

“Depends. I'm okay, but what're we talking about here?” Klingon was napping now, and to save him the trouble of holding him, Anthon put him in his empty left thigh pocket.

“Throwing something at Dashie to get her to wake up.” Pinkie bluntly stated, looking around before extending her left foreleg an impossible distance into the nearest shrub, and yanking back a filled blue water balloon. “Good thing I leave water balloons around Ponyville in case of a water balloon emergency like this!”

“Pinkie, you are so random. I love it.” Anthon grinned as he picked up the balloon, and debated throwing with his left or right. “Right more accurate...left more power...meh, I'll go left.” Anthon reached back with his left arm, balloon cradled in his palm, and then slung it underhand up at the low cloud, getting a satisfying splash and a shout of alarm. “Bull's eye!”

“He, he, he-nice one!” After Pinkie's congrats, a wet and irate rainbow haired cyan pegasus with cerise eyes flew down from the cloud and hovered over them.

“Okay! Who threw that!” Dash demanded, getting a challenging grin from Anthon, and Dash leered at him. “It. Is. On! I am going to get you back. Hey Pinkie. So, who's the musclehead?” Dash asked as she pointed at the russet and blond minotaur, who was content to yawn and lament his sleep schedule being screwed over at the moment.

“He's Anthon Robinson; my new friend! I'm throwing him a party tonight, and you're invited!” Pinkie again produced another invitation from her mane. Dash was about to toss it, considering skipping since she now had a prank vendetta against the new guy, only to notice the title.

“Okay, gotta check it out now.” Dash idly tossed the invite away, before rounding on the surprised Anthon at having her in his face. “I'm watching you. Remember that.” She rocketed off into the air, and Anthon snorted in irritation.

“Well, she's a charmer.” He commented sarcastically, and Pinkie shrugged.

“That's just Dashie. She's overprotective of anypony she cares about, especially involving new pon-people. Let's go see AJ now.” Pinkie resumed bouncing onward, and Anthon grunted as he willed himself to follow.

He could use a double-shot of espresso right about now.

[@]

It was a surprisingly long walk, and to distract himself from all the ponies looking at him, he idly reached into his right hip pocket and took out his smartphone. He was surprised that his furry thumb could use the screen just as well, and even more surprised it was scaled to his size so he could still use it. AND it had signal! Internet too. “This whole situation just gets stranger and stranger.”

“Really? I thought it was getting more familiar.” Pinkie replied to his idle comment, getting him to chuckle.

“I wish I met somebody like you a long time ago Pinkie. My life probably wouldn't have turned out so dull and depressing if I had.” Anthon complimented, getting a sad smile from the mare.

“I wish there were more of me too, so I could make everypony happy all the time. Well, we're here!” Pinkie brought his attention to the front of them, and gestured towards the impressive apple orchards and the homestead of what was obviously a farm. “Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres! Guess what their cash crop is.”

“Leeks?” Anthon joked, getting them both to laugh as they passed the entrance gate. “So who is AJ?”

“She's really Applejack, but I just call her AJ for short. She and her brother Big Macintosh run this farm with their Granny Smith and support her little sister Applebloom.” At Pinkie's mention of AJ's name, Anthon burst out laughing. “What?”

“Okay! You've got to be pulling my leg Pinkie. Applejack? Seriously? That's the name of a shitty cereal back in my world. It's also the name of one of the most powerful and tasty alcoholic drinks in my world too. So now, if she isn't sickeningly sweet, or tasty with a kick powerful enough to unhinge your jaw; I'm going to be disappointed.” Anthon didn't notice Pinkie gesturing for him to shut-up until just now, and he sighed. “She's right behind me, isn't she?”

“Eeyup.” Anthon suddenly felt a powerful pair of hooves plant themselves firmly on his butt cheeks, launching him over a dozen feet over Pinkie, planting his face in the dirt, and getting his horns stuck. “That's what happens when ya let yer mouth run before ya brain.” Anthon growled as he quickly ripped his horns free and spun around, only to pause.

She was clearly bigger than all the other mares he'd met so far, taller by just a bit, but it was also how she had so much tight, lithe, corded muscle that he could see from here how every movement made her fur ripple. She was a soft orange, only ruined by the white freckles on her cheeks just under her eyes, which also made her look a bit charming. Her long blond hair for both her mane and tail were tied off in long ironic pony tails, and her shit-eating grin and glimmering emerald eyes were testament to her amusement. “What? Never seen a cow-mare before?”

“Not until now.” 'What? She's a fudging pony and I'm feeling attracted? Is it this minotaur body?' “Well, you live up to expectation, now.” Anthon took Klingon out of his pocket, the little guy shivering in fear. “APOLOGIZE TO MY LITTLE FELLA!”

AJ instantly turned her expression around and rushed to the cowering little pup. “Oh Ah'm sorry! Ah didn't know ya was in there!” She turned her head to her side, and oddly, a dog treat seemed to appear out of the air in her mouth. “Here, have dis.” She put it in front of Klingon, who shivered in fear as Anthon pet him to try and calm him down until he reached out and took the treat from AJ, who then kissed his brow. “Darn it, Big Mac keeps tellin' me to hold my horses, yet look, this still happens.”

“I didn't land on him, but he's still a puppy, so I'd like to get him some professional attention if I could.” 'I need to learn to say no to him, I can't keep dragging him around like this.'

“Well let's go see Shy then. Ah'll take us there.” AJ then began galloping out of the farm, Pinkie followed with a fast bound, and Anthon sighed.

“Looks like I get to see if my lack of stamina and asthma carries over....”

[@]

It was amazing! He wasn't tired at all! Well, he was a bit winded, but so were AJ and Pinkie. What was so great, was that he didn't break an ankle after three steps, he didn't lose all his energy right away, and he wasn't hacking up a lung with an activity-induced asthma attack. 'This place...it's so much better for my health to be here....'

“That's Shy's place up ahead!” AJ called back to him, as although he was fast now, he still wasn't used to running, and so the quadrupeds had a very clear advantage and had to slow down for him.

'Wait...isn't that?' Anthon flashbacked to nearly getting killed by a lion through his parent's former bedroom door. “Wait...wait I think-.”

“Hiya Fluttershy!” Pinkie called as she saw the butter yellow pegasus with long flowing light pink hair standing curiously in front of a disturbingly familiar plain white door frame that was literally standing freely atop a hill facing her cottage. “Whatcha doin'? Don't you need to build the house before you put in the door?”

“Oh, hello Pinkie, Appleja-.” The pegasus froze instantly upon seeing the towering and scary minotaur behind them, who was ignoring them to gawk at the door. That was stopped though, by the sight of the utterly adorable puppy in his arms. “Oh~! He's so cute!” Fluttershy gushed as she hovered over to him and began immediately petting the happy puppy. “What's his name?”

“The little fella is Klingon. Named him that because he just clung onto us. Also he tears up toilet paper and leaves little tidbits everywhere, so it worked out.” Anthon held out Klingon to the mare. “Hold him please.” She gladly obliged, and Anthon sighed. “Do you have lions out here miss?”

“Oh goodness no. Lions are native to Zebrica. We do have manticores though, but they rarely come this far out of the Everfree.” Anthon groaned before he heard whimpering and scratching at the door. “I've been trying to figure out how there are little animals inside, but...it's....”

“Just a door. How in tarnation?” AJ stated as she circled the enigma. It was closed and was completely solid, as she bucked it and didn't get any damage, or even budge. “Ouch...gonna feel that tomorrow.”

“I'd appreciate if you didn't kick my parent's bedroom door.” Anthon stated to the orange and yellow mare's complete confusion and Pinkie giggled. “I need to see about this....” Anthon went around, and indeed; the side that SHOULD be inside his home had the flipped lock exposed. 'A lot of good all my precautions did then....' He unlocked it, and then opened it. To his shock, it now opened into his parent's bedroom.

“Did ya open it?” Pinkie asked before poking her head around the frame. “Hey! You did! But it's still closed on this side.” She then went back, and he heard the door open on THAT side, and heard excited yapping as Cuddles and Violet ran out and pounced a squeaking Fluttershy who was all too happy to tumble with the little dogs, as his three cats Baby, Jasmine, and Sophie all cautiously looked out of the door.

“What in the name of Celestia is goin' on here?!” AJ asked in sheer confusion.

“I honestly have no idea. I'll summarize over what I DO know at the party. Look...I'm tired, VERY tired. I'm nocturnal and being up so late; I'm surprised I'm even cognizant. So if it's okay; I want to get some sleep before the party.” Anthon closed the door, and then circled around before walking through the open side, the others all watching in awe as he changed seamlessly from a minotaur into an overweight man. “Bleh...I really prefer being a badass minotaur. Okay Pinkie, you know how to find me, so catch ya later. Fluttershy, I trust my dogs-.” He noticed his cats also were with the ponies now. “And cats will be safe with you?”

“Oh, yes. I'll take good care of them for a while.” Fluttershy nuzzled Baby, the shaggy old black cat glad to rub her scabbing head against the friendly mare. “Oh~ you poor old dear. I'll get those persistent scabs treated. You take good care of her, but you should really use more ointment.” Shy turned to Anthon, who yawned and nodded.

“I know, but nothing we have here is safe for her to get in her system, and I'd rather she have the scabs than a digestive issue. See you all later.” Anthon waved goodbye, getting cheerful waves in return before he closed the door, and promptly collapsed onto his back on the catwalk floor, dead asleep.

Author's Note

Praise the Moon! *drops ded on bed*

Bad Touch! BAD TOUCH!

Anthon snored away as he remained sleeping supine on the hard, rough, scratchy floor of his home's catwalk. He was completely oblivious to his surroundings, and had slept well past 4PM; his wake-up time. His alarm beeped urgently in his room for several minutes before giving up and turning itself off. He was also unaware when familiar giggling along with a couple of other unfamiliar voices sounded just below.

“Are you certain this is wa-ha-ha~! Wh-what just? What are these?” Rarity asked as she passed through the front door into the house. She instantly changed into a naked woman with breasts slightly smaller than Pinkie's, but her hips were wider. The key difference was her horn sprouting from her forehead, still white against her pale skin. She was cupping her new assets and Pinkie quickly and seamlessly leaped in.

“Don't! Those are human teats!” Pinkie warned, getting Rarity to stop groping herself in embarrassment.

“I don't get it.” Rainbow intoned, drawing the two to look to their athletic friend walking into the living room with them, who was cupping her much smaller breasts, still big, but nowhere near them. “Why up here? Wouldn't it be better to have them down there where they aren't in the way?” Dash gestured to her underbelly, which was smooth and toned like the rest of her tanned self. Her thighs were slim but tight with muscle, and her butt was petite and rock hard. Her cyan wings were huge and angelic, draping around her like she was an angel.

“Well, Ah happen to enjoy this.” They looked to the arrived AJ, who was hefting her impressive FF-cups with a proud smirk, a couple sizes bigger than Pinkie's E's. Her tan was much darker than Dash's, and her body much, much heavier in muscle tone. Her thighs especially were thick, so thick they touched yet barely yielded. They were Chun-Li thighs, no doubt. Her butt was also bigger than Rarity's with hips to match, also rock hard as she slapped it in approval. “These humans have good taste in my opinion.”

“Oh, oh dear, oh my.” They then finally focused on Fluttershy, who was flapping her wings to stay standing. She dwarfed them all, her breasts easily JJ cups with wide motherly hips and soft rear to match. “I can't stand up straight. Can I please go back into the library?”

“Of course darling! You shouldn't do something if it makes you uncomfortable.” Rarity went to her friend and helped her remain upright as she led her back through the door, changing seamlessly and painlessly back into ponies. It was at this point they finally heard Anthon's snoring from upstairs. “My, for a gentlecolt he is certainly a rude sleeper.”

“You snort rather loudly in your sleep Rares, so you can't say that.” Dash shot through the door with a smirk, getting an irate blush out of the fashionista.

“Well Ah'll go get him up.” AJ went to the stairs and carefully considered how to move up them. She wasn't used to being bipedal, but she'd practiced walking on her hind legs plenty to be able to do more advanced acrobatics in her rodeo performances. Good hoofwork was the foundation of everything. So she climbed up the stairs just fine, but almost ripped the hand rail off the wall when she tugged on it. “Oo...uh...sorry 'bout that.” She decided to apologize about it later and went up to the landing. She paused at the window of the landing, the sight of a filthy, junk-filled side yard and the wall of the adjacent house that marked the property line got her attention. “Land sakes...how can somepony live in such tight spaces?”

“I don't know AJ, this house is pretty big.” Dash called out as she was hovering in the air with her wings in the center of the house, which was basically a giant vaulted ceiling from first floor to second floor above the living room.

“No, Ah mean look outside! His neighbor's house literally marks the edge of his property!” AJ pointed out the window, and Dash hovered over the catwalk and the snoring Anthon to land next to AJ and look out the window.

“Holy crap! Look at all the junk in his yard! Doesn't he throw anything away?” Dash asked as she eyed the rusted-out porch swing, stack of old chairs, the removed truck bed from an old CMG, and huge pile of firewood.

“Yummy!” Pinkie's voice called out from the kitchen, getting their attention, but they couldn't see her through several walls. “These muffins are delicious! But why aren't they in paper cups and shaped like mini bread loaves?”

“Muffins?” Dash asked as she carefully jumped straight down the flight of stairs and landed with impossible grace, before walking towards the source of Pinkie's voice, AJ rolling her eyes before finally setting sight on the half-lard half-lump of snoring man on the catwalk just above the second flight of steps.

“Whoa...he's a downright tubby one here ain't he?” AJ commented to herself as she crawled up the last bit of stairs since he was sleeping right at the top of them, and she poked his belly with an index finger, grinning in amusement at how far it could sink in, only getting a snort out of Anthon in response. “Hm...soft.” She decided to get a handful of belly and giggled at how squishy he was, while Anthon growled in his sleep. “How does such a big fella get all muscled passing over? Alright, up ya git.” AJ grabbed his shoulder, and froze. She squeezed the firm, broad, rock-hard shoulders and blushed in surprise. “Oh...that's why.”

She carefully felt up the muscle under his layer of fat, getting an appreciative groan out of him as she rolled him over and traced his back and shoulder muscles in surprise. From his upper chest, over his shoulders and down to his lower back his muscles were incredibly well defined. They were also full of knots, strains, and were tense as imaginable, getting a frown out of the athletic woman. “How do ya go about all willy nilly like this? If Ah was this knotted up Ah'd be payin' the spa a visit rather than deal with the unneeded pain.”

AJ decided to help him out, and used her strong new hands to start rubbing the knots out, getting Anthon to wake up with a grunt of pain. “Ow! Ugh, who-AH! Geez! You're really heavy hand-gah!”

“Just hold still and it'll be over with sooner.” AJ said as she worked a knot out of his left shoulder, the impromptu deep-tissue massage getting Anthon to groan in both pain and relief. “Ah know what Ah'm doin', don't worry. Ah help get knots outta mah brother every day.”

“A-ah~....” Anthon grunted out in response, letting the strong woman help him out. 'Damn, must've overslept and Pinkie brought them in to fetch me. Wasn't expecting to wake up to a massage, but ow, yeah, I need it.' Anthon's face flushed when AJ straddled his butt and sat so she could get more leverage on his muscles, and he hissed as she rolled a really big knot in his lower right shoulder blade. 'Holy hell! She's really good. Also, how is it that they can't see the sexual connotations of these sorts of situations? Are ponies just more socially accepting of nudity and whatnot? Well...I guess fur would help.'

“Goodness colt, ya got more knots in ya than a hammock. How do ya let yourself get this bad?” AJ started going lower as she finally got his shoulders, and he yelped as she pressed on a vertebrae on his mid-back. “Oh? Ah'll get that.” She crossed her palms and Anthon was about to object, but she quickly jerked her whole body into the thrust, and popped his spine back into place, getting a shout of pain out of the man. “Oh hush, that had to have hurt more bein' out than in.”

“I was used to it...mph.” She started again on his muscles, but when she reached his lower back and slid down to start on his butt, he decided that was enough. “Nope! No! Done! Not hap-ah!” She grabbed his embarrassingly fat butt through his pants, and began kneading her fingers deeply into the muscle of his buttocks, working out tension he never knew he had. “Whoa~! Why is that so painful!?”

“Because ya never got this done before, Ah can tell. You're just a wreck Anthon, how do ya function?” AJ asked, baffled that anyone of any kind of living person could be in such bad shape. He had to have been in constant pain, that wasn't healthy.

“I just, ugh, ignore it. I have a high pain threshold.” 'Geez, now she's doing my thighs, ow!' His thighs were in piercing pain as she worked his hamstrings, she didn't do much with his calves, the rock-hard muscles only needing a quick rub. The real pain began when she started his feet. Each press elicited muffled cries of pain since she didn't really know what to do with them, but she was getting the idea. “You're pretty good AJ. Especially considering you only just became human a short bit ago, right?”

“Yeah, these fingers are nice, but I prefer my hooves. You'd be surprised how simple life is with just a single hard hoof. Ah could've done this faster with my hooves honestly, but that's the rub.” AJ joked with a pun, and then rolled him over, finally giving him a view of the bronze goddess working him over, and he choked as a blood vessel in his nose burst, forcing him to swallow the blood as she sat on his pelvis, still straddling him. “Now Ah'll do yer front. Ah'll have to ignore yer belly, but I can get the rest.”

“Do you NOT realize the sexual contexts of this position? Or what you're doing to me for that matter?” Anthon was completely red-faced, especially as he failed to withhold Randy Robinson, and AJ finally realized it when she felt him poking her groin through his pants, getting a sly grin and blush out of her.

“Well, thank ya kindly for the compliment, but this is just between friends. What, ya humans all so cut off from each other ya can't enjoy a little platonic skinship?” AJ asked cheekily, so ready to tease him.

“Yes. Humans are generally very self-conscious and keep to ourselves mostly. We aren't so social that we can just do things like this without things being sexual. I mean; you basically just performed one of the oldest pre-sex mating rituals we have with me....” At Anthon revealing this fact, AJ's blush exploded as her grin turned into a nervous frown.

“Oh! S-sorry Ah...d-d-didn't mean ta violate ya.” AJ quickly got off him and helped him up, practically heaving him off the floor with ease. “W-we're just friends, we just met, and Ah acted so improper. Can ya forgive me?” She stood even height with him, and he couldn't help but look into those gorgeous emerald eyes.

“Y-yeah...yeah it's fine. Forget about it AJ.” He then look down to her huge breasts, and sighed. “What is it with you ponies and not wearing clothes?”

“Why do we need clothes?” Dash asked as she hovered up from below, eating a mini-loaf of banana bread as she leaned on the banister, her D-cup boobs flowing over her arm, getting Anthon to groan as he rubbed his temples.

“Confound these ponies...they drive me to drink.” Anthon descended the stairs, followed by AJ to head into his kitchen to find.... “WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN?!”

Pinkie was sitting on the bare concrete floor, since the new tile hadn't been laid yet, and the entire kitchen was covered in empty food jars, plates, bowls, boxes, pretty much everything in his main fridge was gone save the rotisserie chicken and roast beef. Pinkie was sitting squat on the floor, covered in various condiments, sugar, and seemed to have a glaze of syrup on her boobs. She was actually in the middle of licking her right nipple clean when she froze at his demand. “Uh....”

“....” Anthon turned around, went to his room, and slammed the door...that he didn't notice had been reattached. AJ and Pinkie looked at each other in confusion, and when Dash knocked on the door-. “GO AWAY! MASTURBATING!”

“Oh, sorry.” Dash responded, shrugging as she looked across the house at the confused and blushing earth ponies. “You two; stop being such teases. He needs to get the frustration out before he can do anything else with us. So let's give him some space and get out of his house.” Dash and AJ practically dragged Pinkie out, her begging to be aloud to finish ravishing Anthon's poor, former virgin kitchen. It would never be the same.

[@]

After punching the monkey and calming down, Anthon took a quick shower before putting on a fresh pair of another set of army green cargo pants, pockets strategically filled as always. He decided to head into the library to avoid sexy nude women from being in his house. He was all too glad to be a minotaur again, the benefits far outweighed the cons in his opinion, not to mention everything felt easier, lighter as a monster of myth. “I'm coming down, sorry for earlier but AJ and Pinkie just overloaded me.” He called down before coming down the stairs, finding a modest party being hosted. There were familiar childish decorations everywhere, but there were only a few ponies besides the five he knew.

“Sorry for earlier Anthon! I'll replace your food later.” Pinkie said as she bounced up to him.

“It's fine.” 'Thank gosh; I can actually handle her more as a pony than as a stupidly sexy human woman. I think I'll try to keep relations with these ponies on THIS side of the Doorway.' “Just so long as you didn't eat any of the meat. No idea what that might do to you.”

Pinkie paled a bit, and looked a little green. “Uh-oh...that would explain all the tummy turning.... I'll be right back!” Pinkie dashed up the stairs, leaving Anthon to shake his head with a grimace; he'd been there. He went over to the punch bowl, took a cup so small to him it might as well have been a shot-glass, and sipped at it. 'Mm...raspberry punch, and it isn't spiked either.'

“So~...big fella.” Anthon turned around to look at eye-level with the hovering Rainbow Dash. This also worked to explain to him why buildings here had such high ceilings. “We're all kinda wanting as much of an explanation as you'll give us. So would ya mind spilling the beans already?” Dash impatiently insisted, gesturing to the others, including the returned Pinkie who looked a bit haggard, likely she just evacuated her system of the foreign contents of meat.

“Well alright then, who among you has the highest authority in general? Being governmental would be especially helpful right now.” At his question, among the three ponies he didn't know; the light tan earth pony mare with gray hair wearing green framed glasses stepped forward.

“I am Mayor Mare. Yes, that is my name, no, my mother didn't know I'd become mayor.” Mayor said with a mature and dutiful tone. She was much younger than she looked though; probably not much older than the others in the group who all seemed in their late teens.

“Alright, here's the gist of it that I can conclude. I am Anthon Robinson, and I am from another dimension. My home has mysteriously woven portals in the form of Doorways throughout Equestria. One of which has replaced the closet of this library's upstairs loft with my front door, the second has placed a seemingly indestructible standalone Doorway atop a hill outside Fluttershy's cottage which replaced my parent's master bedroom/bathroom...I'd better check that bathroom and closet inside that room now that I think of it...anyhow, and any who pass through become a different race altogether to at least be somewhat more compatible with the laws governing said dimension.” Anthon blitzed his cup of punch in one swallow, frowning as he looked at the cup. “Do we have any pitchers Pinkie?”

“Yup!” Pinkie, being the only one not gaping, bounded off to fulfill his request for a larger drinking utensil.

“Oh come now you four; you all went into my house earlier, so you know what I've said is true.” Anthon snorted as he tried not to remember AJ's and Pinkie's dead sexy bodies.

“May I see this alleged Doorway to another world?” Mayor asked incredulously, and Anthon patiently led them all upstairs, where he opened the closet to reveal his entryway and living room. “Astounding....”

“If you step inside, be warned; you'll change into a human shape.” Pinkie eagerly zipped past them, popping through the door and becoming her gloriously plump human form as demonstration, holding a transparent glass pitcher of punch in the air victoriously, getting two of the three newcomers to drop their jaws, while the third merely clopped her forehooves together in applause. 'Damn it Pinkie you silly sexy mare.' “Like so. Now for the last time; Pinkie, humans don't go around naked. If any of you are going to go to my dimension PLEASE have the decency to wear clothes.”

“Of course darling! It's just, usually over here, clothing is optional.” Rarity said in response as Pinkie came back through the door, holding the pitcher out to Anthon with a hoof, which he gladly accepted and took a long, refreshing pull out of, easily downing a third of the pitcher in two gulps.

“Ah~! Thanks Pinkie. So why don't, damn it....” Anthon looked to see Mayor Mare and the minty unicorn with the shaggy toothpaste hair couldn't resist and had stepped into his house, examining their new forms. He didn't bother to look at them in detail, save that the unicorn was squealing in joy about having hands for some reason, while Mayor chastised her for being so unprofessional. What he did catch at a glance was the Mayor was much more shapely than the unicorn overall, save that the unicorn had wider hips. 'Hm...racial dimorphism seems to carry out in skeletal, and muscular structure as well as general quantities of fat deposits in my world for these ponies. Thus far from what I've seen; their bodies in my world reflect their races and lifestyles from their own world. I'd have to have more visitors to make an educated theory on this though.'

“Well Mr. Robinson, I must say that this is quite serious. I'll have to send word up the chain about your situation, probably all the way up to Celestia herself! I've never heard of anything like this happening, and there is nopony in town that is a skilled enough mage to even begin analyzing this phenomenon.” Mayor informed him as she came through and turned back into a pony.

“Then do so, please, I want to know why my house has become a nexus of portals, and I don't trust the governments of my own world; especially with something like this. They'd sooner place me under so many levels of unlawful arrest I shudder to think of it, and then there's the fact they might invade just to obtain knowledge of magic if they don't do so with “ambassadors” here under thin pretense of peace just to suck as much intel out of this world as they can without paying back a single thing for it.” Anthon snorted in anger, taking another long gulp of his pitcher to calm down, the ponies all suitably looking quite worried. “We might very well have a limited window of time here as well; my parents will be back within a week, and they are NOT as paranoid or cautious as I am. I'd hate to have to hold them here against their will to keep it quiet if it came down to it.”

“On it! Derpy! Follow, I need our fastest mailmare on this!” Mayor galloped down the stairs, the wall-eyed gray pegasus quickly taking after upon realizing she was being called upon to serve her town.

“I have, HANDS!” Anthon rolled his eyes before ignoring the Doorway to his house, and heading downstairs, his five recent...yeah, they were friends in his book from hanging around all this oddity, friends following...huh...it'd been a while since he could genuinely say he had even one, let alone five.

“So how ya doin' sugarcube? You're the one this is all affecting.” AJ asked in concern as he went back to the punch bowl, dipping his empty pitcher into it before he picked up an adorably small cupcake.

“Honestly? I'm wishing I lived here right now. I haven't seen much, but look at me! I'm big, strong, and healthy here! I'm not an overweight, sick, tired and pained man just trying to live. But...my home's my home. My family is there. I've been thinking of...trying to live here if the whole portal issue turns out to be stable. Surely there must be work for a big, strong bull here?” Anthon put down his drink and snack to pose with his fists together, flexing. He grinned as he watched his muscles ripple and pop. Especially his pecs, never had them before the whole Doorway issue. He stopped posing and put his hands on his hips as he popped his pecs in an alternating fashion.

“Wh-what're ya doin'?!” He looked up slightly to see all his new friends blushing, looking at his dancing pecs. “Wh-why can't Ah look away?”

“They're so...glorious....” Rarity commented breathily as she fanned herself with a hoof.

“Hot, as, buck.” Rainbow said as she landed from her wings getting stiff.

“Oh...my....” Shy hid behind her hair, face glowing red.

“Yay for flexing!” Pinkie crowed. “What is that?”

“On my world, for those that were gifted enough in body, they could do this. It is called the Pec Pop of Love. No female can resist it. See those grapes?” Anthon grinned as he realized he could totally reenact one of his favorite movie scenes. “Throw some at them, feed them.”

“I'll feed them!” Dash shouted in excitement, before she went to the snack table, grabbed a bushel of grapes, and promptly began throwing them at his pecs, which launched them every which way in timed pec pops. With luck and some test shots, he was able to shoot them into some of the mare's mouths to their blushing surprise. “Last one.”

“Okay Dash, this one's special.” She grinned as she threw the grape, and he launched right back at her, getting her mouth to open in surprise, catching the grape. She smiled as she swallowed.

“That was awesome! AJ! We've got to practice that with our flanks! Imagine all the stallions we'd snag!” Dash demonstrated by popping her flanks by flexing them enough to jump. It wasn't until now that he finally noticed their markings. He worked with people sometimes covered head to toe in tattoos, so he didn't really think about it.

“What're those marks on your flanks? I didn't notice before since I'm so used to seeing things like them on my world, but these are different, since all of you have one unique to you.” Anthon asked, getting the flustered mares to come out of their muscle-filled dazes with a topic they were used to.

“Oh, darling, these are our cutie marks. They represent our best talents in life. For instance; my talent is actually the finding, appraising, and use of gems. But, I'm a fashion designer rather than a jeweler. I could make earrings, bands or whatnot, but I prefer using them in interesting ways with my dresses and suits.” Rarity explained as she raised her rump a bit to emphasis her marks. “So while my talent is important; it doesn't run my life. Even if I weren't so skilled with jewels, I'd have probably incorporated whatever my talent was into my love for fashion.”

“Mah mark represents mah talent for understanding that family comes first. And that Ah'm always best at supportin' those close to me.” AJ looked at her flank happily.

“My mark means I'm the best at being fast! Whether it's in pure speed, or my skill in working weather. I can clear the skies over Ponyville in ten seconds flat, and arrange a downpour in twenty seconds!” Dash beamed as she looked at her rainbow lightning bolt mark. “It's why I'm here and not in Cloudsdale. Ponyville needed a weather captain with enough skill to compensate the lack of pegasi living here in comparison to other towns, so I took the job.”

“Mine means I'm a party pony! Simple! I bring joy to everypony!” Pinkie giggled as she bounced about.

Shy managed to finally get over the display of masculinity and joined in. “My mark means I have a way with animals. As for why it's butterflies and not some other creature, I believe it's because of my gentle approach to it.”

“Hm, that's actually rather convenient. You have a literal resume stamped on your flanks. It likely makes job hunting easier, yet if you try to go out of your area of expertise, getting a job must still be difficult.” 'Then what about me? Would I be able to get a job so easily here? It'd be nice, not having to work for those slave drivers at All-Mart if I could improve my quality of living just by being here.' It'd been on his mind most of that morning and after all the ridiculousness of the early evening. Was this fate throwing him a bone? Or was it just going to screw with him, ruining this for him somehow when it was so great thus far?

“Well...yes. Getting a position in something that isn't an everypony job if you don't have the skills for it is very difficult. Mostly employers seek ponies who already have the skills needed, rather than spend time training them.” Rarity informed with a frown of distaste. Clearly she'd had some trouble with this. “You'd be surprised how few tailors were willing to apprentice me when I had diamonds on my flank instead of a needle and thread or whatnot.” Yep, biased system.

“Don't you worry none about all this mark business sugarcube! If ya decide to be staying for any period of time, Ah could use some muscle on mah farm. Celestia knows that Big Mac could use some help with the plowin'.” She made a point however of looking at his hips, screwing up her face in interest. “Do minotaurs get marks?” She asked them all as she looked around, getting shrugs from everyone including Anthon, who while intrigued, didn't care to have a fur tattoo on his hips. Be kinda hard to have one with how shaggy and thick his lower body's fur was.

“Well, this has been all well and good, but I have to get some things in order to quit my job. I was going to quit soon anyway because I was tired of being mistreated, but having a prospect might make my parents more...lenient, towards all this randomness. But before I do...what's the currency here?” 'Because gog knows exchange rates are blasphemy back home, and I don't even know if this place's money is even good back home. Gotta keep priorities straight.'

All his worries however, practically flew out the window when Rarity seemed to produce a small bag from her side with her mouth, and when she dropped it, enjoyed the wide-eyed look he got at the sight of the plain gold coins spilling onto the floor. “The bit. We used to have a more complicated system in the past I hear, but when the golden apple trees that make the apples used for bits were finished for mass production, all the copper and silver coins were repurposed for other uses.”

Rarity's explanation was confusing, he'd have to get one appraised. “Could I have one to get appraised? I want to see how much it might be worth back home. See what I could do for myself in exchange rates.”

“Certainly! I'm not hurting for bits at the moment, so feel free to take a couple.” Rarity levitated a few bits to him, but he only accepted one, pushing the rest back towards her.

“Please, limit your Generosity with me Rarity. I'm too serious a person when it comes to debts. Just one will be enough and I am grateful for it.” Anthon held the coin in his hands, personally appraising it. Having a father obsessed with precious metals, he picked up some of the knowledge. He bit into it, easily indenting it with his teeth. 'Hardness is consistent, a pure metal, not an alloy. Yep, tastes like gold alright.' He spit to the side and stuck out his tongue, getting sympathetic looks from the others. “Yeah, it's gold alright. Thanks. I'll see you all tomorrow.”

After saying goodnight, he went back upstairs and sighed before reluctantly going back in his house, closing the door, only to freeze at the toothpaste-hared naked woman masturbating on his couch. Said woman froze in embarrassment at being caught, and he sighed deeply. “Just clean up after yourself. I trust you to leave on your own.” He turned right and retreated to his precious, safe, bedroom. Locking the door and getting his computer started up, he had business to take care of. 'Silly, impulsive, sexy as sin...these ponies are going to be the death of me.' He closed his eyes and sighed through his nose at the sound of the unicorn human in his living room squealing in ecstasy. “Don't they have ANY shame?” He ignored all else as he dove into looking up local appraisers, pawn shops, and the process of quitting his job for later should this turn up a literal golden opportunity.

Author's Note

Not just naughtiness, but wanted to have a huge obvious difference between societal approaches to sensuality.

If I woke up to a big, strong woman working the knots out of my muscles, I would just let her, because she's already got the advantage. And hey; free massage. Sex or no; I want that massage.

Job Hunting.

*BANG, BANG, BANG!* Anthon jolted awake at the sound of loud authoritative knocking at his front door. He looked to the clock to see it was barely just after 1:33 in the afternoon. He told them he was nocturnal, so why were they-? *BANG-BANG-BANG!* “I'm up! I'm up! Stop abusing the door! It's mahogany!” Anthon was glad he'd taken to sleeping in his pants as he quickly threw on his green 0% Irish shirt, and opened the door. “It's unlocked y'know. Not like that'd stop any of you anyway.”

Anthon didn't care what his tone was like; he just got rudely awoken, and this white-coated, blue haired, admittedly buff armored unicorn stallion at his Doorway was prime meat for him to rip into. “Hands where I can see them.” He ordered with a blatantly “surfer” voice, and right there; he lost any chance at that moment of being in Anthon's good books without serious concessions.

“Oh, I'm sorry? My hands? You mean-.” He quickly reached forward with his left hand, and when he reached past the frame, a massive russet furred hand and forearm grabbed the pony by the horn, and lifted him up to eye level within a split second. “These hands? Now come in. I'm not talking to some government dude at my door.” He pulled the flailing pony through the frame, and soon a fully armored man actually a head taller than him with the horn coming out of his forehead was standing in surprise before him as Anthon released his horn and looked him over. “Damn...nice.”

As a human his features were regal and sophisticated, his golden armor with purple accents covered him fully like a true soldier of the middle ages. It was like someone out of Fire Emblem or something was standing in front of him. “Well this is...weird.” Only spoiled by his horn and his surfer accent.

“Yeah, my life's been like that the past couple of days. So, are we going to sit down and talk like adults, or am I going to have to push you out my door and we'll talk like men?” The soldier rose to Anthon's threat, and huffed before he removed his helm and held it at his side.

“I am Royal Captain Shining Armor, head of Her Royal Majesty Princess Celestia's personal squadron. I was sent in to check the claims of the Mayor stating that a potential Discordant-Class spacial disruption had occurred, and that a sentient being from another realm had made contact with several locals. I can clearly see that the claims are true.” Shining looked around the house, noting that while it was big, it was also admittedly dirty, animal tracks and fur being everywhere. “Don't you clean?”

“Once a month, or when my dad goes on one of his cleaning fits. That said, what're we going to do about it? Because if I have a say; I at least want to keep one of these Doorways open. I like your world, it's so much...grander than mine.” 'PLEASE say you can't close them! Please!'

“I'm afraid to inform you sir, that without extensive examination and testing we won't be able to close any of them.” Shining informed quirking a slight smile at seeing this “human” try to contain a little jig. “However, I need to inform Princess Celestia that you're now in regular and clearly intended prolonged contact with the locals, and she might even need to speak with you personally.”

“Fine by me. Now I can quit the job I hate, and find work someplace where people genuinely smile, rather than be forced to.” Anthon held out his hand for a shake, this guy just dug himself out of the ditch with that news. “Let's start over; I'm Anthon Robinson, second-to-last heir of the Robinson legacy.”

Shining smiled as he accepted the handshake, both men gripping tightly, and grinning in approval of the strong grip. “Again, Shining Armor. Captain of the Guard and future husband to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”

Anthon blinked. “Her name is; My Love Cadence? Isn't that redundant? Just Cadence is enough to get the point across.” Anthon didn't know much Spanish, but he knew enough to get some meanings across. He was probably missing something, but Shining laughed as they ended the shake.

“She says that all the time! Cadence always insists on just being called Cadence. Well, sorry for how this meeting started, but I'm glad to have met you. I need to go and report to the Princess about this. Hope to see you later.” Shining's horn charged up with a pink aura, but it fizzled out to his confusion. “Huh? Why didn't my teleport work?”

“It might be because you're on this side of the Doorway. Magic doesn't exist here, at least, not normally. There's probably a barrier still between our worlds. Which is why all who pass through change form to more suit the environment. As for why I go all metal and turn into a minotaur and not a pony; no clue, but it's just a theory right now.” Anthon entered the library, bulking back up into his new minotaur form, his 0% Irish shirt grew with him, loosely clinging to him as usual, but the wording changed just slightly to 0% Shirish.

Shining noted this, and considered the implications of it. Clearly the words Irish and Shirish were interchangeable between realms as they represented the same thing. It was something else to add to his report, as Shireland was a country in his world, meaning Anthon's world had a potential counterpart. “Good point, I'll be off then. Welcome to Equestria Anthon.” Shining entered the library and teleported away in a flash of pink, getting Anthon to blink spots out of his vision.

“So...awesome.” Figuring since he was up; he'd head into town to get familiar with the layout since last night he officially resigned from his job, returned his vest and everything. Even if he didn't have the prospect of working in Equestria, he was sick of his job, and this adventure had inspired him to man up and put his foot down at being treated like a slave while only being paid pennies.

[@]

Ponyville was metal. No, seriously, it was the kind of place rock ballads were sung about. The village people, or rather, ponies, were all friendly, and inspired such a sense of welcoming that singers would compose songs of the place back in his world without doubt. Or, maybe it already did? He wasn't much into it, but he'd heard and seen My Little Pony merchandise from the latest series that looked disturbingly to fact in comparison to the residents of Ponyville. Maybe some visionary got all psychic and dreamed this place up through some sort of magical fever dream.

Anyway, it was taking SO much effort not to burst into a rock ballad here and now, more than usual. So to let the pressure out and not blast his tenor voice in screams of joy that would make Ozzy proud, he hummed instead. He still danced a bit and played air guitar, but aside from getting knowing grins from several ponies, nothing came of it.

Anthon decided to get to know the area around the library and how to get to his friend's places first, since he didn't really pay much attention the first time around due to his nerves getting to him, but now he didn't think much of it when somepony looked at him. It was now more of a “hey it's that guy” look rather than the “who is that” look, and he much, MUCH preferred the looks he was getting now.

“I've got to thank them for so much. I bet Pinkie went around telling practically everypony about me to lessen the blow.” Anthon grinned as he waved back to Derpy who had waved to him from her front door. He only heard her name in passing as Mayor left the party yesterday, but he instantly loved her adorable personality, and her wall-eyes just radiated joy similar to Pinkie's. It was impossible to dislike her.

“Hey there!” He was a little surprised, however, when she flew up to him. “You're that big alien right? The one with the magic door?” Oh, gog, she was so cute.

“Yep, that's me. The big alien with the magic door.” 'Hold in laughter, hold it, don't be rude.' “How may I help you?” 'Curse you All-Mart! Improving my manners and desire to help others!' Anthon didn't mind it so much, but he said that on impulse since he was ironically the night-shift worker with the highest customer satisfaction, and the others always directed customer queries to him. Sorry Jerri, but that falls to you now.

“Oh, I don't need anything...well...actually I need some help moving my furniture, but my hubby will be home soon anyway...but even for him it's heavy....” Derpy looked concerned as she put a hoof to her chin. “Say, if I pay you a few bits, would you help me move our safe? We're putting it in the basement.”

“I would help even if you didn't offer bits Derpy. Where is this safe?” At his insistence, Derpy led him inside her home to her husband's private workshop, filled to the brim with clocks, watches, and other timepieces. She explained her husband was Time Turner; the town timekeeper and clockmaker, and he needed the corner the safe took up for a new workstation for fixing even smaller watches. “Wow...that is big.”

Indeed, it was a big safe. It was bigger than the gun safe his dad kept his gold and silver coins in inside his office closet. He needed to remind himself to explore those other Doorways, he couldn't just trust they'd leave themselves be. “Yeah...even my hubby has trouble moving it. I considered asking Big Mac for help, but he's the town heartthrob and I don't want ponies gossiping....”

“Say no more. I've moved a similar safe up and down a couple flights of stairs with help before, but that was before I became a minotaur.” Anthon grinned at his rhyme, and figured he would try moving it himself to test his new strength. “How heavy is this thing?”

“About seven hundred stones.” Derpy informed, and he looked at her in confusion. “Um...do they have ounces where you're from.”

“Yes, so how many ounces comprise a stone?” 'Hm, I'll have to learn a new measurement system, but thankfully not everything is different here.'

“Around fifteen ounces are in a stone.” Derpy answered, and Anthon hummed.

'So a stone is basically a pound, just one ounce less. So this safe is around 10500 ounces...divide by 15 you get 700 stones, but divide by 16 you get 656.25 pounds. Much lighter than it sounded.' Anthon grumbled to himself, bemoaning that he skipped a step again, his brain always did that with math, confusing him when he tried to put it to paper or consider the answer later. “Alright then, let's see here....”

He wrapped his arms around the safe, and dragged it away from the wall with an ease that surprised him, it must've been on some sort of primitive caster. But that thought left him when he hugged it to his chest and lifted it off the floor with surprisingly average strain he'd get lifting around a hundred or so pounds. 'Holy hell! Just how much has my strength multiplied on this side?' The concept was baffling, as Derpy gaped at him lifting the heavy metal safe clear off the floor. “Okay...where do you want this?”

“Oh! Follow me.” Derpy led him through the house, him having to duck through door frames and nudge the safe through them. When it came to the stairs he carefully walked down the steps with Derpy watching his feet, telling him where it was safe to put his hoof down. He didn't know why, but he somehow felt that her skewed vision didn't hurt her when she was focused. Soon, he'd set the safe in the corner of her mostly empty basement, and she applauded with her forehooves. “Oh! Thank you! You really helped save my stud muffin from breaking his back on that thing.”

“Not a problem Derpy. This was a useful exercise for me, and I got to help you out.” Anthon felt some sweat trailing down his face, and wiped it off. That was a nice lift. He was stunned out of his moment of satisfaction when a small jingling bag was tossed to him and he caught it on impulse. “D-Derpy I helped you for free, I don't need any money.”

“Nope! No giving back what you earned.” Derpy grinned playfully from her spot in the air. “You moved something that would've made two stallions get a workout by yourself, and didn't damage anything, so you get a standard mover's fee of 50 bits.”

Anthon gaped at the mare. Here, that wasn't much at all, but he had that bit Rarity gave him appraised at an all-hours pawn shop. Back home, to various pawn shops it was worth almost fifty bucks, more to certain channels that they would be selling them to, but even with him getting the short end; he'd have at most 500 dollars here just for moving a safe.

Equestria is awesome.

“Th-thanks Derpy...you have no idea how much this means to me.” 'If I keep this up, I could afford the expensive medicine that would help dad! Mom wouldn't have to get the cheaper, more dangerous pills he's been taking.' Anthon and his father rarely saw eye-to-eye anymore, but that didn't change the fact he loved him.

“Hey, it's just fifty bits colt...uh...bull? Yeah, bull. Okay? I make that much in half a day as a postmare. Not to mention hubby's job is really important and government supported too. If we didn't have time, we'd be aimless.” Derpy stated, before leading him upstairs out of the basement. “Would you like a muffin? I just baked some.”

“Oh, no. I'm fi-.” Anthon was about to politely decline when his stomach roared like an angry tiger, and he blushed his russet cheeks even redder. 'Oh...forgot breakfast again.' “Um....” Derpy giggled a laugh bubbly enough to compare to Pinkie. Perhaps that's what her bubble cutie mark represented; her astoundingly cheerful personality.

“I'll make that two muffins then?”

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After enjoying Derpy's utterly delicious banana-nut muffins, Anthon continued his journey through town. It was late afternoon now, and things were winding down. He considered visiting his friends, but didn't want to bother them so late. Since he was going to have to become diurnal however, he felt visiting AJ's farm was a good idea, he might be able to get in a quick workout to tire himself out enough to sleep tonight.

So he ran the whole way there once he set his mind to it, and tried to work up a sweat. Running was never fun before, but now that he wasn't choking on mucus in his lungs it was exhilarating. He actually jumped to slap the entrance sign of Sweet Apple Acres as he ran through, and laughed that he easily did so with a little running hop. He then slowed down as he reached the house and panted as he approached the door to knock.

He did so gently since he didn't want to abuse the rustic red door, and was soon greeted by the sight of a little yellow filly with strawberry red hair and amber orange eyes, who gaped up at him in awe. “Hello little one. I wish to speak with Applejack. Is she in?”

She was still frozen, but she soon beamed as a glimmer of wonder filled her eyes. He loved kids so much. “Wow! Ah was told there was a minnow-tour in town, but Ah thought mah sis was just pullin' mah leg!”

“Nope! Here and in the fur; ready and willing to work whenever she needs. I'm here to accept her offer of a position being hired muscle for the farm. Even if she can't pay me, I need to exercise.” 'Seriously! I am SO, PUMPED right now! I've got to get this energy out!'

“Really? But...it's up to Granny Smith if we get any hired hooves...or uh...what're those things ya got?” The filly gestured to his hands. Clearly, ponies really rarely saw other species.

“My hands. Don't have the luxury of a single hard toe, instead I have these fancy things.” He wiggled his fingers and she giggled at his silly wavy hand gestures.

“They sure are silly lookin'! Ah'll go git Granny, ya'll just wait here.” She turned to run back into the house, but paused. “Oh! Right, mah name's Applebloom! I'm Applejack's and Big Macintosh's little sis. Ah hope you git ta stay mister!” AB ran back into her house, leaving a chuckling Anthon.

'Silly filly, she forgot to ask me for my name. But that's youth.' It didn't take all too long, as several minutes later, a wrinkled and shriveled up old light green mare with silver hair came to the door. She wore more than most ponies, beings that she had a shawl on over her upper back and chest, her namesake on her flanks.

“Well howdy there young'un. Mah little Bloom tells me AJ offered ya a position?” She asked as she moved over to a nearby small rocking chair, and tried to get in, but clearly had a little trouble.

“Would you like some help ma'am?” Anthon was used to helping old folks, he was raised to respect them after all. However, he knew they had their pride, and it was important to ask first before lending aid.

“No, no Ah've got it.” She grunted as she managed to finally get herself up onto the chair, and turned around until she was comfortable and started gently rocking. “Sorry 'bout that. Old hip ain't what it used to be.”

“I understand fully ma'am.” 'Have juvenile arthritis on the other side, doesn't seem that way here thankfully.'

“Well, Ah have to inform ya we don't need no new hired hooves. We can use some help now and then, but we've got things all good and taken care of for the most part. If you're interested though, we could put ya on the short list of ponies we would call on for help when we need it, if'in yer the neighborly sort to come all the way out when we have some spare bits ta share.” Granny cackled softly, getting a smile out of the only slightly disappointed Anthon. He noticed she didn't bother trying to change her vocabulary when speaking to him, so that was refreshing.

“That's just fine. After helping somepony in town, I think being a general gopher would work out for me here.” 'Never tried being an everyman job taker. That was more Sandy's route than me, but here I might actually be able to make it work out.'

“Is that so? Well, Ah don't know 'bout none of them big cities or towns, but Ponyville uses a job board system in the town square. Ponies post jobs fer just 'bout anythin' on there. It's mostly things ponies wouldn't bother doin' themselves, but there're bits ta be made there.” Granny Smith informed helpfully, very helpfully in fact.

“Thank you, I'll make use of it. Sorry to disturb you Granny Smith.” Anthon bowed his head slightly as he stood, getting a happy laugh out of her.

“Where'd ya come from colt? It's rare ta see somepony with such good manners these days.” She commented with a compliment, and he grinned back at her.

“Just raised right ma'am. Just raised right.” Anthon turned to leave, a little sad he didn't get to see AJ before leaving, and began running back to town, trying to tire himself out.

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By the time he got back to town, the sun was getting ready to set, and ponies were all going home to spend time with their families and wind down for bed. He was finally feeling the exhaustion he was familiar with, but unlike before where it would be incredibly painful, he was just sore and short of breath with a sheen of sweat on him. The few mares that he passed all blushed at the sweat-stained shirt clinging to his torso, but he paid it no mind as he arrived at the town square just outside the town hall, which was the tallest building in Ponyville.

Next to the steps up to the doors was the job board, and even in the dimming light he could read it easily. Most of them were for odd jobs like needing help moving furniture like he did with Derpy, or fixing a roof or whatnot. But his eyebrows raised at a couple of...dangerous ones. 'Timber Wolf extermination? Hydra repellant placement? A request for Manticore venom? What kinds of ponies post these things?'

Apparently, the Mayor.

The reasons for the postings were included. The wolves was because the Apples, specifically AJ, had asked for help with the wolves intruding on her farm. The hydra repellant was actually a request from Fluttershy because she noticed they were leaving Froggy Bottom Bog and wandering towards town recently, and the venom was actually a request from Ponyville General Hospital for a venom sample to use to make antivenom for their emergency department.

Since these are all things involving the safety of the community, the Mayor put forward the town's tax expenses for a capable pony to help. Or, now; a capable minotaur. He wasn't a brave man, not by a long shot, but these were serious issues, and from what he'd seen of ponies; nopony was about to step up without things getting dire. But tomorrow was the day the town was going to be busy preparing for the Summer Sun Celebration come the morning after next.

Besides...he had a specific manticore he wanted to get some revenge on for scaring a few years off his life the first night that began all of this, as well as the fact it had strayed out to Shy's cottage. He didn't want to think what it might've done to his friend had he not managed to accidentally scare it off. He took the three postings, and took them inside and walked straight up to the receptionist, a plain brown on brown earth pony mare who gawked at him, especially when he put the fliers on her desk. “Anthon Robinson, applying for these jobs.” Besides...he'd be lying if he said he didn't dream of being a Monster Hunter.

Author's Note

Face it; we all dream of being an adventurer at least once, it's why there are so many RPGs out there, and the oldest "gaming" of the sort are things like DnD.

If I wound up a minotaur in a fantasy land, and I wasn't considered and outright monster, I'd want to go adventuring.

Say Wha...?

*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Click.* The familiar alarm blared until it was promptly silenced. Anthon groaned in exhaustion as he looked at the clock, and groaned again. 8AM; his new wake-up time. That USED to be when he went to sleep! 'Flipping schedules is a bitch....'

He went through his new morning routine, which involved the usual, but instead of spending so much time on the computer, he was planning to head to town, but noticed his pets were back. Fluttershy must've sent them back through the door upstairs. They were all nice and clean and groomed too, and especially happy. He hadn't seen them so happy since he took them to the groomer's last month. Guess he had a new one in Fluttershy. “How's my little babies? How's my doggies and kitties?”

Anthon spent some time smothering them in attention as he fed them, he also bought a bag of pet food in town just before the stall closed up. It was all organic, that he could trust from Equestria, and they ate it up like it was gourmet. Wanting to thank Fluttershy, and pay her for services rendered, he decided to leave through the door leading to her cottage. Upon doing so, he saw the mare flitting about with a large number of birds, talking to them about something as he approached. “Hey Shy!”

She squeaked, and the birds scattered, but when she saw it was him, she smiled softly as she calmed down and approached. “Good morning Anthon. Oh, that's a funny shirt.” Fluttershy commented on his green Lucky Shirt. It said so, and had a four-leaf clover, so of course it was lucky.

“Thanks, I have many like it. So what's the plan for today Shy? I noticed you returned my little friends and they were so happy. I was coming to get them today but you beat me to the punch.” Anthon smiled at how she beamed at his praise of her work with his pets.

“Oh, they were such darlings, it was no trouble. Jasmine has a constant headache though, so be nice to her.” Shy said imploringly in a tone he understood, making him sigh sadly about the news he suspected of his second-eldest cat; the psycho.

“I'd thought it was that...I'll make her final days relaxing as possible. So what do I owe you?” At the question, she was about to reject the offer, but he held up a hand. “No. I'm paying. I don't keep debts, I pay them. I have forty-five bits on me, so what do I owe you?”

Shy pouted at being forced to accept payment when she was honest about enjoying having watched over his pets. “Well...it really was no big deal. I didn't use many resources on them that would be worth any money...but for the time spent, I'll take five bits. It will let me buy another bag of animal food.” Anthon quickly reached into his left thigh pocket, took out his small bit bag, and counted out five coins to hand to her, which she...put into her side.

“What is that? I've noticed you ponies doing it a lot.” When Shy looked at him in confusion, he mimed putting his bit bag to his side, and she made an “oh” expression in comprehension.

“Everypony can do it. It's a sort of small magical storage we have. I don't know the specifics, but supposedly all creatures have it.” Fluttershy gestured for him to try, and Anthon looked incredulously at his bag of bits, and imagined it vanishing when he let go, and gawked when it simply was gone when he released it. He then pantomimed grabbing it, imagining he was holding it, and voila! It was back in his hand!

“AWESOME~!” He did so repeatedly with an excited grin. “This would solve SO many problems back home!”

“It's also why ponies don't need saddlebags for anything but larger items and when needing more things than a couple items. The storage can't handle much, but varies between ponies, so maybe the same is for you.” Shy stated, and then looked just above his head and giggled.

“What?” He finally noticed as one of the small birds Shy had been talking to landed on his shoulder, and then he turned his eyes up to see some tail feathers above his eyeline.

“They're roosting on you. They really like you.” Fluttershy said adoringly, but Anthon was having a slight panic/rage moment.

'Must...resist...rage...against...birds!' Anthon hates birds, always has. He has an active vendetta against pigeons specifically, but he does NOT like birds. “Please...Shy...get them. Off. Me.” His hard tone and clear building anger worried her, and she quickly flew up and persuaded them to leave him alone, and he took deep, cleansing breaths. “Sorry. I have a bad history with birds.”

“I understand. I actually have a phobia of dragons, but yours is much more volatile. Do you want to talk about it?” Shy offered, and he shook his head.

“No. I'd rather just stay away from any birds if possible. Thank you again Shy. So, like I asked before; what are your plans for today and tomorrow?” Anthon wanted to see if he could help. Since the celebration was tomorrow and prep was today, Mayor said the start of his tasks weren't until the day after tomorrow, so he had some time to kill.

“I'm in charge of the songbird choir at the celebration, so I'm spending today practicing. I'm not doing anything else today.” She informed him, getting a nod in response.

“Right then, I'll head to the farm and see if AJ wants any help.” Anthon then turned to the Doorway and entered after waving to Shy, using his house as a shortcut.

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“Well darn, if'in Granny didn't send ya off yesterday, Ah could've had somethin' fer ya. But....” AJ apologetically hung as she looked behind her at the massive number of her relatives that were visiting, each doing something productive towards making the massive amount of food for the celebration. “We're kinda...overstaffed right now.” She smiled nervously, but Anthon didn't hold it against her; there were WAY too many ponies here right now.

“Don't worry about it, it's fine. I'm good for a few days and I have work after the celebration, so I'm not concerned with my expenses right now. That aside, I'd be in the way. I'm too big to move through so many ponies without stepping on somepony's hoof or tail.” Ain't that the truth?

“Well...Ah just don't like being made out as a liar. Ah said you were welcome here for a job and it turned out a hollow statement. And now when ya just want ta help, Ah can't let ya? It's not fair to ya.” AJ looked terribly guilty, but Anthon leaned down and forced her chin up to look at him.

“Hey, AJ, you don't have to do or promise anything. Heck, if anything I still owe you for that massage. I'm pretty good with my hands, so if you need one I officially have you in my “owe a favor” book, kay?” Anthon offered, feeling comfortable with it since she already helped him out, but he couldn't avoid grinning slyly at her blushing, remembering his words on the matter. “Hey, if I'm going to be here I've got to adjust my social views don't I?”

“W-well...still...the offer's...nice.” AJ smiled softly and snorted in amusement. “Well, Ah'll hold ya to it then. Next time Ah need a good rub down Ah'll be payin' ya a visit.” A couple of nearby mares all giggled, and she perked up in embarrassment. “Not like THAT!” She shouted to her teasing relatives, getting a jovial bark of laughter out of Anthon.

“Ah, relatives, love em, hate em, can't stand em, can't live without em.” Anthon stated, getting calls of here-here from nearly everypony that heard him, clearly getting him in their good books. “This reminds me of the last Robinson reunions a couple years ago. My aunt's house was packed full, near standing-room only. She didn't get enough RSVPs to prepare for the sheer number of pe-bovines coming.” 'Watch the slips Anthon, can't let the common pony know there's Doorways to an alternate reality, at least not until a proper security measure has been put in place to keep curious ponies out.'

“Well we Apples always have plenty of room, so the number of us coming to a reunion don't matter much in the end.” AJ stated as Applebloom suddenly scurried through the throng of adults with several other fillies and colts her age.

“See! Ah told ya there was a minnow-tour in town! Everypony, meet...uh....” AB blushed as she realized she hadn't asked his name, and Anthon grinned, deciding to save her.

“Anthon Robinson. I'm not a traditional minotaur either, so don't bother asking me about back home; I was raised differently.” Anthon had quickly formulated a complex plan last night to dodge questions of where he was from. He didn't know about where the minotaurs here were from, so until then he had to work off non-assumption, and make clear that he had little clue of his race's culture. AJ raised an eyebrow at him. She figured why he lied by omission, didn't change that she didn't like it. She let it go though; no need to get everypony all worked up about a whole other world, even Pinkie had enough tact to keep that quiet, she just said he was from out-of-country, not where he was from.

He was quickly swept up by the tide of children, all asking questions that he could or could not answer, silly questions like how he got so big, why his horns were so sharp, childish things like that which needed some deflecting. When they started asking questions that he personally felt they had no right to even know to ask, he was grateful for the distraction of seeing a purple unicorn with a bipedal lizard of the same color but with green spines as he quickly made his getaway. 'Little tykes, cute, but dangerous.'

“Hello there.” He greeted, getting the mare and lizard to gawk as they looked up at his towering form. “Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres. You're new here aren't you?”

The mare was the first to recover, while the reptile kept gaping. “Yes. I am Twilight Sparkle, and I am here to oversee the preparations for the celebration. I'm just checking in on the food.”

“Well then, you're in luck; the Apples are having a reunion and are cooking up a storm. You'll find them all over there.” Anthon pointed towards the section of trees the family was in.

“Thank you good sir. May I ask your name? It isn't often we have minotaurs in Equestria...in fact...where's your nose ring? You look old enough to have earned one....” Twilight commented, getting Anthon to blink in surprise. Apparently, from what she just said; minotaurs had a similar tradition to pony cutie marks.

“Oh? Well, I just never got one. Didn't know it had some special meaning. I was raised differently, away from the motherlands. I don't know much of anything since my parents weren't minotaurs. Anyway, name's Anthon Robinson. I just came to town a few days ago myself actually.” 'This mare is incredibly intelligent...I'd better watch myself.'

Twilight blinked before she seemed to come to a realization. “Oh! You were raised by griffins then! That's a griffin name.” Say wha? “It would also explain why your first name isn't the metal of your nose ring, since you don't have one. And the achievement that earned it never happened, so your second name is different too then.” Uh.... “Well, let there be something said for those who break tradition, even if unintentionally. It was enlightening to meet you sir. Come along Spike.” Twilight walked past a stupefied Anthon, followed by a sympathetic Spike.

'What...just happened? Ugh...my head hurts....'

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Anthon decided to get away from the farm for now; that mare was terrifyingly knowledgeable of things the average pony clearly didn't know. To avoid any further slip-ups and a potential existential panic attack for all parties involved, Anthon decided to try and find Rarity, beings she was the last of his new friends he knew he might be able to help out. After asking around, he was informed that she was in town hall, decorating.

“Wow...this is really classy Rarity.” Anthon commented as he entered the town hall past the reception lobby. Honestly, the town hall was really only used for special occasions like such, the actual offices of the hall were along the outer walls of the first floor. The evidence was that aside from the first floor, the rest of the several floors up were hollow save the balconies and ringing catwalks.

“Why, thank you darling. I do pride myself on my sense of design after all. I cannot say the same for you however, what with all that green.” Rarity sniped with a playful grin, and Anthon pretended to be insulted, putting his snout in the air.

“Hmph! The audacity! Green is the superior color! In fact, I wish my fur was green rather than russet. Then again, being a tertiary color perfectly between oranges and purples, it matches most greens and reds on the color wheel. You're just jealous of my superior color coordination.” Anthon flamboyantly posed in graceful motions, emphasizing the contrast of his russet fur with his green shirt and pants.

This got an amused giggle out of the fashionista. “Oh~ quit it you! I know quite a bit about color coordination, and somehow you make green work darling...even if it is the ugliest color.” She barbed as she went back to tying ribbons on the pillars, as she was almost done already, he knew this and decided instead to have some banter.

“If it is, indeed, the ugliest color, then I must truly be amazing to make it look good. So, my fair Rarity. Might I assume that you're flirting with me?” Anthon's voice because cleanly changed to that of an upper-crust noble, and Rarity looked at him in blushing surprise, both for the taunt and the impressive change in tone.

“Well! I never!” Rarity didn't deny it though, letting it hang as she smiled to herself, glad to have someone with sharp wit to clash against in friendly banter.

“Wow! This place is amazing!” They turned their attention to the voice, seeing Twilight only...her hair was so ridiculous, curled and whirled and puffed out of itself, Anthon was nearly as disturbed as Rarity upon the sight of it. “I'm glad to see you've gotten the décor done. That's one thing off the list. Oh, hello Anthon. Applejack was wondering where you went.”

“THIS CANNOT STAND!” Rarity interrupted anything else, suddenly levitating a surprised twilight into the air, trotting out the door with her. “I MUST give you an emergency makeover IMMEDIATELY!”

“HELP!” Twilight cried in terror as she was carried off against her will, Spike somehow levitating after them himself, followed by popping ethereal manifestations of hearts.

Anthon stood there for a while, trying to comprehend what just happened. And decided. 'Magic=fuck logic.'

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Since he didn't have plans, his friends were all busy now and such, he decided to head to the library to pick up his weapons. He'd forgotten his sword, knife, and kukri there since the first night. Didn't want somepony just taking them. But when he entered the front door, he instead found the place fully decorated for a full-tilt Pinkie Party, and he nearly panicked. “Pinkie...who is this for? New unicorn?”

“Yeppers! I made this part just for her, and since she's going to be staying here, it's perfect to hold the party here!” Pinkie blew a party favor, and Anthon started having a contained panic attack.

“She's staying here? The place my front door leads to?” Anthon's rhetorical question took the wind out of the balloon Pinkie was blowing up, and she suddenly realized how busted the pretty-serious-secret-special-spacial-Doorway would be.

“Oh...um...she'll have to be let in on the secret?” Pinkie beamed, and Anthon groaned as he rubbed the bridge of his snout in annoyance.

“Whatever, I'm getting my blades in my house then.” Anthon went upstairs, retrieved his up-scaled weapons, and unceremoniously tossed them into his house right at the couch in the living room that faced the front door. He then debated going to his room in his house to while away the hours until near sunrise...but then again; he had no idea when exactly sunrise was here, it might not by synchronized with his world's day/night cycle, even if it is pretty damn close.

Then again, it'd been a long time since he'd read an actual book. He went back downstairs as other ponies began coming in, Pinkie didn't invite him on his request to be excluded from large parties, and judging from the number of ponies; it was going to be big and loud; two things he didn't like. So he quickly looked for a book that might interest him, and sure enough he found a book on minotaur culture, something quite relevant to him now. 'If I'm going to blend in I better try my hardest to.'

Anthon took it out, and noticed that the whole library was purely alphabetical based on title, no separation of subject matter, or fiction from non-fiction, or author, so on. 'Madness...I'll have to introduce the Dewy Decimal System to these ponies to help keep these sorts of institutions orderly. Finding something must be infuriating.'

With his book in hand, he retreated upstairs to the bedroom, where he closed the door and began to read. He didn't know what time it was, or how much time had passed, but that's the blessing and curse of being a binge reader. However, his absorption of knowledge was halted by an irate lavender unicorn bursting into the room, and slamming the door behind her with a huff, only for her to pause at seeing him sitting with a book open on the bed.

“...What are you doing up here?” She asked accusingly, and he rolled his eyes.

“Well, Twilight, I happen to be staying here at the moment. Not by choice mind you, as my circumstances have led me to find myself in a period of transition. A new stage of my life if you will.” He went back to his book, trying to ignore the mare, but she was insistent and pulled the book from his grasp quickly yet gently to avoid damaging it, getting a glare from him which she returned.

“While I appreciate someone else displaying an interest in knowledge, I have to ask you to leave. I am to be staying here by order of Princess Celestia during my visit to Ponyville.” She expected him to heed her, and leave, only for him to huff.

“And this affects me how?” Anthon's flippant disregard for her words made Twilight balk, and he grunted before he took off his shirt, and held it out to her. “Put this on, I have something I need to show you.”

“Wh-what? Why? And won't that shirt smell like-?” Twilight zipped her lips when he glared at her even harder, and deciding not to upset the burly, muscular minotaur, she awkwardly took the massive cotton garment in her magic, and fed her head through the neck of it, as well as her forelegs through the arms. It draped on her like a robe, and she had to use her magic to bunch up the stomach of it so she didn't step on it. “Okay...what are...you...?”

She wasn't answered as he walked past her, opened the door, and turned right, the opposite of the way downstairs. “Hey! I looked at the floor plan of this place before I got here, there's nothing that way save...a....” Twilight froze as she saw him standing before an out-of-place brown mahogany door in a living oak tree, where everything was made of oak. He grabbed the oddly pony-unfriendly knob, and turned, getting a loud click as the tight, nearly grating latch opened. When he opened the door, Twilight's eyes widened at the improbability.

A home. A home inside a closet. “Welcome to my home Twilight Sparkle. Mind the first step, it's rather disorientating.” Then he entered, and where there was once a mighty minotaur, there was now a clearly unhealthy and overweight upright primate with no fur, save the dark patches along his chest and the mop of a mane on his head. “Well? I can't explain with you standing out there.”

“W-will it hurt?” Twilight asked as she used her magic to scan the Doorway, fascinated at the readings she was getting. “Amazing...this is a stable Discordant-Class spacial disruption! Why hasn't the academy been notified of this?”

“Because the anomaly only occurred a few days ago, and has persisted since then. Now, are you going to come in or do I have to pull you in like I did that Royal Guard Captain?” At his words, he got a look of acknowledgment from the mare.

“You met Shiny?” She asked, and with that she idly stepped into the Doorway, not considering what she was doing until she was through, and wobbled on her sudden position of standing on two unfamiliar legs. Thankfully, for some reason, his shirt remained the same size it was when he wore it as a minotaur...he still couldn't understand how his house worked it's mysterious magics.

She was basically like Rarity, but her breasts were obviously much larger, near AJ's size actually. Her straight long hair draped down her back over her ample rear like a cascade of dark purple streaked with pink, and her sharp, intelligent features were quite mesmerizing. She also had a healthy tan like her brother, odd, considering her bookish nature. Must be the genetics. “Welcome to the other side of the Doorway. You'll adjust quickly if prior experience has anything to say.”

Twilight looked down at herself, and wiggled her fingers in awe. If she hadn't seen Anthon change from a minotaur into one of these beings, she'd likely be sitting on the floor, squealing like a scared little girl right now. However, when she looked at her green cloth-covered mams, she was about to grope them curiously when he informed her they were teats, and she quickly abandoned exploration, she was a scientist, not a pervert. “What's going on here? I mean, this is amazing, but...I have so many questions.” Suddenly, her horn flared and a notepad and pen flew through the air from his mom's computer desk in her study adjacent the kitchen and living room. “Huh? I was trying to conjure a scroll and quill.”

“Okay, we'll start there. Perhaps with an intellectual to help me with this, we can define the base differences in magic between your world and mine. We've got a lot to cover before the celebration in the morning. Want some salad?”

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It was incredibly refreshing to speak with someone as smart as Twilight Sparkle. She asked all the important questions, and while she tended to go off on tangents and make wild theories to be proven later, she helped him deduce many things he'd been completely lost on since this all started.

The magic of the Doorways was isolated as the source being from his side of the connection, meaning either somehow he, or the house itself had spawned them, and sought out the most relevant links through the ether between realms in response to how he perceived each door subconsciously.

He viewed the front door as being a gate to possibility, and what held more possibility than knowledge? So it linked to Golden Oaks library. He was lucky it did so, because if he wound up in the Royal Archives, things would have gone south fast for him according to Twilight.

He always saw the garage door as being a grand, generally unwanted expanse, as he rarely ever used it and the noise of it kept him up. So it was linked to a mountainside; a source of both scenic joy for him, and trepidation at the height of it.

His “pet pantry” was simple, because he viewed it as the source of food for animals, it led to a place abundant with wild animals, such as a deep forest.

The crawlspace was a bit more esoteric. In it he stored old memories, childhood keepsakes and things often forgotten, as he admitted to having poor long-term memory. So it was a barren dirt desert; a representation that something else was here once, and now it is barren, dead, forgotten or uncared for.

His parent's room was also simple. He viewed it as a safe haven, a place to go for guidance and protection, where all in the house were welcome. So it leading to Fluttershy's was absolutely understandable when he described her as being a motherly caretaker that could make the most bitter person smile under her care.

Simply speaking of the upstairs bath nearly sent Anthon into a panic attack, requiring Twilight to talk him through some breathing exercises. He'd always hated that bathroom, as he'd had nightmares of using the tub, only for it to fall through the floor and kill him, or in reverse; fall through the ceiling and kill him as he bathed in his own bathroom. It connected to his most potent fear; heights. He refused to keep speaking of it, and Twilight moved on.

The guest room leading to a winter wonderland was the oddity, as he said he had little attachment to the room itself, but rather that it was the place his visiting family stayed when on vacation and didn't want to get a hotel. With some prompting, he admitted it probably had to do with his love of his family, and since one of his most cherished memories he would never forget was the one time he was snowed in on the east coast; the whole town buried under several feet of snow. A beautiful sight he'd cherish to his death. It was grasping at straws, but the Doorway decided to use the wintery region to reflect his good memories.

Last, his dad's office led to a dark cave, studded with glowing fungus and gemstones. He hated his father's desperation to cling to the past, how it left his life barren, and devoid of purpose. The cave represented the false hope of riches and the depths one can fall to trying to obtain them, getting lost on the way.

This cinched it; Anthon made the portals, the Doorways were the catalysts.

Anthon was besides himself in astonishment, he didn't even consider that HE did it.... “How? I mean...there's no magic in this world, not that any knew of....”

“And you, Anthon, are the lucky one in who knows how many who accidentally tapped into his magic on a despairing desire for a change.” Twilight smiled as she continued to take notes, having recorded the whole conversation from start to finish, and having filled a good bit of the small notepad. “Don't feel so shocked about it now that you know Anthon. Unicorns can do all kinds of damage when they have their first flares of magic.”

“But making Doorways to a complete FUCKING alternate universe?! That just...doesn't make sense!” Anthon griped, groaning as he rubbed his temples. “Ugh...ponies...drive me crazy....”

“Welcome to Equestria. Get used to it.” Twilight stated slyly.

“Hey, Twilight?” They heard Spike's muffled voice, and then they heard the scrabbling of him trying to reach the knob of the admittedly large door by Equestrian standards. “Ugh, why is this door so big? Twilight? I heard you in there, why are you in a closet?”

“Reasons! What is it Spike?” Twilight asked as she approached the door, Anthon following. He just noticed with a snicker how the huge shirt was like a nightshirt, ending halfway down her thighs.

“It's almost sunrise! Are ya really gonna miss it?” Twilight opened the door, causing a lampshade wearing Spike to gawk at them. “Wh-who are you? Where's Twilight?”

“It is me Spike. No time to...oh no!” Twilight rounded on Anthon, and began ineffectively pounding on his chest since she was a bit shorter than him. “You jerk! You distracted me from my problems with interesting data!”

“Ow, hey, what? Jeez, cut it out! The moobs are sensitive!” He shielded himself from her onslaught until she huffed and moaned in despair.

“Now what am I going to do? Nightmare Moon is supposed to return soon, and I'm no closer to having a clue how to save the world from eternal night!” The last two words caught Anthon's attention.

“Really? Eternal night?” He asked interested, and she turned around to look at him.

“Yes, eternal night. Robbing us of the sun for all eternity.” Twilight was disturbed that he seemed to grow excited at the prospect.

“No sun blinding my eyes? No sunlight burning my skin? No more busybodies getting all hopped-up on vitamin D to annoy me?” Anthon stopped, and then frowned. “No sun, no heat, no vitamin D...lack of energy, nutrition, encroaching freezing cold, and if somehow, life persisted for generations, eventual blindness.... This Moony character doesn't think things through I think.”

“Exactly. So...I know it's a lot to ask, but if things go to plop, I could use some help from a strong minotaur.” Twilight instantly knew it would be a good idea to have some muscle, even if against Nightmare he couldn't do anything.

“Yeah, I hope to make Equestria my new home away from home. I don't want it to freeze over after I just discovered it. Onward my lady, I will follow closely.” They departed through the door, Anthon closing it behind them.

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Anthon got his shirt back before they had even gone downstairs, and then followed the crowds to town hall. Anthon was incredibly uncomfortable with the enormous crowds, and stayed to the back with Twilight. He mostly tried to keep calm and ignored the others as he took out his phone, and looked at the time. A few moments before sunrise at 5:30-ish on the 21st of June, 2010. The Summer Solstice...huh...he hardly paid attention to that since the States didn't have a holiday on it like most other countries.

Mayor Mare drew attention to herself on stage. “Welcome ladies and gentlecolts! To the Summer Sun Celebration!” Everypony cheered save Twilight and Anthon, who instead looked around warily.

“Oh no....” Anthon looked to Twilight at her despairing statement, and she pointed a hoof up and out a window. He looked up, and saw four huge stars moving in and around the huge moon, which he just noticed had a very distinct dark imprint on the face in the shape of a unicorn head, but when the stars hid behind it, the shape was gone, and the moon became as blank as the one he knew from back home, making his eyes widen.

“Without further ado, please give a warm welcome to our benevolent ruler; Princess Celestia!” At Mayor's statement, Fluttershy's songbird choir started up, and Rarity pulled the rope next to her up on the balcony Celestia was supposed to be behind, only for her not to be there.

“I think the apocalypse just kicked off. What should we do Twilight?” While everypony else was panicking, Anthon turned to Twilight for a plan of action, and she seemed lost too. When he was about to try and get her to give him an answer, everything grew darker as a nebula of ether spawned up on the balcony, forming into an alicorn darker than the night, her hair the night sky brought to life, garbed in armor a silvery blue of a full moon on a clear night. “Twilight, I'm going to get up there, and try to wrestle her into submission, you draw her attention.”

“What? No! Anthon!” Twilight whispered harshly at him as he ducked into the shadows while Nightmare was focused on the ponies. His natural and acquired stealth from moving in heavy boots all the time carried over to his new form, his hooves barely clicking as he seemed to glide over the wood stairs and floors of the balconies. Soon, he was behind her, and Twilight was playing for time by questioning her the plausibility of an eternal night that didn't eventually kill them all.

However, when it seemed Nightmare was about to lash out, he pounced on her in a full-body tackle, wrapping his arms around her neck, getting a shocked whinny out of her as he crashed her through the railing, and spun around into an improvised body slam into the first floor where the ponies scattered from the impact point. It was just then as the adrenaline high dropped, that he realized he'd jumped off the second floor, and clung tightly to the groaning mare for comfort. “Heights...just...second floor...jumped....”

“Who...dares? Nightmare looked back over her shoulder at the cowering minotaur, both upset, yet bewildered how he'd tackled her bravely, and yet now cowered and held her like a lifeline. “Unhand me you brainless bull!” She tried to wriggle free, but he'd pinned her wings, she couldn't move with him against her back, and each attempt to move tightened his hold on her neck, choking her. “Re...lease...me!” She started to black out until she remembered her magic, and quickly cast the first thing to mind, blinding everypony in a flash of dark blue light.

Author's Note

And thus does the story TRULY begin, as Anthon is becoming more and more absorbed into the world he apparently accidentally sought out on his own initiative.

Magical surge, scary stuff no?

Fortune Favors The Bulled

Anthon didn't know what happened. He remembered tackling Nightmare Moon, then he was struck with blind, debilitating panic, and then nothing. Was he dead? No, he could feel the cold hard ground under him, and he was pretty sure that unless he was in hell, whatever version Equestria may have, he shouldn't be feeling anything so unpleasant. “Rise, bull.”

At the husky feminine voice's beckoning order, Anthon instinctively did as he was told, and pushed himself up from his prone position on the floor to be standing. He noted he was now in some sort of crumbling castle ruin, the exposed full giant moon overhead lighting it all in silvery moonlight. It was beautiful. “Glorious.”

“Indeed, worshiper of the night.” Anthon turned his head towards Nightmare, oddly not feeling at all afraid, or worried. Like he knew she wouldn't hurt him for some reason. “To think, that the bull who assaulted me was a devotee, if not to me; then my night. I suppose I am fortunate to have cast the allegiance spell in my panic. How does it feel my servant? Being a balrog?”

At her question, Anthon finally registered that he indeed felt different...even more powerful. He looked at his hands, seeing his once russet fur had become a dark night blue, and when he saw he was naked, he saw the change was a full one. His once blond long fur was now a contrasting silvery gray like the moon, he grabbed a lock of his hair to see that it too was the same color. Then he inspected his horns, and the once upright curved horns had instead curled back and then forward, making his horns more suited to ramming than puncturing like a ram's horns, but still his original white and smooth bovine horns, just curled so they'd be less likely to break should he charge something.

“Mm, yes, the transformation was a very smooth one. You must truly love the night. You've even gained the eyes.” Nightmare then summoned an ornate mirror, showing that his once round-pupil blue eyes had become slitted, yet remained their deep blue from before. “This return to Equestria is turning out even better than I'd hoped! Even a thousand years of my sun-loving sister ruling, and still there are those who truly cherish my night! My vassal, I have need of your services. Your queen has a task for you.”

Anthon didn't resist, didn't feel the need to as he knelt and bowed his head to his mistress. “Yes my queen? How may I be of service?”

“There are meddlers coming here, trying to seek out the only tools capable of defeating me. They have already begun breaching my illusions at the edge of the forest, but I must remain here as I attune my magic to keep the planet's rotation stopped. Rather than waste effort dividing my attention between my task and stopping them; I want you to stop them by any means necessary.” Nightmare's horn lit up, and she cast a veil over him.

Soon, he was wearing a full suit of armor in the same style as her own, unadorned with any ornamentation save it's silver-blue coloration. It was smooth and form-fitting to his muscular frame, and had a short chainmail kilt to further protect his groin considering most species on the planet would be about level with his pelvis. Beside him spawned a mighty weapon of the same material, with the head on the stone tile, was a great spiked maul big enough to put most warhammers to shame. The head was actually shaped like a wedge with shredding spikes coming from the sides. This weapon was meant to smash, cleave, and perforate it's victims all at once.

“Now go! Be as swift as the shadows you now embody and bring me these pony's heads!” Nightmare demanded, and Anthon grasped the great maul in his hand before standing.

“Understood.” Using his new instincts, he focused a presence unfamiliar to him into his maul, seeing it begin to shimmer with wisps of shadow, and he impulsively willed it to bring him before the foals who dared displease his mistress. He lifted the maul slightly, and tapped it back to the floor. The action spawned a pool of shadow beneath him which he swiftly sank into, leaving Nightmare to cackle in victory.

“Those foals will not know what hit them! The first balrog since the mythic age now hunts them! They will be helpless before his might and fires of shadow! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha~!”

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'What am I doing here?' Anthon asked, looking around in confusion. His night vision was good before, but now the dark was just as clear as if it were in broad daylight. 'I don't see them.' Anthon was about to berate his maul for misfiring his spell, when he heard voices up above. He looked up the sheer cliff, and noticed how many faults were in it. “A good strike should do it.” Anthon grasped his maul, and reared it back with both hands on the haft. He waited until it sounded like they were close enough, and then smashed the head of the maul into the nearest fault in the cliff.

It quickly shattered as the whole cliff face began crumbling, and he sprinted away from the ensuing rockslide with a speed belying his size and the weight of his equipment. He only stopped running when the sounds of the collapsing cliff ended, and he turned to look at his handiwork through the trees. “Now to investigate if that got them.” Anthon was about to head back when he was pounced on from behind and pinned to the forest floor with a grunt.

*ROAR!* Anthon instinctively elbowed the offending creature, and pushed himself to his hooves as he spun around to confront his attacker. It was a manticore, one with a scabbed over cut on it's left cheek which had cracked open and was bleeding again.

“Oh...you again. Time I finish what I started.” Anthon began strafing, the beast doing the same, seeing him as a dangerous opponent, and also scenting that he was the one who hurt him before. Anthon took the initiative as he bellowed and charged the beast, which leaped at him in response. The manticore tried to dig it's claws into him, but Anthon had opted to keep pushing, his intended charge may have been halted, but the beast had foolishly left itself wide open. He swung his maul up into the creature's exposed stomach, instantly making it screech in the horrid pain of having it's organs pulverized, and backed away, only for Anthon to decisively finish the creature with a swift downward strike of his maul to it's head, pulping the beast's skull and spraying blood everywhere as the fresh corpse limply collapsed to the forest floor.

“AH~!” At the shrill squeal of terror, Anthon shot his vision to the left, his helm flicking some of the blood that spattered all over him to the dirt. The source of said wail was none other than Fluttershy, who was utterly horrified to have just witnessed a poor, innocent creature being viciously executed. The rest of the group was similarly scared at the sight, but more on the fact that this was their friend; what had Nightmare done to him?

“So, you survived. How quaint.” Anthon yanked his maul free of the body's head, the thing dripped in fresh sanguine. “Hmph, I'll just have to deal with you personally. I have orders to bring your heads to my queen. Try not to make me miss and ruin your faces, the queen does like her examples to have frozen expressions of terror.”

“Anthon! I know you're under an allegiance spell! If you just calm down I can-AH!” Twilight barely dodged a bolt of shadow that launched from Anthon's maul, said bolt pierced clean into a tree like an arrow before dissipating. “He's been turned into a balrog! Girls, don't stay still, don't let him hit you! Run!” Twilight teleported as a wider blast of shadow impacted where she'd been before, and Anthon quickly charged at Applejack, who gasped as she jumped back moments before his maul struck dirt, cratering the soil.

By instinct, she spun around and bucked him in the head as hard as she could. “S-sorry 'bout that!” AJ shouted as she ran away, just avoiding a retaliatory sweep of his weapon as he roared in anger.

“Hey meat-head!” Dash shouted from behind, just a split second before she flew forehooves first into the back of his head. “Wake up!”

“I'm sorry dear, but you're not in the right of mind!” Rarity shouted as she grasped his maul in her magic, slowing his swing at Dash enough that she was able to drop out of the air and jump to safety, but Rarity screamed in pain as she let go; his strength too much for her spell to overpower him.

“You are truly irritating!” As he got angrier, flames of shadow began leaking from the creases in his armor, his eyes smouldered with cold blue fire, and he was about to cast a spell his instincts told him was good for crowd control, when the unexpected happened.

The butter yellow pegasus, the one who had squealed in fear, suddenly hugged him around the neck. “You poor thing! What has she done to you~?!” The others shouted for her to get away, but her action was doing something unusual. “Calm down sweetie, you're with friends now. That meanie can't hurt you here.” She rubbed the back of his neck, one of the few unarmored parts of him, and he was surprised at himself when he felt his tension ease up, his growing fury abated, and he began calming down.

'What? What's going on? Why is this mare doing this?' Anthon was trying to resist, but for some reason he felt compelled to listen to her words. It got worse when she started humming a lullaby, and his eyes got heavy. 'Who is she? Who could possibly be possessed of such Kindness?' He felt tired...so tired. He slowly fell to his knees, then lowered to the ground until he was prone, and closed his eyes.

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A flash of purple in the darkness, and Anthon gasped as he shot up. He was confused, why was he in a forest? Wasn't he just in the town hall? “What happened? How'd I get here?”

“Anthon!” At Fluttershy's surprisingly loud tone, he turned his head to the disturbingly blood-stained mare, weeping in relief as she promptly hugged his snout to her chest as she hovered with her wings. “We were so wor-he-he-heed~! When Nightmare Moon took you, I thought you were gone forever-her-her~!” Anthon reached his hands up to try to placate her, only to notice the blood sopping his dark blue hands.

“Wh-?” He pulled away from the worried mare, and looked around. He was now nude again, but the blood he'd shed coated him just the same, and when he saw the mutilated manticore behind his friends, he quickly connected the dots. He turned away, leaned over, and promptly vomited the contents of his stomach. He'd never killed another living being, and he knew that the damning evidence clearly pointed him out as having been the one to do the deed. He cried as he shuddered, and Shy was quickly hugging his filthy face again, crying but determined to calm him down.

“Shh, it's okay. You didn't do it intentionally.” Shy cooed gently with mucus only slightly hampering her voice, letting him weep into her chest as his other friends all looked on in sadness. “It wasn't your fault. Shh, just let it out.” He lowered into his own mess, whimpering as he let the kind mare attempt to soothe him.

“It wasn't you Anthon.” Twilight's voice drew his watery red eyes to the lavender mare, who resolutely stood firm in the face of his despair. “You were under the influence of an allegiance spell. You were basically Nightmare Moon's slave. She used your love of the night to take control of you. Can you remember anything you did since you tackled her in town hall?”

“N-no...I can't. Nothing comes to mind.” 'Seriously, what? I thought magic was wonderful, but it can really do things like this? I...I suddenly want to go home and take a good, long cry.' He sniffled as he tried to hold it together. 'That bitch needs to pay! Eternal night, what a crock! We need the sun, and she tainted my view of this world!'

“Then you're not at fault. According to some of the oldest laws we have; any who were under the influence of an allegiance or compulsion spell are not guilty of their actions should they have no memory of them once the spell is broken.” Twilight's words were comforting, he trusted her, he trusted all of them. They were his friends.

“Go on home Anthon. Y'all have been through enough.” AJ implored as she approached and nuzzled him, not caring about how filthy he was.

“Indeed. You head on back and get yourself cleaned up. We'll take things from here.” Rarity said as she cast a cleaning spell on him, getting the blood and refuse out of his fur.

“Yeah, you deserve a break. A champ's gotta know when to take it easy.” Dash added. “But on the plus side of all this? You were SO AWESOME!” Her gush over how epic he was as a bad guy got leers from the others, but it made him laugh in relief; they really didn't think any worse of him.

“Yeah, you just turn that frown upside-down mister! I'll throw you a small don't-feel-bad-because-you-were-brainwashed party when this is all over!” Pinkie's words just made Anthon laugh even harder, some happy tears joining the sorrowful ones.

“Ha-ha-ha~! You wish!” Anthon quickly got himself standing, grinning to reveal his new fangs as he punched his fists together. “Not leaving you hanging! I was going to have to hunt down some monsters for the town anyway, so let's just call this a baptism in blood! I'll help out however I can!” 'You girls...you're too wonderful for me to just let you go on your own.' “I had to get manticore venom for the hospital as it is anyhow, so I'll just harvest the venom sacs after we deal with that bitch Nightmare!”

The girls all looked worriedly at him as Rarity also cast a cleaning spell on Shy to clean the blood, snot, and other icky things from her. But his determined expression convinced them; he wasn't going to leave them anytime soon.

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“And then you were all like-I'M GETTING ANGRY! And fwoosh! You lit on FIRE! Well, with black fire! That's even cooler!” Dash was hamming up how cool he was all dressed in armor, slaying a manticore and fending them off. Anthon knew she was doing it to downplay his actions, and he appreciated it. But....

“Dash, I heard you the last five times. I know I'm awesome.” Anthon still had a shit-eating grin and struggled to contain his chuckles, letting Dash know her idea to cheer him up worked.

“So how is it that Anthon can now use dark magic anyhow Twilight? You said he was now a balrog?” Rarity asked Twilight, catching everyone's attention as they continued to trek towards the castle where the Elements of Harmony, the only thing said to be able to defeat Nightmare were kept.

“Yes. Balrogs are, or rather; were, an extinct race of minotaur that could channel magic embodying a physical element of the world. Like fire, water, wind, shadow for instance. They were all characterized with their magic behaving like fire however, as the fire balrogs were the first, and last of their kind.” Twilight stated before she looked back to her latest friend. She didn't know him for more than a few hours, but she cared about him already, something she never felt before aside from her brother Shining, Cadence, and Spike. “I'm so sorry Anthon. You're not even from this world, now who knows what Nightmare's transformation of you will do for your home.”

Anthon paused for a second, before sighing and continuing to follow. “If it comes down to it, I guess I'll have to really live here, and use my house as a way to correspond with my family. We'll see Twilight. For all I know the spells woven on my Doorways could very well find a loophole.”

“Well be that as it may darling, know that we're here for you.” After a few more minutes of walking in the dark, it felt like they weren't making any progress. “Ugh..why is it taking so long? I'm tired of seeing all this muck.” At Rarity's statement, everything suddenly went pitch dark for everypony, since Anthon could still see, and the mares all screamed. “I didn't mean literally!”

“Careful what you wish for Rarity, I would know.” 'It got me here...admittedly with amazing company, but still.' Then they kept screaming, running around. Anthon blinked in confusion, he and Pinkie seemed to be the only ones unaffected, but it seemed that while Pinkie just made light of whatever was going on, he simply wasn't affected at all. “Why are you all freaking out?”

His voice fell on deaf ears, and he rolled his eyes as Pinkie starting a musical number got their attention. 'Music seems to have incredible power here...I wonder....' Anthon ignored her silly song and took out his phone, bringing up Slacker, and smirked as he selected Edguy – Superheroes.

Upon it starting up almost right after Pinkie's number, somehow echoing clear as day without an extra speaker, they all perked up, Dash especially. When Anthon started singing the lead and leading them on, when it hit the chorus, the girls all joined him in instinctive knowing of when to add to the song. It essentially charged them all with bravado, getting them pumped and excited.

It was also fitting for their situation, and helped ease their nerves, especially for Anthon, who was still getting over the guilt of killing that creature in cold blood. By the time the song drew to an end, they came upon a roiling river. They didn't see what the cause was, but Anthon proposed Dash and Shy carry them all across one at a time. However, they refused to leave him alone out here, not trusting Nightmare not to try and reclaim him without Twilight around to counter another allegiance spell.

Thankfully, any further debate was countered by the sounds of a total ham sobbing himself hysterical up the river. There was crying, and then there was just hamming it up. This sounded clearly like the latter from the tone of whoever this was. Anthon had turned Slacker off and pocketed his phone, not trusting whatever magic that powered it now to keep it from being destroyed by water. They followed the river until they came to the source of the disturbance; a writhing pompous sea serpent with far too much hair to be natural.

'Don't laugh, don't talk, don't even listen. Because you'll crack up.' Anthon told himself as he turned away and tried to ignore the conversation. Some of Rarity's words nearly made him laugh, but by the end of it, he heard the others calling to him, and he turned back around, having pretended to be looking at his phone the whole while, and noticed the serpent holding his large hands out, offering to move him across the river since Anthon was too big to just use his body as a bridge like the others.

He accepted and got quickly moved over the river, it was a novel experience. When asked what he was doing with his phone, he said he was considering playing another song, but Twilight said they needed to be focused right now, and they all agreed to hold off any any more music.

When they soon came in sight of the castle, Twilight about galloped right towards it, but with his height vantage Anthon could see that she was heading for a cliff, so he dashed after her and scooped her up moments before she would've ran right off in the low mist obscuring her vision. “Whoa...um...thanks Anthon.”

“Not a problem Twi. Not going to let anyone fall...to...their....” Anthon suddenly fell over backwards, clutching Twilight to his chest like she was a big stuffed doll. “Big drop. Big drop...rickety bridge....”

The others all gathered around him, not knowing what was wrong and trying to pry his arms open, save Fluttershy who tried to calm him down from his panic attack of realizing he almost ran right off a cliff. Sure, it was to save Twilight but adrenaline did wonderful things for bravery. “Everypony stop! Anthon has acute acrophobia! He needs to be moved away from the cliff, and then calmed down.”

The others all helped drag him back the way they came until the cliff was hardly noticeable, and then after platitudes from his friends Anthon was able to calm down and let Twilight go. “I'm...so sorry...I came all this way with you only to end up useless at the gate.” Anthon sniffled as he tried to keep calm. “I'm sorry....”

“Don't be. We're really close, so we doubt Nightmare will waste time trying to collect you. We'll get the elements and settle this! Just stay here, you'll be fine.” Twilight asserted, and then looked to the others, getting them to follow her to the bridge to find that it was out, and getting Rainbow to fly across to tie it back up.

Anthon sulked in his spot, feeling useless. He felt this way until he saw flashes of light in the castle, and could hear the girls screaming Twilight's name. 'No!' He bolted to his feet, and ran for the bridge, but he froze as suddenly the bridge was cut. He looked to the other end, seeing Nightmare smirking at him in victory, before she turned to smoke and reentered the castle. “YOU BITCH!”

Even if he had the bravery and recklessness adrenaline gave him, he couldn't feasibly cross now! Unless.... He snapped his fingers, waved his hands, tried to pull at that new sensation he supposed was magic, but he couldn't do anything! “I have to get there!” His element was shadow, it was night, what MORE could he need? A focus? No time! A concentration of shadow? He ran for the nearest tree, feeling his energy swell just being in the shade, but it wasn't enough! “Darkness! I need darkness! But where can I get darkness...deep...enough.... Deep.”

Anthon ran for the ledge looking down into the abyss of the canyon separating the castle from the rest of the Everfree. His heart pounded, his mind and irrational fear screaming at him to get away. At the very bottom, he could see nothing. Nothing at all with his see-in-the-dark eyes.

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It was over...Twilight tried her best but it was over. The Elements were now shattered, laying at Nightmare's hooves like plain stone. “Ha, ha, ha! Foal, did you really think that after so long of being dry that the Elements could get a charge from such a pitiful spark! You know not the true nature of the Elements! And now, with them broken; the night, will last, FOREVER~!” Nightmare spread her wings and cackled in victory.

Twilight lost all hope, she couldn't believe it. The world was counting on them and she failed.

“BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH~!” Suddenly, to both her and Nightmare's surprise, Anthon launched out of the shadow of a pillar to the side of the large chamber like a cannonball, and bulldozed the formerly celebrating alicorn with all the impact force of a truck. Sending her flying clear into the opposite wall, and through it. Collapsing that wall as that killed it's last legs. Anthon stood panting, sweat poured down his body, adrenaline the likes of which he'd never known flowed through him like fire in his veins. “THAT'S FOR MAKING ME HAVE TO JUMP YOU CUNT!”

“A-Anthon?! How did you get here?! You don't have a focus or enough practice with your magic to use a shadow portal!” Twilight was dumbfounded. Clearly Anthon had immense potential just from the fact he created the Doorways on accident, but to use a shadow portal when he'd JUST gained these new powers?

“Had to jump into the fucking chasm! Not enough darkness nearby nearly that potent! Couldn't let things be when I heard the others screaming out for you!” Anthon shouted, his adrenaline high still pumping. He'd just faced his ultimate fear, and took the plunge for her.

Upon this realization, and hearing the voices of her other new friends, Twilight gasped deeply as her eyes dilated, and a Spark ignited within her.

“Traitor!” Nightmare screamed as she flew back in through the collapsed wall, horn lowered to gore him. In response, Anthon roared as he charged right back at her, and ducked under her before flexing his glorious muscular torso, and ramming her with his rearing head right in her peytral. The armor practically caved into her chest as she was flung up into the air, causing her to cough up blood, before he jumped up at her, and delivered a fierce haymaker into her ribs, feeling a couple give from the strike, causing her to emit a garbled scream as she was launched back towards the dais in the room. After he landed, Anthon fell to his knees as his adrenaline rush ended, and all his energy left him.

The girls were all gawking at the smackdown he'd just laid on Nightmare Moon, but Twilight cut to the chase and explained things to them as he bought them time.

“You...dangerous bull...where did you come from?” Nightmare gasped out as she rose from the floor, her injuries rapidly healing as she coughed and undid her ruined peytral, letting the chest armor fall to the floor with a clang. “Not even your ancestors were fierce enough to manage to even land a blow upon me. And yet you strike me not once, not twice, but four times within a day...who are you?”

He was about to tell her as he got up, but he paused. It felt oddly...empty. “...My birth name is Anthon Robinson. Yet...that doesn't feel right all of a sudden.” At his confused words, Nightmare hissed and bared her fangs.

“So you discovered your defining trait have you? No wonder, a minotaur or balrog is most dangerous upon discovering their most potent characteristic. I heard what you did, knew of your fear, but now it has backlashed upon me.” She snorted as she prepared to charge. “Any last words Brave? Now that I won't be holding back?”

At her calling him Brave, he gasped, his eyes widening as suddenly everything felt right, and he grinned, Nightmare's eyes becoming worried at her making another mistake with this bull. “Yes. Fuck you, I'm Brave.” He felt such an absurd amount of pride and energy course through him upon acknowledging it. Embracing the concept, he felt ten times stronger, like he could lift a damn building with his pinkies. “FUCK YEAH~!” He leaped at her as adrenaline began spiking through him like before, only now he could hold onto it!

“Oh buck!” Nightmare cried out as she flapped her wings and evaded his double-jump-kick and saw it knock the heavy dais free of the floor, and skid it to the back windows like a hockey puck. “Face my magic!” Nightmare's mane spread out, and the stars within rapidly grew brighter before launching in a hail of lasers.

Brave felt like time was moving so slow, he wasn't moving all that much faster, but his reflexes were skyrocketing, his perception of the world around him slowed to a crawl as he moved just slightly faster than the rest of it. The bombardment of lasers was practically a challenge rather than a fearsome volley as instead of running, or hiding, he faced it. He ducked, weaved, and rolled through it, taking some hits, avoiding most, and he jumped right into the spray with a devil-may-care grin of adrenaline-fueled madness, scaring Nightmare with his sudden lack of self-preservation as her attack burned his fur, seared his flesh, and scored off the tip of his left ear.

“GOT-YER-HORN!” Brave childishly bellowed as he grasped Nightmare's horn with both hands, and dragged her down to the floor screaming in terror as he drove her face-first into the floor, laughing like a madcow the whole time. “NOW LICK THE FLOOR! LICK IT!”

Brave's celebration was cut short by him and Nightmare being surrounded by a rainbow tornado. Before he could ask what was happening, suddenly Nightmare seemed to be shrinking, so he let her go, and he felt a sharp stinging sensation in his nose as his injuries all healed. After a few more seconds, Brave stood there, his adrenaline high gone and all the usual associated drawbacks not present. He wriggled his nose, feeling something off about it. He got his answered when he brought his left hand up, and gasped.

He had a nose ring. Brave went to the nearest window and wiped the dirt off to look at his reflection in the coming sunlight. A Bronze nose ring now adorned the nostrils of his black snout, it seemed simple enough save the Celtic boars engraved along it in a row running around it in a complete circle. Widdershins it seemed to him. To the Celts; the boar represented fertility, Bravery, and strength, but also stubbornness, war, and Chaos.

Fucking suited him perfectly!

“Ugh...Anthon? Anthon are you alright?” Twilight asked as she recovered, but when he turned to look at her, she gasped upon seeing the ring in his nose gleaming against the sunlight.

“Name's Bronze Brave now Twilight.” He replied with a proud grin. “Whatever happens, know this is my home now.” Bronze went about helping the girls all get up, and then went over to where Nightmare once was, to see a young teenager of much lighter tones in her place. “She's so small....”

“Who is she?” Pinkie asked in bewilderment and then pulled her trademark GASP. “If she's not Nightmare Moon I can hold a party for her!”

“That would be wonderful Pinkie Pie.” The matronly voice intoned through the very air, getting them all to startle as out of the sunlight formed a mare like Nightmare, save opposite in her brilliant white coat and tricolor ethereal hair. Where Nightmare wore silver-blue armor, all the armor this mare had was a golden peytral and shoes along with an elegant gold tiara. All the mares bowed to her without question, and Bronze simple folded his arms and nodded to her, getting a smirk and a raised eyebrow out of her. “You must be our visitor from another world. I am so sorry for not speaking with you sooner, but things were quite busy.”

“Hey, no problem milady. I'm a patient taur, I can wait.” Bronze then bowed his head slightly to her.

“Well it is a pleasure to meet you Bronze...?” She let hang, waiting for him to answer for her.

“Brave. Bronze Brave your majesty. Might I know of your name?” The mares were all quietly impressed with just how casual Bronze was being with her, especially the alicorn herself.

“I am Princess Celestia. You know, if I didn't know you weren't of this realm, I'd say you were indeed a natural born minotaur. You act just like most of them do.” Celestia commented, getting Bronze to smile sheepishly.

“Ah...that might be your world having a positive influence on me more than anything.” Bronze then looked down to the stirring young mare. “So who is she?”

“She is Princess Luna; my long lost sister.” Celestia informed, getting the mares to all gasp. “Luna, are you alright? I was watching the whole time through scrying, are you unhurt?”

“Oh~...sis...enlist that balrog to our elite guard force immediately...tis a farce if he wastes his potential....” Luna grinned as she looked to the balrog her lunar allegiance spell had awoken. “He is perhaps the first berserker in a long time. Hast there been any since my banishment?”

“Not for almost two hundred years, no. But he is not even of this world sister...what you did to him....” Celestia then looked back up at Bronze, who bowed his head in resignation. “Before we can celebrate, we must see what all of this has done to you, if your home will accept you as it did before.” With this, Celestia stood, and gestured everypony to come closer. When the Elements were all gathered around them, she teleported them all back to town.

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They'd arrived in the library, where they all took a moment to collect themselves, but Celestia led Bronze upstairs alone, since there was no way for so many ponies to gather in the hallway. “I sincerely hope my sister's possessed state has not caused you any permanent harm. She won't forgive herself if you cannot properly return home.” Celestia stated in worry as she looked between the reborn balrog and the heavy mahogany door. “This is it?” She scanned it, and nodded. “Indeed...this is one of the most stable portals I've ever seen.”

