Doing Lovely Things To Your Waifu

by Cocaine

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 4925

How to show your waifu your love properly

There are six quick, flawless and easy ways to properly making a relationship into something more. Follow these, and you'll be on your way in no-time.

--

Prequel should be read first. If you want I mean.
(If you would like a much better version: Wabam

This shit got featured. dope.

Published 2015-02-24 21:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-24 21:30:02 UTC

Step two: Making Eye Contact

Life can be pretty cruel sometimes. A sudden raise in taxes, losing your wallet, dropping your paperwork, accidentally deleting your story, stubbing your leg on a coffee table late at night- yes, life can be a real cruel mare sometimes.

And others...it can deliver everything a colt could ask for.

Hugs from random strangers, promises of good fortune, praises, the feeling of belonginess, but in no way is this more special than when it is combined into one thing- a mare.

You had one -- right next to you in fact -- and she was gazing out at the sun. She was the one that suggested a picnic, and not one for complaining especially when Apple Pie was in the equation, you accepted.

She swallowed and look from you to the setting sun. It casted a spectrum of deep red, orange and gold over the sky. "Did you enjoy the picnic?"

You nodded quickly. "My Celestia, your friend makes the best Apple Pie. Your lemon cake was pretty good too. Little...lemony, if ya get me," You nudged her playfully.

She laughed alongside you and nudged back. "You're a lemon," She shot back with venom.

"A really lucky lemon," You replied quickly, not realizing just how cheesy you're getting.

She smiled and stared up at you. Her magenta -- actually more like crimson, now that you really look at them -- were fresh like a newborn filly and just oozing with enthusiasm.

You looked away quickly, your face flushed.

"H-...hey."

You looked back immediately. She sounds hurt...! Looking back into her Crimson eyes, she kept them trained.

"Why are you avoiding my eyes?" She asked in a cool, calm voice.

"I-" You almost blurted out more than your tongue would allow. Choosing your words very carefully, not to reveal your fear, you said, "I'm afraid." Fuck.

Rainbow's expression transformed just then into a relieved smile. "Don't be," She said, looking up at you, as you looked down at her.

You could just tie a bow on her and call her a present, because she was absolutely perfect. No questions, no more doubts- seeing that face looking up at your with such a stare as hers, you smiled. You smiled so wide, you hurt from your chin to the top of your head.

Step four: Complimenting Her

It was nice when the Ponyville weather ponies were doing their job right. Especially when you take your beloved on a stroll through the park.

Rainbow looked at you as she walked by your side, occasionally bumping flanks and exchanging stares of amusement.

It was getting close to a year in the relationship and things were getting better and better. Never before had you felt more than just yourself- you felt part of something entirely, though you couldn't determine what.

With Rainbow Dash strutting beside you with a big silly smile on her face, you could get past those thoughts.

"We've been walking for like hours non-stop," You complained, your legs slightly wobbly.

She looked to you and smiled. You were expecting some teasing, but were flattered to see her gesture to a tree. "Okay, let's relax over here for a few."

You took the offer in kind, plopping on the grass with her following right next to you. You smiled at her, rubbing noses with giggles passing between.

"Goodness," You began as you looked around, to the sky, and all other direction possible. "This is a gorgeous day, isn't it?"

She nodded. "I know! I honestly didn't care about the weather a whole lot and stuff before. Ya know, weather-pony and all."

You gave an understanding nod.

"But...spending a day under it with somepony is really special," She looked you in the eyes with her crimson ovals.

You stared right back, unable to hold a toothy smile yourself. "Your mane and fur go really well with the sky. It just bursts with life."

She blushed and looked away. "Yeah, I wouldn't know."

"Hmm?" You hummed as you casually looked around, taking in the environment.

"I wouldn't know what it looks like," She repeated. Now that you looked at her, you noticed a weary smile.

You moved closer, putting a gentle hoof around her. "What do you mean?"

"I'm...K-...kind of...Actually..." She choked, still holding a smile with watery eyes.

Not on your watch. Absolutely not- no Rainbow tears. "Shh, shh," You hushed as you pulled her close and stroked her mane. "You don't ha-"

"I'm colorblind."

