EquestriaBound

by AspergerGoodness

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Random, Dark, Romance
Length: 48064

A neat crossover.

Author's Note: THE STORY IS OFFICIALLY FINISHED. THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT. I HOPE YOU GUYS WILL ENJOY MY NEXT STORIES AS WELL.

Since my first story, I have been thinking about some MLP crossovers. Rejected ideas included "Rainbow Dash's Bad Coat Day", and "Snailis and Snip-head". Eventually, I thought of something that might be the most brilliant idea I have ever had about anything. So, here it is: "EquestriaBound". If you don't even know who Giygas is, you might not like this story as much as we Itoi fans do.

I'd really like to know if you like this story or not. Feel free to comment down below, even if you want to dig my guts out with a plastic knife and wear my intestines around your neck to show others that you have killed the worst story writer in the website, to this day.

Also, check out my blog if you have any questions about the story that just can't be answered by Twilight's library.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-19 15:19:13 UTC

The Meteorite

  The year is 2002.

  Canterlot, home of the unicorns.

  Twilight's house.

  It's 3 a.m., and Twilight Sparkle is sleeping on her bed. Everything's doing just fine, when suddenly, she wakes up from a loud crash.

  "Spike? Did you break anything?", asks Twilight. She then realizes Spike couldn't have broken anything, since he was in his bed, sleeping like a baby dragon. "I think it came from outside."

  While Twilight goes outside to see what's going on, she notices a strange smell. It smells like destruction and crash-landings. She then starts to panic a little, thinking it could be some kind of apocalypse or something. In a rather uninhabited area, she sees a bunch of policecolts and curious folk around a strange, glowing area. She decides to join in, but then Snips comes out of nowhere and stops her.

  "Hey, Twilight.", says Snips. "Don't be rubberneckin'! You're getting in the cops, I mean... officers' way!"

  "I just want to see what's going on--"

  "No need to see anything. You should go home. I'll tell you more about the meteorite tomorrow."

  "Meteorite?!"

  "Yes. A strange, glowing meteorite."

  "Who do you think you are to stop me from researching about something as unusual as a meteorite? It could be an alien invasion! Or maybe it's the end of the world! I gotta see what's happening here!"

  "You can do that tomorrow."

  Twilight tries to contain her rage. "FINE." She then goes back home, grumbling about how Snips thinks he's sooo smart, and how she wasted a good chunk of her sleep just to hear that short-stack's annoying voice again.

  Later that night...

  Twilight wakes up again, this time because of a knock on the door. Of all the worst situations that would require her to get out of bed again, that was probably the most aggravating one. She goes to the door, jealous of how Spike has been sleeping like a rock the whole time.

  "Who is it?" No answer.

  "Who is it?", she says in a more cutesy tone. Still, no answer.

  "WHO IS IT??" They're not saying anything. So, finally she opens the door, and just as she suspected... it's that buck-toothed short-stack again.

  "Oh, it's you, Snips."

  "Twilight! Listen to what I gotta say!"

  "Nope. No time for that either."

  "Twilight, this is serious! Please, listen to me!"

  "Fine... what is it?"

  "When I took Snails to the place where the meteorite landed, the police that were guarding the meteorite landing left suddenly, to deal with the griffons."

  "The griffons?"

  "You know, they're the local ruffians."

  "Oh, those griffons."

  "Yeah, they were really going wild. And then I noticed Snails was gone!"

  "What do I have to do with all that?"

  "... you're my bestest friend. Won't you help me find Snails?"

  "I have no friends, Snips. Books are my friends."

  "... pretty please?"

  "Fine, I'll help you."

  "I think you should bring Spike along. There are lots of scary critters in the night, and he would offer a great help."

  "... okay, I'll wake him up. Why don't you come in while I don't come back?"

  "That would be nice."

  "Spike, wake up.", says Twilight.

  "Um... what... what is it, Twilight?", says Spike.

  "Snips needs our help."

  "Seriously? Of all the ponies that would need help at a time like this, it's gotta be Snips?"

  "I know. I feel the same way as you do. But there's no time for complaining, we gotta help him out."

  "Fine... I guess I have no choice."

  Twilight goes back downstairs, to find Snips at the fridge, searching for something to snack on.

  "Snips, get the hell out of my food.", says Twilight. "You've already been an annoyance since when I first met you."

  "Well, alright. Hey, we're still friends and all, right?", says Snips.

  Twilight looks at him with the coldest stare she could pull off. Snips just gulps and follows Twilight at a safe distance.

  Twilight notices that the night is much lighter than usual. She just rolls her eyes and sighs. It's the worst night she has ever lived through. Fortunately, she doesn't see anyone on the street. She definitely needs some time alone. Eventually, they come by the meteorite, and it's so shiny it blinds Twilight's eyes for a while.

  "Is that what we came here for?", asks Spike.

  "There he is!", says Snips. Snails is sleeping behind a tree.

  "Snails, there you are.", says Twilight. "Thank God you're not lost in some confusing maze or anything."

  "What... what is it... huh? Snips!", says Snails. "I've been looking all over for you! Why did you run away like that?"

  "Umm... what are you talking about?", asks Snips, trying to maintain his self-image.

  "Anyway, it's getting pretty late. I guess we should go home. I've seen the meteorite already, it's not as cool as you said it was."

  "Yes, please go home.", says Twilight. "I'm so sick of you, making trouble everywhere you go."

  "I didn't do anything.", says Snails.

  "Of course you didn't, Snails. Poor you, just trying to help. And your friends aren't making it any easier, are they?" Twilight pats on his head. Snails does a trademark snicker. Suddenly, the meteorite starts glowing with more intensity.

  "Twilight...", says Snips.

  "What is it, Snips?", says Twilight.

  "Do you hear this buzzing sound, like, a Parasprite flying around?"

  "Now that you mention it, I do."

  "Ugh... now we're getting into even more trouble?", says Spike. A Parasprite comes out from the glowing rock.

  "Looks like it...", says Twilight.

  "A Parasprite I am... not.", says the bug-like creature. "I'm from ten years in the future."

A Giant Step to Humanity

  "A Parasprite I am... not. I'm from ten years in the future.", says the bug-like creature.

  "ACK! Get it away from me!", yells Snips, hiding behind Snails.

  "Shush.", says Twilight.

  "I'm from ten years in the future. And, in the future, all is devastation. Discord, the universal logic destroyer, has sent all to the horror of eternal nonsense."

  Spike makes an unsure gesture with his face. Twilight shrugs.

  "However, you must listen! Where I am from, there is a well-known legend that has been handed down to ancient times. It says...

When the chosen one reaches the point, it will find the light.

The passing of time will shatter the nightmare rock and will reveal the path of light.

  You see, it is my opinion that you, Twilight Sparkle, are that chosen one. This I believe... Discord's monstrous plan must have been set in motion somewhere on Earth. If you start to confront the enemy immediately, you may have time to counter the evil intentions of Discord. Three things are of the utmost importance: wisdom, courage and (most importantly) friendship. The legends from the ancient times tell of eight ponies and a dragon, who defeat Discord."

  "That sounds like... lots of responsibility.", comments Twilight.

  "I'll tell you more later. Go now! And don't be anxious about the future! You have, indeed, much work to do, Twilight. Did you listen to what I told you?"

  "Yes, I did.", confirms Twilight.

  "Thank you for listening to my long story. You are as exceptional as I thought you to be."

  The meteorite turns back to its normal state, and Parasprite comes along with the group, as they go back home. Snips is more scared than he ever was.

  "It looks like you're in a lot of trouble, Twilight.", says Snips, shivering from both cold and fear. "Nine ponies, he said? I'm not one of those, am I?"

  "You wouldn't imagine how much I doubt it, Snips.", says Twilight, with a sarcastic smile. Nopony in Equestria could be more annoying than that gray-coated, buck-toothed weakling. Spike tries to hide his laughter.

  "What do you mean by that?", says an annoyed Snips. "Are you saying I can't handle all this?"

  "Kinda."

  "Well, you're right as always.", says Snips, letting out a nervous chuckle.

  Suddenly, a huge glow comes out from the sky, and a gray-colored, evil-looking unicorn appears.

  "It's been a long time...", says the evil being. "You've been successful at foiling Master Discord's plans. But, you must now surrender. You're no longer a hero, just a useless insect. I'll stomp you hard!"

  "Whoa, whoa, whoa.", says Twilight. "I didn't realize my first enemy would come so early!"

  "Don't worry.", says the Parasprite. "I got it covered." The Parasprite casts a powerful shield spell.

  "Fire!", yells the evil unicorn, and then he casts a fire spell.

  "ACK!", yells Snips, and then he hides behind Snails, who tries to attack the unicorn, with no apparent effect.

  Spike attacks him as well, with the same strength as Snails.

  All the while, the Parasprite keeps attacking the unicorn, annoying him to the point of giving up and leaving.

  "Looks like I failed... again.", says the unicorn, returning to where it came from.

  "Whew! I was taking a big chance there...", says the Parasprite. "He came from ten years in the future to kill me, so we can't relax yet! From now on, you'll be fighting enemies sent by Discord, as well as ponies who have evil thoughts. They'll definitely make trouble during your adventure. Animals are also becoming violent, due to Discord's influence over the evil in their minds. It is the truth, so you must listen!"

  "I'm not liking all of this... but that was pretty intense.", says Twilight. "I don't know if I can do spells like those ones."

  "You'll learn them all as time goes by. We should be going."

  "Isn't that your house, Snips?", says Twilight, reaching her current destination.

  "Yes it is! Thank you for helping me, Twilight!", says Snips, going home with Snails.

  "You're welcome... I guess. Oh hey, it's Lyra!"

  "Hey, Twilight.", says Lyra. "What are you up to at this time of the night?"

  "What are you up to?"

  "I always wake up at 6 a.m., so I can walk down the streets without anyone bothering-- EEK!", squeals Lyra, squashing the Parasprite with her hoof. "Whew! Was it the only one?"

  "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"

  "Are you crazy? Parasprites are the worst! They eat all our food, and reproduce like bunnies!"

  "Yeah, but... this one was different!"

  "You really need to stop reading those old books, Twilight." Lyra goes away.

  "Parasprite? Are you okay?", asks Twilight.

  "*gasp* I was... much weaker than I thought..."

  "Oh no!", says Spike. "What are we gonna do?"

  "Listen to my final words... to defeat Discord, your own power must unite with the Earth's... the Earth will then channel your power and multiply it... there are eight special points that you must visit. One of them is here in Canterlot. It's called the Giant Step."

  "I've been there before!", says Spike. "It's called Giant Step because a giant dragon used to live there. I don't know about now, though."

  "Yeah, I've read about that as well.", says Twilight.

  "You are a very intelligent unicorn.", says the Parasprite. "And... oh! The pain! Everything is getting dark... urgh! *gasp*"

  "You don't look too good..."

  "It's already dawn outside... but it doesn't really matter to me. I'm fading fast... argh! *gasp*"

  "Parasprite?", says Spike. "Parasprite, can you hear me? Parasprite? PARASPRIIIIIIIITE!"

  "I guess he's dead... well, no time for this... we gotta go."

  Back outside, the sun is already out.

  "*sigh* That was the worst night ever. Where do we go now?", says Twilight.

  "How 'bout we go help the police with the griffons?", suggests Spike.

  "... yeah, that would give us some credibility."

  "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

  "Hey, Twilight!", Vinyl comes in. "Where are you going?"

  "Oh, hey, Vinyl. I'm going to the city."

  "Why are you going there? Don't you know there are griffons all over the place?"

  "That's exactly why I'm going there."

  "Good luck. Hey, you're bringing Spike along?"

  "Yeah."

  "Such a cute little baby dragon! Why are you taking him to such a dangerous place?"

  "Hey! I'm no wimp! I could beat 'em all up if I had slept a few more hours."

  "Haha! You sound so cute when you're annoyed. Anyway, I gotta go! Bye!"

  "Bye...", says Twilight. "I think I've seen her before... was that DJ PON-3?"

  "Yes."

  "WHAT? How didn't I recognize her? I have all of her albums!"

  "You really need to start reading something else, instead of those old books."

  "Wait a minute... how did she know my name?"

  "Well, after the rainbow explosion, you've become quite famous around town."

  "I'm famous?"

  "I'd say you're just a meme."

  "Anyway, no time for that! We should be going!"

  Arriving at the city, the duo notices that the griffons are much wilder than usual. They saw griffons on pogos, griffons on skateboards, and griffons on hula-hoops.

  "Those pesky griffons!", says the mayor. "They just won't leave us alone!"

  "Maybe I can help.", says Twilight.

  "You? ... okay, if you really wanna try helping, they're at the Arcade. Good luck." She was so desperate that she would accept all the help she could get.

  "That was easier than I thought.", says Spike.

  At the Arcade, the griffons see the duo. Twilight tries using her manners, as always.

  "Excuse me... the townsfolk are not liking all the mess you guys are doing. Could you please leave?"

  "Make us.", says one of the griffons.

  "Don't worry, Twilight, I got this.", says Spike. "Hey, you wingheads! We're looking for some neat fightin', so you better show us your leader now!"

  "How tough are ya, buddy?", says a tough-looking griffon.

  "How tough am I? I eat a bowl of nails for breakfast!"

  "So?"

  "... without any milk."

  "Right this way, sir. Wait a minute! What about you, the purple unicorn? You don't look that tough!"

  Twilight then rips off the griffon's tattoo and puts it back, upside-down.

  "*sob* ... this way..."

  Arriving at the leader's room, they see a female griffon.

  "I'm Gilda. You are... ?"

  "I'm Spike! Where's your leader? I'm lookin' for some real nice brawlin'!"

  "I'M the leader."

  "You're the leader?", says Twilight.

  "Yes. Got a problem with that?"

  "Well... I wasn't expecting a girl to be the leader."

  "What do you have against it?", asks Twilight.

  "Nothing, nothing..."

  "Are you saying I'm too weak to be the leader of the Griffon Gang? I can sure do this."

  Gilda takes Spike by his hand and whacks him around the floor.

  "Um... you sure are tough."

  "What about you, purple coat? What are you doing here?"

  "I just came here to suggest you to leave this town immediately."

  "What if I don't want to?"

  "Then, I'll do this." Twilight uses a powerful spell she learned when she was young. It did loads of damage to Gilda and the griffons that were nearby.

  "*cough* Come on, griffons! Let's get outta here!" Gilda and the Griffon Gang run away.

  "Wow, Twilight! Where did you learn this? That was awesome!", says Spike.

  "Well...", says Twilight, blushing lightly. "... I learned it when I was just a young filly."

  "With that problem solved, maybe we should start heading for the Giant Step."

  "Well, the Giant Step is behind a shack, and that shack is locked."

  "Where's the key to it?"

  "I think the mayor has it."

  "Let's talk to him then."

  At the Town Hall, the duo goes to the mayor's room.

  "Hey hey hey!", says the mayor. "I'm Mayor R. J. Pickle! It's so nice to meet you!"

  "Same here, dude.", says Spike.

  "Thank you so much for helping us. You beat up the griffons, punched them out big time, kicked their butts, bit their heads off, spit in their eyes, and made them cry like babies. Then you forced them to promise not to make any more trouble! Thank you!"

  "Yeah, we're pretty awesome.", says Spike. Twilight giggles.

  "Um... we're trying to enter the Traveler Entertainers' Shack. Could you give us the key for it?"

  "... well, for someone as great as you, giving you the key could help make this town peaceful."

  "Trust me, it will."

  "Here ya go.", the mayor gives Twilight the key to the shack. "However, if you encounter a dangerous situation, please don't ask me to take any responsibilty."

  "We'll be fine.", says Spike.

  At the shack, Twilight notices that the walls have holes all over them, and all the furniture is either dirty or broken.

  "Wow... what a nasty place.", comments Twilight.

  "Doesn't look that bad to me.", says Spike. "Hey, isn't that the Giant Step right there?"

  There's a huge hole on the wall, and on the other side is a cave.

  "I've read that the Giant Step has a strange power inside it.", says Twilight. "No one can describe it exactly, but it seems that it gives us a really good feeling about ourselves."

  "Isn't that the Feel Good Inc.?", jokes Spike.

  "Yeah, keep joking while you still can."

  "Let's go in!"

  "Really dark place, isn't it?", comments Twilight.

  "I'm sure we can do it.", says Spike. "It's just a few alcoves here and there, and we'll be there in no time."

  "HALT! Who's there?", says an unfamiliar voice.

  "This is Spike! Who are you?"

  "Spike?", a pony bearing a huge resemblance to Trixie (but gray-colored) shows up. "Never heard of you."

  "Um... we're looking for the Giant Step.", says Twilight. "Do you know the way?"

  "Yes, I do. Are you Twilight Sparkle?"

  "Yep. I didn't know I was that famous."

  "Famous? You're the one who's going to defeat Master Discord! I'm here to stop you."

  "Stop me? Are you sure you're alright?"

  "I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, Discord's most trusting servant. Now, let's get this over with."

  "No, wait!"

  "Antoids! Attack them!" Black Antoids appear everywhere.

  "Black Antoids?", says Spike. "Those are pretty dangerous!"

  "Not if I can do this!", Twilight casts a powerful spell again, not as devastating as the one in the Arcade. But it's enough to take out all the antoids in the area.

  "You sure are strong, Twilight Sparkle.", says Trixie. "But I'm much stronger than you!"

  She then summons two Titanic Antoids to join in.

  "Spike, you can breathe fire, right?", asks Twilight.

  "Kinda... why are you asking?"

  Twilight grabs the baby dragon and slaps him on the back, causing him to burp a huge stream of fire, taking out everyone in sight, except for Twilight and Trixie, who regains her blue color.

  "Ugh... where am I?", says Trixie, looking confused.

  "Now, will you show us the way?", asks Twilight.

  "The way to where?"

  "Wait a minute... were you brainwashed?"

  "I think I was. The last thing I remember is... a wacky-looking dragon telling me some weird stuff about hypnosis and... killing you."

  "Well, you still know the way to the Giant Step, don't you?"

  "What? Sure, I do. Follow me."

  "Here it is.", the trio arrives at a pacific-looking place, with a huge footprint in the middle.

  "This is the footprint of the Giant Step dragon!", says Spike.

  "That's right, Spike. Where did you get all smart like that?", says Trixie.

  "I'm her roommate.", Spike points at Twilight.

  "Well, that explains it.", Trixie giggles. Twilight doesn't think it's that funny.

  "I don't know why", says Twilight. ", but I'm suddenly feeling really good right now."

  "That's because of the special powers of the Giant Step. According to the legend, only the chosen one can absorb the true spirit of the eight sanctuaries. And this is one of them."

  "Sanctuaries? You mean there are more places like this?"

  "All over Equestria! I read books too, you know."

  "I wonder what that true spirit feels like. Oh, there it is!"

  "What's going on, Twilight?", asks Spike.

  "I can feel it! I'm absorbing the true power of the Giant Step!"

  "I don't see anything."

  "I can hear something. Sounds like a song. A really calming song..."

  "I don't hear anything."

  "It feels so relaxing..."

  "I don't feel anything."

  "It stopped... is that it?"

  "I think so...", says Trixie.

  "Just a song? A rather short one, as well?"

  "No one has ever heard it here. Twilight... I think YOU'RE the chosen one!"

  "I already knew that. This song must be of extreme importance. I better memorize all of it."

  "... so? Memorized it yet?"

  "... I can only remember the first notes."

  "That's sure to be bad..."

  "BAD? IT'S EFFIN' HORRIBLE!!! Wait a minute... maybe I'll get to hear it again in the other sanctuaries."

  "Do we know that song?", asks Spike. "Is it the one by Gorillaz?"

  "That joke again, Spike?"

  "What? It makes you 'feel good', doesn't it?"

  "Well, I guess we should be going then.", says Trixie. "Twilight, I want to ask you something."

  "What is it, Trixie?", asks Twilight.

  "Can I come with you? I've got this weird feeling that I should join you guys on... whatever it is that you guys are doing."

  "Sure. Maybe you're one of the nine ponies."

  "What?"

  "It's a long story. I'll explain you on the way."

  When the trio comes out of the cave, a police pony is waiting for them.

  "Stop right there! What are you doing here?", asks the police pony.

  "Um... we're... researching?", says Twilight, coming up with the same excuse that she uses in every other situation.

  "Yeah, right. The sign says DO NOT ENTER! Couldn't you read it?"

  "... I didn't see it.", says Twilight.

  "... I can't read.", says Spike.

  "I was already here.", says Trixie.

  "Just look at you.", says the police pony. "Coming up with lame excuses just to avoid the law. This is just the start. Soon, you'll be robbing liquor stores, selling crack and messing with school kids. You come with me."

  "No, wait!", says Twilight. "You don't understand! The world depends on us!"

  "I pity you guys. You didn't spend one single day in jail, and are already going insane. Don't worry, I'll try to soften your punishment."

So Happy

  "Why is the road to Ponyville closed?", asks Captain Wrong, to the trio of worldsavers that is Twilight, Trixie and Spike. "An emergency, of course! At times like this, kids like you should be watching cartoons."

  Twilight doesn't respond. She's too busy trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with those guys.

  "We didn't even think about going there!", protests Spike. "We were in the Giant Step!"

  "It doesn't matter. You couldn't go there either."

  "We didn't do anything illegal!", says Trixie.

  "Got any proof? You're still going to spend a week in jail."

  "Doesn't sound like much.", says Twilight. Suddenly, the police colt comes in. It was the same guy who stopped them on the entrance to the Giant Step.

  "Captain?", asks him.

  "What is it?", asks the Captain.

  "I'd like to talk to you for a moment, about those three girls."

  "Sure."

  The colt talks to the captain for some time, while the worldsaving trio hopes for something really awesome to happen now.

  "Good news, everyone.", says the captain, after quite some time of talking to his assistant. "I've decided that you're not going to jail."

  "We aren't?!", asks Twilight, who's suddenly got a nice smile on her face.

  "You aren't. BUT! You're still going to pay for what you did."

  "... with what?", asks Trixie.

  "Follow me."

  Ol' Wrong and the worldsavers come to the jailcells, but they pass right through them, to arrive at the last door.

  "Where are we going again?", asks Twilight. The captain opens the door, to reveal an empty room.

  "Just stay here while I take care of something real quick.", says the captain before leaving.

  "Do I know where this is going?", asks Spike. "This is a fanfic after all..."

  "A fanfic?!", says Trixie. "OH, PLEASE, NO!"

  "Relax, you guys.", says Twilight. "This is AspergerGoodness's story. It's not like we're getting raped or anything like that."

  "If you say so..."

  The captain comes back, with five of his assistants.

  "Here's the deal.", says the captain. "Let's see if you can get past five of my best men."

  "Are we gonna fight them?", asks Spike.

  "Yeah. If they win, I'll put you guys in jail for one week. If you win... I'll see if I can decide before this is over."

  "See? I told you we'd be fine.", says Twilight.

  "Fight!"

  The five cops attack the trio, one at a time. They are easily defeated, because of Spike's fire-breathing abilities... except for the fifth cop. He chickened away. The captain decides to break the rules, like he always do. He's Captain Wrong, after all.

  "Okay... looks like you won. Now you gotta get past me!"

  "That wasn't in the rules.", says Twilight.

  "It is now! There is no way I can beat you in a straight competition, so get ready for my Super Ultra Mambo-Tango-Foxtrot martial arts!"

  The captain was really tough. He could easily avoid Spike's fire breath and Trixie's magic spells. He packed a good punch, but was then defeated by Twilight's powerful spell. You may be saying, "geez, this is getting too easy. twilight just uses her spell and everythings fine." Trust me, it'll get interesting later.

  "You guys sure are tough.", says the captain. "Well... you won the challenge. Do you want anything?"

  "Twilight...", says Trixie. "... I think we should be going to Ponyville now. I got this weird feeling again."

  "Okay then.", says Twilight. "Captain, could you open the road to Ponyville for us?"

  "Sure. Don't do anything stupid, okay?", says the captain.

  "We won't."

  "Just give me a sec. I'll radio my staff and give them the word. *beep, beep*... *click*... *rrr* *click* Wrong here... do you read me? *krrrr* Hey! ... it's me, Captain Wrong! Okay, listen, two unicorns and a baby dragon will be there in a few minutes... one is purple and the other is dark blue. I want you to open the road to Ponyville for them... I know that... I know that! Don't ask me why, just do it! It's an order! ... Wrong out."

  "Can we go now?", asks Twilight.

  "Yeah. I'm not going to question you now, but I do want to see you again... good luck."

  "Thanks!", the trio leaves the station.

  "Hey, Twilight.", says Doctor Whooves, blocking the way. "I hope you got some time on your hooves."

  "Um... sure. What is it?", says Twilight.

  "Come here, I've got something really interesting to show you guys."

  Arriving at his house, they see a shiny statue in the shape of a unicorn.

  "I found this in the middle of my gold-mining, and decided to call it the Luna Moona Statue."

  "Nice. You gonna sell it?"

  "Sell it? Dang right I will! This thing must be, like, a million bits!"

  "Nice to know you're winning some money. Now, we gotta go."

  "Bye, Twi'! And don't even think about stealing my Luna!"

  "Sure..." Doctor Whooves was never that greedy before.

  Arriving in Ponyville, the trio sees a market area.

  "I don't know about you guys...", says Twilight. "... but I'm getting pretty hungry."

  "Me too.", says Spike.

  "Me three.", says Trixie.

  Twilight giggles. "Let's try to find someplace to eat then."

  They eventually come out of the market with their saddlebags full of supplies.

  "Looks like we got enough food for the next few hours.", says Twilight. "Let's go ask for some information now."

  "How about that shack over there?", asks Spike.

  "Yeah, maybe someone living there could help us."

  At the shack, they see a weird-looking colt (Caramel) on the roof.

  "Hey! Could you give us some information?", asks Twilight.

  "Wah ha ha! Why don't we chat later... after we've locked horns?", suggests Caramel. He then jumps out from the roof and lands on the floor, clumsily.

  "No, I don't wanna fight you!", says Twilight. Caramel doesn't listen. Instead, he keeps attacking, to no apparent avail.

  "Get off me!", Twilight pushes him back. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

  "Stop it, dude.", says Spike. "We ain't here to fight."

  "Ahem... sorry 'bout that. Anyway, I'm Caramel, boss of Burglin Park.", says him.

  "Burglin Park?"

  "You know, the market area."

  "Oh."

  "Anyway, you said you wanted some information, right?"

  "Yeah.", says Twilight.

  "What do you wanna know? I know everything about this town."

  "Do you know if there are any places nearby, where you get a... special feeling, which feels really good... in a really weird manner?"

  "Well... I think I do. However, I think you'll end up finding it after I tell you about something else."

  "What is it?"

  "Here in Ponyville, lives a young pegasus called Fluttershy. Now, even though this is not the point, she used to be the best friend you would ever have in Ponyville. Suddenly, she's acting all grumpy and selfish, for no reason."

  "What does that have to do with what I'm looking for?"

  "I'll get there in a sec. Besides all that, she got kidnapped by a chubby, gray-coated unicorn, and a weird pony in a blue outfit. They said they were going to make her some sort of sacrifice."

  "Sacrifice?!", asks Spike.

  "Yep. They were definitely hardcore strange. You better hurry up. If you save her, be sure to come back here, okay? Don't forget!"

  "We won't.", says Twilight. "Oh, and where is all this happening?"

  "Over there, in the Peaceful Rest Valley."

  "Got it. Thanks, Caramel!"

  "You're welcome!"

  "Twilight, look!", says Spike, pointing to a red house next to an orange one. Next to them is a sign that says "Inventors of Ponyville".

  "Sounds useful.", says Trixie.

  "We better hurry up, though, before anything horrible happens to Fluttershy.", says Twilight.

  "Let's go to the orange one first.", says Spike.

  "Hello there!", says Silver Spoon. "I am Silver Spoon, the official inventor of Ponyville. Would you like to buy one of my inventions?"

  Twilight looks at what Silver Spoon has in stock. The only thing she can see is a weird-shaped object that doesn't even seem to work at anything. "What does that do?", asks her.

  "Oh, that? I like to call it the Super-Silvester. Try it! Just press the button."

  "This one?"

  "Yea."

  Twilight presses the button. The machine plays a really weird song.

  "It's called 'Ode to Silver Spoon'.", says Silver Spoon. "You like it?"

  "Is that all?"

  "... yeah."

  "I think I'll pass..."

  "Oh, right. Then you'll go to ol' Twist's house, I'll bet. I'd like to warn you, though, she doesn't have anything more useful than my invention."

  "I think I'll try her anyway."

  "Welcome to the House of Twisted Inventions!", says Twist, the nerdy school kid. "Can I help you with anything?"

  "This place smells funny.", comments Spike. Trixie hits him with her elbow. "Ow!"

  "Well, I have sort of neglected doing my housework... I know it's a bit of a pig sty, but anyway... I'm Twist. I haven't taken a bath in quite a while, so I may be kind of stinky."

  "... nice to meet you, Twist.", says Twilight, a bit grossed out, but it's still tolerable.

  "By the way, I'm starving. Do you have something to eat?"

  Twilight takes a hay sandwich from her saddlebag and gives it to Twist, who devours it in two bites.

  "Thanks. You seem very nice. Um, I wonder if... you would like to invest some money in my inventions?"

  "Let me see what you've got back there."

  "Here it is: my very own invention catalog!"

  The three heroes have never seen such a wide variety of creative stuff, stuffed together in one place. Aside from other stuff, they see a hamster mansion (complete with exercise wheel), a dual portal gun and a biological calculator.

  "Your creations look really useful...", says Twilight. "... some of them, anyway."

  "So, are you guys interested?"

  "I think I'll give you a chance. You seem very worthy."

  "Oh, thank you! ... I could really use $200."

  "Here ya go."

  "Thank you. I won't let you down! Oh, and have you met Angel yet?" Angel Bunny comes near.

  "Aww, he's so cute!", says Trixie.

  "He used to be Fluttershy's pet, but when she got kidnapped, I decided to take care of him while she's gone. Anyway, he's going to be your informer. I'm working on something right now, and when I'm done, he'll make sure you know about it."

  "How is he going to do that?"

  "He has connections."

  "Okay, I think it's time to go.", says Spike. "Fluttershy is still in danger, you know."

  At the Peaceful Rest Valley, they find a pencil-shaped statue in the way.

  "What the heck is this?", asks Twilight.

  "For some weird reason, a pencil-shaped iron statue is blocking the path!", says Spike.

  "How are we going to get past it?", asks Trixie.

  Suddenly, a weird-looking pony falls down from the sky, with Angel Bunny on her back.

  "I am Photo-Finish.", says her. "I come down from ze skies to take photos of vonderful scenarios such as zis one."

  Angel comes down from Photo's back and gives Twilight a recorded message.

"Hello... this is Twist. I've just finished work on this great invention! Get over here as fast as you can! This thing is soooo cool! Meet me at the Burglin Park!"

  "Now, get ready.", says Photo-Finish. "Say: fuzzy pickles!" She then takes a photo. "It's great! It'll sure last a good few generations. Now, Angel Bunny, it's time to go back."

  "That was... slightly odd. Were those $200 really worth spending?", asks Spike.

  "Come on, you gotta trust her. Do you see how much stuff she has invented before?"

  "Well, I don't know if it's going to be any help in our situation."

  "I'm feeling a little out of it because I've been working all night...", says Twist. "... but finally, the Pencil Eraser is ready!"

  She holds up a pencil-shaped gadget with "Pencil Eraser 1.0" written on it.

  "What does that do?", asks Trixie.

  "This machine will eradicate all pencil-shaped figures in just one second. It's incredibly powerful."

  "Told ya.", says Twilight to Spike.

  "Just don't use it near a shop that sells pencils. Here, it's yours now."

  "How much is it?", asks Trixie.

  "You guys are my first sponsors, so everything's free. Besides, I heard you guys are going to save the world."

  "That's right.", says Spike.

  "Just think of how recognized I will get when they find out that the saviors of the world are sponsoring me!"

  "I'm sure you'll get really famous. Now, we better hurry up.", says Twilight.

  As she sees the trio leaving Ponyville again, Silver Spoon knocks on her own head, jealous of Twist's success.

  Back at the Peaceful Rest Valley, the trio erases the pencil-shaped statue, and after some walking, they arrive at a strange village, where everything is painted blue.

  "Must... resist... making jokes...", says Spike, trying to keep from making another unfunny musical joke.

  "Would you like to make a donation?", says Bon-Bon, popping out of nowhere, holding a small box.

  "Sure.", says Twilight. Bon-Bon gives her a postcard.

  "Hey, Twilight...", says Trixie. "... I think that cave over there can lead us to our destination."

  "Why don't we just ask for information?"

  "Are you crazy? These ponies look so... wicked." Indeed, they look really wicked.

  "... I think you're right. Let's try not to talk to them."

  The trio arrives at a small, lonely shack. They can hear some angry sobbing, coming from inside.

  "Hello?", asks Twilight. "Is anyone home?"

  "GO AWAY!", says a loud scream. "Actually, don't. Come in."

  Inside the shack, they find a gray-colored pegasus, tucked in the corner of her prison cell.

  "Are you Fluttershy?", asks Trixie.

