Magical Mystery Oops

by BookeCypher

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Discord, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 117363

Twilight manages to turn herself into a draconequus - now the only one who can help her learn to control her new chaos magic and change back is Discord. What could possibly go wrong?

Twilight Sparkle has spent months researching chaos magic, developing a new spell to unlock magic nopony has ever experienced before. But when something goes wrong with casting, Twilight finds herself turned into a Draconequus and unable to control her new chaos magic. If she ever wants to be a pony again, there is only one who can help her learn to control her new magic.

Of course, learning from Discord was never going to be simple. And after a while, being a draconequus doesn't seem so bad anyway....

Based on the concept by Lopoddity

Editing by DB_Explorer
Proofreading by Mac349 (Ch. 1-11), Trippy998, Just A Fabulous Cat (Ch. 1-5), Doctor Candor and skysthelimit (Ch. 1-11).

Published 2015-02-22 23:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-07 21:40:55 UTC

Too Much

"So," Discord began. "Chaos magic 101."

It had taken very little to actually convince Discord to help her out, and the walk back made Twilight realize the probable reason why. Her walk to Fluttershy's cottage had not been exactly subtle, even if just by virtue of it consisting of a draconequus walking through town.

Discord had summoned half a school carriage and started driving it down the street, a banner proclaiming 'Twilight Sparkle's First Chaos Class' trailing behind him. It was decidedly less subtle. On the upside, everypony had been too busy gawking to actually stop them.

Now seated in her basement laboratory (she had no interest in cleaning up a mess from Discord in any other room), Discord had donned - by which he was suddenly wearing - a martial arts gi and a blatantly fake mustache to go with his equally fake accent. "You must unlearn..." Twilight's volume of Starswirl the Bearded's 'The Physical Properties of Common Equestrian Magic' appeared in his hand, "...all that you have learned." And, with a flick of his wrist, he sent the volume flying out a window that slammed shut an instant later.

Twilight didn't even process the issue of 'window' and 'basement' as she rushed over and pulled the glass panes open, only to find smooth stone on the other side. "You can't just throw that out!" Twilight spun to face Discord. "That was a gift from Princess Celestia!"

Discord grinned at her as he held out a claw and the volume dropped into it. "Really now?" The gi and mustache disappeared and were replaced by a pair of spectacles as he started flipping through it. "Ah - so it was. She even signed it."

Twilight found her gaze bouncing between the window - which was no longer there - to the ceiling - which was as it always had been - and back to Discord - who was flipping through her book. "How… you… but…”

"First lesson, Twilight." Discord said as he snapped the book shut. "Cause and effect are no longer relevant beyond you-" He tossed Twilight her book, and Twilight scrambled to catch it. "-and whatever you just decided to cause."

"But you can't just disconnect them like that!" Twilight said.

Discord cocked an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Because that's fundamental!" Twilight replied, stomping a forelimb. "Cause and effect is why when you pour water into a glass, water flows down instead of strawberry glue. To disconnect the two means completely removing causality which means that you don't just break reality, you unravel spacetime. Completely. Forward and backwards."

"Only if you get lazy about it." Discord replied as he summoned his wingback chair again. "Cotton candy clouds and modified bunnies are safe enough - reality doesn't like it when you start changing what points are next to each other - and don't get me started about time." He gave a overdramatic shudder. "Egads, what a headache! You're lucky I like my visual gags!"

"So...you can mess with space and time." Twilight summarized as she clutched her book closer. "What about something more...direct? Can you make the effect precede the cause?"

Discord arched an eyebrow as a small grin spread on his face. "Now you've got it. It’s a devilishly hard trick - reality likes it even less than the space thing. It can also backfire horribly."

“So...breaking the relationship between cause and effect." Twilight sighed. "Where do I start?"

Discord snapped his fingers, and a few dozen apples rained down around Twilight's head. "You were on the right track earlier - vector changes are fairly simple. Once you get that down we can start looking at transfiguration."

"Wouldn't transfiguration be easier then reversing gravity?" Twilight asked.

"Reversing gravity just means you make the apple do what it wants to do anyway." Discord waved a finger and a few of the apples started dancing in the air around him. "Transfiguring means making it into something it isn't. Apples don't like that." He paused before adding "Neither do the bunnies, now that I think about it."

"But how does probabilistic manipulation let you change an apple?" Twilight asked, finding herself quickly jotting notes down in a little notebook with her quill… from somewhere.

"Well, that apple is, in fact, a didgeridoo in some reality." Discord replied. "It's that whole...branching timelines thing. You just make that apple and your apple the same thing."

"Interesting..." Twilight was jotting away furiously in her notebook. "What about-" She was cut off as a coil of rope wrapped around her muzzle and tied it shut.

"Less talking, more practice dear." Discord waved languidly at the collection of apples still sitting on the ground, bound by the cruel force of gravity. "We can talk about the fun stuff once you get the boring stuff worked out."

Twilight scowled at Discord and pulled off the rope binding her muzzle before turning to the apples. "Princess Celestia never pulled off anything like this."

"No, she didn’t." Discord replied as he idly flipped through a magazine. "She just sent you to some town to face down an ancient evil created from her own mistakes and didn't tell you about it." The draconequus shrugged. "But, hey - if you think she can help you out, send her a letter. I'm sure she'll be thrilled about this latest development."

Meanwhile, in Canterlot, Celestia sneezed.

Back in Ponyville, the one apple that Twilight had managed to get wobbling tumbled over as Twilight gaped at Discord. "Oh sweet- I haven't told her yet!" What calm she had managed to recollect since that morning evaporated as she once again entered panic mode. "What is she going to think?! I was tampering around with CHAOS MAGIC! She'll banish me to the moon. Or turn me into stone. Or turn me into stone and THEN banish me to the moon! I'm a draconequus for pete's sake! I'm-"

Twilight was cut off as Discord shoved one of the apples into her mouth. "You really do think too much." Discord sighed. "As far as I can tell, you are still Miss ‘Boring Stick-in-the-mud’, Twilight Sparkle. And as much fun as it would be, your darling Princess doesn't banish ponies nearly that often - and I doubt you qualify. So, stop with the panicking." Twilight stared at him as he went back to his chair and his magazine. "You're disturbing my reading."

"That...you..." Twilight took a deep breath. "I... I needed that. Thank you, Discord." Twilight paused as she processed what she had just said. "...Wow. That felt really strange to say."

"Imagine what it was like to hear it." Discord gave a little shudder. "So - what are you going to do? Your lesson or go running to your Princess?"

"For now?" Twilight replied. "The lesson. It will be better if I can inform her that I have the situation at least partially under control." She paused before adding "And besides, Spike isn't here."

"Where is the scaly little fellow, anyway?" Discord asked, lifting a hind-leg and looking underfoot as if he was worried he'd stepped on him.

"Helping out Rarity with restocking her shop." Twilight replied. "He was somewhat nervous about being here while I learned chaos magic." She shot Discord a knowing look. "I can't imagine why."

Discord shrugged as he continued flipping through his magazine. Twilight finally noticed the title - 'Woodland Wonders Weekly'. The name on the subscription sticker said 'Fluttershy'. "He was probably worried you were going to turn everything into tapioca pudding. I much prefer cotton candy, but you knew that." He tapped his magazine against his chin thoughtfully as he gazed up at the ceiling. "You think Tia would like me more if I summoned cake?"

"Since it still involves warping reality..." Twilight replied. "I'm going to have to say 'no' to that." She turned back to her apples. "Could I really turn everything into pudding by mistake?"

"Nah." Discord replied. "You aren't enough fun. Stop worrying and levitate some apples already."

Twilight turned her attention from the meddlesome draconequus and to the nearest apple as she once again stretched out the thin line of her awareness toward the fruit before she twisted gravity around it again. "Oh, inverting inertial reactions." Discord commented as the apple slowly drifted off the ground. "How droll. Still thinking in terms of actions and counter actions?" he shook his head. "Still, at least you got the idea of redirecting forces fairly quickly."

"Sorry I'm still thinking in terms of normal physics!" Twilight replied heatedly as she tossed a quill at him, which bounced off his shoulder ineffectually. "Unlike you, it’s what I'm used to."

Discord grinned at her. "You aren't nearly as sane as you like to think, my dear Twilight."

Twilight met Discord's gaze uneasily. "What do you mean?"

"Where did you get that quill, my dear?" Discord asked, slinking from his chair and wrapping around to behind Twilight. "Or that notebook?"

"I..." Twilight paused as she found herself unable to answer. "I got them from...or..." Her eyes went wide as the realization hit. "I don't remember."

"Luckily," Discord replied. "I do. You got them from the same place I got my lovely chair. You created them out of thin air."

Twilight turned to Discord, mouth agape as she she tried and failed to say something. Discord smirked as he gently closed her jaw with a single claw. "You, my dear, are a natural. At least, when you aren't thinking about it too hard."

Twilight swatted his hand away and glared up at him. "I don't want to be a natural! I want to be a pony again!"

Her purple eyes locked onto his yellow and red ones, but the chaos lord simply grinned. "It seems the latter will require the former." His brown furred body coiled around as he summoned a bundle of cotton candy into his right paw, sticky pink confectionery getting itself stuck in the grey fur from his head all the way down to his neck as he started to snack on it. "So I suggest you relax and try to enjoy it." He paused as his tongue snaked out and slid across his fur, cleaning up the pink mess before he idly scratched at his antler with a claw. "I know I am."

Twilight just glared at him for a moment, anger boiling. He was her only chance of her ever being a pony again. She could feel her foreclaws involuntarily clenching as she fumed and her tail twitched. He was treating this like a game! "This is not one of your pranks, Discord! This isn't a game!"

"Oh, yes it is." Discord replied, waggling a claw at her. "And it’s no filly’s game either. You want to drive yourself up the wall? Be my guest - I'll have my popcorn waiting."

"Does everything have to be a joke with you!?" Twilight yelled at the draconequus.

"I take things as seriously as I have to." Discord replied, inspecting his claws. "Which, in my case, is 'not very'." He pointed a claw at Twilight. "You asked me for help, and I accepted because I figured it would be a good laugh - you haven't disappointed. So, please, keep stressing out if that's what you want." A snap of his claws and a lounging couch appeared just in time to catch him as he flopped down. "Let me know when you actually want to learn something - having someone else with a proper grasp of chaos would be a nice change of pace, after all."

Twilight was almost certain that she could feel herself starting to combust. "You... you..." The chaos lord ignored her, opting instead to focus on adjusting his limbs. Why did she ever think this was a good idea? "Gah!"

Discord looked up from the wing he had started to preen just in time to watch the converted alicorn storm out of the room and down the hall, vanishing around the corner.

Discord stared after her before giving a sigh and tossing his cotton candy. "Mares." He dropped to the ground, hindhoof and hindclaw clicking on the crystal floor as he plodded after her.

One thing that Discord hadn't expected was the the sheer size of Twilight's new palace. She had let him poke around it for a little while, but after his house-warming gift of a vase of poison joke, she had stopped letting him come over.

Sure, so they caused random magical changes in ponies - but they were still absolutely lovely. And they went with the drapes as well.

Discord meandered around the castle, looking for his wayward student and cursing the sheer number of rooms to check. Really, who needed four libraries? Even by his standards, that was excessive.

He was about three seconds from turning the place into pudding and just eating his way through - Fluttershy's displeasure with rendering her friend’s house into dessert be damned - when he finally found her.

One of the few things the palace had more of than libraries was kitchens - whatever magical force built the place knew Pinkie's eating habits. But close behind was the balconies. He found Twilight out on one that gave a really quite impressive view of Ponyville, but it didn't look like she was enjoying it. "Tired of our lessons already?" Discord asked as he leaned against the doorway.

"Go away, Discord." Twilight nearly growled at him as she continued staring out over Ponyville.

"Oh, come on." Discord said as he undulated his way over to Twilight and prodded her in the side. "We were about to get to the fun part!"

"You're already at the 'fun part' aren't you?" Twilight replied morosely. "You get to watch me implode from my own stupid mistake. I'm sure you're loving it."

"Well..." Discord leaned back against the railing. "...I can't say that I'm not finding this highly entertaining, but then again so is that pink friend of yours."

"Why are you still even here?" Twilight asked, still gazing numbly out over town. "I figured you would have left me to suffer by now." There was a dull thud as she drummed her head against the rail. "I can't believe I was going to blame somepony else for my own mistake - even if it was you." She sighed. "I mean, it would be so much easier to just blame you for all of this, but it isn't - I thought I could deal with it myself, but I should have known better. That was the sort of thinking that led Celestia to send me to Ponyville in the first place. You'd think I'd remember a lesson like that, but..."

Discord rolled his eyes. "Oh stop it." Discord drew himself up. "Oh, woe is me! I've been turned into a pretty purple draconequus! I'm all lithe and curvy and soft and everypony will hate me! I'm an egghead who gets to reverse engineer an entire field of magic! Life is so cruel!" He dropped back down and gave Twilight a flat stare. "Really, you're worse than Tia."

Twilight finally tilted her head, a red and purple eye gazing up at him. "What?"

"What is with you Alicorns and the melodrama, anyway?" Discord continued. "I mean, sure its fun, but I am almost positive that none of you even know what 'fun' even is. So can we skip the boring bits here and just go back inside already?"

Twilight just stared at him for a moment before, slowly, a small smirk spread on her face. "You're doing it again."

Discord arched an eyebrow. "Doing what?"

Twilight turned and started back into the castle. "Being nice. Fluttershy has been a better influence on you than I thought." She was half-way through the door when something clicked. "Wait...did you say I was pretty?"

Discord froze, and quickly went through his options. Either casually dismiss it, or make things awkward for Twilight?

Well, that wasn't much of a question.

"What can I say," Discord replied with a lecherous grin as he drew closer to Twilight. "I haven't seen a female in three thousand years and you are quite easy on the eyes." Twilight gaped wordlessly, her face slowly shifting into magenta as Discord eyed her approvingly. "Sunbutt does have some nice curves - no doubt from all that cake - but nothing really compares to the supple form of a lady such as yourself."

"S-Stop saying ridiculous things!" Twilight managed to stammer through her embarrassment. quickly turning away from him and started back into the castle.

"Oh, yeah." Discord called after her. "Work that tail." Any further flirting was cut off as a chair went flying toward his head.

"Less stupid and more teaching!" Twilight called back down the hall.

"Sonofa-" Discord muttered as he dodged. "Did you just summon a chair!?"

"No," Twilight replied. "It was in the hall. Thumbs make a fair substitute for telekinesis. Now lets get going."

Discord sighed as he summoned himself a smoothie and followed after her. "Well, somebody is feeling better..."

They managed to make it back without any further furniture being thrown. Instead of heading back into the laboratory they had been before, Discord found himself led into what he guessed was the main library.

Three floors of bookshelves spread out in front of him, a broad staircase heading downward while the floor above formed a pair of ambulatories that circled the room, leaving the center clear for a massive crystalline chandelier. Twilight trotted straight down the stairs in front of her and to the reading area under the chandelier. "Nice place." Discord said as he looked around the room before turning to the broad table and the surrounding chairs - one of which Twilight was settling into. "Spend a lot of time in here?"

"Recently, yes." Twilight replied with a nod. "Most of my collection was either gifted from the Princess's after Golden Oak Library was destroyed or obtained as part of my research into chaos magic." Twilight sat a little higher in her seat. "You are sitting in the middle of the single largest dedicated research library in Equestria."

"And thus the egghead capital of the world." Discord added as he dropped into one of the lounge chairs. He glanced down at it for a moment. It was a dark reddish-brown, much like Twilight's own seat. "Tired of blue I take it?"

"Are we here to discuss my furniture or learn chaos magic?" Twilight replied. "So, where do we start?"

"Same place as before," Discord snapped a claw and an apple manifested. "With the only trick you have managed. So, how did you get the apple to float?"

"I managed to alter its vector in relation to gravity and made gravity pull it upward." Twilight replied succinctly. "Why?"

"If all you did was reverse gravity on it," Discord explained as he lazily levitated the apple above the table. "Then it would have just crashed into the roof. You left some of the original vector around to slow it down."

"Well, I guess I did." Twilight replied. "What's your point?"

"My point is you didn't think all of that out." Discord leaned forward and poked the apple, sending it floating toward Twilight. "You just tried to make gravity pull the apple up a little, and the magic took care of the rest."

"So you're saying what?" Twilight replied. "Chaos magic just knows how to fill in the blanks?"

"Yes and no," Discord replied with a shrug. "Like I said, reality doesn't like being messed with too much - so it tries to reassert itself. Makes undoing my changes pretty easy actually - just pull on the string and the whole thing unravels. It's the same with your spell - you only wanted to lift the apple a little, so you only redirected some of the force."

"That," Twilight replied, "is actually brilliant. Simple, but efficient - except for the part where the apple's own potential energy is used to lift it even higher, meaning that it then has even more potential energy to lift it even higher, so-" Twilight stopped as she felt a tea biscuit bounce off the side of her head.

"Yes, yes - I'm breaking causality and capable of creating a perpetual motion system." Discord grabbed another biscuit off his platter and popped it into his mouth. "If it makes it easier for you to not go cuckoo, the whole thing stops working if you stop putting any effort into it."

"That...only slightly helps." Twilight replied somewhat anxiously. "So - levitation?"

Discord shrugged. "You had the right idea before. Just do it again."

Twilight glared at Discord. "You call that teaching?"

"I believe in a 'claws on' approach," Discord replied as he stretched out on the couch. "besides, I need to see what you can do. Now hop to it."

Twilight grumbled but complied, turning her attention to the apple as she tried to replicate her earlier success.

That was, more-or-less, how Spike found them that evening as the sun began to set. There were a few differences - instead of one apple, there were maybe a half-dozen floating around Twilight. She was standing in the middle of the reading area, while a veritable flock of writing implements circling around her as Discord cackled from...somewhere. "Come on, you'll have to be more creative than that!"

"Would you stop taunting me and just do something already?" Twilight replied with a roll of her eyes. "You're just upset I managed to survive that quill barrage."

"You were supposed to dodge them!" Discord said indignantly as he swung down from the chandelier, hanging upside down in front of Twilight and staring her in the eyes. "Not transmute your apples into rock!"

"Diamond," Twilight corrected. "And it was just the surface coating."

"It's still cheating!" Discord replied with a haughty sniff.

"Discord," Twilight replied flatly. "There are no rules. You said so yourself."

"Still isn't very sporting." Discord said with a pout. "Also, your dragon is back."

Twilight turned from her argument to Spike, breaking out into a smile as she saw her assistant. "So, how was Rarity's?"

"Great..." Spike replied as he continued staring at the gleaming apples still bobbing around mid-air. "...so, it looks like you're having fun."

"Fun, right." Twilight replied as her ears folded back. She turned back to Discord, only to find him gone. She blinked in surprise for a moment before her frown redoubled. "First he tells me to levitate one apple - a diagnostic he said. Then he has me levitate six of them. THEN he starts plucking them out of the air and THEN he has the gall to admonish me for not keeping my apples floating properly! Do you have any idea how hard it is to come up with ideas to counter a lord of chaos?"

"Pretty hard?" Spike ventured.

"Very hard!" Twilight replied. "Luckily my diamond surface treatment seems to-" She was cut off as something shattered behind her.

"Look back at me!" Discord boasted. "My quills are now diamonds!"

Twilight groaned as she brought a claw up to massage her temple. "That was cheap, Discord." The falling chunks of apple stopped falling mid-air before flying back together and coalescing once again into an apple.

Discord blinked at the reformed apple, tapping on it with one claw and getting a soft 'clink clink'. "So is that!"

"Wow," Spike said. "You've gotten pretty good at this."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "I had to if I wanted to keep up with his-" The apples fell from the air as Twilight stopped dead.

Spike stared up at the converted alicorn. "Twilight?"

"I-I think that's enough teaching for the day!" Twilight exclaimed as Discord rolled his eyes behind her.

"Nice one, boya." Discord said as he picked up the apples. "She was on a roll too."

"Discord!" Twilight said quickly. "Go home!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Discord trotted past her out the door, munching on one of the diamond apples as he went. "I'm going..."

Twilight watched him go before shutting the door behind him as low chuckling echoed from behind her. "Something funny, Spike?"

"Nothing," Spike lied as he managed to get his laughing under control. "I'm just sorry I interrupted you - you seemed like you were having fun."

"Right..." Twilight replied as a quill and blank scroll floated over to her assistant. "well, the 'fun' is over and I have a message to compose - Spike, take a letter."

It was well into evening when the wisp of green flame drifted from Ponyville and into Canterlot Castle. It was a rare hour, in which both diarchs were up and about - one enjoying their first meal of the day, the other their last.

Given that Twilight usually sent her mail far earlier in the day, Luna was understandably surprised when a sealed scroll suddenly manifested from dragon fire above her sisters celery soup. "Mail? At this hour?"

"And from Twilight, no less." Celestia said with a frown as she stared at the scroll floating before her in an aura of magic. "This is...worrisome."

"Mayhaps she is just very excited about something." Luna suggested as she sipped her coffee. "Or is complaining about Discord again."

"Perhaps..." Celestia said as she cracked the wax seal on the scroll and unfurled it before she began to read.

'Dear Princess Celestia,
'I must somewhat sheepishly inform you that for the past several months I have been studying chaos magic through both my own research and observations of Discord.'

"Tia?" Celestia looked up sharply from the letter as Luna spoke, her sister's face displaying obvious concern. "You look troubled. Has something happened?"

"It is likely nothing," Celestia replied as she turned back to the letter, levitating her own tea to her lips as she returned to her reading. "but it seems that Twilight has been studying Discord and his magic."

Coffee sprayed across the table as Luna choked on her drink. "She has been what?!"

"I am sure it is nothing," Celestia replied as she sipped her tea. "Twilight has always shown the utmost caution." Luna started cleaning herself off as Celestia continued reading.

'After a great deal of work, I was certain I had devised a way to control his form of magic. The spell, however, had unforeseen consequences as...'

Luna was muttering to herself about coffee stains in her coat when she noticed that her sister had gone very still. "Tia?" Her sister didn't respond, staring wide-eyed at the letter in front of her as her tea cup slipped from her telekinetic grip and fell to the ground where it shattered unnoticed. "Sister, has something happened?" Luna asked as she rose to her hooves and walked around the table to where her sister was still sitting stunned. It was hard to tell through her white coat, but Luna thought her sister might have been a little pale. "Celestia, talk to me."

"S-She..." Celestia stammered as she pointed at the letter with one hoof.

Luna raised an eyebrow at that. Anything that could rattle her sister from her usually unflappable demeanor was something indeed. She turned to the letter and started reading it out loud. "Let's see - '...unforeseen circumstances as I have somehow managed to-'" Luna's eyes went wide. "'Turn myself into a draconequus!?"

"It gets worse." Celestia murmured, so Luna kept reading.

"'In light of these circumstances, I decided that the best course of action is to pursue instruction from Discord in regards to the use of chaos magic. I await your response. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle." Luna found herself staring at the letter for several minutes before she realized her mouth was hanging open. "Well," Luna said as she tried to recollect her thoughts. "This is a thing."

"A thing!?" Celestia replied as she finally snapped out of her stupor. "This is a potential disaster!"

"Oh, posh." Luna replied. "No matter who she learns from, Twilight Sparkle is still your faithful student, first and foremost. I doubt that Discord will be able to change that. I see no reason to worry about her being taught by him."

"That is not what worries me." Celestia replied as she stared at the letter. "A draconequus - another draconequus. Another being who can wield the power of chaos."

"A being that is also your protegee and a princess of the realm." Luna pointed out. "I don't think she will do anything rash."

"She won't." Celestia replied. "But what about her magic?"

Luna blinked. "I don't follow."

"There has never been, in the known history of ponydom, two beings who could wield chaos." Celestia pointed out. "Let alone two beings as powerful as Discord and Twilight Sparkle. We have no way of knowing what the possible ramifications are."

"So you believe that your prized pupil is going to rip a hole in reality," Luna summarized. "By accident?"

"Yes." Celestia replied with a nod as she started out of the dining hall. "I must-"

"You must sleep, sister." Luna said, cutting her off before she could reach the doors. "Your day has finished - if you insist on this matter, then at least allow me to organize things."

"This is my student, Lu-" Celestia started, but was cut off by a blue hoof.

"And my savior." Luna said levelly. "I would not be here today if not for her - you know that as well as I. You have just finished with court - please, let me handle this."

Celestia considered her sister for a moment. "You will have somepony wake me once things are ready?"

"As soon as I have the Court sorted out I will awake you myself." Luna replied.

Celestia stared at her for another moment before letting out a sigh and giving her sister a thankful nod. "Then I will be in my chambers, Luna." She paused part way through the door, "Perhaps I should send a letter before-"

"Celestia," Luna replied. "Go to bed."

Celestia gave her sister a wan smile. "Then I bid you goodnight, sister."

Luna watched Celestia leave for a moment before turning back to the table and the now forgotten meal. An aura of blue magic wrapped around the letter, carrying it toward Luna as she walked around the table toward it. "Oh, dear Twilight, what have you gotten yourself into?"

Stop This Game

The door to the Crystal Castle swung open with a low groan, letting the head of the estate through. Her purple fur, usually groomed to at least a presentable state, was now dripping wet. Clawed forelegs clicked along across the polished floor, leaving brownish prints as she went. her hind paws were leaving a very similar mess.

In all, Twilight Sparkle was not a happy draconequus.

"Ah, Twilight," Discord came around a corner a moment after his voice rang out, wrapped in a exceedingly fluffy pink robe, carrying a mug of tea he was in the middle of making in one claw. "having a pleasant day?"

"A week." Twilight replied flatly as she took a seat in the middle of her own entry hall. "It's been a week since that first cotton candy tornado and we still don't have a way to predict these events." She struggled to wring out her mane before giving up. "And now I'm soaked in chocolate milk! It's not even noon yet - it's going to take me all day just to get clean again!"

Discord rolled his eyes before snapping his claws. An instant later, Twilight went from svelte draconequus to an oversized fluffle puff as every drop of fluid in her coat decided it had better places to be. Twilight blinked in surprise before looking over herself as she smoothed out her coat. "...that is… huh. Why didn't I think of that?"

Discord shrugged. "Still thinking like a pony and not a proper purveyor of chaos." He took a quick sip of his tea. "So, still trying to predict these lovely little phenomena?"

"Of course I am," Twilight replied as she started past Discord and toward her library. "That's our primary job at the moment."

"According to you, maybe," Discord replied. "But I am here to teach you about chaos - which reminds me, why weren't you at my lesson yesterday?"

"Because I was in the library trying to figure out how to detect chaos magic," Twilight replied. "I can't be at every one of your 'lessons', Discord." There was also the fact that most of his lessons were usually just excuses for him to screw with her - trying to figure out how to remove an apple from inside a wine bottle without teleportation and without breaking the bottle was only a 'lateral' thinking puzzle up until she started getting pelted with cabbages.

But she kept that to herself.

"You never missed one of sunbutt's lessons, did you?" Discord asked as he sipped his tea in a decidedly normal manner - which, Twilight guessed, was about as weird for him as it could get.

"Princess Celestia was my teacher," Twilight pointed out.

"And what does that make me?" Discord asked as he slipped in front of Twilight, eyebrow raised expectantly.

Twilight shrugged. "An adviser, I suppose - as you like to point out, there isn't anyone better with chaos magic than you."

Discord grinned smugly at Twilight as he let her pass. "Miss Sparkle, You're trying to seduce me, aren't you?"

Twilight gave a noncommittal shrug as she stepped into the library. "If it would make you more helpful," Twilight replied as she started down the steps to one of the larger tables, "then yes." She paused part way down the steps when she realized she couldn't hear Discord following her. She turned around to find him giving her a quizzical look, an eyebrow raised.

"Not sure if serious," Discord said, seemingly to himself, "or just messing with me."

"Would you hurry up?" Twilight said with a sigh as she started down the row of shelves. "There's research to be done." Up ahead, a wheeled ladder as tall as the bookcases it leaned against rolled up and down the row, stopping every now and then so that its purple draconian operator could reshelf a book.

Discord slumped as he followed after Twilight. "Research - bah! You can't research chaos. The only way to know it is to do it!"

"I researched you, didn't I?" Twilight replied as she stopped at the base of the ladder.

"And look at how well that turned out." Discord said before, after a pause, adding, "You know, that didn't come out nearly as sarcastically as I expected."

Twilight resisted the urge to faceclaw and instead turned her attention upward. "Any luck, Spike?"

The dragon replied by sliding down the ladder, hopping off as he neared the bottom and landed in front of Twilight. "Nothing - I've looked under contagion theory, sympathetic magic, advanced thaumaturgy, even that 'spooky action' stuff that gives me a headache." Spike shrugged. "None of it works."

"Well, it has to be detectable in some way," Twilight replied as she slipped into a seated position. "How else would Discord have been able to know when I had transformed myself?"

"Or when any of that other crazy stuff happens that he shows up for," Spike added.

Discord looked up from his tea to find Twilight and Spike staring at him expectantly. "What? I already told you that I can't predict all of it." He took another sip of his tea with a shrug. "It’s all too...minor."

"Wait, back up," Twilight said as she gesticulated. "You never mentioned that before - you mean you can, actually, feel these events?"

"Yes and no," Discord said with a shrug. "Does a unicorn feel every little twitch of magic around them?"

"Of course not," Twilight replied. "It’s like how you don't hear your own heartbeat usually - your mind filters it out."

"And I filter out most of those little bouts of chaos," Discord explained. "Most of it just isn't worth it - lost left socks and misplaced house keys. It's all got a pattern and I only hear the interesting ones."

"Interesting..." Twilight had already grabbed a blank scroll and started jotting down notes. "I know that the strings represent lines of interaction, but you make it sound like more than that."

Discord rolled his eyes as he dropped himself onto an empty couch. "It is more than that - if you were paying attention to my lessons like a good student, you would know that though."

"So, what are you feeling from the strings?" Twilight asked, seemingly oblivious to Discord’s complaint. "What sort of sensory feedback form does it take?"

"Tasting color," Discord replied as he sat up, "You aren't even paying attention to me, are you?!"

"You said I don't pay attention to your lessons," Twilight replied. "I might if you helped with my research like I asked."

"Don't go changing the subject!" Discord shot back. "This is about you ignoring me. I'm as useless for research as that dragon over there is for fighting a rain of space-fungus."

"Hey!" Spike said indignantly.

"Ignoring you would require that you actually have authority over me," Twilight pointed out.

"I'm the lord of chaos." Discord pointed out.

"Princess." Twilight countered as she pulled another book over. "Now, help me figure out the carrier vector for chaos magic and I might consider indulging you."

"Indulging..." Discord echoed as he gaped. "I'm trying to help you!"

"And the fact that it lets you order me around on occasion has nothing to do with it, I'm sure..." Twilight said dryly.

"Nothing!" Discord said, before adding after a pause, "Okay, maybe something. A lot of something. But not all of it. Part of it is showing off and keeping Dear Fluttershy happy."

Twilight flipped her book closed as she turned to Discord. "Aren't you a noble soul. Discord, I'm grateful for the help you've given me so far, but if things are going to keep going like this then you might as well just go back to Fluttershy's."

"You know," Discord replied after a moment, "I think I might."

It took a moment for Twilight to actually process the statement. "Wait, what!?" Her head shot up from her book to scan around the room, but all she managed to see was the tuft of Discord's tail disappearing around a corner. "Hey, wait!"

Twilight bolted for the door as her one decent source for information on chaos magic walked out on her. "Discord, would you-" She stopped as she rounded the corner and found it empty.

She stared down the empty corridor as Spike poked his head around the corner. "Huh," he said after a moment. "you know, I keep forgetting he can do that."

"Me too," Twilight sighed, "me too." Slowly, she turned and started back into the library. "Come on - if books aren't going to solve our problems, then it's time to start experimentation."

"How are we going to experiment with chaos magic without, you know," Spike asked, "the lord of chaos?"

Twilight snapped her claws and an orange manifested in her waiting claw. "We still have me - I might not be as powerful as Discord, but I should be sufficient." She did her best to ignore the small crack that was still echoing around the room - a side-effect of the void where the fruit had been suddenly filling with air. She still couldn't figure out how to stop that - it never happened to Discord, but that particular trick hadn't come up yet.

Spike studied her for a second before shrugging. "If you say so. So - list time?"

"List time." Twilight said with a nod as she levitated the orange and started toward a table. If Discord wasn't going to help her, well, there wasn't anything she could do about it. All she could do was hope for the best. "First things first - parameters for the experimental protocol..."

The next few hours were spent running through Twilight's main scroll supply as ideas were suggested, elaborated on and eventually discarded in a steady rhythm. Twilight could feel a familiar twitch working its way into her eyebrow, but she did her best to suppress it - maybe the next one would work!

The line was less reassuring the fifty-seventh time.

Both the draconequus and the dragon were so engrossed that they didn't notice the knock echoing from the front door, even with the castles rather exquisite acoustics. Similarly, neither of them noticed a familiar purple-maned unicorn who had let herself in coming around the corner.

"Oh, Twilight," Rarity sing-songed as she stepped into the library, A white foreleg sweeping a sunhat off her head. "I just heard the most unusual rumor from-" She stopped as she took a look around the library. Most of the floor was covered with snarls of scrolls, intermixed with the occasional broken quill or emptied ink pot. "...oh my..." A low thumping from somewhere in the sea of paper interrupted her gawking, and after a moment of following after it she managed to find her purple friend as well as her little assistant.

Twilight was slumped over a table, scrolls scattered around her as she pounded her head against the wooden surface in a slow rhythm. The papers around her bounced dramatically upward with every thump before falling back to the table an instant later with a rustle, just in time for the next thump.

Thump.

Rustle.

Thump.

Rustle.

"Twilight, dear, are you alright?" Rarity asked with worry.

"No, Rarity," Twilight replied, though her voice was somewhat muffled since she hadn't bothered to raise her head from the table. "no, I'm not."

"Is this about what happened with Discord?" Rarity asked as she dusted a layer of papers off of one of the chairs. She glanced across the table to where Spike was splayed out across the table, a scroll draped over his face as an improvised sleep mask. "Fluttershy told me that he had popped back into her cottage this morning, but I am a little light on the details..."

Twilight tilted her head just enough to stare up at Rarity with a red and purple eye. "Something like that - we had an argument about... well, I guess my brother would call it 'chain of command' - he thought he was in charge."

"And you think you are?" Rarity questioned.

"This is my project after all," Twilight stated, "why would I not be in charge?"

Rarity chuckled softly, "My dear, I have been over to Fluttershy's often enough for our spa days to know that the only way you can be 'in charge' of Discord is with blatant bribes or harsh stares."

"And I can't really pull off the latter," Twilight mumbled as she finally pulled herself up into something resembling proper posture. "But he was trying to order me around like he was my teacher!"

Rarity blinked at that. "I thought he was."

"He explains the mechanics of chaos magic, yes," Twilight replied, "but that is the full extent of his position - completely advisory. If he is going to keep interrupting my research, then it is better that I continue without him."

Rarity took another look around the room before turning back to her friend. "Really, now?"

Twilight sighed as she shuffled a few nearby papers around. "I will admit that I've hit a bit of a...roadblock trying to design an experiment - variable isolation is proving problematic."

Spike snorted from where he was laying on the table. "That's an understatement."

"Care to elaborate, dear?" Rarity asked as she settled in for what would no doubt be a very jargon-heavy monologue. Her friends were always there for her, so the least she could do was let them vent on occasion even if she only understood around half of it. Or, as was usually the case when Twilight was venting, less than half.

"I'm trying to isolate whatever it is that lets Discord detect chaos," Twilight explained. "which should, in theory, be easier than it sounds - not a great deal seems to interact with chaos, so I don't need to worry about noise like I do with a thaumascope. But the problem is on the other end of the system - I can't maintain isolation between generation and detection."

"I'm afraid I don't follow, dear." Rarity said.

"I'm trying to use my chaos magic to create something similar to a spell matrix that will react to ambient chaos magic. The issue is that I don't have a way to test it properly since the only one here who can create chaos is me."

"Well, I could send my sister and her friends over if all you need is chaos," Rarity said with a shrug. "But I take it that it is not that simple?"

"I can't use my own magic for the test since my magic is also the detector - it's like..." Twilight tapped her chin for a minute as she thought it over. "...if something gets dropped, which are you most likely to catch - something you dropped yourself, or something your sister drops?"

"I think I take your meaning," Rarity said with a nod. "You think that since both are from you that there might be a sympathetic response?"

"Exactly!" Twilight replied before adding, "Most ponies don't catch on to my metaphors that fast..."

Rarity shrugged. "You tend to remember a few things on magical theory when you use magic to make clothing every day - that is, if you don't want to spend your mornings pulling an angry sweater off of your face."

"Right..." Twilight replied after a moment, not quite understanding. "...anyway, since using my own magic for both tasks would contaminate the results, I need somepony else to handle part of the experiment..."

"Then go talk to Discord," Rarity suggested. "You've been working with him for a week, haven't you?"

"But it's Discord!" Twilight protested. "He is completely uncontrollable! He thinks he's better than everypony else! He doesn't follow the scientific method!"

"Well, I'm sure you can teach him the last one," Rarity replied. "The other two - well, like I said, you managed to work with him for the last week."

"It's not that simple, Rarity."

"Isn't it?" She asked as she rose from her seat. "Since it looks pretty simple from my point of view. You both having something the other wants - tit for tat, darling."

Twilight turned to Rarity as the unicorn started out of the Library. "What under Celestia's sun could I have that Discord could possibly want?"

Rarity stopped as she reached the doorway, giving Twilight a little shrug. "I honestly haven't the slightest clue, but like you said, he is almost impossible to control. I don't imagine he would have stuck around if there wasn't something in it for him."

"Yeah," Twilight said as she slumped in her chair. "messing with me."

"Darling, he can do that anywhere," Rarity replied with a wink as she started down the hall. "So what would need him to be here?"

Rarity's hoofsteps faded into the background as Twilight considered her friend’s words before giving up. "Spike, any idea what Rarity was talking about?"

"Not a clue," Spike mumbled from under a thin layer of paperwork. "Twi? I can't feel my claws."

"Take a break, Spike," Twilight replied as she rose from her seat. "I'm going to go for a walk and… clear my head. You want me to grab you anything?"

"Yeah, three large sapphire cupcakes with everything, no opals on one," Spike replied before adding. "and a ruby turnover."

Twilight chuckled softly as she started out of the library. "You got it. Enjoy your break, I should be back soon."

"Take your time," Spike mumbled back with a languid wave. "I'm not going anywhere."

Either Discord had gotten bored again or she had been inside longer than she thought, Twilight decided when she noticed how low the sun was. She really hoped it was the latter, since the former would make any further research rather problematic.

With little idea of where else to go other than 'about', Twilight started toward Sugarcube Corner to buy Spike his well-deserved pastries. With the threat of dairy-based rain no longer looming, it was a lovely day and Ponyville was as lively as it ever was. A few ponies gave her a wave as she passed, and Mayor Mare even spared a glance up from whatever the pony next to her was showing her to give Twilight a quick nod. The mental flexibility and adaptability of Ponyville never ceased to amaze her, and their ability to adapt to a second draconequus just drove the point further home.

In fact, Twilight mused, that could be just as interesting to study as chaos magic itself. After all, this town was located closer to a major Wildlands - in this case the Everfree Forest - than any other major settlement in Equestria. Detrot further south had to contend with megafauna more often, but its valley was otherwise fairly mundane.

Yes, she had plenty of observational data on hoof for a baseline, and she could gather more besides. It would be a simple matter of introducing new stimuli and timing how long it took them to return to baseline activity levels! She would need to talk to Mayor Mare about getting access to tax revenue to track economic impact... and, technically, if she wanted a valid result she would need to run the same tests on a second town. Appleloosa would work, or Dodge Junction - both were near enough that logi-

No, Twilight scolded herself, no experimenting on local populations.

Twilight dismissed the thoughts of potentially unethical scientific experimentation long enough to notice that she had arrived at her destination. In any other situation, Sugarcube Corner was borderline impossible to miss - life-sized gingerbread houses tended to catch one's eye no matter how often one had strolled past it. Science, however, allowed no distraction.

The lunch rush had long since dispersed and the evening crowd had yet to gather, leaving the bakery in a rare moment of quiet.

A crash from somewhere further inside the store drowned out the small chime of the bell over the door as Twilight entered. Well, she corrected herself, as quiet as a place could be when Pinkie Pie was employed there.

She gave Lyra a wave and the mint-colored unicorn giving an energetic wave back. Across from her, Bon Bon was nursing a blue and pink milkshake that matched her mane and sporting her usually dour expression. It didn't seem to dissuade Lyra as she returned to animatedly conveying whatever story Twilight's arrival had interrupted.

Twilight left the two to their conversation as she approached unoccupied front counter. A quick glance around showed nopony and nothing but a plate of day-old pastries (two bits each!) and a small bell. With little other recourse, Twilight tapped the bell.

"Hiya, Twilight!" Twilight recoiled as her bouncy pink friend suddenly manifested out of seemingly nowhere. "What can I get you and- oh."

"Oh?" Twilight replied as she pulled herself off the floor. "Why 'oh'?"

Pinkie's curly pink mane bounced as she shrugged. "I was sort of hoping Discord was following you around - he's so funny!"

"Yes, well,” Twilight replied. "He and I haven't been on speaking terms since this morning."

"Fighting over who's in charge?" Pinkie asked as she cleaned a spotless milkshake glass with an equally spotless rag as she leaned against the counter. "Surprised you didn't cash in that favor he owes you."

"If I force him to help, he'll be worse than useless, and-" Twilight paused as she realized something and quickly turned to her friend. "How did you know we had a fight?"

"Paying attention," Pinkie replied. "Duh - anyway, don't worry about it. You guys will be buddies again in no time!"

"What makes you so sure of that?" Twilight asked, though part of her didn't want to know. Some things were just better taking on faith.

"Its too early in the story, obviously!" Pinkie replied. "But you didn't come in here to listen to me be a chatty chatter-box - you came here for pastries! What do you need?"

"Uh..." Twilight took a second for her brain to catch up with her hyperactive friend. "Three large sapphire cupcakes, no opals on one, and a ruby turnover."

"One Spikey-wikey reward platter coming up!" Pinkie said before literally diving into the display case. Twilight wanted to point out that such behavior couldn't possibly be sanitary, but she couldn’t manage to form the words. Instead, Pinkie's voice chimed up again, muffled slightly by the glass. "So, what is your plan to fix things with him?"

"Who said anything about fixing things?" Twilight replied, perhaps too quickly.

"You wouldn't be moping around town if you weren't bothered by something," Pinkie replied as she tossed a few gem-coated cakes into a box. "So, whats the plan, el capitan?"

"Right now? Find an alternative to Discord," Twilight replied as she eyed a crepe sitting in the display. "since I'm pretty sure I can't get him to come back."

"Can't or won't?" Pinkie asked as she dropped the box of pastries onto the counter. "Also, that'll be forty-seven bits. I'd put it on your tab, but Mrs. Cake got mad since I didn't have a ledger which is weird because ledgers don't have tabs, they have lots of columns and that was what I told Mrs. Cake and then she just stared at me for a moment and then she revoked my tabbing privileges."

Twilight stared at her friend for a moment. "You know, I haven't tried testing you..." she gave her head a quick shake. "no - too many unknowns. Let me just..." she paused as she reached back only to realize that she hadn't brought her saddlebags. "...shoot. Hold on." Twilight rubbed her claws together before snapping one. There was a small 'wumph' of displaced air as still-sleeping Spike suddenly appeared on the counter, clutching Twilight's coin purse like it was his Rarity plushie. "...huh," Twilight said after a moment. "that didn't even go wrong the way I expected it to."

"That was so cool!" Pinkie said as she hopped up and down excitedly as Twilight carefully freed her purse from the small dragon's grip. "Do something else! Oh - can you teleport Gummy here? No, wait - Mr. Cake said reptiles in the bakery was against health codes after he found Gummy sleeping next to some bagels on the warming rack... what about your brother? Or my sister! OH - what about-"

Twilight stopped her as she dropped a claw-full of bits onto the counter. "Pinkie, its probably best for their health if they stay exactly where they are." Last thing Twilight wanted was to accidentally teleport somepony, sans skin.

"Right..." Pinkie nodded as she counted out the bits before sliding three back to Twilight. "So - can't or won't?"

"What?" Twilight asked as she carefully levitated the box of confections along with the young dragon onto her back.

"With Discord, silly!" Pinkie replied. "You said you can't get him back. Can't or won't?"

"I mean...a bit of both, I guess." Twilight replied as she found herself caught off-guard. Ponies were so used to Pinkie's wild antics that they tended to forget that she could, with surprisingly regularity, be surprisingly cognizant. "I mean, I sort of told him he might as well leave, but after this week I'm not sure if we can actually work together."

"And he actually left?" Pinkie replied as she returned to cleaning her milkshake glass. "I'm surprised - you're the only one that lets him get away with any chaos at all."

"Other than Fluttershy, you mean." Twilight replied as she tossed her coin purse onto her back, where Spike quickly returned to clutching it without so much as stirring. She would have just teleported it back, but considering how it arrived she didn't want to risk sending it straight into a volcano or something.

"Not really," Pinkie replied. "I keep asking her to let me play with him, but she's always like 'no, we shouldn't encourage him' and that sort of thing."

Twilight blinked. "Really?"

"Yup!" Pinkie said with a nod. "She lets him do a little bit, but nothing like what you guys did for your training!"

"Huh," Twilight said after a moment, "that never even occurred to me." She shifted the loads on her back before giving Pinkie a polite nod. "Thanks, Pinkie."

"No problem, Twi!" Pinkie replied with a cheerful wave as her friend departed the bakery. "Thanks for visiting Sugarcube Corner - come again soon!"

The bell over the bakery door chimed again as Twilight stepped outside and once again into the afternoon sun. She still couldn't think of what to do, so she just started back toward the castle via the most scenic route possible. Curse her and her inability to do nothing! Maybe she should take lessons from Rainbow Dash - that pegasus never missed a chance to take five. Then again, she would probably take a lot of breaks too if she trained as hard as Rainbow did and ran the weather patrol. Rainbow worked in bursts, where as she - hello Rainbow - worked almost constantly. Her brain couldn't shut itself off - even those spa days Rarity sometimes managed to convince her to go on...

Wait.

Twilight stopped and looked up at the blue pegasus who was hovering about a meter overhead and smirking. "Rainbow?"

"Twilight," Rainbow Dash replied, still smirking. "I think you're scaring your neighbors."

Twilight blinked. "What?"

"You were thinking out loud again." Rainbow replied. Oh. Oh dear. That...should be embarrassing. Funny, she didn't feel embarrassed. Was that normal? What was normal anyway? She was a draconequus, after all.

"Hey, Twi," Rainbow waved a hoof in front of Twilight, snapping the draconequus out of her thoughts. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," Twilight replied as she tried to get her thoughts in order. She was finding it unusually difficult. "Just have a lot on my mind."

"Well, maybe I can help with that," Rainbow replied. "Mind if I borrow Discord for a bit?"

"He's not a tea set," Twilight replied, "I can't just lend him out... and he's not working with me right now anyway."

"Oh. Darn." Rainbow replied. "What’s he doing right now?"

Twilight shrugged. "No idea - we had a fight and then he left. He's probably at Fluttershy's." Twilight turned to her friend. "What did you need Discord for, anyway?"

"Wanted him to make me an obstacle course to fly through." Rainbow replied. "I saw some of the stuff you guys made the other day and thought that it would be awesome for a practice course."

"So why ask me?" Twilight asked as her friend touched down next to her.

"Since I figured if you told him to help me you could make sure he didn't... I dunno," Rainbow waved a hoof vaguely. "Alphabetize my organs or something."

"On the upside," Twilight replied casually, "Your autopsy would be really easy."

Rainbow paled slightly. "And now I wished I had just asked Discord. Thanks for that mental image, Twi."

"I could make your obstacle course, you know." Twilight suggested. "I might not be as good with this chaos magic as Discord, but-"

"No offense, Twi," Rainbow replied as she gave her friend an apologetic look, "but you aren't nearly as fiendish as he is. I mean, yeah, you're clever, but Discord is like a Daring Do villain."

Twilight wasn't sure why the first part of that conversation she focused on was that Rainbow Dash had just used the word 'fiendish', but there you go. She quickly moved on. "Sorry Rainbow, but I've been having a very… odd day. Talk to me tomorrow and maybe I can help you out."

Rainbow gave her friend a jaunty little salute as she took wing again. "Sure thing - but I'm telling ya, you need Discord!"

Twilight watched her friend fly off, most likely to a less-interesting-than-hoped training session and sighed. She was doing that a lot, she realized. "She's right," she said to nopony in particular.

She needed Discord - she had worked out that much the day of her transformation. What she didn't realize was just how right she had been at the time - and how right Rainbow was now.

Twilight was still standing where she had been when Rainbow had flown off as the dragon on her back stirred to life. Spike woke to find himself one, in the middle of town; two, on Twilight's back and three, Twilight was repeatedly faceclawing. "Uh...what's going on?"

"I messed up, Spike." Twilight replied as she stopped and stared off toward the lowering sun. "You'd think I'd have learned by now..."

"Well, everypony messes up," Spike replied as she hopped off her back, stretching before he noticed the pastry box. "that's how you learn, right?"

"Well, I don't know if I can fix this one, Spike..." Twilight replied. If somepony had sent her off like that, would she accept an apology?

Probably, but she was really bad at holding grudges. Discord was the current reigning champion for holding a grudge, though getting locked in stone for a millennium is likely great motivation for revenge.

"Not like it can hurt," Spike replied as he tossed the first cupcake into his mouth, chewing on it for a moment before swallowing and turning to Twilight. "Wait, what did you do?"

Twilight chuckled as she levitated her assistant back onto her back. "I yelled at Discord, remember?"

"Oh. Yeah." Spike looked haunted for a second as he recalled the sea of scrolls. "So, are you going to, uh, try and get him to help you again?"

"Nope," Twilight replied as she started forward - she finally had a destination in mind. "I'm going to see if we can help each other."

Experiments for Hangovers

The small cottage on the edge of town was, in all, rather inviting. A small, babbling brook flowed out front, and the myriad of feeders and birdhouses decorating the trees and awnings meant that the air was filled with the constant melody of gentle songs. Even the dappled sunlight that filtered through the branches overhead helped give the place a serene, comforting atmosphere.

Which was probably why Spike was utterly confused as to why Twilight had been standing outside, staring at the house for a solid five minutes as if it was a dragon's lair. "You alright, Twi?"

"Just...working up to it, Spike," Twilight replied as she took another calming breath.

Spike arched an eyebrow. "It's Fluttershy's. What's there to work up to?"

She decided against trying to explain the source of her hesitation, mostly because she wasn't sure of it herself. It was just apologizing for making a rash decision – she'd done that plenty of times. Like that time she thought she was going to fail Princess Celestia and enchanted her Mr. Smartypants doll, which she still couldn't find, though she thought she might have spotted it at AJ's once, but that made no sense so she—

Right, still avoiding things.

She'd apologized before. They were usually awkward, sure, but never really difficult. She could only assume it was some underlying mental block related to the fact that she was faced with the dilemma of dealing with one of the few beings she could think of that would probably not accept her apology.

"Twilight?"

Right, still stalling. "Sorry, Spike. Let's go." She crossed the small bridge over the brook and went up to the front door. Her claw was a split-second from knocking when the door swung open of its own volition.

"It's only been a week, dear!" Discord shouted behind him, his head rotated further than it possibly should have. "I think I remember how to take care of the chicken coop." His head started twisting back to a more normal-ish position as he muttered, "Fluffy little buggers. Lucky I don't just turn them into pillows or..." He trailed off when he noticed Twilight standing in front of him. A few expressions shot across his face so fast that Twilight wasn't sure what they were, but he eventually settled on his usual smirk. "Here to ask me for help again, oh mighty Princess Sparkle? Surely, you're getting tired of this."

Twilight was certain that at least some part of her mind had been putting together a detailed proposition to give to Discord. She was certain it would have been logical, concise, and perfectly shaped to bribe him back to working with her.

Instead, what came out of her mouth was "Does Fluttershy really not let you use your magic?"

Discord closed the door behind him with a sudden slam as he jerked in surprise. "Where did you hear that?"

"But why would she do that?" Twilight asked, for the moment ignoring Discord's question. "And, come to think of it, how can she even enforce that?"

Discord gave her a confused stare. "—Did you somehow miss the part where I nearly destroyed Equestria three times? After Tirek, she took away my 'fun' privileges. And as for how." He shrugged. "She's my friend."

"That's my point," Twilight said, well, not quite at Discord, since she was staring at some point somewhere above his head as she thought out loud. "I could understand doing that if you were dangerous, but you obviously aren't. Sure you're annoying, rude, and completely ignorant of the scientific method, but not dangerous. Besides, Luna has almost destroyed Equestria twice as Nightmare Moon, and after the second time we’re not even bothering with monitoring her for a relapse. You got dumped into a town that is home to the Elements of Harmony. And with Tirek, I'm pretty sure I would never have worked it out if it wasn't for all those notes you left in our journal, so that should balance out." She gave a small nod to nobody as she returned her gaze to Discord. "Anyhow, that not what I was—why are you staring at me like that?"

Discord—and Spike as well, for that matter — were staring at Twilight as if she had just sprouted wings (she had seen that look before). Discord opened his mouth to say something but interrupted himself as he turned to look at the front door. An instant later, it swung open as a mane of pink hair poked out.

"Discord, if you—" Fluttershy cut off mid-sentence when she noticed that he was right in front of her and, thus, yelling wasn't required. "Discord, what are you—oh, hello, Twilight." The yellow pegasus gave Twilight a soft smile as she leaned around Discord. "Can I help you with anything?"

"She was here to ask me for—" Discord was going to say 'help' but was once again cut off by Twilight.

Though, this time was rather more forceful as the purple draconequus was suddenly very, very close to him as she carefully examined his coat. "How did you do that?"

"Hey!" Discord snapped as the other draconequus pulled up one of his legs and started running a claw up its length. "You want to poke around down there, you buy me dinner first!"

"Oh, oh my." Behind them, Fluttershy began to blush as she watched two of her friends get far closer than normal on her front porch.

Twilight seemed to pay no mind to the scene she was making as she worked her way back up, prodding at Discord's torso. It was subtle, but the strings radiating out from Discord—those same strings of potential that had faded into the background over the last week—were all vibrating softly now.

"How did you know Fluttershy was at the door?" It wasn't sound as Fluttershy made as much noise as a sighing mouse. Twilight was fairly sure it wasn't scent, and she could only think of one reasonable answer. "Was it a string effect?"

Discord finally managed to push Twilight back a few paces. "A what?"

"Those strings," Twilight gestured at one, though after a moment she realized that only two of them could see them. Unless... "You see the strings, right?"

"I think the phrase is 'duh'," Discord replied. "And I just knew, so stop poking me!"

"But you said you couldn't sense anything." Twilight continued to ignore Discord's complaints as she kept examining him. "Maybe because you care more about Fluttershy than the anomalies that are spawning. But I care about the anomalies, so if it's psychologically influenced, why can't I sense them? Unless..."

Twilight trailed off into indeterminate mutterings as a familiar blue and multichromatic pegasus descended toward the house. "Hey, guys, what's..." Rainbow Dash trailed off as she noticed Twilight effectively wrapped around the other, and she noted larger, draconequus. "Jeez, Twilight, if you were coming here anyway I would have just—"

"I need you!"

Everybody, pony or otherwise, went silent at Twilight's little exclamation. Her eyes were locked on Discord's, and a look that could only be described as 'manic' was quickly spreading across her face. "I need you right now!" She took a quick glance around. "Wait, not here, aha!" She snapped her claws, and an instant later both draconequi vanished in a burst of sparkles.

There was a brief moment of silence before Rainbow Dash threw up both her hooves and started to fly away. "And I'm gone again."

Twilight, however, was paying little mind to whatever psychological trauma she had incidentally inflicted on her multichromatic friend. Why would she, when there was science to be done?

A split-second after vanishing from the front of Fluttershy's cottage, they appeared in one of her basement laboratories, or as Pinkie liked to call them, her 'fungeons'. An array of candles lit themselves of their own accord as she teleported in, paying the woozy draconequus behind her little mind as she immediately darted toward one of her work tables. "That," Discord muttered as little Fluttershy's flew in circles above his head, "is far more disorienting when I'm not doing it..."

"Oh, hush," Twilight muttered as her claws danced across the workbench. Reading had found nothing, and her own notes had come up short. This meant there was only one recourse, research! A tingling shock coursed through her at the thought, a energizing bolt that sent her claws working even faster as she pulled together everything she would need. Yes, that spark of insight when she saw Discord was just what she needed, and she wouldn't let it escape! The vision before her mind’s eye had affixed into crystalline clarity. It was so obvious now! All she needed was—

"You're monologuing, Twilight," Discord chimed in behind her.

Oh, was she?

"Yes, yes you are."

Oh, oh well. What did it matter? There was knowledge to be had! A little excitement was reasonable. Nay, it was expected!

She darted around the chamber, pulling gems and wires and whatever spare clockworks were lying around as she quickly started modifying her existing equipment. The thaumascope hadn't seen much use since she had strapped Pinkie into it, but with a few modifications, it would be perfect for what she had in mind. It would be faster if she had help, but she had teleported without Spike and was in no mind to head back for him. She would have to make do. "Discord! Hand me a 3/17 occipital left-leaning Heterodyne wrench!"

"I don't even know what that is!" Discord exclaimed, "Besides, I still haven't decided if I'm actually going to help—"

"Third wrench from the left, second row!" Twilight shouted as she pulled a panel of the side of the contraption she was working on and stuck her head inside. "Now!"

Discord was halfway across the room before he realized what he was doing. It took the other half of the trip to the tool rack and its neat rows of hanging tools for him to actually ask why he was doing it. "Wait a minute, why am I—"

"Hurry up!" Twilight shouted, her voice muffled as it echoed from inside the console.

"I'm moving. I'm moving!" Discord snapped as he plucked the wrench from where it hung and started back over to the enthusiastic scientist, muttering the entire way. "Ungrateful purple..." He dropped the wrench into a waiting claw that quickly vanished into the consoles interior. "Happy now?"

Twilight's head emerged from the console a moment later, her mane sticking out in disarray as she turned to Discord. "Very, now come on! I need your help with the rest." She grabbed hold of his wrist and dragged him around to the other side of the contraption, talking rapidly as she pointed to various parts of the device. "So, I had to change out the entire conversion matrix since none of it was configurable to your bio-rhythms, it was designed for ponies after all, and I also went ahead and replaced the gauge mechanism entirely instead of leaving the modified monopole system that I had installed, so that should reduce the quantization noise I was getting with my spells before!" She turned to Discord with an excited grin on her face. "Great, right?"

"Uh," Discord hesitated for a moment before answering. "Sure?"

"Great!" Twilight chirped happily. "Now sit down!" Twilight gave him a sharp shove from behind, and she didn't bother watching to make sure he fell into the chair she had made sure was waiting behind him. The soft 'oomph' was enough. She was pretty sure he was about to say something, but it sorta turned into a yelp as the restraints on the chair sprang to life and quickly pinned him in place. "So, now that the equipment is finished, I need to run about 1.21 jigawatts of arcanoelectric energy through your body and see how you react, okay?"

"You want to—" Discord didn't get to finish as a helmet that looked disturbingly like a colander with wires jutting out was shoved onto his head.

And then Twilight threw the switch. Either way, a second later his headwear was the least of his worries.

Twilight dutifully took notes as Discord thrashed in his chair. Well, actually, it was more like he was oscillating in his chair; she'd have to compare it to the power readings later. Sparks danced across Discord's coat, including some rather impressive arcing between his horns. She briefly wondered if that was normal but dismissed it quickly. She had seen him take his own head off before. He'd no doubt live.

The machine gave a small ping an instant before it stopped energizing Discord. A few wisps of smoke curled off the tip of his horns as he groaned weakly. "Ugh," he mumbled after a moment. "Tastes like....coconuts..."

"Oh, hush." Twilight admonished him as she took a look at the print-out the machine was now spitting out. "It can't be any worse than having a piano fall on you." She left Discord where he was as she pored over the printout. Now that she had the chance to examine him properly, working out the cross-interaction patterns was trivial. "This is fascinating. Your physiology shows autonomic reactions at almost every level. Your entire body is like a giant chaos magic tuning fork, and any part of you maintains the properties even when detached. Perfect!"

"That’s lovely," Discord replied flatly before rattling his arm restraints. "Now can you untie me?"

Twilight blinked a couple times as she stared at Discord. "Oh! Right. Sorry." She quickly made her way over to Discord and started undoing the restraints. She was partway through the second one when she said, "Actually, why didn't you just pop out of these yourself?"

"I can be restrained you know," Discord replied as he rubbed at his wrists. "Otherwise, I would have popped out of that statue ages ago." He paused for a second before pulling the colander off his head. "So, any reason you went into your Madness Place, or is this just a normal thing?"

Twilight fidgeted nervously as Discord stared at her. "Sorry, I just got over-excited. It’s not usually this bad though."

Discord studied her for another moment before chuckling and pulling her close and proceeded to give her a noogie. "Just good to know something can get you out of that boring little shell of yours, other than defending yours truly against those mean princesses."

"You realize I'm a princess as well, right?" Twilight replied as she futilely tried to escape Discord's grasp.

"But you are the nice one," Discord replied as he started to simply cuddle up to Twilight. She glared at him, but all that got in return was a smirk. Of course, he was just doing it to annoy her. "You know," he continued as he rested his head atop Twilight's, "defending me, asking me for help, keeping me involved in your hobbies." He faked a small sniffle. "It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside..."

"You are impossible," Twilight muttered as she gave up trying to free herself and simply resorted to ignoring Discord.

"And now you're flattering me too!" Discord nuzzled one her ears. "How sweet."

That was the scene Spike came home to, Twilight standing in slack-jawed surprise with a glassy gaze while Discord simply hung off her, laughing his tail off. "So," Spike said after a moment, "Did I miss something?"

"Oh, nothing much," Discord said with a shrug without letting go of Twilight. "Just Twilight Sparky here going full-on madgirl on me."

"Okay," Spike replied slowly. "And you're cuddling her. Why?"

"Why, she's just so fluffy!" Discord nuzzled against Twilight's mane some more. "She so fluffy I think I might expire."

"Okay then!" There was a burst of purple light, and Twilight suddenly re-materialized on the other side of the room, attempting to smooth out some very ruffled fur. "That’s enough messing with Sparkle!"

Discord had already collapsed into a cackling mass of chaos spirit on the floor, his usually annoying grin plastered on his face as he wiped a tear from one eye. "Enough messing with you? Never, my lovely protégé.”

"Have you worked that out?" Spike asked as he trundled down the stairs. "Or were you busy doing—" He tried to figure out the right words before giving up and settling on, "—stuff?"

"I think she was busy feeling me up, to be honest," Discord said with a shrug that left Twilight gaping again for a moment before she started to get visibly indignant. Discord interrupted her before she could get going. "I need a place to actually do some proper chaos, and you need help with chaos magic. Sounds like a fair trade, doesn't it?"

Twilight's mouth snapped shut as she glared at Discord, not taking her eyes off him as she pulled over a chair and sat down. "It’s more than that," she replied. "Helping me is more than just teaching me chaos magic, it’s actual research. Spike can only help so much since most of this is original research, which means I need you to actually help in my studies. As for what you need, Celestia and Luna still don't trust you, and neither does a lot of the town."

"And you've been so good and defending me against them," Discord replied as he pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes. "It’s really quite touching." He tossed the handkerchief away and gave Twilight his best unamused stare. "What's your point?"

Twilight shrugged. "You need to show you can actually be..." She trailed off for a moment, "Well, I guess Celestia would call it 'a productive member of society'. If you're helping me, a princess, with my work, then that will make you look quite good."

"So you're offering me a chance to get everypony off my back and make some proper chaos?" Discord asked. "What's the catch?"

"No catch," Twilight replied. "I'll even attend your lessons. All you have to do is what I said: help me with my research."

"Hrm,” Discord considered it for a moment, pacing back and forth. "No trying to boss me around again?"

"As long as you don't try and boss me around," Twilight replied, before nervously adding. "This last week has been, well, a bit of a mess. It would have been much more prudent to try and work out a schedule collaboratively then attempting to overrule each other."

Discord considered the purple draconequus for a moment before extending out a claw. "We have an accord then."

Twilight considered the paw warily before slowly accepting it. "Well, that was easy."

"My dear Twilight, you act as if I don't want to help you," Discord suddenly pulled Twilight close, throwing an arm over her shoulders. "And really, you just offered me a way to justify causing chaos for the greater good! What more could I ask for?"

"Okay, first stipulation," Twilight cut in, "no collateral damage, and no using my work to justify doing whatever you want. You want to pin something on me, then you run it by me first."

"Fair enough," Discord replied. "What about our little lessons?"

"We can work out a schedule later." Twilight removed herself from under Discord's arm and turned to Spike. "Can you fetch me the jeweler's kit as well as that mobile gauge field reader we broke last week?"

"Sure thing, Twilight." Spike gave her a quick salute before heading upstairs, once again leaving Discord and Twilight alone. Together. In a basement full of restraining devices and all sorts of other fun toys Twilight had.

No, Twilight was not thinking of how she could use all of them on Discord.

Okay, maybe a little, but not like that. She swore.

"So," Discord drawled. "Now what?"

"Now I need a tissue sample from you." Twilight replied calmly.

"Okay then, how—" Discord's reply quickly turned into a string of very peculiar expletives as Twilight yanked out a few hairs from his mane. before walking over to her work bench.

"Thank you for your cooperation," she said with only the smallest hint of a smirk as she placed the hairs down and examined them under an over-sized magnifier. "Now, I just need to confirm that they react appropriately." She glanced around the room for a moment before snapping her claws. An instant later, a pencil sharpener on a nearby table sprang to life and started trying to eat pencils. Twilight turned back to the hairs for a moment, giving a few thoughtful 'hrms' before snapping her claws again and the pencil sharpener once again became inert. "Discord, could you do something similar on my mark?"

"You want me to create chaos?" Discord replied, glancing around at he guessed was a lot of expensive everythings, "In here?"

"Just a little bit," Twilight replied calmly without looking up from her observations. "I need to ensure the hair reacts to your chaos the same way it does to mine. So, on my mark, do something. I don't care what, as long as it's small-ish and harmless."

Discord stared at Twilight for a moment. "Okay then. Sure. When you're ready."

"On my mark then," Twilight said. "Three, two, one, mark." There was as soft snap of claws and a moment later a small 'ha!' from Twilight before she looked up from her magnifier. "The reaction time was exactly the same. That means we can rule out sympathetic..." She let the sentence trail off before finally saying, "What are you doing?"

On the other side of the room, Discord was watching as a small army of quills went to battle with a similar army of pencils. Well, perhaps army was the wrong word. Platoon, perhaps. Discord looked up from the little battle at Twilight's question. "Oh, me? Just doing what you asked."

"Well, you can stop now." Twilight finished as she turned back to the hairs and almost immediately lit up again. "Based on the delay in reaction from casting, it seems your hairs don't care about who created the chaos. Perfect!"

Spike returned before Discord could ask just what was 'perfect' about it, and the small dragon was set upon by the purple draconequus and quickly stripped of his burden. Twilight paid the two of them no mind as she quickly went to work, leaving the two to watch her go about her task. "So," Discord asked as he leaned closer to the dragon. "How long...?"

"When she's like this?" Spike replied with a shrug. "It usually takes her about an hour to truly warp the laws of nature."

"Done!" Twilight exclaimed as she stood up suddenly.

"Guess she was just sort of poking the laws of nature then," Discord replied with a shrug as he turned to Twilight. "Done with what?"

"I call it the Entropic-probability-decay-function-detection-meter-of-science!"

A trumpet suddenly appeared and sounded a fanfare in Twilight’s face.

Twilight glared at Discord for a moment, who just gave a small shrug before tossing the trumpet away. "So, what is it?"

"It’s a chaos detector." Twilight replied as she held out the small device. It looked like a cross between a compass and a snow globe with a needle hanging inside it, gently tapping against on side of the sphere in a little staccato rhythm. It took Discord a moment to realize it was tapping in the direction of his still in-progress writing implement battle. "See, I knew you could detect chaos somehow."

"How by my glorious tush did you manage this?" Discord muttered as he poked at the small contraption. "It’s ridiculous! It’s impossible! It’s-"

"A way to quantify local chaos effects?" Twilight suggested.

"Exactly!" Discord replied. "It’s just wrong!"

"Well, it’s wrong and going to help me with my research." Twilight replied as she fiddled with something on the side. "It took some work, but I managed to work in a filtering mechanism based on my earlier readings. The first version would periodically ping you and myself."

"Wait," Discord asked, "How many versions did you make?"

Twilight shrugged. "Seven."

"You were only working for fifteen minutes!" Discord exclaimed.

"They weren't all separate versions, obviously," Twilight said with a roll of her eyes. "I didn't have enough material for that." She turned to Discord and gave him a smug grin. "I told you if it interacts with the world, I can observe it."

Discord gave the bauble in her claw a poke. "I am almost certain this should be impossible."

"The impossible just takes me a little longer." Twilight replied. as she set meter down. "Admit it, you're impressed."

Discord nodded. "Quite."

Twilight rolled her eyes, "Come on, I know this is-" She paused as she actually realized what he had said, "Wait, what?"

Discord leaned back in a chair as he considered the other draconequus. "You are a lady of singular ability, Twilight Sparkle. I'll admit when I first agreed to help you, it was for my own amusement. But now? Now I find myself ever so curious as to what we can make together." He grinned as he summoned a fedora and placed it atop his head. "I'm gonna make you famous, Twily."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "The hat makes you look ridiculous. Now come on, I want to field test the meter." Twilight gave another snap of her claws, and the room behind her started re-sorting itself until it was once again nearly spotless. "Spike, take a memo. I need to dismantle the modified Thaumascope later and properly document its design. Do you have spare scrolls for field notes?"

"And ink and quills," Spike replied. "So, what’s the plan?"

"Hopefully,” Twilight began, "observe some of these anomalies. Otherwise, I was thinking of trying to map out that entropic field around the Everfree forest. I think I can use the readings I made from testing Discord to extrapolate out a quantification metric so that I can—" She paused as she looked over her shoulder at Discord. "Well?"

Discord looked up from his miniature battlefield. "What?"

"Let’s go," Twilight tapped her foot impatiently. "We agreed that you were going to help with my research, and this is part of my research."

"Oh," Discord replied as he polished a claw against his coat, examining it leisurely as he leaned against a table. "I dunno. I have been through a rather traumatic experience with you experimenting on me and all. I thought I'd stay in until I was back in a proper state of mind."

Twilight stared at him flatly. "You are never in a proper state of mind."

"So this might take a while," Discord said with a shrug as he lounged back. "Still, don't wait up for me. Have fun collecting molds and fungus or something."

Twilight bristled for a moment before taking a calming breath. Getting mad wouldn't do anyone any good. Time for a different tactic. "You sure you don't want to come?" She asked as she walked over to Discord's couch. "It will be right up your alley. I assure you."