And never before have you heard such silence. The flow of wind against your fur, the sound of chatter nearby, the subtle thump of a foreign heartbeat- it was very, very quiet.

A rainbow-maned mare that happens to be colorblind? A dozen formulas rushed through your mind- insults, laughter, scolding. I can see it now...laughing fillies at school and teasing colts in Cloudsdale. You could have said a lot of things just then. A lot of horrible things, a lot of great things.

"Do you want to know what they look like?" You pulled her away to look in her watery, nearly pouring eyes.

"How?" She asked with her last bit of strength, now holding back from a breakdown.

You looked around quickly, finding a rather large green tree. You pointed to it, pulling Rainbow close. "That's a green tree. You see, when I see green, I don't know about any other pony, but I think it's the most relaxed, laid back color. Kinda like me, y'know?"

She smiled weakly, but wasn't convinced.

You tilted up to the sky and grinned. "The sky...can you tell when it's changing colors?"

She shook her head.

You smiled and stroked her mane gently. "In the morning, it is a bright blue and white. If you catch the sun rising real early, it looks golden. The rays of light curving over the sky and all these different shades of orange tracing back to the sun- it gives me the feeling that a new day is like a new start."

She sniffled and looked to you, gazing into your eyes. "What about at night?" She asked wit ha hoarse tone.

"Oh...at night. The sky is almost completely devoid of color. Just the naked black sky with twinkling stars to look at. You can't tell where the sky ends and where it begins. And if you caught it at dusk...it looks more gorgeous than dawn. The sun's last rays run over the sky like it is their last journey and they twist, turn and shape the sky anew. It makes me feel like...."

"Like no day is the same?" She finished.

She put your foreheads together and nodded slowly.

She smiled with a gentle nose rub, then pulled back.

"But you want to know the most beautiful thing I've ever seen?" You asked with a sweet and genuine smile.

She sighed and tilted her head to the side. Her eyes weren't watery anymore. "What's that?"

You began with a soft tone, leaning in close again. "Every single inch of you. Everything you do and say is just...what I ever wanted. But you already know how awesome you are," You rolled your eyes comically as she grinned. "But...what you don't know is just how captivating your eyes are."

Her cheeks grew a deep red blush as she looked away.

You saw the shame on her face and brought a hoof to her chin. "One day they're crimson, then magenta, then red. The first time I saw them, I just knew I was done for."

She snickered as she attempted to look back into your eyes with minimal success.

"Your mane...So amazing. I never even thought of something like that. I couldn't have, and that's what makes you so unique. The red is just....so fiery, it makes me want to dance with you. The orange is just so bright and lively, I want to experience spring, winter, fall and summer with you. The yellow has such a deep and cleansing feel to it- it is like it's just...washing away my fears. The green, like I said, is what relaxes me. Makes me want to lay down, hold you, and never, ever let you feel unwanted. The blue is such a serene color, it reassures me that I know you will be with me and that you'll support me all the way. The purple makes you look so...noble and princess-like. It reminds me that it is my duty to show you the world and give you my all and more, because you deserve everything this world and the next can offer."

You witnessed as Rainbow fell apart into your hoofs, slouching against your chest and depending on you. It gave you a rush of confidence and responsibility- Rainbow had weaknesses. This is what you were here for.

I'm not finished yet... You scooped her head up, pushing your hoof gently against her cheek. You flicked some of her mane out the way and stared into her eyes. "You see the world differently."

She looked up, giving her full attention with tearful eyes.

"But...maybe it is me and the rest of the world that has to change our perspective. You look at the sky and see lines, puffy clouds and little dots for stars. You look at your mane and see slightly different shades of grey. You look into my eyes and see grey. But when you look at me...what do you see?"

"I-..I see you." She whimpered, unable to say anything else.

"If I were colorblind, I'd see a lot of things differently. Things I don't understand. Like the sky, or the trees, or your mane and eyes. I don't understand why the sky has to be blue, or the trees are always green, why your mane is a rainbow, or why your eyes are so damn gorgeous. But...when I look at you, I see you. I understand you. I want to be with you, hold you, caress you and just make sure nothing happens to you ever."