  "Yes I am.", says her. "Why? Are you taking me to the sacrifice room? I'm not going."

  "No, we're here to save you."

  "Yeah, right. That's what they all say. Why does everyone think I'm the brainless one?"

  "Come on, Fluttershy.", says Spike. "You gotta give us a chance."

  "If I was dumb enough to believe you, what would you guys do?"

  "Relax, Fluttie. We don't think you're dumb. However, we all should dare to be stupid at some point in our lives!"

  "Spike!", says Trixie. "This isn't the time for jokes!"

  "Haha, I get it!", laughs Fluttershy. "But anyway, I won't join you just because of a good joke." The trio notices a slight change in her color.

  "You should join us, Fluttershy!", jokes Spike. "And we will make your face the greatest in Ponyville! Or else you will die!"

  "Oh my gosh, I get that one too!", says Fluttershy. "Aren't you just making these jokes to get me into your nasty tricks?"

  "Nasty tricks don't mean a thing!" Fluttershy turns all yellow again.

  "Okay, I've decided to give you a chance, since you're actually wasting some of your time to persuade me into joining you."

  "We retire like nopony else!"

  "Here is the Franklin Badge. It protects you from lightning." Twilight receives the Franklin Badge. "Trust me, it's really useful against that pitiful, unlikeable son of a goat that is Mr. Carpainter."

  "Carpainter?", asks Trixie.

  "He came from Cloudsdale's worst part of town, to spread his dumb religion all over Equestria."

  "Religion?"

  "According to him, 'blue is God's favorite color, and he spreads doom over the villages that don't have blue painted all over them'. That's really stupid, if you ask me. And you know what's the worst part of it? Those pea-brained ponies actually believe that idiot... except for me and Pinkie Pie, of course."

  "How stupid do you have to be to actually believe this nonsense?", says Twilight.

  "I know, right? Anyway, you should be going now. And listen to me: if I ever find out that I couldn't trust you guys at all, I swear I'll find a way to murder you in your sleep. I CAN do that, if you're wondering."

  "Don't worry, Fluttershy. We'll save you as soon as we can."

  "I know you will. You guys seem worthy."

  When the trio exits the shack, Twilight finds Snips in a blue outfit.

  "Hey, Twilight.", says him. "You're just here to bother me, aren't you?"

  "SNIPS? What the hell are you doing here?!", asks Twilight.

  "You can call me Master Snips, since Mr. Carpainter made me an important person in Happy-Happyism. You should join us, but I know you won't."

  "Fluttershy was right. Happy-Happyists are pretty stupid.", thinks Twilight to herself.

  "I'm glad I joined. Anyway, I gotta go. Take care of some important business, you know. Later, potater..."

  The trio returns to the village, and goes to the main church in the middle of the area. Inside, they find loads of ponies dressed in blue outfits.

  "Excuse me.", says Twilight. "Could you tell me where is your prophet?"

  "He's right over there.", the blue-outfitted pony points to a large door across the room.

  "Thanks."

  After crossing the huge sea of Happy-Happyists, they come to the donation room.

  "Aiiiieeeeee!", screams a not-important pony at the balcony. "... I didn't know what to do, so I screamed."

  "Are you Mr. Carpainter?", asks Trixie.

  "No. He's Mr. Carpainter.", he points to a nicely-dressed coat with a really cool 'stache.

  "Hello, my fellow Happyists.", says him. "Would you like to donate?"

  "Yes, we would!", says Spike. "We'd like to donate you a million bits worth of pain!"

  "That was a good one.", says Trixie. "You been practicing?"

  "... I often do it when no one's watching."

  "How dare you question God's word?!", protests Mr. Carpainter.

  "It's not God's word. It's more like a loser's babbling."

  "Why, you... you deserve to be struck by lightning!"

  Lightning comes from all corners of the room, but the Franklin Badge deflects it and strucks Carpainter instead, leaving him in a state of shock.

  "W... w-where am I? And why is everything blue? I HATE blue!"

  "You got brainwashed as well?", asks Twilight.

  "Do you see the Luna Moona statue behind me?" The trio notices the Luna Moona statue. "Since I bought it from Doctor Whooves, I have been doing some rather peculiar things. Please, forgive me... if you can. I just wanted to have a normal life. I apologize to everyone."

  "So, will you let her go?"

  "Her? OH YES! I FORGOT! Here's the key to the cabin where Fluttershy's being held!"

  When the trio exits the church, they see Snips again.

  "Wow... what a horrible nightmare. I somehow woke up.", says him.

  "Oh, hello there, Scissorhead.", says Twilight.

  "I'm sorry, Twilight. Let's be friends again. I promise to be good... okay?"

  "I'll think about it."

  "Hah! I lied! See you, bookworm!", Snips runs away.

  "Dimwit.", says Twilight, with a low voice tone.

  "I knew I could trust you!", says Fluttershy, happier than ever, hugging Twilight with all of her appreciation.

  "No problemo.", says Spike.

  "Fluttershy...", says Trixie. "... would you like to save the world with us?"

  "Save the world? Who's trying to ruin it?", asks Fluttershy.

  "I'll explain on the way.", says Twilight. "Would you like to be a hero?"

  "Fine by me... I'll let Twist take care of my animals. I'm sure she's as good a babysitter as I am."

  "Have you ever been to the Giant Step?", asks Spike.

  "Yes, I have. Why do you ask?"

  "We're looking for a place with the same strange powers as the Giant Step."

  "Well, there is a place like that right next to this shack. Here, I'll show you the way."

  "Here it is.", says Fluttershy. "The Lilliput Steps. The name comes from the legend that, a long time ago, here lived a legion of really tiny creatures called dwarfs. The leader's name was Lilliput, and they lived for a good 2000 years."

  "Here it comes.", says Twilight. "It's that song again!"

  "What song?"

  "She says she keeps hearing some kind of lullaby.", says Spike.

  "I don't hear anything..."

  "And... it's over... and I can memorize a few more notes.", says Twilight.

  "What does the song have to do with anything?", asks Fluttershy.

  "According to the legend, only the chosen one can hear the song that ends all evil on Equestria.", says Trixie.

  "Twilight? Are you the chosen one?"

  "I think I am. Pretty wacky, ain't it?"

  "Let's go back to Ponyville. They must be worried sick about me...", says Fluttershy.

In the Key of Giygas-Major

  "Welcome back, Fluttershy!", says Caramel. "We were so worried about you!"

  Fluttershy looks around. Everyone in Ponyville is happy for her. Some of them are cheering.

  "Caramel...", says Fluttershy. "... could I ask you something?"

  "Sure! What is it?"

  "I think I want to join them."

  "Join who?"

  "Twilight and her friends. I want to save the world with them."

  "Fluttershy! I've never seen you so determined!"

  "I just want to make a difference... if that's okay with you."

  "Fluttershy, it's perfectly okay to follow your dreams. Go for it! We'll be cheering for you!"

  "Thank you for everything.", says Fluttershy, hugging Caramel while letting her tears flow out.

  Twilight and Trixie watch the scene, admired by the excessive cuteness of the situation. Spike just rolls his eyes.

  "You're welcome. I think your next destination should be Spooktown. However, there are way too many ghosts at the road. I don't think you can get past them right now."

  "I'm sure we'll find a way.", says Twilight.

  "I was going to give you this." Caramel takes out a wad of bills. "It's worth ten thousand bits."

  "Ten THOUSAND bits?!", says Spike. "We're rich!"

  "I recommend ourselves to spend it on something important.", says Trixie.

  "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to look for the evil Luna Moona statue that Doctor Whooves unearthed in Canterlot. I'll see you in another time, in another space."

  "Twilight...", says Fluttershy. "... can I ask you something real quick?"

  "What is it?", asks Twilight.

  "I was planning to see the DJ PON-3 concert today. I was wondering if you could let me--"

  "DJ PON-3 is here?! Why didn't you say so? Of course we're gonna see her!"

  "Well, it should be starting really soon at the Chaos Theater. Come with me, I'll show you the way."

  "Are we really going to put a DJ PON-3 concert into priority?", asks Spike.

  "Doesn't look like we aren't.", says Trixie.

  Arriving at the Chaos Theater, the group sees Vinyl outside, looking a bit sad.

  "Hey, Vinyl, is that you?", asks Twilight. "What's wrong?"

  "Oh, it's Twilight Sparkle.", says Vinyl. "How are you? Don't worry, there's nothing wrong."

  "Come on, you don't need to hide yourself. Maybe we can help you!"

  "Well, if you must know... I've gotten myself in some real trouble with the manager."

  "Wkat kind of trouble? Money trouble?", asks Fluttershy.

  "Yeah. The worst kind of trouble, if you ask me."

  "How much?", asks Twilight.

  "Something like ten thousand bits."

  "What if we paid your debt for you?"

  "Oh no no no. I don't want to cause any trouble to my fans."

  "Being your fan is the only reason why we're doing this."

  "You're spending your money on helping someone who hasn't done anything for you? You really are my fans after all!"

  "You've already done enough for us with your excellent music. This is our opportunity to show you how thankful we are!" Fluttershy nods.

  "I'd like to thank you anyway. Are you gonna see the show?"

  "Yes we are!"

  "Well, I wanna give you the front seats. No need to thank me."

  "Thank you anyway!"

  The show was great. Vinyl played all of her greatest hits, along with some fan favorites, some of Twilight's favorites, as well as some unreleased songs and covers, and some extras in-between songs. It was one of the most epic nights in Ponyville's history. It was, definitely, a day to remember for your whole life.

  Now, it's time to help Vinyl with her money troubles. The group goes to the manager's room to talk.

  "You the manager?", asks Spike. Even though he's not into Vinyl's music, he still respects her, and doesn't want to be what people call a scumbag. Whatever that means, it doesn't sound good.

  "Indeed I am.", says the manager, behind the counter.

  "We'd like to stop you from bugging poor ol' Vinyl."

  "How are you going to do that? Vinyl owes me a lot of money. How will a helpless baby dragon pay such a huge price?"

  "With THIS!", Spike shows the wad of bills.

  "What's that? I can't quite see it! Let me take a reeeeeal close look!"

  "Are you freaking kidding me?", says Twilight, slapping the bills on the manager's face.

  "Whoa! I didn't see that coming... now Vinyl is free to leave. I've got no complaints now that I have my money."

  "Thank you so very much, guys!", says Vinyl, hugging Twilight with extreme appreciation. "We're both greatest fans of each other now! How can I repay you?"

  "You don't have to repay us, Vinyl.", says Fluttershy. "This is just our daily dose of kindness."

  "There MUST be something you are needing help with. Anything goes!"

  "Well, we do have a problem in our hooves right now.", says Twilight. "Could you get us a ride to Spooktown?"

  "The town of ghosts, goblins and ghoulish creatures? What are you gonna do there?"

  "We need to find a special pony."

  "A special pony? Just like that song of mine?" Spike lets out a chuckle. Nopony in Equestria can make musical jokes as good as Spike's.

  "No, not that kind of special. It's... *sigh* I'll explain everything later. Can you take us there?"

  "Sure! Follow me to the Vinyl Mobile!"

  On the road to Spooktown, the group can hear some really scary voices in their heads. Fluttershy and Spike keep having visions of mind-numbing faces everywhere. However, Trixie is always there to help them overcome their extreme fears of ghostly beings. It's always easier to overcome your fears when there's a friend by your side to help you.

  "Is anyone up for some nice music?", asks Vinyl, putting in her own copy of her last album.

  "Crank it up!", says Twilight.

  "Yeah, that sounds... nice.", says Fluttershy. Maybe her favorite music can help her relax.

  "Whatever.", says Spike.

  For the rest of the highway, the ride goes on undisturbed. Nopony's on the road except for the Vinyl Mobile, so the music can be loud enough to scare the ghosts away. I don't know why they get scared, though. It's such a great song.

  "Isn't it the best song you've ever heard?", says a happier Fluttershy to Trixie, while supporting her head on the other one's shoulder.

  "... yes...", says Trixie. Fluttershy eventually falls asleep in the cutest way possible. "... yes it is."

  When the group arrives in Spooktown, it's time to say goodbye to the Vinyl Mobile.

  "We're here!", says Vinyl. "Good luck on saving the world, Twilight!"

  "Good luck indeed...", says Twilight, admiring the extreme depression in the air.

  "This town seems pretty gloomy, but I know you guys can light it up with your own little brand of sunshine."

  "Hey, where's Fluttershy?" Spike goes back inside the van to find Trixie and Fluttershy asleep on top of each other.

  "Ain't you a cute little bugger.", says Spike. "Hey, Fluttershy! Wake up! The ride is over!"

  "... *yawn* Sure.", says Fluttershy, who then wakes up Trixie.

  "Thank you, Vinyl.", says Twilight. "We sure had a great time together."

  "Hope to see you again sometime.", says Vinyl. "Look for me to be singing at some theater in Manehattan."

  "The big city? Okay, we'll be there."

  "Bye, Twilight! Thanks again!" The Vinyl Mobile drives forth to the big city.

  "... now that Vinyl isn't here...", says Fluttershy. "... this place seems so much scarier..."

  "We'll always be here for you.", says Trixie.

  "Yep.", says Twilight. "Let's ask for information! Excuse me!", says Twilight to a pretty, but scary-looking pony nearby. "Do you know about any special ponies around this town?"

  The weird pony doesn't answer.

  "... excuse me?"

  The weird pony turns around. She has deep, distant eyes and a weird expression on her face.

  "... is anything wrong?"

  "... don't worry. Nothing's wrong.", says the weird pony, without changing her expression.

  "Good... do you know about any special ponies living here?"

  "... maybe you're the special one." The weird pony then turns into a hideous ghost and attacks the group's minds. Fluttershy's scream can be heard from miles away. The group blacks out.

  Fluttershy wakes up, to find herself in a small dungeon with the rest of her friends.

  "Um... guys?" Fluttershy checks their heartbeat. "Oh good... they're still alive. What happened? I can't quite remember... the only thing I recall is that... OH NO! GET IT OUT!"

  "... Fluttershy?", Trixie wakes up. She sees her friend on the corner, curled up into a frightened ball. "What happened? Where are we?"

  "Trixie! Thank goodness you're awake! This is the worst nightmare I have ever had... and it turns out to be real!", says Fluttershy, crying her poor little eyes out. "I don't want to die, Trixie..."

  "Who's dying?", asks Spike, who just woke up as well. "Is it Twilight?!"

  "Fortunately, no one's actually dying.", says Trixie. "It's just poor little Fluttershy, who can't stand all this scary stuff."

  "Why do these things always happen to us?", says Twilight, being the last to wake up.

  "Let's try to use that door over there.", suggests Spike.

  "What if there are ghosts on the other side?", asks Fluttershy.

  "Just relax.", says Trixie. "Twilight, you go first."

  "Fluttershy, I know this is scary and all, but we really shouldn't keep ourselves from going forward on saving Equestria from pure evil.", says Twilight. "Oh goodie. The door is locked."

  "How are we gonna get out of here?", asks Spike.

  Fluttershy starts praying quietly.

  "Fluttershy... what are you doing?", asks Trixie.

  "I'm calling out to a friend who we've never met before.", answers Fluttershy.

We Don't Know You, and We Don't Owe You

  Ice Cube Land, a small country to the north.

  Snowball Boarding House.

  Derpy wakes up from a weird dream she just had. In it, she could hear the cries from a soft-speaking pony, begging for her help to save the world from pure evil. She decides to, literally, follow her dreams and gets up.

  "Derpy? What are you doing?", says Timmy, Derpy's roommate.

  "Following my dream.", answers Derpy. "What are you doing awake?"

  "It's 5 a.m. I always wake up at 5 a.m., so I can get some time alone in school until someone else wakes up."

  "That sounds relaxing. Anyway, I gotta head south.", says Derpy, while putting a ruler and a protractor in her saddlebag.

  "Head south? You mean, the southern part of Ice Cube Land?"

  "Yea."

  "You know the dorm rules, right? If they catch you, you'll get punished big time."

  "No one's awake at this time of the night... except for you, of course."

  "Well, if you say so... I'll help you get out of here."

  "That's very nice of you, Timmy. Just make sure not to ruin everything."

  "Me, ruin everything? You're the clumsy one around here."

  "Whatever. You can come with me."

  "Shouldn't you take some food with you? I mean, it's gonna be a looooong journey."

  "Hoofmade cookies. They're all here."

  "You mean, the ones you made last weekend? Those not very tasty, slightly unclean cookies of yours?"

  "Shut up. They're better than the cafeteria, that's for sure."

  "Yeah, you're right. The school cafeteria is the only place that sells artificially-colored mold."

  "Haha, yeah."

  At the hall, Derpy can see the reason why Timmy wakes up so early. It feels like world peace to just stroll around school territory without any teachers or hall monitors to disturb you... except for the jock leaders' late-night party.

  "What are you doing at this time of the night, Jackie?", asks Derpy to Jackie, the leader of the jock leaders.

  "Oh hey, Derpface.", says Jackie. "We're just having a late-night birthday party for Bernie here. Y'know, we eat nachos and talk about girls. The usual stuff. What are you doing here with that boyfriend of yours?"

  "He's not my boyfriend. We're just really good friends, that's all."

  "Are you going to watch the sunrise together?", jokes Jackie. The whole party laughs along.

  "No. We're just looking for the locker room. Do you know where it is?"

  "The locker room?", asks Timmy. "Have you forgotten again?"

  "It's like the third time this week...", says Jackie, impressed by how many brains Derpy can lack sometimes.

  "You know I have a mental disorder. Now, could you just tell me where's the locker room?"

  "*sigh* It's downstairs.", facehoofs Timmy. Even though he has a secret crush on her, facehoofs are still worth it.

  "What are you planning to do?", asks Jackie. "There's still three hours left until class starts."

  "I'm going to save the world from pure evil.", says Derpy. The whole party chuckles intensely, trying not to wake up the rest of the dorm rooms.

  "Haha... sure, good luck on that.", says Jackie. Derpy just goes downstairs, really frustrated.

  "Oh, goodie. It's locked.", says Derpy, unsuccessfully trying to open her locker.

  "Don't you have a key?", asks Timmy.

  "I lost it again."

  Timmy sighs. He doesn't even know why he's in love with such a dumb pegasus.

  "Maybe Maxwell can help us out.", says him.

  "Is he awake?"

  "I can hear some weird noises coming from the next room."

  The duo enters the lab, to see Maxwell messing with his tools to build a weird-shaped thingie that has no apparent purpose.

  "Oh, it's you, Derpy.", says Max. "You startled me. Are you looking for a late-night snack?"

  "Sure! Whatcha got there?", says Derpy, before Timmy shuts her up with his elbow. "Ow!"

  "I'm having some trouble with my project. If only Derpy's father, Dr. Peanuts, was here. He was one of the first teachers in the Snowball Boarding House."

  "*sigh* Yeah...", says Derpy, remembering all the wonderful times she has spent with her father, in his physics teacher days.

  "I heard he's better than Einstein or Heisenberg... anyway, what are you guys doing here?"

  "We're looking for a key to Derpy's locker. She lost it again."

  "Geez... it's the third time this week!"

  "I KNOW.", says Derpy.

  "Here, take this key along." Max gives her a copy of the master key. "It's a little bent, though."

  "Haha... the key didn't work, didn't it?", asks Maxwell, after Derpy has spent a good thirty minutes trying to fit the key in, complete with Timmy laughing all the way through.

  "No...", says Derpy, slamming the key into his face. "... it didn't."

  "No need to be so harsh... for I have just finished THIS!" Max pulls out the weirdest mechanism Equestria has ever saw. "I call it the Machine That Opens Doors, Even if You Have a Slightly Bad Key!"

  "I'll just call it the Bad Key Machine.", says Timmy.

  "Whatever."

  "Okay, I got everything I need right now.", says Derpy, putting some important stuff in her saddlebag.

  "So, can we finally get out of here?", asks Timmy.

  "Yea. And look, the sun isn't even out yet... wanna see the sunrise with me, as a way to say goodbye?"

  "I would love to!"

  On their way to the school gates, they hear Jackie and his buddies having an interesting conversation.

  "Forget it, Stevie.", says Jackie. "Tessie ain't real. She just isn't."

  "Well, I got proof.", says Stevie. "See this magazine right 'ere? There's an article all about it."

  "Magazines are written lies, Stevie. Tessie still isn't real."

  "But it's the Midnight Star! It never lies!"

  "I still don't believe you. Aren't you the same guy that believes in aliens and griffons?"

  "Excuse me...", says Derpy, trying to join the conversation for a few moments. "... but I have seen a griffon before."

  "You did not.", says Jackie.

  "Not just one. I saw a whole bunch of them!"

  "Just ignore her, guys.", says David. "She's just being Derpy Hooves."

  "Anyway, I gotta go. Goodbye, y'all!" Derpy and Timmy go to the school gates outside.

  "Let's just forget all this Tessie stuff.", says Jackie. "Have you seen the Stonehenge base yet?"

  "There's a base under it?", asks David.

  "Oh yeah. It's the coolest thing I have ever seen."

  As the sun rises, it's time for Derpy to say goodbye to the Snowball Boarding House, and to Timmy, her only true friend.

  "Well, Timmy...", says Derpy. "... the time has come. You probably won't see me again in a few weeks."

  "How 'bout school?", asks Timmy. "The tests haven't even started yet!"

  "I think I can handle a low grade or two. What I'm going to do now is more important than school itself."

  "I guess you're right... but, before you go... I'd like to tell you something."

  "Well... I guess I have enough time. I still gotta see my buddy, Ol' Pete, so he can help me on finding Tessie."

  "You're going after Tessie?"

  "Of course I am! She is real. I just know it."

  "Okay... anyway, what I was trying to tell you is..."

  "... what?"

  "... I think I am... slightly in love with you."

  "Really? I've never been loved before.", says Derpy, bearing a proud smile on her face.

  "Well... me neither... right?"

  "... yeah, I think I like you too. BUT! There is no time for loving now. The world is waiting for me!"

  "... you're right! Go forward, move ahead!", says Timmy, looking a bit frustrated.

  "I'm sorry, honey, but I can't slow down something so important just because I have a new boyfriend. I hope you understand."

  "Wait... we're lovers?"

  "Well, if you don't want it, you can just say so."

  "No no no, I'm more than okay with it! And you're more than right as well! I'll just wait here... in case you come out alive."

  "I will survive. I promise you. Don't tell anyone about this, okay?", says Derpy, while kissing her new boyfriend for two seconds, and then running away.

  "I won't.", says Timmy, with hearts on his eyes.

  Derpy arrives at the Tessie Watching Club at the lakeshore, where all the Tessie Watchers wait for Tessie to come out of the lake to search for food. She sees fish everywhere, so there's no way Tessie's going to look over this. In the crowd of scientists and madponies, she sees Ol' Pete with his classic pair of binoculars.

  "Hey, Ol' Pete.", says Derpy. "Is Tessie coming today?"

  "Oh hey, it's Super Derper!", says Ol' Pete. "Tessie ain't escaping us this time! Look at all this fish junk!"

  "You could say there's not that many fish in the sea now."

  "Haw haw haw haw! I see you're the real deal! So, got any important news? I mean, you don't come here every day."

  "Well... I'm looking forward to saving the world!"

  "That's nice. We got ourselves a new hero, I see! Any more?"

  "I... have a new boyfriend.", says Derpy, blushing a little.

  "I'm happy for ya. Now, about the saving-the-world thing... are you fo' real?"

  "Of course I'm for real! Would I lie to you?"

  "Where do you wanna start? Taking short showers?"

  "It's not THAT kind of worldsaving, Ol' Pete! I'm really gonna save Equestria from all evil!"

  "You headin' south, by any means?"

  "Sure am. Maybe Tessie can take me there!"

  "I don't think she'll want to get near you."

  "Of course she will! Watch this!" Derpy then jumps into a nearby pile of fish, and rolls around it until she catches the horrible, yet pleasing scent of fishmeat.

  "Ho ho ho! You and your great ideas, Derpy! I see what you're doing there!"

  "Ain't it the best idea ever?"

  "Yes it is-- what's that noise? IT'S TESSIE!" Some strange bubbling comes up on the lake, and a huge monster comes out of it.

  "IT'S OL' TESSIE!", yells Ol' Pete. "I KNEW SHE WAS REAL! I TOLD YOU GUYS!"

  Tessie then eats all the fish piles around her, but notices Derpy, and her smell of fish. Derpy makes signals with her arms, trying to communicate with her.

  "... you don't have to make signals for me to understand you.", says Tessie, through telepathy.

  "You can use telepathy?", says Derpy, through the same telepathy.

  "Yes I can. And I see that you can use it too. Now, what do you want?"

  "I'm looking forward to saving the world, and I was hoping that you could take me to the southern part."

  "Why, yes I can. Just hop on my back and we're on."

  Derpy then hops on Tessie's back, and the duo goes forth to the lake, while Ol' Pete and his buddies stare at them, not believing what they just saw.

  "By the way, Derpy, you smell really good.", says Tessie.

  "Oh, do I?", says Derpy, with a proud tone in her voice.

  "Bye, Tessie!", says Derpy. "It was really fun to talk with you!"

  "You're welcome, dear.", says Tessie. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna grab something to eat."

  Derpy then travels around until she arrives at what looks like some kind of maze.

  "What is this madness?", asks Derpy. "Please tell me it's not a maze."

  Derpy spent a good thirty minutes trying to solve the confusing maze. She searched high and low for the exit. She tried not to eat her saddlebag cookies, even though she felt like she hasn't eaten for three whole days. She stopped at lots of dead ends. She cried in the corners. She thought about the mysteries of life and the origins of the universe. But finally, she finds the exit, after a complete waste of her time. Outside, she finds a strange-looking stallion with a really awesome mustache.

  "Maybe it was too easy?", says him.

  "Please don't make it any easier.", says Derpy, even dizzier than normal. "Care to introduce yourself? I haven't talked to people for some time now."

  "My name's Yellowbrick, dungeon developer. I've devoted my life to making dungeons."

  "You've got some real talent on your hooves, Mr. Yellowbrick."

  "Thank you very much. But you haven't seen my greatest idea yet: have you ever heard of Dr. Peanuts?"

  "I'm his proud daughter."

  "Really?! Why, it's such an honor to meet a member of the Peanuts family! Well, as I was saying, by combining my dungeon-making skills with Dr. Peanuts's intelligence, I can become the Dungeon Horse!"

  "Dungeon Horse?"

  "Yup! The first combination of horse and dungeon in history!"

  "I bet it's gonna be the rage!"

  "It sure will!"

  "Could you tell me how to find my father's lab?"

  "Oh, just head south, across the Rainy Circle and the Stonehenge."

  "The Rainy Circle? You mean, the nationally-famous Rainy Circle?"

  "Yup. Beautiful, ain't it? Your father sure has a good taste."

  "I wish Timmy was here now... we would have such a great time."

  "Who's that?"

  "Oh, he's just my boyfriend. I don't think you know him."

  "Well, congrats on that! Anyway, I think you should be going now."

  "Oh, you're right! Thank you, Mr. Yellowbrick. Keep that mustache on, next time I see you around."

  "What? Oh, haha! Yes, I will. Bye!"

  Derpy then travelled through the southern part of Ice Cube Land, while admiring her beautiful surroundings. Derpy loved to just stick around, without a care in the world, and thank the Lord for making her live in such a lovely place. For a braindead pegasus, she sure had a great taste in what she liked. She now has a boyfriend, and has just made a new friend. Everything's doing just fine. Eventually, she arrives at the Stonehenge, and sees a strange-looking hole in the middle of the area. Nearby, she sees a classy-looking colt.

  "Excuse me...", says Derpy. "... but, do you know where this hole leads to?"

  "No, I don't.", says the classy-looking colt. "And you shouldn't either. This place is far too intellectual for youngster ponies such as you to come by and spread your ignorance around."

  "Hey, no need to get offensive. Do you know where Dr. Peanuts lives?"

  "Oh, sure. That's his home right there.", he points to a wacky-looking building with LAB written above the door.

  "Thank you! I'm finally here!", Derpy rushes to the lab.

  "Hello?", asks Derpy, opening the unlocked door. "Is anyone home?"

  "Oh, come in.", says Dr. Peanut. "Who are you supposed to be?"

  "I'm Derpy Hooves."

  "Oh, sure... Derpy?! Is that you, my child?!"

  "Hee-hee, yeah."

  "Oh, Derpy, my gorgeous daughter! It's been almost ten years since I last saw you! You look so healthy!"

  "Oh, stop it..."

  "... do you want a donut?"

  "Sure!"

  "Well... I was only offering. I would also like a donut right now."

  "No worries."

  "... have you checked out Stonehenge?"

  "Yeah. Looks really cool."

  "Well, at least I asked... by the way... why are you here?"

  "I was sleeping in my dorm room, along with my boyfriend Timmy, and--"

  "Boyfriend?"

  "Yeah... nothing too serious to worry about."

  "Oh, okay... go on."

  "And suddenly, I had this weird dream where a mare named Fluttershy was calling for me, to save the world from all evil in Equestria."

  "I had the same dream! Maybe this is all destiny's work!"

  "So, she told me that she was in Spooktown, along with two unicorns and a baby dragon. She didn't tell me where in Spooktown they were, though."

  "Well, I'm still working on a Phase Distorter that can connect two points in space and time."

  "That sounds real neat."

  "It's incomplete, though. I'll let you use another invention I call the Sky Walker. It's a little old, but it'll certainly help."

  "Well, I'll just try to figure out the destination by myself then."

  "Here it is." Peanuts takes off the sheet that was covering the neat-looking ship. "Isn't it neat? Get in!"

  "How does it work?"

  "I already programmed it to head for Spooktown. Just push that button over there, but first: what's all this boyfriend stuff?"

  "Oh, dad, it's nothing serious. Maybe it is... but we didn't do anything yet. We just watched the sunrise together and kissed. Nothing more."

  "Oh, alright. You're growing up, and I can't deny it. I'm not like most fathers. Anyway, good luck on saving the world! I'm afraid I'm going to have an important role in this story as well."

  "Thank you, daddy, for everything you ever gave me."

  "You're welcome, sweetie. Now, it's time to go to Spooktown! Let's get together again in ten years or so."

  "Haha, let us."

  "Ten years is too much, isn't it?", Peanut realizes what he just said. "Le's get together again in a few weeks."

  "That's better.", laughs Derpy.

  "Alright, enough with the chit-chat! If I had it my way, we'd spend all day here, talking about useless stuff. Good luck on saving your friends!"

  "Goodbye, daddy!"

  Derpy then pushes the button, and the Sky Walker goes up to the sky, and then flies to its destination.

  Arriving in Spooktown, Derpy suddenly loses control of the ship, and tries to keep herself from squealing. Mares like Derpy don't squeal. Mares like Derpy just find the problem, and if there's no solution to it, they wait for it to end.

  The Sky Walker then comes to a halt and crash-lands on the graveyard, tearing down the floor around the area, and consequently landing on the dungeon below it.

  "All hope is back!", yells Spike.

No Uranus Jokes, Please

  "Man, oh man, did that ever scare me!", says Derpy, coming out of the rubble.

  "We're saved!". yells Spike. "We're SAVED!"

  "Fluttershy was right!", says Trixie, impressed by Fluttershy's mental skills.

  "You don't have to explain a thing.", says Derpy, recovering her senses and shaking Twilight's hoof. "I'm Derpy Hooves. I came here because Fluttershy called me."

  Fluttershy looks a bit nervous.

  "I'm not really strong...", says Derpy. "... I've got a mental problem, and I tend to be a little reckless. This is just the way I am."

  "Not a problem, Derpy.", says Twilight. "Say, we got a real problem here. There's a locked door right there, and we were hoping you could open it for us."

  "Well, I don't have any door-unlocking powers... wait a minute!" Derpy searches in her saddlebag and puts up her Bad Key Machine.

  "What is it?", asks Spike.

  "I think it might be an antique.", says Trixie.

  "It looks more like a dirty rack.", says Fluttershy.

  "It looks like junk!", says Twilight.

  "It's a really useful gadget that Maxwell invented for me. I call it the Bad Key Machine.", says Derpy.

  "What does it do?", asks Fluttershy.

  "It opens doors... that's all."

  "That's actually really useful.", says Trixie. "I'm starting to run out of air."

  "And the walls are closing in!", says Spike.

  "Haha!", says Fluttershy. "You're so funny, Spike."

  "No, I really mean it. I'm getting a little claustrophobic."

  "So you have a new boyfriend?", says Twilight to Derpy, while the group heads out of the dungeon. Spike takes the deepest breath ever, with relief coming out of his lungs.

  "Yeah. We didn't actually date yet, but he can wait. We gotta save the world, and all."

  A shaggy-maned pony comes in, without any worry in his eyes.

  "Excuse me...", says Trixie. "... you're not a ghost, are you?"

  "Why would I be?", says the shaggy-maned pony.

  "Well, could you give us some information about... sanctuaries? That is, if you actually know anything about them."

  "Nope. Not a clue. I'm too busy making fly honey for Master Belch."

  "And who may that Master Belch be?", asks Spike.

  "He's the leader of the town spooks. I'm working for him now, since there's no way he's gonna lose the fight. I'm storing the fly honey in that tent over there."

