Hi! My name’s Pinkie Pie and I wrote this just so I could tell you how to have fun! I mean, who else would ever write about having fun because, DUH, I’m Pinkie Pie! Oh, right, I have to write this! Well, anyway, so you wanna know how to have fun? You’ve bought the right book! Just sit right back and let your Auntie Pinkie Pie tell you all about it!
First off, lemme tell you the number one thing you should always do if you want to have fun. Be happy! Not just in a good mood, but I mean bouncing up and down and giggling all day happy! Like me! Bounce your way around Equestria, smiling and spreading your joy to everypony! Sometimes I sing songs, but my friends sometimes get annoyed. I don’t know why, do you? Why would anyone hate songs? Once I sang a song about laughing at the mean monsters in Everfree and everyone loved it ‘cause we got out safely and what’s that Spike? Oh, whoopsee!
You know what’s fun? Parties! Balloons filling the room and streamers lining the walls! If you want to have a good party, follow my advice! 1-Fill the room with so many decorations that you almost smother everypony inside! 2- Cake! 3- More cake! 4- Did I mention cake? and finally, 5- Have plenty of friends to have the party with you! Don’t have any friends? That’s okay, you can borrow Madame La Fleur! Oo! Maybe Twilight could teach you about friendship! Pinkie, come on, this is your guide! Well, yeah, but maybe they don’t have friends! I don’t want to...Spike are you writing this down!?
Go on trips around Equestria! I’ve heard Appleoosa is a nice place, and Canterlot is for rich ponies. Or is that Manehattan? I don’t remember, heehee! My granny pie, before she went away for a long time, used to go all around the wide world of Equestria to places like Caves, lakes, small fillies’ rooms, under beds, in closets... ya know, like every other pony! I never tried it before, but I bet it’s a lot of fun! Like a game of hide-and-seek! Pinkie, I don’t think... Anyway, you should travel to different places so you can meet new ponies and know every pony in Ponyville just like me! Oh wait, I mean all of Equestria!! Ow! Pinkie, how did you end up up there!? And...Spike! I told you to stop writing what I--
I’ve heard from a friend of mine that going on a date with a colt or mare is a lot of fun! Especially if you take them to Sugarcube Corner! What? Mr. and Mrs. Cake asked me if I could mention them in my guide. Oh, professionalism, shmofelishin...ism. Yeah, going on dates is fun, from what I’ve heard! You can eat at a fancy place, or nuzzle under Luna’s moon, or..uh. I forgot the rest.
I once went to a movie theater in Manehattan and there was candy and popcorn and cotton candy and soda and other deeeelicious snacks! It was so much fun I couldn’t stop giggling! Then again I never stop giggling because I’m Pinkie Pie and I’m always happy! You can never make me unhappy, except for one time when I thought my friends didn’t like my parties and didn’t want to be my friends anymore but that passed over quickly. Whoops, sorry Twilight! Right, movies are fun because you can spend time with your family or friends and enjoy a movie! Movies are like plays only played on a screen using a projection system with apurchers and light bending techniques!
Pranking is something I like to do with Rainbow Dash, because it’s fun to watch ponies’ faces when they see a snake in their boot! One time Rainbow Dash tried to prank the entire party I had once, but that meanie mean face Gilda got all of it at the same time. With pranks you can either make friends, or sadly, unmake friends. For instance, try some of these fun pranks! The hoof-shocker, asking Rainbow Dash to use a cloud to scare someone with thunder, and popping out of a birthday cake! I once put hot sauce in somepony’s tea, but they didn’t like it as much as I did. What do they know! Teehee!
Reading is enjoyable too. Reading all day and night is a great way to expand one’s mind and grant them abilities they might not have known they had before. Some ponies think that reading is ‘boring’ or ‘uncool’, but I think they’re just--Woah! Pinkie how’d you get out of the bathroom so fast!? Okay, wait, no I can explai- Alright! I’m leaving!