She gently stroked your mane in return, holding your against her body. "O-o-...oh..." She mumbled in sniffles.

You smiled and rubbed a hoof along her back. You cooed softly into her ear a melody to subtle her bones, which were rattling.

"Y-y...you talk too much," She huffed out, bringing you both into a giggling fit.

"Come on," You said, sitting her upright. "We still have a couple hours to walk around."

Her lips -- accompanied by tears -- perked up into a sunny, gorgeous smile. "I'd love that."

Step five: Telling Her You Love Her

Life has a funny way of showing how much it can ruin everything you've built up. Credit score, lovelife, a story, jenga- there were countless things for life to ruin and even more ways to ruin them.

As you laid in bed with Rainbow Dash curled up against you, nuzzling your neck, you pondered this. For the fifth time.

In the past ten minutes.

Rainbow Dash was getting a keen sense lately at noticing when you were thinking about something as deep as a subject like, "Punishments of Life", so she poked her head up and said, "Whatcha thinking about, honey?"

You sighed, heaving a breath against her head. "Not-"

"Don't give me that," She snapped with a deadstare.

Damn mares...They always know. "Uhh...Just...stuff."

She scooted up closer, getting her cheek mushed against yours. "I won't stop bugging you until you tell me."

You heaved in a deep sigh again. This is going to be the toughest part of the relationship- winning. You silently laughed to your thoughts before replying. "Us, mostly."

She smiled, wrapping an arm around you. "Us? Us how? Future us? Past us? Us us?"

You patted her mane gently. "Future us," You replied before beginning a soothing stroke through her mane.

"Mmm...Tell me about it. I like it when you talk about us," She cooed against your neck.

You remained neutral, thanks to the extreme concentration you've accumulated, and sucked in some air. "I...am a little afraid. You know...you're eventually gonna have to go to college soon. I'm...not. Not to yours I mean. And-"

A cyan hoof planted itself on your mouth. "You talk too much," She said and sat up. "I'm pretty sure you do 80% of the talking in our relationship."

You smiled against her hoof, which was revealed as she pulled it away. "Which is disappointing. I love hearing you talk."

"Good, cause you're gonna hear a piece of my mind."

You clapped your hooves together excitedly.

"You complain a lot about where we are gonna be after college, the long time apart, other ponies, education, jobs, bits, but you know what I don't hear enough of?"

You shook your head.

She leaned in real close, running her chin against yours. "What we're doing right~"

You gulped and smiled sheepishly. "Ahh- yes. Uhm...I'm pretty sure I actually talk ab-"

"Shut up,"

"Yes'm."

Rainbow rubbed her nose against yours briskly and finally plopped on your chest. "Good. I'm tired."

You brought a hoof up to gently stroke her lovely mane, then down her back, back up, and repeat. It soothed her until her heart was but a flutter. "You are the most precious thing in the world."

She clutched you tight. "No you."

Sighing deeply, you watched her mane fall back into place only to be pushed back up by your tracing hoof. "I love you."

She laid on your chest still, making you question whether she heard or not. Rising slowly, she looked at you with the red in her eyes thick.

No words were exchanged. They weren't needed. Your bond was beyond that- you have ascended past the physical and into the meta. You were able to feel exactly what she was at that very moment, and she felt the same for you. You knew she was thinking, "You are one amazing colt and I don't deserve you. You are perfect in every way." Which he agreed with the deserving part, but he couldn't say he was perfect or amazing.

She knew exactly what you was thinking too. It was along the lines of, "...I can barely breath because you're sitting on my chest."

She blushed and scooted down, still holding onto your sides.

You pulled in much needed oxygen as she did so, upon which you immediately wrapped your hooves around her neck and pulled her to your side, where you proceeded to snuggle her to breaking point.

"I love you more."

Step six: Showing It

You've never been one for keeping track of time. You've been late more times than not, you forgot the season until it bites your flank, and you never remember holidays until you are forced to scramble for a present on Hearth's Warming Eve.

But this day was different.