  "You mean that scary-looking tent over there?", asks Fluttershy. "That creepy, dark-colored, ghostly-looking tent?"

  "Yep."

  "Could we get some of that fly honey?", asks Spike.

  "Sure. You gotta get it from the tent, though. Good luck."

  Fluttershy was right. That's one hell of a scary tent. The group comes near it, and the tent reveals a really scary face.

  "PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!", yells Fluttershy, shrinking into a ball, still traumatized by that stupid ghost.

  "Relax, Fluttershy.", says Spike. "I got this covered. Hey, you!", says Spike to the tent.

  "Me?"

  "Yeah, you! Got any fly honey to spare?"

  "Fly honey? NO! NO FLY HONEY FOR YOU!", the tent then attacks the group.

  "Nice job.", says a sarcastic Fluttershy.

  "GAAOOOORRGG!!!"

  "Relax, everyone!", says Derpy. "Let me handle this."

  She picks up a bottle rocket from her saddlebag, and launches it at the tent, making a hole on its face, and deflating it, leaving behind a huge pot with fly honey in it.

  "Thank you, Derpy.", says Twilight. "But I could've just used a fire spell."

  "Sorry for bothering your strategy.", says Derpy, with a feeling of accomplishment.

  "This looks so delicious!", says Spike, taking the fly honey and putting it on his back.

  "Are you sure you can take it?", asks Twilight.

  "Relax. It's not that heavy.", says Spike, while admiring the wonderful smell coming from the honey jar.

  "Oh, boy.", says the shaggy-maned pony. "Looks like we're gonna lose the fight after all."

  "I think these ghosts are going to be big trouble later on.", says Twilight. "Do you know how to get rid of them?"

  Now that Twilight mentioned it, the group could see the huge chaos that was Spooktown. Zombies were chasing people up and down, ghosts were haunting houses everywhere, and everyone was heading to the circus tent.

  "This looks really awful.", says Fluttershy, knowing how they feel.

  "Well, I don't really know.", says the shaggy-maned pony.

  Suddenly, Photo-Finish falls down from the sky, with Angel Bunny on her back.

  "Zis scenario is perfect!", says Photo, while turning her camera on.

  "Angel!", says Fluttershy, taking Angel into the comfort of her chest. "Did you miss me?"

Not really..., thinks Angel. ... but it's nice to know you're alive.

  "Oh yeah. I forgot.", says Photo, after taking a picture of the chaotic town. "Twist has just invented something called the Zombie Paper. She asked me to deliver it to you."

  She then gives Twilight two hundred pieces of zombie paper.

  "It's supposed to work just like fly paper. It should get rid of all zombies in the area."

  "Thank you, Photo.", says Spike, while sneaking some fly honey out of the jar. Real tasty stuff.

  "I should be going now. Good luck on saving the world, Twilight." She then goes back up, along with Angel Bunny.

  "Maybe he's just not into this kind of adventure.", says Fluttershy,

  "Hey, guys.", says the shaggy-maned pony. "Why don't you use that paper on the circus tent over there? That way, we could trap the zombies and then burn the tent down."

  "That sounds really nice!", says Trixie. "Thank you, whoever you are!"

  "No problemo."

  At the circus tent, Derpy starts spreading paper all over the floor, along with Spike and Trixie.

  "What are you doing?", says a random pony from the crowd of two hundred fillies and gentlecolts.

  "This is zombie paper!", says Derpy. "We're going to trap the zombies here, and then burn this tent down!"

  "Oh. Go on then. As long as this solves our zombie problem, I don't see any reason to stop you."

  After some minutes...

  "There! Now, everyone go home!", says Trixie. "Don't worry, this will be the last night of their lives."

  "I hope we can trust you.", says the mayor of Spooktown.

  "We should sleep at a hotel.", says Twilight.

  At the hotel, Derpy and Twilight kept talking about school stuff, while Spike slept like a rock. Trixie decided to sleep beside Fluttershy, to comfort her if she happens to have nightmares about this rather traumatizing day.

  All the while, the zombies in Spooktown somehow felt like they needed to head for the circus tent. The result? A total mess.

  In the morning, the Spooktown ponies burned the tent down, and the group headed for the underground passage in the graveyard.

  "So, how was the night for you two?", asks Twilight to Fluttershy.

  "Oh, it was... nice.", says Fluttershy. "Had a few nightmares, though."

  "Good thing you woke up then."

  "I slept like a rock.", says Spike. "By the way, where's the fly honey? I sure could use some breakfast now."

  "It's right here. Don't eat too much, though. We'll need it for Master Belch."

  "Fine...", says Spike, slightly frustrated.

  "Halt!", says an unknown voice. "Do I smell fly honey?"

  "Yup.", says Spike. "This stuff is delicious!"

  "Gimme all your honey!", says the voice, revealing itself to be a tiny, yet stinky pile of vomit. Trixie turns green, and Fluttershy hides herself... again.

  "No! This is for Master Belch!", says Twilight.

  "Belch? Aw, dang it. He always gets the good stuff. Go ahead then."

  The Grapefruit Falls were just beautiful. Water falling from the rocks above, creating a wide, shiny lake. Fluttershy felt relaxed, since that place looked so much like her house. It was, indeed, a really pretty sight.

  "Haha!", says Derpy. "Did you see that? A talking pile of vomit! Now I've seen everything!"

  "Yeah, very funny.", says Trixie, sarcastically.

  "Hey!", says a gray-colored Pinkie Pie, coming out of the lake, with straight mane.

  "Eek!", squeals Fluttershy.

  "Who are you?", asks Twilight.

  "I'm Pinkie Pie, pleased to meet ya. Where are you heading for?"

  "Have you seen Master Belch's base around here?", asks Spike.

  "Oh, yes I have. It's behind the waterfall. But... I don't think I know the password."

  "Password?", says Derpy. "Why does everything have a password nowadays?"

  "*sigh* Come with me, I know someone who can help you."

  At the Pinkie Valley, the group notices that everyone looks as depressed and straight-maned as Pinkie Pie. That made no sense, since Twilight has read that the Pinkie Valley was supposed to be the happiest place in Equestria. Where were all the parties and group hugs? There was depression in the air.

  "What are you doing, walking around like that?", asks Pinkie Pie. "Follow me, dimwits."

  Arriving at their destination, Pinkie Pie whispers to a pony, looking as depressed as her. He then comes up to the group.

  "You guys wanna know the password to hell?", says the depressed pony. "Here goes. The Belch dude says: 'say the password'. You just stand there for three minutes."

  "That's it?", says Fluttershy. "Sounds real easy to me!"

  Pinkie admires all the happiness contained in Fluttershy's voice. She wishes she could crack out a smile like she did two months ago. Ever since that fat, gray-coated unicorn showed up, life has been a living hell.

  "Can I come with you?", asks her, after that slight bit of reflexion. "You look so happy together."

  "Yeah, but we ain't turtles.", says Spike.

  "See? You're happy enough to make the dumbest jokes, and still laugh at them. So, can I come with you?"

  "Of course you can.", says Fluttershy, trying to comfort the depressed earth pony.

  "Say the password.", says a pile of vomit at the factory's door.

  The group stands there for a while, and the pile of vomit goes off to grab something to eat.

  "Do you think this is going to work out?", asks Trixie.

  "Let's just talk to each other while time passes.", suggests Fluttershy.

  "So, Pinkie...", says Twilight. "... what's happened to you and the rest of the Pinkie Valley? You're such a happy pony..."

  "I don't want to talk about it. That stupid fatty...", says Pinkie.

  "Fatty? You mean, Snips?"

  "Is that his name? I don't care. He's still a big meanie."

  "That stupid little... UGH! Now he's gone too far!"

  "You may enter.", says the pile of vomit, with a spoonful of fly honey in his hand.

  "*burp* So you are Twilight Sparkle?", says Master Belch, on his filthy throne. "I see... gyork gyork gyork!"

  "Are you the one who's causing all that trouble in Spooktown?", asks Twilight.

  "Yep, that's me. I needed some place to dump those guys on."

  "That is incorrect, Master Belch.", says Fluttershy.

  "Hyuk! You make me laugh so hard... there's a prophecy that a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle will defeat Discord. If Master Discord is scared of someone, it would have to be worse than the greatest evil... hahaha! *burp* Hey, wait a second... DO I SMELL FLY HONEY? THIS IS MY LUCKY DAY!"

  Master Belch dives on the honey jar, gulping it down.

  "Hey! That's my food!", says Spike.

  "There's nothing I can do now."

  "You... you... you BARNACLE! Get ready for the worst fight of your life!"

  So Master Belch grabbed Spike's leg, and Spike grabbed Belch's esophagus, and Belch bit off his ear, and Spike chewed off his eyebrows, and Belch took out his appendix, and Spike gave him a colonic irrigation, yes indeed, you better believe it. To cut a long story short, Spike won the fight with a flame burp.

  "Looks like it was an even fight... *burp* but Master Discord has managed to get the Luna Moona statue into Manehattan. The city will soon be in worse condition than living in your own puke! Hahahaha!"

  And then he fainted.

  "You... defeated Master Belch.", says a slimy little pile. "Oh, greatest leader, what shall we do to honor you?"

  "Hmm...", wonders Spike. "... do you know about any sanctuaries nearby?"

  "Great timing, Spike!", whispers Twilight.

  "Why, yes! Across this door is the Milky Well. I don't know what you're planning to do, but go ahead."

  "I sure could use a drink right now.", says Pinkie, drinking from the well. "This milk is delicious!"

  "Hey, Pinkie, you turned pink again!", says Trixie.

  "I did? Yay!"

  "Looks like the sanctuaries' power is bigger than I thought.", says Twilight. "Hey! It's that song again!"

  The song plays again, and now Twilight can memorize a few more notes from it. She catches herself humming to it, so the other ponies will listen.

  Back on the Pinkie Valley, everyone is happier than ever again. Not only that, but Twilight finds Princess Celestia in the ceremonial area.

  "Princess Celestia?!", says Twilight.

  "Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. How are you doing with all this worldsaving stuff in your life?"

  "It's turning out to be pretty good."

  "And I see that you've got lots of new friends as well. I'd like to talk to you for a moment, if you've got the time."

  "Sure! I'm all ears!"

  "You've traveled very far from home. Do you remember how your long and winding journey began with someone pounding at your door? It was Snips, the worst pony in your neighborhood, who knocked on the door that fateful night.

  On your way, you have walked, thought and fought. Yet through all this, you have never lost your courage. You have grown steadily stronger, and has experienced the pain of battle quite a few times. You are no longer alone in your journey. The Great and Powerful Trixie is a very powerful magician, Fluttershy is the kindest pony you will ever meet. Spike is quite the joker, and also has great power. Derpy Hooves is one of the most special ponies in Equestria as well... and now Pinkie Pie spreads happiness all over the group. Twilight, as you certainly know by now, you are not a regular young mare... you have an awesome destiny to fulfill.

  The journey from this point will be long, and it will be more difficult than anything you have undergone to this point. Yet, I know you will be all right. When good battles evil, which side do you believe wins? Do you have faith that good is triumphant?

  One thing you must never lose is courage. If you believe in the goal you are striving for, you will be courageous. There are many difficult times ahead, but you must keep your sense of humor, work through the tough situations and enjoy yourself.

  Now you must pass through a vast desert and proceed to the big city of Manehattan.

  Twilight, Trixie, Fluttershy, Spike, Derpy and Pinkie... I wish you luck."

  "I didn't quite expect such a long speech... but thank you anyway. I won't let you down."

  "Twilight, the whole Equestria depends on you. I know you can handle it!"

  And then, the group went back to Spooktown, singing hiking songs and laughing all the way through, spreading happiness all over the place.

The Show Must Go On

WARNING: From this point on, all my stories will be written in the past tense. Reason?... nothing much.

  The group of worldsavers arrived back in Spooktown, after saying goodbye to Princess Celestia and the ponies at the Pinkie Valley. They instantly noticed that the ghosts looked much more friendly than before, and the townsfolk were actually interacting and talking to them. Everything was doing just fine.

  "Looks like we did a pretty good job.", commented Twilight.

  "They look much cuter as well!", said Fluttershy, playing with a tiny little spirit.

  "Yep.", said that shaggy-maned pony. "Thanks to you guys, our town is peaceful again."

  "Thanks to me, of course.", joked Derpy.

  "Hey, Twilight.", said Pinkie Pie. "Are you going to see DJ PON-3's show at the Topolla Theater in Manehattan?"

  "Now that you reminded me about it, yes I am.", responded Twilight.

  "We're gonna see that crap again?", sighed Spike.

  "Please don't offend Vinyl like that.", said Fluttershy.

  "Whatever."

  "Hey, I can take you to Manehattan.", said the shaggy-maned pony. "I'm the bus driver."

  "Oh, really?", said Trixie. "Thank you very much!

  "National heroes don't pay. No need to thank me."

  And then, the group went to the big city. Fluttershy waved goodbye at the ghost folk. She had already made friends with a lot of them. Eventually, though, the bus stopped dead at a huge traffic jam.

  "Oh, boy.", sighed the shaggy-maned bus driver. "Looks like this is going to last a while."

  "Well, that's something to be expected.", said Twilight. "Manehattan gets way too much tourists at this time of the year."

  "All this honking around doesn't make it any easier!", complained Spike, plugging his ears.

  "Tell you what...", said the bus driver. "... I think you guys will get there faster if you just walk. This is just unbearable."

  "Well, look at the bright side!", said Pinkie Pie. "All this walking around is good for your leg muscles! And we can sing hiking songs, and talk about worldsaving and--"

  "Please don't finish. The more you keep talking about it, the more I want to just get out of this junk and go with you. And I can't leave the bus, for I'm the freaking driver."

  "Oh, okay... dang it, why does this always happen? Now we gotta walk all the way through, under the hot sun. Ugh! I hate walking around desertic areas. The wind keeps blowing sand into your eyes, it just sucks."

  "That's better."

  "Well, we won't get anywhere if we just keep complaining.", said Trixie. "Let's go to Manehattan by our hooves."

  And then, the group left the bus, while Spike just let out a huge sigh, tired of all the car honking on the road. The rest of the group was just as annoyed, but at least they could tolerate it a little better.

  While they sang hiking songs, they spotted a digging team working on what looked like a mine. Braeburn was leading the whole team, and his cousin Applejack was helping him out to get the job done faster. Having an interest for digging, Derpy Hooves led the group on the way to see what was going on.

  "This hole's great!", cheered Braeburn. "Good hole, good hole..."

  "Excuse me...", said Derpy to Braeburn. "... what are you guys working on here?"

  "Oh, hi there.", said Braeburn. "The name's Braeburn. You are... ?"

  "My name is Derpy Hooves, but you can just call me Derpy Hooves." She cracked out an innocent smile.

  "Wha-- you mean... Derpy Hooves, Dr. Peanut's proud daughter? Boy, am I pleased to meet ya!"

  "So you guys know me? That's great to know!"

  "To answer your question: someone asked me to find buried gold. This is a gold mine right here."

  "Did you say gold?", said Spike, salivating excessively. For dragons, gold is like freaking chocolate.

  "Haha, that's right, li'l boy. Lots and lots o' gold under this desert's grounds... man, am I starving. Do you have something to eat?"

  "Well, I got some leftover cookies in my saddlebag.", said Derpy.

  "Anything'll do just fine."

  "Okay then... you can have my not very tasty, slightly unclean, hoofmade cookies."

  "As long as they're edible."

  "Hey, Derpy!", said Pinkie Pie. "Look what I found!"

  Pinkie held a contact lens on her hoof.

  "Um... it's so shiny.", responded Derpy.

  "Can I keep it? Please?"

  "Sure thing. Try not to mess it up, though."

  "I'll take care of it like it was my very own child."

  "What if Pinkie's child is just as wacky as her mother?", joked Fluttershy to Twilight, who giggled and thought about the idea for a small while.

  "I wonder if she'll even have children.", Spike tried to joke along.

  "That wasn't funny, Spike.", said Fluttershy, suddenly becoming extremely serious. She just couldn't stand that kind of humor. "Stick with your musical jokes, please."

  "Alright, alright, I'll stop."

  "Guys!", said Trixie. "If we're gonna chat about useless things, can we do it while actually going somewhere?"

  "Trixie's right.", said Twilight. "We were supposed to be in Manehattan now."

  "See ya, Braeburn!", said Derpy.

  "See ya!", said Braeburn. "If I find the gold, I'll give it to you!"

  "That's really nice of you!"

  When the group arrived in Manehattan, all they could see was huge buildings, fancy structures and classy-looking ponies. It was quite a sight. They also noticed that the traffic jam was over, since the bus driver could be seen waving at them triumphantly.

  "Isn't it awesome, Twilight?", said Pinkie Pie. "We're in the same city as DJ PON-3! I feel so honored!"

  "Yes, it's quite an honor.", answered Twilight. "Just wait until we see her on stage..."

  "Gasp! It's almost starting!", said Fluttershy, while looking at the huge clocktower in the middle of the city.

  "We should hurry to the theater then!", said Pinkie. "I know where it is. Follow me!"

  "I'd rather not...", sighed Spike.

  "Tickets, please.", said the theater receptionist. "Wait... are you Twilight Sparkle?"

  "That's me.", said Twilight.

  "Vinyl asked me to let you in for free. Are those your friends?"

  "Yes they are."

  "Alright then. Enjoy the show."

  Twilight wished she could enjoy the show. All the way through, she noticed that Vinyl looked much more sad than usual, and that affected her music a lot. It didn't even sound like Vinyl. It sounded like some effortless talent show act, or something. It lacked soul. Vinyl didn't even bother doing the 8-Track Frenzy, the best part of her show. Instead, she just finished the last song normally, and let out a shallow "thank you" before leaving the stage.

  "I wonder what happened...", said Fluttershy, sharing the same worriful feelings as Twilight and Pinkie.

  "Maybe she realized how much she sucks.", said Spike, bored to the bone.

  "Well, I'm sorry to say it, but the show kinda sucked a little.", agreed Pinkie Pie. "Maybe she just had a bad day."

  "I think I'm going to see her backstage.", said Twilight. "Maybe she's having money problems again."

  "Yeah, all that stuff looks really expensive.", agreed Trixie.

  "You guys wait right here."

  Vinyl was in the dressing room, thinking about how bad tonight's show was. She, herself, convinced the band to not do anything different from the script, like they always do, for that is why her fans love her in the first place. Her debt with the manager was so huge that it was practically impossible for her to get that much money on her hooves. As she began to cry from distress, she heard a cutesy knock on the door, and consequently regained all the hope that was being dumped in her tears. She knew exactly who it was.

  "Come in.", said Vinyl.

  "Hey there, Vinyl.", said Twilight. "How ya doin'?"

  "Right now? I've never been happier! Just having you here is enough to cheer me up."

  "Good to see that. Did anything happen to you before the show? I mean, you're usually so full of energy and happiness."

  "Yeah... the manager cheated me again, that fucking bitch. Now I've got the debt blues again."

  "Aww, really? How much?"

  "One million."

  "... she's a bitch alright. But hey! I have a great idea!"

  "What is it?"

  "While I was walking to Manehattan, I spotted a gold mine. They must've found some gold at this point. The team leader said that he would share it with us."

  "... come here, you!", said Vinyl, giving Twilight a big hug. That was the second time that Twilight had saved her life, and that was the best way to thank her at the moment. "I love you so much, Twilight! I'll do a free show tomorrow, and I promise you, it's going to be the best show you have ever seen!"

  "Aww, you're welcome...", Twilight blushed.

  "At what time? Is 7 p.m. okay?"

  "Sure. Now, I gotta go. Sorry about the inconvenience."

  "What inconvenience? You just got me out of some serious trouble! Thanks an awful lot!"

  "Not a big deal."

  "Is she okay?", asked Fluttershy, as Twilight came back to the theater door.

  "Yes, she is.", answered Twilight. "And I've got a plan to end her debt blues again."

  "Money problems again?", said Trixie. "Can't she just settle down and buy what she can afford?"

  "It's not her fault, Trixie. Anyway, we gotta go back to the gold mine, back at the desert."

  "What does that have to do with-- ooh, I get it..."

  "We're gonna waste our fortune on her again?!", protested Spike.

  "She is my friend, Spike.", said Twilight. "She needs my help, and I will not let her down."

  "*sigh* Fine..."

  As they walked back to the desert, the sky started to get really dark. Eventually, it was night, and Luna's moon shone over the whole scenery, creating a beautiful sight for the whole group.

  "Twilight...", said Derpy. "... it's getting kind of late. Where are we going to sleep?"

  "I'll think about it later.", said Twilight, while the group arrived at the digging site. Braeburn and Applejack were the only ones in sight.

  "Oh, hello there, guys.", greeted Braeburn. "What brings you here?"

  "Hey, Braeburn.", said Twilight. "We're just wondering if you've found any gold yet."

  "Well, the mine is still unexplored. We just uncovered it, and the team is way too tired to continue. We'll get to work tomorrow. Right now, me and Applejack are picking our stuff up so we can finally go relax on our beds."

  "Can we sleep with you guys?", asked Derpy. "We don't have anywhere to go."

  "Well... I suppose you can. We only have two extra beds, though. You okay with that?"

  "No.", said Spike, knowing that his opinion wouldn't matter.

  "We're perfectly okay with it.", said Twilight. "Right, girls?"

  "Yeah... I guess.", said Fluttershy.

  "Follow us then. We'll just pick up our stuff, and then we're leaving."

  The group arrived at the digging team's resthouse. It looked really primitive, but at least it felt comfortable enough. Better than the big city, if you ask me. The "extra beds" mentioned by Braeburn were actually kind of small for three ponies to sleep on. Ah well... either that, or sleep on the floor with Spike. But, in the end, one bed had Twilight and Trixie, and the other bed had Pinkie and Derpy, since Fluttershy wanted to keep Spike warm, and decided to sleep beside him.

  At nearly eleven in the morning, after the whole digging team had woken up five hours ago, Braeburn woke the worldsavers up, acting really scared and desperate.

  "Wake up!", yelled Braeburn. "Wake up, everyone! This is serious!"

  "What is it?", said Pinkie Pie, awake for quite some time now. "I'll tell the others when they wake up."

  "No, we can't wait! There's monsters on the cave!"

  "Monsters?!", said Derpy, eventually waking everyone else up as well. "What kind of monsters?"

  "Scary and huge. Are you in a hurry? 'Cause this is going to take a while."

  "We still have eight hours left until the show starts. Just taking care of some monsters shouldn't take more than two."

  "It's good that you have confidence in yourself. You'll need it."

  "With Twilight's crazy magic skills, we'll only need thirty minutes.", said Spike.

  "Twenty.", said Braeburn.

  "Ten."

  "Five minutes!"

  "For Celestia's sake, guys!", said Twilight. "While we do have the time for discussion, it would be better to take those monsters out as soon as possible, so the team can find the gold faster. Right, Braeburn?"

  "Right. So get going then! We'll be waiting for you!"

  "Umm... can I, like, stay here and wait with you?", asked Fluttershy.

  "Sorry, Fluttershy...", said Spike. "... but we'll need all the help we can get on kicking those monsters' butts."

  "But I'm not good at kicking butts... maybe I can cheer for you?"

  "Okay. But you'll have to come along anyway."

  "D'oh!", exclaimed Fluttershy.

  "So... who's going to join me, Spike the Fire-Breathing Dragon, in kicking those monsters' butts?"

  "Sounds fun!", said Pinkie Pie.

  "I'm in.", said Derpy.

  "I guess we're in too...", said Twilight. "... we can be your healers, or something."

  "Pfft! Healers are pussies.", said Trixie. "We can be your powerful wizards, defeating monsters with the power of magic!"

  "The Butt-Kickers of Equestria are now heading for their first mission!", said Spike, in a heroic tone.

  "... yay!", cheered Fluttershy.

  In the gold mine, the group was blinded by the darkness for a few seconds. Eventually, they could see well enough to spot a confusing group of walls and corridors. They all knew what that could mean...

  "Not again!", said Derpy. "Why does everyone love mazes, and I don't?"

  "Shouldn't be too hard.", said Twilight. "We just gotta find the monsters, beat 'em up, and then find the way out."

  "It's that last part that scares me..."

  "I can feel its presence!", said Spike, the monster hunter. "I feel something disgusting in the air!"

  "Maybe it's that horrible smell.", said Trixie. "Monsters stink."

  "Umm...", said Fluttershy. "... in that case, I'll just wait for you here... if that's okay."

  "You could at least watch.", said Spike. "So you can learn how to kick butts professionally."

  "Okay... go get him!"

  They kept on following the horrible smell of monster flesh, with Spike, Pinkie and Derpy leading the way. As the smell of carcace began to grow worse, they found the monster lying around, eating something that looked like horse meat.

  "Hey you!", said Spike, with a faux-Southern accent. "What do you think you're doing?"

  The monster turned around. He was big, scary-eyed, and looked like a mole. He had fresh blood all over his lips.

  "Can't you see I'm busy eating?", said the mole.

  "I demand you to leave this cave immediately, if you don't want us to kick your butt professionally."

  "What are you talking about? The only reason that I'm here is that my cousins are looking for some ponies to kill. I don't approve of that attitude of theirs, so I decided to stay here instead. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want to eat my food."

  "Could you eat your food in some other place then?", asked Twilight. "You're scaring away the digging team."

  "I am?... I'm not that scary. Do I look scary to you?", said the mole, while blood dripped from his sharp fangs, and his scary eyes stared deep into Twilight's soul.

  "No, no... absolutely not!", said Twilight, trying not to offend him and end up becoming monster food. "But the digging team doesn't like being disturbed by monsters. It's not very convenient, you see?"

  "It's okay, I understand. I'll just go away then-- oh my gosh, you are the cutest thing I have ever seen!", said the mole, spotting Fluttershy hiding behind a rock. He picked her up and started hugging her. Fluttershy was so scared she couldn't even scream. "Aren't you the cutest thing ever? Just look at those priceless doll eyes!"

  All Fluttershy could see was a hideous-looking, scary-eyed, blood-drinking beast. She had never seen something so traumatizing since that time when she sneaked in on an adult theater and spotted a murder scene on a movie. She then fainted, from all the pressure thrown at her at once.

  "Aww, she fell asleep...", said the mole. "... can I take care of her while you go kick my cousins' butts?"

  "How do we know that you're not going to mutilate her and devour her flesh while we're away?", said Spike.

  "Oh yeah, I forgot about that part... take her along then."

  Spike then dragged Fluttershy across the floor, still in her traumatized state.

  "I smell monster flesh again!", said Spike.

  "We all do, Spike.", said Trixie.

  "Halt!", said another mole, exactly like the first one. "Who dares pass by me without dying?!"

  "Oh boy.", said Twilight, rolling her eyes.

  "No one will die here, if you just move to someplace else!", said Pinkie Pie.

  "Yeah, what she said.", said Derpy.

  "I laugh at you with pleasure! Ha ha ha ha!", said the mole. "I will not move until somebody here dies! For am I the third strongest mole in this cave!"

  "How many are there?", asked Trixie.

  "We are five in total. But I only count four, since one of us is the biggest wimp, so he doesn't join our hunting session."

  "Well, I don't care if you're the third or second, or first strongest mole!", said Spike. "We can kick your butt just fine!"

  "We'll see about that."

  "Bring it on!"

  The worldsaving ponies were horrified by what they were seeing. Spike was doing his best, but the mole proved to be scarier, which lowered Spike's offense down a little bit. Fortunately, Spike was agile enough to dodge the mole's attacks, while managing to kick his butt in the meantime. Fluttershy had woken up, and was cheering for Spike, excitedly ("punch him in the face!"). Eventually, the mole got dizzy, and fell down, face planted on the floor.

  "Way to go, Spike!", cheered Fluttershy.

  "Yeah, that was really intense!", said Pinkie Pie.

  "I don't think I can take another one...", panted Spike.

  "Don't worry, Spike.", said Twilight. "We'll take care of the rest."

  "Yeah, no need to worry.", said Trixie.

  And so, the group went on, defeating the other three moles with magic spells, Pinkie's moves and Derpy's tricks, until there was not a single one left. However, they found a big problem ahead of them: how would they get back outside?

  "We're doomed!", exclaimed Derpy. "DOOMED!"

  "I should've used bread crumbs on the way...", said Pinkie Pie.

  "No need to worry.", said Fluttershy. "I know someone that can get us out of here."

  Fluttershy then made a strange sound, and a tiny mouse came in seconds later.

  "This is Mr. Mousey.", said Fluttershy. "He and his cousins have been all over Equestria, and they know the way to every place in this land."

  Mr. Mousey nodded proudly.

  "Can he get us out of here?", asked Derpy. "I'm starting to get claustrophobic again."

  "Can you, Mr. Mousey?", asked Fluttershy.

  Mr. Mousey got his nose up in the air and made a gesture for the group to follow him. He knew he was awesome, and that Fluttershy loved him more than that pet rabbit of hers. At least he isn't an asshole.

  "Thank you, Mr. Mousey.", said Fluttershy, kissing him on the cheek, which made him blush a little.

  "So, how did it go down there?", asked Braeburn. "Are they gone?"

  "Not all of them.", said Spike, as the only civilized mole walked out of the cave, making Braeburn petrify in fear, while the rest of team ran away, screaming like little fillies. Fluttershy hid behind Spike, holding Mr. Mousey in her hooves.

  "Oy there, mate!", said the mole to Braeburn. "How ya doin'?"

  "Please don't drink my blood.", said Braeburn, sweating in extreme fear.

  "Drink your blood? Ahahaha! You're quite the joker, sir. I'm perfectly inoffensive. This blood on my mouth is ketchup. Pork ribs sure go well with ketchup. You should try it sometime."

  "So you're not gonna kill us?", said Fluttershy, trying to befriend the huge monster.

  "Why would I kill you? I would never kill such an adorable species! Just look at you, you're so cute I want to hug every single one of you!"

  "Please don't...", said Spike.

  "Oh, about you, dragon dude... thanks for teaching my cousins a lesson. You sure kicked their butts!"

  "Hehehe... yes I did." Pinkie and Derpy looked down on him, with a sarcastic smile. "Ahem... we did."

  The mole started to walk on his own path, determined to find a job.

  "I'll start searching for the gold. How much time do we have, according to your schedule?"

  "Oh, we still have plenty of time left.", said Twilight. "No need to hurry up... although I'd like to have it as soon as possible."

  "Okay, we'll see if we can find it. How much do you want?"

  "A million bits."

  "No problem. Gold is worth a lot, down at Manehattan, since all the gold in this desert actually belongs to our countryside city, southwest of here. We don't want to do any business with those rich bastards, so they can spend everything in diamond-studded swimming pools and solid-gold Humvees. But since we're generous enough to give them a chance, we won't actually stop you from taking a small percentage of our gold to the big city. You should thank us for that."

  "... alright, cousin.", said Applejack. "What did ah tell you 'bout stereotypin'? Not all of 'em are bastards."

  "I don't care. The ones that are actually good-natured don't even have a chance against those so-called leaders. Just ask Monotoli. He's the only politician that is actually honest with his people. And yet, bigger leaders force him to join the greedy side."

  "Okay, ah agree wit' your opinion, Braeburn. But ah don't think this is the time to talk about the government. No one asked anything about the subject. Sorry to embarrass you guys."

  "No problem.", said Twilight. "And I'd really appreciate it if you could find some gold already... a friend of mine is, like, really needing it right now, and I don't want to let her down."

  "Oh yeah. Sorry 'bout that. I got myself into rambling about useless stuff again."

  "We're going to Manehattan, so we can buy ourselves something to eat. We'll be back in one hour."

  As the group went to the big city, they spotted Applejack running after them, with her saddlebag containing something significantly-sized. She looked like she had something really nice with her.

  "Hey you!", yelled Applejack. "Ah have somethin' real nice to show you!"

  "What is it?", asked Spike, sensing a really delicious smell.

  Applejack opened up her saddlebag, and took out a big, shiny (and tasty-looking) diamond. Spike fainted from the heavenly sight of crunchy crystals, and ice-cold smell.

  "Ah think it's worth way more than a million bits!", said Applejack.

  "Thank you very much!", said Twilight. "... and you are... ?"

  "Ah'm Applejack. Pleased to meet all of ya."

  "Hello, Applejack. I didn't know you guys could find gold so fast..."

  "Well, ah'll confess: when I was searching for gold along with some other guys, I found this shiny ol' diam'nd and hid it in the bag, as a gift for you, for helping us with the mole problem."

  "That's very nice of your part. Thank you very much. Vinyl is saved again."

  "You're friends with Vinyl? That's such an honor, ain't it?... well, I gotta go. Y'know, help the team out on finding some loot."

  "Tell them that we don't need the gold anymore."

  "I will!", said Applejack, as she ran back to the digging site.

  "That's so very nice of her.", said Derpy.

  "That diamond sure looks perfect...", said Spike, trying not to drown in his own saliva. "Care sharing a piece?"

  "*sigh* Okay, Spike.", said Twilight, breaking up a sizeable diamond piece. "I think we have more than enough here, anyway."

  "This is why you're my very best friend, Twilight!", said Spike, while biting off a small chunk of his treat, trying to make it last for a while.

