Lyra in wonderland.

by Appl3dashie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Adventure, Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 4971

A... different thing to Alice in wonderland.

Just when Lyra's studies are going well BAM she's in a world full of weirdness.

Published 2015-03-03 08:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-08 01:54:09 UTC

Stupid Hole.

"And so I found out there was a mirror in Canterlot castle!" Lyra smiled.

"I still can't get over the fact that you broke into Canterlot castle and found that strange mirror before going into it!" Bon Bon replied. A warm breeze passed by them. Sugar Cube corner was busy as usual. Ponies coming in and ponies coming out. But Lyra and Bon Bon had settled down for a nice cup of tea with biscuits.

"Oh come on Bon Bon! It was literally amazing. Until one of those stupid guards saw me jump in and brought me back home."

"Lyra, those guards were protecting you. What if you were lost in the human world. How would you get back?"

"But I wouldn't get lost! I'd come back on the first night for goodness sake!" Lyra groaned. Sometimes Bon Bon did act like her mother and Lyra was the child.

"Oh really? Well if you got lost for three days would you survive thirty moons until you could come home?" Bon Bon questioned.

"I... uh... DON'T STRESS ME!" Lyra flipped the table and trotted off leaving Bon Bon filled with horror. Her head was full of anger. Her face was red and her eyes shone brighter then ever.

"LYRA GET BACK HERE NOW!" Bon Bon screeched. Lyra obviously ignored. Like she'd listen to Bon Bon at a time like this.

"Gotten lost in the human world. Ha! As if." She headed towards the park. "I need to calm down a bit." Laying down on the grass she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

"Would you just move!" Lyra's eyes snapped opened and scanned all around her. "Ahem!" She looked over to her right to see an impatient white rabbit staring back at her.

"But can't you go around me... And anyway who are you?" She said staring back at the creepy little rabbit.

"But I'm late! I'm late for a very important date!"

"Rabbits go on dates? Weird..."

"OH JUST MOVE!" The rabbit yelled.

"Fine!" Lyra shuffled over to the side. While she did that the rabbit tapped his foot on the ground four times and the ground opened up revealing a massive hole big enough to fit a stallion. "Hey where you going?" Lyra curiously peeked down the hole.

"I'm very late. Come if you must but do be quick." He hopped down the hole. Lyra cautiously looked around in case some pony saw her but it seemed eerily quiet. But still it was a weekday everypony might be at work so she to hopped down the hole and into the darkness.

"Hello? Sir Rabbit!" She yelled out only to hear her echo. "Dang it. He's probably reached the bottom... say.. how long is this hole?" It seemed a long way down.

"Hahaha!" A child's laugh bounced around her.

"Finally! Civilization here I- Uh oh.." Chairs and tables appeared out of the darkness. A falling candle next to her appeared. It was enough to light the hole. "What the.."

"HAHAHAHA!" The child's voice boomed again.

"SHUT UP!" Lyra growled. "I just want to get to the bottom." She looked down again. Something white and black was down there. Getting closer.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

SMACK. "Oh man..." Lyra groaned. She'd landed on a checkered floor with checkered walls and random brown doors. "I wanted to land but not hit the ground." She got up rubbing her head and went around to explore.

"I'm very very very very late!" The rabbit from before sped past her.

"YO CAN I COME WITH YOU!" Lyra yelled at him. But the rabbit kept on running down the checkered hall. You aren't getting away that easily! Following the rabbit Lyra sped at top speed down the hall with him. Twisting and turning down passages until the rabbit sped up and disappearing behind a door. "Drats..." Lyra panted. She spotted a glass table down the end of the hall. With a box on top.

"Maybe that box might have something to eat in it." As she got closer she realized the glass table was massive. "Aww man. I can't teleport that high nor grab it with my magic." she pouted. "I just wanna go home!" She sat down crushing something underneath her. "Huh?"

It was a biscuit. With a note that said- EAT ME In big bold letters. "Oh man! I was supposed to eat that biscuit!" She licked up the crumbs from the floor hoping they'd have some reaction on her. She chewed the biscuit savoring the taste. "Crunchy... Lemony... Sweet... Bitter..." She muttered while chewing. "Eh... It wasn't that- WHOA WHOA!" Her size started growing and growing and growing until she was as tall as the table. "HECK YEAH! I AM.... SUPER LYRA!" She laughed.