That silly Twilight’s trying to ruin my book! Anyway, Spike, games are something that I’ve always loved to do. Whether it be, oh, Twister, or Hide and Seek, and maybe even some Cribbage! My momma used to play Chess with my granny Pie all the time after her first party, but she quit after granny Pie went off for vacation. Three years is a looong vacation! Games are fun, but are mostly played at parties, though I guess you could play them anytime you want if you have the friends for it! Next item, Spike! No, you weren’t supposed to write that down, but it’s okay!
Slumber parties! Oh, they’re just my most favorite kind of party! Except surprise parties, ‘cause those are fun too, but I just love spending time with my best friends all night! What stinks though is that I’m always the last to fall asleep. Do I even fall asleep? I usually just keep whacking them with pillows all night, or play games with them while they sleep. Not as fun as when they’re awake, but I can at least be with my friends. S’mores are vital to a slumber party because they’re oh-so-sweet! Sweeter than even Fluttershy or me! Though when they catch on fire it isn’t as tasty since the skin is all burned and melty.
Oy! Whatcha writin’ there Pinkie? Oh, hi there Mr. big funny sounding pony; I thought you were in my basement! Aye, lass, I was. Forty days to be exact. Whatcha writin’? A guide to having fun, why? Err, this li’l dragon is writin’ down everythin’ we’re saying. Darnit, Spike!
Haha! Ah know a really good way ta have fun. Get bloody piss-drunk. Ah mean drink ‘til yer wellies fall off and somehow land inta yer mouth! Hey, wait, I thought this was Pinkie’s guide? It is, lass, Pinkie came up with these lines herself. Rather weird, considerin’ even I don’t know what the hell ‘Wellies’ are. Hey guys, come on, stick to the guide, it’s not easy writing everything you say you know. Wait...Pinkie, how did you--
Rarity is so beautiful. Gosh, she’s like a thousand gems sculpted into the figure of a pony, her horn ornamenting the entire thing. Wait...this isn’t my diary is it. Oops.
Hey! This is my guide isn’t it? Come on, I think we should get back to writing, well, at least you should Spike.
So, another great way to enjoy life is to sing! Singing is what I do, singing is what I love, I’d do it in the morning, I’d do it in the night, but for some reason my singing gives fillies a fright. Maybe it’s because I hide in their closets. Anyway, yeah! Singing is great! I taught all my friends lessons with it, and saved the day! Singing about things like the sun, or the moon, or the dirt, or the microorgas--SPIKE!!! That’s not how you spell ‘O-R-G-A-N-I-S-M’!!!
I once had fun with a wee lass from Cloudsdale. Ah think she had a blue coat on, and her mane was rainbows ‘er somethin’. *hic* Aye, she was fun, made me feel like a real man! *hic* I...her right in her... I think it’s time for you to go now, Mr. DeGroot.
Wow! I just came up with another thing that’s fun! It’s a blast to fight dragons! Their big teeth showing at you and their spit dripping on your nose! RRRRRGH!!! Hahaa! We should do this more often Twilight! Spike, if you start writing down what I say...
Rarity! Hi! What are you doing here this late at night? Well I heard that Pinkie was making a guide on how to have fun, so I thought I’d chip in!
Well, what I enjoy doing the most out of everything in my day is sewing beautiful dresses and suits for mares and gentlecolts alike. I once made over twenty-seven different dresses for all of Ponyville’s colts. It was a sight, seeing the bedazzled suits strolling all about Ponyville. Though I can’t recall exactly what the event was. So, anyway, you can also have plenty of enjoyment from spending quality time with a sibling, by sewing with them! All the young fillies absolutely adore sewing!
See ya Rarity! Yes, that brings me to another idea for fun! Wow, I’ve said fun so much it sounds kinda repetitive! I hope that the editor ponies don’t mind.
Spending quality time with family, like a sibling or offspring of yours is plenty of fun. Once I brought my two sisters over to Ponyville for a quick visit, and we had so much fun together with the bubbles! I think that the were coming from some grey pegasus from a little while away, but I can’t remember. It sure was fun, though! What’s that Twilight? You want to add something? Like frosting on a cupcake? Okay.