  "Twilight...", said Fluttershy. "... after we have breakfast, could we go find Vinyl?"

  "That's exactly what we're going to do.", said Twilight. "She's so happy with what I'm doing to help her, she might even want to kiss me or something!"

  "Ha ha! Wouldn't that be awesome, if she actually did that? It must be worth a million autographs!"

  "Yeah, it would. Anyway, what do you want to eat?", said Twilight. Fluttershy suddenly realized that they were in a bakery, sitting around a table, with an impatient waiter beside them.

  "Oh... I'd like a piece of carrot cake. That's all."

  Arriving at the Topolla Theater, they still had one hour before the show would start. Twilight took the diamond and put it in her saddlebag, going to take a look backstage, where Vinyl was trying out her costumes, just for fun. She knocked on the door, with her trademark cutesy beat.

  "Come in.", said Vinyl.

  "How ya doing?", asked Twilight.

  "I've never been better. You just made my life worth living, Twilight. I don't even know how to thank you enough."

  "You don't have to, don't worry about it. Is the show going okay too?"

  "This will be the best night of our lives. Trust me on this one. Now, how did you find that much money?"

  "Check this thing out.", said Twilight, taking the diamond from her saddlebag.

  "Holy shit! Is that a real diamond?!"

  "Sure is... as far as I know. Looks real to me."

  "Just think of what the manager will say when she sees it! She'll literally faint from all the money this is worth! You're gonna be, like, 'yeah whateva', and then she'll hug it and kiss it and treat it like it's her own child, like 'I love you Mr. Shiny!'... oh man, I can't wait to get out of this dump."

  "Hahaha, yeah... I can't wait to see your show as well."

  "Speaking of which, I'm supposed to be on stage now. See you in thirty minutes!", said Vinyl, kissing Twilight on the cheek.

  "See ya.", said Twilight, blushing slightly.

  The show was, indeed, the most epic thing Twilight had ever witnessed. Hit singles, fan favorites, covers, and a 20-song medley, everything was played with the largest amount of energy possible. How about the 8-Track Frenzy? It was epicness in its own original form. Musically-cultured fans managed to cry from the unbearable amount of awesomeness contained in one single concert-only song. Even Spike managed to enjoy the show, and that's saying something. Overall, it was pretty amazing.

  At the theater door, Vinyl called Twilight for the manager room. The manager herself didn't look very pleased, but then again, she never looked pleased with anything.

  "Excuse me, ma'am.", said Vinyl. "I was wondering if you could cancel my debt and let me get out of here."

  "Why would I do that?", said the manager, cold as ice. "You still owe me a million bits, you know."

  "Well, I'd like to give you something."

  Twilight comes in and puts the diamond on the balcony, to the manager's surprise. Her attraction to shinies was so big it put Roahm Mythril to shame.

  "Shiny! Must have it! Please give it! I'll do anything!"

  "Could you set me free now?", asked Vinyl.

  "Yes! Anything!"

  "Okay. It's yours."

  The manager grabbed the diamond and started kissing it uncontrollably, like it were her own child.

  "You should thank me. This diamond is worth maybe... MAYBE... $50.", lied the manager. "So I gave you a bargain."

  "Yeah, whatever.", said Twilight.

  "Thanks for everything, Twilight.", said Vinyl, high-hoofing Twilight while the group was heading out of the theater. "I'll try not to get into this kind of trouble again."

  "I'd help you a thousand times if necessary, Vinyl.", said Twilight. "You're my favorite musician of all time. I'd do anything to help you."

  "Aww, thanks! That really means a lot to me!"

  "Hey, guys!", said Derpy. "Look over there!"

  She pointed to a big purple sign beside the Manehattan Department Store.

  "'Hardwares R Us'?", said Spike. "What's so funny about it?"

  "It's not funny. It's a promotional stunt! Every 27th customer gets a ball-pein hammer for free!"

  "No way!", exclaimed Pinkie Pie. "I've always wanted one of those!"

  "Can we go inside, Twilight? Please!"

  "I suppose we have time for that...", said Twilight. "... fine, let's go."

  "Yay!", exclaimed the whole group.

Poodle Hat

  "Why would you enjoy visiting a hardware store anyway?", asked Twilight.

  "Are you kidding?", said Trixie. "Just look at all this cool stuff! Allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods, water meters, walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires, BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans, dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvers, masking tape, plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables *deep breath*, hooks, tackle, grout, spackle, power foggers, spoons, ladles, pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication, metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats, bug deflectors, trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers (eww...), tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells, Energizers, soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers!"

  "Geez...", joked Pinkie Pie. "... I thought I was the one who got way too excited over this."

  "Alright, but let's try not to buy anything we don't need.", said Twilight.

  "Look here, Twilight!", said Spike. "How does this work?"

  "I've seen one of those before.", said Fluttershy. "It's an egg scrambler. There's a catch, though: it scrambles eggs while they're still inside their shells."

  "Neat! Can we buy it?"

  "Looks useful...", said Twilight. "... fine, we'll take two."

  After quite a long tool-checking session (including a singing session by Pinkie Pie), the group was about to head out of the store with two egg scramblers and a hacksaw (why do they call it a hacksaw anyway?), when the lights suddenly turned off.

  "Hey, who turned the lights off?", said Spike.

  "Nothing to worry about.", said Twilight. "We're already on our way out, anyway."

  "HELP!", screamed Fluttershy, getting kidnapped by a mysterious weird-looking creature.

  "Fluttershy got kidnapped!", said Trixie, trying to warn the others.

  "Where did she head to?", asked Twilight.

May I have your attention, please?, asked a voice through the loudspeaker. May I have your attention, please?

  "Oh, it's those funny voices again!", said Pinkie Pie. "Haha!"

  "I can hear it too.", said Derpy. "We share the same insanity!"

Will the chosen one please stand up?

  "Here we go again...", said Twilight.

I repeat: will the chosen one please stand up?

  "That's me."

Chosen one, please proceed to the office on the fourth floor. That was Twilight Sparkle, fourth floor office. Over.

  "Come with me, everyone. Let's save Fluttershy before the worst happens!"

  On their way to the second floor, Twilight noticed something strange: the record store had its lights on, and the records themselves had slightly odd covers. She could also hear some guitar playing in the distance. Nothing to worry about, though.

  "Hey Twilight, you hear that song?", asked Trixie. "I know I've heard it somewhere..."

  "Now that's some real music.", said Spike, relieved from not having to listen to anymore of Vinyl's songs.

  "Is it a ghost?", said Pinkie Pie. "I mean, everyone just ran away five minutes ago."

  "Well, at least we've got a soundtrack...", said Derpy. "Come on, Fluttershy is in danger!"

Twilight Sparkle, please hurry to the fourth floor office.

  On the third floor, the group found the source to all that guitar music: a ghost. Yeah, very original on your part, AG.

  "Oh, hello there, folks.", said the ghost. "You lost or something?"

  "No, we're fine.", said Twilight. "We're in a hurry, though."

  "What's the name of that song again?", asked Trixie.

  "Stairway, dude!", said the ghost.

  "I knew it! Such an amazing song, and I totally forgot about it."

  "One quick question...", said Twilight. "... do you know anything about the record store down there?"

  "Oh, that? It's possessed.", said the ghost. "Me and my bandmates use it as our own studio. Y'know, recording and stuff. And then we post our songs on YouTube. I'm all alone now, and I turned the lights on so I wouldn't feel left out or something."

  "Good to know it's nothing evil. Now, if you'll excuse us, we gotta go to the fourth floor office."

  "The office? Here's some advice: there will be fightin' there. Okay with that?"

  "I think I've seen that coming."

  "Great!", said Spike. "The Butt Kickers are back!"

  "I'm sorry to burst your bubble, Spike.", said Twilight. "But I think he wants to kill me. So, I'm the one who's going to fight him."

  "Aww, no teamwork this time?"

  "This is something I have to take care of, by myself."

Twilight Sparkle...

  "Alright, alright, I'm going."

  "Hey, Twilight!", called Derpy.

  "This better be quick."

  "It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!"

  Derpy gave Twilight a bottle rocket.

  "It's very powerful. I made it myself!"

  "I see... 'kay, I'm going now. No turning back."

  "I'm here.", said Twilight, entering the fourth floor office. "What do you want?"

  The mysterious weird-looking creature turned out to be the ugliest alien she has ever seen.

  "Gwaaagh! GWARRRGH!", said the alien.

  "Need water?"

  "No thanks, I'm fine."

  "Okay then."

  "So... you finally made it. This hardware store is gonna be your grave! GWAAARGH!"

  "Are you sure you don't need anything?"

  "I've been worse before."

  "It's not contagious, is it?"

  "Nope. But even if it was, soon you will be gone, and you'll be burning in... well... you'll go to Heaven!"

  "We'll see about that!"

  "GWAAAAARRRRGH!!!"

  "It's not even fun when you're coughing like that..."

  Being a magic user, Twilight couldn't stand much of the alien's attacks. Evil forces everywhere, making her dizzy and confused. Not to mention that ridiculous coughing getting on her nerves! Being confused, Twilight couldn't concentrate enough to use that super-awesome spell that she used to get out of fights really easily. Nope. No way out. Oh wait! There was a way out! Derpy's bottle rocket! Twilight gathered enough strength to pull out the cool weapon and fire it at the alien's face, causing him to fall down, coughing like he never coughed before.

  "GWAAARGH!", coughed the alien. "Even though you could beat me... Master Discord will avenge me..."

  "Yeah, whatever.", said Twilight. "Would you like a glass of water now?"

  "GWARGH! Fine. Not too warm, not too cold."

  "Here you go." Twilight gave him some tap water from the faucet.

  "*drinks water* Thank you. At this point, Fluttershy should be at Monotoli's place."

  "Did you hurt her in any way?"

  "I got annoyed by all that shrieking of hers, and I gently slapped her face, didn't even hurt. But then she started to cry, and I couldn't stand seeing her like that, so I promised her that I wouldn't do anything, and I'd teleport her to safety in Monotoli's place, and it's what I did before you came here... my heart was stronger than my loyalty in Master Discord... I'm such a shame."

  "To Discord, you might be, but I think you are awesome. Our fight was amazing as well. Thanks for that."

  "Well, now I see that you're a true heroine, Twilight Sparkle. Good luck to you and your friends on foiling my master's plans! I always hated him anyway... hey, is the loudspeaker still on?"

  "Yep.", said Spike, coming through the door.

  "Oh dear... goodbye, Twilight Sparkle! I'll just go back to my house in Zygnomia. Good luck!", said the alien, before teleporting back to his home in Zygnomia.

  "Play 'Free Bird'!", said Trixie to the guitar-wielding ghost.

  "Awww, no way, dude.", said the ghost. "Leave it for the rock gods."

  "Hey, girls.", said Twilight. "I've got some good and bad news."

  "What's the bad news?", asked Pinkie Pie.

  "Fluttershy is not here anymore."

  "DID SHE DIE?!"

  "No! She's, literally, not here anymore."

  "Oh, thank goodness!"

  "What's the good news, Twilight?", asked Trixie.

  "That's the good news.", said Twilight.

  "Wait a minute...", said Spike. "... you guys could clearly hear what they said in the loudspeaker."

  "Oh yeah...", said Derpy. "... we didn't actually pay attention to what they said. He was playing 'Pinball Wizard'!"

  "Well, she's at the Monotoli building now, and I suggest that we go and rescue her as soon as possible."

  "I don't know, babe.", said the ghost. "He's got security all around him. I don't think they'll let you pass that easily."

  "I'm sure we'll find a way. Now, girls, it's time to go. You too, Spike."

  "Bye, guitar ghost!", said Pinkie Pie. "Catch you later!"

  "See ya."

  Back outside, the group found out that it was almost nighttime, so the sun didn't blind them as heavily as it should. At the Monotoli building, they were amazed by how tall it was: forty-eight floors? It was more like a skyscraper. Stairs? No thanks. They used the elevator instead, like anypony else would.

  "This building has 48 floors in total...", said the elevator mare. "... but this elevator will only take you to the 47th floor... where are you heading for?"

  "47th.", said Twilight.

  "47th, got it... would you please quit staring at my haunches?"

  "I'm not staring at your haunches."

  "Yeah, sure."

  "That's weird...", said Twilight. "... I feel that there is a really annoying pony in that room over there, and I'm somehow tempted to find out who he is."

  "Well, maybe he has some nice information.", said Trixie.

  "We'll find out soon enough."

  Twilight knocked on the door.

Are you a spy?, asked a voice behind the door.

  "No."

  The door opened, to reveal some security guards and, to Twilight's despair: the most annoying little fucker she has ever met. That small, buck-toothed fatso with scissors for a cutie mark and the stupidest mane-do known to ponies all over Equestria.

  "SNIPS?!", yelled Twilight. "What the FUCK are you doing here?!"

  "Oh, it's that nuisance again...", said Snips. "... that's Mister Snips for you, Twilight."

  "No yelling, please.", said one of the security guards.

  "Fine!", said Twilight, in her sarcastically cute voice. "Let's try this again. Hey there, Mister Snips. May I ask you what the fuckity fickity fuck are you doing here?"

  "I feel kind of relieved that Fluttershy is not here.", whispered Pinkie Pie to Derpy, who nodded along with Trixie and Spike.

  "Isn't it obvious?", said Snips. "I am now Monotoli's number one assistant. Jealous much?"

  "Haha!", said Twilight. "Why would I be jealous of a bastard like you?"

  "Denial. The first step towards acceptance."

  "Where the hell is Fluttershy?"

  "Who? That pink-maned coward with wings? She's at the last floor, waiting for you."

  "Thank you, shithead."

  "I don't have any connections to the elevator guards, though."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Please!", said Twilight to the elevator guard. "You don't understand! There's someone up there that needs our help!"

  "I'm sorry, I'm just following orders.", said the elevator guard. "And the orders say: 'Don't let any purple-coated unicorns in the elevator to the 48th floor.'."

  "Who the fuck told you that?!"

  "Mister Snips, but they're Monotoli's orders. And Snips also told me to keep you as far as possible from him, so don't even try."

  Twilight twitched her eye, and remained extremely silent.

  "... come on, everyone.", said Twilight. "Let's get out of here."

  The group entered the other elevator, after seeing that there are no stairs leading to the 48th floor.

  "Ground floor.", said Twilight.

  "Got it...", said the elevator mare. "I'd appreciate it if you could stop staring at my haunches."

  "Oh yeah? What if I don't want to? What if I stay here for the rest of my fucking LIFE staring at your haunches, until I drop dead?"

  The mare just shut up, trying not to piss her off even more.

  "A pillow!", said Twilight. "Could someone lend me a pillow?"

  "Here, I found one.", said Trixie. "What are you gonna use it for?

  "JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN PILLOW!"

Twilight shoved her face into the pillow, and screamed as loud as she could, while crying from the extreme rage she was expressing at that moment.

  "Feel better now?", asked Trixie.

  "*sigh* Yes... God, I can't believe it! Why must he stand on my way, everytime I'm feeling good about myself? Now Fluttershy is going to be there forever! I failed her, miserably!"

  "Don't worry, Twilight.", said Spike. "Every little thing's gonna be alright."

  "Spike, I really appreciate that you're trying to help... but it's not helping at all."

  "How about we go drink something while we think of a good plan?", suggested Trixie.

  "Yeah.", said Pinkie Pie. "Let's give our heads some time to think."

  "I'm sure she'll be fine, Twilight.", said Derpy. "Monotoli's a good guy."

  "Yeah.", said Twilight. "Real nice of someone's part to accept a fuckwad like Snips as his number one assistant, and leave out orders to keep me from saving a member of the team. He's such a jolly good fellow, ain't he?"

  "Let's just go before they kick us out.", said Trixie, dragging Twilight across the floor.

  Twilight didn't feel relaxed at all, even after a few cups of her favorite drink. Fluttershy was in danger, and who knows what Monotoli was doing to her? She didn't want to think about it, as the thought of a disappointed Fluttershy invaded her brain.

  "What's all that noise outside?", said Pinkie Pie.

  "Should we go check it out?", asked Derpy.

  "Yeah, whatever.", said Twilight. "Do what you want. I give up."

  Outside, Derpy and Pinkie couldn't see a thing, because of all the other ponies that were blocking the way.

  "What's going on?", asked Pinkie.

  "Wait here.", said Derpy. "I'll fly over there, and I'll tell you what I saw."

  As Derpy flew through the crowd, she saw a cream-colored pony laying on the floor, looking dead. She was horrified, and hurried back to Pinkie, who was bouncing as high as she could, anxious to see what was going on.

  "It's horrible!", said Derpy. "There's a dead body over there!"

  "A dead body?!", said Pinkie. "Let's warn the others!" The duo blasted through the door, catching everyone's attention.

  "You gotta see this!", said Pinkie Pie. "It's just horrible!"

  "I guess I have no choice...", sighed Twilight.

  "Excuse me.", said Twilight, to a shaggy-maned pony in the crowd. No, it wasn't the bus driver.

  "You gonna take my spot?", asked the shaggy-maned pony.

  "That's what I had in mind... pretty please?"

  "If you give me somethin', I'll let you take my spot."

  "... okay, I'll see what I can give you." She then turned to Derpy. "You got anything?"

  "I got this fancy-looking protractor.", said Derpy.

  "A protractor?", said the shaggy-maned pony. "I love protractors! Gimme that!"

  "All yours."

  Twilight proceeded through the crowd, to find Caramel lying on the floor, looking dead.

  "Caramel?!", said Twilight.

  Caramel opened his eyes, coughing and wheezing. Good to know he wasn't dead.

  "*wheeze* Aren't you Twilight Sparkle?", said Caramel. "I can't see too well... everything's blurry. You are Twilight Sparkle, aren't you?"

  "Yes, Caramel, that's me. What happened to you?"

  "That Carpainter in Happy Happy Village was hiding something... *wheeze*... strange. I stole it, and thought about selling it in the big city. An old, city-wise stallion called it Luna Moona. It's a strange-colored statue of an alicorn."

  "I've seen it before. Geez, what does that statue do anyway?"

  "*wheeze* Well... Monotoli then tricked me and stole it... from me! He tricked a thief! He wanted me out of the way because I knew his secret... he gets his evil power from that statue!"

  "I thought he was a good guy..."

  "He was. But since I brought the statue here, he's been acting all greedy and evil."

  "So that's why he made Snips into his assistant! I knew he wasn't that crazy!"

  "Who's that?"

  "Forget it."

  "Look... before I go, I'll tell you something really important. At the cafe, check... behind... the counter... COUGH! Got that?"

  "Got it... what's so important about that?"

  "Trust me. If you want world peace back, do what I say. About Fluttershy... don't worry about her either. I know Monotoli pretty well, and even though he's evil, I know he wouldn't dare hurt anyone."

  "Well... I feel a bit better now. Thanks for that."

  "Before I go, here's my last Haiku poem:

When on your way out

be sure that you say goodbye

then lock the door tight.

  I'm on my way now. Don't follow me. So long."

  Caramel struggled a little to get up, and then went along the road. Where he was going, not even he knew. He just wanted to get out of there. Twilight returned to her friends, puzzled by what Caramel just said.

  "So he isn't dead?", said Derpy. "Thank goodness!"

  "What did he mean by 'check behind the counter'?", asked Spike.

  "That's what we're going to find out now.", said Twilight, running back inside.

  "Could I take a look behind the counter?", asked Twilight to the balconist.

  "Sure. Caramel told you to do it, didn't he?", said the balconist.

  "How'd you know?"

  "I know way too much stuff. I probably should just stick to drink-serving and money-cashing..."

  The group checked behind the counter, but there was nothing too amusing to see.

  "Are you sure it's not somewhere else?", asked Pinkie Pie. "I mean, this is not the only counter on the city. Maybe we're looking behind the wrong one."

  "That makes sense.", said Twilight. "But I get this weird feeling in my head, telling me that this is the right one. I just can't seem to find anything, but Caramel said that it was really important."

  "Madam...", said the balconist. "... I think you want to check that door over there."

  "Wha--? Oh, of course! The door behind the counter! I was just lacking information, that's all!"

  As Twilight opened the door, all the group could see was a bunch of boxes, but most importantly: the Luna Moona statue!

  "I can't believe it!", said Twilight. "It's the Luna Moona statue!"

  "I feel strange...", said Derpy. "... I think I'm going to drop down."

  "Weird...", said Trixie. "... I got the same feeling."

  "Haha!", said Pinkie Pie. "I feel so funny right now!"

  "I suddenly feel the urge to fall asleep...", said Spike.

  "Haha, yeah...", said Twilight. "... I feel sleepy too... think I'm gonna lay down for a while..."

  Everyone fainted, while the Luna Moona statue got even shinier than before.

  What could be the fate of Twilight and her friends? Are they going to wake up from naptime? Is Fluttershy going to be okay? Can this fanfic get any worse? And when is Rainbow Dash finally showing up? Find out in the ninth chapter of EquestriaBound!

  I regret nothing!

World-Class Loser

  "Wake up.", whispered Pinkie Pie to Twilight, who was still sleeping. "Hey... hey, wake up!"

  Twilight just moved to the side, and kept sleeping.

  "WAKE UP! This is Pinkie Pie, and I'm your wake up call! WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!"

  Twilight got up and found the Luna Moona statue beside her, shattered to pieces. She then kissed Pinkie Pie's cheek. She deserved it, after all.

  "Hee hee, you're welcome!", said Pinkie, blushing a little.

  "Is everyone awake?", asked Twilight.

  "Yep. Everyone's here.", said Spike.

  "Holy sock puppet in a sausage factory!", exclaimed Derpy. "Did you see that scary ol' fella?"

  "Please do not remind me of it.", said Twilight.

  "Well, you better prepare yourself, Twilight.", said Pinkie. "According to the logic of fiction, we are definitely going to see it again."

  "... what are you talking about?", asked Trixie.

  "Nothing... nothing.", said Pinkie. She knew too much.

  "I think we should go save Fluttershy now.", said Twilight.

  "How are we going to do that?", asked Spike. "Even though Monotoli isn't evil anymore, Snips is still there."

  "Well, if he's really a good guy, he's already fired him."

  "I don't know, Twilight...", said Trixie. "... Snips was smart enough to stop you from going to the last floor. Maybe he bribed the elevator guards."

  "... you're right. And I can't use my magic to blow them away. That would just be immoral. What are we going to do?"

  "How about we get out of this place first?", asked Derpy, feeling claustrophobic once again.

  As the group exited the café, it was almost nighttime. It looked like they had slept a little too much. At least everything made sense that time... except for Pinkie Pie and her twitchy tail, which caused her to go look for someplace to hide.

  "Pinkie, what are you doing?", asked Twilight.

  "My tail!", said Pinkie Pie. "It's getting all twitchy, and that means that something is going to fall from the sky at any moment!"

  "Pinkie, that doesn't make any sense at all.", said Trixie, before Photo-Finish fell down from the sky again, with Angel Bunny on her back.

  "Told ya!"

  "How does she even survive that fall?", asked Spike to himself.

  "I'm not here to take photos.", said Photo-Finish. "Angel has an important message."

  Angel took out a notebook and a pen, and started writing. He was in a hurry, since the moon was already out, and he needed his naptime. He then delivered it to Twilight, and asked her to read it.

Twist asked me to notify you that she has just come up with another invention. It's called the "Gourmet Yogurt Machine". It's supposed to make many different flavors of yogurt. But it can only make trout-flavored yogurt.

  "Sounds... nice.", said Twilight. "Where is it?"

Read the other stuff., "said" Angel with a gesture.

On my way to delivering it to you, I ended up forgetting it back at the desert. I'm not going back that way, so don't ask me to get that package. I mean... it's your package, right? So YOU go get it. Love, Angel.

  "... fuck you, Angel."

Hey, no need to get offensive., "said" Angel. He had a very special talent in communicating with hand gestures and facial expressions. I WOULD get it for you, if it weren't so late. Wait a minute... where the heck is Fluttershy?!

  "... I think he just realized that Fluttershy's not here.", whispered Trixie to Twilight's ear.

  "Oh, don't worry.", said Twilight. "Fluttershy's not here... but she's doing just fine, don't worry."

Look, I can't stand living with Twist anymore! She stays up all night, working on her stupid inventions, and I keep having these bags under my eyes! *cue Spongebob-style close-up*

  "That... looks pretty hideous. Why don't you just go live at Silver Spoon's place? Fluttershy won't be home for quite a while."

At least Twist gives me food. Silver Spoon is too busy trying to find a way to change boiled eggs back into raw eggs... I suppose I can stand a few more days.

  "Right, Angel Bunny.", said Photo-Finish. "I'm done taking photos. We must go home."

You were taking photos? Anyway, sorry for all the trouble I caused you. It's not my fault.

  "... it's not that bad.", said Twilight. "Do you, at least, know where you left it?"

Nope. Sorry. Gotta go. Photo-Finish then took off to Ponyville.

  "Great. Just great."

  "Can't be that bad.", said Trixie. At that moment, a monkey teleported out of nowhere. Random, I know, but hey.

  "Um... hello there?", said Twilight.

Hello! Hello hello hello!, "said" the monkey, through telepathy. I can't remember if we've met... Talah Rama just finished fasting, and wants to meet you at the west end of the Dusty Dunes Desert, in a cave with lots of monkeys.

  "Um... sure, we'll be there. Is that all?"

Yep. The monkey then teleported out of there.

  "Huh... a teleporting monkey.", said Spike. "Now I've seen everything."

  "Of course you haven't, silly.", said Pinkie Pie. "You're still a baby dragon, there are lots of things you haven't seen yet!"

  "I was just-- ugh, nevermind. I guess we should go to the desert then."

  "Did someone say the words 'trout' and 'yogurt' in the same sentence?", asked Monotoli's maid, who just came out of nowhere.

  "Um... yeah.", said Twilight. "Trout-flavored yogurt. Yeah, we said that."

  "I'm a maid who serves Mr. Monotoli, and I'm looking for trout-flavored yogurt to give to our special guest."

  "You mean Fluttershy?"

  "Oh, that's her name? She's so sweet and understanding... when Monotoli turned back to normal, he begged her for an apology, and she didn't even get mad, she just forgave him and went to sleep. I asked her what flavor of yogurt she liked the most, and she said 'trout flavor'. So, I'm here. Isn't she the sweetest?"

  "Yep. Definitely Fluttershy.", said Derpy. "Um... we don't have the machine with us right now, but we're on our way to get it back."

  "When you get it back, please talk to me. I'll be in my room at the 48th floor."

  "But... how about the guards?", asked Trixie.

  "I told Monotoli about the whole bribery thing. They're both fired. The elevator didn't need that much protection anyway."

  "Thank you so much!", said Twilight. "We'll get the machine back as soon as possible!"

  "Don't leave your friend waiting!", said the maid, followed by a giggle.

  At the desert, since it was nighttime, the group of ponies had a really hard time, struggling through the cold, so they had to walk extremely close to one another. Derpy liked it better that way, though. Much better than the burning sun. Eventually, they spotted a cave near the rocks. There was a monkey outside, waving for them to get inside. They obliged.

Pretty cold outside, huh?, "said" the monkey.

Not really., "said" Derpy. She and Twilight were the only ones who could use telepathy.

  "Where's Talah Rama?", asked Twilight.

I'd tell you if you gave me a Skip Sandwich., "said" the monkey.

  "I suppose I have one in my bag..."

  Twilight searched for a Skip Sandwich in her bag, eventually finding one.

  "Here you go."

A Skip Sandwich! This way, ladies... and dragon.

  "Darn right.", said Spike.

  The monkey led the group through one of the most confusing mazes they have ever seen. Derpy felt lucky, since she didn't have to figure anything out that time. Just follow the others.

  Eventually, the monkey introduced the group to Talah Rama, the leader of the monkey tribe.

Talah Rama, these are the ones., "said" the monkey.

  "Good job on finding them, Monkicus.", said Talah Rama. "You must be wondering why I'm here."

  "Well, yeah...", said Twilight.

  "The truth of space and time moves through the universe like a wave... truth speaks through space and matter and makes itself known to ponies all over Equestria. I was waiting for you, and you came. It was destined to happen. In truth, all is pre-determined... Twilight Sparkle, Spike the baby dragon, the Great and Powerful Trixie, Derpy Hooves, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity. When all of your powers gather, twisted space will bring peace back to the world. Do you understand?"

  "Well..."

  "It doesn't matter. Proceed as you wish... are you looking for this?"

  Talah Rama pulled out the yogurt machine, and Twilight took it before he could even declare it as given.

  "The adventure that lies ahead won't be easy. I'll give you a special skill that lets you move through time and space as you wish. Learn it from that monkey over there... would you like to learn this special power?"

  "Sounds fun!", said Pinkie Pie.

  "And practical.", said Twilight. "Alright, we're ready."

  Outside, at the desert, the night was colder than ever. It was so cold it made the ponies sick. Nothing they couldn't handle, though.

OK, I'll do a teacher's demonstration. Stand back., "said" the monkey. He then concentrated and teleported all the way to Manehattan, and then teleported back.

  "That was cool!", exclaimed Spike.

  "But... how did you do it?", asked Twilight.

It's easy. Just concentrate, think about the place you want to go, and release your magic. The magic should be concentrated on that determined place, and not on anything else. Got it?

  "Got it. Thank you."

Care for a demonstration?

  Twilight did as she was told, and teleported to Canterlot, and then back.

  "I did it!"

Easy, isn't it? Now, I gotta go., the monkey went back to his home.

  "Now, we got the yogurt machine AND we know how to teleport.", said Trixie. "Could this get any better?"

  "Fluttershy could be here now.", reminded Pinkie Pie.

  "Yeah, but we're off to rescue her now! Everyone, cheer up! Let's go back to Manehattan!"

  The group teleported back to Manehattan, near the Monotoli building, where the maid was waiting for them outside.

  "I kept asking for trout yogurt everywhere, but no one's ever heard of it.", said the maid. "Maybe it's a different culture..."

  "Yes it is.", said Pinkie Pie. "I've tasted it before, and I know why Fluttershy loves it so much!"

  "... have you got the machine with you?"

  "Yep. Here it is.", said Twilight, pulling out the yogurt dispenser. The maid took it before she could even see what it was like.

  "Thank you so very very very much!", said the maid. "Now I can make trout yogurt for my guests! I'll make some for you too."

  "That would be great. Thanks for the invitation."

  At the elevator to the 47th floor, Twilight noticed that the big-haunched mare was a little afraid of her.

  "Ooh hey, sorry for that.", pretended Twilight. "I caught myself staring at your haunches again... sorry."

  "... you better be.", said the mare, pretending along.

  The group then exited the elevator, straight to the other one, which had no guards that time, for Twilight's relief.

  "Shhh! Quiet!", said the elevator mare. "Aren't you Twilight Sparkle?"

  Twilight nodded proudly.

  "Mr. Monotoli's maid, Electra, told me about you. Are those your friends?"

  "Yes, they are. Can they go along?"

  "Of course!"

  On the 48th floor, the first thing that the group saw was a small, cute robot.

  "Aww, look at him!", said Pinkie Pie. "Such a cute little fella!"

  "DON'T KNOW YOU.", said the robot. "INTRUDER. MUST ELIMINATE."

  "Um... I think you got the wrong idea.", said Twilight. "We're friends."

  "LIARS DETECTED. MUST ELIMINATE."

  The robot fired out a missile at them. He really sounded like he wanted to kill them.

  "MISSILE FIRED. LOW FUEL. FEEDING TIME."

  He took out a bologna sandwich and started eating it. Twilight tried entering the door to Electra's room, but the robot had locked it. When he was finished, he was getting ready to fire another missile, when he suddenly blacked out and fell to the ground. Twilight opened her eyes, to find Vinyl in the room.

  "Looks like I got you out of some real trouble.", said Vinyl, winking at Twilight.

  "Vinyl? What are you doing here?", said Twilight. She could hear a really distant voice saying "Vinyl is here?".

  "I saw you entering the Monotoli building, and talking to Electra. I remember the last time I came here, to take care of show-preparing business. Then this pile of scrap came out of nowhere and attacked me. If Electra weren't here at that time, I probably would've died. He's Monotoli's pet, but Monotoli doesn't know that he keeps trying to kill everyone. Well, I knew that you would face the same problem, and I decided to save you and your friends' lives, as a way of saying thank you."

  "Thank you, thank you, thank you!", said Twilight, hugging Vinyl with all of her strength. "If it weren't for you, we'd be dead, and the world would be doomed in the hands of Discord! But thanks to you... I... I don't know how to say it... we owe it all to you!"

  "Just the hug would be fine.", said Vinyl, blushing a little. "Now, go save your friend, Twilight! I'm sure she's desperate to come back to your group!"

  "I will! Thank you, Vinyl! Thank you VERY much!"

  As the group bust through the door to Monotoli's office, they instantly spotted Fluttershy, zooming like lightning in their direction, hugging everyone with all of her strength.

  "I knew you would come soon!", said Fluttershy, with tears in her eyes. "You don't know how much I miss you guys!"

  "Now, about you...", said Twilight, walking over to Monotoli.

  "No, please! I give up! I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!", begged Monotoli.