"Excuse me I'm late for my very important date!" The white rabbit came stumbling back into the hall holding his pocket watch close to his chest. "O-Oh my!"

Lyra stared down at the tiny figure. "Where are you going now?" Her voice boomed causing the rabbit to stumble back.

"T-to Wonderland miss." He then tried to look over her shoulder but because of her size that was pretty much impossible. He only saw a glimpse of a wooden box behind her. "I-I must say you should really look in that box."

"Oh yeah the box." She turned and opened the box (which wasn't easy without nearly crushing it.). Inside was a bottle filled with red liquid and a key.

"I-is there a golden key in there cause I kind of need that..."

"Well this was useless." She tossed the key over her shoulder (which narrowly avoided hitting it.) and stared at the bottle. "Oh no. This is the part where I'm supposed to drink the liquid and shrink. But that ain't happening." She crushed the bottle with her hoof.

"I gotta go to the palace." The rabbit started racing off but Lyra caught him in her magic.

"The palace eh?" She thought for a second. "Show me where is this palace."

"Okay okay okay! Just please let me go." She dropped the rabbit. The rabbit headed to a tiny door to the right and started unlocking it.

"HEY HEY CAREFUL!" The doorknob seemed to be... speaking?

"I'm so sorry that I'm doing this." The rabbit replied.

"And who is this monster?" He looked up at Lyra whose menacing golden eyes stared back at him.

"YOU CALL ME A MONSTER!" She shrieked. "HOW DARE YOU!"

"I'm sorry..."

"Step aside." Lyra grinned. The rabbit obeyed her orders and moved away.

"Please don't tell me your going t-" The doorknob stammered.

"CHARGE!!" She smashed through the wall revealing a colorful forest. Pink trees, purple bushes, blue flowers it was weird but magical.

"I am in so much trouble!" The rabbit cried and started running down a path.

"HEY YOU COULD THANK ME!" Lyra yelled. She then sat down crushing whatever beneath her. "I wonder where that doorknob went?" A sharp pain emerged from nowhere in her stomach. "Oh..." She moaned.

BANG

She dropped to the floor like a stone.

"EEEK!" it echoed through the forest. Rustling leaves and breaking saplings.

Lyra closed her eyes and prayed nothing bad would happen to her. When she awoke everything seemed bigger. She'd then realized she had shrunk back to normal size. The cookies effects had worn off. "No more super Lyra..." She muttered.

"Hello there!" A bird on two legs and pink feathers streaked with orange ran up to her. "Having a bad day?"

"Uh no. And anyway what are you?"

"I'm the Dodo! I'm holding a race want to participate?"

"Sure!"

"Just... RUUUUUUUNNNNN!" The dodo raced off down through bushes.

"Heh.." Lyra followed after chasing the dodo. He was very fast. Very very fast. Lyra could just keep up with him until a tiger jumped over her and ran through the bamboo. "HEY WATCH IT!"

Her only response was a growl.

"How very polite of you." She muttered under breath.

"I am oh so very late!" The white rabbit scampered in front of her.

"Hey! It's him!" Lyra steered of the path stalked the rabbit into a clearing.

"Oh my oh my oh my! I seem to have gotten lost!" The rabbit panicked and ran in circles causing dust to fly everywhere.

"Oy! What's your problem?" Lyra said coming out of the clearing and grabbing the rabbit with her magic.

"I have no time to talk I need to be at the palace i-"

"Yeah! I know. And anyway why didn't you take me to the palace in the first place. Huh? It's not like the Queen or King will kill you!"

"You are very wrong! As a matter of fact she'll have your head off before you can move a muscle!" The rabbit explained.

"We'll I'm telling you. Lead me to this darn castle or I'll have your head off!" Lyra snapped. "I'm gonna put you down and you better lead me to this castle or we're gonna fight!"

"No! I'd rather fight a horse then guide a horse to a castle!" The rabbit shook his head continuously.

"Fine! Lets see who'll win." Lyra grabbed his chin and stared him in the eyes. She threw him down and backed away preparing to fight the animal.

The rabbit charged at her and bucked her on the muzzle.