Discord rolled over and gave her an unconvinced stare. "They’re trees, Sparkle."

Twilight nodded. "Trees and the largest concentration of ambient wild magic this side of Canterlot. Pony magic holds no sway over the area. Weather manages itself; animals and monsters run rampant; and plants found nowhere else prosper." Twilight tapped her chin as she thought about it. "Actually, if we could figure out a way to, well, I suppose 'regulate' would be somewhat impossible given the nature of wild magic, but if we could find a way to work with or around it, then the pharmacological rewards alone would be staggering! Truth Bloom could be distilled and used for all sorts of counter-intrusion systems! Poison Joke could lead to entirely new fields within the transformative magics discipline! And that’s just the plants we know about."

She wasn't even looking at Discord as she started to realize the possibilities. "And then there's the creatures themselves! The properties of Manticore and Hydra biologics are almost completely undocumented. Theories have been postulated about venom properties, but getting a manticore to cooperate, if you're anypony but Fluttershy, is ridiculously lethal. And then there's the forest itself! Who knows what sort of mechanism results in it generating its wild magic? A find like that could put me in the history books! Again!"

Twilight found herself giggling at the ideas, but she didn't care. There was science to be done! "Between the two of us, we could rewrite, well, not the whole of magic, but a lot of it. And add a few new books to the stack." She blinked as she noticed Discord staring at her, one eyebrow quirked. Twilight coughed nervously as she recomposed herself, pointedly not making eye contact with the draconequus.

"A-Anyway," She managed after a moment, "The Everfree Forest is basically a giant playground for chaos. It seems like the sort of place you would enjoy. I'm actually surprised you don't head out there more often."

Discord considered Twilight for another moment before giving a shrug. "Maybe I just didn't have the right tour guide." He leaned back as he pulled out a pair of sunglasses and donned them. "So, lead on."

Twilight blinked in surprise. "Really?" All things considered, she was sort of expecting things to go less smoothly. Nothing with Discord went smoothly. It was a stabilizing factor of the known universe.

Discord glanced over the top of his sunglasses at her. "Miss Sparkle, you can be ever so persuasive." He rubbed his paw and claw together as he chuckled. "Besides, you have proven to be singularly capable of making almost anything interesting. This is gonna be a gas!"

He let up on the chuckling for a moment, tapping at his chin before snapping his claws. A moment later, the couch bucked a little before it started waddling toward the door. "Only catch is I'm bringing my couch. Walking is so passé."

Author's Note

Fun fact - this would usually be the half-way point for one of my stories. This time? Not so much.

Day Tripper

You know what? Couches were surprisingly useful in the field.

Well, assuming it was magically animated. Which theirs was.

Twilight paused mid-stride as she looked up from her meter at the couch in question. "Those ones are fine, Discord - I can ask Zecora to help me with the analysis later."

"Right, right," Discord said with a languid wave as his couch tottered to a stop. Since departing, it had gained not only a sunshade, but a cup holder, hooks for hanging equipment from, and a fold-out table and seat on the back for Spike, on which the small dragon was currently seated as he scrawled down readings as Twilight shouted them out. "I thought you said there was poison joke out here?"

"Among other things," Twilight replied as she studied her meter. "Spike - take a note. Reading is currently at three point six six."

"Three point six..." Spike trailed off as he tapped one end of the quill against his chin. "Three point six six what? We sorta need a unit of measure."

"Good point," Twilight replied. "The reading seems to be a measure of string oscillation per second in proportion to amplitude."

The couch stopped briefly as Discord lowered his sunglasses enough to look at Twilight. "You're in Equestria - speak Equestrian."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "There is a fixed ratio between how fast the string vibrates and how much - so, if we assume an oscillation rate of once per second, that should give us a meaningful measure of displacement compared to its baseline that we can use as a quantization metric."

Discord blinked. "That was Equestrian?"

"I can put a number to how much energy is passing through the strings," Twilight replied. "I have a definition, just no name."

"Fnord."

Twilight blinked. "What?"

"Its a Fnord." Discord replied. "You count them one Fnord, two Fnord, then you stop since there's only two."

"No there isn't!" Twilight replied, waving the meter at him. "I'm currently reading more than three and a half!"

Discord reached down and plucked a flower, fiddling with its pedals idly. "Three and a half what?"

"Three and a half Fnords." Twilight replied. "We were just talking about this!"

"F...N..." Behind her, Spike paused his writing. "How do you spell that?"

"F-N-O-R-" Twilight cut herself off, "...no, we aren't calling it that."

"Why not?" Spike said with a shrug. "You did say he was the chaos expert, didn't you?"

"But it sounds...it sounds..." Twilight grasped for words before settling on, "unprofessional!"

Discord snorted. "Says Miss 'I'm gonna turn myself into a draconequus and seduce my friend's roommate’."

"I am not seducing you!" Twilight shot back.

"And that's terrible," Discord replied as he finally pulled himself off the couch and stretched. "Relax, Twily - if Rainbow Dash can make a name like Rainbow Dash cool, you should have no trouble making people take 'fnord' seriously." He paused as he looked around. "I thought you said there would be poison joke."

"There is," Twilight waved a claw in vague direction as she examined her meter. "Go look for it yourself - I could use some samples anyway."

"Divide and conquer, eh?" Spike replied as he hopped off of his seat. "If you're going after poison joke, then I think I'll stop by Zecora's."

Twilight blinked. "But according to Discord, we're immune."

"You're immune," Spike replied. "I'm not. I like my scales exactly how they are - if you're going near that stuff, I don't want to be anywhere nearby."

Twilight giggled softly before nodding. "Fine, fine - have fun. And get me some of her tea while you're there! My stash is almost out."

"Yeah, yeah..." Spike gave a languid wave as he disappeared into the woods toward Zecora's.

Twilight watched him disappear into the woods before turning around. "Okay Discord, lets-" She paused as she noticed that she was alone in the clearing. "...huh. I guess he went after those flowers." With her assistant gone, Twilight summoned out a spare scroll and quill and let them levitate along behind her, jotting down notes as she went further ahead.

Her first visit to the Everfree had been without a doubt one of the most pivotal moments of her life - it had also been utterly terrifying. After days of studying with Zecora, exploring the Castle of the Two Sisters, and learning about the general botany, the forest had lost a great deal of its scare factor. The fact that she had enough magic to fry a small Hydra also helped. (Not that she'd ever do such a thing - Fluttershy would be heartbroken. Or furious. Probably both.)

In short, Twilight paid the woods around her little mind as she trotted along through the trees, eyes glued on her meter as she read out readings and her magic'd quill jotted them down. When she reached another clearing, she brought the scroll over to take a look and frowned. "Ugh - this writing is atrocious." She turned and glared at the quill floating next to her. "I should have brought Spike with me - this is barely legible!" The quill actually looked somewhat apologetic as is bobbed mid-air, but otherwise didn't respond. Twilight turned her gaze back to the scroll with a sigh before she rolled it up and tucked it away. "Okay - I think I have enough readings for now. Time to go find the..."

Twilight blinked as she looked around. Having been in the forest on several occasions, she was quite familiar with many of its landmarks. She didn't see any of them. Nor was she quite sure of exactly what direction she had come from. Not watching where you were going was generally a poor idea, especially in the Everfree.

Twilight gulped nervously as she glanced around quickly. "Uh-oh." That bit about the forest not being scary? Yeah - she took that back.

"Okay Twilight," She tried to assure herself. "Just stay calm and teleport yourself to Zecora's. No problem." Twilight took a deep breath to calm her nerves before channeling her focus into the familiar spell.

All she got in return was an unfamiliar fizzle.

Twilight stared at her claw for a moment. "It didn't work? Why didn't it work?" Did she miscast it? Was it something about chaos magic? Maybe something to do with the Everfree - if anything was going to be capable of interfering with chaos magic, the Everfree Forest was certainly it. Perhaps wild magic-

A low, keening howl cut through the woods. A glance above showed gray clouds starting to gather. Getting out of here, right.

With little other recourse, Twilight picked a direction in random and started back into the forest. Gnarled tree roots and low vines threatened to steal her balance at any moment, possibly leaving her in the middle of a hostile woods with a twisted ankle and unable to escape any of the creatures that lurked within. She wondered if hydras found draconequus tasty.

A sound from a nearby bush made her freeze in her tracks. Twilight slowly turned toward the offending plant as her heart pounded in her ears. Her whole body tensed as whatever it was drew closer, until...

Discord stumbled out of the woods into the clearing, muttering to himself as he tried to shake of a vine that had wrapped itself around one his ankles. "...yeah, first its 'oh' and 'ah', but then there's running and screaming..." His train of thought was cut off as Twilight tackle-hugged him.

"Oh thank Celestia you're not a hydra!" Twilight exclaimed as wrapped herself around Discord.

Discord blinked owlishly. "...should I be?"

"Absolutely not," Twilight replied as she finally relaxed. "I wasn't paying attention while I was taking field readings which is really silly since I need to have geographic points to properly correlate the data but by the time I thought of that I was already lost and I tried to teleport out and my magic didn't work and then I started hearing sounds even though it was all probably just in my head and I started panicking and I thought I heard a hydra and-"

"Twilight," Discord croaked out, "I can't breathe..."

"Oh!" Twilight released her death-grip on Discord. "Sorry. So... how do we get out of here?"

Discord rolled his eyes and snapped his claw. After a moment of nothing happening, he looked at his own claw with mild surprise. "...huh. That's new."

"I told you," Twilight replied with a roll of her eyes as she started walking. "Magic isn't working - might be worth looking into once we're no longer lost."

"But that's your magic," Discord replied as he followed after her. "I'm special, remember?"

"Yes," Twilight replied. "You're very special - now come on. I'd like to be out of here before dark."

Discord shrugged. "Just keep walking and we'll get out eventually, right?"

"Fair point." Twilight replied with a nod as the pair picked a direction semi-randomly and started walking. Not randomly, mind you - she had made sure that it wasn't a direction either of them had come from. "Though, given the Everfree is one of the largest parcels of wild lands in Equestria, we might be walking for a while."

"Pish posh," Discord replied as they stepped around a rather sinister looking tree. "We'll be eaten by something long before we get bored."

"Or die of starvation," Twilight replied before adding. "Well, I will - you aren't technically mortal."

"Cursed to walk around the forest forever more," Discord lamented dramatically. "If I'm stuck in here, I might not want to leave after a while."

"Happened before?" Twilight asked idly as she ducked under a low branch.

"Oh, yeah." Discord replied with a shrug. "About...hundred years before Sunbutt and Loony made me a lawn ornament. Got lost in the caverns of the unseen empire for a full two years."

Twilight paled. "Two years?"

Discord nodded as he walked along. "It would have been one, but I developed a taste for these lovely little sandwiches and- WOAH!" Discord stopped mid-story as he noticed he was about to walk and talk his way into a chasm. Discord back-stepped before peering down into the void below. "Well, that would have been undignified."

"So much for just walking out," Twilight grumbled as she assessed their situation. The crevice was far too wide to jump, they couldn't use magic and it stretched out of sight in both directions. "So...how do we get out of here now?"

Discord turned to Twilight and blinked. "I'm following you."

Twilight frowned. "I'm following you."

"I assumed we were walking to the bakery." Discord replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Twilight blinked owlishly before her jaw dropped a little. "Why would you assume that?"

"Because nothing says 'I'm happy to be alive and not lost in a horrible forest of horribleness' like one of Pinkie Pie's cupcakes."

Twilight growled something incoherent as she started stomping off in what at least felt like a downhill direction. After a moment, Discord followed behind her. "So, whats the plan, Princess?"

"The plan is your plan," Twilight replied grumpily. "Keep walking until we find a way out."

"Or," Discord replied. "We could fly out."

That was actually enough to bring Twilight to a sudden and complete halt. "That’s...actually completely obvious. Why didn't we think of that earlier?" The grey clouds overhead gave out a low rumble in reply. "Oh yeah."

"High voltage does put a damper on things," Discord quipped as he stared at the rolling clouds overhead. "Looks like a doozy of a storm too - Dashie and her crew are in for quite the evening shift."

"Rainbow and her team have handled worse," Twilight replied, unable to stop a small smile from slipping onto her face. "Cleaning up your last invasion, for instance. Compared to reservoir duty, this is probably nothing."

"I didn't think Cloudsdale gave reservoir duty to small towns," Discord replied. When he noticed Twilight staring at him with a quirked eyebrow, he shrugged. "I read a book, try not to faint."

"They don't," Twilight replied after a moment before she started walking again. "Not usually - tends to mean that the wingpower margins are too thin."

"Certainly says quite a bit on how much faith Cloudsdale has in Dashie, doesn't it... what?" Discord asked as he found Twilight staring at him again.

"That’s it?" She asked. "No snappy little remarks? No puns? No thinly or not-even-thinly veiled insults about my friend?"

"Well, I could come up with a few if you'd like," Discord said as she tapped at his chin. "Hrm...A pun based on her last name? Too obvious. Oh - insinuations about her dating preferences!... Nah, too easy. I guess I could just be blatantly sarcastic and-"

"I'm good." Twilight cut him off, as she turned her attention back to the non-existent path in front of them. "How is it that talking about the weather can't even go normally with you?"

"I make it rain chocolate," Discord pointed out. Overhead, there was a flash of lightning followed almost immediately by a rumble of thunder. "...though I imagine you'd prefer it to this, at the moment." Discord added as he glanced skyward.

"Chocolate rain is a pain to wash out of my coat," Twilight replied. "So, actually, taking a high-voltage atmospheric static discharge would in fact be preferable."

There was another crack and rumble overhead. "Huh." Discord took another glance overhead. "Actually..."

Twilight had already started tuning out Discord's out loud musing's when he felt his claw tap on her shoulder. "What do you-"

Her voice caught in her throat as she saw Discord's face. His mouth was a thin, humorless line. His brow furrowed in deadly seriousness and his eyes showed none of their usual mischief. "They're coming, Princess." Thunder and lightning boomed overhead.

Twilight tried to say something, but words had for the moment failed her for the moment. So close, and without his usual lackadaisical expression, Discord actually looked... really impressive actually.

And then the moment was broken as Discord started cackling madly. "Oh, that was perfect! I had the timing down and everything."

"I...you...what?" Twilight stammered as she tried to get her pounding heart under control. When had that happened?

"Nothing helps melodramatic delivery like..." Discord paused as he leveled a sombre gaze, "...ominous lightning." Another thundering crash from the sky punctuated the statement.

Twilight gave her head a quick shake as she focused on the question at hand and not on Discord and his... and not on Discord. "How are you doing that?"

"Oh, it’s easy," Discord replied. "The timing is pretty regular." He pointed skyward and started counting off. "Thousand three, thousand four, thousand five and-" Another boom overhead. "See? Nothing to it."

"But that..." Twilight's brow furrowed. "that's impossible. Wild storms are unpredictable. That's part of what makes them wild."

"You know how I feel about the 'I' word, Twilight," Discord replied before adding with a grin, "And you look adorable when you frown like that."

"Not helping," Twilight shot back as she focused on counting out the moments between lightning strikes. Sure enough, another strike shook the sky just on cue. "Okay, that's just weird. Even Pegasus-controlled discharges aren't that regular without direct control."

"So, what?" Discord asked as he fiddled with a flower idly. "You think somepony has assumed direct control?"

Twilight shook her head. "Nopony is crazy enough to come out here during a storm." Well, except for them, but they weren't technically ponies so... wait. "That doesn't mean something isn't controlling the storm!" She whirled around and grabbed Discord by the shoulders, pulling him closer as she gave him a manic grin. "The storm, our lack of magic, even us getting lost - it's all connected! It has to be. There's something-" She cut off abruptly as the first fat raindrop plopped down right onto the end of her nose. "Oh no."

The sky seemed to have a concept of comedic timing, which was actually a possibility, as no sooner had the words escaped her mouth that the sky opened up. The two draconequi were drenched in moments, though Discord didn't seem to care. "Oh, good," he said, "I could use a shower." Discord leaned his head back as he stretched out one paw. After a moment, he stared at his still empty paw with a frown. "No magic, right..."

"Stop messing around and come on," Twilight ordered as she hunched low in a vain attempt to avoid further drenching. "we need to find some shelter before either of us catches a cold."

"Your concern is touching," Discord said as he trotted up next to her. "Truly. Hrm..." He took a look around, tilting his head back and forth a few times before pointing off slightly to their right. "That way."

Twilight blinked in surprise as Discord started off in the direction he'd pointed. "Based on what?"

Discord shrugged without stopping. "A mare's intuition."

"You're a guy!" Twilight snapped back as she followed after him.

"And not a pony," Discord added. "This direction is uphill though, so there's that."

Twilight paused as she stared down at the sodden ground between her forelegs, rivulets of rain water pouring consistently in one direction. How had she missed that? "You coming?" Discord's voice broke her out of her observations. "Or would you prefer to have a wet mane contest?"

Twilight wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that, so she didn't and instead pushed forward. Discord kept the lead as the storm overhead grew worse while underhoof the ground grew steadily steeper. Finally, after what seemed like a wet and miserable eternity but couldn't have been more than twenty minutes, they stepped out into a small clearing centered around a towering mass of stone. "How fascinating," Twilight said, rain mostly forgotten as she examined the mass of rock. "Vertical striation - something must have uplifted the underlying bedrock, probably around the same time the valley was carved out and-"

"Aha!" Discord shouted from the other side of the outcropping, interrupting her geologic inquiries. "Found a cave. I love it when I'm right!" Sure enough, when Twilight came around the corner, there was a large triangular alcove where countless moons of rain and weather had worn away the vein of softer stone and leaving just its harder neighbors behind. Discord trotted inside before shaking off the water from his coat like a dog. "There," he said as he stretched back to his proper height. "Much better."

"You done?" Twilight asked as she stepped in and started wringing out her own mane with a sigh. "All of my parchments are soaked too," She sat down glumly as she glared out at the still worsening storm. "so I can't even start a fire out of them..."

Discord plopped down next to her with a raised eyebrow. "You know how to do that?"

Twilight shrugged. "There was a earth-pony wilderness guide back in..." she paused for a moment as her expression shifted, just for an instant, before she continued. "...back at the Golden Oaks Library."

"So it went up when Tirek toasted the place?" Discord asked. "That's a shame."

Twilight shot him a brief glare. "Thank you, Discord, for showing such tact and empathy about my home getting destroyed."

"You still have your friends, don't you?" Discord replied. When Twilight just stared at him in surprise, he just arched an eyebrow. "Really? You didn't think of that?"

"I...I don't know what I would have done without my friends," Twilight replied pensively, "But that doesn't make losing everything easier."

"But it wasn't everything," Discord replied, "It was just a house. One you replaced with a much nicer pad."

"Perhaps, but..." Twilight paused as she considered the other draconequus. "why do you care about this?"

"Because seeing you all mopey about an old library is depressing," Discord replied as he ran a claw through his mane. "and you don't pull off 'mopey' nearly as well as you pull off 'angry'." He pulled his claw back, smiling as he passed Twilight a small blue flower. "Do everyone a favor and stop worrying about the past."

Twilight took one look at the offered flower before looking at Discord and asking "Where did you get that?"

Discord scoffed. "What? You think Pinkie's the only one who can keep things in her mane?"

"Good point," Twilight conceded, "Now would you put that back before-" She stopped mid-phrase as a breeze drifted through the cave, carrying an absolutely divine scent along with it. It reminded her of the gardens in Canterlot, just after the first spring showers as the gardeners coaxed the flowers out of their hibernation. it was cool and sweet and mellow, a signal of forthcoming possibilities and the fresh opportunities of a new season. "-Oh sweet Celestia, that smells absolutely divine. It never smelled like that before."

Discord arched an eyebrow. "You like it?"

Twilight nodded. "I love it. Why isn't it making my life miserable?"

"Advantage of being immune to them," Discord replied as he tucked the flower behind Twilight's ear and pulled out another one from his own mane. "You get to appreciate the little bundles of chaos for what they are."

"Horrible pranksters?" Twilight suggested.

"Agents of change," Discord replied as he twirled the flower around. "Like ourselves - chaos in potentia and all of that. Probably why ponies have such hilarious reactions to them. Harmony and disharmony don't react well to each other."

"Thats actually, hm..." Twilight trailed off as she mulled over the idea. "That would actually explain a lot."

"Of course it would!" Discord said smugly before glancing toward Twilight and quickly adding. "But feel free to elaborate."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "All ponies are inherently magical, and all that magic is fundamentally related. Alicorn's demonstrate that quite readily. If there is some form of inherent incompatibility between the two magic forms..."

"They weren't called the 'Elements of Harmony' for nothing," Discord replied. "Though you managed to make them work."

"Not that it's doing me much good right now," Twilight pointed out glumly.

"Again with the moping," Discord said, exasperated. "Would you stop that? You'd think somebody kicked your dragon or something..."

Twilight suddenly stiffened as her eyes went wide. "Spike! Oh no, he's somewhere out here too and I completely forgot about him! What if he didn't make it to Zecora's? What if timberwolves got to him? What if-"

"What if he sent a letter to Celestia?" Discord finished for her. "Which he can do, you know. He's also a fire breathing dragon."

"A baby dragon!" Twilight replied. A few strands of her main were already looking frazzled as she continued to panic. "He doesn't know how to survive in the wilderness!"

"He's survived in this town for how many moons now?" Discord waved a claw dismissively. "He'll be fine. Not like you can do anything about it anyway."

That seemed to take the wind out of Twilight's sails, as she slumped onto the cave floor. "How are you so calm? We're stranded in the middle of a storm, with no magic."

"Panicking doesn't help," Discord replied. "All you can do is take things as they come."

"Which conveniently often involves sitting back and watching the chaos unfold," Twilight added, "Right?"

"Everybody wins!" Discord said happily, adding after a pause, "Well, except whoever I'm watching....usually."

Twilight gave an unmare-like snort as she looked out into the rainstorm. She counted softly under her breath until there was a familiar crack of thunder. After a few minutes and some more counting, she sighed. Still the same, which she guessed might have been a good thing. Maybe. Or maybe at one point it would just stop and envelope the whole Everfree Forest in a flurry of Balefire and destruction and turn all of Equestria into a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Either-or.

There was one thing, however, she was sure of. "The storm is letting up."

Discord quirked his eyebrow before sticking his head out of the case and glancing upward. "Well, it's still not what I'd call 'picnic weather', you know..."

"Its decent enough to travel in," Twilight replied as she stepped out of their cave, taking a moment to look around and regain her bearings before starting off. "Come on - I think those lightning strikes are all hitting the same spot."

"Okay, lovely," Discord said as he trotted up next to Twilight, giving her an inquiring stare. "So, one, how by Celestia's flank do you know that and two, why are you going that way?"

"My magic might not work, but my senses work just fine," Twilight gestured forward. "I can smell ozone in this direction, and the air feels...greasy."

"And the 'going toward it' part?" Discord asked.

Twilight shrugged. "It’s a direction, isn't it? Plus we might learn what's blocking our magic."

Discord stared at the other draconequus for a moment before shaking his head with a sigh. "She has to look. She can't not look." Even with his annoyance though, he couldn't keep a small smirk from creeping onto his face as he followed after her.

Twilight pressed forward, moving as fast as she dared given the terrain as she tried to take advantage of the lull in the storm. She didn't know when the weather would turn for the worse again, and she had no interest in being caught out in that again. "Come on," Twilight shouted back behind her as she spotted a thinning in the trees ahead. "We're almost there."

"And what the hay is there?" Discord demanded as he trudged after her. "Who put you in charge, anyway?" He glared down at his hind hoof as it sank into a pool of mud. "I don't remember voting for you." He stumbled forward as he tried to shake the worst of the mud off. "Its tyranny, I tell you! Tyra-omph!" Discord's complaint was cut off as he crashed into Twilight's back. "Hey!" He said as he glared at her. "What did you...woah."

Twilight had come to a halt right at the edge of a clearing, boarded on three sides by woods and a ravine on the fourth. Sitting half-way across, near the edge of the ravine, were the remains of some sort of tower. What really caught their attention though was what was growing out of the ruins.

It was a tree of some sort - that much was obvious. Silver-grey roots snaked over and through the piles of rubble, all meeting up at a slim, oddly angular trunk. Its branches were similarly shaped, long and crooked, ending in sharp points. It was strange plant, and Twilight had only seen one like it before. "Discord," she asked as there was another crack of lightning as the bolt arced straight into the top of the tree. Twilight flinched back, but no secondary arcing came. Instead, the whole tree glowed briefly before dimming again. Twilight gulped nervously as she stared at the tree. "D-Discord, does that look like the Tree of Harmony to you?"

Discord tilted his head to one side, studying it for a moment. "More like a sapling of harmony. Maybe a shrub?" He nodded his head decidedly. "Yes - I dub this specimen the Shrub of Friendship."

"No naming plants without permission," Twilight replied idly as she slowly paced closer to it. Another lightning bolt struck the plant, but after the first one turned out to be harmless, she had once again started to mostly ignore them. "Besides, if this is related to the Tree of Harmony, it's already got a name."

"Wait, you named the Tree of Harmony?" Discord asked incredulously.

"Salix Arcana Harmonia, yes," Twilight replied. "This is, presumably, the same species."

"Wait, do I have a fancy ye olde name?" Discord asked.

"Chimerous Dracoequs Eris," Twilight replied, "Neither been accepted by a peer-reviewed journal though, since I haven't published the papers. Now would you focus?" Twilight stepped over the first piece of rubble as she studied the tree. "We surveyed most of the Everfree from the air after the Tirek incident," She glanced upward at the open sky overhead. "I highly doubt we would have missed this."

"Well, maybe the Tree of Harmony just didn't like how your castle turned out and decided it could do better," Discord suggested with a shrug. "Because, really - crystal? So last season..." He paused for a moment. "or was it the season before that?"

"Maybe the lightning is helping to expedite its growth," Twilight mused out loud. "Perhaps it uses..." She trailed off as she notice a steady tapping sound. She pulled the meter back out to find the needle inside dancing around madly, the top swinging back and forth wildly as it tapped out an irregular rhythm onto the glass. "Discord, come take a look at this!" She waved him over as she watched the needle dance. "We haven't seen anything like this before - either the fields around here are incredibly powerful or something has warped the-Discord?"

Behind her, she'd noticed that Discord had come to a stop a few paces from the ruins, the look on his face somewhere between physically ill and utterly terrified. "Twilight, get away from that thing."

"Why?" Twilight asked, frowning in confusion. "It’s just a tree."

"That's no tree," Discord replied. "That thing...is dangerous."

"But..." She glanced back at the sapling. "It's just a tree."

"And Sombra was just a pony," Discord replied. "Now, just get away from that thing. Please?"

Okay, that was new. Something about this tree and him seriously spooked. "But...I don't feel anything. How strange..." Despite Discord's protests, Twilight found herself moving closer. It was such a strange tree. Where had it come from? How was it controlling the lightning? She couldn't just leave it be.

Just a little sample. That was all. She'd grab a piece of the tree and then she would walk away.

Discord's was saying something to her, but she wasn't paying attention as she paced closer to the sapling. Another pulse of energy passed through the tree as it channeled another lightning strike. Slowly, Twilight reached out toward the tree until her claw touched the silvery bark.

There was a brief crackle of energy before another lightning bolt struck and the tree pulsed. There was a flash of light, and then Twilight was sent hurling back, tumbling as she clipped part of the ruins before disappearing over the edge of the ravine.

Discord's eyes went wide before he jumped after her. "Twilight!"

Downed

"Why don't people listen to me? I use plain and simple Equestrian, I don't have an accent that I am aware of..."

Twilight groaned as she stirred back to consciousness. She tried to open her eyes, but the flash of light just made her already horrible headache redouble its efforts to remove her brain from her head. From the inside. So she screwed her eyes shut and focused on her other senses.

Other than her head, nothing else felt too bad. Her back had the same sort of ache that it tended to gain after spending all night hunched over her desk studying, or more recently when Rainbow Dash would try to teach her better flight form. At least whatever she was laying on felt nice. It felt fuzzy, and soft, and very, very warm. Much nicer than being stuck in the Everfree in a rainstorm and...

Oh. That.

With another groan, Twilight tried cracking her eyes open again. She did it slowly this time, and this gave her eyes adequate time to adjust. A thin band of light was far above, flanked on either side by steep stone cliffs. All around, the trickle and drip of rainwater searching for the lowest point as it gathered in the bottom of the ravine. Far closer was a familiar bearded and gray-furred visage. "Ah, you’re awake. Welcome back to the land of the living. What do you remember?"

"I.." Twilight managed, one claw coming up to her aching head. "uh...not much right now...I..."

She tried to sit up, but Discord quickly stopped her, forcing her to lay back down. "Slow down - you just fell down a ravine. After being zapped by a magic shrubbery."

Twilight chuckled softly as she laid back down against the warm and soft thing that was currently serving as a pillow. "Now you sound like Fluttershy."

"Occupational hazard of living with her, I suppose," He commented as he gently ran a claw through her hair. "The lump's gone down, at least, so that's good. You took quite the fall, you know."

"I don't, actually," Twilight replied. Her vision was finally starting to focus properly, so she decided to help it along by focusing on Discord. "How did you get down here though?"

Discord shrugged. "I jumped after you."

Twilight gave a snort and a grin. "You're an idiot."

"Quite likely," Discord agreed. "Remember anything yet?"

"I remember..." Twilight frowned. It was becoming easier to arrange her thoughts as the headache gradually receded. "I remember the tree-"

"Shrubbery," Discord corrected.

"Whatever," Twilight replied. "I remember seeing it and...I just wanted to touch it."

"I noticed," Discord replied. "You were not listening to me even more then usual. You saying that wasn't you?"

"It wasn't," Twilight replied before turning over and cuddling back into her improvised pillow, "Now, if we aren't in a rush, I'd like to rest for a little until my head doesn't feel like a tuning fork."

"Well," Discord replied, "As much as I enjoy the feeling of you cuddling up against me, this spot looks like flash-flood central, so-"

Twilight continued getting comfortable for another ten or so seconds before the statement processed. "Ah!" She flinched back as she noticed she had been, in fact, cuddling up against Discord. "Why didn't you say anything!?"

"Well, you just looked so comfortable, I couldn't bring myself to wake you," Discord replied innocently. His little smile betrayed him though.

"Okay, joke's over," Twilight replied flatly as she turned toward one end of the ravine. "Lets get-ow!" One of her hind legs gave out as she tried to put weight on it, and a quick examination confirmed Twilight's suspicions. "I think the fetlock's twisted."

"Considering your fall, you're lucky that's all you twisted." Discord replied as he bent lower to examine the injured joint. "And with the tree upstairs still going, neither of us have magic."

"Then I guess we'll just have to walk out," Twilight replied, wincing briefly as she got up until she could shift her weight to her other three limbs. "...slowly."

There was a rumble somewhere behind them that made both of them freeze. "Yeah," Discord replied. "I don't think that's going to be an option..." Discord spun around and, before Twilight could so much as squeak out a protest, had scooped her up and thrown her over one shoulder as he bolted down the ravine.

"Discord!" Twilight snapped as she found herself staring at the draconequus’s back. "Put me down this instant!"

Discord glanced over his unoccupied shoulder toward the other end of the ravine. "Uh, I don't think so."

Twilight followed his gaze and the blood drained from her face. A wall of water was speeding down the ravine after them. "We aren't going to make it!"

"We're going to make it." Discord snapped back as he continued running.

"We aren't going to make it!" Twilight repeated.

"We're going to-" Discord started, but Twilight cut him off.

"No, I'm doing the math and I'm telling you we aren't!" Twilight replied. "So either get steam-powered feet or find higher ground NOW!"

Unfortunately for them, the ravine walls were annoyingly smooth, any convenient climbing holds long since worn away by who knows how many moons of rain and runoff. "There!" Twilight suddenly shouted, pointing off to something behind him. When he twisted around, he saw what she was pointing at - A thin crevice part way up the cliff, hidden on one side by a massive slab of rock.

Discord gave the quickly approaching wall of water one more glance before darting toward their sole source of shelter. "I really hope this works," Discord muttered as he clamored up the loose pile of rubble toward the crack, "Or this is going to be a really embarrassing death..."

Discord dived into the crevice as a moment later the torrent of water went rushing by like a speeding locomotive. Twilight winced back from the cold spray as she watched the torrent rush by from her vantage point on Discord's back. "That was really close..."

"Good..." Discord managed as he huffed and puffed, "...spot, Twi... wooh. Have you been visiting Pinkie's?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Are you calling me fat?"

"Of course not," Discord replied, "That would be rude. I'm just implying you’re fat. Now stop fidgeting for a second..."

Twilight gave small 'eep' as Discord pulled her down from his shoulder before shifting around until she was across his back. Twilight's arms latched on around Discord, her tail following suit shortly after. "There," Discord said as she settled into her new position. "Now I'm not carrying you like a sack of potatoes. This is much more dignified."

"A back ride is hardly dignified, Discord." Twilight replied as she glanced at him.

"I meant for me." Discord replied with a smirk as he glanced at her. They were exceedingly close now, Twilight realized. His warm breath tickling her cheek every time he turned to speak to her, his black mane brushing across her chest with his every twist and movement. Pressed up against his back like she was, she could feel the beat of his heart, a steady and regular rhythm compared to his breathing, still heavy from their rush to safety. "You okay back there?"

"I'm fine," Twilight replied as she quickly glanced away. What the hay was she thinking about? Just because he was carrying her around and had jumped into a ravine after her like some character out of one of Rarity's trashy novels and - okay, not important right now. "How are you so calm?"

"You live as long as I have and even near-death gets boring," Discord replied has he looked around the ravine. Most of the space ahead of them was filled with rubble, forming into a rough looking ramp that climbed upward even as it led further in. "Though, this is the first time I've had to worry about somebody else. Not used to traveling with..."

"Friends?" Twilight suggested.

"You would say that," Discord replied as he started up the pile of rubble, "I was going to say 'others', but I suppose friends is equally valid."

"So why start now?" Twilight asked as she clung to Discord's back.

"Well, I can't just leave you here, now can I?" Discord replied before adding "Well, unless you want me to - though I don't think anypony would believe me when I get out of here."

"If we get out of here," Twilight replied, wincing as the climb jostled her fetlock, sending a bolt of pain shooting up her leg. "Which is starting to seem like a long-shot."

"Is Twilight Sparkle quitting on me?" Discord asked in mock astonishment. "The savior of Princess Luna, Conqueror of Chaos, She Who Defeated the Changeling Queen, Vanquisher of Tirek, Mistress of Magma?"

Twilight frowned. "The last one isn't one of mine." Technically, none of them were hers. But the last one was the only one that couldn't be hers.

"Really?" Discord replied. "Guess she kicked your flank like that shrubbery..."

"The tree did not kick my flank!" Twilight replied quickly, before continuing more quietly, "It just...I couldn't help myself. I really really wanted to touch the tree-"

"Shrubbery."

"Shrubbery," Twilight continued without missing a beat, "and nothing else really mattered. It was sort of like my 'want it, need it' spell but far more subtle..."

"A mind-controlling shrubbery," Discord replied as he made his way up the stone. "Lovely."

"But why?" Twilight asked as they finally neared the top of the ravine. as the emerged back out into the forest proper, Twilight noticed that it was not a familiar stretch of it. But at least it was a different unfamiliar stretch. "The Tree of Harmony didn't have that sort of effect."

"Yes, well," Discord replied as he looked around. "You can start working on that once we get out of here." Another crack of thunder echoed through the forest. "Is it just me," Discord asked, "Or are the only lightning strikes the ones hitting that stupid plant?"

Twilight listened intently until the next strike and sure enough it sounded like it came from the same direction as the last. "Its siphoning the electricity from the entire storm. That's...incredible."

"And freaky," Discord added, "Which coming from me is saying something. At least it gives us a bearing."

Twilight looked at Discord, confused. "What do you mean?"

Discord pointed toward the lightning strikes for a moment before reversing his claw and pointing the other way. "Away from the evil shrubbery of evil."

"Yes, well, that still leaves 359 degrees or so of options for us to-" Twilight stopped as the ground underneath them shook. "Did you hear that?"

Discord tensed as another tremor rumbled from what felt like somewhere very close. "Not sure I could miss it, Twilight."

"It's an..." Twilight gulped nervously as a third tremor shook them. "It's an impact tremor, is what it is." Her grip around Discord tightened. "I'm fairly alarmed here."

"That makes two of us," Discord replied nervously. Ahead of them, the trees had started shaking violently. "Hey, maybe it’s nothing."

"What about the trees then!?" Twilight whispered from Discord's back.

"They're epileptic?" Discord suggested weakly.

Any further discussion was made moot as the source of both the trees' shaking and the earth's rumbling revealed itself in the form of a massive hydra stomping into the clearing before coming to a lumbering halt, glaring down at the two interlopers.

Yes, Twilight and Discord had been there first, but when you are the literal hydra in the clearing, that doesn't really matter.

Twilight's heart jumped up into her throat as underneath her Discord opted to stop breathing entirely. Normally, a hydra wouldn't be a major concern - between a lord of chaos and an Alicorn, they would normally have more than enough firepower.

Normally.

As it was, the two just kept very, very still as the hydra leaned lower, two of its heads coming close and sniffing deeply. A giant reptilian eye narrowed and Twilight could swear it was staring at her. Was hydra vision predicated on motion, or was that just in one of Spike's comics? Given her panic, she'd forgotten.

The hydra studied them for another second before giving a snort and pulling back, its heads pulling back and looking around briefly before lumbering past them and back into the woods.

Discord and Twilight just remained still for a minute as they tried to wrap their heads around still being in one piece. "Twilight?" Discord asked shakily after a while.

"Y-yes?" Twilight managed to reply. She could feel herself starting to to shake.

"Could you hand me my brown trousers?" Discord asked.

Twilight blinked a couple of times. "Discord, you aren't wearing trousers."

"Oh," Discord replied as he started patting himself down. "That's good then. You alright?"

"Miraculously still alive," Twilight managed to reply. "Did that seem...odd to you?"

"Very," Discord replied as he started toward the treeline. "I think sitting down is a good idea now..." He gingerly helped Twilight to the ground next to one of the trees before slumping down against it along side her. "You know, I don't do this 'nearly dying' thing very well it seems..."

"Could it have actually killed you?" Twilight asked as she carefully checked her fetlock. At the very least, it didn't seem to be getting worse. She would kill for some ice right now.

"I have no idea," Discord replied. "Never had to face down a hydra without my magic. It’s sort of like asking if you can kill Celestia."

"That's...huh," Twilight said as she leaned back against the tree, "I don't think anypony has ever looked into it..."

"And why would you?" Discord replied. "ninety-nine point nine-nine percent of the time, the answer will be a flat 'no' - and the remainder is pretty darn rare..."

"one in ten thousand." Twilight replied idly.

Discord blinked. "What?"

"You said 'most of the time' was ninety-nine point nine-nine percent," Twilight explained, "which makes the remaining time point zero-one percent. That's one in ten thousand. Which means, actually, that something that at least seems like it could kill her should crop up every few hundred years - which in and of itself suggests that the Princess is hiding some things from her ponies...huh." Twilight gave a small shrug before turning to Discord. "Sorry, I got side-tracked."

Discord looked at her in surprise for a moment before he started to chuckle. "Side tracked? More like nerd-sniped. Only you, Twilight, only you..."

"I don't see what so funny," Twilight replied grumpily.

"We're stuck in a forest that seems to be actively trying to do us in and you’re mathematically deducing that Sun-butt is hiding things. Which I can tell you is sorta obvious, really, so-"

"Wait," Twilight cut him off, "Say that again."

"What?" Discord replied. "Sun-butt is hiding things?"

"No, before that," Twilight replied, "About the forest."

"I said it’s actively trying to kill us," Discord replied before giving Twilight an expectant look. "That was a joke. Given how much time you spend reading, I figured you'd at least be familiar with personification..."

"Shut up for a second," Twilight snapped. Discord shut up. "Active influence... that could explain the weather, the hydra, me..."

"Twilight," Discord said as Twilight continued mumbling to herself. "What are you talking about?"

"The forest!" Twilight replied as she turned to him with a wide smile many might find slightly unsettling. "You were right - it is actively trying to kill us!"

"Oh," Discord replied as he slumped a little. "Lovely."

"Well, not the forest per-se," Twilight elaborated, "But something in the forest - and it's using that shrubbery! Something is trying to control the Everfree Forest."

"Well, that's just stupid," Discord replied. "Thats like trying to control...well, me - it's bad for your health."

"The shrubbery would be the only thing that could handle that much power," Twilight continued without missing a beat, "being based on some part of the Tree of Harmony, and probably why they were feeding it lightning - to stimulate its growth. The backlash I got was excess discharge."

"So, some mystery pony is trying to tame the Everfree so they can...." Discord waved his claw vaguely. "What? Steal everyone's underpants? Hold Equestria hostage? Steal everypony's left shoes?"

"Or maybe they just think it would be funny," Twilight replied with a shrug, "I'm sure you could understand that."

Discord opened his mouth to retort, but his reply died on his lips as he realized she had a point. "Fair enough. So, now what?"

"Well, we still need to get out of here," Twilight replied as she tried to stand up. "I think my fetlock's feeling better so - Ow!"

Discord rolled his eyes as he watched Twilight shift the weight from her bad leg before turning around glancing over his shoulder at her. "Get onto my back if you want to leave."

Twilight grumbled something, but otherwise accepted the offer and climbed onto Discord's back. "Comfortable?"

"All things considered?" Twilight replied as she shifted slightly, "yes - you make a surprisingly effective, if unergonomic, transport."

"Enjoying your piggy-back rides, princess?" Discord teased.

"Just go," Twilight replied with a roll of her eyes.

"As you wish." Discord answered before setting off again.

The forest remained unfamiliar as they progressed, but that hardly surprised Twilight - mapping the Everfree was useless, since outside of a few very immobile features such as the Castle of the Royal Sisters and a small pool of paths the forest was a constantly shifting collection of plant life. Most routes cut through it are quickly over-grown to the point that you would think that they had never existed, leaving the hapless explorer lost and ultimately doomed. Throw in the wild storms and less-than-friendly wildlife and it was supremely obvious why Zecora didn't need to worry about getting neighbors any time soon. "See anything?" Twilight asked after they had been going for a while.

"Oh, plenty," Discord replied. "Some tall trees, some short trees, dead trees, young trees, skinny trees..."

"Okay, I get it," Twilight replied, rolling her eyes even as she felt herself starting to smile. "Nopony likes a smartass."

"Well, you seem to," Discord replied, "why else do you keep me around?"

"Eye candy," Twilight with a casual shrug.

Discord's head twisted around at that, which meant that he was too busy staring wide-eyed at Twilight to pay attention to where he was going and thus promptly fell flat on his face when he tripped over a root a moment later, Twilight landing on top of him.

"I'm sorry!" Twilight quickly said as she pulled herself off Discord, "I heard Rainbow say something like that the other day to the same sort of question and it seemed funny at the time so-"

"It's fine, Sparkle," Discord replied as he rubbed at his battered nose, "very disorienting, but fine."

"Oh, good," Twilight said with a sigh of relief, "I'd have felt horrible if I'd..."

"...yes?" Discord replied, propping himself up on one elbow as he motioned for the draconequs on his back to continue, "You were in the middle of an-"

"Shh," Twilight cut him off, "You hear that?"

"You mean that regular crack of thunder from the evil shrubbery?" Discord said flatly, "Sadly, yes."

"No, not that," Twilight cupped a claw around one of her ears, "Listen." Discord gave her a puzzled look, but after a second complied.

It was faint, but in between the lightning strikes Discord could just make out a very distinctive sound. "Sounds like... shouting?"

"Somepony is looking for us!" Twilight said excitedly as she tried to pull Discord off the ground. "Come on, we've got to move."

"I got it, I got it," Discord grumbled as he stood back up and glanced back at Twilight, "Good to go?"

"Yes," Twilight replied quickly before pointing out ahead and slightly to their right. "Now follow that shouting!"

With rescue within earshot, the pair made great time and soon the shouting became more distinct.

"Twilight!"

"Twilight!"

"Twilight Sparkle!"

"My little dragon, please slow your pace!" the second voice yelled at a slightly lower volume. "And beside, how many Twilights do you think are in this place?"

"It's Spike and Zecora!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Really?" Discord replied in faux surprise, "I'd have never have guessed." He shrugged. "At least they sound-" His sentence was cut off as a small purple blur burst out of a bush ahead of him and bounced off his chest at speed. "-close." Discord wheezed.

"...ouch," Spike muttered as he rubbed at his now sore head. "Wait...Twilight?"

Discord grinned down at the dragon looking up at him. "My hero!" He scooped up the dragon and started cuddling him, "However can I repay you?"

"Come on, Discord! This isn't funny!" Spike snapped as he squirmed in the draconequs's grip. "Where's Twilight?"

"Perhaps you missed it since your head took a whack," Zecora interupted, "But why don't you look at who's on his back?"

"His back...?" Spike leaned around Discord, the look of confusion on his face giving way to relief as he bounded forward and wrapped himself around Twilight's neck. "You're alright!"

"Good to see you too, Spike," as she returned the dragon's hug. "Are you okay?"

"Me?" Spike replied. "I've been at Zecora's the whole time - What about you? You've been stuck in the Everfree Forest! With Discord!"

"Hey!" Discord snapped. "I'm right here you know!"

"Spike, I'm fine - really." Twilight winced slightly as something bumped her fetlock. "Well mostly fine, thanks to Discord."

Discord and Spike stared at her. "Really?" Both said at the same time.

"I'd still be stuck at the bottom of that ravine if it wasn't for Discord," Twilight explained, "and that...wouldn't have ended well."

"Well, yeah," Discord replied, "but I wasn't expecting you to actually, you know, admit it."

"As fun as joyous reunions are," Zecora cut in, as she moved closer to Discord and Twilight, "I fear that we still need to travel quite far."

"Zecora's right," Spike added, "You two ended way off the beaten path,"

"Which brings me to a question regarding your magic," Zecora as she bent down to examine Twilight's fetlock, "Why did you not use it to avoid something potentially tragic?"

"Magic bush eating all the magic and hypnotizing hydras," Discord explained.

Spike and Zecora stared at him for a moment before wordlessly turning their gazes to Twilight. "He's telling the truth," Twilight said with a shrug, "More-or-less."

"Then that might explain my headache this day," Zecora replied as she turned her attention back to Twilight's sprain, though now she was giving the forest nervous glances, "The Forest should not feel this way." She stood and turned to Twilight, "We can treat your pains when we reach my home, and given the state of the woods I'd rather not roam."

When things were bad enough that Zecora was scared of the Everfree, retreat was usually the better part of valor. So the four broke a hasty retreat back to Zecora's.

One thing Twilight hadn't been counting on was the sudden feeling of exhaustion that washed over her when they reached the zebra shaman's home. Zecora had quickly ordered her into a seat as she started sorting through her dizzying collection of herbs, and as soon as she had slipped off Discord's back and onto the cushions her body had decided that it was now safe and thus was perfectly entitled to now collapse.

Twilight didn't catch whatever Zecora said to her when she returned, but a slight tingling followed by a numbing coolness through her fetlock was enough to tell her that Zecora had started treating her. Twilight didn't even react when something plopped down on the cushions next to her. For the time being, Twilight let worries about evil shrubbery, mind control and lost magics fade away as let herself fall into a much needed sleep.

When Twilight awoke, she found she was no longer in Zecora's hut. Instead, she found herself atop a moss-covered stone, massive glowing lilies hanging overhead as water lapped around the tiny island she sat in the middle of. "Oh," Twilight mused out loud, "I'm dreaming aren't I?"

"Indeed, Twilight Sparkle," Twilight looked up to see the familiar form of the princess of the night descending until she touched down across the water in front of her. "How do you fare, Twilight Sparkle?" she asked before tilting her head and adding, "And why do you still resemble a draconequs?"

Twilight looked down at herself. "Should I not be? It's what I am, after all."

"What one is in the waking world has no sway in this realm, Twilight Sparkle," Luna explained as she walked across the still pond, ripples spreading out with every hoofstep. "Your appearance now is what we call 'residual self image' - it is a mental projection of yourself." Luna tilted her head as she came to a stop in front of Twilight, staring at her intently, "It surprises me that you would internalize this new form so quickly - or that you are even here at this hour."

"I've had a long day," Twilight said with a sigh as she sat down, "Still, nice not to not have anything hurt for a while..."

Luna looked at her in confusion, "I don't think I follow?"

"I twisted my fetlock in the woods after... you don't know?" Twilight asked in surprise, "I was sure Spike would have sent a letter or - no, wait, he was probably looking for me. Let me explain." Twilight paused before shaking her head, "No, there is too much. Let me sum up."

After a succinct explanation that still managed to take the better part of twenty minutes, Luna was now seated next to the taller draconequs as she touched a hoof to her chin in thought. "This is a most perplexing conundrum. You said this tree-"

"Shrubbery," Twilight corrected.

"...shrubbery," Luna continued after a brief pause, "is part of some scheme?"

Twilight nodded, "I do."

Luna's brow furrowed in thought, "There is one part of this situation I find most perplexing, however..."

"How an off-shoot of the Tree of Harmony survived," Twilight said with a nod, "it is strange, but I have a few-"

"What?" Luna said, looking up in surprise, "Not that. I was more confounded by Discord's behavior."

Twilight stared at her for a moment before finally replying with a flat "What."

"It is truly unprecedented," Luna continued with a nod, "Discord, leaping off the cliff after you like that - he's probably why you lack more grievous injuries. I imagine he took the worst of it for you."

"But he seemed fine..." Twilight countered weakly.

"Spirits of Chaos, like Alicorns, are as they say 'made of sterner stuff'," Luna replied as she rose and approached Twilight, gently poking her with one hoof, "At the moment, you are neither,"

"I didn't notice anything wrong with him," Twilight replied. In her mind, she was looking back over the last few hours as she tried to see what she might have missed. A wince, a twinge of pain that had passed unnoticed during the hours she spent pressed against his back. Even face-to-face with a Hydra, his heartbeat had been steady, a regular rhythm at odds with the pounding of her own heart... "Is this really the most important thing to be talking about right now?" Twilight asked as she quickly shifted trains of thought.

"You are more concerned about the shrubbery?" Luna asked before waving a hoof dismissively, "You deal with such things fairly often, do you not? Unlike my sister, I have a great deal of faith in your capabilities, Twilight Sparkle."

"Celestia...doesn't trust me?" Twilight asked nervously. Celestia, her teacher, her mentor, her idol - doubted her? She didn't know how to deal with that...

Luna shook her head, "Tia simply worries too much, and frets about Discord being a 'bad influence' on you, which is preposterous-"

Twilight sighed in relief, "Thank you. I was worried you were-"

"Obviously," Luna continued, "If he was going to be a bad influence on you he'd have started as soon as he moved in with Fluttershy."

"-going you say something ridiculous." Twilight finished with a groan as she slumped a little. Though she did have a point - there had been plenty of time for Discord to try and... discord her since he arrived in Ponyville. All he'd done instead was prank her and learn veterinary medicine.

"Well, if you wish I can pass on your information to my sister," Luna replied as she turned and started walking away, "At the least, she will wish to know about your shrubbery and its-" Whatever else Luna was going to say was lost as her voice suddenly faded out, like somepony had cranked the volume down on a gramophone. At the same time, her form briefly went wispy, nearly transparent before coming back. "-Sparkle, what is going-" she started to say before fading out again.

"Princess?" Twilight asked worriedly, "Is everything alright?"

Luna tried to say something, but Twilight could hear nothing from her. Around her, the landscape started to curl in on itself as the dream collapsed.

Twilight woke with a start, and immediately noticed two things. The first was that she had, at some point in her sleep, curled up around herself and the purple tuft of fur at the end of her tail twitching softly in front of her.

The second was something warm and soft was curled up around her, and snoring like a buzzsaw.

She glanced behind her to see Discord asleep, using her back as a pillow as he snored loudly. Really, how in Celestia's name had she slept through that? "Discord, wake up," She said as she poked him, "Something just happened."

Discord winced at the poke as he slowly dragged himself back into consciousness, "Come on, lady, you were the one-" He stopped when he saw it was Twilight poking him, quickly replacing his groggy frown with a grin, "Ah, Twilight - I have to say, you might be the best time in bed I've had in a while. I might have to recommend everyone sleeps with you at least once."

Twilight flushed at that before leveling a glare at him and gave him another poke.

"Ow!" Discord flinched back, "What are you-"

"You're hurt," Twilight stated flatly, noting for the first time the array of sticking plasters dotted across his side. Twilight started uncurling herself as she rose to stretch, noting that nobody else seemed to be in the hut in the moment. She turned back to Discord. "Why didn't you say something?"

Discord shrugged as he took advantage of the extra room on the cushions. "It wasn't that bad, and I still needed to carry you anyway. The Zebra looked me over and said it was almost all internal stuff anyway." Discord shrugged. "Nothing major."

"Nothing-" Twilight's eyes went wide for a moment before narrowing again as she turned around and started across the room. Zecora had left a small fire burning in the hearth, and Twilight found herself staring into its flames as she leaned against the mantle, "-why hide it?"

Discord shrugged as he splayed out on his back. "Didn’t see a reason to make you worry."

Twilight twitched, her eyes briefly flicking to the fireplace tools hanging near the hearth. "That...is the single stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

Discord looked up at that, eyes going wide when he saw Twilight as he scrambled to get his legs back underneath him. "Twilight! Let's not be hasty! I mean, adding more injuries is sorta against what you're - gah!"

A few minutes later, Zecora stepped through her front door, a basket of freshly gathered herbs and plants in-mouth, and into the scene of Twilight chasing Discord around her hut while brandishing a fireplace shovel.

"Friends do not hide that sort of thing from each other!" Twilight shouted as she swung at him with the implement.

"Help!" Discord shouted as he scrambled about, dodging swings. "Help! Crazy lady with a shovel!"

I Can't Take It

Once Zecora had calmed the rampaging draconequus down and assured her that Discord's injuries were—in fact—not that bad, Twilight had settled onto one of the Zebra's couches with a cup of tea, still glaring daggers at Discord. "You should've told me," Twilight said again.

"I didn't think you'd care," Discord said with a shrug. No longer being accosted with a shovel, he had returned to his pile of cushions with a cup of tea of his own balanced on the end of his tail.

"We work together!" Twilight shot back, "Of course I'd care!"

"Weren't you about to say something before you went shovel knight on me?" Discord asked her as he took a sip of his tea.

Twilight glared at him for another moment before setting her own cup aside with sigh. "Luna visited me via a dream while I was asleep, but something happened toward the end—we were...disconnected."

"I assume you think it’s something other than your carrier?" Discord asked. "Think it's the shrubbery?"

"If it is, I am very, very worried," Twilight replied as she turned her assistant. "Spike, could you come here for a moment?"

"Sure thing!" Spike hopped off the stool he had been standing on, leaving Zecora to continue prepping what was either food or more potions. Twilight wasn't sure at the moment. "What do you need?" He asked as he came over.

"I need a map of the Everfree Forest and any notes you have on where we collected samples," Twilight replied. "And have you or Zecora had any problems with magic?"

"Sure thing!" Spike replied with a quick salute before he started collecting scrolls that had ended up scattered across the hut. "And as for magic," Spike shrugged, "not really. Haven't tried much. Why?"

"I need data," Twilight replied as she plucked the map from the top of the pile, spreading it out onto the nearest table. "Discord, come over here."

"What?" Discord grumbled as he plodded over. "Got a crafts project for me?"

"Do you remember when and where we were during our trek through the forest?" Twilight asked as Spike handed her another scroll that she scanned over before starting to mark the map.

"Vaguely," Discord said with a shrug as he moved closer to the map. "Let’s see. We started here, split-up here not long after, met up again," as Discord went on, he pointed out spots on the map with a claw, Twilight notating them as he went, "here-ish. Oh, look, that’s our cave. That makes the shrubbery—" Discord paused as he studied the map before slowly laying a claw on a single spot deep inside the Everfree, "—here."

Twilight marked the shrubbery with a larger mark before stepping back and staring at the map. "Hrm. It’s almost like... Discord, are you seeing what I am seeing?"

"Sadly," Discord replied with a sigh, "yes. Anypony have a compass?"

Spike looked at him for a minute before dashing over to a saddlebag that had been tossed into one corner, digging through it for a moment before pulling out the V-shaped drawing tool. "I'm assuming you don't mean the other sort," Spike muttered as he handed Discord the tool.

"For once, a safe assumption," Discord replied as he took the compass and turned back to the map spread out across the table. "Let’s see—spiky end goes on the shrubbery and this end..." Discord adjusted the device before drawing a large arc across the map. Then he adjusted it again and drew another arc, this time a little further from the shrubbery. He repeated that maybe half a dozen times before setting the compass aside and taking a look at the map. "Well, that's not good."

"What is it?" Spike asked as he stared at the map.

"The shrubbery's effect is spreading," Twilight said with a sigh, "and based on our time in the forest, it's already spread pretty far. Those points and Luna's visit let us calculate just how fast, too."

"So," Spike asked nervously as he looked nervously between the map and Twilight, "how fast is it?"

"Pretty fast," Discord replied, "if my calculations are correct, and they usually are."

"If it maintains this rate, the effect will envelop all of Ponyville in a matter of days," Twilight said somberly as she ran the numbers in her head, "and that's not even the worst case scenario."

"How is that not the worst case?" Spike replied, a hint of panic creeping into his voice as he did.

"It could get faster," Discord suggested, "which, considering how much power it’s sucking in, seems pretty reasonable."

"Which means it could reach the town as soon as today," Twilight said as she started pulling her saddlebags back on. "I need to talk to the girls, now."

"If it means getting further from the shrubbery," Discord replied as he grabbed some of the other bags as Spike started loading a satchel with scrolls and quills, "I'm all for it. Do we have a plan?"

"Find out where that shrubbery came from and why," Twilight replied as she started for the door, "and figure out how to get close enough to make it stop."

"Getting close isn't the issue," Discord said with a shrug as he followed Twilight outside. "It wants us to get close, remember? I'm more worried about actually being able to—Twilight?"

The purple draconequus didn't respond but instead kept staring off into the forest as thunder rumbled in the difference. "Sparkle?" Discord asked again, waving a paw in front of her face. No response. "Hellooooooo, any princess home?"

"I..." Twilight started after a moment as she started walking back toward the forest, "I missed something."

Spike joined Discord in staring at Twilight for a moment before Discord succinctly summarized both their thoughts. "Oh hay no."

Spike was the first to move, rushing forward to grab onto her tail as he tried to stop her. "Come on, Twi, what happened to talking to the girls? You had a plan!"

"I missed something," Twilight replied hollowly as she kept slowly lurching forward. "I can figure this out, I know it. I missed something, and I need to know so—"

Her thoughts were cut short along with her sentence as Discord slapped her. Hard. Twilight froze for a moment before letting out a gasp, her eyes dilating briefly before refocusing. "Wha-what happened?"

"You went into full-on hypno-mode," Discord replied, "And then I slapped you. You with me?"

Twilight gave her head a quick shake. "That was...supremely unpleasant." She glanced back at the forest for a moment before yanking her gaze away with what seemed like more than a little effort. "I think the two of you should keep a very careful eye on me," she suggested nervously.

"Anything for you, Twilight." Spike replied, pulling himself up to his full regal and not-at-all-cute height. "I won't let that forest take you!"

"Not how I hoped to get permission," Discord said with a shrug as he threw an arm around Twilight and started walking them back toward Ponyville, "but if you're giving me permission to stare at you, who am I to complain?"

Twilight managed a weak smile as she rolled her eyes. “"Why am I not surprised you would-ah!" Twilight lurched sideways as she stumbled, falling into Discord's arms as he caught her.

"I thought you said you were alright?" Discord asked as he helped her back up. "You seemed fine when you were trying to cut my heart out with a spoon."

"It was a shovel," Twilight corrected him as she gave her injured limb a quick test before putting her full weight on it, "and I am so long as I don't run into any rocks or tree roots or anything."

Discord gave her a level look before briefly glancing at the stretch of rock and tree-strewn forest ahead of them before turning back to Twilight. "Want to run that by me again?"

"Well, it’s not like I can have you carry me all the way to town, now can I?" Twilight asked as he returned his stare.

"Why not?" The two draconequi turned as the dragon spoke up as he was adjusting some of his scrolls. "I mean, he already carried you through the entire forest and you slept with him. You really going to get shy now?"

Discord looked at Spike for a moment before turning to Twilight. "He's got a point. Want to cut to the chase and just make out?"

A crashing sound behind them interrupted any response Twilight might have made as the trio turned to see a slack-jawed Zecora standing just in front of her hut, a basket of herbs and reagents spilled at her hooves. She stood there for another moment before giving a loud cough. "I believe I arrived at an inappropriate time, as it seems I almost missed a rhyme."

"Your timing's perfect, actually," Twilight replied, giving Discord a quick glance before addressing the zebra. "What's with the bags?"

Zecora adjusted the saddlebags across her back before turning to her spilled basket, blinking in surprise when she found Discord holding it out for her. "It seems that the forest has become one of my foes," she said as she warily accepted the basket and placed it on her back. "I may need a place to to stay if you will let me impose."

"Oh, I doubt that will be a problem," Discord replied with a shrug as he stepped back. "I mean, she's letting me room with her after all."

"And unlike him, I doubt you'll rearrange the floorplan without asking," Twilight gave Discord another glance as he sauntered back over to her side before giving Zecora a wide smile. "My home is open to you for as long as you need, Zecora."

"I am in your debt, Twilight," Zecora said with a polite nod before she returned Twilight's smile. "Though such a reply seems obvious in hindsight."

"Oh, you're melting my heart," Discord replied as he dug around in his bag before pulling out an oversized wide-brimmed felt hat and placing it on his head. "Saddle up, let's get this moveable feast under way!" They all stared at him, blinking. "Did you forget about the magic-eating shrubbery?" He turned to Zecora and gave her a polite nod. "Since this is your neck of the woods, lead the way for us, would you kindly?"

Zecora watched him for another moment before turning and starting forward, trusting the two draconequi to follow. "Why," Twilight asked as Zecora walked past, her eyes lingering on the zebra's bags and their overflowing supply of herbals, "is it that she knows more than I do?"

"She knows this forest," Discord replied as he toyed with one of the blue flowers that had fallen from Zecora's basket, "though I do wonder what she's worried about that might need that much poison joke," he gave a shrug as he tucked the flower behind Twilight's ear, "Want to take bets?"

"Given how this day is going so far?" Twilight replied with a smirk, "I half-expect Equestria's atmosphere to catch fire."

Discord blinked. "Can that even happen?"

"Not really," Twilight replied with a shrug, "I mean, theoretically, it could have happened when I transformed, but my math said that it was almost impossible."

Discord gaped at that for a moment before giving up on developing a response and opted to simply start after Zecora. "Let's go before the dragon and the zebra decide to ditch us."

"You asked," Twilight replied as she jogged after him. "You thinking of something different?"

"Not really," Discord replied with a shrug. "Zecora’s more interested in stopping chaos, not making it. Probably just uses it for tea or something."

"Well, if its effects can be applied in a controlled manner..." Twilight mused out loud, losing herself in her own thoughts as she walked. Yes, miniaturization could be useful in a variety of situations, though voice alteration might be limited to stage roles. Maybe if you could isolate different effects, you could—

She was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt herself yanked to one side. "Hey!" Her head snapped to her right at Discord who was still holding onto one of her forearms. "What did you do that for?"

"You were starting to circle back," Discord replied, pointing a claw over one shoulder at the receding forms of Zecora and Spike, "which is bad, remember?"

"Oh," Twilight said after a moment as Discord let go of her arm. "Thanks then."

"Just doing what I was told," Discord replied as he gestured for Twilight to go first with a flourish and a bow. "After you, princess."

Twilight answered with a similar bow, "Why thank you, your Lordship,"

Twilight headed forward to catch up with Spike and Zecora, leaving Discord to work out what had just happened as the group headed out of the Everfree.

It wasn't until they reached the edge of the Everfree that they realized that something was amiss. "Is that smoke?" Spike asked as they finally cleared the treeline. Sure enough, there was smoke coming from the direction of town and not the usual 'Pinkie's throwing a party' sort.

"Well, that's not good," Discord quipped as he caught up with the others, glancing back toward the forest. "Does anybody else feel that?"

Twilight glanced back at the forest, her eyes lingering on some point far beyond the trees before she jerked her head back around to face toward town. "If you mean whatever keeps trying to make me turn around, then yes. Turning around is probably not a good idea right now."

"The effects of the shrubbery are surprisingly near," Zecora said, nervously, "it's secondary effects reach quite far, I fear."

"Wake up, go to work, save the world," Discord said with a shrug, "same thing we do – what? every week?" he paused before turning to Twilight. "Well, you do at least."

"Come on!" Twilight shouted as she rushed forward as fast as her still sore injury would allow. "We've got to do something!"

"Twilight, wait!" Spike called out before rushing after her, Zecora close behind.

"Well then," Discord said as he watched them go before striking a pose and charging after them. “Tally ho!"

The scene they arrived to was one of—actually, not the worst they'd ever seen. Even only counting what had happened in town proper, Tirek's attack had been a lot worse. This looked more like a parasprite incursion sans parasprites. Every other window seemed to be broken. Window shutters hung loose, and carts were overturned everywhere. Ponies were moving about in one of two ways: absolutely panicked or in a daze. Only a few seemed to have enough of their wits about them to actually try and impose some order, and one of them was a blue and polychromatic blur that sped overhead as they stood there. "Rainbow!" Twilight shouted.

"Twilight?" Rainbow shouted back as she stopped hard before backtracking over to the draconequus, giving her a confused look. "What's in your—nevermind. Where the buck have you been? Everypony in this town has gone crazy!"

"You leave them alone for one day..." Discord muttered with a chuckle that earned him a quick glare from Twilight.

"Discord, see if you can find Fluttershy," Twilight ordered, and Discord gave a quick salute before heading off. She watched Discord for a moment before turning back to Rainbow. "What happened?"

"How the hay should I know!?" Rainbow replied as another pegasus tried to bowl into her and she was forced to dodge, "Everypony started to lose it a few hours ago, including half of my weather team! We need reinforcements! Royal Guards. The Wonderbolts!"

"Rainbow," Twilight replied, trying to force some calm into her voice. "All of Ponyville's Royal Guards are already in town with you."

"Well, they're completely incapacitated!" Rainbow replied in frustration as another panicking pegasus plowed into her posterior that earned him a Rainbow Dash-induced crash. "We need a plan!"

It was at that point that Discord crashed back into view, plowing through a crowd of panicking ponies in the process as he came to a stop inside what appeared to by a giant hamster ball. "I'm back," he announced as he popped open the hatch and pulled himself out. "What did I miss?"

"Rainbow Dash panicking," Twilight summarized succinctly, Rainbow's protests ignored as Twilight continued, "How's Fluttershy and where did you get that?"

"Dear Fluttershy is fine," Discord replied calmly as he finished climbing out of the sphere and giving it a light pat. "As for this, our magic is back! Ain't that grand?"

Twilight looked between Discord and the sphere he was leaning against for a moment before reaching out and snapping her claws. In an instant, the transparent sphere vanished in a puff as its entire mass sublimated into confetti and flower petals. "Still have some interference though," Twilight mused as Discord fell onto his rump. "That wasn't supposed to have confetti."

"As much as I love being yet another data point," Discord grumbled as he rubbed his sore behind, "your town is still turning itself upside down. You might want to do something about that."

"I thought you'd prefer it like this," Twilight commented with a quirk of her eyebrow.

Discord shrugged. "Not as much fun when I'm not the one causing it. Besides, you and dear Fluttershy would be upset if it stayed like this."

"Right," Twilight said with a sigh before turning to face down the street toward the largest concentration of ponies. "Stop!"

At her shout, the entire street froze and turned in her direction, which lead to a few pegasi crashing into walls and windows but nothing serious. Twilight ignored them as she continued, "I am your princess, and I command you to stop!"

There was a pause of exactly three-point-six seconds where they actually listened before the shrubbery-induced hysteria reasserted itself and a good half of the crowd proceeded to trample over their princess.

Rainbow sighed as she watched Twilight extradite herself from the stampeding crowd, earning a few sharp kicks to the side in the process. "Seriously, does that ever work?"

"No," Discord replied with a shrug. "She is ahead of the game in that she didn't try it on a giant wolverine/snake thing with poison tusks."

"Thank you," Twilight grumbled as she trudged forward, looking slightly more frazzled than before, "for your assistance."

"You looked like you had it under control," Discord said with a shrug.

"Speaking of 'under control'," Twilight replied as she turned to Rainbow Dash. "Why aren't you panicking or shuffling toward the forest?"

"Oh, trust me," Rainbow replied. "I would love to panic right now, but then who'd take care of everypony else?"

Twilight gave her friend a smile, "I should have guessed you wouldn't leave the entire town hanging. So where's AJ?"

"Probably on her farm," Rainbow replied with a shrug, "Why?"

"Because I need a shrubbery moved," Twilight replied. "And I can't use magic. Get the rest of the girls together. We'll meet at Fluttershy's. Discord? Come with me."

"Lemme do one more sweep to make sure nopony's wandered too close to the forest," Rainbow said, getting ready to take off.

"Please, let me assist you." Rainbow looked down to see Zecora stepping past Discord. "Given the circumstances it’s the least I can do."

"The more the merrier," Rainbow replied with a nod as she dropped down closer to the ground. "Just try to keep up!"

Rainbow Dash bolted off while just a couple of hooves behind, Zecora following close behind. Twilight started down another street for the edge of town, Discord and Spike close behind. "So," Spike asked as he gave up on keeping up with the draconequi and just hopped onto Discord's back, "how are we going to move a tree without magic?"

"Earth ponies," Twilight replied succinctly. "And it's a shrubbery."

"One problem," Discord pointed out as he trotted along next to Twilight. For once, he was on all fours as well, a rare sight. "Earth ponies run on magic, too. Stick them near that shrubbery, and it’s like you cut off their hair."

"What does hair have to do with strength?" Spike asked.

"There was this guy, had a weakness for women?" Discord replied, "his hair was... you know what? Never mind. Point is earth ponies aren't going to be immune to the shrubbery."

"Luckily for us," Twilight replied as they passed the last house of Ponyville proper as Sweet Apple Acres started to come into view, "AJ knows more than one way to move a tree."

Twilight's original plan, before reaching the apple orchard, had been to grab Applejack and head for Fluttershy's as soon as possible. That plan was quickly derailed when she saw AJ at her barn and apparently struggling to keep something inside. "Applejack! What's going on?"

"I was hopin' you could tell me, Twi!" AJ shouted back as whatever was inside the barn slammed against the doors, shaking the entire structure, "One moment everythings going as smooth as you like, and then the next thing I know, Granny's gone and fainted, Applebloom hidin' under the couch like Slendermare is coming for her, and Mac just got this glassy look and started makin' a beeline for the forest!"

"How in Equestria did you get him into the barn?" Discord asked as he stared at the rattling door.

"I got lucky, and he decided to cut through it," AJ replied quickly as the door bucked again, this time nearly throwing her off, but she managed to brace herself quickly. "Now are you gonna help me or not!?"