  "Twilight, it's not his fault.", said Fluttershy. "Listen to what he has to say."

  "... the Luna Moona statue creates an illusion. It attracts evil spirits and weakens your heart. The power scared me so much, I hid the statue in the warehouse at Jackie's Café. I often went there to pray... cryptic words appeared to me while I was in the illusion. Twilight, your name appeared in the cryptic messages."

  "What did they say?"

  "They told me to stop you from going to Sunland... and not let you know anything about the pyramid."

  "Twilight, looks like they don't want us to go to Sunland!", said Pinkie Pie. "Looks like they'd be in real trouble if we actually went there. So, I think we definitely should go to Sunland, especially because they don't want us to go there!"

  "You're right, Pinkie!", said Twilight.

  "You can use my helicopter.", said Monotoli. "I'll open the door to my heliport. Fluttershy, it's time we said goodbye. Take care."

  "I will. Tell Electra that I'm really thankful for the trout yogurt."

  "I will."

  At the heliport, the helicopter looked pretty fancy. Didn't have a lot of space, but it was still pretty fancy. However, the head of a certain pony appeared on the window. That pony was none other than... you know.

  "SNIPS?!", said Twilight.

  "Twilight, you pin-headed idiot!", said Snips. "You were half a step too slow! I'm gettin' outta here! Monotoli has no more use for me, and this helicopter would really come in handy."

  Snips went away with the helicopter, laughing at Twilight's red, angry face. Looked like she was the world-class loser again.

  "... you motherfucker.", said Twilight. "Oh well. Looks like we'll have to find another way..."

  "I know!", said Derpy. "Do you remember when we first met?"

  "At the dungeon back in Spooktown? Yeah, you came in a strange ship thingy."

  "Well, I can fix it, so it can take us back to Winters! My father lives there, and he can offer us a great help."

  "Who's your father, Derpy?"

  "Why, none other than Dr. Peanuts, of course."

  "Dr. Peanuts?", said Trixie. "He's, like, the smartest pony in Equestria!"

  "Yeah, I heard about him.", said Twilight. "Derpy, you sure are one lucky fella!"

  "Indeed...", said Derpy.

  "Alright, everyone. Let's go back to Spooktown."

  The ponies went down to the ground floor, to find Vinyl waiting outside.

  "Hey, Twilight.", said Vinyl. "You're going somewhere?"

  "Yeah, we're going to Spooktown.", said Twilight.

  "For what reason?"

  "We're going to fix Derpy's ship so she can take us back to Ice Cube Land, and then reprogram it to take us to Sunland."

  "Oh... can I take you to Spooktown?"

  "I appreciate your help, but we... don't need it right now."

  "Please! I see you'll start going through a lot of new, distant places, and this might be the last time I can see you during your adventure! Think of this as a goodbye party!"

  "Well, if you insist..."

  While the group didn't arrive at Spooktown, Pinkie Pie decided to play some games with Derpy and Spike. Trixie and Fluttershy kept talking about random stuff, while Twilight was at the seat beside Vinyl's, and they talked about Vinyl's music and Twilight's adventure. When they did arrive, the town wasn't much different than the last time.

  "Yay, this place again!", said Fluttershy, spotting all the cute friendly ghosts.

  "We won't be here for long.", said Twilight. "We'll just fix Derpy's ship and get out of here."

  "Awww..."

  Down at the graveyard, some ponies were already doing their last touches on rebuilding the Sky Walker. It looked even better than the first version.

  "Oh, hello there.", said one of the ponies. "We saw your crash landing a few days ago, and decided to fix it while you were away. We have a nice hobby of fixing everything we come by for no good reason."

  "Well... thanks, guys!", said Derpy. "We don't even know you!"

  "You don't have to.", said the other pony. "As soon as you came out of the dungeon, me and my friend here decided to pay you a favor, since you're going to save the world, and all."

  "Who told you that?"

  "We saw it in your eyes. You look really determined to save Equestria from something really evil."

  "Hey, we're done!", said the other pony. "The Sky Walker is complete!"

  "Thank you, guys! Thanks for the help!", said Twilight.

  "You're welcome. You're helping us out even more."

  The ponies did a really good job on fixing the Sky Walker. It didn't even make a single noise, while on its way through the Dusty Dunes Desert and the city of Manehattan. Eventually, the ship flew above the beautiful Ice Cube Land. The whole group was amazed at the sight of it. It was something they had never seen before. They have heard of a snowy land far, far away, but they never knew it was true. It was simply amazing. Eventually, the ship returned to its home at Dr. Peanuts's lab.

  "Derpy!", said Dr. Peanuts. "You came back... earlier than I thought."

  "Sorry, daddy...", said Derpy. "... but I'm not staying here for long. We just want you to do us a favor."

  "Oh... well... what can I do to help you?"

  "Well, you see..."

  "Doctor!", exclaimed Trixie, as she jumped on top of him. "I'm your biggest fan!"

  "Hehe, thanks.", said Dr. Peanuts. "Now, please get off me."

  "Oh, sorry."

  "Ahem... as I was saying...", said Derpy. "... we need you to reprogram the Sky Walker, so it can take us all the way to Sunland."

  "What are you planning to do there?", asked Peanuts. "... oh wait... Derpy! You didn't even introduce me to your friends!"

  "Oh yeah, sorry about that. Um... this is Twilight Sparkle. She's the chosen one, and that's quite enough to know."

  "Pleased to meet you!", said Twilight, shaking Dr. Peanuts's hoof.

  "This is the Great and Powerful Trixie. She's a nice friend, and makes great use of her magic."

  Trixie was hopping in place, giggling excitedly.

  "She's also a big fan of yours, as you can see. This is Fluttershy. She's the one who actually got me involved into this."

  "Hi...", said Fluttershy.

  "This is Pinkie Pie. She's usually kind of wacky, but sometimes she proves to be really smart."

  "That's true!", said Pinkie Pie. "Like that time when we were at this crazy-dazy place, and everything made no sense, black was white, up was down, short was long, yes was no, and we were all like lost and..."

  "Okay, that's enough. This is Spike, Twilight's assistant. He doesn't stand out very much, but he can kick butt like no one else."

  "Darn right.", said Spike.

  "And I'm Derpy Hooves, daughter of the smartest pony in Equestria, Dr. Peanuts.", said Derpy, hugging her father with appreciation.

  "Awww...", said Pinkie Pie.

  "Okay, Derpy, that's enough.", said Dr. Peanuts. "Stop it before I start crying again."

  "Sure thing, daddy.", said Derpy.

  "Well... it's gonna take a little while for me to remodel the Sky Walker. Derpy, why don't you give your friends a small tour guide while I'm not finished?"

  "Good idea, daddy!... hey, that reminds me of something! Twilight, there's something I want you to see!"

  "Here it is!", said Derpy, while the group felt amazed by the beautiful scenery that is the Rainy Circle. "It may look like a regular ol' water puddle, but what makes it so beautiful is the cloud above it, raining its endless content down to the floor."

  "Derpy, it's beautiful!", said Twilight. "... I feel like singing."

  Twilight tried to sing that song, the one that was so important. She only sang half of it, though.

  "*sigh* Why is this song so hard to learn?", said Twilight. She could usually memorize a song just by hearing it three or four times, let alone a short song like that one.

  "Well, it does have special purposes.", said Trixie. "Maybe you're supposed to learn it really slowly."

  "Well... at least I remember half of it."

  "Twilight...", said Fluttershy. "... could we take a small break for a while, and rest here? I mean, this place looks so relaxing..."

  "I think we can stay here for a few minutes."

  The whole group fell to a shallow sleep, while remembering all the wonderful times they spent together, along with all the difficulties that were waiting for them.

  When Twilight woke up, the sun was already out. Looks they had slept a little too much. Good for them, anyway, but Dr. Peanuts was waiting.

  "Hey, Fluttershy, wake up!", said Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy and Spike were the only ones sleeping. "We gotta go back to the lab!"

  Fluttershy slowly opened her eyes and yawned, while poking quietly on Spike's shoulder.

  "Uh... oh right. Peanuts. Got it.", said Spike.

  Back at Peanuts's lab, the doctor was sleeping on the table, looking really tired.

  "Poor daddy.", said Derpy. "He must've worked all night..."

  "Nuh, I fine, I'm fine...", mumbled Dr. Peanuts. "The Zgy Waller... itz dun... go to sun..."

  "Just rest here, daddy. We'll take care of the rest. Goodbye."

  Derpy then pecked her father's cheek, and led the way to the Sky Walker.

  "Next stop: Sunland!", exclaimed Derpy, while the Sky Walker took off to the skies.

  Arriving at Sunland, the Sky Walker decided to crack up again. This time, it seemed worse than before.

  "Alright, everyone, don't panic.", said Derpy. "We are not going to die. Stay calm."

  Fluttershy was breathing heavily, panic flowing through her veins.

  "The most we're going to suffer is a slight misorientation.", said Twilight. "Nothing too serious."

  The Sky Walker flew above the Sunland beach, and decided to crash land on the seashore.

  "Yeah... this time, looks like there's no way to get it back.", said Derpy, watching as the remaining Sky Walker pieces were stolen by the waves of the sea.

  "Is everyone alright?", said Trixie.

  "Ah ha ha...", laughed Fluttershy. "... ha ha! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! Aah..."

  "No need to flip out. Everyone's fine, it seems.", said Twilight. "Snips must have been here recently."

  "What will we do now?", asked Spike.

  "I think we should go to some kind of pyramid?", said Fluttershy. "Like Monotoli said."

  "How will we go to the desert?", said Derpy. "Snips stole the helicopter, and maybe he'll get there before us."

  "Well, I don't freaking care if Snips was there or not.", said Twilight. "He probably doesn't know anything about the pyramid."

  "Let's ask for information.", said Derpy.

  While asking around for information, the group eventually reached the small city of Toto. They saw a few boats they could use to get across the ocean. Near them was a sailor pony, who apparently was taking care of the whole sea-crossing business.

  "Excuse me, sir...", said Twilight. "... could we rent one of your boats?"

  "Oh... sorry, we're closed.", said the sailor.

  "For what reason, may I ask? I mean, it's four in the afternoon."

  "I don't feel like sending a ship out. I'm worried about my wife... I'm not afraid of the Kraken!"

  "Why? What's happened to her?"

  "She's completely ignored her Magic Cake business. These days, she spends her time hanging out at a strange club. We no longer have mutual interests to discuss. Our relationship is starting to end... *sigh*"

  "Magic Cake?", said Derpy. "What's so important about it?"

  "Well, you see... it contains special powers, sort of. And it also tastes really good."

  "Looks tasty!", said Pinkie Pie. "Where is that strange club, so we can talk to your wife?"

  "It's over there, a couple blocks down the street. To enter it, though, you gotta make a reservation by phone. Do you know the number?"

  "Well, of course not.", said Twilight. "Can you give it?"

  "Here it is, the phone number to the Stoic Club, a couple blocks down the street: 555-1337. Make sure you write it down."

  "Don't worry. Now, could you tell me where to find an actual phone?"

  "I got one right here.", the sailor pulls out a receiver phone from his suit's pocket. Twilight took it and called the number.

Hello, this is the Stoic Club., said the club's receptionist. Do you want to make a reservation?

  "Um... yeah, I would.", said Twilight.

Name, please?

  "Twilight Sparkle."

... a-any friends you'd like to take along?

  "Yes."

How many?

  "Five... isn't it?... yeah, five friends."

Okay... hey, aren't you Twilight Sparkle, the one who's looking to saving the world, or something?

  "Yeah, that's me!"

We're really looking forward to having you here! Just think of all the hype this is going to bring! Thank you, and have a nice day.

  "You too."

*hangs up*

  "Well, everypony... looks like we've got a reservation!"

  "Would you convince my wife to stop with all that nonsense and keep making her fabulous Magic Cake?", asked the sailor.

  "If it's so important to you... sure."

  "Aww, thanks! You really are heroes!"

  A couple blocks away wasn't a huge distance. Just some ten minutes of walking, and that's it. What made it last so long is the burning sunlight, at least colder than the Dusty Dunes Desert.

  "Looks like we're starting to get famous.", said Spike.

  "I don't know if this is a good thing or not...", said Twilight. "It could mean more bad guys."

  "Or good guys!", said Pinkie Pie, always optimistic. "So they can help us fight the bad guys!"

  "Well, here we are.", said Trixie. "The Stoic Club... looks pretty fancy."

  "Well, what are we waiting for?", said Spike. "Let's go inside!" He then ran to the door.

  "Ladies first!", yelled Pinkie Pie, as Spike was getting really close to the door. He turned around as soon as possible, while the other ones giggled.

  "Not trickin' me this time."

  "Oh, come on, Spike!", said Pinkie. "It's just a joke, after all!"

  The Stoic Club was the classiest-looking place the ponies have ever seen. It was so fancy it put Canterlot AND Manehattan to shame. And apparently, all the members did was look at rocks and talk about intellectually-nonsensical stuff. However, Derpy overheard an interesting conversation:

  - "How I'd like to eat some Magic Cake..."

  - "I know, right? It's absolutely delicious. Too bad the only woman who can make it is now rotting in this club, thinking about the absolute irony and study of self-notification, and blah blah blah..."

  - "I thought this club was only for interesting people? These people are so lame!"

  - "Well, even though you are right, there are still some interesting ponies around here... like that purple unicorn right over there."

  - "Ho ho, dude, did I hear right?

  - "What? It's not like you never fell in love before."

  - "Well, what you waitin' for? Go ask her out! She looks single to me!"

  Derpy went back to Twilight, after hearing some other parts of the conversation I'd rather not point out.

  "Commander Twilight.", said Derpy. "I did some research, and I found out that the target is in this club. Over."

  "Derpy, were you spying on other people's conversations again?", said Twilight. "You're not a secret agent."

  "I'm not? Oh, yeah, I'm not. Anyway, the Magic Baker is in this club. Just thought I'd warn you."

  "... that's nice to know. Now, we just gotta find out which one is the baker."

  "Oh yeah, and somepony here has got his fancies on you." Derpy winked and knocked Twilight with her elbow.

  "Really?... tell you what: why don't you go there and um... try to... find out who's the baker here?"

  "You want me to spy on them?"

  "That is your mission."

  "As you wish, Commander Twilight! I won't let you down!"

  Derpy sneaked through the crowd, trying to be the pony counterpart of Solid Snake. She found a cardboard box in a random corner, and hid under it, and crawled to the two conversating stallions.

  - "Well, if you don't ask her out, you might never see her again. Even though she looks kinda familiar..."

  - "Well, maybe she's not the one for me."

  - "She's not even THAT pretty. That pink one is much prettier."

  - "You're out of luck. That baby dragon talking to her is probably her boyfriend."

  - "Dang it..."

  - "Besides, she's the ugliest of them all. The blue unicorn, on the other hoof..."

  - "I don't think she'd date somepony like us."

  - "I guess you're right... hey, what's this cardboard box with eyes doing here?"

  *!!!* "I give up!", said Derpy, surrendering like a real soldier.

  "Hey, we don't mind it at all, miss.", said one of the conversators.

  "Hehehe... anyway... I miss some Magic Cake... don't you?", said Derpy.

  "I know, right?", said the other conversator. "It felt like rainbows in my mouth, man!"

  "Do you know who's responsible for the wonderful treat that is the Magic Cake?"

  "Yeah, she's right over there."

  "Thanks."

  "By the way, you look pretty cute.", said one of them. "Wanna go out?"

  "Oh, sorry... I'm already taken."

  Derpy went back to the cardboard box, and sneaked into the crowd, back to Commander Twilight.

  "Target acquired, Commander Twilight!", said Derpy. "She's right over there!"

  "Good. Thank you, Agent Derpy. *giggle* Anyway... did they say anything more?"

  "Wha-- oh yeah... they said you looked familiar."

  "Oh... okay. Anyway, I think we should go to talk to her then."

  "Excuse me...", said Twilight. "... wanna talk?"

  "I'm sure we will have a delightful time.", said the baker.

  "Um... how are you doing?"

  "Finer than I've ever been. I've finally awakened the inner me, the true self. The patrons of this club are able to stare into their own soul hard enough to burn a hole in their psyche. I'm now comfortable enough to stare at the real me, the true self, and burn the impression into my super-ego. I want to be in this comfort zone at any time, all the time or at no time. My id is telling me--"

  "Okay, okay, sorry to interrupt, I heard that you're the one who makes Magic Cakes... am I right?"

  "... what? Magic Cake? You came all this way just to eat my Magic Cake?!"

  "... yeah."

  "I see... okay. Why don't you stop by a little cart on the beach later?"

  "Thank you. We never actually tasted your Magic Cake, and since we're here, we might as well try it..."

  "I understand... you didn't even get what I was talking about, did you?"

  "... no."

  "I understand that too. Don't worry, I'm not mad at you. You're still a teenager, so it's normal to get bored with this kind of stuff. Now, I gotta go bake the cake."

  "It's done.", said the baker. "Now, which one of you will taste it first?"

  "Me!", said Pinkie Pie. "Me me me me me me me!"

  "Okay, here you go..."

  Pinkie Pie took a piece of the Magic Cake and devoured it in one bite.

  "... delicious! But I don't feel so right..."

  "That's when the magic comes in."

  After everyone tasted the cake, they could agree with Pinkie: the cake was delicious. However, they didn't feel so right.

  "I feel so sleepy right now...", said Derpy, before falling to the floor.

  "Derpy!", said Spike. "What's happening?"

  "Don't panic, guys.", said the baker. "She's perfectly fine, she just fell into a deep sleep... just like every one of you. That's perfectly healthy, don't worry, okay?"

  "I somehow trust you.", said Twilight, before everyone fell into a deep sleep.

  Oh no! What could be the fate of Twilight and her friends? Will they wake up from their cake-induced sleep? Where could Snips be? What does the pyramid have to do with anything? Can this story get any more ridiculous and badly-written? Will this disgrace ever end, so the readers won't have to deal with this pile of junk ever again? (of course not!) Find out the answer to the other questions in the eleventh chapter of EquestriaBound!

  I regret nothing!

The Great Mighty Rainbow Dash

  Cloudsdale, in the far east.

  Cloud Palace, the home of Rainbow Dash, the pegasus apprentice.

  "Wake up.", said one of the king's guards, to the blue pegasus, who was sleeping like a rock. "Rainbow Dash, wake up."

  "... wh-what is it?", said Rainbow Dash, her eyes opening against her will.

  "The king needs to talk to you."

  "Does it have to be now? I'm trying to sleep here."

  "He said it was urgent."

  "Just five more minutes..."

  "Rainbow Dash, when the king says it's urgent, you must be there at this exact moment. So get up, and go talk to the king."

  "*sigh* Fine..."

  Rainbow Dash fluttered through the palace's halls. It was so early in the morning she could still see the moon through the windows. The throne room was so filled up, it looked like every pegasus in Cloudsdale was there. The king was awaiting for her. Rainbow Dash dropped to the floor and bowed over.

  "Rainbow Dash...", said the king, with his loud, baritone voice. "... the time has come for you to undertake your final trial."

  "Whoa, really?!", said Rainbow Dash. "Heck yeah! Now I can finally be a real pegasus!"

  "What?"

  "Please, excuse her language, sire.", said the king's guard. "She's going through that phase of our lives."

  "No I'm not!", said Rainbow Dash. "This is just the way I am. Can't you understand this?"

  "AHEM!", said the king, with an even louder tone. "Please, stay silent, you two."

  "Pardon me, sire.", said the guard.

  "Sorry, dude.", said RD.

  "As I was saying...", said the king. "... Rainbow Dash, for your final trial, you must go to the Place of Emptiness, and endure your final test. I am praying for your success in the final stage of your training."

  "Sweet!", said Rainbow Dash. "Thank you, king! I won't let you down!"

  "Of course you won't."

  Rainbow Dash flew through the door, going outside toward the Place of Emptiness. On her way, several pegasi cheered for her, while she tried to show off by making a bunch of cool flying stunts. When she got tired, she saw Scootaloo, who was cheering the most.

  "Rainbow Dash, you are the coolest pegasus ever!", said Scootaloo.

  "Oh hey, Scootaloo.", said Rainbow Dash. "How you doin'?"

  "I'm doing great! I hope that, someday, I can grow up to be just like you!"

  "Haha! You've still got a long way ahead, Scootie."

  "Can you teach me how to do one of your tricks?"

  "Oh... sorry, Scootie, but I don't have the time right now. I'm about to complete my training and become a real pegasus!"

  "To me, you're a real pegasus already."

  Rainbow Dash let out a tear from all the cuteness involved. "That's so nice of you, Scootie! Now... I gotta go."

  "Can I come with you? I want to see what I'm gonna have to deal with when I complete my training."

  "Sure."

  At the Place of Emptiness, Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo were the only ones around. The place really did feel empty.

  "Now, Scootie...", said Rainbow Dash. "... I heard that this is the scariest trial of them all. Dumb-Bell told me that I was going to fail it, because I was such a weakling, so I'm going to prove him wrong."

  "Good luck, Rainbow Dash. I know you can do this!", said Scootaloo.

  Suddenly, an old pegasus flew over to their location. He looked really wise.

  "You have nice eyes.", said the old pegasus. "You must be Rainbow Dash."

  "That's me.", said Rainbow Dash.

  "Your Mu Training will hopefully end today. I completed it a long time ago, and I want to show you a higher level of intelligence. I'm still realizing and learning this high level. Anyway, here's your trial: you must fly over to the top of the mountain, and not give up for anything. You must stay there until you know you're done. Got it?"

  "Got it."

  Rainbow Dash flew over to the mountain, while Scootaloo watched, and the old pegasus flew away.

  "*sigh* You can do this, Rainbow Dash.", said Rainbow Dash to herself. "It's easy. Just stay here until the end. What's so hard about it?"

  "Rainbow Dash!", said the king's guard, from another mountain top. "I am a messenger from the king!"

  "Hey, what's new?"

  "The king sent me to tell you to stop the trial immediately."

  "Well, tell him to go buck himself."

  "Rainbow Dash!! You must come back with me instead of staying in a place such as this!"

  "Say what you want. I'm not coming back. Not after years of hard work."

  "The king wishes it... please come back. You must give up this trial for now... believe what I say. It is the truth."

  "Dude, why don't you go bug someone else? I'm not coming down from this cloud!"

  "This is a mountain."

  "Do you ever listen to music? Anyway, I'm not coming back."

  "I made you some cookies. I know you love cookies."

  "Care to bring them here?"

  "I didn't actually make any cookies... but please, you've got to come back!"

  "I won't. Now go live your life."

  "*sigh* You know what? Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you."

  "Yeah, go away."

  The guard flew away, while Rainbow Dash didn't even reconsider what she just said. The training was really important to her, and she wasn't going to ruin everything just because of some fake cookies. While everything happened, Scootaloo was cheering quietly, to not break Rainbow Dash's concentration.

  Eventually, Rainbow Dash started to black out. She didn't complain, though. Maybe it was part of the training. On her strange dream, an ugly-faced spirit came to her mind.

  "Rainbow Dash...", said the spirit. "... I am the spirit of your ancient lineage."

  "Hey there, dude.", said Rainbow Dash, out loud. Scootaloo didn't see anyone beside her.

  "To complete this trial, I am going to break your legs."

  "Heh, sure, go ahe-- WHAT?!"

  "You will lose the use of them. Do you accept this?"

  Rainbow Dash considered refusing, but she knew that it was part of the training. While expecting the worst, she let out a quiet "yes". She then felt a HUGE pain in all of her four legs. It was so painful she couldn't even scream. All she did was lie there, trying to resist the uncontrollable urge to cry her heart out.

  "So, Rainbow Dash...", said the spirit. "... you cannot walk, as your legs are broken. Next, I will tear your wings off."

  "W-what now?", said Rainbow Dash.

  "I shall then take your wings and feed them to the crows. Do you accept this?"

  Again, Rainbow Dash let out a much quieter "yes". She then felt another (slightly lighter) huge pain, this time in her wings. Rainbow Dash couldn't hold a tear or two, but still kept strong.

  "Ah, Rainbow Dash...", said the spirit. "Without legs and wings, you can only lie there... now, I'll cut your ears off. You don't mind if I take your hearing away, do you?"

  Rainbow Dash struggled to shake her head. The pain from her legs and wings was still unbearable. But, at the same time, she knew that her legs were perfectly fine, as well as her wings. However, her brain was too busy receiving pain signals to actually realize that her body was in perfect state. Eventually, she realized she couldn't hear a thing.

  "Rainbow Dash, what's happening?!", yelled Scootaloo. Rainbow Dash didn't answer.

  "So, Rainbow Dash...", said the spirit. "No legs, no wings, no sound... by floating words through the air, I must ask you... do you care if I take your eyes?"

  "N-n... no... no.", said Rainbow Dash.

  "Do you want to live in eternal darkness?"

  "Might as well... right?"

  Rainbow Dash suddenly realized she couldn't see a thing either. However, her eyes were still there, because she couldn't hold her tears anymore. She felt like she was dying, and the torture session didn't help much.

  "So, Rainbow Dash...", said the spirit. "... now I can only communicate directly with your mind. Your mind is all you have left... in the end, I will take your mind... though you probably don't want to allow that, do you?"

  Rainbow Dash couldn't say a thing. She has never felt that much pain before.

  "So... you can't answer? You can't even move? Are you sad?... are you lonely?"

  All Rainbow Dash could do was cry with more intensity.

  "If you lose your mind, you also lose any feelings of sadness... do you accept this?"

  Rainbow Dash nodded with extreme difficulty.

  "I will take your mind, Rainbow Dash... know that I will possess it..."

  The pain was suddenly fading away quite fast.

  "... and tell you that you've completed your Mu Training."

  Rainbow Dash woke up, with tears all over her face. She looked around her body. She didn't see blood around, and she looked perfectly fine. She could move her legs again, and she could also hear the singing of birds. When she recovered her mind, she saw the same old pegasus standing in front of her.

  "Congratulations, Rainbow Dash.", said the old pegasus. "You have completed your Mu Training!"

  "Wha... what happened?", said Rainbow Dash. "I thought my legs were broken, and..."

  "... and also your wings were torn off, your ears were cut off and you lost your sight. All that, and you didn't even think about going back! You, Rainbow Dash, are the most loyal pegasus in Cloudsdale!"

  "... REALLY?!"

  "You were the only pegasus in the whole land that managed to keep yourself up, and pass this trial in your first time! Our second best pegasus, Dumb-Bell, actually took thirteen tries before finally getting over this. But you... you just went ahead and passed the test like it was no big deal!"

  "Actually, it was a pretty big deal..."

  "Rainbow Dash!", said Scootaloo, flying over to the top of the mountain. "You did it! I knew you could do it!"

  Rainbow Dash smiled. She now knew that she was the awesomest pegasus in Cloudsdale, and her number one fan now likes her even more. Just the thought of making a child happy was enough to cheer her up.

  "The king must be so pleased!", said the old pegasus. "Let's hurry to the palace!"

  "Rainbow Dash...", said the king. "... I am most certainly proud of you. You have completed your Mu Training. There is nothing more I can teach you from the holy writings."

  Every pegasus in the palace was cheering. Rainbow Dash felt like the best pegasus in the world... she was, actually.

  "Now, Rainbow Dash, I shall relay a message to you from Eternity."

  "I'm listening.", said Rainbow Dash.

  "The evil entity that controls all chaos is preparing for the greatest struggle of all time. The only ones who can challenge the entity are nine ponies and a baby dragon. The leader of the group is a purple unicorn, named Twilight Sparkle. And one of the ponies is you, Rainbow Dash. And now that you've completed your training, you must search out Twilight Sparkle at once. For all beings, for Equestria itself, I pray for growth in the might of the group."

  "Thanks for everything, guys.", said Rainbow Dash. "I'll miss you."

  "Good luck, Rainbow Dash!", said Scootaloo, giving Rainbow Dash one last hug.

  "I'll miss you too, Scootie."

  Rainbow Dash then flew off to the land below, somehow knowing where she needed to go.

Pride and Joy

  Twilight opened her eyes, finding out that she has been sleeping on the floor, out in the open, along with all the other ponies in the group. After recovering her senses, she finds a rainbow-maned, blue-coated pegasus standing in front of her.

  "W... w-who are you?", asked Twilight.

  "Oh hey.", said Rainbow Dash. "Pleased to meet ya. My name's Rainbow Dash. You're Twilight Sparkle, aren't ya?"

  "Um... yeah, that's me."

  "I was sent from the sky-high lands of Cloudsdale to this land, to serve and obey Twilight Sparkle, while fighting by her side. My life is now on your hooves!"

  "You don't have to act like that... I'm a teenager just like you are."

  "Yeah, I considered figuring that out. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is: I completed my Mu Training, and now I gotta join you and your group of worldsavers to destroy some evil entity that's going to make the world go boom, or something."

  "Welcome to the team, Rainbow Dash. Let's just wake the others up, and we'll resume our adventure."

  Twilight proceeded to wake all the others up, while Rainbow Dash analyzed them for recognition purposes. When she was done, their attention was turned to the strange blue pegasus in the middle of the crowd.

  "Twilight, who's that pegasus over there?", asked Derpy.

  "Oh, this is Rainbow Dash.", said Twilight. "She's the new member."

  "Hey there, Rainbow Dash!", said Pinkie Pie. "Welcome to the team!"

  "Care to introduce them to me, Twilight?", asked Rainbow Dash. "I gotta know how to deal with your friends, and all."

  "Well...", said Twilight. "... this is Pinkie Pie. She spreads happiness everywhere she goes. That is Derpy Hooves. She's quite a genius, if I do say so myself."

  "My pleasure.", greeted Derpy.

  "This is Trixie, the powerful wizard. She's a good friend, even though she's quite a showoff sometimes."

  "Hey!", said Trixie.

  "This is Spike, the baby dragon. He may look weak and helpless, but he packs quite a punch."

  "Hey there, li'l fella.", said Rainbow Dash.

  "Hey.", said Spike.

  "Last but not least, this is Fluttershy. She saved us a lot of trouble back in Spooktown, and has good nursing talent."

  "... hi.", said Fluttershy.

  "Ooh, hi there.", said Rainbow Dash.

  "Anyway, enough introductions.", said Twilight. "Is everyone awake?"

  "Yep."

  "Okay, let's go to... um... where are we supposed to go again?"

  "No clue.", said Spike.

  "Maybe I can help.", said an old-looking earth pony who was just passing by.

  "Who are you?", said Twilight.

  "Doesn't matter. I've been shufflin' through the scripts, and according to what I've read, you're supposed to go to the museum."

  "Wait, AG doesn't use scripts...", said Pinkie Pie.

  "I'm talking about the game's script, not the fanfic."

  "What are you two talking about?!", said Twilight.

  "You wouldn't understand, Twilight.", said Pinkie. "Anyway, what else did you see?"

  "Nothing else.", said the hint pony. "AG caught me in the middle of my spying, and kicked me out."

  "Well, it wouldn't be as exciting if we knew what was going to happen anyway."

  "Whatcha waitin' for? To the museum!", said the hint pony, before walking away like nothing happened.

  "You heard him.", said Pinkie Pie. "To the museum!"

  At the museum, Pinkie Pie had forgotten to ask the hint pony where exactly they should go. Oh well.

  "Five bits per pony.", said the receptionist.

  Twilight paid for everyone in the group, while Spike tried to enter without paying, since he wasn't a pony. Didn't work.

  "Oooh, this stuff looks so funny!", said Pinkie Pie, rushing all around the museum. "You should totally see this!"

  "Wait a minute...", said Rainbow Dash. "... I remember being here before... oh yeah! Twilight, follow me!"

  "Alright!", said Twilight, hoping to make some progress in her adventure.

  The group followed Rainbow Dash to the back room door. There was a funny-looking pony, apparently waiting for her, blocking the way.

  "This room is being remodeled.", said the funny-faced pony. "I can't let you in-- oh, aren't you Rainbow Dash?"

  "Hey there, Alfred.", said Rainbow Dash. "I still owe you that, don't I?"

  "Yep. But we'll get there in a minute. I'll let you guys in."

  The back room had a really cool-looking Egyptian-styled statue in the middle.

  "Whoa... cool!", said Spike.

  "Wait, what's with all these strange symbols?", said Twilight, finding an ancient scroll containing some rather weird drawings.

  "It's the ancient pegasi's language.", said Rainbow Dash. "Let me read it for you."

To fight against invaders, we built this pyramid fortress. However, our efforts were futile, and we lost. Nonetheless, our pyramid was protected by the gods of Scaraba. The invaders will be reborn every millenium and will attack again. Even now, the invaders hide beyond space and time and build their evil stronghold. A place out of time is beyond the Dark, and is even farther beyond the Lost Underworld. The Everfree Forest is shrouded, it is without light. Only one with the Hawk Eye can pierce the dark. The Sphinx now watches over everything, waiting for the coming of a truly brave hero.

  "The Everfree Forest?", said Fluttershy. "It's right next to Ponyville! I never bothered to go deeper into it, though."

  "Anything else?", said Twilight.

  "Yeah, but we probably wouldn't care about the rest. But I know what we gotta do now: we must go to Scaraba. The pyramid is the key!"

  "But wait, there's something I want to ask you first."