"Hey!" She yelled. But the rabbit was sprinting through the trees as if his tail was on fire. She growled and snorted. Oh I'll find him. And when I find him he will wish he'd never left me. She thought. I'm getting quite hungry. Maybe there's some oats or something around here. She started wondering through the bushes thinking there would be something good (besides boring old grass.). Eventually she found some apples and daffodils and started eating them along with some grass. Seriously though I wonder if the rabbit will mention me to the King or Queen?

Meanwhile as the rabbit was running...

"I wonder what that green horse was doing here. Most strange. I also don't feel good by having her as an enemy. I'd better keep my distance and report this horse to the Queen. I may be another Alice and we do not need her again thank you!" He mumbled to himself while running.

Back to Lyra...

"Well that was nice. Maybe I'll find a way home. I'm beginning to feel a bit lonely." She trotted around in some more bushes to see if there was any signs of civilization. Unfortunately there was only birds and butterflies.

"Oh look brother a pony!" A jolly fat boy came running up to her from behind a tree.

"Oh my how very delightful!" Another came running in from the left. Lyra started backing away from these two. Where they dangerous? What the heck are they doing to her? And why are they so... fat?

"Hey back off!" She snapped at one who tried to touch her mane.

"And it can talk Tweedle Dee!" She looked over to the one who was standing on a rock.

"Are these seriously what humans are?" Lyra sighed. "And when I thought they were cool..."

"I beg your pardon!" The left said hooking his arm through the right one's arm.

"How very rude!" The right said.

"And for that we shan't recite our favorite song. The mare with golden eyes!"

Lyra sighed and started heading off with they stopped her.

"Are you from around here?" They asked.

"Uh no."

"Then you need to go to the castle!"

"No I don't..."

"Of course you do! You need to introduce yourself to the Queen!"

"I said I don't and that's that." She snapped and started trotting off.

"Oh dearie me brother it seems we've made that pony mad!"

"Whatever shall we do?" Lyra snapped. She couldn't take anymore of these people. She broke into a sprint and ran faster then a bullet down the lane. Running and running. Twisting and turning until she was far enough away from them. She broke into a trot and then just walked from there. She sat down exhausted from running. Until a big shadow loomed over her.

Super Lyra strikes again!

She turned around to see a massive white mansion. With a white rabbit running around like a headless chicken.

"Mary Ann? MARY ANN?!" The white rabbit opened windows and went through halls.

"Oh ho ho..." Lyra laughed. If I can get in there I can finally get him back... Hard. She thought. Well from the looks of it I'm gonna need a disguise.. She looked around for a few minutes and found a note pinned to an oak tree.

It read:
DEAR MR. RABBIT.
I have gone to market. To buy some meat. And no I'm not buying rabbit meat again.

Lyra grinned. This was her chance to get inside. She went around to the back of the mansion and found a washing line. She wrapped a white bed cover around her wait and trimmed it (with gardening shears.) to just cover her tail. She used the trimmings to cover around her head like a bonnet. Now she had to stand on two hooves. She has had a lot of practice with this and it was now useful. She got up and wobbled.

She stood for one second

two seconds

three seconds

four seconds

five seconds

six seconds

seven seconds

eight seconds

nine seconds

ten seconds

and I think you get the idea. She walked over to the front of the mansion and knocked on the door.

"Is that you Mary Ann?" The rabbit opened the door quickly. "Oh thank goodness! I can't seem to find my white gloves!" He pulled her in.

"I shall find them for you sir." Lyra stopped a growl just in time.

"Oh thank you I need them in a few seconds!" He then went close up to her face."Say, I've never seen seen you with golden eyes... and why do you look... green?"

"Oh I uh... Face paint! Yes there was face painting there a-and there was colored contact lenses."

"Right... Anyway we've gotta find my gloves!" He dashed down the hallway and into the dining room. Lyra however thought she could roam around. She went to the bedroom at the top. It was pretty hard getting up the stairs. Without falling. Eventually she made it and was the first to find the white gloves. She threw them out the window then started rummaging through the drawers.

She gasped at what she saw. Three miniature colored cookies! She heard the rabbit coming up the stairs. What could she do? Her bonnet was on the bed and her dress had drooped off. Her only choice was.. The cookies. Eating two of them her panic rose as she heard the rabbit right around the corner.