Twilight turned to Discord, who just shrugged. "Don't look at me. I'd just turn him into a tree or something. Think he'd like to be a tree?"

"No transfigurin' my brother!" AJ shouted, vetoing the plan.

Discord gave another shrug. "Then throw the school teacher in there. That should keep him distracted for a few hours at least."

Twilight began to retort but came up short as she tried to process the statement. She finally managed to ask with a perplexed frown, "How the hay did you figure that out?"

"You'd be amazed at the sort of gossip you hear at the Spa," Discord replied as he examined a claw, "though I don't get to go as often as I like. Rarity took umbrage the last time dear Fluttershy brought me along."

"Right," Twilight replied as she turned to the barn, "that did give me an idea though."

"The teacher thing?" AJ asked.

"No, the tree thing," Twilight replied as she stepped toward the barn door, "I know you said we can't transfigure him, but I assume he's still wearing his yoke?"

"Of course," AJ replied, "why?"

"Trust me," Twilight replied, "and just open the door on my mark."

Applejack gave her friend a confused stare but nodded as Twilight took up a spot square in front of the door. Twilight counted under her breath, timing the impacts. Once she was sure, she waited until just after one of the impacts. "Now!"

Applejack pulled the door wide open, and straight ahead Twilight could see Big Macintosh charging her from halfway across the barn. Twilight didn't hesitate as she swept her claw in an arc, and Mac's yoke responded in kind as it transfigured into crystal that quickly began to grow into what looked like a miniature version of her castle.

Unfortunately, that didn't seem to slow him down as nearly as much as Twilight hoped, and now she had a large, hypnotized, and crystal-armored Macintosh charging her. Twilight quickly started casting out more magic, crystalline arrows suddenly popping into existence along either side of the barn, thin lines stretching between them that snapped an instant later as Big Mac charged through.

With every line he snapped though the connected arrows seemed to explode, coating him in yet more crystal that started to grow around him until the growths finally linked his legs and he crashed to the ground, sliding forward until grinding to a halt right at Twilight's paws.

AJ took a tentative step forward, giving her brother a careful poke. He was wrapped in crystal from the neck back, but he gave a small groan as she poked him before slumped down for a little nap. "Are those the arrows from the Equestria games?"

"With some slight modifications, yes, I suppose they are," Twilight said as she slumped to the ground as she breathed heavily, "Woo, okay, let’s not do that again."

"Sounds good to me," AJ replied as she gave her brother one last check before turning to Twilight, giving her a brief look of confusion, "Uh, mind tellin' me what's goin' on?"

"No time to explain everything," Twilight said as she shook her head, "but the gist is that an evil shrubbery is draining all the magic around it and probably going to destroy the world."

Applejack blinked at that. "Well, that sounds bad."

"It's worse than you know," Discord replied.

"It usually is," AJ said before turning back to Twilight. "So, we have a plan?"

"The start of one," Twilight replied. "But we can talk while we head to Fluttershy's. What do you know about moving trees?"

As it turned out, quite a bit, and Applejack was more than willing to explain as much as she could on the way to Fluttershy's. Unfortunately, by the time they reached the cottage, Twilight was starting to worry about the viability of her plan. Hopefully, the girls would have a few ideas to help.

"Fluttershy?" Twilight shouted as she knocked on the door, "Can we come in? It's—" She was cut off as the door swung open and a familiar pink mane poked around the door, though a little lower than usual. "You alright, Fluttershy?"

"I-I'm better now. Thank you for asking," Fluttershy said softly as she stepped out of the way and let them in. Inside, Twilight found her remaining friends showing similar levels of distress as Fluttershy. Rarity was trying to calmly sip at her tea, but the cups trembling in the grip of her magic betrayed her nerves, as did the way her gaze occasionally slid toward the forest before she could yank it back. Rainbow Dash was flapping around nervously, unable to stay still for any length of time. And Pinkie Pie...

Was playing checkers with a bear.

"Everypony alright?" Twilight asked as she stepped into the cottage, addressing her three friends while Fluttershy quickly attached herself to Discord. Well, Twilight could understand that. Where better to hide from chaos than with the lord of it?

"I have been much better," Rarity replied as she set her tea down with only a slight clattering, "I've been worse, as well, but not by much."

"Still breathing," Rainbow replied quickly. "So can you finally tell us what the buck is going on?"

Twilight took a deep breath as she settled into an open seat, "Discord and I found a shrubbery in the Everfree that bears a strong similarity to the Tree of Harmony. We don't know who put it there or why, but it seems to be pulling in resources."

"What's that have to do with the whole town going pear-shaped?" Rainbow asked.

"Part of its abilities seems to be influencing living things to come closer to it," Twilight explained. "Most likely so it can drain them of energy as well. We saw a hydra under its effect, and it seems to be influencing me as well."

"Well, that explains a few things," Rarity said as she yanked her gaze back from the forest again, "though not the other half of town."

"Some ponies just don't react well to such mental intrusion," Twilight suggested. "Instead of triggering the desired behavior, it causes non-specific existential terror instead."

"Who would create such a ghastly thing?" Rarity asked.

"I honestly have no idea," Twilight replied. "Not many ponies have the knowledge or skills necessary to create the shrubbery, and the number of ponies that even knew about the Tree of Harmony I could count on one claw."

"Who did know, anyhow?" Applejack asked.

"Well, there are the six of us," Twilight replied as she started tallying out claws, "Spike, Celestia, Luna, Discord, the Cutie Mark Crusaders might have known, but I - what?" Twilight stopped as she noticed everypony was staring at her.

Actually, they were staring past her.

"Why all the looks?" Discord asked as he continued to run a paw through Fluttershy's mane.

"Girls, you can't really think—" Twilight started, but AJ quickly cut her off.

"Twi, you said it yourself," the farmpony said. "Almost nobody knew about the Tree of Harmony, and if anyone could twist the Tree into somethin' capable of making this much chaos, it’s Discord."

"She does have a point, my dear," Rarity added in.

"I've been saying this a lot, but this isn't Discord's fault," Twilight shot back, "Could he have? Sure, I could have done it, too. That shrubbery terrified him! The only reason he went near it was because of me."

"Twilight," Rarity said as she tried to calm her purple friend, "I understand the Discord has been helping you quite a bit recently, but—"

"It wasn't him!" Twilight replied firmly. "I've been doing nothing but study chaos magic for the last week. I don't know what source of chaos triggered this, but it wasn't him. Trust me, I'd know." She looked between four of her friends as her expression softened. "I know this might be hard for you to accept. Discord has never given you a reason to trust him. That and you never saw a reason to, especially after Tirek. But Discord saved my life the other day after that shrubbery nearly killed me, and that buys him at least a chance in my book. Even if you don't trust me, trust Fluttershy. Discord wouldn't have done this, right Flutter—"

Twilight turned to face Fluttershy, expecting to see Discord still trying to sooth her, but instead she found the pink-maned pegasus sitting alone, staring out the still-open door. "Fluttershy! Where did Discord go?"

"I-I don't know," Fluttershy stammered. "He just said something about being sorry and then he vanished."

"So he admits it then!" Rainbow Dash asserted as she pointed an accusing hoof out the door. "Only the guilty would run! Or apologize!"

"Would you stop it already?" Twilight snapped at her before turning back to the yellow pegasus. "Fluttershy, which way did he go?"

"Um," Fluttershy hesitated before slowly lifting a hoof in the direction of the woods, "that way. I think."

Twilight didn't waste any time dashing out the door, ignoring the cries from her friends as she charged back into the Everfree. She gave her claws a snap and an instant later their notated map appeared in front of her, unrolling itself just long enough to get her bearings before rolling it up and banishing it with another burst of magic.

She knew where Discord was going. She just hoped she could catch up to him before he did something really, really stupid.

Everything Works if You Let It

The shrubbery, it called to her.

Also, it was getting really, really annoying. It did, however, have one very useful feature at the moment - It was exactly where she wanted to go.

She let that nagging little voice that had been whispering in the back of her mind since she had touched that thrice-damned shrubbery guide her as she charged through the woods at full-speed, the forest passing by in a blur.

Behind her, she could hear the faint sound of her friends chasing after her, but her entire attention was focused ahead of her as she hoped to see a glimpse of red tail. "Darn it, Discord," she muttered under her breath as she ran, "You had to get heroic on me now of all times?" She didn't know what he was thinking any more than she usually did, but she knew him well enough by now to know this was weird even for him.

Musings on Discord's sudden out-of-character moment came to a halt as Twilight found herself barreling toward a ravine. Claws and paws dug into the ground as she skidded to a halt a half-step from the edge. Twilight took a deep breath in relief before she peered over the edge. "Stupid mind-controlling piece of horticulture," she muttered, "can't even give proper directions." Well, no matter - this was why she had wings.

Twilight backed up a few steps before she readied herself, purple feathered wings stretched out wide before flapping down as Twilight leapt skyward - and promptly face-planted. "Figures," Twilight grumbled as she wiped loose dirt from her face.

She was about half-way back onto her hooves when a small shout echoed from behind her, slowly growing louder before something crashed into the back of her and drove her back into the ground. "Hehe," the familiar voice of Rainbow Dash said from above her, "Sorry,"

"Don't tell me," Twilight replied flatly as she cleared her face again, "You suddenly lost the ability to fly?"

"Yep," Dash replied without moving.

"Weather control too?" Twilight asked.

"Uh, yeah," Rainbow replied, "How'd you know?"

"Just another effect of the shrubbery," Twilight replied, as she turned around enough to see Rainbow sitting on her back, "you alright?"

"Yup," the blue pegasus replied with a nod, making no move to get off, "Gotta admit, Twi - you make a much better cushion now then you did as a pony,"

"That's good to know, Dash," Twilight replied calmly, "Now, excuse me, but get. Off." Twilight punctuated the statement by wrapping her tail around the blue pegasus and removing her from atop her. She turned around, setting Rainbow down as she cleared the dirt from her face, in time to see three of her friends appear from around the trees. Applejack looked slightly more winded than usual, while Rarity was taking being in the woods as well as she usually did. Pinkie looked like she was out for a stroll. "Where's Fluttershy?"

"She was worried about leavin' her critters alone durin' all of this," Applejack replied, "though I don't think that's all it was..."

"The tree is emitting a wave of existential terror," Twilight replied as she dusted herself off, "frankly, I'm surprised any of us are still coherent this close to it."

"This is no time to be hysterical," Applejack said as she stepped closer to the chasm, peering over the edge.

"This is the perfect time to be hysterical!" Rarity replied quickly as she struggled to clear the twigs from her tail without her magic.

Pinkie stopped her hopping and glanced between Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight. "Should we be hysterical?"

"No!" Applejack quickly replied at the same time Rarity shouted a "Yes!"

"Maybe!" Twilight cut in, "But not right now!"

"Okay then!" Pinkie replied with her usual cheery tone, "So, how are we getting across that big ol' pit?"

"I don't suppose you brought any rope?" Twilight replied idly as she studied the chasm. It was deep, but not unnervingly so. Climbing down might be an option, though she would prefer to just go around it...

"Oh, sure!" Pinkie replied cheerily as Twilight looked left and right. The only question was which way to go? Guess wrong and they end up taking...

...wait. "What?" Twilight quickly said as she spun around to face Pinkie Pie.

"I said I've got rope!" Pinkie replied as she reached into her mane, "Well, ribbon actually, but it's basically the same thing! You never know...when..." Pinkie's searching slowed down as her grin started to slip, "huh, that’s weird. All I can find is my mane."

The three ponies and the draconequus stared at the pink party planner in silence until Rainbow Dash finally spoke up, "The tree managed to un-Pinkie Pinkie. We're doomed."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," Twilight replied, but even she was now starting to worry. Though... that did at least prove the Pinkie's abilities were some sort of magic... hmm... Maybe if she could isolate Pinkie long enough, she could reduce the variables and at start working out some upper and lower bounds. Perhaps she could-

"Twilight?"

Twilight snapped out of her chain of thought at Applejack’s voice. "Sorry, just trying to think. Anypony have an idea for getting across?" A collection of negatives echoed back, "In that case, left or right?"

"Oh! Oh!" Pinkie said as she waved her hoof high overhead, "Lemme choose! Lemme choose! I wanna go left!"

Rainbow Dash gave her a confused look, which was generally the standard look one gave Miss Pie. "Why left?"

"It's south!" Pinkie replied cheerfully, "I always like going south. Somehow it feels like I'm going downhill."

"...Sure," Twilight replied with a shrug, "Why not? Left it is. Everyone good to move?" Another collection of replies, this time in the affirmative, "Excellent - onward then." The four ponies and draconequus started off, Pinkie Pie quickly hopping into the lead, before entering into a Sparkle-centric orbit around the group as the rest of them walked along in a more... ordinary manner.

"Walking sucks," Rainbow complained after a few minutes, "What's magic got to do with flying, anyway?"

"Pegasi aren't able to fly under their own non-magic power," Twilight replied, "How else do you think it worked?"

"For higher speeds and altitudes, sure," Rainbow replied with a roll of her eyes as they continued to walk, "and yeah - fine spatial orientation would have to be magic, since airfoils don't really work backwards and ponies don't really have a proper tail for flight control. But I figured between lightened bone-structure and the specialized musculature I could..." Rainbow Dash paused mid-stride as she noticed the others had stopped. She glanced backwards at the four of her friends who were staring at her in varying degrees of surprise, "What?"

"The voice still sounds like Rainbow Dash..." Applejack said as she tilted her head, "But the words sound like Twilight..."

"Oh, har-har," Rainbow deadpanned, "You think flight training is just flying loops and circles as fast as you can? Gotta know what you're exercising to get better. I just... retained more of it than I expected."

"Well..." Twilight said after a moment, "to answer your question - it's a matter of surface area. Pegasus wings just don't have enough lift surface for more than gross maneuvering and stabilization."

"That's why you couldn't fly when you broke your wing!" Pinkie added with her usual cheer.

"...Thank you for reminding me of that, Pinkie." Rainbow deadpanned.

"No problem!" Pinkie replied cheerfully.

"Anyway!" Twilight cut in as she started forward again, "Try and stay close, everyone - given the current state of the forest splitting up is probably a bad idea."

"Twi, I think this whole thing is a bad idea," Applejack replied as she moved to catch up with the draconequus, "I mean, I know he saved you and all but I don't really think Discord needs us to save him."

"She's got a point, you know," Rainbow added, "I mean, isn't he supposed to like Celestia-tier? I don't think a tree is going to kill him."

"That shrubbery absolutely terrified him, Rainbow," Twilight replied, "nothing good can come of him actively going toward it."

"Except maybe it goes away," Rainbow said with a shrug, "I mean, he said he was sorry, right? Maybe he's trying to be responsible and stuff and clean up his own messes."

"Friends don't let friends go after evil horticulture on their own!" Twilight said back, spinning around to face the others, "If I had run off into the forest, you would have run after me."

"Yeah," Rainbow replied with a shrug, "but you're you and Discord is, well... Discord."

"Twi, I get that he's earned his way into your good graces, and I'm sure he's not nearly as bad as he used to be," Applejack said as she fiddled with her hat, "but that doesn't change the fact that runnin' in after him like this is a bad idea. You said it yourself - we need a plan."

"And I'd have loved to have come up with one," Twilight grumbled as she started stomping through the forest again, "I mean, really - is this supposed to impress us? 'Ooh, I went and made a mistake so now I have to do some stupid hero-thing.' Oh no you don't! He does not get to die just because he feels sorry for himself!"

"Does he really need us to save him though?" Rarity asked, "After all, you seem rather sure of his capabilities, at the very least."

"Against anything else, maybe," Twilight replied, "but this is a shrubbery that eats. Magic. Including Discord's - his reality warping, his flight, maybe even his immortality."

"Woah, woah, woah," Rainbow Dash gestured quickly with a wing, "back up - are you saying Discord is mortal right now?"

Twilight shrugged, "Maybe - we were discussing the possibility that it could leave one of the princesses vulnerable, and there's no reason to think it wouldn't have the same effect on him..."

"Twilight," Rainbow Dash cut in, "are you saying you found a way to kill an immortal?"

"...I guess?" Twilight replied, confused, "I mean, I have no idea if it can be replicated, but-"

"No buts!" Rainbow quickly replied before turning to the others, "Do you know what would happen if one of the princesses died? It would be a disaster of legendary proportions - we're talking wrath of Nightmare Moon type stuff - Fire and brimstone raining down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! The dead rising from the grave!"

"Cat and dogs living together!" Pinkie added.

"Mass Hysteria!" Rainbow finished, her spiel earning her surprised and vaguely confused stares from AJ and Rarity.

"Rainbow," Twilight said with a sigh as she rested a claw on the pegasus's back, "I never thought I'd say this, but I think you've been reading too much." Twilight turned to the others, "Girls, I understand if you have some misgivings about all of this - Celestia knows I do, but I can't just run away. If you all want to head back, that's fine. I wouldn't blame you. No reason for all of us to get into trouble just because of my own mistake."

"Twilight, darling," Rarity rolled her eyes, "do you really think we would just abandon you like that? As much as I might have my... misgivings on this course of action, Discord is still a friend of yourself and Fluttershy as well."

"Yeah," Rainbow said with a nod, "All for one and all of that jazz - if you aren't going back, then none of us are."

"Yay getting into trouble together!" Pinkie added with a grin, "Is this going to be the sort of trouble that ends with all of us in jail at the end of the night? Those are always fun."

"This is more of the 'calling everyone back so we can die together' sort of trouble," Twilight said with a sigh, "On the bright side - if we mess up, there probably won't be anypony left to get mad at us."

"Darling," Rarity said after a moment, "I do hope that wasn't supposed to be reassuring."

"Right..." Applejack said, "So, I guess that settles it then - we're going to try and save Discord."

"If it makes you feel better," Twilight replied as she turned and started walking again, "assume you're saving Ponyville and Discord is just a bonus."

"Sounds like a normal Saturday then!" Pinkie said as she followed behind the other four as they pressed on.

"Think I'll be able to hold this over him?" Dash asked as they pressed on, a sly grin on her face, "I've never been able to-" Whatever Rainbow was about to say was cut off as the hair on the back of her and everyone else's necks stood on end. They all had just enough time to give each other wide-eyed glances before throwing themselves out of the way as a massive bolt of electricity as thick as a pony's leg cut through the woods and snaked past them, a hair's breadth from some of their limbs before crashing into an errant tree that promptly exploded in a rain of splinters.

"What in heaven's was that!?" Rarity half-shouted as she wobbled back to her hooves, brushing splinters from her mane.

"The shrubbery, most likely," Twilight replied as she dusted herself off, "I think it's a means for it to regulate its own energy levels and prevent some sort of prompt criticality event."

"So," Rainbow asked as she recovered, "You were going to tell us this thing could shoot giant bolts of lightning when?"

"The last time it did it was when I touched it," Twilight replied with a frown, "If its discharging into the air..."

"I'm guessin' that's bad?" Applejack asked.

Twilight nodded. "Very."

"So, now the Everfree really is trying to kill us," Rainbow lamented, "Awesome."

"That bolt means we're closer than I thought..." Twilight added, before frowning, "but that makes no sense - the shrubbery is still trying to pull me the other way..." Twilight pushed further forward, pushing aside a tree branch before she stopped and gasped.

Applejack quickly moved up next to her, peering past the branches at what Twilight saw. "Is that one of those Discord vines?" Ahead of them, in a small woodland clearing, a tangled knot of familiar looking vine sat coiled. Sharp, wicked spikes protruded from it across its entire length, but it was the wrong color. Instead of the black organic appearance of those vines, this instead looked more like clouded quartz, bluish-white crystal shot through with veins of obsidian black.

"The Tree of Harmony should have eradicated every trace of Plunderseed vines," Twilight said as she carefully stepped forward, examining the growth, "and these don't look right - in fact, they look like-"

"part of the Tree of Harmony," Rarity finished for her before glancing at the draconequus, "You said that this... shrubbery, looked a great deal like the Tree, yes?"

Twilight nodded, "Whatever is going on, it's... hybridized the two entities into some sort of gestalt."

"What?" Applejack asked, "Like some sort of uber-plant?"

"More like some sort of chimera..." Twilight started before trailing off, her eyes going wide, "or draconequus. That's why."

"Uh, Twilight?" Rainbow said, raising any eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"

"Why Discord ran out here!" Twilight said as she spun around, "The shrubbery is-" They were cut off as there was another deafening crack of thunder a split second before a tree exploded into splinters and a familiar serpentine brown and grey form crashed into the clearing, landing near their hooves with a groan.

"Okay," Discord groaned, eyes squeeze shut, "that hurt."

"Did you just go through a tree!?" Twilight shouted incredulously.

"Twilight?" Discord said as he cracked an eye open, closing it again with a groan as he saw everyone, "And you brought the whole gang too..."

"You ran off into a forest to go after tree that you said could kill you!" Twilight shouted, "What did you expect me to do?"

"Send Celestia a letter?" Discord suggested weakly.

"Oh, of course!" Twilight replied in mock realization, "How could I have forgotten! Let me grab Spike and have him shoot off a letter via the magic that isn't working at the moment!"

"No need to get snippy." Discord grumbled as climbed to his feet, "You still haven't told me what you are doing here."

"Stopping that shrubbery," Twilight replied, "What did you think I was doing?"

"I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the situation," Discord said as he threw an arm around Twilight, "What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine - an eating machine. It's really a miracle of magic. All this machine does is grow and eat and make little shrubberies, and that's all," Discord turned her around and gestured at the tangled vine in the center of the clearing, "You see that? It's the first of many."

"Which is why we are here to help," Twilight replied flatly as she met Discord's gaze, "I don't care if I have to take you out myself, but you aren't doing this alone. I'll tell Fluttershy if I have to."

"Backstabbing, coercion, and black-mail," Discord said with a sigh, "the basis of every great relationship. You realize-" Discord cut himself off before spinning around and leaping toward the others. Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash found themselves flattened under the draconequus a split-second before another arc of electricity cut through the air, the space above their heads burning as the bolt coursed through where they had been a moment before.

Twilight blinked in surprise as her brain processed what just happened. "How did you see that coming?"

"I didn't," Discord replied as he eased himself off the four ponies, "but this thing is, how you say, kind of a dick. This is why I don't want you here!"

"It’s also the exact reason why we need to be here!" Twilight shot back, "No more of this lone ranger stuff!"

"Come on, Twilight," Discord said beseechingly, "Be smart about this-"

"I tried," Twilight replied flatly, "you ran off. So if I can't do something smart, I'm going to do something right."

Discord threw his claws up in exasperation, "This is insane."

"So was going after Nightmare Moon," Twilight replied, "So was going after Sombra, or trying to fight Chrysalis. I took a chance on you once," She poked him in the chest, "and I'll do it again, whether you like it or not."

Discord looked at Twilight for a moment, before turning to the others, "She isn't going to back down on this, is she?"

"We've been trying to get her to back down since we ran out here - no dice." Rainbow said with a shrug before getting a hoof to the side from Applejack, "Hey! I was just being honest - isn't that literally your thing?"

Discord sighed, "Yeah - I figured as much."

"Discord," Twilight said, softly, "we want to help-" she glanced back at her friends briefly, "-okay, I want to help you."

"Why can't you you just disavow me like-" Discord was cut off as the ground rumbled beneath them, and a moment later the ground ripped open as vines and roots shot upward, curving overhead before diving back down toward the group of draconequi and ponies. Without magic or flight, they scattered as the vines weaved around them, twisting walls of roots circled around them as the vines dived in and out of the ground as they gave chase, dust and dirt kicking up into the air until the entire clearing was clouded.

Twilight coughed in the dust, waving a claw in a vain attempt to clear the air. "Alright," she croaked, "Who's not dead? Sound off," A collection of groans from around her echoed back.

"Dang blasted vines bit me I think," Discord's voice sounded from somewhere right below her before he sat up with a groan and Twilight found herself perched more-or-less in his lap, "Someone's gonna have to suck out this poison! Now don't everybody jump up at once."

"The vine's aren't poisonous, Discord," Twilight said with a roll of her eyes, before saying more loudly, "Can anyone see anything?"

"Can't see squat, Twilight," Applejack sounded back, "This is worse than Appaloosa in a dust storm."

"Shorter though," Rainbow sounded from vaguely the same direction, "No wind to keep kicking it up."

"Oh sweet Celestia it's everywhere!" Rarity screamed from...well, Twilight wasn't quite sure. It sounded close though, "GetitoffgetitoffGETITOFF!"

"Well, they sound fine," Discord said before glancing up at Twilight, "You alright?"

"I'm fine," Twilight replied as she gave him a reassuring smile, "thank you for asking though."

"Of course..." Discord said as he brought a claw up.

"What are you-" Twilight froze as one of the draconequus's claws gently stroked across her cheek, gliding down to her chin.

"Shh.." Discord whispered, his claw coming up to rest against her lips, "just let it happen..."

Twilight could feel her heart pounding in her chest as Discord leaned closer, the same self-confident smirk that he always had on his face, his eyes gazing into her own...

...and then Twilight's own eyes went wide as she felt Discord's tail wrap a vine around her waist before letting it yank her back. She couldn't suppress the small 'hurk' that escaped her as she crashed back into a wall of tangled plant-life, Discord dashing off into the forest without her. "Oh, blast me to the moon!"

"Twilight?" Rainbow's voice carried over the barrier of vines again, "What happened?"

"Discord ran off!" Twilight shouted back, annoyed as she untangled herself, "Again!"

"Well, wait for us!" Applejack called over, before adding with a sigh "Twilight - I get it, you wanna help Discord since he's your friend. But its like you keep telling Discord - you can't go it alone! So why don't you..." Applejack paused before adding flatly, "...she's gone, ain't she?"

One of the vines shuddered before a hoof and blue-coated leg popped through before pulling back and being replaced with a pink eye. "She's gone." Rainbow Dash confirmed.

Another sigh from the farmpony. "We're all gonna die."

Any further complaints were far from Twilight's hearing and mind as she charged after Discord. She was of half a mind to drag him back to her castle and tie him to the bed to keep him from running off. The other half of her mind was busy panicking over the fate of Equestria.

Twilight had quickly lost sight of Discord, his form vanishing into the trees before she had even gotten onto her feet, but that wasn't a problem now. The air felt greasy to her, and that same incessant voice in the back of her head was now more like a shriek as it pushed her toward the shrubbery. And as she pushed through the forest, she found the terrain steadily growing stranger and stranger as the crystalline vines became more and more prevalent to the point is she often found herself running across larger twisted bundles of the strange pseudo-plant matter.

With the vines cutting massive swathes through the Everfree, it didn't take Twilight long until she once again found herself staring at the Shrubbery that seemed to be at the center of this whole mess. And standing in front of it was Discord. "What in Celestia's name are you doing?" she shouted as another rumble of thunder echoed from above the plant. In the time since they had first found it, the shrubbery had grown substantially, and now towered above all but the tallest trees in the forest. Howling winds were pouring off the plant, a whirling cyclone that tried to push everyone away even as it sucked in ever greater amounts of power. A defense mechanism, Twilight guessed - why the shrubbery wasn't interested in getting anybody close any more she didn't know, but it worried her.

Discord turned from the massive tangle of twisting crystal vines and thorns and gave Twilight a small, sad smile, "Celestia? Oh, no, my dear Twilight - this is all me," He turned back to the tree, "and I intend to end it."

"With what!?" Twilight shouted, "Our magic isn't working, remember?"

"Oh, it works," Discord shouted back, "The horticulture from Tartarus here usually eats it faster then you can put it out. It's just a matter of turning it up to eleven."

"Why are you doing this!?" Twilight shouted as she started to force her way forward against the wind, "This isn't your fault!"

"But it is!" Discord yelled, "My seeds corrupted the Tree of Harmony, and chaos magic - my magic - is what set it off. You can't argue with that!"

"I can still argue with you being a colossal idiot though!" Twilight shouted back as she slowly made her way closer to Discord, "Is this supposed to impress me?"

Discord gave a wan smile before turning back to the tree, "No - it's supposed to make sure you live." Discord planted both hind legs before reaching out with both claws, lightning arcing from the shrubbery to them almost instantly. Discord's head started to bow slowly as the force behind the bolts seemed to increase, and soon the draconequus was slowly sliding back, hind hoof and claw digging divots into the ground as he tried to force back a writhing column of lighting as thick around as he was.

Without warning, the massive bolt pulsed before vanishing in a deafening explosion of sound and light that made Twilight flinch back. As the spots cleared from her vision the bolt was gone, only a few wisps of steam curling up from the ground leading from the tree to where its target had landed. "Discord!" Twilight dashed over to him, the wind abating for the moment as the shrubbery presumably recharged. He was still moving, thank Celestia, albeit slowly, and at the moment the only sound he was making was a low moan. Twilight knelt down next to him as she reached his side, carefully lifting lifting him, "Are you alright?"

Discord's eyes slowly fluttered open, yellow eyes spinning around in their sockets before they managed some semblance of focus, "Oh, just-" whatever he was about to say was cut off as he suddenly started hacking, a claw coming up to his mouth until the coughing fit subsided, "...actually, no - I'm not alright."

Twilight looked him over with a combination of horror and dismay; parts of his coat were actually smoking, a few thick burns lancing across his shoulders and chest. A few splotchy bruises were already starting to form underneath his coat, but the most distressing part was... "You're bleeding!"

Discord blinked at Twilight slowly before following her gaze down to his claw, which was now covered in flakes of red. "Don't be silly," Discord replied weakly, "I'm not bleeding - I'm coughing up blood. Much worse." Discord collapsed against Twilight with a sigh, "Really, I thought you'd know better..."

Twilight looked down at Discord with wide eyes as he collapsed into her arms, "Discord? Discord! Come on - we need to move."

Discord chuckled weakly at that. "I don't think I'm going to be moving any time soon. Gah - how do you mortals deal with this sort of thing..." He managed to look up at her before giving her a weak smirk, "Sorry - looks like I couldn't clean up my own mess. Fluttershy would be offended."

"Somehow, I doubt that," Twilight replied with a weak smile, "Now, come on - we need to move you."

"Again... with the moving..." Discord said slowly as he started to slump against Twilight, "...you and your...bad ideas..."

Discord went limp in Twilight's arms, and she soon found herself panicking. "Discord? Discord!" His breathing was coming in shallow breaths, and his pulse was reedy. But it was there.

Twilight carefully lowered him to the ground before slowly standing. Behind her, the shrubbery crackled and rumbled as the wind began to pick up again. She turned to face it, her expression hardened into a mask of determination and fury. She gave Discord one last look before she started toward the shrubbery.

The shrubbery, for its part, seemed to notice this new arrival as the crackling redoubled and the wind grew in intensity until Twilight was forced to stop as she gazed up at the plant. Twilight reached out with her magic, and could instantly feel the web the shrubbery had spun. Countless strings of potentiality snaked out from the core of the bizarre hybrid, strands of probability and influence that formed a dense web that seemed to spread out like a dark facsimile of a root system. numerous wiry filaments had wrapped themselves around Discord, and as she watched several had started coiling around her like ivy.

"You want my magic?" Twilight growled as she dug deep into her own reserves of magic and willpower, drawing it out, "Fine! Take it!" Hundreds of strands lashed out from her, every one of them greedily pulled in by the shrubbery.

Which was just what Twilight wanted.

Twilight poured every ounce of magic she could muster through those lines, gossamer filaments ballooning into thick cords as they wrapped around the shrubbery, The shrubbery seemed to realize that something was wrong, and Twilight could feel its screams. She could feel it readying another burst of lightning, pulling in more power ever more rapidly even as its own hunger just drew Twilight's lines even further around it.

She could feel the thrum of magic inside it now - a swirling maelstrom of chaos and magic, of warped probability and potential destruction. Well - no more. Twilight began to twist her lines, forcing the shrubbery to bend to her will.

The shrubbery gave an inequine shriek, like the sound of claws across a chalkboard multiplied a thousand fold, before lashing out at her with magic of its own. Twilight bit back a shriek of pain as it felt like ice picks were driven into her skull while every inch of her felt like it simultaneously burned and froze. "I am tired," Twilight shouted out loud as she pushed through the pain and poured more of her willpower at the shrubbery, "of this motherbucking tree," she kept pouring magic through the lines until some of them started to snap like over-taut violin strings, "in my motherbucking forest!"

The tree shrieked back as the onslaught from the most powerful mage in a generation burned into its very being, and around Twilight the wind kicked into a powerful cyclone that whipped her mane into a storming halo about her head.

"Just!" Twilight forced her lines into its very core, digging into the nexus of the abominations power.

"Bucking!" The lines coiled around the flickering source of power Twilight could feel deep within the mass of pseudo-plant material, tightening around it like a vice.

"DIE!" Twilight screamed as she poured on everything she had - and pulled. Not sideways, not up, not down - just elsewhere. The shrubbery gave another final piercing shriek as it fought to stay in its native plane of reality, straining against the forces until it finally gave.

The air in the clearing went dead still and every noise stopped. For a moment, absolute silence hung over one corner of the Everfree Forest before an ear-piercing, alien shriek ripped through the air and the shrubbery imploded.

A thundering crash of sound and blinding light washed over Twilight an instant before the shockwave did, flinging her backward until she hit the ground and tumbled until she skidded to a stop near Discord. Twilight coughed weakly as she shakily propped herself up so that she could see what remained of the shrubbery.

The answer was 'not much' - apparently, magic plant-life didn't respond well to being shunted into parallel realities. smoking bits of crystal were scattered around the field, some of the chunks the size of a hoof and embedded into the ground. The shrubbery itself was nowhere to be found - imploded or simply moved elsewhere, she had no idea.

Twilight managed a weak nod before she collapsed, the familiar sound of her friends’ voices like a distant echo in her ears as the world went dark.

Cheap Trick

Twilight awoke to another unfamiliar ceiling.

Actually, no, scratch that. Now that her vision was coming into focus, she could tell it was Zecora's hut. The knot of wood in the third plank from the window gave it away.

Along with, you know, the herbs and tribal masks all over the place. Once you got a good look around, Zecora's place was sort of easy to identify.

"Uugh..." Twilight let out a groan as she slowly sat up, taking a look around. She was on the same small mountain of cushions she had found herself on before, with the marked difference of no Discord.

She was slightly disappointed, to be honest.

What was there was four ponies, all asleep and spread out around - and, in the case of Rainbow Dash, atop - her. There was a distinct lack of yellow and pink pegasus. Probably helping Zecora collect plants for her potions. Or making sure the local hydra hadn't been hurt in the giant-evil-shrubbery-explosion. Either-or.

She had just started looking around to see where Spike had ended up, when her breathing blue blanket started to stir, "Erm..." Rainbow blinked slowly as she awoke, looking up blearily at Twilight, "...huh?"

Well, this is slightly awkward, Twilight thought. Not as awkward as waking up to Discord on top of her - again. "Uh... hi," Twilight ventured, before finding herself asking “Why are you sleeping on me?”

Whatever question Rainbow was about to launch into was cut short as her mouth snapped shut and she carefully avoided looking at anything other than the draconequus. Which she was still laying on. “Discord mentioned sleeping with you, so...”

Twilight resisted the urge to face-palm and mostly succeeded. Darn it, Discord. Part of her success could be credited to the fact that somepony seemed to be using her arm as a pillow. Which made sense, given Rainbow had monopolized her torso. A quick look showed a blob of pink attached to her side. Any further study of her friends and their habits when using her as a pillow was interrupted by said friends waking up, and shortly after piling close to her as they bombarded her with questions. Well, mostly one question – what happened?

Pinkie wanted to know if she got a power-up.

“Girls, girls, calm down!” Twilight tried, “I'm fine, really.”

“Which is lucky on your part, Twi,” Applejack replied, “What were you thinking, runnin' off like that?”

Twilight considered for a moment before finally replying, “I didn't think there was time – Discord could have been in trouble. I couldn't just leave him on his own.”

Rainbow seemed mollified by the answer, but Applejack was less happy, “Twi, this is Discord we're talking about.”

“What's everypony yelling about?” Twilight turned to see Fluttershy walking into the hut, saddle baskets loaded with herbs and plants. Behind her, Zecora was eying their group expectantly, Rainbow in particular. Before the zebra could say anything though, a purple blur shot through the door, basket of collected herbs being tossed aside as a small dragon threw himself at the draconequus.

“Twilight!” Spike shoved his way past Rainbow Dash, the eagerness of the dragon finally enough to dislodge the blue pegasus from her napping spot, “Thank Celestia you're alright!”

“Why don't you thank me?” Discord grumbled as he stepped in from the outside, a basket of herbs carrying itself behind him, “I was actually there you know.”

“She wouldn't have even been there if it wasn't for you!” Applejack countered as she turned on Discord, “You're using your... wiles on her.”

Discord blinked, “I'm using what?”

“Your draconequus wiles,” Applejack replied, “Your chaos magic, your some-might-say uncanny ability to make a pony confused and-or compliant, of which I have had just about enough today.”

“Hey!” Twilight cut in, “No blaming my stupid on Discord! If I did something stupid, that was all me,” Twilight wasn't sure if that was a proper grammatical construct, but she wasn't going to worry about that at the moment.

“Twilight, I know you,” Applejack replied turning her back on Discord as she spoke, “this isn't like you.”

“Unless she thinks her old foalsitter is an impostor,” Discord corrected, “or she thinks the world is doomed, or that she's going to turn in a friendship report late...” Discord paused as noticed Twilight was glaring at him, “...what? I'm just trying to help.”

“Last time you tried that, a magic plant nearly fried you,” Twilight replied, still glaring, “Next time I beat it using you instead of itself.” Actually, that might be a valid experiment - though she'd need an anvil...

“...you did what now?” Rainbow asked, confusion evident in her voice as her question pulled Twilight out of her thoughts on how to test Discord's compressive resistance.

“Mr. Genius here,” Twilight gestured to Discord, who gave an indignant 'hey!' that was promptly ignored, “decided that the best way to fight a magic plant that was eating all of the magic it could get a hold of was to feed it even more magic. After the shrubbery took him out, I managed to turn its own ability against itself.”

“I'm still not sure how you did that, you know.” Discord commented.

“The shrubbery didn't differentiate between what it was pulling in,” Twilight replied, “It wrapped everything in its threads and pulled it in. I just fed it threads of my own.”

“Can't defend against yourself, huh?” Rainbow quipped.

“Not quite, but... darn,” Discord grumbled, “wish I'd thought of that. Still doesn't explain how you blew it up.”

“Oh, that,” Twilight chuckled nervously as she played with a pillow, “I might have...forcefully shoved it out of phase without compensating for aetheric noise.”

Discord stared at her for a moment before bursting out in hysterics. “Oh, that's brilliant! You telefragged it!”

“Would somepony care to explain?” Rarity asked, “I am afraid my advanced magic theory is a little rusty...”

“Imagine a tomato,” Discord said, holding out a claw as said object manifested itself, “and a colander,” in his paw a metal strainer appeared, “Now imagine throwing the tomato at the colander as hard as you can...”

The tomato flew out of Discord's grasp as he pulled his arm back, “I think they get the idea, Discord,” she despawned the tomato before turning to the others, “I basically made it do an improper teleport. Yes – that is as bad as it sounds.”

“Huh,” Rainbow said after a moment, “Didn't know you could make other ponies teleport like that. Why didn't you ever use that against... well, anything?”

“Because it's really easy to mess up,” Twilight replied, “and I’d be just as likely to blow myself up, and the best-case scenario is that it starts raining pony bits and nopony likes that.” A few of the others turned decidedly green at the last part.

“Sounds like you were very lucky then,” Fluttershy said before taking a seat next to Discord, “both of you.”

“I suppose we were,” Twilight said with a sigh, before adding after a moment, “...actually, We were really lucky. Well, I was at least. Impossibly lucky, even...”

“Uh, Twi?” Rainbow asked, “What are you talking about?”

“Discord couldn't take on this tree, and he's the lord of chaos,” Twilight said as she manifested a scroll and quill and quickly started to write, “I mean, I'm good but I'm not that good – why did the shrubbery counter-attack Discord and not me? Something about this doesn't make sense – I need more information. Spike, how's the castle?”

“Uh, fine probably,” Spike replied from her side, “None of us have been back to town yet.”

As much as she wanted to admonish them for that, Twilight couldn't help the small smile that found its way onto her face, “Why am I not surprised? Well – I'm fine now, though I don't think Zecora is going to let me leave just yet...” A quick glance at the zebra and a nod confirmed her suspicions, “... So I don't think I'm going anywhere for now. Go check on Ponyville – make sure it hasn't burned itself down.”

“Again.” Discord added as he fiddled with a tribal mask.

“-I'll still be here when you get back, I promise,” Twilight finished, ignoring Discord's interruption.

“Well, I ain't leaving you here with Discord,” Applejack replied with a final nod.

“Which is fine,” Twilight replied, “Since he's going with you.”

“Wait, what?” Discord spun around to face Twilight, though any look of surprise was obfuscated by the mask he was wearing, “Why?”

“I need somebody to check the castle,” Twilight replied simply, “and I need Spike here so I can work.”

Discord turned away with a small huff, “Well, fine then – don't blame me if you suddenly need a chaos god.”

“I'm sure I'll be fine,” Twilight replied, “just try to behave?”

“Oh, I'm sure he'll be no trouble at all,” Fluttershy cut in as she moved next to the draconequus, “Right, Discord?”

“And I'll be there if he isn't,” Applejack added, glaring up at Discord, “I've got my eye on you.”

“Well, that sounds troublesome,” Discord replied before reaching up and plucking out one of his yellow eyes, “want to borrow one of mine?” Applejack stared at it for maybe a moment before jumping back in shock, much to Discord's amusement. Applejack returned to glaring at him as he popped his eyeball back into place before he felt something smack him in the back of the head.

“Don't blame me if she bucks you,” Twilight said dryly as the others prepared to go.

“I'm sure everything will be fine, Darling,” Rarity replied as she swung the door open with a burst of magic, “You just sit tight, Twilight – we shall be back before you realize it.”

“Assuming Discord doesn't start a chocolate rainstorm,” Rainbow replied with a shrug as she flew out the door - literally, “Back in a flash Twilight!”

The other girls gave their own farewells, Discord filing out last as he trailed Fluttershy. He paused at the door, turning back to Twilight, “So, seriously – why did you follow me?”

Twilight looked up from the scroll she had started jotting notes onto – she already had a few ideas about what had happened, but she wanted to check her numbers before she got too far, “Like I said – I couldn't leave you on your own. You'd have done the same for me, right?”

Discord considered for a moment, “You know,” he finally replied, a hint of surprise in his voice, “you're probably right.” He vanished out the door before Twilight could ask what he meant.

“Okay then,” Spike said as the door swung shut behind Discord. On the other side of the hut, Zecora had busied herself with whatever herbs she had gathered, “What did you mean about 'impossibly lucky' earlier?”

“Exactly what I said,” Twilight replied as she continued to write, the quill guiding itself as she started pulling out books from behind her, “The odds that I managed to find some sort of weakness that Discord couldn't is effectively non-existent. So, Spike – if I didn't get lucky, how did I beat the Shrubbery?”

“Well, you are the element of magic,” Spike suggested, “maybe that gave you an edge?”

“It didn't help much against the original Tree of Harmony,” Twilight replied, “and my normal magic isn't working at the moment anyhow.”

“If it's not you, then it's the Shrubbery,” Spike continued, “It had some sort of weakness to you.”

“My thought exactly,” Twilight said with a nod and a smile, “but why? What would make the Shrubbery weak to me and not Discord?”

“Well, you aren't supposed to be a draconequus,” Spike suggested, “maybe it just didn't know how to deal with a transformed alicorn?”

“Thats...” Twilight started before pausing, “...actually not a bad idea.”

“You mean I'm right?” Spike said in surprise.

“The Shrubbery was the result of remains of the Tree of Harmony being exposed to chaos magic, at least according to Discord,” Twilight explained as she started working out the framework of the theory, “if its core essence is an amalgam then – in theory – it's possible that it would be unable to differentiate properly between a similar amalgam...”

“Such as what you'd get if you turned an alicorn into a draconequus?” Spike suggested.

“Possibly,” Twilight replied as she started pulling out books, flipping through them quickly before tossing them aside and pulling out another one, “Let's see... no, no, no – already tried that, didn't work – no, no, why did I grab a cooking book? No, no, no-yes!” Twilight stopped mid-page of a thick blue tome, “Aha! I knew I had a copy of Far Flung's Study of non-equine magic races'!”

“Twilight Sparkle, your next potion is done,” Twilight and Spike looked up as Zecora came around a corner, a plate with a collection of bubbling vials balanced on her back, “I think-” she paused as she looked around the space, “-My word, where did all these books come from!?”

Twilight looked around properly for the first time and finally noticed the rather sizable pile of books on either side of her, “...huh,” She said after a moment, “I forgot I could do that?”

Spike raised an eyebrow, “You forgot you could break reality and teleport half the castle's 'Advanced Magical biology' section to yourself on a whim?”

“Yes, that,” Twilight replied before giving Zecora an apologetic smile, “I'm sorry Zecora. I'll get these all out of here... somehow.”

It was Zecora's turn to raise an eyebrow, “You brought them here, did you not? Why not send them back with a just a thought?”

“The problem with accidentally doing magic,” Twilight said with a sigh as she started levitating the books into neater stacks – well, levitating some of them. A few just made their own way into neat piles as Twilight continued, “is that it's a pain to try and repeat.”

“Which means I'll probably have to lug them all back,” Spike grumbled before he had a thought, “...wait, do I outrank Discord?”

“In my castle?” Twilight replied, raising an eyebrow as she organized her stacks of books, “Yes.”

“Hey!” The three in the hut turned in surprise as Discord's head suddenly popped through the window, “I'll have you know that in certain circumstances I am the Equestrian government!”

“Those instances being when you've displaced the Diarchy and turned half the country into cheese.” Twilight shot back flatly.

“Well, yeah,” Discord replied with a blink, “what's your point?”

“What are you even doing here?” Twilight asked as she brought a claw up to massage her temples. She briefly wondered if Discord's paw might have been better for that then her pointed claws. Since she didn't have a forepaw, that would require either transfiguring herself or getting Discord to give her a massage. Hmm... That actually didn't seem like a bad idea...

...wait, yes it was. It was Discord.

“Fluttershy asked me to gather some edibles for the menagerie,” Discord explained, completely oblivious to Twilight's mental tangent, “figured I might as well see if the medicine mare had anything when I heard whispers of heresy. I thought we were equals!”

“Of course we're equals,” Twilight replied with a smile before pointing at the stacks of books, “unless heavy lifting is involved, in which case you're the bottom of the totem pole.”

“Well, that makes no sense,” Discord replied with a humph.

“It's not like you can't just teleport them all back to the library,” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes, “Or, really, do anything. Actually, now that I think about it – you can warp reality at a whim, why didn't you just make the animal food appear?”

“We've been over this,” Discord replied with a dramatic sigh, “it just wouldn't be any fun that way.”

“What determines if something is fun though?” Twilight asked as she pulled out another blank scroll, “is it an absolute, or is it connected to whoever is-”

“There's a draconequus draped across my window sill,” Zecora cut in, “Am I the only one who knows this still?”

“Stuff like this happens all the time in town,” Spike replied with a shrug, “you get used to it.”

“If this is what living in town is like,” Zecora replied, “I think I will stay with my nature hike. Please. Twilight Sparkle, drink your tea. You'll feel better afterwards, I think you'll see.”

Twilight gave Discord another look, “In or out. Either way – off the window sill.”

“In, of course,” Discord replied as she pulled the rest of him through the window, “So – what are we talking about?”

“Well,” Twilight started as she pulled her scrolls back out, levitating a cup of tea over to herself and drained about half of it in one pull, “I'm trying to work on the Shrubbery, but Zecora isn’t going to let me leave for a while and I still need you to move all the books.”

Discord snorted, “I already said-”

“Books. Now.”

Discord glared back at the other draconequus before rolling his eyes, “Uh, fine,” Discord gave his claw a snap, all of the books vanishing in a explosion of cherry blossoms, “there – all books moved. Now what?”

“Now,” Twilight replied, draining the rest of her tea before giving Discord a grin, “we do SCIENCE! You can go get samples, and then I can study them here!”

Discord ‘hmm'd’ for a moment before giving a quick shake of his head, “Workable, but I think I have a better idea,” Discord clapped twice, and suddenly Twilight felt herself being lifted, “The flying carpet – two sides, four edges. Good enough for most. Not for draconequi!” Twilight finally managed to stabilize on the strange surface she found herself laid across to get a proper look at what she was riding – the vast assortment of pillows that Zecora had piled up for her use were now clumped together like a swarm of oversized, not-particularly-hungry parasprites, “Ladies and gentledrakes, I give you the cushion swarm. The carpet of tomorrow. Fully configurable, Infinitely variable. Safe.” Discord's spiel was cut off as part of the cushions parted underneath her, causing Twilight to faceplant to the floor as her rear half remained aloft, “That’s not a cushion,” Discord said after a moment, “That's a floor. We sell those too.”

“Remind me never to go into business with you,” Twilight groused as she pulled herself back up onto the cushions. To her surprise, they didn't part under her this time. “And you can't honestly expect to float me all the way back to my castle, can you?”

Discord gave her one of his patented condescending chuckles – this one was of the distinct 'I know better than miss egghead' flavor – as he casually walked over to the door and wrapped a claw around the handle, “My dear Twilight, you aren't thinking with portals!” Discord pulled the door open and it took Twilight a good second and a half to realize what she was looking at.

It was a room in her castle – specifically, the backup map room, down the hall from the main map room.

The backup map room was one of Twilight's innovations in the field of magic castle design. It was a room. With maps. And a fireplace. And big comfy chairs.

It was very useful when you needed something other than a 1:1 million scale map of Equestria. It also only had one door.

Which she could see on the other side of the room. “Did you make another rip in space-time?” Twilight asked.

“Just a little one,” Discord replied with a shrug as he snapped his claw and Twilight found her pillow cloud floating her toward the door, “Now – over you go.”

Twilight tried to backstep, but when the floor was made of floating pillows, there was only so much she could do. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself as she neared the threshold. Or was it an event horizon? No – an event horizon for a wormhole would look more like rippling water then-

“Twilight, you can open your eyes now.”

Twilight slowly cracked an eye open and found herself looking around her backup map room. From the back of an old wardrobe, she could see Spike, Zecora and Discord staring at her. The first two looked vaguely worried. Discord just looked smug, “That wasn't too bad, was it?”

“Did you put a trans-spatial portal in the back of my wardrobe?” Twilight asked as she tried to regain her composure.

“Where else was I going to put it?” Discord asked as he reached through and grabbed to wardrobe doors, “Now you sit tight while I go check out the damage.”

Twilight finally managed to clamor off the cushions as the doors swung closed, making her way to the wardrobe just as the doors swung shut, “Discord, you are not-” she stopped as she pulled the doors open and found herself facing the flat wooden back of the furniture piece, “Oh, for land's sake... DISCORD!”

“You don't need to yell, my dear,”

Twilight spun around in surprise to find Discord standing there, calmly polishing his claw against his chest. She quickly started stomping toward him, glaring, “What in Equestria do you think you're-” Twilight moved to grab him but found herself grasping for nothing but air as she passed straight through him. Twilight stumbled to a stop as she glanced back at Discord, “...what?”

“My dear, you act like you've never seen a hologram before,” Discord said with a smirk, his image flickering briefly, “sorry – I commandeered your map room for it. Hope you don't mind.”

“How in Celestia's name do you know how to make a hologram?” Twilight asked as she finally settled into one of the chairs.

“You act as if I'd never seen a holodeck before,” Discord replied, “which reminds me,” he snapped his claw, and suddenly the room began to seemingly dissolve as Twilight suddenly found herself surrounded by endless inky blackness. A brief flash of light as a grid of green lines around her before the world... recompiled itself around her. As her environ finally finished restructuring itself, she found herself standing back at the former site of the Shrubbery, “There you go,” Discord said as he gestured around the semi-ruined clearing, “as good as being there, minus anything that will have that Zebra reversing all the blood in my body or some-such.”

Twilight wasn't sure if Zecora could actually do it, so she decided to the same thing she did when Pinkie said something bizarre – ignore it and press on, “You cast an undocumented enchantment on part of my castle,” Twilight said flatly.

“Only a little one,” Discord replied as he paced around the clearing, one eye trained on Twilight, “besides – can't have you in any more danger, now can we?”

Twilight rolled her eyes as she settled back down onto her pile of cushions, “Tell me Spike is there with you at least...”

“Right here Twilight!” Spike sounded off as he emerged from behind the draconequus, quill and scroll already in-claw.

“Excellent,” Twilight said as she made herself comfortable, “Discord – start collecting samples. Spike – take notes and make sure Discord doesn't break reality.”

“When did I ever break reality?” Discord protested.

Twilight raised an eyebrow, “Last Tuesday.”

Discord stared for a moment before dropping his complaint with a shrug, “Fair enough,” Discord snapped his paw and was suddenly in a red uniform of some sort, a strange gold insignia on the front, “Away team ready to begin survey, captain!”

Twilight rolled her eyes as she gave a wave to begin, “Make it so.”

Discord's grin widened even further before he turned and started pacing around the clearing, some sort of device in his claw beeping as he went, “Captain, these reading are off the charts.”

“Then you need to make new charts,” Twilight replied dryly as she watched, “just get a few of the shards to start with. Then we can see if there's anything left of the root system. Spike, remember to catalog the location of everything.”

“Bah, you're no fun,” Discord complained, but complied as he took a quick look around before heading toward the nearest chunk of former shrubbery, “Phew – this stuff smells foul.”

“I don't smell anything,” Spike said as he wrote.

“Interesting...” Twilight pulled out a quill and scroll of her own as Discord edged toward the shard, “could you be more specific?”

“It smells like Sweetie Belle's cooking,” Discord replied, scrunching up his nose at it, “guess half-phasing through yourself doesn't do much for your odor...”

“Wait, what?” Twilight said, head suddenly snapping up.

“It smells,” Discord repeated, “And bad – I didn't think anything could beat out that chicken coop, but-”

“Not that part!” Twilight snapped, “the other part!”

“Oh, that,” Discord replied with a shrug as he tossed the crystal at Twilight, “Take a look for yourself.”

Twilight moved to catch the fragment of crystal on reflex, and was surprised when she actually caught it. “I thought this was a hologram. How am I...”

“Chaos magic,” Discord replied as he pulled on a pair of sunglasses, “I don't have to explain jack.”

“But-” Twilight started, only to get cut off.

“Just look at the crystal,” Discord said with a lazy wave. With no other ideas, Twilight did just that. The inside of the crystal was amazingly clear, a vivid shade of purple throughout – flawless, save for one fact. Sharp planes cut through it, sheets of deeper purple that seemed impossibly thin. As she rotated the crystal, one set of planes vanished as another appeared, “See them?”

“I see them,” Twilight said with a nod, “but I have no idea what 'them' are.”

“Fourth-dimensional creases,” Discord replies, “What happens when one half of a crystal tries to teleport into the other half – sorta. My non-linear geometry is a little rusty.”

“So... It folded in on itself?” Twilight ventured, “Shouldn't that have just detonated it?”

“That's if you teleport something into something else,” Discord replied, “This is what happens when physics gives up the ghost and goes for coffee. Normal rules like exclusion principle stop applying.”

“Hrm...” Twilight settled back onto her cushions as she continued to study the crystal, “see if you can find more samples – and make sure the root system is gone!” Twilight ordered, quickly adding on the last part. Discord and Spike gave back a pair of affirmatives before setting to work, leaving Twilight with her new bauble. She tentatively prodded at it with her magic, and found it very bizarre.

It was like poking a sponge. A non-orientable sponge. That had calcified. And could induce sanity loss.

Okay, that metaphor got away from her, but it got the point across. This crystal was fundamentally wrong – which was pretty normal for chaos magic, Twilight supposed.

She turned the crystal over in her claws slowly as she carefully probed it. A thin strand of probabilistic energy worming its way in at one point before emerging somewhere else entirely, despite the fact that Twilight was certain there hadn't been any turns inside. Other spots seemed to be completely solid, resisting any probing. The fact that rotating the piece a full three hundred and sixty degrees did not, in fact, bring her back to the surface she started at was just icing on the proverbial cake.

A very Pinkie cake.

“There has to be something here...” Twilight muttered to herself as she kept prodding the crystal. She wouldn't accept the suggestion that it was 'just chaos magic' – those strings were a thing, and there had to be something similar here. Hrm – actually, there was an idea... “Discord,” she asked out loud, “what would happen if you cut all of the strings that were attached to something?”

“All of them?” Discord echoed back, before giving a snort, “not possible – eventually it will start trying to reform connections. You can't cut them all fast enough.”

“Hypothetically speaking,” Twilight replied, “just humor me.”

“Well, if you insist,” Discord replied as he settled onto a stump, “if you did manage to cut all the strings, the object would effectively cease to exist.”

“Effectively?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It's still there, but you just cut if off from reality,” Discord explained, “entirely – light, sound, touch, gravity, heat...”

“Space?” Twilight added.

Discord considered it a second before giving a shrug, “Well, I suppose. How else would you fold something on itself?”

“So, if you can cut all of those,” Twilight continued as she rose from her cushions, “could you just cut some of them?”

“Well, yeah,” Discord replied as he watched Twilight with a hint of confusion, “why would that-”

“Don't you see?” Twilight said excitedly as Discord suddenly found a very enthusiastic draconequus grabbing onto him, grinnng in his face, “this isn't just chaos magic! It's a fundamental interaction!”

“You're going to have to be more specific than that, Twi-URK!” Discord was cut off as he found himself wrapped in a crushing hug from the nominally smaller draconequus.

“Oh, this is brilliant!” Twilight explained as she swung Discord around, ignoring his demands that she put him down immediately, “not just one, but two entirely new fields of magic to study! I'm going to get published again! And all I had to do was nearly get killed and risk ripping another hole in reality!”

“Uh, I'm not sure if that was a good thing, Twilight...” Spike said carefully as he watched the two draconequus, “also, Discord is turning purple.”

Twilight stopped her excited whirling, finally releasing her grip on Discord as she looked at him, “Why do you even need to breathe? I've seen you turn into a carrot...”

“Narrative... causality...” Discord said between gasps for air, “it's funnier this way...”

“Right,” Twilight replied before holding up the crystal and continuing on as animated as ever, “the point is, we have a lead! The shrubbery was manipulating strings, which was the same way I managed to influence it!”

“And this has to do with why it didn't just ignore you how...?” Discord asked.

“I have no idea!” Twilight exclaimed, nearly bouncing at this point, “that's the exciting part!” Before Discord could say anything else, Twilight gave him another crushing hug before turning and dashing across the holographic field, reaching out and grabbing onto thin air before pulling the door open and dashed off into the hall. The only thing left in her wake was a glass bottle with an apple inside, spinning on the floor.

“Hey!” Discord shouted after her as he picked up the bottle, “you forgot your-” he paused as he lifted the bottle and noticed that the apple was suddenly absent. A glance down at the floor found the apple sitting where it had started near his feet.

Discord glanced between the apple and the bottle before crossing his arms with a huff, “Well, that was a cheap trick.”

Hello There

Twilight rolled over in her bed, pulling the covers over her head as she tried to block out the evil rays of the sun. Curse Celestia; she should have let Nightmare Moon win when she first moved to town – then this wouldn't have been a problem.

Part of her sleep-befuddled brain told her that damning all of Equestria to a slow frozen death was not worth her sleep, but the rest of her brain replied by pointing out that light was evil so shut up.

Still, she couldn't just banish her teacher now – a little late for that – so she would need a new plan.

“Stop taking all of the blanket already,”

Twilight blinked blearily at that, pulling down the blanket until she could actually see whatever had spoken up from next to her. She found herself staring at a familiar brown coat, “Can't,” she mumbled as she curled further into the blanket, “Gotta hide. Light'll get me...”

“Well, I'm cold, so...” There was a tingle of magic and then Twilight felt the blanket start to wiggle itself away from her and across the bed. With a mumbled 'no', she chased after the bastion of warmth, until she found herself cuddling up against the other body in the bed, “Much better,” Twilight said with a sigh as she relaxed against the warmth of the other body.

“What am I, your body pillow?” the other body teased as a flourish of magic began wrapping the pair of them in the blanket.

“Oh, shut up you old goat,” Twilight shot back, tucking herself under one of his forelimbs, “you know you like it.”

There was a rustle of movement as Twilight felt his claws begin to gently stroke through her mane, “I can't say I'm complaining...” Twilight let her eyes slip closed again, just enjoying the moment.

“This is nice,” Twilight murmured after a while. She had no idea what time it was now, and she was pretty sure she had other things to do today – but she didn't care at the moment.

“It is, isn't it?” he asked before Twilight felt one of his claws caress her cheek before coming to stop under her chin.

Her eye's slowly drifted opened as she felt him lift her chin, her purple eyes meeting his brilliant yellow ones as their lips neared each other, “Discord...” she whispered breathlessly…

“GAH!” Twilight shouted as she bolted upright in her bed, covers flying off the as the draconequus suddenly found herself flung back into wakefulness. She looked around quickly, as if expecting something – or somebody – to be there. She was alone in her room though, the dull light from the overcast weather outside coloring the room a muted blue. Stacks of books were scattered around, waiting to be re-shelved into the cases. Twilight glanced to her side, at an oversized lump under the blanket next to her. Slowly, she reached out and grabbed onto the blanket, yanking it away to reveal... one of her pillows.

Twilight sighed as she dropped the blanket, “Stupid dream...” she muttered as she pulled herself out of bed with a shiver. It was a cold morning – how she wished she could just curl back up under her blankets for warmth, cuddle up with…

She gave her head a quick shake as it drifted back to her dream. If only she had lit the fireplace last night – but after all of the work on the crystal, she had just collapsed into bed. She didn't even remember getting under the blankets. If only she could breathe fire like Spike, she could just warm herself up…

...Well, why didn't she just do that?

Twilight took a deep breath before turning her attention inward. She could feel the thousands of threads under the now familiar senses of chaos magic. She could feel a core of power within her, around which all of the strings seemed to wind. She knew how it worked for dragons – raising Spike had made her very familiar with draconian metabiology – so all she needed to was give herself an inner flame like they had.

Without accidentally setting herself on fire.

Right.

Twilight took another deep breath before pulling a thin strand from her core, coiling and twisting it as she pulled it ever so lightly upward before with a not inconsiderable amount of trepidation, willing it to ignite.

Her senses snapped back to normal as she felt a warmth flush through her body. The only thing she could compare it to was the feeling of drinking hot tea after spending all day out in the snow. Twilight took a deep breath before carefully exhaling, a small stream of smoke coming out with it. Encouraged, Twilight took another breath, bringing her hands up as she carefully blew out.

A small stream of flames danced in front of her as it shot from her mouth, the purplish-pink fire radiating waves of warmth across her claws. Twilight watched the flames danced across her claws as they petered out before she gave a little dance, “Yes! Yes! Yes! It worked! And I didn't explode! This is great! I can't-” Her jubilation was cut off as she inhaled a tendril of magical smoke and began to cough.

Her lungs cleared after a few hacks, and she was grateful she didn't accidentally start belching fire. There was already a slightly smoky smell in the air along with...

...was somebody cooking pancakes?

Now that she was no longer dancing about, Twilight realized she could also hear what sounded like singing. Really bad singing.

“-Is waiting to take you away, waiting to take you awaaaay~” there was music going along with the lyrics, and Twilight found herself slowly heading toward it as she padded out of her room and in the direction of the nearest kitchen.

She'd found three so far. Whatever designed the castle must have anticipated Pinkie's party-cake needs. When she finally rounded the last corner to the source of the sound, she stopped at what she saw.

Discord was in the middle of a small flock of moving cooking implements and bowls, a chef's hat on his head as he bobbed back and forth while flipping pancakes out of the pan and onto a passing plate. And he was singing, “I got everything you need~” Discord spun around as he struck some sort of pose, “Satisfaction- Oh,” the music cut out suddenly as he released the pan, letting it float back over to the stove-top as the cooking process continued on its own, “Good morning, my dear Twilight – care for some pancakes?”

Twilight blinked in surprise as a platter stacked with an extremely generous supply of fluffy breakfast items floated into her face, “What? I mean... but- what? What?”

“Pancakes,” Discord repeated, this time more slowly, “Fluffy flat things you cover in syrup? Pinkie can eat a few dozen in one bite?”

“I know what pancakes are!” Twilight nearly shouted before recomposing herself, “I mean, what are you doing?”

Discord blinked at her for a moment, “What are you, stupid?”

“I am not stupid!” Twilight shot back, her limited morning patience fading rapidly. Darn it, she needed coffee before stuff like this!

Oh, coffee – the only one who truly understood her…

“I'm floating a bunch of cooking bowls and batter around in a kitchen,” Discord pointed out, “so – seems like a stupid question to me.”

“He's got a point, you know,” Spike chimed in as he walked past, idly munching down on a large ruby.

Twilight sighed as she just slumped against the nearest counter, “...can I just get some coffee? Please?”

A moment later, she felt the familiar warmth of a full mug slip into her outstretched claw. She looked in surprise to see the unfamiliar mug ('Fools! I will destroy you all! Ask me how!' was written across the side) and Discord grinning down at her.

“One lump or two, princess?” He asked almost too innocently.

“Two,” Twilight replied, “and if you hit me over the head I will feed you your spleen.”

“Oh, you're feisty in the morning!” Discord said with a cackle as he snapped his claw, two cubes of sugar dropping themselves into her cup before a spoon flew over and started to stir.

“Warned you,” Spike replied with a shrug as he finished off his gem, “She's always cranky before her first cup of coffee.”

Twilight glowered at her traitorous assistant before turning her attention back to the coffee at claw. It was from Discord, so there was a non-zero chance it would turn her coat into polka-dots, but – coffee! Daily caffeine requirements beat out trepidation as she brought the cup to her lips and took a sip.

Time and space stopped for a moment as caffeinated perfection rolled across her tongue. She might even cry. It was perfect. The taste was a blend of all the taste and essences that made coffee what it was – and yet she could discern each and every one – perfectly.

“Discord...?” Spike said, seemingly far off as Twilight was lost in brewed perfection.

“Er... I can fix that,” Discord replied before a deafening crash left Twilight's ears ringing.

“Gah! What!? Who-?” Twilight looked around rapidly before she noticed Discord in front of her, holding a pair of cymbals.

“I don't just make coffee,” Discord boasted as he dismissed the cymbals into the aether, “I. Make. Coffee.” He then dumped a small scoop of vanilla into Twilight's mug.

“Why did you do that?!” Twilight recoiled in shock, taking her mug with her – alas, it was too late. The damage was done, “It was...it was.. perfect!”

“I didn't need you blue-screening on me again,” Discord replied, before adding with a smirk, “as much fun as watching you have a religious experience over something of mine is.”

Twilight straightened herself out, take a seat in a nearly chair as she took another sip of the coffee. She bit back a happy sigh – even with the dose of vanilla ruining it, it still tasted incredible, “Spike, what's on the to-do list today?”

“Another survey for chaotic events, I think,” Spike replied as he fished around on the other side of the counter for a moment. This particular kitchen had been decorated by Pinkie, it seemed – candy themed decor was scattered around the room, including the central island they were all seated at for the moment. A bird-shaped clock hung on one wall, singing a little tune at the top of the hour. The cheerful color scheme worked well, given that unlike the main kitchen this one lacked any real windows, “-ah, found it!” Spike reemerged with a scroll in claw, quickly unfurling it and scanning it over, “-yup. You wanted to see if the fnord levels were normalizing now that the shrubbery was gone. Mayor Mare was also asking if you could start helping with some event planning – there's a cultural festival in a few weeks she's hoping you could take point on. Princess Celestia sent a letter this morning,” Spike held up the scroll in question, “she's glad you're alright – also wondering if you were willing to start your diplomatic duties again.”

“So, no more all-day science,” Twilight said with a sigh as she levitated the scroll over and started to read it, a small smile crossing her face as she did. It was nice knowing that her former mentor still worried about her – even if she did, occasionally, over-worry. It seemed in this case, though, Celestia was going to trust her. The duties though... “guess the vacation’s over,” Twilight said with a sigh as she set the letter aside.

“We were on vacation?” Spike asked incredulously, “I thought we were nearly ruining reality... again.”

“Sounds like Celestia is finally starting to trust me,” Discord said as he lounged back in his chair, “must have been the flowers – mares love flowers.”

“Or she trusts me to handle you,” Twilight replied as she continued to read the letter, and found herself resisting the urge to sigh as she did. Princess Celestia seemed very willing to help if the need arose – and that seemed to be something she was expecting quite soon. “...Though not as much as I thought, it seems. I don't know why she doesn't trust me...” Twilight said with a sigh as she set the scroll aside.

“She trusts you just fine,” Discord replied as he dropped a plate stacked with pancakes in front of the princess, “It's me she doesn't like – I turned you into a draconequus, remember?”

“But I did that,” Twilight replied as she levitated over the syrup, “and she knows that.”

“Her precious student is suddenly turned into a copy of one of... what? Five beings to ever threaten her ponies? Not to mention I'm the only one she ever had a personal grudge with – and I'm directly connected to your condition. You really think she's going to be rational about any of this?”

“That... makes a lot of sense...” Twilight said reluctantly, “but this is Princess Celestia we're talking about! She's... she's...”

“Welcome to the world of demigods,” Discord replied with a shrug, “We aren't perfect – now eat your breakfast. We've got a long day ahead of us and I did not slave over a stove for it to go to waste!”

“What's this 'we' stuff Discord?” Twilight replied as she raised an eyebrow but began slicing her stack all the same, “and magic-animated utensils don't count as 'slaving'.”

“To the former,” Discord started, “are you going to let me stay here by myself all day?”

The image of Discord running amok in her laboratory appeared in her mind, destroying beakers, de-calibrating systems and leaving her books unalphabetized, “No!” Twilight quickly replied with a hint of panic.

“So, I can't stay here,” Discord reiterated, “and I won't get anything productive done if I go back to dear Fluttershy's – so I suppose that leaves helping you for the day.”

Twilight gaped for a moment at the sudden show of consideration from the lord of chaos, before snapping her jaw shut and giving him a scrutinizing glare, “Not sure if you're being sarcastic, or setting me up for something...”

“Let me put you at ease, Twilight,” Discord replied with a smirk, “I'm always setting you up for something. The question you should be asking is if I'm setting you up for something bad.”

“Are you?” Twilight asked.

Discord shrugged as he dropped into a seat across from Twilight with a plate of his own, “Who knows? I don't really see a reason for me to hurt you at this point – it would put a damper on all of our fun together!”

“Right...” Twilight said, unconvinced as Discord began to eat his pancakes with a straw – as in, slurping them up (loudly) like they were a milkshake. At this point, she was fairly certain he was physically incapable of eating normally. Instead of commenting on it, she turned to Spike, “What’s first on our schedule?”

“Meeting with the mayor,” Spike replied as he finished off a gem, “after that – diplomacy stuff, I think?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow at that, “You think?”

“All Princess Celestia said in the other letter was that she was going to send somepony from the Crystal Empire to talk about a new rail line today,” Spike explained as he pulled out the scroll in question, “she didn't specify a time.”