Bronze looked at the door for the first time since that first night in trepidation and fear. 'If I come out like the ponies do, with clear characteristics of what they really are; then I can't go home anymore. But even if that is so, I could still remain in contact with my family. That's all that matters.' Bronze steeled himself, and opened the door before briskly walking in. When he did so, Celestia was impressed at how he shrank and turned into seemingly some other creature.

But....

“No....” Bronze looked down, and he did not see the form of Anthon Robinson. Instead of an unhealthy pale fatty, he saw a ripped tanned bodybuilder that was analogous with his Equestrian form. He reached up and felt his nose ring had shrunk down to a human size, and he felt his horns at the top sides of his head, his messy mop of silvery hair was also a standout. “Well, that cinches it.” He turned around, and Celestia blushed vividly as he unintentionally flashed her, since he was naked. “I can't come back.” His eyes were slitted still, and he was a staggering eight feet tall. He was easy to spot out of a crowd. Bronze blinked in confusion as the princess continued to gawk at him. “What? Princess I know it's essentially bad news, but I'm alive, that's all that matters.”

“Why does your original species not have a sheath for the phallus?” Celestia asked in confusion, having never seen such a thing before. Bronze vividly blushed as he quickly tried to cover himself. Tried being the operative word.

“D-DON'T LOOK!” He turned around, trying to hide his new endowment from the royal authority figure, only to get a teasing wolf whistle which made his face turn redder, and he looked back to see Applejack standing next to the alicorn with a grin and wagging eyebrows, his other friends all similarly crowded around her to get a look at him in varying degrees of interest and concern. “PERVERTS!” He stomped over to the door and slammed it in their faces, huffing in indignation. “My friends are all perverts!”

He snorted and huffed in an all-too-bovine way for a moment, before he sighed and quickly went to his room to slip on some of his old basketball shorts, green of course, and another of his Saint Patty's Day shirts, Beer+Beer=Shenanigans, which could barely fit over his shoulders, before he returned to the door and opened it to see a disappointed Celestia and six rather ashamed mares. “Look, sorry, but I'm not used to being ogled for anything. Let's not focus on me right now, we just saved Princess Celestia's sister, saved your world, and did it in style. ISN'T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A FIESTA?!” Bronze demanded as he came through the doorway, back to his balrog form.

They all perked up, especially Pinkie as she was suddenly wearing a festive sombrero and holding maracas “TENGAMOS LA FIESTA!!!” They were all inexplicably outside, with the whole town decorated in festive Mexican style and ponies partying hard. Conga lines, wild dancing, and booze galore were the staples as the friends and royal sisters looked on in shock as Pinkie instantly began mingling.

“Sister...what sort of celebration is this?” Luna asked in perplexity as a glass was offered to her by a random pony, and she sniffed it only for Celestia to smack it away.

“Th-that's for big ponies sister, and your body can't handle that right now. The rest, however; let's enjoy it!” Celestia happily joined in the wild festivities, her sister tagging along curiously while Bronze and his new friends all felt much more content to sit by the sidelines and adjust for a moment.

“Did Pinkie just...?” Bronze asked, his brain trying not to break.

“Yes darling, she did.” Rarity sighed as she evaded a random sombrero from landing on her head.

“Y'all 'll get used to it.” AJ swore as she braced herself to join in.

“Yeah, it's just Pinkie being Pinkie. Don't overthink it.” Dash was already holding a couple shots of liquor, offering one to Bronze who held the miniscule thing between his fingers in perplexity.

“I...I'll ignore it for now. I've never seen the Princess so happy.” Twilight said as she spotted someone about to do something very wrong for his age. “Spike! No! That's for grown-ups!” She shouted as she ran into the fray, leaving the others to laugh before they all jumped in too.

Bronze felt afraid, as he always did in big crowds. But now...he could face it.

He wasn't Bronze Brave for nothing.

Author's Note

And thus, does the battle against Nightmare Moon leave Anthon forever scarred into being more a creature of Equestria than one of Earth.

How will he live now? Will he have to move into Ponyville? His Doorways only serving as his way to keep in contact with his family?

We shall see.

This is my Life Now....

Bronze Brave, formerly the normal human known as Anthon Robinson, really slept in for a long time after his first actual giant party. He slept in his old room, in his old house, in his original world as he usually did, but being so much taller and having horns made that a challenge. His feet dangled off the end of his queen-size bed, and his horns made most sleeping positions uncomfortable.

He'd already slept an extra 3 hours when. *knock, knock, knock.* “Mr. Brave? You're late reporting in for your commissions. I know you've had a trying time, but the hydras need to be warded off by that repellent.” Mayor's voice stated through his bedroom door. She'd already knocked at his front door with no response.

“Mph...go 'way....” At his mumbled response to the knock on his bedroom door, the door opened up to reveal Mayor wearing a smart gray pantsuit. Her naturally shapely form was conservatively and professionally concealed by her choice in clothing, figuring that it'd change upon coming through with proper intent as Miss Sparkle had theorized.

“Now mister...oh my....” Mayor blushed at looking at the humanized balrog wearing nothing but boxer briefs that clung to his newly toned rear, which was quite plain to see as he'd buried his face into his pillows, his blankets up against the wall. Normally, the reserved mare-turned-woman wasn't one to shamelessly appreciate the opposite sex, but for some reason; the human shape was an oddly sensuous one, what with it being furless and thus exposing all the finer detail. She cleared her throat however, and managed to regain herself. “Mister Brave, I know you've had a hard trial that led to an extremely important moment of self-discovery, as well as all that nasty business, but nopony else in town can complete the task without voiding your pay, and I'm not one to needlessly ignore a potentially valuable employee.”

“Ugh...fine...I'm up.” Bronze pushed himself off the bed and stood on his feet at the foot of said bed in one motion, the woman appreciating his apparent grace and knowledge of his surroundings, as the odd equipment on the corner of his bed remained completely untouched by his movements. “So, what exactly are the details? You said I'd be briefed when...my eyes are up here ma'am.”

Mayor was wide-eyed and had been looking at his crotch for an obvious reason, as the briefs had a very large bulge to the front. “Y-yes, well...um...please put on more than briefs and I'll debrief-I mean-brief you, on the exact task you'll be undertaking. Yes...please put some pants on.” Mayor left the room in a hurried and embarrassed fashion, and Bronze sighed.

“Why did my balrog transformation have to do this to me? I think I miss being fat, at least then women looked me in the eyes.”

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After getting dressed in his usual style of pants, which had oddly changed size to fit when he went to put them on, baffling, Bronze was told what his exact job was, as the flier only outlined the dangerous aspects of it.

Mayor informed him that he would need to take the pellets of dissolving pheromone tablets being held at Fluttershy's, dissolve them in barrels of water, and then spread the tainted water along the edge of the Everfree in the area of Froggy Bottom Bog. It was long, tedious, and heavy work, which was why so few would volunteer to do it even with pay, as there was also always the risk of the creatures in the Everfree deciding to chance on prey in the open.

However, Bronze had to ask why Mayor herself bothered to come and inform him when she could've sent her secretary or something, and Mayor said that they were still keeping his Doorways a secret as they were going to try and ease the populace into knowing of it rather than have a full-blown announcement, let ponies adjust gradually rather than have it thrown in their faces.

“So, that is all. I have heard you'd slain a manticore while under Nightmare Moon's influence, so you can feel free to fetch that first if you wish and put off the hydras until tomorrow, but no later than tomorrow as Miss Fluttershy has reported seeing one of the towering creatures lumbering about in the early morning. It won't likely leave the forest as of yet, but we don't want to risk it any more than we have to.” Mayor finished as she stood from the couch.

“Alright then, I'll get that manticore first. We don't want it rotting and ruining the venom samples, or some carrion eaters taking the bits we need.” Bronze then picked up the hunting knife that was still sitting on the couch next to him, strapping the holster to his belt loops and then doing the same with his kukri, both on the left side, knife on the side and kukri to the forward left.

“Good day to you Mr. Brave. I wish you safety.” Mayor then approached the front Doorway, opened into the library, and left, closing the door behind her like a polite pony. Best door manners he'd seen in a while.

Bronze went upstairs and left through the door to Shy's place, his pets all happily running out it at the chance to visit the wonderful mare and play with her other animal friends. He laughed as his dogs all promptly charged a much larger dog, who Shy had assured him was a complete softy with smaller animals, while his cats all ran to the creek for clean water, and to play with the fish swimming through it.

“Oh, hello Anthon.” Shy was outside, feeding the birds and refilling the numerous birdhouses' seed troughs.

“Shy it's Bronze Brave now. I've read enough of that book to know that minotaurs, and I guess balrogs, forsake their birth names after discovering their defining trait. Only my lover or parents are supposed to call me by my birth name now, and in private unless they're scolding or codling me.” Bronze didn't really know it, but Equestria was changing him in more than body. His mind was becoming more and more tauren than human.

“Oh, sorry.” Shy blushed at the connotations. “Well, anyhow, I heard you were the one who took the job for spreading the hydra repellent, are you here for that?”

“Not yet Shy. Remember the manticore I...brutally....” Bronze reminded, and Shy sniffled before she nodded.

“I know. It had to be done anyway to get the venom. At lease the way you killed it was quick. Know this Bronze; I don't condone killing any living creature unless it is to help another or in self-defense. I better not hear about you killing anything for sport.” Shy's eyes narrowed, and Bronze felt his very spirit waver, but it also sparked an instinctive surge of adrenaline in him, and he smirked.

“Hey, so long as they don't hurt me or someone doesn't need something from their corpse, I won't ever hunt something just to hunt it. Life is precious, it should never be wasted.” 'Actually...the task was only for the venom...what could I do with the rest of the corpse? It'd be disrespectful not to use as much of it as possible.' Bronze waved goodbye to the pegasus and entered the Everfree beyond her home.

It wasn't a very long trek to be honest, between her cottage and the cliff he was told he'd collapsed, and thus from there, not far to find the manticore corpse. Thing reeked already, the head having been pulverized was already starting to rot as the forest moved to already begin processing it, some vines having creeped from the nearest tree and clearly having pulled the thing a few feet overnight. That's a lot of alreadys.

'Creepy...but then again, this place sustains itself.' It was easy for Bronze to use his enlarged kukri to lop off the vines very slowly dragging the body towards the tree, the things being as tight as ship rigging from the slow, sure force they were exerting made them whip from the release of force. He could've sworn he heard deep groans of discontent from the tree itself, and Bronze hurried to free his prey and hoist it on his shoulders, dragging it out of the forest as quickly as possible.

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Doctor Hoarse gawked at the giant dead body laying in the grass out of the side entrance to Ponyville General. “You dragged the whole thing through town?! You only needed the tail!” The caramel yellow unicorn stallion with tamed short caramel brown hair wearing a doctor's white lab coat shouted in surprise as he pushed his half-lens glasses back up his snout. “Why'd you work so much harder than necessary?”

“Well...actually I was wondering if there was anything like a hunting society around to help me harvest the useful bits from the beast. It'd be disrespectful to just leave the rest to rot.” Bronze stated, getting a sigh out of the stallion.

“Well Mr. Brave, I'm afraid not. Ponies rarely ever participate in hunting, we only do it on occasion to secure our safety, and even then it's usually left to the Guard. I don't know what they do with them, but there isn't really anypony I can think of who might know aside from the Apples or Miss Fluttershy, and I know for fact that Miss Shy isn't about to help you eviscerate an animal for it's “useful” bits.” Doctor Hoarse then cleared his throat. “I can, however, surgically remove the venom sacs from the cadaver for harvesting and synthesizing antidote. If you would sir, I'd like some privacy. I'm told my autopsy spells are rather...unnerving to the average person.”

“Bleh, I'm not average, but yeah, I'll just go over here.” Bronze walked to the front of the hospital, and leaned against the wall. Even from here, he could hear the disturbing squelching noises and cracking of chitin. He hoped harvesting the rest for useful bits wouldn't be too much of a problem.

“I'm finished!” Doctor Hoarse called out, getting Bronze to turn around the corner and approach, finding the tip of the manticore's stinger had been removed, and the blood dripping from it told him that was where the green membranous sac the doctor now levitated came from. “Removing a sac or gland without damaging it is a very careful process. Thank you for your help Bronze. I'll inform the Mayor that your task is finished.”

“You're welcome doctor. Make good use of that venom.” Bronze moved to hoist up the corpse again, and the doctor laughed darkly.

“You should be hoping I never have to.”

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“Beg yer pardon?” AJ asked with her eyebrows raised, pointedly trying not to look at the caved-in head or surgically opened tail tip of the corpse off to the side, well away from any of her precious trees.

“Ugh...okay, I get you ponies are vegetarian and pro-pacifist, but can you seriously mean to tell me not even the local farmers know how to make use of animal corpses?” Bronze was getting tired of this. Seriously, he'd never hunted before, he doesn't know a thing about not letting the creature go to waste. Sure, he practices butchery, but the meat is already mostly separated from most of the grisly mess of a fresh corpse in modern practices in his world, and he doesn't want to know how slaughterhouses work.

“Who gave ya that idea? We just...bleh, thinkin' 'bout it makes me sick...in the rare case a wild critter from the Everfree attacks the farm, we just chase it off or put it down. Then, in that rare second case, we bury it on unplanted land to fertilize the soil some.” AJ informed a suddenly saddened Bronze, who then growled to himself.

“Of course...sorry to bug ya AJ. I'll just have to see what I can do. Good thing my yard back home is practically invisible to my neighbors with them not having windows facing it, and the walls and whatnot.” Bronze went to heft up the body, but AJ stopped him with an understanding expression.

“Sugarcube, Ah know what yer goin' through. Ya just want to pay respects to the critter don't ya?” AJ asked, and Bronze sighed as he nodded. “We could bury him on the farm for ya if ya want. Ah don't mind, and Granny would have a spot for him.”

“That's nice of you to offer AJ, but it has to be ME that pays respect. I can't just bury him and leave him forgotten. It's not right.” Bronze looked at the mutilated body, feeling the remorse flood back into him. “He's the first living, thinking creature I've ever snuffed out...it would be wrong to just hide the memory. I need to make something of his remains, so that I always have that reminder that he was the first, and while I regret it, I did it out of both necessity, and while I was not myself. Consider it an...odd form of apology.”

AJ smiled softly, and to Bronze's surprise, nuzzled his hip comfortingly. “Hey, now. Don't be hard on yerself. You're a good person Bronze. Never doubt that. The fact yer goin' to such lengths to do this is proof of that. Ya could've just left him to rot in the Everfree after getting his tail, but ya didn't. Ah don't know anypony else who would do what you're tryin' to do.”

Bronze smiled down at the orange mare, and knelt down to gently embrace her, getting a surprised blush out of the mare who quickly smiled and hugged him back as best she could. “Thanks AJ. You're a real friend.”

“Ain't that the truth?” AJ asked smartly with a grin before they broke the embrace. “Now you go on and do what ya gotta do. Ah've got work to get back to.” Bronze nodded and hefted the body back onto his shoulders before heading towards the library, AJ watching him leave with a smile on her face. “Now that, is a real bull.”

“Darn tootin'!” AJ jumped at the sound of her granny, who was sitting on the porch of the house nearby. “That one there's a catch! Yer doin' good sweetie.”

AJ blushed scarlet and stammered. “I-it ain't like that! He's mah friend!”

“Oh Applejack, the best lovers start out as friends. You'll see.” Granny said knowingly, AJ grumbling in embarrassment as she trotted off into the orchard for more work. “Hmph, still a filly, so naïve.”

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Getting the manticore through the library was...interesting.

Apparently, Twilight and Spike had moved into the library permanently per Celestia's permission. Twilight said it was so she could stay here, with her friends, which included him. Made him feel special. But then she said she would not condone dragging a corpse through the place, especially since it was way too big anyhow to even fit through the front door, which Bronze realized far too late with sheepish embarrassment.

Hearing his reasoning however, Twilight ranted for a moment about “hunter-gatherer societies and their impulsiveness and twisted senses of honor”, before relenting and using her magic to shrink the thing down to the size of a cat, warning him the spell would only last a day or so, sooner depending on varying unknowns such as the effects of his Doorways or his dimension in general.

On the other side of the Doorway, things were even stranger if simpler, as the cat-sized corpse seemed to turn into a deformed plush doll for some reason. No mess, and he supposed he could keep it as long as needed now, but why? Why a plush doll? His house confounded him, it was getting stranger by the day.

First the Doorways, then the transformations to living things and items that pass through, the magically reattaching doors which he finally noticed, the pants that actively grew to size for him that morning, and now this. In what sense, does a damn corpse turn into a plush doll? Fuck it. Chuck it. Doll meet couch, enough of this bullshit, Bronze needs some calming tea.

In his frustration, Bronze hadn't noticed something as he turned left instead of right, and entered his kitchen...to find it clean. No, that wasn't the right word, more like...immaculate, unblemished, spotless it was so clean. It was NEVER this clean! The horrid aftermath of Pinkie's short reign of terror was completely replaced by not only the mess being gone, but the cabinets seemed to have a fresh glossy stain on them, the floor had the new tan/brown tiles perfectly added, and the clutter was all excessively neat and orderly.

Not willing to process the new extreme improbability, Bronze turned around to head to his room and froze. Intruder.

In the hall to his room stood a dark-skinned woman with white stripe-like tattoos throughout her body, her extremely luscious, curvy, and toned body was only preserved in modesty by a simple burlap robe meant for protection from the elements that covered her fully, yet did nothing to hide her shape. Her hood was up, and her deep blue, near green eyes looked at him calculatingly with experience and wariness. “Who are you, which door did you come in through, would you like something to eat or drink?” Bronze asked with exasperation, causing the sharp-featured woman to raise a white left eyebrow that contrasted with her right black eyebrow.

“From your statement I can deduce, that it would be easy to call a truce.” She visibly calmed down, her apparently tensed form softening into a more relaxed stance. Bronze loved the sound of her voice, it was deep, silky, and had an air of wisdom and mystery.

“Yeah, having dimensional doorways leading everywhere sort of makes my home easy to be invaded. I've gotten used to the concept sadly.” Bronze replied with a shrug, and gestured to his couches have a seat, I'll get us some tea.” He returned to the depressingly unfamiliar kitchen, and quickly got some ice in two plastic tumblers, and used his three-gallon tea dispenser to fill the two large cups. He ignored that the fluid level in the dispenser didn't lower at all, and tried to put his changing house out of his mind as he entered the living room to see the woman had made herself comfortable on the seat nearest the exit, and handed her a cup. “Sorry if it isn't to your taste.”

She sniffed it, and took a sip, smiling. “Mm...it tastes like my personal recipe, how did you know about me?” She asked, clearly referencing him knowing her tastes, and he blinked before sipping it, and his eyes widened. It tasted nothing like his mix of green teas, it tasted like the best sweet tea he thought he would never have again, because the place he first got it was from a family restaurant in Florida, across the country, where said restaurant went under from the economy.

“Um...I didn't. My tea dispenser is apparently magic now. Like everything else.” Bronze groused as he rolled his eyes. “My rapidly changing life aside...I am Bronze Brave, formerly Anthon Robinson. This is my home, in a parallel dimension to the realm Equestria inhabits, and you have had the pleasure of walking through one of my Doorways. Welcome.”

“How odd a turn, I had just tried to enter my home for incense to burn.” The woman stated, finally getting Bronze to realize she spoke in rhyming couplets.

“Why the rhyming? I have nothing against rhyming, but why rhyme all the time?” Bronze asked, getting a grin out of her, and he sighed. “Yes, I rhymed, nothing special about it unless you're a master.”

“It is just a jest, usually to entertain a guest. But now the tables are turned, and my efforts should be spurned. However, I want to drag it on, my pastime not bygone.” She responded, getting Bronze to groan. “If it displeases you, I shall stop. I am simply used to my image of the mysterious mare in the woods.”

“Thank you. Now then, what is your name? It is not often I speak with such a beautiful woman without knowing her name first.” Bronze blinked, wondering where that came from. “Sorry for the flirt, I didn't catch myself.”

“It is no problem. I am often considered quite exotic by the males that have the courage to speak with me. My mother always told me I would be a heart breaker.” The woman giggled, her sensuous voice surprisingly turning such a cute laugh sexy. “I am Zecora, normally a zebra. I was entering my home in Everfree from the rear, only to find myself here.” Zecora then gestured with her free hand to the former pet pantry. “I came through that Doorway there, to say I was surprised would be fair.”

“The forest door? So it leads to Everfree, good to know. So where were you to only notice the anomaly now?” Bronze asked as he drained his cup, he'd barely noticed drinking it since it was so familiar.

“I was hunting a beast most foul, my only protection from petrification my cowl. For my latest brew I needed cockatrice eyes, and freedom is bought for stone when said beast dies.” Zecora informed him as she continued to sip, having caught Bronze's attention.

“You know how to hunt, and harvest from slain creatures?” Bronze asked seriously, getting a bewildered nod from her, and he knelt before her, holding her free hand to her surprise. “Please help me!”

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'Ew...ew...EWWWWWWWWWW~!'

“You are doing quite well with your steady hand, why you needed my help I do not understand.” Zecora, now a zebra, stated from next to him as she guided his hands with her hooves, him already having ideas of what she was guiding him for as his blood-soaked fingers worked a small knife on the arteries of the beast's heart.

“I, mmph...have no prior experience with...ugh...this....” Bronze was fighting his gag reflex as Zecora guided him through harvesting the now normal manticore corpse. It was good he tossed the doll through the Everfree Doorway as the beast cadaver returned to normal the instant it left the Doorway's border. She agreed to help him if she could have the beast's fangs and one of the paw bones. Something about a ward charm, he didn't really get it.

“You surprise me then, I'd have thought you from Hunter's Glen.” Zecora joked, getting a grunt out of Bronze as he finished surgically severing the heart, and carefully removed it from the measured and opened ribcage. “A beast's heart has meany uses, aside from stews for carnivores and omnivores, it is also a potent reagent for more taboo curses.”

“Want it? I don't feel like having heart stew or a curse put on somepony.” At the offer, Zecora eagerly opened her game bag, which held pretty much all the other organs he'd harvested with her guidance. Gross, but it was educational. “Alright, that's the heart, lungs, liver, and gallbladder. Anything else useful?”

“Aside from food or as fertilizer? No, the rest of the beast's innards are best returned to nature. Now comes the most valuable part; the skin. I shall teach you how to carefully and quickly strip the flesh from a body, then tan it for use.” Then came the even more grisly task of continuing to slice a line straight up and down the beast's torso, splitting it up the front. Then Zecora showed him how to carefully peel the dead flesh from the meat, and by the time it was done, he had a massive lion pelt sans tail and face.

She then helped him clean the insides of the pelt, and asked if he wanted the pelt's fur intact, or if he wanted to just outright make leather. Deciding to keep it decorative, he wanted the outside preserved if possible. She then showed him how to harvest tannin from oak trees, and then use said tannin on the inside of the pelt to “tan” it, killing and removing the deteriorating stuff and preserving the hide as a whole. She then showed him how to stretch it out on a rack easily made of wood branches and vines to dry. “Well...that looks like a...really, really big coat.”

He was right too. Since Zecora helped him keep the limbs intact, he could actually use it as a one-piece, but that'd look ridiculous. He was already planning to do some cutting, make pants from the hind legs, leave the rest intact but he'd need to do some sewing for buttons, and the majority of the head that was intact along with the mane worked out with his horns for a hood, the forelegs of it could be sleeves, but he'd have to bunch them to measure. “Indeed. A fine trophy of your first kill. Now this beast may never be forgotten.”

“Thank you so much Zecora. Is there anything else I can do to thank you?” Bronze asked, only to get an amicable laugh of her sultry voice.

“I believe you have given me enough. With those organs and the bones, I shall ensure no beast will roam too close. Also I will have good bloodmeal and bonemeal for my herb garden for a while now. Helping you with your prize was more benefit to me than you think.” Zecora was all too happy at this happenstance, her only grievance was that her back door was now a closet from the inside, and a door to his house from outside. “It was a pleasure, shall I see you again at leisure?”

“Yes. Not only are we neighbors now, you helped me with something important to me with little prompting after we'd only just met. I would gladly call you friend Zecora.” Bronze held out his hand for a shake, and she politely did so. “I'll return for my pelt come morning. Goodnight my fair witchdoctor.” He winked at her, getting her to grin at him acknowledging her profession before he turned, and casually entered the white-washed door clashing with the back of her weeping-willow hut.

“That is a real bull, one who's life is meant to be whole.” Zecora stated, humming as she trotted towards her front door to put away the organs she'd obtained from her new friend and get other tools to finish hacking apart the skeleton and gristle, idly thinking of the stallions back home, and sighing wistfully. “If only the males back home were so polite and charming.”

Author's Note

There we go, I wanted to have Bronze and Zecora meet before canon events, to both complicate and simplify matters, planned that from the get-go.

LEEROY JENK-OH SHIT!

The next morning, Bronze decided before he reported in for the hydra job, that he'd get some stock of his disturbingly...evolving home. His kitchen was now spotless and orderly with a tea dispenser that has a supposedly endless supply and tastes to the drinker's favorite flavor. His wardrobe now sizes to fit him whenever he tries something on, making even his oldest clothes viable to wear now. Convenient.

Too convenient.

Bronze was of the opinion that nothing comes easy or without a price, so what could all this be costing him, and what exactly was the currency? If Twilight's theories held more water than he'd originally thought, they were feeding off his magic, which he hadn't even known existed less than a week ago. He'd need to talk to his nerdy mage friend-. “Bronze?” He turned to Twilight's voice and promptly spun away.

“Twilight, damn it! Why are you naked when you figured out how clothes work through the Doorways?” 'Holy hell, how does a bookworm get a body like that? I blame magic.'

Twilight was suitably flustered at her hiccup, having forgotten. “Oh, right, sorry. Be right back.” Twilight went back into the library, and soon returned wearing a simple purple dress, that when she passed through, fit her adorably, only it had a lot of cleavage, but he'd live, it was better than her being naked.

“Thank you. So Twi, what do I owe the honor of your visit? I can't stay long I'm afraid, I have to go spread that hydra repellent.” Bronze reminded her as he sat at one of his couches, he'd been investigating if they'd changed. They did, but only slightly in that they seem even more comfortable. Laying on one would make it hard to stay awake.

“Well I came to check on you, see how things were going with that manticore...did you clean up?” Twilight asked as she looked around, noticing the floor was...wait.... “When did you have the time to re-tile your house?” The old, cheap, white tile was now replaced with the same tan/brown tile that was in the kitchen. It was spotless, and perfectly done as well.

“I didn't...and I didn't notice that until just now either, damn it...Twi, I have a serious issue here.” Bronze confided in Twilight that his house was still changing. The Doorways were the start of it, but now his home was improving in ways his mother only ever dreamed. He was starting to worry it might spread outside, catch notice. “So, is it me? Or the house?”

Twilight was scanning the whole place with her magic, and had just come back downstairs with a sigh. “It's all you Bronze. You're subconsciously exerting your will over your immediate surroundings. You don't have this ability or power in Equestria though. It seems the longer you stay home, the more “homey” it will become.” Twilight rubbed her horn distressingly, the oddly provocative motion made him realize her horn seemed longer. “And...I seem to be being affected too. My horn's ability to channel here is improving.”

“Nothing else? Please tell me it isn't perverted. I may be a gentleman, but I'm still just a man.” Bronze was hoping that the women's sexy bodies wasn't HIM, that would be awkward.

“No, not really. Aside from my horn's increased length and by extension; potency, I'm not feeling any different.” Twilight said before she took some more notes on his mom's sacrificed notepad. “I'll have to study this more. You said you had someplace you had to be?”

“Yeah, I've got to go to Shy's place, pick up the repellent and get to spreading it along the Everfree around the bog area. Oh, speaking of which, figured out that my pet pantry leads to the Everfree. Made a friend too. Her name's Zecora, lovely mare.” Bronze blushed as he seemed to be in a daze, and Twilight smirked, but decided to leave it alone rather than tease her friend.

“Well, alright then. Just be careful, and if you end up fighting a hydra, NEVER cut off a head! You'll only double your trouble.” Twilight warned seriously before she turned to exit back into her library. “I'll let you know if I make any headway on what exactly is happening here. Is it alright if I come here while you're gone?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Twi, my home's as easily invaded as it has ever been. I'd feel better having someone I know here anyway.” After bidding his bookish friend farewell, Bronze went to his couch and picked up his brother's wakizashi. Well...to call it a wakizashi wasn't true; a traditional Japanese blade isn't straight like this, but no other style of weapon had this kind of blade design. Ignoring his usual conundrum over what exactly the sword was supposed to be named, Bronze strapped the black wood sheath to his right hip, being comfortable drawing it in reverse as he retied his knife and kukri to their usual places.

However, Twilight's warning echoed into his mind, and also brought forth his memory of the tale of the mythical hydra of his world, in that it could only be killed by pulverizing the torso, a daunting feat. What if Equestrian hydras were worse? What if the torso mutated or rapidly healed any slices to it similarly to the heads? He wasn't supposed to be fighting any of the beasts, but better safe than sorry. He went out to his roofed porch, and promptly approached his 10 pound sledgehammer, hoping the modifications made upon crossing over would be enough to turn the work tool into a proper weapon.

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“Hey Shy? You home?” Bronze knocked on her door, not hearing anything inside, not even her many animals. His little animal friends all ran in through the Doorway when he'd opened it, all being clearly frightened as they all ran to his room for safety. He knew it was a bad sign, and the lack of animals around or the buttery kind pegasus all further screamed that something bad had happened, was happening, or about to happen. Animals were very instinctive about danger. “Okay...don't panic. Just try to focus on a way to discover the issue, then resolve it.”

Bronze leaned into the haft of his new warhammer as he thought on a course of action. The black fiberglass handle was easily as tall as he was, and thick enough to fit perfectly in his massive mitts. The stainless steel head however, was proportionately massive, and while not changing it's simple, effective shape, was much, much heavier, the 10lb labels printed on the sides now read 50lbs, and he could still swing it as easily as before. Scary.

“Okay, so.” Bronze sniffed the air, and promptly gagged. “The stench of peat, mold, and mildew...swamp fare. Living in Florida did something for me after all. The hydra are in the bog....” Bronze growled deeply, before he bellowed in frustration. “Damn it! Should've done the repellent yesterday! Shy must've noticed one coming and evacuated.”

Bronze focused on the stench, and using his new senses, was able to trace them a good distance further south, and found tracks. Judging from the ridiculous size of the clawprints, the beast was likely an adult, and from here, easily within sight of Fluttershy's. The thing however, went straight into the southern fields judging by the tracks, and when he climbed it. “Oh...fuck me.”

There it was.

It was a towering three-headed colossus of orange scales and a sickly yellow banded belly. Aside from it's bulbous torso, it only had the long, serpentine trio of heads, a thick tail nearly part of the torso behind it to help balance, and two stubby legs on either side that it lumbered about on. The beast was feeding, from this distance he couldn't tell, but he could only pray it wasn't a pony. He could tell, however, even from here; that the southern end of Ponyville visible from here was completely abandoned. “Yeah, great job Bronze, great job. Let the thing in with all the procrastinating over the manticore's pelt.”

He considered his options. Obviously, the thing wasn't about to be content with whatever it killed and leave. If he could eat enough to equal a pony in size, then that thing could probably eat up to twice it's weight if it's distended and bloated torso meant anything. Any further planning was halted upon the thing turning towards town, and starting to lumber towards it. “Oh fuck no! Not today!”

Bronze bellowed to catch it's attention, successfully getting one head to lazily look at him, perk up, and then produce a hissing roar as it prodded it's fellows to look at him too, all eyes on him now. They roared in disjointed unison, and then began a shockingly fast lumbering gait towards him, getting the bull's eyes to shrink to pinpricks at his bull-headed stupidity. “Fuck! Where'd my brains go?! Uh...THIS WAY FATASS!”

Bronze tried not to contemplate the irony of his taunt as he spun around and booked as fast as his black hooves could manage. Having hooves instead of feet was an incredibly useful thing for running, proven how there was practically no pain, and he outpaced the creature severely, getting a lead on it as he kited it away from town. 'Alright...killing it's the obvious choice. No way I can get it all the way back to the bog, don't even know for sure where it is; Shy was supposed to lead me to my starting area. Okay, so remember; heads are off-limits, focus on the torso.'

Bronze continued his run, huffing out his nose as he looked behind him, pondering the morbidly fat and resilient monster's potential weak spots. 'The tail would be a good one, I don't see it being able to turn quickly, it'd rely on it's heads for that and the reach would be limited from the rear. I don't know if-SHIT!' Bronze suddenly rolled to the side as a trio of green acid gobs splatted where he'd have been, rapidly dissolving the grass and blackening the dirt. 'Holy frik! Spits acid apparently! Thanks for telling me everypony!' Bronze scathingly thought in sarcasm, before he turned to face the charging bag of scales. 'Alright then, clearly no more running if it's resorting to projectiles. Let's do this!'

As it nearly approached the range of lunging at him, he surprised it by bolting towards it and to the right side. “BRONZE BRAAAAAAAVE~!” Bronze screamed his own name as a battle cry, an ode to Leeroy Jenkins just in case he died, and didn't have chicken in whatever afterlife awaits. Seeing it's surprise as an opportunity, Bronze dodged the slowed lunge of the left head and shouted as his martial artist instructors told him to in order to increase his attack's power as he quickly reared his sledge back, and hammered home right into the thing's left leg at the “shoulder”.

A sickening cracking sound and pop was his reward, as well as witnessing the beast cry out in agony and collapse onto the lame limb. Bronze was feeling SO high on adrenaline as he backed off with leaping backsteps to dodge the snaps of the infuriated left head. “Ha! Suck it ya-AH!” Bronze screamed in pain as one of the further heads spat acid onto his left shoulder, instantly searing off his fur, and beginning to make his exposed pitch-black flesh bubble and crack. “YOU FUCKERS!”

Bronze wasn't sure what happened next. His vision went red, there was so much wordless screaming and pain as new injuries mounted. Eventually though, he found himself standing atop the back of a limp, motionless hydra, panting desperately for air as he clutched his sledge in his right hand near the bloodied head with a death grip, his left arm not responding.

“Ah...ah...ow....” Bronze looked himself over as best he could without moving much, his left shoulder from pec to shoulder blade was now furless, and covered in acid burns. His left arm seemed broken at least once at the bicep, twisted unnaturally. His double knees trembled at the acid burn on his right calf, and it seemed he took a good tumble as his face was burning with a familiar sensation of having face-planted with the dirt at least once. “What the...I...knew I blacked out when I fought, but fuck...never like that.”

“BRONZE~!” At the hysterical screams of his name, Bronze slowly looked towards the source as his friends all rushing from the direction of town, and slowing as they approached to gawk at him in both horror and amazement, before Twilight took a deep breath, and turned to Rainbow.

“Rainbow! Fetch the medics from the hospital!” Dash saluted out of habit, and took off in a blast of speed. “Fluttershy, tend to him!”

“Oh dear, oh my!” Fluttershy worriedly rambled as she quickly flew up to him and began fishing in her saddlebags upon sitting next to him, he still stood, shaking, too worried he'd collapse if he relaxed.

“Rarity, help Fluttershy.” The Fashionista didn't complain even as she got dirt and other gross substances on her hooves as she climbed up the dead beast to follow Fluttershy's instructions, using her magic to slowly lower him to his rump to his gratitude, but he still clutched his hammer to distract from the pain. “Pinkie-.”

“On it!” Pinkie ran off, leaving a cloud in her shape, also leaving Twilight blinking as she hoped her odd friend really knew what she was about to say.

“AJ, you can help them right?” Twilight asked her last friend, who sweated and shook her head in worry. “Then just be there for support, I need to send a letter!” Twilight teleported back to her library, she'd left Spike home out of parental protectiveness.

AJ quickly jumped up the enormous beast easily the size of a small home, and sat next to a jaw-clenching Bronze in concern as Fluttershy and Rarity set about setting and splinting his left arm, and took his clenching right hand in her hooves. “Y'all 'll be okay, y'hear me? Help's comin'.” Bronze visibly relaxed, and let his hammer slide down the beast to the dirt nearly two stories below as he graciously accepted her hooves instead, grinning at her, before he finally couldn't ignore it anymore, and blacked out in pain.

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*Beep, beep, beep....* If there was one thing Bronze hated more than the piercing sound of his alarm, it was the grating constant beeps of a heart monitor. It was depressing, and reminded him too much of the many times he'd had to watch his father breathe through a tube in an ICU.

Speaking of which.

*GAG! GAGCHCHCHCH!* Bronze choked on the pipe in his throat, his heart monitor spiking as his waking registered. In response; a white coated mare with bright red hair wearing a nurse hat burst into the room, and helped him remove the artificial lung's hose.

“Easy, easy. You need to relax your throat if we're going to get this out.” The mare coaxed gently, and he calmed down as she helped his hands guide the offending object from his throat and out his mouth, and he breathed on his own in relief. “You gave us all a scare Mr. Brave. When you were dragged in with hydra poisoning, we thought we'd lost you.”

“Poison?” Bronze asked, his abused vocal chords turning the word into a croak.

“Yes. You were hit by what most think is acid, but is actually a highly acidic poison that seeps in through skin and tissue by burning through fur first and weakening the flesh. It paralyzes the victims to the point the body goes into shock and shuts down. The fact you were moving at all after it hit you is amazing. The fact you killed it with just a hammer, even if it was a 53 and 1/3 stone hammer, is just awe inspiring.” She gushed slightly, before suddenly shifting to a stern expression. “What were you thinking mister?!”

“Uh...don't let it get to town and claim more victims?” 'What is her problem?'

At his response, she huffed. “You hero types, so stupidly selfless, not caring about your lives.” She muttered as she checked his bandages, and then looked at his bed's clipboard. It was only now he noticed his arm wasn't in a sling, and the searing pain he'd expected, what having experienced third-degree burns before, was merely a sting where he'd been burned.

“So nurse, what's the damage, how long have I been out, what's the situation around my actions?” 'Because, seriously, my parents are supposed to be back this week. Can't be missing when they show up, send them into a panicked frenzy, expose Equestria, start wars, etc.'

“It's actually only been a day since you were admitted Mr. Brave. Miss Dash and Miss Sparkle were very efficient in organizing the help you needed promptly, and getting the medics to you quickly. Not to mention that Miss Fluttershy's emergency first aid likely saved your life. She had some antidote on her in preparation for the worst, and she'd already set your arm and dressed your burns by the time the medics were teleported to you. As for the situation, Mayor Mare is going to be seeing you once I inform her you're awake. She'll know more than anypony besides your friends.” The nurse then briskly left the room, and Bronze sighed as he laid back in the bed, lamenting his current state.

'Didn't exactly tell me what was still wrong, just that I'm fine thanks to Shy. I owe my friends so much now...first for being my friends in the first place, then for saving me from Nightmare, and now for saving me from myself.' Bronze snorted a quiet laugh, and decided to nap. It wasn't long before a knock sounded on his door, and he woke up. “Come in.”

The door opened to reveal Mayor, who looked at him dryly and disapprovingly, before she closed the door behind her, and she suddenly bolted to his side, looking him over worryingly. “Oh~ are you alright? I'm so sorry! I should've made you do the repellent yesterday and this wouldn't have happened-!”

“Whoa-whoa! Hold your horses Mayor!” Bronze blinked, and snorted as he tried not to laugh at the pun, this was serious. “It's nopony's fault but mine. I'm the one who decided to fight it, alone at that, but I couldn't let it get into town. It'd already killed someone.”

“Actually it didn't.” Mayor informed him with a tone of relief, getting him to blink in confusion. “That was actually magically-treated bait donated by the local Hayburger and prepared when Miss Fluttershy rushed into town, warning us a hydra was coming. The bait was a rotting pre-prepared fake meat lump the size of a pony, magically treated with powerful sedation charms. It should've knocked it out, but it was either too old or the charms not strong enough. It did get notably slower, so that might've been what gave you enough edge over it to kill the creature.”

Bronze sighed in a combination of relief, that nopony died, and self-depreciation, since clearly this meant his success wasn't all him. Still. “How many people do you think can claim they've killed a hydra by themselves?”

“I doubt enough for me to use up my hooves.” Mayor joked, getting a friendly laugh shared between them. “Well, Mr. Brave, I think it is safe for me to say; thank you. You saved many lives today.”

“I would say it wasn't any trouble, but I'm laying in a hospital bed.” He laughed and Mayor chuckled before she decided to get serious again.

“Now, I must inform you that your hospitalization will be paid for by Her Royal Majesty Princess Luna, and that a royal stipend is to be awarded upon you for slaying a dangerous beast at great personal peril. The missive also stated it was to be part of a sincere apology to you for wronging you before, and that a detachment of pegasus guards has been dispatched to spread the repellent in your place, but that your due payment is to still be granted.” Mayor grinned after she said that. “Like I wouldn't pay you; you killed a hydra! That wasn't in the job description, you were expected to run if you encountered one.”

Bronze was stunned silent, looking at the mare in shock, which worsened when Mayor cheekily grinned, and suddenly took out a large coin sack, and dropped it on the bed, the heavy gold bits inside making him grunt. “That's 500 bits. 250 for the manticore venom, and 250 for spreading the repellent, which is now honestly for slaying the endangering beast instead. You still have a contract to kill a local pack of timber wolves, also worth 50 bits a timber heart. Doing quite well for yourself my bull. Please, don't stop impressing.” Mayor stated before she turned to leave. “You have visitors besides me, I hope you enjoyed your peace, because it's gone now.”

“W-wait!” She paused at his call, and he grinned nervously. “Um...who has rights to the beast's corpse?”

Mayor blinked, and looked at him incredulously. “You, of course. You killed it, it's spoils are for you to do as you will. Be warned though, that you only have a few days to relocate it, as by then it'll have become an eyesore and I'll have it moved to the Everfree.”

“Noted.” 'I hope Zecora knows something about harvesting hydra.' Mayor nodded and left, and almost instantly, a yellow and pink blur sped in and tackled him down into the bed.

“Bed! Temperature....” It was Shy, she was pinning him to the bed with her whole body, and checking his forehead with her hoof. “A little warm, expected, mouth.” She pried open his mouth, sticking her face in to see down his throat, and he accidentally licked her lips in surprise, but she didn't flinch. “Tonsils aren't swollen, good. Burns.” She sniffed the bandages, and gently rubbed them, only getting a wince in response. “Lessening. Good....” Shy sighed as she relaxed, seeming to shrink a bit as she laid down on him. “I didn't fail...good....”

“Shy?” Bronze asked nervously, and she looked at him weakly, and he was now able to notice the bags under her eyes, how red they were. 'She stayed up all night, crying in worry....' “I'm fine, you saved me, see?” Bronze held his arms out, and flinched before he slowly lowered his left arm back onto the bed. 'Yeah, ow.'

“Yeah Shy, stop doubting yourself. Told ya he'd be okay.” Dash said as she flew in the door ahead of the rest of his friends, Rarity closing the door after they were all in the room, gathered around the bed. “Still, a hydra? Alone? Buck bull, you've got bronze balls.” Dash joked, before blinking and looking at his groin. “Do you?”

Bronze blushed and huffed. “I certainly do NOT!” 'Right...haven't checked the undercarriage of this body yet...been putting it off, using the restroom at home.'

“Rainbow, such a thing is not to be said to one's male friends. It is uncouth.” Rarity chided. “But I will admit that she is right about one thing darling; slaying a hydra? It is like the old tales, only with a lot more grit and surviving by the skin of your teeth.”

“Yeah! You were all screaming, and roaring, and swinging your hammer like a bull possessed! After you broke it's left leg, you ran right at it and began wailing on it! Then when one bit your left arm, you jammed the head of the hammer into it's eye! Following that, you dodged most of another ball of poison, and ran up it's back, falling on your face a couple times as it tried to shake you off, but you eventually got up there and smashed it's spine until the thing stopped moving!” Pinkie gushed so fast almost nobody understood her. “Then I ran for our friends and got us help and an emergency bone potion for your arm.”

“W-what? How did you do all that so fast? We all met up after you got me and-.” Dash put a hoof to Twilight's lips and shook her head.

“Twilight, it's Pinkie. Just please. Don't. Ask.” Dash pointedly stated, getting the lavender unicorn even more curious, but this wasn't the place.

“Well...fine then. Now that we know he's okay, let's leave him be so he can rest up. C'mon girls. Get well soon Bronze.” Twilight and the others, save AJ, all left, but AJ closed the door behind them instead, and returned to Bronze's side to his bewilderment.

“What's up AJ?” At his question, she climbed on top of him, and looked him in the eyes as she stood over his face.

“Don't. Do that. EVER! Again!” AJ demanded, and Bronze sank back into his pillow. “If'n ya do somethin' so stupid again, and ya git hurt. So help me Ah might jus' buck you 'cross town m'self to make sure yer brains know ya done goofed! Understand?!” Bronze cowered under the burning emerald gaze of the farm mare, her eyes narrowed at his lack of response. “Well?!”

“W-why? Why do you care THIS much?” Bronze asked in confusion, and AJ blushed as she backed off.

“N-now why y'all askin' that? Ah'm jus' concerned is all...yer mah friend Bronze. An' ya came real close ta dyin' in my hooves....” AJ's eyes drenched, dropping tears down her snout as she sniffed. “Ah couldn' do nothin' as ya laid there. Shy and Rares did what they could an' all Ah was good fer was sittin' there worryin'. Jus' like when Ah lost mah....” AJ choked, and seemed about to start crying for real when Bronze used his right arm to pull her to his chest, and hugged her as she cried into his bandages.

“Shush girl. Hush. You don't need to say anything. Just calm down. I'm here.” Bronze was so busy saying sweet nothings to calm his friend, he didn't notice the five pairs of eyes all peeking through the cracked door, each concerned, but knowing they had no place here right now, and they quietly closed the door.

Author's Note

Bronze is powerful = true.
Bronze is overpowered = not true.

He's the Berserker, he can hit things, eventually he'll dual-class into a sort of Berserker Warlock, but until then, just a Berserker. He was able to hurt Nightmare out of several important factors: NM consistently underestimated him, and took him seriously way too late. He was high off achieving the minotaur equivalent of a cutie mark. And dumb luck.

Just...Why?

Thanks to the amazing power of Equestrian healing magics, medicines and other medical miracles, Bronze was cleared to leave the next morning, and was eager to return home for a break. AJ said the wolves had backed off of her family's property for the time being, so he could hunt the beasties at his own leisure. Especially with the heavy sack of gold coins Mayor hefted on him.

And he was lucky he got out of the hospital today; since either today or tomorrow, his parents were coming home from vacation visiting his sister.

Bronze practically exploded into his house through the front door, for once obscenely glad for whatever magic he was unconsciously weaving improving the place. It might soften his mom's opinion of all this, but he wasn't sure about his dad...oh. Bronze remembered the heavy sack of over 500 bits in his hand. Never mind, the man would be more than fine with it, his obsession with precious metals would ensure that. Actually.... 'Dad might actually see this as a pure godsend. Getting unmarked, pure gold coins? The man could easily turn a quick profit, I just hope his overtly honest nature and loose lips don't cause us or Equestria problems. Mom's good at keeping secrets, dad isn't....'

Bronze set the bag down on his...new, marble coffee table? Marble? Really? Why not-oh. Now it was soapstone. Better. But those sharp edges are dangerous and-now they're beveled, never mind. 'Okay, stop thinking about it, don't freak, don't focus, just leave it-DAMN IT!' Suddenly the coffee table was made of solid silver, and he sighed. 'Damn it dad...making me love silver so much...mom would not approve of this.' Look back at it, beveled soapstone. 'Stay that way.'

He turned to the wall, and slumped into the couch. “WHY~?!” His old living room TV was now an 80-inch flatscreen hung up on the wall, a whole new entertainment center under it, properly shelving his massive DVD collection, including what had been in the crawlspace. 'And their alphabetized, separated by both publisher and lead actor.' Bronze rubbed his temples, sighing as he looked upstairs, to see a second floor added instead of the empty space, support beams running across so there wasn't a need for a pillar. “OH COME ON! What is this?! Grant all my mom's home makeover wishes day?! Is it because she's coming home soon and I'm privately wigging out and about to-?!”

“Tea sir?”

“Thank you.” Bronze accepted the cup of tea, and took a sip only to spit-take, and look back at the animated tan clay golem wearing a tux. Like something out of Dragon Age, only of human size and proportion. “Oh gog...Jeeves?”

“Yes sir?”

'My fucking, childhood, imaginary friend just came to life out of fucking nowhere...I need help.' “That will be all Jeeves....” 'Just accept it, stop fighting it.' Bronze eased back into his nice, simple brown microfiber couches of excessive comfort, and cleared his mind. Let it go.

….

Fuck it.

“I'm going out Jeeves!” 'I'll just pretend I'm a cosplayer...hey, there should be a small anime convention at the college's library today isn't there?' A quick check on his phone provided that, yes, a small convention was being held further in town. “Lock the door after me.”

“Yes sir. I shall keep the riff-raff out and ensure any of your friends or associates are welcomed properly, and treated as guests should.” Jeeves bowed as Bronze walked outside, still wearing only the pants that Rarity had fixed for him when the poison melted his right pant leg. He didn't care, never did actually. Even when he was fat he preferred being shirtless because he always felt hot. Being barefoot though-okay, where did his boots come-.

'Fuck it! Don't THINK about it! Just, get to the van, drive to the con, mingle, have fun, joke that you glued your props to your head and bleached your hair.' Bronze ignored how smoothly the old wrought iron gate opened, and he valiantly ignored that his crappy extended-top camper van was now of the latest model-year. He also tried to ignore how ungogly comfortable the cloth seat was as he prepped the vehicle for driving, or how smooth it-DAMN IT WHY WAS IT SPREADING?! Bronze planted his face into the steering wheel, idly noting with humor the horn played “the cockroach”. 'This is like some Bruce Almighty bullshit going on, only I'm not doing it all intentionally, and my van isn't suddenly a super car.'

Bronze quickly checked his surroundings to find; yes, he was still in his van. Thank gog. He hates sports cars.

[@]

It was a hilarious drive down the main street of west Las Vegas, as the drivers who noticed him all had to give him a wave or look at him like he was a freak for his silvery hair, horns, and slit eyes. Someone even nearly got into a crash because they focused on him a few seconds too long. Then again he lived in Vegas; people “dressed up” like him were unusual, but still considered more part of the city than as an individual person. Maybe being a human-balrog blend wouldn't be so bad if he could keep up the act of it being a job, or hobby for nearby convention or whatnot.

Actually he was still wondering what game, show, book, anime or whatever he could say he was cosplaying was from. Bah, he'll just say he accidentally bleached his hair cleaning his driveway and decided to go the whole way and tack on horns and contacts. Hey, maybe he could pretend to be from Yu Yu Hakusho?

Bronze smiled as he neared his old neighborhood, turning left onto another major street, he only spent a few minutes more in traffic before he pulled into the lot of the public library on the north end of the campus. Parking was killer. The small monthly con was brimming full this month. It was cool it was hosted here every month for locals and the campus nerds, but since it was just a small white stone and glass modern building, a good deal of the event was held under awnings outside, and considering it was late June, it was bright, hot as in the hundreds, and guaranteed to give sunburn within seconds of exposure.

Bronze was SO glad for his new darker tan skin tone and it's more resilient nature. He still had to wear cheap and cheesy huge sunglasses to avoid a migraine though, and his horns, oh gog his horns were hot just on the walk from his van to the front doors. He could flipping FEEL the heat in his skull! How do horned mammals deal with this every day?

Simply upon walking in, he was asked to remove all props for security scans. That was a problem, and he demonstrated that he'd idiotically glued his horns to his head, so they weren't coming off. The guard was nice enough to check anyway, and cleared him after confirming the horns and his “contacts” were his only actual props, and he was let in.

Ah, hell. He just realized that if he'd covered himself in gray paint and painted his horns in candy-corn yellow, he could've cosplayed as a fantroll! He missed out on RPing for Homestuck! 'Idiot! Too late...now? Shit.' Bronze noticed himself in a mirror, and now his tan skin was much closer to the dark blue of his balrog fur, but was still pale enough to be a gray tone, and his horns were now the right shade of yellow. 'I can change myself too? I hope I don't expose myself.' Bronze jumped at feeling someone squeeze his butt in passing, and he couldn't see the culprit in the crowd, but he did see the source of girlish giggling nearby, and he huffed. 'Women. I swear, the moment I got ripped I lost my identity.'

“Hey~ big fella! Can I get a picture?” At a young woman and her girlfriends all casually dressed in light clothes approaching with cameras, Bronze decided to ignore his indignation at being a piece of meat, and instead revel in it. He'd have to get used to it.

“Zure you can handle all thiz ZTRENGTH in your photoz?” Bronze popped his pecks, getting hoots and cheers which started gathering attention. “Be warned; that Gamora Junkie defiez all expectationz!” Hamming it up a bit, he posed like Alex Louis Armstrong might, and gestured with his head for the woman to stand next to him, and she eagerly clung to his flexed arm, smiling as her friends took pictures.

“Me! Me!”

That was actually how Bronze spent most of the con. With women constantly asking to take pictures. He actually grew to like the attention, but most of the fun was when he'd role-played with a few other Homestuck role-players in a pantomimed epic battle, ending with the John Egbert cosplaying woman standing victor over him after his failed attempt at ruining their timeline out of spite of his own dead timeline.

He considered shopping, but didn't want to miss his parents getting home in the afternoon, if they did today. He was sorely tempted to browse the wares of someone who actually pulled off a perfect Resident Evil 4 Merchant costume, but the prices he saw from afar were outrageous. Besides, the only thing he might've been interested in was a giant backpack exactly like the vendor's, but he abstained and left. Upon doing so, Bronze shivered, and looked at the eerie red-eyed Merchant through the crowds, the man seeming to be intently staring at him. His instincts screamed at him to leave, so he did, never finding out just why that man unnerved him so.

[@]

Bronze got home without incident, the odd sense of normality was sobering and welcome. After entering his home by knocking on the sliding glass doors and Jeeves opening them for him, he decided to go to his room and-Twilight's on his computer....

TWILIGHT IS ON HIS COMPUTER!

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!” Bronze bolted into the room, and vainly tried to block the 40 inch screen from the gaping, thankfully dressed woman's eyes. “How did you turn it on?! How did you know my password?! WHAT UNHOLY SIGHT BEHIND ME HAS TAINTED YOUR INNOCENCE?!” His questions went unanswered, but the sight of drool and her perked nipples through the simple purple dress was indicative enough as he chanced a look behind him, and he groaned. “Pony stallion porn? That actually looks like your stallions back home? Where the HELL did you find...okay, forget the question, the internet is a terrifying place.”

“It's an AMAZING place!” Twilight shot back with admiration in her voice. “Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to get ahold of a copy of Playfilly with content even half this good?” Twilight stated, before she gestured for him to move aside. “Besides, I've discovered a holy grail of information on your world. This Wikipedia is just so informative!”

“Twi, I refuse to let you use MY computer to masturbate! That's what I use it for!” Bronze said defensively, and Twilight huffed indignantly. “Look, with all this weird magic mumbo-jumbo going on, I could probably get you your own computer, take it into Equestria, and it'd still work like my phone does.”

“I'll PAY you for a computer! Having so much information on-hoof, not to mention the entertainment value of this thing called YouTube! I mean, there are so many useful and informative documentaries I would have never even known about!” Before Twilight could continue gushing over the scion of madness that is the fabled internet, Bronze clasped her shoulders and shook her.

“Get ahold of yourself mare! You're letting it consume you! I'd only recently broken free myself, trust me; that way lies the path to solitude!” Bronze implored her, only for her to look at him incredulously. “Yes, it is that dangerous. On the internet, NOTHING is sacred! If they-.” He pointed at the screen, which still had a perversely splayed pink unicorn stallion with penis unsheathed and fully erect. “Knew of your world proper, not even Celestia would be spared their perverse, sick, twisted-!”

“Actually...they somehow already know about us...!” Twilight interrupted with a blushing nervous expression, and at him blinking in confusion, she laughed nervously as she clicked the back button, revealing a picture of Celestia herself enjoying the pleasures of her Guards, getting Bronze to look away and sigh. “So...whatever sort of magical focal point it was, it must have inspired at least one visionary in your world and now...we're already objects of your world's obsessions, perversions....” Twilight's face burned red as she clicked back again, showing a picture of herself in coitus with an orange pegasus with blue hair. “...Romance fantasies....”

“I cannot possibly feel any more ashamed of my world than right now....” Bronze groaned as he walked out of the room. “Jeeves, please escort Miss Sparkle home, and then see to it that any evidence of her having been here is erased in a proper manner. My parents might be home soon.” At Bronze mentioning his parents, Twilight's attention snapped from the compromising image of herself to what he'd said.

“Wait! Your parents? I thought you lived alone.” Twilight asked as she left the room, Jeeves sidling past her to erase her accumulated browser history.

“No, I quite clearly have told you girls that I live with my parents...haven't I? I'm pretty sure I mentioned it a few times.” Bronze couldn't remember if he'd told them now. He was pretty sure Twi had a better memory and attention span than him, so if she didn't remember then maybe he hadn't.

“You probably told one of the other girls and they just didn't tell us, and you forgot to mention it to the rest of us. Either way, this is news to me. What are they like?” Twilight couldn't remember if he'd told her either. Things had been hectic the past several days.

“Well, my mom; Maria Robinson, last of the Roch family women of her generation, is an overtly critical, spiteful, more-than-a-little racist and slightly suicidal 50-something year-old woman. My dad; Ronald Robinson, the current patriarch of the Robinson clan, is a too-honest, too-trusting, too-impulsive and too stubborn 60-something year-old man who has survived 6 strokes with only minor brain damage robbing him the ability to speak.” Bronze practically seethed as he recalled his parents, not being able to say much nice about them to Twilight's concern. “Love 'em to death...just wish they didn't need me so much sometimes...I'm the youngest in my generation of seven siblings, and it falls to me to care for them in their failing health.”

“Oh no...I'm so sorry to hear that. No wonder this anomaly worked out like this; you were truly desperate for a way out....” Twilight realized as she looked at the front door, and then back to the suddenly depressed Bronze, who had fallen short of spirit at just thinking of his parents. They'd only been on vacation a month, visiting his siblings, but he hadn't missed them much to his despair. Nobody should think that of their parents. “Would it help if I stayed?”

“No...no. It'd make things worse, mom might even get violent if there was a woman in the house without her approval. And she's quick to lash out. Especially when the booze hits. Which is every night....” Bronze growled, and Twilight sighed worriedly before she quickly took his hint to leave.

On the other side of the closed door, the unicorn mare steeled herself, and felt it was time to write a friendship report. One that possibly included a little stool-pigeon act in informing her teacher of the brewing catalyst for disaster that was the awoken magician Bronze and his enmity for his parents that had sparked the incident of the Doorways to begin with. Hopefully she'll have ideas to prevent his astounding awakening and growing power from causing a Cascade and destroying all life as she feared could happen, considering the vast differences between their worlds.

[@]

The clock struck 4PM. His mom called ahead a few hours ago, telling him to expect them around now. His dogs weren't freaking out in excitement, so they weren't here yet. He paced in anxiety, going over in his head how to go about this. 'Hey ma! I'm a mythological creature of great power now! Please don't kill my friends for their hides! They're not for RIDING ma! IT ISN'T LIKE THAT THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS!' Bronze whimpered as he hysterically plopped onto his couch, putting his face between his knees as he fought down the sickness trying to well up his throat.

“Some stomach medicine sir?” Jeeves offered a small medicine cup full of opaque pink liquid, and Bronze promptly knocked it back, coughing at the horrible flavor as he handed the empty cup back to his butler.

“Thank you Jeeves.” Just seconds later, all the dogs started barking. That was the signal and he bolted up from the couch and out the glass door to intercept them at the gate.

“Hi son, how are the animals?” Mary Robinson, his mom, asked. She was standing outside the gate. She was only 5 foot 4 inches, had long graying blond hair, his same original blue eyes, and she was a generously proportioned woman. She was overweight, but that weight focused more in her chest and butt, so aside for health purposes, she saw no reason to lose weight. She was wearing a black tank top and jeans with tennis shoes, her “driving clothes”.

“Oh they're fine, we're fine, everything's fine here, now...how are you?” 'Gog damn it! If that didn't sound like that line from Star Wars I'd be hitting myself!'

“What'd you do?” Mary's tone instantly turned sour, leering at her son through the gate as she fished out her keys.

“Nothing...intentional.” Bronze said cautiously, and when she opened the gate, she froze at seeing him clearly, just not noticing he was much bigger than before, a wall of raw tan muscle with horns. If she hadn't recognized his voice, she'd have thought this man was a freak intruder.

“Son...what happened?” Mary's tone shifted again, this time to worry as she briskly walked up to him to examine him, ignoring the excited dogs crowding around her, even as Violet jumped up her for attention.

“Well...it's pretty damn unbelievable. First though; only go through the glass door right now. Jeeves will do anything you ask. Dad unloading the car?” 'Please go along with it, please don't demand answers right now, right here.'

“...Yes...alright. I'll be in the living room.” Mary walked past him, and he sighed in relief, even as he heard her scream “OH MY GOD!”.

“Okay...hardest part's over. Now for dad.” Bronze quickly walked out to the driveway, and saw his dad's shorts-wearing bum in the air behind the open trunk of the white sedan. “Hey dad. Need any help?” Bronze waited for his dad to respond, which was a more complex affair than one would think. Ronald Robinson, or Ron Rob/RR, had survived 6 strokes through unbelievable luck and sheer willpower. He didn't get away scott free, each one progressively robbed him of his speech, forcing them all to learn sign language since written word escaped him too. He could read it, but he couldn't wright.

It was hell that he forced himself to relearn to use a keyboard for the computer.

Ron stood up straight with a smile, only for his dark tan wrinkled cheeks to frown in confusion. Ron was about 5 foot 10 inches, meaning Bronze towered over both his parents before at 6 foot 3. That small discrepancy aside, they were clearly father and son, especially with his recent transformation. Even pot-bellied and wrinkled with his age and illness, Ronald Robinson stood tall and strong, his features mirrored Bronze's aside from the height and muscle mass. His dad instantly realized through his muddled, medicated haze that something was wrong with his son, and promptly began weaving words with his hands.

“No dad, I'm fine. Nothing's really wrong. I just need you to come inside so I can speak with you and mom at length about a lot of serious changes that have been going on with me and the house lately.” Bronze informed his dad, who again moved his hands in a clear way. “Yes, it is serious enough to leave the ice chest in the trunk for now. You might even forget it the news is that big.”

Ron silently shook his head and closed the trunk before he walked up the drive to the gate, and Bronze followed after.

[@]

“So let me get this straight.” Mary stated after Bronze had managed to stumble through a slightly censored version of the past several days. He left out getting brainwashed and nearly getting killed by a hydra, he just hoped to catch his friends on that before they spilled the beans. He'd rather his overprotective parents not know for as long as possible. “You're a wizard, like from that book series, and you accidentally turned the house into a crossroads?”

“Basically....” Bronze stood before them both, not sitting as he tried to stay calm. It was going well, all things considered. At least his dad hadn't decided to check for himself yet, and his mom hasn't gone for her beer yet either.

“...Well...thanks son.” Mary said, surprising him as she smiled bemusedly. “You've basically made my dream house, and now you have to move out.” Both Bronze and Ronald gaped at her in disbelief. “I mean, your room is the only one still not blocked by a dimensional gateway, and I'm not about to take a trip through happy magical pony land just to get to my room.”

Ron got her attention by waving his hands, and then rapidly made very aggressive gestures, his displeasure quite apparent.

“Honey, no. We have no idea what going through them would do in your condition.” Mary protested in exasperation as Ron continued to assert his position on the matter with an all-too-familiar look in his eyes. “I'm not talking you out of this am I?” At a simple shake of his head, Mary sighed while Bronze was grinning. This time; his dad totally had his back! Ron defended that they had to at least give it a try, and it was unfair to force their son out of the house for things out of his control. The fact his points that the house was beautiful and they had a butler now kinda gave her no ground. “Alright son, we'll visit Equestria and we'll go from there.”

Before Bronze could do anything else however, the door upstairs to Fluttershy's was knocked on quite firmly, and he began ascending the stairs to it. “Odd, what could Shy need?” Bronze opened the door, and paused at the sight of all his friends aside from Zecora, Mayor Mare, Derpy, that perverted mint-green unicorn that masturbated on his couch, and both princesses. “Uh...can I help you all? I'm in the middle of talking to my parents about all this.”

“We know, and we were hoping to all gather earlier, but we hope to speak with your parents to help...settle things.” Celestia said, hiding that most of the reason was because if he became distressed enough on the side of the connection that was fragile, aka: his world's, then the possibility of a reality-ending cascade was enough to pardon court, and wake up her sister in the middle of the day.

“Oh, actually that's perfect! Me and dad both just convinced my mom to at least give Equestria a try. Hold on.” Bronze closed the door, and rushed downstairs in excitement. “Good news! My friends, the mayor of Ponyville and both of the princesses are upstairs wanting to speak with you! I'm guessing Twi blabbed about you getting back today.”

His parents looked nervously at each other, and both stood up at the same time. “Well I best give these ladies the courtesy of me meeting them if they're going to associate with my son.”

“Mom it's not like that.” Bronze said in exasperation with a sigh.

“I can't let just any floozy get near my son. You can't deny it. I noticed the look you had when mentioning Pinkie, Applejack and Zecora.” Mary said factually as she passed him, his dad rubbing it in with a few quick hand motions and a grin.

“Damn it dad! They're just friends! We just met!” Bronze yelled after them with a vibrant blush. 'Please, PLEASE let this go right.'

Upon reaching the top, he saw his parents standing stock still at the open Doorway, gawking at the sight that greeted them. Everypony managed a friendly smile, some awkwardly, and gave a wave. “Hello! You must be Bronze's parents-.” Mary promptly slammed the Doorway shut, on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Mom! You just slammed the door at Princess Celestia! She's the highest authority of the land there!” Bronze was about to open the door back up as his dad backed off, but his mom grabbed his wrist.

“Son, when you said they were ponies, I thought you meant anthropomorphic ponies like how you're now like...this.” Mart gestured to him, and he rolled his eyes.

“Once again, you don't listen. I TOLD you they were ponies, and that I became a balrog when I went over. Anything that comes in from their side becomes human-like while anything that goes there from here becomes a race of their world. Here, I'll show you.” Bronze muscled past, getting a wince out of his mom who cradled her hand at him so easily shrugging her off, and opened the door before passing through, becoming his 12 foot colossal form. “Sorry for that. My mom is really easy to disturb.” Bronze turned around to see his gaping mom, and rolled his eyes before he gestured to her. “For instance.”

“For instance?! You just turned into a giant-!” Mary screeched as she briskly walked through the Doorway, only to gasp and fall to all fours. “Ah!”

The sight surprised them all, especially Bronze, but Twilight recovered the quickest and wooped. “Griffins! Knew it!”

Mary Robinson was suddenly a griffin. Her lion body's fur was a soft platinum blond, her eagle head's plumage was the expected white, styled to look like a smooth wave of feathers aimed back, and her deep blue eyes really shined through. She was also impressively shapely with a strong chest, svelte waist, and pronounced flanks. The fact she was no bigger than the average pony was a big offset though.

“Mom?! Is there something I need to know?!” 'ZOMG! AM I ADOPTED?!'

“What are you on about?” Mary demanded as she tried to stand on two legs, only to flare her new broad platinum blond wings as she lost her balance, and fell back to her new talons. “What the fuck?” She held her right talon up to her face, and moved it in amazement. “Wow...just...wow!” She experimentally moved around, feeling unusually comfortable in her movements. “I'm...not in pain. My arthritis, my osteoporosis, my gallbladder...I'm....” Mary suddenly burst into tears, panting as her wings flared in jubilation. “I'm not in pain!”

“Why should you be? Are you not in your prime?” Luna asked in confusion, the still filly-sized alicorn tilted her head at the transformed queen. “I had thought that griffins didn't develop such deficiencies until at least their 160s.”

This got most everyone gaping, especially Mary. “I-I'm...50ish. So...where am I in terms of age here?” Mary asked hopefully, and Luna looked bewildered at her question.

“A healthy young queen in her prime. You have potentially a good 250 years ahead of you, should you age gracefully.” Luna informed factually, and Mary suddenly squeed in utter joy.

“We're living here!” Mary's sudden declaration surprised Bronze as she turned to face the doorway. “Honey~! Come on! You were the one who wanted to give this place a try!”

Ron sighed and promptly did as his wife urged. Upon stepping through, he surprised everypony, especially Luna and Celestia with his form. He was massive compared to the average pony, easily dwarfing them at thrice their size. He was a powerfully muscled tiger-hawk griffin, his red and black striped tiger body rippling with corded muscle and his brown hawk head with hooked beak was quite intimidating, his plumage was a messy short mop of red-tinged brown feathers, and his light blue-gray eyes looked himself over curiously, before he inspected his talons, and went through a few phrases.

“Uh...I'm not sure either dad. Kinda new here too. Why is he so different from mom?” Bronze asked as he turned away, not noticing his mom's vibrant blush as she shamelessly inspected her husband, who had noticed and puffed out his chest.

“Your father is a rare species of griffin, a tiger-hawk. They're known for being fierce, territorial, and keep to themselves. They rarely ever leave the highlands of Griffonia.” Celestia was interrupted by a surprised squawk, and they all turned their attention to Bronze's parents. Mary had Ron's tiger tail in her beak and was briskly dragging him into the nearby patch of woods, safely a good distance from Everfree proper, and Celestia giggled. “It would seem your mother needs to scratch the itch.”

Bronze gagged and blushed as he covered his face in his hands. “TMI Tia!” Bronze sighed as he plopped to his rear. “Everypony...that was my parents.” A loud squawk from the woods and Mary's scream of “OH YES!” made them all blush as he curled in on himself. “They're usually...more reserved in mixed company.”

“Now darling, the urge gets the best of all of us now and again, especially during a certain time of year, but aside from your mother giving in to her needs, they seemed quite-.” At a rapturous cry from the woods, Rarity had to blush deeper alongside everyone else. “Oh my...um...as I was saying. They seemed to be rather fine folks. Better than mine at least....” Rarity mumbled at the end, and after another squeal of pleasure, Twilight finally had the sense of mind to put up a silencing charm.

“That will last for a few hours. Might need to, considering griffin mating rituals can last several hours.” Twilight informed, and Bronze groaned as Rarity consolingly pat his bicep, and Dash flew over.

“Hey, buck up big guy! My parents went at it like rabbits when I was still living at home, and my mom? She can seriously squeal.” Dash admitted, getting Bronze to chuckle at her misfortune. “I mean, I've got several brothers out of all of it, but hearing them being...ugh, made? TMI mom and dad, TMI.”

“Thanks Dash.” Bronze said with a chuckle, before he sighed. “So, yeah, I think that settles things. My parents might just move to Ponyville considering how excited my mom was to live pain-free. We'll have to see how my dad's condition was affected. I doubt even these things could fix several strokes.” Bronze said sadly as he went up to his Doorway and closed it after his pets decided to come out and visit Shy again.

“I am glad to see that everything turned out for the best. Enjoy Equestria Bronze. Consider yourself a citizen. Come along dear sister, the country doesn't run itself unfortunately.” Celestia charged up her horn, but Luna moved away and waved to her with a hoof.

“Actually, sister, I deign to speak with Bronze Brave. Regarding my terrible manipulations of him.” Luna stated seriously, and Celestia sighed before she vanished in a wink of golden light.

“Luna, I don't blame you. You weren't yourself.” Bronze instantly stated. He wasn't one to hold grudges for things outside of other's control.

“On the contrary. Twas I who caused the allegiance spell.” Luna admitted sadly, facing the bewildered balrog. “I had been alone on the moon for a thousand years. I had been without any sort of contact, either verbal, visual, or physical. And you were the first living thing to touch me in any way. I instantly latched onto the concept, and instinctively sought out companionship of some form. This gave form to the first spell that Nightmare thought of, and...I'm sorry.” Luna's eyes dripped liquid shame, but to her surprise, Bronze swiftly approached and brought the tiny mare up to his chest for a nuzzling hug. “Mmf?” Luna asked through his chest fur.

“Oh, little Woona. I'll gladly give you all the hugs you could ever want.” Bronze cooed and freed an arm to scratch her behind the ears, getting Luna's eyes to roll back as she cooed and nuzzled deeper into his chest at the blissful gesture of comfort. His friends all giggled at the adorable display. Seeing a 12 foot balrog affectionately coddle what visually was a filly was just precious. “Well then, today was eventful.” Bronze stated as he sat, leaving Luna in his lap as he continued to massage her head and neck, the tiny mare sighing in blissful content as she gladly remained, only annoyed at how undignified doing this in public was, but oh~ his fingers were like magic.

“Indeed. It would seem however that our presence was unnecessary.” Mayor stated alongside the minty unicorn and Derpy. Said pegasus joined in on coddling Luna what with her motherly instincts kicking in and she saw to the tiny alicorn's preening, getting a huff of gratitude out of the Princess of the Night as she obligingly spread her wings. She hadn't received a decent spa treatment since she'd arrived, being too busy trying to acclimate to the new political and cultural arenas. This was no spa, but damn if it wasn't enjoyable and relaxing.

“Hey...um...I'm Lyra. Sorry for before.” The minty unicorn finally introduced herself. “I'm an anthropologist. Probably the only anthropologist on Equus for that matter. I generally specialize in minotaurs, centaurs, satyrs and other such creatures that share simian traits.”

“Good to know your name. I have a stain on my couch to label.” Bronze teased, getting a suitably ashamed blush out of Lyra, and a few incredulous looks from the others. “Regardless, once I'm done helping Luna get over her concerns, I'm going to bed. Today's been busy.”

“Mm...might I offer...a bed in the palace? Last apology, I promise.” Luna swore as Derpy finished arranging her feathers and removing a few loose ones.

“...Just how soft are we talking here?” Bronze asked curiously, and Luna beamed up at him adorably.

“Like clouds.”

Author's Note

Bronze is having a bit of an existential crisis at the moment. What with Bruce Almighty levels of bullcrap going on at home, and now finding out he might be adopted (he's not).

The Con and the Merchant are references to all those LoHaV stories out there that originated from a single source, and Bronze just evaded becoming another of the interdimensional being's little toys.

That isn't to say that some other poor schmuck didn't fall for that pack~.

Friendship and More....

Bronze didn't wake up when his alarm went off. He didn't stir when some crashes happened outside. He certainly didn't even twitch when emergency sirens filled the air and police helicopters were out in force. He did, however, jolt awake when he heard frantic ringing of his doorbell and authoritative shouting. “Is anybody home?! We need to evacuate all lawful citizens to the trade center in the face of the mass looting!”

'Shit, shit, shit! Can't let them know we're here. Our pets are at Shy's thank gog, but what about Jeeves and my parents? Also, fucking looters?! We're inland! Was our society on such a tilt that just something this bad would cause even unaffected areas to go batshit?' Bronze remained silent, and his parents must've been in Equestria, while Jeeves stood in his bedroom doorway dutifully silent until the police officers could be heard leaving, moving onto the next house. “Jeeves, where are my parents?”

“In Equestria Sir. I have isolated the dimensional space of their bedroom so they do not hear or see anything outside it at the moment, and have also sealed the windows.” A gunshot rang out just across the street, and numerous sources returned fire, it was over in a few seconds. “It would seem that sir Brant across the street cracked under pressure and forgot his anti-psychotics.”

“Damn...shit...Jeeves-.”

“On it sir.” Jeeves somehow snapped his stone fingers, and suddenly all the commotion was gone. “I have submerged the house within the dimensional void between Earth and Equus. None will see anything different on Earth, but all windows and the sliding glass door are sealed. Things here will function as normal. I shall keep the house in stasis until I can confirm that Earth has ceased going quote “batshit” unquote.”

Bronze looked in awe and confusion at Jeeves. “Jeeves...just...what are you? Who are you?”

“I am Jeeves sir. The same friend you had since childhood, that your mother tried to erase by forcing you into therapy when you were 11. As for what I am; I am a subconsciously summoned alchemical and thaumaturgical construct to act as your remote focus for your intents to carry out magic. What you know, I know. What you don't know...I know as well. I am constantly monitoring the state of things as you subconsciously directed in order to maintain our secrecy.”

“Uh...fine then. I-.” Suddenly, Jeeves was holding a mug of hot tea.

“Tea sir?”

“...Thank you.” Bronze took the hot tea, and breathed in it's herbal aroma before sipping. Chamomile. Far from a favorite, but he needed to calm down. He knew just how to do so. “Jeeves, if you're my...wand, staff, or whatever. Can you change where the Doorways lead?”

“Only the upstairs bath sir. Since you have overcome your crippling fear of heights, it is now detached from a fixed point. Would you like me to connect it to Princess Luna's bedchamber? Or just outside it for privacy reasons?” Jeeves asked, and Bronze quirked his eyebrow at the construct. “Outside it is then.” Jeeves snapped his fingers again. “Is there anything else you require sir?”

“No, that will be all Jeeves. Feel free to do whatever you do to relax.” Bronze quickly chugged the normally scalding hot tea, and was going to take it to the kitchen only for it to vanish, and he sighed.

“Ah, organizing the old video collections. That right mess is taking forever to convert to DVD. A lovely monotonous task to distract.” Jeeves actually smiled as he went to the crawlspace door and went through it, making Bronze chuckle. Leave it to Jeeves to enjoy the boring things...that was why he helped balance Anthon out in his childhood.

[@]

“Of course, I forgot....” Bronze grumbled in his cell in the castle dungeon. “Only the NIGHT SHIFT knows me!” Upon opening his door, Bronze was promptly tackled, chained, and dragged off to the dungeon by an overly efficient series of white stallions in gold armor. They were probably rooting through his house as he sat here. He hoped nothing else bad happens.

“Bronze!” The balrog snapped his attention to Luna, who looked tired and concerned through the bars of the cell. “What happened?! Why are you here?” Luna only knew that he'd “infiltrated” the castle through an “illegal” portal and that said “criminal” was a dark blue minotaur with curled horns. Luna about killed the Solar Guard who reported this with her Royal Canterlot Tone when she realized they'd assaulted her friend.

“Hey Lulu. Kinda wanted to visit, but forgot it was daytime. Things back home aren't...safe right now.” Bronze admitted, and Luna deflated even though she'd perked at the nickname he'd assigned her.

“What further horror hast my actions wrought?” Luna asked in despair, and Bronze sighed before he resigned himself to downing his friend more.

“Looters. My city has fallen to anarchy and there are looters attacking and stealing whatever they want in all the panic. Likely there are gang uprisings, gang wars, all kinds of shit springing up in reaction to the worldwide catastrophe and the moon getting closer. Religions are probably declaring the End Times have come, again, for the seventeenth time in the past couple years. I'm also scared I might not have a home to go home to soon. If things get much worse...my world will destroy itself in the nuclear fires we've been stoking for so long.” Bronze sighed and wilted, Luna looked despondent that she'd done this to him. “Don't you dare apologize. It's been a long time coming. There's little good left in my world that hasn't been perverted or corrupted. What you've seen with me is...sadly...maybe some of the best my world has to offer. Most people are too closed-minded, too scared of change and the unusual or new. We still war with ourselves, we still rape, pillage, plunder. There isn't much left to salvage, and my world's killing what was good as we speak.”

“This is horrible...is there nothing we can do?” Luna jumped in shock at her sister's voice as Celestia rounded the bend and appeared in front of the cell. Bronze clenched his teeth, only for Luna to interject.

“She knows Bronze...I told her because I didn't want you to be the only one I burden with my sins. I don't want anypony else to know however.” Luna stated seriously as Celestia nuzzled her sister in understanding.

“Sister, I've done terrible things too. Why do you think the deserts even exist?” Celestia admitted sadly before she looked at the worried balrog in the cell. “I apologize for my guards zealously apprehending you and attempting to do so with your butler as well. I've had them properly chastised and rotated to latrine duty for a week for not reading the reports I'd put out on your Doorways.”

“Heh, thanks for that. But no. There's nothing you can do. If Luna just moving our moon did this, then what could you do? You who control a star? You'd probably just finish what your sister started. No offense Lulu.” Bronze said sincerely to Luna who huffed in false indignation.

“Well! I guess we'd best leave you in there. Come along sister.” Luna said teasingly, and Celestia grinned mischievously as she trotted away with her sister, leaving Bronze to burst out in laughter at the ploy. They came back giggling and promptly unlocked the door. “Well, you've gotten me up with all this trouble you stirred, so now you have to pay for it with snuggles.”

“Oh? Luna, I didn't know you were courting.” Celestia joked, getting Luna to blush and Bronze to laugh.

“N-no! Tis not like that! If you had slept alongside him you too would know the superior comfort of snuggling a balrog!” Luna shouted in defense, before poking Celestia's peytral. “We demand you join us then! Feel the comfort of laying with a superior muscular specimen.” Luna stated with a straight face, getting both Bronze and Celestia to blush and look at each other.

“Hey, I'm admittedly tired. So long as I get to nap in Lulu's unnaturally soft bed again I'm fine with it.” At his words, Celestia looked thoughtful.

[@]

Bronze snorted as awareness returned to him, and he hugged the mare sleeping in front of him as he nuzzled into the back of her neck. 'Ugh...so comfortable...don't want to wake up....'

He felt and heard the mare he was snuggling yawn and her wings twitch. “Wow...that was *yawn* amazing.” Bronze opened his eyes to confirm from her white coat that he'd been spooning Celestia. “I haven't had a nap that good in...centuries. No wonder Luna demanded snuggles as retribution.” Celestia used her magic to gently pry Bronze's arms from around her and she climbed out, stretching in content.

“Mmph...welcome....” Bronze said as he moved around to get comfortable, only to realize Luna was still sleeping, spooning his back with her forelegs around his sides and her horn nestled between his neck and shoulder with her face nuzzling his right shoulder blade. Pillows being all that saved him from incredible neck pain.

“Thank you for the wonderful nap Bronze. But I have duties to get to.” Tia said softly before she put her accessories back on and left Luna's room. Had that been all, Bronze would've gotten up, but the warm mare spooning his back made his eyes grow heavier and he fell back asleep. He didn't wake up again until the sun was about to set, and Luna was yawning as she got up.

“Ah...that was wonderful. Thank you again for the lovely rest Bronze.” Luna said as she nuzzled his side, getting a chuckle out of him.

“Hey, not there. Sides are ticklish.” Bronze grunted as he sat up and stretched, not seeing Luna blush as she watched his broad back flex. “But I'm nocturnal again. I've got to see...Lulu?” Bronze asked as he turned to face his friend, only to be gawking.

“W-what?” Luna wasn't expecting such a look from him, but when he reached up to her head and pulled her ethereal mane forward, she knew why. Her mane was now filled with far more stars than before. It used to just be a veil of the night sky with soft stars speckled in it. But now, it was black as the night sky proper, the stars innumerable, and she saw galaxies and nebulae in her mane as well. “What? What's going on?” Luna stood, and just realized how much taller she was. “Whoa. Wow. Mirror.”

Luna managed to move her longer legs until she stood before her vanity, gaping at the sight. She was Nightmare Moon again! Only, her fur was still the dark night blue, and her mane and tail were much more magnificent than ever before, seeming to be scenes from the heavens above in living motion. She was now as tall as Tia, only more lithe. If she donned her full set of armor she'd be dead-ringer for Nightmare. But rather than distress, Luna felt...better. Better than ever. “What could have caused this?”

Luna's question quickly answered itself when her eyes widened and she looked to Bronze in amazement. “You've been returning the power I lost when Nightmare was destroyed! You were in the Element's blast too...so the Elements must have used you as a battery of sorts so my power didn't just linger and waste away.”

“Whoa...so...I'm responsible for turning you into a supermodel?” Bronze asked, getting a blushing nod out of the restored Lunar Diarch. “Well, glad I could help!” At a knock on the door, Bronze got up and approached it, opening it to reveal a nervous Princess Celestia, only.... “Why is your mane and tail all pink now?”

“I am...unsure. My hair started reverting back to pure pink shortly after I had returned to my duties from our shared slumber. I haven't had purely pink hair in centuries.” Celestia then peered in, and started at the sight of her sister. “You too Luna? You look even grander than ever.”

“Tis good to see some of your youthful vigor has returned sister. But we have figured it out; Bronze was acting as a battery holding our lost power as Nightmare Moon. His snuggles restored my power, and seem to have sparked some of your own. You had been getting rather plump since I'd last saw you so long ago.” Luna said teasingly, and Celestia blushed in embarrassment and anger.

“Hey! I...I can't resist cake okay? Besides, I wore it well.” Celestia looked back at her thinner barrel and thighs. Thankfully in her eyes; her flanks haven't lost much. She liked having a big plot. Stallions love big plots just as much as others.

“Okay...I feel a little awkward being in the middle of two sisters talking about their bodies so...I'm a go now. You two enjoy yourselves, I've got to talk to Zecora about my manticore coat and see what I'm going to do with the hydra leather.” Bronze stated to them both before focusing on Luna. “Lulu, don't forget the hydra's bones. I asked Zecora to leave them for you.”

“Oh, thank you Bronze. I shall fetch them when the night court has closed. Which shouldn't be long, not many petitioners are aware of my court opening yet.” Luna informed before turning to her sister. “Let us shift the night and day sister.” The two equal-height sisters then went to the balcony as Bronze exited Luna's door and turned left directly into his own Doorway.

[@]

Bronze had visited Zecora, who was sleepy and not willing to hang out tonight. She helped him free the manticore hide and went to bed. The hydra leather was surprisingly still damp, probably from the humid atmosphere of the Everfree, so he left it for now, it'd dry eventually unless it rained. However, any plans to work on the hide changed when it came through the Doorway as a finished hooded hide coat with separate hide pants and gloves. “Jeeves, how do these things work like this?”

“They mostly function off your subconscious sir. If something inanimate changes it is usually influenced by you, save clothing something or someone animate is wearing, then it is up for their own subconscious or conscious thought. But only you have so much influence, others are much more limited.” Jeeves informed from the towering shelves that now flanked the flatscreen TV on the walls, mostly full of DVDs. Likely, since Bronze didn't care for Blu-Ray, his collection was remaining DVD. Which he was absolutely fine with. “I would like to inform you that your parents and other friends have been trying to contact you. Have you been snogging the princess or zebra again sir?”

“Th-that's none of your business!” Bronze defended poorly. “Besides, I haven't snuggled Zecora yet.” Bronze blushed as he realized he'd let that slip. “Not a word.”

“Certainly not sir. I shall not relay your affection for fine members of the opposite sex in any way.” Jeeves stated in his consistent monotone, somehow sounding insincere and sincere at the same time. “Regardless, Lady Robinson has wished to inform you that they'll still want to live here, even if they can't go out in public on Earth anyhow. As for your friends, Applejack and Twilight both have wished to speak with you.”

“I have been a bit distant since the hydra incident...I'd better reassure them, but it's night...ugh...I need to reset my sleep schedule, or figure out how to live without sleep. I don't want to leave out either Luna or my other friends by choosing day or night over the other...jeez...having friends is hard. I want to spend time with them all, but there just isn't enough time or the times don't match up.” Bronze lamented, only for Jeeves to be staring at him. “What?”

“Are you certain? You wish to live without sleep?” Jeeves asked seriously, and Bronze blinked before nodding. “But you want to sleep now and then. How about this; I adjust your magic circuitry to provide stimulus to your brain when you wish to remain awake. You'll still have to sleep to let your body rest, but your mind won't become fatigued unless your magic is strained. This way, you can be up whenever you want, or sleep whenever you want.”

“That sounds great. Do it. Will it make sleeping easier too? Or will it make it harder?” Bronze asked as Jeeves approached and held his hands over his scalp.

“Normally sleep would be nearly impossible in such a case, but I'll provide a sort of “switch” so you can just nod off when you need or desire rest. It will also force you into a deep enough sleep to dream.” Jeeves' words really brightened up Bronze. He'd never dreamed before, not unless it was a disturbing vision of the future that inevitably came true. The Robinsons were cursed with precognition of a sort, especially in their sleep. But, they don't even know they've had the vision until they're slammed with vicious déjà-vu sometimes only seconds before the envisioned scene. This has allowed them to avoid death on more than a few instances.

Bronze would never admit it to anyone but family or his lovers, but he once just barely managed to avoid being hit by a speeding truck rounding a corner because he saw it coming in a flash of déjà-vu. Thing still clipped him because he couldn't react fast enough, scarring his arm from the mirror slicing him open. Of course, the bastard didn't even slow down.

“It is done. Since everyone else is asleep, you can knock yourself out if you wish. You'll wake up normally but the time spent asleep depends on the amount of rest your body feels you need. So don't stay up for too long unless you plan to waste a whole day on sleeping now and then.” Jeeves warned before moving back to the DVD library to keep assuring it's consistency.

“Thanks Jeeves, I'll get right on it then.” Bronze thanked before he turned to his bedroom and decided to take his nap.

[@]

Bronze was woken up by the feeling of a weight on his butt, and firm strong hands massaging his neck. Oh...obvious who it is then. “Mmm...AJ? I owe you a rub-down, not the other way around.” Bronze commented, but sighed in relief of the farm mare turned human relieving the tension in his neck. Sleeping with horns is annoying and hard on the neck, he probably just hadn't found the right position.

“That may be, but Twi told me ya probably would be hurtin' your neck until ya got used to your new bodies.” AJ replied calmly. “So where ya been the past couple a days?”

“Mostly hanging out with Luna and my friend Zecora.” Bronze responded, getting an unexpected gasp and pause from his buff and shapely friend. “What's up?”

“Zecora? Ya mean that cloaked and mysterious mare from the Everfree?” AJ asked worriedly, and Bronze grunted in confirmation. “W-well...what's she like?” The tone of fear and concern in her voice was notable, and AJ seemed distracted as she moved onto his shoulders, which while not as bad as the first time she did them; were much bigger and stronger than before, so she had to practically lean down onto him from her place on his butt to get his shoulder. Why was she focusing on sitting on his butt?

“Well, she's really sweet, and wise. She gives her advice freely and is an impressively world-weary mare for her young age. She's about the same age as you girls, yet she seems so much older. She's been very helpful in teaching me how to harvest animals for their bodies.” AJ was already down his back, and now scooted onto his legs. “AJ?”

“Y-you're not nearly as bad off as before, so there isn't much to do, but Ah'm going to check your plot and legs.” AJ reported, kneading her fingers into his boxer-covered bum, his newly-toned butt not having much give. “Wow, you're not shouting in pain Bronze. Your change must've undone all that knotting and straining.”

“Hm...yeah, you're right. Wow, it's relaxing more than painful this time.” Bronze commented, feeling incredibly at ease with Applejack's skilled hands moving down his legs, but she seemed to be palming him more than before, trying to search for anything out of place. “So yeah, Zecora's a nice mare. I'm glad to have met her. She'd be a great friend for you girls.”

AJ paused, and snorted. “Well, Ah guess Ah'll take your word for it.” AJ then rubbed his feet, and instead of pain, Bronze snickered as he tried not to laugh as she seemed to purposefully tickle him. “Alright, roll over. This time Ah'm doing your front.”

“Uh...okay, but I guess I owe you two massages now.” Bronze rolled over, and gasped as his eyes widened. AJ wasn't naked, but what she was wearing was much worse. She was in a tan faux-leather bikini with almost nothing save small triangles covering her nipples, and a thong covering her nethers. She smirked cheekily as she crawled on top of him, and sat on his pelvis. “Um...AJ?”

“Yeah Bronze?” Applejack asked as she leaned down to him, and pressed her hands into his pecs, making them jump as she hummed, her face in a thinking expression. “Responsive, Ah hope ya don't twitch too much while Ah work to find any knots.”

“I-I'll try.” 'I-is she doing this on purpose? Is she purposefully trying to seduce me, or is she simply rubbing it in? Pfft...just realized the pun I made.' Bronze mentally laughed at his terrible pun as AJ began rubbing his pecs, finding a knot in his upper left pec, and began kneading it out, making him groan at the pain, but grinned at her to show he'd bear it. “Dang, guess I've been popping them a bit much.”

“Well, Ah can get where you're coming from. Ah have so many different muscles in this body that Ah just have to give them some work myself. Ah mean, ya know how weird and interesting this is to me? Using these...fingers, to do something like this?” AJ asked with an earnest grin, taking her hands off him to wiggle her fingers with amusement. “It's darn amazing how much strength these little things have.”

“Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if you had the strength to actually rip the flesh clean off of living beings. I mean, a person with a grip strength of 50 pounds can actually break bones and squeeze the skin off of people-.” Bronze stopped at seeing AJ lean back off of him, looking at her hands in worry. “Sorry, I'm sorta a rambling source of information and-.” Bronze's eyes widened when he felt it. AJ's leaning back on his pelvis was pressing her impressive bum against his groin, and he hissed at the arousing sensation. “AJ. This is quickly entering realms of intimacy.”

“Huh?” Applejack asked with blinking eyes, being distracted from her hands-of-death and blushed when she felt a growing hardness under and between her butt cheeks. “O-oh...sorry Bronze. Guess Ah'll have to cut this session short too.”

“Don't mind, please get off, getting excited.” AJ promptly did so, and he sighed in relief with his eyes closed, but his boner wasn't going away, no matter how much he tried to think of turn-offs, and when he opened his eyes, he realized why. Applejack was staring...at the admittedly impressive tent in his boxers trying to peak through the fly flaps with her eyes wide, cheeks flushed, and hands twitching at her sides. “AJ, I can't calm down if you're going to ogle me like that.”

“Hm?” Applejack hummed in distraction, finally taking her emerald orbs from his groin to trail up his torso and finally look at his his slit blue eyes. “Ya say sumthin?” Bronze couldn't help but notice the way her thighs were rubbing together, how her fake leather bikini top strained against her swelling breasts. She was absolutely turned on right now.

“AJ...we can't just be friends if you can't think of me platonically.” Bronze informed her, and Applejack bit her lip, squirming a bit more as she groaned.

“Ah can't help it!” The farm mare growled, pointing at his groin. “Yer jus' so sexy! Yer kind, sweet, gentle, strong, smart, and honest to a fault at times. Yer jus'-!” AJ simmered, before wilting. “Why couldn't ya have become a pony when ya'll came to Equestria? Ah've been lookin' into it, but there's jus' no way a pony and minotaur are compatible. Size differences, species differences, can't even have little ones together, and I'm not goin' ta doubt Twilight.” Bronze was shocked when she just spilled it out for him, and she looked at him sadly. “But Ah can't help how Ah feel...Ah...Ah like ya Bronze. And more than as just a friend.”

“But we barely know each other. We've only met such a short time ago.” Bronze said as he took some of his blanket and sat up, hiding his groin with the balled-up covers. “But...then again, love acts so strangely. My parents tell me they fell in love over the course of a fateful weekend.”

“And my parents fell in love at first sight.” Applejack said wistfully, only a tinge of sadness in her fond tone as the change in topic helped her calm down a little. “Ah do believe in love at first sight Bronze. But this isn't the case. Ya just kept catching my eye. You proved to be Honest, Kind, Generous, Loyal, and have so much Laughter in ya. And recently, ya discovered Magic too.” Applejack informed, smiling softly at the astounded Bronze, who never thought such things of himself. “You try to tell the Truth when you can, you can be so Gentle at times it's amazing, you Lend yourself to others without needing money and never keep debts, you Jumped off a CLIFF to try and save us, and you found Joy in meeting us, and becoming our friend. You Felt it, didn't ya?”

Bronze gasped, his slit eyes dilated, and AJ could've sworn a Spark ignited in them. “Applejack...I...wow....” 'I knew what I've been through was a life-changing ordeal, but...wow....' He looked at his hands, actually looked at them for once, and didn't just see hands. He saw the hands of someone new, someone who had grown into a better person over the course of a few days through trials of strife and friendship that he'd unknowingly tackled head-on with a Bravery he never knew he had. He just let it roll off his back, just went with the flow as he was used to. “I...I'm...I don't know what to say.”

“Just shut up and kiss me.” Bronze looked up, only to have AJ kneel on his bed, lean against him, and press her lips to his in a swift and precise movement. A shot of pleasurable lightning shot through him at the contact, and the way she hummed told him the same thing happened to her as she leaned into him more, pressing her breasts to his chest as she put her hands on his shoulders, and he hummed in return as he closed his eyes, and wrapped his big arms around her, wanting to envelop her in his being.

They stayed like that for an unknown amount of time, just content to chastely kiss in each other's arms until they broke away, and look each other in they eyes, knowing that wonderful moment could never be taken back. “Well...I'll admit I never felt something so amazing as that.”

“Me either.” Applejack smirked as she sat on his blanket-covered lap, moving a hand up to make sure her stetson was still on her head, having lost track of herself in their embrace. “Well...Ah've never been in a relationship, so what now?”

“Now...we...I don't know. None of my relationships have ever been so...involved.” Bronze admitted, confused and worried about what they were supposed to do next, but then shrugged, AJ finally able to openly appreciate how his body's muscular form rippled with every movement. “I guess we just do what comes natural.”

“Well Ah want to do that again. Can we?” AJ asked pleadingly, hope in her eyes, and Bronze smiled at her.

“Why the hell not?”

[@]

They had ended up kissing and talking for over an hour before Applejack finally got to the original reason she'd gone to Bronze's home. The timber wolves were back and getting “frisky” with the trees on the edge of her orchard, and when she went into further detail on what she meant by frisky.... “Get out. You mean to say these things actually BREED with trees?”

“Eeyup. Now we're gonna have some apple wolves on our hooves soon if we don't burn the trees down. Not a bad thing, not a good thing either. Apples they produce are delicious, but they're just as ornery as their less productive kin if they ain't domesticated young. We weren't planning on it, but we can raise some of the little pups just fine. They eat vegetation more than meat, they're just used to takin' anything they can get their teeth on.” AJ shook her head sadly. “Poor things are just wild critters tryin' to survive. They don't know any better, but they done crossed the line when they jumped mah fence and got Bloomette and Stem knocked up.”

Bronze laughed, even knowing she was completely serious, and adjusted his 50 pound sledge on his shoulder. “Well, I don't have any qualms with hunting some invasive creatures down. How many do you think I'll have to cull to get them to leave the area?” Bronze asked his...marefriend, that's what she said the term was.

“All of 'em.” AJ said, getting Bronze to pause on the walk through her orchard, getting her to blink and look back at him. “What is it?”

“And...how many is 'all of them'? I'm strong AJ, but I don't have any illusions of me fighting off like, twenty of them at once. At least not without armor or some sort of flame weapon, and since I'm fighting in a forest the fire is out of the question.” 'Maybe I should head back for my chainsaw...huh...how will that be affected by the Doorway?'

“Well...mah pa, Faust rest his soul, once told me when I was just a little filly, a story about him fighting off a whole score of 'em to protect the town. 'Course, he could'a just been tellin' a tale to impress me, but Ah got my sense of Honesty from mah parents, so on the worse end...uh...maybe forty?” Applejack finally thought it over, and gulped. “Uh...on second thought, what with me bein' yer marefriend now...Ah suddenly don't want ya fightin' timber wolves....'

“I'm already under contract to hunt them anyway AJ, but I'm not equipped to fight so many of them. I'll have to head back an-AH~!” Bronze screamed in sudden agony, falling to his knees and dropping his hammer as he clutched his head, his eyes completely muted out by a blindingly bright white light that made them seem like spotlights.

“BRONZE! What's wrong?!” AJ moved up to him, seeing his body dumping sweat off of him, his eyes trying to close but unable as the magic pouring out of them forcing them open, and his horns also shimmering wildly with uncontrolled power.

“M-my magic! I can't! Why?!” He panted, feeling tired and weak, so drained. Something was taking all his energy from him.

“Ah'm getting Twilight! Stay awake!” Applejack shouted helplessly over the growing keening sound of his magic flaring, and she galloped away, cringing as he screamed wordlessly in the pain of his violent Magic Flare.

Author's Note

I can see myself falling in love with a girl like Applejack. I value Honesty above most things, Loyalty second, and Laughter as being crucial to life. But I can only ever see myself being friends at most with people like Dash or Pinkie, as while I like fun; I prefer it to be a bit more subdued and calm, putting me Twilight's Book Club XD

I was raised around people who were cruel, spiteful, and dismissive of my existence my whole life, so I was always alone until high school. If I found myself in this kind of situation...I don't think I'd come out of it the same person.

A World Gone, a World Gained.

Bronze was knelt on the grass, screaming in wordless agony as he clutched his hands into the ground. His horns burned, his eyes felt like pools of lava. Tears tried to pour forth, but quickly turned to steam in the heat of the magic leaving his eyes. But it wasn't ending. His magic wasn't leaving him like he thought. It seemed to have no end, no bottoming out. It practically oozed from his every pore, was ripping from every fiber of his being. The grass around him changed from a lush green to an alien blue, red, orange, and then a dead brown, before turning green again. The trees actually had their fruits change from apples, to oranges, mandarins, grapefruits, then back to apples, but the wrong kinds.

He could see them. People screaming, running, dying in mass. The clouds. The mushroom clouds. The flash of light that reduces them to shadows on walls. That leaves those in the outer rims of the detonation shambling corpses for several minutes. The radiation that turns anything outside that lucky instant death into a slowly dying bag of tumors. The fallout that slowly cooked everything alive across the planet like a giant microwave. The brown earth and blue sky began to turn green. The oceans red and orange with dead sea life, the land blasted to nothing. Every major civilization erased in calculated explosions. They were dying.

'Save them! SAVE them! SAVE THEM~!' Bronze's very being screamed, seeing people being grabbed by an invisible force as one of his Doorways appeared near them, flinging them to who-knows-where. 'I HAVE TO SAVE THEM!' Bronze began weeping, seeing as he could only save so many before the bombs claimed them, but he felt his Doorways moving faster, his power surging more. He could not see his left leg start to physically unravel in whipping white tendrils of energy from his body unable to take the strain, nor could he feel it.

The only comfort was he saw the faces of his family, his friends, and even those he interacted with on a regular basis were plucked from the Earth first, likely subconsciously, but he still kept going, his power wanted him to save as many as he could, and damn it; he was going to! “NO~!” Bronze screamed, seeing Las Vegas be claimed by several nukes, he couldn't save anyone there anymore! “YOU BASTARDS~! YOU BLEW IT UP~!”