I think that having fun is a great thing and should be shared by all, family, friends, teachers. It’s a great virtue that all .. . .
Looks like Pinkie and Spike fell asleep. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to continue this on the pap-- Pinkie, where did you come from!? Well, yes, a rock farm, but I mean. Oh look, Spike’s waking up. And I’m writing down everything I’m saying. How hypocritical. Pinkie, maybe we should finish the rest in the morning. I’m too...tired to keep going.
Well, Twilight and Spike are still asleep so I guess I’ll keep going along myself! Oh, and sorry about the scribble up there.
If you want to have a good time, let me warn you first, do not call the numbers you find written on the walls of bathrooms. You may accidentally get mistaken for a cadaver and locked in a morgue all year. It was fun until I got my roommate. She really should’ve taken a shower or something.
Heehee! Remember when I told you it was fun to prank people? Well, I just did something hilarious to Spike and Twilight while they were asleep! Wait until they wake up! I’ll give you a small hint: I drew on their faces with permanent marker that I just so happened to have with me! Then I put whipped cream on Twilight’s hoof and tickled her nose! Won’t she be in for a surprise.
So, I guess I should keep writing, the newspaper said that I need at least two-thousand-five-hundred words or else they’ll be meanies and throw it in the trashcan!
I know this is something Twilight would say, but writing is a whole lot more fun than I imagined! Deg Root came over and said funny things about Rainbow Dash, I got to prank Twilight and Spike, and I even got to have cake! I should probably do this more often! Anyway, next thing on this list I’m pulling out of thin air!
Okay it says right here that for the best time in the world, you have to...eat yourself to death? I don’t remember writing that, but okay! Eat yourself out! Make sure you leave no room for breathing, I guess. I know what you can eat to fill yourself up! The delicious cupcakes I make at Sugarcube Corner! I make the best in the wide world of Equestria! I think I may have some Rainbow Dash Fruit flavor in my cellar. Sorry, I was thinking of how much fun I’m going to have with Rainbow Dash later and accidentally wrote her name down! I guess we all make mistakes sometimes!
Applejack just came in and I told her all about what I’m writing and asked me to put this in the book: ‘It’s fun to kick trees to get apples from ‘em. Eatin’ the apples is fun too, but I once ate far too many, and, heheh. I dreamt I was an apple...’ Hey! I remember that, too! It was funny ‘cause I warned her she’d get a wicked bad tummyache but she still went and ate so much she fell on the ground and started foaming at the mouth. I couldn’t stop laughing, because Oh! I wonder if Applejack had fun eating too much? She says it wasn’t fun until she felt better. I guess you shouldn’t eat too much then, but I already put it in so, oh well!
Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed my guide on having fun, and make sure that if you go to the movies that you save a seat for me, Pinkie Pie! I’ve always wanted to see “The Little Colt Who Could”, but I wouldn’t mind seeing “Big Macbeth”. I dunno! Anyway, take the advice from your Auntie Pinkie Pie and have as much fun as you can! Brought to you by Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle and Spike and Rarity and Applejack and Deg Root, and Celestia and the person who’s on the computer right now reading this!
Oh, I forgot to mention! If you see Fluttershy, tell her that the frog that I found got himself a mate and we’re having a marriage party. Then we’re going to celebrate their first day of marriage with an even bigger party! Then the next day we’ll celebrate their second day! And each and every day there will be more parties, and parties, and PARTIES!!! Wheee!
Sorry about that, Pinkie got a little excited. This is Twilight Sparkle, wishing you a good day, and I hope you enjoyed this Guide on Having Fun. Now, will someone care to buy ‘A Guide on Studying’? It’s great as a birthday presents for foals of all ages! Come on, Sweetie Belle recommends it! Here’s a comment from a satisfied customer: “Help me, Twilight’s gone insane!” Um...I think I should stop here.