"Where is that girl?" He muttered as he burst open the door and nearly fainted. "How dare you sneak into my house!"

Lyra rolled her eyes. As if she was going to just walk out. "Well duh we're enemies..." She then thought. Time for some revenge! "And anyway.." She pinned him against the wall. "We aren't w-whoa!" Those biscuits may be small but my they can make her grow. Her hooves stuck out the window. "WOOHOO!" She laughed.

"She found my stash didn't she?" The rabbit sighed who was now holding onto a strand of Lyra's hair.

He's still here eh? Well time for some shaking! She ruffled her mane and shook her head wildly. The rabbit nearly was thrown into orbit. Luckily she stopped shaking and got up and went for a walk around.

"HELP!" The rabbit screeched. He caught sight of the dodo who was running along the track. "DODO!" He called. The Dodo looked up and had the same reaction as the rabbit. "HELP ME!"

The Dodo squawked and ran off faster then a rabbit.

"Don't try to stop me you stupid rabbit!" Lyra shouted. Her voice rustled trees (and even broke some!).

"Oh lookie there a carrot! I know you horses love carrots!"

Lyra thought for a minute. Well a snack would be nice. She levitated a carrot up to her eyes. It was microscopic for her. She levitated three more. Still couldn't see anything. She ended up pulling out all the carrots (and dirt.) and dipping them into the water to clean them. She swallowed them whole (and even if she did chew them it was like chewing air.). She suddenly started shaking. Her tummy started groaning.

"Ha ha!" The rabbit cried. Lyra's size went down.

And down...

And down...

And down...

Until she was her normal size. "OH MY GOD YOU STUPID RABBIT I'M GONNA KILL YOU AS SOON AS I GET MY HOOVES ON YOU! YOUR SUCH A TRICKSTER AND I HATE YOU OH MY FREAKING CELESTIA!" The rabbit knew (well, he had to) run. And he had to run fast. He scampered down a cobblestone path hoping the green mare won't follow him. Just when he thought he was safe...

"HI-YA!" Lyra jumped out of a bush and tackled the white rabbit. "I HATE YOU!" She gave him a good hard punch and dropped him. Fortunately it was to the stomach so he just couldn't breathe for a second or two. The rabbit wasted no time. He had to get to the palace. He jumped up and raced back down the cobblestone lane.

"Stupid stupid rabbit." Lyra thought about hitting Angel when she went home. She walked down the path staring at trees and smelling the flowers until she came across a box of flowers which had attitude (literally!).

Lyra started sniffing them until the purple flower spoke up and said

"Will you stop doing that?"

Lyra thought What the actual... But the red flower interrupted her thoughts.

"What an ugly horse!"

"I know its lime green.. yuck!" The yellow one chimed in.

But the blue one.... oh it was the worst of them all!

"Go jump in a lake weed!"

"YEAH!"

"Your so stupid!"

Lyra wasn't having it. She bucked the box so it went flying into a massive oak tree. She heard little squeals of pain but she was okay with that. She walked over and took away the box. Inside were four smashed flowers.

"YOU IDIOT! You ruined my lovely petals..."

"To bad!" Lyra chomped up the blue flower. The others gasped in horror.

"O-oh my g-goodness!" She stared down menacingly at the others.

"Who's next?" She laughed. The flowers cowered together holding each other closely. She opened her mouth to chomp another but a grey smoke ring floated past her. Curious she stamped on the rest of the flowers and followed the rings. She walked for miles and miles until she found the cause behind it. Sitting on a blue mushroom staring at the sky was the caterpillar blowing smoke rings out from his pipe lazily.

The lady and the caterpillar.

Lyra stared at the caterpillar who hadn't even noticed the unicorn yet. She coughed trying to grab his attention but he didn't even blink. "Hello." No response. "Hello!" She snapped. Still nothing. "ARE YOU BLOODY DEAF OR WHAT?"

"Oh good evening I didn't notice you ma'am." Lyra sighed.

Is he acting or is he actually this stupid? "Sup. I'm Lyra Heartstrings." She said bowing down.

"What is a beautiful mare doing around here?" he started raising his eyebrows. Was he... interested in her?

"I come from a land called Equestria. And I've seemed to have lost my way to the castle..." She stared at the blue caterpillar who was now coming towards her.