“BRONZE!” The girl's screams of his name fell on deaf ears. He could only hear the deafening explosions, the screaming, the crying, the pained screech of the very planet as it died, the life it supported with it. He grabbed all he could before they were claimed unjustly by the wanton death and destruction. He didn't care who they were. Young, old, man, woman, saint, sinner. He would save them if he could. Nobody deserved this!

“AH~!” Bronze screamed as he felt as if a bomb had gone off in his chest, but really his torso seemed to be boiling, warping and trying to keep form as his other leg began to unravel. His old home in Florida, as much as he claimed detachment from it, was now gone. It was just a suburb in the middle of nowhere, and they still targeted it.

He wept, he wept for the dead, the taken, all the ones he couldn't save as he reached across the world, his Doorways opening and closing at rapid-fire, yanking people through them with an invisible hand. Wherever they ended up was better than there, he didn't care where, just to safety. “BRONZE!” He felt hooves on his face, and suddenly the visions of death and destruction were overlaid by the face of a friend he'd made, a friend he swore himself to. “FOCUS ON ME!” He could see her through the visions that tried to take forefront. Luna. “FOCUS ON ME YOU FOAL!”

“Luna! They're dying! I can't...I can't!”

“YOU MUST! I WON'T LET YOU DIE WITH THEM! THINK ONLY OF ME!”

Bronze tried, he tried to ignore their pleas for salvation, their cries to gods that did not exist, or did not care. He cared too much. He thought he didn't, he thought he was a cold-hearted monster, but he wasn't. He wept as he leaned into his friend's shoulder, crying, he felt something sprout from his back, ripping his essence from him. “BRONZE! HEAR ME! FOCUS ON MY SISTER! IT IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE!”

“LUNA~!” Bronze screamed, focusing on everything he knew of her. Her personality, her form, her power, her night, she encompassed his being and he heard her scream with him. All went dark.

[(X)]

*beep, beep, beep, beep....* The beeping...the infernal beeping of a heart monitor. 'Silence.' It stopped. 'Thank you.' Bronze wasn't on life-support, thank gog. No tube to pull out, just the helpful little air tubes in his nostrils. 'They had time to take out my nose ring? Must not have been as serious as I thought. But....' The visions returned, but without the pain. This time though, it was just visions. It wasn't happening in real-time. It was over. Earth was gone. What he could see, somehow, was nothing but barren radioactive wasteland. All life on the planet was gone...save.... 'Some are alive...bunkers, cellars, the ones far enough away from civilization to survive the initial blasts and fallout. Help them....'

Nothing happened. “Help them....” His voice was hoarse, weak, he felt so tired. Nothing was happening. “Help them....!”

{You must rest sir.}

'I don't care Jeeves! Help them!'

{You cannot strain yourself further, you would waste the lengths the Sisters went to in order to save you. You are no longer rooted in the universe Earth inhabits. You cannot just reach across realms to there so casually anymore.}

'HELP THEM!' Everything was silent, save some weak shudders and sobs from the blanket covered Bronze, who only realized now that he was laying on his side, which felt oddly comfortable compared to being supine since his horns were gone...he felt so...odd without them. Their now familiar weight was missing, and it made him feel violated.

{...Very well sir. I will do what I can. I will focus on saving the surfacers first. But it will be slow going.}

'Just...try...please....' Bronze sniffled, tears running from his closed eyes as he wept quietly for a dead world.

He didn't know how long he was laying there, crying feebly. He drifted in and out of consciousness. The wailing screams and death knells of those who had to suffer the horrid agony of intense radiation haunted his sleep, like an endless nightmare. He should've been able to control if he slept, but his body was too weak, too drained, and demanded he rest. He knew forcing himself awake would only make his recovery take longer, so he let himself remain semi-comatose.

After watching millions die a slow, horrid death, he woke to the oddly gentle caress on his cheek by a hoof and sweet whispers of somepony he needed right now, but his eyelids were too heavy to open at the moment to see her. “Luna....”

“Hush my friend...you needn't speak. Just know that I am here along with fair Applejack and Zecora.” Luna said gently. “We being those closest to you among your friends have gathered here for support. Having too many faces at once might hurt you more than help. You need your strength.”

“Ah'm so glad you're okay Bronze. Ah was so scared...ya jus'....” AJ uttered with a whimper in her tone.

“You have been resting for days dear friend, and much has happened which we believe is your business to tend.” Zecora intoned, and Bronze coughed before a straw was put to his lips, and he gladly sucked on it for the refreshing nirvana that was clean water.

“Thank you. The people I saved...how many made it here? I was grabbing so many, I couldn't count.” Bronze asked, hoping they made it here, but considering how frantic he was, he didn't know how many might have arrived, or been flung into the Void. 'Where did...yes...the Void is the realm of nothingness that somehow has presence, which is the barrier between all universes in the multiverse. Where is this knowledge...how...vast is....' Bronze was lost for a moment, knowledge he didn't know seemed to come to him, giving him a headache. “Ow....”

“I sense you are awakening to your Aspect. I...am sorry Bronze. But it was the only thing Sister and I could think would save you from your Ascension Level magic surge. When most achieve such a thing, they explode, reform, and explode again, becoming the very essence of what they'd reached and do not take the form they needed to survive.” Luna informed, and Bronze finally opened his eyes, looking at the beautiful face of his dear friend and fellow nocturnal being.

“What are you talking about, I-.” Bronze froze when he reached out to her. His hand was gone. His eyes widened and he began hyperventilating as he pulled up his other foreleg to see that yes; he was a pony now, the black legs and hooves being the obvious tell. “MY HANDS! WHY?! I loved my hands!” Bronze felt something on his back twitch, and suddenly his covers were flung off by the noticed new muscles, exposing his new body to the cold hospital air, and he turned his head to look at his velvety black bat wings in shock, before looking down and seeing black fur on his body rather than the silver lower body fur. That silver was instead his wild and shaggy mane and tail, both were cut short in a clearly unprofessional way. On his flank was a cutie mark, it was a Celtic Boar, like on his-. “Nose ring! PLEASE tell me I still have it!”

“I-it's right here colt, calm down.” Bronze quickly looked to his new marefriend to see her holding up a small bronze and boar-engraved nose ring that was clearly his, and he instinctively grabbed it in his deep blue telekinesis and calmed down as he put it back in his nose after yanking the breaking tubes from it, feeling more himself with something that was his and not...this body.

“What happened to me?” Bronze asked in despair as he looked up and saw a single horn on his forehead rather than the two curled horns he'd had. “Am I...an....”

“Alicorn you have become, for it is the only known being who's power won't make them be undone.” Zecora explained from AJ's side. The two seemed oddly close to each other. This wasn't a small room he noticed, it was a private suite actually, but he could worry about that later. He was having an existential crisis at the moment.

“Alicorn?! But-but-but!” Bronze pointed a hoof at the Moon Goddess before him, and she sighed sadly before nodding.

“In order to stabilize you, I...I acted as the template. We're practically related now. Like siblings!” Luna beamed. Ecstatic at the thought of having a little brother, only to wilt at him shaking his head in horror.

“N-no...no! I'm not...I can't! How?!” Bronze looked down at his hooves in horror. “I can't be that powerful! I...I....” 'I don't want this! I just...wanted....' Bronze put his hooves to his new face, crying as the three mares all moved in closer and nuzzled his neck, shoulder and barrel comfortingly. 'I'm a god? No...no....'

{It was going to happen sir. The odd circumstances were all in perfect alignment. You just evaded this happening in another way. In a more sinister way.}

'What are you saying Jeeves? That this was fate? That I didn't have a choice?' That thought made Bronze choke. Everything was moving too fast. It all started with a wish for something better, how is THIS better?! 'With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility! I wanted my responsibilities to lessen! I just wanted to live in happiness like anyone else!'

{Such selfish thinking is normal for a living creature. But such is exactly what allowed you to ascend. You opened the door at exactly the right time as a leyline had shifted right under you, aligning with the leyline of Golden Oaks in Equestria. You wished for something new, and viewed the door as a gateway to possibility. This was all the two worlds needed to make the first connection. The surge of energy awoke something in you. Opening the other doors. It grew. Your power began leaking to other things. You became a balrog, obtained actual magic on Equus. Your power grew still, unchecked. Then your new instincts allowed you to evade the trickery of the one who had planned to use you.}

Bronze sniffled as he calmed down, the mares deciding to leave him be when he didn't respond, leaving him alone like he wanted. 'Who...the...the Merchant?' Bronze remembered...that creepy Resident Evil 4 Merchant vendor at the library Convention.

{Yes. He was an interdimensional being of great power, and he held trinkets in his possession that would fling their possessor to other worlds in new forms. The one that called to you, held the pure essence of an Elder God of Chaos. Had you decided to take that item like he wanted, you would have become the Elder God's new avatar instead of your friend.}

'Who? Who did that bastard take?!' Bronze was losing his self-pity and fear of his new form at hearing someone took one of his friends.

{Konrad.}

Bronze's roar of fury was so loud, so filled with rage that it made everypony for several miles cringe, and his new power flared in a pulse so harsh it cracked every surface in the room, broke the bed, and all the equipment as he forced himself onto his new hooves. 'Find him!'

{Sir, that's-.}

'FIND HIM!' Bronze demanded, his deep blue eyes staring at the ceiling, his vision seeing not a ceiling, but Jeeves' face. Seeing as he would not be able to convince his master of otherwise, Jeeves did a mock sigh.

{Very well sir. As for your earlier unanswered question to your friends; you had managed so save about a few hundred thousand people before the Sisters were able to stop and stabilize you. I have moved another couple thousand since you ordered me to continue evacuations.}

“Bronze, what is it?!” At hearing Celestia's voice, Bronze blinked and looked down from the ceiling...and was shocked to see Celestia towering over him. He gawked up at her and then turned his head to see he was now eye-level with AJ and Zecora who had rushed back in with the royal sisters from his roar of fury and his pulse of power.

“W-what? How'd I get so short?!” AJ and Zecora both leered at him, and Bronze blushed as he fell back on his haunches. “N-no offense...I'm just so used to being huge.” Bronze looked himself over more intently, and was stricken with how...frail he seemed. His fantastic muscles gifted by his minotaur and then balrog body were gone. He was lithe, skinny, perhaps even graceful. He'd...never been so thin, ever. He raised a foreleg, looking at the noodle-like limb in sadness.

“You lost a lot of your mass before we could save you. You're lucky you didn't end up like I did when the Elements cleansed me. At least you're the size of an average stallion...if...lacking in muscle.” Luna commented with a little sadness at seeing her friend so despondent over his current situation.

“All those years of weight lifting...wasted....” Bronze lamented, sniffling, and then shuddering as he felt weak, and gasped as he almost fell over onto his side on the collapsed bed, only for Applejack to be sitting there, holding him up with her body. “AJ?”

“Hush now colt. Ya should get your rest. Ah'll be here while another room is made ready for ya.” AJ then leaned closer and kissed his cheek, making Bronze blush as his new wings flared out, getting the mares to all giggle at him.

“W-what's so funny?” Oh, he would know soon enough.

[(X)]

Bronze was so embarrassed when the princesses explained what a “wingboner” was to him. In front of AJ and Zecora no less. He was still embarrassed once they transferred him to a new room and was left alone. 'I got hard...in front of four mares....' He shrank in on himself in his new bed in his new hospital room. Also a suite. He was now an alicorn, and prince or no-DEFINITELY NO! He was a VIP. 'I'm just glad the princesses agreed to have some guards take care of the wolves harassing AJ's farm. I...can't really fight like this.'

Bronze rolled over and looked across the bland white on white room to look at himself in the body-width mirror, and sigh at the wimpy four-foot-nothing alicorn sadsack that was him now. 'Why? Why did this all have to happen? Earth is dead because of me...it may have been on a tilt towards destruction for forever, but I was the one who ended up bringing it about.'

He didn't blame Luna. He couldn't blame the cosmos for the nearly impossible random chance of the circumstances aligning for all of this. He certainly couldn't blame fate. He didn't believe in it. Even now; as his new knowledge tells him otherwise, he didn't believe in fate. Fate is a weakling's way out to explain why they couldn't do something. No. To Bronze, fate was a bitch you either had to put up with or smack. He'd put up with it enough and got tired of it, so he tried smacking it, and it smacked back. He narrowed his eyes at his pitiful reflection, and growled to himself. 'I'm going to bitch-slap fate again, this time I have a hoof to do it with.'

Bronze opened his mouth, glad to see he had fangs and other canine teeth along with his flat molars. 'At least I'm still an omnivore. Thank you sis...uh...Luna...sis...ugh...this is so weird. I already have four sisters.' He looked down at his hooves again, his despair being replaced with resolve. “First order of business; get used to new body. Second; get buff again. Third; actually learn how to use magic. Finding and maybe saving Konrad is on that list too, but I'll see what I can do when or if I can. Kon's a strong dude. I'm sure he's fine.”

Bronze perked and his new ears swiveled and twitched at registering a knock at his new room's door. “Sir Bronze, some more visitors.”

“Let them in, please.” Bronze responded, and suddenly the door burst open and a pink mass of fluffy mare pounced on him in a blur.

“Oh~! You're so cute like this! Much better than even that hunky minotaur body you had.” Pinkie rambled, nuzzling his neck and sniffing his new mane, making him quite flustered. “You smell like vanilla instead of chocolate now.”

He shuddered and gasped at feeling the shapely and soft-yet-firm mare pressing against him in her hugging and nuzzling. 'Must...not...get...wingboner!' He found relief in Pinkie being enveloped in a purple aura and being pulled off of him. 'Oh thank gog. Damn it stupid sexy Pinkie! Stop teasing me!'

“Pinkie, I know you're excited that Bronze is okay, but he's really weak right now.” Twilight explained factually and with clear concern as she, Rarity, Dash and Shy all filed in to sit around his bed, Spike came in last and closed the door, and Bronze made the effort to try and get up, only for Shy to gently press him down as she hovered over him.

“Please, don't get up. You need to build your strength.” Fluttershy gently enforced before she landed on the bed behind him, petting his head to help him relax.

“Hey girls...sorry if I scared you.” Bronze apologized, and they all scoffed at him.

“YOU'RE sorry? WE should be the ones who are sorry. We could do nothing as you...literally fell apart.” Rarity said with a quiver in her voice, and Spike dutifully pat her shoulder with a similarly haunted look in his eyes to let her know he knew how she felt.

“Yeah, but what you were doing. It was worth it dude. You saved those folks right?” Dash emphasized what Luna had told them about Bronze literally destroying himself to try and save as many lives as he could back on his world.

“Y-yeah...you're right. Even if I knew this would happen...I'd still do it.” Bronze thought, his Loyal pal bringing him right out of his funk. 'Heh...Dash...so cool.' “But I could only save at least 100,000 in a world of billions...I...I only hope I saved enough to preserve our history. The knowledge of our mistakes, so that this world never makes them....” Bronze's sudden downturn into sadness made Pinkie bolt to his face, and force him to smile with her hooves.

“Hey~! No frowny faces! You're okay, we're here, and everyone you saved is going to have a new home here. My Pinkie Sense told me so.” Pinkie assured, getting Twilight to blink in confusion, and for Rarity to whisper into her ear to not even worry about it.

“I...thank you Pinks.” For some reason, Pinkie blushed when he called her that. “Pinks?”

“I...I...um....” Pinkie was oddly flustered, and her mane deflated but she didn't lose her pigment. “Um...you're welcome....” The surprisingly long-maned mare let go of his face, and hid behind her curtain of a mane adorably, getting everypony to look at her in confusion save Dash, who grinned mischievously, and Fluttershy who smiled at her in understanding.

“Well I hope so too Bronze.” Twilight injected in order to continue the conversation, but on a brighter note. “I still want to learn as much as I can about your world. Even if it's gone now, it must have been an amazing place. I just hope that amazing place called the 'internet' is still working.”

“Uh....” 'How do I break it to her that it's more than likely gone? Every single country would have been aiming nukes for every other country's information hubs and servers.'

{Good news sir. A backup hub for the US is still online deep underground. It is massive enough that it has copied most of the content of the whole internet onto itself before the holocaust. Including all of the frivolous content such as literary and video entertainment.}

'That's great!' “Jeeves has just informed me that there is still a huge information repository available, and considering how my phone still connects here, then getting some things brought over should still be viable...right Jeeves?”

{Correct sir.}

His friends all looked at him oddly, and Fluttershy actually started inspecting his head for injuries before he stopped her. “I'm able to telepathically converse with Jeeves now. He is still acting as my proxy for my magic in the matter that I do not yet know how to control it myself.” Twilight nodded in understanding as the others all looked confused. “What has you so perplexed?”

“Why're ya talking egghead? Speak Equish.” Dash demanded in irritation. He was suddenly starting to sound like Twilight.

Bronze blinked in confusion. “I do not understand. I am speaking English, which is my world's equivalent to Equish. My diction should be perfectly comprehensible as-.”

“ARGH! MY BRAIN! Stop using fancy words!” Dash demanded. She thought Bronze was a musclehead, not an egghead, so this was frustrating.

“What Rainbow is saying is that you're speaking in an unusually educated way, considering how blunt and straightforward you've been since we've known you; it's a little strange.” Twilight informed, getting Bronze to groan.

“Oh this is fantastic. What else is going to change? I know all these words, but to use them so effusively in conversation is unlike me.” Bronze growled as he noticed a potently advanced word in that sentence. “I mean; I know what they mean, but I usually just speak my mind with less eloquence, damn it!” Bronze's sudden curse made his friends all cringe. “Spike...do I sound like a snob?”

“Yeah, kinda. Like those stuck-ups in Canterlot.” Spike's blunt answer made Bronze groan and bury his face into his blankets. “Sorry dude.”

“No, I thank you for your blunt observation Spike. Ugh...I...thanks for seeing me girls, this means so much to me, you too Spike, but I need to rest and wrap my head around all of this.” Bronze stated, informing them of his desire to be left alone, but was surprised when he felt himself picked up from the bed, and surrounded by them in a group hug. Even Dash and Spike were in on it. “W-what...what are you doing?”

“We're here for ya dude. Don't forget that you're not alone.” Dash said from her spot, and the others all spoke in the affirmative. Bronze blushed lightly at being in such close contact with so many mares, considering he was also coming to terms with his changing attractions, but he smiled, spread his wings, and used them to hug back as much as he could.

“I love you all so much. I...I've never felt so....” Bronze's breath hitched as he began to cry again. This time in happiness. “So this is the Power of Friendship? The Love of those who care, simply because they can?” Bronze nuzzled his friends the best he could in the tangle of bodies, them so happy to see him cheering up. “My Friends...I'm not alone anymore....” Bronze was never happier than in that moment, and he could only hope that could change in the future. Bronze's words made Twilight gasp and her eyes to sparkle, and she among them, felt incredibly contemplative of the implications.

'The meaning of Friendship....' Twilight thought, looking around her at her friends, how they were all happy just to be there for each other, just to be together. She felt something amazing welling up inside her, and shed a quiet tear herself as she nuzzled her friends next to her. 'I'll have to study it even closer. Such an amazing thing. Princess...I will devote myself to this even more than I intended. Such a thing is worth several lifetimes of study.'

Author's Note

And there you have it folks. I would like to state that this was an attempt at a self-insert, and it failed horribly. This story isn't ending though, not by a long shot, and you can tell why.

I've planned Doorways and Hello, Stranger.... to be connected since Hello, Stranger.... was conceived. You see here that it was Anthon that was supposed to become a Merchant and sent to that anthro world of Equus, since I have a naturally creative and random personality (as if my style says anything less) but he instead fled because he felt something off about the Merchant. As a result; it was Konrad who became Avarice in his place. Vaga wanted Anthon because he was a suitable replacement, but Konrad was a good runner-up since he's more...lewd, and in line with Vaga's original origin as a God of Fertility, so, it all worked out.

Only Bronze isn't about to just leave Konrad be, he'll find a way to contact him at some point.

LIFT! DO YOU EVEN?!

It took a few weeks of physical therapy for Bronze to be cleared to leave the hospital, as not only was he completely new to being quadrupedal, but he was extremely weak, his body barely having enough muscle to support him. He was prescribed a potent multivitamin and told to eat as much protein as he felt necessary. Even though he was a pony now, he was more of a thestral than a normal alicorn. That indicated his focus on Luna as his body's template brought up the thestrals, thus making his wings and digestive system like theirs. His eyes were still slitted too, but their deep blue were the only thing that remained of his original body as Anthon, the human. Windows to the Soul indeed.

He'd gotten constant visits from his parents in that time, both absolutely distraught with what happened to him and Earth. His dad was more focused on helping him with his therapy, since he'd gone through it enough times on Earth that he knew it was a frustrating process. His mom though, was more focused on making sure he was okay, and needling Jeeves for the whereabouts of their family members.

After three weeks of monotonous rest, remedial exercise, and immensely huge vitamin dosages, Bronze walked out of the hospital with Princess Luna on a sunny late-summer afternoon in July. He'd had his 21st birthday on the sixth, but when Pinkie found out she practically forced the hospital to let her give him a party in his suite. “Thanks for signing me out sis...I mean-.”

“Please Bronze. I am elated to hear you regard me as such.” Luna beamed, nuzzling her essentially genetic and adopted little brother atop his grown-out shaggy white mane, making him blush at being mothered by his new big sister, as if all his other big sisters didn't do that enough when he was bigger than them all....

“Luna~ not in public....” Bronze whined as a couple of bystanders nearby smiled and clearly began talking about the princess and the new “prince”, which he denied and refused to accept, but had the title thrust upon him for having all three main tribe traits and then some. Besides not wanting the responsibility the title held, he had no practice or training in a leadership position. He was always the...wait.... 'Now that I think about it...I was the lynchpin in all my groups of friends on Earth wasn't I?' It was a sad thought, and the realization that yes; his friends all went separate ways whenever he moved on ahead of them, always being the eldest at that....

“I shall baby my new baby brother whenever I desire. Now you be careful Bronze. Your parents are out of town at the moment helping look for the rest of your family in the identified refugees. As such, you'll be staying with Twilight Sparkle in case your home is...no longer available.” Luna gently pried, and Bronze smiled gently at his loving older sister. He felt so close to her already what with the regular visits she made to him in her busy schedule. Almost as close as his big sis Sherry....

“Well, if it's like that; I demand restitution every time I have to visit Canterlot overnight.” Bronze said as he began carefully trotting along towards town, Luna following as she didn't have any royal duties today or tonight, and planned to sleep in when she got back to Canterlot. She cleared up her schedule when she heard he was being released, but his parents were not in town to sign, and she was essentially his kin now.

“What sort of restitution?” Luna demanded, only to jerk still at her recently gained sibling having stopped at her right side, lean into her, and nuzzle her neck, and she instinctively hugged him with her right wing.

“Snuggles of course. Like when we first became friends.” Bronze said cheekily and Luna smirked at him, mirroring his own expression.

“I shall gladly submit to sibling snuggles.” Luna said, leaning down to nuzzle him back, the two closed their eyes, just content to be together in such a profound sense of kinship. Until Luna yawned. “Oh...oh my. I must return home for rest little brother. You will be alright on your own?”

“Sis, I just got out of the hospital with a clean bill of health. I'm weak, not helpless. I think I can make the trip to the library on my own just fine.” Bronze lifted his head higher and kissed her on the cheek. “Love ya sis.”

“Love you too little brother.” Luna kissed his brow, and then charged her cerulean magic before vanishing in a teleport.

“Can't wait until I can do that...actually, I don't need to.” Bronze focused on the sensation, it became familiar after a month of Jeeves teaching him via telepathy when he wasn't in physical therapy sessions. His horn flashed dark blue for just an instant, and without preamble or any indication of it never having been there; was his mahogany front door. He knocked three times, and after a few moments, Jeeves opened the door into the familiar space of his home for the first time in weeks.

“Welcome home sir. Finally on your hooves?” Jeeves asked more out of courtesy than as an actual question as he gestured for his master to enter.

“It won't change me, will it? I...I don't want any false hope....” Bronze said as he hesitated at the door's frame, not wanting to turn back into a human. He might be unable to leave if he could have that back.

“Unfortunately no sir. This space is in the Void, where all is equal and nothing is unique. This space is nothing special, just carried over from your old home. Please enter, you have some onlookers and I do not like the wandering eyes of riffraff.” Jeeves insisted, and Bronze entered without seeing who was looking at his Doorway.

He entered and was both disturbed, yet comforted that he did not change in any way. But the feeling of being so small in comparison to a home originally designed for bipeds an average height of five feet or higher was also daunting, and depressing. “I can...shrink it down, can't I?”

“Not as you are sir. You're far too weak for such advanced spacial manipulation.” Jeeves reported, getting Bronze to sigh. His Aspect, what his new sisters described as the governing attribute of an alicorn or other god-like being, was “Space”. Specifically, any and all things that can govern a physical or even meta-physical presence. Extremely powerful, but also extremely difficult to harness. The only reason he was subconsciously doing so was the leylines of two worlds constantly feeding him, both worlds WANTING him to ascend. The idea that planets have wills was also depressing, considering his world Terra....

“Then make a note to try and downsize the furniture at least Jeeves. I don't want any pony visitors feeling like I do right now.” Bronze moved around the house, trying to get a feel for it. Why hadn't his parents complained about the size? Then again, finding the rest of their family was more important, and likely occupied every thought his parents had aside from his own well-being. They weren't perfect, but they were still the heads of the family rather than his big bro Bobby and his wife Renee for a reason. Besides, his brother and sis-in-law had two energetic sons to keep up with all the time. Bronze hoped they were okay....

He had to go. This place...it was painful. “Jeeves...you have my express permission to shape this place how you want. I...I don't want it to be so...familiar.” Bronze managed to admit, and moved to the front door and waited for Jeeves to open it. The knob was too high...he couldn't move the way needed in his current condition to reach it, and his telekinesis was still too weak to move more than mundane and light things, and the knob on the mahogany door was firm, and stuck on the catch. His magic couldn't manage such a firm grip yet.

“Very well sir. I would like to report that I have taken the liberty of connecting the garage door to the Svalbard Global Seed Vault on Terra. It has survived the holocaust entirely due to none of the fools who launched their nukes aiming for it. At least they had that much sense.” Jeeves' report there was actually a spirit-raiser. That meant the vast majority of Earth/Terra's plants could be replanted on Equus. He'll have to tell Twilight, but first....

The door opened in front of the farmhouse of Sweet Apple Acres. He had a marefriend to surprise, he hadn't told anypony he was getting out today, and the idea of planting some of his world's plants might excite the mare. He stepped through, and when the door shut, it was gone. Bronze fluttered his bat wings, and took a deep steadying breath. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't excited. He hadn't gotten any more than stories from the others about how AJ had been so bogged-down with her work, she'd even worked herself senseless by trying to buck down all the apples in her orchards during something called Applebuck Season.

Bronze trotted slowly up to the door and was about to knock when the door opened to an unexpected sight, making both him and the pony in the door frame to blink. “Zecora? Why are you here?”

“I could ask you the same, we had thought that you were still lame.” Zecora responded, before smiling and leaning forward to nuzzle his cheek, he was a bit surprised, but smiled and nuzzled back. “It is good to see you well, we were worried you'd be crippled and unwell.”

“I was checked out today. I'm still weak, but I can move around now. I have plans to work out to get back at least some of my strength. Being so weak is...disheartening.” Bronze admitted, and Zecora nodded sagely in understanding.

“This I know, for I too was once weak down below.” Zecora admitted, gesturing to her hind legs. “My parents feared a lame mare I was, not even the witchdoctor could find the cause. But with determination and will, I became stronger than any zebra mare still.” Zecora bucked a leg back, and Bronze was in awe. That was fast, and he could practically feel the power in that kick from in front of her.

“Well, that is amazing to know and see, but still you have not answered me.” Bronze rhymed, getting a smile from his striped friend.

“Ever since that horrible day, a friend I have found in fair AJ.” Zecora said, with perhaps a bit much fondness to be normal. “When she saw you so weak, so helpless in your bed, did I nuzzle her cheek, and pat her head. I only offered comfort and friendship, but I have found perhaps....” Zecora blushed, a cheeky grin on her muzzle making Bronze's ears perk, cheeks flush, and his mouth to open slightly.

“W-wow...but she seemed so scared of you when I first mentioned you to her.” Bronze wasn't against the idea of homosexuality, but this was a surprise. He'd never thought Applejack's barn door swung that way...or both ways considering she'd proclaimed she wanted a relationship the day of his...incident.

“Indeed she was nervous, and bared her nerves to me as a service. She would not let her fears control her, not with how good the things I've heard you said of me were.” Zecora was quite pleased at that, and Bronze was about to comment when he was stunned silent. Lightning shot through him again from the zebra mare kissing him. His wings fwoomped out, and after several seconds, she pulled back, grinning in victory and her tail swishing. “Mm...Applejack was right. Kissing you is quite a joy.” Zecora broke her rhyming, feeling the moment not being right.

Bronze's face up to his ears turned red through his black coat and skin, and he shuddered before his hind legs gave out, and he plopped onto his flanks. “W-wow...where did that come from?”

“'Bout the same place it did for me Ah reckon.” AJ's voice sounded behind him, and Bronze gasped as Applejack suddenly hugged him from behind, nuzzling his cheek as she pressed against him, his forelegs struggling to keep upright. “Ah missed you so much. Ah'm sorry Ah haven't been able to visit as much as Ah'd have liked.”

“A-AJ, legs, weak, heavy muscles!” AJ immediately jumped off of him, and he panted as the burning in his legs decreased. “Ow~! Ow...I'm still very weak AJ. D-don't do that...yet.” Bronze added, admitting he very much enjoyed the contact. The feeling of her, like this, it was...amazing. He couldn't see mares as just mares now, his new body and his constant exposure to a new race entirely was making him find ponies attractive. He already liked AJ and Zecora for their personalities, but now...they were bombshells to him. Their elegant yet rippling muscles were just so enticing. He preferred pudgy women back on Terra honestly, but that was because so few women could make muscles work for them. AJ and Zecora definitely did.

“Ah'm so sorry sugarcube. Here, come on inside, it's about dinner time.” Applejack offered as she pointedly poked one of Bronze's still open wings, and he laughed weakly as he closed them to his body. “Don't be ashamed of it Bronze. You're just a stallion, it's natural.”

“And we aren't natural?” Zecora teased her marefriend, who blushed and laughed weakly. “Come my beau, to the dinner table we go.” Zecora quickly turned and trotted inside, the two ponies looking at each other, smiling, and entering as AJ closed the door.

[(X)]

The sun peeked in through the curtains of the window, shining right in Bronze's face. “Mmph...nurse...why'd you open my curtains?” Bronze asked tiredly, before he moved and froze. 'Hey...wait...this is a familiar sensation.' Bronze knew what sleeping in a bed with another living being was like thanks to his elder sisters snuggling for naps when they first met as friends. He was spooning somepony, and somepony was spooning him from behind. The smell of apples, and sweat told him who he was hugging before he opened his eyes to confirm it with orange fur and a blond mane. 'Uh oh...what happened last night? My head hurts...did we drink?'

“Oh~...mah head....” Applejack's groaning voice greeted his ears, and she moaned as he felt her forelegs move up, likely to put her hooves over her eyes. “Darn sun...must've gone a might hard on the cider if Ah'm wakin' up this late....”

“Well, that confirms my suspicions then.” Bronze tiredly commented, and he felt AJ seize up. “Please, tell me you remember last night. I don't know if we...y'know....”

“Do not worry my two bedfellows, for there was nothing done to earn Big Mac's gallows.” Zecora's voice from behind him also confirmed who Bronze figured was his other sleeping partner, and he gasped when she hugged him tighter, and craned her neck to nibble an ear, making him pant and squirm.

“Z-Zecora~....” 'Oh my GOG that feels amazing!' Bronze hugged AJ tighter, and she started squirming away and managed to get out of his hooves as Bronze grit his teeth and grunted as Zecora moved onto sucking his ear rather than just nibbling.

“Zecora! Stop agitating the poor fella! He ain't got the stamina for that kind of foolin' around.” Applejack reprimanded, getting the zebra to release his left ear from her cruel ministrations.

'What she said! Please my sexy mistress, spare this weak stallion!' Bronze thought, his heart pounding in his ears. The air met his wet, throbbing, tufted black ear in a delightfully cool comparison to the heat of the mare's saliva, and he shivered. 'That was just foreplay...oh gog, ponies have such amazingly sensitive ears.'

“Such a shame, I had hoped such things would increase his health rather than maim.” Zecora stated with a tone of disappointment. He felt quite pleased that she wanted him though, but, it would have to wait. He had absolutely no endurance for such a thing right now. Plus he's a virgin, both from his life before and here. He kinda wanted to read that Pony Sutra the library had on-hoof so he wasn't completely clueless how to please a mare when the deed came about.

“Well, that might be true....” AJ said in consideration, and Bronze tensed in worry. “But...it'd be rushin' things too fast Ah feel. Bronze ain't that kinda pony.”

“Thank you Applejack. That is true, but I appreciate the sentiment, and the compliment Zecora. I do want that, but only after I've regained my strength, and have read up on...such activities with ponies. I'm afraid any of my knowledge from Terra is outdated....”

“I understand dear, but my dissatisfaction you shouldn't fear. I have had more than enough pleasure with AJ, that I know how to sate my appetites another way.” Zecora said huskily from behind him, getting him to blush as Applejack flushed lightly with a sheepish smile.

“So, uh...don't rush yourself none Bronze. We can wait. It'd be unfair to expect you to recover so fast. Well, it's a new day, so up 'n at em.” Applejack said and reached over the bed to Bronze to help him up, which he appreciated.

“Well now, isn't this a fine sight.” They all froze, and looked to the door to see Big Macintosh standing in the door frame, just as neutral and calm as ever, even if he didn't have a sprig or leaf of something in his jaw yet. “Good to know my sis's coltfriend is so upstanding. Ah've already made breakfast and gotten the morning chores going sis. Just need you to take the cart to market.”

“Thanks Big Mac. Kinda lost myself last night celebrating Bronze finally getting out of the hospital.” AJ admitted in a bit of a fluster, and Mac simply nodded.

“Eeyup. Ya'll have a good day now you two. You're welcome back whenever you feel like visiting.” Mac informed. Zecora was already a regular since she and AJ started seeing each other, but he extended the same to Bronze just as easily. Mac then left as quietly as he must've arrived to go unnoticed before. No stallion that big had the right to move so quietly....

“Well...that wasn't awkward at all.”

[(X)]

“Ya sure you're alright?” AJ asked for like, the twentieth time since they left the farm, Bronze walking alongside his buff yet lean marefriend as she pulled her apple cart to the market.

“For the last time AJ, yes, I'm fine. Just...getting tired.” Bronze admitted to her once they'd finally reached Stirrup Street, also known as the market square of the town just off the town square proper. His legs burned, his lungs ached, and a visible sweat was pouring from his every pore under his coat, making his fur mat and glisten, drawing concerned gazes from anypony who noticed him. 'I hate this...I hate this so much. It feels like being human again, only I'm weak, not overweight and with so many health problems.'

“Ya could've stayed at my house Bronze. My family wouldn't have pushed ya out if you were still so weak.” Applejack offered, only for Bronze to shake his head, wobbling as he became dizzy, and AJ almost had to catch him until he caught himself, and sat on the ground.

“N-no...I have to do this AJ. I have to get stronger if I'm going to get healthy. Consider it part of my physical therapy.” Bronze grinned weakly, not convincing his concerned marefriend, who looked down the street a little.

“My cart's spot is just over there. Ah'm gonna get set up, then come help ya over to my stall. Ah can't just leave you be in your condition.” AJ leaned over and nuzzled him comfortingly before briskly trotting her cart over to her allocated spot on the street, and Bronze wilted a bit in his lonely spot in the middle of the street, the hoof traffic giving him plenty of respectful space to get some air, most of them looking like they wanted to ask if they could help, but feeling he didn't want it.

'This is horrible...I've never been so helpless before. Is this what it's like? Being...weak? Defenseless? It's...terrifying.' Bronze shuddered, feeling afraid, but then, his mark shined a bit, his nose ring too, and he took a steadying breath. A visible small dark blue aura of pure power seemed to emanate from him, and he was still afraid...but felt he could deal with it. 'Listen to yourself colt, what kind of thoughts are those? You're Bronze Brave! The man-stallion, who punched Nightmare Moon in the face! Who jumped off a cliff! You can face this.'

Bronze took a cleansing breath, and sat as upright as he could manage. 'I just wish Zecora accepted our offer to come into town. Can't believe the rest of town is still skittish around her. It would've been nice to have someone to talk to while I'm-.' Bronze was interrupted by the feeling of somepony's chest meeting the back of his head. Which, by retrospect, meant that said pony was quite tall. Bronze tilted his head back enough to look around his horn, and saw the most chiseled, and masculine pony face he'd ever seen. 'Good gog...his CHIN has muscles!'

“Um...can I help you?” Bronze asked calmly, not letting his instinctive fear of the massive stallion show.

“YEAH~!” Only to get blasted by a loud emphatic statement, nearly bowling the weakened alicorn over, and the massive stallion circled around, revealing he was EFFING RIPPED! His whole body, from hock to muzzle was so heavily muscled, it seemed in reality he shouldn't even be able to move like a normal pony, yet he did. His most noticeable feature otherwise were his extremely petite, and almost impossible to see wings. This guy was a pegasus who made earth ponies look like limp noodles. He contrasted almost completely with bronze, with his white coat, dirty blond hair, and piercing red eyes. “I need a spotter, and YOU need some muscles!”

“Uh, as much as I want to, I'm still too weak to even move normally. I don't think I'd be able to safely-.”

“NONSENSE!” The loud pegasus's refusal was incredibly familiar to the former weight-lifter, as he suddenly found himself in a headlock. “I too was once so scrawny, but now I am HUGE! I will help you tiny unicorn!”

“Uh, I'm not-AH!” Before Bronze could point out his admittedly hard-to-see wings that blended into his sides from their smooth texture, he was swiftly dragged away by the somehow-flying pegasus. “Applejack~!” Despite the spectacle, it wasn't anything unusual, and nopony bothered to really note who Bulk Biceps had roped into helping him work out today.

Until Applejack couldn't find him, and began frantically asking where Prince Bronze Brave had gone. Sparking a town-wide panic.

[(X)]

“YEAH~! Pump it!” Bulk shouted in encouragement as Bronze panted and wheezed as he did a pushup using all his legs with Bulk leaning on him slightly. Bulk's personal training area was on the edge of the Whitetail Woods, which was an expansive wooded forest spanning from here to the west coast of Equestria for hundreds of miles, meaning they were well-and-far out of town. “That's the way! With my training regimen and my protein drinks, you'll be bulking up in no time!”

“I-I appreciate what you're doing Bulk! But I don't think trying to bulk up so early in my recovery is-!” Bronze was interrupted by Bulk applying a little more pressure by lessening the “featherweight” effect of his pegasus wings. “Ah~!”

“You can do it little stallion! I believe in you! PUMP UNTIL YOU CAN BREAK THE EARTH!” Bulk shouted, and Bronze, knowing his type, grunted and grit his teeth as he roared and managed one more pushup in a set of twenty, and Bulk got off of him, leaving him pouring sweat, panting, and his wings drooping. Bulk didn't really care when he found out he'd dragged off a prince for training. “There you are! Feel the burn!”

“Y-yeah, I'm feeling it.” 'Oh gog, I forgot how harsh weight training was! And he's just putting me through warm ups!' “L-listen, Bulk, I just got out of the hospital yesterday! I'm really not-ach!” Bronze was silenced by a HUGE wooden mug full of what tasted like chocolate protein shake being shoved into his mouth, and rather than be rude and drop it, he bit onto the rim, and rolled his eyes as he tilted his head back and gulped down the whole thing, distending his stomach a little and making him cringe. When he finished, he spat it out, gasping for air. “A-as I was saying...I just got out of physical therapy yesterday, and I can barely move around. Working out like this-.”

“Is exactly what you need! I'll keep it light, but you need to bulk up your leg muscles so you can get in some cardio! You take a breather while I get in some sets of fifty!” Bulk affirmed, and then moved to his bench to bench press what seemed like a couple hundred pounds with ease. “Yeah~! Feel it Bulk!”

Bronze just sat there and rested, feeling both exasperated, and amused. 'Heh...haven't had to deal with a genuine musclehead for years. Ow...body hurting. I won't be able to move for a whole day after this. Gotta let my muscles heal. “Bulk, I hope you know that to get stronger, the muscles need to-.”

“Heal! Yeah~! You're done for today, but I'm going to bring you here every other day to get you to bulk up! No stallion should be so scrawny!” Bulk shouted, grinning at Bronze as he worked up a light sweat, and Bronze blinked before grinning back. “Do you even lift bro?”

“Lift? Do I even?” Bronze asked cheekily, and chuckled. “Yeah...I used to. I used to be that minotaur around town, but...yeah...I want to be ripped again, but I don't want to overdo it.”

“Wish I could've met ya while you were still all ripped! You were so busy all the time though.” Bulk admitted, finishing his set of fifty and setting the couple-hundred-pound Olympic bar on the bench rack. “I'll be glad to help you get fit. Consider me your personal trainer until you feel comfortable with yourself.”

“Thanks Bulk. I was going to ask the girls to help me out, but I'm more familiar with this sort of-.”

“BRONZE!” Hearing all his friend's voices caused the tired and sweaty stallion to turn his ears and then his head, only to be tackled by his marefriend into a hug. “Ah was so worried! Ya jus' up 'n vanished on me! Yer still too weak to be out alone!”

Bronze bought it. That tackle was the clincher and he nearly blacked out from exhaustion. He couldn't hear much, being so tired and feverish from such an intense workout considering his condition, but in the end, he hoped everything turned out okay. Bulk was a great guy...a lot like his coach in high school.... 'Oh...hey~ sis! I'm napping too~! Have I got a story for you.'

Author's Note

I lift. I'm not a big-time lifter, but I can lift my own body weight, which is over 300 pounds. If I ever got so weak, I'd hit the dumbbells and barbells asap.

Also wanted something silly going, like the farm and forest mares hooking up. Is so silly to me XD

What? WHAT?! Cool....

When Bronze woke up, it had been to a group of worried friends and marefriend who all hovered around him and behaved like mother hens. Seriously. You'd think he was a basket of eggs the way they treated him. He had to explain that Bulk was genuinely helping him, and that he was going to see him every other day for exercise until he either felt better or didn't want to get any more buff. Because awesome or not; Bronze didn't want to get as buff as Bulk, his friends and especially AJ agreed as much. Sure Bulk was attractive to them, but they also felt it was just excessive to get that ripped.

So after a day of rest, Bronze went to see Bulk to get in more leg exercises and protein shakes. It was after this session that Bulk surprised and impressed him with his massage skills, since he works at Aloe and Lotus' day spa as a masseur. It would speed his recovery as well as improve his health overall. For a stallion with such big muscles, his oddly tiny hooves were incredibly gentle when a firmer touch wasn't necessary. So thanks to that, he felt he could move around a bit more today and actually do something with his friends and/or marefriends.

But that wasn't the end of today's training apparently.

“Dash, for the last time! I'm MORTALLY TERRIFIED OF HEIGHTS!” Bronze screamed with his eyes closed, holding on to the cloud that Rainbow had abducted him to with all four legs, and wings. The fact he wasn't outright having a paralyzing panic attack said great things of his new-found courage. He wasn't scared so much of the heights alone now, he was scared of falling off his unusual perch.

“Dude, you have wings, you have, like, NO excuse to be scared of heights.” Dash shot back at him as she hovered in front of him. “You ARE going to learn how to use those wings of yours. It's bad enough you're as weak as a limp noodle, but your wings seem to have most of their muscle intact.” Dash might be a jock, but she's a jock who knew how bodies worked.

“The physical therapist focused on them a lot. It was way easier to get them up to shape than the rest of me since I didn't have to support my own weight to work them out.” Bronze admitted, and, remembering something he rationalized to himself long ago about his fear, he crushed it down and figured Dash was right. He had wings now. He could NOT die from this height unless it was truly his own fault. He could live with that. “Okay...okay...I can do this....”

“Yeah! There we go, just get comfortable.” Dash cheered as she watched her...only guy friend? Wow, she had to go clubbing.... She watched as Bronze managed to sit up, take deep breaths, and look over the cloud to the ground. “So...you okay?”

“I'm...not scared....” Bronze said in amazement, before his wings flared as he began beaming at her. “I'm not scared! Heights were my greatest fear for as long as I could remember, but now, I don't even care!” 'It's so liberating! Wow! To not be afraid...it's amazing. If only I could do the same with large crowds next.'

“Okay, good. Now, the first lesson is-WAIT!” Dash shouted too late as the excited Bronze jumped off the cloud, and she bolted under him as he began a shaky glide down. “Y-you're doing good! Keep your wing's like that and-AH!” Dash was thankfully under him with a sudden downdraft hit Bronze, and they fell about twenty or so feet to the ground in a tumble with her ending up on top of him, straddling him. “Uh...look out for downdrafts?”

“...Why didn't that fall hurt like it should've?” Bronze asked from his position under her and on his back, as sure, he felt sore, but he was expecting broken bones...and he wanted to try free-falling again! That was exhilarating!

“Pegasi and I guess alicorns have magic that makes us more impact resistant. It's so we don't always die from a bad landing. I don't know why, ask an egghead.” Dash replied, and just realized she hadn't gotten off of him. “Oh, sorry, here.” Dash stood up and moved aside to help him up as he was still a little shaky with his own legs. “Now, instead of gliding being your first exercise, it looks like I'll have to get you started on hovering-.”

“Hey Rainbow Dash, Bronze Brave!” Pinkie's voice shouted from right next to them, and the two winged ponies gasped and jumped away, hooves to their chests. “*GASP* Yourselves! But that's not why I'm here sillies, he, he.” The bouncy pink party pony giggled to herself as the two both calmed down and leered at her.

“What is it Pinkie Pie? I'm trying to teach Bronze how to fly so he's not a cripple and can hang out with us.” Dash said irritably, getting Bronze to growl.

“I'm not crippled! Just...really weak.” Bronze defended weakly, getting a pat on the back from his prismatic friend's wing.

“Well~ I have plans for us to hang out, and it won't be too hard on Bronze either. Want to hear it?” Pinkie egged them on, getting them both to raise an eyebrow and look at each other.

“We're listening....”

[(X)]

Bronze was flying! Actually flying! Well, he was hovering technically. Barely several feet off the ground actually. In fact, he was irritably moving around a cloud at Pinkie's instruction, while Dash kept an eye on him to tell him if he was flapping right or not. They were both being very, VERY nitpicky! “GIRLS! I only have so much patience!” Bronze shouted after for the hundredth time to move the cloud the 'itty bitty little tiny incomprehensible smidge to the left'.

“Right there’s fine! Get ready!” Pinkie dove into the nearby bush in front of the town hall, and Bronze looked at Dash in confusion, and she pantomimed bucking while flying and pointed at the cloud with a hoof. He didn’t really get it, but he turned around, and bucked the cloud the way Dash showed him to earlier, and he almost jolted at the flash and sound of thunder that occurred.

“BWAH~! …*hic*!” Pinkie and Dash started laughing, and Bronze looked around the cloud to see Spike hiccupping on the steps.

“That’s what this was about? Pranking somepony? Why didn’t you just say so and save me the time and I could’ve practiced flying instead.” Bronze was raised by parents with Southern values, and that included being polite to everyone you met unless they spurned your custom.

“Aw, don’t-*hic*-be like that Bronze! It’s all in-*hic*-good fun! You got me *hic* good!” Spike’s such a sport, but still, inconveniencing someone for your own amusement wasn’t-.

“Yeah! Don’t be such a downer dude!” Dash chastised playfully as she swiftly flew up and pat his back, getting him to cross his forelegs and huff.

“I was raised to be-.”

“A stick-in-the-mud?” Pinkie asked challengingly down below, grinning and leering up at him as he sneered down at her. ‘Got him~!’

“I know how to have fun!” Bronze defended, and looked between them before blushing. “I’m just not-.”

“Outgoing?” Dash challenged, and he growled at her as she got in his face. “C’mon. Be a stallion and buck-up colt! Come on, Pinkie’s cool, we’ll show you how to really let loose.” She got in closer, and he backed awa, only to get tugged to the ground with a yelp by his long shaggy silver tail by Pinkie.

“We’ll be three peas in a pod!” Pinkie pressed against his side, getting him to blush as Dash landed on the other side, and sandwiched him, getting his black fur to turn red up to his ears.

“Three heroes out to save the day from boredom!” She put a foreleg around his neck, the other hoof pointing outward as if to gesture to all the fun they could have.

“FINE! Just get off me! I have marefriends already!” Bronze shouted as he struggled to try and get from between them. Note, the word was try. He wasn’t nearly strong enough to get out from between an athletic pegasus or a strong and bouncy earth pony.

“You didn’t say please~!” They both teased, and bro-hoofed, getting him to sigh in defeat.

‘Damn mares...they control my life….’

[(X)]

Bronze was breathless. No, seriously, he had no air in his lungs and was trying to recover after that pranking spree the two mares had dragged him on led him to getting in more cardio than he was comfortable with considering his current physical condition. But...they were right, it was fun. And harmless. Everypony was such a good sport about their pranks he felt almost none of the guilt such things would’ve normally caused him.

“See? Told ya it would be awesome.” Dash bragged as she sat on her personal recliner in her cloud home. She’d dragged him up here when he was too tired to either summon his Doorway or make it to Twilight’s. Actually, now that he thought about it, Bronze realized he hadn’t stayed a single night at the library even though it was his designated residence as of currently.

“I didn’t exactly have a choice.” I playfully sniped back from my spot on her couch, too tired to really move myself.

“Ya could’ve asserted yourself more. Not our fault you’re such a doormat when it comes to pleasing others.” Dash shot back. Touche. He was raised to give everyone else first pick. However, any more conversation was interrupted by a knock on her door. How that worked, Bronze wasn’t going to bother questioning.

However, when Dash went and answered it, he wasn’t expecting an actual, completely genuine GIRLY SQUEAL to come from her as she pounced on whoever was at the door. “GILDA! Ohmigosh! Why didn’t you mention you were coming by?!”

“Heh, and miss you totally squeal like a filly? Yeah right.” A scratchy and deeper voice than Dash’s higher-pitched crack answered and Dash rushed in, past him, and upstairs for something as a griffin like what his mom turned into upon crossing over came in, only instead of being ridiculously petite and shapely, she was slightly bigger than the average pony, and had a strong build like his dad instead. She blinked when she saw him, and blushed a bit. “Oh! Um...sorry if I’m interrupting something.”

“What? Oh, no! No-no-no, of course not! Me and Dash?! Pfft, please. I hate jocks. I like muscleheads, but I hate jocks. I hate sports too. She dragged me up here because she and our friend Pinkie tired me out from pranking the town today.” Bronze sat up with a grunt of immense effort, and Gilda blinked at seeing him struggle to even lift himself.

“Need help there?” Gilda asked in some confusion, before he lifted himself enough for her to see just how little muscle he had, and quickly moved to get him upright with a talon. “Plop dude! If you’re weak you should’ve said something!”

“Hey, I only take help when I need it. Thanks though. So, old friend of Dash’s?” Bronze asked conversationally as Gilda seemed to be eyeing him up with a thoughtful look. “What?”

“It shouldn’t be too hard...a little more protein, some griffin calisthenics, you’d be right as rain in a month or so.” She then blinked and blushed. “Uh, don’t mention that egghead moment to Dash or I’ll pound you.”

“Meh, fine. Nothing wrong with being smart though, it’d be easier if you just accepted it. I’m Bronze Brave. Once a human, then a minotaur, then a balrog, now a wimpy alicorn. And...ugh...Prince of Space.” Bronze felt his irritation spike at the title. Damn it. Just because he’s now genetically related to Luna….

“Yeah, noticed the horn, but you don’t feel all tingly to be around like the more brainy unicorns.” Gilda sat next to him, and they started shooting the breeze.

Apparently she was here to visit her old friend Dash, maybe move here if the town was ‘cool’ enough. As they chatted, he even ended up talking about Pinkie and how good her baking was, and Gilda got an oddly fierce edge to her eyes. He wasn’t sure what that was about, but when Dash came down near sundown and said she was done cleaning the guest room, they said goodnight and went to sleep.

[(X)]

“Rainbow Dash~!” Bronze woke up to the sound of Pinkie’s high-pitched voice calling, and he groaned as she called repeatedly, starting to sound disappointed.

“Wait! Pinkie!” Bronze called as he managed to drag himself out the front door and look over the edge down at the small pink speck down below. “Pinks! What’s up?!” Pinkie blushed at the nickname again, but shook herself out of it.

“Is Rainbow Dash up yet? I know she sleeps in on her days off, but I was hoping we could all go pranking again!” Pinkie’s plans made Bronze visibly cringe, he didn’t want to do that again too soon, and he had a training session with Bulk to get to anyway.

“I’m afraid-!”

“He’s hanging with us!” Bronze jolted at suddenly having Gilda next to him, a talon on the back of his ne-oh~...why was she rub-ah~...yeah...oh he needs that, his neck’s all stiff...she has magic talons….

“Huh? Who are you?” Pinkie asked as Dash zipped out of her bedroom window, not seeing Gilda massaging her only guy friend’s neck, said stallion was almost mush in the grinning griffin’s talon by then.

“She’s my old friend from flight school! Pinkie Pie, I want you to meet Gilda Le Grand.” Dash introduced, and the griffin puffed out her chest as she swooped down and landed in front of the baker.

“Yep! Daughter of master baker Gustav Le Grand!” She boasted, grinning superiorly at Pinkie, who also grinned and leered back, sparks flying between their eyes. “So...I hear you bake?”

“Yeah? What you bake? Shortbreads?” Pinkie asked, and Gilda leered a bit fiercer.

“Crepes.” Gilda stated as if it was incredibly important, and they started leaning into their competitive glares.

“Whoa-whoa! G, Pinkie’s cool! She can bake almost anything!” Dash realized too late her folly, as Gilda’s feathers all puffed up. Bronze watched from overhead, still completely lost.

“Anything huh?” Gilda and Pinkie were now pressed face-to-face, their leers in full power. “I challenge you to a Bake Off!”

“*GASP* But we just met! I don’t know if I’m ready for such a commitment!” Pinkie protested as she backed off, Gilda grinning at the suddenly nervous mare.

“What’s the matter pony? Can’t take the heat?” Gilda asked, rubbing her knuckles against her chest as Pinkie mulled over the idea.

“Not right now. What you want is something serious.” Pinkie sat on her haunches and crossed her forelegs over her chest with a wise nod. “Sorry, but I’m not comfortable with such a challenge from someone I don’t even know. It’s customary that Bake Off competitors be willing to share recipes, and I don’t want to lose some of my unique treats yet.”

“Hmph, fine. But I get to bake in your kitchen for Dash and Brave then.” Gilda compromised, understanding Pinkie’s position. She didn’t have any really special recipes herself, so she didn’t mind sharing her personal favorite of Griffin Claw doughnuts if Pinkie had accepted.

“What’s happening?” Bronze asked as he managed to hover down shakily next to Dash, who seemed just as confused as him as she shrugged. “Look, Pinkie, as cool as it would be to hang out or whatever’s going on; Gilda’s an old friend of Dash’s from school. Wouldn’t a friend give them some time alone?”

“What about you though Bronze?” Pinkie asked with some hope, only for the griffin to hover up with the other fliers and nudge Bronze a bit, making him wobble uncertainly.

“I’m hanging with him too. Dash is a bit TOO hardcore sometimes, and I probably remember more of flight school than her anyway. So sorry Pink, but I don’t see wings on your back.” Gilda pointed out, and Pinkie beamed up at her. “What?”

“Be right back!” Pinkie took off so fast she left a ‘her’ shaped cloud of dust, and they within seconds heard squeaking and turned to see Pinkie approaching from a whole other direction entirely in a quad-pedal sort of helicopter, making Dash and Gilda gawk while Bronze almost had a nerdgasm at the sight of it.

“No way! A manual-powered gyrocopter! Pinkie that’s awesome! Where’d you get it?” Bronze asked as in his excitement he managed to forget to focus on flying, and just let his new body’s instincts take over as he hovered around his unusual friend while Gilda growled to herself and Dash was just scratching her head.

“I made it silly! It’s easy! You just have to take in account the force needed to get upward propulsion, the needed span of the blades, and also putting some latent pegasus magic in the blade using feathers during the forging process helps too!” Pinkie explained as she finished approach and easily maintained altitude next to the winged group. “So I can watch! You three all do your thing. I needed to take this baby out for a spin anyway. Tee hee~! Spin!”

“Uh...I don’t see a problem with that...do you?” Dash asked Bronze and Gilda. Bronze clearly had no issue, but Gilda, while looking rather miffed, still agreed. “Okay! This way!”

[(X)]

“How is it standing on the cloud?” Bronze pondered as he was laying on his belly, crawling around the skids of the gyrocopter as he tried to understand how a metal contraption was standing on a cloud. He had accepted living beings like himself, pegasi, and even birds apparently being able to just touch clouds like nobody’s business, but a machine?

“I infused shed pegasus feathers in the skids too. If I can’t land and take a rest, I’d just fall.” Pinkie explained while Dash and Gilda talked what sort of curriculum to run Bronze through.

“I said no, we can’t just throw him into an advanced lesson Dash. Do you want him to go splat?” Gilda hissed at her friend, who just couldn’t understand what the problem was.

“If he falls, we catch him, simple. Why are you so bent out of shape over this? You used to be all gung-ho about flying like me.” Dash wondered and Gilda raised an eyebrow at her.

“Dash, I love you-.” Gilda didn’t notice her friend’s face explode in a blush as she was looking away. “-but you need to realize not everyone with wings is a natural. I found that out the hard way.” Dash, realizing it wasn’t a confession, quickly planted her face in the cloud to hide her blush before Gilda turned her head back to face her. “Dash?”

“Yeah G?”

“Why are you playing ostrich? We haven’t played that since we were kids.” Gilda asked, and Dash pulled her no-longer-flushed face out to grin nervously.

“Nostalgia? Okay, fine, we give him the basics of the basics. I was starting him off with hovering so he wouldn’t tire himself out from walking since he’s still so weak, but I guess maybe an acrobatics lesson is too much.” Dash decided, and Gilda was about to turn around when something hit her on the head.

“Ow! The flock?” Gilda took the hard item that really hurt her head out of her plumage and saw what seemed to be a purple six-sided die containing a spiral galaxy. “Where the...flock it. It hurt me, so chuck it.” Gilda tossed the offending item with an angry pitch towards town, having no clue what she’d just done.

[? PoV]

The die landed in the center of the town square’s fountain, being juggled by the spray until a burst of water sent it flying out of the square, bouncing off an awning, and skittering across a roof, where it was accidentally kicked by a free-running caramel stallion running from a persistent wall-eyed mare with a package he didn’t want to accept. With that last strike, it finally flew across the next street, and through the window of a living tree-turned-library, where it ricocheted off a couple of bookshelves, knocking over some poorly-placed books, and finally came to a stop in the center of the floor, landing on six.

After a few seconds of nothing, suddenly the die shot into the air on it’s own, and spawned a purple portal that launched something out with ridiculous force. Said something crashed right through the wooden statue in the middle of the large main chamber, and through the door to the basement, leaving a horrible mess and creating an enormous noise.

Thankfully nobody was home right now, the proprietress and her assistant having gone out for lunch.

“Oh~...why? WHY~?!” A whiny raspy voice called out from the basement, which was also horribly mangled by the now-identified-as-living projectile that shifted under a pile of scrapped metal from what might have been a very expensive and sophisticated magical examination device, but we may never know now. “Why am I thinking in Narrative?” I asked myself as I crawled out from under the pile of scrap, shaking it off as I stood up, and promptly fell over backwards, hitting my head. “Ow! What the hell-?!”

‘Why are my hands gone?’ I asked myself as I stared at the metal right hoof and hole-riddled black chitinous left hoof that had replaced my hands, and the arms attached to them as well. “No! NO!” I wriggled around, the hard-shelled covers for what was obviously my new wings making it hard to roll over since I’d flared them open in panic. “Okay Dox, calm down. It isn’t your first time as a quadruped. Remember how you moved as Solaris...before the anthropomorphization of the planet happened.”

I, now a black-shelled bug-pony rolled himself over smoothly, and stood up to properly examine myself to ensure I wasn’t injured. I was as big as I’d been as Solaris, which is a bit bigger than Celestia, meaning I must be a King changeling. My legs had the tell-tale holes save my mechanical one, but my mane and tail were a shock of spiky white that was long and shaggy. I idly lifted my right foreleg up and the hoof morphed into a disk that became chrome and allowed me to see my reflection. My biological right eye was still green, and my left Echo Eye was still intact too from the odd forced change.

“Okay, I’m all in one piece, if a bit ragged. But no, not dealing with this.” I tried to reach into my dimensional storage pocket...and hoofed air. “What?” I began swiping at the air, starting to hyperventilate as I began panicking. “My stuff! All my stuff! And all I’m wearing is-.”

“MY LIBRARY!” I heard a terrifying shriek of fury that I had hoped I would never encounter. “WHO BROKE INTO MY-?!” Twilight’s infuriated voice stopped suddenly as the source had ended at the top of the stairs, and I blushed. I know why she froze.

“Um...I can explain?” I tried as I turned my head, seeing the flush-faced ‘Feral’ Unicorn Twilight gawking at my thong-squeezed chitinous flanks.

“Twilight, what is it? Do I need to get help?!”

“S-stay outside Spike!” Twilight urged, trotting into the basement as she cast a spell that restored everything to proper order, even the broken thingamajig I’d crashed through. “Who are you, what are you doing here, WHAT are you, and why are you wearing...that?” Twilight demanded, getting flustered at mentioning what to normal ponies is sexy-sextime clothes only.

“Okay, if I’m here, then that means one thing; a Displaced is here. Does that term ring any bells?”

“Uh...we have maybe hundreds of thousands of poor souls that were evacuated here from a dying world, but we don’t call them Displaced, they’re refugees.” Twilight replied, scanning me with her eyes as her horn brought forth a scroll and pen...a pen? An actual, honest-to-goodness ballpoint pen? “Well, I need to file a report if you’re a dimensional anomaly, name?”

This...could take a while….

This Twilight. I swear, my Twilight was easier to handle than this one! My Twilight just hit on me for a bit, this Twilight won’t stop asking questions! I hate it!

“Do you ever stop asking questions?!” I said, interrupting her long stream of questions. “No offense to you, but if you don’t stop, I might just kill myself.” To prove my point, I willed forth the Changeling Blade onto my hand-now-hoof and then held it up to my neck.

“Ah! I’m sorry, so sorry! Please don’t!” Twilight pleaded as she tossed the scroll and pen across the room. “No need to be extreme! I had to cross-reference your info with what I’ve gathered from the Internet!” Twilight insisted, levitating up a tablet she’d been using at the same time without my knowing.

“The internet?” I asked, pulling the sword away for a mere second, only to put it back to my neck. “Well, now I know I should kill myself.”

“No don’t-!”

“Too late.” And with that, I slit my throat and fell to the floor with a thud. Man, she didn’t react like I was hoping. Instead of running off in a panic, she summoned an emergency first-aid kid and started ranting off all kinds of medical jargon as she scanned me, and I rolled my eyes as I got up, making her scream, shouting zombie. “Braaaaaainnnnns~!”

“AH~! IT’S TRUE! THEY DO EXIST! BRONZE~!” Twilight screamed as she threw a table at me, running up the stairs and slamming the door behind her, barricading it from the other side.

“Bronze?” I said from under the table, pondering the name she screamed. “Huh, odd. Sounds like a normal pony name. Then again, it could be the Displaced. I mean, there was David and then Gabe who ended up going native, and this world so far is clearly a Feral or ‘Normal’ one. And then there’s me...maybe this Equestria has a limitation on the species here.” I jolted out from under the table as I heard Twilight frantically rambling to whoever she was leading into the library. “And Vanilla Equestrias, thus far from my own experience and other’s experiences, tells me I should run. But the question is, can I teleport out of this building?” My answer came in the form of me melting into shadows, and whisking away to find myself now standing in the familiar ruin of the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, or as I prefer to call it lately; Castle Everfree.

“Whew! Thank gog I can still do that. Whatever’s blocking my storage here hasn’t blocked my other abilities. DM. What’s going on?” I didn’t get an answer, and I started pacing in worry. “DM, c’mon, I know you can answer.”

Signal. Poor. Local. God. Barrier.

“The fuck does that mean?!” I screamed.

Find. Displaced.

So that’s what it boils down to. Ugh...and I made things harder on myself by scaring Twilight like that. For all I know, I might have a witch-hunt out for me already.

[(X)]

“BURN THE ZOMBIE!” Spike shouted to a group of foals, who all raised little toy tools in mimicry of a lynch mob as Twilight growled about his mockery from the basement, surrounded by her friends save Dash.

“I’m TELLING you all the truth! There was a Changeling King in here, named Dox, from another universe, saying that there are countless others like him called The Displaced, who were tossed out of their original universe often by a malignant being called the Merchant, and it matches up with a series of something called FanFiction on the internet when I cross-referenced his claims.” Twilight stated, holding a ream of printer paper with pages upon pages of titles and intro summaries, and yanks out one titled The Dungeon Master of Equestria. “I gave it a quick speed-read, but it ends just as he disappears after a hang-gliding accident.”

“Twilight, calm your teats.” Bronze deadpanned. He was still tired from Gilda and Dash putting him through the ringer they called ‘warm-ups’. “I believe you. Just tell me; am I dealing with something that needs muscle? Because I don’t have that anymore.”

“Don’t y’all even think it colt! Yer stayin’ with me if ya think Ah’ll let ya take such stupid risks like ya did with that hydra again.” Applejack declared as she moved next to him and forced him to sit down. “Rest hun, yer exhausted.”

“Damn it AJ, I’m not a child….” Bronze protested weakly as he leaned into her.

“Well, no, if we don’t approach him with violent intent, he’d be more than fine talking to us if what I read in this is accurate.” Twilight mused, and blushed. “Or...other things, even if he’s not the one to initiate.”

“Oh...my….” Fluttershy blushed, hiding in her mane at the very thought of intimacy.

“He sounds fun!” Pinkie cheered, she was admittedly tired herself from the gyrocopter, but she was better off than Bronze.

“He waits for the lady to initiate? He sounds like quite the gentlecolt. Let’s go find him, I wish to ask of his world’s fashion.” Rarity commented, getting agreements from everypony.

“Well, when I walked in on him, he was wearing...a thong.” Twilight whisper-talked even though it was just them, and all the mares gasped as Bronze looked at them in confusion.

“What? I get thongs are perverted, I wore one when I was a little kid to the beach since my mom had a sense of humor back then, but what is it that has you all so flustered?” Bronze asked, and AJ leaned up to his ear and whispered, making his face turn red up to said ear. “Uh...wow...talk about reversals. Back on Earth, er, Terra, taking OFF clothes was considered sexy.”

“So you really had no idea why mares were ogling you when you constantly wore pants when you first came here? How awkward….” Rarity commented, blushing as she thought he was simply extremely confident and showing off by using the pants to emphasize his torso back then.

“Well, whatever, Twilight. Can you track him?” Twilight blushed and sheepishly laughed as she summoned forth a plastic baggy holding a tuft of shock-white hair.

“I may have discretely collected a sample of his tail while I was questioning him. I can use this to track him down.” They all looked at her with leers, even Fluttershy looked at her disapprovingly, and she wilted. “Yeah...I need to learn about barriers.”

I was exploring the castle as I pondered where the Displaced could be. For all I know, Bronze is just another pony here. However, for all I know, he could be the Displaced and I’m wasting time. But also, I kinda pulled a dick move with Twilight back there. Man, I’m becoming way too much like my father. Why did my vacation have to be interrupted again? While HANG-GLIDING at that! And for that matter, where the hell did my glider go?!

Upon thinking that, I regretted it, because somehow the damn thing popped out of the air like a token would and slammed full-speed into me. “Fuck. This version of Equestria is completely ruled by cartoon logic isn’t it?”

In response, a bowling ball fell from the sky and smashed my noggin open, spilling brains everywhere, yet I didn’t die instantly and could regenerate without a Saving Throw. “Yep...don’t question it Dox. Accept it.” In response an anvil smashed through the floor a foot away from my face, followed by a safe a bit further than that, and then a piano landed daintily on it’s stands without any damage. “...Ah...a reward?” The piano then suddenly collapsed into itself. “Damn it!”

“This way girls! My Pinkie Sense is tingling!” Crap. Not her. I don’t care what universe I’m in, please, just don’t throw her at me again-! “HI!” She popped out of a window that opened in the air.

“AH! AH~!” I screamed, jumping backwards and willing forth the Changeling Blade again. I swear, I was shaking from her little jumpscare. “DON’T. DO. THAT.”

“He’s up here girls! And the thong is hawt~!” She called behind her into the window, closing it, revealing herself and the others sans Rainbow and instead a black and silver alicorn stallion that was...extremely scrawny in muscle and almost shorter than most of them. “Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie and-!”

“I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Stay back!” I shouted, waving my bladed hoof at them as I backed away from the Pink Menace.

“Dude, lower the weapon, or I show you how much having a horn shoved up your ass hurts.” The scrawny alicorn spoke with a deep, loud, tenor baritone that, had he been bigger, might have made me shiver at how radio-worth it was, or how angry he clearly was about me being so defensive.

I slowly brought my bladed hoof down to the floor, watching as they all visibly calmed down, only to freak out again as I brought the blade to my throat again. “We know who you are Dox. You’d have to be completely obliterated to die. I’m not falling for it this time.” Twilight declared, and I blinked at her. “I read your FanFiction.”

“Nope.” I said, bringing the blade away from my throat and abruptly slamming my hoof into the ground. “Nope. Not again, nope. Nope nope nope nope nope, SO MUCH NOPE!”

“Well unlike Mistress Change, I actually have a paper copy of it up to the point where you mysteriously disappear in a hang-gliding accident while on vacation.” Twilight added, making it only slightly less nope worthy.

“Twilight, please stop wasting paper. Not much survived the holocaust as it is, and it’s tiring getting Jeeves to hunt for the stuff for you, AND the manufacturers to use as templates.” The alicorn stallion scolded the purple mare, who whined and he rolled his eyes. “You can get the stuff the paper companies start selling soon over their less sophisticated stuff. Anyway, I’m Bronze Brave, and if you’re here, then you’re stuck here, aren’t you?”

“To my knowledge, yes.” I said. “Now, it’s my turn to ask a question. How the hell did you track me?"

“Twilight went all stalker and snipped some of your tail hair while you weren’t looking!” Pinkie answered, getting Twilight to blush and glare at her friend while I just shuddered. You can’t be telling me every Twilight across existence is so...ugh.

“Thank you.” I said. “Now, to quote a doctor and a friend: Allons-y!” And with that, I tried to teleport away. Emphasis on tried…. As in I failed, somehow. It wasn’t Null, I was just...denied.

“Going somewhere?” Bronze asked all business, his blank face as he approached told me he was to blame. “Sorry, you’re not just going to run off. I don’t have that kind of patience.”

“What about this, then?” I said, remembering something I had found out about ponies lately. I lifted up a hoof…. and poked his nose. “Boop.” He didn’t move...why didn’t that work?! He did grin though, and moved a hoof up to my face.

“Boop.” He only tapped me, and the next thing I knew, for some reason, Gravity had turned off on me!

“The frig?!” I said as I started floating upwards. I used my own gravity powers to stop my crazy flight, but I couldn’t bring myself in any direction! I tried to get gravity to listen to me like Kat taught me, but nothing was happening besides me being allowed to stabilize myself. “You have Gravity Powers?!”

“No. Now we’re going to have a chat and-.”

“OMIGOSH! Was that use of Star Swirl’s third law of relativity in action?! Bronze! When did you learn magic?!” Twilight started geeking out, and both Bronze and I groaned. Apparently we both had a similar distaste for Purple-Smart’s enthusiasm for these sorts of things.

“NO!” We both shouted as she was about to start running scans, and she cowered away behind her friends, who all both agreed with us, yet consoled her regardless.

“So, before we get going with the trivia, any idea how to get me down?” I asked. “I would get myself down, but it appears my powers are on the fritz because of you.”

“Not on the fritz, simply denied.” Wha? “Gravity is a tangible thing, a force that itself is the center of all-.”

“I’m a Gravity Shifter, I know this, could you skip to the part about getting me down?” I demanded irritably, only to find myself smashed face-first into the floor of the castle roof. “Ow….”

“Pay attention smartass. I’m not Gravity, not even one specific thing. Luna has the moon, Tia the sun. I am the Force that they obey. That ALL things in EXISTENCE obey!” I decided to stop his grandstanding there.

“Blabity blabity blah.” I said. “Listen, if you know who I am, my story, then you know I’m not impressed.”

“Don’t know, don’t care. What? Want a lollipop? I didn’t even have a fucking CHOICE in this! I’m sure you didn’t either from how I understand things now though. Fate’s a bitch. You smack it enough, it smack’s back, and keeps smacking.” Bronze growled, looking at his horn in disgust.

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” I said. “Hell, I never had a chance. Doubt you did, but hey, ya never know. Just reminds me of my friend Avarice.”

“Nice name...seems Shirish to me.” Bronze commented as he sat down in front of me as I sat up, dwarfing him. “So, are you going to listen? Tell me what’s what with this whole Displaced business? Because I found myself walking through my front door into this place a couple months ago, and if that isn’t being Displaced, I don’t know what is.”

“A couple of months ago?” I said. “Wow, you’ve had it easy, not taking into account your experiences. I’ve been like this for, well, a year or so now. I’ve known Displaced who’ve been like this for thousands of years.”

“Your world been nuked? You get to watch it happen?” Bronze demanded, and it triggered a memory of someone saying something similar. “You get to feel your very essence be ripped out of you as you desperately try to save as many as you can? Even if it destroys you?” He demanded, Applejack suddenly approaching him and nuzzling him as tears tried to come from his eyes. “Sorry...still getting over it.”

“Hold up, did you say your world was nuked?” I asked.

“Yeah. About a month ago. I brought Luna to my world, just as a stop-over for convenience to take her to Zecora’s so they could meet and we could have a time together butchering the hydra I killed. She thoughtlessly moved my world’s moon closer and...well...the ensuing Chaos just unraveled what little decorum was left and...it fell apart.” Bronze ended with a choked sob, AJ whispering sweet nothings in his ear as she pet his mane.

“Ya know, that story reminds me of someone else.” I said, putting a hoof to my chin and rubbing it. “In fact, it sounds identical to Avarice’s story about his world. The thing is, he kept mentioning a friend of his while he told me. You wouldn’t happen to know an Anthon, would you?” The stunned silence and gawking from all of them was answer enough.

“...Where’s Konrad?” Bronze demanded, he looked like he’d just been given a purpose when he’d lost hope, and considering who Avarice used to be, well, it was obvious I had no reason not to say.

“Avarice, or Konrad as you knew him, is fine.” I said. “He’s back in his own universe. If you wanted, I could probably tell him I saw you, or tell you what his token is so you can look out for it.”

“Jeeves has been scanning the Multiverse a whole month with no leads, that damned Merchant left no trail of where it sent him. I’ll look out for his...Token?” Bronze asked in interest.

“Yeah….” I said. “About that. He… He’s kind of…. How do I say this?...” I rolled my hooves around in the air, gesturing towards Bronze, who quickly grasped the concept.

“Damn, that Ascended has already gotten him that far along? Shit, I was hoping in vain I could stop it. Oh well. So long as he’s okay. Now what’s this about tokens?” Bronze asked as it started to get dark out, and he sighed. “Hold on, let me move this someplace more comfortable.”

“Okay, so where-?” Where’d that door come from? There was literally, a mahogany door standing in the middle of the floor. It’s presence was oddly intimidating, especially considering it was big enough for an 18-foot tall F.A.U.S.T. to walk through, and had several knobs along the left side, each one a different size according to the user. “What...the…?”

“Huh...Jeeves has been a little liberal in the remodeling. I just wanted it to not be so familiar, not entirely different. Now a hydra could squeeze through if it wanted.” Bronze shook his head, and moved to the giant door that the others were similarly in awe of. I’m guessing it isn’t normally like this? “Jeeves! Open up! What have you done with my house?!” He knocked on the giant door firmly three times, no more, no less.

And then the door cracked open, revealing a bipedal humanoid stone golem wearing a tuxedo, his rocky face somehow in a bland and dry expression as his equally bland and dry British accent answered. “I have taken the liberty of refurbishing your home sir. Please, do come in.” The fact the golem was full-size as the door was rather scary, but what was even more so was how when Bronze entered it, he was suddenly of a size on the other side where everything was at a scale he could comfortably interact with from what I saw through the door. “If you are quite finished dawdling, please, enter. I do not condone pests flying through the door.”

“Watch it snob. Or I’ll bring others in with me.” I said, walking inside. I found myself actually eye-level with Bronze now. It wasn’t disorienting at all though, which was what was most disconcerting. However, my pause got me a certain Pink Party Pony to put her hooves on my flanks, and click her tongue.

“Hey, giddy-up! The door’s only made for one silly!” She then punctuated it by squeezing my plot, and lidding her eyes. “Or do you want me to show you how to properly wear this thing?”

“GET OFF!” I screamed, running inside. I paused quickly, as the Pink Menace had quickly dismounted upon me leaving the small entry hall, and we were in a lavish marble mansion with a wall of bay windows showing views from multiple different locations, some in space, others other worlds that weren’t Equestrias, one however kept viewed on the dead, orange and brown rock Avarice showed me, another showing what my lessons with Kat have taught me was Equus. The fact Bronze was gawking right next to me told me this was new to him too. “Your house?”

“I thought it WAS!” Bronze exclaimed...huh, I just noticed he’s wearing a bronze nose ring. With Celtic Boars on it running Widdershins...that is all Chaos right there.

‘Right, Avarice said Vaga told him that his friend Anthon is a balancing Chaotic Presence for this world.’ I looked around as the girls came in behind us and the golem named Jeeves approached.

“Drinks anyone?” Suddenly, a mug of some drink was hovering before me. I sniffed it, and promptly grabbed it with my gravity powers and chugged the huge mug down in one go. Cactus Cooler, chilled to just the right temperature! Amazing. “Please, do wander. I wish to know everyone’s opinions of the home’s recent update. Since it was moved to the Void, fixing it up was as easy as-.” Jeeves pointed to Pinkie.

“Cupcakes!” Suddenly Jeeves was holding a whole tray of cherry-chimichanga cupcakes, fully cooked, moist, and frosted. “Oh~ I’m in heaven!”

“How did you… Know what, not questioning it.” I said. “Already seen enough weird shit today as is. So, who’s guiding the tour?"

“Nobody. I said you are free to wander, and that is enough. There is nothing here valuable and worth protecting from damage, nor is there enough space as of yet to get lost. The bedrooms are that way, and the facilities and kitchen is that way. Do avoid the stairs however, they lead to the other Doorways. Now then, I do ask that you keep your Chu behaved and in the pet palace over yonder with Bronze’s other pets.” The golem pointed towards a wall which suddenly had an entranceway, and inside was a veritable pet paradise that already had three dogs and three cats all lounging about contently as the red Chu pony was shifting about a shallow pool of water, and even waved to me.

“Ya know, I was kinda wondering where she went.” I said. “How’d she even get in there? I thought she was in a bottle that was connected to my thong.”

“Time and Place are irrelevant things. I had assumed you knew this much. If that is all, I have my duties on Terra to see to about continuing the transfer of the Svalbard Global Seed Vault’s contents to the Herbology department of the Star Swirl Academy.” Then he was gone. Simply, gone. Not there. Vanished.

“Where… How… Know what, still not caring.” I said. I turned towards Bronze. “So, boss, where to? I still need to tell you some things about the Displaced.”

“I was hoping we could just sit around on my ridiculously comfortable couches, but-.” Suddenly. Couches. “Nevermind, good to see that still works in the Void. Let’s chat.”

[(X)]

To say it was enlightening was an understatement. Bronze had thought his situation was unique. Sure, he wasn’t Displaced by the normal means according to Dox, but he was still Displaced for sure, considering he met all the criteria aside from the fact he wasn’t cosplaying when it happened, and he wasn’t turned into a character from fiction. Or...well...if what Twilight says is true; actually they all were. Damn My Little Pony! Making cool universes!

“So now I have to watch out for others like us, along with trying to get ripped again and accustomed to my powers, AND the canon storyline?” Bronze asked Dox in annoyance, getting nods out of the changeling.

“Yep.” Dox said. “Among things. You should also watch out for anything weird that leaks through the multiverse. I’d say try staying away from anyone that is under the shadow of the Architect. Corruption is a scary thing.”

“Not to mention unexpected factors.” Twilight butted in. “After all, according to the script….” Twilight summoned another ream of paper, this one titled MLP:FiM, and skimmed over near the beginning. “It would seem you were Displaced here at about the start of our own story, and your involvement was sorta conveniently dovetailed in if I compare what happened with what’s here. Also, the hydra attack and you killing it aren’t mentioned at all, so this thing can only be a precautionary tool.” Twilight waved the small book of paper at them, getting Bronze to roll his eyes and Dox to want to burst it into flame.

“Twilight. Foreknowledge is as much a curse as none. The anticipation leads to both foolish certainty, as well as being unprepared for extreme disappointment should it not happen.” Bronze stated wisely, getting Dox to nod along with him.

“Hell, you might not even see some events.” Dox said. “You said something about a Starlight Glimmer, or something like that earlier. While I’m sure she might exist here, I never saw her. But that whole tale for her sounds like what the mane 6 had to do on my world. Honestly, I don’t know. Too much shit’s been going on for me to even consider ‘canon’.”

“But this is an important resource! In fact, I figured out that yesterday and today were supposed to be the events of a section called Griffon the Brush-Off, where Gilda shows up, acts like a total jerk, and leaves in a huff, where she isn’t mentioned for a long, long time after.” Twilight informed as she looked over the book-sized bound printing paper.

“Hey!” Dox yelled. “Be careful with your information. Spoilers ruin things. Trust me, they do.”

“But already things have happened differently, a divergence. Bronze was there at Dash’s house when Gilda showed up. Gilda instead of being an outright jerk, instead revealed she was a baker and-.”

“Tried to steal my recipes!” Pinkie injected angrily, her mane and tail going flat for a split second. “A Bake Off challenge requires all parties share at least one personal recipe, unless it’s a friendly challenge. But her challenge was not friendly at all.” Pinkie ground out, her hair flattening a bit.

“Yes, well, anyway.” Twilight added, scooting away from the pink mare on their shared couch as the others had decided to explore. It would seem her foreknowledge of Party of One was already coloring her friend in a bad light. “As I was saying, Bronze; you are the main Divergence in our lives. You never existed in our base timeline or instance. Anything you’re involved in will by extension change accordingly. We’ll see the fallout of your interactions with Gilda when we get back, but otherwise I’ll have to see to somehow arranging your absences from certain events so they don’t take unnecessary turns.”

“For that, I have an answer.” Dox stated. “Bronze, you just need to make a token, and cast it out into the Void.”

“To help others right? I can’t help myself right now. That trick I did with turning off your gravity is pretty much the biggest thing I can do right now besides deny teleports and move vast distances quickly.”

“Well, yeah.” Dox said. “Hell, if I get a copy of your token, I could give one to Avarice. I’m pretty sure he’d love to see you.”

“I know I’d love to see him too. I need to see at least one of my old friends soon. I have no clue where they could be in this world, considering my power latched onto those close to me first since it was easier. Okay, so from what you explained earlier….” Bronze reached a hoof up to his nose ring, twitching his nose and removing it. “Can I copy this? I don’t want to lose the original. It’s kinda important to my personal identity.”

“Oh yeah, when you were a minotaur and had your Defining Trait revealed right? Well, here, it should be easy for me to do that. I just need access to my dimensional storage pocket.” Dox offered and Bronze sighed as his horn shined, and suddenly Dox opened a hole in the air and reached in, taking out a bronze ornament that was just loot. “This will be easy to do.” Dox boasted, before using his gravity powers, since magnetism would just electrify bronze, to literally mash the small ornament into a ring, which he then did the same to create the engraved Celtic Boars that were on Bronze’s actual nose ring.

“Gravity powers FTW.” Bronze joked as he put his nose ring back in, visibly becoming more relaxed when he did so. “Alright, give it here. I don’t really have much to offer, but I’ll see what I can say.”

“Just remember to be true about yourself. That’s the most important thing.” Dox insisted, giving the dense duplicate nose ring to Bronze, who held up the ring in his hoof, his deep blue eyes shining a bit.

“If you need Asylum, someone to talk to, or if I can; direct assistance, then feel free to call upon me. Bronze Brave of Space, master of spacial distortion.” Bronze then looked at a window, which flung open into the murky nothingness of the Void, and the ring launched out into the emptiness like a bullet, before the small hatch in the giant bay window closed, and resumed its previous viewpoint. “There. I’m another step closer to finding my best friend. I hope you or him find a copy and summon me soon. I need to hear from him how he’s doing.”

“Ya know, it would have been easier for me to do that if you just handed it back to me?” Dox said.

“Hey, I don’t control my powers as much as they control me sometimes, it just happened. This place IS in the Void mind you. For all I know-.” A copy of his token suddenly shot in through a window, breaking it and it fixed itself instantly before it struck Dox in the neck. “-That might happen!”

“OW!” Dox yelped. “The hell! Well, at least I can take this to Avarice now. I’ll tell him who it’s from.”

“Be sure to tell him ‘From the fat douche to the beanpole douche’, he’ll know for sure then.” Bronze grinned before he yawned. “Oh...yeah...it’s late, wow. Just go on through any Doorway, it’ll return you home if you have it in mind when opening it. It was nice to meet you Dox.”

“Nice to meet you too Bronze. Now then, if I am permitted to leave as you say, I have six sexy fiances to get back to. I hope they aren’t worried too much about this happening again.” Dox mentioned as he got up and approached the Pet Palace. “Cherry~, time to go!” His pet goo pony made popping sounds in elation before quickly slithering along and flowing into the bottle tied by the neck to his thong’s waistband. “See you later Bronze!” Dox approached a door, and opened it, only to see the Pet Pantry. “Oh, heh, heh. Sorry.” He then tried the front door, revealing a high-end penthouse, and exited, the door closed on it’s own after him.

Bronze and Twilight both sat in their seats a bit awkwardly now that the subject of conversation was over. “Uh...I guess we all just go home now? It is really late.” Twilight asked, looking over at a window that suddenly showed her library interior, with Spike conked out on the floor, having apparently dozed off trying to do his chores without the guidance of a list. “Oh, such a good dragon. I’d best be off.”

“Night Twi, I’ll just sleep here.” Bronze called to her as she opened the front door, now leading into her library, before closing it. The others had all trickled out by now, save Pinkie. He shuddered at the tyranny she was wreaking upon his poor kitchen again, as last time ended up with her naked, covered in syrup, sitting on the floor, legs spread...damn it, stupid sexy Pinkie Pie! Bronze groaned into the couch cushion, trying not to think arousing thoughts. Hearing Pinkie moan over something delicious in his kitchen though, those efforts were in vain, and he sighed. “Jeeves-.”

“Tea Sir?”

“Thank you.”

Author's Note

YES! Doorways has had it's Displaced Cherry popped! I even asked the group admins if it would fly and they said it was fine. Just as well, this was a long time coming, considering Doorways set the setting of the Con where Avarice was Displaced, and the two characters have a good history with each other.

So once again, another of my stories had it's Displaced Cherry Popped by Dox XD. DJ A String is such a cool guy.

Why Are My Friends Like This?

It had been about a week since Dox’s visit and the discovery of the Displaced. To say it was baffling and overwhelming was an understatement to be sure, but Bronze accepted it easily enough. His parents though...they were not happy to hear that their son was originally a target for some entity that wanted to utterly separate him from everything he knew and loved.

So there were a few days where his mom and dad decided to spend some quality time with him rather than hunting the family down. They weren’t too sure how to really spend any actual time with him though, because honestly, they raised Bronze in a very busy and detached environment, and the only way they knew how to spend time together was to watch movies together. So Bronze, wanting that bit of time with his parents, took them to the local cinema to see how pony movies were.

They were awful, hilariously bad. So full of cheese and cliche it left them all laughing and scoffing or groaning and sighing while the locals all genuinely enjoyed the movie, much to the family’s disgust, considering how poorly written the plots were. After that, they agreed it best to wait until Terra’s films were allowed to be public and be ‘remastered’ for local distribution while the originals were kept for historical purposes, and since they’d seen most of the movies in their home in the Void, that would take a while unless Jeeves found some intact films the movie buffs hadn’t seen.

Among all of this however, Bronze continued to train with Bulk, Dash, and Gilda, who was crashing at Rainbow’s place, and finally managed to make a trip to Twilight’s library, where upon admitting his ignorance of pony anatomy, got an embarrassing series of lectures on equine kind, and was instructed to read the Pony Sutra much to his embarrassment. Which leads to where he is now.

“Twilight, I’m not from this world, but...isn’t this sorta...uncouth?” Bronze asked with a raging blush and stiff wings as he was sat behind a desk. Yes, a desk. With Twilight standing in front of a chalkboard that had a disturbingly accurate and detailed drawing of a mare’s plumbing, both x-ray side view and exterior rear-view.

“What do you mean? It’s completely normal for a mare to teach a colt, er...I guess, stallion in this case, about how the female body works. It helps stallions be mentally aware and prepared for what’s to come in terms of the opposite sex and how to react to their significant other’s needs.” Twilight informed factually, making Bronze sigh slowly out his snout.

“Twilight, you’re adorkable, but in human society, such things are not discussed solely between a male and female.” Twilight blinked. “Alone.” Twilight raised an eye ridge. “Together.” Twilight rolled her eyes and Bronze growled. “Without anybody else around!” Finally getting it, the somewhat anti-social unicorn blushed as vividly as Bronze and coughed weakly into a hoof.

“Uh, yes. I can see how this would easily be taken the wrong way. But would you rather learn it from me? Or in a schoolhouse with the hormone-ridden 14 year-olds?” That was another shocker Twilight had helped teach Bronze. Ponies, while having similar lifespans to humans, also developed faster, being on an average fully knowledgeable of sexual activities and safe practices by age 14 rather than around 15 and ponies who prove quite skilled in their talents often find themselves out in the world by 16. Twilight herself was apparently only 17.

“Ugh, fine. But could you not be so...accurate?” Bronze pleaded, gesturing to the chalkboard at the rather impressive chalk drawing, and Twilight quickly shoved the chalkboard over with her magic, her hair hiding her eyes and her tail flicking as she looked down at her hooves in embarrassment.

“Sorry...um...go ahead and take the Pony Sutra and read at your own pace. I’m just going to go...die in a hole, yeah….” Twilight quickly pranced upstairs and Bronze breathed a sigh of relief at the awkward and ridiculous situation being resolved.

“That mare needs to get laid. Not by me. Hell no not by me. I’ve got enough problems.” Bronze huffed as he rubbed his face with his hooves. It was a thing to get used to, but he was able to use his hooves like a normal pony now, and bronze stood up, revealing he’d bulked up slightly over the past week of intense training. ‘Alicorn genes, hell of a thing. Doctors say in the next two weeks, I’ll be perfectly fit for everyday life...too bad I need to be better than that.’

“Hey Bronze! Is Twilight done emasculating you?” Spike asked through the kitchen doorway, he wanted no part in the ‘birds and bees’ lecture, especially since he’d already learned about that at the same time as Twilight and once was enough.

“Yeah you can come out now.” Bronze sighed as the little drake entered as he chewed on a bug sandwich, which he ate for protein, and apparently chitin was similar enough to low-grade gems so they tasted great, or so Spike swore.

“Hey buck, it’s cool bro. I was beyond embarrassed when I learned about, eugh, that. And I was only nine! But no~, Twilight saw no reason to deny me important life knowledge even though I was too young. Pfft. Now I’m just afraid of what’s to come in the next few years, since when I turn 15 this year, things are going to be crazy for me.” Spike griped as he finished his sandwich, and pulled out another one. “Want a daisy sandwich? I made it in case you or Twilight wanted something to eat when you were done.”

“Eh, sure. Thanks Spike.” Bronze levitated the sandwich up to his muzzle and casually bit into it. That was another thing he had to get used to; eating plants besides vegetables. Flowers had their own unique tastes, and he even tried grass. Don’t eat grass. It tastes like those green health smoothies, blech. “Mm, good daisies.”

“Daisy knows how to grow them.” Spike nodded in agreement. “So yeah, like I was saying, Twilight is smart, and really good with her magic and studies, but when it comes to more social things, she’s kinda uh...dumb.” Spike admitted sheepishly, getting Bronze to snort.

“That’s putting it lightly. If this was Terra, she’d be an outcast, shunned for her eccentricities save by others with similar interests. She’s so lucky to have friends as it is.” Bronze said knowingly, considering he was very much an outcast himself back then. “Well, I’ll see you later Spike. Let me know when Twilight gets over her embarrassment.”

“Will do.”

[@]

Bronze was simply trotting through town, wanting to get some rest from his wing exercises and his more intense cardio for a peaceful walk for once as he was heading towards Sweet Apple Acres to visit his marefriend, and maybe go see his other marefriend Zecora in the Everfree about those hydra glands she harvested and whether or not her musings on making a potent muscle-enhancing potion with secretion samples to try and make a functioning formula that had few drawbacks was viable.

Bronze wasn’t one to take shortcuts, but Zecora herself was interested in the concept and was making the potions anyway. As a supportive coltfriend and friend in general, Bronze felt he was personally obligated to help her out since he was a perfect test dummy for such a thing. The things he does for love, considering one of the potential ‘side-effects’ is growing extra limbs.

However, his attention was drawn to a stage that was erected in the town square. The odd thing was, it was completely devoid of an audience, and on the stage was a powder-blue mare with silvery mane and tail speaking quietly with a town guard, who was ubiquitous with the same guards from Canterlot save his armor wasn’t enchanted to hide his natural colors. But what really drew Bronze’s attention was that the mare had bandages around her chest and barrel with visible blood staining them.

“Excuse me!” Bronze called out, getting both the gray stallion’s and the mare’s attention as he approached. “What happened here?”

“O-oh, Prince Brave. This is just an assault case. The griffin at fault has already been arrested and I’m just getting Miss Lulamoon’s last statement.” The guard stated, getting the mare to blink in shock and look at Bronze, who promptly went red with anger.

“I’m not a prince!” Bronze reflexively shouted angrily, getting the earth-pony guard to cower, and Bronze sighed as he took a calming breath. “Look, okay, I think I can guess what happened. Did Miss Lulamoon do anything to Rainbow Dash?”

“Trixie just put the upstager in her place!” Miss Lulamoon, apparently first-named Trixie, stated, only to wince as some of the bandages on her chest got a bit redder, and she cast another spell on herself. “Trixie was just trying to do her show, and several ponies in the crowd wouldn’t let her carry her act on.”

“According to Miss Lulamoon sir, Lady Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash all tried to upstage her when they took offense to her bluster. However, when Rainbow Dash was struck by a weak lightning cloud, the griffin Gilda went into a rage and pounced on Miss Lulamoon like a manticore. Miss Applejack and Rainbow Dash managed to pull her away before serious damage could be done, but we’ve detained her at the guard barracks as she should be for such an attack.” The guard informed, and Bronze sighed as he rubbed his temple with a hoof.

“That’s all well and good guard, return to your duties. I’ll speak with my friends about this later. If they post bail however, stipulate that Gilda must take anger management courses if she’s to continue remaining in public.” Bronze hated doing this, using the clout his position really does have, but sometimes if it meant helping someone, it was better to own up to expectation than to belligerently try to hold distance from the concept.

“Yes sir Prince Brave!” The stallion saluted before he trotted off-stage and towards the barracks, leaving Bronze and the injured mare.

“So, Trixie is it? Would you mind explaining why you’re not in the hospital with those kinds of wounds?” Bronze could tell, aside from the blood, that the injuries were both rather big, and fairly deep, possibly needing stitches if they kept reopening.

“T-Trixie...can’t afford to go to the hospital….” Trixie admitted weakly from her seat on the stage, getting Bronze to blink. He thought medical care was mostly state-funded, or...was that just a misconception on his part? After all, he was already a friend of the state when he was first hospitalized, which was why he never had to pay a bit for his medical care….

“Oh dear...I’m so sorry. I’d help, but the title of Prince was basically just thrown at me, I don’t have any money or real power to help you with that...but I can relieve your pain.” Bronze’s horn glowed the with same deep blue as his eyes, and a wave of the aura draped over Trixie, getting her to sigh and relax. “With how much pain I’ve been feeling for so long, Twilight felt it a good idea to teach me a pain relieving spell.”

“Wow...Trixie is impressed. Medical spells are very hard to learn.” Trixie said with interest as Bronze bashfully scratched his neck.

“Aw it was nothing really. I just have to focus on my desire to help someone, or myself, and then just focus the intent into my horn. Took a bit to cast on others though.” Bronze admitted, getting Trixie to hum as she looked up at her own horn, before easily casting a quick lightshow that appeared to be a mosaic of moving lights, before forming a wireframe display of a fairground and vanishing. “W-whoa...that was beautiful.”

“Hmph, it is simple illusion magic. Trixie’s specialty one could say….” Trixie said as she looked at her wand and veil cutie mark. “Trixie’s talent is to craft illusions, tricks you could say. So other branches of magic are rather difficult for Trixie to grasp.” Trixie admitted sadly.

‘Oh boy, here we go. Why do people confide in me so much?’ Bronze mentally bemoaned as his good nature refused to let him ignore even a hint of sadness, and he sat down too. “Hey, don’t worry about that. I’m not even good at any magic, and I’m an alicorn. I just picked that spell up because I was tired of hurting, and seeing others feel pain. I can barely levitate things, hell, I can’t even teleport without relying on my Aspect.”

“Aspect?” Trixie asked curiously, and Bronze, grinning, decided to ham it up to try and cheer her up, and stood on his hind legs, spreading his wings has he grandly waved his forehooves around.

“Behold! For I am Bronze Brave! Alicorn of Space~!” Bronze then summoned several random objects from around the area around him, such as rain barrels, a cart, and a hay bale, simply by switching the dimensional coordinates around. A beyond difficult trick for master magicians apparently, but for him, so-called ‘master’ of Space, it came as easily as moving a chess piece from one part of the board to another. It was the most he could do actually, aside from denying teleports and gravity to an extent.

“Amazing! Did you just defy Star Swirl’s seventh-?!”

“Yes, yes, whatever number of theory or whatever that an ancient mage came up with, I just defied it. Look, that’s just something I do. You don’t have to be able to do anything more than what you want to or can do. So what if you’re best at illusions? Just work with that.” Bronze encouraged as he waved his hooves around. “I mean, that fairground of light was beautiful. I don’t know if Twilight can do that, but I’m sure she’d appreciate seeing it.”

“That name again. Who is this Twilight? You say she taught you that pain relieving spell, is she a doctor?” Trixie asked curiously as she stood up easily, blinking at realizing she wasn’t in pain.

“No, she’s my friend. She’s Celestia’s personal student, and she knows way too many spells for her own good.” Bronze chuckled as Trixie gawked. “Hey, how about I introduce you? She knows some healing spells, she might just fix you up for free if we explain the situation to her.”

“W-what? Trixie doesn’t like being indebted-.”

“Nonsense! Come now, cheerio, pip-pip!” Bronze mocked as he managed to levitate the protesting mare along. “I say Madame~. You are quite svelte and light~!” Bronze joked with a horribly fake Braytish accent, getting Trixie to blush and huff, making Bronze laugh as he flexed his horn instead of his muscles for once.

[@]

“-And so then Gilda attacked you?” Twilight asked as she focused on the rather deep gashes she was mending while Trixie hissed as the purple aura of the magical prodigy more-or-less literally knitted the torn flesh together from inside outward.

“That’s the gist of it.” Bronze answered for the scrunched-up faced mare that Twilight was not-so-gently healing. Twilight explained she was still a novice at healing magic, but Bronze insisted for both Twilight’s experience and Trixie’s sake. “So I’m going to go and see Gilda at the barracks, see about getting her out on parole if she’ll attend some anger management classes.”

“W-wait! Don’t leave Trixie with-!” Bronze vanished, leaving the mares alone, and they both awkwardly looked at each other as Twilight finished healing her. “Um...thanks.” Trixie said nervously, and Twilight awkwardly looked around, and silently nodded as she kicked a hoof. “Um...I’m Trixie Lulamoon. Don’t mind the third-pony speak, Trixie is just so used to it from her show.”

“I’m...Twilight Sparkle. I’m the...librarian.” Twilight meekly introduced, the two both completely at a loss for how to interact and Spike rolled his eyes before he walked away, muttering about nerds and their anti-social natures.

Meanwhile, Bronze popped on over to the barracks, wobbling on his legs as he blinked his eyes. “Wow...gotta get used to that….” Bronze shook the dizziness out as he entered the low building. The barracks were actually just a humble little bunkhouse with a small jail cell to hold troublemakers, the place didn’t even have a second floor. Yet. Bronze was concerned with how poorly defended the town was, considering before he took a hammer to that Hydra, the town’s only defense was a poisoned hunk of bait. So his appeals to his sisters for more guards for Ponyville was being taken care of, but the guardhouse was going to need some expansions to be putting it lightly.

“Hello Prince Brave. Are you here to oversee the prisoner’s bail?” A random guard asked as he was about to pass towards the back, where he could see Rainbow Dash and Applejack talking to the guard behind the desk next to the cell as Gilda snarked at him from said cell behind the bars.

“More like I’m the one to make sure nothing more happens.” Bronze grumbled as he approached the desk. “Release Gilda.” Bronze ordered, getting Rainbow to woop and Applejack to sigh in relief as Gilda rolled her eyes while the guard grumbled as he fiddled with the keys.

“About time. Let’s just get out of here and-.” Gilda’s beak was held shut by Bronze’s blue aura, and the leer he leveled at her admittedly made her hackles rise.

“Gilda. You are going to attend anger management classes. With Fluttershy if need be.” Bronze ordered, it wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order. Damn it, friend or not, he wasn’t letting an assault on somepony go like it was nothing.

“With Butterfly? That mare can’t even GET angry!” Gilda complained, and Bronze huffed as the guard opened the cell.