Your anniversary to what you labeled as, "The Day I Was Born", and you were spending it with the one mare you claim responsible, Rainbow Dash.

She sat across from you inside a very high-end restaurant which had been quiet so far. That's what you like most- the quiet. Unless Rainbow Dash wants to talk, that is.

But on this night, she wasn't. Rainbow was content eating her refined meal, examining the environment, and having casual conversation with you every now and then.

You just might have been overspeculating, since it was only the first ten minutes.

"How'd you pay for all this?" She asked with an adoring smile.

You shrugged with a cocky grin. "Y'know, ways. I have ways. I know a colt."

Rainbow remained proper, finding herself able to not stick her tongue out playfully. "So...I really hate to put a damper on our lovely meal-"

You put a hoof quickly. "No, no. I understand. It is something that should be brought up..." She smiled with reassurance. "School starts soon and we have to get it figured out. I know. Rainbow Dash, I thought about it a lot...and I think you should just...go on campus."

She bit her bottom lip and leaned forward in her seat. "Are you sure....?"

"Yes." You swallowed a lot of something just then, and it wasn't saliva. "I know it's been one of your drea- Hrugf!"

She toppled against you, clutching against you from over the table. That sacrifice deserved a moment, even if it might've ruined your proper dinner.

You smiled and stroked her mane. "My precious gets everything she wants~" You cooed against her before she sat back down.

"Heh..." She looked at you with her big magenta eyes and smiled. "Sometimes I wonder if I am really just in a hospital bed, dreaming all this."

Then I hope you never wake up."

She looked at you with a playful, cocked eyebrow.

"Oh hush, you know what I meant," You both went into a slew of uncontrollable giggles before settling down.

"Ahh, you are so weird sometimes." The pegasus mused with a silly smile.

You looked at her big colorful eyes and didn't notice yourself smiling. "You know you are perfect?"

Rainbow was primed and ready to reply with an all-knowing smirk, but instead she leaned forward. "I'm only perfect because I have you with me."

That made your heart flutter a lot. "You just...don't know. You make me feel like I'm somepony else. I can't explain it...I can't explain how you just...give me everything I need with a mere look. I can't explain anything right now, honestly."

She smiled. "If anypony could, you can."

You shook your head slowly. "No...I can't." You shuffled your legs about slightly, pulling a small black box from your pocket. "Which is why I decided to have something else do it for me."

"Ohmigosh."

"Rainbow Dash,"

"Ohmigosh."

"You are...my everything. I can't live without you-"

"Ohmigosh ohmigosh."

"-I can't feel without you. I can't even see anything without you."

"Ohmigosh!"

"Rainbow Dash,"

"H-...H-...My..."

"Will you marry me?" You opened the box, revealing an insignia necklace with a deep Amathyst gem.

Rainbow Dash had a hoof on her chest as she contained further outbursts of Oh's and Mi's, as well as gosh's, as cute as they were.

You waited patiently with a longing stare into her eyes.

"Yes! Oh, yes, yes I will!" She yelled, leaping into your hoofs.

You grunted in response, wrapping a hoof around her and keeping the necklace high. You nuzzled her neck as you both embraced in the most precious, most valued of moments.

"Don't want to think about it?" You asked with a genuine smile.

She shook her head quickly. "Don't have to. I know you're the one. Just...Don't let me go. Please."

Your heart was everywhere but your chest at this point. Probably exploded out your chest and leapt beside hers. "Never. I'll always be right here, my precious."

And you hugged. For a long time. A really long time. A sway every now and then, a few whimpers, followed by some giggles, but nothing. Not a move.

Until Rainbow Dash backed up finally and sighed. She had the biggest smile you've ever seen. "U-...upon uhm...acceptance, I...have to, well." She turned and plucked a feather from her wing, holding it out for you.

You took the soft, lovely cyan feather with the utmost care. Then you proceeded to place the necklace around Rai-...Your fiance's neck.

You looked at her with a face of absolution and trust. "I love you more than you know."

"But I still love you more."

The cafe remained silent. Long since the two of you started your conversation, the store had been emptied. It was probably past business hours, but with the deep and heated story-telling you and this...'colt' were having, Bon Bon left you at bay.