"Equestria... Sounds a beautiful place! I must say... has anyone told you how beautiful you are?"

"Uh well... Black Stone fancies me and... Noteworthy keeps on staring at me and now I think Apple Cinnamon is starting to get interested in me..."

"Oh but none of them are perfect for a mare like you..." He started picking up her hoof.

"Yeah I like Coco Cruso most of all."

"And does he like you?"

"I can't tell and-WATCH IT!" She slapped the wretched caterpillar away from her mouth.

"Oh but why can't I kiss you?" He smiled softly at her.

"W-wait... You like me?"

"Yes dear... I love you..."

"OH I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" She bucked the caterpillar away sending him flying into a mushroom.

"Wait!" But Lyra was already running through the bushes.

"M-Must make it to the castle..." She panted. She heard a pair of wings flying after her. The caterpillar landed in front of her. But instead he had two bright orange wings lined with charcoal black.

"Get back here my lady!" He flew up to her and pinned her down.

"Nope!" She teleported behind him and gave him an ULTRA SMACKDOWN!
To keep it short lets just say... He didn't follow her after that.

She headed west to see if the castle was there but saw something much more awesome. It was a mushroom. I mean not any plain old mushroom. It was a pastel pink that shone brighter the closer someone got to it. Lyra stared at the mushroom for what seemed like forever finally she decided to lick the mushroom. Since it was nearly touching any cloud that passed it in the sky she licked it on the stem.

"EEEW! Salty and sour!" She coughed and spluttered and wheezed and choked and gasped and lots of other words. Just when she thought she'd die her left hoof. It grew! Bigger then two mansions put together! Then her right hoof grew as big as the other hoof. When she thought she was going to be SUPER LYRA once more her body shrunk. I don't mean small... I mean smaller then this text!. And the worst part of all her hair turned lilac with orange streaks. All that hard work of dying her mane! Now she looked absolutely horrid! "What the..." Lyra stared at her body and her two hooves that were so freakishly massive. "I look so... weird..." She stumbled over because of the weight of her hooves. As she fell over she ate a white flower that was laying on the ground.

Her mane turned back into pastel green and the orange turned into white. Her oh so freakishly big hooves went smaller and smaller until they matched her body. And her body grew and grew until it was back to normal. She spotted a plant with the white flowers from before growing on it and decided to pick some of them. She then ripped a few pieces of the mushroom of using her horn and kept them as well. She had a pocket in her fur that appeared when she needed it. She wandered off again thinking she could eventually find someone who wasn't crazy or deaf.

She trudged through bushes and past trees. It seemed so quiet... yet full of life. Lyra wished Discord would magically appear and take her home. And he did. In her mind. She felt that if she didn't find someone or something her mind would explode. And it did. In her mind. But her mind exploded. In her mind. But her- You get what I mean? She nearly gave up hope until a mysterious figure appeared lying down on the branch of a tree.

"Hello there Miss." The figure spoke.

"What the... Who are you..." Lyra spun around to the tree but only to find nothing except a random shadow.

"Oh... They call me the... Cheshire Cat."

Oh look it's tea time.

"Cheshire cat? Huh..." Lyra remembered reading a book from Twilight's library stating cat's can be pets of humans and ponies. "So... Where's your owner?"

The cat's head appeared out of the blue and gave her an odd look. "Whats an... owner?"

"Well you know. Someone who looks after you. Feeds you, gives you a place to sleep! You must be lost."

"Lost?" The cat laughed as his pink and purple tail appeared behind him. "I know every single place in Wonderland!"

"You do?" Lyra said unsure.

"Well...." Lyra glared at him. "No not really... But you know... I know most places."

"No I don't know. Anyway I'll be leaving." Lyra turned and walked away from the tree but the magic head and tail followed her. She suddenly stopped and looked at the cat. "Hey... Do you know the way to the castle?"

"Indeed I do! But that will cost..." His paw appeared in front of her eyes.

"Screw that idea..." She muttered and turned away. The sun started to fade and Lyra had nowhere to go. "Damn it! I'll have to camp out." She said slumping against a tree. At least build a fire idiot. She thought and started gathering sticks around her.