“That’s exactly why she’d help you manage your anger. I know nobody better besides Zecora, would you want to undergo some zebra customs? Maybe painful exercises? Potions?” Bronze threatened, and Gilda shrank back at the very real threat of Zebrican therapy, which was very intense and often painful, meant to teach rather than simply help.

“Fine! I’ll just go chat with Flutters now and then, okay?” Gilda said, and Bronze held his glare. “Twice a week! No more!”

“Hey, don’t worry buck, I’ll keep her in line okay?” Rainbow tried to appease Bronze’s anger, and he huffed when it was Applejack who snapped him out of it with a nuzzle.

“Hey, hey, sugarcube, don’t be so tussled over this. We all got a breaking point and Gilda just didn’t take seeing her friend bein’ hurt all too well.” Applejack appeased her coltfriend who calmed down quickly from his marefriend’s reasoning.

“That’s fine, what’s not fine is she drew blood. Watch it Gilda, you need to learn that ponies aren’t as durable as griffins. I had to take Trixie to Twilight for some medical help. Now let’s get out of here, I don’t want to annoy the good guards of Ponyville any more than we have to.” Bronze stated as he led the group outside. “So, aside from you going to see Fluttershy twice a week, we still on for training tomorrow Gilda?”

“You bet your flank we are colt. We gotta keep your practice up if you’re going to be anywhere near as awesome as Dash and I.” Gilda joked as she took off, but both Applejack and Dash blushed when as she took off, Gilda flicked Bronze’s muzzle with her bushy tail-tip, getting him to scrunch his nose in surprise and blink in confusion.

“Griffin tails are long, she needs to be more careful with it.” Bronze checked his nose ring for any hairs while Dash and AJ looked at each other and promptly decided to not bring it up to him as they leaned in to whisper to each other.

“Hey Dash, was that…?”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to her.” Dash then flew off after Gilda as AJ moved up to her colt and leaned against him, glad that he could at least handle that much now.

“So Bronze, now that the day’s almost over...wanna go spend some time with Z?” AJ suggested enticingly, and Bronze huffed with a smile.

“I was planning on it.”

[@]

The next day….

“Life…why do you hate me?” Bronze asked from his place laying on the grass of a field outside of town. He had a nice evening with AJ and Zecora, just talking about Zecora’s homeland and also about the bulk-up potion she was trying to make. Her current recipe was unsafe though, since some parasprites she tested it on promptly exploded, literally, with so much muscle their little bodies couldn’t handle it, gruesome.

But the reason he was in this field? “Geez, you’d think you’d get the rapid aileron by now.” Dash chided as she hovered down to the crashed stallion, who felt absolutely unwilling to pull his horn from the ground and try again.

“Hey Dash, c’mon, be nice. We weren’t pulling ailerons until second year.” Gilda commented as she hovered down and gently grabbed Bronze’s neck, pulling him slowly free of the ground much to his relief, since that position was very painful and hard to move from.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Rainbow grumbled as she pouted and looked angrily at her friend and the colt they were teaching. “I say we put him through the wringer and get him up to shape faster.”

“And I keep telling you Dash, you can’t just throw an egg at a wall and not expect it to break.” Gilda rolled her eyes at her friend’s continued hardcore attitude. There was a time and place for it, and teaching wasn’t it.

“Hey, to be fair, I’m a lot more durable than an egg.” Bronze defended, only to groan as Gilda began rubbing her talon into his neck, she’d been doing that a lot lately….

“Hey, you might as well be.” Gilda oddly said as she opened his wing and ran a talon along the membrane, making Bronze gasp as his other wing popped out at the sensation and a vivid blush overtook him. “I mean, these big, strong wings are attached to such a frail and squishy thing as you.” Bronze tensed when the talon moved to his flank, and squeezed, making him suddenly realize through his thick-headedness that Gilda wasn’t being altruistic. “But that’s getting firmer. We’d better help that~....”

“OH COME ON!” Rainbow suddenly exploded angrily, jolting Gilda out of her reverie and saving the submissive stallion from her advances. “How can you-, why would you-, URGH!” Rainbow suddenly bolted into the sky, leaving a worried Gilda and a still flummoxed and now concerned Bronze.

“Uh...I’m going to go see what her issue is. Take five.” Gilda took off, and Bronze promptly fell over on his side.

“...Again...why am I so damn blind?” This wasn’t a first. Bronze, back when he was Anthon, has had a few girlfriends, all of whom apparently grew romantically attached over time without him realizing it until they did something akin to what Gilda did just now. “That makes four now. Four friends that were interested that I didn’t even notice until I got goosed. I’m such a vapid idiot….”

“Are you guys all just asking to come see me or something?! Vash never really explained how it works.” A loud, irritated male voice shouted out of nowhere, it echoed as if it was inside a stone box, and also ringed in Bronze’s ears, getting him to yelp and cover them with his hooves as he rolled onto his stomach.“Ow! My ears! Hey, whoever’s saying that could you, I don’t know, explain how I’m hearing you?”

“Yeah, how bout you come over here and you explain it to me.” At the words, a Doorway suddenly opened in the air, with a large variant of Bronze’s nose ring as the knocker, and it opened up to reveal a human standing inside a wood room with odd colors sealing the wood planks together.

'Things just got interesting....'

Author's Note

What's this?! My first post in two months?! I'm back! Hopefully. Life is still nuts. I hate nuts. Unless they're peanuts.

Bronze has been summoned! Because links of ALL kinds are failing to work, I shall laboriously type in the exact story name and chapter title that this story is crossing over into for a couple chapters.

DJ A String's Terrarian Tank. Chapters: Doorways and Diamonds and We're Not Twins, They Are!

Tenchi?! HELP SENPAI~!

A door suddenly burst open in the middle of a field, foaming water gushing out of it. “Must know~! No~!” Bronze cried as he was pulled through via an unknown force, and the water whilst grasping desperately at the doorframe with his hooves, before losing his grip and the door closed behind him, leaving him whining in disappointment in wet grass. “No~ I wanted to meet Vash~!”

Bronze groaned and bemoaned his poor fate of not meeting one of his anime idols soon, and sighed as he had to face his current reality. ‘Okay, back to normal. Like, the fact that Gilda apparently has her ‘eyes on the prize’ and once again, like the damn doofus I am; I was completely blind to it until she grabbed my flank.’

Bronze took a deep, shuddering breath, and blushed. ‘Oh crap...I can’t think of a reason NOT to like it! I...need to talk to AJ and Zecora about this.’ Bronze grunted as he rolled over, and groaned as his aching muscles caught back up with him. ‘Great, wasted Aloe’s massage with all the activity.’

“Bronze!” He sighed and looked up at Rainbow Dash, who swooped down and blinked. “Why are you all wet?”

“I got summoned, ended up fighting two giant eyeball-ghost-cyborg-things, nearly died, and got a spa treatment before coming back. Nothing serious.” Bronze deadpanned, making Dash snort in wry amusement. “So...what’s been going on while I was doing that?”

Dash blinked. “Wait, you’re not joking? I JUST lost Gilda in the clouds to come back and get you to your marefriends before she molests you again.”

“What? But I’ve been fighting and almost dying for almost an hour! Wait, Jeeves, explain.”

"Time and place are irrelevant sir. Being God of Space, you know this."

“Ugh...time shenanigans...great….”

“Look, can we go now? I don’t want Gilda to catch up and try to explain why she’s trying to steal you from my friend.” Dash then grabbed Bronze around his barrel, making him yelp in surprise, before taking off towards Sweet Apple Acres.

“AH~! I STILL HATE HEIGHTS!”

“SUCK IT UP, COLT!”

[(X)]

[? POV]

Nuada was still running through the Everfree forest at top speed, behind him was the rage lusting form of Cinder breaking through trees hot on his tail. Telling her that they couldn’t get married right now was a mistake, it seems. “Someone help me!” Nuada cried.

Clearing the treeline by town, Nuada barely noticed as he ran by ponies, and market stands. Dodging by Applejack with not even a wave, Nuada managed to duck Cinder’s tail as it grabbed at his hair. Nuada’s new GXP communicator beeped repeatedly, the image of a stone golem in a tuxedo appeared in the watch as Nuada kept running.

“Hi this is Nuada, sorry to be rude but I’m in a bind right now, please make it quick,” he said leaping over a cabbage cart only for Cinder to barrel right through it.

“MY CABBAGES!”

“Keep running, take the third door on the left.” A dry English voice answered, like the voice of a veteran butler.

“But that’s somepony’s house-.”

“Fifth door now.”

“Well I needed to see Rarity anyway,” Nuada said as he tossed open the door to Rarity’s and ran in. “WAH~!” Nuada cried as he lost his balance and tumbled head-over heel into a place that WASN’T Rarity’s boutique, the door slamming shut behind him. “Ow. Whoever you are, thanks for the magic door.”

“Hm. A dog. Fitting.” The voice snidely remarked, getting Nuada to growl.

“I am no dog, I am Nuada a proud Jurain and Guardian of Equestria,” Nuada said as he was moving to stand up. “Whoa!” Only to lose his balance and fall back down, and look at himself in shock. “WHERE ARE MY FEET?!”

“Yes, paws are a bit trickier to stand on I hear. You’ll adjust in a moment.” The voice said, getting Nuada to look at the source, and blink at seeing a tall and literally chiseled human-like stone golem with glowing blue energy seeping from the cracks. He wore a full black tuxedo with white underclothes and a black tie. “Take your time, time is meaningless here.”

“Well thanks, considering you turned me into a DIAMOND DOG!” Nuada shouted indignantly as he got on all fours, finding it easier than standing upright for the moment. “Well, I admit, being a dog could be an interesting experience. And if I play it up right, maybe I could pretend to be a normal dog and pee on people I don’t like?” Nuada joked, snorting. “Naw, can’t do that to people.”

“You’re an admittedly rare breed at that. Welsh Sheepdogs are generally local only to the Canida Highlands.” The golem stated as he waited patiently for Nuada to recover.

“Well at least I’m not one of the bulldogs.” He snarked before catching himself. “Sorry about that, never did like shapeshifting. Now then sir what can I do to help you?”

“It is not how you can help me, it is how you can help my Principal.” The golem stated simply.

“What? Why would I need to help the head of a school?” Nuada suddenly felt like he was being looked down upon. Not just literally since he was still on all paws.

“Principal is a term referring to someone whom I serve a directive or assisting role to, who also had a direct hand in my being available to do so.”

“Oh, alright then.” Nuada said, finally standing up on his hind paws, feeling slightly awkward. ‘I’m glad I have this tail, or I’d just fall back onto my forepaws.’ Nuada looked back at his fluffy white and black tail, wagging it with a grin. ‘Oh gosh, I have SUCH an urge to chase it.’

“I am Jeeves. No surname. I have brought you here because my Principal is at a crossroads concerning his polyamorous relationship, and the situation of another wishing to join it. Something you have extensive experience with already.”

“My harem curse is still just starting back there, hence the bind I was in when you called, but I can at least talk it over with him.” ‘Why do I feel so energetic? I mean, dogs always want to run around, but geez I wanna DO something right now.’

“That is precisely the reason I called upon you. My Principal is originally a completely luckless-in-love loser who is more or less absolutely oblivious to any and all romantic scenarios unless the other partner practically jumps him. Which is what has happened in the past. And has happened again. Save that each time he manages to retain his virginity.”

“Ouch a bit harsh description from a butler.” Nuada said trying not play with his tail as he began to fidget, feeling constrained in his clothes, hot, stuffy. ‘Oh gosh, I’m burning up! Wool and fur do NOT go together!’ Nuada began panting, sweat dripping from his tongue. “Hey, uh...you got any cool clothes? I mean-.”

“Here you are.” Suddenly, from nowhere, Jeeves was holding luxurious traditional Neighponese clothes, apparently fitted to his body. Considering the loose dark blue hakama pants would not interfere with his current digitigrade hind legs, and the short-sleeved sky-blue yukata with interspersed white cloud-like splotches had the short sleeves and even looked breathable. “I also have a trunk here with several different styles of this sort of clothing, if you wish it.”

“I would appreciate that, I only got as far as weaving wool, when I took up tailoring as you can see,” Nuada said trying to fan himself with his tunic’s front, only for one of his unbelievably sharp claws to shred it off further. “...Oh right...Diamond Dogs have claws harder than most known minerals for their digging...yeah….”

“Indeed, be careful not to flex-.” Jeeves tried to warn, only for Nuada to suddenly extend four-INCH long blade-like claws from all his fingers, almost stabbing his white-furred chest, getting him to yelp in a very dog-like way. “-Yes, be wary. Diamond Dogs have an uncanny ability to extend an impossible amount of claw from their phalanges.”

“I have claws! Cat scratch? Try dog scratch.” Nuada nervously joked as he tried very carefully to retract his claws. ‘Better not shake any hooves for a bit.’ “I’m just going to go put these on, can I drop the trunk off at-.”

“Done.” The trunk of clothes was gone.

“...Okay. Thank you...uh...I’ll worry how you know where my place is later, oh can you leave a note for Ushio?”

“Already done.”

“Okay...you are reminding me of my Starswirl.”

“I am told that often.”

[@]

“Look, it’s fine.” Applejack insisted to a worried Bronze who was sitting at her dinner table with Big Mac. And Zecora. The mare ate here more often than not lately.

“But she grabbed my flank! Aren’t you worried at all?” Bronze asked, glad that when he brought up the subject gently, that Granny Smith had led Apple Bloom to eat in the living room as she told her some stories.

“If this griffon, grabby she is. Bring her in, some fun will be a whiz.” Zecora joked, getting AJ to blush and Bronze to groan.

“Look, Bronze. Ponies, we just don’t see issue with what you’re havin’ trouble adjustin’ to.” Big Mac said, the mouthful of words common when among family or close friends. Most thought him quiet and reserved. No, he was just shy.

“Ugh...when in Rome they say. Well in Rome, gladiators buttfucked each other. I’m not going that far if I don’t have to.” Bronze said with a roll of his eyes.

“What about Roam?” Big Mac asked. “That sounds about right. Stallions bedded each other as often as mares in the olden days of Roam I hear.”

“ARGH! PUNS!” Bronze pounded his face into his plate of mashed potatoes, trying to contain his laughter as everyone grinned at his usual reaction to what was apparently a pun to his perspective.

“Look sugarcube. Ah’m fine with lettin’ Gilda in on the group, if she’s willin’ to share like such a thing works.”

“But that’s the thing!” Bronze’s muffled voice came from the high-piled plate of mashed potatoes (Granny Smith insisted he ‘bulk up’). “I thought Rainbow Dash and Gilda were a thing!” Everyone was stunned quiet, and Bronze blinked at them as he pulled his face from the potatoes, most of it clinging to his face anyway. “I may be oblivious to my own romantic situations, but I am keenly aware of other’s.”

“Dash is a filly-fooler? Never thought she was like that.” AJ then blushed. “Oh...uh...well now that Ah think ‘bout it...she may have been flirtin’ with me quite a bit and Ah just completely missed it….” AJ was remembering a few times Dash convinced her to work out together. “Uh...no, she was definitely flirtin’ with me...holdin’ that reverse-pony pose that long wasn’t really necessary….”

“Rainbow Dash can bend backwards? Mm...now I cannot stop thinking of seeing her afterwards….” Zecora teased AJ, who huffed in annoyance.

“ANYWAY!” Bronze interjected, thinking of his friend like that was NOT what he wanted and-’GREAT! Now I can’t get a flexible Rainbow out of my head!’ “This is about Gilda!”

“Can she hold a reverse-pony?” Big Mac asked curiously, getting a new image in Bronze’s head, making him growl and shove his face into his potatoes again as his wings stiffened out. “Ah’ll take that as a maybe.”

“Um, hey?” The new voice that spoke alerted everyone and they looked to see a well-dressed fluffy-furred and rather lithe black and white diamond dog, having entered from the pantry. “Is someone named Bronze Brave here?”

“That would be the fella with his face fulla mash.” Big Mac helpfully commented.

“Wow never thought I’d see a male alicorn, let alone one that was such a messy eater,” Nuada remarked.

“The potatoes help hide the shame.” Bronze said sullenly as he extended his long bat-like tongue and swept all of the mash into his mouth like Pinkie does cake.

“What, that you can’t handle three mares let alone two? Or the fact you’re a virgin?” Asked the intruding dog as he closed the pantry behind him.

“All of the above. I can’t handle even ONE mare.” Bronze grumbled, getting Applejack to sigh.

“He won’t listen to me when Ah say he can definitely handle us, at least emotionally...wait, WHO ARE YA?!” AJ snapped at the dog in her house, realizing an intruder had just walked in through her pantry…. “Oh. Did that rude varmint Jeeves toss ya in here?”

“Yes he did, seems he saw my plight with too many females wanting me, and wants me to share my insight with Bronze here,” Nuada stated crossing his arms, his tail slightly wagging. Then he sniffed the air, and his ears perked. “Uh...what’s that smell-.”

*YIP!*

“Oh~ she’s adorable!” Nuada cried out when Winona ran into the dining room, and she jumped up into his arms and began licking his face. “I love dogs!”

“Well it would be strange if not. For if your own kind you hate, your life’s worth is naught.” Zecora said sagely, and Bronze nodded with a sigh. He hated his own kind for a long time before Equestria.

“My own kind? Oh right sorry, introductions; my name is Nuada Lugh, Guardian of my Equestria, Jurain warrior, and one of the Displaced,” Nuada stated, motioning for Winona to sit as he stood.

“*PINKIE GASP~* JURAI?! YOU’RE A TENCHI MUYO DISPLACED?! EEEEE~!” Bronze burst from his seat at the speed of derp, and tackled Nuada into the pantry. “DO YOU KNOW TENCHI?! HAVE YOU MET RYOKO?!”

“Please get off.” Nuada said shoving at Bronze, launching him across the room casually. “No, and sorta. I think I might meet them one day though.”

“Oh, okay. You got a tenchi? Alternate universe variant of a lightsaber?” Bronze asked from his spot on the floor across the room.

“Yes, I have a master key, not showing you it right now. You’re too light, you need to bulk up.” Nuada was surprised how easily he tossed the alicorn across the room, on accident at that.

“I used to be 12 feet tall and a wall of muscle. I’m kinda trying to get at least some of that back.” Bronze smirked self-deprecatingly. “I’m not going to go Bulk Biceps level though. I kinda want to be able to reach back and actually touch my flanks without muscles blocking movement.”

“I don’t know this Bulk Biceps but from his name I gather he is a body builder-.”

“-And my personal trainer.”

“Right, good to hear. Also, more proteins. But we are getting off topic and I think your marefriends are getting confused.” Nuada said pointing to AJ and Zecora.

“Ah’ve more or less given up on tryin’ to wrap my noggin around most of the shenanigans my coltfriend ends up in.” AJ dismissed.

“Wise it would be to ignore some things. Otherwise it would be hard to accept his rings.” Zecora said with a shrug.

“Well yeah though, we’d better move this conversation somewhere-.”

“Hey! Bronze!” Bronze suddenly bolted under the table, hiding in the darkness with his black coat, his silvery mane and tail ruining it though. “I wanna apologize okay! What I pulled back there was a totally dweeb move!” A scratchy female voice shouted in through a nearby window, which Nuada saw was a griffon hen hovering outside.

“Gilda I take it?” Nuada asked while petting Winona, calmly ignoring the shaking alicorn under the table.

“Yeah that’s her. Gilda, come inside! Ah’m not gonna buck you one for gropin’ mah stallion if’n ya’ll jus’ come n’ sit a while!” AJ blushed and cleared her throat. “Jus’, git in here!”

“Do not fret Applejack. If need be, drop the rhymes I shall.” Zecora soothed her apparently nervous marefriend.

“No hooves up my keister?!” Gilda asked with a shout.

“Eenope!” Big Mac actually raised his voice, and picked up his empty plate with a polite nod as he took his dishes to the kitchen for washing.

“Okay...coming in!” Gilda called back inside, and the back door soon opened revealing the griffon, who looked under the table at the futily hiding Bronze. “I...I can come back later if he isn’t willing to listen….”

“‘Brave’ here is just fishing around for a dropped fork, however I hate to ask but I need his attention for a few minutes, maybe you and the ladies here can talk things over for a few minutes?” Nuada suggested scooping Bronze up and tossing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

[@]

“Look, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had ANY relationship issues before! I’ve only had three girlfriends before. ALL of them were friends, who decided to go further, and had to push me against a wall and kiss me or something to get my attention. I’m a total submissive too, so I don’t know if I could even survive having a herd.” Bronze said as he paced in front of the green couch that Nuada had sat on in the living room. Granny Smith had ushered Apple Bloom up to bed a short bit ago, so it was convenient.

“Well I’ve still never had an official girlfriend, and I was around twenty before being sent to my Equestria, where I was older brother to my Celestia and Luna for over a hundred years. But all that stuff in the past is pointless really, even if we’re both virgins.” Nuada said not impressed.

“Yeah. But in Your position, your issues were expected right?” Bronze asked, getting a sigh and a nod out of Nuada. “I wasn’t expecting anything! I was just, trying to go with the flow, do things my way. When suddenly: AJ decides she wants to be my marefriend out of a shared mutual attraction and that we both admired each other’s sense of Honesty. Then my world blew up! Then I lost several hundred pounds of body mass and turned into a FUCKING ALICORN! I’m basically my own damn son! I mean, this body? I’m basically what minotaur me and Luna would’ve had if we got busy and-”

*CLANG!* A random shovel materialized from thin air and struck Nuada in the face.

“Great, whatever. So yeah. I’m basically Luna’s son-!”

*CLANG!* and another shovel formed and split Nuada’s nose open, and dazed him.

“Would you quit it?! I’m finally venting my frustration on someone who won’t take offense to the idea that I’m royalty because I’m Luna’s bastard-!”

*CLANG!* “Stop saying her name damn it!” Nuada said nursing his snout.

“Sis? Why does mentioning sis cause shovels to materialize and hit you? Oh, thanks by the way, AJ said she needed some more shovels.” Bronze commented as he weakly levitated the spawned shovels into the corner away from any entrances or the front door.

“A gift from a new friend of mine, short story is Luna turned evil and betrayed-”

*CLANG!*

“These usually vanish after hitting me.” Nuada stated trying to distract himself from painful thoughts.

“Oh. You mean Nightmare. I laid a smackdown on her, freed my sis, absorbed the Nightmare’s power, and ended up filtering Nightmare’s power back into her and even Tia. You should see them, I bet they look way different compared to the ones you know.” Bronze said excitedly, wording somehow that Nuada didn’t even tie Luna in.

“Maybe another time, let us focus on your immediate problem. Specifically that you have a bunch a mares and a hen after your tail,” Nuada said doing his best to shift focus.

“Well, yeah. But the main issue isn’t just that I have trouble adjusting to the idea, but because I was damn sure that-.”

“WHAT?!” Gilda screeched from the dining room, followed by crashing and the sound of a door being slammed open along with wild wing flaps made Bronze and Nuada practically warp into the room, only to see a flummoxed AJ, an amused Zecora, and a torn-up room leading to a ruined and hanging-open back door.

“Girls, what just happened?” Nuada asked barely glancing up from the couch.

“Well, Gilda was waxin’ poetic ‘bout why she was so heated over Bronze….” AJ blushed deeply, making Bronze blush at wondering just what the griffon had said that incited that sort of reaction.

“Her reasons were quite persuasive. However, I felt important the news of Rainbow Dash’s feelings evasive. And so when I did tell, I believe she took it well.”

“Well?” Bronze asked incredulously. “She tore up AJ’s dining room! How is that taking it well?!”

“Considerin’ the blush through her feathers and her stiff wings? Really well.” Applejack insisted. “She looked about ready to pounce upon hearin’ that, an’ Ah don’t mean in a dangerous way.”

“Well that takes care of part of your problem I think.” Nuada said smirking. “Atleast if Rainbow Dash feels the same.”

“Ah doubt that.” AJ commented. “Her reasons are real convincing...and kinda make my reasons for wanting Bronze be added to.”

“What did she say?!” Bronze asked in aghast shock, his wings fluttering slightly in anticipation.

“Afraid I am that such a thing is not for us to tell. If you truly must know, you must ask the hen as well.” Zecora grinned, but the way she wagged her brows just made Bronze snort in annoyance and weakly and childishly stomped his way out of the room.

“First piece of advice, what a mare not in your herd thinks of you is irrelevant, unless you want her to join you all.” Nuada said, petting Winona as she jumped back up into his arms as he followed the flustered and annoyed alicorn.

“Yeah, IF it didn’t make your current herd mates even MORE interested in you!” Bronze complained, sighing. “If Gilda’s reasons aligned or enhanced my current marefriend’s reasons, then knowing would’ve been better than not knowing...also, I kinda have NO clue why ANYPONY-er, anyONE, would find ME of all ponies, attractive.”

“Personality, and last I checked Alicorns can’t be ugly. So yeah you are in the same boat as I. Going to have learn to roll with it,” Nuada pointed out.

“So all the girls will want my plot just because I’m an Alicorn? But ponies can barely see these things against my hide when they’re folded.” Bronze flapped his wings and folded them back in, the black on black making seeing them rather difficult. “And both AJ and Zecora knew me as a minotaur before I ascended, so that can’t be it. Save for Gilda’s reasons.”

“Personality, you forgot to take that into account, if you were like that jerk Kagato even being attractive would not help you. The fact you have what I am told is a nice personality, and ponies know who you are and can associate your good deeds with a face. The harem curse takes two parts to work and you have them both,” Nuada explained.

“Great...great...thanks. I guess I’ve just gotta roll with the punches then? Please remember the punches are composed of hardened enamel and not fleshy fists.” Bronze bemoaned his apparently harem-cursed fate, and decided to flop onto his side on the green and white circular rug of the living room.

“Oh I know, Jeeves pulled me out of a chase with Cinder, a succubus pony who can level mountains. And while I may have been running from her, that was because I didn’t want to give her any more reason to like me. Darn masochists.” Nuada said shivering.

“...Wait...did Jeeves spawn the Doorway in the air, or use an existing one?” Bronze asked worriedly, considering he knew how his power worked, and the latter wouldn’t go well if he was being chased by a mountain-leveling demoness.

“Oh shit shit shit.” Nuada said panicking, “I ducked into Rarity’s.”

“Oh, Rarity. You’re doomed dawg. Unless you give her fancy clothes she’s never worked with before or something, you’re in the doghouse with her for a while.” Bronze said...then snorted, and started laughing. “OH MY GOG! I wasn’t even trying to do that~!” Bronze yelled, laughing so hard his long bat-like tongue rolled out a foot and a half away from his lips onto the floor as he tried to hug his barrel. “My ribs! My ribs~!”

“Man I was going to get her help with a new tux, so screwed now. Wait, your guy Jeeves gave me some Neighponese silk. That guy is good.” Nuada said, calming down.

“Lucky you. Well, thanks for the talk, I needed this. Sure, I still have to deal with whatever it was Gilda told my marefriends but-.”

“I SMELL DOG!”

“SO RARE!”

“NOT BULLDOG!”

Nuada felt an ominous aura approaching the farmhouse, and every hair on his body stood on end, “Diamond dogs.” Then he blinked, and looked at the adorable dog in his arms, who fluttered her eyes at him with a vicious grin. “You adorable little traitor….”

*yip!*

“Sorry Bronze, gotta go. My Curse plagues me!” Nuada suddenly set Winona down and ran into the dining room, pounding three times on the door. “Jeeves! JEEVES! EVAC!”

“HE'S IN HERE!”

“GET HIM!”

“OH GOD NO!” Suddenly, Nuada saw a glimpse of a female bulldog DD jump into the open back door, only for him to be yanked through the Doorway and into the remains of a house, the trunk that Jeeves had said was sent to his home was instead next to his snout. “Ow...a note?”

This should be adequate compensation to the seamstress for the damage, another trunk with similar clothing was delivered to your home as promised.

P.S. Look up.

Nuada looked up and saw Cinder and Rarity glaring at him. “Dog or not, you’re still mine Nuada.” She looked him over. “Especially if that tongue does what other demons say it can.”

“And I looked in the chest, that’s not enough to forgive you with, I expect a few shopping trips with you as my mule will do.” Rarity huffed. “And you will allow me to try and copy your fur’s texture if it’s wonderful in any way.”

With a sigh Nuada resigned himself to his fate, glad at least Cinder had had time to calm down. “This form is temporary, and any wedding will be a while away.”

“That’s fine I’m sure we can work something out.” She said in a sultry voice, turning back to Rarity with a joyful expression. “Now, we were talking gowns?”

“Oh yes darling! I think a nice black gown rather than white would go with your natural color. Especially if we emphasized the shape of your body rather than hide it like a mourning gown.” Rarity said as she and Cinder trotted to the intact stairs, leaving Nuada to sulk in his misery.

“Stupid Tenchi….”

Author's Note

Alright! Finally, after his return from helping Richard fight The Twins in Terrarian Tank, Bronze is instantly forced to face a situation he has no experience with.

Avatar of Tenchi, original master of the Harem genre, to the rescue~!

This was a crossover with DemonWolf's No need for Equestria.

Yay, got links to work~!

Where's a Dovahkiin when you Need One?!

‘How did it come to this?’ Bronze asked himself in a silent panic.

He was sitting in the inside of a corner booth at Sugarcube Corner. On both sides of him were AJ and Zecora. But on the outer ends of the booth, nervously twitching their wings and glancing up from the table at each other and at the other three were Rainbow Dash and Gilda. It seemed that among the five of them, only AJ and Zecora actually wanted to be here.

“Well are ya gonna just ruffle yer feathers or are ya gonna actually talk about what we’re here about?” Applejack decided to butt into the situation, considering the group had already been sitting here in awkward silence for several minutes. Not even Pinkie bothered them, and when Pinkie actually goes out of her way to not pester somepony? Things be serious.

“Well sorry if my cubhood friend having the hots for me is a sensitive issue!” Gilda bit back, grumbling as she blushed and tried not to look at Dash who wilted. “I told ya last night Dash. Having more-than-friends feelings for old pals is normal, kay? I just don’t fly that way.”

“But hesitate telling us your feelings for Bronze you did not, but to have such would include us as well, were your words for naught?” Zecora asked with a raised eyebrow as she gestured to herself and AJ, getting Gilda to bow her head with a sigh.

“No...I figured if the cool colt was in the group then I could learn to love other kinds of things. But then I was told Dashie liked me that way and I got confused and...okay, I’m still confused. Dash, I just...don’t know what to really think about all of this.” Gilda complained as she started to whine.

“Hey, hey. Cool gals don’t whine kay G? I’ll just back off if that’s what you want….” Dash meekly offered, and Gilda groaned.

“I...don’t want that either. Flock! I can’t decide!” Gilda stabbed her beak into the table in her rendition of a #headdesk. “Mmph hm, frmph hmm.”

“Yeah...I hear ya G.” Dash then performed her own #headdesk and they both sighed into the table.

“Whatcha-Doin?” Pinkie suddenly asked, interrupting at the perfect time as she popped up from under the table between Bronze and AJ.

“Nothing important that we can take care of at the moment apparently.” Bronze said as he looked between the two old friends in worry. ‘Last time I set a couple up, I just dragged the guy to the girl and said ‘hey! this guy likes you! chat.’ and then left them be. I can’t just do something like that here...or can I?’

“Well are you worry-warts gonna buy something? Or am I going to have to ask you to have free cupcakes?” Pinkie Pie asked as she held up magic mane-cupcakes. Mmm, cupcakes from Pinkie’s mane…. “You know you want some~!”

“Pinkie, stop tempting Bronze with your sultry baked goods.” Applejack joked with a snigger, getting Bronze to blush as he edged away from Pinkie Pie. Remembering all the times he had far less than innocent thoughts about her. Thoughts AJ and Zecora were well aware of.

“Aw. But I wanted him to munch my muffin!” Pinkie said as she took out a mane-muffin, and making Bronze sink back into the seat to restrain his wings attempting to ‘fwoomp’ out. “I mean, he could take it from his spot there! His tongue is long enough-.” Gilda’s and Dash’s wings both fwoomped out, their faces bright red at Pinkie’s words, AJ and Zecora having similarly flushed faces, and Bronze...wasn’t there anymore.

“It would seem our beau has ran, then again of teasing, he is not a fan.” Zecora said, leering at Pinkie who blinked innocently.

“What? I wanted to see him munch on this muffin using his tongue to snag it from over a foot away like a frog, or an anteater. OOO! Or a giraffe! I hear they have long tongues!” Pinkie started rambling, getting everyone at the table to groan.

[@]

Bronze was far from Sugarcube Corner, having swapped himself with air from near Fluttershy’s house to escape the disturbing situation, where he promptly laid on the ground and covered his head with his forelegs. “Stupid. Sexy. Pinkie Pie! Stop! TEMPTING me!”

“Tempting you with what Bronze?” Came the gentle voice of Fluttershy as the kind and pretty mare fluttered from her place among her birdhouses over to her clearly troubled friend.

“Hey Shy. Ugh, it’s Pinkie. I can’t tell if she’s flirting pervertedly with me or not again.” Bronze grumbled, making Fluttershy blink and consider his words.

“Well, Pinkie can often not notice things. So maybe she just didn’t phrase something right?” Fluttershy suggested, and Bronze stood, looked blankly at her, and blushed before he slowly extended his long fruit-bat tongue out for it’s full foot and a half length, getting her to vividly blush and lean away. “O-oh...my….”

“She pointed out my tongue. And that got everyone else, including Gilda, blushing. Why does every mare who find out about my tongue get so interested?” Bronze asked his shy friend, who meekly backed away a bit, and kicked a hoof as she tried to muster up the answer for her oblivious friend.

“Uh-um...it’s...very...long….” Fluttershy weakling said, Bronze only hearing her due to his bat-like hearing.

“And what does that have to do with...oh….” Bronze’s wings went pomf, and he sighed. “I thought they were just teasing me for having such a weird tongue.”

“O-oh no! It’s a wonderful tongue. You shouldn’t be ashamed of who or what you are.” Fluttershy rebounded, poking out her cute little tongue. “See? It’s okay to...why are you laughing?” Fluttershy asked as Bronze was failing to stifle his sniggers at his friend’s suddenly equally clueless-as-him behavior.

“Nothing Shy. Just...never change.” Bronze chuckled at her tilted head and perplexed expression.

“Oh no, I’ll never change. Don’t worry about that Bronze.” Fluttershy said with a soft smile, before a half-eaten carrot was thrown at her head, knocking her eyes askew for a second before she turned to the perpetrator, and the instant Bronze saw him, he saw RED.

“...Bunny….” Bronze and Angel Bunny instantly had a raging hate-filled glare-off to epic music, until Fluttershy ruined it by kneeling down to him. ‘I will have my revenge for you scaring my dogs you lapin loser!’

“Angel, what is it? Was your food not fresh enough?” Fluttershy asked worriedly, before Angel bitch-slapped her, and pointed up into the air, making her gasp and drawing Bronze’s attention upwards too, where they both gawked. “You mean there’s a giant smoke cloud spreading across the sky?” The carrot hit Fluttershy again, and she squeed in embarrassment at not noticing it earlier.

“Hm...it’s gotta be coming from either a ridiculously enormous forest-fire like the one I saw back home, or it’s source is at a really high altitude.” Bronze suggested, watching the smoke trail as it rather quickly began to blanket the sky, and his keen thestral eyes thanked the smoke for blocking out the sun as he kept trailing it through the sky to a mountain far, far to the northwest. “So that’s where the source is. Volcano?”

“What’s a volcano?” Fluttershy asked as she tried not to panic, using Bronze’s relative calm to anchor herself.

“Geological event and a wonder of nature. Volcanoes are basically...teats, on the earth-Terra’s...crust. Only rather than a gland of milk, it’s instead a series of similar ducts and ‘vents’ leading deep into the planet, feeding the molten heat of the mantle as magma to the surface where it becomes lava, thickening and generating the crust.” Bronze explained, using more organic explanations for his more biology-smart friend, who blinked in understanding.

“So...why would that cause smoke?” Fluttershy asked, getting bronze to sigh at himself for not specifying that first.

“Lava is basically liquid fire as much as it is liquid rock.” Bronze said, getting Fluttershy to go ‘oh’ in understanding.

“I’m sorry I’m not as smart as Twilight, I’m sure you could easily plainly talk about things like that with her rather than try to find analogies for ponies like me who only had basic education.” Fluttershy bashfully kicked a hoof, and Bronze groaned at this. Most of his friends knew he was smart. Apparently, he was nearly Twilight smart, and he didn’t like the rift that caused sometimes. Especially since his knowledge was all theory and in random or esoteric information rather than being especially intelligent in a specific or many fields like Twilight is.

“Shy, c’mon, don’t do this. I have enough of Rainbow calling me an egghead and my marefriends looking at me like I’m speaking a different language. Can we just...go into town and see what the issue is rather than me rationalize the potential issue?” ‘Damn my high IQ sometimes….’ Bronze lamented as he and Fluttershy flew into town.

It wasn’t hard to notice the average intelligence of a pony was rather...lacking. Sure, they were smart enough to carry conversations, make great friends, and live normal lives. But when it came to any matters of actual intelligence? Average was the closest word to describe most ponies. Negligent of their studies also applied to that same category…. If it fell outside their interests, ponies knew little to nothing of a subject. Something both he and Twilight felt needed to be addressed.

“We should go see Twilight, maybe she knows what’s going on better than anypony.” Fluttershy suggested as she fluttered down towards the Golden Oaks treebrary. Upon arrival, Shy approached the door, and held up a hoof to knock...and gently, nearly silently, tapped the door a few times.

“...Shy, are you reading any of those self-help books Twi and I got for you?” Bronze asked, making the mare blush in shame as she meekly shook her head, getting him to sigh as he moved to the door and pulled it open. “Hey Twi! We got a situation!” Bronze called out as he blinked and took in the absolutely pristine library. “Twilight?” Bronze called out, and he heard some scrambling upstairs as Twilight soon poked her head out of the hallway up the stairs, her mane an absolute bedraggled mess.

“H-hey Bronze! What’s the problem?” Twilight asked a little too frantically, using her magic to straighten out her mane upon realizing it was a rumpled mess.

“Were you taking a nap?” Bronze asked in surprise.

“Yes! That! I was taking a nap! Got the mid-morning sleep-in bug. Yep!” Twilight pounced on the excuse, getting Bronze to raise an eyebrow suspiciously. “S-so what’s going on?”

“I’d ask you the same thing, but whatever you do in your private-time is your business.” Bronze said, making the scholar blush so hard her lavender coat turned ruby red. ‘Totally called it.’ “But there’s a huge smoke cloud spreading over the lower troposphere and blocking out the sun. I like it, but it’s got to be causing at least a mild panic across the region.”

“What? But if there was a forest-fire of that magnitude, the local weather patrols would’ve organized a deluge and taken care of it already. And there aren’t any volcanoes in Equestria proper….” Twilight mused as she moved back into the hall, knocking on a door. “Spike? Spike, are you awake?”

Things got quiet for a moment, Bronze and Fluttershy looking at each other with a shrug, before Twilight screeched in absolute horror. “AH! T-Twilight! I can explain!”

“YOU’RE TOO YOUNG FOR MAGAZINES LIKE THESE!” Twilight shrieked, making both of the winged ponies blush and also look at each other with pity towards the young drake.

“I’m 14!” Spike desperately defended.

“You’re still a baby physically! I...I need to ask Celestia, you, are grounded for now young drake!” Twilight stated, causing Spike to whine. “Now send this letter. I know what you’re doing is natural, but...I just don’t think you should be having thoughts like those at this age.”

“Twi, I’m mentally older than most ponies my age. Blame the fact that ponies around my age are already experiment-*BELCH*-phew...big scroll, and a smaller one.” After Spike’s words, both Bronze and Fluttershy could practically feel the tension rise.

“BRONZE!” Twilight screamed, before teleporting in front of the stallion and looking him closely in the eyes with panic.

“What?!” Bronze asked as he backed away from the sudden invasion of his personal space.

“A dragon. A REALLY big dragon, is the cause of this!” Twilight shouted, and Bronze blinked.

“...Aaaaand?” Bronze asked for her to clarify, and suddenly the large scroll he just noticed floating next to her was opened in front of him.

The resounding girly scream of utter horror of the Son of the Night was spoken of in hushed whispers for decades.

[@]

“I AM NOT LEAVING THIS CAVE! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!” Bronze childishly squealed as he clung upside-down with all his limbs, wings included, to a stalactite on the roof of a cave found not-too-far from Fluttershy’s house within the Everfree. Were it not for Twilight and Rarity’s spawned orbs of magical light and his shaggy silver mane and tail, along with the light glinting off of his bronze nose ring, seeing him would’ve been nearly impossible.

“Bronze! Princess Celestia’s plan to deal with the dragon needs you in order for it to work!” Twilight pleaded with the cowering stallion. The rest of her group of friends, sans Zecora, were all gathered in the cave that Celestia had indicated would be the perfect place to relocate the dragon using Bronze’s godly spacial manipulation powers. Which was originally why they came out here so both Twilight and Bronze could memorize the location.

However, Bronze’s Bravery seemed to only extend to the here-and-now rather than what loomed on the horizon if it was avoidable, as he suddenly snapped and took to playing out the bat part of his physiology. “Sis can levitate him across the sky if she wanted! Either of them could! Why make me do it?!” Bronze pleaded as he shivered against the upside-down cone of a rock formation.

“Because Princess Celestia is meeting with the griffon ambassadors and can’t deal with it personally since it would display our country’s inability to handle a crisis without her. And Princess Luna is in Saddle Arabia on her cultural enrichment world-tour.” Twilight informed calmly.

‘Of all things for mom-SIS, to listen to me about, it had to be my suggestion for her to go on a world tour to get reacquainted with it.’ Bronze lamented his mom’s-SISTER’S absence. And that was another thing. Ever since his proverbial and literal rebirth, Bronze had to accept that he was now Luna’s, and his own even; son. Luna’s constant regular visits, even popping in during her current world tour, were clearly becoming evident that she’s seeing him more as a son and not a sibling, which Celestia was obviously overjoyed about with her starting to take the role of a doting aunt rather than a loving sister, and he apparently needed to get ready to start meeting his cousins.

That said, the public had already connected the dots, and already considered him Luna’s son in the public eye. So. That meant he really did have to do this, didn’t it? ‘Damn me, damn me and my sense of responsibility….’ Bronze whimpered as he slowly let go of the incredibly high-up rock formation, and flipped into a swooping dive before giving a powerful flap of his wings and landing among his friends, the Elements of Harmony, who were all fully prepared to head out. Including Fluttershy. Who had donned an adorably out-of-place hoofball uniform.

“Okay...I need one of you to bind my wings so I don’t try to fly away. And another to keep me from trying to run.” Bronze said shakily as he continuously shivered in fear.

[@]

“I DON’T WANNA DIE~!” Bronze wept as AJ dragged him up a slope using a robe she’d tied around his neck as a leash. The lightweight stallion easy for the mare to pull up the steep slope. “AJ! Please! Save me-he-he~!”

“Ah don’t know if Ah’m let down by yer actin’, or if Ah’m gonna laugh.” AJ snorted through the rope in her teeth, both annoyed and amused at her coltfriend’s behavior. She had no doubt that he could easily handle this issue, but with his wings bound and too frantic to be carried up by Dash or even Fluttershy who was oddly taking this better than him, they had to climb up the mountain instead.

“Don’t worry Bronze. I know that with all of us, you especially, that mean old dragon won’t be a problem.” Fluttershy soothed as she stayed next to her panicking friend. While she felt like panicking herself, Fluttershy couldn’t take that somepony she knew who was very, very Brave, was so scared out of his wits. Thus she tried to help him out as best she could. Because in her eyes, the fact that he was even willing to force himself to go in spite of his fear was an amazingly Brave thing.

“I’ve fought and killed a hydra, but dragons were always considered the worst thing in mythology to face! Sure, Spike is a cool little dude, but that’s because he was raised in a supportive and loving environment! Who here knows anything about natural-born and raised dragons?!” Bronze demanded, getting Twilight to visibly scrunch in on herself at the head of the group. “I WANNA GO HOME~!”

“Ugh! I swear, if I didn't’ know you secretly had bronze balls dude, I’d just consider this pathetic!” Dash complained as she hovered over the group with a pout.

“Whilst unbecoming of a Prince. I agree with Fluttershy that he can indeed put this rude smoke-snoring dragon in his place...in his new home at that.” Rarity said as she discretely looked at some sketches she had, and looked back at the failing-to-drag-himself-away Bronze, and she clicked her tongue. “Putting on muscle still, can’t bother measuring now.”

“I think this is hilarious! Bronze has punched Black Snooty in the schnoz and killed a hydra by smashing in it’s spine! Just warping a dragon to his new sleeping place should be easy-peasy!” Pinkie giggled as she pronked onward as she usually did.

“Be that as it may, Bronze’s fears are very realistic. Now let’s just be quiet on the way up.” Twilight said back at the group, feeling horrible about dragging Bronze up the mountain. At this point, she was wondering if a real friend would have let him go, or helped him face his fears? It was something to ask Celestia about.

[@]

“Well...here we are….” Twilight awkwardly said to the group. They made it up without much trouble, especially when they hit an avalanche zone and Bronze practically just curled into a ball, muttering ‘hi grandma’ over and over for some reason. Oh! Twilight remembered. His mother’s maiden name is Roch. Funny.

“L-let’s just get this over with….” Bronze whimpered as he shivered in his spot, trying in vain to calm down. “Get it together Bronze...what sort of name is Brave if you don’t face your fears?” Bronze muttered, his nose ring and cutie mark glowing blue and his eyes shimmering as he stopped shivering. “Thank you girls. I wouldn’t have been able to work up the courage to make the trek on my own on such short notice. But now that I’m here, let’s just get this done.”

“Alright, I would suggest one of us go with you, but even I can’t possibly be of any help with the degree of spatial manipulation you’re going to be doing.” Twilight said as the others all looked at each other.

“Shy.” Bronze said, getting the mare to blink. “I want you to come in there with me.”

Suddenly, Fluttershy’s eyes shrank to pinpricks, her wings clamped to her sides hard enough for the feathers to creak, and her whole body started quaking just as Bronze had been just moments before. “W-w-w-w-why?”

“For the exact same reason as I need to go in there. C’mon. Nothing will happen Shy.” Bronze said as he walked up to her, extending a wing and pushed her around and forward with a meek ‘eep’ from her as his wing comfortingly pressed against her withers. “Don’t worry Shy. If anything does happen, I can warp us halfway across the region if I need too.”

For some reason, Fluttershy had stopped shivering, and now it seemed her whole face was red with a vicious blush, and Bronze couldn’t figure out that odd reaction. “B-b-b-b-Bronze? Um...I-I don’t...think about you in that way….”

Now it was Bronze’s turn to have a raging flush. “Wh-where did this come from?”

“Y-your wing...you’re….” Fluttershy hinted as she continued to walk forward with him, and he quickly removed his wing from her back.

“S-sorry...I don’t know about these things.” Bronze admitted, but Fluttershy didn’t move away as she gave a friendly nuzzle.

“It’s alright Bronze. I was just caught off-guard. Pegasi don’t wing-hug anypony but those incredibly close to them, and it usually means family members or lovers.” Fluttershy explained, before looking back forward and freezing up, Bronze pausing with her to look forward himself, and sigh quietly out his nose at the sight of the snoozing red and yellow dragon surrounded by his hoard of gold, gems, and various other fancy things.

“Relax Shy, I got this.” Bronze soothed, before getting a determined expression. “HEY! PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON!” Bronze shouted with the Royal Caps Lock, getting the dragon to snort. “WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Bronze then swapped the air over the dragon with a huge volume of water from Saddle Lake from just outside Ponyville, waking the giant reptile with sputters and coughs while Fluttershy was gaping at the scene in disbelief.

“WHO DARES TO-?!”

“ME! YOU INCONSIDERATE LAYABOUT!” Bronze continued to keep his angry facade and the Royal Canterlot Tone active, getting the now-awake dragon to blink, and realize that the pony in front of him was an alicorn, thus stalling his instinctive desire to lash out at the intruders. “Your snoring is causing smoke to cover the sky! I don’t mind, but my family up on the Canterhorn and everypony else does! So! Here’s how this is going down! I am going to warp you and your entire hoard to a new cave that isn’t so high your snoring will disperse over a wide area and block out the sky! Got it?!”

“U-um...okay?” The dragon replied, not realizing this nice cave he found would be problematic at all, let alone get the big ponies in charge upset with him.

“Now Bronze! That was just rude!” Fluttershy surprisingly spoke up with a disappointed gaze in her eyes, before she flew up to the bewildered dragon. “I’m sorry if my friend was offensive. He’s had a very bad day, and we were supposed to get you to move anyway….”

“Oh, well aren’t you a precious thing?” The dragon said surprisingly gently, as he sniffed Fluttershy, who only just realized she was so close to a DRAGON and instinctively stilled as best she could in the air. “You are a nice pony. If it was you who just asked, I might have just moved my home myself.”

“R-really? I mean, you wouldn’t just burn me, or eat me, or-or make me part of your hoard like all the stories say?” Fluttershy asked, and the dragon chuckled as Bronze sat down and smiled at the interaction.

[@]

“He was a very nice dragon.” Fluttershy finished her story to the girls as the group were sitting around a cafe table since Bronze warped them all back to town once he and Fluttershy had left the cave unscathed.

“So all those nasty things about dragons were just the meanie-pants?” Pinkie asked excitedly as Twilight was reviewing the notes she had taken from Fluttershy’s tale.

“Oh yes. Durgo was very insistent that only the ‘bad eggs’ went on rampages. Most dragons apparently just don’t see any reason to bother others so long as nopony goes out of their way to bother them.” Fluttershy restated.

“I didn’t know ya had it in ya Shy! Hoof-bump!” Dash cheered, leaning over the table towards her meek friend, who giggled gently and softly pressed her hoof to Rainbow’s, getting the prismatic mare to laugh at how her friend could talk to a dragon, but not even give a proper hoof-bump.

“I must say though Bronze. You’re quite the bold and vulgar one when you’re facing your fears. Not quite the behavior of a prince, but perhaps one of a hero regardless.” Rarity commented, getting Bronze to chuckle weakly as he scratched the back of his neck.

“I may be polite, but everypony’s got their breaking points. For me it’s things that are either beyond my control, or things I desperately do not want to be doing.” Bronze said as he sighed. “Dash. Go on a date with Gilda.”

“W-what?!” Rainbow balked, the sudden change of topic catching her completely blindsided.

“Take her on a date. Don’t even call it one if you don’t want to. Hang out with her in a more personal setting than just ‘chilling’ or ‘hanging’ see if that gets her motor running.” Bronze insisted, and Dash blushed as she tried to hide behind her scruffy mane like Fluttershy does. “Do it or I’ll play third-wheel.”

“Okay! Buck! You are so heavy-hoofed, you know that?” Dash tried to shout, only for her voice to crack and almost turn it into a wet rasp.

“Sometimes. A car needs a push. Wheels need grease. And ponies need to have a riding crop taken to the flanks.” Bronze snorted, ignoring how absolutely everypony in earshot, his friends included, gawked at him with blushes. “Yeah. I went there. Now if you ladies will excuse me...I have a hole to go crawl into and cry about screaming at a dragon at the top of my lungs.” Bronze then warped away to Durgo’s former cave, and began screaming in delayed panic.

Author's Note

Bronze Brave's Talent: Bravery in the Face of Adversity.

That dragon? Totally avoidable and thus does not apply :rainbowlaugh:

Um..This is...Actually my First Sleepover....

It had been about a week. Bronze was now considered to be medically capable of properly taking care of himself without necessary supervision. That said, Bronze quickly set out to claim a place of his own where he could crash without feeling like he was imposing on anypony, and his mansion in the Void wasn’t currently sleep-friendly due to transient energies constantly flowing through the place.

“Duh nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh BATCOLT!”

That ended up being the cave that he and the others had made Durgo move out of….

“Duh nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh BATCOLT!”

That said, he was far away from anyone and anything the majority of the time since he and Twilight hadn’t finished the Doorway using her magic and his intrinsic knowledge of spatial manipulation yet.

“Bronze!”

“BATCOLT!”

But he was having so much fun being BATCOLT! PROTECTOR OF-!

“BRONZE!”

“Frieeeeeeeeeends~....” Bronze snapped out of his delusions of grandeur at Twilight grabbing his face in her magic and making him look down at her from his upside-down perch on the high cave ceiling. “Uh...sup Twi?”

“You! Apparently! You can’t stay here tonight! The extra-strong storm the weather patrol put together got out of control, and as high-up as this cave is, I doubt you can sleep with thunder and lightning echoing in here and blinding you respectively.” Twilight stated, and they both stared at each other for a moment. “Doesn’t that...hurt you at all?”

“What?” Bronze asked from his stalactite, his thighs easily clutching onto the inverted cone as the rest of him hung under the spike, his forelegs content to curl to his barrel and his wings folded and he was otherwise completely relaxed, not even his hips and thighs hurt.

“Being upside-down! Just looking at you hurts!” Twilight cringed at the thought of all the blood flowing to her head.

“I don’t know, it’s a thestral thing I’m guessing. Probably got some sort of muscle or tendon in my legs that let me lock a position or something like some primates can with their grips to hold onto branches of trees for hours at a time.” Bronze mused as he shifted his thighs around with a content sigh upon finding a cool spot, previous spot was getting a bit warm.

“Well, not just that, I mean your blood flow! Isn’t it all going to your head?” Twilight asked, and Bronze blinked, but then shrugged, not feeling anything really different. “I need to study some books on thestrals...anyway, get down here! We need to get to my place tonight. I’m not letting you slum-it in a cave tonight.”

“B-but! Battopia!” Bronze weakly pleaded over his almost empty cave, only currently having a blanket-covered hammock strung between two stalagmites in the back on the floor and a couple of hanging paper lanterns giving off faint magical light from their sibling stalactites overhead that managed to coat the cave in a gentle blue wash.

“Bronze! I’m putting my hoof down! Get down here and I’ll take you home where you can be warm and dry.” Twilight asserted, and Bronze groaned as he dropped from the ceiling with a ridiculous amount of grace, performing a couple of flips before spreading his wings and halting his fall a few inches from the floor, and landing with a gentle clop of his hooves.

“Fine. The Prince of the Night concedes to your demands.” Bronze grumbled, and sighed out his nose at how ‘Luna-like’ that statement was. With some needling from her near-daily visits, Luna had realized her template was going to be imposing things onto Bronze whether or not he wanted it. It was only settling in now after so long since he’d been resisting it. The more he accepted it, the more he’d become a mix between his original self and Luna. Fairly, as if he had been raised by himself and his new genetic mother.

“Well, ‘Prince of the Night’, I’m actually having a slumber party~!” Twilight clopped her forehooves together, getting Bronze to blink. He never figured Twilight for the actually girly-girl stuff. She seemed too intelligent for it. “Before I came to get you, AJ and Rarity had to duck into the library, and Trixie was already there when the storm kicked in-.”

“Have you tasted her flower yet?” Bronze asked seriously, getting Twilight to gawk at him with a fierce blush. “Don’t say you’re not trying to get under her tail. I know sexual tension when I see it Twi.”

“SHUT UP! I’ll leave you here if you don’t promise not to say anything!” Twilight fumed, upset that her super special secret feelings for Trixie were ferreted out by the most oblivious stallion she’d ever known. In fact, the fact that she was the only reason Trixie actually stayed in town wasn’t that hard to catch on to. She and Trixie made fast friends, with similar interests. Soon Twilight couldn’t stop thinking of the powder-blue mare in less...innocent ways.

“You know that if I PP, SHE will know regardless of what the promise is, right?” Bronze asked rhetorically. Pinkie was everywhere. Always. He learned that almost shortly after meeting her. ‘It would also explain why besides Twi, that she has been my most frequent visitor out here all week, bringing cupcakes, telling silly stories, shaking her sexy jiggly plot with all her dancing...why must she be such a tease?’

“Okay, fine, a normal non-Pinkie promise.” Twilight demanded, and Bronze prepared to do the motions by sitting down.

“Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.” Bronze said, getting Twilight to shudder at the grim phrasing. “Humans are quite morbid, no?” Bronze asked, again noticing his unusual phrasing, and quietly sighed again. ‘Maybe all this solitude is increasing the rate at which myself and the template merge? It would be quite a sensible theory, beings mother was always so alone most of the time.’ Bronze caught himself on that thought as he didn’t notice anything around himself during his introspection. ‘I need to talk to mom and dad. I don’t want to forget who I am, who I was….’

[@]

“Ah don’t think he’s alright.” Bronze suddenly heard, and blinked before suddenly his lovely orange marefriend was kissing him, and he calmly returned the chaste liplock, before breaking away with an expression that left Applejack breathless with how absolutely enamoured he clearly was with her, his mouth in a gentle smile, his eyes half-lidded in a smoulder.

“My beautiful love. It heartens me greatly to see thee grace me with thine glory to rival the sun with thy sun-kissed locks, thy soft orange fur, and thine verdant green eyes. Grant me another taste of nirvana.” Bronze huskily breathed out before he moved in to kiss her more, only to have AJ snap out of her enraptured trance at his romantic moment and press him away with a nervous hoof.

“Oh Applejack you ruined it!” Came Rarity’s whine, making Bronze blink and come to his senses.

“Rares, Ah know mah stallion, and he don’t speak none of that fancy frou-frou stuff!” AJ asserted as she stepped away from Bronze. “While that was sweet and got me all excited and all, this ain’t the time or place for somethin’ that intimate.” Applejack said, making Bronze wonder what he said that threw her off so much. “Besides, this won’t be much of a slumber party with a colt in on it. Bronze, ya don’t wanna do this sorta stuff any more than Ah do. So go on upstairs and bunk with Spike in his room.”

“Yes indeed darling. Let us mares have our silly bit of fun while you go and rest. Sleeping in a cave like an adventurer must be a harrowing experience.” Rarity waxed poetically. She offered a spare room as did all the others, but he vehemently denied being put up anywhere for an extended period.

Bronze didn’t want to be living with somepony yet. He had essentially JUST moved out of his parent’s place. Which was currently their still-intact and not fluctuating with energy room and the mansion through the Doorway by Fluttershy’s, where a small shack was erected around the Doorway to hide it. Fluttershy claimed it was hers for anypony who asked about it.

Nopony goes into one of Fluttershy’s sheds.

Nopony.

“Well alright then...hey...this will be my first sleepover….” Bronze realized. Hospitals and bunking together with family all bunched onto the same bed with five other guys don’t count when you just want to get to sleep and get it over with.

“Well you two don’t stay up too late okay? Spike may be 14 but he’s still a baby. He’ll be too tired tomorrow if he isn’t asleep by ten.” Twilight warned as she turned to Trixie, the powder-blue mare seeming to have already let her hair down for the night even though it was still only six in the evening. She was even wearing what looked like a spare set of Twilight’s star-patterned jammies. “So Trixie, you said you know how slumber parties work right?”

“Of course Sparkle.” Trixie said with an unusual fondness mixed with respect, before she levitated up a book. “This book you showed me Twilight? Rather accurate, but we shouldn’t follow it to the letter.”

Bronze decided now was the time to walk away and ascend the stairs as Twilight drank in her secret crush’s words while his own marefriend and the fashionista both glared at each other. ‘I hope that doesn’t ruin their night….’ Bronze mused, recognizing petty strife between friends, but beings he was already dismissed, it would be in poor character to forcibly interject himself into a bonding experience with them when they clearly wanted it to be between the ‘girls’ as it were.

Besides, aside from occasionally chilling out with Big Mac, Bronze had absolutely no guy friends! Time to bond with a dragon! *SLAM!* “DRAGON BOY~!” Bronze hollered exuberantly as he slammed the door open, causing Spike to jump from his bed.

“BWAH~!” Spike cried out as the comic book he was reading was sent flying, and he fell off the edge of his bed. “Oof! Ow! What the hay dude?”

“Guess who’s bunking with you young drake?” Bronze posed with a pleased grin with his wings flared and a false wind blowing his hair, making Spike stare at him blankly.

“Uh...you?” Spike asked blandly, only to be levitated with a light fuss up to the stallion’s face so they were eye-level.

“Indeed! The Prince of the Night has been forced by your caretaker to stay in this warm and cozy room for the duration of the moonlight.” Bronze stated, getting Spike to quirk an eyebrow as he folded his arms.

“Bro, why’re you talking like one of those ‘ye olde’ actors?” Spike bluntly asked, getting Bronze groan as he levitated Spike back to his bed, and gently closed the door upon hearing girlish giggling downstairs.

“I don’t know. Or rather, I do, but it is something I may very well have little to no control over. So why fret?” Bronze asked, remember when he first woke up as an alicorn he’d been impulsively using more intricate diction than normal. Perhaps his mother’s supposition of her template forcing him to change was indeed true.

“Oh, bummer. So...you’re here to hang out with me? Me?” Spike asked incredulously, as if the idea was a foreign concept.

“Of course! Why would I not spend time with you young Spike? Especially when it is clear I am unwanted in the presence of the mares downstairs?” Bronze asked as he picked up the comic Spike had dropped and balked at the cover. “BATCOLT?! Really?! I was just making that joke earlier!”

“What joke?” Spike asked curiously as Bronze seemed to suddenly erupt into geek mode, something the young drake was far too familiar with involving his guardian and her obsession with an adventure novel series.

“Why, the clear translation of Batman into this world’s Batcolt!” Bronze gushed as he climbed up onto the bed, and a small Doorway opened to Jeeves standing in it. “Jeeves! Have you an issue of a Batman comic yet?”

“I have several complete collections sir. Protective sleeves and thick filing cabinets were surprisingly effective at preserving them.” Jeeves stated, before holding out an issue of said comic that enlarged upon leaving the tiny door.

“Thank you Jeeves. Oh~ it’s a Riddler issue! I always loved those.” Bronze pulled it out of the sleeve, Spike just dumbly gawking at the tiny door before the equally tiny golem gave a bow and the door closed, vanishing as if it was never there.

“Whoa. Dude, why don’t you just sleep in that place again?” Spike asked in confusion, and Bronze gave a heavy sigh.

“Because, sleeping inside the main area of the mansion doesn’t convey proper rest, and sadly, my room was considered part of the main area. Right now, Jeeves is trying to get it cordoned off from the rest of the place like the other rooms, but I want it properly refurbished before then, as once it’s ‘cut off’ like the other rooms were by the crossroads being shunted off the material plane they originated, modifying them becomes an incredibly taxing chore that could take days or weeks to sort out.” Bronze grumbled as his own power still regularly flummoxed him in spite of his dedication to come to understand it through meditation. But some things were just right-out in the ‘can’t let you do that Star-Fox’ category.

“...Whatever. So, we gonna read this comic?” Spike asked excitedly, and Bronze gladly used his deep blue aura to hold up the comic so both he and Spike could lay on their stomachs and read it, but Bronze grinned as he cleared his throat to read it aloud for his young friend, who clearly looked excited at the idea of being read to.

“It was another dark night in the city of Gotham….”

[@]

“That was so cool!” Spike cheered as Bronze finished reading out the comic, from beginning to end. Spike had remained silent the whole while, looking at the images in the comic as Bronze had read it out for him in his deep tenor. “The way Batman and Riddler started fighting like that when Batman got through the maze, the way Riddler used that weird cane! It was infinitely cooler than a similar fight between Batcolt and the Puzzler!”

“And so young padawan, do you see the greatness of The Bat?” Bronze said in an oddly gentle and old-sounding voice, making Spike blink in confusion at having completely missed the reference, and Bronze chuckled. “I have so got to get you involved with Star Wars.”

“Why would stars have wars?” Spike asked, making Bronze burst out laughing at the innocent question. “What?! What’s so funny?!”

“N-nothing that can be explained without spoiling anything! Heh-ha~! Okay, I read one of my world’s comics to you, now you do the same for me.” Bronze urged, and the drake huffed before he considered which of his comics to share, when he realized he had a new one he hadn’t read yet.

“Oh yeah! I’ve got a new issue of Power Ponies I haven’t read yet. Wanna read it with me?” Spike asked as he moved to the pile of comics on the table next to his bed, looking over them for the issue he was planning to read now.

“Uh, sure. Not sure what series Power Ponies could mirror from my world without looking at it first anyways.” Bronze said as he put the Batman comic back into it’s sleeve and set it aside as he patiently waited for Spike to return with a very colorful comic that he pulled out of a paper sleeve.

“Wow! This new issue is actually a crossover between Batcolt and the Power Ponies! Twilight said she had a surprise for me, but this is really special!” Spike gushed as he turned the cover around, revealing Batcolt and his sidekick Robin (The fact that Robin is a griffon hen just tickled Bronze pink with humor) standing atop a building and looking menacing down at the Power Ponies with whom Bronze guessed was the Puzzler and a tentacle haired purple mare gleefully watching from around a corner as the two sides seemed about to face off. “Batcolt and the Power Ponies in The Mane-Pulling Mystery!”

“Huh. That’s interesting. This looks like a Marvel and DC crossover, those are obscenely rare and usually fan-made even then.” Bronze commented in intrigue as Spike opened the cover to begin, only to blink and squint at something in very small print. “Oh, one of those tiny footnotes the publisher slips in?”

“Yeah, hold on, I got a magnifying glass for these situations.” Spike went back to his nightstand, opened a drawer, and pulled out said visual aid. “Okay, let’s see….” Spike looked it over and wrinkled his brow. “Return you shall to where you began, when you have foiled the Puzzler and Mane-iac’s plan.”

“Well that’s not foreshadowing at all. Thanks publisher for providing potential-.” Bronze was interrupted by the comic bursting into a blinding white light, pulling him and Spike towards it. “-SPOILERS?! SPIKE!” Bronze shouted as the clearly magic comic pulled the fearfully screaming young dragon inside, and seeing that it was a portal of some sort, Bronze knew to not follow when he could easily warp away would be beyond irresponsible. “Here goes nothing….” Bronze let it pull him in, and the colorful picture book then fell innocuously onto the bed.

Author's Note

What's that? Taking a plot out of Season 4 for a side-plot in Season 1? GASP! BURN IT WITH FIRE~! :twilightangry2:

I HAVE COMMITTED A GREAT ATROCITY! :flutterrage:

Batcolt? Uh...I Guess?

Bronze groaned. All he felt was a throbbing ache through his whole body, as if something fundamental to his very being was ripped out of him. ‘It doesn’t help that whatever this is, it’s focusing in my brain like the mother of all migraines. Ow. I did not miss them….’

“Batcolt! Batcolt, speak to me!” A soft yet commanding young girl’s voice demanded of him, two tiny hands grabbing his clothes and shaking him.

‘Ow~! Little girl you’re worsening it!’ Bronze groaned again, hissing as he slowly opened his eyes to the whited-out eyes of a domino-mask wearing young griffon hen easily around the age of Applebloom. Aside from the mask and her ‘traffic light’ spandex outfit, he could only tell her tawny feathered head and golden-tan wings as any indicator of who she might be, which, of course, was completely useless to him.

“Oh thank the stars you’re okay Batcolt. When you got hit by Puzzler’s fancy new toy, I thought you’d been done for!” The young hen unhelpfully gave some exposition, which, of course, was just as useless to Bronze at comprehending the situation.

“What are you talking about? Who are you?” Bronze asked as he got up to a sitting position and rubbed his head, only to freeze with wide-open eyes in horror. ‘Where’s my horn?’ Bronze rubbed over his skull again, his hoof not catching on a spiraled and sharp protrusion like it should. ‘WHERE’S MY HORN?!’

*GASP* “The Puzzler has stolen your memory! But if you can’t remember who you are, you can’t be Batcolt! Oh~ Alfalfa! I wish we weren’t so far from Trotham. At least if we were on our home turf, Alfalfa would be able to help us! Oh flock, oh flock!” The hen cub began freaking out, and some instinct Bronze didn’t know surfaced, making him quickly move to her and bonk her on the head, getting an ‘ow!’ from her.

“Language young hen! I might not remember you, but those are not words someone like you should be using.” Bronze chastised her, making the hen grumble.

“Geez, even without your memories you’re a stickler for rules. Well, okay. We’ll start off simple. You; are Batcolt. The Dark Knight of Trotham. I am your ever trustworthy sidekick; Robin. We followed rumors of sightings of The Puzzler all the way to Maretropolis. He’s here alright, and he blasted you with some sort of bewild-o-ray that clearly wiped your memory! Do you think you can fly still?” Robin asked worriedly, and Bronze hummed as he flapped his wings.

‘At least I still have these.’ Bronze mentally bemoaned the loss of his alicorn card. Whoever made this book was way too dangerous to leave unchecked if it can change somepony’s species so casually. “Yeah, I think so Robin. If we have a safehouse nearby, lead us to it. We can work from there.” ‘Just play along, figure things out, find Spike, and get the hell outta dodge.’

“Sound’s good, follow me!” Robin practically beamed at possibly salvaging whatever the situation was, and she took off with her admittedly large wings. Then again, griffons have much larger wings than pegasi or thestrals as a rule. It explains how such a young cub can fly already.

It wasn’t hard to follow her, especially since she kept low and often touched down on rooftops. When questioned, she informed him he taught her to do it like that to conserve energy and also to make it easier to spot crime with a stop-n-go rather than just plain ‘go’. The fact that this world wasn’t empty, that there was actual pedestrian traffic as well as carriage traffic below just puzzled Bronze all the more.

Without his horn, he was essentially just a plain thestral, so he was currently ripped from his Aspect. Gog he didn’t want to imagine the pain he might experience getting it back. So he couldn’t tell if this perceived reality was in fact just a fantasy following intense probability behaviors, or somehow the creators of the book had genuinely crafted a portal to another world using avatars as the inserts for the intended roles of the ‘readers’, which could explain why anything at all could potentially rob Bronze of his essential physical manifestation of godhood. Well that, or he was actually possessing the real Batcolt’s body, and he didn’t want to consider the ramifications of the potentially real danger he and Spike were now in.

‘Where the flying buck did Twilight buy this flocking comic from?!’ Bronze mentally screamed as the ramifications of this dimensional excursion ripped into what he knew, even without connection to his Aspect, of what this journey could do. ‘Oh yeah! A potential Resonance Cascade! One that would MERGE realities considering the similarities between the dimensions that I can observe! And if not, there might be a Resonance period, and things start slowly leaking between the two realities and causing rift gates-!’

“Batcolt! Snap out of it!” Robin’s panicked screeching and shaking him brought Bronze out of the panic his downward spiral was causing, and he panted at realizing he’d stopped breathing for a moment. “Geez, the Puzzler really did a number on you, didn’t he? Hold it together colt, I got us to our current safehouse. I’ll call Alfalfa and try to sort things out, okay? Follow me inside.”

Robin looked over the edge of the skyscraper-’WHEN DID WE GET UP HERE?!’-that they’d flown up to, and then gestured for him to follow with her leonine tail, before deftly diving down right next to the building, and he rushed to the ledge to see her fall to the top floor of windows and then bolt into one, which readily opened smoothly upon impact, and he quickly bolted into the opening before it closed. It was dark inside, but both he and Robin could clearly see just fine with their respective night visions as they strode into the ridiculously giant penthouse suite, Robin casually stripping off her leotard as she moved to the extremely modern entertainment center. ‘This cub needs some decency. I mean really. Undressing in front of someone?’

Ignoring the odd thought, considering most beings in Bronze’s new reality were predominantly nude most of the time anyway, he examined the rest of the penthouse, and realized he was incredibly hungry when he saw the large kitchen. ‘Hope they got some spinach or broccoli.’ Bronze pondered as he went into the kitchen, hissing and blinking as suddenly the lights across the suit turned on.

“Sorry Brave, but we gotta-TAKE YOUR COSTUME OFF!” Robin screeched halfway through her explanation and bolted across the area to him, yanking his cowl off as she tugged him under the counter. “Geez, forgot you forgot everything. There’s no guarantee the safehouse is perfectly safe, so we gotta be out of costume in case any pegasi, thestrals, griffons, yada-yada come flying by and see something they shouldn’t.”

“Oh, I understand. But what did you just call me?” Bronze asked, wondering how she knew his second name as he nervously started moving his hooves over the heavy costume, not really knowing where any of the seams were, and getting Robin to sigh in exasperation. Then she blushed as she gestured for him to stay still and began undressing him slightly by pulling off his four cleverly designed combat hoof boots and then helped remove the cape and cowl, before showing the seams in his bodysuit and moving away from him, clearly indicating she wasn’t going to invade his privacy that much.

“Brave. It’s your name colt. You’re Brave Wings, president and CEO of Wings Enterprises. Also essentially my adopted dad, but hey, I don’t want you to be too bowled-over by stuff. So you just relax right now, I’m going to see about setting things right.” Robin said as the tawny and tan griffon ran back into the living room. “And don't touch any of the apples! Or pears! Or any fruit right now, I need you coherent!”

Bronze Brave, or maybe just Brave right now, wondered what she meant. Then again, Brave just realized something…. ‘I’ve never had any fruit from Equestria...my diet was always so vegetable and protein/iron heavy that fruit was considered wasteful filler when I already had hay and even, eugh, grass to fill that in.’ Brave looked at the fruit bowl on the countertop, suddenly incredibly curious. ‘Does fruit effect ponies oddly? If so, then why does AJ have such a ridiculously huge orchard of apples? I’ve seen ponies eating it in large quantities too. So what’s the deal with me not being allowed to have some?’

Brave snorted and shook his head as he peeled the bodysuit off, revealing his black coat and his short ‘business’ trimmed silver mane and tail. ‘Am I just that much of a hit on Brave Wings? Or is this an avatar and the real Brave Wings is currently sleeping in a pocket reality right now?’ Brave managed to not think of it right now and moved to the fridge. He wasn’t feeling fruit right now anyway. ‘Let’s see...oooo, fresh spinach and broccoli with some ranch dressing and carrots sounds good right now.’

[(x)]

After assembling his salad, Brave ate and then went into the living room where Robin was wrapping up a video call with and old tan earth pony stallion with a balding silver mane, who hung up shortly before Brave would’ve entered the camera. “So who was that?”

“Alfalfa. Your butler. He’s kinda your adopted dad since he was your godfather when your parents...well...were murdered by the Jester.” Robin dropped on him, figuring it might trigger some unpleasant memories. Thankfully, Brave wasn’t the real Brave, so he could detachedly approach the scenario with sympathy rather than personal anguish, so Robin was visibly mixed between sadness and relief that all he did in response to that news was move his fluffy ears back.

“Oh...that’s...very sad to know. So Robin-.”

“Robin’s my Cape Name. I’m Genevieve Goldwing. Friends call me Viv or Vicky for short. You took me in when my parents were murdered by sabotaged circus equipment. I won’t go into too much detail since hopefully your memory will come back. Technically I’m Victory Wings by law, but you never asked me to give up my original name in private.” Genevieve informed warmly, her love for the parental figure that Brave was replacing made him feel guilty even if he wasn’t at fault for the situation.

“Oh...well I can see the name change if I was trying to protect you from someone being a thing I’d do….”

“Yep, and it worked out. Flockers are in prison serving life sentences, and I can technically legally change my name back, but it kinda stuck. Makes me being your daughter a bit more legitimate in my opinion.” Genevieve preened, only to get a bonk on the head for cursing again. “Ow! Sorry! Geez.”

“Language, seriously cub.” Brave grouched, but grinned with levity. “So, what did Alfalfa suggest?”

“He actually suggested something that, normally, neither of us would be up for.” Genevieve cringed at what she was about to say, hesitant to bring it up, but Brave gestured with a hoof for her to carry on. “We should seek out the local heroes and ask them for help.” She then cringed, as if he was about to yell at her, only to see him raise an eyebrow.

“Sure. Let’s get going.” Brave said easily, making her gawk at him.

“The Puzzler seriously messed with your head….”

[(x)]

“I think I wish I was colorblind right now.” Brave bemoaned of the sight below. After flying through the city for an hour and the night wearing on, they finally came across the local superheroes, the Power Ponies. “No offense, but if they clashed any more colors together, I think some sort of color-obsessed-aliens would swoop in just to abduct them.”

“Ick, yeah. I’m no henny hen, but even I want to yack at those outfits. Except Radiance, that mare’s got class.” Robin commented. “Now remember, you’re Batcolt. Your real name is completely off any sort of discussion table.”

“I may have lost my memories, but I get how secret identities work Robin. Let’s get down there, they all look rather antsy and won’t stop bothering the drake.” ‘Thank gog I found you Spike. But the fact that you and Robin both have similar costumes might cause conflict-.’

“Holy flock dude! You have my costume!” Robin practically squealed as she flew down to the startled group, standing in front of Spike and looking him over. “This is so cool! I thought I was the only one with the love for traffic lights.”

“Robin, language!” Batcolt scolded as he landed before the suddenly gasping and awestruck pony team as his wing-covering and oddly weightless cape fluttered down around him dramatically. “Apologies for Robin’s potty-beak. She refuses to learn to use proper words.”

“Oh yeah, like you never swear.” Robin rolled her white-mesh covered eyes. “So who’re you? I didn’t know the Power Ponies had any Normals in masks with them.” Robin asked excitedly, beings herself and Batcolt really don’t have superpowers. Just skill and sleight of hoof/talon.

“Oh um, I’m...Hum Drum.” Hum Drum said as he looked to Batcolt hopefully.

“Um, excuse me, Mister Batcolt?” Came forth the voice of the only alicorn of the group; Masked Matter-Horn. The mare obviously wasn’t a normal alicorn, considering if she was there’d be absolutely no way she could have a secret identity. Likely she was a pegasus who could transform into a sort of false alicorn since her only known uses of her horn were to fire obscenely powerful concussive blasts from it that could either be able to level half a mountain, or gently shove people against a wall. “It is a really great honor to meet you, but what are you doing in Maretropolis?”

“We were apparently seeking one of my nemeses; The Puzzler.”

“Apparently?” MMH asked quizzically, and Robin took this as her turn to bring them up to speed.

“We found the conniving cad, only he blasted Batcolt with something he called a ‘Bewild-o-Ray’ that took all his memory!” Robin dramatically emphasized, getting all the ponies to gasp in shock.

“But that’s what the Mane-iac called her fancy new gizmo she tried to blast Saddle Rager with, but Hum Drum knocked her outta the way since the varmint jumped us before she could rage. Now the poor fella’s gone bonkers from takin’ the hit, callin’ us ponies we ain’t.” Mistress Mare-velous explained in a drawl that very much reminded Batcolt of his marefriend.

“So we have two victims. One memories gone, the other memories changed! It’s a mane-pulling mystery!” Fili-Second exclaimed dramatically, only for Batcolt to sigh.

“It’s not much of a mystery really. It’s quite obvious that Puzzler and Mane-iac are working together. The reason it could be mane-pulling is because of the frustrations that accompany any sort of memory loss. Once again, poor titles abound.” Batcolt grumbled, getting Hum Drum to sigh in relief at realizing that, yes, Batcolt is his friend from their world.

“So what we need to do now is find out where they’re hiding, get the Bewild-o-Rays, and get you guys back to normal.” MMH stated factually, it was clear she was the leader of the Power Ponies considering how the others all instantly deferred to her.

“Then let’s get to business.” Batcolt stated, ignoring how Robin and Hum Drum started whispering and giggling/chuckling to each other shortly after the group started heading for wherever it was that the Power Ponies were willing to allow them to see in terms of an HQ, which really, was probably pointless to the real Batcolt. If Brave Wings was anything like Bruce Wayne, he obsessively kept tabs on ALL potential threats.

[(x)]

Well it was unusually easy, confusingly so. Clearly the comics of Equestria pandered more to actual children rather than to a broad older kid to young-adult demographic that most comics in Brave’s world did. The Power Ponies just outright took Batcolt and Robin to their main headquarters in the penthouse of another skyscraper not even a few blocks away from the one Brave was renting out, put together the clues they had all been collecting the duration of the night, and then now they were standing over a warehouse in the docks where everyone was fairly sure was where Puzzler and Mane-iac were hiding out.

‘Usually, it takes Batman a few days to find his ‘rogue-of-the-issue’ but tonight, and it’s still the same night, everything’s already coming to a fast conclusion? The comic book did look fairly thin….’ Of course, Brave was postulating under the premise that this was all just a fantasy, and not a potential alternate reality, which it very well could be, but that’s not important right now. “Alright, here’s the plan. You six go in with your usual shock-and-awe tactic, while I, Robin, and Hum Drum take them from the shadows.”

“Why not take one of us?” Zapp asked, making Batcolt slowly and silently turn his head to the loudmouth weather-kinetic, making her nervously duck behind the rest of her team.

“Let’s go.” Batcolt stated, dropping down and ignoring Spike’s quiet yelp as Robin picked him up and flew down after him. After they got on the roof of the warehouse and were away from everyone but Robin, Batcolt sighed in relief. “Oh thank gog I found you Spike, I was completely lost when I woke up here without my horn.”

“I know right? I wake up surrounded by worried ponies who look like our friends back home, but aren’t our friends. I guess I’m just lucky I didn’t change species like you did.” Spike replied with equal relief, while Robin just looked utterly lost.

“What are you two talking about?” Robin asked in confusion, and beings there was no point in trying to hide it since they were on a limited timetable, Bronze decided to lift up his mask and Spike removed his domino mask.

“Genevieve. We’re not from this world. Whatever it is that Puzzler and Mane-iac have used on our counterparts here, we are not Brave Wings and Hum Drum. I am Prince Bronze Brave, son of Princess Luna.” Bronze said before he put his mask back on, and Spike did as well while he began as Bronze looked for a good entrance.

“Yeah, and I am just some baby dragon named Spike. I’m just a humble assistant to a neurotic unicorn who happens to be the prize student of Princess Celestia.” Spike said as he followed, and Robin just followed him, looking baffled and trying to wrap her head around the concept.

“So...you’re not who we all thought you were?” Robin asked worriedly.

“Nope, but don’t worry. We’re not from here, and if I think I understand it right, foiling whatever plan it is Puzzler and Mane-iac have and using the Bewild-o-Rays to ‘fix’ us will send us back home.” Bronze said as he deftly opened a skylight and scanned the interior, seething in through his teeth. “Damn. Puzzler has already set up a deathtrap, which our friends have likely already fallen into. We better get in there.”

Before Robin could protest and demand further explanation, Bronze and Spike dove into the dark, quietly skulking around and Robin had to catch up.

“I can’t believe these fools cause you so much trouble Mane-iac.” Came a greasy voice, beings it was a stallion’s, it had to be Puzzler.

“Well pardon me if most ponies don’t have so many failsafes in their plans like you do.” The responding voice was that of a husky-toned mare’s, but it was ruined by constantly shifting lilts and barely restrained giggles. She even sounded like a maniac. “Then again, I can wreak havoc by my own power.”

“While I use intellect and guile since I have no powers of my own.” Puzzler rebutted in a charming tone. “I do so enjoy teaming up with beautiful mares however.” Puzzler flirted as the trio had managed to sneak towards them on some catwalks over the odd sort of bunker that took up everything from the main entrance to the back wall and half of the floorspace.

“Oh~ no, you stay away from me you mare-killer~.” Mane-iac giggled insanely, clearly enjoying the attention regardless. When the three managed to get over the duo who were, quite literally, sitting in a stage-like ‘backroom’ on folding chairs with tea and cookies, Bronze had to admit that Mane-iac was in fact quite a looker. He especially liked her tendril-like hair. It made her exotic in his opinion. Meanwhile, Puzzler basically was covered entirely from muzzle to tail in a full-body leotard of pure green with black question marks across it. He seemed much more in-your-face than Riddler.

“That’s a wise decision.” Batcolt intoned, getting them both to suddenly bolt out of their seats and look up at the trio who were menacingly standing on the edge of the moonlight coming in from a nearby skylight, only their eyes showing through the dark. “Though I won’t lie, Puzzler is right. Shame such a beautiful face is on the wrong side of the law.”

“Batcolt, no flirting with femme fatales!” Robin berated irately. Clearly, unlike Batman, Batcolt was an open flirt both out, and in costume.

The purple-furred mare with the green mass of tentacle-shaped hair and the unique light pink and green bull’s-eye eyes tittered into a hoof as she shifted around in the air, suspended from the ground by her utterly massive mane. And tail. Her tail was the same, but since it mostly blended into her mane, it was easy to forget about. “The Batcolt making passes at moi? I’m flattered, but business before pleasure Batcolt.”

“Indeed.” Puzzler grinned as he flipped open a panel on the side of the orb of his question-mark cane, and depressed a button.

Quickly, Batcolt and Robin took to the air while Hum Drum jumped down on them as the catwalk became visibly electrified seconds later. Hum Drum opened up the conflict by breathing fire, getting the two villains to jump away as the emerald fire consumed the two’s small table and chairs. “What’s the matter Mane-iac? Afraid of a little fire?”

“Well! You’ve certainly gotten bold Hum Drum. Have a little shaving cream to cool off!” Mane-iac countered as she summoned said canisters out of her mane, throwing them towards the fire and consequently Hum Drum, which he promptly ran away from before the extremely combustible and flammable substance exploded and spread the emerald fire further while the madmare laughed insanely and gave chase, completely ignorant to the chase going on with Puzzler slyly running into a ‘backup’ maze comprising the offices, Batcolt and Robin grudgingly following.

“We know you’re here Puzzler!” Robin growled out as the door sealed behind them, making the solid green room they entered seem seamless.

“What is it that you can keep, after giving it to someone else?” Puzzler asked, irritating the Dynamic Duo.

“Your Word.” Batcolt answered succinctly.

A door opened in another direction, and they rushed through it. If Puzzler was anything like Riddler, he was a fair player, and if they answered correctly, he’d admit his loss.

“The bigger I get, the less there is. What am I?”

“A Hole, duh.” Robin snarked, and yet another door opened up in another direction

“The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?”

“Steps.” Oddly, the next door was in the ceiling and they flew up to it.

“Always running, never walking, sometimes babbles but never talking. What am I?”

“Ugh, a River.” Robin replied with annoyance, and really unusually, a shower stall popped out of a wall, acting as a passage into the next room that still sealed behind them.

“What holds water, yet is full of holes?”

“A Sponge.” Batcolt quickly answered, the shower stall being too big of a clue. The next door opened and they proceeded.

“On which side of a chicken are the most feathers?”

“Uh...Outside.” Robin realized it was a trick question. There was no side that could be counted or really mattered in the long run. The next door was actually a stairwell down into another room.

“There are two sisters. One gives birth to the other and she, in turn, gives birth to the first.”

Batcolt had to grin, the answer was too easy. “Night and Day.”

“Well, I’m afraid that’s all. I’ve stalled as best I could but it seems my compatriot is at her wit’s end with her enemies getting free of my traps and harrying her. It’s best I’m off. This way leads to your compatriots. Ta~.” Puzzler taunted, getting both Batcolt and Robin to growl, since trying to tail Puzzler once he’d had his fun was like trying to catch a stray cat. You just don’t.

“let’s get out there and help them deal with Mane-iac!” Robin declared, and the duo ran out the last door that opened out onto the first floor near where they left Hum Drum before, to see Mane-iac frantically pointing a sort of rifle at the group, who warily stayed away from the panicking villainess. “That’s it! That’s the Bewild-o-Ray!”

“Get her!” Hum Drum shouted, and not even Fili-Second was fast enough to stop him, Batcolt, and Robin from pouncing on the frantic mare, who impulsively fired at Hum Drum point blank and-.

[(x)]

Pain. Unbridled pain. The last time Bronze felt pain like this…. ‘Fuuuudge...it’s like my ascension all over again….’ Only it was much more subdued, this time all the pain was centered on his horn. ‘It’s back~...I wouldn’t even care if I didn’t need it to act as a medium for me to access my Aspect….’

“Brave! Brave are you-*GASP*?!” Bronze cringed at hearing Genevieve’s voice, which confused him.

“What ridiculousness is this?! Batcolt? An alicorn?!” What the buck was Mane-iac still doing here? Wasn’t it just an odd fever dream or something?

“Robin?! Mane-iac?! B-but we’re not in the comic anymore! What’re you doing here?! TWILIGHT! HELP!” Bronze felt a powerful impact, and he couldn’t breathe, something was choking him!

‘C-can’t move...can’t...breathe...h...help….’ Everything went even darker.

Author's Note

What's this? ANOTHER cliffhanger? :pinkiegasp:

Someponeh STAHP meh! :pinkiecrazy:

Why Am I Such a Softy?

Bronze didn’t think he would die this way...choked until his lungs failed him. He was literally drowning on his own lungs, and he was at the point where all sensation was leaving him. Thoughts were nebulous things that-

Pain! Scratch that!

Bronze’s eyes snapped open, coughing as he could suddenly breathe with a hard object having forced air into his lungs through his lips, the darkness and spots in his eyes fading as he took in painful, but delicious breaths of air when whatever just inflated his lungs pulled away. He suddenly wheezed when shortly, someone small hugged his neck, sobbing. “I thought I lost you….” Bronze froze, recognizing the voice.

“...Genevieve?” Bronze asked worriedly as he hugged her small shaking body to his chest, noticing things in the room now that he wasn’t in blinding pain or being choked to death. It was Spike’s room in the library, for sure. But it was ruined, furniture smashed everywhere, and levitated, frozen in the air was Mane-iac, still as a statue in Twilight’s clearly furious and powerful spells.

“Bronze? I left you two alone for two minutes. How and I stress this very heavily. How did you manage to let this happen?” Twilight asked with a deadly tone of voice, only for Spike to fight his way free out from under a pile of comic books.

“W-wait, Twilight, this isn’t Bronze’s fault! It was that special comic you bought me! It sucked us into it and we replaced a couple of characters, but when we came back, Robin and Mane-iac somehow came with us!” Spike informed as he looked for the comic. “This one! See? On the cover, that’s Robin, and that’s Mane-iac right-OW!” Spike shouted in pain as the book started glowing again and floated out of his claws. “No-no-no! Not again!” Spike panicked, only for the book to vanish. “W-what?”

“Uh...Genevieve? I...think we just lost your way home….” Bronze said with his ears tilting back. Having his Aspect back, he now sensed from the ambient energies, and from both Genevieve and Mane-iac, that they were indeed from a parallel universe that the comic book somehow acted as some sort of gateway/window to.

“What are you saying? Th-that you’re not my dad?” The costumed cub asked with tears clogging her domino mask’s mesh.

“That’s right...I’m not.” Bronze said truthfully, but pulled her into a tender hug anyway. “But since Space is my domain, I and Jeeves will work tirelessly to get you home Little Robin. Since it’s a parallel world, that decreases the vast number of universes that we’ll have to search through...which could still take years.” Bronze said honestly, getting the little hen to sniffle as he looked up at the room, seeing even Mane-iac looked touched at the sight of a crying child.

“Well now...that’s the stallion Ah know and love.” AJ tenderly said as she, Rarity, and Trixie all crowded the door behind Twilight. “Ya’ll better get comfortable with the thought of intimacy colt. Cuz seein’ ya with little ones just makes me so hopeful.” Applejack said gently as she moved into the room, getting on the floor with him and nuzzling the distraught little hen who, despite knowing he wasn’t really her dad, sought him out for comfort. “Hey little bloom. It’ll be alright.”

“M-my dad’s gone...my friends are gone...please don’t leave me too….” Genevieve whimpered as she buried her face in Bronze’s chest, the stallion refusing to move as he curled protectively around her, even moving a wing over her. Everypony and one dragon all silently agreed to leave the room, save AJ who curled around Genevieve on the other side, essentially surrounding the cub with their bodies.

Meanwhile, the last one out was Mane-iac, who was being carefully levitated out, and in her two-tone eyes was something she hadn’t experienced since she lost her mind to the chemical vat.

Guilt….

[@]

It was to a bright beam of light blinding him through his eyelids that woke Bronze. The red tint his flesh leant the morning sun wasn’t enough for him to sleep through, so he grunted and tried to move to block it, only to realize his forehooves were devoted to snuggling something small to his body, and when he managed to muscle through his light-sensitivity to look at the source, he groggily remembered the travesty that became of his first sleepover.

‘Genevieve...she doesn’t have a home here. She might even be an adult by the time Jeeves finds her home dimension….’ Bronze squeezed the sleeping cub a little tighter, feeling all kinds of responsible even if nopony was to blame for the events that led to her being stuck here, away from her loved ones. ‘But where can I possibly put her? I can’t just hoof her off to somepony. My friends, as much as I know they would say otherwise and take her in at the drop of a hat, I can’t do that to them. But where will I take her? I have no home of my own that isn’t-.’

“Sir. I have a suggestion for your dilemma.”

‘Fire away Jeeves.’

“Your room, I’ve just about prepared it for anchoring. However, would you like me to turn it from just a single room, into an entire home? Not a mansion either. An actual home with bedrooms, living room, dining room, kitchen, the entire package. Then I could anchor the Doorway where we previously discussed.”

‘Excellent idea Jeeves, carry through with it, but first I have to get Genevieve’s opinion on things. She has a right to make decisions herself.’ Bronze looked up from the sleeping cub to Applejack, who had curved her body around Genevieve on her other side, and it wasn’t until now that Bronze realized they were still on the floor, and how close his and her snouts were. Her breath out her nose didn’t smell at all bad either. Like apples if he were honest.

“‘Bout time ya woke up colt.” Bronze almost jumped at her quiet whisper, and she cracked open her glorious emerald eyes with a tenderness and love that took the breath from his lunges. “Ah was afraid of leavin’ ya alone with the poor thing. Will ya’ll be alright without me?”

“Yeah. You go on home AJ. Your family must be worried sick considering how bad that storm last night must’ve been.” Bronze whispered, and they quietly kissed, drawing it out a bit before softly ending it, and AJ visibly begrudged having to get up off the floor since it meant leaving him and the cub alone.

Bronze was about to snuggle back down with Genevieve when-. “WHAT THE HAY?!” Applejack’s extremely loud shout of disbelief jolted both Bronze and Genevieve onto their respective standing appendages, and the cub rapidly scanned the room as Bronze moved the the door, and about dropped his jaw to the floor at the sight of a ridiculous amount of damage to the library. Twilight’s loft window was shattered and whatever came through it had made an utter mess of everything. There was a progressive cleaning spell sweeping through the place, but the fact that Twilight only put a weak self-sustained barrier over the window said she was too tired at the time to properly restore the place.

“What in tarnation happened and why didn’t it wake us up?!” Applejack demanded of Twilight at the bottom of the stairwell, who had a cold compress on her head, especially enveloping her horn.

“It was a rough night, that’s for sure. C’mon into the kitchen. Maniac’s making fluffed pancakes.” Twilight deflected for the moment, leading Applejack away.

“Who?” AJ asked, and Bronze only now looked at the door frame to see he was poking his head through a purple magic filter of sorts.

‘I see, it’s a sound barrier of sorts. Thanks Twi.’ Bronze pulled his head in, and turned around to see Genevieve with her mask off, looking down at it forlornly.

“So...is this it? Is this the end of Robin? Or is there rampant crime and supervillains here too?” Genevieve asked with a mixture of hope and concern, which turned to an odd mix of relief and sadness at Bronze shaking his head. His own experiences told him that crime and villainy were a very exceptionally low thing in Equestria, especially if his friends were all to be believed.

“There’s no need for Robin here. In our world, crime still happens, yes, but it’s managed well by mindful ponies and dutiful guards. The most ponies have to tend with are disasters and dangerous wildlife wandering too far from their homes. The cities of Trotham and Maretropolis are considered fantasy here, for instance, and so were you and Mane-iac until last night.” Bronze informed seriously, knowing that to tell her up-front was better than hiding it. “However, that book that brought Spike and I to your world, and then returned us with you and Mane-iac in tow, was a genuine portal disguised as an innocent children’s superhero comic.”

“So what do I do now? I can’t fight crime that isn’t out there, and I don’t have anyone here for me.” Genevieve sullenly said and threw her little domino mask across the room, but watched it be caught in Bronze’s aura and levitated over to him as he approached her.

“Genevieve. You don’t have crime to fight. But that just means this is a chance for you to live a normal life. Well, as normal as it could be if you decide to associate with me.” Bronze used his magic to put her mask back over her eyes. “You can still be a Little Robin if you want, helping the guards however you can. Or you can do anything you want. Become a guard yourself. A baker. A hunter. You can even foalsit or teach for all it’s worth. In the end, it isn’t circumstance that makes someone who they are. It’s who they choose to be in spite of the circumstances.”

“...There’s just no flocking way you’re not related to Brave Wings….” Genevieve smiled weakly, sniffling, and giggled at the slow-motion bop on her head. “I know, I know. ‘Language young cub’ and all that jazz.”

“Oh, that is definitely a serious thing in this world. You had best watch your tongue young hen, or I’ll have Twilight enchant your beak to clamp shut every time you say a bad word out of context.” Bronze warned, and Genevieve snorted in amusement and nodded her ascent. “I mean it! I’m not kidding!” Bronze hammed, getting her to giggle. “So...what do you want to do right now? Going forward.”

“...Do you have any room for me?” Genevieve asked hopefully, getting Bronze to beam.

“So Genevieve, would you like to live in a mansion again? Or a normal house?” Bronze asked, and Genevieve hummed.

“Well, a mansion would be nice, considering Brave spoiled me rotten outside of keeping me disciplined as Robin. I’ll miss Alfalfa so much though. He was always such a good stallion at helping keep you grounded, ya know?” Genevieve then took off her mask, letting her sharp red eyes shine through with hope and determination. “Also, Just call me Viv, or Vivian. Genevieve is a name I should’ve let go of years ago, and Victory isn’t much of a griffon name.”

“Are you sure? Genevieve is a beautiful name.” Bronze asked, getting a nod out of the hen. “Alright then, Vivian. Jeeves.” Viv blinked at the sudden statement, and the polished mahogany door opened out of the wall, revealing Jeeves standing twice as tall as Bronze.

“It is ready sir. You can take her to her new home once you and Miss Sparkle have finished the Local Doorway to ‘Battopia’.” Jeeves then bowed to Vivian, and the Doorway closed, promptly vanishing.

“Who the flock was that?!” Viv asked in astonishment, cringing as she got a bonk on the head for cursing again. “Sorry.”

“That Vivian, was my proxy, Jeeves. He acts in a manner quite similar to Alfalfa, I’m sure.” Bronze said as he moved to leave the room, the newly-named Vivian following.

“Are you sure you’re not this world’s Batcolt?” Viv’s question got a laugh out of Bronze.

[(x)]

Breakfast was...a surreal experience. Mane-iac was still here. Specifically, she was actually the one to cook breakfast. She made fluffed pancakes that were thick, flavorful, and absorbed syrups like a sponge. Hay bacon (which Bronze still gets a giggle out of calling them ‘gay bacon’), and a ridiculous amount of biscuits, eggs in various styles, and gravy if nopony wanted pancakes as a main dish.

So Bronze was busy inhaling one of the biscuits, beings he decided to go half-n-half on the food to try it all, staring at the admittedly beautiful purple mare who uncomfortably twitched and grunted intermittently as if in pain just sitting still in her adorable ‘kiss the cook’ apron, her mane and tail spasming as if staying still was against her very nature. “S-stop staring...please?” She asked, no, pleaded of him, and Bronze sighed sadly out his nose.

“Sorry. Hard to look away when somepony seems to be in pain.” Bronze commented, and she giggled uncontrollably. No really. It was a fit, Bronze could tell she didn’t do it intentionally as she strained to stop it. “Didn’t anyone even try to help you?”

“N-no...nopony-HA-HA-HA-ahem...c-could manage to s-stay calm arrrr. Rrrr. ROUND!” She paused a moment to pant, twitching harder to everypony’s concern, while Vivian and Spike both scooted away from her warily. “M-me, long enough t-t-t-to actually do a-he-he-he-anything.” She said, her left eye dilating and her right shrinking unnaturally as she cringed, seeming on the edge of an aneurysm. “T-Twilight...said she would try and get me h-h-h-help….” She then slumped onto the table next to her small plate, beings she snacked while she ate according to Spike.

“The more she refuses to act out and indulge her impulses, the more pain it seems to cause her. I’m beginning to believe this is both a physical, mental, and magical malady. Just sending her off the Canterlot would get her thrown in a madhouse faster than anything. So I and hopefully Zecora are going to try and see about reducing, or outright reversing her condition’s severity.” Twilight said as she got up from her seat and moved to the currently gasping mare, who seemed on the verge of panic all of a sudden before Twilight hugged her gently, and the larger mare whimpered as she leaned into it. “Zecora’s the most amazing po-person, I know with the skills with chemicals and potions and her own brand of magic that might be able to help.”

“P-please back away. My hair. It wants to strangle you too….” Mane-iac cried, her eyes weeping as her hair moved in on Twilight, only for the librarian to freeze Mane-iac with a paralysis spell, visibly helping the mare relax that her body wasn’t going to kill somepony just trying to help.

“That poor pony needs real help….” Applejack said sadly at how much Mane-iac was suffering for not doing what her body was demanding of her.

“Well, her origin story says she was just a poor mare who fell into a chemical vat and was electrocuted at the same time. She was lucky to survive really.” Spike input, sipping on his juice after his self-made bug sandwich.

“We’ll have to get the word straight from the horse’s mouth on that one Trixie thinks.” Oh yeah, Trixie was here too. Unlike Rarity who took off since she had a store to run, Trixie was more or less only performing shows on request, so she had an open schedule.

“Well whatever it is, it’s for her to tell. Twilight, just put the poor mare under so she can get some respite or something. We’ll call my mom and aunt Tia to...ugh.” Bronze put his face in his hooves, sighing at doing it again. “Well Mane-iac, we have a similar problem, only mine’s much more subtle. I don’t think any magical process Twilight could come up with can keep me and the template my body’s based off of from merging completely.”

At his words and the weak paralysis spell weakening, she gave Bronze a sympathetic look.

[@]

“Oh~ she’s so adorable!” Mary Robinson squealed as she mashed poor Vivian’s face into her very puffy and pronounced platinum blonde chest, making the cub blush from being treated like an actual little kid for once, especially when Mary began nuzzling her with her beak, fussing over Vivian’s messy head feathers..

“Yes. Very.” Ronald Robinson, the huge tiger-hawk griffon said shortly. It seemed the transformation, while not fixing the damaged speech centers of his brain completely, allowed him to get some simple words out now, making his talon signs only secondary when he can’t get his point across.

“You two are taking this so much better than I thought you would….” After breakfast and helping calm Mane-iac down enough for Twilight to gently put her to sleep for a while, Bronze immediately took Vivian to his actual birth mother and his dad to let them know that he was more-or-less adopting her until he can get her home.