“How odd,” Twilight said as she levitated the letter over and gave it a scan. It was, in fact, surprisingly brief, which would be odd if it was anything formal... ah, “She probably means Cadence,” Twilight concluded as she dropped the paper onto her modest pile of correspondence and turned her attention back to her breakfast. Cadence visited... well, not all the time, but often enough that it wasn't really noteworthy. No more notable when she visited the Crystal Empire, she supposed.

“Sounds like a plan!” Discord said as he finished his breakfast, tossing the now empty plate over his shoulder and straight into a waiting sink-full of water and soap. Twilight half expected some score cards to pop up, “I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it!”

“Okay, now I know you're being sarcastic,” Twilight said as she started to eat, “If you're that bored – clean the castle,” Twilight took a few bites of her pancakes, washing them down with some of the almost-perfect coffee, before turning to Spike and saying, “And make sure he actually cleans the castle and doesn't, you know – do his usual thing.”

“On it,” Spike said with a sigh as he jumped off his seat, “how am I supposed to control him again?”

“Use your imagination,” Twilight replied as she stabbed another slice of pancakes, “I'm sure my number one assistant can think of something.”

“Hrm...” Spike paused, stroking his chin before turning to Twilight with a quirked eyebrow, “do I have your backing on anything?”

“...probably,” Twilight replied after a small pause.

“Perfect,” Spike turned back to Discord with a grin, “I guess you'll want to behave unless you want Princess Celestia to see those letters.”

Discord and Twilight blinked in confusion, “What letters?” they both asked in perfect synchronicity.

The grin Spike was directing at Discord just widened.

“...Oh, you little,” Discord's gaze narrowed as he stared down the young drake, “you are good.”

“What can I say?” Spike replied smugly as the two walked out of the kitchen, “I'm just that awesome.”

Twilight's eyebrow inched upward until she was certain it was going to depart her face as she watched the pair leave. Had Spike just... blackmailed Discord? And it worked?

She wasn't sure if she should be proud or mortified. For the moment, she settled on the former as she set about finishing her breakfast.

It didn't take her long to finish, and the lack of horrible noises from further inside the castle were a good sign – she hoped. What she did hear, however, were faint voices. Her castle, if nothing else, had amazing acoustics, which meant that sounds carried remarkably well.

Hrm... she wondered what the resonant frequency of her castle was. Or Canterlot Castle. Hrm... Was it possible to vibrate Canterlot Mountain apart?

Thought experiment for another time, she supposed – she didn't have time to pull out a chalk board and run the numbers. She had meetings to get to, after all. Instead, she followed the voices until she found her number one assistant and current advisor on chaos matters sorting out stacks in her 'arrivals' room.

After the Golden Oaks Library... blew up, she'd been working on rebuilding the book collection. And, given that a good chunk of her new abode was shelving space, she saw no reason not to expand while she was at it.

The fact that Princess Celestia had given her full access to the entire Equestrian Library System had nothing to do with it. Not at all.

With only her and Spike though, getting all of those books shelved took time. Until then, they waited in the arrivals room. What had been a dizzying array of book piles was now a neat forest of book stacks, with Discord sitting atop one as Spike tossed him books, “I'm telling you – Mare-do-well can beat anyone, given enough prep time – Yakistani poetry,”

Discord gave a small snort as he grabbed the book mid-arc, a flick of his wrist sending it gliding over to an nearby stack, “She's just a over-hyped ninja. Mistress Mare-velous has staying power – and she can think on her hooves.”

“What are you two doing?” Twilight asked as she looked between the two, trying to figure out what made Spike think throwing books around like that was reasonable.

“Trying to educate this young drake-” Whatever Discord was going to say was cut off as another book hit him in the side of the head, sending him rocking backward off his perch and toward the floor where he landed with a muted 'thump', “Motherbucker! You hit me in the ear!”

“Well, jeez,” Spike started to apologize as Discord pulled himself back up, rubbing one side of his head, “I'm sorry.”

“Ow, sweet Celestia...” Discord grumbled, “Why the ear man?”

“How about 'why are you throwing books around'?” Twilight cut in, her glare shifting to confusion as she looked around at the stacks filling the room, “and how did you do all of this so fast?”

“Magic,” Discord replied with a shrug, “The only ones left are the ones that wouldn't cooperate. Those preservation spells don't play nice, you know.”

“Well, assuming all of my books are still intact,” A sharp stare at both of them made clear that unpleasant consequences would be coming if they weren't intact, “we have a meeting at town hall to get to, right Spike?”

“The park ground, actually,” Spike replied, “The mayor is really keen on making this work – especially with tourist season coming.”

Discord blinked, “Ponyville has a tourist season?”

“To quote Mayor Mare at last meeting,” Twilight replied, “Not yet. Between my castle, cider season and the Everfree I can see why she thinks she could make it work.”

At the mention of the Everfree, Spike and Discord began to debate whether the place qualified as a potential tourist attraction or more literal tourist trap as the trio made their way toward the park ground. One advantage Ponyville had to many other towns of similar size was that, given its proximity to the Everfree, land was not only far cheaper than you'd expect for a place so close to the capital but also much less demanded. This gave them plenty of space for wide-open green spaces, such as the park ground.

What was usually a wide open field was currently occupied by a half-built stage and the starting of a small sea of tents. “How very... green,” Discord commented as they surveyed the scene before them.

“Luckily the shrubbery didn't cause any permanent damage to the town,” Twilight replied as she squinted, scanning the field for any sign of the mayor, “just a lot of panic.”

“Could still use some more color,” Discord replied with a shrug, “Maybe the flowers – Ah! That reminds me,” Discord snapped his claw and an instant later a bloom of poison joke appeared, “for you – a favorite, if I recall. hrm, no lapel for you to pin it to – maybe if we put you in a suit...”

“I think I can manage, Discord,” Twilight replied as she took the blue flower, checking to make sure it was properly neutralized before tucking it behind her ear. No reason to mess with the mayor's mane color – she already did that herself, “Anything else you want to do to me?”

“Careful, Twilight,” Discord replied with a smirk, “if you keep talking like that I might not be able to restrain myself – and we wouldn't want to make a scene in public.”

Spike groaned as he brought a claw up to his face, “Uh, phrasing!”

“You make enough of a scene in private,” Twilight grumbled as she finally spotted the mayor's dyed silver mane and started toward it, “I'm just glad the castle seems to be sound-proofed or the neighbors might hear the screaming.”

“Seriously, are we not doing phrasing anymore?” Spike nearly shouted as his other claw joined the first and cradled his head as he walked, “and... yep, now that image is in my head. Ew, ew, ew – I need brain bleach.”

“I can get you a bulk discount,” Discord said, grinning at the drake as he elbowed him, “given what's coming...”

“What's coming now?” Discord and Spike looked up to see the mayor approaching, giving a quick greeting to Twilight before turning back to Discord and the dragon.

“Just Twilight,” Discord said with a shrug, “but it was your idea Mayor, so you knew that.”

“Gah!” Spike threw his claws up and started stomping away, “I'll be quality-checking the doughnut stand if anypony needs me.”

The mayor and both draconequi watched Spike storm off before Mayor Mare turned to Twilight, “What's wrong with him?”

“Extended Discord Exposure,” Twilight said with a sigh, “Sadly, there's no known cure.”

“Oh, you know you love me,” Discord replied as he draped himself around Twilight's neck, “just admit it and then we can all move on with our lives.”

“What I know is that you drove my assistant to go seek a sugar-induced coma,” Twilight said as she pulled Discord's arms from around her, “So you'll be filling in for him for the time being.”

Discord gave a sharp salute as an equally sharp, charcoal-gray suit appeared around him, complete with glasses, “I live to serve, milady,” Twilight raised an eyebrow at the sudden change of attire – compared to his usual preference for garish orange and ridiculous cuts, the conservative look actually looked pretty good on him…

Twilight gave her head a quick shake before turning her gaze back to Discord, “Seems conservative for you.”

“Being crazy gets boring after a while,” Discord replied as he casually cleaned his glasses with part of his coat, “Well – let's get going. I'd like to get this done before Rarity realizes her spectacles are missing.”

Twilight thought they'd looked familiar, “Right,” Twilight sighed before turning to the mayor with a smile. “sorry about that, Mayor – where do you want to start?”

“Right...” The mayor gave Discord a nervous glance before focusing on Twilight, “Well, the Carrot's are taking care of catering, and the merchant stalls are already on their way up,” she waved a hoof at the sea of colorful half-erected tents around them, “so the major concern in the long-run is going to be logistics, but right now I'm worried about the calliope.”

Twilight blinked owlishly as she followed the mayor, “Ponyville has a calliope?”

They rounded one more turn as the mayor gestured grandly to the object resting at the center of the clearing, “Behold – the Silverodeon! Once the finest music machines this side of Canterlot,” The mayor dropped her hoof with a sigh, “Now it's one huge mess – and it's all yours.”

“You've got to be joking! This thing is a disaster!” Twilight exclaimed as examined the alleged instrument. What had once possibly been a magnificent collection of pipes, valves and whistles mounted on carriage was now little more than a pile of twisted metal and wood scraps.

“Be we're all so fond of it,” the Mayor said, imploringly, “Couldn't you try?”

Twilight gave the nearest piece a poke and the entire pile shifted, “What in Equestria happened to it?”

"Well,” the mayor explained, “We think it was during the panic from the tree-”

“Shrubbery,” Twilight corrected.

“-Shrubbery,” the mayor continued, “but to be honest we aren't sure – it's been so long since we had reason to pull it out...”

“Right,” Twilight said with a sigh as she crouched lower, pulling open a panel on the side and crawling inside, “Huh – wood fueled boiler?”

“Ponyville hasn't always had as many unicorns as it does now,” Mayor Mare replied with a shrug, “magic wasn't a real option.”

“Well it is now!” Twilight replied, the confined space she was in hiding some of the excitement creeping into her voice. She had a new project, and unlike so many others this one was short-term! “Discord, take note – I'll need a spell core to replace the steam system, a three-seventeenth left-leaning occipital Heterodyne wrench, a left-hooved Lurning wrench, two hinge clackers, twenty-seven meters of brass sheeting and my entire telescope mounting repair kit.”

The mayor blinked at that, “How would that help?”

“Have you seen this girl's telescope?” Discord replied flatly as he pulled a pencil from behind one ear as he gained a white dress shirt and black vest, along with the matching bow-tie and mustache, “Let's see, mademoiselle – that was one spell core, two wrenches, a pair of thingamabobs, a pile of metal and the box, noi?”

“Perfect,” Twilight replied as she finally emerged from the guts of the machine with a large oblong pressure-vessel in claw, “wow – this is so much easier with prehensile digits. Also, your fancy is terrible.”

“Hmph,” Discord said as he turned up his nose, the look of indignation lasting approximately half a heartbeat before his composure failed and shifted into a smirk, “Like you could do better?”

“Language lessons later,” Twilight replied as she dismissed him with a wave of his claws, “engineering now – Tools! Go!”

Discord arched an eyebrow as he watched Twilight inspect the object in her claws, “and what are you going to do?”

“Test this,” Twilight replied as she released the vessel, letting it float before her as she cracked her claws, a slightly manic grin growing on her face, “stand back! I'm going to try SCIENCE!”

“What does that-” Mayor Mare started before finding herself pulled to the side by Discord.

“Trust me,” Discord said, adjusting his beret as his mustache morphed from long and black to bushy and blonde, “this is going to require blast-shields,” a snap of his claws and a wall of transparent barricades assembled themselves in front of the pair, “Remember foals – don't try this at home unless you're a magical princess and-dash-or a lord of chaos.”

The mayor was about to ask Discord something – likely who he was talking to, given the empty state of the field save for the three of them – when a bright glow drew her attention back to Twilight.

The princess was now staring intently at the pressure vessel that hung in the air before her, forepaws outstretched as the vessel gently rumbled. Slowly, the shaking grew more intense, the vessel vibrating almost into a blur before suddenly going stalk-still, “Hah!” Twilight explained, “Still go-”

And then the bottom of the vessel burst off, sending the rest of the piece rocketing off like a low-level shooting star and zipped across the clearing as little more than a blur. The hyper-accelerated chunk of metal whistled through the air, skipping off the ground in a cloud of dust as it sailed past tents that were, thankfully, empty this early in the morning.

So it was, of course, when somepony decided to come around the corner, “Excuse me, I was told that I could find Princess Twi-” The orange pegasus had just enough time for his eyes to go wide before the impromptu projectile hit him square in the face.

Guard armor wasn't rated for speeding boiler impacts, it seemed.

Ain't That a Shame

“Not much of a soldier, are you?”

“Flurgen,” the pegasus mumbled in reply as he laid sprawled on his back, legs kicking in the air lazily as Discord gazed down at him.

The lord and ruler of chaos considered him for a moment before turning and shouting, “Hey, Twily, I think you-Oh,” his shouting dropped to a more normal volume as he continued, “Mayor's still reprimanding you. Nevermind then.”

Across the field, Twilight and Mayor Mare were quickly trotting toward Discord and the grounded guard, the purple draconequus had a look of utter mortification on her face while the Mayor was in the middle of a rant, “-a princess, Miss Sparkle! I can understand your enthusiasm for your work – Celestia knows I'd bury myself in it if I was in your condition – but what were you thinking?!”

“That it wouldn't explode like that!” Twilight quickly replied as they neared the poor pegasus, “I wasn't putting that much pressure in it... I think.”

Discord raised an eyebrow, “You think?”

“It's Chaos Magic!” Twilight snapped at him as the pegasus pulled himself to his hooves, drawing the princess’s attention, “I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for that to happen, uh...”

“Sentry, your highness,” the guard replied woozily, his shock of blue mane wobbling slightly as he bobbled, “Flash Sentry....” He squinted for a moment, “I think I'm still seeing stars...”

“Well, you're standing at least,” Twilight said with a sigh of relief, “That's a good sign. So then, Flash-”

“Ah Aaaaaaaaaaah~” The two mares turned to glare at Discord, who just shrugged, “What?”

The mayor blinked at Discord while Twilight just rolled her eyes as she continued talking to Flash Sentry, “Anyhow, Flash...” Twilight paused for a moment, squinting at the royal guard, “...have we met?”

“I escorted Princess Cadence to town on one of her visits,” Flash replied as he tried to blink his eyes clear, “...Ah, that's better. I can finally...” Flash Sentry paused as he seemed to finally get a good look at Twilight. He stared at her for a moment before looking at Discord and paling, “...bwah.”

“These pauses are getting annoying,” Discord muttered as Flash glanced between him and Twilight.

“T-Two of them,” Flash sputtered, eyes going wide and pupils constricting into pinpricks, “there's two of them!”

“Well, yes,” Mayor Mare replied, not following as she watched the guard backpedal, “why are you-”

“Aaaaah!” Flash Sentry screamed before turning and running out of the clearing.

The three watched the pegasus dash away for a few paces before taking wing and heading for town, “You know,” the mayor said after a moment, “I forget that this sort of thing isn't normal is most towns...”

“I think he forgot that you were here,” Discord quipped, “It looks like he's flying toward City Hall...”

“I'll go talk to him,” Twilight said with a sigh, “assuming he isn't just flying north, that is.”

“Nah,” Discord said with a shrug, “Wrong season to migrate.”

Twilight shot another glare in his direction but Discord just rolled his eyes, “Oh, please – you practically walked into that one!”

“Just... stay here,” Twilight asked as one claw came up to her face, trying to fight off her first proper headache of the day, “Please?”

“You have my word,” Discord stood a little straighter as he raised his right paw, “I solemnly swear that I am up to- no, wait, wrong joke,” he relaxed into his usual curved slouch a he snapped his claw, summoning a scroll and quill. He grabbed both of them, quickly jotting something down before finishing with a flourish and tossing the scroll toward the purple draconequus, “There – one signed promise to behave. You like notary, don't you?”

Twilight's eyebrow rose as she unrolled the scroll and giving it a quick read, “...you signed this 'Q'.”

“Your point?” Discord replied with a smirk.

Twilight gave a groan as she tossed the scroll to the mayor, “Mayor Mare, would you kindly keep an eye on him while I handle this?”

The mayor glanced at Discord nervously, “I'm not sure I'm qualified, Princess...”

“He's mostly harmless,” Twilight assured her, adding after a moment, “actually, he could... nah.”

Discord raised an eyebrow at that, “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Twilight replied with a shrug, “I was just thinking that this is really going to cut into my schedule for the day – I still need to help with the festival planning. You could but, well...” Twilight finished with a shrug.

“Oh, please,” Discord scoffed, “I am a lord of chaos! And I hang out with Pinkie Pie – an over-sized party like this is foal's’ play.”

Twilight gave a bark of laughter, “Twenty bits says you make a mess of it.”

“Up the stakes and you’re on,” Discord shot back with a smirk.

“Deal,” Twilight replied with a wave as she turned and started after Flash, “He's all yours, Mayor Mare. If he tries anything, just find Spike and ask for the letters.”

As Twilight headed toward town and wherever the panicked guard had gotten off to, the mayor simply turned to Discord with a quirked eyebrow, “...What letters?”

Twilight left Discord to get himself out of that particular hole as she headed into town. A small crowd had gathered near the front doors to the town hall, likely drawn by whatever had burst through the front doors in enough of a hurry to knock both doors off their hinges. Nopony gave the princess any mind, draconequus or not, as she trotted up the steps and inside. She'd transformed more than a week ago – old news.

Twilight paused in the main lobby, quirking an ear as she listened before the sound of crashing echoed from upstairs. Twilight calmly made her way up to the town offices, the curving hall giving expansive views out across town on one side. On the other, wood and fogged glass doors had been flung open as a familiar looking pegasus dashed between offices, “Where the hay is everyone!?”

“Taking the day off, I imagine,” the pegasus froze in the hall before he turned to stare at the purple draconequus as she continued, “or helping with the festival setup – the mayor really wants this to work out.”

The pegasus guard stared for another moment before he started to backpedal frantically, not even slowing down as he tripped and fell onto his rump, his eyes never leaving Twilight, “Oh, please Celestia no, you're one of them! You're one of them! No, nonono!”

Twilight sighed as she walked down the hall after the panicking guard, a wave of her claw lifting him off the ground up to eye level as she approached him, “You know, I really need you to calm down if either of us are going to do our jobs. You have a rail line to get approved, I have a festival in three weeks to plan...”

“Three days.”

Twilight blinked in surprise as she looked at the guard, “Come again?”

“Three days,” the still levitated pegasus pointed a shaking hoof at a nearby office, “the calendar in there said the harvest festival was in three days. The Daring Do festival is in three weeks.”

Twilight groaned as lowered the pegasus to the ground, “The mayor and her tourism plans...” she turned to the guard, “Flash Sentry, right?” The pegasus nodded silently, “Okay then, Flash – what did my sister send you down here for?”

“H-Hazard assessment of the route,” Flash stammered, “Princess Cadence was worried about possible megafauna along the proposed route.”

“And changes to a rail line route require royal approval,” Twilight added with a sigh, “Of course,” Twilight turned and started back down the hall as she continued to speak, “Well, come on then – we have work to do.” Flash Sentry just stared in confusion as Twilight turned and headed back downstairs while his brain tried to catch up with reality. Twilight's head emerged from the stairwell again as she shot him a look, “Come on, we don't have all day.”

“Yes princess!” Flash blurted as his hooves started moving, “Coming princess.”

Twilight started back down the stairs, the orange pegasus following behind her before she paused part-way down, “Oh – hold on,” Twilight glanced back at the floor they had just departed, face scrunching up in concentration before she snapped her claw. A heartbeat later, there was a flurry of sound and motion from behind them before suddenly dying down, “Much better,” Twilight said with a nod before starting down the stairs again.

“Uh,” Flash stammered as he glanced back up the stairs, “What was that?”

“Just cleaning up,” Twilight replied simply, “Don't worry about it.”

“Right...” Flash replied as he followed the princess out of town hall and back down the street.

“So,” Twilight said as they headed down the street, “We've got some time until we reach my castle – tell me about the rail line.”

“I thought we were going to the park grounds?” Flash asked, the confusion in his voice as obvious as her nervousness. Why he was nervous, Twilight had no idea. It wasn't like she was planning to dissect him or something.

“I need equipment for the Silverodeon,” Twilight explained, “and I don't trust Discord to find all of it. So, come on – start talking.”

Flash hesitantly began to give Twilight an overview of the situation as they made their way across town. The currently proposed route would pass just to the east of Cloudsdale's shadow before striking north across the plains in a more-or-less straight line from Ponyville to the Crystal Empire. The only problem was...

“There's a reason the northern plains are mostly empty,” Twilight said as she handed Flash Sentry another bundle of supplies as the pair made a slow lap of Twilight's workshop.

“Which is what has Princess Cadence worried,” Flash replied as he took the bundle with one wing and adding it to the growing pile of tools and supplies on his back, “Hence the route assessment by the smartest princess in Equestria.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Twilight said with a smirk as she retrieved a book from a shelf, “Discord's already tried. Repeatedly.”

“Princess Cadence's phrase,” Flash replied, “Not mine.”

“So, what was all of this about a re-route?” Twilight asked as she did a quick tally of her equipment.

“Prince Shining Armor suggested routing the line around Canterlot Mountain and past Neighagra Falls.”

“But then you end up with a route nearly as long as the current line,” Twilight mused as she led the way out of her castle and back toward the park ground, “thus rather defeating the purpose of a new route.”

“Well, two routes would reduce-” Flash started to say, but paused as a pair of ponies rushed past them and toward the park ground, “Where are they going?”

“Not sure,” Twilight replied with a frown as she watched them go past, “maybe something happened?”

“Why does it always have to be a bad thing?” Flash asked, "maybe they're going to a swap meet.”

Twilight gave the guard a flat stare, “Discord is in that direction.”

“So...” Flash replied hesitantly, “...not a swap meet then.”

“Come on,” Twilight ordered, “and don't drop anything!” Twilight's pace increased and Flash moved to keep up as the pair made a beeline for the park grounds and its sea of tents, a steady stream of ponies proceeding ahead of them, apparently bound for the same destination.

The stream of ponies terminated not far from where Twilight had left Discord. Discord, for his part, was apparently being true to his word and not causing any trouble. Mayor Mare was directing him about as he floated tents around, though most of his attention seemed to be focused on spicing up the décor. Twilight could already spot a few planters of poison joke scattered around some of the tents. Twilight could tell that he'd at least been considerate enough to neutralize them, though based on how the other ponies were giving them all a very wide berth, he hadn't told them that.

What really caught her attention though was the small crowd of ponies surrounding Discord and the mayor. Ponies who were not staring at him in terror and or awe, were not currently suffering from some bizarre magic affliction and, in fact, all seem quite interested in talking – or at least listening to the Lord of Chaos.

“...Twilight true?” Twilight heard the gray pegasus stallion standing closest to Discord ask.

“Everything is true.” Discord replied with a shrug as he placed a tent and its slightly scared owner back on the ground before snapping his claw and giving its décor an upgrade from 'sedate' to 'baroque grandeur'. It might have been a bit much for a pie stand though.

“Even false things?” The pegasus stallion asked, as few of the other ponies behind him murmured to themselves.

“Even false things are true.” Discord said simply as he moved the stage a few dozen paces to the right as he summoned forth a few more poles that promptly shot out a plethora of ribbons out to stretch down from their tops to the ground, marking out wide circles around the poles.

“How can that be?” the pegasus asked, the confusion evident on his face reflected by those behind him.

“I don't know, man, I didn't do it,” Discord replied with a shrug as he glanced at the crowd and finally noticed Twilight, “Ah – Princess! How's our orange pegasus friend?”

“Calmer,” Twilight replied, gesturing at Flash to deposit the pile of material on his back near the ruined calliope as she continued, “He was nice enough to help me bring my equipment back.”

“And I was just going to teleport it over,” Discord said with a shrug, “Or, you could have just teleported it over and... Twilight, what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Twilight replied as she gave her forehead one final smack, “Just realizing that I'm not a clever pony...”

“No,” Discord said with a shrug as he turned back to re-arranging the festival, “You're a crazy draconequus. Much more fun. Are you going to blow something else up?”

“Why would she blow up something else?!?” Flash asked loudly from near the calliope as he finished unloading the equipment and supplies.

The elder draconequus just grinned, “Discord wants big boom.”

“I think the mayor would be upset if I put a crater in the middle of her festival,” Twilight replied as she rolled her eyes, “just help me with this calliope, will you?”

“Not going to go fetch Spike?” Discord asked as he none-the-less obeyed the order.

“He deserves a break after spending so much time around you,” Twilight said as she walked over to the ruined instrument and plucked a wrench from the ground where Flash had set it.

“And having to play minion to your sparkly purple tush has nothing to do with it, obviously,” Discord said sarcastically as Twilight started to crawl inside the wreck.

She pulled herself back out just long enough to give Discord a flat glare, "Don't make me send you to another dimension."

Discord gave a snort, “Like you would do it.”

“Need I remind you that I turned you into a statue once?” Twilight remarked as she crawled back into the calliope.

“So did Celestia,” Discord replied as he handed Twilight a roll of copper and a pair of emeralds from the pile, “What's your point?”

A sigh echoed out from inside the calliope, “I have no idea – just pass me another emerald.”

The afternoon passed quickly as Twilight began to systematically disassemble the calliope, refitting what she could and replacing wholesale anything too damaged or simply not to her liking. Slowly, the broken instrument was converted into neat rows of parts and components. Discord and Flash were kept busy helping her or, in Discord's case at least, improving the festival's decorations. By the time she finally pulled herself out of the now thoroughly torn apart calliope, she had to double-check that she was still in Ponyville.

While she had been working, she had apparently been transported through space and time to, based on the décor, Veneighce roughly four-hundred years ago. Based on the fact that she couldn't see the sea she figured she must have been on one of the larger islands, but she could definitely smell it – a late evening breeze carried the salty smell of the ocean to her nose. A pair of towering stone columns stood at one end of a large square which were where, if she recalled correctly, they strung up thieves.

“Like it?”

Twilight spun around to see Discord grinning at her, “How badly did you just wreck reality?” she asked, “since part of me is saying we've time traveled but another part of me is saying even you aren't that good,” She groaned as she brought a claw up to massage the bridge of her nose, “Darn it, I told you not to-”

“Discord!” Twilight was interrupted as Mayor Mare approached, a spring in her step and a large grin on her face. A couple of steps behind her, Spike was looking around the Veneightian market with much surprise as Twilight. The mayor's grin was still in place a she came to a stop in front of Discord, “Excellent work on the water features!”

“I live to serve, mayor,” Discord replied as he gave a bow, rising out of it before adding with a frown, “Well, technically I live for chaos – but same thing,” He gave a shrug before continuing, “Anything else mayor?”

“Not at all, Discord,” the mayor replied before giving him a polite nod, “Thank you.”

Discord considered her for a moment before looking past her at Spike, “Did she just thank me?”

“Sounded like it,” Spike replied with a nod.

“And I thought Twilight doing that felt weird!” Discord said as he shivered.

The mayor simply rolled her eyes before turning to the princess, “How is our fair Silverodeon looking, Twilight?”

“Better then I thought,” Twilight replied as she gestured at the parts she had laid out, “None of the harmonics are damaged, so it should be done in a day or two,” Twilight's eyes narrowed, “just in time for the festival.”

The mayor looked sheepish for a moment, “Ah, yes – I suppose I should have mentioned-”

“Do you have any idea what could have happened?” Twilight said, cutting the mayor off, “I'd started planning my entire schedule based on that piece of information! Do you have any idea what that would mean? I'd have started making check lists that Weren't. Valid!”

The mayor backed up half a step as Twilight pressed closer, “I, uh...”

“Do you have any idea how much I'm juggling right now?” Twilight continued, “My sister-in-law needs a rail line that won't get ponies eaten every other kilometer, I've got to figure out why that Shrubbery didn't turn my brain into soup, and I have to keep Discord in line!”

“Don't forget about trying to turn back into a pony,” Discord added.

“That too,” Twilight replied idly before bearing down on the mayor again, “How do you expect me to work without valid data!?”

“I, uh...” The mayor shrunk back with a nervous gulp before finally stammering in a voice barely above a whisper, “...sorry mistress...”

Twilight didn't seem to notice as she just brought a claw up to her face with a sigh, “At least I caught it early – Spike?”

“Already on it,” the young dragon said, quill and scroll already in-hand, “Let's see – you could probably handle that chaos magic survey you wanted tomorrow if you multi-task. That'll leave the day after free for finishing the callo...kali...calip – the music cart thing.”

“It's a calliope, Spike,” Twilight replied with a smile as she started packing up her tools, “Also known as a steam organ, or a- hrm...” Twilight paused as she looked around her work space, “...how am I going to get all of this back to the castle?”

“I could just teleport it,” Discord suggested.

“I'd rather not have all of it turned into green jello,” Twilight replied simply, “I knew there was another reason I didn't ask you to do that earlier.”

“...fair enough,” Discord replied with a shrug, “You could teleport it?”

“For some of it, sure,” Twilight replied before pointing to a large steel and stone orb covered in piping, “But I have no idea how the spell core will react to it,” she turned to Discord, “Mind carrying it for me?”

“I would love to, my dear,” Discord began before pressing one paw to his back and literally bending backward, “Really, I would – but I threw my back out making a basilica, so...”

“Right,” Twilight replied with a roll of her eyes as she decided pushing matters wasn't worth it. Besides, she'd just noticed plan B fishing the last of her tools out of the innards of the calliope, “Flash Sentry.”

“All tools accounted for, Ma'am!” the pegasus guard announced with a salute before giving the cart a nervous glance, “Is it just me, or is that bigger-”

“Never mind that right now,” Twilight quickly cut him off, “Can you carry the spell core back to the castle for me?”

“...yes?” Flash replied after a moment.

“Perfect!” Twilight said as she teleported the rest of the equipment away with a snap of her claw and a smile, “then just grab it and we can be on are way!” Twilight made it three steps before realizing she had no idea how to get from the middle of a Veneightian market to her castle, “uh...”

“Just follow me,” Discord said with a roll of his eyes before plucking up Spike and depositing him on his shoulder before shouting back, “Try to keep up, soldier!”

“I'm more worried about you pushing yourself,” Flash retorted as he fell into a step a few paces behind Twilight, just off to the side, “someone as old as you should slow down.”

“Don't be rude Sentry,” Twilight commented idly without looking up from the small notebook she had at some point started scribbling in, “talking about an immortal's age isn't polite.”

Discord raised an eyebrow, “Personal experience?”

“I ask one question about whether she's older than the castle, and suddenly it’s no cake for a week!” Twilight exclaimed as she threw her forelegs up in frustration, “I was twelve! I didn't mean anything by it.”

“Oh, Twilight,” Discord sighed, “I should have let you be in charge ages ago – all the chaos, none of the trouble!” He then gestured at the small canal running next to them, a gondola pushed along by a pony floating by, “plus I get to indulge in my hobbies again – always a nice bonus.”

“You have hobbies?” Twilight deadpanned.

“Of course I have hobbies!” Discord replied with feigned shock, “Architecture, bird watching-” he reached behind one of Twilight's ears before pulling back, a blue flower in his claw, “-gardening.”

“You are a draconequus of many talents,” Twilight replied as she let Discord tuck it behind her ear, “Thank you – I wasn't aware I'd lost the last one.”

“Probably inside the calliope,” Discord replied with a shrug, “or floating around town somewhere.”

“...you have been neutralizing them, right?” Twilight asked.

Discord tapped at his chin, “...anypony in town not a teenager reporting strange changes to their body?”

“No.”

“Then I've been neutralizing them,” Discord concluded as he started forward again, “Oh – we should take a detour. I know this place nearby that makes the best crepes...”

“You built this place three hours ago, Discord,” Twilight replied flatly.

“Which just means most ponies don't know about it yet,” Discord replied, “Come on.”

Twilight sighed and rolled her eyes, but followed all the same.

It wasn't until two hours, one stop for (admittedly excellent) crepes and Flash Sentry had been settled into one of her castle's many guest rooms that Twilight realized, a moment after her head hit her pillow, that she had completely forgotten about the train project.

“...horseapples.”

Well, she couldn't call it a night with something like that gnawing at the back of her mind. She pulled her pillow closer as she reaffirmed the conclusion. Still... it had been a long day. Probably best to get a quick nap in to keep up her strength, “If only I could map faster...” Twilight mumbled to herself as she drifted off to sleep.

Twilight's slumber was marred by strange visions of gears, magic arrays and glowing runes all circling around and about each other in grand precision. She knew she'd never seen anything like it before, but none-the-less she knew what it was instantly. It was the solution to her every problem – the key to every riddle and mystery at hoof distilled into a single display of geometric perfection. “Yes, yes...” Twilight muttered to herself, “perfect – absolutely perfect...”

It would have been too, if not for that blasted pounding.

Twilight groped around for her pillow, only to notice that one, there were no pillows near her and two she didn't remember her bed being this firm or being made of cold crystal (save for the frame).

“You know, I think that's for you.”

Twilight's eyes shot open as she heard a voice she'd never heard before yet somehow recognized. She slowly lifted her head and looked around.

She appeared to be in what was supposed to be her dining hall. Not one to throw many parties, the room had until now seen pretty much no use outside of the one time Pinkie Pie had needed it after a party venue had been flooded with alfalfa courtesy of Discord. The room was now covered with a semi-uniform layer of tools, notepaper and machinery parts. The only clean spot seemed to be around where she had passed out on the table, and Twilight suspected this too was Discord's fault. Speaking of Discord...

The draconequus seated next to her just raised an eyebrow, “Problem, dear?” The draconequus sat on the edge of the table next to Twilight with serpentine elegance and a level of poise that Twilight didn't usually see outside of Celestia's court. An unkempt black mane poured down her – for Twilight had no doubt that she was looking at a she – back, terminating somewhere among the white fur that flowed around her neck like captured smoke. Crimson eyes glanced up from examining a claw to look down her long snout at Twilight before giving her a smirk, “See something you like?” The draconequus asked, a golden earing jingling softly as her ear twitched.

“...you're a girl.” Twilight said flatly.

“I am a lady,” the gender-flipped Discord corrected her simply, “I thought I'd try on something new,” another round of pounding echoed through the hall as 'Lady' Discord went back to examining her claw, “you should probably get that.”

Twilight stared at her for another moment before picking her way across the hall to the door and, after a few tugs, managing to tug it open.

“Hey, Twilight,” Spike said as the door opened without looking up from a scroll, “So Flash managed to find your... whatever it was and its- woah,” Spike cut himself off as he finally saw Twilight's face, “You alright?”

“I just woke up in the wrong room, my dining hall is a disaster and I have no idea what's going on,” Twilight replied, “What do you think?”

“Just woke up?” Spike replied, confused, “but you gave me and Flash orders an hour ago!”

Twilight blinked, “I did?”

“Among other things, my dear,” Discord replied as she sauntered up next to Twilight, “you've had the three of us running around as your minions all night.”

“Woah,” Spike said as he looked up at Discord with a mixture of surprise and a hint of the same sort of look he tended to give Rarity, “Who's she?”

Discord gave a polite nod, “You may call me Lady Eris,”

“Pick a name already, Discord,” Twilight grumbled as she brought a claw up to her face.

Spike looked between Twilight and Discord before staring at the latter, “You make a really good girl.”

“Why thank you Spike,” Discord replied with a small smile as she fluffed the fur around her neck, “a lady does enjoy being complimented.”

“I.. you...” Twilight gave up with a sigh as she started massaging her temples, “...nevermind. Where's Flash?”

“Downstairs, trying to keep track of your project,” Spike replied as he gave Discord another glance, “Do you, uh, need me to come with you?”

“I think I can manage,” Twilight replied a she squeezed past Spike and out the door, leaving the drake and the draconequus standing there.

A moment after Twilight vanished around a corner, Spike turned to Discord, “Okay – where are my gems?”

Discord smirked as she snapped her claws, a cloth bag appearing out of thin air and falling into the dragon's claws, “A lady keeps her word,” she purred.

Downstairs, Twilight was still massaging her forehead as she wrenched open the front door, “Flash Sentry.”

Flash jumped in surprise as the princess seemed to identify him without so much as looking, given her face was still buried in her own claw, “Y-Yes, Ma'am?”

“Is whatever I built far away?” Twilight asked, still not looking at him as she continued her attempt to fend off a headache. Her efforts seemed to be in vain, however, given the throbbing building behind her eyes.

“Unfortunately, Ma'am,” Flash Sentry stammered.

“Perfect,” Twilight said as she slammed the castle door shut behind her and started walking, “Let's go.”

The two started out from the castle and headed north-ward, the sun already starting to climb higher into the sky off to their right.

Twilight had no idea where exactly what she built was, or even what she built. All she knew for sure was that finding out was going to take her all day. She was going to make sure of that.

Back at the castle, Discord and Spike watched from one of the upper balconies as the pair shrank into the distance. “So,” Spike asked around a mouth-full of crushed gem, “you think that was too much?”

“My dear drake,” Discord replied, smirking as she sipped her tea, “I have just begun."

I Want You to Want Me

Twilight growled at nothing in particular as she stared at the contraption before her. Finding it had taken half a day; dragging it back and figuring out what it was for had taken the other half. As it turned out, she had at some point built a surveying device in her sleep two nights ago. She'd already retrieved a spool of paper from inside said device that turned out to have one of the most detailed maps of the northern route of Ponyville she'd ever seen drawn on it. Very useful – now if only she could figure out how she had built it.

“Problems, my dear?”

Twilight turned as she watched Discord float his way across the courtyard. She had returned from her impromptu expedition with Flash just before sundown to find a (still female) Discord and Spike discussing the best way for the young drake to approach Rarity. Twilight had headed downstairs just as they started discussing 'contingency plans', most of which seemed to involve Sweetie Belle.

All a night of working with the oversized contraption had convinced her of was that she hadn't built it in her workshop, so she'd dragged the contraption out to the courtyard where the calliope was still sitting. This had two purposes – one, it let her work on both at once. Two, it let her compare systems to figure out their operation.

She gave a snort as she went back to work, “What do you want, Discord?”

“Just thought I'd see how I could help,” Discord replied as he nudged part the calliope. He'd returned to his original gender at some point last night. Discord glanced at what Twilight was working on, “What’s that?”

Twilight stopped her work and considered the contraption for a moment before she answered the question. A large portion of its mass was made up of the large purple lift envelope Twilight found very familiar. Attached to it by a collection of cords was a multi-faceted metal assembly covered in pipes, crystal-work and – most notably – a trio of large lenses assemblies dominating one side, “I think it's my balloon...”

“Your balloon,” Discord cut in, continuing non-nonchalantly, “one of your fnord-meters, an aurascope, three cameras – one which came from Pinkie, by the way – and a pneumatic nutcracker.”

Discord gave Twilight an amused stare, and Twilight gave a sheepish smile. “I like really like nuts,” she blinked after a moment as she realized something, “wait – if you know what it is, why are you asking?”

“Oh, I know what you used to build it,” Discord replied, “I just don't know what it's for. I was hoping you could enlighten me.”

“Funny,” Twilight replied, “I was going to say the same thing,” Twilight managed to get back to her work for a whole ten seconds before Discord interrupted her with a bout of hysterical laughter. That might have been a castle record, “Yes?” she asked as levelly as she could manage, unable to control the twitching of her eyebrow.

“Oh, nothing,” Discord replied as he summoned what looked like Rarity's couch and fell back onto it, “but if I had known how much fun working with you was, I would have done it ages ago! So much chaos, and nopony blames me for it!”

“Well, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself,” Twilight grumbled as she pried open a side-panel, “have you seen Flash Sentry?”

Discord frowned at her before replying, “Last I saw him he was recovering in his room.”

“Could you get him for me?” Twilight asked as she reached into the machine up to her shoulder, “I need to talk to him about some things.”

Discord watched Twilight for a moment before turning and walking out with a grumbled “Fine...”

Noticing the different behavior, Twilight turned toward the draconequus, but he was already vanishing around the corner. Twilight frowned at the now empty doorway. That had been decidedly... un-Discord like. She pushed it to the back of her mind as she continued to poke at the two half-disassembled constructs. She recognized her own hoof – er, claw – work. She'd definitely built it, even if she didn't remember doing so. Which was annoying.

“You wanted to see me, my Princess?” Twilight looked up at the voice to see Flash Sentry standing at the edge of the courtyard.

“That was fast,” Twilight commented before turning back to her work, “you made good time.”

“Advantage of having wings,” Sentry replied, unfurling his wings briefly in demonstration before continuing, “though the bucket of water was uncalled for – I was already awake...”

“I'll let Discord know,” Twilight replied idly as she gestured for the pegasus to come closer as she turned back to the construct. “Now – about why I asked for you. I think I might have a theory about those read-outs from the balloon.” Before Flash Sentry could say anything, he found himself completely covered by one end of the massive print-out as Twilight scanned the other end. “We already knew that it was a map of the most reasonable route for the train line,” Twilight began before pointing to one the oddly colored patches covering the paper. “What I couldn't work out was these splotches were. Then I remembered that Discord had said that I had built my entropiscope into this. So, I wondered, what would a mapping system need a means to detect chaos for?”

After a moment of silence and pulling the paper off of his head to find Twilight staring at him with a slightly manic grin, Flash realized she was expecting him to say something. “Uh... mapping?”

“Exactly!” Twilight exclaimed as she pointed at a splotch on the map. “This system managed to chart the entire chaos magic distribution from Ponyville to Canterlot! In less than a day, and I built this in my sleep! With a box of scraps!”

“Okay...” Flash said after a moment, poking the map with one hoof. “So now what?”

Twilight sighed as she shuffled through the paper. She'd been spending too much time around Discord – she'd half-expected a one-liner. “Now,” she replied, “we get this thing airborne again and send it out to assess the rest of the route. Then we can start on my main project for the day - finishing the calliope!” Twilight pulled the spellcore out from... somewhere. “I need to finish it by tomorrow afternoon to have it working in time for the start of the festival – and if I want to have this and the map done in time, we've got no time to lose!” Before Flash Sentry could say anything in response, he found an assortment of parts and tools shoved into his hooves, “You saw me build this, right?”

“So did Discord, your highness,” Flash replied as he followed a step behind Twilight. “Couldn't he tell you?”

“Probably,” Twilight replied as she started laying out parts and tools, turning back to Flash and grabbing more tools once she finished with hers. “But he doesn't seem inclined to share today – besides, it's more fun this way!”

“Of course, your highness,” Flash replied, shuffling the parts between hooves as he balanced on three legs. “I don't mean to press, Princess Twilight, but-”

“The train route, of course,” Twilight replied as she started yanking parts out of the calliope and adding them to the balloon-device. “What sort of defensive systems were you considering?”

“Nothing active,” Flash Sentry replied with a shrug. “Just the same sort of spells and countermeasures they use along the Everfree stretch of Appoloosa line.”

“Of course,” Twilight mused as she considered the map. “Proven systems, requiring minimal upkeep – they're almost perfect. But... yes – I could modify the spells, improve their output, scale up their effects. Would open up some more routing options. Powering them would be an issue at that point though – arcane collectors wouldn't be an option... Wait! I could route power from the Crystal Heart! Install an accumulator on the train, have it charge the spells when it passes! That would require poking the Crystal Heart a little – Eh. I'm sure Cadence wouldn't mind if I-”

“Princess?”

Twilight snapped out of her thoughts with a jerk. “Huh? What? I'm sorry, I missed that.”

“I said that I'm not sure we have time for, uh,” - Flash rubbed the back of his leg with the opposite hoof - “that much development. Princess Cadence would prefer to begin on the rail line sooner rather than later.” He paused for a moment before quickly adding, “Your highness.”

Twilight sighed, “Of course, of course...” She slammed the panel on the side of the balloon shut before flipping a switch. After a moment, the balloon envelope began to re-inflate as Twilight tossed Flash a line. “Hold onto this.”

Flash fumbled with the line for a moment before getting it wrapped around one leg. “I thought you didn't know how it worked?”

“I don't,” Twilight replied as she watched in inflate, “but I managed to isolate its buoyancy system and, more importantly, I added some stuff.” She held up a small stone in one of her claws. “This scrying stone is linked to another one inside. It'll let me monitor the operation of the system while it works. I should have its operational design worked out by the time it gets back.”

“Oh,” Flash replied before glancing down at the line. “So why am I holding this?”

“Well, we can't have it flying the wrong way, now can we?” Twilight replied as she watched the balloon rise. “Let out a little more rope, please.” Flash Sentry let some of the rope slip off his leg, and the balloon floated further up into the air. “And... perfect!” Twilight snapped her claw, and the line spontaneously cut itself, the balloon floating upward another few meters before catching an air current and floating south. “Aha! I knew modeling the Everfree's extended weather patterns would be useful!”

“You mean you didn't know if it would work?” Flash asked in surprise.

“Nope!” Twilight replied as she turned back to her other project. “While we wait for that to come back, we can work on the Calliope.”

Flash watched the balloon float away before turning toward the princess. “So, how long is that going to-” He paused as he noticed that Twilight had, in the span of (at most) two seconds, dismantled perhaps forty percent of the calliope and was already digging through its interior. “...how did you do that?”

Twilight held up one claw, flexing one of the digits. “Opposable thumbs rule,” Twilight replied simply before setting back to work. “Can you hand me the new pressure vessel?”

Flash looked around briefly, but came up empty-hooved. “What pressure vessel?”

“It’s right-” Twilight paused as she extracted herself from the calliope, but frowned as she saw it was, in fact, not about. “...huh. Oh well, it was mostly redundant anyway.”

“How do you run a calliope without steam?” Flash asked as Twilight set back to work.

“You still use steam,” Twilight replied. “You just don't bother with an accumulator and pipe it straight through the system. Hand me that wrench.”

“That sounds...” Flash started as he obeyed, “...hideously dangerous, Princess.”

“It’s perfectly safe,” Twilight replied, before adding after a moment, “probably. Now stop asking questions and start helping!”

“Yes mistress,” Flash quickly replied as he moved closer.

With the help of Flash, Twilight quickly made excellent progress on the Silverodeon. In a matter of hours, what had once been a twisted mess of metal and ruined wood was now the beginnings of an instrument of obvious sophistication. The beginnings of an elaborate hoof-pedal system were already in place, and its wooden frame had already started to curve around where the keyboard would eventually rest.

Which was, structural location wise, the current problem was.

“All of these keys are mangled!” Twilight groaned as she considered a clawful of what was now good for little other than kindling.

“Couldn't you repair them, Princess?” Flash asked, “With magic?”

“Sadly, my chaos magic isn't quite up to that yet,” Twilight replied. Her progress had been decidedly idiosyncratic, “I might just make them explode a couple of times.”

Flash blinked at that before managing an “Oh.”

Twilight pulled herself onto her feet, dusting herself before she started walking out of the square. “So, I'll just have to find somebody who can fix them... probably.”

Flash quickly moved to follow her, “Can't you just make new ones?”

“No time,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “Now I just have to-” She was cut off as a low, bass THUMF echoed across the fairgrounds. Twilight was one of maybe three ponies... err, people... who could recognize it as the tell-tale sound of atmospheric equalization through a space-time rift. And there was only one being within a dozen leagues who could have possibly caused it. “...or we just go toward the rip in reality.”

After a short walk and the rift being replaced with another one three times over, she finally reached the origin point. As expected, she found Discord at the source of the reality warping. What she wasn't expecting was to see Spike there as well, and seeing both of them dressed for a game of golf.

“Nice shot,” Spike commented as he stared into the rift. “How far do you think that went?”

“Several thousand kilometers, at least,” Discord recovered from taking his golf swing.

Spike nodded appreciatively as he switched spots with the draconequus, “That’s got to be a record.”

“Indeed,” Discord said as he stepped to the side, leaning on his golf club as he watched the young drake line up his shot. “So – Nightmare Moon or Queen Chrysalis?”

“Nightmare Moon,” Spike replied as he took a slow practice swing. “Obviously.”

“Gotta go with Chryssy here,” Discord replied with a shake of his head.

Spike looked up from his preparations to point at Discord with his club, “She was a psychotic egotistical maniac.”

“She was,” Discord agreed, “but she also has legs that go all the way up to the Crystal Empire.”

“So does Shining Armor,” Spike replied as he went back to his swing. “Doesn't mean I want to date 'em.”

“What the Tartarus do you think you're doing?” Twilight exclaimed, causing both drake and draconequus to jump and – in Spike's case – mess up his shot.

Spike flailed in surprise for a moment before recollecting himself and turning to his boss-slash-adoptive sister. “In the middle of my backswing!?”

“Why hello there, Mi'lady,” Discord replied as he swept his beanie off with a flourish as he bowed. “We were just discussing our predilections regarding some of your more... interesting adversaries.”

Twilight rolled her eyes at the elaborate wording. “You mean who you'd prefer.”

Spike blanched. “I... we... uh...”

Twilight waved a claw dismissively as she continued. “I have to say I'm disappointed in you – in both of you, actually.”

“Twilight, I can-” Spike started to say in an attempt to defend himself, but Twilight again cut him off.

“Why not both?”

There was a moment of silence as the two gentlemen stared at the princess before...

FLOOF

Twilight and Spike both turned at the sound as Discord suddenly puffed out like a sudden bad mane day. Twilight ignored him after a moment as she turned her attention back to Spike. “I mean, if you can recruit one of them, why not recruit both of them?”

Spike gave Twilight a confused look as she began pulling the ruined piano keys out. “Uh... are we talking about the same thing?”

Twilight paused as she finished sorting out the parts and turned to Spike. “What were you talking about?”

“...I have to go now,” Spike quickly replied before picking up his club and dashing off as fast as he could.

Twilight watched the dragon go before turning to Discord, “...what's wrong with you?”

“Bwah,” Discord said by way of reply, his coat still fluffed out.

“Pull yourself together,” Twilight ordered as she flattened some of his coat. “I have work for you.”

“I… Uh...” Discord stammered as he got his appearance under control. “What?”

“I need you to fix these,” Twilight explained slowly as she held out the keys, “since I don't have time to find replacements...” she paused as she looked around. “...and where did Flash go?” She brought a claw up to her face as she let out a groan. “Celestia, I hope he didn't fly into one of your portals...”

“Oh, of course,” Discord drawled, “I can be left alone with the drake, but Mr. Orange disappears and suddenly you're worried.” The draconequus shrugged as he busied himself with examining his golf clubs, taking a bite out of one. “I'm sure he's just off doing... whatever he does. Wife-stealing.”

“I can, actually,” Twilight replied with a flat stare, “leave you alone. I mean – it's not like I have to worry about the Crazy around here causing you any damage,” Twilight glanced down a nearby street with a frown. “Spike’s at least used to it though. I think he's just in denial right now.”

“He'll adjust,” Discord shrugged. “Or have a psychotic episode. So – what did you want?”

“Need you fix these,” Twilight repeated as she showed him the pieces. “My magic isn't refined enough to manage it – matter manipulation is finicky.”

“Did you try entropic reversal?” Discord asked as he picked up one the pieces and started examining it with a jeweler's glass – that he was wearing backwards. “Of course you didn't – no time-reversal either. Really, My dear Twilight, you need to think outside of the box more.” He popped the jeweler glass into his mouth with a sigh. “I suppose I can help you this once though...” Discord lazily waved a claw over the pieces and in moments they began to flow back together, until a full set of restored piano keys were neatly stacked in Twilight's claws. “Now, I expect you to solve your own problems next time, you hear?”

Twilight replied by giving him a quick hug. “Thanks! Don't know what I'd do without you!” Twilight loped back off, unaware of the flustered demigod she was leaving in her wake.

A winded Flash Sentry turned the corner just in time to nearly crash into the princess. “Sorry-” huff, “-about the-” wheeze – just how long was he running around? Twilight thought – “-delay, Took a left turn at Albe-” another huff, and Twilight took the chance to interrupt him.

“It’s alright,” Twilight said as she breezed past him. “We've got the keys – back to work!”

The pegasus guard watched the purple draconequus walk past before giving a wordless nod and following after her, still wheezing.

Discord watched them leave before turning back to his golf clubs and temporal rifts. “I didn't want to talk to you anyhow – I have my own projects. With Blackjack. And Hookbills!” A loud squawk drew his attention toward his portal, through which a very large parrot was staring at him quizzically. “Oh, nobody asked you,” Discord snapped as he dismissed the portal with a sigh. “I wonder if I can get Chrysalis's hive on this...”

The next few hours were spent alternately flipping through coordinates of space-time and popping around town uninvited. All he had by the end of it as he took a lazy stroll back to the festival grounds was some cupcakes from Pinkie Pie and a wristwatch he was 'borrowing' from the mare with the candy on her flank.

It’s edge was glowing orange for some reason. It was probably important.

He had started pressing buttons at random, hoping to find the laser function when a sound brought him up short. Discord paused, listening carefully, before pulling out a brass horn and jamming it into his ear. Yup – it was music. A soft, melodic tune carried through the narrow alleys and canals, and Discord found himself floating along as he drifted toward its source. He managed that until the number of ponies under him grew dense enough that they started complaining about getting smacked in the head. With a grumble, he dropped back onto terra firma and peered over the crowd of ponies.

At the center of the crowd, left with a clearing of several paces all around, Twilight Sparkle sat at the keys of the now finished calliope. The orange rays of the setting sun tinted the contraption a dozen shades of blue, silver and bronze, an orange pegasus keeping an eye on the gauges as Twilight's claws danced across the keys.

Discord found his eyes sliding shut as the intricate tune was carried through the square, the symphony of notes something he hadn't thought possible to tease out of a single instrument.

The draconequus shook himself out of his acoustically-induced stupor before making his way over the crowd. Most of the ponies were too engrossed by the impromptu concert to notice Discord briefly borrowing their heads as stepping stones. He soon found his steps falling in time with the music, a steady rhythm of weaves and bobs synced to the unfamiliar song.

Twilight's piece suddenly picked up its tempo, and as Discord glanced up he caught the princess glancing back. She gave him a small smirk.

He grinned back.

The piece continued along at its new faster, jauntier pace as it drew the elder draconequus ever closer to the center, building to a crescendo as Discord closed the last few meters to the princess with a bound and a leap, the final note thrumming through the air as he came to a final landing at Twilight's side with a flourish and a bow.

“Done!” Twilight exclaimed as she pushed back from the keys, “An excellent test, if I-” the rest of her sentence was drowned out as the thundering applause of nearly a hundred ponies flooded over her. Twilight spun around, staring wide-eyed at the cheering crowd and a grinning Discord. “...when did they...”

“Probably when you started playing,” Discord replied with a shrug as he pulled out a bouquet of poison joke. “Flowers for the lady – how did you not see them?”

Twilight shrugged as she accepted the bouquet, “I was probably too busy watching you.” The purple former-pony princess was too busy admiring the floral arrangement to notice the rapid succession of expressions Discord's face rotated through, in a few cases literally. By the time she looked back up, his face was back to his usual half-bored smirk, “Thanks for the help, by the way – I'd never have gotten this finished in time without you.” Before Discord could reply, Twilight turned to her acting assistant. “Flash – how'd the readings look?”

“Never spiked above point-seven-eight-eight,” Flash replied with a salute.

“Excellent,” Twilight nodded before scanning the crowd with a frown. “Speaking of spikes – have you seen him?”

“Not since you barged into our golf game,” Discord replied with a shrug, “which I would have won, by the way! He's fine,” Discord paused before adding, “Probably.”

“I'm more worried about him spoiling his dinner,” Twilight replied. “Last thing I need is him using the royal treasury to buy himself some gems again.”

Discord was about to ask what, exactly, she met by 'again', when a familiar voice answered her first question, “I apologize for monopolizing the attention of your assistant, Twilight Sparkle – he informed me that he was quite unoccupied at the moment.”

On cue, the young drake emerged out from behind the just-arrived lunar diarch. “Hey Twi – look who dropped in!”

Twilight just gave him a knowing look. “You and I still need to have words about your golf game.”

Spike sighed. “Drat.”

“Golf, Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked as she raised an eyebrow. “It seems you have more free time then I was led to believe.”

“More like my assistant has been picking up bad habits from my research partner,” Twilight replied, shooting Discord a quick side-ways glance. Discord did his best to look as innocent as possible – the effect was somewhat spoiled when the halo floating over his head flickered out and fell out of the air. “So,” Twilight continued as she turned her attention back to Luna, “What brings you into town?”

“I was hoping to partake in your town's festivities,” Luna answered with a grin. “And decided that arriving ahead of time would be productive – a decision that has proven most fortuitous. A truly impressive musical performance!” Luna's expression shifted to something more thoughtful as she tapped a hoof against her chin, “However, since you mention your research, I would greatly enjoy learning about your progress so far.”

“Of course,” Twilight said with a nod. “Spike – do you have the lab reports from the last set of trials?”

“Not on me,” Spike replied with a shrug. “If we're going to be out this much, I really need a bag or something...”

“Allow me,” Discord replied with a snap of his claws. An instant later, a satchel bag hung itself around Spike, the sudden increase of weight on one side nearly toppling the young drake. “There you go – I even loaded the reports inside.”

“Much obliged,” Spike replied as he pulled open the bag, sorting through the papers before plucking out a scroll and offering it to the princess. “Our latest report, your Highness.”

“Thank you, Spike,” Luna gave him a polite nod, taking the scroll with her magic and unfurling it in front of herself as she started to scan it over. “Hmm... interesting. Such a shame more of the tree-”

“Shrubbery,” the two draconequi and the dragon corrected on reflex.

“...shrubbery,” Luna corrected herself, “didn't survive – such a fascinating sample lost. I see Discord has been useful in making up some of the loss though.”

“Oh, don't say it like that Lulu!” Discord replied as she looped an arm amicably around the blue alicorn. “You make it sound like me being useful is unusual.”

“The last time a princess asked for your aid, we all had our power stolen and you ended up in a cage,” Luna pointed out.

“And Twilight had the grudge match of the millennium with a centaur,” Discord replied, plucking one of the flowers from the bouquet and tucking it behind Twilight's ear. “She does have quite the flare for settling things with overwhelming fire-power.”

“Well,” Twilight said as a small grin appeared on her face. “As one of Spike's comics say; if you're leaving scorch marks-”

“-You need a bigger spell,” Discord finished for her.

Luna rolled her eyes as the two chuckled softly, “I do suppose assuming you could maintain a level of professional decorum was mistake on my part, but you could at least make an effort.”

“Pardon me?” Discord replied in mock-surprise as he turned to Luna, “I've been very professional, I'll have you know! I've done paperwork and everything.”

“Please,” Luna replied, sounding unconvinced. “You haven't been this blatant since you went after my sister.”

Both Twilight and Discord blinked at that, in a brief moment of surreal synchronicity, “What?” Was all Discord said after a minute.

Luna blinked owlishly, head tilting a little as she looked as Discord in confusion, “Surely you remember such events – they were among your first interactions with my sister, after all.”

“Well,” Discord replied with a huff, “All I know is my first run-in with your sister was her opening salvos against my reign of chaos. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I hear a cotton candy vendor.”

The two princesses watched the draconequus trotted off before hopping into the air and back-stroking over the crowd. Twilight watched him go for another moment before turning to Luna, “What was that about?”

“I do not know,” Luna replied, frowning as she continued to watch Discord vanish into the distance. “But it seems the Lord of Chaos still keeps some secrets from us...” Luna then turned to face Twilight. “I know for a fact that my sister’s first meeting with him was quite amicable – as expected with two pranksters of such a high caliber. That he doesn't remember such events is... troublesome.”

“But the other part you mentioned-” Twilight continued, “something about not acting like this since Celestia?”

“Oh, that,” Luna waved a hoof dismissively, “is but a trifling manner – Discord has shown this sort of behavior before, not long after he and my sister first met. That the subject matter this time is of a more academic nature leads me to believe that events will turn out better this time.”

Twilight was still lost. “What?”

“I have full faith in you, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said as she continued, giving Twilight what was probably supposed to be a reassuring smile, “I am certain that such blatant courting attempts will do little to disrupt your work.”

Now Twilight was really lost. “What.”

“Oh, my apologizes,” Luna quickly said. “I had assumed you were aware of the meaning of his actions. My sister never mentioned it?”

“Mentioned what!?” Twilight nearly shouted.

“The flowers,” Luna replied, gesturing at the bouquet Twilight still held. “Has Discord been giving them to you often?”

“Well, yes,” Twilight replied. “Why?”

“Discord has always shown a fondness for the plant,” Luna explained. “Unsurprising, given its properties,” she glanced at Twilight with a raised eyebrow. “Apparently, draconequui are immune to its effects?”

“We are...” Twilight replied hesitantly. “The first time he handed me one, I almost freaked out before I noticed the lack of effect. Ever since I mentioned liking how they smell, he's been giving them to me at every opportunity.”

“And tucking them behind your ear, like earlier...?” Luna asked, gesturing at the flower Twilight was still wearing.

“I didn't see any harm in it,” Twilight replied nervously, resisting the urge to fiddle with the aforementioned flower with one claw. “Why? Are they dangerous? Do you think Discord is trying to influence me in some way? Is it-”

“Nothing so sinister, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna replied reassuringly. “I have no doubt that Discord would have already moved if he had ulterior motives. There is probably no harm in his actions – I just found the parallels most interesting. He had given Celestia such gifts of poison joke as well, just after they had met.”

“So...” Twilight asked, “what do the flowers mean then?”

“Well,” Luna replied, shuffling somewhat nervously, “you must recall that this information comes from Discord and must be considered suspect, but by his own words such gifts of poison joke are a standard part of draconequus courtship rituals.”

Twilight just absorbed this tidbit of information for a couple of minutes before finally figuring out a response.

“What!?”

Surrender

It took Twilight a moment to realize that Luna was trying to say something to her.

“Huh?”

“I asked you if you were alright,” Luna repeated, looking at the fellow princess with concern, “Is something the matter?”

“Nothing,” And possibly everything, but Twilight didn't say the last part. “Just... Too much information.”

“Oh,” Luna raised an eyebrow at that, “on what?”

“Everything,” Twilight replied simply as she felt a headache coming on.

“We see,” Luna replied, nodding sagely before continuing, “If the pursuit of knowledge has left you feeling uneasy, then perhaps now is the best time to regale me with your recent exploits!”

“I...uh...sure?” Twilight replied hesitantly.

“Outstanding!” Luna exclaimed, nearly edging into 'Canterlot Voice' territory as she turned and gestured with a hoof across the crowd, “You may tell me as we pursue carnival fare!”

Twilight followed behind the blue alicorn in a daze, all but ignoring her surroundings as she tried to process what Luna had told her.

Discord had been flirting with her. For weeks. What was one supposed to say to that? Was it part of some sort of prank? But how would she prove that? Maybe she should give Discord flowers and see how he reacts? No, wait – if draconequui displayed behavioral dimorphism then her giving him flowers might be an insult! Wait – did she care? Would he care? Would-

“Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked, snapping the purple draconequus back to reality. “Are you alright?”

“Fine!” Twilight replied just a tad too quickly. “Absolutely fine! Why do you ask?”

“Because you've been fiddling with that feline plush toy for quite some time,” Luna replied. “And I do believe you are beginning to worry the shopkeeper.”

Twilight looked to her left to see a very nervous earth stallion looking between her and the white plush cat she had apparently been petting very aggressively. She gave the stallion a sheepish smile as she fished out a few bits, “Sorry,” she said to Luna as she squirreled away the newly-bought toy, “I'm just kinda... distracted.”

“Ah,” Luna replied casually as they continued through the maze of vendors. Despite the fact that the festival didn't start until tomorrow, it looked like quite a few ponies were looking at taking advantage of the “preview” crowd Twilight had pulled in.

“We do not blame you – your research with Discord is no doubt problematic.”

Right, Twilight thought, research. For some reason though, the latter half of the statement irked her. “What do you mean by that?”

“Just that Discord will be Discord,” Luna replied simply, “As reformed as he might be, I have little doubt his trickster tendencies remain. It is no doubt troublesome to work with such a being.”

“I thought,” Twilight replied, bristling as her confusion was for the moment displaced by something else, “you were on his side.”

“Do not mistake my notions for my sister’s,” Luna replied as the walked through the stalls. Twilight, though, was no longer noticing the wares on display, “I have no misgivings on your work with him. But he is still him, is he not?”

“He is,” Twilight replied, “And he has been amazingly helpful. And not just with my research. Having him around has been nothing but enjoyable.”

It was only after the words had left her lips that she realized just how true they were.

“I see...” Luna replied after a moment as she studied the cross-looking draconequus. “we can tell that you are taking this personally. We meant no disparagement of your judgment, Twilight Sparkle.”

"It’s not me you're insulting though,” Twilight replied with a sigh. “It’s him – did you know that the only reason I figured out how to beat Tirek was due to the notes he left in our journal?”

“The same journal he gave back to you before betraying all of Equestria?” Luna asked, the doubt in her voice just enough to be obvious.

“Say that again,” Twilight replied simply.

"What?” Luna said as they stopped near a stand selling some form of fried dough, “That Discord gave you the supposed key to Tirek's defeat just before switching-” Luna paused as something clicked. “No – He's not that clever.”

“You sure about that?” Twilight replied, eyebrow raised.

“With Discord?” Luna said with a sigh, “I am sure of nothing – something we should keep in mind more often, it seems. Forgive us,” The princess bowed her head to surprised Twilight. “Despite the grief we have given our sister, we had fallen into the same habit.”

“It's, uh, fine,” Twilight stammered quickly at the repentant demigoddess as her ire quickly vanished. “Just – stop doing that. It's weird.”

“Is it not appropriate for a pony to show their repentance?” Luna asked as she brought her gaze back to Twilight's.

“I blasted you with a magic rainbow beam and probably tore off part of your soul,” Twilight replied. “I think you've repented enough for a lifetime.”

“Or perhaps just a millennium or so,” Luna said back with a smirk as she turned. “Come then – We have spent enough time browsing the fine wares here – let us see this research!”

Still processing way, way too many new pieces of data, Twilight let Luna lead her to her own castle. She paid Luna's comments about Canterlot nobility, and Flash's attempts to get her attention, little mind until the older Alicorn suddenly came to a stop. “Twilight Sparkle?”

“Huh?” Twilight looked up and was surprised to find that they had at some point reached her castle. She chuckled nervously as the dark blue alicorn raised an eyebrow. “Heh, sorry – could you say that again?”

“I was asking if such sounds from inside your castle are normal,” Luna replied. Sure enough, a low and somewhat unsettling series of rumbles and crashes were coming from inside the giant crystal tree. “Also,” Luna continued as she nodded at something behind Twilight, “your pegasus seems to be trying to catch your attention.”

“Your highness,” Flash Sentry quickly started, “Discord has wandered off, the Mayor wanted me to pass on that nopony can figure out how to turn the Silverodeon back on and what do you want me to do with this plushie?”

“Uh...” Twilight said, “For the last – anywhere inside. I'll get back to you on the rest.”

Flash nodded and started toward the door. It took Twilight a moment to remember the other issue Luna had pointed out, “No! Wait a-”

But her words were too late – Flash Sentry pulled open the door, and a split second later was sent careening backward as a book bounced off his face with enough force to rebound back into the library. There was a brief moment of silence – from both inside and outside the castle – before a familiar voice from inside said “Oh – just orange boy. As you were,” And then the sounds of... whatever was happening returned.

Carefully, Twilight stepped over the groaning form of the pegasus guard and into her castle.

Books were flying back and forth across the room, whole stacks shifting themselves around her entry hall. It rather reminded her of the day the first shipment of books for the library had arrived. Propped up against one of the few walls that was supposed to have books was a ladder on top of which Discord was hanging off of as he rapidly worked his way through the rows of texts, scanning each one quickly before tossing it over his shoulder. “Seriously,” he muttered as he continued rummaging through books, “All I want is one history book. Is that so much to ask?”

“Hey, you were the one who turned everything topsy-turvy way-back-when,” Spike replied as he flipped through a book of his own before adding it to a stack with more care than Discord.

“What are you two doing?”

Both dragon and draconequus looked up in surprise, a dozen books dropping out of the air mid-levitation as their controller's attention suddenly shifted. “Okay, admit it,” Discord finally said, “This isn't the worst thing you've caught me doing.”

Twilight stared at him levelly, “That's not an answer,” she turned to her assistant, “Spike?”

“Well, it’s kinda funny actually...” Spike chuckled nervously before scooping up a stack of books, “Ibetterputthesebackseeyoulater!”

“Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!” Discord shouted at the fleeing dragon as Spike bolted up the stairs, presumably toward the main library.

“Discord,” Twilight said. She most certainly did not growl, since growling would be unbecoming of a princess.

“Twilight!” Discord said, fake grin plastered on his face as he spun back to face the purple draconequus. “I thought you were doing that thing with your sister-in-law's foal?”

Twilight blinked, “What foal?”

“Sorry, wrong season,” Discord pulled out a rolodex, flipping through it before stopping at a chard with a small 'aha!', and then tossing the rolodex away as he turned back to Twilight. “I thought you were doing that thing with your sister-in-law's train line?”

"Luna decided she wanted to see my research,” Twilight replied as she stepped closer, eying the stacks of books, “So... research project of yours?”

Discord blinked, “So... you aren't mad?”

“Oh, ponies are a very forgiving race,” Twilight replies with a serene smile.

“Oh,” Discord said as he relaxed, “Well, that's good...”

Twilight leaned closer, still smiling even as she came within a hair's breadth of Discord, leaving the draconequus looking at her slightly cross-eyed, “But I'm not a pony right now, am I?”

Discord hesitated before answering carefully, “...no?”

He didn't get a chance to say anything else as Twilight grabbed him and started shaking him like a rag doll. “I leave you alone for five minutes and not only do you trash my castle, you corrupt my assistant! What the hay do I have to do to get you to behave yourself!?”

“Perhaps if you stopped shaking him he may answer you,” Luna suggested.

“...oh,” Twilight replied, slowly letting go. Discord's head bounced back and forth for a few moments, his eyes bounding in counter-balance. His eyes finally bounded back into his head, spinning around until stopping one after the other with audible ‘clink, clink’ sounds before stopping. Twilight had just enough time to notice that his pupils had been replaced with cherries before gum started spewing from his ears.

“So,” Twilight said as the stream of candy tapered off, “explain, now.”

“Just some light reading,” Discord mumbled, eyes still spinning before he managed to collect himself and grin at Twilight as he rested a claw on one of the claws holding him by the scruff. “And here I thought you just wanted to get touchy with your books.”

Twilight's anger chose that moment to dissipate just long enough for her to remember her earlier discussion with Luna.

And now she was nose-to-nose with Discord.

Right.

Twilight quickly released Discord as she backed up a couple of paces. “You, uh... start cleaning up in here – I need to go talk to Spike.”

With that, Twilight calmly turned and headed up the stairs. She most certainly did not speed-walk up them to put more distance between herself and Discord. Nope. Not at all, “Spike?”

A door slowly cracked open before the young drake sheepishly stuck his head out. “O-Oh, hey Twilight – Everything okay?”

“Did you guys get into our research notes?” Twilight asked quickly.

“Uh...” Spike said, confused. “No – Discord seemed more interested in history stuff than-”

“You're with me,” Twilight ordered, quickly cutting him off as she continued down the hall. “Princess Luna? This way.”