Rainbow Dash's ex was staring at you in a new way. He seemed to be taking each word in slowly, distinctively and most importantly, remorsefully.

Or so it seemed.

You put a hoof on the table. "Learn anything?" You taunted with narrowed eyes.

He shifted his jaw around as he thought, upon which he nodded. "Ya, I did."

You smiled almost as wide as you did the day you proposed. Almost. "Maybe now you can hold a proper relationship, but even then I don't know."

He swallowed and looked at you with squinted eyes. "But I'm not admitting I was in the wrong. Or apologizing."

Your fumes were threatening to blow from your ears. "Are you pulling my leg?"

"No...but I want to know one thing," He looked all around you -- everywhere but your eyes -- before settling back on your focused gaze. "You still have the feather?"

You brought a hoof up, moving your mane out of the way. There it was, the bright and lively cyan feather that might just have been freshly plucked.

He nodded his head slowly. "I see...So it is true."

Suddenly, an idea formed in your head. "You know what the feather represents, don't you?"

He had a very knowing stare, despite the shaking of his head.

"It represents the life of a bond. Upon its removed from a wing, it remains strong as long as the source is happy. It's used as tradition for a pegasus to use a feather for marriage."

"What are you getting at?"

You brought a hoof up, covering a feathery object underneath. "I don't believe in the magical, spiritual sort of thing honestly, but it makes her happy. But when I saw this..." You moved your hoof away, revealing another cyan feather. It was old and bitter, many of its strands dead and gone. The color remained and it still had some life, but it was merely threads.

Rainbow's ex stared at the decrepit feather, then up at yours.

You leaned over the dying feather. "That was what was in the box she was going to give you."

You witnessed first-hoof the spiral of realization in the colt's eyes as he looked at the feather. He seemed to completely forget anypony was there. Only him and his feather.

His aged, worn-out, worthless feather.

He took it in his hoof and stood from his seat without so much as a word or glance your way.

You watched as Rainbow Dash's ex coltfriend walked out of the store, defeated, broken, dead and gone. Just like the feather given to him a year ago.

Step one: Talking To Her

You've never been the sort to go out of your way and find a mare. With all the love-stories you have read since you were a little colt filled your head with tales of dashingly good mares, a charming hero, an evil villain and most importantly, the chemistry. The hero would compliment the damsel and the damsel would compliment the hero- a perfect combination that when fused, nothing could tear it apart.

Seeing Rainbow Dash for the first time was like getting hit with a reality brick.

She was it. She had the attitude -- brash, confident and always cool, -- the looks -- magenta eyes, rainbow mane and cyan coat, -- and the most dazzling feature, a dazzling personality. She was the fastest in Equestria, she could move cities, break down boulders, fly through space and time, speak with ultimate brilliance and divine magnificence, and all while looking absolutely beautiful.

So why the hell is she sitting here with me? You thought as you examined her. And of course, no one could forget her voice. It was crisp, dangerous, adventurous, daring-to-do and absolutely perfect. It would never get old, never.

Am I even on a date right now? We can't be. She's way out of my league. You thought as you both sat and looked at each other. Feeling a little embarrassed, you turned away to find something else to focus on -- These tables are really nice! -- while she took another bite from her muffin.

"Sooooo," she sung to you from across the table. "You haven't touched your Super Pinkie Surprise yet."

"Uhh..." You gave a sheepish smile with a light shade of red as you suddenly took a massive bite out of your desert.

"Uhm...?" She gave you a cocked eyebrow.

"Hmm....?" You mumbled.

"You're biting glass."

You blinked a couple times before looking down, realizing now that desert surprise was a sundae.

She giggled -- the first time you heard it, and it is glorious -- and watched as you suddenly umclamped your mouth.

"Right," you said as you checked your teeth.

"You're really silly," she said with another laugh -- much more like herself, which is still a song in itself --  and took another bite of her muffin.

"Uhm..." You smiled with a little more red on your cheeks than you'd hope for. "I don't suppose that's why they call it a Pinkie Surprise?" You joked.

