Omnomnipotent 2: The Sesame Crusades
Author's Note
Beebs
Why?
Apple Bloom woke with a start in the middle of the night.
"Was that a scream Ah heard?" Apple Bloom asked herself in her mind, which sounded Southern.
She gasped, as she heard a click-click-clacking at her window, like a scary monster tapping on her window.
*knock knock*
*crash*
Apple Bloom screamed, pulling the covers over her head. She peeped out of the covers, only seeing a ghastly hoof emerging from the freshly broken window, which was broken. Apple Bloom's teeth began chattering as she dug herself deeper into her catacomb of blanket. The moonlight cascaded against it, creating a small light inside the blanket. Before it could get any worse, a spooky shadowy figure attached to the shadowy hoof stepped into the room. The shadowy figure stood before the blanket, slowly reaching for the covers to yank them off.
As quick as a flash, the blankets were yanked off.
IT WAS PINKIE PIE!
"Did you hear that scream?" she asked frantically.
"Uh... yeah."
"I'm scared, I'm getting in with you."
Pinkie curled up into a ball and threw the blanket over herself and Apple Bloom.
"Eh... Pinkie?"
"Uh-huh."
"What are ya doin' in mah house?"
"... You wanna hear a story?"
"... Well, I'm up. Might as well."
They looked up to the sky. The brightness of the sun made them shield their eyes. Aria almost teared up at the sight. Sunset Shimmer nearly threw up. Twilight didn't really know what to think. Nothing really seismic or terrible was really happening, nor has anything changed. Except for, you know, the obvious. There were twelve godly, fuzzy figures in the sky, ominously looming over them like a tsunami bout 2 #rek u.
Nothing besides that has really changed.
"This again," Adagio said.
"So... Adagio," said Sonata.
"Yes," Adagio said bitterly.
"I see you're no longer dead. That's nice," Sonata said, producing a cookie from nowhere and munching on it gratefully.
"Yes. I'm very much alive. And slightly pissed with you."
"Elmo no like that word!" a spartan helmet clad Elmo shouted. Immediately, Elmo conjured a spear out of the clouds and threw it at Adagio. The cloud spear impacted her body, swiftly ending her life in the quickest way imaginable. Her body was lifeless standing up with the help of the spear.
“Well shoot,” said Sonata, nomming the cookie with intensifying gratefulness.
“Very good, disciple,” shouted Cookie Monster munching on a cookie. “You get cookie!”
“Hooray!” Sonata shouted as a mountain of chocolatey goodness fell upon her like a guilty conscious.
“A ha!” someone shouted.
The eighteen (sorry, seventeen) looked to see where and who the voice came from.
“I knew there was something strange going on here!” Human Twilight shouted.
And she was promptly eaten by a giant, furry elephant.
“Snuffleupagus, that wasn’t very nice,” the bird deity said.
“I’m sorry. She just looked so tasty,” he said, the crunch of Twilight's bones making a very potato-chip-like noise.
"Welp, sometimes you shouldn't do something just because you want to," said the bird deity to the... elephant... bear... thing... deity. "Do you know what willpower is, Snuffleupagus?"
"No, Big Bird. What is willpower?"
"Well-"
"Are they going to sing?" asked Sonata.
"Yes, disciple! Very good. You get 'nother cookie!"
"Hooray!"
"I've had enough of cookies!" Aria shouted.
"Please don't sing about willpower," Sunset shouted.
"Elmo want to sing about willpower!" Elmo slammed his fists against his cloud throne. Stray bolts of lightning shot forth, striking Adagio. Who was still dead.
"Adagio's dead," said pony Twilight.
And then suddenly, a mighty tremor interrupted literally everything. A massive fissure opened. From it arose the jolly green giant. Oscar the Grouch.
"Shut up!" he snapped. Then immediately returned to his underworld.
"Oscar, that wasn't very nice," Big Bird said again.
"Wait, who said they're tired of cookies?" Cookie Monster shouted with godly rage.
"Okay, bored now, leaving." Pinkie jumped out of the bed, using Apple Bloom's face as a launchpad.
"Ow." Apple Bloom jumped out of bed as well. "Wait, Ah wanna hear the rest of the story."
"Seriously?"
"Yeh."
"Alright, it's Pinkie time!"
"No, Pinkie, no!"
Aria was now a smoldering pile of rubble. That smelled like cookies.
Elmo laughed. His laugh was so powerfully joyous and wonderful that it could have brought the dead back to life.
And it did.
However, they forgot to remove the spear.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH," said Adagio. "AAAAAAAAHHHH-"
Her screaming was cut silent when another spear entered her body with extreme force.
"And stay dead!" shouted Elmo.
"I'm... I'm going home. You have fun... with... this." Pony Twilight walked into the statue. Only to discover the portal had closed. She would now remain in that world for the rest of her days.
Which was probably, like, one.
"I want more cookies!" Sonata yelled.
"Cookie Monster like you! You come with me."
Cookie Monster laid his fuzzy, omnomnipotent hand upon the ground. Sonata excitedly climbed onto his palm. He closed his hand and held his hand high to the heavens. Cookie Monster ascended from his cloud throne and disappeared into the depths of space.
"What?" Sunset Shimmer asked.
"I'm not feeling too philosophical tonight, Apple Bloom."
"That's okay. What you had was good enough," she said over confusing laughter.
"Thanks. I'm gonna-"
*BAM*
"What the buck is goin' on in here?" Applejack shouted, southernly.
"Howdy, Applejack!" Pinkie waved.
"Pinkie, get out."
"Okay."
Pinkie hopped out the window.
"Second story house," Apple Bloom called after her.
"AAAAAHHHHH," philosiphied Pinkie. *CRACK.*
Apple Bloom and Applejack waited a moment.
"I am okay. Sort of."
"Good enough fer me. G'night, Apple Bloom."
"No, wait, come back, I'm hurt!"
"G'night Pinkie Pie." Apple Bloom shut the window, even though it was broken.
"I know you can still hear me, please halp."
THE END???