Spike let out a sigh of relief at dodging any sort of punitive action as he fell into step next to the purple draconequus, Luna following a step or two behind as Twilight led them down the hall. And then another hall. And then down a flight of stairs. And another hall. After the second set of stairs, Princess Luna was starting to look unsure of her decision, “Twilight Sparkle, is there a reason your lab lies so deep within the castle?”

Twilight glanced back at the lunar demigoddess with a quirked eyebrow, “Not a single 'thee' or 'thou' – I'm kinda disappointed.”

Luna gave a small snort as the hall around them shifted into the darker crystal of the basement, “We have been here for quite some time, Twilight Sparkle – Our vernacular has had more than adequate time to update itself.”

“But that was part of your charm,” Twilight replied with a mock-pout, “It made you endearing.”

“Are you flirting with her!?” Both princesses jumped as a nearby sconce unwrapped itself from the wall and transfigured into Discord. “I mean, really? Have you no shame? I'm just upstairs, you know! I can still hear you.”

Twilight backpedalled a few steps at the sudden appearance of the draconequus. “I...what? I was joking...”

“Well, good,” Discord replied with a little huff as he stood a little straighter. “Your brother already took your family's 'scoring an alicorn' quota anyhow.”

“What are you talking about?” Twilight asked, her brain flat-out refusing to even try to deal with Discord at the moment – it still seemed to be preoccupied with the whole flower thing and oh Celestia she was still wearing one wasn't she?

“Well,” Discord said, slowly, “Is your brother a healthy male?”

Twilight blinked owlishly, “...Yes?”

“Have you seen your sister-in-law?” Discord asked as he leaned closer.

“Yes!” Twilight replied quickly as she backed up another step.

Discord nodded sagely as he crossed his arms and leaned back. “I rest my case.”

“Just go clean up the library!” Twilight managed to blurt out. “...please?”

“Well, since you asked nicely...” Discord said as he faded though the floor. A moment later, there was a thump from somewhere upstairs and Twilight let out a sigh of relief.

“Are you alright, Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked, leaning closer. “You seem unwell.”

“Yeah,” Spike said, nodding in agreement. “You usually deal with Discord a lot better than that.”

“I've just...” Twilight thought of the little nugget of information Luna had dropped on her, “...Just had a lot to think about.”

“Understandable,” Luna nodded sagely. “You have been through much in recent days. Now – let us see what you have uncovered!”

The rest of the walk to the lab was uneventful and without further interrupt. The lab itself was a windowless affair, tucked somewhere down among the tree-castle's root system. They'd operated out of a lovely upper-level workshop up until one of their experiments had blown out the windows and rocked the entire town – at three in the morning.

After a few hundred noise complaints, Twilight decided that better containment was prudent. Discord had wondered why a princess cared about noise complaints.

A small burst of magic unlocked the door and let the quartet – she kept forgetting Flash was with them – into the low-ceilinged room. Roots of the castle twisted and arched overhead in vaults, creating columns that would be nearly impossible for a pony to carve. The amount of equipment and furniture currently squeezed into the space made appreciating the columns difficult though. Tables were laden with notebooks, scrolls and various samples both crystalline and otherwise while the far wall was dominated by a mosaic of notes and diagrams all linked together in a spiderweb of yarn. “An interesting space,” Luna said as she gently nudged a crystal on the table where it sat in a brass stand. “But what does all of this have to do with your research?”

Twilight took a deep breath before launching into an overview of everything her and Discord had discovered so far. She had tried once or twice to explain to some of her friends but none of them had the right background to even understand the basic version she tried to give them. With Princess Luna, she finally had a chance to give a detailed explanation of their work.

Discussions of lines of probability and nascent 'string' theory gave way to comparative arcane field dynamics as she transitioned from explaining chaos magic to explaining their work into what happened in the forest. Luna nodded occasionally as she spoke, only interjecting to ask for context or clarification one a hoof-ful of points. Twilight hadn't even realized how long they had been talking until Spike gave her a nudge, drawing her attention to the tea tray he was carrying. Twilight couldn't help but smile – Spike's timing was as perfect as always.

“I think that about covers everything,” Twilight said as she carefully levitated a pair of cups from the tray and served herself and Luna tea. “Despite our best efforts, we can't replicate the behavior we saw in the forest – my magic always acts exactly like Discord's, and as far as our readings are concerned, they're fundamentally the same.”

“An intriguing enigma,” Luna said with a nod as she accepted the tea. “I imagine it has been quite a while since you had such a mystery to solve.”

Twilight nodded as she took a sip of her tea. “Not since your, uh... interesting return to Equestria.”

Luna chuckled at that. “I imagine not. Since I still have time, Perhaps we-” Her sentence was interrupted by a heavy thump above them. “Hrm – that sounded expensive.”

“It probably was,” Twilight said with sigh as she rose from her seat.

“Excuse me while I deal with... whatever Discord is doing.”

“Allow me to accompany you,” Luna said as she rose as well. “A chance to stretch my legs would be nice anyhow.”

The two headed back upstairs to the main library, and on entering Twilight noticed two things. One, the sun was already setting outside. And two, there was a bookfort in the middle of the room. “Discord,” Twilight said with a sigh as she brought a claw to her face. “You were supposed to put the books away...”

"Are you addressing me?” Discord asked as he stood up behind a barricade of thesauruses, “Because your authority is not recognized in” - He spread his arms wide - “Fort Kickass."
,
Twilight considered the fort and its builder for a moment before turning and walking away. “I'm going to bed.”
“A wise decision,” Luna said with a nod, ignoring the annoyed 'hey' from the draconequus. “I believe I shall depart as well – my sister would no doubt like to turn over things to me.”

“Of course,” Twilight replied before turning to the side. “Flash Sentry! Please see Princess Luna out the door.”

“Of course, Ma'am,” the orange pegasus gave a salute before turning to Luna and bowing,

“Please, this way your highness...” Twilight left the two to their own devices and headed upstairs, passing Spike on the way.

“So,” the young drake asked as Twilight walked past, “now what?”

“You make sure Discord actually cleans up,” Twilight replied as she continued toward her room, “Or at least doesn't cause more damage. I'm going to bed.”

“Long day, huh?” Spike asked.

Twilight thought back over her first conversation with Luna. The one about the flowers. “A very long day.”

Twilight didn't wait for any reply as she headed towards her room. One perk of having a giant magic tree for a castle, Twilight thought as she stepped into her room and dropped onto her over-sized four-poster, was the digs. She was fairly certain her bed was the second-most comfortable in town. Based on Rainbow Dash's sleep-patterns, she was forced to conclude that the trees in Sweet Apple Acres were the best beds on the planet. Still, she thought as she drifted off to sleep, this had to be a very close second.

Despite some very strange dreams involving chlorfiends and castles made of books, Twilight's sleep was thankfully uneventful.

At least, until she woke up.

Her first sign that something was up should have been when she noticed that her bed was warm. Not too hot, not too cold – but right in that perfect sweet spot that made one want to spend all day in bed with a nice book.

What did catch her attention was that whatever was warm was also pleasantly warm. Curiosity quickly won out over the desire to just draw closer and sleep some more and she opened her eyes.

It was around that moment that Discord let out a snore that could have doubled as a fog horn as Twilight stared at him.

Okay, she thought, so Discord is in my bed – again. And very, very close to her. Not the first time this had happened. Except before she hadn't had the insight from Luna that she had now.

So, uh... oh boy. Twilight felt herself stiffen as Discord rolled over, almost snout-to-snout with her. The most annoying part about this, Twilight realized, is that Discord was just doing it to mess with her more likely than... hrm.

Twilight felt herself relax a little as the seed of an idea formed. If Discord wanted to mess with her, fine. But turnabout is fair play.

Twilight took a deep breath before pulling herself closer as nestled herself against his chest with his chin resting just on top of her head. She couldn’t resist the content sigh that slipped from her - Chaos lord or not, Twilight thought as she felt herself drifting back to sleep, Discord made a really comfortable pillow.

Above her, Discord gave a snort, stirring slightly before she felt him tense. “Uh...Twilight?”

“Hrm?” Twilight murmured back as nestled closer.

Twilight swore she could hear him blushing as he stammered, “W-What are you doing?”

“Warm,” Twilight said by way of response, nuzzling against his chest for good measure, “Nice.”

“I...uh...Nope.” Discord managed before popping out of existence and reappearing next to the bed, “Twilight, dear, are you feeling alright?”

“I'm fine,” Twilight replied sleepily, pulling a blanket around her before giving him a sleepy smile. “Why don't you come back to bed – it's cold by myself.”

“By...you...” Discord stammered before suddenly shouting, “Smoke bomb!” and dashing out of the room.

“That only works if you actually have a smoke bomb, you know!” Twilight shouted after him before flopping back onto the bed with a giggle. “I can see why he does it – that was fun!”

A short while later, a fully awake and properly groomed Twilight headed downstairs for breakfast, half expecting to find her library converted into a ball pit or something. What she found instead was, well, perfection.

The one problem she'd always had with her new home was that, while pretty, vast swaths of blue crystal were not what she would call “homey”. Her friends had done an exemplary job of alleviating such issues in the map room, and a few other rooms had followed suit, but she just didn't have time to redecorate everything.

The library, though, had apparently missed that memo. Plush wingback chairs in shades of reds and blues and purples were spread around along with couches and tables, creating cozy little nooks to curl up with a book. Underhoof, rugs in warm, earthy tones criss-crossed the room.

Each nook had its own rug, and more were laid between them. Overhead and scattered around, crystals and candles lit everything with a warmer glow than the castle's usual cold luminescence.

Twilight slowly walked through the room as she took it all in, running a claw gently over a table stacked with a few books. The room didn't feel like somepony had just redecorated – it felt lived in, broken in.

It felt like home.

“Like it?”

Twilight turned around at the voice to see Spike staring at her from the doorway across the room, “I love it – who...”

“Discord,” Spike replied with a shrug, “Apparently, he took your order to clean the place up very seriously – also, coffee's almost done brewing.”

Contemplation of her resident headache's amazing taste in decoration was momentarily forgotten at the promise of the elixir vitae.

Said thoughts returned a short moment later as she stepped into the kitchen and spotted Discord at her table. The Draconequus sheepishly watched her over the rim of his teacup as she poured herself a mug of lovely, sanity-preserving coffee and took a seat at the table. She took a long sip of her coffee, letting out a content sigh before saying, “Spike – what's on the schedule today?”

“Finishing that initial report for Cadence,” Spike replied between bites of gemstones and cereal, “Also – Luna's in town again; wants to know if she could come over to help with your research.”

“Her exact phrasing,” Discord said as he cut in, “was that she 'wished to be present as you unraveled the mysteries of the arcane and pierced the veil of the cosmos'.”

“Please send word to Princess Luna that she is more than welcome to help with my research,” Twilight said, pointedly ignoring Discord. “And I should be able to send the report out with Flash Sentry by this evening – where is he, anyway?”

Her question was answered as the orange pegasus dashed through the kitchen, a quartet of toothy airborne books in pursuit, “This is not what I had in mind when I asked for an exciting book!”

“It builds character!” Discord shouted after him. He turned to Twilight as he noticed the frown she was aiming at him, “What? I'm not a trained librarian. It's not my fault he asked me for a book.”

Twilight's frown slowly morphed into a smirk as she leaned across the table, her serpentine form stretching out across the table in an eye-catching curve as she drew close to Discord, “Well, we could always go back to my room for some... personal training if you want...”

Discord froze before his coat suddenly fluffed out, “...bwah?”

“Very eloquent,” Twilight replied sarcastically, her smirk vanishing as she snapped her fingers. A small 'pop' echoed from down the hall, followed by a relieved ‘thank you’ from Flash Sentry. “Now,” Twilight continued as she drew herself back into her seat and returned to her coffee, “while we're on the topic of the library – what caused that thump last evening?”

“A bookcase,” Discord replied absently, “But you... just now... you were... you were all...”

“You were like a scene from one of Rarity's romance novels,” Spike finished for him, before pointing his spoon at Discord, “Your face was hilarious, by the way.”

Twilight felt herself smirking again, “It really was.”

Discord quickly began straightening himself out as he glared at Twilight, “This is payback for this morning, isn't it?”

Twilight's smirk grew a little wider, “Maybe.”

“Gah – I liked you better when you were adorkable,” Discord complained. “What happened to the proper lady I knew?!”

“She met you. That's what happened.” Twilight replied simply as she finished her coffee and rose from her seat, “Spike, please send Flash to meet me in the main study when you see him; I'm going to-”

“Nope.”

Twilight and Spike both turned to Discord at his sudden statement, “What?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I said 'Nope',” Discord repeated. “I am invoking the power of veto – you lost a bet, as I recall, and I'm cashing in today.”

Twilight blinked owlishly for a moment before bringing a claw to her face with a groan. She'd completely forgotten about that, what with Luna telling her... what with everything that had been going on. “Okay, then – what am I doing today?”

Discord drew himself up to his full height, and Twilight noticed that he was... impressively tall when he wasn't slouching. He actually looked... “Twilight Sparkle,” Discord said dramatically, cutting off Twilight's train of thought, “I hereby declare that thou shall spend the entirety of the next twenty-four hours with me.”

Twilight fought the urge to swallow nervously as she tried to keep her expression neutral.

“Wait a minute,” Spike said, cutting in and drawing Discord attentions away from Twilight – much to her relief. “Didn't you have the autobiography stuff to work on today?”

“Research can wait,” Discord replied, jabbing a finger at Twilight. “Some draconequus needs to be punished.”

Faced with a uppity Discord, Twilight resorted to her strategy from earlier in the morning. “Oh,” she said with another smirk, “I'm sure we can come up with a punishment both of us will be more than satisfied with.”

Discord blinked for a moment, but then just grinned back as he leaned closer, “Oh, my dear – I promise you this will be a day to remember.”

Twilight's grin faltered when faced with the relaxed self-assurance of the lord of chaos. She managed to get her surprise under control after a moment and frowned, “This is punishment for this morning, isn't it?”

Discord's grin just widened, “Maybe.”

“You're paying for everything,” Twilight stated flatly. Not that she figured Discord cared about money, but blatant robbery would have been something she could work with.

“Well then it's a good thing I've been trading in Fluttershy memorabilia,” Discord replied with a shrug.

Now Twilight was really confused. “Trading in what now?”

Discord leaned back, holding a hand out for a familiar magazine to materialize in it, “Despite her brief fame, my dear Fluttershy retains quite the fan base. They'll buy anything that's connected to her – pictures, knickknacks, bunnies...”

“You sold Angel to somepony?” Twilight asked incredulously.

“No, I sold him to several someponies,” Discord corrected her, “Little blighter kept coming back. Surprised?”

“Only that you got somepony to buy him,” Twilight replied with a shrug. That white little fuzzball was a regular pain in quite a few flanks; if anypony other then Fluttershy cared for him, she imagined he'd be on the moon. “So,” Twilight continued, eyebrow raised, “No funny business?”

Discord's face comforted into a painful expression. “I'm hurt,” he gasped, swooning back as he clutched at his chest, “Can a draconequus not coerce a friend into some quality time together?”

“If that was supposed to make it sound better,” Twilight said as she started out of the kitchen again, “It's not working. But fine – give me a few minutes to set everything in order and then we can-”

She was cut off as Discord bounded across the room, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her along, “Spike!” he shouted back as he guided them rapidly down the hall, “Take a memo – Library is all yours for the next twenty-four hours. Feel free to tell everybody where we are. Loudly. Get Luna to use her Royal Canterlot Voice.”

Twilight finally managed to yank the draconequus to a stop, giving him a short glare before turning back to her number one assistant. “Spike?”

“I'll get the report collated by the end of the day,” Spike said as he gave her a jaunty little salute, “Go have fun – you haven't been getting out much anyway.”

“Also,” Discord replied, “you finish that project for me and there's a gemstone the size of my head in it for you.”

Twilight didn't have time to belay the offer before the young Drake gave a woop and charged off toward the library, nearly bowling over Flash Sentry in the process, “What the-” the pegasus guard managed as he sidestepped the dragon before turning to Twilight, “Everything alright ma'am? I heard shouting.”

“Nothing major,” Discord replied with a smirk, “Just taking her royal adorkableness out for a day on the town. Now, if you'll excuse us-”

And with that, the pair vanished in a puff of confetti and cherry blossoms, leaving Flash Sentry standing alone in the hallway.

“...What?”

Carnival Games

“Nothing for kings, nothing for crowns! Send in the lovers, liars and-”

“It's not even noon yet.”

“Tragedy tomorrow, Comedy-” Discord paused at Twilight's interrupt before dropping his arms with a sigh, “See? Now you ruined it.”

Twilight rolled her eyes at the serpent's antics as she looked around the fairgrounds. The festival was now well and truly in full-swing, and just based on the accents she could here there were ponies from as far away as Trottingham. She was actually kind of impressed; the Mayor had gone all-out on the promotion, “Sing later,” Twilight said to the fellow draconequus as she watched the crowd. Was that pegasus hauling books? He was! “What are we doing now?”

Discord shrugged, “No idea – figured we could just go with the flow. Why, you want to do something?”

“Go back to the castle and work?” Twilight replied.

“Not an option,” Discord said as he snaked over to a cotton candy stand. It only took him a moment to obtain a large blob of the fluffy pink candy, which he proceeded to wring out into his mouth. Twilight was sure there were better ways to get chocolate milk, “So,” Discord continued as he wiped his mouth, “Next?”

Twilight sighed as she pointed after the pegasus she'd seen, “Yes – I would like to buy that.”

Discord glanced in the direction she was pointing, before turning back to Twilight, “What – all of it?”

Twilight shrugged as she started after the pony, “Maybe – come on,” the younger draconequus led the way toward the pegasus and his load of sweet, sweet, literature, “pardon me!” Twilight called out as she got closer, “Would you happen to be selling?”

The pegasus glanced at her before doing a double-take, “Fly me to the moon – Princess Twlight! I apologize for not seeing you sooner,” he landed just in front of her, double-checking his straps before turning back to her, “As for your question – finest collection of antique literature from Canterlot and Manehattan,” He nodded at the load of books behind him, “All for sale to a discerning eye.”

“Antique is an understatement,” The pegasus blinked in surprise as Twilight suddenly stopped being in front of him and started being somewhere behind him, examining the tomes, “Some of these look positively ancient.”

“And still nothing good about me,” A small Discord grumbled as he wormed between the volumes, “A pity.”

Twilight frowned at him before pointing at a spot next to her, “Out, now.”

Discord grumbled but complied, dusting himself off before raising an eyebrow at the pegasus, “What? Do I have a vowel in my teeth?”

“Uh...no?” the pegasus replied, giving his head a quick shake before turning to Twilight, “This might be a strange question, ma'am but... are you a god?”

Twilight blinked owlishly, “Well... no. Why-”

Before she could get any further, she felt a paw wrap around her shoulders and pull her to one side, “Twilight,” Discord hissed at her in a rather poor attempt at a whisper, “When somepony asks if you're a god, you say yes!”

Twilight just gave him a flat stare before pushing him away and turning to the pegasus, “I'm not, but why do you ask?”

“Oh, it's nothing,” the pegasus replied dismissively, “Just and idea a friend of mine had – so, care to buy some books?” Twilight's grin widened, and suddenly the pegasus found himself very, very worried.

Sometime later, and Twilight was happily trotting along next to Discord, new book in hand and several dozen more floating along behind her like literary ducks in a row. “Twilight,” Discord said with a sigh, “Put the book down,”

“You're not my supervisor,” Twilight replied without lifting her face from her book.

“You're going to walk into something,” Discord pointed out.

“I know what I'm-” Twilight's reply was cut off as she walked face-first into a wall, “Ow!”

“Told ya',” Discord was already starting to giggle and making only the slightest effort to hide it, “And you keep telling me reading is healthy.”

“Shut up,” Twilight glowered at him as she rubbed at her bruised nose, “What did I even run into...?” The pair looked up at the stone wall. From nearby, the sound of clinking glass, bells, and a dozen other sounds echoed, “An arcade?”

“Oh!” Discord started hopping up and down, clapping happily as he stared at Twilight with big, puppy-dog eyes. Twilight was worried about where he got them, “Can we go inside? Canwecanwecanwe?”

Twilight was about to say no, but Discord's face looked so earnest that she couldn't do it. “...Fine,” She said with sigh. It was a festival anyhow, so she might as well have try and have some fun.

“Yes!” Discord cheered, a burst of confetti bursting out from behind him.

“But you have to behave!” Twilight warned him as they started around to the front, “Ponies get mad if you start cheating. So no magic.”

“No problem,” Discord said with a nod as they rounded the corner. The front of the arcade was a series of archways, through which was a larger covered square that was probably supposed to be a market of some sort. Instead of peddler stalls though were a wide variety of carnival games – ring tosses, target galleries, claw games, and whatever they called that thing with the oversized hammer and a bell at the top of a chart.

“That includes chaos magic,” Twilight added, taking a shot in the dark. Her guess proved right, as Discord slumped and turned to pout at her.

“Oh, you're no fun,” he whined, but Twilight was unfazed by the look.

“Neither is cheating,” Twilight replied as she tossed Discord a pouch of bits, “And try not to bring the place down? You put a lot of time into building this place,” she paused before adding, “Also – its occupied.”

“Fine,” Discord replied as he grabbed Twilight and led her further into the arcade, “Well then – let's win you something ridiculous and fluffy! Allons-y!”

“Alon-whaaaa!” Twilight gave startled cry as Discord pulled her deeper into the arcade, weaving around ponies and games until everything was a blur of shadows and color that drove her to squeeze her eyes shot to make sure she didn’t regurgitate her breakfast. Or bubbles – she hadn't done much research into draconequi nausea reflexes yet. Maybe she should strap Discord to a centrifuge. That sounded like a wonderful idea. Except Fluttershy might be upset. Or Discord might enjoy it. Or-

“Twilight,” Discord's voice interrupted, “You can open your eyes now.”

Twilight slowly cracked her eyes open, and found herself staring back toward the front of the arcade. She must have gotten turned around, “Why the-” Twilight began to ask she she quickly glanced around.

And found herself nose-to-nose with a very fluffy pink pony, “Pfft.”

“Gah!” Twilight recoiled in surprise as a familiar cackle filled the air. It took Twilight a moment to realize that the intruder into her personal space was a large plush toy being wielded by Discord.

“Oh,” Discord said with mock sadness, “You don't like your new friend?”

Twilight frowned at her fellow draconequus, “Where did you get that?”

Discord shrugged and pointed at a nearby claw machine of ridiculous proportion. Twilight would have bet good bits a filly could crawl inside via the prize chute, “I won it.”

Twilight blinked, “I looked away for maybe three seconds.”

“I'm really good at games,” Discord replied with his usual roguish grin. It was the sort of grin that he tended to wear all the time. The sort of grin that made Twilight want to either put a stop to whatever he was doing or just join in. In retrospect, the latter option had become increasingly more attractive in recent days.

That still left her with an obviously scheming draconequus to deal with at the moment though, “I'm sure you are,” Twilight replied as she rose from the floor and dusted herself off, “I suppose I should give it a try.”

Discord stepped to the side and gestured toward the oversized machine, “Of course – if you're worried about losing, there are some easier ones-”

“I'll be fine,” Twilight replied somewhat more heatedly then she meant to as she stepped forward, “It's just physics, right?”

“Of course, of course,” Discord replied with a grin as he leaned against a nearby column and made himself comfortable.

Twilight spared him one final glance before turning her attention back to the claw game and slipping a coin into the slot. How hard could it be?

The machine rumbled to life as it accepted the bit and claw mechanism came to life. Taking hold of the control stick before her, Twilight gave it a few experimental taps to confirm the method of operation. She moved the stick left – the claw moved left. She pushed it forward – the claw moved away from her. Foals play. Now all she needed was-

The machine shuttered softly before the claw returned to it starting corner of its own volition. “Aw,” Discord said from behind her, “Too slow. Gotta go fast!”

“You didn't say there was a time limit,” Twilight groused as she pulled out another bit and fed it to the machine. It soon rumbled to life again and she wasted no time in getting the claw moving. She took only a moment to identify her target – a Starswirl the Bearded plushie, complete with his belled hat. She had to have it. And with the claw in position above it, it was as good as hers.

She pressed the button on the control stick, and smiled as the claw descended, talons spread and waiting. Piece of-

The claw snapped shut and the doll slipped free, leaving the claw empty as it returned to its corner. “...What.”

“That happens, you know,” Discord chimed in uselessly. She couldn't see it, but she was sure he had shrugged, “It's all about angles, you see...”

“You, of all people, do not get to lecture me about angles,” Twilight muttered as she fed the machine another coin, “You don't even pay attention to them most of the time.”

“You make one four-hundred and twenty degree triangle and they never let you forget about it,” Discord complained, throwing his hands in the air before catching them as a very confused carrot-dog vendor stopped and stared, “So, are you going to be much longer?” he asked as he bought a dog off the still confounded vendor, “There's a stage-show I wanted to check out sometime this millennium.”

“Aren't guys supposed to indulge girls on dates, traditionally?” Twilight shot back a she fiddled with the joystick.

“Since when have I been traditional?” Discord replied with a shrug, “That level of consistency is – hello there, and you are...?”

Twilight ignored Discord as she she focused on retrieving the Starswirl doll. What she heard next made that sort of impossible though.

“Hail the goddess!”

Twilight paused before she looked up from the machine and turned around.

She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but a half-dozen ponies in robes wasn't it. They seemed to be an equal mix of mares and stallions, and their tribal distribution seemed pretty even as well. Presented with such a sight, Twilight responded with the poise one expected of a princess and personal student of Celestia herself, “Huh?”

“Greetings, oh wise goddess,” The lead pony – an earth stallion in a purple robe – said as he bowed, “I am Grey Hill, Overseer of the cult of Discord.”

Twilight resisted the urge to shudder. Discord resisted the urge to chuckle, “Wait,” Twilight said instead of panicking like she wanted – best to confirm her fears first, “You made a religion that worships...” she pointed at her fellow draconequus, “...him?”

Hill and his fellow cloaked compatriots chuckled, “Of course not – we follow your word, not his.”

“But you named it after me!” Discord said in nearly a whine, “Why would you do that?!”

“She is your boss, no?” Hill replied, and Twilight chuckled at that, “It seemed prudent to name our order after her first follower and our inspiration.”

“I find that highly-” Twilight started, but Hill apparently wasn't finished.

“Of course,” Hill continued, “As our Pope, the words of Discord carry much weight so long as you do not contradict them,” Twilight sputtered at that as Discord cackled madly. Behind them, the machine shuttered as its game timer ran down to a stop.

“I know I said I was going to make you famous,” Discord said as he leaned toward Twilight, still smirking as he kept his eyes on the congregation, “but this is a bit much even for me.”

“You accidentally started a religion!” Twilight hissed back, “I didn't even know you could do that!”

“I know!” Discord replied in glee, “Isn't it great?”

“No!” Twilight shot back, keeping her voice low, “No it is not!”

“I beg to differ,” and then, before Twilight could stop him, Discord turned to the gaggle of his – ugh, Twilight couldn't believe she was saying this – followers, “Attention my little ponies!” he announced grandly, “I shall now bestow upon you five pearls of wisdom!” the group gave a small cheer before he continued, “One – There is no goddess but your goddess!” A collection of agreeable murmurs and approving nods replied, “Two – A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.”

A hoof rose out of the crowd, “What's the-”

“Ask later!” Discord quickly cut them off before continuing, “Four... no, wait, three - A Discordian is required during his early illumination to go off alone & partake joyously of a carrot dog on a Friday. Four - A Discordian shall partake of no carrot dog buns.”

Another hoof, “But-”

“What did I just say!?” Discord cut them off again, “And finally, five – A Discordian is prohibited from believing what he reads.”

“But...” Twilight began before she paused and frowned, “Hrm... that would mean, but then...which would mean...”

“Princess?” Twilight jolted at the words, looking up to see a group of ponies and one draconequus staring at her, the closest pony being the one that had apparently spoken, “Is something he said wrong?”

Twilight debated what to say for a moment before sighing, “Not really – but fully consider what each of those mean, okay?”

“Of course, oh wise goddess!” the pony replied with a polite bow, “Thank you for your time and wise words; we shall leave you to return to your own business.”

And as suddenly as they had arrived, the half-dozen ponies headed off, leaving a very confused Twilight and very amused Discord behind, “I'm surprised you didn't veto that last one, to be honest.”

“Well, as much as it pains me to admit it,” Twilight replied absently as she stared out after the departing ponies, “It's not bad advice – ponies should come to their own conclusions and not just blindly trust another's words.”

Discord blinked at that, “...huh. I hadn't thought of that.”

It was a moment after Discord said it that Twilight actually processed his statement, “Wait,” she said leerily, “Then why did you say it?”

“To troll you, of course,” Discord replied with a shrug, “Having an official tenant of your 'religion' being 'thou shalt not trust books' seemed like a hilarious idea.”

Twilight just stared at Discord until a small snort escaped her. And then another. A small chuckle managed to squeak its way out next and then it snowballed from there. In short order Twilight Sparkle found herself laughing loud enough to attract the attention of nearby ponies. She didn't care at the moment – the sheer absurdity of the situation was too much. “You,” Twilight managed between bouts of laughter, “And only you could manage to accidentally dispense sound philosophical advice as part of a joke,” She found herself leaning against Discord as she kept laughing, “Oh, oh sweet Celestia, I can't breathe...”

Discord just looked down at the draconequus leaning against him and smirked, “Well, I'm glad you find it funny...”

“And highly unsettling,” Twilight replied as she finally started to catch her breath, but otherwise not moving, “Stars and stones, I shouldn't have found that so funny.”

“Well, you've had quite a week,” Discord replied, adjusting the arm he had around her as he nodded toward the machine, “So – still want that Starswirl doll?”

Twilight gave a groan of frustration as she turned her gaze back toward the machine, “That thing is rigged, I swear to Celestia.”

“Of course it is,” Discord replied as he led her toward the machine, “But if you don't play, then you'll never win, right?”

“I'm not sure that's a thing,” Twilight replied as they reach the claw machine.

“Well,” Discord said as he pulled out a bit and fed it to the machine, bringing it to life once again, “It is now. So,” Discord reached down, finding Twilight claw and gently guiding up until it rested on the control stick, his feline paw resting on top, “Let's get you that doll.”

Carefully, Discord guided Twilight's claw through the motions, the claw sliding along its little gantry as Discord whispers comments and advice into her ear, “Nice and easy... see? It's all in the wrist. Just a little to the left...” Twilight let his words roll over her as she concentrated on manipulating the little steel claw. Every ounce of focus she could muster – a not inconsiderable amount, if she could say so herself – was aimed at the small amalgam of metal and gears hanging from the top of the cabinet, her limbs putting Discord's suggestions into action without any hesitation, “Right...” Discord whispered into her ear as she slowly lifted his paw from her claw, “...now!”

Twilight depressed the single button atop the control stick, and an instant later the claw dropped as its gantry came to a stop with a metallic whine. The claw dropped down, talons spread wide, and landed atop Starswirl's head. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears as the claws snapped shut, locking around the doll's head and shoulders before lifting it skyward with painful slowness before it started heading back to its corner. Almost... almost... almost...

The machine gave a soft clunk as the claw mechanism returned to its corner before the talons snapped open with a 'kink', dropping Starswirl into the prize shoot.

“Yes!” Twilight exclaimed loudly as she hopped up and down excitedly, arms wrapping around Discord, “Yes, yes, yes, yes!”

“Ponies are staring, you know,” Discord replied after a few more moments of the purple draconequus's celebrations. Twilight stopping hopping briefly, looking and Discord in confusion before glancing around. She gave a little 'eep' as she noticed that quite a few ponies were staring at them now, “T-Twilight, can't breathe...”

That drew Twilight's attention of the crowd and back to a Discord that was turning blue, “Ah! Sorry, sorry!” Twilight quickly relaxed her grip on the other Draconequus, who proceeded to re-inflate, I...” Twilight paused, “...Wait. Do you even need to breathe?”

“When it suites me,” Discord replied with a shrug, “And it suited me then, but as I was going to say... probably,” Discord proceeded to reach behind his back before pulling out the Starswirl doll, “Your prize, mi'lady.”

“Thank you,” Twilight said as she accepted the doll, “I couldn't have done it without you.”

“Again with the thanking!” Discord waved a claw dismissively, “You're a smart cookie – you'd have figured it out eventually,” Discord paused, tapping at his chin before adding, “Or had a bout of temporary insanity... again.”

“That was only the one time!” Twilight replied with a huff, “You fret about a deadline one time...”

“Oh, don't look so glum,” Discord replied as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close before he started leading them both from the arcade, “Although, you do look kinda cute pouting like that. Sorta reminds me of Sun-butt when I steal her cake. Or her cutie mark.”

“I am not comfortable talking about my teachers posterior,” Twilight said with a sigh as she let Discord lead her along, “where are we even going?”

“Your own personal paradise,” Discord replied as he brought them to a stop in front of a pile of books that were neatly stacked near a wall, “Also known as that pile of books you had bought earlier. I hadn't even noticed you moved them – very impressive application of chaos magic, that was. The whole 'when nopony's looking' thing is really hard to nail down. Well done.”

“I...um...” Twilight stammered as she stared at the books, “...I did that? When?”

“No idea!” Discord replied exuberantly, “That's the beauty of it,” He turned back to the books, “So... how're you getting them back to the castle?”

Twilight thought about it a moment before suggesting, “Get Flash to move them?”

“Potentially entertaining, but obvious,” Discord replied with a shake of his head, “Why not just teleport them?”

“...huh,” Twilight said after a moment, “But some of them might be warded...”

“Then you get Flash Gourd to move them,” Discord quickly replied, “Or you think outside the constrained spatial geometric tensors.”

Twilight looked at him owlishly for a moment before her expression brightened, “Ah!” Before turning to the stack of books and snapped her claw. The books shimmered like they were caught in a mirage before suddenly vanishing, “Good idea Discord.”

“I know, right?” He replied with a smirk before, adding more sedately, “Out of curiosity, what was my idea?” Twilight replied by just pulling a quill and scrap of paper from somewhere and jotting down some notes before tossing it to Discord. Discord grabbed the paper and read over it as Twilight walked past, “Huh,” Discord said idly, still looking at the note as he followed behind her, “It never occurred to me to think of space as the thing that was moving.”

“So, you hungry?” Twilight asked idly as she walked through the space formerly occupied by a small library's worth of books, “Because I am starving right now. I wonder if they still have those little gingerbread cookies shaped like trilobites...”

Discord blinked, following behind the other draconequus in a state he wasn't used to – being utterly, completely, lost.

It was kinda tingly. Tasted like coconut, “Well,” Discord managed after a moment as he trotted to catch up, “as long as it's not cupcakes – who knows what they put in those things.”

“Oh no,” Twilight shot back with a glare, “Don't you dare. Don't even think about it – you are not ruining cupcakes for me.”

“Well, fine,” Discord replied with feigned annoyance as they walked along, “I'll just have to find something else to ruin – hmm....” he tapped at his chin thoughtfully, “Can't touch your books, since I think you would literally banish me to the moon. I already sorta messed with your species, and I like how you look at the moment anyhow. I could always mess with your mane, but that’s soooo second grade 'teasing the girl you like',” He shrugs, “I'm really at a loss here.”

“Well, you can try plotting out lunch,” Twilight replied with a shrug before she got distracted by something that smelled absolutely amazing, “I'm sure you can... think of something.”

“...Did you really just give me an open-invitation to mess with your food?” Discord said, raising an eyebrow, “Just what are you smelling anyhow?”

“I have no idea,” Twilight replied as she continued to pursue the scent, “But it is very nice...”

“I'm obligated to ask that, if it is not a traditionally edible item, you don't try to eat it,” Discord replied drolly, “I tried that once – ponies get so annoyed if you start munching on their ears...”

“Why am I not surprised you tried that?” Twilight said with a sigh, “Anyway – I think we're close to... oh,” Twilight stopped as she rounded a corner, and came face-to-face with the origin of the amazing smell.

“Oh, good,” Discord said as he rounded the corner, “They're in bloom.”

The two of them were face-to-face with what seemed like a small sea of Poison Joke, and nopony else was coming within a dozen paces of the oversized planter and its contents, “For the record,” Discord whispered as he leaned toward Twilight, “You can eat these.”

“Tell me you neutralized these,” Twilight asked simply, “After the group in the robes, I don't think I can handle any more surprises.”

“Sadly, yes,” Discord replied with a sigh, “You're lucky you know – I'd usually find everypony's reactions to that sort of thing far more valuable than anyone's- Hey!” Discord cut himself short as he noticed Twilight was sampling one of the flowers, “I'm trying to be oblique here!”

“Hrm?” Twilight looked up, a blue flower still poking out of the side of her mouth that she quickly tried to swallow as discreetly as possible, “Sorry, were you saying something?”

Discord glowered at her, before relaxing with a sigh, “You're lucky you look good in purple. I hope you realize that,” Before Twilight could say anything, Discord continued, “So – you said food? Unlike certain draconequi, some of us need proper food – like cutlery.”

“The restaurant will probably want those back,” Twilight replied as they started off again, heading around the flower planter with Twilight giving it only a couple of backward glances, “So please stick to menu items.”

“Well, as long as they have carrot dogs, I suppose I'll manage,” Discord replied with a shrug, “As long as I can get one without the bun.”

“...you know what?” Twilight said as she paused and glanced back at Discord, “I think we'll stick to food stands. Less for you to mess with.”

“And so she – wait, is that Princess Luna?”

Twilight rolled her eyes she continued on, not noticing that her companion was no longer following, “The joke goes 'is that Princess Celestia', but I'm sure she'd appreciate the gesture.”

“No, I mean-” Discord's arm stretched out, wrapping around Twilight's shoulders before pulling her back toward him. Once she was pressed firmly against his side, his other claw reached over and turned her head to look in the proper direction, “Is that Princess Luna? I honestly can't tell.”

“Uh...” was all Twilight could manage, since she wasn't quite sure how to process what she was looking at.

It certainly looked like Luna – right stature, right coloration. Her mane, however, was a flat blue not unlike how it was just after Nightmare Moon had been purged from her. Her Cutie Mark was concealed by a set of saddlebags overflowing with prizes, and any wings were hidden by the shirt that simply read 'Blame My Sister'.

That she was pronking about while the sun was still up was also a mark against identification.

“Glad to know it’s not just me,” Discord commented as they both watched the possible-Luna move between stands, “This is weird even by my standards.”

“But... how do we figure out if it’s really Luna?” Twilight asked quietly. If it was some sort of impostor, or a doppelganger or if Luna had fallen into the mirror pond...

...Actually, the last one would be interesting. She'd need to look into it.

Further discussion was cut off as the mare finally noticed them, looking at them in surprise for a moment before pronking over to them, “Salutations! How are our most favored draconequi faring this fine day?”

Twilight and Discord blinked owlishly at the Alicorn before they both turned and looked at each other, “Luna.”

Luna blinked in surprise at the simultaneous declaration, “...Is that not obvious? We were not aware that our identity was unclear.”

“You're pronking around while the sun is up,” Discord replied, his paw pointing at Luna while his claw idly messed with Twilight's mane before idly adding, “Such a lovely word – 'pronking'. Like 'abscond' or 'haberdashery'. Or 'demesne'.”

“You are up awfully early, Princess,” Twilight added as she brushed Discord's arm away. The arm just detached, leaving the claw to continue playing with her mane, “What's the occasion?”

“I was hoping to see more of your research,” Luna replied cheerfully, “We will admit that awaking at such an early hour was taxing, but then I found a most wondrous drink!”

“Pinkie's brew?” Discord suggested.

“Espresso!” Luna replied, pulling out a thermos and shaking it. Something sloshed around inside, “A most impressive drink – if we had known of it earlier we might have taken more responsibilities from our sister!”

“And now you're just...” Twilight waved at the festival around them, “Enjoying the party?”

“Indeed!” Luna nodded energetically has her horn lighted, the blue glow of the spell wrapping around her saddlebag as she rummaged through it before pulling out some sort of possum plush toy, “We have won ourselves many things so far!”

“Well, if you would like, I can-” Twilight started before a cough from next to her cut her off, “I can let you take a look at my work,” She glared up at Discord with a slight smirk, “I am sadly indisposed at the moment.”

“Indeed!” Luna nodded animatedly, “Young Spike told me as much when I stopped by your castle earlier. I was actually hoping to pass on another message...” Luna tapped at her chin, “...hrm. We cannot seem to remember what it was.”

Discord stared at her for a moment before bringing his paw to his face. A moment later his claw lifted from his head and joined it, “It's finally happened – I always figured Tia's would go first, given she got stuck running things for a millennium. On the other paw, being stuck on the moon can't be good for your mental health, alter-ego or not.”

Twilight stepped back from Discord far enough to give him a gaze between crossed and confused, “What finally happened?”

“Why, isn't it obvious?” Discord replied, “She's gone senile in her old age.”

Twilight brought a claw to her face in a mirror of Discord's as Luna scoffed, loudly. “I dare say, sir!” Luna protested, “My memory is impeccable, unlike yours! And my sister...” she paused, blinking, “...Oh, now we remember. Our sister will be dropping by tomorrow.”

“What!?” Discord looked up at Luna in surprise. Twilight however felt the inkling of a plan coming.

“Oh, yes,” Luna continued with a nod as she fished through her bags before pulling out a pack of what looked like jelly babies, “She seemed interested in taking in the festival, as well as ensuring that Discord was...” Luna tapped at her chin for a moment before settling on, “...behaving.”

“What.” Discord seemed less than thrilled at the idea of Princess checking up on him, it seemed. On the other claw, Twilight seemed to light up at the new piece of information.

“Well, I have an idea that can address both issues,” Twilight stepped closer Luna before turning and giving Discord a grin that made him very nervous. And insanely curious, “Discord, why don't you show Celestia around tomorrow?”

“What!?” Discord managed to stammer after a moment, “You can't really-”

“But it's just what both of you need,” Twilight said, interrupting, “She needs to see you aren't that bad, and you want to enjoy the festival.”

“Not with sun-butt though!” Discord replied sharply, “Why else would I have blackmailed you!?”

“I think this an excellent idea!” Luna said, throwing in her own vote on the matter, “Splendid! Wonderful!”

Faced with two grinning mares, Discord let out a sigh of defeat, “Horseapples.”

Stiff Competition

The arrival platform of the Ponyville train station was unusually quiet, given the festival being held in town. That likely had something to do with the draconequus currently standing in the middle of it as he waited for the next train. The other ponies at the station were giving him a wide berth, leaving a fifteen and three-quarter radius circle around him clear.

Twilight had done the math.

“It's going to look bad if everypony is avoiding him like that when she arrives,” she whispered as she watched through a pair of field glasses. Given the shrubbery they were hiding in was just across the platform, it was probably unnecessary. But better safe than sorry.

“He is obviously bored,” Luna replied from next to her, her voice equally quiet, “If he would stop messing with that uniform of his, mayhaps he would stop unnerving the others,” the alicorn glanced at the draconequus next to her, “Where did he get that, anyhow?”

“I have no idea,” Twilight replied, “He just said it was his 'Fleet Uniform'.” Which was odd, since the Equestrian Navy had never had a uniform consisting of black pants and a red shirt with black shoulders – though he did pull it off rather well. She still had no idea what the gold emblem on his chest was supposed to be though, “Just be glad he isn't wearing an orange suit and top-hat.”

“We suppose...” Luna replied, but she didn't sound convinced, “Twilight, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Trust me,” Twilight eyes never came off her field glasses as she spoke. Off in the distance, a familiar plume of smoke was coming into view, “I know these two better than almost anypony.”

“We would like to think we know our sister better than anypony,” Luna replied, “a thousand years absence or not. As for Discord – would Fluttershy not be closer to him?”

“Fluttershy...” Twilight lowered the glasses as she mulled over her next words, “...She tries. She does, but she thinks she can make him... better.”

“And my sister?” Luna asked.

“Princess Celestia is...” Twilight paused as she sought the right word, “...Princess Celestia.”

“She's an embodiment of harmony and stability,” Luna suggested.

“And a pony,” Twilight added, “Remember the Gala?”

“Ah,” Luna replied with a nod as she turned back to watching the train platform as the train closed in, “Still – I'm surprised you aren't in your laboratory...”

“Spike and Flash are reorganizing the library after making a mess looking for a history book Discord wanted for… something,” Twilight grinned as she adjusted her field glasses, “And who said an experiment has to be in a lab?”

The train came to a stop with a whistle, cutting off whatever Luna might have said. Instead the alicorn and draconequus both focused on the scene before them. Usually, at this point, a veritable sea of ponies would pour from the train and onto the platform, but today there was only one pony on board.

Everypony on the platform bowed as their solar diarch stepped off the train and came among them, gently prompting those bowing to please stand, assuring them she was just here to enjoy the time among her little ponies.

Discord stoically stood in the middle of the crowd, standing tall and holding a sign that read 'sun-butt' as he waited for Celestia to notice him. Given he was the tallest being on the platform, it didn't take long, “Discord,” Celestia greeted him with a polite nod.

“Your Radiance,” Discord replied with an outlandishly deep bow, tossing the sign off into the distance as he dipped low. Somewhere in the distance, a cat screamed. Discord quickly rose back up, tapping at his chin, “...That is one of your titles, right?”

“...No, it is not,” Celestia said with a sigh, “I take it Twilight believes I should spend the day with you in order to realize the error in my judgment regarding your character?”

“Pretty much,” Discord replied with a shrug before flashing Celestia a grin, “Manipulating events to plunge somepony into a situation without their knowledge in an attempt to teach them some lesson since you think you know better than them. Sound familiar?”

“If you are implying that Twilight Sparkle somehow learned this from me...” Celestia began, but Discord quickly interrupted her.

“Oh, I wasn't implying it,” Discord said with a grin, “I know it – I was just wondering how it felt to have the tables turned on you.”

“Well,” Luna said flatly, “This is a disaster.”

“Oh, hush,” Twilight replied quickly, “It's only been five minutes.”

“Four and twelve seconds.”

“But royal politics isn't why your here, is it?” Discord continued as he slid up next to Celestia and threw an arm over her shoulder, “You're here to take in the sights, enjoy yourself – have your cake, metaphorically and literally.”

As a small contingent of royal guards filed off the train and spread out around the pair, Celestia gave Discord a frown, “Why should I trust you with something as rare as my time off?”

Discord grinned, “Because, Sun-butt, Dear Twilight asked me to take care of you today - and if I disappoint her I doubt she'll keep being as much fun as she's been,” His grin quickly shifted into a frown as he glanced at the guards around them, “In fact, she'd be about as much fun as this lot – Well, that's one thing I can fix.”

Before Celestia could say anything, Discord snapped his fingers and the pair vanished in a puff of confetti and chocolate sprinkles. All they left behind was a gaggle of panicking guards and a pair of pale princesses.

“...Twilight,” Luna asked slowly after a moment, “Did Discord just ponynap my sister?”

“...maybe a little?” Twilight replied meekly.

On the other side of town, Discord and his captive princess re-materialized three paces to the left of a field of poison joke. Celestia stumbled on her hooves for half a heartbeat, giving her head a quick shake before glaring at Discord, “How in Tartarus did you teleport me? My wards should have-”

Discord simply tossed her a small slip of paper as he walked past her, “Come on Sun-butt; cake's this way.”

Celestia glowered at the draconequus as she unfolded the slip of paper and glanced over it, “...huh,” she said after a moment, “It never occurred to me to consider space as what was moving.”

Back across town, Luna had recovered enough of her senses to begin panicking, “He managed to circumvent sister's wards! That shouldn't even be possible!”

“It's Discord,” Twilight replied with a shrug as she started pulling herself out the hedge, “The difficult he does immediately. The impossible takes him a little longer. Come on.”

“Twilight, where are you going?” Luna asked as she followed after the purple draconequus, “We must muster a search party to-”

“They're in the eastern square,” Twilight replied simply, “That's where Sugarcube Corner and the other bakers have their stalls. If they're after cake, that's where they'll be.”

“Oh, yes, I suppose that makes a great deal of...,” Luna gave her self a quick shake before nodding sharply and turning toward the train platform, “I shall muster the guards and-”

“Luna, he ran from the guards once,” Twilight found herself rolling her eyes before she realized it. No, bad Twilight! Princesses don't roll their eyes at other princesses! “He can do it again. Trust me – I've been dealing with Discord for weeks now. Charging head-on will only get you a headache.”

“Speaking from experience?” Luna asked, quirking an eyebrow as she followed behind her, her usual composure quickly coalescing back into place.

Twilight shrugged, “He certainly hates getting out of my bed in the mornings,” There was a sudden thump behind Twilight, and the draconequus turned around to see the alicorn sprawled out on the ground, still half inside the bush, “you okay?”

“We're fine!” Luna quickly replied as she pulled herself back onto her hooves, “We were just... caught off-guard.”

“Right...” Twilight said after a moment before she started forward again. As they made their way though the crowds, they drew a constant stream of murmurs and gazes from the surrounding ponies – a pair of princesses was attention-grabbing like that, “I'm starting to wonder what Discord with thinking. He has to realize how much attention Celestia would get, right Luna...?” Twilight glanced back as she asked, only to find Luna was no longer behind her.

Rather, she was several paces back, surrounded by colts and fillies and busy signing one colts 'Blame My Sister' shirt. It took her a moment to notice Twilight looking at her, and the lunar demigoddess finally glanced up from her adoring fanbase, her wide grin temporarily turning into a look of confusion, “...What?”

“I think you just made my point,” Twilight said with a sigh, turning to continue toward the bakery when she found herself confronted with a fanbase of her own.

Except hers had robes.

Twilight massaged her temples with one claw. Only Discord was supposed to give her headaches this fast, “Guys.... robes? Really?”

The quintent of ponies in front of her glanced down at their purple robes for a moment before glancing back at the princess as their leader spoke, “What? We thought they were nice.”

“They are, really, but... ” Twilight started to assure them before stopping herself, “...no, wait. I don't have time for this. I need to find the princess.”

“She's right behind you.” the lead stallion provided.

“No, the other one.”

“Oh! She's in the Crystal Empire.” a mare in the back spoke up.

“Celestia!” Twilight finally snapped, “She's with Discord and...” she sighed as she slumped a little, “...he's probably hiding them somehow.”

“We can help!” the stallion quickly spoke up before spinning around, “Everyone! Spread out and start looking. The Goddess Prevails!”

“The Goddess Prevails!” the entire group chanted back before they all dispersed in seemingly random directions.

“Uh,” Twilight said after a moment as she watched the other four vanish into the crowd, “What are they looking for?”

“I dunno,” the stallion provided with a shrug before giving Twilight a quick bow and dashing off himself.

“Well...” Luna's voice suddenly came from right behind her as Twilight spun around to see the fellow princess regarding her with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk, “We did not realize you had such a following.”

“It's new,” Twilight replied with a shrug and a sigh before she started walking again, “It's not like you didn't have a cult back in the day, and these days you poll higher than Celestia for-”

“You are mistaken, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna cut in as she followed the purple Draconequus.

“Well, I know Cosmare polls aren't exactly scientific, but...” Twilight began to reply only to be cut off again.

“We were referring to the first comment, not the second,” Luna corrected her, “We never had a following until our...” Luna shuffled nervously, “...fall.”

Twilight turned back to Luna and blinked owlishly, “Wait, you didn't know? The Adeptus Astartes weren't big, but given they literally worshiped your work I figured you'd have known something.”

Luna was silent a long moment before finally speaking, “It seems Discord is not the only one missing parts of their past...” she said, mostly to herself Twilight guessed, as they plotted along through the crowd.

“What is that about - wait, hold on,” They had finally reached the bakery stands, and there was a distinct lack of white alicorns being dragged around by deranged chaos lords, “This isn't right,” Twilight said with a frown as she scanned the crowd – much easier now then when she was still a pony, “Why aren't they here? They were supposed to be here.”

“Mayhaps they have already moved on?” Luna suggested.

“Impossible,” Twilight replied, dismissing the notion, “Too many cakes and not enough traumatized ponies about.”

“A harsh but reasonable metric, we suppose,” Luna shrugged in reply as she scanned the collected baking stalls, “Though we are wondering which you are attributing to our sister and which to her date.”

“Yes,” Twilight replied simply as she continued to scan the crowd, “This makes no sense – they didn't go past us, I didn't feel any teleports and we haven't seen...” Twilight blinked as she looked around again, “Everypony is being surprisingly calm given the number of princesses about, don't you think?”

“They are likely accustomed to you, Twilight Sparkle, and those interested in us have already made themselves known.” Luna replied as she drifted toward a strudel stand off to their left.

“But no crowds for Celestia,” Twilight pointed out, “Not even the usual fifteen and three-quarter paces half the town still gives him. You can practically track Celestia by her social wake, so why isn't...?” Her train of thought was interrupted as she felt a tap at her shoulder. She turned to find one of her... worshipers standing next to her, “Um… yes?”

“We, um, have been unable to find any sign of the princess or the Chaos Lord... My Lady.” The pony – a mare, based on the voice – said as she fidgeted nervously under her cloak. Twilight couldn't make out anything under her hood.

Twilight let out a sigh before giving the mare her most comforting smile, “That fine – I wasn't expecting much anyway.”

The mare turned to look at Twilight – or at least Twilight thought she did – for a moment before finally finding her voice, “Oh, thank goodness – I thought you were going to be mad. We did find something strange though.”

That gave Twilight pause. Little off-hoof comments like that almost never ended well, “Could you elaborate?”

The mare nodded before pointing across the square, “There were a pair of ponies cutting lines for Pinkie Pies' cupcakes but nopony seemed to care.”

“...huh,” Was all Twilight could manage as she followed the mare's hoof to where she was pointing. Sure enough, a couple of ponies were slipping past the crowd and heading straight for the front, grabbing a box of cupcakes and hoofing over some bits before heading back off. The mare was tall and sleek, her pink mane standing out against her white coat. In contrast, the stallion was rather drab – grayish brown coat and coal black mane. His only discerning feature seemed to be his well-groomed beard, “You might be on to something.”

The mare paused for a moment before she sprung forward excitedly, “Really?!” Twilight could now make out her features – yellow coat and jet black mane in a braid, and a bright smile that Minuette would likely give full marks.

“Really,” Twilight replied, giving the mare what she hoped was a reassuring pat on the shoulder as she started to move, “But I gotta go – enjoy the rest of the fair, okay?” With that, she headed off with Luna following a few steps behind. Twilight weaved her way through the crowd, angling for the front of the line and ignoring the angry grumbles of the ponies behind her as she finally reached Pinkie Pie, “Oh, hey Twi!” the perky baker greeted her with an energetic wave, “Oh, and you brought Luna too! Hi Luna!”

“Greetings, Pinkie Pie,” Luna replied with a bow, “How are things?”

“Great!” Pinkie replied, raising her voice as the line behind them started grumbling more loudly.

“Hey!” Twilight snapped as she turned to the crowd, “Cupcakes are on me if you'll all give me five fraking minutes!” The entire crowd went silent and after a moment, Twilight turned to her friend, “Anyhow – Did you notice anything odd about those last two customers? The tall white mare and the brown stallion?”

Pinkie tapped at her chin for a moment before replying “Nope! They seemed really nice.”

“Even though they cut the entire line?” Luna asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, they were in a rush, so why not?” Pinkie replied cheerfully, “Why?”

“No reason,” Twilight replied as she dropped a large bag of bits on Pinkie's counter, “Thanks – save a couple for me, will you?”

“No problem!” Pinkie replied with jaunty salute a the two princesses headed off. Twilight gave her friend a distracted glance as she worked to get an eye back on the suspect pair of ponies. They were, for some reason, oddly hard to keep an eye on.

“Twilight, I fail to see-” Luna started to say before the draconequus twisted around and quickly shushed her.

“Quiet!” Twilight whispered, “They'll hear you and-” Twilight froze as the color drained from her face – somewhat literally, as it dripped off the tip of her chin – as she gaped in shock, “Oh my gosh! I'm sooo sorry Princess! I didn't-”

Luna cut her off with a hoof and a small smile, “Fear not, Twilight Sparkle,” she said softly, “I understand – now, why these two?”

“Because they're weird and nopony cares.” Twilight replied simply.

Luna blinked at that, “Not caring about a ponies oddities is something of a theme for Ponyville, no?”

“Quirks? Sure,” Twilight replied as she turned back around, “Cutting in lie for Pinkie Pie cupcakes? Not a chance,” She took a deep breath before closing her eyes, “I'm going to try something.”

Luna quirked an eyebrow at her fellow princess, “And what, pray tell, would 'something' be?”

“A trick I learned from Discord,” Twilight replied, “And no – it's not dangerous, so shush.” Luna' mouth snapped shut with an audible 'snap' as Twilight turned her attention to what she had started thinking of as her 'string sense'. Countless threads and strands criss-crossed the landscape, the ghostly forms of ponies and buildings visible through them as she tried to find the suspect pair again. It turned out they weren't hard to find. She was expecting one of them to be warping the lines around them to explain whatever effect they were using to cut lines and crowds – what she wasn't expecting was for both of them to be twisting reality as they walked around. That was...actually perfectly logical, if you made one assumption.

“It's them,” Twilight announced as she opened her eyes.

Luna blinked at the sudden announcement, “Who's them?”

“The strange couple,” Twilight replied as she started looking through the crowd, “Discord must be casting some sort of effect on them and-” Twilight stopped as she finally saw the couple, only now they were very obviously Discord and Celestia, “...woah.”

“What is it?” Luna asked as she followed Twilight's gaze and seemed to notice nothing amiss.

“Look over there,” Twilight replied as she grabbed Luna by the chin and forced her to look in the right direction, “It's Discord and your sister.”

“Twilight, I really think I would have-” Luna started before stopping, her eyes going wide, “How by the moon did I not notice that?”

“It some sort of... somepony else's problem field,” Twilight replied as she tugged Luna toward the edge of the square, “Makes ponies think nothing is strange about you or what you're doing. We end up making up alternate information to perceive that makes sense.”

“I...see...” Luna replied slowly as she let Twilight drag her along, “We are suddenly very glad Discord never fights seriously.”

“Try threatening Fluttershy,” Twilight replied idly as she pulled them into another bush, “Alright – this should be a good angle to listen in on them...”

“How?” Luna asked, “They are too far and the crowd is too loud.”

“With this!” Twilight replied by pulling out a dish-shaped object, “I found it in Flash Sentry's equipment. My brother used something similar to spy on Cadence before he asked her out.”

“...I see.” Luna said again, albeit it far more flatly, as Twilight fiddled with the device until it finally jumped into life.

“-impressive mare, Tia.” Discord's voice was unmistakable, even with the distortion due to coming from such a small speaker, “You've truly taught her well.”

“Where are they?” Luna whispered. In reply, Twilight pulled out a pair of binoculars, handed them to the Alicorn and pointed out of the shrub before dawning a pair of their own. Through the magnification, it was easy to spot the towering form of the draconequus and the equally tall form of Celestia sitting across from each other at a small table.

“I can assure you that Twilight is impressive all on her own,” Celestia replied demurely, “All I ever did was make sure she had the chance and resources to truly shine.”

Discord looked up from the slice of cake he was toying with and flashed Celestia a grin before popping a strawberry into his mouth, “I was talking about her eating habits; I thought only you could eat cake that fast,” Celestia turned a cheery shade of red before tossing a strawberry at Discord's head. The draconequus simply caught it in his mouth, consuming it before saying, “Come on Tia – you were grooming her to be a princess, right? Inhaling pastries is just part of the package...”

“It seems my sister's eating habits have caught up with her,” Luna snickered.

“...You should see your sister on Nightmare Night.” Discord continued.

“We're putting him back in our garden,” Luna said flatly as as she started moving out of the shrubbery.

“No, you're not...” Twilight grabbed Luna by the shoulder and pulled her back, “We're trying to get your sister to like Discord, remember?”

Luna grumbled but sat down again, glancing back toward her sister as she did, “...She does seem to be enjoying herself, for once.”

Twilight looked back toward the pair. It seemed Discord had begun to recount their adventure in the Everfree against the Shrubbery using table items and silverware. The princess seemed to find the entire thing very amusing, if her giggling was anything to go by, “Yeah, it looks like she is...”

The pair continued to alternate between recounting stories – it seemed they were seeing who could come up with the most embarrassing story about Twilight at this point, and Celestia had the upper hoof – and toying with their food. Somewhat literally for the latter, since once Discord realized Celestia was better at embarrassing Twilight then he was, he started trying to embarrass Tia, and usually got a fruit to the face in response. Eventually, one way or another, they ran out of cake. Discord tossed a few bits onto the table as he stood before moving to help Celestia out of her seat. “Come on,” Twilight said as she grabbed the other princess, “They're moving.”

Luna let herself get dragged along as they continued their stalking, watching as the two ahead of them snaked through the crowds toward another section of the festival. Unlike Discord and Celestia though, everypony seemed to notice the draconequus and the princess as they moved through the crowds. “We are beginning to suspect that we are not suited for espionage work, Twilight Sparkle.”

“I bet you a chocolate fudge cake at least one of them already knows we're here,” Twilight groused as she pressed on, “Of course, if we go and confront them on that then they'll just go home and this entire venture is wasted and...” Twilight paused, as she looked around, “...do you hear music?”

“It is a festival, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna replied as the continued along, “music is to be expected.”

“But it sounds like we're getting closer, and-” Twilight pointed out before she noticed something else, “...where did they go?” Ahead of them, the crowd thickened dramatically as the street opened up into another square where the music seemed to be coming from, “I'm going to scan for them again – make sure I don't walk into a pole or something.”

“Is that actually-” Twilight didn't catch the rest of what Luna said as she started looking for the characteristic warping of strings that seemed to mark the two of them, finally finding it near the center of the square where... “Wait, are they dancing?”

Luna scanned the crowd before finally spotting them again, “So it would seem – we did not realize Discord was such a good dancer.”

“Neither did I,” Twilight replied absently as she watched. In the middle of the square, surrounded by dancing ponies, Discord was leading Celestia through the steps for some sort of dance meant for bipeds. As a result Celestia was leaning heavily on Discord as the slowly circled the square, though she managed to make it look surprisingly natural, “He always is full of surprises.”

“Anypony as old as him will be,” Luna commented as she slipped over to a nearby food stand and started sampling their wares, “I know my sister and I certainly do,” Twilight glanced toward Luna for a moment before turning back to the dancing pair. Luna paused her sampling of what looked like some sort of scone, “Come now, Twilight – is this not what you wanted? The two of them seem to be getting along grandly. We see no reason why our sister would continue to interfering in your research now. Personally, we were hoping for more of Discord's usual antics, but to see how far he's come under the tutelage of you and your friends more than makes up for such a dreadfully normal afternoon.”

“Let's just... go back to spying on them,” Twilight replied as she pulled the listening dish back out and pointed it at the pair. She suddenly didn't feel like talking to Luna.

“-Surprisingly well, I must say.” Celestia said as she looked up into Discord's eyes. As they were now, Discord was actually taller then the princess, and Discord took advantage of this to grin down at her as she spoke, “Your knowledge of griffon dances is impressive.”

“I would hope so,” Discord replied as they twirled across the dance floor, “I did teach it to them,” When Celestia gave him a questioning look, he abruptly broke eye-contact, “Shut up, I was hammered,” Discord said defensively, “Like you've never done something dumb before.”

It was Celestia's turn to break her gaze away, glancing downward, “Many, many times. And it always comes at the cost of somepony else's happiness...”

“Boop.”

Celestia blinked before going cross-eyed to stare at the claw hovering just above her nose, “What?”

“Stop moping,” Discord admonished her, “You're no fun when your moping. So you made some mistakes – big deal. Everypony does sometimes. For beings like us, the costs will always be bigger. You ever blame someone else for your screw ups?”

Celestia balked, “Of course not!”

“And you always clean up after yourself,” Discord added, “So, like I said, stop moping. Or do you want your precious student to see your moment of weakness?”

Celestia just stared up at Discord for a moment before leaning closer to him with a chuckle, “I had forgotten what talking with you was like,” She didn't seem to care that Discord had suddenly gotten very stiff, "I've missed this.”

“What?” Discord replied with forced casualness, “Ever-escalating verbal spars followed by reality-rending magics being tossed around? Twilight told me to behave or she wouldn't let me play with the prism collider.”

Celestia chuckled, “The sparring, yes. The fighting not so much,” she glanced up at Discord, and as she did her expression turned pensive, “You really don't remember, do you?”

“How would I know?” Discord replied with a shrug, “But you're the second alicorn to say something like that to me so I suppose it's true.”

“You've been looking into it on your own, haven't you?” Celestia asked.

“Of course I have!” Discord answered back, “It's me we're talking about, who wouldn't want to know more?” he sighed in apparent resignation, “But even Twilight's library didn't have anything on me – at least, nothing I didn't know.”

“Perhaps Twilight could help you?” Celestia suggested.

“I'd rather not,” Discord replied with a shrug, “She has enough on her plate after all, what with being a draconequus and relearning magic and the rips in reality I might have accidentally caused on-”

“You don't want to worry her,” Celestia cut in with a smile, “How sweet.”

“Please,” Discord scoffed, “She lets me actually use my skills, that's all – and she's ever so much fun to mess with. Sort of like you in that regard.”

“Oh?” Celestia smirked as she moved closer to Discord, “And has she started messing with you back?”

Discord smirked back, “A little – I will admit it's more fun then I've had in ages.”

“Twilight?” Twilight jumped as she felt a hoof on her shoulder and spun around to find Luna looking at her, worry written across her face, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Twilight replied quickly, “Yeah, I'm fine. Why?”

“You look like somebody just kicked your owl,” Luna replied, “Is something the matter?”

“No, nothing at all,” Twilight answered, “It's just... does Discord have amnesia?”

Luna blinked at that, “I suspect that he does not remember everything he should, yes. What brings this up?”

“Just...” Twilight gulped nervously, “Discord's been acting odd. Odder than usual, I mean. Did you mention something to him?”

“I might have,” Luna said with a frown, “I promise, I meant no harm by the comment. I had not realized that he would pursue such a idle statement so,” she sighed, “Then again – it is Discord. He would be rather obsessive in regards to himself.”

“It's fine, really,” Twilight tried to assure her, “I was just wondering. I guess that explains a couple things... thanks.”

“Think nothing of it, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna replied, “If there are ever any problems, please let me...” she trailed off as her expression turned puzzled, “Twilight Sparkle, you're beeping.”

Twilight blinked, “What?”

“You're beeping,” Luna repeated as she leaned closer to her, “Actually, it sounds more like clicking. Are you carrying glassware on you, by chance?”

Twilight blinked owlishly again before she rapidly started patting herself down. She eventually found what she was looking for buried in her mane, reaching in and pulling out a small glass sphere with a compass needle floating in the middle. “What is that?”

“I use it to measure and detect chaos effects,” Twilight explained as she frowned at the device.

“Is it supposed to be acting like that?” Luna asked. 'Like that' in this case meant the needle bouncing around erratically, jolting up and down like it was being used as a foals rattle even as it was held perfectly still. A sharp series of taps emanated from the device like the worlds smallest jackhammer as the two stared at it.

“No, it's not,” Twilight replied as she watched it, “Not unless...” her eyes went wide before she rushed forward into the dance floor, “Discord!”

Discord looked up at Twilight and smiled, “Ah, Twilight! Excellent timing! You just won me a-”

“Clear the square!” Twilight shouted, “Now!”

Discord let go of the princess, summoning a collection of over-sized brooms to start shooing ponies clear as he moved toward Twilight, “What's going-” he froze as a full-body shiver run up him from the tip of his tail to the end of his horn, “- Oh. That.”

“Yeah,” Twilight said with a grim nod, “That.”

“Excuse me,” Luna asked as she caught up to them, “But what is going on?”

Before anyone could reply, a tear in space materialized a dozen steps behind Discord with an ear-piercing screech and a flash of purple light before, slowly, a towering figure of claws and feathers lumbered out into the square.

Discord gulped nervously, “...company.”

Perfect Stranger

A tremor coursed through the castle, shaking Twilight’s bed and pulling the purple draconequus from her slumber. Slowly, she rolled over in her cocoon of blankets, reaching across the empty half of the bed to pick up the clock and check the time.

Nine fourty-five. Still too early.

With an unceremonious toss, she dismissed the clock to the floor and went back to the warmth of her covers.

Just as she was getting warm and comfortable again, her door slammed open and the sound of rushing hooves on crystal came into the room. Twilight could just make out a flash of orange through a crack in her fluffy entombmant, “Your highness!” Flash’s usual level voice had that crack in it that he tended to develop whenever dealing with Chaos-related things, Twilight noted, “We need you! All the experiments in the labs have either been let loose or turned on! And everything is on fire!”

“Unbelievable,” Twilight muttered as she rolled over, considering the pegasus for a moment before rolling back, “...five more minutes.”

“Princess!” Flash said pleadingly, rushing over to the bed and prodding at the roll in which his superior was hiding. At least, that’s what it sounded like to Twilight. She was still buried in the covers, “We’ve lost containment on both main labs, there’s a fire in the kitchen putting out purple smoke, and Spike is busy with-”

“Mister Sentry,” Twilight’s muffled voice came from somewhere deep inside her shell of comforters and blankets, “I spent the last three nights operating on caffeine alone. My sleep schedule is completely out of balance at the moment. Just close the bulkheads and let the experiments… experiment themselves out so I can recalibrate, or bring me all of the coffee.”

“But ma’am, all of the coffee is gone!”

There was a brief moment of silence before the cocoon of blankets spontaneously found themselves orbiting the draconequus standing on the bed at a distance of around five paces, “Why is the coffee gone?!”

Flash back-pedaled a few steps, “Well, that fire in the kitchen? Apparently one of the experiments created a portal to a group of sentient cockroaches….”

“Buck me...” Twilight muttered as she buried her face in one claw, “You know what? Fine. I’m up,” She stepped off the bed, the blankets resetting themselves with a lazy gesture as she headed out of her room, “Kitchen fire first; then coffee. No need to put everypony in more danger.”

“Ma’am,” Flash said as he followed behind her, “There is one other thing-”

“That can wait until later,” Twilight cut him off as they reached the main kitchen. The main kitchen wasn’t, actually, the main kitchen – it was a smaller ancillary kitchen that just happened to be the closest to their rooms. Thus, it saw the most use. Thus, it was the main kitchen.

At the moment though, the kitchen looked more like a particularly creative exhibit at Burning Mare. The stove was on fire. The coffee pot was on fire. Even the gorram juice on fire. Twilight didn’t even know you could burn juice.

The moment she stepped into the room, the cacophony of shrill chanting and cheers cut off as a horde of over-sized cockroaches all turned to look at her. “Alright – listen up!” Twilight started as she stepped into the kitchen, “I forgive – once. Either clean this up right now or-”

“Or what!?” A small voice chimes in from somewhere, “The island of the Undying Majesty does not recognize your authority!”

“You will clean this up,” Twilight repeated, “And if it is not, I will destroy 'her undying majesty', melt what is left of your miserable island to slag, and boil the seas around you for the next thousand years!"

The collection of cockroaches watched the strange purple draconequus before quickly setting into motion. Within minutes, the kitchen was back to the state Twilight remembered it being in as a small ‘pop’ signaled the forced collapse of a Rosen Bridge. “Much better,” Twilight said with a sigh as she strolled over to the coffee pot and went through the motions of setting it brewing its precious elixir.