Mary instantly squealed ‘A GRANDBABY~!’ and took to coddling poor Vivian. The hen already has over a dozen grandkids, you’d think she’d get over getting them when she was already a great-grandmother a couple times over and Bronze himself was a Grunkle.

Robinsons could really breed, it was part of why he didn’t want to procreate...well, until recently.

“Welcome to my nutty enormous family Vivian.” Bronze chuckled, getting Vivian to managed to pull herself free of Mary’s ‘granny hug’ and get some air.

“I’m still completely confused how you went from a hairless ape, to a minotaur, to this. Meanwhile your parents are both griffons? What logic does this weird dimension follow with turning others into local races?” Vivian asked with disbelief still in her tone. He explained things to her on the way over to Fluttershy’s to speak with his parents when he figured they would be in their room resting since it was a weekend and they usually took time to themselves on the weekend from the search for the rest of the Robinson Clan.

“I believe it has more to do with personality than genetics. For instance, mom, didn’t you say cousin Kenny and his family were actually turned into satyrs?” Apparently, satyrs were a thing here and Lyra wasn’t just making it up as her excuse for her interest in humans was due to her being an anthropologist, and it was literally the practice of the study of simians or semi-simians such as minotaurs, centaurs, and satyrs to name a few.

“Yep. Kenny, Mona and their boys were turned into satyrs and wound up being in Bullgaria. They’ve already got good roots set down with Kenny working as an apprentice engineer.” Mary said with a roll of her eyes. Bronze’s cousin Kenny was already an engineer before the transition, if anything he should already be the head of whatever workshop took him in.

“Dumb. Bulls. Kick. Their. Asses.” Ronald haltingly bit out, getting Mary to punch him in the shoulder for cursing in front of Vivian, getting her to giggle, especially since Ronald was literally three times bigger than her and that was as high as she could reach on him.

“So all that aside. I came here to tell you my new place is ready and you don’t have to worry about me taking up space in the main part of the house.” Bronze informed his parents who both smiled at hearing the news. They’d been put-out that Bronze refused to bunk in their room using a sleeping bag or whatever and opted to sleep in a cave of all places

“Be. Safe. Son. Treat. Her. Right.” Ronald grunted, trying not to let how much his youngest son finally ‘leaving the nest’ worried him, but Bronze knew his dad too much to not see it.

“That’s right, you need to provide her an education, a safe home, a good diet, and for fuck’s sake, commit already!” Mary poked Bronze in the chest with a talon at her last point. Mary really liked Applejack and Zecora, and gave them the go-ahead to have her son. Bronze was the only one holding back now. He was worried about his...performance considering he’s a total virgin. “Having a mare help you with raising this cub would go a long way.”

“I’m 10.” Vivian blankly reminded them. She’d been fighting crime since she was 7. Brave pulled no punches on toughening her up while Alfalfa tended to her other needs. She was no normal cub, that was for sure. But...wasn’t this her chance at that though? Bronze told her this was a fresh start. She could just be a...normal griffon. Well, as normal as Bronze could get anyway.

“I know ma...look, I’ll talk to you later. I need to get Vivian home.” Bronze then turned to her and put a hoof on her, vanishing.

[@]

A simple oak door stood at the right side of the cave entrance, and it’s free-standing frame shined with runes before opening and Bronze, Vivian, and surprisingly; Mane-iac stepped through. In the time spent visiting his folks, Twilight and Zecora were already able to work out a potion that, taken in doses over time, could help her stabilize. That said, she didn’t have someplace to stay, and Bronze wanted to keep an eye on her, so beings he definitely had room to spare, invited her to stay with him. “Welcome you two, to Battopia!”

Bronze gestured grandly to the large, dark, empty cave with nothing but the hammock and lanterns, getting the two females to look at him with a raised eyebrow each. “Is it me? Or is he crazier than I?” Mane-iac asked the hen rhetorically, getting the griffon to shrug.

“Oh ye of little faith! This vast space can house dozens! I mean, just look at that door!” Bronze then pointed behind the hammock on the back wall, just as magical dark blue light lit on either side of it, revealing large, stately, polished mahogany double-doors with bat-themed knockers on them. They were, quite literally, the front doors of a mansion. “Brave Wings, eat your heart out! You may have money, you may have charm. But I? I have SPACE POWERS!”

“Yeah, he’s crazier than you.” Vivian said with a grin to the purple mare, who had stripped of her own leotard to be in the buff like everypony else. The two femmes figured shedding the vestments of their previous lives was symbolic. They left their outfits in Spike’s claws. The little drake was far too happy to, quote; ‘protect your secrets with my life’, unquote. That really made Vivian giggle.

“Let us retire my new housemates! To our grand mansion~!” Bronze hammed as they approached the doors, knocking on the knocker on the left twice, the right one thrice, and the left one once. When the doors then automatically opened inwards with slow drama, both Vivian and Mane-iac had their eyes wide open and sparkling in amazement. “Welcome~! To Battopia Manor~!”

The insides were very classy, done in shades of white, gray, and black with an offset of blood red. The sheer volume of bat-themed ornaments and designs made Vivian smile softly at how homey it felt already to her, while Mane-iac instantly took a liking to what seemed to be a ridiculously massive entertainment center. They both looked to each other, and to the stallion giving them a home, before squee-ing with excitement and running in to explore, leaving Bronze at the closing doors grinning, until said doors closed and both females were out of sight, and he fell over on his side, exhausted.

Author's Note

Wow, so tired, this chapter kinda drained me like it drained Bronze.

I, personally, am a genuine Grunkle, and I'm not even in my 30s.

Mah family, it too big dawg! Too many names and faces to remember~! :fluttercry:

But being the fun uncle all the kids want to play with is great! :pinkiehappy:

So~...Delicious~....

Author's Note

Lemon Alert! Lemon Alert! :pinkiegasp:

This chapter officially pops this story's Clop cherry! :pinkiecrazy:

So~...Delicious~....

Bronze was a very happy pony.

He has wonderful friends, his family is more-or-less being reunited gradually by his parents via networking thanks to Twilight’s simple arcanic conversions for the Internet she was able to make completely wireless and stable, and his new mom and aunt helping her out by placing relays that only had to be several dozen miles apart from one another, along with several originally controversial engineering companies grasping computer hardware and software design like fish to water.

Thus, fairly advanced laptops and desktops were already available to the common streetwalker for rather interestingly low cost, since ponies could manufacture the parts so easily, not to mention the gems and precious metals used in the process were as common as rocks here. The only concerns were how to filter content from the internet so that those too young for certain things weren’t spoiled before their time, which was thankfully taken care of by a screen filter that blurs out things considered vulgar and only to the eyes of those who are too innocent to even understand what the content even means.

So that said, it seemed everything was going right for him. He was still working out with Bulk, Dash, and Gilda, and had put on a respectable amount of weight as his increased nutrition also kick-started his growth, finally letting him gain some height to be eye-level with most mares.

There was also his adopted griffon daughter, Vivian, who easily adapted to life in Ponyville over the past week. Most of the ponies in her class, which she shares with Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were scared of her at first, but they’ve mostly grown to accept her and from what she says, not even the class bullies; Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon leave her alone since she was the biggest child in the class, even if she was the same age as them.

And then there was Mane-iac.

The poor mare was having such a hard time, even with Zecora’s potions taken with lunch at noon and Twilight’s incredibly precise and gentle electrotherapy every afternoon, she was still prone to, while tamer; fits of uncontrollable laughter, crying, violent (often potentially lethal) mood swings, and an unusual craving to feed her hair cucumber shampoo, citing she usually craved watermelon. She did relieve worries of her condition worsening however, stating that since she was apprehended and given a chance here, her symptoms were actually far tamer than before, and the occasional heart-racing or unwilling twitching were worth the chance of getting better.

Sadly, the only real bad thing to happen the past week was all initial attempts to trace Vivian’s and Mane-iac’s energy back to their home dimension fell flat. It seemed the moment the comic vanished, it took their ‘threads’ so to speak, with it. As for the store that sold Twilight the comic, they were just as shocked as everyone else. It seemed the store was completely ignorant that any of their stock had potential dimension-breaching potential, and the Enchanted issues weren’t even supposed to be considered safe for release for a couple years at best, so there was little to no chance of the mysterious phenomenon being intentionally recreated.

Oh! And Gilda decided to stop chasing his plot. According to her; Dash was actually what she needed, and she came to want her when they went out on a few dates without Bronze having to breathe down their necks. Next thing he hears from Gilda is an apology for touching him without permission before, which he completely forgave. Live and let-live and all that.

But that was all past-tense. Right now, right this minute, why Bronze was so happy? “I am so bucking happy to see you finally walking around Ponyville like the good citizen you are Zecora.” Bronze gushed for, probably, the tenth time. Zecora, while having already established goodwill with the town for actively helping the hospital and clinics with her remedies and recipes (if safe for less-experienced hooves) that cured most, if not all ailments if the ingredients, the methods, and the prescribed use were followed; had never just gone into town for a casual visit like this.

“I must admit my dear, I feel you were right about the foolishness of my fear.” Zecora said as she looked around the town for once, instead of simply following a planned route to a destination as she and her coltfriend simply went for a trot about town. It warmed her heart to have ponies waving to her, saying hello, and even thanking her for something one of her remedies had helped them with. “I wish I had mustered the courage to come to town, my loneliness was indeed causing me to frown.”

“I’m just glad I don’t have to meet up with you at your hut, or at AJ’s for once. What say we go on a real date? Like to dinner and a movie? No, too soon for that, movie and a dinner? Lunch? Oh~ why do I have to be so bad at-.” Zecora shut her nervous stallion up with a kiss on the cheek, making his wings flutter and him to snort with a bashful grin as he turned away.

“You have nothing to do to make me happy, even if such a thing sounds quite sappy.” Zecora said, turning his head to her, nearing his lips with her own velvety ones. “But a kiss perchance? It has been a while since I have last tasted your lips.”

Zecora closed in, and they both passionately, and slowly enjoyed a deep kiss, and she gasped in through her nose when his tongue practically barreled past her own, into her throat with ease, making her groan and pull away, her lips squeezing his long prehensile tongue as they pulled away from each other a full 18 inches before she could gasp in through her mouth, blushing, panting in surprise at him as Bronze blushed in embarrassment and slurped his tongue in, getting some hoots and hollers from the ponies nearby, and the two were thankful no foals were around to see such an unexpectedly intimate action.

“...I’ve heard of tonsil hockey...but that was more like me throwing a successful Hail Mary in a foofball game….” Bronze weakly chuckled, before Zecora grabbed his mouth and opened his jaws wide before pulling his tongue out, getting him to grunt in pain as, when just a slight tug was exerted, his tongue actually went out a whole two feet, but it ached not having the bit of tongue left to pull the rest in, feeling like it was stuck outside and made him blush even harder, feeling...oddly exposed.

“I have heard many tales of the thestrals and their nighttime prowess, and I speak of more intimate matters.” Zecora said, dropping her rhymes as she practically examined his tongue like it was an exotic snake, running a hoof along it, making Bronze shiver in unexpected pleasure, the caress of her hoof being as if it was on his groin rather than on his tongue, and oddly, he tasted her rather than the dirt her hoof had been on. “I hear thestrals use their tongues mostly to aid in ferreting bugs out of their holes, or drinking nectar from otherwise poisonous night flowers, and thankfully due to the size they don’t need the extensive hairs that real bat tongues have. However...there are other holes I understand they enjoy to eat out of.” Zecora gave Bronze smokey eyes, the stallion shrinking in on himself as he darted his eyes around at the intrigued and amused ponies.

“Zehowa...puls nawt imn pubwic….” Bronze’s heart was racing, he was so nervous, he’d already read the pony-sutra front and back by now to be familiar with how to please a mare. But he was so scared...he didn’t want the idea of him being a...potentially poor performer ruin the great relationship he, Zecora, and Applejack already had.

“Then take us somewhere private beau, I have waited long enough you know.” Zecora teased, moving the tip of his tongue to her lips, and he gasped deeply through his nose as his eyes shrank to pinpricks, and his wings pomfed out hard enough to send air flowing around him. He began panting as she sucked on his tongue, her humming in content as she drew his tongue into her mouth, and began swallowing his tongue echoed into him, melting his mind as his eyes watered, the unusual sensory overload-.

“MMMMMMMMMF~!” Bronze came….

There was nothing nasty, no wet mess, but Zecora had just brought him to orgasm, through his tongue, in public. Everypony was looking on in shock and awe, not even considering the intimate kiss from before would evolve like this, most baffled that anypony could either have a tongue that long to begin with, or that it could act as another form of pleasure. “...I gotta ask my thestral friend if that’s a thing!” Somepony remarked, and it snapped the crowd out of their trance into looking away as Bronze collapsed to the street on his chest, Zecora following him as she was still holding his tongue prisoner in her mouth and throat, smiling around him cheekily and a glint of mischief in her eyes as she swallowed him a bit deeper, making him jolt as she kept swallowing until their lips met, her neck visibly bulging at the throat as his ‘Adam’s Apple’ had completely vanished and his own throat had thinned out.

However, the look in her eyes was both a warning, and a promise. She wasn’t done with him. So being the sensible one to avoid further public humiliation, he warped them to her hut.

[@]

“YES! YES! Taste my nectar~!” Zecora cried out in rapture as she mashed her plot against Bronze’s face as he in turn mashed her face into her bed, the stallion driven almost mad at her taste as he drove his tentacle-tongue deep into her twitching passage, rapidly pulling his tongue into his mouth to swallow the liquid ardor and dart back at a pace that would’ve hurt his jaw if he apparently wasn’t genetically inclined to be able to do such a thing.

Bronze was hazy on what exactly happened leading up to this point. He remembered pleasure so intense it was blinding, of his tongue tasting her all over, filling him with her scent and taste to the point she was everything, his whole world. Nothing existed besides the mare he was worshiping with his tongue. Not to mention she tasted amazing, and he felt an odd instinct, a desperation to satisfy a thirst his body was suddenly alerted to as he drank her essence and fondled her flanks and plot with his hooves, his wings stuck straight out into the air as her tail mixed with his mane.

“AH~!” Zecora cried, her inner walls clenching on him and keeping him inside her for the moment. He’d lost count of how many times she’d interrupted his feeding like this, gasping, panting, whinnying. “S-stop! Oh~ let me rest!” She pleaded, and Bronze’s tufted ears bent back, but he slowly allowed his tongue to pull out of her vagina as she loosened up, and with a slurp he hummed as he savored her flavor in his mouth, sweet, and tangy~...before swallowing the last gush of cum she’d given him, the mare was already collapsed, boneless on her bed as Bronze stretched and sighed in content as she moaned in afterglow.

“Oh~ Zecora...you are divine….” Bronze rubbed his slightly bulging stomach. He’d been at it for long enough he wasn’t sure how many orgasms she’d had, or how many he’d had, considering he’d blanked out enough times from the mind-numbing surges of pleasure his tongue granted him. Also he was literally eating her out. He drank and drank her savory, delicious cum to the point he felt rather full. ‘Is it natural for mares to produce this much lubrication? Or does my tongue stimulate the glands more than usual?’

“I just regret us...not doing this sooner….” Zecora weakly panted out, coated in sweat, which Bronze then began instinctively lapping up, starting around her groin, making her moan. “N-no more~....”

“I am just cleaning you up my tangy treat. Your sweat is quite salty-sweet and a nice follow-up.” Bronze teased as he continued to run his long tongue over her in broad swipes, groaning at her flavor, and his fangs elongated as he felt the carnal desire to bite her, which he began to do until she instinctively kicked him off the bed when she felt his teeth about to penetrate her flank, leaving him on the floor, blinking.

“No marking me back there love. I am more than just a snack for you.” Zecora cooed, her mohawk having matted from all the sweat, so she moved her mane away from her neck as she looked at him with her signature smokey eyes. “Mark me here, at the crook of my neck. Taste my blood so you’ll always come back.”

Before he could think, Bronze pounced on her invitation, sinking his fangs into her neck on her right side near the back of her neck, making her shout in pain, groaning until she felt him sucking, drinking a few gulps before he let go, panting and watching in shock as the wound rapidly scabbed over. “W-what did I just do?!”

“You’ve marked me as your mate Bronze. And I am quite pleased we’ve finally reached this stage in our relationship. Now I am truly yours.” Zecora cooed, shifting further into her bed and patting the space in front of her. “Come. Rest with me love.”

“I didn’t hurt you? Th-that wasn’t...wrong? And where did it come from?” Bronze asked as he yawned, his jaw finally starting to feel sore as his long session, his first session at that, caught up with him. So he crawled into the modest bed, tangling his legs with the zebra and nuzzling her as he pondered levitating the sheets over them, but figured they were more than warm enough as it was.

“Seeing what became of you, I had done my research. There are more thestrals in Zebrica than in Equestria due to us not shunning them as often as most ponyfolk do. I read in one of my books that some thestrals, rather than indulge in their omnivorous appetites, find a safer substitute in the excretions of the opposite, or sometimes same, sex of consenting partners.” Zecora then moved her mouth to the base of his neck, biting him with her blunt teeth, and Bronze cried out in ecstasy as some sort of primal instinct screamed out in rapture at the action, making him pant into her mane as she licked the bruised skin under his fur.

“W-wow...looks like I wasn’t the only one doing my anatomy studies.” Bronze chuckled, groaning when she moved up his neck and began nibbling his ear. “Zecora...unless you want a different kind of snake in you, you’d better cut it out….”

Zecora chuckled at his warning, backing away to press her nose against his. “I know, I was just feeling a little mischievous, you know for you I am so devious.” She smooched his nose, and they nuzzled. “But you’re right. We’re both tired, and should not press our endurance too much. We’ve been at it for over an hour.” Bronze bolted out of bed, making her blink as he checked her wooden sundial that was mystically enchanted with an eternal shadow moving on it, tracking time.

“Viv! I’ve gotta go pick her up from school! Or at least know where she’s going! Bye Tangy, I’ll see you later!” Bronze suddenly vanished, leaving Zecora laughing. His face was still soaked in her juices….

[@]

Bronze was so glad he thought ahead and warped into the town park’s public stallion’s restroom to clean up before warping to Ponyville Elementary just in time to hear the bell ring and he let out a breath in relief before moving to sit next to Thunderlane, a rather well-build dark gray-black pegasus stallion with a light blue mohawk and Cutie Mark similar to Dash’s only the cloud was dark and the lightning was plain yellow.

Thunderlane blinked and sniffed the air, before looking at Bronze with a raised eyebrow. “Bro. You gotta get a stronger shampoo. Don’t want to have to explain the birds-n-bees because a foal asks why you smell so sharp.”

Bronze blushed, he couldn’t tell, but then again he was snout-deep in a mare’s snatch for an hour…. “Uh...sorry. It was actually my...first time.” Bronze admitted, and the stallion switched gears to a grin and a gentle punch to the shoulder.

“Nice~! Who’s the lucky mare?” Thunderlane asked jokingly as he watched the stream of foals for his little brother Rumble.

“Zecora.” Bronze said easily, he knew, especially from her starting it with an audience, that Zecora wouldn’t mind, and the pegasus gawked at Bronze. “What?”

“That smexy exotic mare? You did that?” Thunderlane asked ambiguously, since the foals going to their parents were reaching earshot.

“Um, yeah? She, I and Applejack have been seeing each other for months now.” Bronze admitted as he turned his gaze back to the tide of foals and spotted Vivian exiting the schoolhouse while chatting with Apple Bloom, Sweetie, and Scoots. The three fillies apparently rarely even talked to each other before Vivian garnered their attention if what he heard from her and the three filly’s older siblings was true.

Well, sort-of older sibling if Rainbow’s occasional gushing over her number-one fan was anything to go by.

“Whoa, I see the Prince already landed himself two big numbers. Well good luck. I hear just one is trouble.” Thunderlane joked as his brother approached and they both walked away as Vivian approached with her friends.

“Dad, can I go hang out with my friends? Sweetie says her sister said she could bring friends over today.” Vivian asked. As for her calling Bronze dad so soon, she said it felt wrong not to call him that, since she already called Brave Wings her dad….

“Rarity’s alright with it?” Bronze double-checked with Sweetie Bell, who nodded with a smile. The three fillies were already aware of his close relations with their siblings, especially Apple Bloom since she already considers him an older brother figure beings Bronze has dinner with her family often. “Alright then. You just be home before sundown cub.” Bronze leaned down to nuzzle her lovingly, and she breathed out and waved her talon in front of her face.

“Were you at a party or something? You smell like Brave when he came back from a big party sometimes.” Vivian asked, getting Bronze to blush.

“Y-yeah! A party! Yeah...you have fun.” Bronze warped away, breathing out in relief that he escaped that potential can of worms. ‘You’d think that having been Robin, having seen the seedy underbelly of crime, that she would be more knowledgeable of adult activities. At least it seems Brave Wings did a good job of censoring that as much as possible.’

“Well howdy!” Bronze blinked, realizing he’d instinctively warped to Sweet Apple Acres, beings he does that often. “Good to see ya Bronze, Ah-WHEW! What is that sharp smell?” Bronze turned to see Applejack rubbing her snout, and Bronze folded his ears back as he chuckled meekly.

“Uh...good news AJ….” Bronze started, but paused, getting her to raise an eyebrow. “I kinda...ate Zecora out...for an hour...yeah….” AJ’s jaw dropped as she gawked at him, and he grinned weakly before an apple fell on his head, spearing onto his horn. “Ow, geez. That was unlucky.” Bronze sniffed the apple, his eyes dilating, before his long tongue moved out and up to the juicy fruit, slowly running his tongue over the juice running down his fluted horn, before slowly lifting it off, still zoned out as AJ blushed at the show.

“Uh...Bronze?” Applejack asked worriedly as his tongue drew the apple in, and his jaw opened wide as his teeth elongated, and bit into the punctured fruit. What AJ saw made her eyes widen in terror as the plump apple rapidly shriveled into an empty husk, and his dilated slit eyes shrank into thin slits as a visceral hiss climbed up his throat. “Oh no...mah coltfriend is a Fruit Bat~!” AJ wailed as Bronze suddenly leapt at the nearest tree, AJ running to get help.

[@]

“Oh~...ugh...what happened?” Bronze asked weakly as his crusty eyes tried to force their way open, groaning as he moved his hooves to his heavily bloated belly. “Eugh...what did I eat? And why so much?”

“Mah apples. And cuz Ah assume you’re easily addicted to fruit sugars or somethin’ Twi said to that fashion.” Applejack’s voice cut into his thoughts, getting Bronze to finally wrench his crusty eyes open to see he was in AJ’s bed with a cold compress on his head and some sort of oil rubbed into his excessively distended belly as he lay on his back with pillows keeping him in the position. “Ah tell ya, finding out you’re more a Fruit Bat than a Vampire Bat was a shocker.” Bronze was staring at her and her expression of mixed worry and annoyance.

“Oof...sorry. I’ve been eating meat, so what are you saying?” ‘Does kinda explain why Viv said not to eat fruit….’

“Twi said some thestrals take more after Fruit Bats and others Vampire Bats. Didn’t think ya’ll found juice more attractive than blood.” Applejack chortled, rubbing his sloshing distended belly, making Bronze moan as she blushed. “But...Ah think Ah like ya’ll bloated up and helpless. Kinda reminds me of when ya was a squishy tub a lard~.” Applejack cooed, making Bronze groan as she rubbed his belly and jiggled it. “Ah miss having a hand to squeeze with sometimes. Guess Ah’ll have to settle for this.” AJ grinned as she pressed in on his aching stomach, making Bronze grunt in pained relief.

“AJ, I don’t think this is a good time to-mmf?!” Bronze suddenly found his face in a very familiar place, AJ was sitting on his face.

“Ah don’t think yer full enough yet~....” Applejack growled as her tail moved to the side so she could look back at him as she hugged his huge belly, her grin feral and controlling. “Git lickin’ big colt.”

‘Mommy….’

I've Been Having Too Much Juice....

The less said about what AJ and Zecora have done to Bronze the past several days the better. But as a hint, it involved bullwhips, lots of rope, some enhancement potions for his stamina, and being subjected to impulsively gorging on older apples about to be made into preserves so he was helpless to resist sometimes. And now he was paying the price….

“I’m fa-ha-ha-ha~t!” Bronze wept to Rarity, Twilight and Trixie at Rarity’s boutique after telling them his woes. The three were actually spending the day together and were planning to go pick up Fluttershy soon for a spa date. “They won’t stop feeding me! I can’t resist AJ’s apples and Zecora’s potions are doing weird things to me! LOOK!” Bronze turned to the side and jumped his rear legs a bit, the mares blushing at how much his once-toned plot jiggled. “They’ve gone insane! They won’t leave me and my sexy tongue alone~!”

“W-well dear, I will be the first to admit that this is quite unfair to you, but consider it from their perspective. You’re essentially an embodiment of some of their strongest fantasies. So they’ve clearly had a lapse in judgement. You need to sit them down and remind them that you’re their special somepony, not just a stud to use and abuse.” Rarity said as she bit her lip, Bronze had gotten a bit pudgy, sure, but whatever Zecora was doing, he was now taller than her and the other mares and his wingspan was larger.

“Yes, and if you can’t convince them to cut back on indulging in, well, you, then I’ll organize an intervention. I don’t want your health to take a downturn just because your special someponies realized you could eat them out like a machine.” Twilight said, getting a bonk on the head from a faintly blushing Trixie. “Oh, sorry, that was inappropriate.”

“But it’s true though. Thanks girls. I’ll try to draw AJ away from her orchard so she can’t ambush me with succulent apple pulp or splash juice on me to get me going. It’ll be tougher to get Zecora away from her hut so she can’t shove potions in my face and flutter her gorgeous aqua eyes to get me to go along with it.” Bronze grumbled as he turned to head out, all three mares staring after his jiggly, but still oddly tight, plot.

“...Trixie is simultaneously disgusted by his plight...yet incredibly turned on by dat plot.” Trixie admitted as she summoned illusionary sunglasses and bit her lip, getting embarrassed agreements from the other two unicorns, who then laughed at catching the reference. The Internet was funny.

[@]

“Okay, how can I get them away from their sanctuaries of pleasure-slash-torment?” Bronze mumbled as he trudged to his usual meeting place with Bulk, considering his marefriends more-or-less monopolized his time so heavily the past week that he hadn’t been able to work out with him, Dash, or Gilda, and was barely even able to make time to pick up Vivian who was starting to get comfortable getting around on her own, so he wouldn’t have that excuse to get away from being ambushed by his silly smexy marefriends soon.

Then there was Mane-iac, who was starting to recover enough to actually try going out in public without a chaperone, but she needed somepony to encourage her at first and take baby-steps from there, and beings he had been the one to put her up someplace, Bronze felt it only reasonable he do that for her too, but he had to get his mares off his flanks long enough to do it.

“BRONZE!” Bronze flinched at Bulk’s emphatic shout as he came within view of their weight-training area by Whitetail Woods. “YOU’VE BEEN SLACKING BRO!”

“I know Bulk, and dang do I regret it, even if it was enjoyable.” Bronze sighed as he poked his bloated barrel. “So, let’s get to it. I’m going to double-up my cardio but I still wanna work on my muscles to help get some of my tone back.”

“YEAH~! GET ON THE BENCH!” Bulk cheered as Bronze rushed over to the overly muscular pegasus’s bench press, and Bulk got into spotting position just as Bronze began benching a respectable 75 pounds. “YEAH~! PUMP IT!” It might not be much to almost any pony, but Bulk was earnest in easing Bronze up the scale as his health improved. “Hm...you seem to need; MORE WEIGHT!” Bronze let the bar rest on it’s stand, and Bulk quickly added on another five pounds, but when Bronze just kept going, Bulk quirked his head thoughtfully. “MORE WEIGHT!”

Bronze was perplexed, it seemed that no matter how much weight Bulk put on the bar, Bronze could lift it just fine. ‘What the hell? Why am I...Zecora! You sly evil enchantress!’ “Bulk. I think-.”

“ZEBRA SHENANIGANS!” Bulk shouted, making Bronze cringe, but the alicorn was surprised to see the pegasus grinning. “Zebra stamina boosters and muscle enhancers. All natural, all benefit without nasty side-effects beyond retaining fat easier, and a boosted libido.” Bronze blushed at Bulk’s knowing grin. “It’s alright bro. Zebra remedies are known to be the best on the market, and there’s no shame with taking a safe health booster. I would’ve had some myself if I hadn’t already had a natural Talent for getting HUGE!” Bulk boasted with pride as he flexed his whole body.

“Well, I don’t know what to do then. Are there any exercises I can do to find my limit?” Bronze asked, and Bulk shook his head.

“Nah bro, there’s no equipment I got that can test that out. In all reality, considering your genes and how many your mare might’ve been making you chug, you might just be as physically strong as me, or as powerful as Princess Celestia for all I know.” Bulk shrugged, making Bronze wilt. “Hey bro, you can still come and lift with me if you want, you just don’t have to so often now. But now if you want a massage, you’ll have to put in an appointment with Aloe and Lotus first.” Bulk grinned, and they bumped hooves. “You go on and get in your cardio with the girls.”

“Thanks Bulk, you were an exceptional personal trainer and you’re a great friend. How about you, I, and Big Mac all go for a night on the town sometime?” Bronze asked, getting an emphatic-

“YEAH~!” Bulk agreed, before getting on the incredibly heavy 250 pound bar that Bronze had been at and began pumping it with ease. “SEE YA LATER BRONZE! ONE! TWO! THREE-!” Bronze warped away before he could start laughing at his buddy, figuring the field he usually met Dash and Gilda for his lessons would be a good spot only….

Bronze blinked. “Why is Dash making a rainbow tornado? I thought her Wonderbolt practice was in the morning before work….” Bronze mused aloud as he cluelessly watched the commotion that oddly included his other friends, until Pinkie Pie ran into the mess from someplace, promptly lost a couple of cymbals to the tornado, and the thing fell apart with Rainbow being thrown head-over-hoof through the air along with what looked like innumerable randomly colored balls, but he swapped her with the air just above the ground before she could pick up more momentum, and she crashed into him with an ‘oof’, sending them tumbling with her ending up on top of him. “Dash. We need to stop meeting like this.”

“Ow, yeah. You’re a nice landing pad colt, but I don’t wanna break something cuz dang. Whatever you’ve been eating, it’s made you really dense.” Rainbow hissed as she pulled away and off of the surprised stallion as she nursed her shoulder. “Buck, it was like I just shoulder-checked a boulder, and I’ve done that before.”

‘What? But how could I...Zecora...I’ve got to demand what she’s been doing to-.’ Bronze’s attention was taken by Applejack yanking Bronze to his hooves, the rest of his friends all gathering around them.

“Bronze! Use yer fancy warp magic to contain them varmints!” Applejack pleaded frantically, getting Bronze to realize the multi-colored balls were actually ball-shaped bugs.

“Sure.” Bronze’s horn began rapidly flashing, and soon all the critters were gathered into a closer area that he then wrapped his dark blue aura around, rapidly drawing them in tighter until compressing them with a sickening squelching crunch that turned the blue orb purple with blood, causing everypony to gawk at the brutal extermination with shock, Bronze included. “WHAT THE FLYING FLOCK?!” Bronze screamed out in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “I wasn’t even trying to do that!”

“Bronze! You just exterminated an entire plague’s worth of pests like it was nothing! I thought you weren’t focusing on your magic studies yet!” Twilight gushed as she teleported up to him, Bronze just now realizing he was still compressing the orb of dead bugs, and let the grisly remains fall to the grass, where Fluttershy promptly hovered over and wept about until Gilda guided her away. The two had surprisingly bonded recently, Bronze had yet to hear about how that happened.

“Twilight, I haven’t! This past week, the only change to my routine has been...um….” Bronze looked to AJ with a fierce blush, and the mare oddly looked...guilty? “AJ...do you know what Zecora’s been coaxing me into drinking?”

“Eenope!” Applejack scrunched her muzzle as her eyes unconvincingly looked everywhere but at him.

“AJ, you’re the worst liar I know besides Rainbow Dash. Spill.” Bronze practically demanded as Pinkie was complaining about something away from the group about ‘ruining her one-pony-band gig’.

“Zecora’s been feedin’ ya special brews that’ll speed-up yer...development….” Applejack blushed fiercely. “Yer just a colt right now she says. Usin’ them hydra glands you helped her get, she was able to figure out with samples of yer hair that usin’ some of her in-progress tonics wouldn’t hurt ya beyond a temporary bit of weight gain.” AJ kicked a hoof at his and Twilight’s gawking, Twilight was taking notes however. “She said ya needed lots of food, so Ah decided to keep gettin’ ya nice and full on older apples...and also so Ah could play with yer belly while it’s all sloshy and soft….”

“So wait. Bronze is rapidly growing, literally both physically and magically, into his potential as an alicorn?” Twilight eagerly needled AJ, who shrugged but nodded. “I’ve got to tell Celestia when she gets here! Soon you’ll be towering over us again Bronze! Maybe even bigger than the Royal Sisters if you’re lucky!”

“...Well...this does kinda explain more than recently too...like why I’ve been eating so much and hardly gaining any weight until this past week. And what was that about auntie?” Bronze asked, only for his sensitive ears to perk and he turned his attention to the sound of flapping wings and saw Celestia’s personal chariot flying in, but change direction towards them upon likely being seen. “Oh, right...she was supposed to be visiting today casually.”

“Is everypony alright?!” Celestia practically screamed as she neared, getting Bronze to flinch. “What caused all this blood? Is anypony hurt?!” Celestia frantically asked as her chariot landed and she jumped out, her hitched guards unhitching and flanking her in the air on alert.

Being the one most calm about the situation, Rarity tried to explain. “The blood is Bronze’s doing Princess. He-.”

“-Slaughtered so many innocent little buggies~! WA~ HA, HA, HA~!” Fluttershy wept, making Bronze shrink in on himself as Celestia blinked in shock at Fluttershy’s uncharacteristic outburst.

“I could’ve ended it without bloodshed, but unfortunately I’m the episode’s Just Ignore It target. FYI, I’m still going to do a one-mare-band. I just need a couple of cymbals and some maracas.” Pinkie pointlessly filled in.

“Princess Celestia. We were just victims of a plague of pests that were eating all of the food in town, and I mean all of it. We tried our best, but the solution came in the form of Prince Bronze Brave when he came into the situation, and unintentionally crushed them all to death with his telekinesis after rounding them up.” Twilight informed her mentor as Bronze tried to hide his larger bulk behind Applejack. “Also thanks to the conjoined efforts of Applejack and Zecora, his growth and overall capabilities have accelerated greatly, so they may have found a way for young alicorns to grow physically and magically into their aspects.”

“Truly?” Celestia asked, clearly impressed at the idea as she looked to Applejack. “I have heard many good things about this Zecora from my sister, beings she was one of the first to befriend her upon her return. Could you take me to this zebra shamaness immediately? As for my visit Twilight, I was originally going to have to cancel due to what seems to be a similar problem in Trottingham, but the local guard forces there have handled it capably. I will need to review the local guard contingent’s performance regarding this matter. As for the moment, take the time to relax or clean up the town if you wish, I was just coming to see how you were all doing anyhow.”

“Thank you Princess. We’ll get to cleaning things up, those bugs made a real mess of things.” Rarity said as she led the still despondent Fluttershy away alongside Gilda. The rest of the group all headed to town as well save Applejack and Bronze.

“Now then. I believe you and this Zecora have much to explain regarding using unsanctioned and possibly untested concoctions on my nephew.” Celestia did a 180, her gaze piercing and demeanor imperious as she glared down at Applejack, the mare and her stallion both cowering even though Bronze wasn’t the target of his aunt’s anger.

[@]

“It’s that simple?” Celestia asked in surprise as she closely examined a milky blue potion that Zecora had calmly offered up. Celestia had immediately forced Applejack and Bronze go lead her to Zecora’s hut, and once there, grilled the completely at-ease zebra about the situation. Zecora was more sheepish than ashamed or worried.

“Indeed Your Majesty, I would not endanger Bronze’s safety. I had been developing this potion with the notion of speeding along my mate’s recovery, but I had also made quite the discovery. It would seem that due to alicorns having such powerful natural regeneration that causes their immortality, that applying hydra’s accelerated regeneration merely coincided with it and increased capability. Come beloved.” Zecora waved the both worried and curious stallion over to her. “Would you allow me to harm you? For demonstration? I can assure you that you will be fine.”

“O-okay Tangy, whatever you say. I trust you.” Bronze said as he held out a hoof, and Zecora bit into him, making him hiss as she used her flat teeth to break the skin and moved away so everypony could see the bleeding injury, and the way it rapidly crusted over and flaked off to reveal no injury within the span of a minute shocked all of them. “Holy buck! I have a healing factor?!”

“That was impressive! I haven’t seen anything like that outside of regeneration spells.” Celestia praised as she used her magic to scan the beaker of potion she had been looking at before. “Hm...the only concerning ingredient is the hydra excretion, but Bronze has been taking this potion daily for a week by now. Any negative effects would’ve made themselves apparent, and the only one I can see is a bit of weight gain. But if this continues, his natural alicorn genetics should end up repurposing the fat due to his metabolism. The only reason I got fat at all was because of centuries of constantly eating cake.” Celestia giggled, only mildly missing her big jiggly plot over her currently svelte and muscular one.

“So we’re not in trouble Princess?” Applejack asked worriedly, getting a snort of amusement out of the pink-maned princess as she shook her head.

“Not at all. In fact. I believe Bronze’s cousin, Cadence, would greatly benefit from this potion as well. Are you capable of producing twice the amount so you can also supply one more alicorn, Zecora?” Celestia asked with a grin, getting the zebra to mirror it with her own beaming grin.

“Princess, I have enough ingredients to supply you and your sister too if you had need of it.” Zecora stated, getting Celestia to start talking business, considering she wasn’t going to force Zecora to produce an ‘alicorn booster’ without at least some compensation.

[@]

“And that’s why I’m bigger so fast Viv.” Bronze finished explaining as he continued to stuff himself with the massive dinner Jeeves had delivered comprised of a mix of vegetables and meats for himself and Vivian to enjoy, while Mane-iac was in the small hall bathroom, soaking in a bath that had a whole bottle of watermelon shampoo dumped in it. The mare’s body actually took nutrition from hair products as ridiculous as it seemed. She could eat normal pony food, sure, but she still needed to have daily baths with a whole bottle of shampoo added to keep her body stable.

“Whoa, so I wasn’t just imagining you getting a little taller over just a few days. Wish I could grow that fast.” Vivian snorted before she dove her beak back into the roasted rabbit she was gleefully stripping the meat off the bones with her talons and beak. “Mm...I’m just so glad to have meat again. Brave Wings was always so secretive about he and I getting meat smuggled into the mansion. Like we were committing a crime, pfft.” Vivian reminisced as she cracked open a bone to suck on the marrow.

“Hey now, don’t be growing up too fast cub. I don’t think I could handle two of us having an appetite this big.” Bronze joked, knowing that was false since Jeeves was mostly raiding the safe storages and underground bunker’s food on Terra for this, and it’d take several years for just him and any others he has over having feasts like this to deplete it, even if the majority were MREs, which made great light meals or snacks.

“Yeah, right. But what about Shampoo?” Vivian asked, getting Bronze to blink at her odd question. “Oh right, you haven’t gotten to talk to her today. Mane-iac finally decided on her name, beings she can’t remember what it used to be before the vat. She decided on Shampoo, considering she loves it so much.”

Bronze suddenly vanished, his scream of ‘NO WO AI NI~!’ echoing through the whole mansion, and shortly after the whole turkey of the meal was gone as well to wherever he was taking shelter, making Vivian roll her eyes at her foster father’s antics.

Author's Note

Remember the Hydra? :twilightsmile:
Remember the Glands? :twilightsheepish:
Well, here's the results. :twilightblush:

Bet some of ya thought I forgot Zecora's plans for those things huh? :duck:

So I Have Mother's Day Twice a Year?

Twilight was calmly reading her tablet in her library off in the reading nook. The mare had taken to reading anything and everything she could off the internet since she’d already read all the books in the library anyway. Right now she was browsing Wikipedia which she did often, reading anything and everything she wasn’t familiar with already. Especially since it was already being constantly added to by herself and other intelligent persons across the world thanks to Celestia and Luna fast-tracking the wifi towers, especially Luna since she was still on her world tour.

She was so caught up in it, in fact, that-.

“TWILIGHT! HOLY BUCK!” Bronze screamed with utter joy as he burst into her home, making her yelp and fumble with her tablet as she lost her magical grip on it at the sudden interruption of her learning. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME PONIES CELEBRATED HALLOWEEN?!”

“What?” Twilight asked in confusion as she looked up at the statuesque stallion. Ever since he hit his supposed ‘last’ growth spurt earlier in October, Bronze had shot up to be a head taller than his mom and aunt, but he was very gangly and thin for the moment since he had to bulk up some more even though he was just as physically strong as his mom and aunt already. “Oh, right. Your world’s Halloween, All Hallows Eve and Day of the Dead were all celebrated on the same night as Nightmare Night, with similar overall customs.”

“Yes! And not only is it named after my mom’s short scary legacy, it’s also essentially my favorite holiday!” Bronze gushed, the tall stallion’s more developed face not really suited to the expressions he was making without it being creepy since he was mostly skin and bones with very lean muscle at the moment.

“Yes...but it isn’t until tomorrow.” Twilight pointed out, and Bronze twitched. “You just found out right now, and now you’re going crazy with anticipation, aren’t you?” Twilight asked in exasperation. Bronze was only slightly less frustrating than Pinkie Pie when he was extremely excited for something.

“Aren’t you excited?! So much cookiescandycakeicecreamcostumesscares-!” Bronze was silenced by Twilight’s magic grabbing his muzzle, but he still continued on even while muzzled, and she quirked her eyebrows before letting go. “-andit’ssosteepedinhistory-wait.” Bronze paused, a thought coming to his mind. “How does mom feel about this?”

“Considering it’s named after her short reign of terror? Probably very negatively.” Twilight bluntly stated.

“Oh no~! Now I have TWO moms who hate my favorite holiday~!” Bronze wailed in despair, falling back in a dramatic faint as he summoned his own alicorn-sized black velvet fainting couch from wherever it was before. “Oh woe is me! I wished to enjoy this Nightmare Night with mother! Terrorizing-I mean, playing with other ponies and watching the foals have a wonderful time!”

“I thought you hated pranks?” Twilight asked idly as she went back to her tablet.

“Not on Halloween! It’s the only night where everything goes! So long as the cops don’t show up, or nobody gets hurt, it’s all in bad fun.” Bronze beamed, then pouting at seeing Twilight focused on her tablet again. “Twi, you’re gonna have to get glasses if you keep using that thing.”

“No more than if I kept reading books instead Bronze. Also Princess Luna wants to speak with you.” Twilight informed as she turned her simple black tablet around to reveal an IM she was apparently having with Luna. “She’s in Shireland right now, which, ironically, has perhaps the biggest Nightmare Night celebrations to date, considering they actually have the oldest traditions with the holiday.”

“You mean like Ireland from my world with their originally Gaelic culture having something similar called Samhain? A feasting holiday representing the end of autumn and the start of winter, where they slaughtered livestock and stored preservatives for the harsh times ahead.” Bronze asked, getting Twilight to blink before rapidly flickering her horn as she stared at her tablet.

“Oh wow. Shireland originally used to celebrate Nightmare Night as, in fact; Samhain. Huh. And the satyrs are omnivores and they mostly eat pigs and boars there aside from their starch-heavy diets due to potatoes, rutabagas and other such cultivars being incredibly plentiful there.” Twilight eagerly read up as she fell back into a stupor of learning, making Bronze sigh in exasperation.

“Okay, yeah, whatever. I’m going to go see mom then.” Bronze informed the deaf-to-the-world mare before vanishing along with his fainting couch as if they weren’t there to begin with.

“Is he gone?” Came Trixie’s voice from under the table, making Twilight blush at remembering what she was really up to when Bronze burst in.

“Y-yeah. I got rid of him.” Twilight stammered as she looked under the low table at the powder-blue mare who had her head between the purple mare’s thighs.

“Good, Trixie was getting impatient, now relax and let the Great and Skilled Trixie resume astonishing you.” Trixie teased as she began extending her tongue, making Twilight swallow dryly in anticipation.

[@]

It took a few tries, beings Bronze had never been to Shireland and the geography of Equus was vastly different from Terra’s, but after seven warps, he finally got in the right country, twelve warps got him the right region, and another twenty warps until he got his mom’s location from the locals, who were predominantly satyrs and didn’t bother with any of the prostration he was having to get used to in Equestria, which he was thankful for since it shortened things nicely. ‘Should’ve just asked Twilight where in Shireland mom was. Then getting here to Derry would’ve been a breeze.’ Bronze mentally grumbled irritably, as what should’ve been a few minutes travel ended up taking a half hour of trial and error. ‘Some Alicorn of Space I am if I can’t even pinpoint coordinates, I’ve got to practice that.’

“Hoi! Lookit, some tall pony lad with chaos on his rump.” Bronze blinked in bemusement as he turned his head to notice the guard next to the gate of the large estate his mom was staying at. Satyrs were a surreal race to Bronze, beings they were so like humans it was uncanny and familiar save they all had lower bodies of upright goats just as colorful as ponies or minotaurs, goat or ram horns on the sides of their heads along with goat ears, and they all seemed to have a chronic need to be chewing something or otherwise having something in their mouths, be it a sprig of something, a stick, or the pipe smokers he’d seen thus far. Also they wore at least shirts for the most part, but especially the does for obvious reasons.

“What?” Bronze asked bewilderedly at how he was addressed by the fully dressed and armored guard next to the gate, said guard’s attire being like that of a sort of honor guard with a decorated mixture of leather and steel platemail armor made to be both visually pleasing yet serviceable as it didn’t bother hiding the various pockets and holsters for a variety of spare weapons such as throwing knives, daggers, and what seemed to be small bombs aside from the beautiful shiny black-wood shillelagh the full-helmed guard leaned slightly on. Clearly the weaponized walking stick was meant both as a means for the guards to stand longer, as well as be a deadly and visible warding weapon to nonlethally take down any troublemakers. Or put them down for good.

When you get hit with a genuine shillelagh, it isn’t easy to get back up.

“The pretty lass inside told us her son was comin’ and gave yer description she did. Mentioned ya had our traditional symbol fer chaos on yer backside. Head on in. Poor lass seems depressed despite the pleasant cheer of Nightmare Night on the morrow to anticipate.” The guard cheerily drawled before he stood a bit straighter as he took weight off his shillelagh and firmly clacked the tip on the cobblestone, mysteriously causing the gate to open automatically.

“Um, thanks officer.” Bronze politely nodded to the affable guard as he finally took in his surroundings again as he passed through the open wrought-iron gates to trot up the cobblestone pathway leading up to the beautiful stone keep that served as the home for the city-like town’s Duke and Duchess, passing through the lush green field of grass Shireland, like Ireland, were known for. “Why was there only one guard?”

“Cuz I’m all they need lad.” Bronze yelped as he spun around to see the same exact guard, his spacial awareness informing him that, yes, the guard before him must be the same one, since he was nowhere around the gate, now standing just the same to the side next to one of the fountains nearing the keep.

“How did you do that?! I’m the only one I know of that can do that so seamlessly!” Bronze balked at the nonchalant guard who chuckled jovially.

“Be our magic lad! We satyrs ain’t known fer our blatant magics like you ponies. Be simple runework. Beins ya got a said rune on yer rump I figured ya knew.” The guard laughed as he moved his free left hand to his armored midsection to mime doubling over, making Bronze pout.

“Well sorry if I’ve been a bit busy adjusting to my new life too long to know my brand of magic was already common elsewhere.” Bronze grumbled.

“Oi there, don’t fret. Our magic is limited to runes, enchantments and pre-prepared spells. You can just warp round all willy-nilly I hear, so don’t be put off. Just don’t let Keef, the keep’s court wizard git ya alone. He’ll chat yer ear off askin questions.” The guard warned, before tapping his shillelagh again and the front doors of the keep opened up on their own as well. “In ya go. It’s starting to get a bit nippy here, go and warm yer hide.”

“Thank you kindly.” Bronze smiled at the eccentric guard, getting to see him warp quite smoothly back to his post down outside the now-closing gate. ‘Hm, the rune of my boar is on the knob of his shillelagh, a much smaller one is on the tip of it. I guess my Ring and my Mark really do have seriously deep meaning. And he left the gate open to warp up here, so there’s obviously a ward on the barrier wall to keep satyrs from just warping onto the property.’ Bronze entered the warm interior of the keep, and the doors closed behind him as a satyr butler moved to interact with him.

“Good day to you sir. I shall guide you to your mother’s quarters. This way please.” The tuxedo wearing ram politely bowed slightly before promptly walking him through the foyer and into one of the wings. The keep was a nice counter to the pristine halls of Canterlot Castle, it’s dark gray stones having a more natural and hand-made quality than the magically constructed and seamless palace his mom and aunt called home. Also the Duke’s colors of a vibrant green and gold filled the place in the rugs and tapestries, making it feel very earthy and welcoming, something the imposing Canterlot utterly failed to do.

“How has my mother been? If it isn’t rude of me to ask.” Bronze asked as he looked down at his guide’s head, just realizing he towered over the satyr like he did most all ponies with his regal 7 foot height. ‘Ugh, gotta get used to towering over everyone again. I’ve gotten used to being smaller now, so now this feels awkward. Why can’t I just stay one size from now on?’

“She’s been rather reclusive in her visit with us I’m afraid. Once she learned of Nightmare Night, she became distraught and retreated to her guest room. The poor dear. We don’t hold The Nightmare’s actions against her, but she won’t listen to any of us. I hope perhaps family will help her come to grips with things.” The butler said with his even tone, stopping before a very regal pair of double doors at the end of a long hall, and knocked gently. “Princess Luna. Your son, Prince Bronze Brave has arrived.”

“Let him in.” Luna’s quiet voice answered, worrying Bronze as the butler gently opened the door and bowed for him to enter.

“Thank you.” Bronze whispered as he passed, the butler staying respectfully silent as he gently closed the door. “Mom, what’s wrong?” Bronze quickly but quietly crossed the large bedroom lavishly furnished in the same greens and golds of the rest of the castle to his mom who was sleepily laying in the large bed, only her head out of the covers. The way her eyes were so heavy and with circles so dark even her night-blue coat couldn’t hide them. It made him sad just seeing her.

“Son...will you snuggle with me? To help me sleep? Like before?” Luna asked weakly, the tear stains in her fur telling him she needed somepony, and he quickly opened the blanket to climb into bed and let her hug him to her, burying her face in his chest and dry-heaving tearless sobs. He gently hugged her back, snuggling until she fell asleep, and he decided to join her by switching off his mental switch, letting any of his mental exhaustion pile up and let him quickly fall asleep.

[@]

Bronze came to, laying in a field of lush and soft grass next to his mom with the night sky overhead. “Huh? Weren’t we inside Duke Derry’s keep outside of Derry?” Bronze asked curiously, looking at his mom who couldn’t seem to stop looking sadly up at her moon, which quickly grew overshadowed with the silhouette he’d remembered when he was first in Equestria. “Oh...a dream.”

“It would seem our dark legacy still clings to us, even with our little ponies and the world at large embracing us so openly.” Luna quietly lamented as she leaned against her taller son’s neck, him dutifully supporting her. “They celebrate our dark past as a myth, a bogeymare who haunts the night for innocent foals to gobble up. What’s worse? The whole world apparently celebrates tomorrow night. It is a celebration of life and harvest, of fun and fear for the young, while many remember the fallen with smiles and happy tears. We...are so conflicted over this.”

“Mom. Back home, that night is known by many names. Halloween, All Hallows Eve, Day of the Dead. In the end, they all celebrate exactly what you’ve described, save that you in your possessed state served as an inspiration for the holiday. It could be worse, and the world still openly feared you yourself instead of being mature about it and letting sleeping dogs lie.” Bronze said, getting his mother via reincarnation to sigh sadly.

“We know son. It is just so hard to let go of the past. For a thousand years We were trapped on the moon with that monster. In a way, We suppose We can enjoy that over a millennium the fiend was turned into a foal’s bedtime story rather than the demon she truly was.” Luna snorted in amusement, the dark shadow on the moon fading away. “But the pain isn’t so easily thrown away son. Remember. Regret is one of the hardest things to get over, and to forgive oneself is often harder than forgiving others.”

“I already knew that mom, but I’m glad at least somepony said it to me this time instead of me having to learn it myself.” Bronze nuzzled his mom’s cheek, who nuzzled back, the mother and son content to close their eyes and lean against each other. “I love you mom.”

“I love you too son.” Luna smiled as they rested in the dream, both too content to bother doing anything for the moment. “Hmph, such an odd thing. I had in your previous life, began developing an attraction to you. But now you are my son instead.” Luna grinned, finally addressing the pink elephant in the clearing, who rudely trumpted its trunk at them, turning to the side to reveal the words ‘awkward subject’ on it’s side.

“Yes, it’s quite unusual. I mean, I was also starting to feel attracted to you, then the ascension happened, we instinctively wanted to treat each other like son/mother etcetera. Tried going for siblings, then that went out the window. Best we just face the fact we’re son and mother.” Bronze shrugged his shoulders, before kissing his mom’s cheek, making her giggle. “I just worry I’ll forget my other mother and my dad sometimes.”

“You won’t, even considering you’re essentially your own father is also an odd thing. Explaining to the public about that if they ask is going to be quite a harrowing task.” Luna admitted as she began using her magic to fuss over his shaggy silver mane, making him whine. “Oh hush son, this rat’s nest is unbecoming of a stallion of your station.”

“But trying to tame it is frustrating unless Shampoo does it for me.” Bronze complained. “Besides, this is a dream, doing this here won’t matter.” Bronze reminded his mother, who sighed and left it alone. “Besides that, when will my hair start doing that whole ethereal thing yours and Tia’s does?”

“Either when you begin growing in power to a point your body cannot avoid leaking some out, or when you’re generally ‘old’ enough.” Luna shrugged. “There are not enough of us alicorns around for either I or Tia to really know. We can only use ourselves as examples to base concepts off of.”

“Right.” Bronze nodded, letting them both lull into a moment of silence. “So...does this mean I get to celebrate Mother’s Day twice a year?” Bronze asked impishly, getting Luna to laugh and shove him away playfully.

[@]

*Knock-knock-knock!*

“Coming~!” Twilight called cheerfully, levitating the bowl of candy she’d already had to replenish twice tonight as she straightened out her Clover the Clever costume being that of said historical mage’s signature burlap robes and oversized saddlebags. However, she screamed and jumped away after she opened her door, and NIGHTMARE MOON burst into her library!

“FOAL! YOU THOUGHT US DEFEATED?!” The Mistress of Shadow demanded imperiously as all the lights in Twilight’s home instantly snuffed out, and the purple mare screamed in terror and ran up the stairs as blasts of magic smashed where she’d been before. “Come back Sparkle! I shall have my revenge!”

“No-no-no-no-no! She can’t be back! My tablet! Have to tell Princess Celestia that-AH!” Twilight screamed in horror as a second pony burst out of her bedroom, smashing the door down, and she cowered at realizing who it was in the similar suit of armor to Nightmare, beings he was even taller than the dark mare. “No! She put you under her thrall again Bronze?!”

“My Mistress shall h-h-have-pfft-HA~ ha-ha-ha-ha~!” The ‘enthralled’ Bronze Brave suddenly broke into hysterics, laughing as he pointed at the suddenly confused Twilight. “You should see your face! We got you so good!”

“Son! You hath ruined the act too soon!” Luna declared as she ascended the stairs, her fanged grin and mirthful slit eyes showing no malevolence. “Apologies Lady Sparkle, but our son had such an inspired and devious plan this precious night to prank as many ponies as possible with our terrifying presence.”

Twilight was stunned, gawking at them both, before deflating with a sigh of relief. “Oh thank Celestia. I actually thought that maybe the ambient energies of this hallowed time brought Nightmare back from beyond the veil.”

“Which is just perfect! You’re the 274th pony we’ve pranked who fell for it hook, line, and sinker!” Bronze held out his hoof towards him mom, and half his foreleg disappeared but reappeared hovering in the air near Luna, who hoof-bumped the disembodied limb, and it returned to him as he pulled it out of the distortion of space.

“You’ve pranked that many ponies?” Twilight asked in shock.

“Yes! We seek to break the world record for most pranks in a single Nightmare Night!” Luna declared imperiously as a thestral holding a clipboard hovered up the stairs as he took notes. “We even have an official representative of the Genesis World Record’s book series observing.”

“Princess. I’ve told you that you broke the record over 112 pranks ago.” The thestral stallion stated with some annoyance. “You’ve also broken the record for the number of consecutive successful pranks in a spree, and the record for the number of times a repeated prank has succeeded in a row.”

“Then it is our duty to overachieve and ensure NOPONY can ever attempt to break our record! To the next victims mother!” Bronze crowed as he and Luna cackled and rushed downstairs, the worn-out thestral sighing and lazily giving chase.

Twilight laid in her hallway, noticing all the damage from before was repaired with magic while she was distracted. “...Next year I’m prank-proofing my library.”

Author's Note

Here's a little more world building, a little something silly, just something to read really.

I'm bored and depressed and silly stories are what I crave right now. :pinkiesmile:

Aw, That's so Cute-HIDE THE CHILDREN!

Bronze snorted, waking up after a pleasant night’s sleep. He yawned and nuzzled the warm body in his bed, making her murmur before he got up and stretched himself out, opening his eyes to look down at the beautiful Shampoo who’d been sharing his bed the past month and a half. ‘Always a wonderful thing to see in the morning.’ Bronze mused with a smile at the drooling and adorably soft-snoring large mare that was easily as big as his mom and aunt. ‘I’m glad Twi and Zecora figured out a potion and therapy regimen to continue helping her recover and stopped the rampant growth. Otherwise she’d be even bigger than me.’

Bronze easily strode out of bed, his tall and lithe build was like that of a thoroughbred horse from Saddle Arabia, just enough muscle tone to seem normal, but with very little in the way of bulk. He ended up being naturally built for speed over power, but his strength wasn’t anything to laugh at. The 7-foot tall stallion grumbled at his rat’s nest of a mane and tail before he levitated up a brush and started trying to tame the wild silver hair in vain.

‘Why do I bother trying? Unless it’s Shampoo or Rarity, nopony can seem to get my hair to behave.’ Bronze gave up with a sigh, shaking himself like a giant dog and letting his shaggy and thick hair settle naturally into a layered style. ‘There, done.’

“Mmph...Bronze?” Shampoo asked tiredly as she woke up and lifted her head out of bed to blearily look at him. “Is it morning already?”

“My biological clock and magical sleep-switch say yes dear.” Bronze grinned impishly, getting her to groan.

“I’m sleeping in, you ate me out too hard last night...zzzzz….” She promptly fell back asleep, and the long-tongued stallion snickered as he extended his 3 foot tongue out to leer at it playfully.

“Ook what you donm. You tuckered her oup again.” Bronze joked, moving his tongue in a fashion he might describe as sheepish. His tongue had grown with him, since as his neck grew longer, so did the space in his throat for his tongue. “Oh well, bat’s life.” Bronze easily retracted his tongue and left his luxurious bedroom to travel down the hall towards the dining room, the clocks on the wall having times for all the time-zones of Equus telling him that yes, he is up at his usual time. “Good morning Vivian.” Bronze said as he entered his dining room to see his young griffon charge reading a comic book as she idly ate her meat-based meal. It was a ‘mystery meat’ from his world, but Viv loved the mish-mash of meats so he didn’t object.

“Morning dad.” Viv easily said as she shoved a piece of the loaf of mixed meats into her beak. She’d grown since she came into his life almost 3 months ago, now as big as some of the colts a couple years older than her. She and Gilda assured him it was normal for cubs to hit a growth spurt every year until their majority, but Bronze was worried her peers would make fun of her size like his own did when he was but a human boy, bigger than anyone in his age group.

“So, today’s...Saturday? No school.” Bronze asked his adopted daughter, who nodded as she turned a page of her comic with her clean right talon and took a sip of milk with a straw. It wasn’t just because she preferred a straw though, it was because beaks made drinking from cups and glasses difficult if you weren’t aware enough to avoid the fluids spilling out the corners of your beak. “So what do you and your property-destroying friends have planned today?”

“Ugh, dad! How could we have known a pony-flinging catapult would destroy a house’s wall while leaving the equine projectile completely unharmed? Rumble was wearing a cocoon of pillows for flock’s sake! Ow!” Viv squawked at a blue-aura covered spoon rapidly tapping her beak.

“Language. And what Cutie Mark were your friends even trying to get with that?” Bronze asked skeptically as he levitated an IV pack of de-irradiated blood and sucked some up through the tube. Turns out he shares traits with both vampire fruit bats and plain old vampire bats. Found that out when out in the Everfree with Zecora and impulsively pouncing a cockatrice from behind and snapping it’s neck to suck its blood out without it resisting.

“Daredevil Cutie Marks. I was kinda hoping I’d get Orange Sight from that, but it was a dud. But it was hilarious to hear Button cry like a foal when it was his turn to be launched.” Vivian beamed with a giggle at the memory.

‘Little cub has such a crush on that colt.’ “Yes, yes, that’s all fine and good, but what are you all up to today?” Bronze asked. ‘So I can arrange things to be fixed as soon as possible.’

“Well, nothing really. We’re hanging out with Spike today to celebrate his birthday.” Vivian informed as she put down her comic book and focused more on eating when she saw the time. “In fact, his party’s in a bit, and I have to get my gift for him and go.”

“Oh, Spike’s turning 15 today isn’t he?” ‘He’s a bit old to be socializing with fillies and colts Viv’s age, she’s still 12 as are her friends, but I guess there aren’t really any teenagers he can connect with in town. They’re usually all off haunting their favorite hang-outs or going through a phase before they really find themselves even if they already have their Cutie Marks.’ Bronze mused. ‘Also, he has that very powerful crush on Rarity, the mare won’t turn him down or openly accept his feelings though, that can’t be healthy for a developing young drake.’

“Yeah, and he’s really excited for today. Not only is he getting presents, but we’re all going to hang out all day, include him in our activities. Hey...do dragons have something similar to Marks or Sight?” Vivian asked, making Bronze nod.

“Hoards. Some just hoard treasures like gold, silver and gems, others hoard what many would call trash. Aunt Tia says a dragon’s hoard reflects what kind of being they are. Many are unrepentantly greedy, while others are...more difficult.” ‘I still shiver at the thought of her tale of Voldine, and how she hoarded slaves to do her bidding.’

“Ouch, I hope Spike’s hoard is something nice then, like comic books maybe? He does have a lot of them.” Viv suggested, wolfing down her breakfast and cleaning her talon. “Alright, I’m gone. See ya later pop!”

“Have a good day cub.” Bronze said with a soft smile, which quickly turned into worry once she was gone. “So it’s time then….”

[(x)]

Vivian couldn’t withhold her grin as she dove out of the air and landed in front of the library. Twilight decided to hold Spike’s party there, and in the morning since it was a Saturday and his friends would be free to attend. ‘It sucks we don’t get to hang out with him much, since his mom always keeps him busy.’ Vivian mused as she knocked on the door, getting let in quickly by an excited Spike wearing a lampshade on his head, a running joke he made whenever he actually attended a party.

“Viv! Glad you came.” Spike grinned his sharp teeth from ear-fin to ear-fin. Honestly, he hadn’t seemed to change at all since she’d met him, it made Viv wonder about how dragon’s grew up, since most ponies and griffons would more-or-less be considered adults by his age.

“Of course I did. I brought ya a gift.” Vivian held out the wrapped present, and Spike, surprisingly, politely accepted it and put it on a table with the rest of his presents, before coming back to her. “Why didn’t you open it?”

“I don’t know how griffons celebrate birthdays, or dragons either, but ponies save the presents for after cake usually.” Spike said with a shrug as he led her towards the rest of their friends in the CMC, and some of her classmates who knew Spike well enough to want to come, like Twist. “So what do ya wanna do while the grown-ups are all standing around talking? Play some games?” Spike pointedly turned to Button Mash, who was bouncing on his hooves as he held a ribbon-wrapped Joyboy in his mouth, his gift to Spike so they could play together in his favorite hobby.

‘Oh gosh, he’s so so cute when he’s excited.’ “Sounds like a plan.” Vivian faintly blushed, gladly taking her own Joyboy out of her hammer space, the rest of the CMC besides Applebloom quickly doing so too, and starting a round of Monster Mashers Mobile, one of the things Bronze had brought over and adapted from his old world.

“Ah wish Applejack would let me get a Joyboy. But she says they’re for lazy ponies who can’t make their own fun.” Applebloom grumbles as she sits next to Rumble, watching him play the game.

“{She is simply blind to our ways.}” Button said in the guttural language of the fictional Humgonians from his original favorite game series.

“Whatever he said.” Rumble mumbled as he focused more on the free-for-all match their Joyboys were wirelessly linked into using a dedicated server to take strain off the hoof-held game stations.

“How do you play this?” Spike asked Vivian helplessly as despite the large and open interface, it was more suited to hooves than claws.

“Like this.” Vivian then spent a good amount of time showing Spike how to compensate for his digits compared to how the controls were designed for hooves. By the time they were finished, the adults had gathered around a table in the reading nook, the cake provided was quite large. “Uh...that’s a lot of cake for a birthday party.” Vivian felt the need to say.

“There’s never too much cake!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed with joy as she bounced around the table’s outside as Spike sat at the deepest pocket of the booth. “Now go on Spike, make a wish!”

“Right.” Spike closed his eyes, thought very deeply, and then managed to take an incredibly deep breath, and not send the cake to Celestia when he blew out all the candles. “Okay, everypony, take what you want because the rest is going to Celestia.” Spike grinned, getting everypony but Pinkie and Twilight to look bewildered, and Twilight smirked as Pinkie giggled.

“You bribed her with your birthday cake for something, didn’t you?” Twilight accused while amused.

“Yep! Something special should be arriving once I send her the cake.” Spike was bouncing in his seat, removing 3 large slices from the cake as everyone else took just one, sometimes two, and that still left a lot of the 3 layer cake left. “Stand back, here comes the fire.” Spike warned, before breathing out a stream of green fire that spiraled around the cake, and compressed onto it, before vanishing.

“Wow! That was so cool!” Scootaloo stated as all his friends agreed.

“That was impressive use of your dragon magic Spike, I’m glad to see you’ve been practicing, even if in secret.” Twilight beamed at her assistant, who bashfully scratched behind his head, before burping out a gush of flames that formed into something incredibly beautiful. “Wow! Spike, is that a Water Sapphire?” Twilight gawked at the heart-shaped blue gem, that seemed to give off an aura of calm, and exuded the scent of clean water.

“Yeah! I noticed Rarity’s been feeling down a bit for some reason, so I decided I want to do something nice for her.” Spike held up the gem, gazing into it with affection as Rarity, who was in attendance to chaperone Sweetie Belle, slowly approached the table.

“You used your special day...for me?” Rarity asked in awe as the young teen dragon beamed at her and held out the blue heart-shaped gem, the mare gazing at it with her eyes shimmering. “I-I can’t! It would be so selfish of me!”

“Aw it’s nothing! Besides, this gem is nothing compared to the Rarity I’m giving it to.” Spike cheesed, making several adults aw, the children gag, and Rarity to squeal with joy as she levitated the gift out of his claws and proceeded to nuzzle him.

“Oh~! Spikey Wikey~! Thank you!” Rarity then proceeded to smooch his head, making his scales turn red as he bashfully drank in her joy.

“Well actually...this might be a bit incredible of a coincidence, but since you’ve been such a good dragon this year, I’ve actually gotten you something similar Spike.” Twilight grinned in amusement as she levitated over a present from the nearby fold-out table holding Spike’s gifts. “I figured you would just eat it, but considering the situation….” Twilight opened the box, and levitated out a heart shaped Fire Ruby, making everyone just as transfixed as the bright red gem gave off an aura of warmth, but smelled slightly of burned incense. “I’ve had it sitting in a box of incense to replace it’s normally smokey smell.”

“Wow. Thanks Twilight.” Spike said softly as he accepted the similarly shaped gem, and snickered. “Hey look, we match.” Spike joked as he pressed his new Fire Ruby to Rarity’s new Water Sapphire, and they sizzled as steam was produced, creating a very aromatherapeutic effect that Rarity took a deep breath of.

“My, that is a very relaxing sensation. I’d be quite grateful if you brought your ruby with you so we could sit and have tea while these two precious stones make a soothing atmosphere.” Rarity cooed before kissing Spike on the cheek, making him blush and bashfully play with his tail with a nod.

“Alright, enough with the mushy stuff, we wanna see your other presents!” Scootaloo complained, getting agreements from everypony, that said a certain griffon didn’t share sentiment.

‘Geez, you may be my best friends, but you’re so immature.’ Vivian bemoaned to herself, letting her eyes stray to the brown and orange colt who kept getting her attention with his adorableness.

“Alright, sure.” Spike agreed, though he didn’t seem all that excited for it. He graciously accepted the gifts as he opened them, but he never really seemed beyond excited like even he expected, considering he looked confused, until it was over, and he looked at his birthday’s rewards. “Hey...Twilight?”

“Yes Spike?” Twilight asked as Vivian was the only one besides her patient enough to wait for the birthday drake once the presents were done.

“How come I don’t feel...happy?” Spike asked in confusion as he clutched his Fire Ruby protectively, and looked sadly at the presents. The only reason he was saying anything was because his friends and their chaperones all went about the party to play games led by Pinkie. And because Rarity left too to gush to her other friends about how wonderful Spike was and other things that made his chest flutter, but when he considered his gifts, the only one that mattered was the Fire Ruby.

“I don’t know Spike. Maybe you’ve discovered your Hoard? And things like these don’t apply, but the Fire Ruby does?” Twilight suggested, and Spike pursed his lips as he examined the beautiful jewel, but his sad expression told that wasn’t it.

“No. It’s a beautiful gem, but that isn’t why it’s precious.” Spike looked across the library at Rarity, who was still visibly flaunting the Water Sapphire with joy. “I feel like...like...the emotions behind it. The meaning. The Love. From you, and in part from Rarity, is what makes it precious...makes it Mine….” Spike said with some vindication, his eyes getting sharper and causing Twilight and Vivian to back off. “Is...that what I Hoard? Sentiment?”

Spike asked, and he gasped as suddenly, he surged in size, knocking over the table as he shot up to being the size of Bronze, only he seemed to be a full-grown dragon in miniature, as he had a long slender neck, leading to a pronounced head akin to Durgo the mountain dragon, and even had large wings with a long winding tail, his spade more pronounced. Needless to say the blinking and confused teen dragon caused a shock as everypony all gawked at him. “Well...I guess I really was overdue for a growth spurt.” Spike’s voice was deliciously deep, yet smooth with a hint of roughness to it.

Vivian, and every single female old or wise enough to know of attraction, all dropped their jaws, but Rarity was the hardest hit, dropping her Water Sapphire as she gawked at him with her ears twitching in his direction. “Say something else!”

“Um...she sells sea shells by the sea shore?” Spike said in confusion, but his voice turned the simple tongue twister into a delight for the ears, making all the uncommitted mares squeal, and Twilight rapidly summoned a broom to ward them away from her son/little brother.

“BACK BEASTS! BACK! DON’T MAKE ME GET A STICK!” Twilight blushed as she valiantly fought to protect her charge’s chastity from a tide of estrogen-crazed adults. “Spike! Run! I’ll hold them here!” Twilight dramatically stated with all seriousness. “WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?! THERE’S CHILDREN IN THE ROOM!”

“...I think I know how the male protagonists in those harem manga feel now….” Spike nervously commented as Pinkie had the mind to lead all the children out of the room as did their chaperones. Well, save Rarity, she was dueling with Twilight using a mop to get to who she was proclaiming as her ‘Dragon Prince’.

“I think it’s safe to say Spike doesn’t need to go Crusading for his Hoard now….” Vivian grinned awkwardly as she said this, more or less helping Pinkie draw attention away from the more-or-less adult situation back in the main library.

“Aw, I was looking forward to having crazy adventures with Spike.” Button bemoaned.

“Yeah, having dragonfire around would’ve been a big help, but now he’s grown up all of a sudden.” Applebloom pouted. “Ah had some ideas to use his fire for a boiler or something.”

“Why would we need a boiler?” Sweetie asked curiously.

“For a self-propelled cart, duh? I don’t have the wingpower to pull bigger loads Bloom.” Scootaloo admitted with frustration.

“Well we can just double-up. Teach me to buzz my wings like you do and I could add some wingpower to the scooter.” Rumble suggested, his bigger wings were normal for their age. Nopony talked about Scootaloo’s small wings. It was a sensitive subject.

“Well I can do it because of my...yeah. You can probably do it, but it’d be harder for you. I’ll try to teach you Rumble, but I can’t promise anything.” Scootaloo said with a shrug, and Vivian heard a small dragon roar downstairs beings Pinkie led everyone upstairs to what seemed to be an impromptu activity room, the pink mare seeming a little less energetic for some reason.

“Well, whatever. Let’s just have fun right now. Maybe we can still get Spike’s help for things. He’s not a prudish adult yet.” Vivian suggested, and the group went about playing party games.

Author's Note

Yes, I went there. I don't want Spike's development to be unfairly stunted since in this story he's just turned 15. A 15 year-old in a 'baby's' body? No. I'm not cruel. You can blame Shinigamisparda for his delicious Spike who is quite similar, but has a more broad Hoard, and had his growth spurt in a far more violent setting which is a bit too cliche for my taste (no offense to the epic genius of Sparda) so I went for an out-of-nowhere scheme that will change some of the story's dynamics involving Spike. He's not just some kid anymore after all. :trollestia:

Bronze Vs. Christm-*SLAP*-Ow....

Bronze Vs. Christm-*SLAP*-Ow....

It was winter. There was snow everywhere across Equestria. It was a beautiful winter wonderland as far as the eye could see from atop Battopia and Canterlot. Bronze adored winter, it was his favorite season. He loves the cold, the snow, the crisp sensation it gives, the general peace and quiet that not even the nights of the rest of the seasons can provide.

However, there is just one thing that spoils his mood for this time of year….

“Humbug!”

He hates Christmas….

“Oh come on Bronze! The play is in a few hours, and at this rate we’ll need you to take us all there yourself instead of taking the train!” Twilight pleaded at his bedroom door. Everyone was beyond excited to celebrate a holiday that Bronze didn’t believe in.

“No! I’ll send you all along, but for the last time! I! HATE! CHRISTMAS!” Bronze roared with his Royal Canterlot Voice, hiding and sulking under his bed blankets. ‘Of course, not even a world as wonderful as this is free of the capitalist monstrosity that is Christmas!’

Ever since he was smart enough at about 7-8 years old, to realize that Santa Claus wasn’t a real person, and that the venerated ancient holiday was just a way for corporations to bleed every single person of their money, he hated Christmas. His parents tried to stress the spirit of the holiday, but he knew it was empty, the ‘magic’ never existed, especially by the time he was born into the world. Especially once he realized that his family as a whole, despite staying constantly connected, were about as close as the sun and Pluto! After he reached a certain age, family stopped visiting, relatives stopped caring, it was just more proof of how hollow the holiday was. Because in the end, they ONLY visited out of obligation or tradition.

“Sugarcube, please. We’re actin’ in the play. Can’t you at least come and watch? For us?” Applejack pleaded, making Bronze whimper as he curled tighter under his thick blankets.

“AJ is that fair? Using our relationships to guilt him into something he doesn’t want to do?” Shampoo asked worriedly.

“Indeed it is not, such things the values shall rot. I say we let him wallow in his sorrow. His reasons are his own, let us leave him at home.” Zecora suggested to her companions, and Bronze sighed as he got out of bed and moved to the door.

“No, no. I’ll watch the play. But just so we’re clear, is this thing historically accurate?” Bronze asked as he opened the door and focused on Twilight, who smiled nervously.

“Well, actually. There is a rather raunchy bit that is left out for the sakes of the children. The part involving the ‘Fires of Friendship’ was actually the leaders participating in group hate sex to keep warm.” Twilight blushed with a snicker.

“Whoa, whoa! Ah like ya an’ the girls Twi, but Ah ain’t about to get under any of yer tails!” Applejack flustered as she edged away from Twilight, who just burst out laughing.

“Applejack, I just, pfft.” Twilight giggled as she helplessly trotted away from her friends down the hall to the herd’s confusion, all four members looking down the hall after her.

“I swear, since she and Trixie came out of the closet last month, she’s been way too excitable.” Bronze shook his head with a sigh. “Love does weird things to people.”

“She doesn’t have it nearly as bad as Rarity though. That mare can’t stop fawning over Spike since his growth spurt.” Shampoo commented as the four left Bronze’s room to join with the rest of their friends, including those outside their immediate circle such as Gilda and Bronze’s parents, who were all amicably chatting by the fireplace with Vivian being practically babied by Mary who was using her talons to fuss over the cub’s plumage much to the said cub’s annoyance.

“Alright everyone, get suited up or whatever, I’ll take us all there so we don’t have to make a mad dash to the train station. I’ll be back in a short bit to take us so meet me outside the front doors.” Bronze stated as he moved the the huge mahogany double doors and briskly exited for the freezing cold of Battopia, which was already filled with the frames of houses, and the ceiling of the cave actually had similar frames, but mounted in a hanging structure with staircases along the walls of the cave leading up to the unfinished superstructure.

‘To think Thestrals still kept documentation of their ancient cities. How they manage to safely mount them in the ceilings of caves I’m still trying to understand….’ Bronze mused as he approached Mistress, Duncan and Jeff’s stone Doorway at the mouth of the cave. ‘I hope they don’t mind me asking for more company. I don’t think I can stand being a downer with the locals when even my parents are all caught up in the ‘mood’.’

“Hey Mistress, Dunc. Can I have some company for Hearth’s Warming?” Bronze asked as he knocked on the door three times, and opened the door, blinking in surprise at the sight that greeted him. “Uh….”

“Harlot!” Twilight Sparkle yelled harshly, flame flaring out of her mouth, and flaring her wings, “why don’t you go back to Tartarus with the rest of your ilk!”

“Well Princess, my fiance is here so I’m staying here! Unlike you I have a reason to be here!” a crimson colored pony with demon horns and bat wings yelled, her whip-like spaded tail whipping around.

“I have more logical reasons to be here than you! Take your masochistic infatuation where ponies actually care! Like Tartarus!” Twilight growled as she bumped heads with the demoness, her longer alicorn horn pressing down on the red mare’s skull while the curled ram horns on either side of the red mare’s head pressed against Twilight’s temples.

“I. Can. Sense. Lust! I KNOW you’re lying through your teeth you self-important bitch! Back off! He’s MINE!” The succubus pony roared, the floor starting to burn some, as she pressed back against the purple mare, both growling viciously as lightning sparked between their eyes while they mashed foreheads and noses.

“Um...is this a bad time?” Bronze asked nervously, getting two glares of feminine fury suddenly aimed at him. “Eep!” Bronze meeped as he cowered to the ground and covered his head with both hooves and wings like Fluttershy tended to. “I’m sorry! Don’t hurt me!”

“Who the buck are-holy buck that’s cold!” The demoness recoiled from the blast of cold air flowing through the door at her and the alicorn Twilight. A hand patted the burning door frame on the other end of the room, putting the fire out.

“The drastic difference in barometric pressure between your location and here is causing an incredibly uncomfortable environment, close the door.” Twilight more calmly insisted as she dragged the large black stallion through the stone door and closed it rather than wait for him to do it himself. “Now then...who are you and where did that stone door...come from? What is that? It’s pinging off my senses like an emergency distress beacon.” Twilight mused as her horn shined. “I’m getting a sort of signal from the door.”

“That’s probably the Internet Connection.” Bronze commented as he peeked out from under his hooves and wings, but otherwise stayed on the floor with only his eye visible. “Hey, that armor...it reminds me of the Element Zero games.”

“Bronze what are you doing here and how did you make a door into my subspace?” Nuada asked peeking his head out from behind the charred door.

“Who are you?” Bronze asked as the presence of a male helped him gather some courage and stood up, getting the assembled to gawk slightly up at his imposing and statuesque 8 foot height. His thin and lithe build made him look like a very large thoroughbred horse, and he cringed as his long fluted horn stabbed into the wood roof, making the thestral alicorn blush. “Uh...sorry about that….”

“It’s me Nuada, you don’t recognize me?” Nuada asked waving off the damage, a glance around the room showed similar damage and some scorch marks.

“Nuada? Oh, right. Form Restriction. Guess you’re quite the salty dog to have two pretty mares fighting over you.” The black stallion snorted as he horribly tried not to burst out laughing, his cheeks puffed out with mirth.

“That’s right that horrible shape shifting thing.” Nuada said said dismissing the other part of the sentence, “This is LtC Sparkle from what she calls a Mass Effect world, she is also Displaced. Cinder you heard of last time, she is my fiance while we figure some things out.”

“Have you gotten him in bed yet?” Bronze asked the red mare casually, getting Nuada to choke at the absolutely comfortably said question.

“We’re waiting it seems for marriage, though I don’t know why.” Cinder said, flicking her tail and batting her eyes at Nuada seductively.

“Yes, it’s common practice for ponies, and other species normally I found out, to wait for matrimony of a sort for sexual intercourse.” Twilight commented with a nod.

“Not even oral? Dude, if there’s one thing I’ve learned this past year, it’s that you’ve gotta meet your mare halfway.” Bronze shook his head ruefully with his eyes closed as Cinder sniffed him.

“Whoa...you eat them out every night?” The succubus asked in surprise, and he nodded solemnly.

“So once again Bronze what brings you to my home and supposedly untouchable subspace.” Nuada asked, blushing, trying hard to change the subject.

“Uh, God of Space? If it occupies a physical plane, or even any form of existence, I can get to it. If this is a subspace it’s just another form of space. I mean, even the Void, empty as it is, has the luxury of allowing things through it. But actually, me coming here was a complete accident. I was originally using the Doorway to Mistress’s place and it opened here instead. Your worlds must be incredibly close somehow for the dimensional coordinates to scramble, hold on.” Bronze said, looking to the door and it suddenly vanished. “Okay, now that’s where it belongs.”

“Mistress?” Nuada asked visibly shaken, turning even more pale than his normal Irish heritage was. Nuada began hyperventilating and sweating profusely.

“Oh boy.” Bronze spun around and bucked Nuada unconscious, much to the two mare’s shock. “That would’ve killed a normal person, but he should be fine if I know Juraians at all. I find suddenly passing out to be preferable to a panic attack.”

Sparkle’s magenta aura surrounded Nuada for a moment before she let out a sigh of relief, “That did stop the panic attack, but I’d rather you not do that.” Sparkle’s left hoof shot out a green gel that healed the bruising and let Nuada’s eye open back up.

“Medi-gel! That is so cool! I mean, sure, magic can do that but it’s so much easier to make something like medi-gel than spend a long time mastering healing magic.” Bronze gushed like a nerd as he knelt down to look at Twilight’s hoof. “And you have it in an easy and quick to use dispenser built into your armor? Twi, I know you’re smart, but then there’s genius. And MY Twilight got an interdimensional internet working.”

“With some of the Displaced that live on Starswirl’s void ship learning things like this is easy.” Sparkle said, “and please call me Sparkle, it helps prevent some confusion with other Twilights.”

“Sure Twi, if that’s what you want Sparky, mind if I beam you up Scotty?” Bronze asked cheekily as he grinned down at the mare barely more than half his height.

“I would prefer Sparkle.” She said flatly ignoring his humor, glaring back up at him.

“Sure, but do you need to run diagnostics on your weapons systems first?” Bronze snorted as he tried and failed to contain himself.

“That is Garrus’ job, I maintain my puddle jumper and magitek research.” She answered cocking an eyebrow.

“Have you met Mordin yet?” Bronze asked eagerly out of the blue.

“And we’re done here.” Sparkle said turning around and leaving the room.

“But he’s the very model of a scientist Salarian! He’s knowledgeable of information Turian, Quarian and Batarian!” Bronze called out excitedly, getting a growl of frustration to echo into the room.

“Don’t take it personally, she doesn’t like to talk about her personal situation that much. So Bronze what did you need the others for?” Nuada asked while he saw Sparkle fly up the the roof of his little home. He’d woken up almost immediately after the Medi-gel did it’s work, he just felt better staying on the floor a moment.

Bronze suddenly was instantly filled with such a presence of despair, loneliness, and angst that Nuada and Cinder flinched away, but especially Cinder as he fell to his front knees with a haunted countenance. “One...word...the most evil, vile, and cruel thing in existence….”

“Black friday?” Nuada asked.

“Two words, you fail.” Bronze shot down in the same sullen tone but sharply, making Nuada pout and Cinder snicker. “No...but it is close….” Bronze seemed to shrink into himself a bit, seeming half his size. “...Christmas….” He whispered with a haunted tone, shivering with woe and simmering hatred.

“I thought Christmas was an Earth thing, we had Hearth’s Warming a few times over here, but what’s with Christmas bugging you?” Nuada asked.

“That may be what they call it! But ponies don’t see the truth! Especially with the cultures of my dead world spilling onto Equus like a cheap fresco painting, my new world is now at risk of the Capitalist Empire rising again!” Bronze bolted to his hooves, a seething hatred in his aura with his eyes ablaze, gritting his teeth, his temples pulsed, he snorted steam, and plopped onto his plot, flinging his hooves to the air as he took a deep breath to scream at the ceiling. “CHRISTMAS~!”

BRONZE VS. CHRISTMAS

“Dude, did you just pull a Dan Versus?!” Nuada balked as he backed away from the growling and increasingly angry stallion.

“What sort of Wrath is this? Only some of the fiercest demons I’ve met ever had so much hate and anger within them!” Cinder exclaimed with a hint of fear as Bronze bellowed and was enveloped in an aura of wrathful flames.

“We must stop the process! Before mall Santas become a thing again, and the corporations take over the governments!” Bronze screamed hysterically as he began foaming at the mouth, his eyes taking on swirls of Chaos-

Nuada slapped the stallion, “Chill, it’ll take at least 100 years for that to happen, work with your princesses to pass some anti commercialized holiday laws and it’ll be fine

“But they only have sovereign over Equestria! All those other poor nations out there will fall prey to the false tales of goodness and joy the refugees of my world will-!” Nuada slapped the panicky stallion again, getting the swirls in his blue eyes to finish vanishing. “Whoa, ow. Thanks.”

“Take things one day at a time, for now what is going on with Hearth’s Warming?” Nuada asked.

“I’ve gotta go see my friends and marefriend AJ perform in the play, but I’ve got nothing but spite for Christmas or related holidays, and I’m being a complete Grinch slash Scrooge right now. I was hoping to take Mistress and Duncan to the play with me so I’d have some outsiders to the situation balance me out.” Bronze wilted with a sigh. “But instead the Doorway sent me here and all I’ve done is dump my issues on you. I’ll just go and deal with it the hard way.”

“Well if you’ld like we could join you, I think Sparkle, and Cinder could use a day outside the house.” Nuada said.

“Hey I’m fine, she’s the one who started it.” Cinder cried with indignation.

“You provoked her again, I swear why can’t you two get along?” Nuada asked with a sigh.

“She’s a rude, inappropriate leech.” Sparkle called down.

“Sparks, I know my Twi has a thing for powder blue mares with silver hair. I’m sure you’re more open minded and fair than you think.” Bronze said confidently with a tone of respect. “It’s how open you are with your feelings that determines perverseness. We’re all perverts. Unless one of us is asexual. Do you need to take asymmetryl or something Nuada?” Bronze asked offhoofedly.

“I don’t have an issue with that, it’s how she hangs all over Nuada, and doesn’t help around the house!” The voice of Sparkle replied.

“Oh, the lazy pervert. Just trade sexual favors for stuff, that’ll get you far. Gets Shampoo off her lazy plot to do stuff all the time.” Bronze shrugged, twitching his ear and hissing as he tried to use his hoof to scratch it, but after a few attempts, easily flicked out his 3 foot tongue and began rubbing the crease at the back of his ear, getting Cinder to gawk in surprise.

“Thestrals don’t do that here,” she said with a smirk, “hey Nuada can you do that?”

“If I could do that, I’d never worry about getting the last drop of Sake out of the bottom of the bottle.” Nuada stated, “besides, I don’t see the point of a tongue that long when I have fingers.”

“I’m physiologically designed to eat mares out for nourishing protein. Oh, and giant flowers, fruit pods, bug burrows, the soft tissues of larger felled prey. Etc. Anyway, wanna go watch a play with me? Sparkle! I’ve got hilarious stories to tell you about Twilight and Trixie dating!” Bronze called out randomly as he trotted out of the room, leaving a very excited looking Cinder with the slightly disturbed Nuada.

“Can I-?”

“No!”

Author's Note

Guess who's back? :duck: Back again? :raritywink: Junkie's back! :rainbowwild: Tell a friend! :moustache:

Starting off my comeback from unemployment is the Hearth's Warming Arc! Starring my pal DemonWolf and his characters from No Need For Equestria.

Let the Chaos, COMMENCE~! :discord:

No Need for Christmas

A new door made of pale tan Japanese Maple popped up out of the wall next to the stone door, and Bronze merrily trotted out, an annoyed but slightly amused LtC Sparkle riding on his back wearing a thick parka sort of coat that hid her wings. “-And then I said, ketchup? Are you crazy?!”

“Why put ketchup in oatmeal?” Sparkle asked curiously.

“That’s why I said it was crazy!” Bronze chuckled as Nuada and Cinder halted at the Doorway, mostly because Nuada had stopped and Cinder bumped into him.

“Hey, as much as I enjoy the proximity to your butt, could we get going?” Cinder asked as she adjusted her warm winter outfit composed of wool and cotton.

“I’m going to turn back into a diamond dog, don’t you dare pet me again.” Nuada warned with a stern leer on his face.

“Aw, but you’re so cute and fluffy as a dog.” Cinder pouted.

“Mustard on steamed broccoli?!” Sparkle asked aghast.

“I know! So gross!” Bronze exclaimed.

“Look, just stallion up and let’s go, the less I have to hear your crazy friend actually get along with that purple prude the better, and the sooner this is over the sooner that ends.” Cinder grumbled.

“Yeah, fine.” Nuada sighed as he stepped through, seamlessly turning into a black and white Welsh sheepdog again, adjusting his nice silk Neighponese clothes to accommodate his extra-fluffy fur. It seemed Bronze’s universe decided to add a winter coat of his fur in his favor. “Hm, warm.”

“Whoa! What the buck?!” Cinder yelped, getting Nuada to turn around, hoping to see something more normal as a result of Bronze’s world’s Form Restriction, only to quickly jolt away from an eye-level Cinder who looked almost exactly the same, just about as big as a large horse from Saddle Arabia, and with added bat wings. “Why did I just get a makeover from the Growth Breezie?”

“It is good to see a Greater Succubus from Tartarus on vacation this time of year, usually most demons are too busy celebrating inside Tartarus to uplift the spirits of the prisoners.” Bronze commented casually with a wink, making Nuada huff in disappointment while Cinder pranced about with an excited giggle at her increased size and overall physical capability, and that her warm clothes also improved to fit her new size.

“Great, now my demon fiance can be bigger, stronger, and can fly whenever she wants. Yay….” Nuada growled, his current diamond dog body giving it a rather fierce quality.

“So this is the form restriction problem you mentioned to me.” Sparkle said looking over at Cinder and Nuada, “I must say this is impressive. I’m curious what happens to the formless like Mistress and Jeff.”

“Changelings. Specifically, Jeff gets to be a drone, but Mistress is a changeling queen. She can’t really stay too long or she’ll start laying fatherless drone eggs, though on some level I think she’d enjoy that. But she’s a Displaced, and really, with the crap she must deal with, having that many kids just has to be impossible to juggle.” Bronze considered, but shuddered. “Or, maybe, some people can juggle having tons of offspring even with crazy crap going on, I don’t know, but for some reason I feel like I’m badmouthing a lot of really cool folks if I diss the notion entirely.”

“Actually, you’d be right. Mistress is in a relationship with a Displaced she once told me is literally in her own words; ‘a stupid sexy sex god’ and already has his whole herd pregnant last she knew.” Sparkle commented. “In fact, Nuada and I even helped with a situation in his world, fighting legions of soldiers wielding an alloy that rendered all forms of magic it came in contact with completely moot, and even punctured the hull of the puddle jumper like it was normal steel. And after enough died, their leader began resurrecting them as zombies.”

Nuada began shuddering at the memories, quickly turning pale, “Can we change subjects?” Visibly shaken Nuada began clutching his chest trying to catch his breath, and slow his heart rate. Sparkle put a wing around him trying to comfort him as Cinder did the same. The two glared at each other but otherwise didn’t fight.

“Uh...magic denying and superior alloy-nerfing metal sounds like something I want no part of, or zombies, especially zombies. Especially if it’s making the Juraian have PTSD.” Bronze nervously commented as the huge mahogany double doors at the back of the cave opened up. “Oh, hey, here come my friends and family.”

Nuada drank from a glass of water that Sparkle summoned for him, and did his best to put on a calm face. Bronze and Cinder each took half a step away, though Cinder gave his butt a light flick with her tail, fluffing up his own poofy dog tail for good measure.

“Well hello! It’s good to meet another alternate version of myself.” Twilight casually stated as they approached, and she blinked. “But why are you riding on Bronze’s back?”

“He kinda ponynapped me. I figured trying to get away from an Alicorn of Space was an exercise in futility. Especially after the fourth time he just warped me right back onto his back.” Sparkle snorted with a roll of her eyes. “He’s just about as stubborn as Pinkie Pie when he get’s going.”

“Don’t I know it? I have to deal with him on a daily basis! ‘Twilight! HOLY BUCK!’ Every time he discovers something new.” Twilight giggled, and her secretly-an-alicorn double joined in.

“Well, if everyone’s all ready to go?” Bronze asked, and suddenly; Canterlot. “Hm...now we’re early. I probably should’ve taken us someplace tropical for a second. Naw, would’ve caused all the non-alicorns heat strokes or something.” Bronze considered, looking around the mostly packed streets of Canterlot, several local ponies and their belongings seemingly haphazardly tossed out of the exit area of his mass warp as they gathered themselves in confusion.

“No just a little temperature shock. Sides my place is a constant 72 degrees Fahrenheit.” Nuada said off hand helping some of the group to their hooves.

“Son, please don’t do that again. How many times do we have to tell you others can’t automatically adjust to one of your little swaps?” Mary, the petite griffon hen berated her son as she helped a random stallion get his Hearth’s Warming gifts gathered back up.

“No….” Bronze whispered in terror, seeing the familiar sights. “Silver bells...shoppers, rushing home with their treasures? Ponies laughing? Ponies passing? Leaving smile after smile?!” Bronze whirled on Nuada, grabbing his shirt by the front with his hooves, shaking him. “YOU SAID IT’D TAKE A CENTURY!” He then pointed to a white-bearded stallion fully decked out in a Santa suit ringing a charity bell on the corner, rich ponies occasionally tossing a few bits in the red bucket. “It hasn’t even been a year since the mass exodus!”

“But charity is a good thing!” Nuada stated, only for Bronze to magically force him to focus on the pony ringing the bell.

“Santa. Is. NOT. Local!” Bronze exclaimed, a vein on his neck throbbing, before he let Nuada go and screamed in wordless frustration into the air, causing everyone to pause and stare in worry at the panting and angry giant alicorn, his deep blue eyes twitching as his pupils seemed to be fading into an opaque blue to match his irises as a powerful frigid wind blew through the suddenly quiet streets. His lips began twitching into a manic grin, a maddened chortle choking through grit teeth. “Let's go~...we have a show to see~.” Bronze sing-songed in an unhinged tone, twitching as he trotted through the rapidly parting crowds toward the palace, Sparkle frozen in worry on his back.

“...That is one furious alicorn.” Cinder helpfully commented.

Zecora then turned to her herd mates. “Told you I did, to leave it be. Now let’s hope there’s still a show to even see.”

[(X)]

“I’m not sure coming along was a good idea….” Nuada quietly said to himself as the large group separated with the actors going backstage, and the rest all going up to the VIP box, and he found himself stuck in a very compromising situation.

Luna was here.

Creepy thing was, she looked so different from the Luna he knew. She was easily a head taller, matching her sister, her coat was pitch black as how the Nightmare’s was described to him, but her mane and tail weren’t just a veil of stars so much as they were curtains of the cosmos, galaxies and nebulae drifting through them. She also had absolutely no sadness in her, because the moment they came in, she hadn’t left Bronze alone.

“Come now son! Hearth’s Warming is a time for family and joy!” Luna expressed gleefully as she wing-hugged her larger son, said stallion was simply sullenly slouched in his alicorn-sized seat next to her as he glared down at the stage in silent simmering rage.

Nuada tore his eyes away from the alicorn, trying to calm himself, though the arcs of energy around his fists betrayed his anger to Sparkle who saw it. Nudging Nuada she led him to the far side of the VIP box and placed herself between him and the Princess.

“So Bronze is there any special customs on this world for Hearth’s Warming?” Sparkle asked, “I’m curious how different our worlds are.”

“Well APPARENTLY my desperate gambit to save as many people from my old world dying in the nuclear armageddon resulted in my world’s cultures corrupting this world’s holidays! So hello, Christmas 2-point-Oh!” Bronze seethed, sparks of pure magic leaping off of him as gravity seemed to gather around him, Luna clicking her tongue.

“Oh son, don’t be such a...what’s the word? Grinch? I believe that’s what one of your Earth references applies to here. Your world’s cultures have only enhanced upon what was already here. Ponies already shared gifts, spent time with loved ones, and formed stronger bonds. But now with all the technology and other goods your world’s provided, ponies actually have more reason to get gifts.” Luna informed, only for Bronze to silently start foaming at the mouth, leaving her to sigh. “Were we this hopelessly mercurial sister?”

At Luna’s question, the pink-maned and lithe Celestia that was this world’s sister of Luna let out a long-suffering sigh. “More than I’d care to admit Lulu.”

“Well perhaps the handsome dog has a suggestion to distract or cheer our son. What say you proud highland dog?” Luna asked of Nuada from over Sparkle’s shocked head.

“Could always lock him in a sealed room.” Nuada muttered glaring, earning a scowl from Sparkle..

“Hm...that would be best if he starts physically lashing out, but we’re afraid we have no possible container to keep my son in one place. Tis his domain to be anywhere anytime.” Luna shrugged. “Shame, sister often locked us in a sealed chamber whenever we became too furious to logically behave.”

“Sister, punching the yak king in the snout for demanding aid in times of hardship was not the way to tell him we were having our own troubles.” Celestia reminded, making Luna blush and snort in amusement.

“Well, him insulting our fit figure wasn’t the right way to go about pleading for aid.” Luna then turned back towards Nuada, giving him a queasy feeling when she fluttered her eyes. “Unlike that one wolf, sir Sif, from the highlands.”

“Sister, please don’t poach your son’s friends. Stop being a cougar this instant.” Celestia demanded, only for Luna to wink at Nuada and turn back to the theatre as patrons began filling seats.

Nuada began to rise as multiple shovels hit him in the face rapid fire, knocking him out. “Excuse us Princesses.” Sparkle said teleporting herself and Nuada out of the VIP box. Leaving their hosts in confusion.

“Aw, well, at least he left proof of his interest in these gift shovels.” Luna grinned as she gathered the several tools together, Celestia sighing in annoyance as Sparkle and the knocked-out Nuada reappeared behind the stage.

“Twilight? What’re ya doin’ outta costume?” Sparkle perked up, her heart jumping for joy for a split second before she reminded herself it wasn’t ‘her’ AJ, and turned to smile at the Smart Cookie outfit she was wearing. “Wait...yer taller. Ya gotta be the visitin’ Twi. Sorry bout the mixup, Ah’m all sorts of nervous...and what happened to the big feller?” Applejack asked, pointing to the slowly stirring Nuada laid out on the hard wooden floor.

“It’s complicated.” Sparkle then perked at hearing ‘hear ye, hear ye’ in a deliciously deep and slightly rough voice. “Who’s that? Where’s Spike?” Sparkle just realized she didn’t see the young drake at all, and if she remembered right, it should’ve been Spike out there as the narrator.

“Oh, it is. Ah’m guessin’ yer Spike didn’t hit his growth spurt this soon?” AJ asked over the loud screams of ecstatic mares in the crowd. “Heads up; his voice kinda makes mares lose their sense.”

“It’s not bad, but that’s still my little brother you’re talking about, in a sense.” Sparkle said using her Omni-hoof’s medi-gel dispenser on Nuada again. Stopping the blood flow from his nose and reducing the bruising on his face.

“Well ain’t that some kinda fancy. Oh...that’s mah cue, gotta go!” AJ ran towards the main stage, mere moments before Nuada groaned and sat up.

“What happened, where are we?” Nuada asked looking around as stage hooves ran about and Sparkle covered her Omni-hoof with the sleeve of her parka.

“Gilgamesh’s enchantment hit you enough times to knock you out. Oddly the shovels didn’t seem to vanish like they should have.” Sparkle said curiously.

“Oh yeah, that happened last time I was here too. This world’s got weird attributes to it.” Nuada said as he stood up, and then had something big, hard, and smooth bump into him from behind the curtain as the perpetrator entered backstage from the main stage.

“Oh, sorry, what’re you doing back here anyway?” Spike asked Nuada, looking down from his impressive height at the diamond dog who shrugged. “Well whatever, just don’t get in the way of any stage hooves, last thing we need is a sandbag falling on somepony. Sup Twi.” Spike idly waved with a foreleg at Twilight before turned around and accidentally smacking Nuada down with his long tail, “My bad.” But his uncaring tone clearly said he didn’t care as he went back out on stage.

“Well, my little brother in this world certainly isn’t lacking in anything but manners.” Sparkle shook her head wryly, but her heart hurt, seeing people she knew, but didn’t know never got easier.

“Sparkle can you help me out and cast a filtering spell on me for the duration of the play?” Nuada asked rubbing his snout that still hurt.

“I take it you want me to filter out the princess?” Sparkle asked with a sigh, “Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away.”

“I know, but just for the duration of the play I’d rather not deal with shovels to the face. Just see about filtering her so that I can’t recognize her face or voice. That should help.” Nuada said running his paw through his fur on his head.