Her cheeks flourished into a full smile accompanied by a whole-hearted chuckle. She looked like she was going to say something, but decided against it.

"S-so, Rainbow Dash," you started, turning the conversation around. "I heard a lot about you."

She leaned back in her seat while her smile went into a sly grin. "I promise all the awesome stuff is true and the lame stuff is not."

"Nothing but awesome," you reassured with a smile.

As though to confirm your statement, she nodded.

"I heard you were pretty fast."

She paused mid-bite, looking at you. There was a moment where you weren't sure if she took it the wrong way -- somehow -- or is just messing with you. She did smile eventually, but it left a thought in the back of of your mind.

"You're absolutely wrong. The fastest."

You smirked with an eye-roll, then proceeded to stare into her eyes.

She blinked with a growing flush on her face. "What?"

"Ahem-" You started, looking away. Those eyes get me sometimes... "Nothing. Was just...thinking and stuff."

"Oh yeah?" She quipped with curiosity and leaned forward. "I like stuff."

"Y'know...you." You replied with a flush on your cheeks.

You only got a glimpse of her stunned face, but what you got was quite glorious. "O-oh- right. Uhm...of course you were!" She started, leaning back in her chair confidently. "It's only normal."

You rolled your eyes comically and took your first sip of the sundae, then proceeded to look elsewhere. "Y'know, this whole date, we talked about a whole lot'a nothing."

She shrugged and smiled. "I had fun. Don't need to talk about a lot of something to do that."

You thought for a moment, about nothing, and nodded. "Yeah...I guess you're right. I had fun doing...nothing with you, Rainbow Dash."

She had a silly grin on her face as she devoured her last muffin. "You going to sit there with a dumb smile on your face all day or are ya gonna ask me on another?"

"Uhm..." You barely held back a really dumb smile. "Well...you said it first."

"Heh..." She had a very genuine, very lovable look in her eyes as she said, "You know, you're pretty c- nice. I think I will."

And now you did wear a big dumb grin on your face. "I'd love that."

Step three: Petting Her

It was a couple weeks now -- maybe months -- since your first date with the rainbow maned pegasus and time was just flying by. You two had gone to the movies, had several picnics, gone to parties, played games, pulled pranks and had dinner, but now you were in an intimate situation.

Laying in bed together, lights out, watching a romantic/horror movie -- the perfect blend of scares and awes -- and Rainbow Dash was completely engrossed in the film.

You hadn't paid much attention yourself, but she wouldn't know that. You had your eyes trained on the TV for a while now, occasionally making comments at the movies' cheesy nature, but your mind was all on Rainbow.

She stuffed her mouth with popcorn. "Uhhf, whaf n' idffiotf," she mumbled as she shook her head disappointed at a a mare opening the wrong door.

Mmm....her mane smells nice. You smiled, then blinked a couple times. No, you idiot. That is so damn creepy.

"Told you," She said as the mare was captured by a ghost-pony. Sighing, she stuffed her mouth with more popcorn.

...It looks really soft too. Your eyes briefly went over her mane, which wasn't combed. Far as you're concerned, didn't need it. Would lose the style.

"Idiot...Always running upstairs when you should be going out the front door." She mumbled as she put her head in her hooves.

She looks...just so precious, laying like that. So...confident and t-

"Holy shit!"

And then you had a Rainbow Dash clung to your side.

You looked at her.

She looked at you.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"...What's up?"

"I hate spiders."

You smiled and looked at the TV to find a small spider crawling around. It was obviously part of the movie. "Really?"

"What? They're an abomination!" She protested, clinging tighter.

You grinned again. "I never thought Ms. Dash would be afraid of something."

"Ahh shut up," She collapsed back onto the bed and continued watching the movie with a bemused look on her face.

You slowly scooted closer to her, and before long, you head your head resting against hers.

She struggled to hold back a smile. Until you wrapped a hoof around her- then her lips went into a full-blown sun rise.

"Very smooth," She complimented, which was returned with a stroke of her mane. "Mmm...~"

And so, you two laid there, well after the movie was over. Much mane-stroking and back-petting was performed through the night.