"You know I can help you... But like before..." A paw appearing in front of her with a big grin behind it.

"No! Now get lost or something." She growled and went back to collecting sticks.

"Are you sure?"

"GO AWAY!" She screeched.

The cat purred softly. Hmm a little stubborn... I'll come back later... with that he vanished into the darkness.

Lyra breathed a sigh of relief. That darn cat was gone. Now she could rest in peace. She sat down next to the fire. Though it was bright she still felt chills rolling down her spine. Nothing she could really do about it. A small tear trickled down her green cheek.

"What would Bon Bon be up to?" She whispered curling into a ball and letting tears flow down her cheeks.

The sound of birds filled her throbbing head as Lyra awoke. Headache. Great. She started rubbing the sides of her head with her hooves but it only made it worse. The fire was out. Only a few bright embers inside of black ashes lay there. Lyra's stomach growled.

"Ugh. This is great. A HEADACHE AND A STARVING STOMACH!!" She screamed. The sound of birds stopped and the wind went down. "I'm talking to myself in the wilderness. I'm going crazy!" She cried once more. "Stupid mind."

The sound of crunching leaves filled the soundless forest as she walked along. If she didn't find another pony or human she'll go mad.

Then the sound of teacups clinking rung in her ears. Chatter followed as well. No time to rest! Get to the noise and get to it fast. She galloped down the path dodging branches that threatened to poke her eye out or well you know. Hurt her. Then in the distance she saw a long table covered with a white table cloth and full with cookies and teacups.

She jumped over the last bush that stood in her way and went for some cinnamon donuts. She scoffed down the whole lot and started moving onto the pop tarts until she noticed three figures staring at her with their jaws open.

"May I help you?" The first one said putting down his teacup. He was wearing a tall green hat with a piece of paper on the side saying 10/0.

"THIS FOOD IS DELICIOUS!" Lyra replied taking another bite out of her pop tart.

"WELL OF COURSE IT'S AMAZING!" Another figure said marching up to her. It was small and brown. A long pink tail and black beady eyes. A small dormouse stood in front of her. "I made it."

"Uh yeah whatever." She said gulping down the pop tart. "What is this celebration thingy even about?"

"We're celebrating our unbirthdays of course!" The first figure said. He was a small human with a big nose. And like the dormouse, beady eyes. "Everyone does it."

"Sweet! I wanna join." Lyra declared pulling out a chair.

"The more guests the more fun!" The figure walked over to her and bowed. "Pardon me I forgot to introduce myself. I'm the Mad Hatter. The dormouse is my friend and the white hare is another guest of ours."

Lyra stopped suddenly. Her eyes drifted over to the third figure at the end of the table. "You..." She jumped upon the table shocking the Mad Hatter and the dormouse who instantly dove under the table. "I HAVE SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS WITH YOU!" She screeched.

"O-oh look at the time!" He said holding up a smashed pocket watch. "I'm late!" He jumped off the chair and ran onto the tan path and scurried away.

Lyra's head throbbed with anger. Her cheeks were as red as tomatoes and her eyes were shooting daggers.

"So... Do you want some tea?" Came a voice behind her.

You see Lyra has been taking anger lessons recently so sometimes she can calm down quickly then go back to normal.

Lyra slowly counted to ten and listened to her breathing as she counted.

1... I want to kill him. Breathe in.

2... I don't care if anyone sees. Breathe out.

3... I'll rip out his organs. Breathe in.

4... It'll get messy. Breathe out.

5... Then I'll have to clean it all up. Breathe in.

6... I hate cleaning stuff up. Breathe out.

7... Bon Bon does all the work for me. Breathe in.

8... Maybe I'll murder him in a bush. Breathe out.

9... That way everything gets all over the leaves. Breathe in.

10... Perfect. That's a good plan. Breathe out. Lyra sighed and turned around to the Mad Hatter. She put on a big grin and said "I'd love some tea."

After all she can't execute her plan dehydrated.

Author's Note

Yes everypony I shall be working on the Lyra in Wonderland series again! Also the reason I said:

"O-oh look at the time!" He said holding up a smashed pocket watch.

Was because I'm pretending that they smashed his pocket watch before Lyra arrived there. Anyway thanks for reading! And expect more stupidity in the series. Bye!
- Appl3dashie.