“Wow – really glad I never got between you and coffee.”

Twilight nearly jumped out of skin at the unexpected voice, swinging around to see a familiar pink Alicorn watching her from the doorway next to Flash, “Cadence!” Twilight couldn’t help but grin as she rushed forward and pulled her sister-in-law into a hug, “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you send me a letter? Is Shiny here? Why are you so tense?”

Flash coughed politely to one side, drawing Twilight’s attention to the Pink Alicorn in her grasp. The one that Twilight was currently crushing into her chest. “Oh!” Twilight quickly let go of Cadence, letting the Alicorn catch her breath, “It’s just… it’s been a hectic week and I was just happy to see… It’s really good to see you, Cadence.”

“Likewise,” Cadence replied with a smile as she recomposed herself, “You seem to be handling this rather well,” Cadence commented as her gaze drifted up and down Twilight. Twilight, for her part, shifted nervously under the gaze for a few moments before Cadence spoke up again, “...did you just shrink?”

Twilight looked up to find herself at eye level with her former foal-sitter instead of just above her, “Oh, um… yes? It’s not really voluntary all of the time – but with a little focus I can adjust any of my proportions pretty much at will. It’s more efficient than shape-shifting but less flexible.”

“Any of your proportions?” Cadence raised an eyebrow with a grin, “Discord must have had a field day teaching you that trick.”

“Oh, don’t get me started,” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes as she moved to the now finished brewing coffee pot, “He didn’t even go with the jokes you’d expect, either! I mean, puns are bad enough but...” the small smile that had been growing on Twilight’s face inverted itself, “…nevermind,” she took a long pull from her cup of coffee before turning to Cadence, “What are you doing here? I’m not going to complain about a visit, but I can’t imagine you’re here just to chat.”

“I saw Discord at the castle in Canterlot the other day,” Cadence replied, “You have him out on some errand?”

“He’s working with Celestia at the moment,” Twilight said, staring into her cup for a moment before turning back to the pot and grabbing a refill, “Some sort of… research project. I don’t know the details. Coffee?”

“Please,” Cadence said with a small smile, though it didn’t last long, “You didn’t ask?”

“I didn’t have the chance,” Twilight said with a shrug as she prepared Cadences cup how she liked it – cream and five sugars, ugh – and handed it to her, “He’s been in Canterlot since the end of the festival.”

“Wait,” Cadence paused as she took the coffee, looking up at her sister in surprise, “You mean Discord hasn’t been here in over a week? I thought your work-”

“My work is fine,” Twilight assured her as she took another sip of her coffee, “If you’re here because you’re worried about my research, that’s all still moving-”

“We’re here because we’re worried about you, Twilight,” Cadence said as she set her coffee aside, “You’ve barely been out of your castle in the last week, you haven’t been sending your usual letters, and… we’re worried, is all.”

“You’ve been spying on me?” Twilight raised an eyebrow at that, “How?”

Flash coughed softly, “Apologies, Ma’am, I just thought...”

Twilight sighed, “I’m fine, really,” she tired to assure Cadence, waving her coffee cup vaguely, “I’ve just been busy, that’s all. I had some theories after the incident at the festival, and...”

“Yeah,” Cadence chuckled, “I’d heard about that – Shining is going to want all the details on that one.”

“Shining is here?” Twilight said, ears perking up, “Where?”

“Think he’s catching up with Spike,” Cadence replied, waving vaguely down the hall, “Something about rampaging cabbages?”

“It’s an experiment.” Twilight defended herself, “Discord suggested observation of animated objects to develop a decay model of the pseudo-spell matrix’s.”

“Are you sure he wasn’t just recreating Ogres and Oubliettes?” Cadence asked, “Because Shining took one look at them and said something about ‘Tomb of Horrors’.”

“That… might have been a secondary objective,” Twilight admitted after a moment, “It didn’t affect the experimental protocol, so there was no reason to say no!”

Cadence propped her head up with one hoof as she studied Twilight with a smirk, “He never tried to get you to play? Faust knows Shining’s tried to convince me on occasion.”

“Oh no,” Twilight gave a dismissive wave of her claw, “Discord would much rather play different games with me – usually its ‘how can we mess with the Princess today?’,” She took a sip of her coffee before adding, “...though, some of his training exercises were like riddles, in an absurdist sort of way.”

“He hasn’t done anything too bad though, right?” Cadence asked, her voice taking a worried tone.

“Of course not!” Twilight replied, “Crazy as he is, I think the worst that’s ever happened was that we ended up in bed together.”

Cadence sputtered at that. “What?”

“Oh, not like that!” Twilight said quickly, “I just woke up once and he’d wrapped himself around me while I was asleep and I kicked him out of bed, but that really didn’t dissuade him so he did it again so I started getting creative and the funny thing is the one that kept him from coming back the longest was when I started cuddling him back and he completely freaked out and oh sweet Celestia I’m going to shut up now.”

Twilight resisted the urge to hide inside her coffee cup as Cadence stared at her in slack-jawed awe before she started laughing, “Oh, that is hilarious! Big bad lord of chaos freaking out when the tables get turned!”

“Well, he seemed to get over it quick enough,” Twilight said nervously, “Since afterward he started trying to get reactions of me even more often. Not like before, I mean. It was more like he enjoyed having somebody to just… verbally spar with,” Twilight began to frown again, “I wonder if he does the same thing with Celestia.”

“The same what?” Twilight looked up at the voice just in time to see her brother walk into the kitchen. Shining Armor was a tall, well-built, white-coated unicorn of immense magical power. In short, he was the poster boy for the Royal Guard even before he’d made captain.

So it was fairly out of character for him to just stare at his sister as he tried to process the draconequus in the room, “...huh.”

“Come have a seat, dear,” Cadence said as she pulled a chair out for her husband, “Twilight and I were just discussing Discord’s behavior.”

“I...uh… right,” Shining gave a brief shake of his head before walking into the kitchen, taking the offered seat and flashing a smile at his wife as she levitated another cup of coffee to him. He took a sip of it before looking at his sister, “I’d seen the letter, but actually seeing it is… something else.”

“How are mom and dad taking it?” Twilight asked nervously.

Shining shrugged, “They’re sure you’ll be able to turn yourself back; in the meantime, they figure this is good payback for turning them into potted plants.”

Twilight groaned, “You break the laws of reality one time, and nopony ever lets you live it down...” she looked up from her claw and noticed an absence, “Where’s Spike?”

“Cleaning up the cabbages,” Shining replied with a smirk, “Lowest body count had to clean up – and I won by a landslide.”

“Well, as long as he’s alright with it...” Twilight replied non-committally, making a mental note to double-check on the damage.

“What about you?” Shining asked, “Are you alright? I mean with...” he waved a hoof at her vaguely, “This.”

“You just gestured to all of me,” Twilight replied before letting out a sigh, “But really, I’m fine. It took some getting used to but this form is actually pretty useful. And hey, I have thumbs now! Thumbs rock!” Twilight waved the digits in question around for emphasis before adding with a shrug, “Plus, you know, reality-bending chaos powers.”

“Bah,” Shining waved a hoof dismissively, “Hokey powers and prehensile digits are no match for a good horn on your head, sis.”

Twilight considered her brother for a moment, leaning back as she said, with great gravitas, “You don’t know the power of Chaos...”

The two siblings stared each other down for a moment before both cracked and started laughing. Cadence blinked owlishly, “Did I… miss something?”

“Nothing important,” Twilight reassured her as she picked her coffee back up. She took a sip and grimaced at the cold beverage. A short cantrip had the beverage piping hot again in short order, “Really though, I’m touched that you thought to comes check on me but I’m fine – honest,” Twilight looked at the two of them questioningly, “You weren’t this worried right after I changed. What’s different now?”

“It’s just...” Shining shifted in his seat nervously, “Right afterward, you were still… you. Recently though, you’ve been different.”

“Or so says Flash Sentry,” Twilight added, glancing toward the guard. The pegasus, for his part, sheepishly tried to be as unnoticeable as possible.

“You haven’t been answering your mail,” Cadence said, drawing Twilight’s attention from Flash, “or you would have known we were coming. The return box in the library has a light coating of dust on the bottom, meaning nopony has been in to check anything in or out for a week and you didn’t get up until nearly ten today – and that was only because your castle was literally on fire.”

“I’m sleeping off a work binge,” Twilight replied defensively, “And fires have been a fairly common occurrence ever since I started working with chaos magic. Discord...” she paused to take another sip of her coffee, “...Discord claimed that fire was one of the more common manifestations of chaos magic.”

“That doesn’t explain everything, Twilight,” Shining said, “please – tell us what’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong,” Twilight replied, staring down at her cup as claws clicked against its side, “Really.”
“Twily, I’m not sure-” whatever else Shining was going to say was cut off as a large explosion of chocolate sprinkles and sakura petals detonated right in the middle of their group, sending the three of them reeling back through a cloud of powdered sugar.

“Ah, horseapple – must of bounced off the pantry’s sub-ether echo,” Discord’s distinct voice cut through the cloud as the draconequus himself stepped forward, dusting himself off and looking around, “Bah! And I couldn’t even get my aim right either! This isn’t my bedroom or...” he cut himself off as he saw the other draconequus pulling herself up off the floor, “…oh, hello Twilight. Hope I didn’t, uh, crash anything?”

“Discord?” Twilight said, surprised before she moved closer, “Where have you been? We’ve had three experiments finish since the festival and without you I can’t cross-check the control groups.”

“Oh, you know,” Discord waved a paw vaguely as he picked bits of chocolate sprinkle from Twilight’s mane with his claws, “Busybusybusy. Celestia’s roped me into this, uh... research project she’s putting together. But half the time she just wants to sit around and talk over tea.”

“You having tea with the Princess?” Twilight couldn’t help but chuckle at the mental image, “Doesn’t seem very… you.”

“Because it’s not!” Discord replied sharply before adding, “and before we go any further on that – who or what did I land on?”

“That would be my chair,” Shining replied gruffly as he dusted himself off, “Good to see your self control hasn’t gotten any better.”

“My self control is excellent these days!” Discord cut back with a small huff, “I’ll have you know I only changed the species of three of Miss Sunshine’s maids today,” he leaned closer to Shining before stage-whispering, “But between you and me, I think the one mare wanted to be a giraffe.”

“Don’t pay the old goat any mind, Shiny,” Twilight said as she softly elbowed Discord, “I honestly doubt Princess Celestia would put up with any of his antics, although...” she turned to Discord, “Tea? Really?”

“Well, she had tea,” Discord said with a shrug, “I had other alphanumerics. A nicely brewed cup of Cue in the morning does wonders, though Ampersand does a much better job keeping me awake while she drones on and on...”

“Not a fan of history then?” Twilight asked, smirking, “Other than your own, I mean.”

“History I can deal with,” Discord said as he dug out the coffee pot, uncrushed it and then unemptied it, “It’s the philosophy I can’t deal with. I mean, ugh...” he grimaced before downing the entire pot, “All she does is talk; at least you try and test what you’re talking about.”

“Hrm...” Twilight considered that for a moment, “Experimental philosophy. I wonder how that would work?”

“Isn’t that the thing with the train tracks?” Discord asked as he refilled the pot.

“That’s a thought experiment,” Twilight corrected him as she took the pot away, “You aren’t supposed to actually do one of those.”

Discord scoffed, “That’s what they think.”

“Is there a reason you teleported into the kitchen?” Shining cut in, while Cadence sat next to him watching events unfold with a barely concealed smirk.

“Well, I’ll have you know, I was aiming for my bedroom,” Discord replied, pausing before adding, “Or Twilight’s bedroom – either would be fine. ‘Cause you see, I’m stuck in Canterlot and I simply have nothing to wear. Which reminds me,” he turned to Twilight, “Can I borrow your tiara?”

“Sure,” Twilight replied with a shrug as she leaned back against a nearby counter, “There are a few dresses in the wardrobe you can borrow as well if you want – just none of the Rarity dresses please.”

“Oh, that would be perfect!” Discord rubbed his paws together in glee, “I’ll have to stop by Rarity’s for the stockings though… Or I could just dig my old maid outfit out again. That one always did great things for-”

“Okay, stop!” Shining suddenly cut in, gesturing with one hoof as he pressed the other to his forehead, “I don’t know what the hay you’re talking about and I don’t want to, just stop before I… yeah, nope – imagining that now. I’ll just be over here, wiping my memory of the last five minutes and – Cadence, its not funny!”

“Yes it is!” Cadence managed between gasping breathes as she rolled on the floor, “Oh, Shiny, the look on your face is...”

The two draconequi watched the married couple for a moment before Discord leaned toward Twilight and asked, “So… why are they here?”

“They were worried about me, is all,” Twilight replied, “My experiments for the last week or so have been pretty time-consuming and they’re worried I’m going to burn myself out.”

“Or up,” Discord said, “You are a draconequus now – you could make yourself spontaneously combust by mistake if you aren’t careful.”

“What!?” Twilight recoiled in shock, “I’m gonna explode!? I don’t wanna explode! How do I prevent it? Are there warning signs? What about-” She paused she noticed Discord’s grin, “...Oh you son of a-”

“Language, dear Twilight,” Discord gestured at Cadence, “We wouldn’t want to offend the princess, would we?”

Twilight snorted at that, “Who do you think taught me how to swear?”

“Honestly?” Discord replied, “Celestia. But really – you need to get out more. Go poke something in the Everfree. Go book shopping. Crash one of Fluttershy and Rarity’s spa dates – that always made me feel better.”

“I suppose,” Twilight said with a sigh, “I would be nice to have my partner back though,” she glanced at him, “Are you going to be back soon?”

Discord inspected one of his claws, “Can’t say – that Celestia is keeping her timetable close to her fluffy little chest. All she keeps telling me is that its critical I stay in Canterlot.”

Twilight frowned, “I’m sure that if you tell Celestia that I could use your help, she’d understand. I’m getting close, Discord, I can feel it – if she knew that...”

“She does, Twily,” Discord said as he glanced up from his claw, “But the Princess seems to think it's more important I stay in Canterlot for the moment.”

“And what do you think?” Twilight asked, her voice carefully neutral.

Discord shifted slightly, as across from them the married couple seemed to realize something was not quite right, “I think Celestia might have a point, loathe as I am to admit it. You have everything you need for your work, and Celestia needs me on this project-”

“Since when did that matter to you?” Twilight nearly shouted, finally getting Discord to look at her, “From any other pony, I’d take that but you’re… you! You don’t do Celestia favors. You don’t even like her that much. The only reason you started working with me in the first place was because you liked that I needed you!”

“And now you don’t need me,” Discord replied, eerily calm, “Now, Celestia is the one that needs me. You can see where this is going, can’t you?”

Twilight’s slumped, her head hanging low, “Does she really need you for her ‘research project’,” she asked, her voice low, “or are you just saying that because she can get you your memories back?”

Silence hung over the kitchen.

“How...” Discord finally said after a moment, “How did you know about that?”

“I didn’t,” Twilight replied, looking up and giving him a weak smile, “You just confirmed it for me. I had my suspicions though. So did Luna, after the festival. We just compared notes. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s not important,” Discord said as he looked away from her.

“Yes it is!” Twilight closed on him, “Why? You’ve helped me so much with my work, helping you with something like this would be the least I could do! You know that this is the sort of thing I’m good at! You know that I’d help you! So why didn’t you tell me?”

“You have enough on your plate, Twily,” Discord said, “As much as I love watching you run around trying to solve whatever problem I drop in your lap, this one is just too much for you.”

“But not for Celestia?” Twilight asked, unable to prevent the hint of hurt that colored her words.

“No, not for Celestia,” Discord turned to her, his expression stern, “You know that she’s old – you know better than anyone, but that's just a fact to you. You don’t understand it, you don’t comprehend it the way you don’t comprehend the size of the ocean or the sky. Celestia Sol Invictus was old and wise even before the founding of modern Equestria. She was spoken of in hushed tones of reverence by the Court of Princess Platinum and looked upon with awe by the Councils of Commander Hurricane. She lectured in the halls of Chancellor Puddinghead, studied alongside Clover the Clever herself. She was there when the last of the Windigos was chased from the land, she was there when I swept across the continent and twisted it to my will. She has seen more battles than you’ve had hot dinners and forgotten more names than you’ve had passing thoughts. She is an embodied force of nature with several millennium of experience behind her. She has seen things you wouldn’t believe. You, with a couple decades of life to your name, can’t match that – no matter how clever you are.”

“But why leave me and our work?” Twilight asked, almost pleading, “Celestia telling you some stories can’t take all of your time like this, can it? I still need you here, to finish this.”

Discord shook his head, “No you don’t – you just want me here because I banter better than the dragon or the wet blanket over there.” Flash made a noise of indignation, but neither of them paid it any attention.

“So I enjoy talking to you, fine!” Twilight said, “We’ve been working together on this for so long, cutting you out like this feels… wrong! So let me help you so we can keep working. Together.”

Discord stepped away from her, pacing across toward the other end of the kitchen, back to the rest of them, “That’s not how this works, Twilight. You decided to research Chaos magic, and it blew up in your face. In exchange for me helping you, I got a lot of laughs, the chance to use my powers how I want, and you telling me you needed my help. I had something you needed, and you had something I wanted. Celestia has my past. If all she wants for that is a monopoly on my time, so be it.”

Twilight studied him carefully for a moment before she said, “You’re hiding something, aren’t you? This isn’t like you Discord. What’s really going on?”

“What’s going on is that I have more important things now than watching you bumble around with powers beyond the mortal keen,” Discord replied sharply, “You know enough to not blow up yourself, the city, or the universe. You know enough to finish your research, so finish it and go back to being a pony – you’ll be happier that way.”

“For buck’s sake, Discord, stop being difficult and talk to me!” Twilight slammed one hind paw into the ground in frustration, “All I want is the truth!”

“The truth?” Discord regarded her with a raised eyebrow, “The truth is that you’re just like every other pony, no matter what you look like – you already had your opinion about me made up the moment you came to talk to me. You think, that because we’ve been working together and because we had a few close encounters, that you know me? Me, a being that can warp reality and has been alive so long I literally can’t remember everything? Really?”

“You aren’t some unfathomable god, Discord,” Twilight said, her glaring visage only marred by the slight trembles that ran through her, “No more than Celestia and Luna are. One of them is my teacher, and the other one is my friend. So, Tell. Me. The Truth.”

Discord sighed, “See, this is what I mean – you don’t care about the truth, you just want to hear what you want to hear. You want me to tell you something is up, but there isn’t. Celestia is old. I am old. She is the only one who can possibly tell me what I forgot, and that means I don’t have time for you any more. It's simple as that. I don’t need your help. I don’t want your help.” He turned and started out of the kitchen, drifting past Flash before stopping and glancing back at Twilight. She was trembling slightly now as she watched him, “So worked up; they’re my memories – why would you care?”

Twilight watched as he vanished through the doorway, listened to the idiosyncratic step falls as he drew further away until, finally, the tell-tale ‘pop’ of his strange teleportation sent a ripple through the threads of reality.

The kitchen was silent for several long moments, nobody present willing to be the first to speak. The only sound the soft thump of a draconequus sliding to the floor.

“Hey, Twilight, I finished cleaning up the cabbages and-” Spike skidded to a stop around the corner as he took in the mess of the kitchen, “...woah, what happened here?”

Twilight slumped, “...Discord dropped in.”

“Oh, really? Good,” Spike said with a nod as he set about picking up the kitchen, “He owes me a rematch and I want my copy of Power Ponies...” he paused as he noticed Cadence and Shining were still staring at Twilight, “Guys? What happened?”

“Discord already left, Spike,” Twilight replied flatly as she picked herself up from the floor, a quick spell setting the broom and dust pan in Spike’s claws moving on their own, “And I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“That bastard,” Shining growled as he started moving, “Nobody gets to talk to Twily like that! I’m gonna-”

“Shiny, no,” Twilight said as she grabbed him by the tail, “Just… no. Let him go. I asked for the truth. It’s not his fault that I don’t like it. I guess I just hoped that...” she shook her head, “Well, it doesn’t matter now. Let’s get this cleaned up,” Twilight started moving, levitating the remains of the coffee machine – it had gotten cracked in half at some point, it seemed – and fusing them back together as she turned to Spike, “You said you got all the cabbages taken care of? As long as we have intact samples, we should be able to generate some sort of results...”

Cadence laid a hoof on the dragonequus’ shoulder, “Twilight, are you sure you’re alright?”

“I will be,” Twilight replied, taking a deep breath, “I guess I’m just… I don’t know.”

“Disappointed?” Cadence suggested.

“Mayhaps,” Twilight replied with a shrug, and a weak smile, “After everything, I guess I had thought that things between us were more than just… business.”

“We can’t control others, Twilight,” Cadence tried to assure her, “All we can do is try and see what happens. That's what experiments are, right? Trying things and seeing what happens?”

“And some experiments fail,” Twilight concluded for her with a nod, “It still… Why wouldn’t he trust me now? After everything?”

“I don’t know Twilight, but you can’t make somebody care about you,” Cadence said, “All you can do is stop worrying about it and move on. Come on – let's get this kitchen cleaned up and get out of the castle for a while; you could use the air I think.

Twilight nodded and started sweeping up flower petals from the floor as others straightened out the chairs and counter. Despite Cadence’s words though, she couldn’t stop herself from staring out the way Discord had vanished as she asked herself softly, “Why wouldn’t I care?”

Author's Note

I'M NOT DEAD!!

Also - 5

Mighty Wings

“I don’t like this.”

“Oh?” Celestia looked up from her tea and across the table at Discord as the draconequus frowned at a cup of… she wasn’t sure, exactly, “I thought this pot turned out quite well, actually...”

“I’m not talking about the tea and you darn well know it sunshine,” Discord shot back as he slammed his cup down, making the castle staff milling about the garden around them jump – partly due to the sudden sound, partly due to it sounding less like teacup-on-saucer and more like cat-out-of-catapult, “Why in the name of me did you even send me back there, after what we discussed?”

Celestia spelled away the spot of tea Discord had spilled as she refilled her own cup, “I needed your notes; Twilight would realize my actual level of interest in her work if I asked her and she can become nervous when it comes to-” she was interrupted again, this time by a cloth-bound and heavily earmarked tome hitting the table, “-my perceived scrutiny.”

“Well you don’t have to worry about that,” Discord said in tone just short of a growl, “After yesterday she’ll be too busy trying to work out why I left.”

“You didn’t say anything compromising, did you?” Celestia asked, one eyebrow climbing slightly as she sipped her tea.

“Oh, don’t worry your Highness,” Discord said, emphasizing the last world, “All I told her was that we were done and I was working with you.”

“My student can be quite stubborn when she sets her mind to something,” Celestia said, “Are you certain she won’t be following after you?”

Discord stared down into his cup for a moment before sighing, “No,” he said as he drained the cup in one pull, “I think I burned that bridge quite well.”

“And if anyone could make that judgment, it would be you.”

Discord arched an eyebrow, “And what is that supposed to mean?”

Celestia calmly stirred a few cubes of sugar into her tea, “That few in my long memory were as skilled at destroying relationships like you were; if you say one of your own relations is over, then I have no reason to doubt you.”

“Few others, huh…?” Discord leaned back with a tired grin. He stared at Celestia for a moment before saying, “Then why send me?”

“As I said,” Celestia began, “I required-”

“No you didn’t,” Discord cut her off, “You know what Twilight’s working on – you’ve always known. You aren’t actually involved in the work, so its not like the details mattered. And even if it did, you don’t have to send me in – you have other ponies for that. Good little sycophants. But instead you send me, with strict orders not to tell your precious student what I was actually doing and to make sure I wasn’t followed on pain of eternal ignorance. Into a situation where you knew I would run into her. So why on Equis would you do that to your oh-so-precious ‘student’?”

The table was quiet for a long moment until Celestia spoke again, “It was for her own good. Her actions as of late have been… uncharacteristic of her. I needed to determine the cause of the matter before it was too late.”

“So that’s why you’ve stalled on me for the past week,” Discord said, “You want to keep me busy and away from Twilight until you can be sure I didn’t ruin her.”

“Exactly.”

Discord blinked owlishly at Celestia’s calm admittance. “Wait – you actually sabotaged Twilight’s research just because you wanted me away from here? You didn’t even care before!”

“Before, I thought Twilight had the matter in hoof,” Celestia replied, looking up from her tea and at the draconequus across from her, “I’ve always believed you could be more, Discord, if only you could get past your own nature. Fluttershy was able to convince you to restrain yourself, but with Twilight and her research, I was hoping you might learn the value in being… productive.”

“Ah – you weren’t expecting Twilight to start taking after me, were you?” Discord was grinning again as he toyed with his saucer, though it didn’t have its usual mirth behind it, “You know, Twilight’s parents are supposed to pull the ‘panties in a knot over the daughters boyfriend’ shtick, not immortal demi-goddesses.”

“One, you aren’t her boyfriend,” Celestia replied, “Two – this has nothing to do with her relationships and everything to do with her future. I may be unable to reform you but-”

“You see, that’s the problem,” Discord cut in again, and his grin widened slightly as he noticed it was finally getting to the princess, “You all think in the same way – that I’m dangerous. That something is wrong with me. Fluttershy just thinks its something I need to work out of my system – like a midnight craving for double-chocolate fudge cake. You and Lulu at least know better – that chaos is what I am. The difference between you two though, is that when the gloves come off you can’t help but think that Twilight isn’t up to it. Luna seems more confident in her, but having a mare rip a malignant persona from your psyche likely invites some level of confidence.”

Any reply Celestia was going to make was cut off as a guard ran toward the table, coming to a stop a few paces away and snapping off a salute before speaking, “Your highness! There has been an incident in the East Collections Hall!”

“What sort of incident?” Celestia asked as she rose from her seat.

“We...” the guard shuffled nervously, “...We aren’t sure; nothing our mages try does anything!”

Celestia turned to Discord with a questioning glance, “Hey, it wasn’t me!” He defended himself, before adding, “Well, at least not directly.”

The guard arched an eyebrow, “Directly?”

“Reality hasn’t been playing nice recently, remember?” Discord said with a shrug as he hopped out of his chair and cracked his neck, “Well, nothing for it I suppose – lead the way, Hank.”

The guard blinked, “My name is Bastion.”

“Yeah, sure whatever-” Discord waved dismissively, “Do you want me to un-buck your pile of trinkets or not?”

The guard turned to Celestia, who simply sighed, “Lead the way, Lieutenant.”

Discord fell into step just behind the guard, forcing Celestia to follow along a step behind and to the draconequus’ back. “So, tell me Hank,” Discord said as they were led through the halls, “What can you tell us about the incident?”

“The first reports of strange activity were at zero-six hundred this morning,” the guard replied, “some of the archivists were reporting that their quills were moving of what appeared to be their own volition.”

“You performed the standard spell-sweeps in response, I assume?” Celestia asked, very politely pushing past Discord.

“Yes ma’am,” the guard said with a nod, “None of the stored artifacts were active, and there were no active spellforms in the space that we could detect. Given the limited scope of the initial report, we assumed it was just wind and a paranoid researcher and returned to normal operations.”

“I’m guessing things went completely pear-shaped not long after?” Discord asked.

The guard stopped and turned to look at him, “How did you know?”

“Because, my little pony,” Discord replied, “Chaos always has a sense of comedic timing,” he waved a claw dismissively as the reached the end of a hall, “Twilight had a theory about cross-string vibrations and inverted probabilistic wave-forms, but the short of it is that there is a reason that you don’t tempt fate like that. So,” Discord leaned close to the stallion with a large, toothy grin, “What’s the damage?”

“W-well,” the guard said nervously as he back up a few paces, right into a large door, “Take a look for yourself.”

The door chose that moment to swing open without the guards help, a pair of unicorns rushing out past the trio and down the hall screaming. Celestia and Discord stared after them for a moment before Discord quipped, “You know, I expect this sort of thing in Ponyville, but I honestly thought you ran a tighter ship than this Sunshine.”

“You know, I am actually surprised this sort of situation doesn’t happen more often...” Celestia said absently before giving her head a barely noticeable shake and saying more loudly to Bastion, “Please, lead the way Lieutenant.”

Bastion nodded curtly before pulling the door open the entire way and, after taking a deep breath, stepping into the hall beyond. What followed was what sounded like a cross between an angry flock of birds and a herd of foals in a glass shop. Carefully, Discord stuck his head into the room and, on seeing what lay inside, paused, “...Huh. Wasn’t expecting that.”

Celestia carefully peered inside and couldn’t help but admit that Discord’s assessment was spot-on. All around the room, thousands of different objects in a hundred different shapes flew about on nearly as many different styles of wings. Crystalline, feathered, membranous, insectile, paper and more. “I wonder where all the keys came from though...”

“How many couches were in here?” Discord asked before clapping loudly, “Okay then! Princess, what you have here is what we refer to as a focused non-terminal repeating phantasmagoria, or a class five full roaming anomaly – and a real nasty one too,” Without any further preamble, Discord waded into the middle of the room and, as Celestia and the guard watched, the maelstrom of knickknacks flew around and past him, “But as stupid as they might be, they know a fellow piece of chaos when they see it.”

“I’ll say,” The guard said as he stepped forward, “That is one hay of a-” he was cut off as he tapestry wrapped around his head and turned him into a pile of flailing limbs until the Princess could help him free himself.

“Helps if you’re, you know, chaotic,” Discord pointed out before turning to the Princess, “You might be able to walk around without a problem though.”

Celestia shot a glare at him as she finished freeing her guard, “If you are attempting to imply something about me, Discord...”

“I am,” Discord replied, “But mostly just voicing a theory,” he gestured for her to come closer, “Come on – if I’m right, you’ll be fine.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow, “And if you’re wrong?”

“Then you’ll still be fine,” Discord replied, “I doubt a flying key is going to manage to hurt an alicorn.”

After a moment of hesitation, Celestia stepped forward into the hall. As she watched, the swarm of flying objects diverted around her, just like Discord said they would. She watched as a formation of quills glided past her head, “Fascinating. Though I imagine it’s not due to what you were implying before.”

Discord chuckled as he held out a claw, and a pair of keys alighted onto his talons, “Observant as always Sunshine – try touching one of them.”

Nodding, Celestia gently reached out with one hoof toward a nearby book that had landed on the floor just in front of her. As soon as she came within a hoof’s width of it though, the book gave a screech and shot off as fast as its parchment wings could carry it. “Water doesn’t care about more water,” Discord said as he stroked the back of the key still on his claw, “But it can douse a fire. Throw water on a powerful enough fire though, and it just turns to steam,” he gestured at the room around him, “This is a room full of chaos and you are the maintainer of the sun, the grand maintainer of order herself. Of course they’d be terrified of you.”

“But not terrified enough to leave my castle, it would seem.” Celestia said.

“Of course not,” Discord said back as he reached out with both arms, light beginning to coalesce around his claw and paw, “Anyhow – lecture time over. You want this cleaned up, yes? I could use a workout after this week.”

“Discord,” Celestia said in a warning tone as the guard stepped just slightly behind her, “If you are about to make anything blow up...”

“Blow up?” Bastion said from behind the princess, “I don’t wanna blow up!”

“...then I can assure you that we can work out another way to fix this.” Celestia finished as she shot the guard behind her a quick glance.

“Oh, come on,” Discord didn’t look up from his work as he replied, busy weaving the light together like some sort of complicated string trick, “If it means anything, I promise you that this spell does not explode...” there was a moment where the only sound was the flutter of flying objects and the soft ringing of magic, “...usually.”

“...I’m casting a containment ward,” Celestia said with a sigh as she began to charge the spell.

“Ixnay on the spell-bay!” Discord shouted as he stomped one cloven hoof into the ground. Instantly, a rubber ball bounced out of no-where to smack the princess in the horn, causing the alicorn to wince and her spell to dissipate, “I need absolute silence for this.”

Celestia gives a barely-audible annoyed huff but nonetheless complied with the request as she and her guard waited for Discord to finish his spell. After a few minutes, Discord spin around with a loud, “Ta-da!”

Celestia and the guard both stare at the strange object in Discord’s claw. It was a multi-faceted pentagonal crystal of translucent blue, a strange glowing emanating from inside it. “Behold, the Thing!”

“Okay,” the guard said hesitantly, “But… what is it?”

Discord stared back at him for a moment before letting out a dejected sigh, “Well, if you want to be technical,” Discord began to explain as he started tossing the crystal back and forth, “It’s an engram – wrapped up inside here is a very, very powerful spell based on some theoretical work Twilight and I had been working on...” he shot Celestia a quick glance, “...until recently.”

Celestia watched the engram carefully, “How powerful?”

“Well...” Discord hemmed and hawed for a time, rolling the glowing crystal across his shoulders before he said, “You’re familiar with First Impact, right?”

“The theoretical asteroid impact that brought the Windigo’s to Equestria,” Celestia replied, “of course.”

“Well, this,” Discord held the engram out, “Would cause Second Impact if mistreated.” Discord considered the crystal, setting it to spinning on the tip of his claw, “So – pretty much like any other black-level item I suppose.”

Despite his white coat, the guard managed to visibly pale, “Should you really be playing with it like that then?”

“Ah, good point,” Discord replied, tossing the engram into the air and catching it in his paw. He gave Celestia and the Guard a friendly, non-threatening smile before he casually tossed the sphere over his shoulder.

To Celestia’s credit, her initial response was nominally more productive then her guards. While he simply went bug-eyed, the princess attempted to catch the engram in a telekinetic spell…

...that simply bounced right off of it an instant before it crashed into the ground and shattered.

Both ponies present threw up shields as the spell contained in the engram exploded outwards and across the room with a whistling whoosh and a shower of sparks. Celestia braced for the inevitable catastrophic explosion…

...and waited…

...and waited…

“Where’s the kaboom?” the guard hesitantly asked, “There was supposed to be an equis-shattering kaboom.”

Carefully, Celestia lowered her shield as she braced herself for whatever was left of her Castle’s wing.

Suspended mid-air around the space hung a myriad flying forms, there wings frozen mid-flap. None of them moved, even as Discord nudged them out of the way as he walked past, sending them tumbling slowly, “Oh come on, like I’d shatter the planet while I was still on it,” Discord idly nudged a key until was on a collision course with a dictionary before adding, “And dear Fluttershy would also be upset with me, but mostly the former...”

Celestia took Discord’s momentary distraction to carefully recompose herself before striding into the room, “Most impressive Discord, but I do hope that this isn’t your entire solution – unless the anomaly is contained?”

“Not even remotely,” Discord replied with a toothy smile, “This was just the setup! Honestly, I can’t do anything with your junk drawer flitting about. No, my actual plan is...” he reached behind – and past, based on how much of his arm vanished – his back before pulling out a bizarre set of spectacles, sporting a series of colored lenses on small armatures, “...these babies. Sorta. Kinda. Not really. Trust me on this.”

Celestia arched an eyebrow, “I haven’t trusted you in a millennia and a half.”

“And yet I don’t remember that half bit,” Discord shot back as he donned the glasses, “So there you go! Now, where was I…?” Discord glanced around the room before giving a small nod, “Ah, yes – now, let’s see...” he reached up and tilted all of the lenses out, and as he did so, the entire hall space filled with what Celestia could only describe as a labyrinth of strings in every form and color imaginable, stretching from and between seemingly everything. Thin blue-ish strings interlinked the numerous airborne objects, while thicker threads stretched down from them to the ground at odd angles. Other lines seemed to lead from one object to the next with no apparent pattern, varying in color and pattern. Some trailed out like tendrils, coiled mid-air or draped out like tails, “Behold – the inside of my head!”

“Faust I hope not,” Celestia murmured before she could catch herself. She quickly said more loudly, “What sort of spell is this?”

“It’s a sort of sensory projection,” Discord said, waving around him, “This is a fairly close approximation of how Twilight and I, at least partially, perceive chaos.”

“So, then,” Celestia began to ask as she peered closely at one the the strings that seemed to coil across several objects before terminating at her hoof, “These strings are…?”

“Relationships,” Discord replied, “Lines of interaction or potential interaction. Twilight could explain it better,” he waved his claw vaguely, “Something about acasual systems and vibrational resonances… anyhow. This is everything – a little much for us. What we need is...” he slowly lowered two of the lenses into place, “This.”

When the lenses slipped into place, a vast number of the strings vanished, leaving only a webway of purple etheral yarn. “These,” Discord said, “Are… well, I forget what Twilight called them. Something about non-symmetric First-order gauge tensors or some-such. But they should indicate the flow of chaos.”

“Fascinating,” Celestia found herself studying one the lines more closely, “If we could equip our guards with these...”

“It wouldn’t work,” Discord finished for her, “Since, one, you need to use chaos magic to make them work in the first place, meaning you need a draconequus on hoof. And two, what the hay would your guards do once they did find a nexus of chaotic energy? Other then get the organs alphabetized and-or turned into citrus fruit.”

“...Citrus fruit?” Bastion said nervously.

“So, you’re stuck calling me.” Discord finished, “Who ya’ gonna call? Now – if we keep following the lines back... and back… and back...” Discord slowly traced the lines across the room, around a set of wrought iron and glass shelves and under a massive wooden table. More lines joined into the main trunk until it reached column and wound its way up until burying itself inside a dark corner near the ceiling, “...and there we are!”

“Excellent,” Celestia said with a relieved sigh, “Now, would you kindly remove it?”

“Can’t.”

Celestia blinked, “Pardon?”

“I can’t,” Discord repeated, “Well, I can – but not like that. I mean, I’m assuming you still want the castle and stuff intact so… yeah.”

Celestia stared up at the corner before bringing her hoof to her face with a groan, “Okay then, Discord – what do you need to remove it?”

“Hrmm...” Discord mulled it over for a moment, “… chalk, salt, a compass, a small knife, a bowl, a loaf of bread, some honey, and a black canvas duster. I’d just summon them, but...” he gestured at the corner, “...you know.”

Celestia let out another sigh before turning to the guard, “Lieutenant Bastion, did you get all that?”

“Yes, your Highness,” the guard replied, “But it may take some time to find everything...”

“Discord, how stable is this anomaly?” Celestia asked.

“Quite,” Discord assured her, “Especially because I stopped time for it. So, no rush.”

“Very well,” Celestia turned back to her guard, “Lieutenant.”

“Your Highness,” Bastion gave her a sharp salute before turning and marching out of the room at a somewhat faster then professional speed.

Discord and Celestia watched him go until, as his last steps faded away, Discord gave a relieved sigh, “Finally – took him long enough. Your guards have annoyingly sharp senses, you know that?”

“Wait, what?” Celestia blinked in surprise as Discord snaked his way up the column and began prodding at the anomaly. Despite appearing to just be shadows, whenever Discord poked at it his claw bounced off as if he had prodded at a large ball of rubber, “Discord, did you just send my Guard to collect a bunch of useless items?”

“Of course not!” Discord said, turning to look at her in shock, “All of those things are very useful,” He shrugged as he turned back to the anomaly, “Just not, you know, with this particular problem.”

“...You needed him gone, didn’t you?” Celestia stated flatly. It wasn’t really a question.

“Can’t go accidentally melting his brain when I start debugging n-dimentional cross-weaves...” Discord replied as he unwrapped himself from the column and strode across the top of the nearest set of shelves, “Luckily for you, alicorn minds are made of sterner stuff.”

“Given I have never been directly exposed to chaos magic in such a matter,” Celestia said as she watched, “How would you know that?”

“Because Twilight’s adorable little head didn’t explode when she ended up accidentally upgrading herself,” Discord replied as he adjusted the glasses, “Now, prepare yourself – I’m removing the limiters,” Celestia took a steadying breath and gave him a sharp nod, “Okay – release restraint level...one.”

One of the lenses slid up and suddenly the whole world… tilted. That was the only way Celestia could describe it despite the fact that nothing in the room had really changed. It was the same length, width, height, color, lighting level, angle… yet, something was still off. As if the room was somehow more than before. “What...did you just do?”

“I partially shifted the room into phase with… whatever the space this thinks its supposed to be in. “ Discord said as he waved vaguely at the corner. Now, when Celestia looked at it, she could see something beyond the shadow – or, rather, between it. What it was, she truly had no idea. Discord seemed unfazed by it, whatever it was, “Okay then – let’s see what we’ve got to work with.” Without further preamble, he shoved his claw through the not-gap up to his elbow, “There’s got to be a fulcrum release lever somewhere...ah,” his arm twisted around, “Right side.”

There was a loud, thundering thunk as suddenly the threads around the room were sucked back into the corner with a rolling rumble until the room was string-free.

“And there we have it!” Discord said as he hopped back down to the floor, landing before Celestia with a flourish and a bow, “All fixed and ready for-” he paused as he looked around the room, “-Almost forgot,” he tapped his hoof three times and the spell-freeze spell instantly dissipated, causing every object previously frozen mid-flight to fall to the ground in a cacophony of crashes.

“Your highness, I’ve found all the items requested by-” Bastion paused as he stepped into the hall, looking up from an over-stuffed saddlebag and around the room, “...Oh. Did I miss it?”

“Yes you did, my boy!” Discord replied cheerfully, “Don’t fret though – I’m sure there will be an encore at some point, given the way things are going.”

“That’s not reassuring,” the guard replied.

Discord arched an eyebrow, “Was it supposed to be?”

The guard mulled that statement over for a minute or two before informing the Princess that he was going to return the borrowed items and then saluted, turned and walked out. Celestia watched him go for a moment before turning to Discord with a questioning look, “Are you trying to drive my staff mad?”

“Yes, yes I am,” Discord replied as he skated around the clutter on the floor and to the door, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m done here.”

“I suppose you are,” Celestia replied as she took in the mess before her, “I’ll inform the maid staff to tidy up here and then we can-”

“You can do whatever you like,” Discord replied, cutting her off as he lazily slid past her, “I’m leaving.”

“Leaving?” Celestia echoed in surprise as she spun around, “Leaving to where?”

“Dunno – maybe the Badlands. Probably Ponyville,” Discord said with a shrug as he did a quick twirl and dipped into a bow, “Either would be more productive then cooling my heels here, so I bid you adieu.”

Celestia’s brow furrowed as she reluctantly followed a few paces behind the draconequus, “You still haven’t learned anything about your past though.”

“And you still aren’t sharing,” Discord replied, “So what’s a draconequus to do? Not like I’m going to let you stall forever. Would rather do something interesting then sit around being bored.”

“There’s places you might not be bored,” Celestia replied almost conversationally after a moment, “But the truth is you’re probably safer on the move – and my agents never stop moving,” Discord paused mid-ski and glanced toward the Princess.

“I'm confused,” Discord said, squinting at the stoic-faced princess, “No wait, I think maybe you're confused.”

“Maybe it has become apparent to you that the kingdom could use an expert in… unusual matters,” Celestia continued, “You aren’t malicious – I’m not sure how reliable you are, all things considered, but you aren’t malicious and that isn’t nothing. You work by my rules, keep yourself from doing anything crazy,” Celestia stated calmly as she met Discord’s gaze, “and you might be able to find your answers here.”

Discord leaned back as he tapped at his chin, “I’m trying to put this as delicately as I can – Was there something in your tea or did you just get a good look at what I did back there?”

“I can assure you that I am not mentally impaired,” Celestia assured him, “I can offer you challenges, the opportunity to put your powers to use and the chance to rediscover everything you’ve forgotten.”

“But only if I play by your rules.” Discord added.

“The only reason you are free now was by my edict, Discord,” Celestia reminded him, “I’m sure you realize that I could contain you if I could. I don’t because it wouldn’t be...”

“Tasteful?” Discord suggested.

“Nice,” Celestia finished, “I want to help you, Discord, the same that I want to help any of my subjects.”

“Well, Sunshine,” Discord paced around Celestia as he summoned a fedora and donned it, “It sounds like a nice offer – very nice. Too nice, in fact,” he twisted around her until his face was a hairs breadth from hers, “What’s the catch?”

“You would never work with Twilight Sparkle again,” Celestia stated flatly, “I could try to justify it to you in a dozen ways, but the simple truth is that I just don’t trust you.”

“Yet you want to give me a job,” Discord said as he took a few paces back, “And to trust me with dealing with unnatural disasters – what? You planning on foalsitting me all the time? Giving me a nanny?”

“You will be tracked, but otherwise? No,” Celestia replied, “You would be free to do whatever you like within reason and granted full rights the same as any of my other agents – full archive access, quarters in the castle or a living stipend...”

“But I could never talk to Twilight again.” Discord reiterated.

“You could never work with her again,” Celestia corrected him, “Seeing her would be unavoidable given your close ties with Fluttershy, but before her accident the two of you barely interacted. Returning to such an arrangement shouldn’t be problematic nor would it be unsustainable.”

“And why should I take this offer, hmm?” Discord asked, “What’s to stop me from just, say, heading back to Twilight, telling her what a manipulative ball of flaming indigestion you’ve been and getting her to help me with the research – since, lets be honest, that’s the only part of your package I’m even remotely interested in.”

Celestia arched an eyebrow, “What makes you think Twilight would have access to the relevant records?”

“What? You going to hide them from her?” Discord asked, “Hide books? From Twilight Sparkle? Tia, I didn’t know you had a sense of humor.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t hide them,” Celestia replied with a shrug, “I don’t have to – What you’re after isn’t written down in a book or scroll,” Celestia lightly tapped the side of her head with a hoof, “It’s in here. Everything you want to know is in here,” She lowered her hoof and began walking toward Discord, “and all you need to do to get to it...” she stopped as she reached the draconequus, looking up at him a she laid a hoof on his chest, “Is make me trust you.”

Discord snorted and turned away, “Unlikely.”

“More likely then you think,” Celestia replied as she lowered her own gaze, her eyes slipping close for a moment, “I would like to trust you, truly – but I can’t yet. Not in good conscience. No matter how much...” the Princess trailed off before stepping back and looking up at Discord, stoic once again, “I am not the villain here, no matter what you think.”

“Of course not,” Discord said with a scoff, “I am – this is my redemption arc after all.”

Celestia rolled her eyes before she strolled past him, “Please at least consider my offer, Discord,” the draconequus gave a derisive snort but the princess ignored it as she continued past him. As she reached the corner though, she turned back to him and asked, “If this is your redemption arc though, why won’t you let me save you?”

Discord blinked owlishly at that as Celestia vanished around the corner and he found that, even as he mulled it over, he couldn’t think of a good reply.

Way of the World

“Twi? You in there?”

“Hold on!” Twilight shouts back at the castle’s front door before glancing around her current workspace. Stacks of books and papers occupy most of the floor space, all material kept within claws reach of her current project. Nearby, a map of chaos events was posted, the red and blue pins indicating the events making out a lazy spiral centered on the Everfree forest. What was lacking, however, was a clear route out of the room. When had that happened?

After a moment of consideration, Twilight decided to just sidestep the problem – and reality. Squinting in concentration, she reached out with both claws like she was framing a picture – and then she brought them closer. In response, the room shifted, two piles of material becoming one and a half and leaving her just a few steps from the door, “Aha!” she said triumphantly to nopony in particular as she pulled open the door, “I reject your reality and-”

Her celebration was cut off by a loud ‘woomph’ behind her as reality re-imposed itself and decided that the most expedient way to un-merge her piles was to simply send everything everywhere, “...horseapples,” Twilight muttered to herself as she closed the door behind her and started down the hall. As she reached the main entry way, Flash and Spike trotted in from the opposite hall, laden with boxes of papers and equipment, “Did we have any guests on the schedule Spike?”

“Twi, you haven’t had any appointments in days,” Spike replied with a look, “Maybe its not for you?”

At that, both of them turned to glance at the pegasus, who blinked owlishly, “Hey, don’t look at me – I just work here!”

With a sigh, Twilight continued on toward the door, “Its probably just one of the girls stopping by to see if I’m free.”

“Which you are, technically.” Spike pointed out as he fell into step behind the purple draconequus, “The mapping work can wait a day you know.”

“I have other projects going at the moment,” Twilight replied, and even to her own ears it sounded lame. Luckily for her ego Spike didn’t get a chance to say anything more as she finally reached the front door and pulled it open.

“Sup Twi?” Rainbow Dash greeted her with a relaxed wave, “Not like you to lock the front door these days...”

“I didn’t want to risk anypony wandering into something dangerous, given what I’ve been working on recently,” Twilight explained, “What’s up?”

“You’ve been in there all week, Twi,” the blue pegasus said without further preamble, “I know your work is important but come on!”

“That’s what I said!” Spike interjected.

“And like I told Spike,” Twilight shot the dragon a quick glance before continuing, “I have multiple projects at the moment and some of them are… time sensitive.”

“So sensitive that you can’t spare time for family?” Twilight blinked at the familiar voice before leaning out the door and peering around the corner to see Cadence and her brother standing just out of view near the bottom of the steps.

She narrowed her eyes at them, “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

Cadence blinked, “Did what?”

Twilight sighed as she pulled the door open and beckoned them inside, “Since I doubt you’re all going to just go away, we might as well do inside.”

“Do you really want us to go away that badly, Twily?” Shining Armor asked as they followed her down the hall, “Rainbow Dash called us because she was worried – and after what she told us, so are we, given last week.”

Twilight glanced back at her blue feathered friend, who just looked a hair sheepish. A few steps behind her, Cadence was busy talking with a very nervous Flash Sentry, “Sorry Twi,” Rainbow Dash said, “But me and the girls were just worried.”

“It’s fine, Rainbow, really,” Twilight replied to her friend as she pulled open the door to the room and stepped in, “It’s not like I’ve really explained what I’ve been doing anyway.”

“You’re trying to keep reality from accidentally imploding itself,” Shining replied with a chuckle, “I know Discord leaving for Canterlot was… problematic for you. You managing to keep up with things solo?”

“Spike and Flash have been a great help in that regard, speaking of which,” Twilight replied before she glanced back at the orange pegasus guard, “Flash – is the south library fit for visitors?”

“Spike and I just finished cleaning up the last experiment, ma’am,” Flash replied with a self-confident smile, “Spike finished replacing the floor tiling this morning.”

That got Twilight glances from Rainbow, Shining and Cadence, “We were, um, testing the properties of an arcade ball we recovered from the festival. Turns out that it had a gained a quasi-negative inertial mass so after we performed the initial inquiry it began exponentially accelerating.”

“Could you, uh, say that again, but with small words, sis?” Shining Armor said, chuckling nervously.

“We poked it and it started bouncing around the room at ludicrous speed,” Spike replied helpfully from her side, thinking for a moment before adding, “You know it would have actually been really cool it it wasn’t trying to kill us.”

“That does sound pretty cool,” Shining said with a nod, “So – how did you stop it?”

“Pause button.” Twilight replied simply.

Rainbow blinked, “Come again?”

“I created an isolated bubble of frozen time around the ball and then negated the balls momentum to zero.” Twilight said, elaborating.

“You know,” Rainbow Dash said after a moment with a smirk, “Its actually kind of cute that she still thinks those sorts of explanations make sense to anypony else.”

“I can still cancel your Daring Do pre-order, you know,” Twilight shot back before continuing, “Simple version? I froze time for the ball and then shoved it in a shoe box.”

“Oh, that makes more-” Shining paused, “wait, A shoe box?”

“It has a lid,” Twilight replied as they finally reached the south library, the doors opening with a dramatic groan, “Now, Spike, would you kindly prepare a pot of tea while I answer any questions our guests might have about-”

Everypony, dragon and draconequus paused as they took in the scene before them, “...Flash?” Twilight asked in a level tone.

Flash Sentry gulped nervously, “Yes, ma’am?”

“How long ago did you say you had finished in here?” Twilight asked.

“About five minutes ago, ma’am,” Flash replied, “Maybe ten.”

“Five to ten minutes, okay,” Twilight said with a nod, “So – where did all the animals come from?”

Staring back at them was a wide variety of animals in various shapes and sizes. Birds lined the top of the stacks, while the tables and chairs were covered by bears, cats, ferrets, rabbits… basically, anything Twilight had ever seen living at Fluttershy’s cottage. “Well,” Spike said as he looked around, “This is interesting – chaos magic?”

“Chaos magic.” Twilight said with a nod, “and – oh, there’s Harry. Hello Harry!” The bear waved back from one of the tables, a book held daintily in one paw, “Would you mind asking him if he knows anything while I poke around, Spike?”

“On it,” Spike gave a languid wave as he plodded over to the bear.

Twilight glanced around the room before turning her attention skyward, “Flash, do you mind getting us an overhead view?”

“Aye, ma’am,” the pegasus gave a sharp salute before leaping into the air, climbing high into the library’s atrium.

“That leaves me and...” Twilight began patting herself down, “oh, wear did I put it…?”

“Um, Twilight, dear,” Cadence said as she watched Twilight search herself, “You do realize that you aren’t wearing anything with pockets, right?”

“You’d be surprised at how irrelevant that sort of detail is to my life these days,” Twilight replied, “Pocket dimensions are hard to explain without a chart and – aha!” she finally stopped searching as she pulled a blocky device that looked like a cross between a radio and a television monitor from… somewhere, “I designed this after the festival to help locate anomalies more rapidly.”

“Yes, but you just… from...” Shining said as he tried to work out what he’d just witnessed, “...Oh dear, I think I’ve gone cross-eyed.”

“First rule of chaos magic, Shiny,” Twilight said with a smirk as she started to sweep the room, “’It’s just magic, you really should just relax.’,”

Shining smirked, “Somehow I doubt you actually follow that rule, sis.”

“No, I do not,” Twilight replied, “And it got me looking like this-” she gestured at herself with the meter, causing it to briefly click wildly, “- though in your case, trying that would probably just make you blow up.”

“Wait, what?”

“Well, that was what Discord said on out first day,” Twilight said with a shrug, “Something about an energy field larger then my head or some such,” she turned toward the other end of the ro0m, “Spike! Any luck?”

“Harry says he just woke up here a few minutes ago,” Spike replied as he rounded a corner, “Figured he’d catch up on some reading since he was here.”

“I think I have something!” Flash interrupted as he swooped down and landed in front of them, “There’s a spot about four rows out toward the east wall with all of the stacks knocked over like dominos. Big scorched spot in the center.”

“And the animals?” Twilight asked.

“Uh… real?” Flash replied, “One of the birds tried to peck my eye out after I almost landed on their nest by mistake.”

“Wait, nest?” Shining raised an eyebrow at that, “How long have they been here?”

“I dunno, sir,” Flash replied, “despite the feather’s I don’t speak bird.”

“Interesting...” Twilight mused, “If they were constructs that would explain the nests, but according to Discord chaotically generated constructs either need a controller or simply loop very basic behaviors. Being summoned would explain the behavior, but why would they all be so calm? It should be pandemonium in here… spacial transposition mayhaps? But I should have felt that sort of event...”

“Um, ma’am?” Flash Sentry interrupted her musing, “Would you like to see the, um… epicenter? That’s the word, right?”

“Oh, um – yes, it is,” Twilight said with a nod, “and yes – please lead the way.”

The route to the event’s origin point ended up taking a bit longer then expected on account of a combination of false-turns, toppling book stacks and having to go around a sleeping timberwolf, “Gah, this is taking forever,” Shining groused after another dead-end, “Sis, can’t you just teleport us?”

Twilight considered it for a moment, “Well, I could – but do you like your skin being on the outside?”

Shining blinked, “...yes?”

“Then I probably shouldn’t teleport us – if there’s still an anomaly nearby it could destabilize the spell mid-transfer,” Twilight explained before adding cheerfully, “Oh! You might want to be careful about spells in general until we confirm what’s going on – at least anything beyond basic telekinesis.”

“...okay.” Shining said as he nodded nervously, “Um… walking is still safe though?”

“At least for the moment, yes,” Twilight replied, “I should be able to tell if anything ahead… is…” she trailed off as she peered around in confusion, “...does anybody else here singing?”

Flash pricked up an ear, “...yeah I can hear it too; off to the left? Sounds kinda of familiar too...”

Twilight started down the aisle to the left with a cheerful grin, “Lets go take a look then!”

“Wait, Twilight! Slow down!” Rainbow Dash yelled after her, “You just finished telling us about chaos things and – argh! Stupid crazy egghead...”

“So, wait – she isn’t always like this?” Flash asked as they followed behind her at a more sedate pace, “I just figured the, uh… eccentricity was a smart pony thing.”

“Eccentric? Sure,” Rainbow replied, “Impulsive? That’s new...” she paused, “...at least, I think it’s new… oh, hey,” Dash suddenly perked up, “I know that singing,” she continued, more loudly, “Hey, Shy! Know anything I can dance too!”

The singing suddenly cut out, and Twilight let out a groan, “Great, Dash – now we’ll never find her.”

Rainbow Dash grinned, “Wait for it...”

Flash arched an eyebrow, “Wait for what?”

“Oh, um, hello?” everyone turned as the pink and yellow pegasus stepped out from behind a nearby stack, much to the surprise of Princess Cadence, given Fluttershy had appeared about four steps behind her, “Thank goodness I found you, Twilight – I’m, um, actually not sure how I got here...”

“Just take it from the top, Fluttershy,” Twilight said as she stepped closer, “What do you remember?”

“Well,” Fluttershy began, half-hidden behind her pink mane, “I was just stepping out of my door to feed all my animals like always when I suddenly walked into a bookcase. Which was strange because I don’t remember putting a bookcase outside my cottage. But when I turned around my door was gone – all that was there was another bookcase!”

Shining tapped at his chin, “That’s…. really, really weird – any ideas sis?”

“Some sort of mono-directional temporal rift, perhaps,” Twilight suggested, “Or maybe the effect had the concept of unnoticed?”

“Wait, these chaos anomalies can just have… concepts like that?” Flash asked, “Just like that?”

“More or less,” Twilight turned to Fluttershy, “Would you mind getting all of these critters home while we make sure that whatever this is isn’t going to transport the town to the moon or something?”

“Oh, no problem Twilight,” Fluttershy said with a nod, “Most of them are supposed to be at home anyway...” At that point, a bluejay landed on the tip of Fluttershy’s snout, “Mister Tweeter! What are you doing – oh, your wife?” she glanced up from the bird to Twilight, “I’m sorry Twilight, but I need to take care of this – that is, if you don’t mind...”

“Go ahead,” Twilight said with a chuckle, “We have our own problems to deal with,”

“Be careful Twilight,” the yellow pegasus said as she turned and headed down another aisle, deep in conversation with the blue-jay.

“Well, she took that in stride,” Shining commented as he watched her leave.

Rainbow Dash scoffed, “Are you kidding? In Ponyville this is barely a five on the weird-day-o-meter.”

“Speaking of a weird day,” Flash cut in, “The epicenter is just around the corner.”

“Excellent!” Twilight said with a grin as she followed Flash Sentry into the space. As she took a look around, she grimaced, “Looks like you’re going to have to replace the tiling again, Spike.”

“Figured as much,” Spike replied as he began to poke around at the edges while Twilight made her way to the center, “Doesn’t look like any of the books were damaged though – that’s some good news.”

“My dear Spike, that is the best news,” Twilight replied as she swept the room with the scanner, “And some bad news to go with it – the anomaly is still here.”

Shining Armor froze mid-step, standing as still as a statue until Cadence gave him light bop to the head, “Oh, grow up.”

“Excuse me for not wanting to lose all of my skin!” Shining exclaimed.

“Oh, don’t worry Shiny, you wouldn’t lose it,” Twilight assured him as she continued sweeping with the scanner as she moved closer to the center, “I doubt your dermis would fly very far; it would probably stay in visual range even.”

“Not helping!”

“What?” Twilight glanced up from her device, “I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was saying and- ouph!” She was cut off as she suddenly ran into a wall of… nothing. Twilight blinked, “...What the buck?” Carefully, she reached out with one claw until it bumped into something that felt and – when she tapped on it, sounded – like glass. She carefully blew a breath at the barrier, and it seemed to go right through it. A moment to make a paper airplane and it passed forward with a toss… only to suddenly crash like it was made of lead once it reached the center, “...okay, so we have a barrier that stops me but not paper, and gravity is apparently really messed up in the middle...” she glanced back, “Hey, Flash! I need you to poke something!”

A moment of silence before the reply came back, “...Is this going to hurt?”

Twilight considered it, “Probably not.”

“...Oh, what the hay,” Flash trotted down the aisle toward her, “So what do you want me to- ouch!” he recoiled back, rubbing at his nose, “The buck did I just walk into?”

“What I wanted you to check,” Twilight replied, “Thank you for your time.”

“So, what’s the verdict?” Flash asked as he studied the scene, “Are we all doomed?”

“Probably not,” Twilight said back, “Could you tell everyone to not look this way until I say so, and tell me when everyone is turned around?”

“Sure,” Flash said with a shrug, “Why?”

“Because I don’t want to accidentally fry anypony’s brain if I accidentally rip a hole in reality.”

“...okay, fair enough. Give me five minutes,” Flash replied before walking away. As he went, Twilight took a deep breath and focused. With surprising ease, the strings that tugged at the world faded into view, and she could see that inside the circle every single thread was pulled taunt, converging at a single point at about Shining’s eye height. Probingly, she reached out again and watched as a loop of thread suddenly expanded out from that infinitesimally small center point and deflected her touch away before retracting again, “...huh, that’s a new one.” Twilight mused.

“All clear, Ma’am!” Flash’s shout carried over.

“Okay! Just hold on!” Twilight shouted back before turning her attention to the center point. Now she just needed to find a thread that actually reached her position. Sadly, none of them seemed to reach that far. The only one that had come out far enough had been the shield effect from before… “Oh, that could work.” Idea in mind, Twilight raised her claws until they were just above the ‘surface’. With a deep breath, she pressed both hands into the barrier. On cue, a flurry of threads jumped out at her claws. The moment they reached her, she extended her own effort toward them, entangling them and preventing them from retreating. She still couldn’t press forward, but that wasn’t her plan.

Slowly, laboriously, she pulled back until the bundle of threads was just far enough forward that she could wrap her claws around them, “Gotcha,” Twilight said with a smirk as she channeled another burst of her own magic into the threads and down toward the center point.

As soon as the pulse of energy reached it, there was a ear-piercing screech like nails on a chalkboard before the convergence point imploded with the sounds of shattering glass. Twilight staggered a few steps, suddenly aware of how heavy her breathing was, before shouting, “Okay – all clear!”

She glanced back to see everypony turning to look in her direction, “So… It’s gone?” Rainbow asked.

“It’s gone,” Twilight confirmed for her, before glancing around the library – or, rather, what was left of it, “But, uh… I think we’re going to have to go somewhere else.”

“Wherever is convenient is fine, Twilight,” Shining assured her, “Though to be honest I’m curious to see what you’ve actually been doing lately...”

“Research, mostly,” as she started out of the library and back toward the main hall, “Though with the library like that it’s going to be a little more difficult…”

“At least Fluttershy got all the animals out,” Spike pointed out, “...though maybe I should make sure they got out of the castle alright.”

“Good idea, Spike,” Twilight replied, as they started down the hall, “We’ll probably be in one of the labs when you’re done. Do you mind grabbing a tea tray on your way back?”

“No problem,” Spike said as he started toward the front of the castle while Twilight led them further in.

“So, this is the sort of thing you usually deal with these days?” Cadence asked as she followed behind her fellow princess, “This is what’s keeping you inside so much?”

“Only partially,” Twilight admitted, “Most of what I do research work; sort of hard to explain without showing it to you.”

“That might help us out some- woah.” Rainbow’s sudden surprise brought Twilight up short, and when she followed the pegasus’s gaze she figured out why. She’d accidentally led them back to her project room. Stupid autopilot, “...Twi,” Rainbow said after a moment, “Why do you have a conspiracy board about Princess Celestia?”

She supposed that was what interpretation of her current project, Twilight mused. A timeline ran down one side of a large pin board, a map of the greater Canterlot area – including Ponville and a good chunk of the Everfree – taking up most of the other. In between and around them were notecards, articles, papers, sticky notes and pictures of various sorts. Connecting all of them were a wide variety of yarn to create a dizzying web of colors. “Because,” Twilight said as she sat herself down in front of it, “I can’t figure out why.”

“Why what?” Shining Armor asked as Spike arrived with tea.

“Why he went,” Twilight replied, face scrunched up in vexation, “Or why she did it. There was no warning, no preamble, no signs of discontent. The work was good, the scenery changed, and I let him use chaos magic. On top of that, she was fine with all of this at the start. So what changed? Was it something I did? Something she uncovered? Something he did…?”

“Um, just to be clear,” Flash said, speaking up nervously from behind everyone else, “We’re talking about Princess Celestia and Discord, right?”

“Yes!” Twilight spun around, “Everything was fine up until the festival, and suddenly Discord is working with Celestia. Why?”

“He’s trying to get his memories back,” Everyone but Twilight turned to stare at the dragon after he said that, to which Spike just stared back, “What? Apparently he’s missing a big chunk of his memories or something – he asked me to dig up books that might be able to tell him something a while back.”

“I figured as much,” Twilight replied as she continued to stare at the board, “And he basically confirmed it last week but...” she paused before turning to the dragon, eyes narrowed, “He asked you? When?”

Spike shifted nervously, “Back around the start of the festival? ”

“You and I are having a talk later, mister,” Twilight gave him one final stern glare before turning back to the chart, “That explains how, but not why. Why drag him away when she knows how much he helps me with my work?”

“Maybe Celestia is just worried about you,” Shining suggested, “I mean, I know I am – you’re practically living with something that’s taken over Equestria twice! - so her being worried isn’t much of a stretch.”

“But that’s what I don’t get!” Twilight held her head in frustration, “If Discord and I had been fighting this whole time, or if we’d been causing accidents, or anything like that then I would understand. But its been the opposite – him and I have been getting along like a-” Twilight paused, “Oh. OH.”

Shining raised an eyebrow, “Oh?”

“When… when this whole thing started,” Twilight asked carefully, “Who would you figure would be in charge?”

Shining frowned, “You, obviously.”

“So, what would you think if I started acting more…” Twilight waved a claw vaguely, “Draconequus-y?”

“I would think that...” Shining blinked, “If I didn’t know better, I would think that Discord was influencing you somehow… But shouldn’t Celestia know better?”

“Maybe she thinks me being like this makes me vulnerable,” Twilight replied with a frown as she turned to the board and started re-arranging some of the strings, “But… his memories? As leverage? Would she really…?”

“Ponies do strange things in the name of love,” Cadence said, finally speaking up, “It can make us take chances would wouldn’t consider otherwise.”

“But blackmailing a Lord of Chaos?” Shining said, incredulity tinting his voice, “That seems like a little much!”

“Even if that is all true, it still leaves the question of Discord,” Twilight said as she traced out the web of yarn, “As valuable as those memories might be, Discord values his agency even more…” she frowned, “or, at least, I thought he did.”

“Twilight, he’s Discord,” Shining pointed out, “He’s literally chaos. He isn’t supposed to make sense.”

Twilight chuckled, “You know, I used to think that too? Heaven’s know he was random enough to fit that image, but,” Twilight shook her head, “Do you know what chaos – actual, proper chaos – actually is? It’s noise. Just random white noise. The sort of thing you can tune out and ignore. Discord is the opposite of that – he’s anything and everything that’s ever made a plan go sideways. His actions are designed to force a response - any response, as long as its not normal. Normal is boring. The same thing, day after day, is boring. He doesn’t do boring. And just going off with Celestia… just like that… is pretty boring,” the small smile Twilight had been wearing for the last minute faded, “He’s playing at something. He has to be.”

“And what if he’s not?” Cadence asked as she stepped closer, “What if he just decided Celestia could offer him a better deal?”

“Then I’ll drag him back here myself,” Twilight replied sharply, an edge of steel slipping into her voice, “We had a deal! He helps me with chaos magic, I help him actually get the chance to use said magic without getting petrified again. And it wasn’t like he didn’t enjoy the work either!” at this point, Twilight was pacing, “He was almost as invested as I was – you know, I don’t think he’d ever considered turning a critical eye to his own capabilities? Depended entirely on instinct. Though, to be fair, for somebody like him those are probably some really good instincts. But we managed to work out phase-shift realignment! And he got to fight a giant angry bird thing, and an evil tree – though I guess the tree might be more of a minus since he sort of got beat black and blue by it. But my point remains! We had an excellent working relationship going – he had to have known I’d help him with something as mundane as research. But did he ask? No! He just runs off in the middle of our research and… argh!”

Cadence just smiled softly, “Are you done?”

Twilight stopped and blinked, “Wait, how much of that was out loud?”

“All of it,” Cadence replied helpfully, “You started with something about him not getting petrified...”

Twilight buried her face in her claws as she sat down with a groan, “You know what? Nevermind. Just… leave me here, barricade the doors shut and let me spend the next century or two pretending that didn’t just happen.”

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Cadence wrapped a foreleg around her sister-in-law and pulled her close, “I know this is hard – I can’t imagine finding somebody who can keep up with you and your work is common. But sometimes ponies don’t turn out to be who or what we think they are. We find out that it was a mask or just a small part of them. Sometimes ponies just disappoint us.”

“Technically,” Twilight pointed out, “he’s not a pony.”

“Yeah, he’s Discord,” Rainbow Dash quipped, “Say what you want about him, Twilight, but he’s still Discord. You can’t fight yourself.”

Twilight was silent for a long moment before letting out a soft sigh, “...Yeah, maybe you’re-” she paused, “Wait – say that again.”

“That Discord is still Discord?” Rainbow Dash said, confused.

“No, the other part!”

“You can’t fight yourself?” Rainbow Dash said, “It’s like in the Daring Do books – no matter what happens, Ahuizotl always-”

“That’s it!” Twilight leapt up, cutting short what was sure to have been a rather impressive dissertation on the moral themes of A.K. Yearling’s seminal work as she dashed over to a different wall and began pinning notes to it, “Think about how all of this started.”

“You messed with chaos magic and ended up looking like Discord’s first dating chance in three millenia?”

“And then I couldn’t turn back,” Twilight continued, ignoring the second half of the comment, “I couldn’t use my normal magic – and why is that? Because I was now a walking chaos magic conduit and the two don’t play nice. Discord told us as much. But what about what happened in the forest? That shrubbery was a chaos entity, right? So why didn’t his attacks work – and why did mine?” She threw up a few charts from her own research files along with pictures of herself and Discord before pulling out a flier from the festival, “And then we have the monster from the festival. We couldn’t attack it without significant alterations to the baseline spellforms. Discord said it was because the creature was unraveling any magic that wasn’t its own. But its own magic wasn’t effected,” She ran a few more stretches of yarn before she turned back to the room, “So – what do all of these events have in common?”

“You and Discord nearly breaking reality?” Rainbow Dash suggested.

“Besides that,” Twilight replied with a dismissive wave.

“Conflict of magic?” Shining Armor suggested, “First you blocked your own magic with chaos magic, then the shrubbery with the freakish magic, and that monster that could ignore magic that wasn’t its own...” he paused, “But I can’t quite get what happened with the shrubbery.”

“The shrubbery was a hybrid between roots of the Tree of Harmony and Discord’s plunderseeds,” Twilight explained, “The resulting plant somehow managed to hybridize both forms of magic.”

“Unlike you?” Shining said.

