To Breathe a Laugh is to Suffer Eternal Sorrow
And To Force A Smile is to Seal Fate
Life. What is life?
The dictionary says that it’s the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
But, to me, life is much more than that. Beyond basic needs like food, water, air, and shelter, life is a complex matrix of emotions. Yet, even beyond that, for most ponies, they feel most alive when they’re happy. And, according to the dictionary, happiness is characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy.
It sounds simple when it’s put that way, doesn’t it? Then, why is happiness such an elusive emotion for so many ponies?
That’s mainly what I want to talk about, but first, there’s something else I want to explain. You may not understand the relevance at first, but, I promise, it will all eventually come together to make sense. Just trust me.
Now, before I get to what my main purpose for writing this is, I need to explain something about happiness. Contrary to popular belief, it is just as much of a curse, if not more so, than it is a blessing. Those who have had their lives be dominated by happiness have been blinded. Blinded to the truth about reality.
They have built their own perfect little world from their happiness, which, don’t get me wrong, is great for them, but because of it, they think that everypony else’s life is the same way. And, if you’re reading this and you’re one of those ponies, I’m happy that you’ve had such a good life, I really, truly am, but please take these next words deeply to heart.
Not everypony has happiness come so easily to them. A fair amount of ponies have to fight for even a small, fleeting moment of that elusive emotion known as happiness. And, there are also some ponies who have never known what it feels like to be happy. While the former is much more common, both do occur, and both types of ponies are affected by those who take happiness for granted.
Take a moment, and just forget about all that’s ever happened in your life. And now, imagine that you are constantly drowning in what feels like an endless amount of emotional pain. Everywhere you go you feel like an outcast, a freak. It seems like all the ponies around you are always happy, yet no matter how hard you try, you can’t ever truly be happy, so you’re forced to fake it every day. You can feel yourself breaking from this, but you’re all alone. Alone until you can’t take it anymore.
Now, some of you reading this may feel that way for real, while others of you may be one of those ponies who’ve been blinded by happiness. If you’re one of the latter, then please, really think about the aforementioned scenario. Let it open your eyes to at least a part of true reality. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that you are so happy, but you can’t let that become your perception of reality.
If you did so, then you will be unable to help all those who are so much less fortunate than you. Don’t think that I‘m telling you that you should stop being happy; all I mean is that you need to know that not everypony is living in your perfect fantasy world. Even if they act like they are, it is imperative that you remember that there is pain roaming rampant in our world. Be prepared to face this pain, whether at somepony else’s side or on your own. I wasn’t ready; I was too young when I felt it for the first time, and it has broken me.
Now, to return to my main purpose in writing this. The question posed earlier was: 'Then, why is happiness such an elusive emotion for so many ponies?'
In truth, this question cannot be answered with one simple, concrete answer. There is a multitude of reasons as to why this is so, and these reasons vary from pony to pony, both in cause and severity. And so, rather than try to explain the unexplainable, I'll keep it simple and just tell you some parts of my story. But, for those of you who were especially close friends with me, know that this will contradict most if not all of what you thought you knew about me.
When I was very young, I did nothing to hide my true feelings. But, as soon as I saw that rainbow and got my cutie mark, I felt that I had to live up to what seemed to be expected of me. Sadly, I could not do so on the rock farm where my family had been living for years. Destiny forced me to leave behind all that I had ever known and start a new life without even the one pony I needed more than anything else. My sister, Maud. She had always been there for me when I wasn’t able to keep going on my own.
All these years since then, I’ve kept fighting because of her. I’d devoted my life to trying to make everypony else happy. I did so as an attempt to prevent other ponies from feeling as bad as I felt. All I can do now is hope that even some of what I did made a difference in somepony’s life. For I will not ever get a chance to do so again. That is why I have written this. Ponies’ eyes needed to be opened to the true emotions that many ponies are keeping hidden day after day.
By the time you found this, I was already dead. But do not weep for me. Weep for all those who feel the way I did. As my final request, I beg of you, do all that you can to stop anypony else from following. Dying like this…it’s not worth it, I promise. And yet, I must. My soul has grown far too weary to wait for the sun to rise again. So here, at the darkest hour of Death, my heart will sing its last song, and I will finally be free.
I’m sorry for this. I’m so sorry everypony. Please, remember my story. Remember, and let nopony else walk down this dark path.
Pinkie Pie put down the quill and stepped back. Her hoof shook as she reached for the knife. Even with how badly she wanted this, she couldn't quell the fear within her. She could feel her mane wanting to deflate, but there was no way she could possibly allow that. Letting her true self show had always been her weakness, and she would not die that way. She would not die as Pinkamena Diane Pie.
Come on Pinkie, you can fake it one last time. Do it for them. Just one...
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