Cadance Makes Lunch

by overlord-flinx

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Random
Length: 1288

One average afternoon, one average princess, one average town, and one average grocery list... Perhaps it would be best not to explore it.

One average afternoon, one average princess, one average town, and one average grocery list... Perhaps it would be best not to explore it.

An ordinary one-shot about innocent Cadance doing perhaps one of the most mundane things... Once more, perhaps it would be best not to explore it.

Published 2015-04-25 20:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-25 20:20:01 UTC

Store

To my darling niece Cadance,

How does the Crystal Empire weather treat you? It can be most biting, I know that. But, since you warmed it up with all of your love, I'm sure the cold temperature isn't that much of a problem. And speaking of problem, I've run into one recently. Don't be alarmed. It's nothing a little spackle and some heavy-duty chiseling tools can't amend. But, it's a problem that requires a great deal of attention and focus. Lest it grow too attached to the walls of the castle... Or the guards...

Regardless, I regret to inform you -much more with a note- that Canterlot castle will be closed for some time. I know you had your heart set on preparing a beautiful banquet for your husband and Twilight Sparkle today, but until this issue is resolved at the castle, I cannot spare any of my chefs or workers to assist you. This is indeed a matter only a master of the culinary crafts could handle. This may come as troubling news since I gave my word you would have the finest gourmet chefs of Canterlot at your disposal; but I do have a means to assist you in another way.

Instead of preparing a lengthy banquet, I am told that the local grocery store sells these ready-to-heat dinners. They come in a wide variety, or so I'm told. Perhaps you can purchase a high amount of them, warm them up, and display them to your family as a well planned meal. It's the thought that counts. Enclosed in this letter, I have provided more than enough money for you to buy a feast for them. Consider it my deepest apology for not coming through for you.

Best of luck,

Celestia.

Indeed there was a large sum of bits attached to the letter. But, the money only made Cadance smile. Aunt Celestia always tried to be the most accommodating pony around; putting herself out whenever she could. Except now it was Cadance's turn to put herself out. Out there among the other ponies. For years she's had others doing the cooking for her; packing up lunches for her sweet hubby, but now Celestia had offered her a golden opportunity. Enough bits to buy enough minute-ready dinners to make a feast? Well, how many ingredients to make a dinner could you buy with all this money?

"I'll go out to the store, buy all the food I need to make a great dinner, and show aunty Celestia that I can cook. Won't Shining Armor be so amazed. It'll be like I'm one of those homemaker wives you read about in all the romance novels...!" The idea made her so giddy. She could have thrown a parade with how excited she felt. But, that would have to wait. Homemakers didn't throw parades... And neither would she today. Today, she would be a normal wife and sister-in-law.

Go to the store.

Buy groceries.

Go to Twilight's.

Cook a meal.

Impress everyone!

There was that giddy feeling again. She tucked the coins Celestia gave her along with her own bit of personal savings into her satchel and crept her way out of Twilight's castle before anyone would notice. It was still fairly early in the day, and since Shining Armor didn't have his guards to attend to while they were on this little vacation, he was sleeping like a log. He was so adorable while he slept... Focus! Cadance needed absolute focus to complete this mission. When she pulled this off, everyone would be blown away at what a normal wife she could be.

"You should make dinner all the time, sweetie."

"I wish you'd come visit every day!"

"Have my babies!"

Yes... Yes... She just couldn't wait. But, she'd have to keep it all wrapped up inside for now. The walk to the market would give her all the time she needed to calm her nerves. It was amazing how early some of these stores would open. The sun was only just barely over the horizon, yet Cadance could see bustling mares and stallions already making their rounds from shop to shop. Ponyville was just a more lively place compared to the Crystal Empire she guessed. So much so, nopony really noticed the tall princess walking the streets among them. Maybe it was because she wasn't wearing her crown or hoofshoes, or necklace; but she went unnoticed. She was a face in the crowd... Exciting!

Going by some vague directions Twilight once told her while they were on a 'girls night out', she found the place where she would have the best of luck getting the food she needed. A grocery store. Wall to wall food, aisles of boxes, bins upon bins of fruits. Is this where her workers would go to get food? How did they never get lost? It's all so... Big. Even-so, Cadance went up to what she assumed to be the front counter and called for attention from the clerk behind it. The moment the clerk turned to see her, they froze and fell awestruck. Well, I guess someone had to recognize her sooner or later.

"Excuse me. I was looking to buy some things. I was planning to make dinner for my sister and husband, so..."

"Say no more!" The clerk quickly waved down a few workers who quickly came to him and recognized Cadance the moment they arrived, "We'll gladly get all the food you need. Just tell us what you want."

Amazing... So this is how grocery stores worked. The wonders of the working class! One by one, Cadance rattled off a few items she thought she would need. Flour, soy beans, potatoes, some lettuce, kiwis, noodles... The workers looked a little befuddled when she would ask for something, but get in anyway for her.

"Will that be everything, your highness?"

"Almost. Thank you for all your help. All I need now is a banana." Sure enough, one of the workers dashed off and came with a bunch of bananas.

"Is that everything?"

Cadance looked at the bananas curiously before she gave the clerk a polite smile. "No-no-no. I just need a banana. This is too many."

"We sell them in bunches, your highness."

"But, I only need one." Her smile fell, looking a little more confused. "Can't I break one off and just by the one?"

"Well, you see, that's not how it really works. You just buy the bunch and taken them all. You can use the extra bananas for whatever you want."

"Yes... But, I don't want more bananas. I only need the one... If I can pay for the whole bunch, why can't I pay for a single banana?"

In all of Equestrian history, such a thing had never happened. All of Ponyville gathered there and even the whole of Canterlot; princesses and all. Many looked on in shock and horror at what was happening within the walls of the local grocery store. But, while others looked worried, three princesses covered their faces in shame along with an armored stallion. Within the store, screams could be heard while in the doorway into the store, the princess of love held a clerk hostage; her hair a mess and her front leg wrapped around his neck.

"Put the pony down, Your highness!" A guard yelled to the hostile princess while other guards started to encircle the local store.

"I just want a single banana! Why is that so hard!? I can just break it off from the bunch!" She screamed back at the crowd in hysteria.

Among the crowd, Celestia hung her head in embarrassment for her niece. "I should have sent the letter to Twilight too..."