  "What is it?"

  "Do you know about any special places around Equestria? You know, places with special powers, and all that?"

  "You mean sanctuaries? I think there's one in Manehattan, and another one in Cloudsdale. However... the Pink Cloud, in Cloudsdale, is locked by some wacky bunny statues. I've been to the Magnet Hill in Manehattan. It feels really good to just lay there and get some sleep."

  "Yes, I know. Thank you, Rainbow Dash. We're going to Manehattan."

  "WAIT WAIT WAIT!", said Alfred. "Rainbow Dash... aren't you forgetting something?"

  "Oh yeah.", said Rainbow Dash, before pulling out a tiny ruby from her empty saddlebag and giving it to Alfred.

  "Here's a copy of the hieroglyphs. It's a reward for studying so hard."

  "Thanks, dude."

  "Are we ready?", said Twilight.

  "Ready!"

  Twilight teleported the whole group to the big city.

  "Here we are!", said Twilight.

  "Now, I remember that the Magnet Hill was located near the dinosaur museum.", said Rainbow Dash.

  "Okay, let's go then."

  At the museum, Pinkie Pie kept zooming around the room again, giggling at all the dinosaur skeletons. The group followed Rainbow Dash to the back room again. This time, the pony blocking the path was Applejack.

  "Hey there, Applejack.", said Twilight. "Could you excuse us? We're going to the Magnet Hill."

  "Yeah... 'bout that.", said Applejack. "Ah talked to Braeburn 'bout all this adventure stuff y'all guys are doin', and ah decided to join y'all, if that's okay."

  "That's great! Talah Rama did mention you, so I guess I should accept this."

  "Who's that again?"

  "Nevermind... welcome to the team."

  "But that's not the only reason ah'm here... ah was wonderin' if ah could ask you a favor."

  "I suppose we have enough time... what is it?"

  "Y'see, Octavia's in town today, and her show's 'bout to start at the Topolla Theater... ah'm a big fan of her music, but ah don't have a ticket, so ah can't go. Ah was wonderin' if you could help me out."

  "Are you kidding?", said Spike. "She's the most beautiful and talented pony in Equestria!... in my opinion, anyway. Twilight, can we go?"

  "Well...", said Twilight. "... after three PON-3 concerts, I think you deserve some time for yourself. Okay, Applejack, we'll take you to the show."

  "Ah'm sorry if ah'm wastin' your time.", said Applejack.

  "Not at all. Snips probably doesn't even know what he's doing now."

  "Who's that?"

  "The antagonist of the whole story."

  "Oh, ah'm sure he's as lost as a squirrel in a hat factory!"

  At the Topolla Theater, Twilight bought tickets to the whole group. The show was crowded, as Octavia showed up on stage, along with her band. She played the cello for her opening song, and showed amazing talent. It was instrumental, and Twilight noticed that the ponies around her were begging to hear her singing.

  "What's her voice like?", asked Twilight to Applejack.

  "You kiddin' me?", said Applejack. "She sounds like an angel!"

  "I never heard her music before... what does she usually play?"

  "Pretty much everythin', from jazz metal to progressive polka. She's never lackin' creativity."

  "Sounds like fun."

  It was very fun, indeed. Octavia often switched instruments throughout the show, according to the music style. Besides her cello, she played piano, oboe, accordion, and even a harmonica solo. The music wasn't as good as Vinyl's work (in Twilight's opinion), but it was fun to listen to. Spike drooled, pretty much through the entire show. Rainbow Dash managed to get a few quick glances at Fluttershy, who was enjoying the show in her own introverted way. Pinkie Pie loved Octavia's accordion playing in the "Polka Dots" song. Other good songs included "Social Mindstate", "Happy Times", and "Love Theme". It was a pretty fun show, overall.

  "Twilight...", said Spike. "... could I ask a smaller favor?"

  "Go ahead.", said Twilight.

  "Can we get an autograph from her?"

  "Haha... sure."

  At the backstage door, the guard seemed to recognize the group.

  "Wait a second.", he said. "Aren't you a friend of Vinyl Scratch?"

  Twilight nodded.

  "You wanna go backstage?"

  She nodded again.

  "You promise not to jump on her and start shuffling through her stuff?"

  "We do. Right, Spike?"

  "Right.", said Spike.

  The guard knocked on the door.

Yes?, said Octavia through the door.

  "There are some fans here, wanting to see you.", said the guard.

*sigh* Tell them I'm busy.

  "They promised not to be any inconvenience... and they're friends with Vinyl Scratch."

Really?... fine, let them in.

  Backstage, Octavia was putting her cello back into its case, while listening to some classical music.

  "Well... what brings you here?", asked Octavia.

  "Hey, Octavia.", said Applejack. "Um... ah'm a big fan of yours."

  "If you weren't, why would you even be here?", joked her, giggling politely.

  "Well, Octavia, we're just here to ask you a small favor.", said Twilight. "My friend Spike is a huge fan of yours too, and he would like your autograph, if it isn't too much worry."

  "Oh, not at all. I don't have any papers with me... do you mind if I use this banana peel instead?"

  "I don't care if it's written on toilet paper.", said Spike.

  "Hahaha! Okay then!"

  Octavia gave the autograph to Spike, and then pecked on his cheek, which turned Spike's eyes into hearts.

  "Think of this as a bonus.", joked Octavia. "Is that all?"

  "Yeah, thanks for your time.", said Twilight. "Now, I think we should be going."

  "Hey, aren't you Twilight Sparkle?"

  "Yes. That's me."

  "Good luck on saving the world!"

  "Thanks!"

  Back at the museum, at the back door, the only thing in there was a ponyhole leading to the sewers.

  "Who's going to climb down first?", said Rainbow Dash, with a joking tone.

  "We gotta go through the sewers?", said Twilight.

  "Well, yeah. And I hope we don't have to deal with that giant rat monster as well."

  "A rat... monster?!", said Fluttershy.

  "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.", said Trixie. "We're the winning team, aren't we?"

  "Let's go down then.", said Derpy.

  At the sewers, the group walked through the corridors, while Rainbow Dash led the way, looking for a ladder to the surface. Derpy was relieved that it wasn't another maze. Suddenly, a huge rat monster showed up.

  "EEK!", squealed Fluttershy, hiding behind Pinkie Pie.

  "Never fear!", said Spike. "The Butt Kickers are here! Bring it on, you rat-brained knucklehead!"

  The rat monster took Spike by his tail and threw him on the floor, like a miserable bug.

  "He's too strong!"

  "Stand back, everyone!", said Rainbow Dash, before giving the rat monster a flying kick to the face. The rat monster fell down, with his eyes derped out.

  "Wow!", said Twilight. "You really are strong. Congrats on that."

  The rat monster struggled to get up and started attacking again.

  "Oh no you don't!", said Trixie. "How about a freezing spell?"

  Trixie cast a freezing spell on the rat monster, freezing him for a few hours.

  "That should take care of him."

  "Hey, guys! I found the ladder!", said Rainbow Dash. "The Magnet Hill is up there!"

  "Alright, everypony.", said Twilight. "Just do whatever you want, while I try to get that song on my head again."

  "What she talkin' 'bout?", whispered Applejack to Trixie.

  "Just ignore it.", said Trixie. "You wouldn't understand."

  "Hey, Fluttershy!", said Pinkie Pie. "Look what I found!"

  Pinkie Pie had a strange, neat-looking object on her hooves.

  "Looks like some kind of key...", said Derpy.

  "... shaped like a carrot?", said Fluttershy.

  "Oh, so that's where I dropped it!", said Rainbow Dash, taking the carrot key from Pinkie Pie's hooves. "The folks at Cloudsdale went all out on me just because I dropped it here. It gives us access to the Pink Cloud sanctuary."

  "Gosh, I want to learn that song so bad!", said Twilight. "Just a few more notes and it's done! I'm so frustrated!"

  "Hey, Twilight!", said Rainbow Dash. "We found the key to the Pink Cloud sanctuary, in Cloudsdale!"

  "That's great news!"

  "But how are we going to Cloudsdale if you have never been there before?", asked Fluttershy.

  "Hmm...", wondered Rainbow Dash. "... maybe if I touch you while you're concentrating your magic, and I'm concentrating on our destination, then we could do a Dual Teleport, or something... I mean... you know what I mean, right?"

  "Yeah, maybe it'll work...", said Twilight. "... okay, let's try that."

  Twilight concentrated on the teleport spell, while Rainbow Dash concentrated on the group's destination. Guess what? It actually worked, for some strange, sense-lacking reason.

  "I don't believe it!", said Twilight. "It actually worked!"

  "Ha! I didn't think it would work either!", said Rainbow Dash. "I'm quite amazed!"

  "Rainbow Dash!", said Scootaloo. "You're back already?"

  "Oh hey, Scootaloo. I just came back so I could go to the Pink Cloud along with Twilight and her friends."

  "But... didn't you lose the key six months ago?"

  "Hehe... yep. But I got it back!"

  "Well then... good luck to all of you!"

  "Awww, such a cute little filly!", said Pinkie Pie. "Good luck to you too!"

  "Thanks. I got a school test today, so I'll need all the luck I can get."

  "Don't tell anyone that I'm here, okay?", said Rainbow Dash. "I want to make it out of this as soon as possible. The world's waiting for me, and all."

  "Got it!"

  "Rainbow Dash, I got a question.", said Derpy. "If the Pink Cloud is... basically... a pink cloud, why don't you guys just fly toward it? I mean, I can see it right there."

  "I don't know.", said Rainbow Dash. "I tried it, but there's apparently some kind of invisible wall around it. The only way we can get on it is by that door over there."

  Rainbow Dash pointed to a nearby cave, with three bunny statues blocking the path.

  "Is that what the carrot key is for?", asked Fluttershy.

  "Exactly.", said Rainbow Dash. "Funny, isn't it?"

  "Yes... kinda. *giggle*"

  "So, how does it feel?", asked Rainbow Dash, as the group arrived at the Pink Cloud sanctuary.

  "It feels like I'm stepping on cotton candy!", said Twilight.

  "Try laying down."

  Twilight laid down on the cotton-candy floor. It was enough to put an owl to sleep.

  "Nice! Two sanctuaries in less than an hour!", said Twilight. "I think I can remember a few more notes."

  "I remember that time when Scootaloo was a young foal...", said Rainbow Dash. "... and I told her about this place, and then she kept begging me to take her here, to see what it was like. Then I helped her sneak out of her house, and I took her to this place, and we played around until she got tired and fell asleep. She now tells me that it was the happiest day of her life."

  "Awwww...", said Pinkie Pie.

  "You're sisters or somethin'?", said Applejack.

  "No, we're just really close friends, that's all.", said Rainbow Dash. "But I treat her like she was my younger sister, since I don't actually have any family left."

  "Aww, that's so sad...", said Fluttershy.

  "I got used to it."

  "How's the song going, Twilight?", asked Derpy.

  "Just a few more notes... I think I'll remember them later. It doesn't help that this cloud is too comfortable, and it keeps distracting me."

  "Well, guys, it was nice writing biographies here...", said Rainbow Dash. "... but I think we should be heading to the pyramid, shouldn't we?"

  "Rainbow's right.", said Trixie. "We must go, before Snips figures out what he's supposed to do."

  "Don't worry.", said Twilight. "I'm sure that, in the end, we will be the ones laughing."

  Heading out of the cave, Twilight was preparing to teleport back to Sunland, when Rainbow Dash interrupted her.

  "Could you wait just a few minutes?", said Rainbow Dash. "I gotta say goodbye to my number one fan."

  "Go ahead.", said Twilight.

  "Rainbow Dash!", said Scootaloo, flying over to their location. "Are you coming back soon?"

  "I don't know, Scootie.", said Rainbow Dash. "While I'm out, do you promise not to make any trouble?"

  "I promise you not!"

  "Haha, that's my girl. I promise I'll be back. I just don't know when... but I will be back."

  "I'll try not to get my cutie mark while you're gone."

  "Heh, why not?"

  "'Cause I want you to be here when the time comes!"

  "... I- I gotta go. Goodbye.", said Rainbow Dash, sharing a friendly hug.

  "That was so cute of you.", said Fluttershy, while the group was heading down to the city of Toto, looking for that sailor pony.

  "It was nothing.", said Rainbow Dash. "We're like, best friends, you know? She loves me more than her parents. Heck, I love her more than her parents."

  Twilight found the sailor dude, in the same place he was before. This time, he looked much happier, and he was chowing down on some Magic Cake.

  "Hey there.", said Twilight. "Is everything okay?"

  "Okay?!", said the sailor, spitting cake crumbs all over. "You made my wife wake up! She finally quit talking about all that serious crap... now our relationship is back on track, and she's returned to making Magic Cake once per month! I feel motivated!"

  "Is the sea-crossing business open?"

  "Heck yeah! Since you're such a heroine, I'll let you guys ride a boat for free!"

  "Why, thank you."

  "Where do you guys wanna go?"

  "To the deserted lands of Scaraba!", said Spike, with a heroic tone.

  "Well, hop in. You'll probably get to see the Kraken, and experience getting seasick. After all, it could only cost your life, and you got that for free. Luck will determine the outcome of this voyage."

  "We're a working team.", said Trixie. "The worst that could happen is... I don't know, somepony getting badly injured?"

  "But I don't wanna get badly injured!", said Derpy.

  "Well, me neither. But that's how it'll have to be."

  "I like your style.", said the sailor. "Now: set sail to Scaraba!"

  The burning sun didn't have that much effect on the group, now that they had water splashing all around them. Spike wasn't liking the trip very much, since he got seasick very easily. Eventually, the sailor had to stop the boat.

  "Why did you stop?", said Twilight.

  "It's been a long time since I was out in the open sea, so I'm feeling kind of seasick... how come you guys are feelin' alright?"

  "I sure am not.", said Spike. His face could easily be mistaken for a lime.

  "So... that blue pegasus over there... she came from Cloudsdale, right?"

  Rainbow Dash nodded.

  "Heheh! You guys must be quite the adventurers! Haha! I'm feeling much better now! Anchors aweigh!"

  The ride continued for a few minutes, before the sailor noticed something on the horizon.

  "... could it be?", said the sailor.

  "What's wrong?", said Twilight.

  "No... I knew it! GUYS! I GOT TERRIBLE NEWS!"

  "What happened?!", said Trixie.

  "It's... IT'S THE KRAKEN! THE KRAKEN IS HERE!"

  "Oh no!", said Derpy. "What are we gonna do?"

  The Kraken came out of the water, creating a huge wave of seawater around the group. Luckily, the boat was unmoved. It then let out a loud roar.

  "H... h... here it is!!!", said the sailor. "EVERYPONY FOR HIMSELF!!!"

I Think I'm Kraken Up

  "H... h... here it comes!!!", said the sailor. "EVERYPONY FOR HIMSELF!!!"

  The Kraken soon charged up some kind of powerful energy. Everypony was running around like little ants, trying to find somewhere to hide behind... except for Twilight Sparkle, who was wearing the Franklin Badge all that time. She stood up against the Kraken, while it charged his laser and pointed at Twilight's direction. Eventually, the Kraken released his Crashing Boom Bang attack, only for it to be reflected by the Franklin Badge and tossed right back at it, stunning the monster for a while. Trixie decided to join the fight, and cast an attacking spell on the Kraken, which recovered the Kraken's senses from all the damage it took. Rainbow Dash and Applejack went in and finished the job by kicking the Kraken's stomach and face, which made the monster give up and go back to where it came from.

  "Wow!", said the sailor. "I thought you were just everyday little kids... but you've defeated the Kraken!"

  "Ah'm sure it'd be nothin' without the help of these fellas.", said Applejack.

  "Did you guys see that?!", said Pinkie Pie. "The Kraken went RAWR, and then Twilight did some magical hijinkies and made the Kraken go ZAP, and then Trixie did more magical hijinkies and then Rainbow Dash went WOOSH and kicked its face and Applejack kicked it right in the pancreas!"

  "I also helped in the battle...", said the sailor. "... I threw my slippers at the beast... maybe you didn't notice."

  "I did.", said Fluttershy, coming out of her hiding spot. "I'm sure it helped a lot."

  "Don't bother trying to make me feel better... I already feel awesome! So... off to Scaraba then!"

  Arriving at Scaraba, the sun was burning hot again. It was no big deal for Rainbow Dash, since she lived high up in the sky, after all. Derpy couldn't stand it anymore, since the sun was giving her a wicked bad headache. While the group went asking for information, they found a wise-looking pony taking care of the market area.

  "Excuse me, mister.", said Twilight. "Do you know anything about the pyramid to the south?"

  "While I don't know anything interesting about it...", said the wise pony. "... I do want you to have this key to a tower south of here... wait... I don't have it anymore!"

  "Is it important?"

  "It must be... are you the chosen one?"

  "I think so..."

  "Then yes, it is extremely important. Don't worry, I just remembered that I gave it to a friend of mine. You may bump into him on the way."

  "Well, thank you."

  "I guess we have no choice but to head to the desert.", said Fluttershy.

  "I think we should buy some wet towels before we go.", said Derpy, with her brain hurting from the sun heat.

  "To enter the pyramid, we must solve the riddle of the sphinx.", said Rainbow Dash, as the group walked on the desert, searching for the entrance to the pyramid.

  "Do you know the answer?", asked Twilight.

  "Sure. It's not actually a riddle... it's more like a ritual, or something. Don't worry, I got this."

  "There's the sphinx over there!", said Derpy.

  The Sphinx had a strange pad in front of it. Rainbow Dash landed on it, and started stretching out.

  "Is that part of the ritual?", said Trixie.

  "No.", said Rainbow Dash. "I'm just getting ready."

  Rainbow Dash got up, but turned around to say something.

  "Alright...", said Rainbow Dash. "... this is a little embarrassing. I'd like you guys to turn around, okay?"

  The whole group turned around. Rainbow Dash started to do an odd, hilarious dance. Spike turned around just to see what was going on, and he tried hard not to laugh his butt off.

  "Don't look now.", said Rainbow Dash.

  "I ain't lookin'.", said Applejack.

  Fluttershy giggled quietly at Dash's dancing skills. When she was finished, the sphinx opened the door to the pyramid.

  "I hope I never have to do this again.", said Rainbow Dash.

  "Now that was fun to watch.", said Twilight, giggling along with the other ones in the group. Applejack was the only one not laughing, since she wasn't looking after all.

  "Alright, where's the Hawk Eye?", said Trixie.

  "I think it's exploring time!", said Pinkie Pie.

  "Hey, I found this weird casket on a pedestal.", said Derpy.

  "The Hawk Eye is underneath it.", said Rainbow Dash. "I can't quite remember how to open it, though."

  "Maybe there's a switch in one of the rooms!", said Spike.

  "Hey, look at that stone dude over there!", said Pinkie Pie. "He looks so funny!"

  "WHO DARES ENTER MY LAIR?!", said the stone guy. "YOU MUST DIE!"

  "Oh snap, I forgot about that guy...", said Rainbow Dash. "... let me take care of him."

  Rainbow Dash went over to the stone guy and punched him in the face.

  "YOU ARE QUITE STRONG.", said the stone guy. "I WILL LET YOU PASS... THIS TIME."

  He then went away.

  "That was pretty stupid, in my opinion.", said Trixie.

  "I think AG is having a lazy day or something.", said Pinkie Pie.

  "Pinkie Pie, who the heck is AG?", said Twilight. "You keep talking about him all the time!"

  "You wouldn't understand, Twilight. Trust me."

  "Hey, what's this button do?", said Derpy, finding a cool-looking button on a wall.

  "Don't touch that button!", said Rainbow Dash.

  "Why not?"

  "... actually... go ahead, push it."

  "I'm not getting tricked again."

  "It opens the casket back in the pedestal room. Just push it."

  "Okie-dokie."

  Derpy pushed the button, and a strange noise was heard. The group went back to the pedestal room, to find a hole replacing the casket on it. The group jumped down, to find a really shiny thing on top of another pedestal.

  "There it is!", said Rainbow Dash. "The Hawk Eye! Now we can see through the depths of the Everfree Forest!"

  "Shall we be goin' then?", said Applejack.

  "... I just figured something out.", said Fluttershy. "... Twilight, have you ever been in the Everfree Forest?"

  "No...", said Twilight. "... but I've been in Ponyville, so we could just go there and have you show us the way to the forest."

  "Well... actually, I've never been in the Everfree Forest either. At least not the other part of it. You see, the Everfree Forest is the widest forest in Equestria. It even reaches over to other cities or countries. I never bothered to explore all of it, because... you know, I'm too scared to go beyond the hydra's lake."

  "In other words, we'll have to do this the hard way."

  "... yeah." Fluttershy couldn't hold an innocent smile.

  "*sigh* Why is it so hard to get mad at you?"

  "At least we're close to it.", said Rainbow Dash, as the group exited the pyramid, and an old, familiar pegasus swooped down from the sky.

  "Rainbow Dash!", said the old pegasus. "I heard you completed your Mu Training yesterday. Congratulations."

  "Thanks..."

  "Well... I got good or bad news. It depends on how your friends will accept it."

  "Go ahead."

  "My masters told me that it was time for me to teach you everything you should know about Discord. You'll have to live with me for a while, and say goodbye to your friends."

  "Well... I don't know..."

  "There is only one answer. I must stop you here, even if you don't want to."

  "*sigh* Okay... let me just say goodbye to my friends."

  Rainbow Dash turned to Twilight and the group.

  "I'm sorry, Twilight, but... I'll have to leave you guys for a while. This is really important to me."

  "No problem, Rainbow Dash.", said Twilight. "You'll be back, right?"

  "I'll catch up to you guys as soon as I'm done. Don't worry... you won't even notice that I'm gone."

  "Goodbye, Rainbow Dash.", said Derpy. "Tell us what you learned when you come back!"

  Rainbow Dash and the old pegasus flew away.

  Now that Rainbow Dash wasn't there, the group had to search for a way to enter the Everfree Forest. Eventually, Twilight found some kind of mini-market next to an oasis.

  "Excuse me...", said Twilight. "... do you know how to get to the Everfree Forest?"

  "Everfree Forest?", said the market owner. "Well, I'm not quite sure... but I think you'll want to check out that cool-looking tower over there. Here's the key to it."

  "Um... okay. Thanks for that."

  "So, does he know anything?", asked Fluttershy.

  "No... but he gave me this key to that tower over there."

  "I think I've seen that tower before...", said Derpy.

  When the group came closer to the tower, it seemed to move a little.

  "Did that tower just move?", said Derpy.

  "Don't be silly.", said Twilight. "Towers can't move."

  "It's staring into my soul!"

  "Hey, I know you...", said the tower, in a deep, menacing voice. "... we met at my dungeon in Ice Cube Land!"

  "... Yellowbrick? Is that you?!"

  "Yes! I'm the Dungeon Horse! My dream came true! Get inside me and see for yourself!"

  "God, that sounds wrong.", said Spike.

  "What's wrong with it?", asked Derpy.

  "Nothing, nothing."

  "You look so... confusing!", said Derpy, as the group got inside the dungeon. They saw dozens of corridors leading to different places.

  "Yes, I'm quite proud of it.", said the Dungeon Horse.

  "The music is good too.", said Fluttershy. "Reminds me of the Beatles, in some way."

  "Yeah, I was inspired by them. The song is totally mine, though."

  "Which path should we take?", asked Twilight.

  "I would tell you where to go... but that would ruin the fun of crossing the dungeon and making it to the end."

  "Whee! We're playing a maze game!", said Pinkie Pie. "It's not that maze game, is it?"

  "Well, it sounds like fun...", said Derpy.

  "Hey, I found something!", said Spike. "It's... five bits."

  "The easiest prizes are always the most disappointing ones.", said the Dungeon Horse.

  "I see four ropes.", said Derpy. "Which one is the right one?"

  "Eenie minie mo...", said Pinkie Pie. "nah nah nah nah nah nah THIRD ONE!"

  "Third one it is!", said Applejack, being the first to climb the third rope.

  Second floor.

  "Hey, look what I found!", said Derpy. "A teddy bear!"

  "What kind of pony forgets a teddy bear in the middle of a live dungeon?", said Fluttershy.

  "Who cares? It's so fluffy!"

  "That was my teddy bear when I was still a little kid.", said the Dungeon Horse. "Please don't take him away."

  "I'll just hug him for a while..."

  "Okay... don't forget to leave it here when you get out. Oh, and watch out: there are lots of monsters in the third floor."

  "Nothing we can't handle.", said Spike.

  Third floor.

  "I don't see any monsters around...", said Twilight.

  "Well, duh.", said Pinkie Pie. "There they are, in those cagey things around the place."

  "I did say it had a lot of monsters.", said the Dungeon Horse. "Welcome to my personal zoo! I got Mad Ducks, Gruff Goats, Slimy Little Piles, and others!"

  "Hehe, they can't do anything to us now.", said Spike, taunting a Slimy Little Pile. "I feel so superior."

  "Well, would you look at that?", said Derpy. "Those Gruff Goats caused me so much trouble when I was a filly. I remember this one time when I was going to Ol' Pete's place, and one of those nuisances came in and kicked me in the back. Hehe... I cried my heart out while Pete came to save me, and he took me to my parents, and I had to stay home for a whole week."

  "That must've been really painful.", said Fluttershy.

  Fourth floor.

  "Well done!", said the Dungeon Horse, who will now be referred to as Yellowbrick. "You got through my super-awesome and confusing dungeon!"

  "Hey there, Yellowbrick!", said Derpy. "I didn't know it would be physically possible... haha! Now you're a horse and a dungeon at the same time!"

  "Not only that, but I can move this tower too! Do you want me to come with you on your adventure?"

  "That would be awesome!", said Pinkie Pie. "We'll go through the desert with a live dungeon by our side! How wacky does that sound?"

  "Well, Yellowbrick...", said Twilight. "... I think we'll have to accept your offer. But, we gotta find a way out of here first."

  "Oh, just use the Return Hole over there.", said Yellowbrick, turning a light above the Return Hole. "Jump in that hole and then walk out."

  "But it's so... high.", said Fluttershy, peeking down the Return Hole.

  "Just flutter your way down.", said Derpy. "It's not that high anyway."

  Back outside, the Dungeon Horse got up from his resting spot and started following the group... didn't last long though, because the Dungeon Horse got stuck in the palmtrees.

  "Guargh!", said the Dungeon Horse. "I... am... getting caught in the palmtrees! Mmm... I cannot move!"

  "Well, that was fast.", said Spike. "We got a new ally, and then lost him a few minutes later."

  "... dang it. Derpy, it makes me sad... but I must say goodbye here, at my eternal resting place."

  The Dungeon Horse then sat down, unable to get out of the palmtrees. Derpy felt bad for leaving him there, but she knew that nothing could be done about it. It was pretty stupid though...

  "Well, how are we gonna cross the river?", asked Twilight. A long, menacing river was the only thing between the group of worldsavers and the darkest region of the Everfree Forest.

  "A scary place called the Everfree Forest is on the other side of the river.", said an eavesdropping native pony. "You can lose your health just by wandering in the swamp. Do you want to cross it, even though it's a stupid idea?"

  "Where did you come from, anyway?", said Twilight.

  "Doesn't matter. Do you want to cross the river?"

  "Well, yeah. We kind of have to go there, you know."

  It was worth noticing that Fluttershy was shivering in fear from the threatening look of the swamp.

  "The swamp is bottomless. Even if you're swimming, you'll be dragged in."

  "It's not helping at all.", said an annoyed Fluttershy.

  "It is a different story if you have a submarine."

  "A submarine?!", said the Dungeon Horse, overhearing the whole conversation. "I believe that I have one in my old vehicle collection."

  "Why, thank you, Yellowbrick!", said Derpy.

  The group then crossed the whole dungeon again, to meet Yellowbrick at the fourth floor.

  "There's an old submarine in the back of the dungeon.", said Yellowbrick. "It can be used to cross the river."

  "How do we have access to it?", asked Trixie.

  "There's a Goodbye Exit... over there."

  Yellowbrick turned on a light, above another exit, beside the Return Hole.

  "It will take you to the submarine.", said Yellowbrick.

  "Thank you, Yellowbrick!", said Derpy. "Goodbye. I hope I can see you again!"

  "Same here, Derpy. Now go! Equestria is waiting for you!"

  The group jumped down the Goodbye Exit, to land on Yellowbrick's old vehicle collection.

  "Wow...", said Pinkie Pie. "... this stuff looks so funny! That one looks like a tin can on four wheels!"

  "There's the submarine over there.", said Spike. "It's all yellow... why must they force me to say these kind of things?!"

  "It's okay, Spike.", laughed Twilight. "We all get the joke! Does the submarine still work?"

  "Leave it to me!", said Derpy. "I got a B on my Advanced Engineering test!"

  Derpy entered the submarine, and started messing with the control panels. She didn't even look like she knew what to do. They couldn't argue with it, though: no one in the group has had any teaching on that kind of stuff. Derpy then remembered a very useful thing she learned in action movies.

  "What's she doin' over there anyway?", asked Applejack (holy geez, I totally forgot she was there...).

  "Eureka!", exclaimed Derpy. "I fixed it!"

  "Good!", said Twilight. "Now, we should carry this thing all the way outside..."

  Everyone sighed in frustration.

  "Goodbye, Derpy!", said the Dungeon Horse, as the group entered the submarine.

  "Bye-bye!", said Derpy. "See you in another time, in another space!"

  "Actually, it'll be the same space, because... you know."

  "Oh yeah... tee-hee! See you later then!"

  "Everyone ready?", said Twilight.

  "Might as well...", said Fluttershy, expecting the worst to happen.

  "Fluttershy, if destiny wants Equestria to be saved...", said Derpy. "... nothing will happen to us."

  "How about we sing a song?", said Pinkie Pie. "That'll cheer you up!"

  "Okay...", said Fluttershy.

In the town where I was born...

Shy Guys

  "... yellow submarine!", sang Pinkie Pie, putting an end to the epic musical session that lasted through the entire ride. That was somethin' to see, I tell ya.

  "We're here!", said Derpy, as the group arrived at the Everfree Forest. The awful smell of swamp waters and stinky flowers surrounded the area. Spike was cool with it, but the others weren't, obviously.

  "Ugh!", exclaimed Trixie, covering her nostrils. "This is unbearable!"

  "I agree with you, Trixie...", said Twilight. "... but we can't worry about this stuff when Equestria is nearing doomsday. Come on, let's go."

  While the group walked through the swamp (and eventually finding out that the deep water is really dangerous), they saw something they thought they'd never see again... it wasn't a good thing, oh no. It was the ripest, slimiest, stinkiest, barfiest thing they had ever seen...

  "Who the diddly squat is that mucky ol' fella?!", said Applejack, having never seen Master Belch before.

  "It's YOU again!", said Spike.

  "I thought you had forgotten about me...", said Master Barf, before letting out a loud, talented belch. "I'm the return of Belch!"

  "Oh great... it's Master Belch.", said Pinkie Pie. "What disgusting thing are you up to today?"

  "I've fought you before. Peeeeyouuu! Don't you remember my ripe odor?"

  "More than I wish I could...", said Spike, with a vengeful tone. "... and we don't have any fly honey!"

  "Belch has trained more and has returned much stronger!... *buuuurp!* Belch has also changed his name to Barf! Barf! Vomit! Barf, barf! Chuck! Chuck! Drown to death in puke! Don't you think that's an incredibly masculine taunt to throw at you?"

  "Bring it on, shithead!"

  "Twi'light...", said Applejack. "... is Spike gunna beat up that slimy critter all bah himself?"

  "He's done it once.", said Twilight. "I'm sure he can do it again."

  As Twilight finished her sentence, Spike ran away to her direction, covered in... a disgusting fluid. He tried his best not to look defeated, but he was just too grossed out to care.

  "Spike? What happened?!", said Twilight. "I thought you were much stronger than him!"

  "He's just too disgusting! Not even I can stand it!"

  "Is this how we're gunna end?", said Applejack. Master Barf was way too gross, even for her. "What a horrible way to die, ah'll tell ya."

  Suddenly, the group felt something above their heads. Master Barf noticed it too, before getting surrounded by a rainbow-colored hurricane, and having himself splitted into endless pieces of vomit and organs, spraying all over the place.

  "Whew, that was... intense.", said Rainbow Dash, finishing her brand new hurricane attack. "Are you guys alright?"

  Rainbow Dash noticed that her friends were practically covered in puke. Trixie had fainted quite some time ago, and Spike was wondering if the vomit all over him was his or not.

  "Wow... you guys sure need a shower."

  "Well, thanks for coming back, Rainbow.", said Twilight, diving in the shallow water to wash up.

  "That was awesome, Dashie!", cheered Pinkie Pie, while the others washed up. "The way you shredded him into pieces was worthy of an action movie!"

  "You're welcome.", said Rainbow Dash. "Oh, Fluttershy, did something hurt you?"

  "No... I'm fine, thanks for asking.", said Fluttershy, coming out of the water, having removed all the puke from her body.

  "Heh, your mane looks so funny!", said Derpy, seeing Pinkie Pie with a straight mane, seconds before it popped back to its normal style. "That's awesome!"

  "Ugh...", said Trixie. "... my mane is all wet now."