“That’s what I thought!” Twilight said as she pulled out another set of diagrams – this one was a set of zig-zagging lines of several colors, “But then what Rainbow Dash said clicked – you can’t fight yourself. For the festival, we had to re-modulate the spells but I didn’t have to for the shrubbery. If we assume that there isn’t anything else going on, that means that my magic was already somehow modulated to match the shrubbery. And the only thing I had in common with the shrubbery was the combination of chaos and normal magic.”

“So, what’s all that mean?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“The shrubbery was able to use both forms of magic – Discord said that it was using the Tree’s magic to grow itself while using chaos magic to consume and power itself. It could use both forms of magic – which means I can to,” she pulled out a scroll of parchment and began to write as she continued to talk, “My normal magic and chaos magic are fully entwined – I literally couldn’t channel my normal magic any more. And Discord’s spells would just bounce off me for similar reasons. But I still have my normal magic – I just have to stop fighting it and work with it.”

Shining stepped closer to his furiously working sister, “How?”

“The converter,” Twilight replied simply as she worked, “The converter Discord and I used to fight the monster at the festival – the same principle could be used to map standard spell constructs to my altered magic. If this works the way I think it works...” Twilight looked up from her scroll, “...I could turn myself back.”

Shining blinked in surprise, “Wait, really?”

“That’s awesome!” Rainbow Dash cheered behind him, “So – what are we waiting for?”

“It’s just a theory right now, Dash,” Twilight replied, “I still need to design the entire spell – and that would be after I verify the underlying theory,” At Dash’s confused blinking, Twilight sighed and said, “A week or two. Maybe three.”

“Back to normal in a month!” Dash cheered again as she threw a hoof around Twilight, “You must be so excited right now, am I right?”

Twilight stared down at the scroll in front of her, “Excited, right...”

Author's Note

Once I'm done with this, I'll have to go back and hunt for typos

3

Reach Out

The sun had long since set outside as the purple draconequus set the sheaf of papers down with a sigh. She had thought her original spell had been complex, but this… while it wasn’t operating on nearly the sort of power or slim margins the slap-dash spell they’d slapped together during the festival had, that had at least been straight-forward. What she was looking at now was less one spell and more several nested within and around each other.

Well, now she could at least be sure that, if the ritual did blow up in her face it would at least be an explosion powered by equine magic. The spell-conversion matrix was finally done, and with it the last major ritual component. All the remained was integration, cross-checks, and incremental testing.

She leaned back in her chair with a sigh, glancing around her workshop. Just getting to this stage had taken over a week of long nights, and she hadn’t even started making anything yet. This sort of ritual worked best with custom components and implements – cold-forged copper rings, specially-brewed alchemic reagents, hoof-crafted spell gems… procurement could take ages. Her original estimate of a few weeks wasn’t wrong, really – but if she wanted to do this right, then she should really take her time. No point in rushing, really.

A claw came up to her face with a groan. She could tell when she was trying to rationalize something to herself. She’d worked out what she’d probably need for this days ago – ordering the reagents and gems she couldn’t find in Ponyville and having them delivered would only take a few days. Even with quality control and testing, she’d still be able to match her first estimate.

Pony again inside of a month…

With another sigh, she collected her notes and set them aside before rising from her desk. She’d promised her friends she’d get some fresh air and relax today. Leaving her office behind, Twilight stepped out into the hall and made her way toward the Map room.

She heard her friends before she even reached the door, the distinct sound of Pinkie Pie’s giggling carrying far thanks to the acoustics of the crystal castle, the less distinct sounds of whoever was trying to control her cutting in occasionally. The scene she found when she finally entered the chamber isn’t what she was expecting, but was hardly surprising.

The last chocolate rain storm had shown an alarming tendency to target individual ponies, though she had never figured out the exact selection criteria – she had narrowed down to either being based on how good a day a pony was having or how thirsty she was. Actually getting it back to the castle had proven surprisingly easy in the end; she'd simply isolated the string dictating its direction and tied it to the directionality of an object. Thus, the point-and-go cotton candy cloud.

Pinkie was now zooming around the Map room on top of it, the wooden staff she'd ended up using to control it clutched in one foreleg. Below her, Applejack and Fluttershy were both trying to convince her to come down – the latter softly, the former less so. Rarity was simply keeping as far away from the sticky cloud as possible, and near her Rainbow Dash was watching the entire spectacle like it was her own private show. “So,” Twilight said as she stopped next to Rarity, “Do I even want to know?”

The white unicorn shrugged, a curl of purple mane shifting as she does, “Not much to tell you, dear – one moment we were all waiting, the next Pinkie swoops in through a window on top of that… thing.” she finished with a wave of a hoof toward Pinkie and her new form of transport. Now that she thought about it, Twilight realized that the pink earth pony blended into the pink cloud almost perfectly.

Twilight watched the flying pink-on-pink blur zoom around the chamber as she walked forward until Pinkie was doing little loops centered on her. “Having fun, Pinkie?”

“Indubitably!” Pinkie replied with a giggle as she did a barrel roll, “This is so cool, Twilight! Can I keep it?”

“I still need it for my research,” Twilight replied, “So no.”

“awww,” Pinkie said with a frown, “Can I eat it when you’re done?”

Twilight considered for a moment the ramifications of letting Pinkie consume a piece of chaos energy the size of her head, “...maybe. I thought I had that down in cold storage downstairs though.”

“You did!” Pinkie said, now driving the cloud backwards, “I was down there looking for some ice cream and found this instead. Way better than ice cream.”

“You’re surprisingly good at that,” Twilight noted as she watched the earth pony literally fly circles around Rainbow Dash, “How’s the handling? Discord and I had issues with turn responsiveness before and we think I might have been related to the sluggish acceleration, but we-”

A cough behind her reminded Twilight that she as getting distracted again.

“Right,” Twilight said sheepishly before turning to address Pinkie, “Mind parking the cloud? We need to discuss the plans for today.”

“Silly Twilight,” Pinkie said with a giggle, “Plans never survive long!”

“Trust me, I know,” Twilight replied as she took a seat in her own chair and gesturing for the others to do so, “But it’s the thought that counts.”

“Which is why,” Rarity cut in, giving Twilight a sharp glare before addressing Pinkie, “I have scheduled us all for a trip to the Spa; Aloe and Lotus shall have everything ready by the time we arrive.”

“What about long, purple, and crazy here?” Rainbow asked as she finally decided to land, “I mean, it’s not like they have a draconequus bath, right?”

Rarity just gave the blue pegasus a relaxed smile.

Rainbow’s forehoof met her forehead with a smack, “They do, don’t they?”

“Not per se, no,” Rarity admitted, “But the twins have a alicorn-sized accommodations for all of their treatments, and the group bath is of course large enough…” she gave Twilight an aside glance, “...barring any size-shifting shenanigans, of course.”

Twilight held her forelimbs up defensively, “Who do I look like, Discord?”

“A little bit,” Rainbow replied, waving her hoof vaguely, “If you squint a bit...”

Rainbow got another sharp glare from Rarity before the unicorn continued, “Of course Twilight – perish the thought! It’s just, with draconequii and spas…” she fidgeted nervously, “...I had a bad experience.”

“Really?” Rainbow asked, as everybody – including Flash, when did he get here? - leaned in, “What happened?”

“I said I had a bad experience!” Rarity replied sharply, “And I shall leave it at that!”

“...Right,” Twilight said after a moment, “In that case – everybody ready?”

“Of course, darling,”

“Sure, whatever.”

“I’m fine.”

“Let’s go-go-go!”

“Ready whenever you are, Twi.”

“Ready to go, ma’am.”

Okay, Twilight thought, thats fi- wait, “Flash?” Twilight spun around to face the stallion in the room, “what are you doing?”

The guard blinked owlishly, “Preparing to escort you on your spa day, ma’am,”

Twilight ran a claw down her face with a groan, “Flash, I don’t need an escort.”

“Be that as it may, ma’am,” Flash replied, “I am your sole guard at the moment. There are protocols to observe.”

“Sure you don’t want to just listen in on a bunch of mares bathing?” Rainbow taunted with a wink and a nudge to the other pegasus.

Flash just regarded her with a raised eyebrow, “Why would I want to listen to you all bathing?”

Rainbow stared at him for a moment before saying, “What are you, stupid?”

“Rainbow, stop trying to give him ideas,” Twilight said with a sigh, “Flash, if you’re going to come… fine. Just expect consequences?”

Flash blinked owlishly, “Consequences?”

A short while later, Rarity was trotting down the road to the spa, a spring in her step as the rest followed close behind, “I do love a nice stroll through town! Especially when it leads to a few pieces of lovely fabric.”

Well behind the main group, Flash glanced up at the massive stack of fabric bolts piled on his back, “A few?”

“Oh, shush, Mister Sentry,” Rarity admonished him as the spa came into sight, “I carry more than that twice a week.”

“Ma’am, you have magic; that hardly seems fair,” Flash groused, but didn’t complain further.

As the septet stepped into the spa, Aloe and Lotus were quick to greet them, “Welcome!” the twin earth ponies said in unison before the first continued, “Bringing your work with you now, Miss Rarity?” the pink mare asked.

“We understand you like your work, but this...” her blue sister continued with a hint of a smile.

“I came across a sale I simply couldn’t pass on, ladies – that’s all,” Rarity replied as she glanced back at Flash, “Really though, I did tell you that you could drop that off at my shop, didn’t I?”

“You did ma’am,” Flash replied as he set his burden down in a corner with a sigh, “But really, it’s nothing,” Twilight just barely noticed the way he glanced at her for an instant, “Going to your shop and coming back would be more trouble than it’s worth.”

“Should we prepare a room for your stallion, Princess Sparkle?” Lotus asked as she moved to rearrange the stacks of cloth into something neater and more discreet.

“Could you please not word it that?” Twilight said with a sigh, “But-”

“That won’t be necessary,” Flash cut in, “I’m just here as the Princess’s guard detail.”

Aloe and Lotus glanced between Twilight and the guard before settling their gazes back on Flash as Lotus said, “….she requires a guard?”

“The same thing, every time!” Flash groused dramatically – perhaps too dramatically, Twilight thought as she noticed Flash's smirk at the twin’s giggling.

“I think we can work with that,” Aloe finally said as she managed to compose herself again, waving a hoof, “Please, come with me – we have you in the Rose Bath today.”

The six ponies and the draconequus followed the twin down the hall and into quite possibly the last thing Twilight had been expecting.

The room was a wide open space, most of the space dominated by the oversized bath that looked more like a pool. Water-slicked rocks ringed the side, steam curling off the water as the soft burbling of miniature waterfalls adding to the ambiance. Twilight leaned back out the door and glanced back and forth down the hall. Some of those doors seemed off.

She leaned back in through the door and looked around again. She repeated her observations a few times before saying out loud, “It’s smaller on the outside.”

“Ye-” Aloe started before stopping with a frown, “...That is not what most people usually say.”

“Most?” Twilight asked as she turned to the earth pony, “How long has this been here?”

Aloe shrugged, “A year or so? Discord came with Fluttershy for one of her spa days and decided he wanted to renovate.”

Twilight blinked, “And you let him?”

“He did not ask,” Aloe replied with a shrug, “And once it was done… well, no point in putting it to waste, right?”

“I suppose not,” Twilight replied with a smirk, “You said this was after a visit with Fluttershy? I wonder if he was trying to...” Twilight trailed off for a moment as her face slowly fell.

“...Miss Sparkle?” Aloe finally said after a long moment.

That seemed to snap the draconequus out of whatever thought she had been lost in, as she gave herself a quick shake before regarding the spa pony with a smile, “Sorry – was reminded of an… experiment. Anyway! I don’t see any soap – did Discord do something to that too?”

“Some of it, yes,” Lotus replied with a sigh, “He told us that he’d improved the soap along with making some for himself, but failed to tell us which was which.”

“Well, what’s wrong with-” Twilight started before she thought of it, “Poison Joke?”

“Indeed,” Lotus said with a nod, “Sadly, he left his ‘personal’ soap mixed amongst the rest.”

Twilight rolled her eyes, “Figures – well, I can take a quick look. Lead the way.”

“Twilight, I really must protest,” Rarity cut in. Behind her, the other girls were already taking advantage of the oversized bath, “This soap has been fine for months; I’m sure they have other soap.”

Lotus nodded, “We do; its part of why we haven’t talked to you sooner.”

“What’s the other part?” Twilight asked as she raised an eyebrow.

Lotus shuffled her hooves as she laughed nervously, “Well, Princess, its, um...”

Her explanation was interrupted by Rainbow Dash suddenly cutting in from the left, “Hey, Lotus! Can I get more of that soap? The last bar turned the mayor’s mane pink for like a week! You can drop it off at my place like usual, okay? Thanks, bye!”

Twilight and Lotus watched Rainbow dive back into the water before turning back to each other, Twilight’s flat stare meeting Lotus’s nervous smile and winning, “So,” Twilight said, “I guess this is why you’ve been having those ‘Poison Joke Treatment’ specials, hm?”

“P-part of it, Princess,” Lotus replied as she started to lead her down the hall, “Though, um, that sounded more like it might have been one of the improved bars; they really are quite impressive...”

“That’s Discord for you,” Twilight said as she followed the mare. Behind her, most of her friends were too engrossed with the bath to notice, “Never does anything by half-measures...”

The pair quickly reached a small store room, and inside were stacks and stacks of identical looking bars of blue soap, “So, Princess,” Lotus asked nervously, “How long do you think this would take?”

Twilight inhaled deeply before slowly exhaling from her nose, the tell-tale spicy-sweet scent of Poison Joke rolling over her, “Based on the aroma? A bit. This much Poison Joke means I can’t just wave a claw.”

Lotus balked, “You mean you will have to examine each bar individually?”

“I never said that,” Twilight replied as she sat down next to the nearest pallet of bars and grabbed one, nibbling on it, “It’ll just take a bit to work out an exclusion criteria.”

“I...see?” Lotus replied cautiously. Like most of the town, she’d learned to take a conservative approach to things when dealing with a jargon-using Twilight.

“Don’t worry,” Twilight waved at her in a vaguely reassuring way as she grabbed a second soap bar, “It’s perfectly safe.” Whatever else Lotus said after that, Twilight didn’t notice as she turned her attention to the bars in front of her. To most, they all looked the same, but for Twilight the different weave of the strings was unmistakable. The bar on her left was centered on a writhing ball of tendrils, snapping out to anything that got to close and working furiously to remove impurities from the base material. The soaps cleaning nature then, amplified by what looked like a coil of Discord’s own intentionality.

The other bar, instead of a bundle of strings, was more like a single stiff fiber poised on a coiled spring. At its root was the slowly churning gorgon’s knot that was Posion Joke – a conceptual delivery mechanism, laid out in the weaves of probability and potential.

Luckily, the massive difference in structure meant it would be easy to sort out. Twilight quickly began weaving a spell of her own, tendrils of telekinetic force being fed simple instructions – if tendrils, pile left. If stinger, pile right.

Once she was certain that her spell wouldn’t try to sort everything at once – and after adding a dampening metric, lest her spell destroy the spa in a burst of over-enthusiastic organization – she set it to work. Immediately, blocks of soap began dancing themselves into the separate piles, spinning slowly in front of her for a moment before moving to their designated piles under Twilight’s careful supervision at a steady pace.

A steady, slow pace.

Twilight managed to leave well enough alone before she unfolded the spell-form and started tinkering with it. Luckily, the spell could keep functioning while she fine-tuned it. “Let’s see,” she thought out loud, “Obvious place to start is the identification algorithm – if I can just streamline the process...” Strings began to untie and reweave themselves as her claws danced across them. As she did the blocks began to move faster, but soon the spell began to wobble and spark unnervingly, “Oh, darn it – I forgot to take into account auxiliary storage needs. This wouldn’t be a problem if I could shift the computation elsewhen or elsewhere… gah; stupid non-coherent mathematical models. Where’s Discord when you need him? Guess I just have to do it the slow way. Can’t add more memory though. Maybe parallelization? Could also work on the motive function cycle as well...”

Slowly, the spell began to stabilize as the sorting slowed done until it was just faster than before while Twilight continued to tinker. Pale blue light tinted the space as Twilight began to hum a meandering bi-tonal tune. Time lost any meaning beyond the methodical and steady improvement of her spell.

At least, until somebody else showed up.

“Princess Twilight?”

Twilight looked up from her work on a more efficient transport cycle to see Flash Sentry standing in the door way with an odd mix of politely professional neutrality and concern written across his face. “Oh, Flash,” she waved vaguely as she turned back to the spell, “I’ll be out shortly. I just need another… five minutes?”

“Ma’am,” Sentry replied, “You’ve been in here for over forty minutes.”

Twilight blinked owlishly, “...Really?”

“Yes ma’am,” Sentry replied with a nod, “The rest of the girls have moved on to the sauna…” He paused, tapping at his chin with one hoof, “Well, most of them – I think Rainbow Dash is trying to find tree twigs. Something about ‘traditional techniques’.”

“Yeah,” Twilight drawled as she recalled just what Rainbow was talking about, “I think she just wants an excuse to hit ponies with sticks.”

“Probably,” Sentry replied with a shrug, “Wanna come watch?”

“I think I should try and stop her, if anything,” Twilight replied as she collapsed the spell back down and leaving it to run before turning to Sentry, “… Forty minutes though? Really?”

“Yes ma’am,” Sentry nodded, “You must have been really focused.”

“It’s relaxing,” Twilight replied with a shrug as the pair headed down the hall, “or, at least as relaxing as cleaning up Discord’s antics can be.”

“You must be getting pretty good at that by now Princess,” Sentry said, “Especially after working with him this long.”

“Advantage of working with him though was I could make him help clean up his own messes,” Twilight said as her mind thought back to the town festival and its giant bird – as well as its decorations, “Though, to be fair, he’s been getting better.”

“Thanks to your good influence, no doubt,” Sentry gave a small nod before standing to the side and gesturing to a door, “The sauna, Princess.”

“Thank you, Sentry,” Twilight replied politely before stepping inside.

And promptly being hit in the face with a twig.

“That’s a point for me!” Pinkie cheered from somewhere in the foggy depths of the chamber.

“Pinkie, we aren’t keeping score,” Rainbow’s voice answered from somewhere Twilight couldn’t – no, wait. She could just make out a bluish patch of steam.

“Good for you then!” Pinkie replied with a smirk Twilight could actually hear, “Because I would be winning.”

“Sorry about that girls,” Twilight finally said as she removed the twig from her mane, “...Rainbow, this isn’t even the right genus.”

“You know you’re the only genius for us, Twilight,” Rainbow replied as she finally emerged from the steam, “Why you’re comparing yourself to a twig...”

“This is from the wrong tree,” Twilight said, cutting her off.

“Oh,” Rainbow replied before shrugging, “All I could find. You had me worried for a moment there – thought all that Discord Time might have finally caught up with you.”

“Speaking of Discord,” Rarity chimmed in from a bench near a wall, “What did he do this time?”

“Nothing much,” Twilight replied, taking one of the bars of soap and tweaking it slightly before tossing it toward the unicorn, “Take a look at this.”

Rarity caught the soap on reflex, looking over it for a moment before giving it a dainty sniff, “Oh my – this smells lovely! What is it?”

Twilight let out a content sigh as she collapsed bonelessly onto the bench opposite, draping a warm towel over her face, “Poison Joke Soap.” Twilight couldn’t help but smirk at the sudden ‘eek’ closely followed by a soft thud across from her, “Don’t worry – I neutralized the Poison Joke along with adjusting the smell.”

Twilight took a chance and glanced over, watching Rarity carefully pick up the soap like it was going to bite her, “adjusted how?” she asked.

“Ponies can’t usually smell Poison Joke properly,” Twilight explained, “It’s a draconequus thing. I just made it so it wasn’t.”

“So this is what the flowers smell like to you all the time?” Rarity asked before giving the bar another sniff, “I can see why you didn’t mind Discord showering you with them.”

“It is nicer than suddenly finding the library’s poetry section attempting to eviscerate my literary criticism texts,” Twilight replied, “Discord can be surprisingly nice once you get past the whole lack of impulse control.”

“Could,” Rainbow suddenly spoke up, drawing look and a quirked eyebrow from Twilight, to which Rainbow Dash replied with a shrug, “What? He’s in Canterlot now working with Princess Celestia – that means it should be ‘could be’ instead of ‘can be’, right?”

The sauna was silent for a long moment, save Pinkie’s energetic bouncing, until Rarity finally managed to speak, “Did Rainbow just correct Twilight on grammar?”

“I think she did,” Applejack replied incredulously, “I’m as shocked as you are.”

“Oh, screw you guys,” Rainbow replied as she dropped onto the bench next to Twilight with a huff.

“Be nice, everypony,” Twilight said, admonishing them as she rolled over, “Besides, Rainbow probably reads more then Rarity these days. Ponies can change.”

“Case in point,” Rainbow said, giving the purple draconequus a poke with a wing, “Though that’s starting to finally sound temporary. You’ll finally be able to go back to being an alicorn!”

“Go back,” Twilight said as she layed back on the bench, eyes gazing up at the wood panels of the ceiling, “Right...”

“I figured you’d be more excited, dear,” Rarity commented as she spooned water onto a pile of heated stones near the center of the room, sending a plume of steam curling toward the ceiling, “This is what you’ve been working towards for weeks, is it not?”

“Yeah,” Twilight said absently before realizing she was actually in a conversation, “I mean – yeah, it’s just… after everything, I’m just…” she trailed off with a sigh as she rolled over, staring toward the rocks, “I guess part of me didn’t think I’d ever work it out...”

“You?” Rainbow said, raising an eyebrow, “not figuring out a problem? As if. Still, I know the feeling,” Rainbow stretched out with a sigh, “Sometimes I amaze even myself with how awesome I am.”

That earned Rainbow a chorus of groans from the others as Twilight sat back and simply tried to enjoy the sauna. She had to admit, that after the weeks of insanity and the occasional near-death encounter, A chance to unwind and not have to worry about anything immediate was… nice. Even if a small part of her was complaining about wasted time that could be used to solve things. She had to remind that part that spending time with her friends was not a waste in time and was, in fact, important to maintaining proper mental health.

A third part of her pointed out that she was a few extra pronouns away from talking to herself and she should probably stop.

“Alright,” Twilight said after a long while, popping her back as she bent nearly in half, “I’ll be right back girls – I need some air, and I think this humidity is doing something strange to my coat.”

“Darlin’,” Applejack cut in, “Last time you said that you missed the entire bath.”

“Five minutes, I promise.” Twilight assured her, but all she got in reply was an arched eyebrow.

“Fine,” Twilight said with a huff before pulling the door open, sticking her head out and looking at Flash. The guard was apparently half-way through a hand of solitare, “Flash Sentry – I’m getting some air; make sure I’m back in five minutes and don’t get sucked into some sort of ‘mad-scientist fugue state’ and make sure I get back to-” she paused and turned to Rarity, “Where are we going next?”

“Deep tissue massages, darling,” Rarity replied.

“Make sure I get back to the massages on time.” Twilight finished saying to Sentry before turning to Applejack, “There, satisfied?”

Applejack shrugged, “Works for me.”

Friends properly reassured, Twilight stepped out of the sauna and into the cool air of the spa.

Almost instantly, her entire coat fluffed out, turning her into what looked like a large, fuzzy sausage, “Ugh – I look like my Cutie Pox virus plushie,” Twilight complained as she groped around the room for a Princess-sized towel, “Discord never had this much trouble.”

“Ma’am,” Sentry replied as she handed her a towel, “I don’t think Discord ever spent time in a sauna.”

“Point,” Twilight replied as she began the arduous process of dewatering her coat, “Gah – how does he do this? This is going to take ages.”

“Can’t you just make all the water, you know...” Sentry asked, waving his hoof vaguely, “...not be in your coat?”

Twilight paused mid-wipe, “...Huh. You’d think I’d remember this sort of thing,” she tossed the towel aside before she turned her attention inward, “Okay, just gimme a-” an instant later, the entire room outside the sauna resembled inside the sauna, “...and that’s why I don’t try this sort of thing usually.” she finished with a sigh as water began to condense on everything.

“...I’ll get some towels,” Sentry said before he started out of the room.

“Let me help!” when Sentry looked back at her, she quickly added, “non-magically! Unlike Discord, I learn.”

“I thought you said he had been a good partner?” the orange pegasus asked as the pair found a linen closet and proceeded to empty it.

“Yeah,” Twilight said with a nod, adjusting the piles of towels stacked across her back, “I mean, for a lord of chaos he had a good grasp of scientific methodology, a willingness to test any hypothesis and an excellent grasp of subject material, as you’d expect,” she sighed, “And he seemed to enjoy the work. Or at least I thought he did...”

“What can you do?” Sentry shrugged, “Sometimes people are ready to move on before we are.”

Twilight arched an eyebrow, “Speaking from experience?”

“Last girlfriend,” Sentry replied, “We dated for ten months, and then she dropped the ‘we should see other people’ thing,” he sighed, “Thing is, I didn’t want to – but I couldn’t make her stay, now could I? So I let her go.”

Twilight blinked, “And then you moved on?”

Sentry gave a small ‘hah’, “Oh, hay no! I kept pining for her for months.”

Twilight blinked owlishly, “...oh.”

“But I moved on, eventually,” Sentry continued, “because I had to. You can’t just wait around and hope things go back to how they were until you’re ready.”

“All the best plans, huh?” Twilight replied before sighing, “You’re probably right but it still feels… wrong, doing all of this without him. It was his work too after all.”

Sentry considered her for a moment before he said, “Huh – you were closer to him then I thought.”

“It’s not like that!” Twilight quickly shot back, “It’s just – it feels like I’m taking credit for something he did, even if he’s the one who left.”

“I guess his priorities must have changed,” Sentry replied as he glanced at a clock, “Apologies ma’am, but we need to head back if we wanna be on time.”

The pair found the others already out of the sauna and reacting to the lightly water-logged room with varying degrees of amusement, “Ah, Twilight,” Rarity greeted them before gesturing at the room around them, “I take it this is your doing?”

“Not entirely intentional, I swear,” Twilight replied as she sent the towels to cleaning up the excess water.

Applejack raised an eyebrow as she watched a pair of towels begin wiping down a display cabinet, “You have some sort of accident?”

Behind her, Rainbow snerked.

“Was just trying to de-water my coat,” Twilight replied, pointedly ignoring the blue pegasus, “Draconequus coats and excess moisture are not a pleasant combination. I have no idea how Discord deals with it.”

“He never complained about anything before,” Fluttershy commented before a towel started to try nudging her out of the way, “Oh, sorry!” she quickly side-stepped, letting the towel dart under the cabinet that had been behind her before she continued, “Bath time was one of the few things he enjoyed, or at least I thought so...” Fluttershy’s gaze shifted toward the ceiling as one wing came around and began lightly tapping on her chin.

“...You look like you want to add something to that, partner?” Applejack finally said after a long moment.

“Oh, sorry!” Fluttershy quickly replied, “It’s just, I thought that might explain the time I caught him rubbing himself down with the Mallard family.”

“The Mallard family are… ducks, yes?” Rarity asked, cautiously.

“Oh, yes! Which remind me,” Fluttershy turned to Pinkie, “Thank you for the stale pastries – everyone loved them. Harry loved the bear claws.”

“Of course he did, silly!” Pinkie replied, not looking away from her game of keep-away with a towel as she taunted it about with a long-handled brush like it was a carrot.

“Pinkie, let the towels work,” Rarity admonished the pink mare as she yanked away the brush away with a burst of telekinesis, “We do need to be heading over to the massage.”

“Don’t they usually come get you for that?” Rainbow asked as she watched a pair of towels tussle over the chance to clean a chair.

“Indeed, Miss Dash.”

“Gah!” Rainbow jumped a good meter and a half into the air as Aloe spoke up from behind her. The blue pegasus spun around and glared at her, “Where the hay did you come from?”

“If you would follow me,” Aloe continued, her only reaction to Rainbow being the slightest of smirks, “the massage room is ready for all of you.”

Aloe continued to ignore Rainbow Dash as she turned and gestured for everyone to follow her. With a grumble, Rainbow followed her, Pinkie pronking along shortly after her. Fluttershy and Rarity were close behind, but Applejack paused after few steps before turning to Twilight, “You okay, Twi?”

Twilight hadn’t moved since Aloe had shown up, instead watching the towels go about their work, “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said as she finally started to move, “Just wanted to make sure they weren’t going to… start a war against the shampoo containers or something.”

They caught up to the rest in the next room, Aloe and Lotus standing in front of a small circle of those strange table-gurney things with the holes to lay face down in arrayed behind them, “Please choose whichever table you’d like, ladies,” Aloe said, “Once you are all situated, our masseuses can begin.”

“Um, slight problem,” Twilight said as she looked over the tables, “None of these are designed for a four meter long Draconequus.” She was also fairly certain that even a Princess-sized one would leave one end of her sitting on the floor.

Aloe and Lotus blinked owlishly before glancing behind them and taking a quick inventory. Aloe actually bit off a quiet curse under her breath before heading toward a side door with a small ‘excuse me’. She gave the door a quick series of knocks, and it promptly slid open to reveal a truly massive white pegasus stallion, “Mister Snowflake,” Aloe said, “Where is the bed for Princess Twilight?”

“Sorry ma’am,” the stallion replied sheepishly, his spa uniform straining over his muscles as he nervously scratched at his neck, “But I just can’t get it to hold together.”

“I see...” Aloe said as she gave Twilight an aside glance.

“You want me to take a look?” Twilight asked with a sigh.

“If you would be so kind,” Aloe replied with a nod.

The rest of the afternoon continued smoothly after that, though even with the stretched bed in place the only masseuse that had any luck with Twilight was Snowflake; the others who tried used phrases such as ‘like trying to massage stone’, ‘what even are these muscles?’ and ‘oh sweet Celestia my hoof’.

Once things got going however, Twilight was more than willing to admit that this had been a great idea on Rarity’s part. Days of working hunched over a table had left her with knots in muscles she didn’t even know she had – literally, since she and Discord had never gotten around to documenting Draconquui anatomy. She had to suppress an un-princess like moan of comfort as Snowflake worked his way down her spine. Agile as Discord’s claws might be, he never put enough force behind it to get deep into the muscles. He also had a tendency to start re-coloring her coat part way though.

When the group of seven finally stepped out of the spa and into the afternoon sun, Twilight couldn’t help but grin. She was properly relaxed for the first time in days, that annoying kink in between her shoulder was gone, and she felt like she could do anything. Conquering chaos magic, re-stabilize the Griffinstone economy, conquer a couple of alternate timelines – the sky was the limit. Or maybe more of a lower bound. Reversing her own transformation should be trivial! Discord would…

...her thoughts petered out as she remembered that Discord wasn’t interested in talking to her at the moment.

And she’d been having such a good time too.

She gave herself a quick shake before turning to her friends with a smile, “This was a great idea Rarity; I really needed to relax more then I thought.”

“Of course it was!” Rarity replied with a toss of her mane, “Never doubt me on matters of relaxation.”

To her left, Rainbow Dash leaned toward Applejack and stage-whispered, “Says the mare that once had a panic attack over her mane.”

“I heard that!” Rarity yelled as Applejack tried to suppress a snicker.

Twilight allowed herself an eye-roll before she continued, “It was nice, not having to worry about anything for a day – no papers, no rips in reality, no Discord in my bed in the morning...”

“Yeah, he did that, what? Two, three times?” Rainbow asked, hopping over a still annoyed Rarity to hover along next to Twilight, “What was with that, anyhow?”

“Just trying to get a rise from me, probably,” Twilight groused, “At least at first – later on, I have no idea; the old goat was annoyingly clingy in bed sometimes and he kept trying even after I just accepted it,” she groaned, “And now the jerk has run off the Canterlot; I’ll never get an answer from him.”

“Hate to break it to you, partner, but you probably weren’t ever gettin’ an answer anyway,” Applejack quipped with a chuckle.

“Yeah,” Rainbow agreed before adding with a grin, “Look on the upside – he’s probably messing with Princess Celestia right now!”

“He’s there to get a favor out of her,” Twilight replied, “Why would he prank her?”

Rainbow arched any eyebrow, “Because he’s Discord?”

Twilight considered that for a moment, “Fair enough.”

The conversation trailed off after that, devolving into the usual banter one hears among friends. But as the five ponies and one draconequus parted ways for the evening, Twilight found her thoughts drifting back to Discord.

“Flash,” Twilight finally asked as her castle’s door swung shut behind her, the pegasus guard ahead of her pausing to turn back to look at her as she spoke, “Your last girlfriend… how did you manage to move on, eventually?”

“I wrote her a letter,” Flash replied simply as he started unbuckling his armor, “Just laid out everything. Even sent it to her, eventually...” he paused as he pulled his helmet off, “...She never did write back though. But that wasn’t the point, really.”

Twilight blinked owlishly, “What was the point?”

“To get it all out,” Flash replied, “And, I guess, maybe, to give her a chance,” he gave her a polite bow as he tucked the helmet under one wing, “Goodnight, Princess.”

Twilight watched the guardspony head up the stairs in near silence, the only sound being his hoof falls on the crystalline steps. Soon, Twilight was alone in her entryway with her own thoughts. She was still lost in her own thoughts a few minutes later as she mad her way upstairs, “A letter, huh…?”

Say Goodbye

The door gave a dramatic groan as it slowly swung inward, and Celestia hesitated on the threshold. Alicorn of vast power or not, even she hesitated in the face of Discord’s powers – especially within a space he had taken over.

She had told him to make himself at home, after all.

Her first glance at what was once a fine guest suite in the eastern tower gave her every reason to believe he had done so. The roof was gone, a kaleidoscope of whirling, aurora-like patterns hanging high above instead. A vast perfusion of plants and other growths in every color save green it seemed filled the space from her eye-level down, the light from some of the luminescent cultivars vying with sunlight streaming in from a window that was not only not facing in any direction that aligned with the sun, but if she recalled correctly was facing an internal wall. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”

“I highly doubt that,” Discord replied as he tossed a miniature bullseye at a pony-sized throwing dart hanging from a wall, where it embedded next to two similar discs with a dull ‘thunk, “I think one of your maids had a panic attack when she saw the plants...”

“Miss Neat can be somewhat high-strung at times...” Celestia commented before she continued more loudly, “Have you put any thought into my proposal, Discord?”

“A little,” Discord replied with a shrug as he tossed another disc, “I also thought about dying my coat plaid or snogging Chryssy for a lark,” Another disc, another thunk, “Not like there’s any rush – neither of us is going anywhere. Besides, I like to keep my options open.”

“Well,” Celestia said as she stepped through the miniature jungle and into the clearing Discord had set up camp in. The usual four-poster bed stood in the center, a few other pieces of furniture in a rough circle around it and all covered in a thousand baubles and trinkets of brass and glass in a dozen colors – purple, pink, yellow, blue, and more. Celestia gentle pushed one aside, the strange device coming to life with a whirr and a melodic series of rings, as she pulled a scroll out from under her wing, “It seems one option is about to close to you – Twilight sent you a letter.”

Discord finally looked away from his target practice, remaining sprawled across the bed as he glanced up at Celestia with an arched eyebrow, “I take it you read it?”

“Of course,” she replied as Discord took the scroll, “It came to me via Dragonfire, same as all of my Faithful Student’s letters. Why would I assume it was for anyone else?”

“Besides the label?” Discord asked as he unrolled the scroll and began to read it, “Perhaps because you can’t send a letter to a Draconequus via Dragonfire usually – but you’d have to actually ask about me to...” he trailed off as he read further into the letter;

Dear Discord,

It’s been a while since you left and things here in Ponyville have settled down. Many of the buildings you created for the festival are still standing, that funny group in the hoods occasionally asks around for you, and dealing with the anomalies has become nearly routine. Fluttershy misses her tea time with you. My research isn’t quite the same, either. Your reasons for leaving are your own, and I can understand that drive - the past is an important thing, and our pasts often help shape our futures. But take it from somebody who has spent too much time digging into old books and lost lore before - losing sight of the present can be just as bad as forgetting the past. No matter where you go next, I hope you realize that the work we did together was amazing - something you should take some pride in. It just seems unfortunate that you won’t be here for the culmination of our work.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever your doing now, and I hope you find the answers you’re looking for. But, if you ever fancy a spot of tea, a bit of light reading, or just a chance to relax, remember that you have friends in Ponyville that will welcome you back with open limbs.

Your Friend and Colleague,

Twilight Sparkle

P.S. - My Reversion Ritual spell is finished, and I will be performing it Tuesday evening at six; if you can make it, you are welcome to come.

“It’s seems my Student as opted to end your current relationship with her,” Celestia commented as she brushed off a corner of the bed and took a seat. Discord, meanwhile, was still staring at the letter, “Discord, you mustn’t blame yourself for this – your time with my student could only end in one way, and this way everyone can move on with their lives with minimal… fuss.”

Discord blinked at the letter owlishly before falling back onto his bead with a ‘pomf’.

“Really, Discord,” Celestia said with a sigh, “This is for the best. The longer you had spent carrying on in Ponyville the way you had been, the more likely something was to go wrong. This way, there are no hard feelings – you can still go to Ponyville and see Fluttershy, and Twilight is understanding. A clean, professional break-”

Celestia was cut off as Discord suddenly began laughing… hysterically. Celestia frowned, “Discord, I’m trying to be serious-”

“I know!” Discord managed to get out between bursts of laughter, “That’s why it's so funny!”

Celestia’s frown turned into a scowl, “Discord, would you stop-”

“Laughing?” Discord interrupted, “No. You actually think this is Twilight telling me to get lost, isn’t it?”

“The letter is clearly Twilight stating that the two of you should go your separate ways,” Celestia said, glaring at Discord, “What else could it be?”

“It’s Twilight saying we can go our separate ways, not should,” Discord replied, waggling one claw at the princess, “big difference,” there was a flash of smoke and Discord was suddenly in a tweed suit and glasses, “But if you want a grammar lesson, I’m more than happy to oblige.”

“I have no need for-” Celestia was cut off as she found herself suddenly shoved behind a desk about two sizes too small for her towering frame.

“So, where should we start?” Discord said as he materialized a chalkboard out of the ether, “Because I’m not that picky.”

“Discord,” Celestia said with a sigh, “I know that you enjoyed your time toying with my student, but it is quite obvious that time has come to an end.”

“Oh, really?” Discord said, one bushy eyebrow arching until it was a claws-length above his head, “Let’s see if you can prove it!”

And then the two of them were seated at a table across from each other, two connected clocks with buttons atop them sitting in between them on one side and Twilight’s letter spread out in the middle on top of a checkers board. A black knight piece, a wooden tile, a polished white stone and a little green-backed ceramic tile holding down the corners, “I’ll even let you go first,” Discord said with mock-politeness as he slapped the button atop the clock closest to him.

Celestia sighed as she settled into the chair, “You, of all beings, must understand just how kind a soul Twilight is. My student enjoyed her work with you, and with good reason – you are a rare example of a magic she, or anyone else, has ever seen. But this letter is just her ending things the only way she knows how – by polite letter, wishes of fair winds, and an offer of shelter should the need ever arise. It is an offer she has made to many before,” She looked across the table at the draconequus, a look of austere pity on her face, “Why would you cling to such a fantasy?”

Discord simply stared back across the table at her, only breaking eye-contact at random intervals to glance knowingly at the clock by Celestia. After half a dozen iterations of this, Celestia rolled her eyes as she slapped the clock with a hoof.

“Well, thanks for at least sticking to your character,” Discord started drolly, “It would have been a shame if you’d chosen now of all times to become interesting.”

“If you think that petty insults-” Celestia began to reply indignantly, but Discord cut her off with a surprise rubber duck to the face.

“Ah-ah-ah; still my turn,” The draconequus said with a ‘tsk’, “Now, where was I? Oh, right – You saying exactly what I was expecting you to. Which is why I can just point out that, given how I left, she used ‘our’ quite a lot,” He slapped the top of the clock and leaned back with a smirk, “Your move.”

“You and your silly games...” Celestia muttered in what she likely thought was a low enough voice for Discord not to hear before she continued more loudly, “She used such phrasing because she’s honest; it was a joint project – as an academic she would never dream of robbing somebody of credit when it is due.” With a soft tap, she hit the clocks switch and waved to Discord politely.

“A fair point, I suppose,” Discord said with a shrug, “But you ponies love to take credit. ‘my darling foal got an A on a spelling test’ or ‘my town has stood since the Lunar Rebellion’ - ‘my town’, ‘my friends – even...” he smirked at the alicorn, “’My little ponies’. It takes work for you lot to be properly selfless – even Twilight said ‘my research’ at the start. Had to tie herself to it. But she could have thanked me for helping with her research, could have said my work added greatly to her research, or just thanked me for providing the basis for her research – but she said our research, didn’t she?” Another slap of the clock.

“I… will admit,” Celestia said slowly after a long moment, “Twilight enjoyed her time with you more than I expected… but that is now past,” Celestia stared across the table at Discord, “You made sure of that, on your last visit. This letter is her politely cutting you loose.” Click.

“You want to think that, don’t you?” Discord said, smiling sadly at her, “That your precious student couldn’t actually want to be around bad-old-me, not anymore. But, if that was really the case – if all she was really doing was being polite, why the invite for tea? And why...” he tapped a claw on the P.S. “...did she give me the time and date for her ritual? Checkmate, Diarchists.”

“Enough!” Celestia burst onto her hooves, the table flying across the room and crashing into the wall, “My student has finally found a way to put you and this entire debacle behind her, to finally find a way back onto the path of her life, and you still continue to muse about dashing back to her and throwing things into shambles again! Her current condition is due to you, and I never should have allowed her research! I allowed you to work with her because that was the only way to get her back, but her work is done. Twilight Sparkle is my student! Not your… your… entertainment!”

He sighed as he cracked his back, smirking at the alicorn, “You’ve always gone on about how special Twilight is, but I’m starting to think you don’t know the half of it,” Discord hopped onto the bed suddenly as he manifested a trunk and started tossing random nicknacks into it, “Well – got to pack. Ponyville calls.”

“Discord, this is not a joke!” Celestia said as she glared at him, “I do not want-”

“Yes, yes,” Discord waved at her dismissively, “You’ve made your opinion of me well known – repeatedly. Just about everyone has, really. You distrust me and think I’m going to wreck all the things again. Your sister thinks I’ll try, but is certain Twilight and-slash-or her friends would stop me. Even Fluttershy thinks my chaos is a ‘phase’ or something I have to work out of my system. Everyone else is somewhere on that whole spectrum of dismissive distrust,” he waved vaguely before slamming the chest shut and seating himself on top of it to stare at Celestia with a smirk, “Your ‘Faithful Student’, though? She thinks I’m an annoying, ill-mannered, prank-happy demigod with too much time on his claws. But she doesn’t treat me like some sort of walking time-bomb. She actually lets me be me – all chimeric fur-and-scaled chaos-using three meters of me,” He sat down on his trunk and looked at Celestia, his expression becoming so solemn so suddenly that Celestia couldn’t help but pause, “For the first time a centuries, I’ve got somebody who will do more them put up with me. I have somewhere I can actually be – but you can’t accept that such a place could be by your precious student’s side. So, who’s really projecting?”

“Discord, you can’t go,” Celestia said firmly, almost desperately, “If you leave, your past-”

“Will still be my past,” Discord said with a shrug before his usual smirk returned, “I’m sure you’ll find something else to try to bribe me into at some point. Anyhow – got to go. Tata!”

With a sudden snap of his claws, Discord vanished in a puff of smoke and confetti, leaving Celestia standing alone in a barren castle guest room. She stared at the floor between her hooves for a long moment before slamming down one hoof, “Dammit!”

A half-day’s train-ride away, another alicorn was having an equally stressful day. The field out behind the crystalline tree that was Twilight’s palace had been transformed, the formerly lush green grass displaced by curving rows of freshly turned earth, crisp lines of chalk standing out against the ground. Torches and bowls of incense were arrayed in geometric patterns around the outer edge of the circle. Inside the circle, a circle of copper just wide enough for a pony to stand in, gems on stands reflecting and refracting the light of the torches. It was a spell the likes of which Ponyville had not seen since the return of Nightmare Moon, or the transformation of Twilight Sparkle.

The purple draconequus herself was pacing around the edges of the circle, pausing at every stand and feature, crouching down to study the line-work or leaning in to study the bowls and the slowly smoking alchemical agents within them. Every now and then, she would dip one claw into a bowl and test the solution or tap at a crystal and let it softly ring before saying something softly under her breath and moving on to the next feature.

This had to be perfect, Twilight thought to herself as she continued her inspection. She would only have one chance at this, and failure could be… worse than disastrous. The sorts of magic involved here were the type that would make most unicorn’s hair turn white, both literally and metaphorically. Most of her professors from back in her school days would put this firmly in their ‘Thing I don’t work with’ category – then again, she was fairly certain she was on a few of those lists herself these days. The thought made her chuckle softly, a brief pause before she continued checking her ritual.

“Remember a funny joke?”

“No, I just-gah!” Twilight jumped at the sudden and unexpected voice, spinning around to face its source, “Fluttershy! When did you get here!?”

“Oh, um...” Fluttershy kicked at the dirt nervously for a moment, “...Two circuits ago? You looked busy, so I didn’t want to interrupt you...”

“No, no,” Twilight reassured her as she double-checked the closest stand, “You’re fine.”

“Oh, okay,” Fluttershy nodded shyly, “So, um… what was so funny?”

“Huh?” Twilight looked up again, blinking owlishly before she caught on, “Oh, that – just something funny about my school days,” She fiddled with a crystal for a moment before adding, “Actually, Discord would probably take their horror at this project as a point of pride...”

“He is… odd, like that,” Fluttershy nodded, “But he’s nice in his own ways.”

“He always took my blankets,” Twilight muttered as she checked a gem for cracks, “While I was using them! And then he’d make a fort of something and have my dictionaries and thesaurus's fight… again. Trying to get him to stay on task is like trying to corral parasprites on espresso,” She sighed, “I will admit though that he had his moments.”

“I saw you still had his flowers growing in front of the castle,” Fluttershy said with a nod.

“Poison Joke is a very useful plant!” Twilight shot back defensively, “And it would have been rude to throw out a gift and I couldn’t let them just die, so...” she coughs awkwardly as she goes back to her inspections, “It's just practical, that's all.” After that, a silence fell across the clearing but for once for Twilight it was a companionable one.”

“Do you… really think he’s gone?” Fluttershy asked hesitantly as Twilight moved into the inner array and began checking the copper ring, “I mean, he’s always been free to come and go, I guess, but I was always sure he’d come back around sooner or later. Now though...”

“It’s Discord,” Twilight replied simply as she worked, “Nobody can keep him in line for very long – not even Celestia, I think. And I can’t see Discord letting himself get into a rut. He’ll be back.”

Twilight had her back to Fluttershy, so she didn’t see the soft smile the yellow pegasus gave her as she spoke, “You sound really confident in him.”

“I’m confident that Discord will be Discord,” Twilight replied, tapping on the ring at random spots with a very peculiar looking tuning-fork, “I’m just expecting him to be himself.”

“Most ponies would say that's dangerous,” Fluttershy commented as she carefully examined a torch taller then she was.

“Well, most ponies are stupid,” Twilight replied without looking up from her work until her mind caught up with what her mouth had just said, “Ah! I’m sorry!” Twilight quickly spun around to face her friend as she frantically apologized, “I have no idea where that came from!” Twilight gave a pained groan as she thumped her head against the nearest hard surface – which just so happened to be the ground, “Stars and Stones, I really have been spending too much time with Discord.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re more comfortable expressing yourself,” Fluttershy said with a soft smile, “Keeping things in is never good, I think…”

“Discord would agree with you there,” Twilight said with a sigh as she pulled herself up, “He revels in getting others to drop whatever facades they have – patience, manners, common social edict…”

“He’s a lord of chaos,” Fluttershy said, her smile becoming wry, “It’s just something he has to work on.”

“One - he’s not just a lord of chaos,” Twilight pointed out as she set back to work, “He’s The Lord Of Chaos. Two, I think you might be misreading things.”

Fluttershy blinked owlishly as she watched her friend, “oh?”

“Chaos – actual, proper, chaos – is just noise,” Twilight explained as she carefully ran her claws over the copper ring, checking its fixtures, “Easy to ignore and tune out. Discord doesn’t do ‘tune out’ - he subverts, reverses, toys with and generally erodes one's understanding of a situation. He likes taking our lovely little illusions of order and harmony and poking it full of holes because he can. Because watching ponies panic over a stampede of bunnies isn’t just about the looks on their faces for him; it's about how he can show them that their world is… fragile, even when they act like it isn’t.”

“It sounds like you learned a lot from him, Twilight,” Fluttershy said after a long moment.

Twilight looked up from her work, considering Fluttershy’s words for a moment before replying with a shrug, “I guess I have.”

“So, do you agree with him?” Fluttershy asked as she watched Twilight work, “Do you think everything is just made up?”

“No, I don’t,” Twilight replied as she paused and adjusted one of fittings dotted along the ring, “Because I’ve always spent all of my time reading books and scrolls about legends and myths and a thousand ways our civilization can and has been threatened – or even destroyed. We usually learn from the close-calls, even if we sometimes forget the for a while. I think that’s something Discord never really understood – that we learn the most when things begin to change, and that’s how we grow as ponies.”

“Well, maybe he knows it now,” Fluttershy replied with a small a small nod, “So, how much longer are you going to wait?”

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked, a puzzled look on her face as she looked up at her friend.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Fluttershy replied quickly, “I just thought that you were waiting for Discord to show up...”

“What?!” Twilight stammered, “I wouldn’t … I mean I… He’s...” Twilight clammed up suddenly before taking a deep breath and managing to compose herself, “I included the planned time and date of the ritual in my letter. Whether or not he shows up on time is up to him.”

“Wasn’t the ritual supposed to be after lunch?” Fluttershy asked as she glanced over at the sun, sitting just on the horizon.

“I got nervous, okay?” Twilight admitted, “I mean, I could blow up. I don’t wanna blow up.”

“I suppose,” Fluttershy said with a nervous nod, “I was hoping to see him again though...”

Twilight glanced out across the fields, toward the setting sun, before sighing, “Me too, Fluttershy. Just give me a chance to send Spike and Flash out to-”

“Hey!” Twilight and Fluttershy both looked up in surprise as the shout, turning to see the young dragon and the pegasus guard approaching, the rest of the element-bearers close behind them, “We close to show time or not?”

“It seems we are, Spike,” Twilight replied with a small smile as her assistant got closer, “How’d you know?”

“Well, it was either now or you do the whole thing in the dark,” Spike replied with a shrug, “And as I told Flash here, you weren’t going to do that.”

“I find it highly unlikely that the Princess is so paranoid about this ritual to think that the reduction in visibility due to switching to candles would actually be a factor.”

“Actually,” Twilight began, “With large scale rituals like this, shadow-patterns can obfuscate ground-based sigil patterns, increasing the probability of missing-” he paused as she realized that Flash Sentry was staring at her in semi-concealed surprise, while Spike was just smirking. Behind him, the other four girls had their own flavors of smirks on, “Oh, yes, har-har,” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes, “Everyone mock the draconequus who’s been drawing in the dirt and computing eleven-dimensional spell matrix’s all day!”

“Well, to be fair sugarcube, you were suppose to start this shindig a’while ago,” Applejack commented, the orange earth pony dusting a odd-colored ember from her stenson as she spoke, “If he was gonna’ show...”

“See, told you!’ Rainbow Dash said as she flitted over to the other mare’s side, gently ribbing her, “Miss Draconeuus is still pining for her ‘partner’,” the blue pegasus barely suppressed a chuckle before turning back to Applejack, “Twenty bits, pay up.”

Twilight blinked owlishly at that, “Did everypony know about this?” She was answered with six ponies and one dragon awkwardly hmming and hah’ing as they all tried to not look in her direction. Twilight brought a claw up to her face with a groan, “Oh for the love of Celestia...”

“Darling, if I may be blunt,” Rarity spoke up, finally ending the strange quasi-silence, “It’s patently apparent that you and Discord have become familiar with each other, even if not to the extent that some of us might think,” She glanced at Rainbow at this, and Twilight couldn’t help but give an amused snort, given Rarity was usually the one making the dramatic assumptions. Rarity didn’t seem to notice as she continued, “But you are the Princess of Friendship – why wouldn’t you hope your friend would come back?”

“Yes, well,” Twilight said with a sigh, “It looks like my hopes were misplaced,” She gave the setting sun one final glance before giving a resigned sigh, “I’m going to start the initialization phase – you all, uh, might want to step back.”

The six ponies and one young dragon all judiciously took several steps back… several long, long steps. Twilight rolled her eyes as she turned to her spell array, raising both forelimbs, claws open and outstretched as she began to chant, "Nettles in the shadows,” she intoned, overlapping sub-harmonics weaving through her words as she channeled her power, “a wheel of hollies. Ten-folds and twenty-folds,” The world responded to her words, dust slowly beginning to whirl around her as the torches of the spell-circle burst into roaring blue flames. A dozen criss-crossing shadows turned the neat circle into a mind-bending array of geometries that seemed to roil and shift between moments, “ weaves the spider's thread of the nest to the branch."

The torches burst into full-on bonfires, a solid ring of fire swirling around the array for a few long moments before snuffing itself out in a burst of wind that swept out across the field. In its wake, a ring of molten glass ringed around the array still glowed faintly. The fires had compressed down into glowing spheres, a dozen of them along the outer edge. Twilight took a deep breath, letting her eyes slip closed as she felt the spell finally stabilize. That was the first hairy bit handled – the array should be stable until activation now, assuming her math had been right. Which it always was. There was one last thing she had to check though, before she finished this.

She wasn’t likely to see it again any time soon, after all.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and surveyed the spell before her.

Her last viewing of the Strings turned out to be a doozy, it seemed, as what looked like an entire city’s worth of filaments appeared to be both converging and diverging from a whirling black void that was the center of her spell array. The fact that the epicenter of her spell and the exact spot she intended to stand was an infinite maw of malignant roiling darkness wasn’t nearly as disturbing to her as it probably should have been. Instead, she was more curious as to what the little strings coming off said void were. It made the black sphere look almost… fuzzy. The strings converging on the point were likely probabilistic causality chains that the spell was altering or breaking. But the hairs from the sphere were something else. Some form of data conservation? Secondary manifestation of the spells scalar influence? Perhaps-

“Hey, Twi, you okay?” Applejack spoke up from behind her, breaking her out of her reverie.

“Sorry,” Twilight said as she shook her head, clearing her thoughts, “I got distracted.”

“What, by that?” Rainbow Dash asked, waving one hoof lazily at the glowing column at light, “We see something like that – what? Twice a month maybe? It’s not that-”

The spell suddenly Exploded, a frothing column of glowing, silvery-white fluid bursting upward with a loud ‘woosh’ before retracting and stabilizing into a rippling sphere of water floating maybe a hoofs-length above the ground.

“...Okay,” Rainbow Dash said after a moment, “That's actually not bad.”

“Fascinating,” Twilight said as she edged closer to the sphere, “Absolutely incredible. You can actually see the fluctuations in the event horizon...” Her hoof stretched out to touch it, but she hesitated.

“Problem, Darling?” Rarity asked as the others watched her.

“Well, this might decide to suck me in if I touch it, so...” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“Well, isn’t that the plan?” Rainbow replied, “Come on, get on with it!”

“Hey now!” Applejack snapped at the pegasus, “Don’t rush her. Or do you want to go through the creepy glowing magic portal yourself?”

“I like my coat where it is,” Rainbow replied with a shrug, “So no thanks.”

“Not helping, girls!” Twilight shouted back at them, exhaling slowly as she took one more looked out past them toward the road. She’d waited as long as she could. It was time.

“Alright everyone, stand back,” Twilight said as she stepped forward, “I don’t want you getting caught in any feed-”

“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” Every one turned as a small plume of dust appeared on the horizon and rapidly grew closer.

“Is that...” Rainbow began to ask.

“No, impossible!” Rarity quickly replied, before adding after a pause, “...actually, that would make it more likely, all things considered, wouldn’t it?”

The plume of dust rapidly resolved into a familiar serpentine shape, his legs moving fast enough to be a blur, "All right, I made it! Good morning, everyo-”

And then the Lord of Chaos, Master of Entropy and bane of Equestria’s existence for countless centuries tripped.

There was a resounding thud as his face hit the ground, more akin to a felled tree then anything, and then silence.

“Is he...” Fluttershy began to ask as she gulped nervously, “Is he dead?”

“I highly doubt that,” Applejack replied even as she hesitantly nudged at the body, “This is Discord we’re talkin’ about after all...”

“So,” Rainbow said as she examined him herself, casually lifting one of his forelimbs and letting it drop, “Dibs on his wallet.”

“Rainbow Dash, the nerve!” Rarity nearly shouted, a look of indignation written across her face, before she gave a small ‘humph’, “As if Discord would even have a wallet.”

“Third rear pocket on the right,” Twilight replied through the claw she’d buried her face in, the other pointing vaguely, “Given the time of month, it's probably a kettle or something.”

“Uh, Twi, he doesn’t have any pockets,” Applejack pointed out, “Or, heck, pants.”

“Like that would stop him,” Twilight replied as she walked over, kneeling down next to the comatose serpent. With little hesitation, she hoisted up his head and examined him. His tongue lolled out as she tilted his skull back, popping one eye open before letting the eyelid shut with a snap, “Ugh – such a baby,” Twilight grumbled as she grabbed one oh his ears and stretched it out before calmly speaking into it, “Discord, Hubris Comics canceled ‘Far Trek’”

“THE BASTARDS!!” Discord shouted as he sat bold upright, his mane briefly bursting into flames as he flew to his feet before quickly going out, “Wait, no, no – I’m cool, I’m cool...” He took a deep breath before turning to Twilight, “’Sup?”

Twilight gave him a lopsided smirk, “You have horrendous timing, you know that?”

“Well, you know me,” he replied with a shrug, “Always have to make an entrance.”

“Yes, well, Entrance done,” Twilight sighed as she turned back to the spell, Waving him toward the others, “Now stand over there while I finish with the spell...”

“What!?” Discord exclaimed as he gesticulated wildly, “Just like that? Not even a ‘how do you do’? I ran here from Canterlot, you know! Actually ran, too – your freaky spell managed to block my abilities.”

“Our spell,” Twilight corrected, glancing over her shoulder at him, a small smile finding its way onto her face, “...I was wondering if you were going to come.”

“After that letter, how could I not?” There was the soft ‘bamf’ of displaced air and a heavy thud, and Twilight finally turned around to see Discord laid out on a chaise lounge, one arm dramatically draped over his eyes, “My dear, sweet, Twilight, so desperate to see me again, I-Ow!” he was cut off as small rock bounced off his snout.

“Cut it out,” Twilight chastised him, “Everypony is already staring and Rarity doesn’t need more ideas,” she gave the couch a light poke, causing it to vanish in a puff of smoke. Her other claw reached out to grab him before he could fall, pulling him onto his feet as she spoke, “So, what happened with Celestia?”

“Oh, you know,” Discord said with a shrug, “Threats, attempted coercion, a bit of cryptic horseapples – the usual. She’ll get over it.”

“Will you?”

Discord paused at that, thinking for a moment, before jabbing a thumb over his back and saying, “Is there a reason they’re so far back, or did they finally get tired of you burning their eyebrows off?”

Twilight just shook her head before gently shooing him in that direction, “If anybody should worry them about their eyebrows, its you – now go wait with them while I finish this up,” Twilight turned and managed three steps before she felt Discord’s claw wrap around her arm, “What are you-”

“It depends,” Discord said, and at Twilight’s raised eyebrow, he continued, “If I’ll get over it, it depends on you,” Twilight looked at Discord, and she could see the hints of fear in his eyes, “On what you do when you come out of that thing. I...” He let go of her arm as he stepped back unsteadily, “I’ve been a solo act for over ten centuries, Twilight – I don’t think I want to be alone again.”

Twilight replied wordlessly, smiling softly as she reached out and grabbed him, pulling Discord close as she wrapped him with both wings and forelegs, “You silly, stupid old goat,” she said softly as she reached up to gently kiss him on the cheek before spinning him around to face the gaggle of ponies and dragon watching their exchange with a mixture of confusion, awe, and maybe a little horror, “You won’t be.”

And then Twilight gave him a hard shove, sending him tumbling into said gaggle. A half-dozen pairs of hooves, wings or claws caught him as he stumbled to a stop. Footing regained, Discord looked back toward Twilight.

A moment of silence passed between the two, and with a nod Twilight ended the wordless exchange, turned around, and walked into the light.

Wherever I Would Be (Epilogue)

Twilight grumbled in annoyance as the sunlight streamed through the window, finally finding just the right angle to burn through her eyelids and pull her out of her much needed slumber. Celestia knew she was prone to long late-night research binges. The least she could do was aim the sun elsewhere. Given how often she’d saved the world, Twilight figured she’d earned that.

Grumblings about solar mechanics was interrupted as a second and third thought entered her mind – one, why was she cold and two, what the blazes is that sound?

With a groan of annoyance, Twilight forced her eyes open, one hoof coming up to shield herself from the sun as the other levered her over to see what the sound was.

Discord was sprawled out across half her bed, somehow managing to both get himself wrapped up in all of her blankets and sprawl his limbs across the bed. And he was snoring like a pair of kazoo’s were shoved up his nostrils… which, all things considered, was a distinct possibility. “Why am I not surprised,” she grumbled as she flipped him over and freed some of her blankets.

Discord gave a snort as he grabbed blindly at the blankets, “I was using that,” he mumbled, still half asleep while stealing the blankets again.

“I thought you were moving back in with Fluttershy,” Twilight said, giving him a prod before giving up on the blankets and simply grabbing his wing and pulling it over herself, “What gives?”

“The bear took my hammock,” Discord said by way of response.

“Sure,” Twilight mumbled back as she snuggled back into her pillow, ready for another few hours of sweet, sweet-

“Rise and Shine, Twilight!” The voice of her young draconian assistant echoed through the room as he slammed the door open.

Twilight resisted the urge to groan again as she slowly pushed Discord’s wing off of her and sat up, “Spike, do you know what time it is?”

The purple dragon stepped back out into the hall, glancing down the hall before stepping back in, “Uh, ten twenty-two?”

Twilight blinked owlishly at that before flopping back with a groan, “Horseapples,” Reluctantly Twilight pulled herself out of the bed and onto her hooves, “alright – damage?”

“Already reworked your schedule,” Spike handed her a scroll as she walked past, Twilight grabbing it with her telekinesis as she stepped into the bathroom and began her morning ablutions, “You’re meeting with the Yakistani delegation can’t move, so...”

“Cut my research time this morning short, right,” Twilight finished for him as she ran a brush through her mane, “We’re still good for the trip to Zecora’s then?”

“Barely,” Spike replied, “Have to take breakfast to go though...”

“Not a problem,” Twilight replied as she stepped out of the bathroom, already heading for the stairs, “Ready to go?”

“Always ready!” Spike replied , snapping of a sharp salute before pausing and staring back at her bed, “What about Discord?”

“Eh, leave him,” she replied with a shrug, “I’m sure Flash won’t mind some help today.”

“What was that about help?” the orange Pegasus in question asked from the base of the stairs as the pair descended, “Also, the security preparations for the guests are complete.”

“Excellent! We wouldn’t want any experiments breaking out at a bad time,” Twilight said with a smile as she reached the bottom of the stairs before a thought seemed to occur to her, “Flash, Discord is asleep in my room again – try to make sure he doesn’t unsecure anything, would you kindly?”

“Can I just lock him in your room, ma’am?” he asked as he glanced past Twilight and up the stairs, “It would be safer that way.”

“Please, as if that would stop him,” Twilight said with a sigh as she turned to Flash, “As much as I would wish that would work it would just give him ideas and he’s right behind me isn’t he?”

Pegasus and dragon both blinked owlishly, “Huh,” Spike said after a long moment, “So he is. What do you know?”

Flash’s reaction was less urbane, “When did you get here!?”

“Just now,” Discord replied with a shrug before pulling a platter of toast out from behind him, “planning a trip without me, Twi?”

“I was, yes,” Twilight replied as she perused the various combinations of bread and jam, “It seemed like a shame to interrupt your much-need beauty sleep, after all.”

Discord shrugged at that, “Eh – forty seven points.”

“Out of how many?” Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow before selecting a slice of raisin swirl with some sort of hazelnut spread, “If you’re going to be around today, you can help Flash with some of our experiments,” she summoned a thick book as she headed past, telekinetically flipping it open to a page filled with columns of compact text before passing it to the Draconequus, “That resonance crystal array should be hitting peak harmonics today.”

“Ooh...” Discord eagerly snatched up the book, flipping though the pages, “Oh, if these work out like we think they should...” he chuckled, “The bunny isn’t going to know what-hey, wait!” he quickly turned back to Twilight, eyes narrowed, “You’re trying to distract me! And what if I have my own plans, hm?”

“I am and do what you want,” Twilight replied with a shrug as she reached the front door, another burst of purple magic pulling it open, “I’m confident that Flash can take care of things regardless. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have a appointment with a Zebra to keep,” she was half-way out the door before she spun around and added, “Oh, one more thing – you’re dropping in for dinner I assume?”

“Depends,” Discord shrugged as he toyed with the experimental log book, having pages disassemble and re-assemble themselves, “Why?”

“If you are, could you invite Fluttershy?” Twilight asked, “I’ve been trying to organize a spa day with her all week. Anyhow, Bye!”

With that, Twilight was out the door and off toward the Everfree forest, her faithful assistant close behind her, “So, are you sure leaving Discord at home is a good idea?,” Spike asked nervously as he walked along next to her.

“Discord is well aware of protocol,” Twilight replied as she took a bite of her toast. Hmmm – still warm, “And most of the experiments are from before last week anyway.”

“That’s what I mean though,” Spike replied, “What about your project from this week? That mini-spell array thing. How do you think he’ll react to you not telling him about that sort of thing?”

“Probably like a kicked puppy,” Twilight admitted with a sigh, “But the Kaleidostick isn’t even past the conceptual phase, and besides...”

Spike went a few more steps before realizing that Twilight had come to a stop, “Twilight? Besides what?”

“Besides,” Twilight continued, head dipped low, “If I tell him I’m trying to replicate pony-draconequus shifting and then it doesn’t work...” she trailed off briefly before finally finishing, “...I just don’t want to get his hopes up.”

“Oh, cheer up Twilight!” Spike said as she jumped onto her back, “It’s Discord! I’m sure he’d appreciate the effort,” he paused before adding with a shrug, “Or at least the explosion.”

Twilight chuckled weakly at that, but continued walking, “Thanks Spike.”

“Any time,” the dragon replied as he reclined on her back. They continued in companionable silence until they reached the Everfree Forest proper. “You know, I just thought of something.” Spike said as they stepped into the psuedo-twilight of the woods.

“And what’s that?” Twilight asked as she glanced him over one shoulder.

“That, despite everything,” Spike explained, “Opalescence never tried anything.”

Twilight blinked in confusion at that until her memory managed to dig the relevant conversation up. She couldn’t repress the bout of laughter that the memory triggered, and she didn’t bother trying to as Spike joined in.

Laughter of pony and dragon echoed through the woods, weaving its way through the trees as, far into the sea of trees, buried under dirt and rubble at the center of a dark clearing, something stirred.

Author's Note

0

And it only took 1506 days! (But who's counting?)

Special thanks to Lopoddity, for spawning the idea and letting me use their artwork as the basis for a cover - this would literally not exist if not for you. To DB_Explorer, for acting as a sounding board for 4 years. To Mac349, Trippy998, Just A Fabulous Cat, Doctor Candor and skysthelimit, for serving as proof-readers when I remembered use them - their work made this story better and that I didn't take more advantage of their services is a crime.

And, finally, to readers like you - Both the ones who have been here from the start to the ones reading it just now; I've hoped you've enjoyed the ride as much as I enjoyed writing it.

(Now, If you'll excuse me - I'm going to go hide.)

Fin

Pony No More

She had done it. It had taken weeks of work with several long nights and tracking down what was now a good third of her Crystal Palace's new book collection, but she had done it.

Chaos magic—The mere concept of it had been a complete outside context problem until Discord showed up. Every attempt to study, quantify, or just plain understand it had resulted in little more than frustration and mane pulling. The academy in Canterlot had gotten nowhere since Discord's return.

But the Academy didn't have Discord for a neighbor. It had taken several promises to Fluttershy to 'play nice' and far too much dealing with Discord being, well, Discord, but she obtained the data she thought she needed. The spellwork laid out on the scroll before her was the final culmination of her research. If it worked, she would be the first pony to experience a new field of magic in centuries—or maybe months, depending on how one counted either the Hearth's Warming and her own ascension to Alicorndom.

"Uh, Twi?" The purple alicorn turned around as Spike spoke up from where he was watching her. The baby dragon leaned to one side for a moment, looking around Twilight and at the collection of potions and items that surrounded the scroll on the small table. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Of course I'm sure it’s a good idea, Spike," Twilight replied as she turned back to her spell preparations. "New knowledge is never something to be scared of. Besides, Discord seemed so sure I couldn't make this work. It'll be nice to wipe that smug grin off his face." He had been slightly more vindictive of her than usual, but Discord had gone above and beyond the call of duty in regards to causing chaos during her studies. She didn't care how pretty he said they were; Poison Joke does not make a good bouquet. "Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

Spike brought a claw to his forehead with a faint 'smack'. "You just had to say that, didn't you? Maybe you'll rip a hole in space or something."

"That seems highly unlikely," Twilight replied as she started her final preparations. An aura of purple magic then wrapped around a nearby paper and scroll, a quill working its way down the checklist as she made sure everything was in order. Everything had to be just right for her test to work properly.

Spike shuffled nervously behind her. "Still, maybe I should go get the girls, just in case?"

"Spike," Twilight whipped around again, leaning over to give the baby dragon a reassuring nuzzle. "I'll be fine. This is just another experiment. How many of those have I done before?"

"Three thousand two hundred and seventeen," Spike answered almost automatically.

Twilight grinned. "And how many of them ripped a hole in space?"

Spike sighed. "None. Still, doesn't that just mean you're overdue?"

Twilight returned to her spell, checking off the last item on her list before tucking it away. "That's a statistical fallacy, Spike. Now, stand back. I'm going to try the spell." Her horn flared to life, glowing dimly at first before it started growing brighter. Sparks began to dance around her. They jumped and arced around her hooves in a wide circle before congregating in two narrow bands to either side of her. Instead of dissipating, however, the crackling only grew more fervent until the sparks seemed to blend into a pair of small dancing ribbons of light.

Twilight kept pouring on the magic though, channeling it into the spell despite a sudden upshot in the drain it seemed to be placing on her. She was close. She could feel it. The two narrow ribbons started to grow, upward at first before they slowly began to encircle her. Her mane began to float around her as the spell lifted her from her hooves and suspended her in the air.

"Twilight," Spike said nervously, but the purple alicorn had tuned out everything around her as she focused on the spell. The ribbons of iridescent light wrapped around her, and soon, they completely concealed her from the world, leaving a glowing cocoon of light hanging midair in the middle of the Palace's main lab.

Inside the cocoon, Twilight's purple and pink mane danced around her as if she was in a typhoon, but otherwise, she felt nothing. That was until she felt the first jolt course through her. "Ow!" Twilight jumped at the shock. It was relatively minor, little more than the static discharge one gets from a door handle, but it had been unexpected.