“Fine but we really need to address your problem with Luna at some point, this is getting ridiculous.” Sparkle said channeling magic and Nuada’s eyes and ears were briefly covered in a magenta glow.

“Thank you, let’s get back would be rude to leave our hosts for too long.” Nuada said standing up. Sparkle nodded and teleported them back to their seats in the VIP booth. Nuada was pleased to notice a green alicorn mare with leafy hair in Luna’s place, part of him knew it was Luna but she looked different enough no his rage was manageable.

“Quick snooki?” Cinder asked smirking at Sparkle and Nuada.

“Shush.” Several people in the box all whispered, intent on watching the play, while Bronze seemed to have calmed down some, more stern and unhappy than outright enraged.

“No, I just helped him recover from that shovel barrage.” Sparkle whispered as she helped Nuada maneuver into the seat next to the demoness and sat on his other side, both putting wings to his back to keep him calm as he tried not to focus on the different looking Luna. Sparkle had slipped the wing behind him using Cinder’s wing to hide it even more in the dark theatre.

“Oh? Are you flirting with me now Sparkle?” Cinder quietly whispered with a coy grin, getting a silent leer from Sparkle as Nuada could more or less focus more on enjoying the play than worrying about his situation.

Nuada began to shiver slightly as the play continued. Looking around he saw members of the audience cuddling with others and lips starting to turn blue. The actors on stage seemed fine as did the alicorns with him, though Cinder seemed to be feeling the chill as well.

“Actually I think these are Windigos!” Twilight said in her Clover the Clever outfit, “My master Starswirl told me all about them, they feed off of negative emotions and -”

Twilight was cut off as the windows all slammed open, snow and wind rapidly filled the theater. Quickly everypony looked up and saw a few strange ethereal looking horses running through the air. In a panic, Nuada leaped out of the booth and ran to a window where he saw close to a hundred of the ethereal horses circling Canterlot.

“Windigos! But how?” Cinder asked, as Bronze, the mane six, Spike, the princesses, and Sparkle all came over to the window.

“Hmph, figures. The first Hearth’s Warming that’s been corrupted by Christmas, and an ancient evil returns.” Bronze growled, getting Nuada, Sparkle, and Twilight to realize the cause as the Windigoes seemed to move faster, the blizzard get more intense as Bronze visibly became more spiteful.

“I Hate Christmas.”

Author's Note

Behold! The depths of how much Bronze (and by extension I) utterly despise Christmas.:twilightoops:

Here comes the storm.:twilightangry2:

The Cycle of Hatred

Bronze growled as he distorted space to make the windows basically connect directly to each other, meaning only the few windigos inside the theater were immediately affecting the interior. “There, we have some time to get rid of these pests and protect the crowd inside the theater. I’ll evacuate everypony, you all get plot-kicking!” Bronze shouted, Spirals of Chaos starting to consume his opaque blue eyes as he rapidly warped around, taking entire rows of the crowd with him to someplace that wasn’t anywhere near there.

“Pony feathers! As if his negativity attracting these windigoes wasn’t enough, he’s becoming Discorded! We better deal with this fast and smack some sense into him!” Sparkle shouted as she quickly shed her parka, flaring her wings as she summoned her full N7 armor suit onto herself.

“Negativity?”Cinder asked as her hair began to turn to real fire and the area around her got significantly warmer, her large bat wings flaring out and spreading her hot aura to lessen the potency of the freezing windigo aura.

“Windigos are creatures that feed on negative emotions between ponies. The only way that was found to banish them was to trigger the Flames of Friendship.” Nuada explained as his battle armor formed around him. “For now we can at least in theory temporary banish the ones in this room.”

“Right.” Cinder and Sparkle agreed taking flight with Nuada charging into the mass of ethereal horses.

“Children, gather over here!” Mary called out to the Crusaders, who had come with their sisters to watch them perform, and they all quickly ran to get under the small griffon’s body as Ronald and Vivian moved to box them in, before they were all suddenly warped away to safety.

“Girls! We need to get the Elements of Harmony! The only proven way to banish windigoes is a bit too vulgar for me to really consider, and if there’s anything else that could, it’d be the Elements!” Twilight called over the freezing storm winds the windigos were kicking up as they dodged their attackers while Bronze continued to rapidly appear and vanish with sections of the crowd.

“Good idea my student! They’re in the Royal Vault, do you remember the code?!” Celestia called over the howling wind and echoing neighing.

“I’m afraid not Princess! I made myself forget when I moved to Ponyville, so that if I was kidnapped, my captors couldn’t use me to get at any of the artefacts.” Twilight admitted, getting Celestia to wryly roll her eyes with a grin.

“We shall guide them there and open the vault for them sister! You incinerate these vile phantoms!” Luna shouted, using her magic to create a dome shield over herself and the mane six, who then used the moving cover to run out of the theatre and into the castle proper.

“Well, even if it will just send them back to the Winter Witch, it’s better than letting them run rampant over My Little Ponies.” Celestia commented before her magenta eyes suddenly filled with golden light, and her pink mane and tail began flickering like fire as she took to the air, her presence alone causing the windigos to whinnie in pain and recoil away, but they still resisted even as several were dissipated by Nuada’s, Cinder’s, and Sparkle’s respective heat-based attacks consisting of Nuada’s Master Key, Cinder’s fire, and Sparkle’s magic infused ammunition. “I have need of your advice once this is over Miss Sparkle.”

“What kind of advice?” Sparkle asked Celestia as she was unloading her SMG into a wendigo, the rounds bursting into flame on contact.

“Pertaining to my student’s ascension, when even before you were here, she’d already known of it coming to pass. I haven’t the foggiest how to ensure that future happens now that she knows, but the odd thing is she tells me with such humility, ‘if it happens, it happens.’ But I cannot simply let it go at that.” Celestia said as her aura flared, causing the winter phantoms to recoil and become easy targets again. “It’s almost as if she already understands, but doesn’t somehow. I resolved to ask any Twilight I came across who’d already experienced and surpassed the trial for any insight into the issue.”

“Well she knows it’s gonna happen but does she know how it’s gonna happen?” Sparkle asked reloading as she lanced a few windigos with magic. “In addition I overheard that she knows how to erase her memories. You could have her blank out how it happens, or seeing as you engineered it in the first place maybe figure out a new plan?”

“Yes, she does know how exactly everything that was apparently supposed to happen for possibly the next few years is supposed to happen. But that’s the keyword; supposed. She’s so desperate to run potential damage control for some things I’m afraid that erasing her own memory would be too difficult to isolate on that one subject concerning it is connected to so many other important matters. The code to something is one thing. An entire series of events is another.” Celestia bemoaned as she fired a magenta beam of pure fire through a windigo, banishing it with a piercing neigh as the last of the civilians vanished from the theater.

“Well roll with the punches as they say. Let things happen for a while, see if causality might just work it’s way out in some form. From what I’ve seen my ascension is a fixed point in most worlds so I’m sure it will come to pass.” Sparkle said as she watched Nuada banish the last windigo in the theater.

“I should dearly hope so. For if this very situation tells me anything however; it is that the future is truly never set in stone. The Windigoes were never to return from the Far Frozen for instance.” Celestia intoned sadly as suddenly the walls surrounding the still spatially warped windows began freezing over.

“There! Whole castle’s empty! City next!” Bronze shouted angrily as he warped into the middle of the group, that noticed even the other friends of the group, Spike included, were also gone. Bronze’s eyes were now completely dominated by thick pale blue swirls that shined out from his opaque dark blue eyes. “Windows open!” At his words, the windows stopped being a passthrough and freezing winds buffeted them as Bronze disappeared, likely to continue evacuating civilians, and it seemed guards also, to someplace safe.

“Well no rest for the weary.” Nuada stated, “Any clue how much longer till the elements get here?”

“Sister~!” Nuada shivered not from the cold, but at the voice of Luna being carried on them as she frantically flew in through a window. “The Elements! He’s taken them!”

“Who?!” Cinder asked confused.

“Our son! He just warped in as we were coming back with the Element Bearers, all fitted with their elements, and he took them along with the nearby guards!” Luna shouted with worry. “His eyes, we haven’t seen eyes like those since Discord’s acolytes!”

“Wait, Discord was actually worshiped as a god here?!” Nuada balked, only to be reminded of the situation as a whole stampede of windigoes burst into the theater, surrounding them on all sides and filling the entire place with snow, ice, and the essence of cold and despair.

“We need to stop Bronze, he’s obviously forgotten that we need the elements to stop the windigoes.” Sparkle stated prepping her gun again, “Anypony have a plan?”

Suddenly, desert.

“Uh...what?” Nuada asked as he gawked at the sudden change of scenery from freezing solid theater to still-freezing open dirt desert, the windigoes above just as clearly confused as they dispersed over the area, at a loss from being displaced so suddenly.

“Th-this is...this is the most sophisticated teleport I’ve ever-.”

Tropic island.

“Hey, where are we now? The ghost horses didn’t even come with-.”

Falling into a volcano from a great height.

“It’s Bronze! It has to be! He’s the only being in this dimension capable of something like this with Discord still sealed!” Sparkle shouted as she grabbed both Nuada and a panicking Cinder who couldn’t get her wings sorted out in her telekinesis, moments before they all crashed into a soft mountain of snow that they slid through and down the buried street of what was clearly once Canterlot, now frozen and empty, the winter spirits of hatred all galloping in the sky above, neighing in triumph.

“We don’t have time for the elements,” Nuada stated seeing the thick snow, “Celestia can you trigger the Fires of Friendship?”

Celestia suddenly exploded in flames being cast off her as her face turned bright red. “W-w-what?! B-but I hardly know you!”

“Huh?” Nuada looked confused, “Don’t we just need to sing some songs and be friendly? That was how it worked in my world.”

“Who told thou that load of horse apples? The Fires of Friendship is the complete and total reconciliation of differences through intimacy.” Luna said in bemusement.

“Starswirl and Clover the Clever.” Nuada stated, “And as I said; how it worked in my world.”

“...Our Starswirl and Clover the Clever informed us that it was cathartic hate sex that unleashed the Fires of Friendship. Through the act, the feuding parties were able to completely forget and forgive previous transgressions, even if only for the moment, but the six involved became life-long friends from the event.” Celestia informed bashfully.

“Oh.” Was all Nuada could say as the weight of what he had just asked Celestia hit him.

“Thou art a very prime specimen proud hound, but we’re afraid our old enemies will have learned from their past mistakes, even if any of us tried to commit to the act, they’d freeze us solid before we achieve climax.” Luna ruefully admitted as she looked up at the cheering spirits in worry.

Nuada turned slightly green as he heard his ‘sister’ make those comments. “Well to start we need to get rid of their food, can you get Bronze to go somewhere and relax?”

“Ah~...vut I am everyvere, and novere~.” Bronze’s voice echoed around them in a horribly bad Germane accent. “I am az far away az can be, vut also right next to you~....” Bronze whispered on the howling winds, his choking chuckles laced with madness.

“Bronze if you don’t calm down right now and bring your physical butt over here so help me, I’ll do it for you.” Nuada yelled energy coalescing around him.

“What, what? This butt?” Bronze asked, pieces of him seeming to be free-floating in the air, holding his plot towards Nuada a few feet away, his eyes now actively swirling. “Or this butt?” Bronze asked, seeming to also be holding Cinder’s plot much closer to his face, as the mare squealed, drawing attention to see that it seemed her whole rear sans lower legs was completely gone, but she was still standing, as if her body just ended at the stomach, and started at her rear knees, floating and being supported unseen as her hind hooves frantically shifted about, turning the scared mare around as if she were still whole.

“You put her back together right now.” Nuada said as he began to glow.

“Or what little puppy?” Nuada couldn’t feel his body, and he gasped at seeing his headless body waving around it’s arms, trying to feel his head on his empty shoulders. “Don’t lose your head, it’s really unbecoming!”

“That’s it!” Nuada roared in a flash of light pushing Bronze away from his head and snow away from his body. As the light receded Nuada stood whole, covered in ethereal white robes holding a white greatsword in his hand. Cinder too seemed to benefit as her plot had returned to where it was supposed to be.

“Oh boo, boo~! Someone who doesn’t like fun!” Bronze pouted as he wholly manifested, and grabbed the sides of his head, physically pulling his head in half, revealing an abyss of stars, galaxies and worlds within worlds like his mother’s mane and tail. “Let’s see what the cosmos has to say to that!” After his statement, Celestia and Luna suddenly vanished, leaving the three outworlders alone with the Discorded God of Space.

“Why don’t we?” Nuada said quickly grabbing Bronze’s tail and pulled him into the abyss as he jumped into Bronze’s head space, causing them to vanish into Bronze’s head like a snake eating itself until they were gone.

“Um what just happened?” Cinder asked shivering, since having lost her plot for a moment mortally terrified the succubus.

“I...I think Nuada just dragged Bronze into the abyss, while simultaneously going into Bronze’s personal Plane of Existence! Nuada you idiot! You’re challenging a god in a place where they’re nigh omnipotent!” Sparkle shouted angrily. “That’s like attacking Sheogorath in the Shivering Isles! You Don’t, Do It!”

“Can we help?” Cinder asked.

“No, we can’t. Starswirl might be able to get us there, but we don’t have the power to do much. We need to get focused on what we can handle, which means we need to get ponies starting some Fires of Friendship.” Sparkle said, her blush strong but hidden behind the mask.

“Wait you want us to go convince ponies to have a bunch of sex?” Cinder asked grinning, “I didn’t know you were into that Princess.”

“Oh can it, if we had an alternative I would go with that but we don’t have much of a choice do we? Can you make some lust aura or something?” She asked while holstering her gun.

“Well I’ll need to feed off somepony to get started. Think you can help me out?” Cinder said with a smirk and a wink.

“Wha.. You mean me, I couldn’t possibly… It’s not proper.” Sparkle said, getting flustered.

“Oh that reaction was great.” Cinder said laughing, “now Princess, just think of those things you want to do with Nuada for a few minutes. Sure you and I making out would be much more direct, but that will do.”

“You’re insufferable, and we’ll never talk about this. EVER!” Sparkle said the snow around her melting from her embarrassment.

“Oh that’s the stuff. Mm, yes~...more of your spiteful rage-lust in the mix if you please….” Cinder said drawing in the energy from Sparkle, biting her lip. “Nph~...you have really pent up urges Princess. You should, mmph...let them out or they’ll drive you nuts. Oh~! I can practically feel your horn in me!” Cinder panted, shaking her flanks and weakly flapping her velvety wings as she looked at a blushing scarlet Sparkle with want in her eyes.

“Just shut up and take my energy-ah!” A moment later Sparkle teleported them both away, leaving the windigos behind just seconds before a hail of dagger-like icicles would’ve skewered them, the spirits getting frantic to find the sudden source of Lust and Desire threatening a potential burst of Friendship Flames.

“Find them….”

[(X)]

Sparkle gasped as she and Cinder tumbled out of the teleport on yet another pile of snow, but Cinder’s body was getting so hot she melted it into an arctic stream, panting practical gouts of steam from her mouth. “Oh~ Sparkle~! You’re driving me crazy~!” Cinder cried out deliriously, her prehensile spaded tail moving to plunge between her flanks, but Sparkle stopped it with her magic.

“Save it for the ponies that live here.” Sparkle said trying to ignore the succubus.

“Sparkle! Fuck me! Please! Your restraint is going to kill my mind! Please!” Cinder begged, mashing her face into the snow, it rapidly turning to water as her body radiated enough heat to warm a small home. “Lust isn’t something you should hide all the time! It isn’t healthy and I’m going to cook to death if we don’t get this energy out!”

“Look, there are some ponies in that house go use your powers on them and get it out of your system.” Sparkle said mostly ignoring Cinder’s pleas.

“I can’t, they’d help but I need more ponies to give this to! We’re talking alicorn levels of restrained urges Sparkle, you’re not just an average mare.” Cinder argued as she grit her teeth and her curled ram horns shimmered with power, launching through the windows at the shivering ponies hunkered down in the snowed-in home, but she was still panting, her eyes turning red, shaking as she seemed to quickly become dizzy. “Not enough...need more vessels...gonna...die….”

“Hold on, we’re going on tour with this.” Sparkle said bringing up a life force sensor on her hud and teleported them to the next closest group of ponies.

“Not enough time.” Cinder said as she channeled more lust energy into ponies while they were rapidly blinking around Canterlot.

“If you hold out for this I’ll convince Nuada to give you a kiss.” Sparkle said sweating as she teleported them to Ponyville.

“I-if I try to I...I won’t be able to...get that...kiss….” Cinder weakly said, bonelessly falling into Sparkle’s side, the tears coming to her eyes evaporating from how hot she was getting, Sparkle could feel she’d be getting burned if not for her N7 armor and her shield.

“You hold on soldier.” Sparkle said as she grabbed Cinder in her magic, she removed her helmet, and held the mare’s worryingly still face in front of hers. “I just know I’m going to regret this.”

Cinder felt wet lips on her’s and a tongue probing for permission to enter. Cinder opened her mouth and weakly pushed back into the kiss, sending her own tongue in. Sparkle held Cinder close as they kissed deeply, rubbing against each other as Sparkle practically hugged the larger mare into her, pulling her to the snowy ground, dominating the succubus with an unleashed fervor that made the red mare whimper as she exploded in an aura of pink, cascading across a huge area now awash with the radiance of a pink flaming aura.

When they slowed down, Sparkle and Cinder pulled away, trails of saliva connecting their lips as their panting breaths steamed the freezing air, both looking astonished into each other’s eyes. “Th-that was...impressive Sparkle.” Cinder said with a tone of admiration, grinning. “I knew you had a real mare under that soldier facade.”

“That never happened and we never talk about it again.” Sparkle stammered her face beet red.

“Aw but it was so much fun, we really should do it again sometime.” Cinder said with a sly grin. “Not to mention, I’m pretty sure we just caused some Fires of Friendship to appear. So we will be talking later, whenever you get comfortable.” Cinder said with a surprisingly soft expression, making Sparkle blush faintly and look away.

“N-not happening, idiot, now let’s get moving, we have a nation to thaw out.” Sparkle said noticing Cinder was feeling better, “Can you feed off these ponies now?”

“That blast just caused some of the fuzziest, warmest feelings I’ve ever felt. I’m pretty sure the ponies around here aren’t going to need me to feed off them, not if we do that little makeout session a few times in heavily populated areas. I swear. There was enough tingly Friendship feelings in that I almost want to just, cuddle up with you and nap or something.” Cinder admitted as she stretched and got up, helping Sparkle to her hooves too.

“I’d rather you just use your normal lust aura.” Sparkle said, continuing to hold Cinder’s hoof and teleporting them out of Ponyville.

Meanwhile, inside the nearby Golden Oaks library….

“Oh~ Dashie! Your wings are so soooooft~!” Pinkie Pie gushed as if she was high, snuggling into Dash’s side as said cyan pegasus blankly stared off into space as her best friends all snuggled her out of nowhere, their Elements all shining as if about to go off.

“Girls...I know I’m Loyalty...but I’m getting the impression it’s not my endearing qualities you’re so interested in….” Dash deadpanned as Rarity cooed while brushing out Dash’s mane. “Whatever that pink thing was, I’m going to buck in the face of whoever caused it.” Then she gasped, and blushed at feeling something quite familiar between her thighs. “Hey-HEY! Only Gilda’s allowed to-whoa~! Uh...wow...keep going….”

[(X)]

Nuada and Bronze tumbled out of nothing and the diamond dog cried out as he tripped over a soapstone coffee table, and landed face-first into an obscenely comfortable brown couch cushion.

“Welcome back sir, and guest. Oh dear. It would seem sir is currently out of his mind. I’m afraid there’s not much I can do about that Master Nuada. You have my apologies.” Jeeves apologized from off to the side as Bronze cackled madly, his split head severing down his body, and completely splitting him in two, one was all cosmic void on the right, the other all cosmic void on the left.

“It's cool Jeeves I just need to smack some sense into him.” Nuada said kicking out with a paw in Right Bronze’s direction aiming to hit him across the face.

But it refused.

“...What?” Nuada asked in slight concern, seeing Jeeves’ smooth stone hand holding his leg at the knee.

“As I said, apologies.” Jeeves then suddenly socked Nuada in the chest, sending him flying out the massive multi-view bay windows, shattering one and finding himself floating in a swirling black abyss with floating land masses containing cities, forests, and mountains, among other various biomes. The entire place was lit by an impossibly close yellow star, it’s heat not really reaching anywhere it’s light touched.

“Well shit.” Nuada said as he tried to stop himself from moving.

“Do not bother.” Jeeves was suddenly standing in front of Nuada on nothing, and the dog tried to get a hit in with his huge sword, only to strike nothing. “I shall convey your method of propulsion.” Jeeves then grabbed the back of Nuada’s neck by the scruff, and flung him through the gravity-less void towards a city that seemed to have been blasted by a nuclear warhead, the iconic but ruined cityscape of Las Vegas approaching rapidly.

Nuada slammed through a few floors of the windowless and skeletal Wynn building, crashed through the burned-out Treasure Island Casino hotel, and landed in a crater on the ruined former Interstate 15, abandoned cars with still rotting human corpses being flung away from his impact as the wind escaped his lungs, but he felt no permanent damage thanks to the Light Hawk WIng armor. “Jeeves, any chance you can at least help me by telling me how to stop Bronze?” Nuada asked the air, knowing he’d be heard as he looked around in shock at all the corpses, those Bronze couldn’t save before the bombs claimed them, the sheer death and destruction far more impacting up close.

“I’m afraid Master Bronze is nigh omnipotent within this given pocket of existence.” Jeeves casually informed Nuada as he came into existence several paces away next to a flipped-over orange corvette, removing his double breasted tux jacket, and pulling off his tie, draping them over an arm. “Anything I could tell you would be meaningless here, so long as I am here to guide him, or act in his stead, even complete insanity will not avail you an advantage.”

“Just look around you!” Bronze’s voice echoed in duplicate, the area directly in front of Nuada’s face opening into a visor-sized portal rapidly displaying desiccated, dead, and destroyed locations. “This, is all MINE! This ruin of a dead world! It was things such as Greed, Selfishness, and Cowardice that created this! Created ME!”

Left Bronze, the one with the Cosmic Void for his left half, sneered furiously at Nuada from a short distance once the portal vanished. “And now the fools I saved are corrupting my new world!”

Right Bronze, the inverse, was grinning madly a distance to Left’s left, his eye eerily squinted with glee. “Christmas is just the beginning! Consumerism, the bit being worth more than the pony. A shopper trampled to death just another sad statistic, isn’t it wonderful?”

“LOOK WHAT GREED AND INDIFFERENCE HAVE DONE!” Bronze screamed in unison, one in fury, the other in joy.

“As you yourself might say. ‘No Need For Christmas.’” Jeeves snarked, before warping into Nuada’s personal space, going for a knee to his gut.

Nuada took the knee, getting sent flying down the highway, scattering wreckages like bowling pins. Oddly nothing exploded, and no oil or gasoline or other fluids went spilling as he tumbled through the husks of vehicles. Coughing slightly, Nuada winced as he felt a bruise taking hold. ‘That knee could have killed me in my normal armor….’ He thought as he moved to jump out of the pile of smashed vehicles, seeing that kick had sent him far enough north up the 15 to nearly hit the Spaghetti Bowl highway interchange.

“You forget something.” Nuada said taking up the traditional Jurain stance with his sword as Right Bronze and Jeeves appeared within sight. “If that was all that made up the humans then you wouldn’t have saved any of yours. You and I both know as bad as some humans can get, there are still some redeemable traits about them.” Nuada clenched his sword tight as he began to fly towards Jeeves. “And the most important things is Equestria is the land of harmony and friendship. Equestrian ponies will save your survivors and will corrupt what darkness is left in the hearts of humans with love and tolerance. For that to happen you need to chill the FUCK OUT!”

Nuada shot sideways instead of striking Jeeves, who blinked in surprise, and used the flat of his blade to slap Left Bronze in the side of the head launching the stallion into the sky out of the city into a random floating landmass that seemed to be sideways with a molten Eiffel Tower indicating the ruins there were once part of Paris.

“Aw, how sporting~! You used the flat of your sword. Such a gentledog.” Right Bronze cheerily beamed with his left half of a face.

“There is no need to hold back that much sir. So long as one of us stands, the Master will be alright.” Jeeves informed, before his eyes suddenly widened a bit. “Oh dear...I believe that might actually have been a weakness I divulged.”

“Well then feel free to pick up the slack Jeeves~! How about you show your full physical manifestation?” Right Bronze cheered while he pronked about as Nuada’s eyes widened in panic.

“Oh, very well sir. I do so dislike this form. It’s quite brutish.” Jeeves’ voice deepened as his body cracked, showing even more lines of light before exploding, sending shrapnel everywhere, and after having swatted the shards that would’ve hit him out of the way, Nuada was now facing down a smooth stone golem balrog, a winged balrog at that. “Master has such an affinity with satyrs and minotaurs, taurs in general really. This form’s restraints are much less, I hope you don’t mind being pulped, apologies in advance.”

“Don’t worry Jeeves I won’t die so easily.” Nuada replied, then charged towards Right Bronze with his sword dropped low for a sprinting slash.

Only for Right Bronze to surprise Nuada with a sudden VW Bug flying directly at him from Right Bronze’s position, forcing Nuada to slash the flying vehicle in half to spare being sent flying himself. “Blue Punch Buggy~!” Right Bronze hysterically cried out, and suddenly numerous specifically blue VW Bugs were launching from random points in the air at Nuada, forcing him to dodge as he approached the manic stallion. “No punch back!” Right Bronze taunted as Nuada slashed at his neck, only for the half-there alicorn’s head to detach on its own, causing Nuada to miss.

“Time to service our Volkswagon it seems.” Jeeves barbed as he appeared behind Nuada and performed a lightning-quick palm strike that the diamond dog barely managed to block with the flat of his greatsword.

“AAAAAAAAARGH!” Left Bronze screamed with primal rage as he appeared far overhead, holding a whole damn skyscraper, Paris’ former Tour Total that he telekinetically thrusted down at them, roof first, and Nuada barely had time to avoid the titanic impact zone before the hollow mass of steel and various other materials shattered the 15 and promptly crashed through the remains of the Spaghetti Bowl turnpike.

“Bronze I think you need a timeout.” Nuada said running up the length of the building heading for Left Bronze.

“Well why don’t we give you a tour of our hometown to apologize?! If you’ll look to your left!” Nuada snarled in fury as he suddenly found himself atop one of the nearby buildings instead of cutting Left Bronze to pieces. “YOU’LL SEE THE WORLD MARKET CENTER BUILDING A!” Left Bronze shouted from his spot in the air, and Nuada stumbled back as Right Bronze suddenly got in his face, his horn shining blue as darkness suddenly covered them.

“And above you’ll see Building B!” Nuada shot his head up to see the foundation of an equally enormous block-like building rushing down at them both, which Nuada roared about as he charged energy into his sword and swung, slicing clean through all 32+ floors of both Building A which he and Right Bronze stood on, and Building B which split over them.

Nuada grimly stood still as he leered at the no-longer smiling Right Bronze, who was frozen still as Building B crashed to either side of Building A, which was when both his cosmic and flesh halves split, and while the ether dissipated, Right Bronze’s dead flesh simply fell innards down, dumping blood onto the roof and down the clean cut Nuada made in it.

Nuada heaved air as energy bled off of him and he reverted to his juraian battle armor, sweat dripped from his face as he gasped for air. Maintaining the Light Hawk Wing form took a considerable amount of concentration and energy. It didn’t help this was his second time using them ever. “Aw, how cute.” Nuada froze, weakly looking up at the grim-faced Left Bronze who stood barely a few feet away next to his dead half. “You’ve left only the best parts of me insane.”

“I believe that’s quite enough sir.” Jeeves stated as he appeared next to Left Bronze and casually picked up the dead half of the stallion. “Beings you’ve lost half of your brain matter, I believe it’s for the best we put you back together now that you’re not overwhelmed with that odd manic energy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. Whatever.” Left Bronze said listlessly, the way the stallion seemed completely devoid of energy concerned Nuada, until the sheepdog about barfed at seeing Jeeves carelessly slap the open side of the dead half into the cosmic ether, and it knitted the two organic halves back together, restoring life to the dead half and making the living half cringe until they were back together again. “Ow~....” Bronze quietly whispered as he staggered and slowly lowered himself to the roof, forelegs over his head. “Did I hit the cider again?”

Gasping for air Nuada tried to explain. “You… *gasp* you went nuts on… *gasp* on us. Had to kick your ass.”

“Again?” Nuada quirked an eyebrow in surprise. “I haven’t gone into a blind berserking rage since the hydra attack.” Bronze grumbled, weakly opening his eyes, making Nuada’s heart race at seeing the stallion’s eyes were still opaque light blue swirls on eye-dominating dark blue irises with no pupils, but they weren’t shining, or spinning. “Why does everything have...seams?”

“Oh dear. It would seem whatever happened has increased Lord Bronze’s connection to his Aspect. It would explain why he was able to ignore limitations on the solidity of matter and move them about without negative feedback on the original objects he manipulated.” Jeeves pondered aloud, tsking as his body compacted back down into a human shape, reforming the glowing cracks as his preferred clothes returned to him. “This is a spot of bother. He isn’t ready to be able to splice apart and together different materials yet.”

“So that whole *pant* deal with the *pant* separating Cinder’s plot and my head?” Nuada asked for clarification as he lowered himself to the flat roof to sit down and catch his breath.

“Yes, such sophisticated quantum mechanics shouldn’t be available to him yet. Whatever energy infused Lord Bronze with his bout of insanity has given him an unexpected boost in his compatibility with his Aspect of Space, which is saying something.” Jeeves stated, before both exhausted males were seamlessly transitioned to be on the luxurious brown microfiber couches of Bronze’s main room, Bronze’s dogs and cats all quickly moving to comfort them in worry. But the dogs went straight for Nuada as the cats jumped on the tired and migraine suffering Bronze. “Take a rest here, whenever you wish to go back will be shortly after you’d have left.”

“Yeah...that sounds great….” Nuada rasped out as he let the dogs snuggle into him and closed his eyes.

[@]

Bronze’s front door opened in the air where he and Nuada last disappeared, the two both weakly stumbling out onto the deep snow with the door closing behind them. “Dude...whatever changes...I’m staying in my Personal Plane whenever this holiday comes around.” Bronze hissed as his head pounded, throbbing, the immediate area’s stability visibly wavering as snowflakes clumped together into snowballs and a nearby lamppost seemed to fuse with the ice covering it. “Flocking...ow….”

“Good idea, just be careful not to turn anyone into living golems or something with that freaky matter splicing power you’ve gotten.” Nuada edged away, worried he might turn into a more literal ‘snow dog’ than he already was.

“Ugh...I didn’t ask to go berserk and totally lose my shit Nuada. So sorry in advance if I end up splicing you with having a more unliving limb or something ala Fullmetal Alchemist.” Bronze grumbled, before the loud whinnies of the windigoes above reminded the two there was more dire matters than Bronze apparently becoming bullshit OP as the winter spirits all converged on them and pranced about, neighing. “What’re they doing?”

“I think they’re just surrounding us. Usually they’d just charge in and freeze us to death.” Nuada warily said as he prepared his Master Key. “You able to do anything to them?”

“What? No, not really. They’re not actually physically here. I can see there’s no seams on them, so they’re actual spirits, and spirits are beyond me. I only govern the Physical.” Bronze calmly said as he casually approached one that nickered at him. “They’re oddly docile….”

“Hm...it might be because there’s no source of obvious hatred to feed off of.” Nuada considered, reaching out with a paw and taking it back when just touching one of the spirits almost froze his paw solid. “But with the problems they’ve been causing, you’d think ponies would be filled with hate for them right now.”

“You can thank the purple alicorn and her pet succubus for that.” A wispy and ethereal mare’s voice echoed softly on the gentle breeze, getting the two to whirl on the source, both stunned into lowering their guard at the sight of the ephemeral beauty.

The regal snow-white unicorn mare had a stature comparable to the royal sisters, her icy blue mane and tail just as ethereal as theirs. She seemed to wear a sheer see-through gown of blue that draped tastefully over her body as her impassive face of otherworldly beauty examined them with her cold blue eyes. However, she was clearly just as much a ghost as the mindless horses around them, as they could faintly see through her.

“Once again, I am thwarted by the Fires of Friendship. However, that is fine. I see the world has changed so much in the time I have been gone. There is so much love in this world, but what hate there is festers so deeply, it is like a dark cancer in the hearts of the living. I thank you handsome stallion, for freeing me of my entombment in the Far Frozen.” The mare said with a faint smile on her otherwise impassive face. “Your hatred is so deep, so justified. I can find admiration for one with such all-consuming hatred.”

“Who are you?” Bronze leered, trying to ignore his pounding skull as the snow around them seemed to decrease in density, almost swallowing him and Nuada before compacting around them, leaving their heads above the snow as the mare weightlessly strode over to them, the two too weak from their previous fight to wrestle free of the sudden entrapment.

“I am Asphodel. Your kind remembers me as the Winter Witch.” She demurely chuckled as she neared the shivering Bronze who tried to use his magic, only for his horn to freeze solid in ice, causing his teeth to chatter as Nuada struggled to get free. The mare lowered her face to the trapped stallion, and smiled darkly. “Beyond that. I don’t quite remember much beyond a Hatred that has let me cling to this existence.” She then forced his chin up, and Nuada panicked when she kissed him, and visibly saw the black stallion rapidly become still.

“Leave him alone! Stop it!” Nuada hissed as he tried to draw upon his Light Hawk Wings, and managed to flash-cook the surrounding snow, and windigoes, before using the burst of energy to swing his sword at the ghost, who vanished before he could strike her, and he quickly freed his friend who was disturbingly still. “Wake up! C’mon! Don’t die on me!”

“His Hate was filling. Do be sure to keep him warm, I might want another taste sometime.” Asphodel’s voice lilted on the still air, ending on a haunting demure cackle as Nuada hugged the large stallion as best he could, the alicorn’s body having gone as cold and still as the snow around them.

“Help! Someone!” Nuada screamed before his Light Hawk Wings suddenly vanished again, leaving him completely drained, and he passed out on top of the dying alicorn.

Author's Note

............

No Need for Quarantine

Beeping caused Nuada to become aware of the world. The smell of antiseptic began to flood his nose as he tried to crack an eye open. The light was too bright and it took him a few minutes before he could see he was in a white room on a bed with a curtain around him. Looking around he saw a heart rate monitor hooked to him, and two vases of flowers, one had midnight blue roses, and the other had a mix of pink daffodils and red marigolds.

A groan escaped him as he tried to move and found his whole body aching, “What happened.”

“Doctor, one of them woke up.” A voice way too loud for Nuada called out.

“Oh, good.” A voice said back and an older mare walked into view.”Mister Nuada how are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a stampede of dragons.”

“A fair assessment, considering the evidence on you that you were struck quite hard several times by something several times bigger and stronger, and you almost died of heat exhaustion.” The mare doctor informed, getting Nuada to quirk an eyebrow at the slightly wrinkled puce mare in a doctor’s coat.

“Heat exhaustion? In the snow?” ‘Pretty sure I’d die of frost first considering the situation.’

“More common than you’d think sir. Ponies do it all the time from playing in the snow too hard and not realizing how much they’re exerting themselves.” The mare informed as she levitated his file from the foot of the bed. “Considering you had a run-in with the Winter Witch herself, you should consider yourself lucky to be alive.”

“Bronze! He was-!”

“He’s alive. Don’t get your tail all fluffed up.” The doctor rebuffed carelessly, getting Nuada to growl at her.

“Right so I take it you’re going to go let ponies who, I’m assuming are waiting for us to wake up, know that I’m up?” Nuada asked huffing.

“No.” She gruffly stated as she wrote something on his clipboard, the thought she was making negative notes on him made Nuada’s head get an anger tick.

“Why no?” Nuada asked in an irritated tone as the mare again wrote something else, adding another tick. ‘What are you writing? Want me to bite you?!’

“What I mean by no, is that you and the prince are under strict quarantine. You were just exposed to the most powerful ill-intentioned spirit in the known history of Equus, we need to have you monitored and separated until we can ensure neither of you are either possessed, mentally sabotaged, or cursed. And before you say they don’t exist like most of the unwashed or lied-to masses, curses do exist.” The mare said brusquely before she put his file back at the foot of his bed, and turned to leave. “Have a good night sir, we’ll check on you every hour.”

“Wait! What about Discord? Isn’t he considered a spirit?” Nuada asked dubiously, getting the mare to look at him as if he was mentally challenged. ‘I am SO biting you!’

“What backwater dolt told you Discord is a spirit? That’s like comparing Faust to a pebble. Beware, should the God of Chaos come for you dog.” The mare derided before leaving the room and turning off the lights.

“Bronze, your world is fucked up.” Nuada said to no one.

“Tell me about it.” Nuada heard Bronze’s voice all echoey in his head. “I mean, I thought it was bad enough, all mythical monsters everywhere. Cartoon physics. Ascending into a god against my will. It just keeps coming.”

“Bronze? When could you use telepathy?” Nuada asked aloud, trying to open the curtain only for an invisible barrier to stop his paws short of it by an inch.

“Since I spliced a small portion of my frontal lobe into yours about an hour ago.”

“That’s gross man.” Nuada stated blanching.

“Hey, I’m kinda a living mummy right now, being fed morphine, aspirin, about twelve other drugs in a cocktail, and more or less put in a plaster cast that absorbs ambient heat and gently puts it into me while my body regenerates from full-body frostbite. I kinda needed someone to talk to.”

“Okay I can deal with that I guess. So what do you think Celestia and the other Princesses are going to do about our quarantine?” He asked laying back down.

“It was mom who instituted it, and auntie who set it up. Apparently that hate-eating cold bitch is a seriously big deal in the world. She destroyed the entire country of Unicornia, which is now known as the Far Frozen. It took the Elements of Harmony just to stop her freezing the rest of the world after she recovered from her first encounter with the Fires of Friendship”

“I see, so we gonna go after her when we finish healing?” Nuada asked sensing for his master key, trying to call it to himself.

“Not really, then apparently we have to attend a ceremony awarding Sparkle and Cinder titles for saving Equestria with them spreading Fires of Friendship across the country and stopping Asphodel and her windigoes from getting a hoofhold down here.”

“Cinder and Sparkle spread the Fires of Friendship, here, in your world. No way.” Nuada stated in disbelief. Not sensing his sword in range he growled in annoyance and settled for laying back down.

“Way, from what I heard, when they were found, they were snuggling in the snow as warm and fuzzy as could be despite the cold. One of the nurses mentioned the picture in the paper was beyond adorable.”

“I must be delirious or something as that can’t be happening.” Nuada started thinking back to all the crazy fights the two of them had on a regular basis.

“Look, I’m stuck here, unable to move even with my powers because Jeeves cut me off since he can do that when I’m not in my Personal Plane. I’m lucky he let me do the lobe splice. So I’m just telling it as I hear it. For all I know it’s just wild rumor mongering, and ponies are ridiculously bad at that.”

“True, they are pretty bad about that. I’m sure they did something else than what we’re thinking.” Nuada stated exhaustion taking him again, “I’m gonna go back to sleep, talk more laters.”

“Nononononono-PLEASE! They’ve got me on something that keeps me awake! I’m immune to sedatives! Don’t-you’re already asleep aren’t you?!” Bronze screamed into Nuada’s dozing brain. “FUCK YOU! I’m going to endlessly whisper raunchy things into your head while you sleep!”

[(X)]

“So~.” Cinder lilted suggestively at Sparkle.

“I TOLD you, to NEVER bring it up again!” Sparkle hissed at Cinder in their private shared suite in the castle. The Princesses both more or less forced them to, having decided the two were obviously a repressed couple beings they had sprouted so many Fires of Friendship across the country.

“I was just gonna ask when you think they’ll let us see Nuada.” Cinder asked with a grin and a wink from her place laying on the bed.

“Ugh...I don’t know! It’s been days! The Princesses told me that the quarantine would only last until every single spiritual and anti-curse scan had been performed and they were physically capable of leaving their confinement without aid.” Sparkle stated as she paced around, her wings twitching agitatedly. “If that unbelievably refined golem hadn’t told us that time dilation from this universe to any others was completely avoidable, I’d be even more worried about this.”

“What about that medi-gel stuff, couldn’t you use that on him?” Cinder asked, “At least get the healing out of the way.”

“That’s the best part, apparently the Zecora of this world has something even better than medi-gel! Using hydra gland secretions! Why hadn’t I thought of that, though I guess I have been neglecting my studies while fighting the Reapers.” Sparkle said as she levitated a milky blue potion out from a satchel. “I was told if I drink this, I’d get more powerful, or it’d heal me fully much quicker than Medi-gel could. Only downside is this is poison to non-alicorns, so it’s only useful to me.”

“What about Nuada? He’s not an Alicorn, last I saw he was a Diamond Dog.” Cinder asked while rolling to her hooves.

“He was more-or-less fine. From what I can tell of this world’s medical practices, he’s likely already physically able to leave, but the quarantine is still ongoing or Bronze is still regenerating. Speaking of which, it was potions like this that gave Bronze his healing factor….” Sparkle considered as she looked at the milky blue potion. “More power. A healing factor….”

“It might be worth it, I remember how hard it was to beat those collectors and you and Shepard said that the reapers are even tougher.” Cinder commented, “that and I’ll have all the more to love~.”

“Sh-shut up!” Sparkle blushed as she grit her teeth angrily at the tall succubus, who merely wagged her eyebrows. “D-don’t you give me those eyebrows!”

“I know~ you love it when I give you smokey eyes Sparkle. Your embarrassment and, dare I say it? Affection, are just endearing.” Cinder teased, before smiling genuinely. “When Nuada comes back, I’ll hold him down for you if you want.”

Sparkle snorted in amusement before she cleared her throat. “As if I’d ever go along with such a thing, brute.” Sparkle grinned jokingly, both mares giggling. “But yes...I can see the advantages outweigh the negatives, even if temporary weight gain is one of the side effects.”

“Like I said Sparkle, more to love! A big plot gets everypony going. Maybe it’d even get Nuada to give you more than glances.” Cinder encouraged. “Drink up, it’s not like we’re going anywhere.”

“At least he gives my plot glances.” She shot back as she opened the potion and began chugging it.

“Oh I can still feel the lust on him when he sees me, though he does hide it so well, better than you even.” Cinder said watching the princess turned soldier chugging the admittedly large bottle, beings Princess Celestia was the one to share it from her stash, since the sisters keep a personal store in case they get hurt.

Sparkle stopped half-through, gasping and panting. “Ugh, I forgot how much fluids ponies the sister’s size could consume.” Sparkle upturned the bottle again, chugging again as Cinder whooped and hollered encouragement to her own silent amusement. When she finished all two or so liters of potion, she sighed in relief, before perking up, blinking in surprise. “Wow. I feel like I could run a marathon right now.”

“Well how was it?” Cinder asked curiously after calming down from her chanting of ‘chug, chug, chug’.

“Odd, to say the least. It tasted like snozberries, mixed with milk and a little Zebrican red tea.” Sparkle licked her lips, her full stomach all that kept her from wanting more.

“Oh snozberries I love those.” Cinder said with a smirk, “We sometimes get those down in Tartarus as part of the trade arrangements.”

“Huh, from what you explained of Tartarus before, I thought you got almost nothing in exchange for your exile there.” Sparkle commented as her stomach gurgled and she felt a bit queasy, but she did just drink a huge volume of liquids, so she ignored it.

“Due to the lack of food down there, part of the treaty was getting food supplies, doesn’t always reach the outer ring but sometimes we lucked out.” Cinder sighed remembering her old life, “I need to go home at some point and see about helping my family.”

“That’s right...they were-whoa!” Sparkle shuddered, her stomach growling like mad as she held her barrel. “Food!” Sparkle shouted as she ran from the room.

“This can’t end well.” Cinder smiled, prancing after the little alicorn.

[(X)]

*beep….beep...beep*

“Shut off. Shut off. Shut off.”

*beep….beep...beep*

“DEAR FAUST ALMIGHTY! MAKE IT-oh he’s awake! ENTERTAINMENT! WAKE UP YOU JACKASS!”

“No I want more sleeps.” Nuada mumbled rolling over putting a pillow over his head.

“You’ve been sleeping for TWO DAYS! I’m GOING TO FLIP OUT IF YOU DON’T TALK TO ME! The Doctor and nurses aren’t even talking when they come in anymore~! I will find the BIGGEST, STRAIGHTEST tree, and SHOVE IT UP YOUR-!”

“Fine! I will talk to you, but next time you can use light hawk wings. Wonder how that would work, since they feel like very Order based energy.” Nuada mused wondering what an alicorn would look like using the wings.

“Order can go fuck itself. Chaotic Good all the way!”

“No wonder your cutie mark is a Celtic Boar.” ‘The Discording and his eyes are pretty clear evidence of what sort of god he is if his opinions weren’t clue enough.’

“I’ve conformed to reality long enough for one lifetime, I’m making reality conform to ME now...wow that sounded like a really asshole thing to say.”

“Yeah, kinda.” Nuada agreed with a grin, until the doctor opened the curtain and eyed him suspiciously.”

“Who are you talking to.” She demanded, and Nuada growled from his chest.

“Bronze, he’s communicating telepathically. Before you ask how, he did something with my brain while we were fighting to give us an advantage. Before you ask why he hasn’t bothered you or the nurses, he needs to be able to focus to make the link.” Nuada informed with a rude tone. ‘Bitch, just try something. I’ll bite your ear!’

“Yeah you tell that bitch!”

“Hm….” She hummed as she took his clipboard, writing notes on it again, making him even more irritated. “Well. If what you say is true, then he’ll confirm it when we crack him open in a moment.”

“Yes! Freedom! Air not from a canister!”

“Don’t get so excited Bronze, the air’s pretty stale in here.” Nuada said aloud, and the doctor huffed before she moved over to the curtain in the corner of the room opposite Nuada’s bed, and watched the doctor and a couple nurses all pull back the curtain to reveal a large white solid plaster cast in the shape of a pony that had to have been Bronze. “Ew...how itchy is that thing?”

“You just HAD to remind me! Eugh! Get it off! My hide needs to breathe!”

“Ha serves you right for making me wake up.” Nuada stated laughing at the shaking plaster.

“Oh he’s definitely awake if he’s making this much fuss. Start the saw nurse.”

“...Saw?” Bronze asked weakly, and Nuada paled as one of the nurses levitated a round surgical motorized bone saw, turning it on. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~!”

“Have fun with that.” Nuada said shoving a pillow over his ears as he began to watch with morbid curiosity.

“Why did I give them my world’s medical technology~! I KNOW if they didn’t have this thing they’d be using a precision cutting spell instead!” Bronze bemoaned frantically as the nurse ran the saw down his back. “Watch the wings! WATCH THE WINGS!”

Nuada snickered at his friend’s torment as he watched the doctor and nurses surgically remove the cast from the stallion, since the plaster had lightly adhered to his body and they had to peel it off in sections. Eventually, the screaming into his mind stopped and the stallion stared off into space once he was freed. Thoroughly traumatized. “So...how do you feel?”

“I want my mommy….” Bronze whimpered as the nurses checked him over, and Nuada blushed when one of the mares checked his groin for any persistent frostbite.

“Well, he checks out Doctor Triage.” The nurse who was checking his groin reported with a faint blush.

‘No wonder she’s such a bitch….’

‘No wonder she’s such a bitch….’

“Good. Last thing I need is to tell the night princess she’s not getting grandkids. You’re both free to go. Now get out of my bunker.” Triage sniped, releasing all the spells restraining them to their beds so subtly and practically stomping out of the room.

“I think she needs to get laid.” Nuada remarked.

“You did NOT just say that.” Both nurses sneered at the dog, making both Nuada and Bronze shy away in surprise. “She’s….” They both aimed their ears out the door, and then whispered. “Barren.”

“And has dead nerves.” The other mare said with a shiver.

“Well now I feel like a jerk. Anyway Bronze shall we?” Nuada asked indicating a wish for teleporting.

“Yes! Sorry if I end up splinching us with something.” Bronze jumped out of bed, startling Nuada.

“What? Then wait-!” Suddenly; Canterlot. With their legs in the ground. “...I can still feel my legs?”

“Whoopsie! Fixing.” Bronze seamlessly rose them out of the cobblestone as if it was liquid. “Kinda shoved us into some seams in the stone there. I’ve gotta learn how to use my powers again now.”

“Okay, that was scary, but the whole liquid rock thing was cool.” Nuada commented as he checked his paws for any clinging stone to his body. “Hey...wait….” Nuada realized something. “...Bare streets….”

Bronze got a light bulb as he clued in. “Clear skies….” He said as he looked at the sunny cloudless day.

“It’s actually fairly temperate….” Nuada waved a paw at his face, his fluffy winter coat making him feel warm.

….

“SPRING?!”

“SPRING?!”

“Did we just sleep for two months or something?” Nuada asked looking around at the pompous ponies prancing about with their noses in the air.

“I was awake the whole time! But...then again that might’ve made me delirious and hallucinate things.” Bronze admitted, suddenly warping them into a dark bedroom with a night motif. “Mom! MOM WAKE UP!” Bronze screamed hysterically, getting Luna to jolt awake from her bed, causing a shovel to smack Nuada in the face.

“I’ll be outside.” Nuada said leaping out the bedroom window triggering his Juraian armor so he could slow his descent and land safely in the statue garden.

“Hiya dog.” Came an utterly annoying voice, making Nuada groan.

“What is it Discord?” Nuada asked, glaring at the statued form of the Draconequus.

“Nothing really, just want to thank you for the show! I mean, really. That colt is a natural at Chaos. It’s good to have a pony who knows the finer things in life.” Discord wistfully commented. “This world’s become so interesting while I’ve been asleep.”

“Well we obviously didn’t do it for you.” Nuada shot back.

“Well, you didn’t~....” Discord hinted. “The boar comes running over the fields, to kill who might harm it. However it turns and flees before the night that comes, and cowers from it’s betters. While none can claim to be it’s master, the boar is wise, and stays free while still prey to it’s own decisions.”

“I hated that about you back home, you always were annoying, welp have fun as a statue. I hope the pigeons find you.” Nuada said walking away.

“Oh they have! And I have tracked every offender from the first to their current descend-.” *splat* “I KNOW THAT’S YOU FLUFFLES WORTH THE 97TH! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!”

“NUADA!” Bronze screamed, the dog realizing the stallion’s head was sprouting from his chest. “We’ve been in quarantine for two months! You damn coma-prone ass! I was probably healed shortly after you went to sleep, but no~ you had to close your eyes when I was screaming at you to stay awake!”

“Bronze, get out of my chest.” Nuada said grabbing the pony’s head and yanking it away from him. The head pulled free and floated there. “Right, you’re nuts. So any clue where Cinder and Sparkle are? It’s probably best we head home.”

“Mom said they’re in Ponyville, they couldn’t take-.”

“AH~!” A random maid screamed bloody murder at the sight of the floating head and flew off. “GHOST~!”

“...Ugh...let’s just go.” Suddenly, Ponyville. “Welcome to Ponyville, population-.”

“AH~!” A random mare screamed bloody murder at the sight of the floating head and flew off. “GHOST~!”

“Bronze can you get your body over here, we don’t need to traumatize everyone even worse.” Nuada sighed as he began walking in the direction of Golden Oak Library, figuring that was a good place to start.

“Well, if you’d stop moving it’d be easier.” Bronze complained as his head flew along next to the diamond dog, causing all the ponies to stop their snow shoveling and other winter wrap-up activities and flee. “I mean, my body is still in your chest, you just caused the seam at my neck to separate since it was the path of least resistance.”

“You mean I did that, not you?” Nuada asked askance, and then shivered. “I...have a stallion inside me...get it out!”

Bronze blushed vividly at the phrasing. “Uh...oh...this just got awkward….” They both shifted around awkwardly. “Uh...no homo, kay?”

“Just get it out.” Nuada demanded as he pulled open his kimono’s chest, pointing at his fluffy fur for emphasis.

“But my body isn’t ready.” Bronze admitted in embarrassment.

“What do you mean it isn’t ready?!” Nuada demanded with anger.

“I mean it isn’t ready! I have to g-go back...inside you….” Bronze said with his ears back and cheeks flushed from the phrasing.

“...You are seriously making it hard for this situation to not be as awkward as humanly possible.” Nuada growled.

“Don’t you mean equinely possible?” Bronze asked rhetorically.

“Just do it!” Nuada shouted, and Bronze darted into Nuada’s chest, and the dog waited...and waited…. “Any second now!”

“Could you cool it?! I’m...kinda lost. I’m not sure what atoms my body’s been fused to. Just keep going to the library while I-well there’s my left wing...where’s the rest?”

“Goddamn it Bronze….” Nuada facepawed and sighed as he proceeded to continue on to the library.

“Nuada!” The diamond dog perked up at hearing Sparkle’s voice, but visibly wilted a bit at seeing it was Twilight instead. “It’s so good to see you! We were so worried when Triage kept reporting you were still in a coma and Bronze was still frostbitten.”

“Crap, so I WAS still frostbitten? Damn.”

“Rumors of our sickness was wildly overly exaggerated.” Nuada stated indicating he was fine.

“Oh, well in either case, Sparkle and Cinder have been living with me at the library. I’ll be sad to see them go, but a true friend knows when to let them leave.” Twilight said sagely. “Also. Cinder is really good with her mouth, you hold onto her.” Twilight winked, making Nuada blush as the mare trotted away, clearly still looking for a way to help with Winter Wrap Up.

“Oh yeah, forgot to warn you directly, my Twilight’s a flaming lesbian. Ever since she came out of the closet a few months ago, she’s just been...so...ew, you know? Nopony asks her what she was doing the night before, boom, she says it anyway. I don’t talk about my bedroom antics unless asked and even then not with strangers I’m not trying to encourage to boost their relationship. Oh hey, there’s my...uh...you don’t wanna know….”

“Well with Cinder needing to absorb lust energy I can’t say I’m surprised but still don’t want to hear this.” Nuada said rubbing his temples as he found the Library and walked in. “Hello? Cinder, Sparkle?”

“Nuada?” Cinder’s voice came from the kitchen, wearing a ‘kiss the cook’ apron, and she beamed before bolting across the library with her wings. “Nuada~!”

“Hey there, how was staying with Twilight?” Nuada asked, “Did you and Sparkle enjoy the break?”

“Did we? Well, I won’t speak for Sparkle, but I had an absolute blast! Ponies here are so much more open to things what with this ‘internet’ thing broadening their horizons. And the porn. So much porn.” Cinder gushed excitedly, making Nuada sweatdrop.

“Um that’s good I guess.”

“Good?! Nuada, in our world, we’re lucky if a cuss doesn’t burn a house down, and underpants are a potentially lethal weapon. But this world, it’s so free! I almost don’t want to go back home! Please move your tree here!” Cinder pleaded, getting on her plot and holding Nuada’s kimono in her hooves.

“Cinder you know we have ponies relying on us over there, we can’t just leave. I mean we still need to make a trip to Tartarus and save your family.” Nuada said dropping to a knee and giving her a hug.

Cinder paused, blinking, and then wilting. “Oh...right...how could I forget?” Cinder asked in shock. “This place is dangerous...can we go home before I forget again...but can I bring a computer? And some of that super soft tissue?”

“Cinder!” Sparkle yelled from the basement stairs, “control yourself."

“Yes Princess!” Cinder said, relaxing out of Nuada’s hug. Nuada swore he heard a growl from the basement.

“Still antagonizing each other?” Nuada asked with a look.

“It’s more a game by this point.” Cinder winked and nudged Nuada with an elbow.

“Alright grab anything you need, but you know I don’t have power at my place yet so computers are gonna be useless for a while.” Nuada pointed out heading for the basement.

“Whoa, hey, wait~!” Bronze interrupted by poking his head and a foreleg out of Nuada’s back, pointing at Cinder. “I can totally give you a computer and a generator. Your subspace tree house thing already has signal from the Doorway I put there, so all you need is some swag.”

“Bronze, could you please pull yourself together already?” Nuada pleaded.

“Dude, chill, I’ve already got both hindlegs, a foreleg, my...uh...stuff, and all my internal organs. Keep your pants on.” Bronze grumbled as he sank back into Nuada’s back, Cinder shivering at the sight.

“Ew...that reminded me of some parasites in Tartarus….” Cinder shuddered as she followed Nuada to the basement, tossing her apron off on the floor.

“Parasite sounds about right.” Nuada mused as he was walking downstairs. Nuada nearly fell down the stairs as he saw Sparkle sitting on a couch reading. She now sat as tall as Celestia from his world, and her mane was flowing in an ethereal wind. Clouds of pink and lavender drifted through the dark purple energy.

“What happened here?” Nuada asked seeing that her N7 armor was off to the side and resized.

“Oh, Celestia shared some of her alicorn boosting potions with me. I’m essentially at my maximum natural potential now, but I can still get even stronger magically and physically if I train. But this is as big as I’ll get, so don’t worry about me hitting ceilings with my horn like Bronze did.” Sparkle reassured as she sipped some tea. “Apparently I reached my potential much faster because, funny enough, Celestia was giving me triple the prescribed dose.”

“You should’ve seen her in the first week! She got so fat~!” Cinder teased the princess-soldier who frowned disapprovingly at her. “It was so hot.”

“Don’t.” Sparkle warned.

“And don’t get me started on the boosted libido!” Cinder beamed, before she was suddenly launched up the stairs and the door slammed behind her by purple magic as Sparkle faintly blushed and facehoofed.

“Oh yeah...I forgot about the libido part. Then again my mares were jumping me constantly while I was on the potions.”

“Bronze, do you have all your body parts together yet?” Nuada asked in exasperation, getting Sparkle to look at him oddly.

“Yep!” Sparkle yelped at seeing Bronze’s muzzle poking out of Nuada’s chest. “I’m coming out slowly. Do not yank on my head this time!” Bronze chided as he began slowly coming out of Nuada as if emerging from a sideways pool of water that didn’t cling to him. “Sup Sparky. My Space Aspect kinda got freaky after the freak out.”

“Yeah, obviously. You’re utilizing all sorts of quantum mechanics right now that would take a ridiculous amount of equipment and energy just to replicate.” Sparkle commented as she watched in fascination, humming. “Hey, Bronze, how would you feel about helping save a universe?”

“Do I get to shoot things?” Bronze asked with a stupid grin in a voice eerily similar to Joker’s.

“Lots of things. Shepard was trying to convince the earth council the reality of the threat of the Reapers. We’re not sure when they’re going to appear but we’re gonna need every able body fighter to stop them.

“Are they immune to quantum singularities?” Bronze asked seriously.

“They are resistant to some biotics, and magics not sure about singularities.” Sparkle said thoughtfully.

“No, no I mean actual star-eating black holes, the kinds that destroy entire systems.” Bronze clarified.

“Oh no they are affected by black holes like everything else, not sure how that would affect any planets they hit.” Sparkle replied.

“I could just swap a black hole from somewhere with the space immediately near a Reaper and we could eat popcorn from a minimum safe distance as we watch it get crushed by the gravity well.” Bronze suggested as Nuada moved to the couch and plopped down next to Sparkle as he poured himself tea.

“Good point, but are you ready to do that against a fleet that could harvest an entire galaxy?” Sparkle asked spreading her forehooves for emphasis.

“Meh, I’d just swap the black hole with a portion of each individual reaper, basically cripple individual ones instantly. It’d take a while, unless I had multiple black holes to work with. It’d mostly involve if my transport was fast and skilled enough to avoid enemy fire while I do my job, otherwise I’d just disperse myself into the constituent atoms in the region and do it.”

“Sounds like you’d be spreading yourself pretty thin.” Nuada said with a straight face.

“That’s seriously underplaying it Nuada. I had to fish around in your atoms to find all the bits of myself. If I disperse myself in the air, which is infinitely less dense than you, and worse, if I were to disperse myself into a vacuum? I don’t know how long it’d take to rebuild myself without using substitutions. Which is why I mentioned the ship idea first.” Bronze stated with a shudder. “I mean, what if I did that, and to come back, became a purely theoretical entity of pure mass? No genetics, nothing.”

“I Think I would rather you limit yourself. I already have ponies like Mistress Change, and Duncan to help as well, no need to try and win by yourself.” Sparkle said drinking some tea herself.

“Well yeah, that aside...do you have access to Geth weaponry?” Bronze was suddenly an uncomfortably close proximity with Sparkle’s face, making her gently push him away with a hoof.

“Um some, it’s hard to get ahold of but the commander did have some he kept in storage, assuming it wasn’t all confiscated by the alliance.” Sparkle said tapping her chin with her hoof. “To be honest though I’ve supercharged everyone’s guns with magic splicing, even Garrus let me upgrade his sniper rifle to fire cryo rounds to help with shattering armor.”

“Aw...because in Element Zero, my favorite weapons were the M-76 Revenant Light Machinegun, and the Pulse Sniper Rifle. They were good, and they were often logically available from a lot of enemies on drop.” Bronze mentioned. “That aside, I’d be glad to help. I also need some serious combat experience, if me getting my plot hoofed to me every time I go into a berserking rage tells me anything.”

“Well you can come visit my world, I’m taking Duncan on as a student, an extra wouldn’t be bad, though I would require you not use your powers, and fight and train as a ‘normal’ alicorn.” Nuada said, “though I might ask for supplies, feeding everypony gets expensive.”

“No worries, there’s enough heavily preserved crap from Terra to feed an army ten times over. And that’s not including all the fresh stuff Jeeves tosses into time stasis. Getting that time-locked freezer was a bitch.” Bronze grumbled as he sat down, only for Sparkle’s hoof to pop off his chest, leaving a beating heart to be seen that he quickly grabbed from Sparkle’s stunned-still hoof to cover up.

“Ah Kirito can make a similar temporally stagnant field.” Sparkle said, “though I am confused where Kirito gets the energy to maintain everything he does.”

“Don’t question the magical Juraian Space Tree Sparkle. Just don’t. Tenchi Muyo is levels of dumb that not even I can comprehend.” Bronze stated as his ear twitched, and he popped it off to scratch the crease before popping it back on.

“I can explain some of it to you later, though it gets into overpowered realms pretty quick.” Nuada explained dismissing the topic with a wave of his paw.

“Good, don’t break Sparkle’s mind with ridiculous stuff like that. She’s gotta keep her powerful brain on important things. Like how she can utilize Pinkie’s Fourth Wall abilities.”

“You called?” Pinkie suddenly asked, poking her head out from under Bronze’s left wing.

“Nah, but it’s nice to see you Pinkie.” Bronze simply reacted, popping off his left foreleg to pat her on the head. “I missed you Pinks.”

Pinkie blushed as her hair straightened out, making Sparkle visibly freeze in panic. “Uh...yeah...sure Bronzie….” Pinkie then sank under his wing and was gone when he opened it.

“Ta da~!” Bronze hammed like it was a stage trick.

“Right so, Sparkle you ready to go?” Nuada asked rolling his eyes, “I’d like to get home and recover, though Bronze when that winter witch rears her ugly head, give me a call.”

“Be sure to...uh...how? Do you even have a token?” Bronze asked in confusion, only for a watch of some sorts to drop out of a trap door in the air into his hooves.

“Yeah Jeeves has it somewhere that’s how he found me way back when he through me at you and AJ.” Nuada said holding up his wrist showing the GXP communicator.

“Oh~! So this thing that Jeeves just dropped so conveniently into my hooves at the last second...yeah...I’ve gotta get him to stop doing that….” Bronze grumbled as he pressed the GXP watch into his chest and he absorbed it like his body was water subsuming something. “...Huh...that’s a much cooler way to store things.”

“That looks gross and I will never get use to it.” Nuada said a little green, “anyway, that was built by Starswirl so you can use it to directly call Sparkle or myself.”

“Hey~ Swirly! Old bat! How ya doin’~?!” Bronze suddenly started shouting into the air, pieces of the GXP watch covering his left eye and ear. “Still got them bells playin’ songs boi~?! He hung up! SO RUDE~!”

“Bronze can you not harass Starswirl, he’s very busy researching.” Sparkle said with a sigh.

“I just sent him information stockpiles on various universes to double-check if he’d like to in his spare time. He said it was unnecessary but nice of me.” Bronze beamed, making the two just utterly baffled when he did that, considering it seemed he just outright harried the old wizard just then. “Anywho, just grab me whenever, I’ll grab you whatever, okay ladies love ya bye-bye~!”

Suddenly; Subspace, and the door to Bronze’s cave closed behind them, with Cinder blinking in confusion next to them as Ushio and Bestla blinked at their sudden arrival in the dining room, and the door’s relocation from the spare room.

“Sparkle you got taller in the last five minutes.” Ushio stated confused looking at the extra door. A small crash brought everyone to the last spare room where a solar ‘generator’ was sitting surrounded by computers, powercords, desks, chairs, and a 24 pack of klinox brand tissues. Sparkle’s hoof met her face so hard, Bestla thought she broke her nose.

“Well...all this aside...who’s the hot dog? Where’s Nuada?” Bestla asked curiously.

“I’m here.” Nuada said as his diamond dog form melted away, revealing his normal human form. “Before you ask no, I don’t like shapeshifting, and the only reason I can do that is the Displaced Bronze, now let's go have dinner.”

“Tina! You fat lard, come get some dinner!” Bronze called from the dining room, and Nuada sighed before he saw Bronze’s door now in the spare room instead, and he winked from it before closing the door again.

Author's Note

And at last, the Hearth'smas arc has ended! Say hello to the drawbacks of Bronze's new BS powas! :applejackconfused:

Bedtime! :ajsleepy:

Chronological Next Chapter with Clockworklich! A Fox and a Batty Bat.

Feeling Not-so Pinkie Keen....

His masterpiece, it was just about finished with it’s first stage! It had taken a few days of obsessively continuing construction on his slightly insanity-driven desire to do one, simple, thing.

Recreate Kami’s Lookout from Dragonball to make a gog-damn Hyperbolic Time Chamber properly.

But first! Came Korin’s Tower! “I pluck a stone, make it polished and shone~.” Bronze summoned yet another not-so-random gigantic block of Canterhorn mountain’s inner levels of incredibly dense and stable white stone. “I carve and grind, no I don’t mind~.” Bronze then, without touching it, molded the block into a perfect copy of the section of pillar/tower he was standing on. “Then I allow it to be felled~!” Bronze was crushed by the section of stone pillar, which then seamlessly molded into the matching stone pillar below it as Bronze simple came out the top of it. “To get it to meld~!”

Bronze then broke out into a fit of manic giggles, his swirled eyes spinning. “There! I think that’s high enough!” Bronze stated as he warped to the edge of the thick and sturdy vertical pillar and looked down, down, down at the world below, from up there he could see all of the Everfree and the lands just beyond, the air up there was thin, and would’ve been hard to breathe if Bronze didn’t just bring air from ground level straight to his lungs. “Hm, I’ve got to figure out how to get more air up here for ponies who can’t just nerf logic like I can.”

“Son!” Came the sonorous voice of Bronze’s mother, getting the crazed stallion to blink and look off to the side and see his mother Luna land on the edge of the ornate pillar, giving him a reproachful look. “Thou hast avoided everypony for days! Dost thou not remember the peril thou art in?” Luna demanded as she trotted closer to him, getting him to look at her in bewilderment.

“Whatever do you mean mum? I’m just dandy! Perchance a mite randy. But that could be due to our isolation and lack of masturbation. For look! I can see out over a grand portion of our nation! Dost this location, not suit our station and vocation-ACK!?” Bronze snarled at a needle being jabbed into his neck, and he hissed ferally before Luna cast the Liquid Pain spell she learned from Rin on a large decanter, which promptly began to fill with the potent red liquid of pure power. “Ah...uh….” Bronze weakly uttered as his glowing and spinning eyes slowed down, before stopping and ceasing to glow. “Oh...I did it again didn’t I?”

“Thou certainly did. This is the third time thou hast forgotten to come to us for treatment. We art considering placing a binding spell upon thee to forcibly bring thee to us when it is time to-.” Luna had to summon another container as the decanter began to overflow with Bronze’s fluid agony. “-to bring thee back to sanity.” Luna stated with a disappointed tone, and Bronze wilted as the needle finished injecting the Sanity Serum into his Carotid Artery.

“Sorry mom….” Bronze despondently apologized, he’d been overcome with his sudden obsession to recreate Korin Tower and the Lookout to ‘properly’ recreate the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, and he’d completely lost himself before his sanity had slipped. ‘This is why I stopped playing Minebuild and Skybound….’

“It is not alright, but we can sympathize son with thine inability to resist succumbing to thine impulses under that serpent’s influence.” Luna gently admonished as she looked at the large beaker she’d moved the Liquid Pain spell to, wearily and worriedly looking at just how much pain the serum was causing her child. “It is still getting worse. Were it not for this spell, the serum would have killed thee from shock this time.” Luna then closed off the spell, making Bronze hiss at the soreness the needle had left behind before Luna magically sealed the decanter and beaker with wax and sent them to the Shadow Realm for Rin to pick up at her leisure as per their agreement.

“Mom, I’m scared. I don’t know how much longer we can do this before I do something irrevocably horrible to somepony.” Bronze sniffled as he laid down on the monument to what he could only consider his madness. ‘Great, now I don’t have the drive to finish this project. I think I’ll just build Korin’s Tower and put the Doorway to the Hyperbolic Time Chamber here instead of trying to create a Geostationary platform even higher in the atmosphere...wait…. “Mom, how’re you breathing up here? I mean, I’m bringing fresh ground-level oxygen to my lungs, what’re you doing?”

Luna blinked at the astute question, as if it were unusual. “Son, we can fly in the depths of space and not need any air. Alicorns and other godly beings don’t follow conventional rules.” Luna answered simply, and Bronze blinked before he stopped bringing ground-level air to his lungs, and blinked again.

“Huh...well, that’s cool.” Bronze mused, before shrugging. “Oh well, want to see me finish Korin’s Tower mom?”

“We would love to son, but thou has already missed some goings-on with thine friends, and they art concerned.” Luna mentioned before yawning. “Also, we art exhausted from having sought thee out during our sleep hours. Good day son, and please see to thine friends and lovers, they miss thee.” Luna softly admonished before teleporting, likely to her room, and Bronze felt like crap for having completely isolated himself from his friends and family.

Again.

‘You’d think that Equestria and all my friends would’ve changed that about me, but I still run away….’ Bronze despondently thought to himself as he warped from the top of his unfinished tower in the middle of the depths of the Everfree and popped out of thin air in the middle of Ponyville Central Square, blinking at seeing some sort of runway-style stage being disassembled. “Whoa, did I miss a fashion show or something?”

“Yes, and it was a good one at that.” Bronze turned to see Spike in all his teenage draconic glory sitting on his haunches and crossing his forelegs/arms as he looked at Bronze disapprovingly, further enhanced by how he kept his long serpentine neck as tall as possible to let him leer down at the alicorn from an even higher few feet over Bronze’s 8 foot height. “Dude, you’ve been gone for almost a week! The fact we guessed you were the one building that ridiculously tall stone monument in the Everfree was all that kept us from panicking about you going off the deep end again.”

Bronze winced at one of his few guy friends being so visibly upset with him. “Spike, I’m sorry. I kinda did...again. I guess we should be lucky that building Korin Tower was all i did while I was wacko again.” Bronze informed sadly. “So I’m guessing those dresses Rarity was making turned out great?”

“Yea, the ‘first time’ with little stress on Rarity too according to Twilight. She instantly shut down anypony’s complaints about her dresses and forced us to hold this fashion show, even got Hoity Toity to attend somehow.” Spike rolled his eyes but smiled softly. “All this ‘knowledge of the future’ garbage may be a headache, but it’s nice that Twilight is trying so hard for all of us. I just hope she doesn’t burn herself out keeping tabs on all these time shenanigans.”

“Me too. Warned her not to worry about it, but eh, Twilight is as Twilight does.” Bronze shrugged, before getting a familiar, if hushed gasp from behind him, and Bronze broke out in a beaming smile as he spun around to see Pinkie Pie. “Pinks! Sup mare? I missed ya while I was off in OCD Lala Land.” Bronze smiled radiantly, but he stopped in bemusement at seeing Pinkie’s knees wobble, put a hoof to her chest, and her cheeks blush. “Uh...Pinks?”

“GottagonicetoseeyouagainBronziebye!” Pinke rapidly sputtered out, and ran off fast as she usually did, leaving Bronze and Spike completely bewildered.

“What’s with Pinks?” Bronze asked his dragon buddy, who shrugged.

[@]

Pinkie bolted into her bedroom upstairs of Sugarcube Corner, slamming the door shut and leaning back against it while standing on her hind legs and clutching her chest worriedly with her forehooves as her hair straightened out. “No~! Pinkie, you Pinkie Promised you wouldn’t...but you did!” Pinkie worriedly stated to herself before she let herself back on all fours, her knees still weak, her heart still fluttering, her face still flushed. “I knew I had a crush on him for a long time, but he already has AJ, Zecora and Shamy! You promised you wouldn’t let this happen!”

Pinkie shouted at her reflection as she walked into her bathroom, a flustered and embarrassed Pinkamena reflected in the mirror. “But he’s so dreamy! He’s a total hunk, he’s sweet, and even though he doesn’t like parties, he’s so silly and fun! Help me out here Gummy!” Mirror Pinkamena rebutted, switching views to the baby alligator suddenly on the countertop, that slowly blinked one eye, then the other out of sync. “I know! He’s our dream colt!”

“But you just said he doesn’t like parties! Our stallion has to love parties!” Pinkie weakly countered, feeling even more unsure of herself. “I mean, we Pinkie Promised Ourselves we wouldn’t fall for him~!” Pinkie wailed and cried into the sink, Pinkamena in the mirror looking down at her sadly. “And now, after having been away from him so long, it just hit me so hard~!”

“But...you know the Old Rules...we found him First.” Pinkamena growled out, getting Pinkie to sniffle and hiccup. “By tradition, that should mean we have first dibs on him.” Pinkamena ground out angrily. “But we were too shy about it, Applejack got the courage to ask for his companionship first, then Zecora, then Shampoo, and we just silently stayed on the sidelines, when he should be Ours!”

“B-b-but they’re all our Friends! Friends don’t hurt friends!” Pinkie countered in an upset tone, before Mirror Pinkamena reached out and grabbed the skin of her chest with her hoof, and hoisted her up to eye level, Pinkie’s eyes widening in fear as Pinkamena glared into her.

“Then by all rights, they hurt us first!” Pinkie dropped to the floor of her bathroom, laying still, her reflection gone as it should be, but Pinkie raised her head and an angry scowl marred her usually smiling, happy face. “It’s time we do something to make us happy Pinkie.”

[@]

“AJ you know I’m sorry~.” Bronze whined pathetically as he crawled behind his First Mare in prostration as the upset and annoyed orange mare trotted away with her current load of apples in baskets on her back.

“Eeyup.” Applejack simply replied, getting Bronze to have tears pour out of his eyes in thin waterfalls. AJ only ever did this if she was genuinely upset.

“Yer lucky Ah don’t cuff ya one on the noggin for all the worryin’ yer idiocy been causin’ mah family.” Big Mac angrily stated, making Bronze whimper, Big Mac only spoke more than a few words when he was similarly upset.

“Please~! Shampoo’s already kicked me out of the mansion, Zecora’s thrown acid vials at me, and now you’re not even letting me apologize either~! Have pity on my crazy self!” Bronze pleaded, getting a huff out of AJ and she kicked a clod of dirt and grass onto his face, spearing on his horn, and making him choke on a sob.

“Look, jus’ let things cool down. Now that they’ve gotten their say in, let em cool their heads. Then try again, even if yer a neglectful idiot.” Big Mac angrily snorted after his words. “We jus’ care ya foal, but right now we’re all quite upset with ya.” Big Mac then continued after his sister, leaving the depressed and crying Bronze to reflect on his constant neglect of his friends and lovers the past months.

‘First, it was me going loco-in-the-coco at Hearth’s Warming, then I was gone for two months, then the Estrus hit not even a week after I got out, so there was that, and now I’ve just been...away, all the time. I’m a horrible friend and lover~!’ Bronze sniffled and shuddered with a silent sob, before he felt a warm body hug his neck and nuzzle the spot between his ears.

“Shh. Auntie Pinkie is here.” Pinkamena with her straight and shiny hair cooed as she removed the dirt from his face and wiped the tear-caused mud off his cheeks. “She’ll make it all better.”

“Pinks?” Bronze asked in surprise, before she nuzzled his cheek, and walked behind a tree, vanishing from his spatial senses. “Why...did she feel different?”

[@]

AJ was dumping her bushel of apples into the root cellar of the barn, trying and failing to stay mad at her stallion, before sighing and wilting. “Mac...Ah had no clue bein’ this mad would hurt me too….” AJ whispered as she let her brother dump his load of apples by moving aside from the underground silo’s hatch. “Ah feel right rotten now. Ah jus’ wanna gallop on back and apologize to ‘im. Ah wanna kiss ‘im, tell ‘im Ah’m not sore no more and jus’ make up.”

“AJ, let me tell ya. Right now, he feels lower than dirt. But he needs to learn he can’t just take off without a how-do-ya-do.” Mac gently told his sister who was looking back at the orchard she’d left Bronze sadly. “Don’t ya give in so soon. He’s gotta get it in his screwy head he can’t leave ya lonely so carelessly.”

“He’s learned enough.” Came a disturbingly furious voice, and before Mac could do more than blink, a wooden mallet struck him over the head, knocking him out cold and making AJ gasp in shock at seeing Pinkamena standing on her hind legs, her forehooves wrapped around the handle of the offending weapon, sporting the most enraged expression she’d ever seen on a pony. “I think it’s you who needs a lesson in pain!”

[@]

Zecora was slowly and tiredly reversing the damage her acid vials had done to her home from her infuriated and uncalled-for assault on her coltfriend and mate. Sure, his neglect was cause for distress, but it wasn’t until he’d fled that Zecora had snapped out of it, and wept at hurting the stallion she loved. “I should leave the stains, to remind me of my pains.” Zecora sadly mused as she stopped using a restorative potion on a hole in her floor to stare at it in sadness. “I have been too late to realize, I should have allowed him to apologize.”

“Far, far too late….” Came a snarling voice, and before Zecora could react with her warrior reflexes, a cloth flour sack was pulled over her head, and she struggled when somepony on her back began to strangle her.

[@]

Shampoo was blankly staring at the ceiling over her, laying splayed out on the grand oversized bed she usually shared with Bronze...some months ago, before the Windigo Invasion. It was just as cold and lonely without him as ever, worse actually after she’d lashed out at him finally returning and even used her hair to force him from his own home to Vivian’s protests.

The formerly unhinged mare was hating herself right now. She too was once insane, driven to compulsion and vile action by her psychosis. Where was her sympathy for her stallion, who was now also facing insanity, and unlike her lacked any potentially normal chance to recover? Oh, there it is, as she laid here, alone, once more, without her beloved.

“He saves me...and this is how I repay him?” Shampoo weakly asked herself, dried tear stains darkening her cheeks as the purple and green mare turned over and curled into a ball, planning to sleep alone once more in sadness.

“Apparently so.” Shampoo didn’t even get to open her eyes before the blankets practically closed around her, and she screamed in shock, unable to escape the odd confinement even with her incredible strength of both body and hair.

[@]

Bronze warped into Ponyville General, frantically rushing to the reception. “Where’s Mac?! I just got the news that he’s been admitted with a concussion.”

“He’s this way my prince.” Nurse Redheart informed as she quickly pranced into the hospital, Bronze following. “He’s recovering quickly as expected of an Earth Pony, but we’ll still be keeping him overnight and awake so his concussion doesn’t kill him before he stabilizes.”

“Don’t worry about that, just let me see him and I’ll fix him.” ‘Gotta admit, the power to just put things ‘just so’ is awesome, kinda scary I can do it to living things though. I hope that Discord guy is willing to let me be sane again so I don’t accidentally do something awful….’ Bronze mused as Redheart quickly guided him to his assaulted friend, who was blankly staring off at the ceiling with glazed eyes as Granny Smith held his hoof at his bedside. “Granny, what happened?”

“Ah don’ know young’n. Ah heard a scuffle by the barn and took a trot from mah rockin’ chair to see the ruckus. Done found Mac laid out like a sack o’ taters and signs a’ struggle done happened. Ah hollered fer Applejack, but she didn’t come gallopin’ even when Ah hit the dinner bell which nopony would miss.” Granny worriedly informed as she rubbed her grandson’s hoof in concern. “Ah’m just thankful Bloom’s off with her friends right now, she’d be plumb scared a’ what happened.”

“Well whatever happened, Mac’s gonna tell us once I get his brain sorted out, give me a minute granny.” Bronze gently soothed the elderly mare, who nodded in consent as he rounded the bed and got his forehooves on the bed, lowering his head to Mac’s and laying his long horn across his temple. ‘Holy hell, he took a really bad hit with a blunt object, no hoof or otherwise could leave an indent like that in the skull, he’s lucky he’s so tough that only a concussion was the result.’

It took only a moment, Bronze moved the cracked pieces of skull back into place, fusing them together in the spots they were supposed to be, and then set about reducing the swelling in Mac’s brain and reset the damage area to it’s original state. Mac quickly jolted into awareness and gasped as he bolted upright, practically tossing the larger, heavier stallion to the floor if he didn’t flare his wings to balance himself. “AJ! She took her!”

“Who? Who took AJ?!” Bronze snapped to alert at Mac’s statement, not even knowing anything had happened to AJ as of yet, since the messenger who sought Bronze out was only informed of Mac’s condition, and that as a close friend, Bronze would want to be informed.

“Ah was already conked out, but ‘fore mah sight went dark, Ah saw pink. Plenty of pink.” Big Mac asserted severely, and Bronze’s eyes widened in shock as his ears bent back.

‘Oh no….’

[@]

“-Ah-ha-ha-ha~! Pinkie~! Stahp~! HA~ ha-ha~!” Applejack cried helplessly, tears streaming down her face as she was stretched out on a table by all her hooves, some sort of apparatus above her mercilessly tickling her all over with feathers.

“We are sorry, please, release us from this torment!” Zecora pleaded, her lips drooling as she was tied up in ribbons to a chair at a small table and blindfolded with her mouth just out of reach of utterly delicious and succulent fatty fruit cake that was hot, fresh, and made her stomach roar with want for the delectable delight so close, but unattainable.

“I don’t get what’s so bad about this. I find it enjoyable.” Shampoo cooed as Pinkamena desperately tightened the rack that she’d fastened Shampoo’s mane and tail to since they were the biggest danger, only to pull more hair out of the mare like she was a bottomless pit of beautiful locks of hair as her body actually shrank down a bit, like her body was nothing but hair. “Ah~...so much tension is just flowing out of me….”

“I’m not hurting you right?” Pinkamena asked worriedly of the once huge mare, as she’d shrunk down to almost the size of a normal pony from all the pulling the improvised rack of rolling pins and various other cookware had done to her.

“Mm, not at all. I’d say keep going if doing that wouldn’t make me too small for Bronze’s tongue.” Shampoo admitted with a relaxed sigh. “Gonna be Tartarus to get back up to size though, might even need to eat more hair.”

“Oh~ This isn’t working! I can’t do this anymore! I just wanted you all to learn a lesson about hurting your loved ones, and instead I’m just making AJ laugh, Zecora hungry, and Shampoo teeny-tiny!” Pinkamena lamented as she moved to a mirror, Pinkie looking out at her in concern. “Pinkie, I don’t know what to do! They’re our friends and I’ve already hurt them enough, but how do I apologize for this?” Pinkamena asked her usually cheery self.

“Y-ya could-*giggle*-git us outta-ha-ha-ha-this first~!” Applejack managed to sputter out between chortles.

“She’s right, we have to let them out and try to apologize. This is all your fault you know.” Pinkie leered at her more vindictive half, who suitably seemed ashamed. “We should’ve just admitted our feelings to that huge hunky silly dummy, not foalnap his herd and torture them.”

“Pinkie Pie, please say it is a lie. Do I hear a conversation of ‘Me Myself, and I’?” Zecora asked from her bound chair, her ears attentively angled towards the pink mares, who both froze in realizing they’d been seen and heard speaking to themselves.

“No, it seems Pinkie has MPD or somesuch on a level capable of magical manifestation. Not the oddest thing, seen a few villains who had it like Two-Face.” Shampoo informed as she crossed her forelegs and nodded as much as her hair restraints would allow. “It’s not a big deal, it would explain why Pinkie has such an extreme personality archetype compared to most ponies in her occupation.”

“Tha-a-a-ats all well and-gah-hah-good! But git us outta these things!” Applejack desperately shouted, and suddenly the mare’s bonds vanished by sinking into the floor. “Whoa nelly! That was...quite somethin’.”

“At last, the cake shall not be fake!” Zecora cheered after her bindings had simply fallen off and through her to the floor, and then she pounced on the cake with ravenous aplomb.

“Whoa, whoa, WHOA!” Shampoo squeaked as the rack vanished and her hair all rapidly flowed back into her, causing her to grow back into her previous alicorn-level stature. “Oof...that felt really odd. Like having too much to eat at once.” Shampoo shook herself, and gasped at feeling a large body next to her, hugging her.

“I’m sorry you three, for not being there for you for a while, and not coming sooner.” Bronze softly apologized as he nuzzled Shampoo, and then leveled a powerful glare at both Pinkamena and Pinkie reflected in the mirror, who were both looking directly at him despite Pinkamena not even looking at the mirror. “So Pinks, I take it all your teasing and being ‘stupid sexy Pinkie Pie’ were all you actually trying to get my attention?”

“Duh you stupid sexy studly stallion! I thought it was obvious!” Pinkie Pie in the mirror squealed in an upset tone.

“We’re not exactly good at conveying things in ways most ponies can interpret….” Pinkamena grumbled as she kicked a hoof.

“And then we see you after months apart, and our Pinkie Senses just kept flooring us with Knee Knock-Heart Flutter-Face Flush~!” Pinkie wailed and started bawling, the mirror starting to fill with tears.

“We couldn’t take it anymore, we were even fighting over the issue. So I decided to try and take things into my own hooves...look where that got us….” Pinkamena sadly mumbled, before suddenly finding her face being hugged into the chiseled and buff chest of her affections, making her straight hair puff back out in shock.

“Oh, you poor girls. I’m so sorry. You know I’m an oblivious dunce though! You should’ve just told me!” Bronze tiredly chastised them, getting both Pinkamena in his hooves and Pinkie in the mirror to sniffle. “But what’s with the split personalities?”

“I don’t know. One day, a bright rainbow exploded across the dreary sky, banishing the gloom and the sad, and I woke up.” Pinkie in the mirror said. “Pinkamena was just so happy she didn’t notice, I didn’t either really. But as time went on….”

“I was just content to sit back, relax, be happy.” Pinkamena admitted shyly as her hair straightened back out. “But I’ve always been more prone to anger and other more extreme negative emotions than Pinkie, while Pinkie’s been the opposite, prone to joy and just so...good.” Pinkamena weakly said as she leaned into the worried stallion as the mares she’d been torturing all gathered around in concern. “I forgot how tiring being awake and active is….”

“Pinks, this isn’t healthy. Why don’t you see somepony about this?” Bronze asked as Zecora neared and ran her hooves over Pinkamena’s face and head.

“Hm, I cannot properly examine her, but we should get her to a doctor post-haste. She looks and feels ill.” Zecora urged, helping support the dozing mare before Bronze levitated her onto his back and picked up the mirror Pinkie was in.

“What about you Pinkie? What are you doing in there?” Bronze asked in concern as he turned the mirror around, touching it with his hoof and blinking in surprise. ‘The seams, they’re so few and so tight. I don’t think I can even meld into it.’

“I don’t know Bronzie. This has never happened before! I’m scared….” Pinkie hiccuped as she pressed against the inside of the mirror, which reflected everything properly, only it had Pinkie overlaying everything she covered. “I feel trapped, stuck. Is this how Pinkamena felt when I was in control?” Pinkie asked fearfully.

“We’ll have to ask later, but we need to get you two seen to. Girls, round up the others, I’m taking Pinkie to the hospital.” Bronze stated, waiting until they gave affirmatives before he warped away with his ailing friend.

Author's Note

Hullo Guvna~! 'Ave a chapta! :pinkiecrazy:

Rainbows, Shys, Butterflies....

“Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh! Guys! What am I gonna do?! I mean, my mom’s totally cool, she’ll accept it, but my dad’s a stallion’s stallion! He might disown me, or hate me, or think I’m disgusting or-!” Rainbow's panicked tirade was interrupted by a slap from Gilda.

“Mare up! I didn’t throw my feathers in with a wimp!” Gilda yelled at her marefriend with a conflictingly worried expression of her own. “Look, worst thing is they don’t talk to you anymore, big whoop! In griffon society, if my parents decide they don’t like my mate, they could castrate or maim them!” Gilda then noticed Rainbow paling, and facetaloned.

“Not helping!” Twilight interjected as she trotted up to her cyan and prismatic friend, holding her face with her hooves. “Rainbow Dash. Take it from me. When I came out of the closet to my family, they...didn’t take it well.” Twilight admitted, getting Rainbow’s ears to turn back. “I mean, well, Shiny and Dad took it well, both saying at least ‘some stallion’ wasn’t going to make them worry, but mom went ballistic about not having more grandfoals.”

“Oh no! What if mom doesn’t like this because I’m not gonna have foals?!” Rainbow realized, starting to hyperventilate as Gilda yanked Twilight away from her now even worse-off marefriend as Trixie gave a long-suffering sigh at her marefriend’s lack of tact.

“Look, that’s not true okay Dash? I mean, we aren’t going to seriously talk about it for a while, but if you want brats we could go for surrogacy, or something.” Gilda reasoned to try and calm her lover down. “But they’re gonna be your eggs! I’m not having to raise griffons or hippogriffs in Equestria! Unless...I end up the one playing surrogate.”

“Or I could just turn one of you into a male for a night and-.” Trixie slapped a magical muffling muzzle over Twilight’s face, getting her to panic for a moment as the powder blue mare rubbed a temple in annoyance.

“Uh, yeah, that’s not on the table unless you’re the one going stallion. I’m not getting a dick for ya Dash. i love you, but there’s boundaries.” Dash blushed at Gilda’s words, but sighed as she calmed down a little.

“Okay, uh, alright. You’re right. Worst case; my parents never want anything to do with me. Best case...my dad threatens to rip your wings off and force us to get married at spearpoint.” Rainbow dry swallowed hard. “I-I’m ready if you are G.”

“Whoa-whoa! We said marriage wasn’t for a few years!” Gilda blushed nervously, her wings flaring out a bit, betraying how much she liked the idea.

“Well dad might not give us that choice! C’mon!” Rainbow grabbed Gilda’s talon, and used her petite but powerful body to drag the reluctant griffon with her, the large group of friends all silently watching.

“So~....” Bronze awkwardly interjected into the awkward pregnant pause. “...Are we supposed to follow them or...something? I’m not a social pony.”

“Ah think this is something Dash and’ Gilda gotta take care of themselves. Faust knows if ma and pa were still alive, Ah’d face em with ya straight off, even if you were still a minotaur back then.” Applejack sagely stated.

“Wait, you were courting Bronze when he was a 12 foot minotaur?” Rarity asked AJ in surprise as Bronze awkwardly shot his swirled eyes at all his friends now looking at him and AJ.

“To be fair, I too sought him out before his near-death scare.” Zecora admitted with a proud grin. “It was a sad thing his ascension happened before my confession.”

“Oh? He was a big hunky taur before he was a big hunky stallion? Kinda a lateral progression don’t you think?” Shampoo asked as Bronze yelped when one of her hair tendrils whipped his flank.

“Can we not?!” Bronze shouted, getting the attention of absolutely everypony up and down the streets because of his naturally loud voice. “...Can we please get out of here?” Bronze whispered, and Fluttershy proved his savior with her gathering attention with a wave.

“Um...if it’s alright with you...could we go visit my parents? It’s a nice and quiet place on the outskirts.” Fluttershy then eeped when Bronze began ushering her to move towards her parent’s place, wherever it was.

[@]

“Here we are.” Fluttershy softly said with a happy smile and otherwise content expression at the sight of a pleasant cloud home. That was easily twice the size of Rainbow’s micro-mansion home down in Ponyville, and made her humble cottage seem like a lean-to in comparison, especially with the sprawl of a flat cloud that was clearly part of the property. This got everyone but Bronze to gawk at her. “W-what is it? Is my parent’s home odd or…?”

“Fluttershy, your parents are rich?” Spike bluntly asked, getting Rarity to stomp on a claw, making him hiss.

“Not that such a thing would change our views of you dear.” Rarity interjected cheerfully.

“Oh, no. I wouldn’t say they’re rich, just...wisely invested.” Fluttershy humbly responded as she continued to walk up the rather intimidatingly long flatted walkway to the front door, her friends following awkwardly as she rang the bell, getting a beautiful series of chimes to ring out.

“Coming.” Came a quiet and almost unheard voice, and within a minute the door opened to reveal a yellow-orange pegasus mare with heavily curled and bobbed rose mane and tail, with a pearl necklace that nearly blended into her coat on her neck, and aqua green square-framed glasses on her snout, and she softly smiled upon seeing Fluttershy. “Oh, sweetie, it’s good to see you.” She softly spoke in a manner that shocked everyone but Fluttershy that she was even quieter than her daughter as they hugged.

“I’m so happy to see you mom. Is dad home, or is he still helping advise his replacement at the factory?” Fluttershy asked of the older mare, who shook her head.

“No, your father’s home today. His replacement; Mr. Cumulus is picking up on the inner workings of the Cloud Classification Office really quickly. Soon enough, we’ll be ready to both be fully retired. Then we’re thinking of downsizing. This old place is nice, but your father and I don’t need so much with both you and Zephyr Breeze out of the house.” Mrs. Shy said before looking behind her daughter at her impressive entourage. “Oh my. Um, hello. Are you my daughter’s friends?”

“Um, yes Mrs…?” Twilight fished, and the mare obliged.

“Shy. Wavershy. My husband is Rippleshy. So feel free to just call us Mr. and Mrs. Shy.” Mrs. Shy insisted, gesturing the friends inside.

“We only have a bit over an hour before we have to go mom, but I wanted to at least visit and introduce my friends.” Fluttershy informed before trotting into the home, everyone filing in. “Dad. I’m here.” Fluttershy softly called, and soon an older aqua stallion with soft pink for his hair and mane both swirled like soft-serve ice cream entered from another room, and promptly moved to hug his daughter, his pink moustache following his lips in a smile.

“Shy-Shy~. I’ve missed you little girl.” Mr. Shy softly cooed as he nuzzled his daughter’s mane. “Oh, and who are these lovely characters?” Mr. Shy asked curiously as her friends awkwardly moved to get comfortable around the large living space. “Sit, sit. I want to hear all about my little butterfly’s shenanigans.” Despite his words, Mr. Shy was just as quiet as his wife, making everyone sweat-drop from the back of their heads.

[@]

“Well that was a wonderful visit! A shame we couldn’t have met your brother while we were here. If he’s in Mane Therapy college courses, he could have done amazing things to our manes.” Rarity gushed after they’d spent about an hour at the home of the Shy family. “I only hope Rainbow’s visit was anywhere nearly as pleasant.”

“Um...I’m not sure if you would...want to meet Zephyr Breeze….” Fluttershy softly mumbled to herself with a surprising tone of disdain tainting her usually kind demeanor. “But yes, let’s hope Rainbow spoke to her parents before she had to rush to the stadium for sign-up.”

“Oh, yes, I made it.” The group looked up as they’d been trotting along towards the stadium, to see a disgruntled Rainbow Dash hovering in the air with a saddened Gilda following her. “Mom was cool with it, dad flipped, demanded he see a ring out of Gilda before the year was out and booted us out of the house.” Rainbow fumed. “Said he didn’t want me just going around and making kissy faces at anyone, and said if I really did love someone, that I have to commit. Really the old jock is just worried I’ll do something stupid and is insisting we seal the deal.”

“Dash, you know Filly Foolers and Colt Cuddlers have a...reputation.” Gilda, surprisingly gently, reminded her marefriend.

“I’m not going to get under some random mare’s tail just because the mood strikes me! I’m not like that!” Rainbow fumed, blushing hard at remembering what her friends did to her on Hearth’s Warming because of the Fires of Friendship sending them and their Elements all gaga with Harmony or whatever.

“I don’t know...you were really enjoying the attention on Hearth’s Warming.” Pinka commented earnestly as Pinkie loudly slurped teasingly, getting Rainbow to go from cyan to crimson.

“Shut up!” Rainbow indignantly shouted at her pink friends, who both giggled. “Okay, whatever. Today’s been cool except for my dad, so let’s just go to the stadium. I’m going to win that contest, and everypony will know my name! The Wonderbolts will totally see that I’m recruitment material.” Rainbow insisted, getting excited as she practically did a 180 in demeanor and flew fast towards the stadium.

“Well, guess it’s time. Everyone ready to hit the royal box?” Bronze asked, getting his friends to gawk. “Okay, seriously. I may like you forgetting it, but c’mon. Alicorn here. Besides, Aunt Tia’s gonna be attending too. Mom’s done with her world tour, but she’s busy with the night courts and whatnot, so she’s asleep.” Bronze stated, before focusing, and suddenly the group was warped into the royal box seats, and Celestia, already there, jumped in surprise before beaming at the group.

“Nephew, dear friends. It is good to see you here.” Celestia said with her motherly tone, and happily nuzzled Twilight when she giddily rushed up to her. “And how is my faithful student?”

“Happy to be with my friends and pleasantly surprised to see you Princess.” Twilight beamed up at her mentor, who smiled at her student lovingly.

“I am the same.” Celestia then looked back up at her nephew, her beautiful visage being stained with worry at seeing Bronze’s eyes spinning, if slowly. “Nephew, are you well?”

“Hm? I’m fine Auntie, why the look?” Bronze asked, getting Celestia to calm down, and shake her head dismissively with a smile, making him shrug. “Well, the show’s not gonna start for a bit right? Are there any refresh-got em~!” Bronze suddenly interrupted himself, spawning a ton of buckets of popcorn and sodas from the air. “Left the bits in the concession stand. Tofu dog?” Bronze asked Gilda, who blinked and happily accepted the otherworldly food.

While integration of Earth’s plants and other such things were taking a while, the academies and farms took to the soybean family with aplomb, especially since it was originally only local to the regions of Chineigh and Neighpon. Now tofu and other such foods were becoming common rather than a delicacy.

“Fake meat? Don’t mind if I do!” Gilda crowed before squirting ketchup from a ketchup dispenser that was suddenly there, on a table, that was also formerly not there, and she paused. “Where’d this stuff-never mind, don’t wanna know.”

“Preserved and restored Vegas! Thank Rin, she was the one who totally refurbished Vegas without me even asking.” Bronze informed anyway. ‘My powas, dey so OP, plox neva nerf~!’ Bronze mentally cheered as his friends then went about using the table laden with numerous condiments and additives for their various concession foods.

“Nephew, if you can preserve something’s freshness, why not just use preserved food from your realm?” Celestia asked as she dipped a soy corndog in some mustard, and somewhere in canterlot, a white stallion with electric blue hair drooled while uttering the word ‘corndogs….’ to the concern of his significant other.

“Because that’s nasty? I don’t know. Preserved food tastes bland if more than a few ounces of mass per space taken is statically frozen in a state-look I don’t know, for some reason larger quantities of atom-static material always tastes like cardboard or raspberries.” Bronze insisted as he levitated a few dogs plain to his face, and coiled his long tongue around all three before drawing them in and swallowing each of them whole, and he sighed contently before blinking at all the blushing faces. “What?”

“Dude, that was so gay.” Spike stated, getting Rarity to stomp on a claw again.

“Nephew...please do not be so shameless in public.” Celestia softly chastised with her cheeks dusted pink and trying not to look at her nephew at the moment.

[@]

Bronze was bored….

‘I know I’m not one for sports...but I’d literally rather be watching paint dry.’ Bronze mentally growled as his left eye twitched, the spin revving up a bit every twitch. ‘I told her, I absolutely told her, I hate sports. But I came here because I want to be a good friend. I brought our other friends for moral support. I’m a good friend right? If I leave is it still a bad thing?’ Bronze asked himself, already knowing to leave before Rainbow’s turn even came would be a total dick thing to do.

“Bronze, calm down. Yer shakin’ the box with yer hoof tappin’.” Applejack said in irritation, getting Bronze to realize he’d been stomping and dragging a hoof like he wanted to charge from his seated position to anywhere else.

‘HNNG! I can’t take this! I’m so BORED I just wanna warp off somewhere, DO something! Korin’s Tower would be done right now if I went and-stop, STOP! No! Ignore it. Ignore. It.’ Bronze hissed, his eyes glowing as he closed them, managing to avoid anyone noticing since they were watching the participants perform acrobatics that were admittedly impressive. ‘Calm down you dumbass. Do not even consider letting your mind wander. Focus. Do not let idleness inspire wild thoughts. Keep your attention-a butterfly? Up here?’

Bronze’s attempts to focus were destroyed by a single monarch butterfly flitting about until it landed on his nose, his spinning blue eyes transfixed on the impossibility. ‘How? Here? High? Too high. Not right. Why?’

‘Why not?’

‘No sense.’

‘Nonsense!’

Bronze grinned, for some reason, the little impossibility inspired him. ‘I wonder what a pony with butterfly wings would look like….’ Bronze mused, considering it, looking over at Rarity leaning into her big, strong dragon coltfriend, dragonfriend? Imagining her with beautiful butterfly wings was the easiest, and his smile became dangerous. ‘Rarifly, Butterity? If I fused enough butterflies into her, what would she turn into-?’ The roars of the crowd snapped Bronze from his dangerous thoughts, and he blinked to see what they were cheering at. ‘When did Rainbow start?’

“Go Dashie, go!” Pinkie cheered from her mirror as the cyan pegasus performed incredible feats of speed and control, getting the whole stadium riled up unlike all the performers before her.

“Woo, go Rainbow, way to go~.” Fluttershy horribly failed in cheering making Bronze snicker at his adorable friend’s gentle...now wouldn’t she make a better butterfly-pony than Rarity? Hm, maybe if he-

“Whoa down there! Calm! You’re destabilizing the-!” Suddenly, a whole section of the lower part of the stadium burst into vapor from numerous pegasi and griffons striking the cloudwork too hard, and several of them screamed as they flailed and somehow failed to take flight, several bystanders quickly grabbed a couple, but four were still falling. “What’s going on?! Somepony catch them!”