  "At least we ain't dead.", said Applejack. "Thanks a lot, Rainbow."

  "... wha, oh! You're welcome, Jack.", said Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy looked cuter with her mane wet.

  "Hey, Twilight!", said Spike. "There's a cave right over there!"

  "It's the Tenda Village!", said Fluttershy. "I've heard about it when I was at the library... there was a book that explained about various different species around Equestria. They're very friendly, according to what I've read."

  "Well, finally some civilization for a change.", said Twilight.

  At the Tenda Village, everypony was amazed at what they saw. The Tendas looked like normal ponies, except tinier, greener and overall cuter. They were also very silent, since they couldn't hear a single word coming from their mouths.

  "Awww, aren't they just adorable?", said Pinkie Pie. "Look at them!"

  "The book also said that they're not much into social interaction.", said Fluttershy. "Try not to scare them off..."

  "Well hey there, little guy!", said Spike to one of the Tendas.

  "... hello.", said the Tenda.

  "Hey!", said a voice coming from a small distance. Spike looked up to see a white little unicorn with a curly, light-purple mane. She didn't look as shy as the Tenda tribe. "You guys are tourists?"

  "Not exactly.", said Twilight, as the unicorn filly skipped in their direction.

  "I'm Sweetie Belle. Nice to meet you!"

  "Sweetie Belle!", called another voice in a slightly larger distance. "What did I tell you about strangers?"

  "No, Rarity, they're friends! Come see them!"

  "You better head back right now!", said Rarity, as she went to "rescue" her younger sister, before recognizing Twilight's face. "Oh, aren't you Twilight Sparkle?"

  "Yes.", said Twilight Sparkle. "Am I really that famous?"

  "Well, you're the one who will be saving Equestria, dear. Of course you're famous!"

  "Um... I'm looking for--"

  "--a special place, right? You're in luck! There's a wonderful place under that rock, over there!"

  "Well, that's great... but isn't it way too heavy?"

  The rock in question was huge, and looked way too heavy to be lifted by twenty ponies, let alone eight of them.

  "There's one Tenda here that has enough power to lift that rock.", said Rarity. "But he's too shy to demonstrate his talent..."

  "Sorry for going out of the question here...", said Twilight. "... but why are you living with these Tendas anyway?"

  "Oh, I'm just staying here to find some gems and take them to my boutique back in Ponyville. Fluttershy, your dress is almost done, don't worry about it."

  "Oh, I'm not...", said Fluttershy.

  "Oh, how silly of me! You came from the Everfree Forest, didn't you?"

  "Yes...", said Trixie, traumatized by the whole "drown in puke" thing.

  "Please be my guests. You must be pretty tired."

  "We don't want to be any worry...", said Twilight.

  "Oh, no, I'm fine with it. Feel free to sleep here as well... you need a place after all, right?"

  "... I guess so. Okay then!"

  "Good. Sweetie Belle, we've got special guests tonight!"

  While Rarity ran back home, Twilight noticed hearts on Spike's eyes. Looked like Octavia wasn't a big deal now.

  ...

  "I'll have to join you too?", said Rarity, feeling honored from the opportunity to have a place in saving Equestria.

  "According to Talah Rama...", said Derpy. "... you are the only one left."

  "Wait a minute...", said Spike, finally snapping out of his trance. "... weren't there nine ponies?"

  "Maybe they got their numbers wrong.", said Twilight. "I don't know anypony else..."

  "Well, I'm sure we'll know the answer soon.", said Pinkie Pie, always optimistic.

  "Rainbow Dash, what happened?", asked Trixie to RD. "You look nervous about something."

  "Oh?", said Rainbow Dash, staring at the yellow pegasus next to her. "... it's nothing."

  "Are you sure?", asked Fluttershy.

  Rainbow Dash blushed slightly. "I need to talk to you for a few minutes..."

  "Just you two?", asked Rarity. "Just go to my bedroom. Nopony's there."

  While the two pegasii walked to the room, Rainbow Dash spotted Pinkie Pie winking at her, jokingly. She responded with a smile.

  "So...", said Fluttershy. "... what is it?"

  "Well...", sighed Rainbow Dash. "... I've been wanting to tell you something."

  "Okay... all ears."

  "It's been quite some time... while I was up there, living with that old pegasus, I often caught myself thinking about you. Ever since I first saw you, I found you to be the prettiest creature in the world."

  "... well, thank you. I'm flattered to hear that."

  "I just want to say that I love you. Very much. Will you please stay with me?"

  Fluttershy couldn't say a thing.

  "Please don't hate me for this! I... I just can't help it!"

  "... don't worry. I don't hate you... in fact, I think I'll give you a chance."

  "REALLY?!"

  "Might as well... right?"

  Rainbow Dash kissed and hugged Fluttershy with all of her emotion. Suddenly, she heard some romantic music in the background.

  "Do you hear that?", said Rainbow Dash.

  "Yes...", said Fluttershy. "... wanna dance?"

  "I'd love to."

  "Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?", asked Trixie. Pinkie Pie was outside the room, playing some romantic music.

  "Oh!", said Pinkie Pie. "I just wanted to hear some music. I'm in the mood for this kinda stuff, y'know."

  "Ah didn't know ya had such an electric taste!", said Applejack. "Heh, ah'm quite surprised."

  "Eclectic.", said Twilight.

  "Say that 'gain?"

  "You said she had an electric taste. The correct term is 'eclectic'."

  "'Zat even a word?"

  "Nevermind. So, Rarity, where can we find that book?"

  "'Overcoming Shyness'?", said Rarity. "I found it at the library in Ponyville. Quite a masterpiece, if I do say so myself. However, the book is actually in the hooves of a girl called Peppermint Twist. She didn't return it yet."

  "I know her! This will be easier than I thought!"

  Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. It sounded fast-paced and desperate.

  "Who's there?", asked Rarity. No sound was heard. Just another knock, this time even faster. Sweetie Belle opened the door to find Photo-Finish (taking pictures everywhere, as usual) and Angel Bunny, who zoomed in Twilight's direction.

  "Angel?", said Twilight. "What are you doing here?"

  "Angel?!", said Fluttershy, before flying out of the room, with Rainbow Dash behind her. "I missed you so much!"

No time for greetings, ma'am!, "said" Angel. Something AWFUL has happened!

  "What is it, boy?", said Applejack.

  "Back there at Dr. Peanuts' lab, we found out that he was missing! And then, when I double-checked the room, I noticed Twist was gone too! I saw her getting kidnapped by a star-shaped weirdo, that kept saying something about some Discord dude. But that doesn't matter! Twist is gone!

  "Twist is gone?!", said Twilight. "How are we going to get that book?!"

  "Forget that dumb book!", said Derpy. "My father is gone!"

  "Wait, didja say somethin' 'bout a star-shaped weirdo?", said Applejack. "Ah've seen 'em before, destroyin' our crops and kidnappin' our ponyfolk! Ah followed 'em all the way to where they came from, and ah ended up at the Stonehenge in Ice Cube Land. Ah tried followin' them a little further, but there was some kind of eraser-like statue on the way. Ah couldn't get past it, so ah just gave up and tipped mah hat to the ponyfolk who couldn't make it outta there."

Oh yeah, I forgot. Here, this should take care of your problem.

  Angel pulled out a weird-looking gadget from Photo's saddlebag. It looked similar to the Pencil Eraser.

  "Thank you, Angel!", said Twilight. "Let's save some ponyfolk!"

  Twilight teleported the whole group to the Ice Cube Land.

  Arriving at Dr. Peanuts's lab, the group saw a nerdy-looking pegasus at a short distance. He noticed Derpy and ran up to their direction.

  "Derpy!", said Maxwell. "Thank goodness you're here!"

  "What happened?!", asked Derpy. "... wait... is Timmy okay?"

  "Unfortunately... no. He got kidnapped too."

  "Oh no! Not Timmy! Anypony but him!"

  "Hey, we didn't bring Rarity along.", said Twilight.

  "She said she would get herself ready before she joined us.", said Trixie. "We'll get her on the way back."

  "Okay then. Now, Applejack, do you know where that place was?"

  "... can't remember.", said Applejack.

  "Applejack, please! Those ponies depend on us!", said Derpy. "Timmy depends on us! MY FATHER depends on us!!!"

  Applejack didn't want to cause anyone's misfortune. She tried her best, but still couldn't remember a thing. Suddenly, she had an excellent idea.

  "To the Stonehenge!", exclaimed Applejack.

  At the Stonehenge, the ponies saw a hole in the middle, leading to a strange place. Applejack nodded, indicating that it was their destination. As the ponies proceeded, they saw an eraser-shaped statue. Twilight used the Eraser Eraser, and Applejack led the way. The ponyfolk were depending on them. Rainbow Dash flew as fast as she could, but got surprised when Derpy flew even faster. Those aliens were going to pay for what they did to her family. Applejack had the same revenge in her eyes. Arriving at the base, they were surprised by what they saw: dozens of ponies were being held in capsules. Some of them were sleeping, and others kept bashing on the glass at the sight of the group.

  "Father!", exclaimed Derpy, crying her poor little heart out. "Don't worry, I'll save you!"

  "Big Macintosh! Granny Smith! Apple Bloom!", exclaimed Applejack.

  "TIMMY!!!"

  "Is he your boyfriend?", asked Pinkie Pie.

  "Why... yes he is. Poor guy..."

  "What's all this racket?", said a robotic voice coming through the door.

  "You!", exclaimed Applejack. "Are you responsible for this?!"

  "Twilight Sparkle. *whirrr* I heard about you." The voice revealed itself. It was a strange, star-shaped man figure.

  "Hey! Answer me!"

  "You are much stronger *whirrr* than our intelligence indicated. We were not *beep* prepared for that eventuality."

  "Aww, dagnabbit."

  "The prophecy from the *click* Apple of Enlightenment may be true... but you must not *whirrr* underestimate us."

  The Starman attacked Twilight, only to get bucked in the head by Applejack.

  "Ah'm the one that's got business with you.", said Applejack, while the Starman got back up, to get flying-kicked in the back by Derpy Hooves.

  "Yeah!", cheered Pinkie Pie. "Kick him in the pancreas!"

  "Starstorm.", said the Starman, while charging up a very threatening energy ball. Before he could do anything, though, he received a bottle rocket to his chest and exploded.

  When the Starman got destroyed, all the lights went off, and all the capsules were broken.

  "Applejack!", exclaimed Apple Bloom, hugging her big sister. "Thanks!"

  "You guys alright?", asked Applejack.

  "Eeyup.", said Big Macintosh.

  "Thank you so much, grandsweetie.", said Granny Smith.

  "TIMMY!", exclaimed Derpy, kissing her boyfriend and then realizing her father was there in front of them. "Father! You're okay too!"

  "Derpy, I missed you so much!", said Dr. Peanuts. "Those aliens broke into my lab and trapped me inside that capsule for no apparent reason. How insulting."

  Derpy hugged her small, but nice family. Everypony was okay.

  "Hey, Twilight.", said Twist. "Thanks for being here. I expected there to be a 7% chance that you would rescue me."

  "You're welcome, Twist.", said Twilight. "I'm looking for a book called 'Overcoming Shyness'. Do you have it?"

  "Oh, I returned it to the library. Quite a masterpiece, if I do say so myself."

  "Oh, that's okay. Guys, we're going to the library."

  "Are you going to help the shy Tenda tribe with it?"

  "Yes. How'd you know?"

  "I heard about them, and feel bad for them. I'm glad you'll be there to help."

  "Okay, everypony. We're teleporting back to Ponyville."

  Along with all the other victims, Twilight teleported the group back to Ponyville.

  Before returning to the library, Applejack said goodbye to her family before they returned to the Sweet Apple Acres. At the library, they found a pink-coated, light purple-maned filly at the counter. Her name was Diamond Tiara.

  "How can I help you?", asked Diamond Tiara.

  "Can I get 'Overcoming Shyness'?", asked Twilight.

  "Okay."

  "... where is it?"

  "I don't know. When Twist returned it, I just stuck it wherever it would fit."

  "Is that how you deal with these books?", said Twist. "They're important information, you know!"

  Diamond Tiara raised her hooves, sarcastically. "Ooo, I'm sorry for not doing things the same way as you. Maybe one of the ponies here knows where it is."

  "Ugh... fine."

  "Rather disrespectful, if I do say so myself.", whispered Dr. Peanuts to himself.

  Twilight poked one of the ponies' shoulder, to get his attention. He turned around, with a rather surprised look. His name was Pipsqueak.

  "Um... yes?", said Pipsqueak.

  "Excuse me...", said Twilight. "... do you happen to know where 'Overcoming Shyness' is?"

  "Oh, it's in the bookcase on the left. I tried finding it, but everything's so messed up that I just took a random magazine from the counter and started reading it. It's called the Midnight Star, and it says a lot of interesting stuff."

  "Um... okay. You guys wait here, while I try to find it."

  Twilight went to the bookcases with a determined look in her eyes.

  "So... what kind of stuff is in that magazine?", asked Derpy.

  "Well...", said Pipsqueak. "... did you know that Hitler's brain is being kept alive inside a jar?"

  "I've heard of that magazine.", said Spike. "I never saw that many lies contained in such few pieces of paper."

  "Well, with the current technology available to the first-world countries in Equestria...", said Dr. Peanuts. "... it's actually possible to preserve the equine brain's life by keeping it inside a jar full of a special, pony-made fluid called--"

  "Enough with all the optimism. Hitler blew his brains out. There's no way this fact could be true."

  "Found it!", said Twilight. "It was a really difficult task, but I have found the 'Overcoming Shyness' book!"

  "Twilight, before we go back to the Tenda Village...", said Derpy. "... you should teleport us back to Winters, so these guys can work on the Phase Distorter."

  "Okay."

  Twilight teleported the whole group back to the laboratory in Ice Cube Land.

  "Goodbye, daddy.", said Derpy. "I'll be back soon."

  "No hurry, sweetie.", said Dr. Peanuts. "Just kick butt like I know you can!"

  "I will. Trust me."

  "Goodbye, honey.", said Timmy, finally being able to say something after quite a long trance.

  "Goodbye, dear.", said Derpy, kissing her boyfriend again.

  "Goodbye, Twilight.", said Twist, with a proud look in her eyes. "The Phase Distorter will get done much faster now."

  "Good luck.", said Twilight. "I guess we should be going then."

  Twilight teleported the group back to the Tenda Village, after quite a long adventure just to find that stupid book. It was worth it anyway. It was a masterpiece, after all.

A Penny for Your Thoughts

  "... book! Can fix shyness!", said the Tenda chief, as Twilight gave the "Overcoming Shyness" book to him, back at the Tenda Village. "Thanks."

  "You're welcome.", said Twilight.

  "I'll read to everyone... just holding it in my hooves makes me feel like I'm overcoming my shyness already! I'll take the time to read it to everyone."

  And then, the chief read the "Overcoming Shyness" book to the whole Tenda tribe.

  After that long reading session, they could hear dozens of words coming from the Tenda's mouths. Fluttershy learned a lot as well. Now the Tendas weren't shy anymore, that huge rock blocking the way to the sanctuary could be removed. Twilight skipped joyfully to Rarity's house.

  "Rarity?", called Twilight. "Are you there?"

  "Come in, dear.", said Rarity. "I'm almost done."

  "Rarity, you don't need to bring anything. Just come with us and you'll be fine."

  "Trust me on this one."

  Rarity came out of the kitchen, with a plate full of some gross-looking food. It had a horrible smell too.

  "What's... that[/], may I ask?", said Twilight.

"It's tendakraut.". said Rarity. "It's a special dish, the Tenda's favorite. It stinks, but it tastes wonderful."

"O... kay then. Are you done?"

"Yes. It was a tad difficult to convince Sweetie Belle to let me go. That's how kids are, you know."

"Yes, I know. Let's go then. Where's that strong Tenda you mentioned before?"

"Just follow me."

The group arrived at the huge rock, to find a determined-looking Tenda next to it.

"Really?", said Rainbow Dash. "That* puny little thing can lift a rock twenty times its size?"*

"Quite unbelievable, I know.", said Rarity. "Can you show them, little guy?"

"Powerful... I...", said the Tenda. "... so... show everyone!"

The Tenda started lifting the heavy rock, with quite some struggle. The group couldn't find words to describe how unbelievable that was. After a quick thank-you from Rarity, the ponies went beyond the rock's location, to find a short cave leading to the most beautiful place they have ever seen. The walls were coated with some strange, shiny substance that made them sparkle quite graciously.

"Quite a sight, isn't it?", said Rarity, letting out a tear of extreme appreciation. "Oh, I forgot to tell you something: what makes this place so unique is the fact that it can reveal our thoughts through the walls."

"Hear that, Dashie?", joked Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy giggled innocently.

"Cool!", said Derpy. "I'm thinking of something orange!"

Spike noticed an orange in one of the walls. "It's an orange.", said him.

"Correct! Now, now... I'm thinking of something blue!"

"Hey, Trixie.", said Rainbow Dash. "Don't think about red monkeys!"

"I'm not.", said Trixie. "Wait... darn it!"

"Haha, there's a red monkey over there!"

"D'you guys hear that?", said Applejack, while some strange (but familiar) music played echoed through the walls.

"It's Twilight's song.", said Fluttershy.

"Okay... I didn't quite catch that last part.", said Twilight, *slightly frustrated. "Only one more note to go."*

"Don't you think we'd be fine if we just left it alone?", said Spike. "I mean, it's just one note..."

"Well, Spike...", said Pinkie Pie. "... take the L out of liver."

"... iver.", said Spike. "What sense did that make?"

"None! Y'see, one letter is what it takes to turn a perfectly normal word into a pile of babbling nonsense!"

"Oh, I get it... where's that last sanctuary then?"

"Right down there.", said Rarity, pointing to a hole at the other end of the hall.

"Down this hole?", said Twilight. "Is it that near?"

"We're gonna have to walk quite a distance..."

"Who's first?", said Rainbow Dash.

"Whee!", exclaimed Pinkie Pie, jumping down the hole in a cartoonish way.

As the last pony jumped down the hole (that would be Fluttershy), the group instantly noticed that everything was five times its normal size. They could also hear what sounded like dinosaurs in the distance.

"Where *is this place?", said Twilight, surprised.*

"I've heard about this place in one of those old mythology books.", said Derpy. "It's the Lost Underworld... the place where all mythological creatures came from. Dinosaurs, manticores, hydras, dragons... they have everything here."

"Sounds cool.", said Rainbow Dash.

"Sounds scary.", said Fluttershy.

"HEY!", said a voice in the distance. "You guys! Get outta there before you get eaten!"

"Who said that?", asked Twilight.

"I did!"

The group spotted a rather small village next to them, with Tendas living in it. They went in as soon as they heard a dragon's roar behind them.

"Why would anyone with its right mind hang around in the monster cage?", said the Tenda at the door. "You guys could get eaten in a matter of seconds!"

"Monster cage?", said Twilight. "I thought *this was the cage."*

"Nah, we just need a lot of space for the monsters to move around, to keep them distracted."

The Tenda stopped talking when he saw Rarity.

"Hey, aren't you Tom's wife?", asked the Tenda.

"I thought we agreed to never speak of that again.", said Rarity.

"Who's Tom?", asked Spike, a little desperate.

"Come here... I'll introduce him to you."

At a small cottage next to the convenience store, lied a gentle-looking rock in the middle of the room.

"This... is Tom.", said Rarity, hanging her head in shame.

"Greetings, fellas.", said Tom, the talking rock with a British accent.

Rainbow Dash couldn't hold it. She instantly burst into laughter, along with Pinkie, Applejack and Trixie. Twilight and Fluttershy giggled (not so innocently). Derpy and Spike let out a single "heh". Rarity just felt worse.

"I was brainwashed, okay?", said Rarity.

"Twilight Sparkle.", said Tom. "You finally came here."

"What, I'm well-known between rocks too?", said Twilight.

"Listen... I'm going to tell you something really important. You may want to take notes. Ready?"

"Ugh... not this again...", said Rarity. "Do you guys want a snack?"

"You're the chosen one. Your destiny is not only yours... it's the destiny of the whole universe. There will be a time in which all of you in the universe will overlap each other. It's not necessary to understand now. Do you remember the Giant Step in Canterlot? That is one of your sanctuaries. It is a spot which gives you power and allows you to realize all your skills. You must reach all of the eight power spots in the world... when you get the melodies of all eight power spots, you can finally see your world. I'll tell you all of the power spots: Giant Step, in Canterlot; Lilliput Steps, in the Peaceful Rest Valley near Ponyville; the Milky Well, in Grapefruit Falls at the Pinkie Valley; the Rainy Circle, found by Derpy in Ice Cube Land; the Magnet Hill, at the edge of the city of Manehattan; the Pink Cloud, which Rainbow Dash knows, and... the Lumine Hall, where the shining lichen lives in the cave."

"I already knew all that...", whispered Twilight to herself.

"A new place is now going to be opened up for you: the Fire Spring, located southwest of here. Listen to the melodies of all eight power spots. If you do not fail, you may upset Discord's plans... understand?"

"Yes..."

"The time will come. The time when the destiny of you and the whole universe will overlap... it is fast approaching."

"Are you done?", said Rarity.

"Yep.", said Tom. "Now, go. Save the world."

"This sandwich is delicious!", said Spike. "What's in here, anyway?"

"Cheese.", said Rarity. "Now, let's brave through the monster cage, shall we?"

"*sigh* Might as well...", said Fluttershy.

"I'll protect you.", said Rainbow Dash.

"We're talking about carnivore dragons and dinosaurs."

"No worries."

"Hey, is that tendakraut I smell?", said a Tenda coming through the door.

"Yeah, I made it myself.", said Rarity. "You can have it."

"Such a unique smell... it's the scent of godly food!"

"It stinks.", said Derpy.

And so, the ponies braved through the monster cage, keeping their head in the stars all the way through. Dinosaurs tried to kill the ponies. They failed, as they were smite to the ground. Dragons tried to eat the ponies. They failed, as they were striken down to the ground. Manticores tried to destroy the ponies. Hahahaha... they failed! As they were thrown to the ground! Hydras tried to defile the ponies... but the hydras were proven wrong!

Eventually, the ponies reached a cave, away from all the monsters. In it, they couldn't see anything noteworthy... but it sure looked scary. Anyway... they eventually found the Fire Spring, in another cave. It was a really firey place, with lava all over.

"This place looks like hell.", commented Rainbow Dash. "Are you sure it's a sanctuary?"

"Don't question it.", said Twilight. "Looks like a nice place, actually."

"This place is so cool!", said Spike. "Not 'cause it looks like hell... it just... looks cool."

"Well... we made it.", said Twilight. "All eight sanctuaries... what do we do now?"

"Did you catch the whole song?", asked Trixie.

"Yeah... I memorized it."

"Should we just stay here and wait until something happens?", asked Rarity.

"Ah don't think anything's gunna happen if we just stay here.", said Applejack.

"I don't know about you guys...", said Twilight. "... but I'm feeling really sleepy now... let's just stay here."

Twilight then fell to the floor, sleeping like a rock.

"I don't feel sleepy.", said Derpy.

"Well, bedtime'll have to wait.", said Applejack. "Let's get outta here. Twi'light, wake up."

Applejack poked Twilight's belly, trying to wake her up. Didn't work.

"C'mon, Twi'. We don't have all day."

Pinkie Pie rolled Twilight over. Didn't work either.

"Maybe she's in a really deep sleep.", said Pinkie Pie.

"There's no way it could be possible.", said Trixie. "She just fell down."

"Oh no!", said Derpy. "What if she's not sleeping?!"

"Don't you dare say that!", said Rainbow Dash, smacking Twilight's face. "WAKE UP!"

"Please don't treat her like that.", said Fluttershy.

"Sorry."

Spike began to shake Twilight intensely, enough to wake up a freaking Snorlax. Didn't work.

"I can't believe it.", said Spike.

"Does anyone here know CPR?!", said Rarity. "Someone's dying over here!"

"I don't think kissing her will solve anything.", said Pinkie Pie.

"Guys, cut it out.", said Fluttershy. "She's still breathing. See?"

"Oh, thank heavens...", said Applejack.

"Let's just stay here until she wakes up.", said Spike.

"I wonder what caused that...", said Trixie.

No Turning Back

  Twilight slowly opened her eyes. As she struggled to get up, she saw blue skies, and green lands. Multi-colored shapes everywhere, and blossoming flowers. The air was perfectly clean, and the temperature was great. She felt great too.

  "What happened?", said Twilight. "Where am I?"

  "Hey, Twilight!", said a terribly familiar voice. "You woke up!"

  "... Snips?"

  "I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble."

  "Where is this place, and what are you doing here?... is this the purgatory?"

  "You could call it that way.", said Snails, passing by.

  "Snails? You're here too?"

  "All your friends are here.", said Snips.

  Twilight turned her attention to the world around her. Every single one of her friends was there, except for the chosen ones.

  "... I don't get it...", said Twilight. "Where's Spike? Trixie? All the others?"

  "They're still there, at the Fire Spring.", said Snips.

  "Let's show them this place! I'm sure they'll be as happy as I am!"

  "Now, Twilight, you can't bring your friends here. This is your world. It's the place you often see in your dreams."

  "But... wait. Who else is here?"

  "It depends on who you want to be here."

  "I want Trixie to be here! She's, like, my best friend, along with Spike!"

  "Too bad you can't."

  "That doesn't make sense at all!"

  "Hey, Twilight.", said Gilda, flying above the three unicorns' heads. "Are you gonna brave the Sea of Eden?"

  "The Sea of Eden?"

  "It's the scariest place in the world! Even scarier than the Everfree Forest! I dare you to cross it!"

  "Well... challenge accepted. Why are you doing this again?"

  "Well, since you're so strong, and all, you may have what it takes to cross the dangerous Kraken waters."

  "I didn't defeat you all by myself."

  "No problem. Hey, Stewie!"

  Another griffon flew by. He was bigger and stronger-looking than Gilda.

  "I want you to escort this lady to the Sea of Eden.", said Gilda.

  "YES, MA'AM!", yelled Stewie.

  "Don't you dare shout near me."

  "... yes, ma'am. So, Twilight... isn't it? Off we go to the Sea of Eden."

  "Wait... why am I doing this again?"

  "I don't know... you don't know. No one knows why we're doing this."

  On the way to the Sea of Eden, Twilight noticed a huge lot of familiar stuff around her. Pretty much everything she has seen in her adventure so far. It all went together to form a beautiful place... unfortunately, that didn't apply to the Sea of Eden itself.

  "This is where I go.", said Stewie. "Good luck."

  "What, you're gonna leave me here?", said Twilight.

  "Trust me, you'll make it."

  "... darn it."

  Twilight then stepped into the scary terrain. Suddenly, all happiness contained in her little mind-produced world was gone. All feelings of happiness and joy were replaced by feelings of angst and fear. The sea water was ice-cold, and it never seemed to warm up. Twilight could also notice that the floor was gone. The sea was bottomless, but she somehow managed to float all the way through. It was probably the worst place she has ever been in, to that moment. What felt like heaven itself now felt like pure hell. The only difference is that, instead of fire, there was an endless sea of cold water. She felt like crying, but all the fear contained in her mind kept her from weakening herself. Eventually, she saw a really familiar-looking face. It was that awful face that haunted her dreams for three whole nights.

  "You shouldn't have done that.", said the ghostly face. "I warned you."

  "Please, just let me go.", said Twilight, not holding her tears anymore. "I've suffered enough."

  "I will not let you go."

  "Please! I beg you!"

  "BISMILLAH! I will NOT let you go. You, lady, may have beaten Master Belch. YOU, lady, may have broken the Luna statue. YOU, lady, may have defeated the Starmen's leader. But YOU, lady, shall NOT underestimate the evil part of your brain. You CAN'T beat me. After all... YOU are the one who forced me into being."

  At the very next second, Twilight felt the greatest pain she has ever felt in her life. It was enough for her to wonder why she was still alive. That face stared into her weakened soul for what seemed like centuries.

  "You know...", said the ghostly face. "... if it weren't for your birth, I would never exist. I must thank you for being yourself."

  "Where do you want to go with all that demented talking?", asked Twilight, sadness replaced with rage.

  "Nothing. I just wanted to thank you... by my way. And my way is making you suffer. That's how I live."

  "There is absolutely no way you could be part of me."

  "What are you saying, dear? Admit it: you love me. I have seen you do terrible things. That only shows how much you appreciate me. Now, if only you could do those things more often."

  "Fuck you."

  "What did you say?"

  "FUCK YOU. I never did those things on purpose. You FORCED me to do them. I absolutely regret every single one of those moments."

  "Stop acting all strong-spirited, dearest... you're insulting me."

  "You deserve much more than just some plain insulting. You... or me, whatever... deserve death."

  "Okay, now you're just creeping me out."

  "Oh, now we're switching up? I would rather eat broken glass than support you anymore. I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork than join you on your wacky doomsday ride."

  The ghostly face turned from scary to scared. Everything around them turned back to its normal, happy state.

  "Discord's goal is to destroy you.", said the scaredy face, who turned out to be Princess Luna.

  "Wait, you don't want to kill me anymore?", asked Twilight. She also noticed that the water has finally warmed up.

  "You have proven yourself worthy. It's not worth killing such a determined pony such as yourself."

  "Well, thank you."

  "Listen carefully... everything in the universe could be destroyed by the hands of Discord... but he and his followers are also in trouble. The Apple of Enlightenment has foretold that Discord's attempt will fail. It is because of a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle... that's you!"

  "That's nice to know..."

  "Listen... free your mind and KNOW what you must do! Your destiny has already been decided."

  "But... where do I go now?"

  "You know, deep within the reaches of your mind. Think about something. What's the first thing that comes to your mind?"

  "... Pinkie Pie... for some reason."

  "You must go to the Pinkie Valley then. You'll get something new there."

  "Thank you, for making me figure this out."

  "You're welcome. Now, it's time to wake up."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Soon, you'll wake up back at the Fire Spring, with your friends, and this world will cease to exist. This is all a dream."

  "A dream? Looked more like a nightmare..."

  "Hahaha! Well... anyway, it's time to wake up."

  "Goodbye... and thanks again."

  Twilight then fell asleep again, this time to wake up back at the real world, where her friends were waiting for her.

Final Chapter (I'm Happy)

  "... and the trees are all kept equal...", said Fluttershy. "... by hatchet, axe and saw."

  "That story was amazing.", said Rainbow Dash, while the rest of the group clapped their hooves.

  "Hey!", said Pinkie Pie. "Twilight's waking up!"

  Twilight opened her eyes, to find herself back at the Fire Spring, along with all of her true friends.

  "What happened, Twilight?", asked Trixie. "You kept squirming and crying..."

  "The Pinkie Valley!", said Twilight.

  "Pinkie Valley?", said Derpy. "What's happening there?"

  "I'll show you. Let's teleport!"

  Twilight teleported the whole group to the Pinkie Valley.

  "Wow!", said Pinkie Pie. "This place looks so much better than the last time!"

  "Hey, Derpy, ain't that your father over there?", said Applejack.

  The ponies spotted Dr. Peanuts and Twist working on something really cool-looking. Twist saw them and waved for them to come closer.

  "Yahah!", exclaimed Dr. Peanuts. "Congratulations, Twilight. Your sister here is a very exceptional young filly... very different from other kids."

  "She's not my sister...", said Twilight. "... although I can see why you thought that."

  "You two have so much in common. Ahem... anyway, the prototype Phase Distorter was stolen--"

  "That fat ol' meanie!", said Twist. "He stole our creation!"

  "I wonder who that is...", said Spike, now sharing the same hatred for Snips as Twilight.

  "Well... doesn't matter. I think we're done with the 2.0 version."

  "Care to give it a test?", asked Dr. Peanuts.

  "I'll go.", said Twilight. "If anything happens, I'll use my magic to come back."

  Twilight entered the Phase Distorter and pushed the button... nothing happened.

  "Hmm... it's not working.", said Dr. Peanuts. "There's one thing missing."

  "What is it?", asked Rarity.

  "Well... that material cannot normally be found on the earth. The material I'm thinking of came from a meteorite that fell when I was much younger. Have you seen a meteorite anywhere recently?"

  Twilight looked at Spike, who looked back at her. They knew exactly where to go now.

  "Yes I have.", answered Twilight.

  "Where?", asked Trixie.

  "Back in my hometown, at Canterlot!"

  "With just a piece of the meteorite...", said Dr. Peanuts. "... I can synthesize the material Zexonyte. I doubt that your mortal enemy, Discord - or whatever - will allow you to go to Canterlot and get a piece of the meteorite. By now, Canterlot is in his evil hands. You must go, though, so take every possible precaution."

  "I wonder what Canterlot is like at this point in time?", wondered Twilight, before teleporting the whole group back to her hometown.

  The group arrived back at Twilight's house. Twilight instantly saw her hometown turned into a nightmare land. The skies were red, and all the ponies were running away and getting diamondized by evil eyes. The group didn't have much time.

  "What in tarnation is goin' on here?", said Applejack, surprised.

  "This... was my hometown.", said Twilight. "Let's hurry up! There's not much time left!"

  Twilight led the way to the meteorite, while the other ponies looked at all the chaos happening at once. They have never seen anything scarier than that. Eventually, they arrived at the meteorite's landing spot, which stole everypony's attention.