What was more disconcerting was when she realized that she was no longer casting the spell, and the spell was still churning along. "Spi—" she started to shout, but another bolt of electricity cut her off. It was quickly followed by another and then another. A detached part of her, not busy panicking over the fact she was trapped in a runaway spell, noted that the strikes didn't hurt per se. Instead, each spot they hit began to tingle in a most singularly unusual way.

Even as the bolts continued, the spell pressed on with whatever it had planned as more ribbons snaked their way around her, gently coaxing her wings out until they were fully unfurled, even as others gently wrapped around her legs, her torso, and even her tail.

Outside the magical cyclone, Spike was watching in a mixture of horror and awe as the spell unfolded. The originally pony-sized cocoon began to stretch out until it was more than twice its original size, flaring out around the middle even as it tapered near the end as it spun.

And the spin seemed to keep getting faster as well, whirling around at what were soon dizzying speeds as a faint whistle filled the space before. Suddenly, the entire construct exploded in a cacophony of sound and light. Ponies walking past the tree-shaped crystal structure paused and looked up as light bright enough to be visible even at midday poured from every window, accompanied by a high-pitched whistle that peaked at an ear-piercing volume before slowly fading out. A few ponies just looked at each other and shrugged before going about their business. Such things happened when one lived in the same town as the Element of Magic.

Back inside, Spike coughed as he waved a claw in a futile attempt to disperse some of the smoke and dust that now filled the room. "Twilight?" he called out. "Are you alright?" A faint groan answered back, and he quickly turned toward the sound.

The shape that began to emerge from the smoke was not the one he had been expecting. Instead of the expected equine form, the silhouette was a long and serpentine shape. A tuft of purple and pink hair languidly flicked out of the smoke, along with the scaly pink tail it was attached to. The tail ended at a purple, furred body, which twitched along with the feline-like hind legs, a shade darker than the body, that seemed to be trying to get reoriented with the ground. The whole body twisted in a way that no pony's could, leaving a pair of purple feathered wings—a shade lighter than the rest of its body—draping across the ground. A pair of avian arms in the same shade as the hind legs were cradling the head, clawed hands running through the light purple fur of the chest and neck, passing through the purple and pink-striped mane and around the elongated equine-esque ears before pausing as it seemed to notice the base of one of the two long darkish purple horns extending back from its head. "Ugh," the strange purple creature groaned in Twilight's voice. "Are you alright?"

"Am I alright?" Spike replied. "What happened to you?"

The figure slowly cracked open one eye to look at Spike. A purple iris with a pink center, save for the black slit of the pupil focused on him after a moment. "Woah... dizzy. What are you talking about?"

Spike gulped. "Is that... still you, Twilight?"

"Of course its me! Why would -" Twilight went to stomp a forehoof down when she finally noticed her clawed appendage. "...what?"

"Twilight..." Spike gulped. "Why do you look like Discord?"

Twilight just laid there on the ground, staring at her claw. "Spike, I think you should go get the girls now." She barely noticed the sound of the laboratory door swinging open and slamming shut again as the young dragon bolted off while she continued to stare at her new limb in a mix of awe and horror. "Well, that didn't go as planned." A flurry of papers went dancing across the room as her tail twitched. "Okay, Sparkle - deep breaths. Stay calm. Panicking isn't going to help you…"

A beat.

Another beat.

"...Nope." Twilight reared back, tail swishing around her feline feet as she proceeded to panic. "Waaaaaaaah!?! What is going on?! This wasn't supposed to happen! Why!!?" She reached for her magic, hoping to do something to reverse her draconequified status, but she couldn't feel it. Instead of the usual steady thrum of magic, all she felt was a tumultuous muddle of strange energies that skittered and squirmed away as she tried to hold onto it. "I... I can't use magic."

Twilight's panic ebbed for a moment before redoubling. "What if I'm stuck like this? What will my mother think? What will Shining think?" She gasped. "What will Celestia think?! What am I-"

Knock, Knock.

Twilight was jolted out of her self-study and internal ranting by a knock on the laboratory door far higher up than Spike was capable of.

Twilight turned to the door, but found her limbs no longer responded as she was accustomed to - and promptly landed right on her face.

"Oh, Twilight~" Discord's voice sing-songed from the other side of the door. "How goeth your little experiments?"

Oh sweet Celestia, and she thought her day couldn't get any worse. "It's... it's fine! Go away Discord!" She would have smacked herself if she could have managed the limb coordination at the moment. That was the last thing she needed to tell Discord.

"Not based on that crashing, it's not." Discord replied through the door as the handle jiggled. "As a good friend, I should come in and make sure you're alright..."

"No!" Twilight shouted. "I'm... not decent!" Which was technically true, from a certain point of view.

"You ponies rarely wear clothes." Discord pointed out. "I'm coming in, Sparkle."

"No!" Twilight cried, but it was too late - the door was already swinging open.

"Really, what's with all the ruc..." Discord trailed off as he saw Twilight. The two just stared at each other for a moment, Discord's eyes wide as his fur seemed to fluff out.

"W-Well?" Twilight demanded as she shakily got onto her hind legs, using a nearby bookcase as support. "What ever you have to say, just-"

Discord held up a single claw to silence, his fur flattening back out as he stalked around Twilight in a slow circle. Twilight found herself obeying, Discord's uncharacteristically serious demeanor unnerving her. After a few minutes of the silent treatment, she couldn't take it any more. "Discord-"

"Shhh!" Discord silenced her with a wave of a claw. "Don't speak. Not yet." He tilted his head a little. "Let me look at you."

Twilight felt herself begin to blush. "What are you doing...?"

"Just..." Discord replied, "taking this all in..." He treaded closer to her, and Twilight found herself leaning back and into her bookcase. Even with her newly elongated body, he was still a good head or so taller than her with both of them on their hind limbs. Some part of her brain noted that for later consideration. "I have to say," Discord continued as he studied her horns. "This is a surprise - after three millennia, I wasn't expecting to see a draconequus again."

"You mean another draconequus." Twilight corrected, latching on to the one normal thing she had come across this morning - even if that was a grammatical debate with Discord. "Since you are a draconequus..."

"In the same way Celestia is a pony." Discord replied with a shrug, still absorbed in examining Twilight. "I am the Lord of Chaos, after all - There are perks. Like my fashionable asymmetry."

"Discord, this isn't a joke!" Twilight hissed back. "Now turn me back!"

Discord circled back around to look Twilight in the eyes as he quirked an eyebrow. "You make it sound like I did this to you."

"Who else would have done this to me!?" Twilight asked, gesturing at herself with one claw.

Discord shrugged. "You seem fairly deft at getting yourself into trouble. You were trying to control chaos magic, no?"

Twilight nodded. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, if you want to be able to use chaos magic," Discord summoned himself a little cotton candy cloud as if to demonstrate. "Can't think of a better way than to turn yourself into the only things that could."

Before Twilight could ask him to elaborate further, the Laboratory door creaked open as a familiar pink-maned yellow pegasus slowly stepped into the room. "I'm sorry to intrude, Twilight, but Discord said that he was going to visit you all of a sudden and-" Fluttershy froze as she saw Discord and Twilight. "Oh my. I'm sorry - I didn't mean to, uh, interrupt you..."

Twilight was about to ask what she was talking about when it clicked. Discord was standing over her. She was pinned up against her bookcase and, by her own admission, quite flustered. Discord was far closer than was in any way proper, was grinning down at her, and had a rose between his teeth. 'When did he...?' Twilight started to think, but decided against it as she put one clawed hand against his chest. "Back off."

Discord, surprisingly, acquiesced and put a few steps between them, but neither the grin or the rose vanished.

Fluttershy by this point had averted her eyes and was slowly back toward the door. "You didn't tell me you were visiting another draconequus, Discord. I thought you were visiting Twilight." She paused before adding "Actually, I didn't know that there were other draconequi..."

"It's me, Fluttershy." Twilight said with a sigh. "It's Twilight."

Fluttershy looked at the purple curiously. "Twilight? Why are you a draconequus?"

"That is an excellent question, my dear Fluttershy." Discord curled his way over to the timid pegasus and coiled around her. "I think she is just trying to put the moves on me." He waggled his eyebrows. "Seems Celestia has some competition."

"It was an accident!" Twilight nearly shouted in a combination of embarrassment and anger. "I was trying to control chaos magic!"

"Oh, I see..." Fluttershy replied timidly before adding. "...how did that turn you into a draconequus?"

"I have no idea!" Twilight slumped down against the bookcase.

"I do!" Discord said as he puffed himself up proudly. "Behold, I know something that the great Twilight Sparkle does not!"

"Care to share?" Twilight growled.

Discord mimed considering it for a moment. "Nah. Better wait until the others show up."

Twilight swore she could feel herself starting to combust out of anger, but before she could spontaneously ignite, a familiar unicorn trotted into the room. "Twilight," Rarity started as she walked in, "Spike told me something dreadful had happened and that - OHMYWORD!"

Twilight brought one clawed hand to her face as she vaguely waved the other one in Rarity's direction. "Don't ask. I'm just going to wait until the others show up. It'll be quicker."

The last three of her friends to arrive all had their own reactions that would have been quite interesting to Twilight if she was in any other state. Pinkie's was a 'Gasp' - not an actual gasp, mind you, but her saying 'Gasp' before she started bombarding Discord with questions.

Applejack was naturally much more subdued than the pink party pony, the orange mare simply taking in Twilight's state before taking a seat next to a still semi-stunned Rarity with nothing more than a 'huh'.

Rainbow Dash, naturally, entered via the window.

"Waah!" Spike rolled off the blue pegasus's back as Rainbow came to a rapid halt, skidding across the Laboratory's stone floor before coming to a stop at Twilight's feet. "Dash, you do realize we have doors and stuff, right?" He rose to his feet, rubbing at where his head had smacked into the ground as he took in the other occupants of the room. "No wonder we couldn't find Fluttershy - she was already here."

"Figures as much." Rainbow replied as she readjusted her wings. "Now, what were you - woah!" Rainbow hopped back into the air, hovering around Twilight. "You weren't kidding Spike! She's totally a dragonequine."

"Draconequus." Twilight idly corrected. "Close though. I expected you to be earlier, Rainbow."

"Had to help Spike find the other's." She replied with a shrug. "I would have been here sooner if we had known Fluttershy was already here."

"So," Applejack cut in. She was finding Twilight's listless behavior somewhat unsettling. "Now that we're all here, mind telling us what happened?"

"I can tell you what happened." All eyes - Twilight's included - turned to Discord. The draconequus had seated himself in a wingback chair that hadn't been there a moment before, blowing bubbles from a pipe as he relaxed in a crimson smoking jacket. "She ate an energy field larger than her head."

"Say what now?" Applejack arched an eyebrow.

Discord rolled his eyes. "She tried to control chaos magic." He waggled his pipe at Twilight. "I assume you tried to combine chaos magic with your usual stuff?" Twilight could only nod. Discord sighed as he returned his pipe to his mouth. "Chaos magic doesn't play well with unicorn magic - not a big surprise really. If you go trying to control it, its going to give you exactly what you want in the most straight-forward way possible." He gave his pipe another puff. "It turns you into a draconequus."

"How does that make any sense!?" Rainbow Dash yelled after a moment of everypony just staring at him.

Discord just arched an eyebrow at the blue pegasus. "Well, when she mastered your magic it turned her into an Alicorn. I imagine this is similar - I'm not big on the whole 'theoretical' thing. I much prefer practical applications."

"So, let me see if I have this right." Twilight said as she stared at the draconequus. "Chaos magic turned me into a draconequus because I wanted to control it?"

"More or less." Discord replied. "I imagine if it were any other pony they would have just blown up or... something."

"Blow up!?" Twilight squeaked. "You never said anything about blowing up when I was interviewing you!"

"I didn't think you would actually be crazy enough to try this." Discord replied, dismissing the chair and his accessories as her hopped to his feet, a collection of disembodied gloves joining him as he applauded. "Bravo, Miss Sparkle - a delightful bit of chaos."

"Okay," Twilight rubbed at the bridge of her nose before starting as she poked herself in the eye with a claw. "Ow. Just... turn me back already."

"Can't." Discord said with a shrug.

Twilight glared at the lord of chaos. "Can't, or won't?"

"Can't." Discord replied. "My magic would just bounce off your magic - something of a defensive measure, I would imagine. Again, not my field."

"So what am I supposed to do!?" Twilight snapped. "I can't even walk right now!"

"Well," Discord replied drolly. "If you turned yourself into a draconequus, I imagine you can turn yourself back."

"How?" Twilight asked. "I can't even control my magic now!"

Discord shrugged. "I'd suggest you get some practice then. Although..."

Twilight glared at him. "What now?"

"Oh, its nothing." He waved a claw dismissively. "Just thinking that, if you wanted, I might be able to teach you a thing or two."

Twilight considered it for all of two seconds. "I'll manage." She turned to the rest of her friends. "After all, my friends can help me out."

"Fine then." Discord replied as he turned for the door in a dramatic huff. "I'll just show myself out." He glanced back at Twilight from the door for a moment. "One parting piece of advice - nudge it, don't force it.”

Four hours, a great deal of frustration and one very nice spot of tea later, courtesy of Fluttershy, the others had left and Twilight was left with just Spike to assist her. She didn't blame her friends for leaving - she had told most of them to leave after a couple of hours anyway.
The first two hours had been the rather boring task of relearning basic motor control. Spike had turned out to be an excellent source of advice regarding bipedal locomotion, but she eventually settled into a more familiar quadrupedal gait. That just left the other task at hoof. Or claw. Whatever.

"Twilight, you've been glaring at that apple for twenty minutes." Spike groaned as he slumped at the table they were sitting at. Across from him, the purple draconequus was staring very intently at an apple sitting on the table that was in the process of doing exactly nothing.

"Gah!" Twilight rocked back in the chair as she gave up on her latest attempt at spellcasting. "This is ridiculous! A levitation spell should be easy - Discord levitates himself all the time." she leaned her chair back onto all four legs as she plucked one of her notebooks from the table and started flipping through it with one claw. She had to admit, with her magic currently non-functional, prehensile digits were extremely useful. "At this rate I'm never going to be able to transform myself back."

"Well, at least you're symmetrical." Spike replied as he hopped to his feet with only a slight wobble. "I'm gonna go make us some food. You want anything in particular?"

"No." Twilight replied without looking up from her notes. "Anything is fine. Thank you, Spike." If the young dragon said anything else on his way out, Twilight didn't hear it as she scoured her notes for anything useful. She slumped onto the desk as her search came up with naught. One of her horns tapped against the table as she turned to look at the apple sitting to one side. Discords parting words pushed their way to the forefront of her mind, as much as she wished otherwise. She gave a snort as she glared at the apple. 'Well, it's not like anything else has worked.'

She reached out with her magic again. Like before, it seemed like a strange maelstrom but now she had a much more specific way of describing it - it was like a sea of dancing yarn in the middle of a hurricane. Thousands of strings of every size danced around the edge of her awareness and seemed to come from everywhere and everything. Twilight exhaled slowly as she focused on the single thin string that seemed to emanate from the apple.

Normal magic was a matter of channeling your magic and your will at what you wanted to effect or otherwise just forcing the magic into the right shape. You could do it gently, sharply, efficiently or with sheer overwhelming power but it all boiled down to a simple imposition of will - the tricky part was knowing just what you were building after you got your way.

Every attempt of that thus far had been met with her efforts sliding off and dissipating like smoke in a breeze. The harder she pushed, the faster she lost control. This time, she took an altogether different approach. She let her magic coil out, a thin fiber of will that stretched out until it started to entwine around the apple's string. as the two ethereal lines met, Twilight could almost feel the way the small piece of fruit was entangled with the world around it. Its small amount of inertia resisting the even smaller eddies of air that pushed against it, the friction against the surface of the table, pull of gravity pinning it down - a thousand little filaments that tied the apple to the world around it. And one line that tied it to her.

The purple draconequus sent the gentlest force of will she could manage down the connection, with just the simplest of ideas - a simple change of vector.

The apple's line thrummed softly in time with her own string as the force of gravity gently flipped for the fruit.

Twilight cracked her eyes back open just in time to see the apple gently float up from the table.

Spike walked back in a moment later to the surreal sight of a purple draconequus happily bouncing around the table, an apple bobbing along in the air next to her in time to her exclamations of 'Yes! Yes! Yes!'

"Oh, hey." Spike raised an eyebrow at his guardian's antics as he deposited a tray of sandwiches on the table. "You got it to float."

"Yes!" Twilight bounded over to the dragon, pulling him off his feet as she crushed him in a hug. "I did it! That stupid old goat was right but I don't even care! I can still do magic!"

"Gah-Can't... breath." Spike sputtered. "T-Twilight..."

"Oh!" Twilight released her vice-grip on Spike and dropped him back onto his feet. "Got a little excited." She plucked the apple out of the air before taking a bite of it. "But isn't this great?"

"So," Spike asked as he caught his breath. "Now what?"

Twilight's smile diminished as she took another bite of her apple. "As much as it pains me to admit this, Discord was right. This magic is nothing like what ponies are used to, and there's only one being who does know anything about it..."

"Oh come on. He's not that bad, is he?" Spike asked as he hopped back into his seat. "I thought you were starting to get along with him after the Tirek thing."

Twilight gave a little huff as she settled back into her own chair. "That was before he thought it would be funny to give me a bunch of poison joke on Hearts and Hooves day." Twilight sighed. "But it doesn't look like I have much of a choice if I want to be equine again any time soon. I need Discord's help."

Spike glanced around the room as he finished his first sandwich. "Huh." He said as he swallowed the last piece. "I was sort of expecting him to pop up at that."

"He probably wants me to have to walk through town like this." Twilight belatedly realized. "That's why he gave me the freebie and left - he knew I would have to go to him for help!"

"So, wait..." Spike said between bites of his second sandwich. "Wouldn't that mean Discord was planning to help you from the beginning?"

Twilight blinked as she processed this. "It...actually does..." She shook her head and got to her feet. "It doesn't matter! Let's go, Spike." The dragon grabbed another sandwich before following after the pony-turned-draconequus.

The walk through town, especially given that it was now mid-afternoon, went exactly as Twilight was more-or-less expecting. That is, there were a great many ponies who stopped at whatever they were doing and stared as a Discord look-alike trotted down the street with a baby dragon a few steps behind. Twilight couldn't really blame them, really - nopony had, by Discord's own admission, seen a female draconequus in three millennia. And their only real experience with the species was Discord - a familiar trio near a flower shop fainted outright, no doubt as the ramifications of two "Discords" existing hit home.

"Shouldn't you, uh," Spike said nervously as he looked at the entire town looking at them. "maybe tell the town what's going on? They seemed a little freaked out."

Twilight paused and turned to her draconic protégée to inform him that such an announcement would require locating the mayor, when the problem solved itself before it had a chance to become such.

The sound of a nervous throat clearing brought Twilight's and Spike's attention back to in front of them, where Mayor Mare was standing somewhat nervously as she fiddled with her neckerchief. The silver-haired mare coughed again, adjusting her glasses before finally speaking. "Miss Draconequus? Good evening. As the duly-designated representative of the town of Ponyville, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the next convenient parallel dimension."

Twilight and Spike just stared at her for a moment. Somewhere in the distance, a stallion shouted. "That 'oughta do it. Thanks very much, Mayor."

Twilight resisted the urge to facehoof, if only because it would require borrowing the Mayor's hooves. "Madam Mayor, it's me - Twilight Sparkle."

The mayor blinked. "Princess Sparkle?"

"Yes." Twilight replied. "and don't call me Princess. I've had a slight accident with an experiment and, well..." She gestured to herself. "I would appreciate it if you could inform the rest of the town before everypony assumes something... apocalyptic has transpired."

"O-of course, Pri-" The mayor cut herself off. "Of course, Miss Sparkle. If I might ask - what are you going to be doing?"

Twilight sighed as she started down the road again past the Mayor. "Asking for help."

She felt Discord before Fluttershy's cottage came into view - a low thrum that shot from her toes all the way to the tips of her ears, like some massive giant was strumming a proportionally sized cello deep beneath her transfigured feet. She found Discord lounging in what looked like one of Rarity's fainting couches as he lazily played some sort of bizarre variant of knucklebones; he'd tap on the small rubber ball before him, sending the metal jacks bouncing into the air where he'd try to pluck them mid-arc. A familiar looking cloud floated nearby, a pink fluff that was slowly raining chocolate into a waiting cup.

Twilight couldn't help but stare at the scene before her. Now that she knew what she was looking for, Discord's casual disregard for causality was jaw-dropping. She had been overjoyed to manage a counter-gravitational force on a single apple. She could feel the strings of influence he was plucking, a pulse of unidirectional force sending the dozen or so jacks upward with every tap of the ball. A dozen miniature reactionless drives just to play a game.

"Oh, hello Twilight." Discord grinned as he saw her. "Here to join me on this lovely day?" He snapped a claw, and a glass of tea appeared before her before a pair of ice cubes dropped in. "Tea?"

Twilight watched as the tea started to steam, and she had no doubt that it was due to the ice cubes attracting the cold out of the drink. She turned her gaze from the thermodynamic impossibility and to the cosmic puppeteer lounging in front of her with his chocolate milk of glass. "Actually, I came here to ask for help."

Discord grinned. "I thought so."

Woke up with a Discord

Twilight rolled over in her bed as she tried to escape the piercing rays of the morning sun. Her bed chamber had several excellent features - the massive over-stuffed bed with plenty of pillows, the additional bookshelves, the wall on which she had framed pictures of all of her friends. One feature she wasn't a fan of was the massive floor-to-ceiling windows that inevitably would let light in at the early hours no matter what she did with the blinds.

But, that morning, Twilight found herself not rolling as far as she usually did. With a grumble, she cracked one eye open to see if Pinkie Pie had snuck into her bed again.

What she found was indeed an agent of chaos, just not the one she had been expecting. "Discord."

"Twilight." Discord replied calmly as he stared back at her. He was splayed out on the bed next to her, one arm propping up his head as he laid nearly nose-to-nose with Twilight. "Might I say, you are looking lovely this morning."

"Why are you in my bed, Discord?" Twilight asked him flatly. It was far too early to be dealing with this sort of insanity.

"Sleeping of course." Discord replied as if was the most obvious thing in the world. "Where else would I be sleeping?"

"Fluttershy's house?" Twilight suggested. "Like you have been since you got here?"

"Oh, I dunno." Discord rolled over onto his back, playing with a pillow. "I think a change of scenery is good for one from time to time - don't you agree? Besides, I think you have a more pressing concern."

Twilight sighed as she finally gave up trying to get Discord out of her bed and instead rolled out of it herself. "And what would that be?"

"Why your princess is sitting outside." Discord replied calmly.

Twilight nearly tripped over herself in shock. "Princess Celestia is here?! How long?"

"Oh..." Discord said with a shrug. "Maybe twenty minutes."

Twilight paled before flying out of her room and through her castle. The palace interior flew past her in a blur before she barreled through the front doors and came to a halt.

Sure enough, Princess Celestia was there just as Discord had said she was. Her chariot was parked behind her and further beyond a hoof full of guards were keeping town residents at bay. There wasn't many at this hour, but it was still a sight more than usually gathered around her new residence, as Ponyville had long since become used to her brand of excitement.

The Princess herself had been talking to one of the guards when the sound of Twilight's entrance caught her attention. Her eyes went wide as she saw her student. "Oh, my dear Twilight..." Twilight stiffened as the princess approached her, gazing at her forlornly. "What have you done to yourself...?"

Twilight fidgeted under her former teacher's stare. "I'm fine, Princess, really! It just took a little... adjusting to." She found herself still nervous standing in front of Celestia, even after her ascension and now that - wait, wasn't Celestia supposed to be taller than her? Why was she at eye level with the princess? "I mean, really, that time I jumbled everypony's cutie marks was much worse than this."

"Perhaps," Celestia replied, "But of that I was much more sure of the outcome..."

Well, that was foreboding. "W-what do you mean, Princess?" Twilight asked.

Before Celestia could reply, the sound of heavy wing flaps echoed across the town before a dark and ominous looking chariot, pulled along by a pair of armored bat ponies, came to a landing next to Celestia's chariot and its sole passenger disembarked. "Tia!" Luna bellowed - though, thankfully, not in her Canterlot Voice. "I understand you are worried but was it really necessary to run off with such haste without myself? I am just as... worried..." Luna trailed off as she noticed Twilight.

Twilight waved meekly. "H-Hello, Princess Luna." If her teacher's worry made her nervous, then Luna's gawking probably got her the closest she'd ever get to knowing what being Fluttershy must have felt like.

"Twilight... Sparkle?" Luna asked, unsure. When Twilight nodded, Luna turned to Celestia. "Sister, the letter said that Twilight Sparkle had been turned into a draconequus, yes?"

"Yes," Celestia replied, slightly confused. "I would think that such was-"

Luna cut her off as she gestured at Twilight with one hoof. "You mean to tell me that this adorable creature is of the same ilk as that scruffy looking fellow Discord?"

"Who's scruffy looking!?" Came a shout from one of the windows above them, making all three of them looking up as Discord stuck his head out and looked downward at them.

"Twilight Sparkle," Luna said as they watched Discord disappear back through the window. "If I am not mistaken, that was the window from your bedroom. What was Discord doing within your sleeping chamber?"

"I have no idea," Twilight replied as she rubbed at the bridge of her nose. "He was in bed with me when I woke up and won't leave." Twilight looked up when she noticed the extended silence following her statement.

What she saw was Celestia and Luna both staring at her with various levels of shock. "Mayhaps you could repeat that again, Twilight Sparkle?" Luna asked somewhat nervously. "Since it sounded as if you just said Discord was in bed with you this morning..."

"Well, he was," Twilight replied. "Why are you-" Her eyes went wide as her morning brain finally caught up. "Not like that! He just let himself in!"

"Indeed," Twilight nearly jumped as Discord popped up behind Celestia. "No need to fear, sunbutt - your dear student still remains a massive stick-in-the-mud."

"You will learn some manner of self-control, Discord!" Luna said heatedly, "You will not-"

"Now Luna," Celestia said as she interrupted her sister, "I believe that there are larger issues at hand." She turned from her sister to Discord. "I am giving you the benefit of the doubt because, despite how matters turned out with Tirek, you have aided us before. So, you will explain yourself and what has happened."

"He didn't do anything, Princess!" Twilight quickly said, earning a surprised look from Discord as she came to his aide. "This was my fault, not his - Discord's actually been helping me since yesterday."

"You might have done this to yourself," Celestia replied, "But I have little doubt who was the primary source of your research," she turned to Discord. "I applaud that nopony has actually been hurt, but I find it hard to believe that this much chaos was not your doing."

"I'm not sure if I'm insulted or flattered, Tia." Discord said with a chuckle. "You think I could manipulate your prized pupil that well?”

"I think you have a vested interest in creating chaos," Celestia replied. "Whether intentional or not, it is simply your nature. Your recent self control has been admirable, but-"

"Oh, how predictable," Discord said with a roll of his eyes before getting face to face with the princess. "You think I'm one step from turning everything into cake or something - you ponies really do like recycling your material, don't you?"

"Mayhaps it would be better to continue this discussion indoors?" Luna suggested before turning to Twilight. "If that would be agreeable."

"Of course!" Twilight said as she quickly stepped back, a slight delay as she gave the doors a quick glance before one swung open with a small crackle of power. "Discord, please let Princess Celestia through." Discord acknowledged her no-nonsense order with a dramatic bow before he popped over to one of the doors, holding it open and gesturing Celestia through in a fair facsimile of manners. Celestia eyed him with equal measures unease and distrust, but gave him a polite nod all the same as she followed Twilight into the castle, Luna close behind.

"Spike?" Twilight called out as they stepped into the castle's entry way. The small purple dragon was in the middle of eating something as he appeared from around a corner that, if she recalled correctly, led to the kitchens. "There you are - could you prepare some tea for our guests and bring it to the reading chamber?"

Spike nodded as he quickly swallowed. "Sure thing."

Twilight considered her assistant for a moment with a tilt of her head. "What are you eating?"

Spike replied by holding up a familiar looking fruit. "Those apples you made yesterday - they taste a little funny though..." Spike shrugged as he tossed another into his maw as he headed off toward the kitchen.

Twilight watched him go before turning to Discord. "Oh, relax," He assured her with a dismissive wave of his paw. "It's chaos magic - not the cutie pox. He'll be fine."

Twilight let out a relieved sigh as she continued toward the library. "Thank you..."

Discord gave an exaggerated shiver. "Would you stop saying that? It's not natural."

Twilight rolled her eyes as they passed through the archway and into the familiar library, the purple draconequus leading the way to the collection of chairs and couches. "And anything else about this situation is?" She turned to the other princesses before either could comment on her... interesting interactions with Discord. "I apologize that I don't have a more formal chamber to meet in, but nothing else is really, uh... furnished."

"That is quite alright, Twilight Sparkle," Luna replied as she settled herself on a large chaise lounge. Next to her, her sister opted for a slightly more professional pose on one of the overstuffed wing back chairs. "I find myself quite preferential to the less formal means of meeting in recent days. Now, mayhaps you could explain this situation from the beginning so that my sister can stop - what is the phrase? - 'getting her feathers in a bunch'?"

Celestia shot Discord a glare as he half-heartedly tried to hide his chuckling and Twilight ignored both as she gave an explanation of her research, her attempted spell, and the fallout of casting it. Neither princess said anything as she told the rather short story, and neither showed any real reaction to her tale. Both retained expressions that betrayed nothing of their thoughts, even as Luna spoke. "Strange circumstances indeed, Twilight Sparkle - I think my sister agrees with me when I say that nopony could have foreseen this outcome."

"Nopony indeed," Celestia nodded in agreement before turning to Discord. "But 'nobody' I have more difficulty believing..."

"What, me?" Discord replied in mock surprise. "I don't know how it works with that big ball of gas you call a sun, but Chaos doesn't listen to me any more then I listen to you - I just know how to motivate it."

"So why have you not 'motivated' it to turn Twilight back?" Celestia shot back.

Discord shrugged. "Can't."

"Can't?" Celestia asked. "Or won't?"

"Can't," Twilight said with a sigh. "I already asked him, and he really doesn't have a reason to lie to me."

"Indeed," Discords agreed with a solemn nod, "She would just tattle to dear Fluttershy and then Fluttershy would give me that look and-"

"I believe I understand," Celestia said as she held up a hoof to cut off Discord. "I still do not believe that you could not have foreseen some sort of complication."

"Of course I foresaw something!" Discord replied drolly, "I figured it would have blown up in her face - maybe turned her a lovely shade of green. I've never even heard of this-" He gestured at Twilight, who was currently glaring at him. "Oh come on - even you thought it probably wasn't going to work."

Twilight's glare faltered as she blinked in surprise. "How did you-"

"I read your notes." Discord said as he summoned himself a cup of tea from the tray as Spike stepped through the doorway, laden with three cups and saucers along with a steaming teapot and a selection of biscuits. One of the biscuits poofed out of existence, its fate only apparent when a small crunch emanated from Discord's mouth.

"So," Luna said as she once again found herself bringing the conversation back on track as she accepted a cup of tea from Spike with a grateful nod, "I believe that quite effectively covers the situation up to the present. Perhaps you can enlighten us on what has yet to pass."

"Okay," Discord gave Luna a level stare, "Now you must be messing with me - you just asked me to try and predict chaos."

"I fail to see the - ah." Luna cut herself off as she caught on. "Then, mayhaps you could at least tell us what will not happen? Any chance of cataclysmic tears in reality?"

"From two draconequi?" Discord replied. "As much fun as that would be, no - not unless I can get Twily to start being more fun." Discord ignored the biscuit that bounced off his head along with Twilight's demand to refrain from that nickname while he continued. "I would be more worried about the burst of chaos magic."

"Burst?" Celestia repeated, raising an eyebrow as intrigue finally managed to displace the expression of annoyance that interacting with Discord seemed to induce. "What burst?"

"The one she created with her spell," Discord replied casually as he pointed to Twilight. "What? You thought a cross-species transformation was going to be subtle? The magical burst from when she grew wings was probably visible from Sieyrie Lione and that wasn't nearly as interesting."

"I assume that the exact repercussions of this 'burst' are as unpredictable as everything else you've discussed?"

"And the Alicorn learns!" Discord said with a sarcastic clap. "All I can tell you for sure is that it could make things very interesting around here." A glare from Twilight made Discord stop his clapping. "Oh, fine - if you want best guesses, you're looking at something like the Everfree forest turned up to eleven."

"How great of an increase are we speaking of?" Luna asked.

"Well, there's always a bit of chaos magic about," Discord explained as he finally slipped from his perch and into a more normal seat, albeit half-splayed across Twilight's lap. She quickly shoved him into the seat next to her on the couch. Discord smirked at her briefly before he continued. "It's why you get things like feral clouds."

"Where are you going with this?" Celestia asked, only a hint of her impatience making it through her calm demeanor.

"Well," Discord replied as his plucked one of the biscuits of the platter. "Let's say this represents the normal amount of chaotic energy in Ponyville. Based on what I felt yesterday, you would need a biscuit... thirty seven hooves long and weighing approximately six hundred pounds."

Luna blinked owlishly. "That... is a large biscuit."

"Almost as large as Tia's cake habit." Discord replied as he popped the baked good into his mouth. To one side, Celestia was glaring at him so hard that Twilight briefly considered that her old teacher might have been trying to force him to spontaneously combust. Which, if she thought about it, was a distinct possibility. Did Princess Celestia have heat vision, and if she didn't, why not? Maybe she could come up with a spell that could give her heat vision and then...

Focus Sparkle.

"So," Twilight said as she brought her attention back to the topic at hand, "is there a reason you didn't start with this?"

Discord leaned back, kicking his legs up onto a leg rest that wasn't there. "Sunbutt wanted to know what damage I might cause or trigger - technically, this is all your fault."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Of course - because there was no way you could have maybe warned me about the possibility of high-level chaotic magic bursts."

"I'm glad we agree on that then," Discord said with a small nod as he grabbed another biscuit.

"So," Twilight said while trying to suppress a small twitch that she was certain Discord was trying to cause, "How long will this magic take to dissipate?"

"Quite a while on its own," Discord replied. It seemed he was getting bored with the conversation, as he had summoned a couple of Twilight's books and currently had them fighting to the pain. "The magic will dissipate a little with each event as boring old normality reasserts itself. You could try to deal with them yourself, but I wouldn't recommend it."

"Why not?" Twilight asked.

"Well, I figured you want to be a pony," Discord replied. "Not a newt. Or a teacup. You've got a long way to go, kiddo."

"Then why can you not dissipate them yourself?" Luna asked.

"Chaos I may be good with, but tracking such things I am not." Discord replied. "I mean, why bother? They always pop in and out of existence - easier to just create my own chaos. I'm not even sure you can track them."

"Chaotic they might be," Twilight replied, "but they're still interacting with the world. If it interacts with the normal world, I can study it. And if I can study it, I can predict it."

"Oh, this I've got to see," Discord cackled as he rubbed his claw and paw together. "This should be almost as good as that thing with the time travel!"

"Discord," Celestia started, her voice serious, "If you do anything-"

"Sister," Luna cut Celestia off, "I understand your worries but I am afraid that you are overestimating our resident headache." She punctuated the statement with a gesture in Discord's direction, though he seemed to take it as a compliment. "He has yet to behave in any way that is truly beyond what we should expect, and he is still acting within acceptable bounds. Unless he exceeds those bounds, we have done all that we can."

Discord considered Luna curiously for a moment. "And If I do exceed those bounds?"

"What?" Luna replied as she turned to him. "Like you decide to pull one of your old pranks again? Don't do that - you'll be on the moon before you realized you've made a mistake."

Discord chuckled for a moment before he realized that the lunar diarch was completely serious. He quickly swallowed whatever smart comment he was about to make and retreated back toward Twilight. They'd hesitate to do anything until she was out of range... probably.

"Princess, this was my fault." Twilight said as she briefly watched Discord climb over her and the couch before peaking over Twilight's shoulder at Luna. "It's true that I wouldn't be in this mess if Discord hadn't shared what he had with me, but you can't blame him for what I did with the information."

"That is a very noble sentiment, Twilight, but-" Celestia began, but she was quickly cut off by her student.

"If he can be blamed," Twilight said while her teacher was still recovering from Twilight actually interrupting her, "then so can you - after all, without your tutelage I wouldn't have had the knowledge to construct the spell."

Luna chuckled and ribbed her sister. "She has you there, Tia."

Celestia's face contorted for a moment before she managed to school her expression, though it seemed she couldn't stop the sigh that escaped her lips as she rose to her hooves. "Very well then - if you believe that it is for the best, then I will let you take care of this matter - I will still be leaving a detachment of guards behind."

Twilight nodded as she stood. "Of course, Princess - and thank you for trusting me."

"My dear Twilight," Celestia said as she gave her student a smile, "I have always trusted you," she turned to Discord, who was now peeking out from under the now vacated couch like a cat - though the fact that the couch was displaced high enough to actually rise off all four legs dampened the effect. She gave him a scrutinizing gaze. "Others, however..."

"If that is all, then I believe our business is concluded." Luna said as she stifled a yawn. "... excuse me - it has been a long morning and my bed calls for me. Let us be off, sister."

Luna didn't wait for her sister as she started for the front door, leaving Celestia behind with Twilight. "I wish there was more I could do to aid you, my faithful student..."

"Unless you can turn me back into a pony," Twilight replied with a shrug, "And I'm pretty sure that would require the elements of harmony."

"Indeed," Celestia said with a nod as they made their way toward the front hall. "It seems all of our hopes rest with you and Discord..."

"Given how fast you were willing to trust him to handle Tirek, I'm surprised you seem so nervous about this Princess."

"Tirek did not require that I trust my brightest pupil to him," Celestia replied as she came to a halt at the front door. Outside, beyond the doorway, Luna was waiting next to their chariots, a few guards still milling about while others kept the crowd a reasonable distance back. Most of them had dispersed when it became apparent that another grand cataclysm had not centered itself on their town. Celestia ignored it all as she focused on Twilight. "Promise me you won't let him... change you."

Twilight looked down at herself for a moment before looking back at Celestia. "All things considered, I think I should be more worried about me changing me."

"I understand that you trust him, Twilight," Celestia replied, her tone serious, "and I don't know how much is intentional and how much is truly second-nature to him, but he will try to manipulate you - it's a game to him, same as everything else."

Twilight nodded. "Then I'll just have to play it better then him."

"Just... be careful, Twilight." Celestia said before she started out toward her sister. At some point the others had arrived, as Luna looked up from her conversation with the five of them as her sister approached.

"You stood up for me." Twilight was certain she would have jumped out of her fur if she could have managed it as she spun around as Discord suddenly spoke up from right behind here.

"You!" Twilight exclaimed, before noticing that Discord lacked his usual smirk or indifferent frown. Instead he looked surprised, along with something else she couldn't quite place. "I... what?"

"You stood up for me." Discord replied. "To your esteemed teacher no less. Frankly... I'm flabbergasted."

Twilight found herself fighting the urge to squirm under the draconequus's uncharacteristically intense gaze. Even then, she couldn't maintain eye contact. "S-She was wrong, it's as simple as that. I wasn't going to let her keep being wrong."

"Still," Discord replied as the two of them stood in the castle's doorway, "You are the only pony other than Fluttershy to do that," He took a step back before giving her a low bow. "and for that, you have my thanks."

"W-Well," Twilight stuttered in reply, "Think nothing of it."

"Au contraire." Discord replied rising from his bow to wag a finger at Twilight. "A Draconequus does not let debts go unpaid."

Twilight gave him a level stare. "Then what about the twenty bits you owe Rainbow Dash?"

"Different matter entirely," Discord replied with a dismissive wave. "For this, I owe you - I suppose I could grant you a boon..."

"A what?" Twilight replied.

"A boon," Discord repeated. "Ask for anything, and I shall give it to you."

Maybe it was the fact that it had been a long morning. Maybe it was the fact that she really needed some coffee. Maybe it was, perhaps, that he had just given her the perfect setup. Whatever it was, instead of her usual reaction she simply leaned forward, pressing one claw against his chest as she gave him a small smirk and a half-lidded stare. "Anything?"

She had been hoping to come off as unnerving, perhaps intimidating. She worried that it may have come across as something else.

Twilight recoiled in surprise as Discord puffed out with a small 'foof', his wings joining in as they snapped to their full extension. That his jaw literally managed to hit the ground was fairly impressive. "I-you-buh-" Discord stammered for a moment.

'Crap' Twilight thought, 'I managed to break the Lord of Chaos'.

What would happen if she had? Would she have to take up his mantle? Yes... you saw it all the time in old stories. Instead of a Lord of Chaos, they would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible! All shall love me and-

Focus Twilight.

Twilight covered up her brief side-tangent into megalomania with a small cough and a subtle blush, "I have no idea what you are thinking of, but it's wrong."

Discord blinked a couple of times before he started to smooth his fur and feathers out. "Well, if you weren't coming on to me like you were Sunbutt eying a slice of cheesecake..."

"I-what!?" It was Twilight's turn to balk. "I was doing no such thing!"

"Yes you were!" Discord retorted with an accusatory finger point. "You had the come-hither stare and everything!"

"And I'm gone." The two draconequi turned to see the other girls standing a few paces away. Pinkie Pie was trying valiantly it seemed to not laugh out loud and failing while Fluttershy had retreated behind her long pink mane and seemed to be considering whether to exit stage left or right. Behind them, Applejack and Rarity were following after Rainbow Dash as she started to fly off. "Day's already weird enough - I don't need this."

Twilight rolled her eyes as she started after her blue pegasus friend. "Come on Rainbow, if this is as potentially disastrous as Celestia made it sound we need everypony."

"What about me?" Discord asked as Spike trundled by in pursuit of his princess.

Twilight gave a small shrug as she passed her friends. "Tell them about the biscuit."

Applejack paused, watching the purple draconequus for a moment before turning to Discord. "What about the biscuit?"

As Discord attempted to summarize the situation with his usual flare, Spike cast a quick glance back before falling in next to Twilight. "So, is this really as bad as it sounds?"

"Maybe," Twilight replied with a shrug as she trotted along on all fours. How Discord managed bipedal locomotion was beyond her. Much better to stay on all four hooves - er, paws... claws... whatever - then risk falling over flat on your face. "But we've faced bad before, right?"

"But that was, you know," Spike replied as he gestured vaguely, "acute bad. This is, like, chronic bad. We've never really had to deal with anything constantly."

"Well, with a little help from our friends, I'm sure we'll get by." Twilight replied confidently.

"Or get blown a mile high," Spike grumbled. "that's what happens in Power Ponies usually..."

"Well then it's a good thing I'm not a superhero then, isn't it?" Twilight replied as she continued along after Rainbow Dash. It was only after a moment that she realized her small draconic companion had come to a stop several steps back. "Spike?"

"You have an unusual upbringing," Spike said as he held up a claw and started counting off, "You were chosen by a magical artifact that granted you awesome powers, you've saved the world on multiple occasions and have fought honest-to-Celestia super villans. You even have a secret base." Spike stared at Twilight for a moment. "You sure you aren't a superhero?"

"Of course," Twilight replied, but for some reason she didn't feel confident about it. "I don't have a secret identity."

"Neither does Major Arcana," Spike replied. "And he's a super powerful unicorn mage like you… well, like you were."

Twilight stopped for a moment. "Assuming for a moment my life is governed by the rules of narrative causality Spike, what happens next?"

Spike shrugged. "Depends on the genre. I figure either we get a really easy warm-up villain or the Big Bad make a brief cameo to kick all of our rears to force a training arc or something."

Twilight stared at her purple scaled assistant. "Seriously?"

"Well, that or you end up having to fight Discord." Spike suggested. "But you've already sort of done that twice. A third time is just lazy writing."

Twilight gave a small snort as she started after Rainbow Dash again. Luckily for her the speedster pegasus was moving at what was, for her at least, a sedate pace. "First rule of writing - your job is harder than Princess Celestia's."

"What does that mean?" Spike asked.

"It means that reality can get away with the most ridiculous circumstances and you'll still believe it." Twilight explained. "It doesn't care about lazy writing."

Spike shot a glance back toward Discord. "So you think you'll end up fighting him?"

"With my luck?" Twilight replied. "This will all end with Angel Bunny trying to take over the world." Spike gave her a strange look and she just sighed. "Come on - let's catch up to Dash before she decides to take off."

To Twilight's surprise however they managed to catch up to Rainbow Dash in short order, finding her sitting on a small cloud at about eye level that she must have summoned just for the seat. "Something the matter, Rainbow?"

"Oh, hey," Dash gave the draconequus a languid wave of her hoof. "Done flirting with the old goat?"

"I was not flirting!" Twilight snapped back defensively as she felt her cheeks begin to flush again. "And what are you doing here? I figured you'd be off to your flying practice by now."

"I was going to," Dash replied with a shrug. "but this seemed way more entertaining, you know?"

Dash gestured toward the center of town with a hoof, and Twilight followed her hoof to the view of town and came to an abrupt stop.

There was a cyclone currently rumbling around town square. Under any normal circumstances this would have been a major issue, but in this case not so much. For one, it was moving at something just below walking pace.

It was also made entirely out of cotton candy.

"I figured this was Discord's fault and that you would want a look first." Dash said as she continued to watch the town deal with the pink twister. Though, 'deal' might have been the wrong word, given most of the town seemed to be simply ignoring it. A few more enterprising fellows even stole bites as it drifted past. "Where'd this thing come from anyway?"

"Discord," Twilight replied with a sigh. "but not how you're thinking. Any reason you haven't gotten rid of it yet?"

"Like I said, I figured you'd want to take a look first." Rainbow Dash replied. "and besides, making giant piles of cotton candy vanish is more Pinkie Pie's thing."

Twilight started past Dash and toward town. "Well, I guess we'll just have to make do - we've got a meeting to get to."

Go For the Throat

Draconequus and alicorn alike backed away from the massive avian slowly as it stepped forth from the rift in reality, the rip closing as soon as it was clear. And massive it was – the over-sized pseudo-bird was the size of one of the nearby buildings. And the way it was eying them was making Twilight very nervous.

“Birdie, no,” Discord did his best to warn the bird off, but the massive beast seemed to take offense to that. It cracked its over-sized beak open and let out a shrill shriek that caused everyone still in the square to wince and cover their ears as best they could. Celestia didn't wait for a second one as she charged a spell. Discord went bug-eyed as soon as he saw what she was doing, “Wait, don't-” Celestia fired off the spell before Discord could stop her.

The spell got within a hoof-length of the birdie before seeming to unravel a split-second before it simply exploded with enough force to send three princesses, one chaos lord and an overly curious pegasus flying back into a collection of unfortunate food carts, “Would someone,” Luna said with a groan as she picked cabbage from her mane, “please tell me what just happened?”

“It unraveled her spell,” Discord replied as he extradited himself from a pile of pears, “Normal magic isn't going to work on it any more than it works on me.”

“Then you try something!” Twilight replied as she watched it tear through one of the few remaining food carts.

“Gladly!” Discord replied, grinning as he conjured up an orb of light and hurled it at the Birdie. It got about as far as Celestia's spell before it imploded with a dramatic explosion that sent Discord crashing through a wall. After a moment, a dazed draconequus pulled himself out of the wreckage, “Did everyone see that? Because I am not doing that again!”

“Now what are we...” Twilight started before pausing, “...what is it doing?” Nearby, everything around the Birdie had begun to... disintegrate. Paving stones began to crumble into dust under-claw as the Birdie unfurled its wings and laboriously took flight. Each flap was a slow, deliberate stroke and with every flap the wind began to blow faster and faster until a whirling maelstrom surrounded the creature's floating form in a seemingly perfect sphere that ended where the spells had unfurled.

But it was getting larger.

With every pulse of its wings, the sphere inched a bit wider, and everything that was caught inside simply disintegrated, “I take it back,” Discord said, the hint of genuine fear in his voice scaring Twilight more than whatever they were facing, “This isn't like facing me; this is worse.”

“Worse how?” Twilight asked as she tugged a string out of place and redirected it at the sphere. Instead of a rain of tangerines, the string simply snapped as another – thankfully small – explosion went off.

“It’s rejecting reality and substituting its own,” Discord explained. Nearby, Celestia and Luna were throwing up shield after shield against the maelstrom, only to have them pop in a shower of sparks when the wind wall touched them, “It's like that stupid Shrubbery, only dumber.”

“How is this anything like that?!” Twilight demanded to know. The sphere of un-reality had expanded to take up the entire center of the square and had dug a good meter and a half into the ground. Strange purplish not-lights were starting to appear inside.

“The Shrubbery was a cross between your Tree of Harmony and my Plunder vines, right?” Discord replied, “It used your magic to construct itself and my magic to eat all the things. This is just doing the latter.”

“Then how do we stop it?” Celestia shouted over. The wind was now a constant howl around them.

Discord shrugged, “How did we stop the Shrubbery?”

“That was different!” Twilight shouted back, “My magic could actually hurt that! This thing is just ignoring it.”

“Then make it not ignore you,” Discord replied, “It can hit us, can't it?”

Twilight turned to Discord, blinking owlishly for a moment before it clicked, “If it can hit us, then we can interact with it. And if we can interact with it...”

“We can kick its flank,” Discord finished with a smirk, “So – how?”

“Okay,” Twilight took a deep breath as she screwed her eyes shut, softly humming to herself between muttered words, “Think Twilight, think. Work back from first principles. If it's interacting with our reality it has to be on the same phase-line... unless it's just forcing things out of their natural phase-line... but that implies it has its own phase line... AHA!” Twilight spun around to face Discord with a triumphant smirk, “It's still solid and interacting with light, which means its personal reality is a near phase-line to our own; we just need to retune our spells!”

“Good, great, wonderful!” Discord replied with a clap as her returned her grin, “How do we do that?”

“No idea!” Twilight replied cheerfully, “Help me figure it out. Celestia! Luna! Buy us some time!”

“How much time?” Luna asked as she threw up another shield. Her sister looked like she was still trying to process the sudden burst of mania from her faithful student.

“Uhh, about six minutes,” Twilight replied with a shrug as she started digging through the wreckage of what had been a music store before half a cart crashed through the shop window, “Why?”

“Because I seriously doubt we have six minutes,” Luna replied grimly as their shields popped once again. The only saving grace was that the spheres expansion had apparently stopped.

“Okay,” Discord said as he joined Twilight in digging through wrecked music machines, “How do we re-phase magic or whatever?”

“Our research has been about how chaos magic and normal magic interact, right?” Twilight replied as she yanked a small brass pump-like device from the guts of a calliope, “This should work on the same sort of principle.”

“But all of those interactions end in explosions, remember?” Discord pointed out, “You know, the whole harmony and disharmony thing...”

“That's why we need to build a spell-matrix to channel it,” Twilight replied, before frowning, “But how do we keep the spell phase-locked? If this thing is anything like you then its phase isn't going to be constant.”

There was a moment of silence before a light bulb suddenly lit up over Discord's head. He promptly plucked it down and ate it before saying, “Use its magic!”

Twilight blinked before her face lit up, “Genius! We reroute the Birdie's disintegration field through a spell matrix, and use its underlying directional thread to tune our own spells! We can even use it to power the matrix!”

“This has a small, but fascinating chance of actually working!” Discord said as his expression began to match Twilight's, “Let's do it! You handle the matrix, I'll take care of the primary input. Break!”

“Twilight?” Celestia shouted back as her latest spell splashed off the Birdie's barrier, “What are you-” the solar diarch paused as she saw her student and the lord of chaos rushing about, rummaging through destroyed shop fronts, “-planning?”

“Leave them, sister!” Luna shouted back as she fought to keep the creature’s attention. Any slack in the onslaught from the two Alicorns gave the creature a chance to start drifting toward one of the narrow streets out of the square, “They will pull through for us, same as always.”

Celestia turned to her sister, a retort already ready, but it died on her lips as she saw the look on Luna's face. Celestia simply nodded before turning back to the trans-planar abomination before them and letting loose another spell.

Twilight and Discord payed this no mind as they worked to convert a toaster and half of a film projector into the basis of their spell converter. “It'll take me a moment to set the initial configuration of the spell matrix,” Twilight said quickly as she slotted a crystal into place. You take care of power routing?”

“Stole the guts from the grifter twin's fancy ride,” Discord replied as he continued to levitate the in-progress construct between the two of them, parts floating around it like a partially-exploded technical diagram, “Anything else?”

“Just one thing,” Twilight replied with a frown, “We need a power source to feed the re-phase circuit and boost stages; Something stable and won't burn out too fast. Otherwise we'll get a feedback loop and all we built was a really pretty bomb.”

Discord mulled it over for a minute before snapping his claw, “It needs one of those...” He paused as he shoved a claw into one ear, vanishing far further then it had any right to, “Ah, one of those...” Another pause as he continued to rummage around in his own head. Given what Pinkie seemed to keep in her mane, Twilight found this one of the least disconcerting tricks Discord had pulled, “oh, how embarrassing. It's gone completely out of my head. Hold on.” He pulled his claw out, giving her a polite bow before pronking off across the square, dodging flying debris before diving into a pile of rubble – and promptly popping out of the pile next to Twilight, a glowing orange watch in paw, “You know, one of these!”

“Perfect!” Twilight exclaimed as she snatched up the small artifact, tearing off the watch face and digging out a small assembly of crystal and tuning forks, “A zero-point aetheric mana reactor! Lovely piece of kit assuming you can keep it from exploding.”

Discord blinked, “And Luna put that in a watch?”

Twilight glanced up from the highly unstable mana-generating device and frowned, “Who did what now?”

“Nothing,” Discord replied with a dismissive wave as another store facade collapsed, “Perhaps we should finish it?”

“...Oh, right!” Twilight quickly slotted the small assembly into place before nodding, “Alright – ready to compile!”

Discord nodded before floating the constellation of parts in front of him, drawing himself up to his full height before announcing with grave ceremony, “Raising Heart, Set up!”

“We are not calling it that,” Twilight said flatly as the construct assembled itself.

“What?” Discord replied with what was at least a close approximation of honest confusion as the assembled device descended toward Twilight, “You tend to befriend anything you fight and I thought it would be a very appropriate since it'll let you befriend with even larger energy bolts than usual.”

“Only if it works like we want,” Twilight replied as she took the device. It was strangely shaped – almost like a small cannon with a claw on the front, the main body glowing a dim orange through the support structure that connected the front aperture to the rear handles – of which there were two. One went straight back, and the other jutted out from the side. As it settled into Twilight's waiting claws, she realized that this was not a weapon meant for ponies.

“Alright everypony!” She shouted as she began channeling her magic into the device, causing the strange orange glow to increase until it looked like a contained fire, “Stand back! I'm going to try Science!”

Luna and Celestia had just enough time to turn around, look at Twilight, blanch and dive out of the way before a bolt of arcane energy as thick as one of their legs shot forward, punched through the wind and strange spatial effects and slammed into the giant birdie's chest with a thundering explosion.

To the Alicorns it had simply looked like a bolt of energy – to Discord and Twilight though, they saw it for what it was; a thread of reality, retuned, reinforced and redoubled until it was a veritable battering ram.

There was a long, keening cry from the creature as it reeled back and everything abruptly stopped. The howling winds ceased so fast that it left Twilight's ears ringing until the sounds of falling debris filled the silence.

But soon even those sounds died out and the square was plunged into stark, absolute silence.

Nopony or draconequus moved as the Birdie rose again, slowly righting itself as it brought its gaze to bear on them. It has noticed them before – but now it was actually looking at them.

“Okay, we got his attention,” Discord said nervously, “What the hay was step two?”

The beast gave a shrill, ear-piercing cry before charging at Twilight. Discord neatly side-stepped across the square as the purple draconequus gave a small 'eep' before vanishing in a puff of confetti and re-materializing on the other side of the square, “Okay!” she shouted as she tossed Discord the converter, “Your turn!”

Discord caught the device and gave a predatory grin as he chambered a new round with a satisfying 'chu-chunk' – despite the fact that the device, in fact, did not utilize any sort of cartridge mechanism, “Oh... Yeah...”

The device glowed an eerie yellow a split-second before it started spitting out bolts of searing energy faster than Pinkie could clear a platter of cupcakes, Discord cackling like a mad-pony as he began bounding around the square while singing... Gill Bait and Sullen Vein? “Come on! Where's my chorus?”

“Discord has the only weapon capable of harming that monstrosity,” Luna said as she alighted next to Twilight, “What do you suggest we do?”

“Keep it distracted,” Twilight replied as she snapped her claws. In response, a menagerie of colorful papier-mâché animals popped into existence around the birdie – and promptly exploded with an impressive combination of concussive force and confetti, “Don't let it focus on whoever has the converter!”

“...'whoever'?” Celestia asked, blinking in confusion.

The reply came in the form of Discord tossing the device toward the solar diarch, “Your turn sunshine!”

Celestia glared at Discord as she caught it in her telekinetic grasp, ignoring the birdie as it charged, “I told you...” she didn't bother looking away from Discord as she leveled the device at the creature, taking half a moment to charge the device before unleashing a pillar of fiery plasma into the creature's face. It reeled back with a screech as Celestia continued to speak, “...not to call me that.”

“Spoil-sport,” Discord stuck his tongue out at her before leaping over the birdie, twisting around before landing on the other side and sprinting off, still singing intermittently , “Still no chorus!”

Luna and Twilight split up, Twilight moving to follow after Discord while Luna made to follow her sister, “You shouldn't mess with Celestia like that,” Twilight admonished the other draconequus as they both sent waves of animated debris leaping at the birdie.

“That's like telling water not to be wet, or you not to be adorkable,” Discord replied as he teleported an entire roof over the birdie, drawing its attention as Celestia shot it in the face again, “And besides... where is it going?”

Twilight looked from Discord's sudden frown to whatever he was frowning at and saw the Birdie moving in a new direction, “Oh fiddlesticks – it's trying to get out of the square.”

“...Oh my,” Discord said after a moment of stunned silence, “That is bad.”

“Come on!” Twilight shouted as she shot forward, bounding across the square in two long strides before jumping onto the roofs and continuing after the Birdie as the Alicorns continued on at street level. Luna lashed out with silvery-white bursts across its tail while Celestia continued to barrage it from ahead. Now that the creature knew what to expect, though, it seemed able to press on, “We need to stop it!”

“In case you haven't been paying attention,” Discord said back as he sped along next to her, lounging back on a speeding cotton candy cloud, “We've been trying to do that. It's not cooperating.”

“We have to do something!” Twilight snapped back, “We just aren't damaging it fast enough.”

“What if we tried more power?” Discord asked, suddenly sporting a black hat.

“The converter would probably explode and level half of Ponyville,” Twilight replied with a shrug, “But the resulting fissure in space-time would likely-” she paused as her face lit up, “Ideeeeaaaaa~!”

“Rarity has that copyrighted, you know,” Discord quipped, but Twilight had already bounded off toward the two Alicorns.

“Luna!” Twilight called out, drawing the Alicorn's attention as she dropped back onto the road, “I need you to piss off the Birdie!”

Luna blinked once before nodding and turning toward her sister, “Tia! Your student says it is my turn with the shadow-cursed mana cannon!”

It was Twilight's turn to blink, “I didn't say that.”

“Your device is the best way to harm this 'Birdie', at the moment,” Luna replied as she caught the cannon in her magic, “Now, I assume you have a plan?”

“You're going to make the Birdie want to eat you,” Twilight replied calmly, “And then we're going to set off an explosion that will hopefully not destroy Ponyville. I've got to go set up the other thing – try to steer it back to the square, kay? Thanks, bye!”

Luna watched in stunned silence as the purple draconequus dashed off, leaving her with an angry pseudo-bird and a piece of arcane tech kludged together from spare parts. “...Alright then,” Luna said with a frown as she turned, leveling the device at the Birdie, “Prepare yourself, foul beast, for we have had a very trying day.”

And then she shot it in the tail with what looked like a ground-level shooting star.

Twilight didn't pay the scene any mind until the reeling Birdie took out the building she was running on top of with an errant claw. Twilight found herself running on air for all of two seconds before gravity decided to re-assert herself and tug the purple draconequus ground-ward.

At least until Discord swung through and grabbed her.

“Need some help, milady?” Discord asked as they alighted at the edge of the square. Discord was dressed in a ridiculous red superhero costume, complete with mask and a large gold emblem on his chest.

Twilight just gave him a level gaze, “What were you even swinging from?”

Discord shrugged as he tugged on the rope, “Passing pegasus,” A moment later, Ditzy Doo fell into Discord's waiting paw, looking even more discombobulated then normal.

Twilight sighed as she buried her face in a claw, “Hey Ditzy.”

“Hey Twilight,” the blonde pegasus replied, giving herself a quick shake before looking around at the ongoing destruction, “So, uh... you working again?”

“Just taking care of some stuff,” Twilight replied, “I have it under control.”

As if to punctuate the statement, the building Twilight had been running on chose that moment to finish collapsing, sending up a great plume of dust as it slowly imploded. Ditzy stared at the ruins for a minute before she said, “I'd hate to see out of control.”

“Okay, thanks for dropping in!” Twilight quickly said before teleporting the gray pegasus away with a snap of her claws, “There, that should keep her out of harm's way.”

Discord stared at his now empty paw, before asking, “Where did you send her, anyway?”

“My kitchen,” Twilight replied with a sigh as she pulled out a piece of chalk, “I'll have to restock the ice box.”

“So, what are we doing now?” Discord asked as he started pulling out more scavenged pieces of equipment, “Since I assume the answer isn't 'blowing up Ponyville',”

“Blowing up Ponyville,” Twilight replied simply as she continued sketching out a massive diagram across the square.

Discord looked between her and the square a couple of times, “...Huh. You know, I thought I'd be happier about this...”

“We're only blowing it up a little bit,” Twilight elaborated as she finished the diagram, tossing her chalk aside as she started digging through the equipment, pausing to yank out a gemstone every now and then, “We need to set up a secondary focusing array and then use it direct an overcharged converter shot across the spatial fold to force the gate to reopen in reverse.”

“But that would require...” Discord counted off a few numbers on his claw, “...a lot of power. Can we even sustain a spell like that?”

“Nope!” Twilight replied cheerfully as she started laying the crystals out, “That's why we're only going to cast it just as we overcharge the converter.”

“So, just to clarify,” Discord asked, leaning against nothing in particular as he gesticulated, “You want to cast the only spell preventing your cutsie little town from being leveled on a timing window of.... what? Half a second?”

“Four hundred and sixty-seven milliseconds, to be precise,” Twilight replied, turning to him, “So, are you going to help?”

Discord blinked, one eyebrow rising questionably, “Are you kidding?” after a moment, his mouth broke into a massive grin, “Just tell me what to do.”

“Alright, first-” Twilight was interrupted by a shrill cry and sudden crash as another building fell, “...actually, could you go help Celestia and Luna? We kinda need the Birdie back over here,” she paused before adding, “and I guess they should hear the entire plan...”

“Saving Sunshine and Moonpie and then telling them what to do, aye,” Discord replied, snapping off a salute before turning and jumping up onto the nearby rooftops.

Twilight watched him go for a moment before turning back to her work. Discord could take care of himself, she thought as she sketched out the next part of the circle, even against some sort of freakish trans-planar bird-thing. Her line faltered as scenes from the Everfree flashed through her mind, but she quickly dismissed them as she erased the errant line and redid it. This was already risky enough – no need to complicate it with inaccurate mana channels.

There was another crash, and this time it had nothing to do with her nerves as another building behind her crumbled under the rampaging avian's onslaught – and then Discord flew past her and slammed into one of the buildings before her it too crumbled into rust. After a moment, Discord pulled himself out of the debris, dusting himself off and popping a lollipop into his mouth, “Figured out what the nasty is weak against.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow at this, “What's that, Discord?”

“Point blank annihilation,” Discord replied before vanishing with a small 'click' and a puff of confetti, leaving a lawn gnome in his place.

Twilight glanced back toward the running fight that was slowly but surely drawing closer before turning to the gnome, “I don't suppose you have a better idea than this one, do you?” At the gnome’s silence, Twilight just sighed and returned to her runes, “Didn't think so.”

Twilight managed to finish the last of the runes and had started giving the array its initial priming charge before she was interrupted again. The first sign that something had changed was the warm breath rolling across her neck. The second clue was that everything had gone very, very silent. “Discord...?” she asked as she turned around – and found herself snout-to-beak with a very perturbed looking bird-thing. Twilight's face contorted into a frown as she stared up at the Birdie, “You're not Discord.”

The Birdie replied by shrieking in her face at point-blank range, making her mane billow out behind her and causing her to stumble back a few paces. Twilight took a moment to stare up at the beast in a mix of stunned awe and dawning terror before shouting not-frantically, “Discord!”

Discord poofed back into existence a few paces to her side, the converter in-paw as he grabbed Twilight’s arm with a claw, “What are you standing here for!? I lost the thing to-” he turned right, “-WOAH!”

The birdie screeched in their faces, dust shaken off the destroyed wall behind them falling to the ground.

Discord just stared back before replying with a shout of his own and shooting the Birdie in the face, sending it reeling back and tripping over a ruined pastry shop, “Okay – that bought us maybe ninety seconds. What do we do?”

“The framework's finished,” Twilight quickly replied, waving at the lattice of runes across the ground under them, “Now we just need to charge the array. Once that’s done, I need you to prep the converter and be ready to cast it at my signal.”

“Just to be clear,” Discord said. Behind them, the Birdie was starting to stir, “That's the signal for the four-hundred and something milli-whatever window, right?”

“Four hundred and sixty-seven,” Twilight replied with a nod.

Discord pondered it for a moment before he shrugged and started channeling power into the array, “Just checking.”

The spell-array began to glow with a strange energy as the Birdie finally stumbled back onto its claws and began to charge at them again, “I’ve got this!” Twilight shouted as she started pouring her own magic into the circle, the charging array beginning to spark and thunder under them as she did, “Get the converter ready!”

Discord shot Twilight a split-second look of concern before breaking off, grabbing the converter from where it had fallen and lifting it up to his shoulder as it crackled with energy. The Birdie stomped to a thundering stop half a pace from Discord and roared.

Discord just grinned as the spell behind him reached a crescendo. “Smile for the birdie!”

“NOW!” Twilight shouted.

Two massive detonations rocked the square as both draconequui triggered their respective spells in perfect synchronicity. But instead of an explosion, there was instead an implosion as clouds of dust rushed toward the circle.

Twilight blinked in surprise, peering around but seeing nothing but a world of white and brown. Everything seemed fuzzy…

...oh, wait. Everything was fuzzy. “Discord,” she muttered, her voice muffled, “Get off.”

“Well, excuse me princess,” Discord replied, stretching out the syllables as he nonetheless complied, “I was just trying to do the proper noble thing, but am I thanked? No, of course not...”

Twilight ignored the whining lord of chaos as she took stock of her surroundings. All told, she couldn’t tell much – a dense fog was wrapped around them, leaving everything beyond maybe an arm's length little more than vague outlines. Dust and feathers hung in the air around them as a pained, keening wail echoed from what sounded like a ways off, “...What happened?”

“Not sure...” Discord replied with a frown as he started lazily waving his paw in wide circles. As he did, the fog slowly began to recede, revealing the ruined remains of the square and the strange shimmering black sphere hanging just above it center. Another wail echoed from inside it even as it contracted, before imploding with a small, rumbling, pop. “...Huh,” Discord said after a moment, “Guess that’s that.”

“We… did it?” Twilight said, incredulity tinting her voice for a moment before her face lit up, “We did it! It actually worked!” The purple draconequus began pronking around her opposite, giggling like a mad-pony, “We actually did it!”

“Well, of course,” Discord said with a smirk as he watched her, “Who the hay do you think I- woah!” Discord was cut off as Twilight threw her arms around him before promptly throwing herself at the other draconequus.

“We just ripped a hole in space-time and we didn’t kill anypony!” Twilight exclaimed, still grinning and laughing as she grabbed Discord and pulled him close before kissing him square on the lips. She was still grinning like mad as she broke contact and went back to pronking, “That was great! We should definitely-”

Discord didn’t catch any of the rest as he suddenly floofed up, his coat puffing out as the rest of the elements of harmony arrived. “Hey, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash called out, alighting a few paces away from the pair, “We got everypony cleared to the other side of town and-” she paused as she caught sight of Discord. “Woah. What happened to you?”

“Flurgen,” was all the still somewhat glassy-eyed draconequus could manage.

“Oh, hey girls!” Twilight pronked over and came to an energetic stop in front of her friends, flashing a grin that would make Pinkie proud – and, based on the score-card she was holding, in fact did, “Sorry about all of that! Had a tiny problem with a trans-planar monster, but Discord and I took care of it and we didn’t even blow up the town! Right Discord?”

“Blpft,” was the ancient draconequus’s eloquent reply.

“See?” Twilight continued, turning back to her friends and still grinning, “Everything is fine!” she paused, briefly frowning as she added, “If you didn’t know what was going on, why’d you evacuate everyone?”

“We saw ponies rushing from where you and Discord were at and we put two and two together,” Rainbow Dash says with a shrug. Behind her, Applejack and Rarity were talking in hushed whispers – the latter excitedly while the former sounded more annoyed – as Rainbow Dash continued, “Jeez, you draconequui get all into your freakish, twisted courtship rituals-” She glanced toward Discord, who Fluttershy was trying to coax some sort of reaction out of even as Pinkie amused herself prodding at the frozen draconequus, before adding, “What’s with him anyway?”

“Huh?” Twilight looked up from her own rapid babbling to see what Rainbow was talking about, “...oh. No idea. I guess something surprised him?”

“Then that makes two of us,” everybody turned at Celestia's voice, seeing the regal form of the white alicorn striding forward, her sister close behind and neither looking like they had just been dueling some horrid beast. Celestia gave the other ponies polite nods and greetings as she made a beeline for Discord, “I have to say, Discord, that this is something I have not seen since… well, quite a while ago.”

“She started it!” Discord blurted out. At the stunned silence he received in reply, Discord blinked rapidly, smoothing out his coat before consummately continuing as if nothing strange had happened and flashing Celestia his best grin, “Ahem – I mean, enjoy the show, Sunshine?”

Celestia shot back with a smirk as she spoke, “I am finding myself pleasantly surprised. I’d almost forgotten the feats you could accomplish if you set your mind to it.”

Five ponies, an alicorn and a purple draconequus raised an eyebrow at this as Discord remained nonplussed, his grin remaining as he replied, “Well, that sounds like there’s a story behind it.”

“One I’d be more than happy to share,” Celestia replied, turning and walking away a few paces before glancing back, “Perhaps over tea at the castle, this weekend – assuming your schedule allows?”

“I’ll have to check my calendar,” Discord replied as he floated forward, slipping into place next to the solar diarch as the two began to move, “But I’m sure we can work something out...”

The seven left behind watched the pair leave for a while before Luna leaned toward Twilight and whispered, “We are not sure… what just happened?”

Twilight frowned as she watched Discord and her teacher vanish into the distance, “I’m not quite sure...” But this was a good thing, wasn’t it? Discord and Celestia were suddenly getting along.

So why didn’t she feel happy?