“They’re some of the Earth Immigrants!” One of the ponies who caught a mare screamed up into the crowd, and the Wonderbolts and Rainbow instantly dove after the falling and non-flying ponies and griffon.

“Bronze! What’re ya doin’?! Warp em up here!” Applejack demanded of her stunned and confused coltfriend, before gasping at his rapidly spinning eyes. “Oh no. Uh, Bronze...stay calm.”

“What’s wrong apple dumpling?” Bronze asked far too cheerfully. “Is somepony in danger?” Bronze asked seriously. “Don’t care~ Butterflies~!” Bronze shouted as he summoned a whole Kaleidoscope of butterflies of varied colors. “Time for some literally FLUTTERSHY~!” Bronze dementedly yelled as the bugs all unwillingly flew at Fluttershy, who screamed in shock before a golden light warped her away, and Bronze tilted his head. “Oh boo~ she can warp too~! Time for tag~!”

“Nephew, it hasn’t even been a week! What is the meaning of this?!” Celestia demanded in fear as she levitated the group away from the manic stallion. “Twilight, go wake my sister!” Celestia ordered of her student, who promptly teleported herself away.

“Nothing Auntie Dearest~! Just thought of how beautiful a butterfly pony could be, and then, I thought, Fluttershy is already so gentle, and pretty. Why not make her even more relevant to her name?” Bronze asked as the butterflies all morbidly melted into a ball that then formed into an insect pony with butterfly wings, it’s compound eyes having a strange glow in a single spot as the almost pony-like bug then blinked as it formed eyelids and it’s eyes smoothed over. “Isn’t it beautiful?!”

Everyone looked about to vomit, and gazed at the disgustingly beautiful pony taking shape as it suddenly started taking rapid and scared breaths. “Nephew...please...stop tormenting the poor creature, and calm down.” Celestia was sweating. Her nephew, potentially the most dangerous pony on Equus, was having a psychotic break. And there might be literally nothing she could do if he got even more out of hoof.

Then there was the boom.

It shook the very air, it rattled their bones, and the sheer amount of magical energy washed over them like an invigorating shower. The resounding gasp and roar of cheers brought their attention to the stadium, and looked down to see a great rainbow rise from the rippling explosion of rainbow light below, and arc over the stadium, before the Wonderbolts flew up with their individual rescued formerly-human ponies who were practically crying in relief, and then the rainbow doubled back, and stopped to reveal the cause as Rainbow Dash holding a griffon cub who looked at her savior with glimmers in her eyes.

“Sonic. Rainboom.” Rainbow tiredly stated to the gobsmacked Wonderbolts who helped her hover to stable cloud, and then everyone remembered what was going on, and snapped to where Bronze was.

Note; Was.

[@]

Fluttershy ran, she ran so hard her hooves hurt, her lungs hurt, her heart beat in her ears as she screamed from evading another butterfly that almost hit her as she rounded another hall in Castle Canterlot, where she had suddenly found herself in a flash of golden light not several moments ago. “Oh Flutters~! I just want your name to fit you better~!”

Tears streamed from her eyes in sadness. Fluttershy knew this wasn’t her friend, it wasn’t her gentle and kind friend saying these things, trying to turn her into a bug-pony. It was a monster in his head, a monster twisting his thoughts and doing this. She whimpered as she felt another poor butterfly ram into her back, and ignored the sensation of chitin fusing into her flesh as her feathers nearest began to turn more uniform, change from the complex integumentary structure of her natural wings into the membranes and veins of an insect.

“C’mon~ You’ll be even more beautiful~!” Fluttershy screamed at Bronze suddenly being in front of her. For the past couple minutes of the chase, he’d been ‘sporting’ and letting her run, but it seemed his madness had gotten bored with her. “Aw, look at your future face~! It’s so perfect!” Bronze gushed over the scared butterfly pony Bronze had crafted, her heart went out to the creature that had the minds of thousands of poor butterflies fused solidly into a more complex brain, able to comprehend what was happening.

“Please...no….” Fluttershy weakly sobbed as the scared pony neared her, it equally afraid if it’s expression said anything.

“GAH~!” Bronze suddenly shrieked in pain and primal fury, the invisible force pushing the two ponies closer ceased and they both looked at their tormentor to see a huge syringe sticking out of the left side of the stallion’s neck, practically forcing a serum into his veins as he fought with the blue aura practically stabbing it into his neck, ripping his skin and bleeding even as his flesh knitted closed over the wound as Princess Luna angrily and desperately fought to keep the needle in as the plunger injected.

“Son! Thou hast done QUITE enough!” Luna murderously declared as the syringe got about half of it’s content into the thrashing stallion who was being held in place, his powers nerfed by a non-physical force of lavender magic keeping him still, Twilight panting as she came into view from down the hall, sweat dumping down her face as she strained with mana exhaustion.

“He is mine! MINE you foal!” Not-Bronze screamed furiously before the syringe finished, and Luna cast Liquid Pain on him and a few large jugs she summoned. “Not again...not ag….” The stallion stilled, his eyes slowing down and stopping before they fluttered closed as the jugs practically flooded with his agony in the form of the red liquid.

“Thou shalt never have our son, monster.” Luna growled before Bronze slumped bonelessly to the floor, and she pulled the needle from his neck as she let his pain run it’s course, before banishing both the jugs of pure power, and her son to the Shadow Realm for safety. “Fair Fluttershy, art thou alright?!” Luna frantically asked as she trotted to the mutated mare. Numerous spots had yellow chitin replacing fur, and the base of her wings had become bug-like.

“Y-yes. I-I-I’m fine….” Fluttershy choked on a sob as she looked to the black and brown bug pony with utterly beautiful multicolored butterfly wings that looked completely lost. “A-are...are you okay?’ Fluttershy asked it, and it looked at her curiously. “Oh...you poor thing. It’s fine now.” Fluttershy cooed as she pulled the larger pony into a hug, it confusedly draped a foreleg over her back, and nuzzled her back equally lost at the motion, but welcomed it.

Author's Note

Well...that happened. :applejackconfused:

Next Chronological Chapter!

Flutter Mutters n' Brutters

“Yes, yes that’s it. You’re doing good.” Fluttershy encouraged her new housemate; Butters. She named him, the butterfly stallion that Bronze made in his fit of insanity. He looked just like Bronze aside from being covered with chitin instead of fur and the beautiful butterfly wings, he even started showing signs of growing a mane and tail as silvery fuzz had sprouted up from his chitinous head, neck, and dock.

Butters was a very intelligent, if simple pony thus far, he was as curious and aware as a foal, but he rapidly picked up on things and was able to understand well enough if she used her experience with animals to teach and explain things to him. She could hardly believe it’d only been two days since Bronze unintentionally created this buggy downsized clone of himself and left her slightly mutated.

Speaking of the Mad Prince as he was being called by the public from witnesses of his actions at the stadium, he’d been so distraught that he’d banished himself to the Shadow Realm by refusing to leave for the time being. Fluttershy didn’t blame him for anything though, not even his self-imposed exile. If she had such a monstrous thing inside of her...she’d lock herself away to protect others too.

“Thank you for being so helpful Butters, and you too Opal for being so patient with us.” Fluttershy cooed to Opalescence, Rarity’s pet cat, who simply puffed out her chest while riding atop Butters’ head, the stallion having little issue with balancing and carrying the animal on his head since she comfortably lounged on him, a paw wrapped around his long, smooth spike of a horn for stability.

Butters however, blinked and mouthed something. “Oh I know Butters, just be patient.” Fluttershy implored of the unique stallion as they neared Carousel Boutique and she knocked on the back door. “Hello, Rarity?” Fluttershy softly called, and Rarity, looking a little harried, opened the door.

“Oh, Fluttershy, and...um, Butters?” Rarity asked the stallion, getting a wordless smile from him and a flick of his majestic and vivid wings at recognizing his name. “You’ve finished Opal’s grooming already?” Rarity asked in surprise at noticing the usually better-than-thou cat calmly lazing on Butters’ head, instead of trying to tear off his face, as futile as such an action might’ve been.

“Oh yes, Opalescence was just a delight.” Fluttershy said as she gestured for Butters to lower his head, and he did, Opal gladly jumping to the clean floor of Rarity’s home and poshly strolling in. “She even enjoyed playing with Klingon while her bath was being drawn.”

“Well, I thank you dears. Would you like to come in? I’m afraid I can’t play host at the moment, but I don’t want to just have you walk back home without resting your hooves a bit first.” Rarity offered as she gestured them to come in, and she couldn’t help a shiver at Butters when he passed her. “Sorry darling, still getting used to you.” Rarity apologized when Butters looked at her when she shivered.

“Oh he understands, don’t you Butters?” Fluttershy asked as she sat down, Butters nodding cheerfully as he looked around, examining everything with sniffing and occasionally trying to lick things but always being stopped by Fluttershy Staring at him, even if his head was turned.

“Oh my, I haven’t seen you using the Stare so much Fluttershy, has Butters been that difficult?” Rarity asked in concern as the foal-like stallion sniffed and sampled some flowers Rarity had in a table vase, but she didn’t mind, that’s what they were there for.

“Oh no, I’ve just learned it’s easier to help him learn by enforcing what is and is not okay to do. And he isn’t really scared of my Stare.” Fluttershy replied with a soft smile, before Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Vivian all burst into the home from the back door, Button Mash and Rumble more sedately following.

“List!” Vivian declared, pulling a scroll from her backpack as Rarity’s eyes widened in horror. “Sleeping bags!”

“Check!” Apple Bloom shouted as she pulled out her own bag as the others all presented theirs.

“Marshmallows!” Vivian stated.

“Check, Check!” Scootaloo confirmed as she took a huge bag of large marshmallows out of her saddlebags.

“Graham crackers!” Vivian excitedly continued.

“Got ‘em.” Rumble stated as he produced the boxes, edging away from a curious Butters as he sniffed around him and the box of crumbly goodness.

“Entertainment?” Vivian asked more quietly of Button Mash, who hopped in place before spilling his overstuffed game collection for Joyboys onto the floor.

“Every single game!” Button Mash proudly declared, and then they all took a deep breath as Rarity covered her ears.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SLEEPOVER YAY~!”

“NO~! No Sleepover!” Rarity interrupted after their cheer was over. “I have too many orders to fill! I cannot keep an eye on you all tonight after all.” Rarity apologized, the children all wilting in sadness, not noticing Butters trying to eat the bag of marshmallows, and succeeded thanks to his sharp teeth.

“Butters! No!” Fluttershy scolded, getting the stallion to stop and spit out the chewed plastic bag forlornly. “Wait...Rarity, maybe the Crusaders don’t have to cancel their sleepover.” Fluttershy considered as she looked at Butters, who looked back in confusion.

“Well unless somepony is going to take them off my hooves right this minute….” Rarity then blinked at realizing what Fluttershy meant. “You...you’re saying you want to foalsit my sister and her hyperactive friends?” Rarity asked in amazement.

“Oh yes. Thanks to Butters, I think I’ll be able to handle a few children.” Fluttershy informed, getting the Crusaders present to all gasp in joy, Vivian especially since ever since Bronze had started being isolated, Shampoo was essentially her current guardian, and while Shampoo was cool, she was very irritating at times with her rather vain nature at least concerning her hair.

“Oh yes, he’ll certainly be able to help you. A big strong stallion to help entertain and contain their destructive natures.” Rarity mused, knowing that Butters was much stronger than his size implied since he often accidentally did incredible feats of strength even earth ponies would have trouble with.

“Destructive?” Fluttershy asked in concern, only to suddenly find herself, Butters, all of the Crusaders, including a confused Sweetie Belle, being levitated outside.

“Oh~ Nothing to be concerned about dear, just me being dramatic, have a good night, goodbye~.” Rarity hurriedly said before closing the door a bit too quickly, and the six children looked up at their sudden foalsitter and her odd buggy companion with beaming smiles, making Fluttershy consider if she’d just gotten in over her head.

[@]

“Okay, we’re about there now, my cottage is just around the bend.” Fluttershy assured the large group of six excited children who were all running around her and Butters’ calm walk and chatting about what they might do for the sleepover. Fluttershy hoped that she was really prepared for this and that Butters hadn’t unintentionally given her unfounded confidence.

“Um, Miss Fluttershy? Are animals usually swarming over your house?” Vivian asked in concern, and Fluttershy was about to answer in the affirmative, before she gasped quietly at seeing all of her animal friends, including Harry the Bear, trying to get into her front door in a ruckus.

“Oh, dear, oh no.” Fluttershy fretted as she fluttered through the air to reach the commotion faster. “What’s going on? Did I forget any of your meals? Is someone sick, and I wasn’t here to-?” Fluttershy was interrupted by Harry growling and huffing at her. “*cute gasp* An intruder? Oh no. This is-.”

“Flutter Butter is that you?! It’s me, your favorite brother!” Came a rather annoying voice from the door, and Fluttershy instantly went from worried, to frustrated.

“...Very bad….” Fluttershy suddenly muttered in true irritation and a level of disdain. “Everyone leave him alone, he’s my little brother.” Fluttershy begrudgingly implored to her animal friends. “Zephyr why are you-?” Fluttershy was promptly interrupted by the door bursting open and being enveloped in a hug.

“Oh~ Flutter Butter! Are you alright?! The Mad Prince didn’t scar your pretty coat did he?” Melodramatically cried out a lanky stallion with aquamarine fur, and a horrible ‘man bun’ mane-do for his brown hair, and his unkempt five-o'clock shadow gave him a beatnik look overall.

“Do not call him that. And no. I might be a little hard in some places, and my feathers a little more uniform, but I am just fine.” Fluttershy asserted with a glare at her obnoxious brat of a little brother, the small patches of yellow chitin shining in the dying lights of the day as she leered at what her sibling called one of her best friends.

“How is he your brother? He looks nothing like you.” Scootaloo demanded as the children and Butters approached, the buggy stallion tilting his head in curiosity as the aqua stallion released his elder sibling from the hug he still had her in.

“I took strongly after the recessive genes of the family.” Zephyr proudly boasted as he played with his annoyed sister’s mane with his hooves, casually restyling it in various ways both ridiculous, or impressive.

“It would explain why he’s gangly and loud while Miss Fluttershy is normal and quiet.” Sweetie whispered to the others who nodded quietly in agreement.

“Zephyr, while it’s nice to see you.” Fluttershy practically flinched when she said the word ‘nice’. “Why are you here, in my house. Instead of at the college dorms?”

` “Oh as if I could sleep, hearing my precious big sis got assaulted by royalty. When mom and dad told me, I just couldn’t relax and had to come see you. This place you got here was a little hard to find. Why didn’t ya invite me over sometime for the past few years anyway?” Zephyr asked curiously, getting Fluttershy to barely do more than leer hatefully at her sibling, who completely missed her intention.

“Ah can feel the sibling hate.” Apple Bloom whispered, the Crusaders content to watch the family drama unfold as Butters continued to look on without comprehension.

“Well I’m glad to know you’re okay big sis, but just to help put me at ease, mind snuggling together like when we were little?” Zephyr asked with big watery eyes and a quivering lower lip.

“Um...Zephyr...we’re not foals anymore. And besides that….” Fluttershy looked back at the enraptured Crusaders and Butters who had taken to nipping at Rumble’s wings since the colt was teasing the simple stallion with his wings moving around. “We’re having a sleepover and-.”

“Oh that sounds fun! I could do all your manes and tails, telling you all stories about me and my sister’s misadventures! Come inside!” Zephyr urged as he waltzed right back into Fluttershy’s house like he owned the place, and Fluttershy gawked helplessly as the Crusaders cheered and rushed in after the obnoxious stallion, and she facehoofed as Butters curiously moved next to her.

“Butters. From now on, remind me to keep quiet.” Fluttershy pleaded to the buggy stallion, who quirked his head in confusion.

[@]

Fluttershy was not having a good night. Sure, her brother actually kept the Crusaders occupied with styling all their hair and telling them stories...embarrassing stories, but at least this caused the mixed blessing of Fluttershy actually having a way to distance herself from her sibling and see about tending to her animals outside.

It wasn’t like she didn’t love her little brother, he just got on her nerves.

“Good night Harry.” Fluttershy bid her bear friend farewell with a hug, getting an enveloping hug back as he licked her face, getting her to giggle before the big lug let her go and lumbered in the direction of his cave.

Fluttershy silently basked in the feeling of a fulfilling day...despite unpleasant surprises, before she jolted at hearing a few distressed squawks coming from her chicken coop. “Oh dear, what are they worried about?” Fluttershy asked herself as she fluttered over to the coop, finding Butters poking his head into the little hut. “No. Butters, I told you that the chickens are friends, not food.”

Butters moved his head out, and the chickens all bolted out of the now open door and were clucking at Fluttershy frantically. She immediately assumed they were complaining about Butters, but their words made her gasp. “What? Elizabeak went and…?!” Fluttershy then noticed the small gap in the little fence around the coop, and the chicken scratchings of talons leading into the Everfree Forest. “Oh no! Elizabeak!” Fluttershy dashed towards the forest, and yelped cutely when she was stopped dead by a yank on her tail, and she turned to see Butters looking scared at her as he’d stopped her from running into a place even he knew was dangerous.

“Butters, let go. I have to go find Elizabeak before something terrible happens to her.” Fluttershy softly insisted, but in response, Butters clenched his jaw onto the hair of her tail even tighter, and then, she Stared at him, and he flinched before letting go. “I’m sorry. But I can’t let a friend get hurt when I could’ve helped them. Stay here Butters. I’ll be fine.”

Fluttershy then looked at the tracks, and rushed into the forest.

Butters, meanwhile, began nervously prancing in place, looking after the place his mother-figure had run off to, and the house having others clearly smarter than he inside. After a moment of frantic deliberation, the foal-like stallion instinctively decided that getting older ponies to go after his mom was the right thing to do.

[@]

“...-and so that’s how square clouds ended up not being all that great.” Zephyr finished his latest story with a self-deprecating chuckle. “I mean, who knew that trying to force clouds into hard angles made them so fragile?” Zephyr asked sheepishly, getting Rumble and Scootaloo to raise their hooves, making the stallion sulk.

And it was all ruined when Butters literally smashed through the front door like it was tissue paper, whinnying in panic and trying to convey something he could not verbalize, scaring the children but Zephyr gasped.

“Flutter Butter fell down a well?!” Zephyr incorrectly translated, getting a neigh and a shake of the head from Butters. “She was foalnapped?!!” Zephyr began hyperventilating before Butters nickered and stomped something out. “She ran into the forest all on her own?! We’ve gotta go get her!” Zephyr insisted in a rush, flying out the ruined door with Butters running after him.

The Crusaders all simply blinked, before smiling broadly at each other, and taking a deep breath….

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PONY FINDERS YAY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

[@]

Fluttershy was incredibly worried, she hadn’t found her little chicken hen yet and the Everfree was getting darker, especially as she delved deeper after the tracks of her feathered friend. “Oh Elizabeak...please come out. It’s dark, and dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt-AH~!” Fluttershy screamed upon finding a statue of one of her friends in a clearing she’d followed the trail to. “Trixie?! Oh no, you’ve been stoned by a Cockatrice!” Fluttershy nervously aimed her eyes downward.

“It’s okay Fluttershy...she’ll be fine. Get to town, tell Ponyville General somepony’s been stoned, and they’ll send out an EMT with a vial of Cockatrice blood to save her. Yes. Just, turn around and-.” Fluttershy’s scared and worried rambling was interrupted by the clucking of a certain chicken, and Fluttershy looked up to see the hen she’d followed into this deadly place poking her head out of a bush. “Oh, Elizabeak, it’s so good to see-*gasp*!”

Fluttershy snapped her eyes shut, and whimpered at hearing the panicked final clucks of her friend, before hearing stone hit the ground. This was followed by the sound of several small children running through the flora and rustling the leaves, coming closer to the dangerous Cockatrice. “Oh no. Stop! Don’t come any closer!” Fluttershy yelled frantically, hearing the hiss of the monster that had stoned her friends, eager to suck out the life-force of more victims.

“We found Fluttershy! Yay!” Fluttershy heard the six younglings cheer, followed shortly by resounding sighs of disappointment. But that didn’t matter, she heard the monster hiss in excitement and move towards the children, and she knew what she had to do.

“Stop!” Fluttershy demanded, snapping open her eyes and quickly moving in front of the horrific chicken/reptile hybrid, Staring it in the eyes as it stared at her. “You will not be stoning anypony else! And you will TURN THEM BACK!” Fluttershy demanded, ignoring the creeping cold and numb sensation of her body turning to stone from her hind hooves and traveling up.

Her Stare held tight on the Cockatrice. Slowly the creature started to wither under the Stare, began backing down and sweating, up until there was another rustle in the bushes. The familiar and unwelcome voice of Zephyr came crashing over Fluttershy causing her to lose her focus. “Flutter Butter?! Where are you?! Little brother is here to help!”

The momentary loss of focus was all it took for the Cocktrice to turn the tables, it reared up and finished turning Fluttershy to stone, just as Zephyr entered the clearing and screamed in horror of seeing his big sister was now a statue. Turning on it’s third pony of the day, it turned him to stone in an instant. The children screamed and the beast was about to claim them as well, when it felt pain and knew no more.

[(X)]

Fluttershy gasped at suddenly waking up, feeling numb, cold, like she’d been encased in stone, which was really quite close to what had just happened to her. She fell to her plot and panted at realizing she was alive. And covered in blood…. “Th-this is more than just a vial….” Fluttershy realized and turned to see Butters splashed in blood as well, the petrifying monster dead and in pieces at his hooves. “Oh my goodness! Butters, are you alright?”

Fluttershy was quickly grabbed in a crushing hug by the foal-like stallion, he neighed and nickered in relief as he nuzzled her all over, and Fluttershy quietly weathered the affection, having been ponyhandled by large affectionate predators before, and then kissed his cheek when he calmed down a little. “Thank you for saving me Butters.” She soothed as she hugged him back, and they remained in a snuggle before Vivian came over from the assembled and possibly traumatized children.

“Um, miss Fluttershy?” Vivian asked worriedly, and the buttery pegasus looked to the young hen curiously. “Why isn’t your brother back to normal?” Vivian asked as she pointed to the still stoned Zephyr Breeze, and the slightly blood-spattered Elizabeak clucked in joy at being alive as she inspected the stallion statue.

“Um...don’t you prefer him this way?” Fluttershy asked impishly, getting glares from the morally upstanding children. “Oh...I guess...we’ll just...turn him back.” Fluttershy grumbled softly, picking up the dead cockatrice with her wing and hatefully tossing it at Zephyr Breeze, who gasped when the blood instantly freed him from his entombment.

“Oh gosh! Flutter Butter! When I saw you get stoned I was so scared!” Zephyr practically wailed as he rushed to his older sister and hugged her protectively, getting Fluttershy to blink as her little brother started crying into her coat. “I thought I’d lost you sis!” He began sobbing and nuzzling her despite all the blood, and the buttery mare smiled softly as she gently hugged him back. Letting her little brother know that she was still here...and secretly, sorry for even considering leaving him in stone.

[@]

“Now Flutters, are you sure you’ll be fine?” Zephyr Breeze asked of his older sister in concern as she, Butters, and a freed Trixie who had a headache from being stoned for longer and had a cold compress tied to her horn right now, were on Fluttershy’s front porch the next morning as the CMC were off playing with her animal friends. Fluttershy was trying to convince her little brother he didn’t need to-*shudder*-move in with her.

“I’ll be just fine Zephyr. I have Butters to protect me, and my friends to support me.” Fluttershy tried to assure as Butter’s ears perked up, and he curiously trotted around the side of the cottage.

“Well...if you’re sure Flutter Butter.” Zephyr moved up to her and kissed her brow, nuzzling her lovingly which she happily accepted. “I’ll miss ya sis. Be safe okay? I don’t wanna hear something else awful happened to ya.”

“Don’t worry Zephyr, I’ll try my hardest to keep safe. Usually, it’s what I’m best at.” Fluttershy giggled, and her brother nodded before he turned and flew up into the sky in the direction of Cloudsdale.

“Ugh, he was just infuriatingly annoying. Trixie’s headache was getting worse just hearing his voice.” Trixie complained as she rubbed her eyes.

“Take last night as a lesson Trixie. Don’t go into the Everfree even if it’s to visit Zecora for some tea.” Fluttershy chastised her friend, who looked suitably sad at having had to face the consequences of last night so harshly. “Didn’t Twilight tell you to never go into the forest?”

“Of course Trixie’s beloved told her not to go. But she also assured Trixie would be fine if she stayed on the paths. But Trixie lost the path, and...the eyes….” Trixie shuddered out a breath. “Trixie just wanted some Zebrican Red Tea leaves so she could brew her lover’s favorite tea in the morning. Now she will have awoken to an empty bed and so much worry. Trixie is a terrible lover….” The mare put herself down, and Fluttershy was about to chastise this self-destructive behavior, when she heard an adorable squeak of a pet toy, and turned to see Butters return but...different.

“Butters?” Fluttershy asked worriedly of the changed bug pony. His butterfly wings were gone, instead he had prismatic feathers of pegasus wings, and when he looked at her, instead of the eyes of a simple animal, she saw the gleaming eyes of a foal filled with childish wonder, and in his mouth was a plush animal designed like wolf, which squeaked when he bit harder on it, but his sharp teeth didn’t tear it, and it was panting, and wagging it’s tail.

“...Trixie is out. She hurts too much for these shenanigans right now….” Trixie GTFOd out of there with a tired strut, and Fluttershy sighed at realizing her adopted son was now going to be perhaps even harder to manage in some way.

Author's Note

Blame life, blame it so hard it gets Regretti Spaghetti up the arse. :ajsleepy:

I seriously need to get back to writing my OWN stuff, instead of just helping out others and doing rampant crossovers ahead of my own stories :ajbemused:

As for an explanation for Butters' changes, reference The Worlds Most Horrifying Game of Golf

The Ballad of Batcolt!

Vivian was not a happy cub.

Her dad went loopy because of some bad guy with a lot of power or something the grown-ups didn’t feel comfortable telling her about, despite her background, so for the past week he’d been gone entirely when before he was just largely absent due to him secluding himself with whatever he was up to and the two-month quarantine before that.

That left her with Shampoo, who, while an okay mare she guessed, Vivian didn’t care for how vain the huge mare was about hair and talking about opening her own beauty salon in town. She was happy for the former villainess, but didn’t care about all the frou-frou stuff.

Then there was that insufferably adorkable Button Mash who just, would, not, NOTICE her! She even fluffed up her feathers, preened and pressed her wings, styled her plumage like one of his favorite videogame characters, nothing seemed to work! Not even casual skinship which set her heart pounding by leaning on him as they played Joyboys together got little more than an acknowledging hum out of him!

It was enough to send a prepubescent hen into a rage!

In private.

Right now, she was with her friends, which meant the object of her affections and her still-immature ‘colts are gross’ friends would be privy to her feelings if she flew into a squawking mad rant. Especially in the confines of their new official club house.

Applejack had been totally cool, and gave the CMC her old clubhouse, which while initially a pile of scrap wood after years of neglect, Applebloom had single-hoofedly restored it in a single afternoon all on her own. They were all completely baffled that such a feat had not earned Applebloom a carpentry cutie mark, which confused AB when it was brought up, asking why she would have carpentry as her talent when every Apple was good at it.

This then made the children consider something; they each were already good at something, but why wasn’t it their talent?

Bloom asked her family, and they said there wasn’t a reason she couldn’t get a carpentry cutie mark. Scootaloo pondered how she didn’t have some sort of sporty mark already from how awesome she was with her scooter. Sweetie Belle realized she truly had an amazing singing voice, but didn’t know why she didn’t have a musical cutie mark. Button for gaming. And Rumble for, oddly, cloud shaping.

“So does anypony have any idea, why any of you don’t have these marks?” Vivian asked from up on the podium they used to direct meetings, it even had an actual gavel Mayor Mare parted with since it was worn and about to snap at the handle, which Applebloom remedied with tree resin and sawdust, which made a really good wood epoxy.

“Look, Viv, I don’t get why you’re making such a huge deal about this. They’re just hobbies, not something we wanna do for a job.” Scootaloo excused, getting the fierce little hen to leer at her with her sharp, vibrant red eyes.

“It is a big deal! You all have amazing talents already! What is with pony marks and being so fickle?” Vivian pleaded to nopony in particular. “I mean, we’ve done almost everything that can be done in Ponyville. Hay, we even found out there was a dangerous giant squid in Saddle Lake. We were awarded for that discovery even.”

“Well what about yer Sight? You were Robin the Hen Wonder! Why aren’t yer eyes the right color?” Applebloom asked, everypony nodding with her since Button and Rumble were informed of her past at about the same time as the fillies were.

“I told you already. I was born with red eyes. The only way I can tell if these are my Sight eyes is if I asked a griffon Seer, and I’m not about to travel all the way to Griffonstone on my own. Besides...if it turns out I already have my Sight, I can’t go crusading with you….” Vivian admitted sadly, and Button Mash was surprisingly the one to pound his hoof like a gavel on his spot.

“What sort of backward nonsense is that! That’s like saying Paladin Pony isn’t a hero because he’s no longer a member of the Templar Order! You can still help us even if you already got your Sight.” Button defended, and everypony agreed with him while Vivian’s white feathered cheeks flushed so red she felt like her feathers would burn.

*knock, knock, knock* “Hello? Crusaders? Is this your clubhouse?” Hearing the voice of their teacher, Miss Cheerilee, Sweetie Belle rushed to the door and opened it up to see the smiling face of their beloved school teacher. “My, what a wonderful place. It’s almost as comfortable as a home. May I come in?”

“Uh…?” Sweetie droned as she looked to her friends, who all shrugged and gestured for her to come in. “Yes.”

“Pardon the intrusion My Little Ponies, but Miss Sparkle has told me that you six have all been running around and doing dangerous things for quite a while now, trying to discover your talents.” Cheerilee cheerfully said as she entered, but with a worried expression on her face. “I wish I had known sooner, there are ways ponies, and I suppose, griffons, are supposed to go about these things without endangering themselves.”

“Don’t worry, we can handle anything!” Rumble assured their teacher with a flex of his admittedly strong wings, for his age anyhow.

“Yeah! We fought that giant squid! And that manticore! Oh! And remember the time we got that hydra to knot it’s necks together-mmph?!” Button gushed about their far, far more dangerous excursions which Vivian led them on in secret. Said hen was desperately holding her love-interest’s muzzle shut with a talon as she beamed innocently at her horrified teacher, her friends all trying to blast her with puppy-dog pouts, but to no avail. Cheerilee frowned. And they flinched as if struck.

Cheerilee never frowns….

“I was afraid of this. I had hoped that the reformation of the Cutie Mark Crusaders wouldn’t be as dangerous as it was back in my youth. I should’ve intervened sooner.” Cheerilee sighed sadly. “Girls, boys. I’m sure somepony told you about the original Crusaders, correct?”

“There were Crusaders before us?” Scootaloo asked in surprise, her friends all sharing her shock as Cheerilee nodded solemnly.

“Indeed. I was a member of the group myself. I, and five of my friends who all did not get our marks while all our peers got theirs, banded together to seek our marks. We sought out any challenge, any potential we had for our talents. Just like you six have now been doing.” Cheerilee said fondly, until her happy nostalgia rapidly plummeted into despair. “But then...one day...the worst came to be….”

“W-what happened?” Applebloom asked worriedly, and Vivian gulped as she let go of Button’s muzzle, hugging him in growing apprehension for what she thought her teacher was going to say, the colt, without her noticing, began to blush as the hen squeezed him to her.

“We each found our marks, of course. But...after we all had our marks, we...drifted apart.” Cheerilee finished with a sad undertone, getting everypony present to wilt and look at each other worriedly, while Vivian sighed out in relief as she let go of Button.

“Whew, I thought you were going to say one of you died.” Vivian said, getting everypony to gasp at her. “What? I couldn’t have been the only one thinking of it.”

“Well, while we did come quite close to biting the dust more than once, we were smart enough to learn from our mistakes. While I highly frown upon you all taking such risks, what is life but an adventure? Just don’t go actively seeking danger My Little Ponies, and griffon.” Cheerilee advised, before smiling again. “But, regardless. I have something that might help you on your journeys of self-discovery.” Cheerilee turned her head around and reached into her saddlebags, taking out a flyer and laying it on the floor.

“A Talent Contest!” Applebloom cheered upon seeing it, everyone crowding to read the details.

“Yes indeed! If you six band together to create a show, I’m more than certain that, even if you don’t find your marks, or your Sight, that you will have fun, and be all the wiser for it.” Cheerilee encouraged, and the children all beamed at each other.

[@]

“Excuse me, pardon, sorry.” Spike apologized for the umpteenth time to somepony he nudged past with his huge frame, Rarity casually reclining on a fainting couch balanced on his back by his wings.

“I thank you so much darling~. You pamper me so much. I didn’t even ask you to do this.” Rarity beamed down at her beau with great appreciation.

“It’s nothing milady. Here we are.” Spike cheesed with gentledrakely charm, getting Rarity to titter at her dragon’s endearingly sweet behavior as he found the spot near their friends and he laid down, still supporting her and her couch at the back of the crowd they had to cut through to reach their friends.

“Spike, I thought I told you to stop spoiling her. It’ll only make her more difficult.” Twilight teased from her seat next to Trixie, who snorted in amusement while the others, from Rainbow Dash to Fluttershy were all smiling in anticipation.

“So has anyone heard what the Crusaders are doing?” Rainbow asked everyone, who all shrugged or shook their heads.

“All I know is Vivian was very excited about it, but she was rather tight-beaked about it.” Shampoo said from her self-made hair hammock.

“Sweetie was as much silent on their plans.” Rarity included as she jumped down and levitated her couch to the ground. “As lovely as being on your back is dear, I’d rather not trouble you with it for the show.” Rarity said to Spike before she stood on her hind legs to peck him on the snout, getting him to blush and grin.

“Ah’m afraid Applebloom’s been just as secretive. She didn’t lie or nothin’ just didn’t mention more than they was doin’ a show.” Applejack mentioned as she and Zecora leaned into each other, the Twins Pink doing the same next to them, Pinkie bouncing a little while Pinka was stone still and resting her eyes.

“Oh my. I hope it isn’t something overboard.” Fluttershy stated softly as Butters gnawed on his seemingly invincible wolf plushie.

“Relax, if something goes wrong, there’s more than enough of us who can stop anyone getting hurt.” Gilda placated to Fluttershy gently, the griffon had been getting much more in touch with her gentleness with her regular anger management sessions with Fluttershy really being a huge help, and Trixie even forgave her for the maiming when they first met, citing it was why she ended up meeting Twilight and let it go.

“Shush, the show is starting!” Pinkie gushed as Cheerilee approached the mic on the stage that had been set up outside Ponyville Elementary for the show.

[@]

“Is the cowl on straight? Is the black dye shiny enough? Is the mask convincing?!” Vivian fretted to her friends backstage, her talons nervously tending to the unique shape her feathers had been starched into.

“For the last time, YES!” All of her friends shouted at the same time, save Button who was nervously tweaking an acoustic guitar and checking the fit of his cowpony hat and his bandanna mask.

“I’m sorry! It’s just, I’m not too sure how accurate the costume is anyway! Batcolt ditched the blue before he adopted me, so I was never familiar with it over his gray and black which helped him blend into the night better.” Vivian bemoaned, only for Scootaloo to back-hoof her, which was far less painful than a normal hoof to the face.

“Keep it together hen! We’re the one’s you’re gonna be beating up, so if anypony should be worried, it’s us!” Scootaloo reminded as she tugged on the tie of her fake tuxedo.

“I-I don’t know about me being the musician guys! I’ve only ever played the ukulele!” Button fretted himself only for Rumble to make him look him in the eyes.

“Go forth. And bring them music.” Rumble intoned with complete confidence and faith, and Button’s eyes dilated a bit, before he nodded, and Rumble nodded back in affirmation.

“And that was Snips and Snails and their...wonderful magic act!” Cheerilee announced, getting the Crusaders to quickly scramble to their positions backstage, while Button took calming breaths as he approached the curtains.

“You can do this Button. You can do this...they’re counting on you….” Button psyched himself up, taking another cleansing breath before putting his red bandanna over his muzzle, and when he opened his eyes, they were filled with Determination.

“Next, we have the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Performing; the Ballad of Batcolt~!” Cheerilee announced, and everyone applauded, but were a bit confused when only a masked Button Mash came out from the still closed stage curtains with a guitar, and he easily adjusted the mic down to his level, before plugging the amp cord coming out of the stage floor into his guitar for any said occasion requiring it, and he did some quick tuning to test the acoustics.

The curtains parted to reveal a poorly-made cityscape background with Vivian fully dressed and rather well at that, as Batcolt, even having her wings dyed black and shaped like bat wings, hoof boots over her talons, and a scowling fake gray muzzle over her beak, her tail covered in a short silver pony tail wig of sorts.Then, Button began.

“There was a colt from Trotham, in the batmobile he rode.

Defending the defenseless, it's to him I sing this ode.

With his hammers of justice, he struck down every foe.

Safety for our families, it's this to him we owe.

Gray and blue~, gray and blue~. The colt from Trotham, wore the gray and blue.

He fought the vilest villains, too numerous to list.

Rendering his verdict, with bat-wing covered fist.

Descending from the night sky, his scalloped cape would flow.

Those who broke the law deserve, the punches he would throw.

Gray and blue~, gray and blue~. The colt from Trotham, wore the gray and blue.

But beneath the mask, he was just a colt, same as you and me.

His true face he could never share, a secret identity.

But why endure this lone crusade, fight a fight you just can't win?

If asked, the bat would tell you, "Someone's gotta stand up to all this sin".

Gray and blue~, gray and blue~. The colt from Trotham wore the gray and blue.

Gray and blue~, gray and blue~. The colt from Trotham, wore the gray and blue.

The colt from Trotham, wore the gray and blue~!”

Button finished playing with a satisfied grin, and sighed before looking out over the audience, and feeling a little nervous at all the gawking faces. “W-what? Was I that bad?” Button asked, only for a blue hoof-boot to tug him around to see the amazed faces of his friends, who only looked slightly roughed up compared to what their choreography practice for this would have indicated.

“Where did that come from?!” Vivian demanded as she pulled off a hoof-boot and used the freed talon to pull back her cowl and take off her mask.

“I don’t know. I just...Played….” Button meekly replied, before a flash near the floor got everyone’s attention, and they all gasped, but especially Button when they looked to the source, and saw a Cutie Mark stamped on his formerly blank-flank. It was a green Joyboy with the screen having a smiley face and music notes in it. “Ohmigosh I got my Cutie Mark! But what does it mean?! I wasn’t Playing videogames when I got it!” Button fretted as he stood up and twirled around as he inspected it.

His and his friend’s celebrating was interrupted by the whole crowd going berserk and cheering with words of congratulations and applauding his song as Cheerilee came on stage. “I am so proud of you Button Mash! I’m glad that this talent show could help you find your talent.”

“But Miss Cheerilee, I haven’t!” Button countered in horror, getting the teacher to balk a bit. “I don’t know what my mark means! I wasn’t Playing videogames when I got it, I was Playing the guitar and singing!”

“Yeah! If anything, he should’ve gotten a microphone, or an instrument Cutie Mark! Why did his talent end up being his hobby when he wasn’t even doing his hobby when he got it?” Sweetie Belle asked their teacher, who just smiled knowingly.

“My Little Ponies, you need to remember. Cutie Marks are mysterious, and can be as abstract as anything. Now, you said you were Playing, right Button?” Cheerilee asked as she looked at his new mark carefully.

“Yeah! Isn’t that what you do when you Play an instrument?” Button asked, and Cheerilee giggled.

“Button. Your Talent is Playing!” Cheerilee insisted, and Button gawked at his mark, before realizing the implications, and began cheering as he pranced about.

“Playing?! You Play so many things! I’ve gotta-I have to try this with things like acting, or other types of games I haven’t tried yet!” Button then looked to his friends. “You guys are so great! I’ll be even happier when you find your marks and your Sight Vivian.” Button gushed to his friends who all seemed a little melancholy. “Hey, what’s with the faces?”

“Well...you have your Cutie Mark now….” Scootaloo said morosely.

“That means ya don’t need us no more.” Applebloom emphasised, but before they could continue this line of thought, Button stamped a hoof.

“*Angry stream of Humgonian*-You really think that?! I’m not leaving the Cutie Mark Crusaders until you all have your marks, and Vivian gets her Sight! We already said that we Crusaders would stick together!” Button reinforced, getting his friends to all beam at him, before Cheerilee moved to the mic to announce the awards.

[@]

“Ah can’t believe we won best Music Act!” Applebloom gushed to her friends as they all gathered with their guardians or siblings, Button was off to the side getting a ridiculous amount of snuggles from his mom; Tender Loving Care, so he was indisposed at the moment. Each of them had a gold music note medal, despite that Button did everything, and once he’d gotten started they’d stopped their own part of the act to gawk at him themselves.

“To be fair, Button has enough talent for five ponies.” Vivian countered as she looked at her crush with adoration and sighed wistfully. “With a talent like that, he could do anything if he considers it playing.” Vivian’s behavior got her four currently gathered friends to look at each other, missing Spike growling when Thunderlane got a bit too close to Rarity.

“Is she…?” Scootaloo asked with implication and a hint of disgust.

“Ah think she is….” Applebloom mused.

“Aw, dang it….” Sweetie Belle muttered, getting her gal pals to look at her in surprise. “Oh, c’mon, you have to admit, Button’s got charm.”

“Girls, I’m a colt too in case you forget?” Rumble mumbled to them, and they looked at him like he was dumb.

“Uh, duh? We’re talking about Button though.” Scootaloo replied, getting the pegasus colt to huff in annoyance.

“What? So I’m not cute, or, something that Button is?” Rumble asked defensively, and the fillies all looked surprised, before he stomped off in a tiff.

“What’s with him?” Applebloom asked in confusion.

“Is he jealous?” Sweetie pondered.

“I don’t know….” Scootaloo pondered, but as she watched him strut away to his big brother in a mood, Scootaloo suddenly felt her face get a bit warm, her wings buzzed, and her heart fluttered, before she caught herself. “Oh no! The Cooties! You gave me Cooties Sweetie Belle!” The orange and purple pegasus accused of her friend, who denied it, then came the pointless childish arguing which Vivian ignored as she continued to adore her crush from afar.

“Oh Button Mash...you adorkable lug~.” Vivian whispered to herself before TLC took him home. “I hope you can feel the same way….” Vivian sighed before going up to Shampoo, it was time to go home. And get dye washed out of her feathers….

Author's Note

I am finally back in the saddle, sorta. The song selection was what got me on this one, and I wanted there to be a sense of progression, so no "NO CUTIE MARKS FOR FIVE SEASONS" here. :ajbemused:

It was between Rumble and Button, I chose the dork in this case. :twistnerd:

As for where Bronze is, you'll find out, eventually. :unsuresweetie:

Dogs and Divas

“I swear Spike! You’re going to get fat if you keep doing this!” Rarity complained as she trotted through ponyville, her ‘coltfriend’ for lack of a better term for him, following with a full sized cart hitched up to his rather slim waist, which secretly drove Rarity insane. No stallion, whether pony or dragon, had any right to be so svelte yet athletic as her handsome drake was after his growth spurt.

“I’m sorry Rares. You know I have to eat more now that I’m bigger. And I guess my stomach was bigger than my eyes again….” Spike sheepishly apologized to his marefriend for eating her stores of gems. Again. “It’s either that, or I start hunting in the Everfree, and Twilight’s too worried about me to let me, while Fluttershy would rather I not out of principal.”

“Well tell Twilight to let you off her leash for a bit, that’s my job now. And as for Fluttershy, she knows predation is natural and should be able to accept your primarily carnivorous diet since she’s a friend.” Rarity stressed to her beloved dragon. She loved him, truly, but there came a point where being a doormat was more a nuisance than an endearing trait, she was trying to instill that in him now that her charming drake was reasonably mature enough for their relationship.

“I understand. I’ll tell my mother-figure to stop nagging at me when I’m still living under her, and tell my oversensitive recluse friend to ignore her calling just for me.” Spike sniped with bitter sarcasm, making Rarity flinch at remembering that Spike, while a very kind and caring soul, was very vicious when it came to defending things he cared about. When asked if he’d kill somepony endangering what he cherishes, he instantly said he would.

Rarity found that hot, not that she’d admit it since such a thing should be left to the realms of her trashy romance novels. She’d rather her Spikey Wikey never sully his claws or teeth with the blood of another. Well, any blood but hers if she could get him into some rougher role-play later in their relationship once they’re comfortable with the idea of sex, and then willing to experiment.

“Fine, if I must, then I will be the one to broach the issues with them. Spike, we simply cannot afford your diet. I know I get my gems from local veins so the gems themselves are free, but the time spent getting more eats into the time I could be filling orders.” Rarity insisted, and Spike sighed smoke out of his nose, which made Rarity’s tail flick. For some reason, his smoke tasted and smelled like cherries to her, when to everypony else it was just smoke.

“Okay, I’ll deal with it Rarity. Just please tell me if I get blood or...mess, somewhere on me I don’t notice if I’m going to start hunting.” Spike compromised, and Rarity looked a little ill, but if it meant her future lover was going to be more sustainable, it was a worthwhile tradeoff.

“Just be sure to coordinate with Zecora dear. I’m more than sure she’d appreciate someone helping her out with her own hunts for ingredients and such. Oh, and it may be risky, but please see if she can’t make rugs, leather or whatnot from the pelts of your kills. My more risque and daring customers have started asking for, ahem, ‘articles’ comprised of genuine leather, and fur.” Rarity blushed a bit, and Spike smirked knowingly at his marefriend.

“Oh? Has our...relationship, drawn peculiar eyes?” Spike asked teasingly, and Rarity practically bounced a bit at his tone, he knew his voice drove her mad, so he took every chance to use it to excite her. Also, when excited, Rarity smelled good in a way that just made him happy.

“Yes, actually. I’ve had some customers asking if you...shed.” Rarity hinted, and Spike stuck out his tongue.

“Eugh, really? Ponies want to wear my dead scales? I know I’m good looking, but geez. Lay off the purple ponies.” Spike was hamming it up, he personally found the idea appealing. Perhaps it was his draconic vanity, but he found the idea of ponies wanting to wear his abandoned scales as a point of pride. Sure, he didn’t shed regularly enough for it to matter, but ever since his growth spurt, he’d had to scratch and peel off a layer of dead scales at least once a month. Damn dragon puberty….

“Yes, which is why I’ve been keeping your sheddings. I was just waiting to get the nerve to broach the topic, and since we’re already talking so seriously….” Rarity admitted, and Spike felt an unusual amount of pride that his marefriend kept those husks he’d tossed in her fabric wastebin, not that he planned this mind you….

“Go ahead Rarity. Just be sure not to let anypony demand more when there isn’t any to be had. I will not let anyone but you claim ownership of my body without your leave.” Spike stated, getting Rarity to feel flush, she loved when he was so possessive over her.

“Oh~ I’ll make sure of that.” Rarity preened as the couple realized in their conversing, they’d arrived at their destination; the barren dirt flats east of Ponyville near Rambling Rock Ridge which bordered the north edge of the Everfree. “Well, we’re here. This place grows gems so quickly I’m surprised gem farmers haven’t moved in.”

“Uh, Rarity? Remember the Diamond Dog girls we met awhile back after that Nuada guy first showed up?” Spike asked rhetorically, and his marefriend gagged.

“Ugh, those unwashed ladies were so uncouth. They had wonderful taste in gems though, but amulets, rings and belts can only help so much without bathing.” Rarity complained about their encounter with the ‘varmints’ that Applejack had asked for help convincing that the male ‘stud’ that Winona had told them about wasn’t there anymore. “Not to mention they were so crass. I understand that a lady has urges, but they shouldn’t try to all jump some poor dog just because he’s attractive.”

“We’re digging on their land.” Spike pointed out blandly, getting Rarity to blink, and then groan as she warily looked around the empty landscape.

“Oh dear...I hope they didn’t hear my rather rude words just now….” Rarity meekly whispered. “Oh~ but there’s a commission at risk here! Sapphire Shores put that order in before I knew you’d gone and eaten all my gems again!”

“Geez, I’m sorry. Look, just start scanning and I’ll dig them up milady. Besides killing, crafting and writing, that’s what these were made for.” Spike boasted as he held up his claws, flexing the powerful muscles there and along his forelegs/arms made Rarity shudder, he loved how watching almost any part of him ripple enticed her.

“Yes, certainly.” Rarity replied as she composed herself, stupid sexy Spike…. “Hm, I sense some around this way….” Rarity mused as her horn shimmered the same moderate azure as her eyes with one of her signature spells. As a pony whose Talent was actually the finding, appraisal and use of gems, this gem-finding spell was something she developed herself out of instinct. As she told Bronze so long ago, Fashion was her Passion, her Talent was just worked into it.

“Anything yet precious?” Spike asked her as he followed the intensely focused mare. While she may not like getting dirty, when she was out gem-hunting, she was so in her element she would only notice the dirt after finding her target.

“No...for some reason all the surface gems seem to be gone for the next several hundred yards….” Rarity replied with a sad tone. “Oh dear, I had no clue we were over-harvesting. It could take months before new gems grow here. If we want to get our gems Spike, I’m afraid we’ll have to go deeper.”

“Uh, Rarity, that involves dirt. Everywhere. And since this is the DIamond Dog’s home, then we’d be breaking into their cave system and stealing their gems.” Spike informed, and the mare looked even more distraught, and about to go into one of her dramatic crying fits, when it was prevented by some approaching figures that they turned around to see was three male Diamond Dogs in various sizes from a hulking brute to a foal-sized one, each wore gem-studded collars, but also wore open vests, the mid-sized one’s red vest was a good contrast. “Uh...can we help you?”

“Rover thinks so. Rover also thinks dogs can help pony and dragon.” The mid-sized one, apparently named Rover if their familiarity with Trixie’s third-pony speech was any indicator. “Rover hear pony and dragon need gems? Dogs need gems too. But having trouble finding fresh veins while depleted ones regrow.” Rover informed, and Rarity, ever the businessmare, realized what the dog was indicating.

“You wish for us to help you find new veins, and we’ll split the harvest?” Rarity asked, and the dogs all looked at the fierce and scary dragon who was bigger than even Brutus, the big one of the three, and they gulped.

“Y-yes. Rover is saying such. Come to main entrance, dragon too big for dog-holes.” Rover insisted before the three took off towards the cliffs of Rambling Rock Ridge proper, and the couple looked at each other warily, but both figured that if the dogs tried anything, Spike was more than enough dragon to handle some mutts.

[@]

“Over here!” Rarity gushed in excitement, she was covered in dirt, dust, and mud, and seemed happier than a foal on their birthday. “Oh! Here, here, and here too!” Rarity was on a spree, finding gems left and right that the dogs missed and had also avoided digging into some of those areas since they didn’t want to waste time and resources bracing an area if there were no gems, but with Rarity, the dogs were able to commit their building expertise to bracing the den in those areas so they could dig more gems.

“Rarity, I...think we’ve got all the gems we needed!” Spike insisted, worriedly watching his usually prim and proper marefriend seem to go into a frenzy at finding so many gems, and the dogs so equally gleefully digging them up, heaping half of the take in one pile and half in the other. Spike had stopped digging himself when he noticed how big the piles had gotten, and had been trying to beseech his mare to stop, but his words fell on deaf ears.

“Why stop? Rover swears if too much we keep for pony and dragon’s next trip.” Rover insisted, clearly just half of the take was more than these dogs had gotten in awhile.

“Look, I’m a dragon, and I know what Greed and Hoarding does to my species. I don’t want to know what will happen if a pony falls too into it.” Spike growled, getting Rover to whimper and the drake moved to his mare, grabbing her and hugging her to her confusion.

“Um...Spike? I appreciate the hug, but what’s the occasion?” Rarity asked, before noticing how dirty she was. “Ew! I’m coated in filth! Take us home Spike, I need two showers and a spa date!”

“There’s the mare I love.” Spike sighed in relief that she wasn’t so absorbed in her mining frenzy that she considered it more important than her appearance. “But look at all the gems, I’ll have to make multiple trips to get that to the boutique.” Spike pointed out the two enormous piles, just one clearly too many gems to store in her basement.

“Oh...dear. Um, sorry about the little unladylike behavior boys and girls. I have no clue what use you could have for so many gems.” Rarity apologized to the dogs, who all howled and cheered at her, getting her to blush. “Oh, or you appreciated that?”

“Pony is silly. Not understand that you help dogs?” Rover asked as he held up a ruby set with silver from his pocket. “Dogs passively feed off ambient magics gems give. Makes eating a luxury for dogs than a necessity.” Rover informed, and when Rarity examined the ruby with her magic, she found that it was drawing in magic from the area, and from there, it trickled into Rover like a siphon.

“Oh, I’m so pleased then to have been of aid.” Rarity beamed, she then considered something. “Say, why do you need so many though? Is one not enough to keep a dog nourished?”

“Only special, prepared gems like Rover’s Ruby last many lifetimes. Normal gems only last week at best. Then dogs sell depleted gems to gem market for bits to buy things for den. But depleted gems worth less, so dogs keep life simple.” Rover clarified, and Rarity smiled.

“Then we will come by at least once a month and build up your gem reserves, so long as we can take a share.” Rarity offered, and the dogs all cheered and praised her, making her ego and joy inflate, and Spike snorted before hitching to his cart the dogs had started loading.

“Alright, that’s enough, if we need more we’ll come back for another load whenever, just keep those gems separate from your food stores.” Spike said after the cart was loaded, and the dogs all happily waved them goodbye as Spike strode up the main entrance of the cave and Rarity rested contently on his back. “Can we still not afford my gem diet?”

“No Spike.”

“Awww….”

[@]

The next day, Rarity had finished Sapphire Shores’ dress orders, and was looking forward to her spa date with Fluttershy. Today, since Spike was supposed to cut back on the gems, he had gone into the Everfree to meet with Zecora and go hunting, meaning he wouldn’t be getting his scales polished. As much as Rarity enjoyed when his scales were a lustrous shine, she was secretly glad for him to miss a spa date since she noticed how much Aloe appreciated her dragon’s form, and while not one to admit it, Rarity was very jealous that anypony would even consider approaching her dragon besides her.

“Ah, hello Fluttershy, I’m so glad you made it. I’d been worried your...incident with Bronze would have made you uncomfortable at the spa.” Rarity admitted her concerns to her slightly mutated friend, who lowered her magazine and-. “WHA-HA-HA~?! Fluttershy?!”

Rarity asked fearfully and the now even more buggy mare flinched away, her new fangs poking out of her lips as she cringed, the butter-yellow chitin that was now more uniformly covering her body shined in the light as if she’d just gotten polished, but her eyes were still the same, if having a bit of a glow to them was the same that is, her feathers had also started becoming prismatic starting from the base of her wings.

Thankfully her mane was still the same, else Rarity wouldn’t have recognized her friend at all. “O-oh...is it that bad?” Fluttershy asked nervously, and it was just now that Rarity noticed the trench coat, oversized sun hat, and scarf/sunglasses combo sitting in a cubby bin next to her seat, the poor dear must have hid herself to come to town.

“O-oh no! No! Not at all darling! It was just...a shock!” Rarity downplayed, not outright lying however, as while more akin to Butters now, Fluttershy was still very beautiful, if not more so with her chitin’s shine outlining her form more clearly.

“Oh, thank goodness. When I woke up a few days ago and noticed the chitin spreading, I was worried. But as it spread, I’ve been feeling...better.” Fluttershy admitted, spreading her more powerful-looking wings. “I feel so strong, and energized. It’s very invigorating.”

“Y-yes...well darling, I suppose Aloe and Lotus will be learning yet another new body type for their massages.” Rarity beamed at her very pretty friend, who had somehow made being a bug beautiful too. Rarity didn’t like it, but she was jealous of Fluttershy’s natural beauty, while Rarity had to work so hard for her own.

“I guess so, since any Changelings that might be in town haven’t had the courage to go public yet.” Fluttershy giggled, and soon they were being put through their usual treatments, but Fluttershy decided to try out the polishing the twin massage therapists Aloe and Lotus had put together for Spike, to see if it would benefit her new chitin shell. “Oh~ Faust~...this is heaven~....” Fluttershy moaned as Aloe buffed Fluttershy’s shell to an obscenely reflective sheen after all the other treatments had been done.

“Well, Fluttershy. I actually have something to ask of you, a favor really.” Rarity bit her lip, the raw pleasure Fluttershy drew from certain spots of her shell being rubbed was very flustering, but Aloe kept it professional, even if she was blushing from how her customer was groaning.

“Oh~ Yes!” Fluttershy cried out as Aloe was buffing her inner thigh, and the mare immediately stopped and fidgeted, before wordlessly trotting to her agape sister, and whispering in her ear. Lotus then gulped and moved to continue where Aloe left off, the bothered mare having hurriedly trotted off elsewhere in the building. “I’m sorry, but I’m just so sensitive….”

“I-it’s okay Miss Fluttershy. We’ll just make note of your new...erogenous zones, and work to avoid stimulating them.” Lotus said professionally. “At least this isn’t as bad as discovering Spike’s Cloaca….” Lotus flushed at remembering that awkward day, and Rarity almost had a nosebleed upon learning something very intimate of her coltfriend’s anatomy, which he went into a lecture about. She could hardly wait to try both of his tools when the time came.

“Oh my, that’s...very embarrassing.” Fluttershy, being an animal care specialist, knew just what a cloaca was, and sympathized with the spa mare for having possibly violated Spike’s privates. “So, what is this favor you’re-oh~! A-asking~ about~?” Fluttershy asked as Lotus continued polishing Fluttershy’s inner thigh where her twin left off.

“Well, I have a photo shoot tomorrow with The Photo Finish! The most premiere fashion photographer in Equestria, and I was hoping you would be my model, what with your natural beauty and poise.” Rarity informed, the insecure mare clearly about to fight through her pleasure to decline so Rarity cut her off. “Please help me Fluttershy! Oh please-please-please~!” Rarity pleaded, even bending over backwards over the edge of the tub she was in with her incredible flexibility as her forehooves crossed in a begging position.

“Mmph, a-alright-mm~...since you asked so nicely….” Fluttershy managed to get out as Lotus finished off her hind legs and had been cleaning out and massaging her frog, which while also covered in chitin now, was still soft.

“Yes! Just be at my boutique tomorrow morning, before nine.” Rarity stated with glee.

[@]

“Rarity, I don’t think I need to be this clean….” Spike complained as his marefriend was running floss through his teeth and putting a personal polish on his scales while Twilight, Trixie and Pinkie Pie, sans Pinka Pie, were helping set up her showroom for Photo Finish. The only reason Pinka wasn’t there was because, between her and her twin sister, she was the responsible one who stayed at Sugarcube Corner to help out more often than not, even if she actually hated sweets unlike her energetic sister and the Cakes.

“Nonsense Spike! Photo Finish is a very particular mare. Who's to say she wouldn’t take the chance to get some photos of you too?” Rarity reasoned, getting the teen drake to puff up with some pride at the idea, and Rarity smiled in victory at once again manipulating her dragon in reinforcing ways. She wanted him to love himself, and the more he did, the more handsome he seemed to become.

“Well in that case. Buff away.” Spike purred to her, getting her to shiver as the sponge with the spa’s specially blended exfoliant cream began to drift a bit lower than considered chaste-.

“Nope!” Twilight suddenly snipped, and the sponge was suddenly yanked from Rarity’s magic, the mare growling before Twilight’s indignant demeanor helped hammer her selfish desire to tease her dragon into submission. “You keep your magic away from my ward’s cloaca or I will spay you!”

“Twilight.” Trixie sternly scolded, getting the bookish mare to snort before tossing the sponge back to an annoyed Rarity and an exasperated Spike. “If Spike chooses to get intimate with his marefriend, he’s at an age where he can make those decisions himself.”

“And risk him getting Rarity pregnant? Dragons can breed with anyone. I’d rather they hold off intimacy as long as possible.” Twilight insisted, and Spike rumbled an echoing growl from his chest, Rarity hugging his foreleg comfortingly.

“It’s alright dear, don’t worry, it’s not a concern for me.” Rarity soothed her suddenly infuriated drake, who had smoke billowing from his nostrils and through his clenched teeth. “Twilight, I thought you were smart enough not to try and get between a dragon and their Hoard, or Mate.”

“Oh! Is there going to be a foal-shower?! Can I be their auntie Pinkie?!” Pinkie Pie asked with her ear to Rarity’s side, as if trying to listen for nonexistent foals, getting Rarity and Spike to turn as red as Twilight’s angry eyes.

“Pinkie Pie, as...lovely as having Spike’s foals sounds, we’re nowhere near comfortable with being that intimate right yet.” Rarity excused as Spike sheepishly lowered his head to her ear.

“But what about the oral-?”

“BACK TO BUSINESS~!” Rarity suddenly shouted and hurriedly went about straightening her boutique as Fluttershy and Butters arrived, the two buggy ponies looked a little uncomfortable, and Fluttershy quickly closed the door. “Fluttershy? Why do you look so nervous? I know this is Photo Finish we’re talking about, but you’re-.”

“I-it’s not that….” Fluttershy interjected shyly, Butters nodding from his spot next to her as he gnawed on his invincible wolf plushie nervously. “E-everypony was staring...and not in the bad way….” Fluttershy blushed as she sat and shyly hid behind her mane as she played with her tail.

“Hnf, mmf, ee.” Butters uttered from his stuffed mouth, the simple stallion having started learning how to do pretty much everything a normal pony should know how to do since Fluttershy asked Cheerilee and Twilight to help her teach him how to be a pony. The child-like stallion was a quick study, and was already at the level of a very young colt, but his body being an adult meant he was also subject to feelings and instincts he didn’t understand, everypony was just hoping his innocence would hold on for at least a couple years before his mind caught up to his body.

“Yes Butters, but that’s not a bad thing. You’ll understand when you’re older.” Twilight understood his muffled and simple diction to respond with concern. “So everypony was...looking at you?” Twilight asked curiously with an underlying intent to her words so the adults would understand, but the big buggy stallion wouldn’t.

"*adorable squeaking sounds*" Fluttershy squeaked with a weak nod.

“Well, Fluttershy darling. I’d say that’s a good thing!” Rarity tried to cheer up her introverted friend.

“Hay, if anything, I think it’s about time you considered your options anyhow.” Spike commented, getting Rarity to stomp on his left foreclaw and causing him to yelp.

“Take it from Trixie. When you have such appeal, make the best of it.” Trixie added in, flipping her mane and fluttering her eyes at Twilight, who faintly blushed and looked away.

“But I’m not looking for anypony right now, I’m-.” Fluttershy was tossed into the room by the door slamming open, and in burst several incredibly flamboyantly dressed mares.

“I! Photo Finish. Have arrived.” The mare had a rather heavy accent hinting she must have lived in the regions in or around Germaney at some point, and she had shockingly similar coat and mane colors to Trixie, and Trixie gawked in shock upon realizing something.

“PIXIE?!” Trixie practically squealed, and Photo Finish gawked, before smiling and accepting Trixie’s hug when the ecstatic mare rushed her. “Oh cousin I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“A pleasant surprise to see you as well cousin Trixie.” Photo Finish replied with her accent only slightly coloring her words. “I have not seen you since you graduated early from your classes at CSGU.”

“Wait, you graduated early?!” Twilight asked her marefriend in shock, the prideful stage magician posing next to her cousin in earned pride. “You never mentioned that!”

“Twilight, Trixie is both proud and ashamed to admit she took a fast-tracked course plan, focusing entirely on her talent with illusion magics and only getting passing marks in other categories. It is what allowed Trixie to start her stage career so soon.”

“Indeed, this is so. But enough pleasantries, I am here on business cousin.” Photo Finish reminded, getting Trixie pout. “Oh do not be that way. When we are done here, we shall have coffee, chat about things.” Photo Finish then looked among those assembled. “Oh my, I see such potential. You!” Photo Finish pointed at Fluttershy and Butters. “You are both quite ravishing and unique! Since the changelings are still shy, you would be great models to break the ice in the industry! And you!” Photo then pointed at Spike. “Such a delectable specimen! The mares would eat you up!”

“Oh? Thank you.” Spike preened, his maw stretching in a pleased grin.

“Oh~ I’m so glad I made clothes for you too Spike! Let’s set up some sample-!” Rarity started, only to be interrupted.

“That will not be necessary.” Photo Finish interjected. “To hide his body in clothes? A shame! Ponies know so little of dragons, to hide such a specimen so soon would be folly!”

“O-oh, yes, I can understand that. But what about-.” Rarity asked as she gestured to Fluttershy and Butters, only to again be interrupted.

“No! They too are fresh, new! I must work with them raw first, and then, only then shall I dare hide or enhance their natural beauty with fashion! I am not just a fashion photographer Miss Belle, I am also an important maverick in discovering new things in the world of modeling first and foremost. While I did enjoy your hat, I am pleased to discover something fresh, and new! For this, I shall have you on my short-list of tailors for special shoots. Come now you three! To the park, we go.”

Photo then dashed out the door, her flamboyantly dressed assistants collecting a flustered Fluttershy, bemused Butters, and surprised Spike before rushing after, leaving Rarity on her plot, gaping out the door as her other friends were equally shocked. “Trixie is SO sorry! She forgot how forceful and rude Pixie could be in the pursuit of her craft.”

“Are you okay Rarity?” Pinkie Pie asked, while Twilight was both visibly upset, yet worried about something.

“H-huh? Oh, yes, I’m just...fine Pinkie Pie. I was just snubbed in my own shop, and had one of my best friends and my own coltfriend purloined into potential modeling careers without me.” Rarity said with tears prickling her eyes.

“This is...different.” Twilight suddenly commented, looking concerned. “Photo Finish was supposed to just scout Fluttershy as her new model. Not her, Butters, and Spike. This has potential far-reaching consequences in the timeline!” Twilight’s mane started getting frazzled with cowlicks, and at recognizing the danger, Trixie quickly rushed her marefriend and drew her into a searing kiss, causing Twilight’s mane to puff up a moment and then flatten out as she hummed into her mare’s lips.

After breaking the kiss, Trixie smirked knowingly. “Better?”

“Much. Thank you Trixie.” Twilight warmly replied and kissed her nose, getting Trixie to giggle. “But this is serious! Who knows what fame might do with Spike or Butters involved! I have no clue how this might affect potential future events! It was hard enough to calculate things when Spike matured so much sooner than he was supposed to! Now I have to worry about him being on the cover of Playmare magazine?”

“W-wait, what?!” Rarity demanded with her pupils shrinking to pinpricks.

“Rarity, Raw Modeling is usually used to profile new species in the industry, but it’s also used to scout out potential Playcolt and Playmare models. And knowing how prideful Spike can be, both as himself and as a dragon, I have a hard time believing he’d turn down a job as a model in that capacity if it was offered to him.” Twilight informed with deep concern on her face and in her tone.

“So ponies all across Equestria and beyond might be clopping to my coltfriend?!” Rarity hysterically asked, before pausing, and blushing through her whole body. “S-somehow...that’s really enticing a thought, even if such a thing is so unbecoming and naughty.”

“Well either way, at least Fluttershy and Spike will get some sort of income right?” Pinkie asked, getting her friends to all look at her oddly. “What? Just because I like to host parties doesn’t mean I don’t understand the importance of bits, and as it stands Fluttershy gets by on donations from the town since she keeps the animals pacified, and Spike had no income to speak of.”

“Well, if that’s the case, Trixie is all for this turn of events.” Then she looked between Rarity and Twilight. “If Spike does get put in issues of Playmare, would it be alright for Trixie to admire him?”

“NO!” Both of them shot down, and Trixie shrugged as Pinkie giggled.

[@]

Rarity was at the spa with Twilight, Trixie and Pinkie. Again Pinka opted out to watch the shop today since the Cakes were off on business and decided to keep the Corner running while they were away. It had been almost a week since Photo Finish had barged into Rarity’s shop and absconded with their friends, and the three had been so busy none of them had heard from the sudden modelling super stars.

Rarity herself was nose-deep in an issue of Playmare, shamelessly ogling a picture of her coltfriend that was beyond sexy and she would admit to wanting to clop to. “I am so embarrassed, but so enticed by the fact that my coltfriend is a Playmare star.” Rarity said to her friends as she hesitantly closed the porno mag, just glad that Spike had apparently stated he would only do pin-ups since his bio in the magazine said he was taken and was not comfortable with casual sex.

“As unhappy as I am about him taking a Playmare job, at least the few times he’s been home this week he’s been happy, so I guess as his guardian I should at least be glad he’s found some work...even if I’d rather he just stay home….” Twilight grumbled from her side of the hot tub the four were soaking in.

“Cheer up Twilight. At least the weekly stipend you get from Celestia and from the town for upkeep of the library is being spent more on yourself and the library than Spike’s diet.” Trixie tried to point out the positives, but the purple unicorn just sighed sadly and sank into the water.

“Be nice about it Trixie. Twilight’s baby dragon is a grown-up dragon now. She has to learn to let go.” Pinkie said, her wet mane making her look like Pinka with it straightened out by the water.

“You’ve been giving oddly sage advice lately Pinkie.” Rarity commented, and Pinkie shrugged.

“Pinka’s been a good influence I guess, with her out and lecturing me constantly instead of contently relaxing inside me, it’s hard not to listen.” Pinkie gave as an answer, and Twilight resurfaced.

“Speaking of that, we all just decided to accept that when you both suddenly showed up in separate bodies. What was it that freed you from the mirror again Pinkie?” Twilight asked her pink party pony of a friend, who tilted her head.

“Huh? I thought the author already clarified that….” Pinkie’s words confused her friends, but she shrugged. “Oh well. See, Bronzie pulled us to this other world, and he made my new body, then this pretty fox lady pulled me from the mirror and put me in.”

“So more Displaced shenanigans, right. But why isn’t he back already? I had thought that time dilation between our world and practically all others was completely negatable.” Twilight mused worriedly, and indeed, Bronze had been gone from their world as a whole for over two weeks now. His absence wasn’t uncommon, but the utter lack of him not being on the same planet or even universe for so long felt...wrong, unsettling even when considered.

“Maybe he just wants the whole Mad Prince fiasco to fade into obscurity before he returns? It is something Trixie would do.” Trixie suggested, only for Rarity to levitate a fashion magazine over to Trixie and open to a page. “‘It is odd to consider that her beauty is only increased by the Mad Prince’s assault-’ -now that’s just cruel! Using Fluttershy to prolong our friend’s moment of weakness.” Trixie scowled at the magazine, smacking it across the room with a hoof which Rarity completely felt was justified.

“Um, hello? Is this spot taken?” The four looked up to see a heavily covered up Fluttershy peeking down at them with her huge sunglasses lowered from her ‘disguise’ of her trenchcoat and such.

“Fluttershy!” The four mares all joyfully called out and Rarity practically stripped Fluttershy in a flash with her magic, getting the beautiful butterfly mare to squeak as Twilight tugged her into the tub with them a moment later using her own telekinesis, resulting in the introverted mare getting hugged by her friends.

“Fluttershy! You’re even prettier than the last time I saw you!” Pinkie Pie complimented the rainbow-feathered mare, who fluttered her wet wings at the praise, each feather was a different radiant color, as if her feathers were made of gemstones rather than their more humble organic fibrous structures.

“Oh my! Thank you. I’ve been told that by so many strangers it’s hard to accept, but hearing it from one of my friends means so much.” Fluttershy sighed in relief as she pulled out of the hug and leaned back, her longer, more pronounced fangs really started to make her look like a yellow-shelled changeling, and her eyes starting to glow even more really hammered home she wasn’t really a pegasus anymore.

“But where are Butters and Spike? I’d thought they’d have come with you.” Rarity asked, and Fluttershy sighed again, this time in exasperation.

“Photo Finish said she wanted another album of Butters being cute and endearing in more elaborate stallion outfits, and Spike had another...um….” Fluttershy blushed, getting the others to uncomfortably fidget. “He’s been very...enthusiastic. Rarity, I’m worried. If he doesn’t get some release soon, he might….” Fluttershy forewarned, and Twilight cringed, wishing she could have some brain bleach at thinking of her ward in that way, while Rarity became extremely concerned.

“Oh~ this won’t do! But I can’t do anything if he doesn’t come to me.” Rarity sniffled, scared that her coltfriend’s probably constantly stoked libido might drive him to do something with somepony else she would rather he only do with her. Playcolt and Playmare models are known to become rather...active outside their usual work if they don’t take a break from it now and then according to some tabloids she’d read.

*ROAR~*

A loud, rumbling and desperate below came from outside, only for Spike to smash through one of the walls, spot Rarity, and then promptly pick her up by the scruff of her neck with his teeth, causing her to yelp and wail as he spun around and ran out of the now slightly demolished spa, Twilight, Fluttershy and Trixie all looking on in shock with gaping expressions, just moments before Butters trotted through the hole, spat out three scrolls, nodded assertively at Fluttershy, and then trotted back out.

“...Trixie must ask, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!” Trixie shouted, while Pinkie Pie giggled madly.

“He just barged in and ponynapped his princess to his dungeon!” Pinkie began laughing uproariously as the other mares all blushed in understanding.

“W-what did Butters just leave?” Fluttershy asked, and Twilight, trying not to think of her ward having...intimate encounters with her friend, levitated the scrolls up to the group, and opened them all to gape at them.

“They’re resignation forms for your jobs! All co-signed by Butters and approved by Photo Finish! But a co-sign resignation can only be done by a family member under concern for an employee’s health in certain circumstances without the employee’s signature.” Twilight looked to Fluttershy in confusion, and the buggy mare simply sighed in true relief.

“I was going to wait to announce it, but I’ve officially adopted Butters as my son….” Fluttershy smiled gently, and the other mares all looked at her with pride. “Now, that seems to be the end of our modeling careers...but….” Fluttershy looked at the gaping hole in the wall, and the mares all wilted, knowing that would have to come out of their pockets, or at least Spike’s.

“Sup girls! What’d I-?” Bronze suddenly appeared from a Doorway that opened in the middle of the floor, but upon seeing them all bathing, and the hole in the wall, he silently, slowly withdrew into the Doorway, and quietly clicked it shut awkwardly until the Doorway vanished.

“...Ten bits he doesn’t show up again for a week.” Trixie put up, and the others all immediately got on the bet.

Author's Note

*is sitting alone in card shop, building UFS decks, waiting for players to arrive for tourny*
"Y'know? I haven't written anything in a month...ever since the latest series for UFS came out, I've been just playing card games...." *Looks at Gyro Man deck* "Am I spending too much time on my hobby?"
Write a UFS Displaced~! *demands the character card, getting me to scream like a girl and run away*

That's Right...I'm a Public Official....

It was good to be back for Bronze. Being tossed around other Displaced more-or-less without his own volition was rather tiring, even though his Grauntie Rin wound up helping him coincidentally reunite with his best friend Konrad, who was now named Ava, and was a smoking hot babe instead of a guy now, but he’d cross that bridge when they hung out later now that they had each other’s tokens.

Then there was being literally stuck in Nuada’s world, completely cut off from his powers for combat training, that wasn’t very fun, but it was incredibly educational on quadrupedal martial arts and overall control. Not to mention that while he was there, Discord had absolutely no way to worm into his head, and due to the absence, now that he was back, he could feel Discord trying to take over, and it helped him resist better, but he still needed a Sanity Serum injection the instant he got home to help cope.

Regardless, having been gone for so long, at least to the other’s perspectives, led Bronze to decide he had some serious prioritizing to do.

“How’s my Baby kitty? How is my baby~?”

Like spending time with his pets.

Baby, Bronze’s oldest cat, the long-haired black one he raised from a kitten small enough to fit in his palm as a human was purring up a storm and hugging his neck as she nuzzled his ear, effectively pinning him since he was laying on the floor of Nexus Overlook in the Pet Paradise to soak up the affection of his neglected pets.

Well, only neglected in that Bronze hadn’t spent any time with them as of late, to his perspective anyhow. Jeeves said to them; he was there all the time. Some sort of stupid aura thing involving Nexus.

“Sophie~. My soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur~.” Sophie, the youngest cat, was also the most shy and fattest by virtue of her fused lower spine, a present from a union worker that stepped on her developing body when she was but a kitten before Ronald; Bronze’s father, had brought her home one day. The white and orange fluff ball was pretty much the bear of the three cats too, she even had the hilarious tendency to sit and lay upright, a feat easy for her thanks to her fused lower spine.

“Jazzy cat, Jazzy cat. Who’s the spazzy cat?” Bronze crooned as he gently scratched the chin of the middle cat, Jasmine, a huge and mean Havana Brown black short-hair. She had a tumor in her head that made her extremely violent, short-tempered, and a crazy bipolar little monster. But he and his parents still loved her. Especially since she cost Maria; his mom, her Mustang since his dad was more focused on rescuing the flea-ridden kitten their then-choice auto shop had in a cage than getting her car fixed.

“Yes doggies, yes, I love you all too~.” Bronze cooed as Jasmine and Sophie moved away for the dogs to move in and start kissing and nuzzling Bronze’s face, getting him to laugh and futilely try to avoid the slobbery little kisses. Unlike the cats the dogs didn’t have much story behind them, Ronald just kept bringing animals home, until Maria put her foot down and put any more he brought home up for adoption, but Cuddles, the old dog, Violet, the energetic dog, and Klingon, the puppy all stayed, two rat terriers and a chihuahua respectively.

“Now c’mere, I have something for a few of you.” Bronze cooed, mentally utterly terrified with what he was going to attempt.

What happened with Fluttershy helped introduce how utterly violating his powers could be, what happened with his Grauntie Rin and him temporarily turning into a completely rubber yet still alive pony just by sampling the rubber of the ball she’d gagged him with told him that he could ignore practically all rules of biology when it came to the matter of the soul and ‘living’. Then him ripping his Grauntie Rin’s very DNA from his old friend Ava further asserted that, if it had physical space in any way, he could outright directly mess with it.

Essentially it all suggested he could not just make part of a living entity from inanimate material and still be fully functional, but the entire body, including brain, and they would still be alive. How such a thing worked was beyond him, his logic said that the subject should be dead, but they were clearly still fully aware of themselves.

First he was going to tend to their disabilities.

Cuddles was first, the old dog had a permanently swollen neck from being bit and shook by a pitbull several years ago, as well as becoming morbidly obese due to any activity causing him pain. Bronze pet him, and watched as with his intent, the swollen, dead muscle tissue in his neck was more evenly distributed across the poor dog’s body as proper living muscle tissue, converted the fat to other body materials across the old boy’s body, then he focused on forcibly renewing all his cells, which visibly de-aged the dog until he was the spitting image of health, even his cataracts were gone.

Bronze was silently in awe.

He valiantly ignored Cuddle’s gleeful appreciation for his master’s mysterious help, and moved on to Jasmine. She was easier, the big, mean cat’s only real ailment was her brain tumor, which was easy to simply re-incorporate into her brain as properly aging and dying cells, the girl instantly began purring as the constant pressure in her head finally vanished.

Then Sophie, the skittish thing, decided to run away because she sensed he was going to reach out to her, and she only accepts attention on her terms. So he focused harder, and she jumped as the fused portions of her spine just above her tail, for the first time in her life, were no longer a single solid rod of bone. She might actually miss it, considering she loved to use it to help her ‘stand’ or ‘sit’ upright, even sleep like that.

The other three were healthy aside from his cat Baby’s constant scabbing on her head, but for her, his precious, he had dangerous but hopeful plans. “Baby. My boo-boo kitty. I can’t possibly understand you like Shy can, but if you can, tell me, would you like to be my Familiar?” Bronze asked, this was something that Twilight and his mom had said was a serious thing, and if possible should always be verbally broached.

The act of either gaining, or creating, a Familiar was an intrinsically binding art of magic. Perfect examples would be of his Aunt Tia’s ‘pet’ phoenix, Philomena, his mom’s ridiculously and oddly adorable anteater Noodle who she keeps in her own private getaway, and even Spike, who by all accounts, was created by Twilight when she was just a filly, essentially both ethically and magically making Twilight Spike’s mother.

This would suggest that Jeeves was his Familiar already, but that wasn’t true, Proxies and Familiars were inherently different in that Proxies were literally a direct part of their Master, while Familiars had their own wills, thoughts, desires and such separate from their Master, thus more limited in scope and potential.

That isn’t to say that Familiars are not powerful entities in their own rights, almost indestructible in the vein that so long as their master still lives, they in one way or another cannot be fully destroyed. Killed, yes, altered, indeed, but they can simply be reconstituted in another form, mentally and magically the Familiar would still be the same. So saying, if Spike died, sure, everyone would be sad, but Twilight could just quite literally make a golem and his spirit, mind, and magic could inhabit it. It was a grim thought, but just the same, Baby was his precious little girl, and he didn’t want to lose her if he could help it.

Upon him asking, Baby had meowed and began kneading his neck, even biting his ear affectionately, getting him to hiss slightly and feel his heart swell as the magic began to take form in his horn, linking him and his favorite pet by their minds, magics, and even souls. Bronze gasped as he was instantly flooded with a sensation of pure, unconditional love, while Baby purred contently as her ‘daddy’ seemed to have a permanent seated presence in her awareness, the simple cat’s mind rapidly changing due to the more-or-less Contract allowing her intelligence to be boosted by magic innately.

For an unknown number of minutes, Bronze and Baby laid there, just basking in the new sensation of their Master/Familiar relationship. But Bronze did this specifically so he could try something risky with her, so she would be safe if anything went wrong. “Baby, I’m going to do something to your physical form so that you might better protect yourself, and if you want, others. Do I have your permission?”

In response, Bronze felt an echo of what he could only assume was consent, trust, and love the likes of which he had never known. No wonder his mom loved Noodle so much if just interacting with him was so euphoric.

Taking her acceptance at it’s face value, Bronze got up, Baby easily balancing on his back as he trotted out of the Pet Paradise, his other pets all meowing and howling in disappointment, but he was all too used to their adorable neediness and moved to the ‘balcony’ next to the wall of universe-viewing ‘windows’ to exit out into Nexus, and flew down from the ledge towards the still growing expanse of the Mojave Desert, which was beginning to take up a majority of the landmass in Nexus.

It was to his old home in the now fully restored and even improved Las Vegas where he went with his precious Familiar. Baby was utterly ecstatic to see the place she’d lived for a good portion of her formerly short life, and jumped off to start running around and rolling in the dry, practically dead grass of the backyard.

“C’mon now boo-boo. I know you like being back...home….” Bronze’s voice cracked. “But that’s not why we’re here.” Bronze moved to the shed, said humble shack was immaculate unlike before...everything. Ignoring the pain of simply being here, Bronze opened the latch, and pulled open the door, scrunching his nose at the potent stench of death radiating from within. “So...what do you think?”

Bronze’s question of his new Familiar was answered by an excited meow and the adorable creature running into the dark wooden storage structure, Bronze smiling as his eyes swirled slightly, his magic lighting up.

[@]

“Explain again, why a tree needs a luxury bed all to itself?” Spike asked spitefully of Applejack, since being as large as he was, the caboose car was the only one he could actually get comfortable in. Yet Applejack insisted that instead of in the storage car, Bloomberg, the flippin’ tree she was transporting to her cousin Braeburn in some frontier town named Appleloosa got a large bed which should have rightfully been his to sleep in.

Insert very unhappy dragon into the situation.

“‘Cuz Bloomberg is a bit of a tender-root. Ah’m sure once he’s in some solid soil he’ll be right as rain, but ‘til then, Ah’ve gotta make sure he’s nice ‘n comfortable.” Applejack explained cheerfully as she hugged the tree.

“...Yeah, not buying it.” Spike grumbled, sighing as he laid down on the hardwood floor of the car. “Look, can you just leave me alone then? You girls are such chatterboxes I would’ve come back here even if there was room for me in the passenger cars. Tell Rarity I’m lonely.” Spike purred at the end, making Applejack flush slightly and glare at him.

“Not in front of Bloomberg! It’s bad enough he had to see Bloomette and Stem get frisky with Timberwolves, then give birth to two downright adorable apple-wolf pups. Poor thing’s been scarred for life. It’s why he even wanted to leave mah orchard.” AJ stated seriously, and Spike rolled his eyes.

“Geez, fine. Rob any and all fun from this trip.” Spike grumbled, since ever since he quit his Playmare job, he and Rarity have been...active. Sure, they practiced contraception and only did it when Rarity was properly in the mood, but they were still active and Spike knew how to get her in the mood.

“Good, g’night Spike. Don’t be snorin’ no smoke or fire though.” AJ joked, getting Spike to groan as she left.

“That was one time! I swear, you snore smoke in a mare’s face once after sex and she tells all her friends.” Spike muttered. Rarity loved his smoke since to her it for some reason smelled and tasted of things she adored, and didn’t hurt her at all. Twilight explained it was something dragons subconsciously did with their magic to adjust to their partner to avoid hurting them.

Spike figured since he wasn’t likely to get any company or entertainment of any form for a while, he might as well settle in for a long rest. He was too young to need ridiculously lengthy periods of sleep yet, but he still loved a good sleep. The hardwood floor wasn’t comfortable to say the least, but hey, a dragon could sleep in piles of gems, gold and other uncomfortable materials, this was nothing.

As such, he didn’t even wake up when his train car was detached….

[@]

Bronze’s signature mahogany Doorway appeared in the middle of a western frontier town, and it opened to allow Bronze to stroll out with a curious expression, drawing the attention of everypony around. “Huh...odd. I sense AJ is out here somewhere. This definitely isn’t Ponyville. I’ve gotta get more practice in on geographic accuracy.” Bronze scratched his chin as a yellow earth pony stallion wearing a stetson similar to AJ’s along with a matching brown vest trotted up to him. “Hello sir, I seem to have taken a wrong turn, might I know where this is?”

“Well colt howdy! It’s a pleasure to meet ya Prince Bronze! Welcome to Aaaaaappleloosa!” The stallion emphatically welcomed him, to a point he even reared back and pedaled his forelegs, making Bronze flinch back instinctively from his training with Nuada and a squad of guards ingraining into him that a pony rearing back was a pony ready to strike. “Ah’m Braeburn Apple! Would ya like a tour of our lovely town?”

“Uh, no, not at the moment.” ‘Besides, I’ve seen enough frontier/ghost towns in the desert to be familiar with just about any town like this.’ “I’m actually looking for an orange mare named Applejack, would you have seen her about?” Bronze asked, getting the stallion to blink in surprise.

“Mah cuz? Shoot, you’re actually a good deal early. She’s not even supposed to arrive for another-.” Braeburn was interrupted by a train’s whistle, and they turned to see the train pulling in. “Odd...it’s here quite a bit early itself….” Braeburn mused worriedly as he began to trot towards the train station, and Bronze hummed before turning to the door.

“Just hold on a minute Baby, I’m going to go see what’s going on.” Bronze let her respond with a mewl, before closing the Doorway and following after the admittedly well-built stallion. ‘Huh, didn’t think I was in any way Bi, but I guess this guy’s just got the curse of being too attractive.’ Bronze considered as he noticed everypony they passed couldn’t avoid giving Braeburn a quick look-over as they passed, so Bronze shrugged as he neared the station with his potential cousin-in-law, the whole time oblivious to the fact that the same eyes lingered on him shortly after Braeburn.

Thankfully, there weren’t many passengers since this line only led out from Canterlot, through Ponyville, and ended here at Appleloosa; the southernmost town in all Equestria, not counting any old family homesteads out in the plains. The reason this was a good thing was Bronze’s friends all disembarked almost immediately, oddly only AJ, Pinka, Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy were present. “Girls! There you are!” Bronze shouted as he approached alongside Braeburn, getting the worried faces to all look relieved and happy.

“Bronze! Colt howdy, ya sure have impeccable timing what with ya bein’ late to everything.” Applejack half scolded and half praised as she galloped up to her coltfriend and got on her hind legs with her forehooves bracing on his chest to kiss him as he had to turn his head down to accept it, his wings twitching and his tail flicking in joy, getting Braeburn to choke for a moment.

“Whoa-whoa now! Hold on a tick, what’s this with mah cuz bein’ all intimate with the Prince? And why haven’t Ah heard a word of this?” Braeburn practically demanded of his cousin, who stopped kissing her beau and looked at Braeburn with a measure of bashfulness.

“Ah...well...plum forgot to bother mentioning Bronze in mah letters?” AJ excused in embarrassment, getting Braeburn to scoff and roll his eyes.

“Sugarcube, ya know how the Family likes to talk about all of our respective relationships, or lack of one. Great-Aunt Granny Smith still won’t stop pestering me to find a mare. You’re just not willing to draw the heat off me huh?” Braeburn teased with a knowing grin, and AJ smacked his hat off, getting him to laugh as he grabbed it from the air. “Well that answers that! But that doesn't answer why them stallions around the train are all cantankerous.”

Braeburn pointed out the train drivers and attendants all fussing over the last car, specifically the coupling that seemed to be missing it’s pin if one bringing a spare said anything. “I have terrible news! Some brutish Buffaloes made off with the caboose of the train! Spike with it!” Rarity stated dramatically with a rather decent level of calm mixed with anxiety, after all; her wyrmfriend was essentially foalnapped.

“Not to mention Bloomberg with it!” Applejack added, only getting Bronze to raise an eyebrow down at his lover, who blushed at remembering he considered her naming all of her trees to be ridiculous and silly. “D-don’t give me that brow!”

“AJ; trees can’t think. Not unless they’re sentient or sapient. We’ve been over this.” Bronze stated factually, getting Applejack to be even more embarrassed since this was one of few topics Bronze always won in. “If you want to name so many things, get more pigs or chickens for the farm.” Bronze then looked to Twilight, who looked the most calm among them. “Twilight, can you feel out where….” Bronze paused, suddenly stilling at fully noticing Fluttershy, actually seeing her, and the bug-mare looked at him in confusion, looking herself over and sniffing her mane.

“W-what’s wrong Bronze?” Fluttershy asked, honestly perplexed. She was used to ponies staring after weeks of it, and was starting to accept it as a fact of life. Her short modeling career also helped her actually understand that she was very beautiful, but didn’t want it to get to her head, she was a humble mare.

“...How can you even look at me without fear?” Bronze asked in shock and sadness, his friends all looking ready to pounce and hug him or something.

“Bronze...that wasn’t you. Besides...I turned out beautiful anyway, right?” Fluttershy asked rhetorically, getting Bronze to flinch at remembering what train of morbid thought had led him down that path, and subsequently doing this to her. “Sorry….”

“Now isn’t the time for this, I’m sorry you two, but there’s more dire circumstances at hoof, and nopony holds anything against anypony other than you on yourself Bronze.” Twilight interjected to get the situation back on track. “As for your unvoiced question Bronze; yes, I can. He’s my son and Familiar after all.” Twilight declared with all seriousness. “I can even give you precise coordinates so you can take us to him and get everything settled ASAP.”

“Or I’ll go alone.” Bronze responded, and then moved to continue before anypony could interject. “I’m not taking anypony with me into anymore situations. If I can handle it alone, I will.” Bronze stated imperiously, for a moment, seeming to be the prince he really was, sharing his mother’s commanding aura that brooked no argument. “Just let me link with you so I can sense where he is for a moment, then I’ll go and fetch him, AJ’s tree, and see what all the hubbub is about.”

“Fine... you need to have faith in your friends to be able to do things without you….” Twilight considered, before sending out a tendril of magic, which Bronze ensnared with his own, and they both hummed. “Yes, that’s about right. Impressive, your spatial awareness is second-to-none Bronze.”

“It’s my job, I better be good at it, even if I fumble now and then.” Bronze then warped away, and was standing in the middle of a camp right next to a surprised Spike, and several startled and defensive large Buffalo, who were all significantly larger than most ponies, though that didn’t include him. “Spike, how are things?”

“Bronze, good to see you.” Spike adjusted quickly, looking to the Buffalo. “Relax everyone, this is my friend; Prince Bronze Brave of Equestria.” This did get Bronze attention, but not what he was used to. Instead of bowing, or otherwise being cowed, the beefy bovines of the plains all seemed even more standoffish. “Uh...guys? You...kinda don’t wanna trigger-.”

“So! One of the pony invader’s rulers has come!” Came an irate baritone voice, drawing Bronze’s attention to the only one wearing more than a couple of feathers, rather he wore a full headdress, and was of a much darker, earthier tone of brown than his compatriots.

“Invaders, did you just call My Little Ponies invaders?” Bronze’s tone and demeanor instantly became that of an offended royal as he strode up to the apparent leader, towering over him and looking down at him from over his snout, as if lowering his head all the way was too much trouble for him. “On what grounds do you dare state such a thing?”

“On the grounds that your squatters are desecrating our sacred stampeding grounds!” The bull shouted in defense, and also clearly did not care for how Bronze loomed over him.

“Jeeves. Scroll.” Bronze stated, and a tiny door opened in the air, Jeeves’ stone hand reaching out with a scroll that Bronze took in his magic, and unraveled to read. “On this day, February 24th in the year 1127 P.U-Post Unification for the uneducated-does the Grand Union of Buffalo Tribes recognize Equestria’s right to their lands for settlement, in exchange for provisions and full citizenship.” Bronze then turned the signed, sealed, and official copy of the original document from approximately 74 years ago as it was February in the year 1201 P.U. “As you can clearly see; My Little Ponies are in their full right, given by your people, to settle here! If you had not wished anypony to settle in any specific regions, you should have clarified it!”

In response, the chieftain sputtered and looked aghast at the document that was still quite a few decades older than himself, and recognized the sigils of the tribes, stamped by both his predecessor and the leaders of the other tribes, meaning this was in no way a false document. “B-b-but! But we need to uphold the tradition! We must stampede through the valley! It’s been part of our tradition for-mmph!” Spike grabbed the chieftain’s muzzle, and rapidly shook his head.

“Don’t go on a ramble again! Bronze doesn’t have that kind of patience….” Spike warned with a scared expression, only for Bronze to use his magic to gently remove Spike’s claw from the chieftain’s muzzle.

“What are you talking about Spike? I love to hear people ramble, let him continue.” Bronze insisted, and the chieftain lit up, taking a breath as everyone in the immediate area cringed and prepared to cover their ears.

[@]

“The Buffalo are wonderful bovines.” Bronze commented with a smirk as he, Spike, Pinkie and Rainbow who had appeared at some point in the middle of Chief Thunderhooves’ educational tirade, and Little Strongheart, a gangly young heifer who was the Chieftain’s daughter all trotted through Appleloosa some hours later in the evening as Bronze had warped them there after coming to an agreement with Thunderhooves.

“I understand that you’re a powerful pony, but how will you manage it so soon before the Stampede come morning?” Little Strongheart asked curiously of Bronze as they passed through the town, several townsponies whispering and pointing in their direction.

“I am the Alicorn of Space, it is within my domain.” Bronze spoke easily in reply, ignoring the rest of his friends and lovers, in favor of continuing his set task with Little Strongheart as the official witness while they caught up with the other three that had visited the Buffalo. “Here we are, the orchard. Which direction will the tribe be stampeding?”

“From East to West, following the sun.” Little Strongheart stated, and Bronze’s horn lit up in his magic, summoning Bloomberg and easily transplanting the tree on the fringe of the orchard.

“You see how easy that was for me, Little Strongheart? Watch this.” Bronze hammed, excited as from his stationary position next to her, he began to meticulously pluck apple trees out in a path through the center of the orchard leading East to West, moving them to the edges of the orchard, keeping to the grid pattern, and unseen to any but him at the moment, he replaced the grass in the path with hardier breeds from Terra meant to be trampled upon, which was a lighter color than the lush green grass surrounding it, helping highlight the trail. “And. Done.” Bronze sighed in satisfaction before turning around to blink at the enormous crowd of ponies from the town all slack-jawed and shocked. “...What?”

“Prince Bronze Brave, sir, what did ya just do to the town’s orchard?” Braeburn half demanded and half asked out of curiosity since it seemed from all of their perspectives he just uprooted and replanted an enormous number of trees within a few minutes.

“Listen to me, My Little Ponies!” Bronze called out in a toned-down version of the Royal Canterlot Tone, his voice carried regardless. “I have brokered an agreement with the Buffalo tribe of the region! In exchange for clearing out a path through the stampeding grounds, they will no longer harass you, and rather, would like to engage in cultural exchange, beginning with...Apple Pies!”

“What?!” Came the resounding disbelief from the whole town, his friends included aside From Pinkie and Pinka, who snorted in amusement.

“Yes! After I informed them of the delicacies made from apples, they were enticed to try pony food as a start, and move on from there. Know this My Little Ponies, you will be the first town in recent history to potentially become home to species outside us Ponies, I hope you will be open-minded, and accepting!” Bronze declared, getting the town to murmur nervously, yet with excitement. “Also…!” Bronze opened a huge Doorway, and out came a gigantic black panther easily twice his size, getting everypony to gasp in shock. “This is my official Royal Familiar; Baby~!” Bronze gushed as he hugged his giant kitty, who mewled and purred as she licked his face.

Needless to say...Appleloosa soon declared Bronze their favorite alicorn come the next day as friendships formed and apple pies were shared.

Also Baby was an adorable softie and let ponies take rides on her back, it was a good day.

Author's Note

What's this? An update?! :pinkiegasp:

I wish I could say this is a good sign, but this literally took months between life and all my other distractions. :facehoof:

Here's hoping I can get the next chapter out before December. :twilightblush:

Also, the beginning is referencing the World's Most Horrifying Game of Golf, Dark Temple and Goddess Games, and a segment of No Need For Equestria not yet released.

Familiar Friend Fundate?

Bronze had to admit, from atop his palanquin on Baby’s back, that Familiars were awesome~! Baby actually got the weird notion she liked being ridden, when before she was like any other cat. The changes were obvious, but she was still his kitty so he would spoil her, however odd her requests.

Like the palanquin, she got tired of ponies holding onto her and wanted something like a saddle, which, quite hilariously, was considered both a fashion statement in Equestria, as well as a naughty toy for the bedroom. So Bronze did her one better and got a small gazebo harness for her he made himself, she loved it when she wasn’t relaxing and enjoyed giving ponies rides.

However he did not like all the appreciation she was apparently receiving from the manticores in the Everfree, at least according to Fluttershy, since Baby refused to clarify and snootily stuck her nose up whenever he demanded to know what she was doing in the Everfree anyway. He kinda understood where Twilight was coming from involving Spike having a relationship now….

Regardless, Bronze was riding Baby both to amuse himself, her, and to appear silly for when his mom and aunt Tia arrived for their casual visit.

He’d wrote to them that he had a Familiar and was back in the universe from his dimension-hopping, and they decided to make an informal but still somewhat formal visit to get together with him and all his friends for the day.

But for a fact, his aunt had the horrible term Familiar Friend Fundate coined for the visit, making him cringe, and he loved horrible puns too.

“Does everything please Your Highness?” Oh yes, and there was also the constant nervous reminders that he’s royalty.

“For the last time, yes! You don’t have to worry. Everything’s fantastic.” Bronze insisted to Carrot Cake and Cup Cake, the two bakers nervous as all Tartarus about his mom and aunt coming to Sugarcube Corner for the visit, to a point of having needled him constantly over every little thing, this last one was of the state of the exterior. Then again him being perched in Baby’s palanquin didn’t lend him an approachable presence, even if everypony already knew Baby was a big softy, you don’t just take out the intimidation factor of a 10 foot tall giant black panther.

“But our chairs can hardly accommodate you even with alterations.” Cup Cake reminded him, making Bronze grumble about his huge muscled plot making most any chairs far too small for him.

“Just put down a couple cushions, I’ll be fine you two. I’m not some pampered noble, or even royal. I’m glad just to have a cushion or two to rest my rear on.” Bronze insisted.

“Yeah! Bronzie is a big, buff, bad stallion~!” Pinkie gushed, as she pronked around, Pinka content to just stand next to her nervous aunt and uncle. “He’d probably sit in the dirt if it was soft.”

“Pinkie, being raised on a rock farm, I think our definition of soft is probably skewed.” Pinka commented. “After all, we consider Bronze’s rock-hard body soft.” Pinka casually said, making Bronze’s face glow a little red and ruffle his wings, his precious Baby chuffing and purring in amusement at her master’s embarrassment.

“Oh hush you!” Bronze hissed at his precious Baby.

“Where’s Fluttershy and Twilight? Everyone else is already inside.” Asked Rainbow Dash as she poked her head out the door. Indeed, everyone was already inside, enjoying some of the refreshments that were off to the side for everypony that weren’t the Princesses and Prince.

“They should be along Dashie, just have fun.” Pinka blandly said with a soft smile, and Dash shrugged before going back inside. “Relax aunt, uncle. The Princesses are very casual and nice ponies. They’ll love what we’ve done with the place.”

“Indeed we shall!” Declared Bronze’s mom from right next to him on the palanquin, getting him to yelp at her somehow sneaking up on him despite his Spacial Awareness, and instantly was pulled into a hug. “Son! Tis such a joy to see thee outside official matters or a crisis!” Luna gushed as she nuzzled her child, making Bronze puff up in joy and hug and nuzzle her back, getting a few aws out of the mares and a calm smile out of Mr. Cake.

“Now Luna, you could’ve waited a minute before drowning Bronze in affection.” Celestia teased her little sister with a beaming smile on her snout as the golden chariot that was ferrying the sisters touched down next to Baby, Tia levitating a seemingly empty gilded cage out of the chariot as a gray and black anteater waddled out of the chariot to follow her.

“Nonsense sister! Our only son deserves every ounce of our love whenever possible.” Luna stated before smooching him on the brow. “How have thou been son? Has the ponce been troubling thee? Thou has not come to us for sanity serum in near a week’s time.” Luna asked as she looked him in his pupiless swirl eyes with concern.

“He’s been eerily quiet lately. I’m a bit worried to be fair, but then again I have so much to be concerned about.” Bronze informed before he jumped to the ground, his mom joining him. “Mom, auntie, this is my precious daughter and familiar; Baby.” Bronze cooed her name, and instantly lurched into a hug around her neck, getting a rumbling purr to start up as she nuzzled his side. “I’ve had her since she was a kitten so small, she could sleep in the frog of my hoof.”

“She is so beautiful, and she loves you so dearly nephew.” Celestia commented as she approached the enormous panther. “May I?” She asked the gigantic feline, and she laughed as Baby answered by turning her head to her and licking Tia’s face. “Oh you are a loving one!” Tia gushed as she kissed Baby’s nose, and Baby nuzzled her back in response.