  "I've never seen anything like that...", said Rarity. "... looks perfect for a dress I'm making."

  "Now's not the time to think about your personal business.", said Trixie.

  "Okay... got it.", said Twilight. "Look at it... it's so peculiar."

  "Could we get out of here before we look at it?", asked Fluttershy. "... please?"

  Twilight glanced at the evil horizon before teleporting the whole group back to the Pinkie Valley.

  "Ah, yes!", exclaimed Dr. Peanuts. "This is fantastic!"

  "Oooh...", said Twist. "... so shiny!"

  "I've never seen this incredibly rare element before... it is very intriguing."

  "How long will it take?", asked Rainbow Dash. "The Princess's town is in danger!"

  "I don't know... you guys can rest at the hotel for a while. I'll wake you up when we're done."

  "There ain't time for sleepin'!", said Applejack.

  "Now, Applejack...", said Spike. "... every little thing's gonna be alright."

  "Oh, Spike...", laughed Twilight. "... you don't know how much I missed your terrible jokes!"

  At the hotel room, Derpy was the only one asleep. The other ponies were too excited, with their fight against evil nearing its end. It didn't really matter who would take the bed, as they were all spread across the room. Rainbow Dash hugged Fluttershy the whole time.

  "Is there something between you two?", asked Rarity, looking for something to talk about.

  "Well...", said Rainbow Dash. "... kinda."

  "Yeah...", said Fluttershy. "... kinda."

  "You look cute together.", said Rarity.

  "Even though everything's going to be alright...", said Pinkie Pie. "... all this evil Discord talk looks scary."

  "What if we don't actually make it?", asked Trixie. "What if we die on the way?!"

  "Relax, you guys.", said Twilight. "The Apple of Enlightenment has foretold that Discord will fail."

  "What are you talking about?", asked Spike.

  "It's a long story."

  Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. It was Dr. Peanuts. Derpy instantly woke up.

  "Daddy?", said Derpy. "What brings you here?"

  "The Phase Distorter 2.0 is complete!", said Dr. Peanuts.

  "Huzzah!", cheered Spike, while the whole group went outside, except for Fluttershy.

  "Fluttershy?", said Rainbow Dash, coming back inside. "Didn't you hear him? Let's go!"

  "... but... what if we don't succeed?", said Fluttershy, letting out a few tears of pessimism.

  "Sweetie, we all have the same fear as you of not making it to the end. But you should know that we still have a chance of actually getting out alive. That chance might increase if we keep our heads up and never forget to be there for each other. Do you understand?"

  Fluttershy smiled and hugged her marefriend, while letting out a quiet yes.

  "Where did you get so good at lecturing?", asked Twilight, who just invaded the scene.

  "Oh...", said Rainbow Dash. "... I don't know. The words come up in my mind, and I just get them together..."

  "I'll have to interrupt your lovey-dovey moment. We're all waiting for you outside."

  "Sorry about that...", said Fluttershy.

  "The Phase Distorter 2.0 is complete!", said Twist.

  "There is just one thing, though...", said Dr. Peanuts.

  "What is it?", asked Derpy.

  "... you might not be able to return. Make sure you're all properly outfitted."

  "We're ready.", said Twilight. "Right, guys?"

  "Ready!", said the whole group, in chorus.

  "... kinda.", said Fluttershy.

  "Come on, we can do it.", said Rainbow Dash.

  The whole group entered the Phase Distorter, and teleported all the way to a very familiar place.

  "Hey, I remember this place!", said Twilight. "It's that scary cave at the Lost Underworld!"

  "What if Discord is living here?...", asked Trixie.

  "He probably is. I can feel his presence."

  "Hey, look at that funny tentacle over there!", said Pinkie Pie. "Haha!"

  "Excellent! You are truly excellent!", said an old-sounding voice.

  "I've heard that voice before...", said Rainbow Dash.

  "It's me, Rainbow Dash!"

  It turned out to be that old pegasus they met in Scaraba.

  "Hey there, dude!", said Rainbow Dash with a high hoof. "What're you up to now?"

  "You, Rainbow, are simply awesome.", said the old pegasus. "You are truly the best pegasus in Cloudsdale!"

  "I knew that a long time ago."

  "Scootaloo told me to give you this."

  The old pegasus lent her a cool-looking pendant.

  "What is this?", said Rainbow Dash.

  "It'll give you luck. Whenever you are in trouble, remember that the whole world is cheering for you."

  "Gosh, I didn't expect to get so famous doing this...", said Rarity, surprise replacing pride.

  "Thank you, man.", said Rainbow Dash.

  "See ya later...", said the old pegasus. "... best pegasus in Cloudsdale..."

  "Ha, you're awesome too, dude."

  The old pegasus teleported away.

  "Hey, Twilight!", said Applejack. "Look!"

  An exact copy of the Phase Distorter 2.0 teleported out of nowhere.

  "The Phase Distorter 3.0 is completed.", said Dr. Peanuts, coming out of the machine, along with Twist.

  "How did you manage to do it so fast?", asked Twilight.

  "With the help of this awesome pony.", answered both scientists at the same time.

  "This is why I love you, daddy!", said Derpy, hugging her father for the umpteenth time.

  "Discord is attacking from this exact location...", said Dr. Peanuts. "... but he is attacking from many years in the past."

  "You must warp to the past and fight him, but...", said Twist, unable to finish her sentence.

  "But...?", said Twilight.

  "This is very hard for me to tell you...", said Dr. Peanuts.

  "I'm sure we've heard worse."

  "*sigh* In order to defeat Discord, who is attacking from the past... you must warp to the past. This can be done by way of the Phase Distorter 3.0."

  "And...?"

  "However... the machine cannot warp living things, I mean, lifeforms. Life is demolished in the process of warping."

  "... oh."

  "The only way to accomplish the time travel is to transfer your brain 'program' into a robot, and send the robot to the past. What I mean is, your spirit will go with the robot while your body is left behind. I cannot promise that your spirit will come back after the battle in the past. But you must understand that you are the chosen ones. Do you still wish to face Discord by travelling to the past?"

  Twilight looked at her friends, who nodded in acceptance. Some of them were tearing up.

  "Yes I do.", said Twilight.

  "Hmm...", said Dr. Peanuts. "... you accept this while knowing that you may not be able to return to your current form, right?"

  Twilight looked at her friends, who nodded again.

  "Yes I do."

  "Hmm...", said Dr. Peanuts. "... you accept this while knowing that you may never come back again, right?"

  Twilight looked at her friends, who nodded in frustration.

  "Yes I do."

  "Hmm...", said Dr. Peanuts. "... you accept this while--"

  "Darn it, yes we do!", yelled Applejack.

  "*sigh* Okay... Twilight, come here. You guys turn back. This is kind of disturbing."

  "Whee!", said Pinkie Pie. "Look, I'm a robot! I feel so funny..."

  "What have I gotten myself into...", said Twilight to herself.

  "Well, it's kinda cool.", said Rainbow Dash, testing her new robotic wings. "That transfer hurt like a bitch though..."

  "There is no turning back now.", said Dr. Peanuts. "Twilight, activate the Phase Distorter 3.0 by your own hoof..."

  "... thereby following your destiny.", finished Twist. "We trust you."

  Twilight thought back at everything they have done so far, since the day Snips knocked on her door. It all led up to that moment. She could not turn back now. The whole group entered the machine and Twilight pushed the button. Next thing you knew, the Phase Distorter was gone.

  "Only a few people know of your amazing courage...", said Dr. Peanuts. "... but the number of people you save through that bravery is immense."

  "I feel very fortunate...", said Twist. "... to be present at the beginning of this monumental undertaking."

  "Ditzy Doo... my only daughter... I wish you luck, along with all of your friends."

  As the robotic ponies came out of the machine, they saw a place even scarier than the evil-infested Canterlot. There was no horizon, and no walls could be seen. The floor also seemed to rearrange itself. It seemed to lead the way to Discord's lair.

  "Twilight...", said Trixie. "... how do you think Discord looks like?"

  "He better be extremely scary...", said Twilight. "... after all we've passed through to get here."

  "Don't say that...", said Fluttershy.

  The ponies eventually arrived at what looked like a slit in the walls.

  "This may be it.", said Twilight with a gulp.

  "What are we waiting for?", said Spike. "Let's kick his butt!"

  "Let's go!", said Derpy, before all the robots entered the cave, to find an even scarier place. Everything looked so... organic. Twilight was proud of Spike, Pinkie and Derpy, the Butt Kickers. They didn't seem scared of anything in their way. She wished she had the same determination as them. Being robots, you couldn't tell the difference between her and Fluttershy.

  "I feel a very hateful presence in the air...", said Twilight.

  "Something cutting into your mind?", asked Trixie.

  "Yeah... exactly."

  "What is that?!", said Rarity.

  At the end of the cave, there was a weird, organic-looking structure, holding up what looked like an egg with Twilight's face planted on it.

  "It looks like... me?", said Twilight.

  "HAHAHAHA!", laughed You-Know-Who, teleporting out of nowhere with a fancy-looking machine. "Twilight! Are you surprised?!"

  "SNIPS?! I... can't believe it! You're assisting that... thing?!"

  "I only assist the strong and able. That's Snips for ya... haha! You guys look pathetic!"

  "I'm sure you don't look any better.", said Rarity.

  "The Apple of Enlightenment has already made a prediction... but I won't let what the Apple of Enlightenment predicted take place. You guys will be beaten by Discord. Discord will be stronger, a more powerful entity than any other! Why? 'Cause of me. I was led by Discord, and now I'm here. The Apple of Enlightenment couldn't predict this."

  "... you motherfucker.", said Twilight.

  "Hahaha... sure, insult me as you wish. Master Discord... no... Discord is no longer the wielder of evil. He has become the embodiment of evil itself... which he cannot control on his own. He is the evil power..."

  "Enough fucking around, Snips. You're the one I want to kill first."

  "Bring it on, bitch."

  Snips let out a very stinky gas, to try and weaken the mechanical warriors. Even with their offense decreased, everypony had a part in kicking Snips's metal mess. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy made a flying formation to attack him from above, while Twilight, Trixie and Rarity each used a different spell to combine into a powerful energy beam. The Twilight-faced egg counter-attacked with a powerful spell, much similar to Twilight's. Applejack, Spike and Pinkie then tried physical attacks, like kicks and tail whips. Derpy was the only one not doing anything, until Snips threatened to attack with a bomb. That's when Derpy's last bottle rocket came in handy.

  "I understand you guys are already claiming to be heroes...", said Snips, after having his butt kicked by nine robots at once. "... well, it's over a gazillion years too early for you to oppose Discord! You must feel pretty stupid to keep fighting without even knowing what Discord looks like!"

  "I know, right?", said Rainbow Dash.

  "If you were to ever see Discord, you'd be so petrified with fear, you'd never be able to run away! That's how scary it is!"

  "Bluff all you want...", said Twilight. "... we're not giving up."

  "So, do you want me to turn off the Devil's Machine? Well, prepare to be amazed."

  Snips turned off the Devil's Machine, much to the robots' despair.

  Twilight couldn't believe it. It couldn't get scarier than that. The face... the cold mist... the lack and excess of emotion... it made "terrifying" sound like a synonym for "beautiful".

  "So, isn't this horrifying?", said Snips, laughing at the robots' faces. "I'm terrified, too. Discord cannot think rationally anymore, and he isn't even aware of what he is doing now. His own mind was destroyed by his incredible power. What an almighty idiot! Yep, that's what he is! Heh heh heh heh..."

  The robots felt a huge pain in their mechanical bodies (it felt more like a short-circuit). They couldn't exactly describe how it felt, or where. The only thing that mattered was that it hurt a lot. Twilight tried using her powerful spell, which didn't seem to effect Discord much. She could hear him mumble her name, though.

  "Heh heh heh heh...", laughed Snips. "... you must really be at the end of your rope. In this bizarre dimension, you guys are the only force standing for justice... and here you stand, waiting to be burned up with all the rest of the garbage of this universe... that's so sad, I can't help but shed a tear. You know, my heart is beating incredibly fast... I must be experiencing absolute terror!"

  "I knew I would hate you since the day I met you.", said Twilight.

  "Heh. Do you want to scream for help here in the dark? Hahahahaha! Why not call the princess, Twilight? 'Help me, Celestia! I'm so frightened, I can't take this anymore!' I know you have telepathy, or something, so just try and call for help, you pathetically weak heroes of so-called justice! NO ONE WILL HELP YOU NOW!"

  "Don't get Celestia involved in your words, you fucking faggot."

  "Hahaha... the more you try to hurt me with words, the more amused I am by your current situation. Don't worry... your pitiful suffering will be over soon."

  Snips then disappeared into thin air, leaving the robot ponies alone with their pain and isolation.

  "Somepony...", said Twilight. "... do something..."

  "There's nothing we can do...", said Trixie. "... whenever I consider getting up, the pain comes back..."

  Twilight saw Fluttershy praying in the distance. She felt bad for taking her through all that horrible stuff. She never deserved it. Rainbow Dash looked at her pendant, before holding it to her chest, having failed her job as Scootaloo's heroine. Derpy, Rarity, Spike and Pinkie had a group hug, wanting to die as good friends. Applejack was praying too.

  "That's it...", cried Twilight. "... looks like we failed."

  Twilight felt something poking her. She turned around to see Pinkie Pie, inviting her for a group hug. Her robotic mane was puffed up, for some reason. Usually, when Pinkie was sad, her mane would flop down.

  "Pinkie?... why is your mane up?"

  "Everypony...", said Pinkie Pie. "... looks like our only option is praying for help."

  "Didn't you hear Snips?", said Rainbow Dash. "No one will help us..."

  The only thing keeping Pinkie from bursting into tears was the fact that they were robots. Otherwise, her face would be soaking wet.

  "I know.", said Pinkie Pie. "But... it's worth trying."

  Everypony started praying for help.

  "Please, give us strength...", prayed Pinkie Pie. "... if it's possible. Please... somepony help us."

  "Do you think they will make it?", asked Twist.

  Dr. Peanuts didn't answer.

  "What's happening?"

  "I'm feeling something new... something startling... something I've never experienced before..."

  He started praying for his daughter, and her friends. Twist did the same thing.

  Twilight noticed that the occasional pain she was feeling lost a bit of intensity. Discord also looked scarier, and she felt like somepony had answered their prayer.

  "Pinkie...", said Twilight.

  "... what?", said Pinkie Pie.

  "... I think it's working."

  Pinkie Pie smiled.

  "Your turn, Spike.", said Pinkie Pie.

  "... please, give us strength.", prayed Spike. "Anyone who can hear our plea... help us."

  At Jackie's Cafe, Vinyl and Octavia were having a good time, when suddenly, Vinyl felt something stop her.

  "What is it, sweetie?", asked Octavia. "Anything wrong?"

  "I... don't know...", said Vinyl.

  Vinyl started praying for Twilight's safety. Octavia felt the same thing, and started praying too.

  "I can't get that song out of my head...", said Spike, thinking of Octavia's music.

  "Your turn, Fluttershy.", said Pinkie Pie.

  "... please give us strength.", prayed Fluttershy. "Speed this prayer to all the ponies in Equestria."

  As Caramel walked down the street, he thought he heard Fluttershy's voice. He then prayed for her and her friends' safety.

  "Somehow, I feel more confident...", said Fluttershy, before suffering that horrible pain again.

  "Your turn, Derpy.", said Pinkie Pie. "I think I know who you'll be calling to."

  "Please, give us strength.", prayed Derpy. "Anyone who can hear our plea... help us."

  "Yeah, right.", said Jackie. "Do you really think we'll believe in you just because you're saying you saw Tessie?"

  "I swear, it's true!", said Timmy, before suddenly remembering about his girlfriend.

  "What's happenin', man?", asked Maxwell.

  "Ditzy Doo..."

  Timmy started praying for the safety of Derpy and her friends. Maxwell did the same thing.

  "You guys crack me up...", said Jackie, while grabbing the last slice of pizza.

  While all that happened, Twilight noticed how Discord looked even scarier with each prayer. The pain would also get more tolerable in the same rhythm. She smiled, now knowing why Pinkie's mane was up. Everything was going to be alright.

  "Your turn, Rainbow Dash.", said Pinkie.

  "Please grant us power.", prayed Rainbow Dash, while holding the special pendant. "Anyone who can hear our plea... help us."

  Scootaloo stared at the horizon, wondering if Rainbow Dash would ever come back. She prayed for the safety of her heroine and her friends.

  "I promise I'll come back...", said Rainbow Dash to herself.

  "Your turn, Applejack.", said Pinkie Pie.

  "Please grant us strength.", prayed Applejack. "Anyone who can hear our plea... we're askin' for this."

  Apple Bloom, Granny Smith and Big Macintosh were at the dinner table, ready to eat. As a good, religious family, they started praying, and dedicated their prayer to Applejack and her friends.

  Twilight hugged Pinkie Pie, proud of her friend's confidence in herself and her friends.

  "Right.", said Pinkie Pie. "Your turn, Rarity."

  "Please grant us power.", prayed Rarity. "Speed this prayer to all the ponies in Equestria."

  "What brings you down, Belle?", asked one of the Tenda kids.

  "I miss my sister...", said Sweetie Belle.

  "I'm sure she's alright."

  Sweetie Belle prayed for the safety of Rarity and her friends.

  "I just hope she's alright.", said Rarity.

  "Your turn, Twilight.", said Pinkie Pie.

  "Please give us strength.", prayed Twilight. "Anyone who can hear our plea... help us."

  Princess Celestia finished dinner, and dedicated a prayer to her faithful student and her friends.

  Discord looked so scary Twilight couldn't even look at him. However, the pain was almost gone.

  "Your turn, Trixie.", said Pinkie Pie.

  "I can't think of anyone else...", prayed Trixie. "Someone... please help us..."

  Trixie's call was absorbed by the darkness.

  "Didn't work." said Trixie.

  "Can't you think of anypony else?", asked Pinkie Pie.

  "AG didn't give me any close friends!"

  "Wait a minute... everypony! Let's say one last prayer."

  Pinkie and her friends' calls touched the heart of AspergerGoodness.

  Twilight heard some threatening sounds, but kept her eyes shut. Discord's defenses became unstable.

  AspergerGoodness kept praying.

  Twilight could hear that special song once again, this time distorted and downright creepy.

  AspergerGoodness kept praying.

  Discord started making extremely loud noises. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy hugged.

  AspergerGoodness kept praying.

  "DANG IT, TWILIGHT!", screamed Snips, who just teleported back. "Well... it's going to seem like I'm running away. But perhaps I'll just sneak away to another era to think about my next plan. It's a good bet that we will see each other again. Alright! I'll be seeing you! So now which one of us do you think is the cool one?!"

  As Snips teleported away, the noise Discord was making turned from extremely loud to simply deafening. Everything seemed to distort itself, while the entire group hugged each other. Suddenly, there was a huge, bright explosion that threw everypony out of the cave, unconscious.

  The war against Discord was over.

The Aftermath

  At the Pinkie Valley, the ponies' bodies were laid on the floor, in a circle pattern. Around them, Dr. Peanuts, Twist and Princess Celestia were mourning their possible death. They were great heroes, and managed to destroy the source of all evil that was Discord.

  "They will always be remembered.", said Princess Celestia.

  "... my child... such a young pony...", said Dr. Peanuts, tears flowing through his eyes.

  "I feel honored to have been such a great help to them.", said Twist. "Silver Spoon said I'd never be of any importance, and yet here I am. Thank you all."

  "Geez, what's with all the sadness?", asked Pinkie Pie, having woken up a few seconds ago. "Cheer up, we made it!"

  The three mourners gasped in awe.

  "We actually made it!", said Derpy, as all the other ponies woke up as well.

  "DITZY!", cheered Dr. Peanuts, hugging his daughter, his best creation of all.

  "I missed you too, daddy..."

  "Could you believe how scary that was?!", said Spike, a little insane from what he had just experienced, but overall well.

  "Indeed.", said Fluttershy, not bothering to get up for a while.

  "I... can't believe it!", said Twilight, biting herself to make sure it wasn't a dream. "WE MADE IT!"

  "Yes you did.", said Princess Celestia, tearing up from the happiness of the situation. "You, Twilight, and all of your friends, are the ones who saved Equestria!"

  "I thought we'd never make it...", said Rarity. "... but we did! All thanks to you guys!"

  "Thanks and you're welcome.", said Applejack.

  "I'm glad we made it out alive.", said Trixie, still laying on the floor.

  "Now, Twilight...", said Rainbow Dash. "... our travels together end here. I think I'll stay in Cloudsdale for a little more time... you know, to tell Scootaloo and the king about this rather exciting adventure."

  "No problem.", said Twilight.

  "Goodbye, sweetie.", said Rainbow Dash to Fluttershy, while kissing her hoof. "I'll see you in a few months."

  "I'll be waiting.", said Fluttershy.

  "Let me demonstrate one special move before I go. I learned it when I was still a young filly."

  As Rainbow Dash demonstrated her Rainbow Farewell, Photo Finish fell from the sky one last time.

  "Congratulations, ponies.", said Photo. "Angel here has a special gift for you."

  Angel delivered a few letters to the group, before hopping on Fluttershy's belly.

  "Now zat I have all ze pictures I need...", said Photo. "... I'll start working on ze photo album. I'll show you later."

  "This is a letter from Timmy.", said Twilight, before Derpy stole it from her hooves.

Dear Ditzy...

Everything's really going great here.

I wish I could have gone with you on your adventure, even just part of the way, but instead I'm here, waiting for you in Ice Cube Land.

I want to see you again as soon as possible.

I can't wait to see your cheerful face... like I said, I'm waiting for you.

Yours truly... Timmy.

P.S.: Don't show this letter to anyone!

  "Oh, Timmy...", said Derpy.

  "I think I'll have to take you guys home now.", said Twilight, jokingly annoyed.

  "Well, I'll stay here.", said Pinkie Pie. "At least, until you guys decide to move together to Ponyville!"

  "See you in a few months then! Goodbye, Princess."

  "Goodbye, Twilight.", said Celestia. "I was really thinking of moving you to Ponyville, so you could learn a few valuable lessons about friendship."

  "Twilight, I'll stay too.", said Derpy. "I wanna spend some more time with my daddy."

  "No problem."

  "It was great to hang out with you guys. I'm glad that I had the chance to use some of the theories that I have been studying so hard. It's remarkable... this will be goodbye for now... my friends."

  "So... is everypony ready?", said Twilight.

  "Ready!", said everypony, as Twilight began to teleport her friends to their respective homes.

  When Twilight was finished taking everypony back to their homes, her and Spike were the only ones left. Twilight returned to her home in Canterlot. She was relieved to see that everything was going well, and all the evil that infested the city was gone.

  "Hey, Twilight.", said Lyra, who was walking by. "You did a pretty good job! High hoof?"

  "High hoof!", obliged Twilight. "I think I'll stay home for a while now."

  "Haha, yeah, you really deserve some rest after all that. See you later then!"

  "See ya!"

  "Looks like books aren't your only friends anymore.", said Spike.

  "Oh yeah! I forgot to return the shyness book!"

  "... we'll get it later."

  "Yeah, you know what? I think I'll get it tomorrow."

  As Twilight laid on her bed, thinking about everything she had passed through, there was a knock on the door.

  "Could you get the door, Spike?", asked Twilight.

  "Fine...", said Spike. As he opened the door, he saw Snails with a letter in his mouth.

  "Hey, is Twilight Sparkle there?", asked Snails.

  "Snails?", said Twilight, as she got out of bed and went to the living room. "What are you doing here?"

  "I got a letter from Snips."

  "*sigh* Go ahead..."

Come and get me, loser! Spankety, spankety, spankety!

  "I wonder if we'll ever have to go through all that again...", said Spike.

  "Probably not.", said Twilight. "Couldn't you realize that Snips was lying the whole time? Typical of a loser like him."

  "I know, right?", said Snails. "After all that happened, I don't even want to be friends with him anymore."

  "Hey, Snails. Wanna play EarthBound?"

  "Sure! I'm stuck in Moonside right now... do you know what to do there?"

  And so, Equestria was saved from doomsday, thanks to Twilight and her friends, who were enjoying their deserved moment of peace, hoping that they would meet again someday.

  The end.

Everything You Know is Wrong

  "Wake up.", whispered Pinkie Pie to Twilight, who was still sleeping. "Hey... hey, wake up!"

  Twilight just moved to the side, and kept sleeping.

  "WAKE UP! This is Pinkie Pie, and I'm your wake up call! WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!"

  "Dang it, Pinkie!", complained Twilight. "I'm not sleeping! I'm just resting my mind."

  "Twilight, I think you'll want to see this.", said Spike.

  "*sigh* What now?"

  Twilight opened her eyes, to find out that the world around her was completely nonsensical. The group was sitting around a table on the café, and everything looked like it belonged on a Pink Floyd album... or something.

  "What the buck is going on?", asked Twilight, in sincere disbelief. "Is this a dream?"

  "Looks pretty real to me.", said Trixie.

  "May I take your order, please?", asked the waiter.

  "Oh?", said Twilight. "No thanks, we're on our way out."

  "Okay, what do you want then?"

  "Wha? I said no, thanks."

  "I know! But you don't expect me to just bring you a random drink, do you?"

  "But I don't want anything!"

  "Wait... you're a newcomer, aren't you?"

  "I guess... I've never been here before."

  "Well... here in Hatemannan, 'yes' means 'no'. And vice-versa."

  "Really? Well, in that case... I'd like to order a drink."

  "So you don't want anything? Get off the table, then!"

  Heading outside, the world around them looked even more nonsensical. They could see stuff they didn't even know the name of. The ponies around them acted extremely strange as well. Twilight suspected that someone might've put some kind of drug in their drinks. They have never seen such a wacky place before. It was beyond their deepest thoughts.

  "This place is so awesome!", said Pinkie Pie.

  "Feels kinda weird though...", complained Derpy. "I don't feel really comfortable..."

  "Maybe if we go to the Monotoli building...", suggested Spike. "... the guards will be crazy enough to let us in."

  "Yeah, I guess it'll work...", said Twilight. "Wait... Spike, you're a genius!"

  "Of course I am."

  "Come with me, everyone! We're going to the building again!"

  Surprisingly, the group had a really hard time trying to figure out how to get to the Monotoli building. Whenever they found a way to get there, the city found a way to redesign itself, creating the most confusing maze they have ever passed through. Derpy Hooves was growing tired of those motherbucking mazes.

  "I think I'm gonna be sick.", commented Spike.

  "Maybe it's the effect of that zacky-wacky statue we saw at the café.", explained Pinkie Pie. "Do you see how it affects all ponies around it? It turned Monotoli into an evil meanie. I don't know why we're not meanies, though..."

  "Pinkie, that actually made all the sense in the world!", said Twilight. "Spike! Trixie! Do you see the relation between all those evil ponies and the Luna Moona statue? First of all, Doctor Whooves. He's usually a really generous pony, and always shares his findings with the others. However, when he told me about the Luna statue, he said that he would not share it with anypony. He said that it was all his."

  "Makes sense...", said Spike.

  "After that, it was Carpainter's turn! The statue forced him to create the dumbest religion and kidnap Fluttershy (by the way, she sure gets kidnapped a lot...)."

  "Makes even more sense!", said Trixie.

  "And now, Caramel almost died because of Monotoli, who is influenced by the statue! It's the statue that makes all this happen! Maybe it's Discord's plan to spread evil around Equestria! Pinkie, you're the smartest pony I have ever met!"

  "I thought I was a genius...", said Spike.

  "You're a dragon, Spike."

  Derpy raised her hoof anxously.

  "What is it, Derpy?"

  "What about us?", asked Derpy. "We've been so close to the statue I could even smell it, and I don't feel evil at all."

  "Spike, do you remember that Parasprite we saw back at Canterlot?"

  "Yeah, I do...", said Spike.

  "He told us that Equestria would be saved by nine ponies and a baby dragon! And I'm starting to realize how much teamwork we have used to get through all those scary situations! If it weren't for you, Derpy, I'd be dead back at the hardware store!"

  "Where are you going with all this?", asked Spike.

  "Can't you see, Spike? We are the chosen ones! That's why we're not acting all evil! The statue has other plans for us! Maybe Discord wants us in our perfect mental state, or something. I don't know. But this should be the only reason why we're feeling so... normal! Oh my God, everything makes so much sense now!"

  "In other words...", said Trixie. "... we gotta find that statue and smash it to oblivion?"

  "Exactly!"

  "Hey, isn't that the Monotoli building, over there? With the statue at the door?", asked Derpy.

  "... seriously? Is it that easy?"

  "No. Of course not.", said Twilight, as she found a pony guard blocking the way.

  "What are you looking for, miss?", asked the guard.

  "We're looking for that statue right behind you."

  "Oh, I'm afraid I can't let you pass."

  "Why the buck not?", asked Twilight. She didn't feel like swearing at the moment.

  "'Cause you're not with a pony whose eyebrows are connected and who also has a gold tooth."

  "... okay then... we'll be right back."

  "I thought you were going to rage all over again.", said Spike.

  "Nah... I'm feeling good right now. No reason to get angry. Even though I don't know where we're going to find a pony whose eyebrows are connected and who also has a gold tooth."

  "Let's ask that dude over there!"

  Nearby, there was a pony who looked like he knew about everything. It was actually Jackie, the balconist back at the café.

  "Excuse me, sir.", said Trixie to Jackie. "Do you know about any ponies around here that have connected eyebrows and a gold tooth?"

  "I don't know about that kind...", said Jackie. "Come here, let me show you something really cool."

  "Um... okay."

  Jackie suddenly turned into a ghost, not really different than the one that trapped them in a dungeon, back in Spooktown.

  Twilight woke up in a strange room. She looked around a bit, and found out that she was still inside the nonsensical world of Hatemannan. The others were awake as well. However, she did feel a strange presence in the air.

  "Are you guys alright?", asked Twilight.

  "Yeah, we're fine...", said Derpy.

  "I'm fine too.", said a strange voice.

  "What? Who's there?", asked Twilight.

  "Can you see me?"

  "Um... no, I can't."

  "Haha! You can, huh? You've become a real Hatemannian! Don't worry, I'll teleport you out of here."

  The invisible pony teleported the whole group outside of the room, back at Nonsense Land.

  "There's something interesting about you, so I'm going to follow you, if you don't mind."

  "Not at all. I've never had a stalker before...", said Twilight.

  "I'm not stalking. I'm just following you guys. Where ya goin'?"

  "We're going to the Monotoli building."

  "Okay then. Hey, check out my eyebrows: they're connected!"

  "... really? Cool!"

  "Don't ya wish you had a gold tooth like mine? Look! It shines on the sunlight!"

  "Sunlight... ? Anyway, you're exactly who I was looking for! Follow us, won't you?"

  "Hey, I thought I told you to not pass.", said the guard.

  "Do you know this guy?", asked Twilight.

  "Who you talking ab-- huzzah! Hey there, Steve, how ya doin'?"

  "I'm fine, Frank!", said the invisible pony. "Wanna grab some drinks at Jackie's?"

  "Sure!"

  Steve and Frank turned into gas and flew away, while the group of worldsavers watched everything with confusion. If they stayed at that place for too long, they would end up losing their minds. Pinkie was enjoying it, though, and laughed at how little sense everything made. Twilight turned around, only to see another classy-looking pony, just like the ones at Manehattan.

  "Don't do anything to me! I am... I am not Monotoli! It's all her fault!", said Monotoli, pointing to the Luna statue behind him. He then ran away, crying in a comical way.

  "There it is, guys!", said Twilight. "The Luna Moona statue!"

  "Let's smash it!", said Spike, punching the statue, regretting it afterwards.

  "It looks like it's a really tough material.", said Trixie. "I don't think punching it would destroy it."

  "Hey, Twilight!", said Pinkie Pie. "Why don't you use your magic to blow it up, or something?"

  "I'll try it. You guys back off.", said Twilight.

  Twilight concentrated really hard to use her super-awesome spell on the statue. However... the statue was evil enough to know what was going on.

  "AAAUGH!", screamed Twilight.

  "What is it, what is it?!", said Pinkie Pie.

  "That face... oh GOD, that face! Damn statue!"

  "You're scared of a harmless face? How about I sing you a song to keep you cheered up?"

  "I guess it'll work."

  Twilight tried again, with Pinkie Pie singing her Twinkle Twinkle Polka to keep her cheered up. Didn't work.

  "What now?", asked Pinkie.

  "Your song sounds demonic at some point."

  "Try knocking it over.", suggested Derpy, knocking the statue over to the floor. The statue let out a cracking noise.

  "The statue cracked!", said Spike. "Let's throw it at something as hard as a rock!"

  Spike took the statue and threw it to the ground. Guess what? It actually worked! The statue broke into a thousand pieces, disappearing into thin air.

  "It worked!", said Twilight. "Maybe my magic weakened it a little."

  "Yeah, maybe.", said Trixie.

  Suddenly, a really heavy gas appeared out of nowhere, and out of it came an EXTREMELY scary version of the Luna statue. It looked pretty alive, though.

  "You shouldn't have done that...", said the scary statue.