Let's bring the princess back
To the director of the Solar Command and Lunar Aviation space agency.
An unfortunate event has occurred. My sister, Princess Luna, is now stuck on the moon, again. Do not ask me why. It was all her idea so when she gets back blame her for any costs. Okay, fine, it was my fault for sending her up there but… she could have told me not to try that new spell!
I am asking for the assistance of the S.C.L.A. for bringing my sister back. I’m pretty sure she’ll kick my flank if she stays there for more than a few days. And I’m pretty sure she’ll kick all of your flanks if she stays there for more than a few weeks so this operation must be engaged ASAP.
I am requesting the aid of a rescue team to recover Luna from the moon and bring her back safely. A team of three would fit my and Luna’s liking. We do not want a group of twenty ponies bumping into each other while trying to bring an immortal goddess of the night back, do we? My sister has something about ‘personal space’.
Thank you for your assistance. I am awaiting the success of this mission. And no, Luna can’t just fly back from the moon since zero gravity makes alicorn wings a bit harder to control. So get her back before she decides to collide the moon with Earth.
Sincerely yours,
Princess Celestia
October 24th
Spacecraft: Opportunity
Location: 400 metres above lunar surface
Operation: Save Luna’s Flank
“We have a visual on the moon. There’s no visual on Princess Luna just yet."
Two ponies heavily equipped with greyish astronaut suits were floating inside the small yet comfortable and rather spacious space craft. The third, was under the aircraft controls while the other two were preparing for search and rescue.
Space travel was always a great experience for each of the astronauts and as many times as they went up here, they would never get bored of the beautiful view space provided for them. Millions of stars and galaxies surrounded them, providing a stunning and beautiful view as the colourful starlight vista was perfectly mixed with the amazing luminescence coming from Celestia’s sun.
But there was no time to focus on the amazing sight. They had a mission, a mission where failure wasn’t an option. Yet again, what can go wrong?
“Closing in on the moon. We still have no visual on Luna, over,” One of the rescue members said with a slightly shaky voice.
A different astronaut noticed the rather shaky patterns in his voice and decided to ask him. “Hey, Float, what's wrong?”
Float, a light blue unicorn stallion turned to his friend. Finding it pretty hard to move as the cramped spacecraft walls and zero gravity made everything harder to do than usual. “Don’t worry about it, Zone, I’m just a little bit nervous.”
Zone smiled at what was bothering Float. He chuckled then patted him on the shoulder. “Everything is going to be alright, nothing is going to go wrong. Right, Drift?” Zone turned to the pony in control of the spacecraft.
“You always say that everything is going to be alright, Zone and yet you’re the one that always screws up probe landing,” she said before Zone crossed his hooves at the fairly true fact Drift pointed out. “Float, may I ask why you are nervous?”
“Well,” he scratched his head. “Do you think Princess Luna will be happy when she sees us?”
Drift thought for a little before answering. “Well, considering she has been trapped on the moon for one thousand years without doing anything all that time, she might be a bit bothered at anypony she speaks to.”
Zone floated closer to the two. “Drift has a point, we should really be a bit nicer and intimate when speaking to the Princess of the Night.”
Both Drift and Float nodded.
“Despite it all,” Zone continued. “I think Princess Luna will be quite happy to see us.”
“What does thou think thy is doing?!” Princess Luna shouted in rage as she saw the astronauts approach her.
Float looked at Zone. “So much for being happy.”
After briefly paying attention to what Float said, Zone turned back to Luna while doing a ‘calm down’ hoof gesture. “Don’t worry your majesty. We are here to help you return to Equestria.” Zone was now a bit nervous, he just realized that he has an extremely powerful angry demigod in front of him
“Does thou thinkest thou deserve to have the Princess of the Night ride in your flying space machine?!” Luna menacingly took a few steps forwards.
Float and Zone stopped bouncing forward on the moon’s surface shortly before looking at each other.
They both heard a faint hum. “What the hay is going on there? I can’t hold the space craft here forever,” Drift said from the space craft that was slightly unstable at the powerful magic waves that Luna omitted.
Zone decided to answer the transmission. “Yeah, we have a problem here. Luna is having a hard time… cooperating.”
There was silence. “Hello?” Zone tested.
“Yeah, whatever. Just fix the problem, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Zone looked back at Luna who still had an angry look painted on her face.
Zone nervously smiled. “So, your majesty, what do you want to do?” Zone suddenly felt like a complete idiot for actually saying that. Float looked at him with a ‘are you freaking serious?!’ a look which only made Zone very slowly slap his own forehead or helmet at the poor choice of words he spat out.
Luna looked very irritated. “Our sister sent us back to the moon, sent help, and now that help asks us what we want to do?!ART THOU SERIOUS?!” Luna slammed her hooves on the ground. “Does thou know what we needed to do here for a thousand years? We needed to play basketpebble with the moon craters and play magic rock paper scissors with aliens that never stopped bothering us!”
Float realized something. He turned to Zone. “Uh, Zone? I just realized something.”
Zone turned back to Float. “Huh? What is it?”
“How is she speaking with us? You know? Space? There’s nothing the sound can vibrate off to produce it.”
Zone looked at Luna then back at Float. He shrugged. “Magic.”
Suddenly and quite unexpectedly, Zone received a radio transmission from base. More specifically from Celestia. Zone could only hope that Celestia will take this well. He answered the call.
“This is Opportunity,” he said.
Through the radio, Zone heard the clear voice of non-other than Celestia herself. “Opportunity, how is the mission going?”
“Uhh, not good.”
There was a brief pause, a pause that, for Zone, lasted a bit longer than he expected.
“Could you specify for me?”
“Yes, your majesty. Luna is having troubles cooperating with Opportunity team and not following search and rescue planned procedures. She has not moved from her initial location.”
“I was afraid this would happen, please, pass the call over to Luna.”
Zone scratched the back of his helmet. “Uhh, your majesty?”
“Yes? What is it?”
“I cannot 'pass the call' to Luna, if I remove my helmet, my head might explode.”
“Well, then, can you tell Luna what I am saying to you?”
Zone suddenly had a horrible feeling about this, if Celestia’s choice with words on Luna isn’t… kind, something really bad might happen to him. What if Luna gets mad at Zone instead of Celestia? Since Zone will be the phone between Luna and Celestia. Well, there’s no way that Luna would hurt him but she might send him swirling around the moon six times until she gets bored.
“Ummm,” he looked at Float who was snickering. He couldn’t turn back now, after all, it’s just a simple mission, isn’t it? “Okay, ma’am. Tell me what you want me to say.”
After a few seconds, Zone walked closer to Luna in where there was only a couple of metres separating them.
Zone cleared his throat. “Umm, this is a message from princess Celestia.” Sweat already started to form on Zone’s face. “Princess Luna, umm,” he started to laugh nervously, “I need you to come back right n-now be-because, you have to… come back and… fix stuff…” Luna’s face was covered with confusion as she noticed that Celestia’s speaking patterns where a bit off. Zone was clearly trying to cut shortcuts to what Celestia was saying. Nevertheless, Zone continued. “And you need to do stuff here… and make ponies happy and random stuff like that kind of stuff… yeah… yay… woo hoo… that stuff is fun... yaay… Opportunity, stop making shortcuts… no don’t say that to Luna… what are you doing?! STOP REPEATING WHAT I’M REPEATING! NO! STOP! STOP! WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING?!” Only then, Zone’s slow mind noticed that those words weren’t supposed to be passed to Luna. “Oh, sorry your majesty… you’ll what? Okay… sorry… it won’t happen again.”
As Zone prepared to speak once again, he heard the transmission form into a buzz and then muffled voices. While he still could hear some of the incoming radio waves, Celestia’s voice was now non-existent. As he tried to regain connection, he saw Luna’s horn glow for a split second. He looked at Luna while he suspected that she was the one that cut communication.
“We do not want to hear our sister’s words through thy voice,” Luna said. “If our presence in the moon means my sister’s precious little servants needest to stay here as well, then we art not moving.”
Oh come on! This is like dealing with a kid! Zone thought
He's glance turned at Float, giving an ‘it’s your turn’ look. Luckily, Float understood the sign and stepped forward.
“So,” Float began, slightly nervous. “Is it true you played games with aliens?”
Luna rolled her eyes. “Of course not, the Princess of the Night does not believe in such life beyond our planet.”
Float looked surprised. “Really? For a pony that controls the position of the moon, I would think you would believe in extra-terrestrial life.”
“Extra-terrestrial life is no more than a myth. We hath searched high and low for centuries for any life out there and we hath not encountered such trivial beliefs.”
Float thought for a moment. “I would like to prove you wrong with that.”
Luna chuckled. “If thou can convince us that there is in fact alien life, we might consider returning to Equestria.”
“Got it.”
October 25th
Location: Canterlot Garden
“See? I told you everything was going to be alright.”
The three astronauts walked calmly around the Canterlot gardens as they talked about the mission they just recently accomplished.
“Yeah, and just in time, my M.E. filters were reducing in capacity,” Zone said.
“Hey, I lost communication with you five minutes after landing. How did you convince Luna to get to the spacecraft?” Drift asked as she turned to Float.
Float took a lick of his vanilla ice cream before answering. “Well, Luna told me that if I could convince her that aliens existed, she’d consider coming back, which she did.”
Drift’s face was full of curiosity. “Oh, okay, so how did you do it?”
“Since she and her sister control the sun and moon, I said that she, out of all ponies, should believe in alien life.”
“Why is that?"
Float took a few seconds then he looked at Drift with a smile. "Who’s controlling the other suns and moons in the universe?'”
Author's Note
And yet another fic including the princesses. I've been doing a lot of these lately, I guess it's because I find it fun writing comedy fics which include Celestia and Luna.
Well, hope you enjoyed the read!