“Indeed she is. I have no fear of leaving her and Noodle to socialize.” Luna stated as she gestured for the anteater to approach, and he did so eagerly to snuffle up at Baby, who sniffed back, and proceeded to start grooming him. “They are friends already! Delightful!”

“U-um. Your Majesties, as enjoyable as this is, should we not move inside?” Mr. Cake asked nervously with a bow, and the royals all shrugged and nodded. “Right this way. We’ve spared no expense.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t have. We would appreciate anything somepony hosting us would put forth.” Celestia gently chastised with humor as she led the group inside. “Hello everyone! We’re here.” Celestia announced, getting everyone to greet them happily, aside from Gilda who looked nervous to have the mother and aunt of the stallion she tried to snog in the same room, but Rainbow’s possessive wing over her back helped her keep calm.

“This way dears.” Cup Cake kindly implored of the royals, taking Celestia’s open demeanor as a cue to relax around them, even if it felt odd, leading them towards a long table with plush velvet cushions just for them. “Would you like something specific?” Cup asked as Celestia, Luna, and Bronze sat down in their seats, the fact Bronze easily dwarfed both his mom and aunt felt a bit surreal since to everypony Celestia was the biggest pony since, forever.

“Would you have any nuts or seeds? Philomena could use a treat.” Celestia gestured to the empty cage as she summoned a stand for it, hanging it over the table to everyone save Luna’s confusion.

“Um...certainly Princess.” Cup trotted to the back to search for seeds and nuts.

“Tea Your Majesties?” Carrot Cake asked worriedly, and the three alicorns all nodded.

“Oh, wait, what kind is it?” Bronze asked, being a picky tea drinker.

“Earl Grey.” Carrot answered nervously, and Bronze shrugged.

“I prefer fruity or sweet teas, but I could go for a Grey. Fill me up.” Bronze urged, and Carrot filled their teacups before there was a bit of a commotion at the door. “Let them in colts, they’re friends.” Bronze casually called out with a roll of his swirly eyes, and shortly the pegasus guards who had taken post outside the door let Twilight and Fluttershy in.

“Oh my! Tis one thing to see her in magazines, but Fluttershy has truly become quite the beauty!” Luna proclaimed, and the buggy buttery mare blushed and hid behind her mane as Bubbles nickered in amusement next to her.

“Th-thank you princess. You look very pretty too. Have you done something with your mane?” Fluttershy managed to ask softly, looking at the swirling galaxies in the night princess’s mane with wonder. The varied shapes and colors of twisting, moving celestial bodies through her mane was mesmerizing.

“Not at all. It would seem the more settled into our power we become, the more beautiful we become.” Luna declared boastfully, getting Bronze to groan at hearing his mom talk about how attractive she was, but Tia instead snickered. “Oh? Tell us this is not true sister. Thou has become quite elegant and desirable in the time since Bronze’s arrival as well.”

“Sister, this is hardly acceptable conversation for a public venue with friends and children present.” Tia chastised weakly, since her face was still split with a beaming smile and barely contained laughter. “If you’re going to be so crude, need I mention the rumors spreading around the castle about you and captain-.”

“Silence!” Luna proclaimed defensively, her black cheeks tinted pink. “Th-there is no truth to those allegations!”

“Oh? Mom, am I going to have a new daddy soon?” Bronze teased, and Luna looked embarrassed, so he and Tia laughed and decided to drop it. “Now then, so Noodle looks adorable mom, but where’s Philomena auntie?” Bronze asked of the solar diarch, who flipped her pink sparkly mane out of her face and gestured towards the cage.

“She’s right here.” Celestia informed, and everyone paying attention, since most of the others had gone back to mingling, looked at the seemingly empty cage, and promptly cringed when a featherless sack of flesh with a beak climbed out of the tray of the cage and pathetically wobbled on the perch of the cage. “Philomena, say hello.”

The wretched coughing, hacking, wheezing and choking that came from the mutant naked chicken thing made everyone in the immediate area lean back aside from Celestia, who just behaved as if such a sickly thing was normal. “Oh...my….” Fluttershy gasped near inaudibly. “Is she okay?”

“Oh yes, Philomena’s just going through a bit of a cold. Here you go Philomena.” Celestia levitated the seeds and nuts Cup got for her up to the cage and dumped them directly into the monstrous bird’s beak. Said crime against nature swallowed everything whole, and then released a disturbing belch once the whole cup was gone.

“That thing makes Claydoll look normal.” The disturbed comment drew attention to the young griffon hen who had wandered away from the rest of the party. “Hey dad, thought I’d come see granny and grauntie.” Vivian casually stated, before yelping at being snatched up by Luna’s magic and being snuggled and smooched relentlessly. “Ah! Dad help! She’s gobbling me up~!” Vivian giggled and squealed as her adopted grandmother lavished her with affection.

“Little Robin! Thou hast been bested by Nightmare Moon! We declare thou shalt be made the royal snuggler!” Luna cheesed as she hugged and nuzzled her adorable griffon grandaughter, the two lapsing into a silent contention with everyone looking on smiling at the display.

“So nephew, I understand you’ve been dimension hopping?” Celestia asked around her sister and adopted grand niece.

“Oh yes. I was pulled from the shadow realm by Grauntie Rin, she helped me out by whacking Discord in the jewels a few times. Then, while waiting for mom, I got dumped out of the shadow realm in Nuada’s personal pocket dimension tree thing that I couldn’t leave from and had my powers suppressed. Spent about...I don’t know, six weeks training in martial arts and self discipline. Got pulled from that for a few moments by Rin and FINALLY found my best friend!” Bronze summarized, getting all kinds of happy at mentioning Konrad.

“Oh, you found your friend Konrad at last?” Celestia beamed at hearing her nephew reuniting with his friend, only to blink at seeing Blonze brush and tap his hooves together.

“Well, not really. He’s...changed.” Bronze hedged, hesitant to continue with his adopted daughter now chatting with Luna. “Let’s just say...SHE, is quite the...attention grabber.”

“Oh! Well...that’s...nice?” Celestia nervously commented as she too eyed Vivian. Gender changing wasn’t unheard of, but it was a mature topic. “Well at least you found her.”

“More like the multiverse decided to randomly dump us into a situation. But that aside...where’s Fluttershy?” Bronze asked, noticing the buggy mare had vanished, and Celestia gasped in shock.

“Philomena! Has anypony seen Philomena?!” Celestia called out with concern as she held up the open and empty cage.

“Oh no….” Twilight quietly connected the dots, and sent a gaze to Bronze, who caught it, and she flicked her eyes to the door as she used the slight panic of the room to leave as the guards had come in at their diarch’s distress.

“Everypony calm down!” Bronze called out calmly, getting everyone to stop frantically looking around for the mutant chicken. “I’m afraid we’ve had a misunderstanding. Auntie, is Philomena in that direction?” Bronze asked, pointing towards the direction of Fluttershy’s cottage.

“Yes. Now that I’ve calmed down, I feel her in that general area.” Celestia said as she closed her eyes, and snorted. “And she’s feeling quite amused. She’s not in danger then.”

“It would seem Fluttershy has had a lapse in judgement, believed Philomena was ill or something, and absconded with her to try and nurse her to health.” Bronze assumed, it was in the gentle mare’s character. “Let us return to our revelry friends.”

“Son, thine diction is slipping again.” Luna reminded him, and he blushed as she tittered. “Thou must speak so eloquently more often. Tis becoming.”

“Mom~....” Bronze whined, before rejoining everyone in the party. “So myself aside, what’s happening with you two?” Bronze asked once Vivian got bored and went back to her friends, still a cub even if she thinks otherwise.

“Well we have been quite busy son. The nobles have realized that We are not to be trifled with, and that their most precious secrets are not safe as they sleep.” Luna declared with a vicious grin. “Weeding out the corruption has been very therapeutic.

“But it has also left us with almost half the noble caste in prison and the rest too scared to voice their opinions.” Celestia groaned, rubbing her temples. “We’re currently replacing the former cabinet of advisors and the options are quite small.”

“Just put Fancy Pants and Compass Rose up and we’ll find other advisors later.” Luna rolled her eyes.

“Wow, I had no idea how corrupt your immediate support was.” Bronze stated with concern, and Luna leered at the bashful Celestia.

“SOMEpony was too content to turn a blind eye to the suffering of the peasants!” Luna growled as Celestia leered back.

“I already apologized. I can’t be everywhere at once like you sister.” Celestia reminded in what seemed to have become an old argument.

“Now, now. There’s no need for conflict in this time of joy.” Bronze interrupted, blushing as his mom tittered at his slip again. “I mean, we’re here for fun, right? Don’t get hung up on the bad things.”

“He’s right. Aside from the corruption, we’ve also been working on getting your cousin, Mi Amore Cadenza, up to speed on the politics of the nation so we could give her office over a region.” Celestia stated with visible pride and Luna nodded with a cheerful grin.

“Indeed, she is becoming quite capable of resolving conflict peacefully as well as finding unexpected solutions to problems. But We are still concerned that she believes getting them ‘hooked up’ with somepony else is the quickest way to turn them to her side of the argument.” Luna commented, and Bronze snorted in amusement at the idea of his cousin dragging a mayor’s secretary into the room and ordering them to go on a date.

“What about my other cousin?” Bronze was of course referring to Blueblood, the stallion directly descended from his aunt Tia.

“I’m afraid that he’s displayed a complete lack of desire for political power.” Celestia grumbled while Luna beamed.

“He has, upon my questioning of his dreams, decided to renounce all his noble status, and pursue his dream of sailing the skies across the world! Such an unexpected free spirit. We believe he’s currently off the coast of Canida, experiencing the sights of their gem mountains from the air and making bits helping ferry gems between towns.” Luna was obviously ecstatic about somepony following their dreams, but before Bronze could comment, an extremely loud screeching grated on their ears.

“What is that?!” Bronze asked as the building frantically emptied, and they all screamed at the sight of a bloated fleshy monstrosity towering over the Everfree, jiggling and bouncing as it made it’s shambling way towards Ponyville.

“It’s Philomena! Oh no, Fluttershy must have tried to bathe her and she decided to use it to her advantage!” Celestia declared with embarrassment that her Familiar had decided to go to such lengths for a prank.

Thankfully, before Philomena the godzilla-chicken could make it to town, she exploded quite anticlimactically into ash, making everyone gawk but Celestia who pouted at the giant cloud of ash spreading over town. “Uh...Auntie? I’m sorry about your Familiar….” Bronze said earnestly, only for Celestia to sigh.

“Philomena Harmonica Sol! You cease being such a cruel prankster and come here!” Celestia demanded furiously, and the massive ash cloud quickly shrank and coalesced into a beautiful sunfire phoenix, who looked rather ashamed and apologetic as Fluttershy and Twilight ran up to them in bafflement. “You apologize right now missy!” Celestia demanded of her Familiar, who then crooned towards Fluttershy and even landed on her back to nuzzle her head. “I am so sorry for any distress she may have caused you Kind Fluttershy.”

“What? Oh, no, she didn’t cause me much trouble at all. I was just surprised her plan for the creek was that big.” Everypony then gawked at hearing Fluttershy say she was willingly parcel to the prank, and the buggy mare squeaked with a grin at the phoenix, who then winged her raised hoof. “Gotcha.”

“...Well now...that was unexpected.” Bronze commented, before smiling at the success of the ‘fundate’.

Author's Note

Le GASP! I'm back? Hopefully? Life has settled down enough for me to get back to pones?
We'll see next time on Pony Ball Super~!

My House is Trying to Kill Me....

A dark room, completely dark save the slivers of evening daylight that managed to pierce the sanctuary of shadow through the thick black light-blocking curtains is where it all begins. This room, this simple ten-by-ten man-cave is where the most unassuming of all people resides.

*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Click.* The irritating high-pitched squeals of the glowing blue digital alarm are silenced swiftly and accurately with a fierce middle finger stabbing the small power button on the top with instinctive ease, and the massive hill under the blankets groans in dissatisfaction at being roused from it's dark, dreamless bliss.

“No...I don't wanna....” A deep, inherently loud voice mumbles, only to sigh and lift itself out of the bed, swinging legs over the side, easily avoiding the keyboard, mouse, tv remote, and gamepad all sitting precariously on the corner of the old queen-size bed with practiced lumbering grace.

Upon opening the door into the rest of the two-story house, the young man growls in irritation at the sunlight still lighting the empty home, hurting his eyes. “Damn sun...hate it....” It's literally only a few steps to the left to enter the ground-floor bathroom, and the young man lazily looks at himself in the mirror.

He's an overweight Caucasian man with long dirty-blond hair and dark blue eyes surrounded by dark rings courtesy of his nocturnal lifestyle and lack of sleep. His features would have been soft and gentle were it not for the natural frown marring his big mouth, and the scratchy full beard he sported from his hairline down his cheeks and all the way down his neck. He idly considered shaving today, before dismissing it as usual and going about his business.

After that, and feeding his three cats and three dogs, does the man return to his room to slump back onto the bed, sigh, and tap the power button on his keyboard, turning his gaming computer on, and then using the remote on the tv. For nearly four hours, all he does is play games, read, and watch random videos.

*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Click.* Sigh...second alarm dutifully warns him of his last hour of freedom before having to go back to his soul-crushing graveyard shift at a retail super chain that couldn't care less about him. “Don't want to work....ugh....” He spends the hour making breakfast, and taking several vitamins to compensate his lifestyle's lack of nutrition, before getting dressed in his army green cargo pants with too many pockets, bright orange “All-Mart” shirt and matching dark orange vest with the name Robinson on the left breast. He finishes off with a black pair of steel-toe work boots that he uses to compensate his inherent clumsiness in stubbing his toes, and for safety reasons.

“Ugh...over ten pounds of equipment for a crap job.” Mr. Robinson puts his wallet, smartphone, van keys, emergency sewing kit, spare button, and his box cutter all in strategic pockets for convenience and quick access, before he approaches his front door, which was actually on the side of the house, as the front door was actually a wrought-iron gate in the wall separating his side yard from the front yard. “Is it so much to ask for something new to...hap...shit.”

When Mr. Robinson opened his front door, he got a very big surprise. Instead of his filthy, junk-littered side yard lit by glorious moonlight or the nearby streetlight, he got a darkened all-wood interior entirely lit by moonlight through a few small round windows.

Being a rational, and completely overtly-calm person to intense situations, Mr. Robinson quite calmly closed the door, counted to three, and opened it again. When he saw the same result. He slammed it. “Nope! No! Not dealing with this!” He decided to test his “back door” which was really just a sliding glass door into the same yard, but from the patio. His cats all dodged him as he rushed the ten or so feet between doors and unlocked it, sliding it open to sigh in relief at the sight of the overflowing crowded work-space filled with random tools, pipes, and other junk his old father left lying around and never cleaned up even though he rarely did anything with the space. “Okay, let's just get...crap.”

Mr. Robinson just remembered; the sliding door cannot be locked from the outside. Not being one to take chances, he grumbled as he returned to the inside, closing the door and locking it with a sigh. His parents were out of town a couple states over, visiting his sister again. He took responsibility seriously, and this was his home too, so he wasn't going to leave it open for invaders, he had pets to protect! “So back door's out...ugh...I'll have to manually unlatch the garage door.”

Said door's electric opener had been without a working remote for years, and as such the family made due without out of habit. Being six-feet and three inches, as well as one of the strongest people he knew, it wasn't much an issue for Mr. Robinson to manually open and close the heavy door. He'd have to electrically open it first to set the latch in place for manual release however.

Crossing the house to the literal crossroads of his room, the bathroom, and the garage, he went left into the garage, and habitually hit the switch as he turned on the lights. The sight that greeted him however, was not his ugly old white camper van in the drive. Rather...it was a scenic sight that seemed to be from the side of a mountain, steeply overlooking a grand landscape of rolling plains, forests and what seemed to be a town in the distance.

“Oh...gog....” Mr. Robinson, seeing the garage as being an even more unfeasible means of escaping his home to head to work, pressed the button, and closed the door. Valiantly, he managed to remain calm as he turned the lights back off, and entered his home again. “Okay...okay...impossibly...no, no; those eggheads in the universities are always saying stuff like this is possible. So; improbably...my front door and garage door are now linked to alternate entrances and exits rather than their original simple locations in local space-time. I need to....” Mr. Robinson looked at the old clock above his parent's old television. “Crap...I'd be late if I left now anyway. I'll call out.”

Mr. Robinson called the 800 number for employees, and after a short automated process, Mr. Robinson was connected to his place of work, where he spoke shortly with his manager, who was quite displeased with Mr. Robinson's sudden case of “the runs” which he had a doctor's note to excuse as irritable bowel syndrome. He wasn't proud of it, but this was a serious issue that could not be verbally or even visually explained, so he had to lie, which always left a nasty taste in his mouth.

Once the call was over, Mr. Robinson neurotically rechecked the front and garage doors to confirm that, yes, they were still leading to the same places as before, that they should not be anyway. To further confirm his paranoia, he also checked all the other doors in his home. Quite distressingly, simply by pressing his ear to them he could tell; almost all doors besides the sliding glass door, his bedroom door, and his personal bathroom's door led someplace else. To ensure this stayed the same, he immediately removed his bedroom and bathroom doors by the hinges to try and feel a bit more secure in what was once his safe and simple home.

The “pet pantry” door next to his bathroom now opened into a deep and dark forest, which he promptly slammed shut, and pulled one of the shorter chairs in from outside under the knob to vainly hope nothing would come in. Thankfully however; he'd been too lazy to store his pet's canned food in the small former closet after his parents left yesterday, so they still had some food to live off of besides the bags of dry, which were now gone with the closet having been turned into a doorway to the wilds.

The crawlspace was similar, but wasn't nearly as foreboding. It opened to a view of a moonlit dirt desert, a familiar sight to the Mohave resident. This house was in Vegas after all, such a sight was practically soothing in this madness, but he still closed and locked the door with the originally poorly-chosen knob. He suddenly growled in anger; almost all his old VHS tapes were in that crawlspace!

His parent's bedroom upstairs was garnering plenty of attention from his three dogs, the two rat terriers Cuddles and Violet and the chihuahua Klingon were all scratching at it and whimpering. They often did this when his parent's were gone, but to be safe he ushered them all downstairs and used a baby gate to keep them out. He made sure none of the cats were upstairs before he slapped himself for his stupidity; he forgot his screwdrivers!

“And my kukri, need that too.” Mr. Robinson carefully stepped over the gate with his long legs, and got his screwdrivers, kukri, and hunting knife, each holstered to his belt loops...before thinking over it a second and grabbing his brother's gifted sword. It was a straight-edged stainless steel mass-produced piece of junk, but it was a sharp and surprisingly well-balanced weapon. He felt it's hand-wrapped cord was a necessary comfort as he unsheathed it, and opened the door, poised to stab since he felt paranoid about this door.

It opened to a surprisingly idyllic scene of a small cottage on the edge of some woods. It was hard to make out in the dark of night, but it seemed to be heavily decorated with bird houses and-. *ROAR!* A FUCKING LION JUST POPPED UP AND ROARED AT HIM! “AH~!” In a knee-jerk reaction, Mr. Robinson stabbed forward with the little sword skill he acquired from self-training and manuals with his eyes closed.

Because his eyes were closed, he didn't see the blade getting longer and generally bigger as it breached the threshold of the mysterious portal, stabbing clean into the beast's cheek, getting a yowl of pain before it turned and sprinted off with pathetic mewls of pain. Mr. Robinson pulled the sword back in, and opened his eyes. The sword was normal again and he noticed nothing aside from the fleeing lion's shape in the dark.

“Oh my gog! That was...that was a fucking novel experience!” He noticed the blood on the tip of his blade, glad he'd grabbed his brother's old sword rather than the cheaper curved one, as it would've been too short to reach. He quickly and skillfully flipped the knob so the lock was on the inside, and slammed the door before locking it...whatever comfort one and a half inches of corkboard could afford him against something like that anyhow....

“I knew I should've bought a gun....” Mr. Robinson bemoaned as he sighed, there were three more doors to check and knobs to flip.

The upstairs bath made him fall back in a gasp of horror, as it seemed to be literally in the air with the ground far, far below. The dead dark of night making it seem like a void in spite of the silvery clouds between the opening and the land below. Easily crumpling and giving in to his acrophobia, Mr. Robinson hyperventilated as he crawled away from the door of death, and whimpered for several minutes as the winds outside the door howled, before pulling on the door and slamming it shut to his relief.

Bad door. Death door. No touch.

He crawled pathetically down the stairs, knocked down the baby gate, and curled into a fetal position as his dogs all huddled around him, trying to comfort their panicking caretaker.

After about twenty minutes of recovery and crying as he hugged Cuddles; the old boy loved him so much, he got back up. Still two more doors to check, but if the next one opened into a pit of vipers or something so help him; he's condemning this place!

The guest room opened up into a frozen wasteland. To Mr. Robinson's viewpoint; it was one of the most beautiful sights he'd ever seen. If he was more adventurous or daring, he'd have even gone through to enjoy the freezing cold he only got to experience once before in his life on the east coast, but sighed before flipping the knob and locking the door.

He turned left to the last door; his father's office.

Really, with his father's multiple strokes and his complete lack of business ethic, it wasn't so much his office as it was a hideaway where his old man could pretend to be decades younger than he was, trying to ply his so-called trade in precious metals. All they ever got out of it was a safe filled with useless silver and gold coins that were more trouble than they were worth.

He really hoped against hope his suspicions weren't true and the room was untouched as he opened it, only to groan at seeing it open into a dark cave barely lit by glowing mushrooms and oddly luminescent gemstones. “If it's not lions, it's heights, and if not heights; dark spooky caves. What went wrong with my life?”

Mr. Robinson wasted no time in flipping the knob and locking the door. His paranoia and rather good nightvision was telling him something was watching him in there, and he didn't want to know what.

After all that stress, and the panic attack, Mr. Robinson decided he needed a good, long, moonlit break. He grabbed his SD3, went out the patio door, and began a couple hours of solid gaming in his favorite easy chair under the moon.

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“Damn it....” Mr. Robinson growled as he snapped his handheld game system shut for failing to capture a legendary creature for the fifth time in a row. “I'll have to level up more...again.” He sighed as he looked up at the full moon. It was a Mega Moon tonight, being closer to the earth on it's elliptical orbit, making the pale silver orb gloriously big. Mr. Robinson grinned as his concerns seemed to melt away at the sight of his favorite celestial body. “Ah, Luna...you grace us unworthy ants with your beauty once more.”

Mr. Robinson was nocturnal, mostly by choice, but also by lack of employment opportunity. Pretty much any day job he applied for turned him down, so he'd been stuck working for All-Mart for years as their graveyard slave. The only solace was he hated the sun, bright lights in general, crowds, and people in general. So, really, being nocturnal was the natural choice. Only anti-social crazies like him enjoyed the night like this; alone, peaceful, looking at a buxom naked woman in his patio doorway-WHAT THE FUCK?! “AH!” Mr. Robinson yelped in a rather unmanly fashion considering his deep voice and fell backwards.

“Hey! Are you okay?” The woman's voice was surprisingly high-pitched and squeaky in an adorable fashion, but that didn't matter to him as he jumped to his feet and drew his knife.

“Who are you?! What're you doing in my house!?” He demanded loudly as he approached, knife pulled back slightly for a lunge if necessary. The woman was clearly frightened as she gasped and tried to back away, but yelped as she tripped over her own legs, falling to the tile floor of his dining room with a grunt. He couldn't help but notice her head-sized chest melons wobbling and quaking like jello. For some reason, he felt such a description would be a compliment to her.

“Oh~! This weird body is so imbalanced! I mean, why do these things have to be here?” She asked as she sat up, and began massaging her big pale pink mams, her pink nipples getting erect from the stimulation. Mr. Robinson quickly looked away, his mom didn't raise a neanderthal.

“M-ma'am I need to ask you to leave and...stop doing that in my dining room....” 'Oh gog this is nerve wracking! If she was a dude I'd just knock him out and call the cops, but she's a woman and women are to be respected, and treated properly....' Mr. Robinson sighed before he sheathed his knife, and took off his 4X store-issued vest to throw at her without looking. “P-put that on! You're indecent!”

“How? I'm not flashing you my pussy am I?” The dull woman asked, which he grit his teeth with a blush at, trying in vain to ignore that she WAS with her wide hips and healthy thick thighs leaving her groin visible!

“YES! Now put it on!” Mr. Robinson demanded as he kept his gaze away yet kept her in peripheral. He looked back to her when he heard her zip it up, and had to fight a boner; it made it worse!

“How is it?” She asked curiously, her huge mams actually filling the large vest that could accommodate his girth easily in the chest, making it hang over her trim waist, just further accentuating the size of her breasts and drawing even more attention to her shapely lower body. And that wasn't mentioning the cleavage either, or that her huge nipples were poking through the polyester fabric.

“J-just! Get out! Out!” He shouted, getting her to cringe and he finally noticed her hair when it seemed to lose volume. It was.... “Pink? And curlier than Aunt Jessie?” He blinked, and then backed away warily. “What door did you come in through?”

“Uh, the library's closet door; duh?” She replied smartly, this weird guy was a real meanie-pants, which fit since he actually wore pants.

“Wait, so you're from the place my front door leads to now?” Mr. Robinson asked as he warily backed away towards his front door, and looked at it to see it was wide open, the dark space beyond still being that of inside a wood building. “Library?”

“Yeppers!” The woman jumped as she wobbled over to him, making him nervous as she tripped and he caught her by instinct, accidentally feeling her up to his shame. “Whoops! Sorry, not used to just two legs, he-he!”

“What do you mean by that?” He asked as he finally looked her in the eyes. They were a captivating light blue, filled with mirth and life like he'd never seen in anybody before.

“I'll show you! C'mon!” She grabbed his right arm and began dragging him, but he was easily half a foot taller and a couple hundred pounds heavier as he planted his boots and stopped her dead.

“In there!? No! I don't know what's in there! For all I know you're some sort of alien about to abduct me through a false sense of security! Using my weakness for beautiful women and women in general against me!” He tried to pull his arm free, but her grip was shockingly strong, and she smiled gently at him, getting him to pause.

“Just trust me, 'kay? You'll be fine.” Her smile didn't falter, her optimism didn't waver.

She was like him when he was a stupid teenager too happy and ignorant to know better.

He took a step.

Then another.

Until finally he was at the threshold, breathing heavily as he broke out in a cold sweat. He'd never done something so STUPID as this! “I hope I don't regret this....”

“You won't!” The pink-haired woman giggled as she pulled him through.

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A giant lump under a large blanket shifted with a snort and a groan rang out in protest of leaving the lovely grasp of sleep. He instinctively reached out for where his alarm usually was, only to feel just the post of a headboard. “Ugh...did I sleep backwards on my bed again? What happened last night? And why's it so bright?” Mr. Robinson got out from under the covers, looking around in confusion at the purely wooden décor. “...Definitely not my room. I have cherry wood furniture, not oak. Or oak walls....”

He got up, staggering as he felt oddly out of sorts, like he had two left feet, and he could barely feel the floor. “Mm...must've slept in my boots again.” He bent over to take them off, only to freeze. His feet were gone.

“AH~!” 'FREAK-OUT TIME! Dimensional doorways in my house I was SORT of okay with, but no feet?!' He frantically looked at the solid black hooves that replaced his feet, and the russet red fur covering his arms and chest. 'Mirror! MIRROR!' He lumbered clumsily over to the nearest doorway, so glad that when he opened it that it led to a normal bathroom and not some gog forsaken wasteland or something. He had to really lean down to get through the small door, and pretty much kneel to get a look at himself.

He was RIPPED! His once fat barrel shaped body was now shaped like a rippling muscular t-bone steak, fitting since he seemed to be a minotaur for whatever reason. His fur from waist up was russet red, but a familiar dark blond shaggy fur coated him waist down, thankfully hiding his privates, he'd get to that later. His leg's joints were more complicated, but he felt normal moving them as if he were still human, so aside from the hooves; he was fine with it. The short cow tail from just above his buttocks was irritating though.

He still had all five fingers thank goodness, and aside from all that, his head was now completely different as he had two upward curved horns on either side of his head, and his hair was still a shaggy mop of dirty blond, but now cascaded down his upper back like a proper mane. It was going to be HELL getting the knots out! Also, his snout was devoid of fur thankfully as he licked his lips and snout experimentally, yet opened wide to see he still had canines. Fitting, since in myth minotaurs ate meat too, but preferred a vegetarian diet.

Thankfully he didn't have to shave his face ironically; the beard and mustache were all gone, at least something aside from the loss of fat came from all this madness. “Fucking...metal.”

“That sounds painful!” The squeaky voice from before intoned from the open doorway.

“AH!” Mr. Robinson shouted as he jolted away from the source.

“AH! Yourself! But that's not what I'm here for silly~! Heh, heh!” He was expecting the excessively busty pink-haired woman, but instead he saw what seemed to be a very, VERY small pony of impossibly pink coloration. Her voice and hair matched, but it was her eyes that sold him. There could be no-one else with eyes like those, so filled with life.

“Are you...the woman who invaded my home?” Mr. Robinson asked curiously, and the tiny pink mare bounced as she nodded.

“Yeppers! I don't know why I turned into whatever that “woman” thing you say is, but that was me! I'm not usually so...bulgy, but I'm glad to meet you, and become friends! I'm Pinkie Pie! Who're you?” The now named Pinkie Pie asked as she leaned towards the fresh minotaur, eager to get his name, and he smiled, her behavior reminding him of when life was so simple, so free.

“Anthon Robinson.” He held his hand out to her, and she gladly put her hoof in it to shake. “Pleased to meet you.”

Author's Note

Could. Not. RESIST! I had to commit one of the worst fan-fic sins ever because this concept would NOT leave me alone!

Anthon Robinson is based entirely upon me, based on how I believe I would behave in given circumstances. You get to know if I'm a complete asshat now XD

Gods and Mortals

Bronze snorted as he woke up, not opening his eyes as he realized that whatever he was laying on, it was soft~ beyond belief. He groaned in content as he hugged something warm and firm to his chest. It was then that he paused, and cracked open an eye in confusion. The room he was in was in dark tones, the ceiling seemed to be a spot-on portrayal of the night sky, and he could see a closed set of double-doors with glass windows letting him see it was a balcony. Overall, the room screamed opulence and nobility. 'Right, Luna offered a cozy bed, I accepted. But Luna wanted to hear more about my world, we chatted and...uh-oh....'

Bronze carefully tilted his head to look past his snout, and he sighed quietly through his nose. 'Yep....' He was cuddling the absolutely adorable Princess Luna, who was snuggling into his chest. The tiny alicorn was all-too-content to continue sleeping and Bronze couldn't bring himself to dislike the situation, and smiled before he decided to go back to sleep. His reasoning being the princess needed her rest, what with having been through a very cruel ordeal the past millennia. However, he was jerked awake when he realized something.

Luna was growing. Seriously, like as in rapidly aging type of growing.

Bronze watched in awe as the tiny filly, within the span of possibly a half-hour, went from the size of a filly, to almost Celestia's size. Bronze wasn't really wondering why, or how, but in that she seemed to definitely be Tia's sister now. At this change, Bronze blushed when she mumbled in her sleep and wrapped her forelegs around his torso to hug him tighter while she nuzzled his chest. 'Whoa...she's...gorgeous. So elegant, and still maintains her adorable qualities from before.' Bronze grinned as he simply relaxed again, rolling onto his back, Luna mumbled as she shifted to be laying her head on his chest, and he sighed, so comfortable.

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“Wake up Bronze.” At the familiar, yet gentler husky voice, Bronze opened his eyes wearily to see the adult Princess Luna looking down at him with a soft smile. “You slept well.” Luna teased, her tone light.

“Mmph...bed soft...mare snuggly....” He managed to grunt out, getting a grin and blush out of the lunar alicorn, who giggled at the simple explanation.

“Well, tis good to know that I am so snuggly. I have not had the pleasure of sharing a bed before, and I must say, that sleep is quite more refreshing when shared with another.” Luna admitted as she stood on the bed, and stretched her whole body like a cat or dog, which made Bronze chuckle at how cute it was. “As it is, I apologize. You slept the whole night, straight through the next day into the next night. Whatever caused it, it must've also been what caused my rapid return to my proper form. My power has yet to finish recovering however.”

Bronze groaned in annoyance. “All that effort to return to being diurnal, ruined by a good snuggle and returning to nocturnal.” He then chuckled as he sat up. “Would me being allied with the Night, and a worshiper of the Moon have anything to do with this?”

Luna perked at his words, her wings flaring for a moment in excitement. “You mean...you really ARE a worshiper of the Night? My Moon?”

Bronze blinked. “Yeah. I was back in my world, and our night and moon are nowhere near as beautiful as it is here.” Bronze was shocked when Luna squealed in delight, and pounced him to the bed with a hug.

“Thank you so much! It is wonderful to know at least one loves the night so! If only you had been here a thousand years ago! Perhaps...perhaps then my jealousy would not have been so great, that my inner darkness would have taken over.” Luna nuzzled his cheek, and Bronze blushed. That wasn't just an innocent nuzzle.

“Um...you're welcome. You deserve adoration for such a glorious feat. I know for fact that at most; half of my world's population is awake at night. The half the “normal” people forget, or don't care about. The half that work thankless jobs so the sun-lovers don't have to....” Bronze growled, and Luna hugged him a little tighter.

“Don't think like that...that way leads despair.” Luna warned seriously. “I would know. I was possibly the only one who was always awake during the night. I ran the country in the shadows, my spies and guards protecting us. Yet...nopony cared. They only saw Tia. They only saw the sun.” Luna sighed, sniffling. “Why must us creatures of the night suffer so?”

“We suffer, so the creatures of the day don't have to.” Bronze restated, this time with some conviction, getting Luna to smile as she nuzzled into his mane and sniffed. 'Is she...scenting me?'

“I am glad to have such a friend.” Luna let go of him and used her wings to rise from the bed and glide to the gilded obsidian doors inlaid with silver crescent moons that he didn't see before from facing the balcony and ceiling each time he was awake. “Well, there's no getting to sleep after all the rest you've gotten, so why not join me for a tour of the castle? Only my guards are up at night, so we won't have any of those uninteresting stone-faced white stallions to ignore.”

“White stallions?” Bronze asked as he got out of the bed, and follow the now full-grown mare through the doors. She was only slightly shorter than Tia, but he sensed somehow that wasn't right. She was still missing something. 'She said her power hasn't returned...that would explain why her hair isn't all ethereal like Tia's...maybe....'

“Yes. My sister's Solar Guard and Royal Guard wear enchanted armor that cast an illusion over them, making them all seem to be the same pure-white stallion with blue hair and pale blue eyes. Personally, I feel it is my sister's rather shameful desire to have an ideal image of her “preferred” stallion to ogle while she goes about her duties. However, I see the advantage of such a thing, as any would-be criminals cannot identify which guard is who. It creates confusion and dissuades potential crimes if the criminal cannot say whether or not a guard was the witness in court.” Luna beamed. “So....”

Bronze noticed that every guard they passed was a dark ashen gray, their eyes amber with slits like his blue slitted ones, and they all had purple hair. Also their ears had cute tufts on the ends of them, and the pegasi had bat wings rather than normal wings. “Cool...but...doesn't this mean that you....” Bronze alluded to what she said before about her sister's guards, and Luna shamelessly grinned with a blush, and Bronze laughed loudly. “Luna, we are going to be such good friends.”

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After Luna stopped by the armory on their tour and got one of her old black peytrals inlaid on the chest with a familiar crescent moon, black set of shoes and her dark tiara, she guided him through the rest of the castle, gladly informing him of the ancient history she was more familiar with than the recent which he was earnestly interested about and asked more of. Bronze was a student of history, and loved lore both factual and fictional, something Luna shared with him, hoping to chat about even older history from even before her and Tia's births.

It was during the tour however, that the two finally succumbed to their rumbling tummies, and made a raid on the royal larder, considering that a fully-staffed night shift hadn't been put in place yet, so there was no cook on hoof to prepare something. It was hilariously, half-way through a wheel of cheese, that Luna commented on the lack of meat in the larder. “Tis a shame! Once, we curried favor and hosted the carnivores and omnivores of the world often enough we had the luxury of butchered fare to nibble on, even if ponies would turn green at the sight of it.”

“I know; there's nothing here but vegetables, fruits, heavy grains, starches, and preserves.” Bronze idly complained since his new friend had deigned to before him. “There aren't even any nuts, berries, or even proper leafy greens like spinach, Brussels sprouts, or lettuce. How do you ponies live on such a mundane pallet?” Bronze decided however, to give some daisies a try, and winced at how surprisingly sickly-sweet they were. And he liked sweet things.

“I must confer with my sister on this matter. I refuse to live in a castle so poorly staffed, defended, or poorly stocked. I'll have to move out, even a normal home is fine in comparison so long as a nearby restaurant exists to satisfy my tastes.” Luna huffed in agreement, before frowning at the distressingly large amount of space devoted to holding and magically preserving CAKE! “And the efforts she goes to in order to fulfill her obsession with cake...disgusting. No wonder sister has gained so much weight. She wears it well, but she's lost her svelte form I once shared with her.” Luna stood from her plate, and gestured to herself with a hoof to point out her tight and fit body, which Bronze nodded in agreement with.

“Yeah, Tia looks great, but she could definitely afford to lose some weight.” Bronze didn't notice his rhyme for a few seconds, but it reminded him of some things. “Oh fudge!” Bronze shouted, startling his royal friend. “I forgot my tanned manticore hide at Zecora's!”

“Thou hast slain and harvested a regal beast for it's body? That is impressive friend. It is good to see you indulging in your new people's pastime.” Luna commented, and this made Bronze groan as he remembered something else.

“I've got to harvest that hydra I killed! It's been laying in that field for two days now, and Mayor said she'd have it dragged into the Everfree if I didn't do anything with it soon. Only I know nothing of harvesting from a hydra, I've only just learned from Zecora about manticores alone, and...ugh....” Bronze rubbed his face in worry, as while he had no love for that monster, he didn't just want to leave it to rot. It did put up a good fight after all.

“Friend, if all this is so, then I shall lend you my skill!” Luna beamed as she spread her wings in excitement. “It has been far, far too long since I have gotten my hooves bloody, and if you don't mind my rusty skills damaging some things, all I ask in return is some of the bones for use in my forging. Hydra bones make excellent hilts and other things for weapons and armor.”

“You're a blacksmith Luna? Luna, kiss me you perfect mare, because if you get any more attractive I'll have to proclaim my love for you.” Bronze joked with a laugh, and he didn't see the princess's wings go ridged and her face light up with red. She recovered as fast as she could though, avoiding him seeing her flustered. “Of course, I'd love to have your help, but we'll have to pester Zecora. I don't want to leave her out.”

“O-of course! I would be glad to meet this friend of yours.” What Luna didn't mention was she wanted to meet the female that made Bronze get that obvious look in his eyes. Also, if she was a skilled hunter, she might be able to arrange hunting parties, something the ponies of this day and age seemed to have completely forgone.

“Then let's finish up here and go. Zecora seems the night-owl to me, and if not I don't think she'd mind.”

[@]

“Are you certain of this?” Luna asked as the dark carriage drawn by a couple of her thestral guards landed quietly like whispers in front of the library.

“It's fine. I have no idea where my parents are staying right now, or what's going on at home at all. But Twi told me I have free access to the library at all hours to use my front door. Something about my magical signature being tied into the security she'd set up, and I don't want to worry Fluttershy should we wake her somehow. She's too skittish for something like...this.” Bronze gestured to her guards. “No offense.”

“None taken. We get that a lot. It's why we're primarily nocturnal.” One of the guards responded. Apparently, the thestrals were the few members of the Night Guard not under illusions aside from color changes. They were omnivores with a taste for blood, and that combined with their naturally intimidating visage led a social stigma of irrational fear against them. So, with their natural night vision, they pretty much all went nocturnal to help avoid discrimination, even if it only worsened their images, they couldn't care less after countless generations of scorn.

“Thank you good sirs. You may return, I shall make my own way.” Luna dismissed, and with a couple of confirming nods, they took off after their passengers got out. “So...I get to see your home.” What Luna was implying was that to take a mare into his home was an immense display of intimacy and trust, usually only extended to close friends or potential mates. At least, that was how it worked back in her era.

“At night, yes. I'll let you see the night sky while we're passing through. I want to know what you think, beings you are THE authority on the night.” Which, of course, flew clear over Bronze's high-up head, getting Luna to feel just a little disappointed, but she didn't show it. “Now...where's that key....”

It only took a few minutes, but eventually Bronze found the spare key to the front door of Golden Oaks in a fake rock, and they quietly soft-hooved their way upstairs and to the mahogany Doorway. “Tis a beautiful door. Mahogany is such a regal wood.” Luna whispered in approval, making Bronze smile.

“Thanks. I was the one who bought it. Against my mom's wishes, but she loved it in the end.” Bronze opened the door...only to worryingly see just a closet. “Okay...I...wait.” Instead of panicking, Bronze closed the door gently, and softly knocked two times. Shortly, the door was opened by Jeeves, who bowed and opened the door off to the side.

“Welcome home sir. And welcome to you as well madam.” Bronze smirked at this new development. It would seem Jeeves was a built-in security system of sorts. Unless he welcomed those at the Doorways, they would lead nowhere from the Equestrian side.

“Brilliant, at least now it's more unlikely for someone to just waltz into my home on accident. Thank you for standing vigil Jeeves, even if you almost worried me there.” Bronze entered, becoming his human-like self.

“I must inform you that Lord Robinson and Lady Robinson have befallen a rather mixed fortune.” At this, Bronze paused in the Doorway, and Luna looked on in concern as Bronze gestured for his golem to continue. “It would seem that, since their original forms were too damaged to safely transition back to, that they have been granted alternate forms such as you sir.”

“Oh! So they're still healthier over here now? That's great! It also means they can maybe interact with our world while still transitioning to Equestria. Gog knows, they can't imagine abandoning my siblings. Thank you for telling me Jeeves. Come on in Luna.” Bronze forgot to mention to intend her armor to be concealing, but she'd already stepped through, and his nose promptly erupted in a gush of blood that threatened to choke him, and he spat up gobs of dark blood to the side.

“Bronze! Art thou well?!” Luna asked worriedly as she approached, but stopped when he held his hand up for her to stay back. Luna was, in a word; glorious. She was easily shaped like Applejack and Zecora in the size of her assets and curves, yet unlike them she had a less muscular yet firm and supple tone, and stood a foot taller at around 7 feet, which made sense as she was now much larger than them as a pony too. Her armor at least covered her nethers and nips, but that was pretty much it.

It was like she was wearing a metal bikini, silver crescent moons over where her nipples were, and she had black armor boots on which completely contrasted with the utter lack of everything else. It was probably because the Doorway had so little to work with and she hadn't thought of being conservative. “I...am fine. Not as fine as you, but fine. You didn't think of your apparel being conservative, so you're quite provocatively garbed right now.”

Luna blushed as she looked down at herself. She was a snowy pale toned woman with huge angelic dark wings, and a long dark blue horn of the same hue coming up from her forehead, helping hold up her tiara. Her long lighter blue hair cascaded down like a waterfall of shimmering locks. “Oh...these are teats then? Why are they up here? Would they not be in the way? At least for minotaurs and centaurs I can understand, but with such unsteady legs and no tails, they are quite impractical.”

“Yeah, pretty much everypony who comes through asks that. I don't know, don't care, they're attractive since they've been part of our race's physiology since we started out. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to clean up my mess.” Jeeves had already moved to mop up the blood, and Bronze went to the bathroom to rinse out the blood from his nasal cavity and mouth/throat.

Meanwhile, Luna looked around his house in awe of the modern design and unfamiliar gadgetry of the TV in the living room and appliances in the kitchen. But, she could not hold off her curiosity as she wandered out the boggling sliding glass door, which Jeeves was all-too-kind to open for her upon her trying to figure it out without breaking it. What she saw was disappointing.

A blinding light beaming upward from somewhere relatively nearby was illuminating the cloud cover overhead to the point where the sky was completely concealed. With a glow of her horn and a wave of her hand, the clouds overhead rapidly dissipated into a sudden downpour, and after several seconds of the flash-flood inducing deluge, what she saw further disappointed her. “Why is the moon so small? The stars so dim?”

Luna knew of how light pollution weakened her star's lights, and it was one of the few things that made ponies' dismissal of her night a very small blessing. Again, Luna's horn shimmered, and she gestured to the moon as if grabbing it, and when she pulled her hand towards her, the moon obeyed eagerly. The heavenly body which she unknowingly shared her name with, drew closer to the Earth than it ever had in it's existence save for when it was once part of the planet so, so incredibly long ago. The half-moon seemed to shine brighter, as if it was happy with it's new, more intimate closeness with it's older sister.

Luna smiled at the silvery orb's approval, and was about to do something about the stars when Bronze suddenly grabbed her wrist and forced it down to her shock at his horrified expression. “What did you DO?!”

“W-what do you mean? I just-.”

“PUT IT BACK! Who knows what effect that'll-.”

“Too late sir!” Jeeves reported from inside, the news on, broadcasting loudly over the speakers. “You must see the ramifications of Madam Luna's actions before you do anything else!”

Bronze pretty much dragged the worried and confused princess inside by the wrist, hurting her as he nearly sprinted her into the living room to see an NBC emergency live broadcast. “-It is unknown what has caused the moon's rapid approach to the planet, but as of this time, astronomers can not conclude if it is getting any closer, or if it is now maintaining it's new perilous orbit....” The anchor waited a few moments to read the feed before continuing, remaining serious and dutifully calm in spite of the circumstances as his duty required. “We are getting live feeds of coastal disasters springing up world-wide, all coastal cities get to high ground and evacuate immediately. Tidal waves and flash floods incoming. Already getting reports of confirmed tidal waves heading for cities such as San Francisco, Tokyo, New York, Tampa, Miami-.”

“Oh God....” Bronze uttered in horror as he collapsed to the couch, clutching his head trying not to panic as Luna covered her mouth and she began to cry in absolute mortification of what she'd done.

“W-why? Why is this happening? Whenever I changed position of the moon back home-!”

“THIS ISN'T YOUR HOME!” Bronze screamed at her, not regretting it as she flinched away at his fury, his voice loud enough to rival the Royal Canterlot Tone. “YOU'VE DOOMED MILLIONS TO DIE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!” He hyperventilated, and looked to Jeeves, who seemed knowledgeable of things. “Jeeves, if she puts it back-.”

“It is too late sir. The damage is done. Even is she were to put it back it would actually worsen things. As it stands, there will simply be a massive change in the tides, a slight change in the Earth's gravity, and only a single upsurge in these tragedies. Good news however sir; with the moon's new position, the occurrences of these waves will drastically decrease by a markedly high margin. So to say; she's rather saved the world from a long-drawn out series of disasters with one world-spanning one. Projections of recovery state that the loss of life will actually positively effect the overall world economy and international unity to recover the losses. Speeding humanity's progress by perhaps several decades.”

They both took this in, and Bronze sighed despondently. “Luna...just don't do that again. Don't concern yourself over it. At least none of my family live on the coasts aside from Grandpa Robinson in Clearwater, but he's visiting the old family home in Missouri right now. I know it's selfish of me to ignore the lives of millions...but...it isn't my place to judge.”

“What do you MEAN it isn't?! You're practically the ambassador for this world to ours and I just...I just....” Luna broke down as she collapsed into the couch, sobbing.

“Cry it out Luna. Because there's no words for this. Nobody will ever know, or believe you did this on this side. So I'll keep quiet about it. I'm a cold and calculating man Luna, so I can forgive this once. You aren't a terrible person, you just made a mistake. Just...give me a moment to adjust.” Bronze meditated as Jeeves fetched some tea and comfort food from the kitchen, they'd both be needing it.

[@]

When they exited the Doorway in the rear of Zecora's hut, Bronze was stone-faced and suitably calm as he'd deadened his emotions like he usually did in response to tragedies, while Luna's eyes were bloodshot, her voice hoarse, her fur around her eyes and nose sopping as she sniffled and still let out some tears. “Let it go Luna. Just be glad you weren't at full power, so our moon; Luna, didn't get some other magical property aside from a new luster.”

“I envy and also pity you Bronze...to be so cold and heartless where it counts...you'd have been a deadly adversary 1700 years ago during the wars with Bullgaria.” Luna laughed with a hitch in her voice, her attempt at levity falling short. “You won't tell Tia? Anypony?”

“You have my word, on my honor and my name Luna, that this horrible circumstance is to be swept under the rug and forgotten by all but us.” Bronze stated, meaning every word of it. “Now, c'mon. We have a lot of work to do, and it will help to keep you occupied with something.”

Luna sniffed again with a nod as they circled around to the front door, where Bronze knocked politely. Shortly, Zecora answered the door, looking both surprised and pleased to see Bronze, but purely confused at the sight of Luna. “What has happened might I ask, to cause this one enough tears to fill a flask?”

“It is a private issue that is nobody's concern save her own Zecora.” Bronze stated with a sad tone, letting the mare know that to pry would be a very bad thing.

“Apologies, would some Zebrican tea put you at ease?” Zecora asked, getting shakes of negatives from both of them, they'd already imbibed nauseating amounts of their favorite teas trying to drown out the guilt and despair they'd felt. “I see, it is not something to solve with tea.”

“It is something that cannot be solved, or forgiven. But I shall live with it, as I must for all things.” Luna stated sorrowfully. “Fair Zecora of lands away, I come to seek your company this day.” Zecora perked up at Luna forcing an effort of rhyming, and she smiled at the gesture.

“It is good to see I am aware, that even to mares I do seem fair. I shall gladly do what I must, to help fix your mood from bust.” Zecora gestured for them to enter, and they graciously accepted. “So what sort of company do you seek, just know that my preferences are far from meek.”

“Actually Zecora, allow me to properly introduce you. This is Princess Luna, Mistress of the Night, Mare of the Moon, and Lady of the Stars.” Bronze waxed poetic, getting the depressed mare to titter slightly and smile.

“I am helping dear Bronze with processing the hydra he's slain a couple days ago. However, I am out of practice, and having an extra pair of experienced hooves would be appreciated.” Luna explained, and Zecora practically lit up in excitement.

“Truly? You have slain a hydra Bronze? I shall have to hear the tale as we work, for the corpse is getting far too cold. Hurry, we haven't time to lose!” Zecora forwent her rhyming in excitement as she quickly gathered her things.

“We'll be bringing it to the clearing nearby Zecora, so don't bother packing too much.” Bronze informed, and Zecora actually seemed to be dancing a bit in joy. Just what is making her so happy?

[@]

“...Wow....” The explanation for why Zecora was so elated was rather suitable for her excitement. Apparently, hydras have special glands that allow rapid regeneration and duplication of cells, which was why they regrew and added heads as a defense mechanism if they were up against something much larger with sharp claws, such as something called an ursa, or a dragon. Zecora also knew of a special ritual that would allow said glands to remain fresh, and continue to produce their special restorative secretion which worked with ANY living cells, making them the ultimate healing poultice ingredient, as raw and straight the secretion was too potent for non-reptilian creatures, causing cardiac arrest, brain failure, or any number of complications.

It was also highly addictive, making it illegal in most countries.

However, Luna was aghast at the idea. When used in the poultices and potions Zecora was describing, this single ingredient was the key thing in them saving lives. She was going to have a good, long talk with her sister about legalizing the use of “hydra” in the manufacture of potions and healing salves.

After helping Zecora secure the three orange glands in her storage room where they would drip their special fluids into collection flasks, they set about skinning sections of the monster's scaly hide, using a similar process as with the manticore hide, but with added steps which Luna hastened with her magic as the usual process would take a whole day at least.

First they soaked, or as Luna called the spell: quenched, the large sections of orange scale hide, cleaning them, and then went about liming and deliming them using the necessary ingredients that Luna summoned from her old forge. Then to finish off the process, she cast some old favorite spells she'd made that pickled and chromed the flesh, before they put them through another rinse and left them out for a final dry on some carved poles.

“Pfft, and you said you were rusty.” Bronze said as he wiped blood off his hands. While Zecora and Luna were tanning, he'd continued to root about the creature's corpse, hacking off sections of meat for preserving which he was told was safe for consumption, and also avoiding the poison glands he recognized thanks to having seen the one Doctor Hoarse had removed from the manticore as he harvested the organs. He had plans for that poison, but he'd need a doctor's surgical knowledge to remove something that volatile that wasn't as benign as the ones they'd harvested for Zecora from the bases of the necks of the thing.

“In fact I am Sir Brave! Twas once a time I could boast accomplishing such a feat within mere minutes rather than hours! Still, twas a wonderful tanning, and I hath found myself at ease despite earlier events.” Luna beamed, some of her grace and poise returned to her from the cathartic activity.

“This amazes me princess. I had not known the Star Maiden was one for honest, grim work.” Zecora stated with a smile, likewise not caring for the blood spattering her, as Luna was also covered in various bodily fluids from the activity and not caring either.

“My very existence had fallen to folklore in the time I had been gone, I am surprised your people still remember me at all.” Luna stated with joy as the first rays of morning began peaking through the trees. “Oh dear! I hath forgotten!” Luna looked up to the sky, and rapidly moved her namesake across the sky and below the horizon in a smooth arc around the planet. “T'would seem my sister has awoken. I must return to her.”

“Luna.” Bronze said seriously and clearly, getting the mare's attention. “Remember, you don't have to tell her anything if you don't want her to know. Just being sisters doesn't mean she's entitled to know everything you've ever done wrong.” Bronze looked her in the eyes, and Luna felt...calm. At peace. Something she hadn't felt in so, so very long. She didn't know what about him incited such a sensation, but she smiled genuinely.

“Thank you.” She said simply, and then teleported home, leaving Zecora to raise an eyebrow at her balrog friend.

“If I were not aware, I'd say that such a flirt was quite the dare.” Zecora knew that he wasn't trying to worm his way into the princess's heart, and was genuinely trying to help her like a true friend, but Zecora couldn't help but feel that Bronze would likely develop more than mere platonic feelings for the alicorn considering how deep their interactions were.

“She needs help Zecora. Help I'm going to give her the best I can as her friend. I messed up, big time, and now so many are paying for it. What that means I will not elaborate on, for I swore I would never tell what she's done. Just know; never ask, and respect her desire for privacy.” Bronze looked away from where Luna had vanished to his zebra friend, and he looked her in the eyes as well, only for Zecora, it had the opposite effect of exciting her. “Mistakes are made by us all, and it is no place for any to judge others based on them unless they do not acknowledge or learn from them. Thank you for your help. You may use the rest how you wish save the bones since Luna wants them for her smithing. Good day my friend, I need to go home. I have...much to do.”

Bronze walked with hesitance to his Doorway on her house, and after he left, Zecora finally plopped her flanks onto the ground, taking a steadying breath. “What sorcery is this? His eyes made my heart race, it felt like it would leap through my chest at such a pace. They had the opposite effect on the princess, I'd better hope that isn't to happen all the time, lest my heart desire excess.” Zecora was baffled, she'd barely known him for all of a few days, and only met him twice, yet she knew the signs. Why was she desiring him? 'Let us hope it is merely a passing fancy, for a courtship with a minotaur would be quite chancy.'

Their size difference being a major point of reference, but that just made the zebra blush and hiss as she rubbed her flanks into the grass a bit. 'It has been a long time...perhaps this one needs more than lime?'

Author's Note

Something dark, tragic. The laws of one universe do not equal those of another, a Goddess's folly has cost the lives of millions. Yet, that goddess has something she did not have before.

A Friend.

One who won't let her face judgement for her mistake, at least not alone.

Shampoo's Been Taking Vitamins....

Bronze cheerfully trotted into Battopia’s cavern entrance from the new stone Doorway next the the oak one anchored to Twilight’s library, but his joy rapidly leeched out of him once the door closed and he wilted as he looked up at the plaque that read ‘Missy, Dunc, and Jeff’ over the new Doorway to his new friend’s house. ‘I hope I was able to help them out with their lack of communication equipment and whatnot with my Internet connection.’ Bronze sighed softly out his nose as he turned into the cave to head home for what he was originally doing today.

‘That was the first time I actually talked about my reincarnation into an alicorn with others outside my immediate family and friends without needing help from AJ.’ Bronze shuddered as he paused in the middle of the cave, peering over to the far west side of the cave at the sight of the sundries shop a small crew of thestral ‘daylighters’ were constructing. ‘It’s sad how I haven’t even told that many ponies about this place, and thestrals from around the country are already preparing to flock here, as if there’s nowhere for them where they feel welcome.’

Another point to make Bronze feel depressed-yet-hopeful. Apparently, until his ascension as the Thestral Alicorn, thestrals were such a hidden minority that the average pony was just so blindly scared of them, like the gangster in the alleyway. Instant racial profiling. It was disgusting. But now, Bronze was hearing more of thestrals coming out during the day, making friends. Battopia was ultimately his hope for a colony of diurnal thestrals, but considering their natural nocturnal tendencies, he wasn’t going to hold his breath. Just because he has a special magical ‘implant’ that lets him sleep only whenever he wants to doesn’t mean he’s the exception either for all he knew.

But that wasn’t important now. He couldn’t be a mopey depressed jerk right now. He promised to help Shampoo integrate into society, and today when everypony was at the Running of the Leaves was the perfect time to at least get her familiar with the layout of the town before letting her try to go out into public on her own, considering Twilight or him had to escort her whenever she left his manor to get her electroshock therapy in Twilight’s basement.

The only reason they weren’t using Ponyville General Hospital was because none of the physical therapists there have experience with electroshock therapy, beings it’s still a relatively new medical practice. That aside, Shampoo had reasonably harsh trust issues considering how quickly her condition and black-and-white morality heroes labeled her a danger to society without even lending her a hoof first back in her world. So really, Twilight was the only option in her opinion.

“Shampoo?” Bronze called out as he entered the manor, but when he didn’t receive a reply, he trotted over to the nearest intercom and held down it’s button. “Shampoo, are you ready to go?”

After a few seconds, Bronze heard the intercom click, meaning she was on wherever she was. “Hold on a few minutes BB, I’m soaking in a watermelon and orange shampoo bath, I’ve been feeling weak and tired lately. I’ve even been eating some strawberry hair gel to help the empty feeling pass.”

Bronze gagged. She could also eat hair products directly, but the concept itself disgusted pretty much everyone. Shampoo loved it though, but it made normal food taste bland for a while afterwards apparently, so if she was eating it at all…. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not sure BB...I sleep more, I dream soundly, but when I wake up, I feel restless, unrested. I feel hungry no matter how much food I eat, and I’ve been soaking in this bath while snacking on hair gel for over two hours now, and I still feel empty.” Shampoo informed with a quiver in her husky voice. “I think something else is wrong with me now. Something that never occurred before since I always indulged myself until recently.”

“Alright Shampoo, I’ll set up a meeting with aunt Tia since it seems your condition is advancing. Otherwise we’ll keep helping you however we can.” Bronze said soothingly, and soon he heard water draining and dripping everywhere. Clearly she’d been using a hair tentacle to use the intercom by the door.

“Alright, I’m getting ou-WAH~!” Shampoo screamed in shock, and Bronze instinctively warped in on her.

“Sham! What’s wrong?! Are you-?!” Bronze’s nose suddenly exploded in a vicious nosebleed, rocketing him into a backflip that smacked his head into the door. ‘D-damned cartoon physics! What happened?’ Bronze asked himself as he rubbed his head, the impact having made him forget the past few moments.

“Bronze! I-he-he-he~ can’t believe that just ha-ha-happened!” Shampoo huskily laughed at his predicament, and when he rolled over and turned around, he remembered why he had a total anime moment as he gawked at her. “I know! I didn’t know I could do this!”

Shampoo was, somehow, as big as Celestia and Luna! She had a frame and body similar to Celestia before she got a power boost and lost her excess weight, and her mane and tail were even bigger too, making the whole large bathroom seem to be filled with her spread-out and gently waving green mane and tail as the industrial ceiling air dryer helped her dry her massive body and hair out. “Well...this is a really interesting development.”

“I’ve never swollen up this large before. Hair absorbs water and basically whatever’s put into it, but all the nutrients and soaks must’ve led up to the gorging and this morning’s prolonged soak. I was wondering why I had to keep adding water.” Shampoo tittered as she put a hoof to her mouth demurely. “I knew I was beautiful before, but watching you rocket backwards from your nose was just glorious.”

“But this is a new thing right?” Bronze asked curiously as the mare continued to dry off.

“Yes. Maybe the electrotherapy and potions are causing my condition to adapt. I hope I don’t have to keep consuming endless amounts of hair products and keep getting bigger, because I already ate normal food in large amounts. If I just keep growing….” Shampoo mused, worried. “There’d be no way a giant mare could possibly reintegrate into society. Especially since it seems the bigger I get, the hungrier I become.”

“We’ll see if we can’t alter the treatments to help stymie your condition’s new stage. I just hope you don’t turn to eating actual hair.” Bronze said, and suddenly Shampoo froze, drool suddenly dripping from her mouth as her eyes glazed. “Crap. Uh...I’ll start adding animal hair to the rations Jeeves sends us.”

“Please do….”

[@]

“And here is Sugarcube Corner. The sweetest place in town.” Bronze snorted at his corny joke, and Shampoo did as well with a soft smile. The day had gone very well once Bronze got Shampoo to Ponyville, and had taken her around town in a spiral outwards and then inwards from another angle, as well as giving her an actual map of the town that was fairly recent. However, Bronze was more fixated on her than the tour, he couldn’t take his eyes off the utterly beautiful purple mare accompanying him around the empty town.

Her enlarged stature put him at her withers as she walked like a normal pony, which meant he was still almost a foot tall over most ponies now since with royal permission, AJ and Zecora had ramped up his potion regimen and his food intake even more, and as his aunt predicted he’d shed the excess weight and now he was a lean but powerful stallion about the size of an average horse from Saddle Arabia.

But Bronze couldn’t help his brain dripping into the gutter at how the very shapely and strongly-muscled mare’s body complimented her new size and her already beautiful face, with her pink and green ‘watermelon’ eyes staring at him with a knowing grin- ‘Crap.’ “U-um...you’re looking very clean today.”

“I try to keep dirt out of my mane and tail now rather than just use them as filthy and greasy locomotion. I’m trying to get Rarity and Twilight to enchant my whole body with a constant clean-me-up spell so I don’t have to worry about things getting stuck in my hair when I do use my tendrils to get around.” Shampoo said, her grin refusing to leave. “Also, tell me Bronze. What do you think?” Shampoo flexed her muscles around her chest, causing her powerful purple pectorals to bulge, making Bronze blush. “About my new body?”

“Y-y-you’re very ravishing….” Bronze mumbled as he shrank away nervously, but her boisterous laugh and the grab she made with her mane to pull him into a hug made him warp a few feet out of her grasp on instinct.

“Come here! I will hug you!” Shampoo had a playfully manic grin, and Bronze couldn’t avoid laughing as he sprinted away from her, the mare giving prompt chase with her mane and tail providing faster locomotion. “You~ shall not escape, the Mane-iac~!” Shampoo hammed, laughing hysterically as she gave enthusiastic chase after her friend who began to fly over the rooftops, forcing her to leap in shocking bounds with her hair after him.

“Stay away you vile medusa! I shalt not be beguiled by your depraved beauty!” Bronze cackled infectiously as he played along, dodging as she almost tackled him out of the air, her simply sliding down the roof of a home she landed on and leaping for him again seamlessly, making it a risky game of airborne tag with rules and components he wasn’t used to dealing with when playing/practicing with Rainbow and Gilda. Especially since his opponent was ground-bound but more or less constantly flinging herself at him like a giant trebuchet quarrel.

“Nonsense! I shall not be denied he-he~!” Shampoo squealed as she doubled the effort in her next leap, tackling Bronze out of the air and sending them tumbling to the ground on the road leading northwest out of Ponyville, both panting and sweating as she pinned Bronze to the dirt road with a victorious grin. “I win.” Shampoo smirked at the exhausted alicorn, who merely smirked back.

“So you have.” Bronze admitted, but while he did feel it coming, he was still stunned when Shampoo suddenly took his lips with hers. Oddly...she tasted like watermelon, oranges, and strawberries. After several moments of the steamy kiss, she pulled away, both of them still panting from before.

“Consider that my thank you for all you’ve done for me.” Shampoo smiled softly as she moved off of him and whined as she looked at her hair. “Aw, look! I’m all filthy! You’re going to give me a bath to make up for this.” Shampoo grinned lecherously, and Bronze gulped. He knew that look.

“Um...no hetero?” Bronze asked in vain.

“ALL the hetero!” Shampoo manically smiled.

[@]

“So Sham’s in the herd now huh? Well, to be fair, she is quite the looker.” Applejack shrugged at the news Bronze gave her at dinner, which he more or less invited himself to in order to get some distance from the voraciously hungry mare he’d unintentionally let into his heart as well as his home. And his tongue. Good gosh she was succulent.

“Yes. But the new turn her condition has taken is troubling. I shall need her to personally come to my hut so that I might examine her body again.” Zecora said with a worried tone from her seat next to AJ while Bronze had several packages of MREs on the table in front of him all being prepared in their own various ways, beings the Apples didn’t know he was going to be there tonight and he didn’t want to tax their food stores beings AJ more or less depleted the excess preserves apples feeding him already. While meat was included, the Apples were hardy ponies and understood others had different dietary needs.

“Gawrsh, it sure sounds like that mane-lady is still havin a harsh time of it.” Applebloom commented from her own seat as she scooped some applesauce into her mouth.

“Eeyup. Darn shame. She was lookin’ to be doin’ real good lately from what I’ve seen too.” Big Mac said evenly, but the sad look in his eyes said enough, the stallion didn’t like hearing about others suffering.

“Well you just keep treatin’ her right like you've been, y’hear colt?” Granny Smith said before she knocked back a mug of cider, the old nag drank like a racehorse and never seemed to get tipsy. Apple ponies are ridiculously resilient.

“I know Granny. Thanks for letting me come over for dinner without notice again.” Bronze didn’t tell them the real reason he came, but his excuse of needing to get out of the manor was earnest. Besides, Vivian was having a sleepover with Sweetie Belle at Rarity’s, so it would’ve just been him and Shampoo, and she would’ve kept the action going all night if he didn’t take a leave for the moment.

“Aw, quit yer simperin. Ya’ll are always welcome in this home. Here, have some cider to wash down that there awful slop yer eatin’.” Granny Smith insisted as she shoved a mug of cider across the table to him, which he gratefully accepted. MREs could be delicious, but having something tasty to wash it down was always nice.

“Thanks Granny.” Bronze said, lifting the mug to his lips when AJ and Zecora’s eyes widened in realization.

“DON’T-!” Bronze took a swig, and his eyes shrank to slits.

[@]

“Ow….” Bronze whimpered, a pounding hangover hitting like a freight train. He forgot how weak he was to cider considering he only real encounter with it before was when he celebrated getting out of the hospital. His body’s addiction to fruit sugars didn’t help either, since it combined with the alcoholic content of the drink to make him keep drinking as he lost his reason.

“Worry not love, for while you may have failed to abstain, I will help soothe your pain.” Zecora’s velvety voice almost hit his ultra-sensitive ears like a rumbling thunder until a pill was put under his tongue, and he gratefully dry-swallowed what he knew was one of her homemade pain remedies.

“Ah just hope he doesn’t fall for that again when Nightmare Night comes round. The cider is loose around that time.” Applejack said from somewhere, Bronze hissed as he put his hooves to his ears, and somepony, likely Zecora, pulled the covers of whatever bed he was on over him as she and AJ quietly whispered as they left the room.

‘Ow...mom. Why do I have to have so many weaknesses?’

Author's Note

Eeyup. :eeyup:

Been planning that for a short bit. It isn't often that Mane-iac gets paired with anyone for all I know. I've just gotta get her rampant biology reined in, because Manezilla is not something I want happening. :rainbowderp:

Also, this is just after a Crossover with Shape Shifters and Sakura Cards in Equestria but the chapter won't be posted for now, but nothing really serious happened involving Bronze's development, it was more or less a pretty cool little ditty, but when it is out, I'll link it in the chapter. :pinkiehappy:

Birds of a Feather are Friends Together!

It was another beautiful day in Ponyville. The sun was shining because the weather was scheduled to be only partially cloudy for the next several days for both scenic value and also to help with the big rainstorm planned at the end of the week by not being too far to be a bother for the weather team to go fetch or generate.

‘Another boring day in this boring classroom until I can get out of this cage to hang out with my friends.’ Vivian mentally grumbled to herself as she leaned a cheek on her left talon and tapped her desk with her pencil as she forlornly gazed outside into the clear blue sky and the inviting-looking clouds. ‘I forgot how dang dull school was. I miss fighting crime, punching no-good mooks in the noses and delivering justice.’

“Vivian Brave!” The griffon cub jolted in her seat, snapped to attention at the irritated voice of Cheerilee. “Would you mind explaining to the class what’s more captivating than the history of Roam and the war with the Pitbulls?”

“The relatively pointless dispute over a ten acre stretch of barren land between their borders that sparked it?” Vivian threw out, making Cheerilee quickly change from irritated to her default cheerfulness.

“Ah! I see somep-someone, was actually paying attention to the history lesson yesterday. But don’t muse too much over it dear. Focus on what’s being taught now.” Cheerilee gently chided, causing some of the meaner foals in the class to snicker at the lone griffon’s inattention.

“Yes ma’am.” ‘Ugh! I already know all this! Alfalfa was relentless in my studies, and I’m kinda freaking out how similar, yet different this world is to mine.’ Vivian bemoaned as she tried to pay attention to the lesson, until a ball of paper hit her back, and she instinctively snatched it in her tail to discreetly move it under the desk so she could unwrap it with a talon while she pretended to look at the board. When she felt it was open, she quickly leaned to the side to look at it when Cheerilee was turned away.

‘We still on for the plan this weekend?’

Vivian stretched her left wing out in affirmative as she crumpled the paper back up, dropping it into her backpack with nopony the wiser.

[(x)]

When the bell rang, Viv, Bloom, Sweetie and Scoots burst out of the door of the paradoxically small schoolhouse with girlish cheers of joy as they ran to the nearby elm tree across the street. “Weekend! Oh my gosh! The next two days are gonna be awesome~!” Scootaloo gushed, mashing her cheeks with her hooves so much she made a kissy face.

“Eeyup! Especially since Applejack gave me permission to go!” Applebloom practically bounced in place.

“Pfft, you had it easy. Your sister’s his marefriend, of course she’d let you stay over at his house.” Sweetie rolled her eyes as she habitually bounced one of the natural curls of her pale purple, pink, and cream mane in a hoof. “Scoots and I had to practically beg our parents. I think the only reason they didn’t outright refuse us was because this is Royalty we’re talking about.”

“Bah, dad’s about as Royal as a doornail. He’d be the first to deny it too.” Viv joked, referencing Bronze Brave’s affinity for Doors. “So what’re we gonna do before we head over to sleep-over at my place? Catch frogs? Race around town? Read comics?” Viv asked eagerly as she got into a pouncing stance. “Or play manticore?!” Viv excitedly exclaimed, really wanting to play the more difficult game of tag.

However, the three fillies all looked at each other worriedly. “Actually...there might be a problem with this afternoon….” Bloom kicked a hoof with a pout as the other two fillies also grumbled.

“W-what? But I thought we had all weekend, including this afternoon, to hang out.” Vivian wilted a little. Just because she didn’t have external ears didn’t mean she couldn’t emote such a feeling.

“Oh, trust us. We’d love nothing more than to play with you all day Viv. It’s just that stupid jerk Diamond Tiara got her Cutie Mark and she’s having her cute-ceañera today, remember?” Scootaloo huffed, and Vivian blinked in confusion.

“What? That was today?” Viv asked bewilderedly, and the fillies looked at each other in a similar state.

“Uh, this morning? When Cheerilee was talking about Cutie Marks and Diamond Tiara revealed she’d gotten hers, and invited everypony in class to her cute-ceañera?” Sweetie reminded her griffon friend, who blinked, and then looked sheepish.

“Um...I might’ve already been daydreaming?” Viv admitted, getting her friends to groan. “But that’s not important! We can totally blow her off, there’s no way any of us have to go and suffer that prissy-.”

“Why hello my little Blank Flanks.” Came the high-toned and grating voice of the bane of their existence. “Oh, and Vivian. I still don’t get why you hang out with these losers.” The group turned to scowl at the approaching Diamond Tiara and her hanger-on, Silver Spoon.

“Wanna rephrase that miss hissy? I thought you just called my gal-pals losers. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?” Viv bit at the approaching tiara-wearing filly and her glasses-wearing peon. “After all, just yesterday, you were a kettle too.”

“Not just yet. They won’t be pots until they get branded by their smiths.” Silver Spoon grinned cruelly, making Diamond coo in approval of the turn-around, especially since it in part involved Silver’s Talent with precision metalworking. “Besides. Kettles are made of cheap iron, while pots can be made of much more valuable ores.”

“Ah get it, yer real metal-smart. Can ya go now?” Bloom snapped out. She hated it when Silver Spoon started gabbing about her metals.

“Not just yet dear Blank Flanks. Please remember that I invited Everypony in class to my cute-ceañera. You too Vivian. While you might not be a pony, it’s a good idea to get familiar with our customs, but I won’t ask you to come if you don’t want to, it’d be understood if you didn’t come for whatever reason. But you three. You don’t have any real excuses. So be there, or I’ll ensure you’re square.” Diamond sweetly threatened. “Come on Spoon. Bump, sugar lump, rump!” The two did their stupid little shake, and tittered as they left the four fuming friends.

“That ponyfeathered jerk!” Scootaloo practically shrieked, causing her voice to crack.

“Language! But yeah, that’s just mean! Now we have to go and have her hold her mark over our heads, or everypony will call us cowards.” Sweetie pouted as she leveled her simmering glare at the duo’s retreating flanks.

“I just wish I could smack their heads together and call it a day.” Viv darkly growled, her lion portion giving it a terrifying rumble that her friends actually thought was cute, considering that rumble to her own perception was pretty much a purr considering her size. “But no~. This isn’t Trotham, I can’t just smack some skulls around and call it a day.”

“Not everything can be solved with violence Viv.” Applebloom reminded her hot-headed friend, who sighed and nodded in agreement.

“We’ll just go to the snob’s party and know we’re better than her. You go and be free from the tyranny of the Tiara for a bit.” Scootaloo insisted as the three little ponies split up to rush home and dump their book bags off, while Vivian slouched and sighed as she laid down next to her backpack.

“Yeah...sure….” ‘I have tons of friends besides you to hang out with...yeah, right. Like any of these obnoxious little brats are nearly as good friends as you girls are.’ Vivian moped as she decided to take a cat-nap under the tree. ‘Well...except maybe that dork Button Mash.’ Vivian grinned to herself at the thought of the video-game obsessed colt. ‘Meh, don’t feel like playing my Joyboy though.’

[(x)]

“Hey. Wake up squirt. This isn’t a good place to take a cat-nap. You’re lucky no ponies decided to prank ya.” Viv groaned at being gently shaken by a large talon.

“Five more minutes….” Viv mumbled, causing the talon to retreat, and quickly be followed by the smallest one practically jabbing into her left feather-hidden ear-hole, wet with what was obviously spit and making the cub yelp at the wet-willie. “EW! Gross!”

“You’re the one who didn’t wake up from the nudging.” Came the snark reply of the perpetrator who dared interrupt her nap. “I swear, ya sleep more like a fledgeling than a cub.” Gilda, the only other griffon in town besides Bronze’s parents grinned down at Viv mockingly, making the cub growl, which made the hen laugh. “Oh my gosh! You still purr when you try to growl? That’s just precious.” Gilda teased, making Viv blush.

“You wouldn’t be laughing if we sparred!” Vivian challenged, and Gilda suddenly backed away with a nervous grin.

“Yeah, no. Sorry. I’m a trainer, not a fighter. I’ve got my Sight and you’ve got yours.” Gilda insisted, confusing Vivian.

“My Sight? I haven’t found it yet. My eyes have always been red.” Vivian informed the older griffon, who blinked her yellow eyes in surprise.

“Really? But they’re so vibrant! I’ve never seen a griffon who hasn’t found their Sight with eyes like those.” Gilda exclaimed as she looked Vivian in the eyes, and shrugged. “Meh, you’re about the age where you discover your Sight like ponies find their marks, so I guess you not having found it yet isn’t out of the ordinary. Just figured since the only griffs I’ve seen with eyes like those were all soldiers or guards.”

“Yeah, right. I’m no soldier, and I can’t stand the idea of standing around all day just waiting for something to happen, or sticking to predictable patrols.” Viv shook her head, her instincts given to her by Brave Wings about the ineffectiveness of traditional guard-work making such a job completely out of the question for her. “So I’ve just gotta find my Sight...like my friends need to find their Marks!” Viv exclaimed, her feathers all ruffling up in excitement as her bright red eyes shimmered with joy while Gilda backed away nervously. “I’ve got it! Thanks Gilda!”

“No prob squirt….” Gilda weakly chuckled as the cub quickly put on her backpack and flew off. “Oh dang, what have I done? I’ve gone and sparked a Sight Seeker.” Gilda smiled wistfully. “Just like old times…better warn the mayor about future potential property damage….”

[(x)]

Vivian quickly flew to the library to use the door on the side that led to Battopia so she could drop her bag off at home, then burst back into town with her heart pounding from exertion and excitement as she thought over her pitch. ‘Girls! We can totally start our own Sight Seekers Squadron! Or, since you need to find marks, Mark Masters? Cutie Catchers? Ugh, I’ll ask them for ideas for a team name.’

Vivian flew around, looking for any signs of a party, before sighing at her silliness and headed for the only gingerbread house in town, seeing the signs of a party as clear as day. ‘Duh Viv, only public place kid-friendly in town for a party besides the park, and that would’ve been even easier to see.’ Vivian flew down to the tasty-looking building, and blew a couple rogue plumes of her crest out of her eyes, the red-tipped white feathers insistently getting in her face until she slicked it back. ‘Gotta get a crest cut.’

“Why welcome Vivian Brave!” Vivian cringed at hearing Diamond Tiara’s sickly-sweet voice addressing her, and blandly looked at the party girl as she approached, surprisingly without her hanger-on Silver Spoon. “I’m so glad you decided to come. I don’t know if you griffons have something similar, but to us ponies, getting our mark is a time to celebrate.”

“Yeah, yeah, rite-of-passage stuff. We griffons actually do have something like it. See my eyes?” Vivian pointed to her big, bright red eyes, which Diamond did gaze into gladly. “They won’t be this vibrant red someday. When I discover my passion, my driving desire in life, my Sight, they’ll change color to represent it. For instance, that griffon Gilda? She’s a baker, and her eyes are yellow. Yellow eyes usually represent the griff who has them enjoys energetic pursuits such as training, exercise, and cooking. They’re associated with Energy, and you’ll often find your chef, personal trainer, or athlete has yellow eyes.”

“Wow...so what do red eyes normally mean?” Diamond asked with genuine interest, surprising Vivian. She just mentioned it so Diamond would stop getting on her nerves about different culture crap.

“Um...well, red eyes means a griff is driven with the desire to protect, guide, or they have an innate skill for combat. Mostly red-eyed griffs end up as soldiers, guards, investigators, judges, even politicians in some rare cases, but usually those ones have gray eyes, but griffon kings and queens almost always have red eyes.” Vivian explained, making Diamond hum as she seemed to muse over it.

“Huh...shame those aren’t your true eyes then. Because I think you’d be a great leader of others.” Diamond complimented, making Vivian balk at her in surprise. “Oh, more guests. You go ahead and mingle, I have to see to my guests, it is my party after all. It’s only polite.” Diamond Tiara moved to the door, and Vivian was left a little confused.

‘That’s...the most respect I’d ever seen out of her...still a royal flankhole though.’ Vivian moved into the party, easily spotting her friends all slouching at a table in the far corner of the establishment, away from everypony else. Well, except Button Mash and Rumble, the only two colts in class who still didn’t have their marks yet. “Sup pals?” Vivian called out as she moved past Button on the outer edge, getting a laugh out of him as she mussed his mane before moving across from him to sit next to Scootaloo, who along with the rest were pleased as punch to see her.

“Viv! You didn’t have to come and suffer with us.” Scoots said with a proud grin at her griffon friend who pulled her into a giggling one-armed hug.

“And leave my pals to suffer alone? What kind of friend would I be?” Vivian asked, getting the colts to look to each other in confusion.

“A bad one?” And there was the evidence of a male stating the obvious in the form of Button Mash who seemed earnestly confused at how obvious the answer was, getting the girls to snicker. “What?”

“I think it was implied Button.” Rumble figured out with a faint blush staining his blueish-gray coat, getting Button to blink.

“Oh. My bad.” Then the brown colt went back to his Joyboy, once more dead to the world as his two-tone orange mane hid part of his face as he played his hoof-held with an intensity in his red-brown eyes. “You bring your game Viv?” Button asked idly without looking up.

“Yeah, I’ll play with ya in a sec, but I’ve got important stuff to talk about.” Vivian stated with an unusually serious tone that even got Button the pause his game and look up. “We all are here today for one reason, well, sorta in my case. That filly Diamond is holding her mark over your heads like it’s the greatest thing in the world.”

“But it is!” Applebloom whined, getting nodding affirmations from all the other blank flanks at the table.

“Yeah, we won’t know what our Special Talent is until we get it.” Rumble grumbled as he looked at his plain flank.

“I’m just wondering why I don’t already have a ‘gaming’ Cutie Mark.” Button lamented as his propeller hat slowed down.

“Yeah, Button’s the best gamer in town, but he still doesn’t have his mark, so what does that mean? For all of us?” Sweetie asked, as only her friends at that very table knew she had a semi-secret indulgence in gaming herself, but didn’t let her sister know.

“It means, it’s time.” Vivian ominously stated, looking around at the others who all looked bewildered.

“Time for what?” Scootaloo asked to break the ice, and Vivian flared out her wings, not caring that she spread her left wing over Scoot’s back.

“It is time, for the Sight Seeker Squadron to form here in Ponyville!” Vivian declared, getting the colts to look lost and her best friends to all blink, remembering what she’d already told them about griffons and their Sight.

“But we don’t have Sight like you griffons Viv.” Applebloom commented, and Sweetie gasped in understanding.

“You mean? We should form a group devoted to finding our marks?” Sweetie asked in excitement, getting everypony at the table to gasp in elation as well.

“And my Sight. But since it’s mostly for you all, being called the Sight Seekers Squadron doesn’t really make much sense, so we need a name.” Vivian put forth, and the five friends all got to thinking.

“The Cutie Catchers?” Scoots suggested, getting unanimous nos and Scootaloo agreed that it was a lame name.

“Mark Masters?” Bloom put forth, also getting negatives.

“Cutie Mark Acquisition Program?” Sweetie asked, getting amused snorts, but ultimately it was turned down.

“Talent Scouts?” Rumble proposed, but aside from groans at parallels with the Filly Scouts there was nothing else.

“How about the Cutie Mark Crusaders?” Button Mash asked, getting everyone to look at him. “I mean, this isn’t something usually done right? So, we’d be crusading against the injustice of ponies everywhere who don’t know their talents.” Button said, and after a few seconds, everyone cheered.

“Is it unanimous?” Vivian asked, getting everypony to nod, so she lifted Scootaloo’s half-empty shake off the table. “Then it is hereby declared upon this day forth, that until we find our callings, we five are to be called Crusaders, for your Marks, my Sight, and the talents of any who might need our help! This adjourns the official first meeting, of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Vivian gently but firmly clanked the bottom of the shake’s glass on the table as a gavel, and the friends all cheered, while outside, Gilda and Dash looked on in worry.

“G...what have you done?” Dash asked in horror as Gilda gulped.

“Doomed Ponyville, that’s what….” The griffon said grimly, before the two flew off to recover from the terrifying revelation of the formation of a group of well-meaning youngsters who would inevitably cause thousands of bits of property damage and hospital bills for the foreseeable future.

Author's Note

Eeyup, a chapter away from Bronze, mostly because I didn't want to neglect everyone's favorite troublemakers, and also wanted to specifically point out what Vivian will be generally up to in the background, as well as involve Rumble and Button Mash for reasons that all of us are extremely aware of.

So yeah, Griffons have their Sight, like how Ponies have Marks and Minotaurs have their Names and Rings.

As for why my update took so long? Been sick, and also depression at the job I was so longing for slipping from my fingers. No motor pool for this poor schmuck after all :pinkiesad2: oh well, time to drown in ponies. :trollestia:

Water, Earth, Fire, Air-Y U NO WERK RITE?!

Pinkie was sick.

That much was apparent, but it took her conflicting with herself for it to become obvious only just now. Not so much physically as mentally and spiritually however. Pinkamena, or Pinka, hasn’t been the one in control of their body for several years, and unlike Pinkie when she first emerged, didn’t have a surge of energy or ignorance for her to just jump back into her skin without consequence.

Somehow, they’d accidentally split their perspectives using mirrors, and now after Pinka took back her body on a whim, Pinkie was trapped in a mirror, or any mirror that Pinka looked into really, and Pinka, the poor mare, was weak, tired, and listless since her spirit and ego hadn’t been physically active for several years.

The doctors and Twilight theorized that since Pinka wasn’t as synchronized with her body as Pinkie, she was as weak and tired as a tuckered-out newborn, and would have to go through physical and spiritual therapies to get back on her hooves. Of course, they could just help Pinka swap with Pinkie, but both mares were scared to try that again, even if it meant Pinkie was trapped in a mirror for the time being.

Also Pinka preferred healthy snacks, and Pinkie wanted nothing to do with hospital food.

“How can you be eating all those greens raw?” Pinkie asked with a grossed out expression as Pinka slowly and blandly chewed on uncooked broccoli and spinach leaves with a soft smile and lazily lidded eyes. “Also you keep acting more like Maud. I mean, I love her so much, but I didn’t know at our very core, we were more than sisters in blood and name.”

“Sis has always been an inspiration to us. Why should it surprise you that when I’m calm I’m as stone-cool as her?” Pinka asked curiously of her brighter half in the mirror hanging from the wall to her left away from the door so Pinkie could see anypony who came in.

“Cuz you’ve been me, duh!” Pinkie giggled as she hopped in place in her mirror room before jumping onto her bed next to Pinka’s reflection and hugged the straight-haired mare, which Pinka felt as if she wasn’t in the mirror and was right next to her. Pinkie found out she could interact with things in her ‘mirror world’ and affect the real world so long as it was within view of the mirror. Twilight wanted to test this unique phenomenon but Bronze vetoed any testing in that area, since he wanted to focus on getting Pinkie out of the mirror.

“Pinkie, you know that even though I was glad to just let you run things, I still thought of you more as a sibling than a part of me.” Pinka softly rasped out as she hugged the invisible mare and kissed where she figured her brow was, and Pinkie in the mirror giggled.

“I know Pinka. I love you too sis.” Pinkie gushed as she kissed Pinka’s reflection, the mare snorting in amusement at feeling the pecks on her cheek.

“Hey, how’re my favorite fun mares?” Bronze asked as he entered with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy into the room. The past few days had been constant visits to get updates on the two mare’s conditions, so Bronze had put Korin’s Tower off since his friends needed him. But…. “Now then Dash. I told you I don’t care for sports. I’d rather stay here with Pinks and keep seeing if I can’t make a proxy body for Pinkie.”

“Argh, but dude! You’re like, my only guy friend that isn’t a lazy stick-in-the-mud! Not to mention aside from Shy and Gilda, you’re my only friend who can even go to Cloudsdale to see me perform.” Rainbow Dash complained as she trotted up to Pinka. “Hey Pink, how ya doin’?”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Pinka asked tiredly, and smirked softly when Dash yelped at feeling Pinkie hug her in the mirror.

“Rainbow Dash is performing in the Best Young Flyer Competition up in Cloudsdale tomorrow. But so far it seems only Gilda and I are going to go see her perform, since nopony else can stand on clouds.” Fluttershy gently informed her ailing friend as she moved to the mirror. “Hello Pinkie Pie. How are you doing?”

“Oh I’m doing okay Fluttershy. I mean, sure, I can’t eat, sleep, feel tired or anything while I’m in here for some reason. Something about leeching off of Pinka, isn’t that what Twilight and Zecora said?” Pinkie asked her currently physical half, who sighed and nodded.

“I’m getting better, but whenever Pinkie gets especially rowdy, I have to take a nap or stimulants the staff have prescribed.” Pinka informed, making everypony in the room look worried. “Hey, I’m okay. Just tired all the time.” Pinka reassured them.

“Well, you two get better, I don’t like seeing you two anything but smiles and sunshine.” Rainbow encouraged, before taking a cleansing breath. “I get it Bronze, you do have more important things to tend to. You help Pinkie Pie get out of that mirror or I’ll make you regret missing my Sonic Rainboom.” Dash arrogantly declared to Bronze before she flew out of the room.

"A Sonic-you-hurt-your-what?" Bronze asked in confusion.

"A Sonic Rainboom! It's a rainbow and sonic boom in one! I've always wanted to see one!" Pinkie gushed from her mirror prison as Pinka blearily nodded in agreement from her bed. "If somepony can do it, it'd have to be Dashie!"

"She's already really fast, makes a rainbow contrail. Kinda makes sense." Pinka commented quietly.

“She’s actually done it once before, when we were just fillies. She’s hoping to repeat it at the Best Young Flyer competition.” Fluttershy informed her friends with an unusual amount of eagerness that she usually reserved for the topics of animals.

“Wow, really? But if she did it as a filly, shouldn’t she be able to crank those out like a machine?” Bronze asked curiously, getting Fluttershy to wilt a little.

“No. She hasn’t been able to do it since then. She’s been trying so hard, but it seems she can’t break the sound barrier, it keeps knocking her back just before she can break the air resistance slowing her down.” Fluttershy sadly shook her head. “It was good to see you two Pinkie and Pinkamena, but I have to go and keep Rainbow motivated.” Fluttershy waved and left, leaving an intrigued Bronze, an apathetic Pinka and an excited Pinkie.

“Hm...only pegasi can go up there huh?” Bronze mused with a hoof to his chin, before a devious smirk sprouted and his swirled eyes gave a quick twirl, causing Pinka and Pinkie to blush and shiver. “We’ll see about that.”

[@]

“Thank you so much for getting us out of the hospital for the day Bronzie!” Pinkie Pie gushed from the hoof mirror Pinka was holding in her mouth with a gentle smile, the mare cleared to leave the hospital with medical supervision and a prescription of stimulants to keep her awake. Zecora had volunteered to be the medical assistant for this case so the hospital didn’t have to assign a nurse to accompany them.

“Not a problem Pinks.” Bronze addressed them both, since it not only flustered them for some reason, but it referred to them both at once, making Pinka blush and shuffle her hooves adorably and Pinkie to do the same in her little prison. ‘Dear gog, I wish I’d known they were actually flirting and not just being Pinks. Then all the clopping I’ve been doing to them wouldn’t have been so guilt-filled.’

“I still can’t believe you actually convinced the princesses to lend you a schooner so easily!” Twilight gushed as she teleported all over the small airship that Bronze had borrowed from the Canterlot Aerial-Naval Reserve with permission from his mom and aunt, who told him he didn’t actually need to ask and this ship among others was free to be used by him anyway.

“I’m glad everypony forgets I’m a prince.” Bronze beamed happily, since he really didn’t like being seen as an authority figure, especially since his madness was a very dangerous thing with the power he wielded both literally and politically.

“Well darling, I never forgot, I just know you don’t enjoy special attention.” Rarity commented from the port side next to Spike, looking down at the distant ground as the crew of stallions and mares ponying the ship elevated them higher enroute to Cloudsdale’s current position. Cloudsdale was usually up at the very top of the Planetary Boundary Layer, it’s upper portions cresting up into the bottom of the Troposphere where cloud generation and weather manipulation was easiest for the weather factory to churn out it’s wonders to be shipped by pegasi across the nation and sometimes beyond.

Not even today, on a public event, did the mobile sky city lower its altitude. According to Twilight, it only ever came so low to the ground to get a fresh reservoir of water for the factory. Which just confused Bronze stupid. ‘Why doesn’t it just collect all the natural water the Troposphere attracts?’ Bronze had asked, getting Twilight to blink at him as if he were an idiot, and then inform him, like he was a schoolcolt, that there’s no water in the Troposphere.

Bronze’s logic failed, and then decided to stop bothering trying to reason out or rant about how royally FUCKED UP this world was if it couldn’t even naturally generate it’s own weather outside the airspace of the Everfree.

“Bronze, your rage is showing.” Pinka calmly informed as she held Pinkie in a hoof, and Bronze blinked away the angrily spinning swirls of his eyes until they stopped whirling.

“Sorry Pinka. My fury at how...lazy this world is got the better of me.” ‘This world is a fat slob, needing slaves to tend it….’ Bronze cringed as a spike of pain lanced his head, and he hissed as he stumbled to the railing and leaned against it, waving his concerned friends away. “I’m fine. Fine.” ‘These headaches are getting worse….’ Bronze summoned a tab of painkillers and chewed on it, feeling instant relief before casting his pain killing spell once he could focus again. “I’m good. How much further to Cloudsdale captain?”

“We should be just under her My Prince.” The captain informed, getting everypony not on the crew to look up, and notice the huge mass of clouds around the sky bubble that replaced where sails would be on a normal ship. “We’ll be pulling up into the Cloudsdale Aerial-Naval Port, there the on-site magister will supply your flightless friends with Cloud Walker Shoes so you can all go about town.”

“I could just cast the spell myself, but if we get those shoes I could learn the enchantment too.” Twilight pranced in excitement, Trixie who was standing next to her, rolled her eyes with a grin at her marefriend’s antics.

“Twilight, stop being adorkable before I kiss you.” Trixie threatened, getting Twilight to kiss Trixie instead, and the powder-blue mare hummed as she returned the Prench kiss, getting some hoots and hollers from the crew.

“Twi, please don’t molest your mare in public again.” Bronze teased-slash-warned because Twilight had actually gotten amorous enough once to move on to heavy petting when she and Trixie were on a date at the park. “Beam us up Scotty!”

“How do I do that?!” Shouted a crew stallion with a bewildered look. “I’m no unicorn, how could I ‘beam’ you all up there?” Asked the chocolate-colored and black-maned pegasus at the starboard rigging, apparently named Scotty if the scotch-tape cutie mark on his flanks meant anything besides him being good at piecing things together or whatever abstract meaning his marks had.

“It’s just one of his references, don’t worry about it.” Pinkie dismissed with a giggle as wispy clouds swallowed up the ship, and shortly they pulled straight up into a sort of grid of more ‘solid’ clouds, and numerous pegasi in high-visibility vests quickly moved to manually guide the schooner into dock, where they also moored her in and the crew lowered the gangplank to the cloud dock with a sort of ‘pomf’ sound.

All in just a few minutes. Efficient.

“We are here to receive the schooner Marklar, escorting His Highness Prince Bronze Brave.” Declared a purple and gold armored pegasus officer as he and a unicorn wearing night blue and white robes indicative of his station as military artificer came up the gangplank, and Bronze snorted at the name he’d hastily christened the formerly unnamed ship with to get the reserve to launch it.

“Hey, I just realized...couldn’t Bronze have just warped us up here after Twi cast the cloudwalking spell on us?” Spike asked, and everypony looked to Bronze who snorted and chortled as his eyes spun.

“A-and where would the fun have been in that~?” Bronze asked with snicker. “Besides, you all wanted to ride in style when I asked you all yesterday.”

“You just asked if we’d like to ever fly on an airship, ya said nothin’ about seein’ Rainbow perform today, then ya’ll sorta swept us onto this here ship without a warnin’.” Applejack glowered at her stallion with a measure of amusement, a sentiment shared by everypony save Spike, who just scrunched his browless brows in confusion.

“But that...doesn’t make any sense!” Spike urged, and Bronze burst out laughing.

“Oh my gosh, dude! What fun is there in making sense?!” Bronze asked, and jolted as a spasm of pain wracked him, and he hissed for a moment before taking a cleansing breath. “Magister, please fit my flightless friends with the cloudwalking shoes and we’ll be on our way to the stadium.” ‘Dear gog, I felt that through the pain killers.’

[@]

“Surprise~!” Pinkie Pie shouted from her little hoof mirror as Pinka, freshly invigorated by a stimulant pill and a spell from Twilight, jumped and pronked around in imitation of her younger sister to everyone’s amusement, save the trio of Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Gilda who were taken off-guard when they’d just landed on the edge of Cloudsdale only for Pinka to pop out with Pinkie to surprise them and the others to all approach from around a street corner, beings Pinka and Pinkie’s Pinkie Senses told them where the thee were going to arrive. “Are ya surprised?! Are ya, are ya, are ya?!”

“Pinkie, they’re all shocked, I think they’re surprised.” Pinka calmly said after taking Pinkie’s mirror from her mouth.

“W-wha?! You’re wearing cloudwalking shoes, so you came up here by airship?” Rainbow asked in surprise, since airship fare was really expensive.

“Oh yes, Bronze was very sneaky with obtaining a ship from the Canterlot reserve or something and picking us up in the early morning when he knew you’d still be asleep.” Shampoo answered as she suspended herself on her hair, which she took to doing immediately upon realizing the clouds of the city didn’t dirty anything and that meant she could shamelessly be above everypony not flying and still have her hair clean and beautiful. The repelling magic she’d asked Twilight for still wasn’t finished yet, considering Twilight had changed the basis for it several times after numerous failures.

“Ah just wish he’d given us warnin’, kinda left Mac all alone with the chores when Ah was suddenly not in the kitchen and was on a ship headin’ here.” Applejack commented with a hint of annoyed amusement, getting Bronze to roll his eyes.

“So here we are to cheer you on, let any anxiety you have begone.” Zecora admitted for the group, all smiling at their stunned friend who looked speechless.

“Whoa~! Look who it is!” Rainbow bristled at the sudden new voice, and growled as she turned away from her bemused friends to glare at a trio of pegasus stallions all with their manes hiding their eyes who flew toward them. Gilda similarly growled as Fluttershy whimpered and hid behind her big and strong griffon friend. “If it isn’t Rainbow Crash, Klutzershy, and Gilzongas!” Rainbow snorted steam in anger, Shy tried to hide even more, and Gilda looked between livid, and flustered. “Where you been hen? Things’ve been boring without someone to stir things up.”

“Well, Droops, I’ve been with my friends. How about you three meatheads? Still trying to get into sports teams Hoops, Score and Dumb Bell?” Gilda demanded defensively and the three offensive stallions all shrugged noncommittally.

“Nah, we’ve taken jobs at the weather factory. Gotta pay the bills right?” Hoops, the tall one with the basketballs for marks informed. “So what’re you doing back Crash? Here for the competition I’ll bet.”

“We’d say good luck, but there’s no way a pony that got expelled from Flight School can ever hope to win!” The smallest with the hoofballs for marks barbed, before they all laughed among themselves, ignoring the great many glares being set at them by everyone as they flew away.

“See ya later Crash!” The one with a dumbbell for marks shouted as they left, making the three laugh as if he’d told a joke.

“Want me to pluck all their feathers?” Pinka angrily asked Rainbow with terrifying fury, before Zecora quickly moved to her and began massaging her head and neck. “Ow~ Zecora, what?”

“Calm. You do not have the energy to sustain such destructive emotions.” Zecora chided the pink mare, who huffed, but didn’t struggle to get away from her medical attendant’s attentions.

“I’m just about to! G! Why did those bozos call you Gilzongas?!” Rainbow demanded of her henfriend, who looked incredibly embarrassed.

“When we got older, and my wings kept getting bigger...well...pegasi just kept giving me looks. You moved away before it got to the point where I was being objectified for my huge wings. I got sick of it and moved back to Griffonstone, but the name stuck.” Gilda admitted with frustration. “But even back in Griffonstone, it was all the same. All toms saw was a hot piece of flank, nogrif saw more than my body.” Gilda weakly informed her marefriend.

“Well, this mare sees more.” Rainbow asserted before patting her henfriend on the back. “Look, I get ya G. I get a lot of looks too y’know.” Rainbow sympathized but with a cheeky grin that cheered Gilda up a bit, before looking back to her friends. “Look, I appreciate you all coming, but there’s still a few hours before the competition, so how about I give you all a tour of my hometown?” Rainbow offered excitedly, getting everyone to forget their anger and cheer on the decision.

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“How can you drink that stuff?” Rainbow asked with a queasy expression and tone as Bronze lapped up liquid rainbow as if it was water.

“I don’t get what the big deal is.” Bronze commented as every single pegasus was cringing and gasping in awe intermittently as he drank more of the liquid hell that was pure essence of rainbows. Tasted like cinnamon red-hots, a favorite. Also his body was rapidly shifting into a tie-dye of colors as he drank, which he found incredibly cool.

“Dude~! You are hardcore!” Crowed one of the three jerks from before, who wore a white lab coat and a white safety helmet like all the factory’s crew and guests save Bronze and Spike due to their plus sizes.

“Look, you don’t know spicy until you’ve eaten a ripe ghost pepper raw on a bet.” Bronze stated blankly. “Those things were used to make weapons for a reason.”

“What’s a ghost pepper?” Asked a random pegasus, and Bronze let out a long-suffering sigh.

‘You’d think the academies would be quicker to announce all the new plants I gave them seeds for from the Svalbard Global Seed Vault.’ “A new dangerously hot pepper coming to a market near you, hopefully, within the next year or so.” Bronze blandly informed before snorting and popping his neck. “Well, we’ve been through the whole place I’m guessing, since you showed us both the general and seasonal departments.” Bronze considered to Rainbow, who nodded.

“Yeah, pretty much. It’s about time for the competition, so let’s head over to the stadium.” Rainbow decided even though there was still an hour before she had to register and another hour after that until the competition started at noon. She’d already taken her friends around the more notable areas of her hometown and then the weather factory. She was also still confused about Bronze demanding how they were all breathing so easily up here.

“Oh! Um...uh...Rainbow Dash. Would it be okay that, while we’re here and all, that is, if you don’t mind, um...if we go visit our parents?” Fluttershy suddenly mentioned, and Rainbow froze so hard in mid-air that she crashed to the soft cloud floor, and somewhere, the sounds of glass shattering happened at Rainbow having a sudden realization.

“...My parents don’t know I’m a Filly Fooler….”

Author's Note

Bum-bum-buuuuuuuum~! :rainbowderp: