Rock ☾ Equestria

by Blind Gardener

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Spike, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 16291

Rock Moon Equestria: One day Twilight Sparkle wakes up in an alternate Equestria. An archipelago of island cities populated by humans, elves, and other fantasy creatures. A world of Clockwork and Magic.

Twilight Sparkle, element of magic and hero to equestria, woke one day to find herself in a completely different world. There she is a pampered noble's daughter, and the most promising young sorceress of her era.

She tried to play along, but she quickly became lonely and began to miss her best friends. So she snuck off, out of her father's estate and into the city, drawn by a familiar pull that she could not quite understand. There she encounters the dopplegangers of her friends.

Now she needs to find a way to get back home, by finding her own doppleganger, while beset by mercenaries hired by Shining Armour and her parents to get her back.

But are the the dopplegangers really the elements of harmony she once knew and loved? What is up with the imaginary versions of her friends hanging out in Twilight's head? Will returning home bring them with her?

Should she really be working with these violent creatures if she doesn't know for sure?

Art courtesy of the Marvelous Magello!

(Pronounced "Rock Moon Equestria")

According to reader comments, highlights include a fast talking, foul mouthed, cockney Rarity and Fluttershy as an ambiguously sexy nun.

Published 2015-02-26 06:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-08 06:55:44 UTC

1: A Most Shocking Awakening

Twilight Sparkle had had a long night. It had been game night. Rainbow Dash had kept insisting that oxyphenbutazone was not a word, and demanding a rematch. Pinkie Pie and Applejack had gotten into a skee ball competition that Dash had eventually joined after her pezuña-a-pezuña rematch with Twilight had gone badly. Fluttershy and Rarity had tested their fine manipulation skills in a game of Jenga and Twilight had joined in, until Spike accidentally brought the tower down with his godlike snacks. She licked her lips in her sleep, remembering the nachos Spike had put together, and rolled over in her bed, moving her left hand easily up to cushion her long thin ear against the pillow.

Wait.

Her face scrunched up as she pondered exactly what felt wrong, eyes half open.

HAND?!

Her sleepy eyes snapped the rest of the way open!

Twilight bolted out of her richly canopied bed, got tangled in the decadently thick down comforters that had apparently been decorated with her cutie mark, and tumbled across the floor, carpeted with intricate interlocking patterns of rugs. She face planted in a small wicker basket that held...

Her lips curled into a soft smile, as her wings relaxed against her side. It looked sorta like a very small purple and green dragon, about as long as Twilight's current armspan, and about as thick around as Twilight's thigh at the thickest point. Two intricate wings of stained glass and bronze sprouted from his back, and he was curled up in a small coil, head resting on his own hunches on a pillow in the basket. He had a small purple collar, with the name 'Spike' written on it.

Twilight pushed herself unsteadily to her feet as the small dragon woke from the commotion and unwound itself sinuously from the basket and crawled up her leg and torso with a quick pricklepater of small claws. Her wings ruffled with the prickling, before settling down again. He wound around her neck like a very large and heavy necklace, then patted her on the ear before releasing a quick puff of green smoke. Within moments the small creature was letting off a soft rumble that sounded like a combination of a purr and a snore. It kinda tickled! Twilight rose a hand to her mouth as she giggled, then lost her balance and gyrated her hands wildly, ears following the motions of her hands, before falling to the ground.

She puffed her cheeks contritely, then gently exhaled. Picking herself once more, and finding herself subjected to another quick pat on the ear by spike, she looked around the spacious room for a mirror. She turned her head slowly and carefully, eyes darting about as she identified objects in the room. Bookshelf with books about magic. Bookshelf with books about engineering. Work table strewn with crystals and scraps of brass. Toolrack... Mirror!

Carefully, occasionally dropping to four limbs when her balance failed her, Twilight stumbled her way over to the gilt-framed mirror. The frame was heavy and old, with symbols of her brother's shield, her stars, and her father's moon all worked into the rim. She glanced into the silvered glass and was astonished at what she saw.

She rounded her lips into a tiny o. It reminded her of where she had been when she was tracking down her lost crown. She was balancing on two thin legs, her skin was the usual shade of purple, and was roughly 'human'. What was different this time around was that she had kept her wings, a short horn, and long purple hair that rippled down her back. Her ears were long and thin, with small tufts of magenta fur dangling from the tips. Her clothing was a simple night-dress, smooth and silky against her skin. Through the silk, on her hip, she could see her cutie mark sparkling gently. She was pretty sure humans normally wore more than this, so step one was to get dressed. She guessed that the door next to the mirror was the closet, and slowly reached for it, repositioning her wings for stability as she smoothly slid the door open.

Twilight opened the door to reveal utter darkness. There was a soft clicking sound overhead, followed by a loud warm humming sound. Lights slowly flickered on across the ceiling, revealing the contents of the room. Racks of dresses, piles of chemises, rows of shoes, and boxes of socks and underthings all meticulously organized by some arcane criteria that Twilight could not grasp lined the narrow room. Leather and lace were the primary themes of the room, with some gears, wires, and crystals making up a running sub-melody.

Twilight stared into the massive walk in closet, then let out a deep breath that she hadn't realized she had been holding. Whomever lived in the room she had woken in was certainly a clothes horse, but she had only a vague idea of what sort of outfits were appropriate for which situation. This was a far cry from the simple outfits she had worn in the other human world. Rarity would have loved this.

Her ears drooped as she thought of Rarity. She imagined Rarity there, standing beside her, gasping in pleasure. She imagined the fashionista fired up with energy, grabbing outfit after outfit in her magic, and holding them up to Twilight, only to reject them one after another."This one doesn't match your hair," she'd say or "That one has suffered from too much décollage.," or "Oh, this one's really designed with somepony like me in mind dear, I can put up with some discomfort in the name of fashion. I, however, would certainly not recommend it for you. You would be far too stiff in it, and uncomfortable as well."

Twilight attempted to mimic the pretend Rarity's actions, only to find her magic weak, flickering around the objects she was trying to lift. She placed her hands firmly on her hips and tried again, more commandingly. Her magic was still weak, and slow to respond. The room filled with a slight taint of ozone, tickling her nose.

She scrunched her brow tightly. Weak was the wrong word. Unsuited to this task would be more accurate. She could feel her magic, and it was certainly powerful, but it did not want to focus nor flow properly without a spell matrix. Instead of simply following the shortest possible route, the normally sharp magic currant widened as it flowed away from Twilight, and the magic was even evaporating around the edges of the flow. Once it reached the target, it expended its energy in an undirected, inefficient way. She was probably warming the target more than she was moving it.

She bit her lip, pondering the implications. Her eyes narrowed. The most likely explanation for the evaporation was that there was simply less ambient magic available in the air. The spreading was most likely due to a similar cause, though it would be easier to overcome, simply weaving a tight spell matrix into her normal TK should fix that.

The wastefulness of the energy was the most curious of the oddities. It, ultimately, should have just followed her will. She brought a hand to her lip and began rubbing the side of a finger against her teeth. Still a problem that could be overcome by weaving a better spell matrix, but the difference drove home how alien this world was compared to her own. TK should not require a spell matrix in the first place! Worse, the magic here was stiffer, drier, and harder to direct than the magic she was used to. It would certainly be more effort to weave a spell in it. She huffed irritably as she began to plan out experiments to determine the differences.

Spike gently prickled Twilight's neck with a claw, to draw her out of her musings, causing her to squeek, jump, flap her wings, and fall forwards. She hit the ground nose first, and cried out in pain, rubbing her nose. She was fortunate that the floor was covered with such thick shag carpeting. Spike swarmed up to her nose, licking at it worriedly, and crooning at her. She tried to glare at the little dragon, but couldn't keep it up as he showed his obvious concern.

With a sigh, she softened her glare and carefully brought herself back to her feet. Spike gave her a toothy grin, and patted her nose, before pointing at the clothing.

Right! Twilight was supposed to get dressed! Her ears perked up as she looked around, once again bringing up an imaginary construct of Rarity to help her decide. In the end she chose a flowing purple dress with warm ruffles down the front, and a pair of comfortable magenta silk slippers. She grinned to herself, brushing her hair out of her eyes as she basked in Imaginary Rarity's approval.

Spike launched himself from her neck, and the surprise nearly knocked Twilight over once more. She grabbed at the rack of clothing to steady herself, then stood back up to stare at the little dragon. Spike was doing loop-de-loops in the air, almost managing to form a heart shape with his long, sinuous body, before pointing her to a low table tucked out of sight in the closet. Twilight walked over to it. Her face broke into a wide grin, and crinkles formed around her eyes, as she saw that it was a small sitting stool and a writing table. The stool was short and well padded, and the table was carefully joined.

Sitting on the table were a brown leather book, a inkwell, and what appeared to be a fake feather pen made entirely of glass, as well as a carefully decorated stained glass box of small gems set in biscuits labeled 'Spike Snacks'. Glad some things were still normal, she pulled a biscuit with an tourmaline in it, and tossed it up to Spike, who caught it midair in his tiny claws, and began nibbling on it, crooning. He quickly landed to wrap around some of the supports on the table.

She carefully opened the book, using just the tips of her fingers to touch it, licking her lip nervously as she did so.

Property of Twilight Sparkle of the DeMysier house. If lost return to 509 Artisan Straight way, box 117. The brass plate within the cover loudly pronounced in friendly, bold, letters. On the other side, in exquisitely delicate handwriting Twilight's Journal of Thoughts and Experiments. Reproduction and reading by unauthorised personnel is prohibited. This means you, Shiny.

Twilight stared intensely at the first page, looking for some hidden meaning. This wasn't her hoofwriting, but it was the sort of hoofwriting she had wished to have possessed before realizing that, while she was powerful, she would never have the precision in her TK that Rarity seemed to possess in spades. She gently rolled her tongue in her mouth. Did she qualify as 'authorized'? She was Twilight sparkle, for certain. But she was not the Twilight Sparkle who wrote this journal.

Spike chirped at her, noticing her hesitation, and reached down to the book. He turned the page with a quick flip of his tiny claws. Nothing untoward happened. With another teasing chirp, and a slow blink directed right at her, he returned to his comfortable position.

Eighth of February, 1913

This is my first entry in this journal. The old one got full up with drawings and pictures. Shining and Cadence took me out to Fancy Pant's store to buy a new one. It was very exciting. Fancy Pants is a human, not an elfin like me, Shining, and Cadence. He showed me some magic tricks, but they weren't real magic because he didn't use any mana. I still don't know how he did it!

She skipped ahead a little past the youthful drawings and entries. In her intense interest, she didn't notice herself absently plucking a loose feather from her own wings.

Eighteenth of August, 1914

Today I found a most unusual egg in the garden. I saved it from a weasel. Cadence said that weasels are eggsuckers, and asked me if I wanted to cook and eat the egg. She said it wouldn't hatch without a mommy to care for it. I told her I could care for it. She helped me set up an incubation chamber for the egg, but said it probably wasn't fertilized and probably wouldn't hatch.

Twilight blinked and chewed thoughtfully on the feather she had plucked. Was this how she had met Spike in this world?

Twentyfirst of June, 1915

The egg finally hatched. I had earnestly nearly lost faith (isn't earnestly a darling little word?). I never quite matched the egg with any of the ones in my books. I was quite surprised to find out it was some sort of baby lizard! I think he's a Dragon, but he's much smaller than the dragons father meets with. I asked Cadence, and she left for the stacks. When she returned she indicated that it might be a Fairy Dragon, except that he is lacking in wings. This little one is quite spiky, which immediately suggested a good name for him. I believe I will call him Spike.

They say fairy dragons are just as smart as we are. I wonder if that is true. Also, I must remember to thank Shining for that thesaurus he got me last Hearth's Warming Eve.

The writing was improving as she navigated through the book, and the illustrations became less childish. Now they were drawings of magic leylines and mechanical devices. Many of them seemed functional, with parts labeled. Some of the mechanical devices seemed to be designed to run partly off of magic. Twilight by now was leaning deeply into the journal in fascination.

She gathered, from social details, that Cadence was a young noble who was helping to raise and train Twilight due to favors owed between their houses. She also clearly had something for Shiny even in this world. Twilight's parents were the mayor, and the guild leader of the island. Shiny was admiral of the anti-piracy naval task force. There was no mention of Princess Celestia, nor Luna.

First of July, 1916

None of my family will talk about Cadence anymore. As suddenly as she swept into my life, she's gone, leaving behind only memories of happiness and ladybugs. Whenever I mention her to Shiny, he looks sad and changes the subject. I know they were dating, I saw them kissing in the halls more than once!

Before she arrived, I never minded the solitude of living on the estate, but now... I feel alone. Not even spike can cheer me up. I want to go elsewhere. I want to explore. I'm supposed to inherit my family's fortunes and manage the estate as some sort of quasi-immortal ruler, like Cadence was for house Jemi. But how can I do it without more life experience, without awareness of the events occurring outside our cinderblock walls? I need to get away.

On a happier note, my parents agreed to buy some corpses from the morgue for my medical studies on the biologies of the various races. My notes and sketches should take up the next few pages.

Twilight grimaced, and had to work her throat a little to keep her gorge down when she saw the... detailed drawings of corpses and their contents, each bit labeled. She continued to read through the journal.

Apparently Twilight Sparkle, or at least the one here, was some variety of rare hybrid between winged sky elves, and horned 'crystal' elves. Her brother shining was actually her half brother. Since hybrids were so rare, and most of them were sickly enough not to survive past toddlerhood, it was traditional for married couples of mixed heritage to have children with friends to secure their lineage. She shuddered to think of her mother getting with anyone, let alone a stallion outside her family. It was also odd to think of Night Light as having wings.

It was clear also that her parents, and brother, both loved her dearly. A bit too dearly, in fact. The Twilight who had lived here had found their love stifling.

There was no further clarification on the mystery of Cadence's disappearance, but another of the entries caught her eye.

Third of November, 1916

Spike noticed my loneliness, and has been redoubling his efforts to cheer him up. In thanks I have decided to get him a heartswarming Eve present. Other fairy dragons have wings. I believe that the reason he does not is some form of birth deformity. I intend to correct this for him with a most marvelous prosthetic. I will need to make a list of supplies.

What followed was a collection of drawings of the small copper and glass wings attached to Spike. They were apparently mostly powered by magic, both intrinsic to spike, and general in the area. They also had a bunch of special attachments that Twilight could make no sense of. By now she was nearly out of pages. She turned to the final page, and a note fell out.

To whomsoever is replacing me.

The date is 5th May, 1922. Your name is now Twilight Sparkle. I have instructed Spike to be gentle with you, and to help teach you how to take my place. I have left for Avalon to find Cadence. Do not follow me. When I have found her, I will return and send you back to when and where you belong. If you do anything to upset father and mother, or Shiny, I will be quite put out with you. While you await my return, please enjoy the wealth and status that my life gives you. Do not look for the next journal. I will have it with me as I will need it for my voyage.

Yrs

Twilight Sparkle

Twilight slammed her palm against her face, and dragged it downwards, contorting her features. Of all the selfish, self centered, irresponsible things!

A twinge reminded her that she had biological needs. She crossed her legs in consternation. "Uh... Spike? Where's the bathroom?"

The little dragon let off a peel of laughter like silver bells, and took off to show her the way.

After she had used the facilities, and cleaned herself up, Spike gently guided her through the halls to a small dining hall. He helped her grab a blank notebook, and a pen before he allowed her to leave the bedroom. Fruit and pastries sat out on the table, as did several varieties of fried meat. The smell made her mouth water, but the thought of eating meat churned her stomach. The combination of the two made her break out into a pale, shuddery sweat.

"Are you alright, Mademoiselle Sparkle?" A light blue colored sky elf in a maid's outfit asked her.

"Yes I just... feel a little ill this morning. I believe it's my time of month" Twilight improvised, with nervous darting eyes, remembering many railings in the journal against said time. The biological mechanisms were fascinating...

"Up all night again working on your newest toy then?" The maid asked pointedly "You always use that excuse. As if we maids wouldn't notice that we weren't having to clean stained night-things when it actually is your time. I'm afraid I'll have to tell the mistress"

The injunction against upsetting her new mother fresh in her mind, Twilight shook her head. Violently. "Please don't tell Mom" she pleaded "I'm working on a present for her."

"Alright, I won't," the maid said kindly. "But in exchange, I'll be eating that meat of yours. Can't have bacon on a delicate stomach, can we?" the maid giggled impishly, stealing the offending plate away.

Twilight watched the maid dance off, wondering if this was normal behavior. She had almost sounded like Trixie. She turned her attention away from the odd maid, and back to the food on the table. It was gone faster than she had expected. She guessed the large portion sizes were possibly due to magic burning calories. Another difference between her own world and this one.

One spectacular belch later, and she decided to take a jog around the house to burn some calories just in case. With her hands over her mouth to prevent a repeat of the gaseous incident. From the looks of things today was some sort of day of rest. She was pretty sure if she had tutors scheduled today, Spike would have made her aware of them. She hoped. She found herself glancing around for a clock, as though afraid she would be late. Definitely best to look around just in case.

It didn't take long to explore the parts of the estate that she was permitted to visit, which allowed Twilight to become certain that there were no classes scheduled today. The other Twilight's life was certainly limited. She was only allowed into what was, by her calculation, a little more than a sixth of the estate. She stomped with frustration, as she stalked the halls back to her room and workshop.

She might have forgiven it, if the staff hadn't informed her that large portions of the massive library were also off limits to her. Apparently she wasn't allowed any texts on navigation, nor atlases. Even history was a limited subject for her. The other Twilight had apparently attempted to flee more than once, and as a result the present Twilight found her every book request scrutinized and treated with the same level of suspicion that a pony would have before handing a knife to a diamond dog.

Only Spike biting her between the thumb and the forefinger had stopped her from revealing to the librarian the truth in an effort to get around the restrictions. That event had made her wonder how he knew what she was about to do, and turned her mind to a different track. As a result of the change in gears, she carried in a bag on her back several books on passive mind magic. Active mind magic was also denied to her.

She gritted her teeth, continuing to stomp as she passed through the beautiful marble hallway on the edge of her garden. Her garden had been a nice surprise when she first found it. It was peaceful, and the other Twilight had picked out the plants growing in the small interior courtyard. Most of them were useful in some way or another, and somehow the gardener, Green Gimbal, that worked for Twilight was managing to grow a Kumquat tree in the same climate as a date tree. She relaxed a little as she stepped past the arches in the hall, her mantled wings slowly relaxing to her sides.

Still, far too soon, she was out of sight of the garden again, and on her way to the workshop. She scratched her head gently. She was starting to feel a little sorry for the other her. Still angry though. Just because her life sucked didn't give her the right to thrust someone else into it. Setting her teeth, she marched on.

At first Twilight didn't understand the meaning of the bell that began to interrupt her studies. She was already remastering her TK! It wasn't until Spike wrapped his tail around her arm and began to drag her forcefully out of the workshop that she realized it must be something important. Her ears drooped a little, as she felt sorry for fighting so hard. This was clearly something important. Soon she was dragged before a pair of large double doors she had not been permitted to enter earlier. Cautiously, she pushed her way through. Her lips spread into a wide O, and her eyebrows became one with her hair as she took in the scene.

A large table sat in the middle of the grand room, sitting on a rich purple carpet. Overhead an extraordinarily filigreed chandelier sparkled with all the vivid colors of the night sky, reflecting dancing lights on the ceiling and walls. Sitting at the table were six ponies... Twilight's thoughts skittered to a halt. People. Not ponies. Right. She shook her head vigorously to clear her thoughts and started forward. One of the people was clearly Shiny, dressed in a suit of red and gold. Two were clearly her parents, Night Light, and Twilight Velvet. Night Light was in an older deep purple tailed coat with blue wainscotting and gold highlights. Velvet wore a particularly fluffy gown, with a frilled neck and a high hairdo strung with gems. The other three's identities escaped her, but none of them were any younger than Night Light, nor Twilight Velvet.

She took a quiet, uncertain seat at the table, and decided to follow the other's cues for the conversation. The first course was some sort of salad, and she ate of it heartily, before she noticed Velvet's upset glare. "Dear, I know you are angry at me for canceling your trip to the university, but you shouldn't eat like a porcine in retaliation. Especially not in the company of Sir Truth Hawk, Dame Heart Dale, and Mr Grump Burn. They're very influential people you know."

"... Sorry" Twilight managed, bending over her plate, eyes squeezed shut, and ears drooping.

"I am so sorry, but you know how young women sometimes get, you've raised several of your own after all." Velvet went on to Dame Heart Dale."

She listened into the conversation, but it was honestly boring. She took notes inside her head in an effort to relieve the tedium. Next course out was soup, which she drank slowly and carefully. Shiny glanced around to make sure that the older people were deep in their conversation, then he bent carefully over to whisper to her "I'll be able to take you around town tomorrow," he said. "If you're well behaved I'll take you onboard my ship."

She almost felt better, and had felt her cheeks raising. But that final comment made her feel pandered to and babied. She wasn't even the person they were trying so hard to protect. Cheeks falling once more, she turned to the main course that had been slipped in front of her during her moment of distraction.

Meat.

She scowled and stabbed it viciously with the fork, sawed with the knife, and brought a chunk to her mouth. She opened up... and gagged, nearly spraying vomit-sweet saliva across the table. Coughing violently she slammed it back onto the plate. She couldn't do it. Not yet, at least. "I'm not feeling very well." She announced. "May I be excused?"

"Oh dear, what's wrong?" Velvet asked, suddenly at her side. Twilight almost thought she had teleported. "I just feel..." she flapped her hands uncertainly. "Out of sorts. I don't want to disrupt dinner."

"Oh, I shall contact the nurse at once. We shall get you a nice posset and some tincture of poppy" Velvet declaimed, gently ushering the young woman she believed to be her daughter out of the dining room.

Armed with a warm drink, and some sort of tea made out of poppies and poppy milk, Twilight sat in the richly canopied bed, legs kicking as they dangled over the edge. "Enjoy your new life" she sarcastically said to herself, teeth set to edge and voice piped through her nose. She reached for the journal to re-read it for clues. "Some new life"

It was gone.

Her half lidded eyes shot open once more and her legs stopped kicking. She took a deep breath, then stopped, realizing that a scream of frustration would bring unwanted attention. She flailed around with her arm looking for the journal, then began digging through the room, and through the closet. Had Shining taken it? No. Who? Her thoughts flashed back to the oddly behaving maid she had encountered earlier. It couldn't be... could it?

Several blocks away, the Great and Powerful Trixie had dropped the illusion giving her wings and hiding her horn. She had acquired what she was looking for from the house of the Sparkles, and more besides. She grinned sharply, her teeth almost appearing shark like, as she read the note entitled To Whomsoever. There would be very that she wouldn't be able to buy, beg, borrow, steal and blackmail with this little gem by her side.

Author's Note

This is from a dream I had. Well, at least it is to start with.

Props to smxsonic again! He's a great prereader because he pokes me in the direction I need to take the story!

2: The Susurrus of Soft Spoken Souls Sighing Shyly

7th July 1922.

Twilight Sparkle paced tightly in the other Twilight's large room. She was sick of waiting for the other hoof to fall. It had been four months since the journal and note had been stolen. Four months of stilted, formal dinner conversations twice a week, with only the servants and spike to keep her company other days. Due to her illness that first day, Shiny hadn't been permitted to take her out to see the city. Before they could get a second chance, he had left on a pirate hunting expedition.

She didn't know how dangerous pirate hunting was exactly, but the way Mrs. Velvet bit her lip whenever she spoke of it certainly implied it wasn't safe. She sighed, closing her eyes as she continued her frantic pacing. She liked Shiny, he reminded her of her brother far more than the two caricatures in charge of her new life reminded her of her parents. A tear dripped down her cheek. He basically was her brother, with all of his mischief, boldness, and care except for an undercurrent of sadness that he had been unwilling to speak of during their all-to-short times together. She wished she had been brave enough to tell him about her situation, or ask him about Cadence.

"And what exactly", her imaginary Rainbow Dash asked her, "Would you tell him? 'I'm sorry, I'm not the sister you know, but some interdimensional being who is the sister of some other Shining Armour who was slotted into your sister's place while she left to go on an adventure'. Yeah. Fat chance of that producing a reasonable result. If he didn't believe you, he'd probably tell Twilight's parents, and they'd ship you off to the loony bin! If he did believe you, what then? You'd be lucky if he reacted as well as you did when you discovered that Crysalis was replacing Cadence!"

Imaginary Applejack shook her head, twitching her ear irritably at imaginary Rainbow Dash. "Aww, don't you believe that braggart none at all. Ain't nothing wrong with the honest simple truth, hon. I reckon that if you approached him and told him yourself, he wouldn't be none too angry. I reckon he'd even be willing to help get your flank home. It'd be better than sitting here waiting for the apples to fall outta the trees on their own." Twilight pretended to glance between the two imaginary ponies, uncertain which imaginary best friend she agreed with more. She laughed harshly at herself as the absurdity of her own musings caught up with her, bitter tears roiling down her face with the laughter.

New information had come up in the search for Celestia and Luna. There were five major divinities, and four of them had forbidden names for various reasons. The twin divinities of the Day and Night sounded like Luna and Celestia, except that they never showed themselves to their followers. Also their followers generally got along in general while arguing on every specific.

The Divinity of the Forgotten Tyrant was a frightening and dark religious movement. Twilight wasn't sure if it was Tirek or Sombre. Either way, Twilight had figured it was a name to run away from very quickly. Worship of Discord was also a thing here, though the Discordians also venerated a goddess named Eris and, for some reason, rhubarb chocolate pies and a golden apple. Twilight, upon reading these facts, had shaken her head and rolled her eyes.

The final religion was the first mention Twilight had seen of Arcadia, and it was the worship of the fae, strange creatures that came from the fae-realms. Arcadia was said to be their capital island within the fae-sea. Upon reading this, Twilight had decided that this world she had come to was even less imaginative when it came to names than her own. Ponyville was badly named yes, but Fae this and Fae that showed a far greater dearth of imagination.

Every day of those four months, when Twilight woke, she had wondered who had the note, and what they were doing with it. She hadn't seen the light blue elfen maid again. The other housestaff, whom Twilight now knew by name, had explained that no one matching the mysterious maid's description had worked here in more than two years. Twilight shook her head sharply to clear out her thoughts and stared at the wood paneling surrounding her room. It was covered with carvings that at first appeared to be geometric, but closer inspection showed them to be highly stylized carvings of farms, ships, potters, castles and other elfen works.

She imagined Pinkie Pie's voice telling her "Everything's going to be O.K Twilight, really! We've been in worse situations and gotten through them alright, together. I mean, I know we're not together now, but we're in your heart helping you, so it's like we're together only we're not really! So it's the same thing, basically. Don't be sad, just imagine the things that make you happy here! Think of the things you enjoy, and laugh the icky meany bad sadness away, like Pinkie Pie!"

She thought of the books in the library, and learning how to account for the differences in this world's magic field. She could tell, from the records she could find, that she already had far better control and understanding of magic than her local counterpart, but she had years before she'd be able to catch up with the other Twilight's understanding of machinery and tools. She also couldn't find any trace of the spell that had been used to bring her here... if it even was a spell. She was beginning to doubt that the thing that had brought her here was entirely magical, or at least entirely compatible with the magic she could touch.

There were other strands of magic in the air, strange and alien undercurrents, like new age, experimental instruments added to a classical orchestra. She had not noticed them her first night here, but were beginning to stand out darkly against the bright neon threads of the harmonious magics she normally worked. She yearned to work them, but so far could only maintain contact with them for the faintest of breaths. She was sure they were involved in whatever magics had brought her here.

The servants were not bad company, not really. Twilight had started getting to know them, something she was certain her predecessor had never bothered with.

Copper Pot aspired to be a chef, and he had helped Twilight get the nutrition she needed while avoiding red meat. She had been the first to notice Twilight had changed, and Twilight had played along with Copper's assumptions as to why. Apparently increased humility and the rejection of red meat were local signs of a person who was seeking wisdom. It wasn't too far from the truth, really, Twilight always seized wisdom with both hooves when possible. The other Twilight's parents hadn't even noticed the decreased red meat consumption and corresponding increase in the consumption of fish, cheese, and eggs.

Dusty Skies was a musician in her free time. She collected old folk songs and played them to rowdy taverns. She had even been willing to teach some to Twilight, who's favorite was an old ditty called 'the lonesome traveller'. Twilight smiled warmly, remembering the night she had spent making music together with Dusty Skies. When she left this place, she'd miss her.

Dry Clean was a bit stuffy, and acted like he had a rod of iron where his spine should be. He had served in the navy under Shiny, until he had taken a cannonball to the arm. His prosthetic worked, but not well enough to be trusted in combat. Shiny had hired him for the job here, and he had taken it very seriously. Getting him to open up to Twilight had been quite difficult, and required several applications of her beginner's distilling experiment.

Dulce de Leon was a cheesemaker, and worked the alchemical stills making healing poultices for sick and injured staff. Twilight had traded a recipe for foal formula she had learned from the Cakes back in Equestria for recipes for samples of the liniments, rubs, and the primitive antibiotics she would need for her journey.

There had also been a tugging at her heart. It was growing stronger, closer. It reminded her of the feelings she had felt in Ponyville, leading her to the other elements of harmony. It was a clue, but not one she could explore while locked up in this mansion. Maybe her friends had been brought here, and maybe they were looking for her, taking the places of the people who had once been them. Maybe the elements of Harmony existed here too, and she could use them to get home. Maybe, maybe... Maybe.

She fell back onto the carpeting, causing Spike to squeak and rusle out of his basket to fawn over her, and make sure she was O.K. He licked at her salty face, cleaning off the tears, as she imagined Spike, her Spike, speaking "Come back soon, Twilight." he told her, "We miss you."

She made up her mind. She would find a way out of this gilded prison and hunt down the other Twilight. Then she would force her to send. her. home. "Buck. This." she said, standing herself back up. Spike chirped and chittered distressedly. "I don't mean you Spike, you're wonderful really. I just... I just wish you were my Spike." Spike patted her cheek helpfully.

9th July 1922

Despite her declaration of readiness it had taken a day and a half for Twilight to prepare for her escape attempt, partly because she wanted to make it on a sunday. She had all the supplies together, and sat down with her imaginary friends, specifically Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, to discuss the sneaking plan.

She had already dressed for the event, wearing a simple skirt over breeches, a pair of comfortable shoes, a pair of adjustable goggles, a simple corset with hidden pockets for money in it as well as a watch, a black hat for style at Imaginary Rarity's insistence, a pair of fingerless gloves for a combination of dexterity and warmth and a leather satchel with her supplies in it, including extra underwear and the all important spike snacks.

"Alright girls" she whispered to Spike and her imaginary friends. Spike chirped at her, and wound himself somewhat tighter around her arm, causing her to smile. "And Spike" she added, causing him to chirrup with satisfaction, and tuck his head against her glove.

"Here's the plan" she said while grinning and imagining herself strutting around in front of her friends, checklist in hand. "Step one, I get out of this room and raid one of the cleaning supplies closets for a mop and bucket. Step two, I cast an illusion of being a maid. Step three, I start cleaning a room. Step for, I walk out at the end of the day like I'm just another of the maids going home. Pretty cool plan, right girls... and spike?"

The imaginary girls stared at her, flabberghast. "Don't you think your parents would notice an extra maid around the place, hon?" imaginary Applejack asked, mouth still hanging open

"Nah, I don't think the nobles here really notice the servants. Dry Clean, Dusty Skies, and Copper Pot were all really surprised when I started to get to know them. I don't think Twilight ever tried to sneak out by just looking like a maid and walking out."

"Now that I think about it, you might be right there hon." imaginary Applejack agreed, eyes wide.

"Awww, this plan is boring. Where's the wiz, and the biff, and the kapow, and the..." imaginary Rainbow Dash pursed her equine lips and whistled the theme to a popular spy radio drama, 'mission impossible'. With each sound effect that imaginary Rainbow Dash spit out, imaginary Fluttershy's wings cranked a notch higher into the air.

"Well, I think it's a rather nice plan. Nopony gets hurt" imaginary fluttershy said definitively, tucking her wings neatly against her side, and turning to preen at them.

"Oh. Well... Yeah. I guess ponies getting hurt is bad." imaginary Rainbow Dash agreed with reluctant bashfulness.

"So... let's do it" Twilight said, to the general concurrence of her imaginary friends. With that, she began her plan, heading to the nearest supply closet. She couldn't help but whistle that catchy theme while song though.

It wasn't too much longer before she was out of the walled estate that the other Twilight had once called home and on the city streets. The plan's execution had been simply flawless.

Twilight was smiling and tipping her hat at the occasional passersby as she skipped through the beautiful, lamp lined streets. Spike was curled tightly around her neck, pretending to be a piece of jewelry. The lamps were made of black iron, and all had some sort magic gem on their top that glowed softly in the thick yellow fog that clung to the city. The road was cobbled, with a raised sidewalk. Trees and shrubs sat in small planters in the middle of the sidewalk, and on the other side of the sidewalk from the roads were thick walls. The walls were slightly different around each complex, and Twilight calculated that there were probably four complexes per block.

A small spluttering cart dragged forward by a copper boiler connected to the tires hiccuped and coughed its way past Twilight, trailing a choking smell of burning pine tar. She fell wheezing against a wall to support herself. Spike uncurled himself from her neck to begin angrily chirping and screeching fairy dragon curses at the retreating car. After a moment, when she had caught her breath again, Twilight patted Spike and cooed at him until he had calmed down. He placed his head gently back against her suprasternal notch with a few more muttered draconic curses.

Many of the vehicles she had seen on the road were magic powered contrivances, that sounded like an aria in her head when operating smoothly, and a discordant jarring whine when it wasn't tuned properly.

Others had been dragged by ponies that, at first, had resembled saddle arabians. Only having read about them in books in advance had kept her from trying to converse with the horses. She had still tipped her hat politely to them. This was her first time seeing one of the steam powered cars she had seen mentioned. It didn't impress her much. The magic and horse ones seemed both cleaner and more reliable.

She wasn't entirely sure where she was going, but she continued to follow the tugging she felt inside her soul. Soon she was outside what appeared to be an elaborate cathedral covered with carved granite spires that reminded her nastily of Sombre, and windows set with stained glass images of the sky at day and night. She had once believed that the stained glass in Celestia's castle was impressive, but the stained glass here put that glass to shame.

The scenes and images were made of multiple layers of glass giving them depth and warmth, making the scenes of the sky look alive. She stared in open mouthed awe, and realized that the cathedral was lighting up the stained glass from behind, to project the images from them onto the surroundings, as otherwise she likely would not have been able to see and identify the images so well from the outside.

With a quick bow to an emblazoned sun icon, and another to the emblazoned moon icon, located on either side of the massive brass studded red oak double doors, she stepped inside.

The inside was dark and thick with a chokingly sweet, cloying smoke. She couldn't identify the smell, but it made Spike sneeze and her eyes water heavily. She stumbled past the narrow wooden benches. The right half of the cathedral seemed to be dedicated to the moon, and the left half to the sun, and small candles twinkled at various altars dedicated to 'saints' such as Starswirl the bearded, and Clover the Clever.

Unable to see effectively through the thick grey tendrils of smoke, Twilight stumbled directly into a very tall, yellow, object. Twilight promptly fell backwards onto her plot. Spike unraveled himself from her neck to hiss at the obstruction, whirling his way up her arm to perch on the tip of her outstretched hand. He waggled his claws at the tall figure ominously.

"Oh. Excuse me" A gentle, familiar voice said, causing Twilight to gasp in surprise. "Oh my... Are you alright?" the tall yellow object bent down, revealing itself to be a towering lanky giant of a woman. Twilight stared up, and up, and up until she met the eyes of the crouching titaness.

The woman was dressed in a canary yellow nun's habit, with white edging. It had loose sleeves that draped below her hands. A number of white and yellow belts seemed to be connecting the large swaths of canvas that made up the fabric, holding it together. Two wings poked out from the back of the habit, fluttering loosely in concern.

The woman had a thin build, and excessively long legs. She was so tall that, when Twilight had run into her, Twilight's nose had impacted against the other woman's belly. Her features were thin and delicate, and long pink hair spilled from her hood concealing her tan features. A pair of long lashed turquoise eyes stared back at her.

"Oh, you have a pet too" She said with a smile as she took Twilight's extended hand, yanking Twilight firmly but gently back to her feet. "Hi little guy" she reached down to tickle the angry dragon under the chin. Spike immediately calmed down and started cooing back at her. She reached one long, thin, hand into a sleeve and pulled out a small cookie with a gemstone in it that she handed to Spike. He grabbed it and began munching it hungrily.

Twilight continued to stare gape mouthed at the serine, graceful, woman. The woman giggled, and reached down to gently press her finger against the underside of Twilight's chin, and carefully pushed it back shut. "You shouldn't keep your mouth open like that. A fly might get in, and then it would drown in your saliva, and that would be sad." she said melodiously.

Twilight continued to stare, her already teary eyes flooding with warm wetness. Water dripped down her cheeks, and she began to sob softly.

"You don't talk much, do you?" The taller woman said "Oh... Oh my, it looks like the smoke is getting to you, dear. Let's get you out of here. You must feel so lost and alone, you poor sweet little thing. Here, my name's Fluttershy."

Twilight coughed and spluttered as Fluttershy gently, but firmly, began to push her out of the Cathedral. "Oh look, I know I have a bad reputation, but I'm not that evil, really" Fluttershy said.

This caused Twilight to cough and splutter even more. She was choking on the smoke, on the tears, on the shock, and on her own emotions. She couldn't catch her breath, and felt a tightness in her chest and a sharp pain in her left shoulder. Roiling brown darkness was eating it's way in from around the edges of her vision, looking like a writhing mass of velveteen worms. She fell down slowly, losing strength in her legs and arms.

"Oh my!" the voice sounded like it was being spoken a thousand miles away. She barely felt the sharp claws pricking her cheek to make sure she was alright.

The world faded to brown, with the occasional bright yellow spark.

Author's Note

Props, as always, to my favorite pre-reader and my friend smxsonic!

I spent a lot of time working and re-working this one. It was fun coming up with little personalities for the serving staff that Twilight knows, which I did once I realized that Twilight as she is now would certainly have tried to befriend the maids and staff.

<< I feel like this song is a good representation of who Fluttershy is. Listen to it if you're interested! It's actually a somewhat less good representation of Rock Moon Fluttershy, but it still feels very right for her.

3: Crass and Cordial

9th June 1922

Twilight floated in the pulsing brown darkness. She felt like a pony again, and her six close friends, including spike, were floating in the darkness around her. Perplexity she could see all of them, from all angles, despite their orientation around her. She, however, could not see herself.

"You alright Twilight?" Rainbow dash asked, nudging her "All those times I joked about you over-stressing yourself and getting a heart attack... I didn't mean for you to actually do it!"

"It's not a heart attack" Rarity said, daintily, raising a dainty slipper shod hoof to the air in perfect poise. "Poor Twilight was simply overcome with emotion and fainted daintily into the arms of Miss Fluttershy over there."

"Hey!" Dash shouted at Rarity "Ponies like Twilight do not faint!"

"Oh? Then what pray tell, happened?" Rarity demanded, waiving her snout in the air dismissively, hoof still raised.

"She passed out, stoically passed out, like Darring Doo." Rainbow Dash responded smugly. "My hero training must have paid off"

"uhh, Rainbow Dash, I don't think randomly crashing into Twilight and shouting things like 'Giant spiders attack! What do you do? TOO SLOW' really counts as training." Applejack said, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof.

"Pshaw. As if that matters. Twilight is just that awesome" Rainbow Dash declared, proudly.

"I think I know what happened" Twilight's voice echoed through the brown. "When I impacted with Fluttershy, I believe I stuck my nasociliary nerve. This is a lot like hitting your funnybone in your face. I believe that the sensations from this are what caused me to lose consciousness."

The gathering shuddered collectively. "Jeez Twilight, that was as cold as ice" Spike said "You're pretending like you don't have any emotions. Relax, don't try to hide your heart from yourself. It's time to wake up."

"It's time to wake up?" Twilight asked, confused.

"Please wake up" Fluttershy's voice said. "Hello? Hello?"

"Hi Fluttershy, I can see you right there you know...." Twilight droned, confused.

"You really need to wake up now." Fluttershy repeated, a bit more firmly.

A strong stench filled Twilight's nose, causing her to jolt forward, and sneeze. She was an elf again. And sitting on a table. A hand was putting a cap on a putrid bottle right near her chest. She looked around.

"Oh good, you're awake" Fluttershy said, face right next to hers. Twilight squeaked in surprise, falling backwards. A long thin hand darting behind her caught her head before she could accidentally slam it against the table.

"I'm not that scary, am I?" Fluttershy asked gently, her soft thin face so close to Twilight's that Twilight almost thought she was going to be kissed. This was almost utterly contrary to Fluttershy's behavior back in Twilight's home. Twilight was flabbergast.

Instead of answering she glanced around again to see her surroundings. Spike was the first thing she located, the little dragon was laying next to her on the table munching on a biscuit. Next to him the small, vaguely lapin imp nibbled on its own cookie. It gave Twilight an incredibly toothy grin, and shook a tiny reflex hammer at her.

They were indoors, but they were no longer within the bounds of the cathedral. The walls were a muddy whitish brown, with wooden paneling. From the ceiling hung a simple, smokey, oil lamp chandelier. Nesting in Fluttershy's abundant pink hair was a odd looking creature. It had a very wide and red face, and long ears, with sharp pointy yellow horns. From its tiny hands emerged four sharp yellow claws, and three more from its toes. From it's back emerged a short spiked tail.

Fluttershy noticed the direction of Twilight's gaze. "Oh. That's just Angel Bunny. He's perfectly harmless." She said, gently lifting the impish creature down from her head. Angel stared at Twilight, then stuck his tongue out and razzed her, spittle landing on Twilight's face. Twilight scrunched up her face in displeasure, then her eyes widened again as Fluttershy got out a yellow tissue with an embroidery of butterflies and wiped the spittle gently, almost intimately, off of Twilight's face.

"I hate to be rude, but you still haven't told me your name. Is there something wrong with your voice?" Fluttershy asked gently.

"Twi...li" Twilight sparkle croaked her voice barely intelligible. A glass of water was efficiently pressed against her lips, and she gratefully took a drink. The glass was efficiently withdrawn, and the tissue came up once again to wipe Twilight's lips. The light touch sent small electric shudders through Twilight's body.

"There you go. Try again?" Fluttershy asked, cheeks dimpled innocently as she projected warmth. Twilight was surprised how uncomfortable it made her feel. It almost felt like Fluttershy was seeing her as a pet, or a wounded animal, instead of as a person.

"Twilight Sparkle." Twilight said, ear twitching in mildly irritated gratitude. Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Oh my. It is a very good thing I asked." The smile on Fluttershy's face turned wicked, teeth now flashing mischievously between her lips, making her look far more evil and impish than the lapin demon clinging to her arm. She saw Twilight's surprised twitch, and reached down to pat the other young woman's tummy gently. "Don't worry, dear, it's nothing bad. I'm only here to kidnap you."

The kidnapping had been fairly simple. Fluttershy had unbuckled four of the many tan belts holding her robes together, wound two of them gently but firmly around Twilight's wrists, and two around Twilight's ankles with both speed and remarkable gentleness. She leaned forward softly to give Twilight a light peck on the cheek that was probably meant to be comforting, but had simply made Twilight feel uncomfortable. Her cheek still tingled where Fluttershy had kissed it, and she suspected that some lip-gloss had been left behind.

Then Fluttershy had attached the belts on Twilight's wrists to one another, and hoisted Twilight over her head, letting Twilight's arms drop down around her neck. Then Fluttershy had pulled Twilight's ankles forward and attached those belts to one another, turning Twilight into some sort of backpack with such speed that Twilight hadn't even managed to get any sort of objection out, nor managed to react in any way other than staring shocked at the smooth efficiency of the operation.

She wound Spike gently around Twilight's wrists, and gave him a soft "Stay there" pat. Angel Bunny jumped up her sleeve, and Twilight saw him scurrying around under her cassock. Finally the tiny demon popped up at her collar and hopped into her hood to glare into Twilight's face.

Fluttershy's arms reached down and gently lifted Twilight's hams past her ankle. "We're all ready to go" She told Twilight cheerfully. "If you get tired back there, you can just press your head against my shoulder and take a nap, O.K?"

That was how Twilight had found herself nestled between this giantess version of Fluttershy's soft feathery wings, being carried like a child out of the small room that she had awoken in. Looking around over Fluttershy's shoulders, she could determine that there were other identical rooms in the narrow hall. Fluttershy quickly glided out of the hall and to a desk. She placed a handful of coins on the table in front of the worker.

"Thank you" She told the person behind the desk with a smile "She's feeling much better now, but I think she's a little sleepy, so I'm taking her home."

"And thank you, Mrs Flitterby. We always appreciate your patronage" the woman behind the desk said with a nod, pushing the coins off the desk and into some sort of drawer. "Please come again."

"Oh, don't worry, I will" Fluttershy said cheerfully as she walked out the door to the tinkling of the bell.

It had been one of the most gentle kidnappings Twilight Sparkle had been subjected to. Her ears twitched as she assessed her life choices. Being kidnapped once? Sure, could happen to anypony. Twice? Bad luck. Three or more times though... And then there were the times her friends had gotten foalnapped as well.

Twilight wondered if she was maybe doing something wrong. Maybe after she got back to Equestria, she would take Celestia up on her offer to provide Twilight with her own personal branch of the guard, much like the day and night guards. They could be called "The Twilight Brigade". She pondered what they'd wear for a uniform. Lunar guards were dark coated, and Solar guards were light coated so maybe she'd go for more energetic coats, the colors of sunrise, sunset and the aurora. A grin spread across Twilight's face as she planned. Planning was her favorite activity, after all.

She was beginning to design their imaginary uniforms when a voice cut through her thoughts. "Oy! Wotcher keister pretty cheeks. Iffen I hadn't had been all friendly like, you'd be guzzling muck outta the gutter right around now, don't cha know. Aye, muck and worse, the gutters here smell right ripe with the effluvium of human waste." The voice spoke at a rapid, yet even cadence. Fluttershy had gone stiff under Twilight's weight, and Twilight craned her ears and neck to search for the source of the sound from her perch on Fluttershy's back.

"Oh, well, I would have been paying more attention if I didn't know that someone I trusted as much as you was watching me. You are very good at protecting people." Fluttershy's warm voice responded.

"Haw. You're such a bludger. You bum around so much, you'd be half dead already were it not for that Angel Bunny of yours. You wander with your gourd far too far up other people's arses. It ain't safe." The other person responded. Twilight wasn't really paying attention, her attention drawn away by the surroundings.

The first thing she noticed was that they were no longer in a nice part of town. Most of the passerby were studiously ignoring Fluttershy and Twilight, with the cringing aura of a people who knew something was none of their business and that prying into it would bring punishment. The walls here were more wood than stone, and largely cheap pine as opposed to nice hardwood. The gutters were indeed full of human waste, both in literal sense, in the form of the collection of wastes produced by human habitation, and in a metaphorical sense, in the form of a couple of filthy figures that appeared to be unconscious in them. Twilight tried not to consider the possibility that they were dead with about the same success as one trying not to think of pink fluffy unicorns who dance upon rainbows. She grimaced at the unavoidable thought, and hoped that those people were O.K.

"I already had to hit a couple of arse clowns over the head with a lump o' brick in a sock." The other person kicked one of the figures in the gutters, causing Twilight's ears to flinch with disquiet. "Worthless slime didn't even have any flash for me to steal. Pigs need to stop expecting stupid chavs to do a real person's job."

Her attention returned to the figure, she began to inspect it in depth. It had long thin wispy ears, much like Twilight's own, and It wore upon it's head what had probably started life as a very tall stovepipe hat, much like Twilight's own. It even wore a pair of brass rimmed glasses that would have initially not looked out of place on Twilight's face. From there, however, the divergences began.

The ears sported several notches as though they had been sliced into with a knife, causing Twilight to wince in sympathetic pain, some of them even appearing deliberate, with sharp edges and defined shapes, as well as a variety of garish battered earrings and chains. The petite nose in the center of the face had a crooked look to it, as though it had been broken once or twice, and the wide mouth below it was missing a top center Incisor. The glasses were broken, the right lens cracked, and the left one so shattered that only a few shards of glass remained glued to the brass wire frame.

"So, you bringing in another of your little lost ragamuffins?" The figure asked Fluttershy

The figure was wearing several layers of motheaten, slashed, puked on, and otherwise abused clothing. The top most layer being a yellowing frilly shirt of some variety, worn under a bright blue military frock coat, with tweed patches on the elbows, and a pair of kid leather riding gloves missing random fingers. Slender hands poked through the holes in the fingers, with cracked, filthy, nails. A pair of stained brown stained pants, far too long for the owner, and rolled to cover the ankles, over a pair of boots with soles so thin that they were translucent finished the ensemble. Under all of that, the owner was probably female. She did possess Rarity's unmistakable hair, though matted and so filthy as to appear grey as opposed to Rarity's natural blue. Twilight turned her attention to the final part of the woman's couture. Her hat.

"Well, yes and no. She's certainly lost, and she clearly needs some tender love and care, but this is Twilight Sparkle." Fluttershy responded. The figure's grin widened unsettlingly.

The hat was a thing of holes and patches, some of the patches being made out of uncured mouse hide. A raggedy cat with long matted fur and crooked whiskers was sticking it's face lazily out of one of the holes. It noticed that Twilight was staring at it, and turned around to present it's anus, then it farted loudly, with a high pitched whine. The owner chuckled a horrible laugh as the sound of her cat passing gas went on, and on, and on. The horrible noise eventually stopped, as did the laughing, but the figure continued to grin rakishly. Twilight opened her mouth the speak. The cat started to fart again. The laughter began again soon after. Angel Bunny poked his head out from the front collar of Fluttershy's cassock, probably standing on her breasts. He began to raz the horrible farting cat back. Spike, the little traitor, wound around Fluttershy's neck, hiding his head in her hair.

Twilight was fairly certain that there was a section of Tartarus like this. Abruptly the noise stopped. Twilight opened her mouth to speak again, suspiciously. The cat's barrel expanded as though it was prepping another round. Twilight slammed her mouth shut. After a minute or two Twilight cautiously opened her mouth to speak once more. This time the crazed owner began to fart, with a low pitched rumble, while the cat snickered loudly. Twilight's lips twisted in frustration and disgust. "Will. You. Please. Stop. Farting."

The farting stopped. "You only had to ask" The voice responded playfully. "Though I appreciate that you didn't' interrupt it earlier. Sometimes a woman just needs to relieve her pressure. Isn't that right Flutters?"

"If you say so, Rarity" Fluttershy responded in a patronizing fashion.

Rarity grabbed a wooden shoe from one of her pockets and slung it easily at Fluttershy, who readily sidestepped. "Don't you patronize me" Rarity yelled.

"Oh, I would never patronize you." Fluttershy Responded. Rarity huffed, and looked pointedly back at Twilight.

"Sorry you have to put up with that condescending slich" Rarity told Twilight with some unusual warmth. "I'm Rarity, which is a good thing 'cause I have it on some pretty highfalutin authority that the world wouldn't survive two of me, could I even count to such lofty standards, and this is my cat the Supreme High Mugwump Opalescence, or as I call her, Scat. Short for Rarity's cat, don't you know."

It sounded like the two were insulting one another, and even fighting, but Twilight noticed something strange. Where most people would tighten up at both the insults, and the throwing of the wooden shoe, Fluttershy had relaxed gently. "I love you too, Rarity" Fluttershy murmured softly.

Rarity turned bright pink. "Now what was that? What did I tell you about saying things like that! Insult me right proper, you hear? Don't say such silly fru-fru things like that."

Fluttershy's laughter sounded like musical bells, and once again the cat snickered along. Angel Bunny joined with the sound of a saw grinding nails. Spike nestled in deeper, reaching a tender claw out to take Twilight's chin in his claw. Then he brought her face close against Fluttershy's hair, using her cheek to block the sound. An overwhelming smell of grapefruit in Fluttershy's hair drowned out the local miasma, and made Twilight flush embarrassedly.

"You traitor!" Rarity tried to shout at her hat "Jezibelle! Turncoat! When we get back on the boat, I'm giving you a bath!" The cat shut up, but after a few moments a smug look crossed the cat's face. Rarity's eyes crossed. She tore the hat off of her head and threw it to the ground, revealing a stump of a horn hidden by the hat. The stub of a horn looked like it had been sawed off near the base.

"YOU FERRET SUCKING, POPE SCHLICKING, BEAST! YOU WIDDLED ON MY HEAD! IF IT LEAKED INTO THE BOOZE...." here Rarity paused, her volume returning to a more normal, pensive tone, "well, it won't taste any worse but that's besides the point..."

Fluttershy, still grinning began to walk off as Rarity continued to shout at her smug cat. As they passed out of sight, Twilight saw Rarity pick the hat back up, cat, pee, and all, and place it carefully back on her head.

Twilight had found the whole event both horrifying and amusing. It had made her uncomfortable, just like meeting Fluttershy, but in a very different way. She imagined how her friends would react to this. Hovering upside down in the air besides her Imaginary Rainbow Dash was clutching her barrel and laughing uncontrollably, while Imaginary Rarity sat on the ground ripping apart one of her own fancy hats with her teeth in a bout of uncontrollable emotion.

"It's a travesty! A travesty!" Imaginary Rarity shouted, before pressing the scraps of her feathered hat against her face to sob uncontrollably into it.

"Oh. My. Gosh! This is the BEST POSSIBLE THING" Imaginary Rainbow dash laughed from her vantage point. "A Rarity who isn't afraid to act like a real person from time to time! This is awesome!"

"Um... I don't really mind how forwards my counterpart is" Imaginary Fluttershy said gently "I kinda... wishiwasmorelikethatmyself" She flushed pink at this admission, and at the eyes of the imaginary pony brigade now directed at her. "I don't think Rarity's acting like a real person!" She squeaked, trying to change the subject.

Twilight crooked her head to the side, wondering if her subconscious was trying to tell her that she thought Fluttershy wanted to be more forward, or if she thought Fluttershy had feelings for her. As the later had implications that she did not feel like pondering while strapped to the back of a large, strong, very forwards version of Fluttershy, she decided that it was the former. She unpaused the conversation between her imaginary friends in her head while wondering if, maybe, she had gone a little crazy.

"You know, I kinda got that impression myself" Imaginary Applejack admitted "Rarity's a mare who likes to act, and sometimes over-act," Imaginary Rarity shot Applejack a angry glare over the tattered, snot smeared remains of her hat, "and I don't think that this Rarity is any different. She might be a hair cruder than our Rarity, but I don't suppose she's any worse an actor for it."

But crazy mares didn't wonder if they were crazy right? Only sane ponies worried about that, right? How was the conversation still going when Twilight was so worried about this! Imaginary Applejack certainly made sense though, and Twilight nearly voiced her agreement when Imaginary Pinkie Pie interrupted.

"Oh oh oh! Like the way she was hiding the fact that she likes Fluttershy by pretending to be upset by her, right, right?" Imaginary Pinkie Pie said, waving a hoof in the air eagerly.

"Well, yes. Something like that" Imaginary Applejack said, "but I think it's time for us all to stop distracting Twilight. Call it intuition, but something tells me she's gonna want her wits about her pretty soon."

"Yeah, she's going to meet Rainbow Dash next." Imaginary Pinkie Pie said while bouncing.

"And how, pray tell, do you reckon that?" Imaginary Applejack returned.

"Because she's meeting them in the opposite order she met us! She met me first, then you, then Rainbow Dash, then Rarity, and then Fluttershy." Imaginary Pinkie Pie said, throwing her arms open in a rush of confetti.

"Well I'll be." Imaginary Applejack said, scritching her head as she faded from Twilight's attention. "Pinkie might be right about that."

Twilight narrowed her eyes as she pondered this tidbit of information, in addition to her own sanity, before returning her attention to her surroundings. Twilight thought that she noticed that people were watching them carefully. She also thought she noticed that some of them may have been wearing some sort of blue colored patch of fabric in a shape that might be roughly similar to Rarity's cutie mark somewhere on their clothing. But maybe, maybe, just like her friends, she was only imagining it.

Near the military shipyard, a certain light blue crystal elf in a cloak and a worn pointy hat with the faded word 'magician' embroidered into it, was sitting in a respectable officer's tavern. She was one of the few patrons neither obviously a member of the guard, a server, nor attached to a member of the guard in some way. She sat at a table in the corner, drinking. Another elf sat next to her.

"You are a very hard man to find, Mr Shining Armour" She said, not looking up from her drink.

"My people tell me you've been looking abnormally hard for a rabble rouser, Trixie." Shining Armour responded hotly, not bothering with the fiction of ordering a drink. "Tell me why I shouldn't just have you locked up on charges of sedition. After your last stunt, I bet I could get you for incitement to riot as well"

She slid a face down sheet of parchment across the bar with her middle finger towards Shining Armour. He reached for it, only for her to slap his hand away. "Ah ah ah!" She wiggled her face in his nose. "Payment first"

A bag full of coins landed on the table with a loud clatter. She opened it, and began counting, her magic continuing to hold down the note while Shining tried to pry it up. "Not enough"

"That is outrageous. This is the amount you asked for. Every last groat!" Shining hissed angrily. "What more do you want?!"

She crawled onto the bar so that her head would be higher than Shining's, then put a finger sensuously on Shining's chin, pushing it up to look into her eyes. "A kiss." Her eyes sparkled seriously.

Author's Note

Wow. Just wow. With some help from smxsonic, everything sort of clicked into place for me while writing this. It probably needs serious editing though.

Thanks to gcsmith for prereading!

<< This song is one that I listened to to help shape Rarity's personality. I used the accordion part as, basically, her lemotif. I also wanted to give her a bar because of this song, which leads into the next song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrXP5zoFxss << NSFW song that also shaped Rarity's personality (You'll get nae more tonight). Really it's more of the song that came just before. At this point in the development process I had an image of Rarity as a somewhat crass bar owner. The espionage stuff came later as I added tidbits to round out her character. Then she lost the bar because it didn't really make sense for a pirate to own a bar.

A third song that went into Rarity's personality (The Magdalene Laundries This was a minor influence. I was getting closer to who she was, and this is where her cynicism really bloomed.

one more song for rarity (Violet Hill) This is where the spy stuff came in.

(If you want to be funny, put on Mission Impossible theme)

I do recommend listening to Magdalene Laundries and Violet hill

4: Rainbow Refined, Reasonable Rates

9th June 1922

Twlight fiddled with the latches on her cuffs as Fluttershy continued to carry her through the city streets. The city was getting less cracked and poor, though it wasn't exactly wealthy looking either. The streets were now lined with a mixture of stone and wooden edifices, and the overpowering smell of fish perfumed the air. The roofs here had a trapezoidal shape to them, and paper lanterns hung from every gutter pipe. Twilight peered through Fluttershy's hair, nuzzling against the other woman's neck.

Most of the paper lanterns were painted with symbols that looked a lot like cutie marks. Others were painted with ancient writing. On blue lanterns runes for the celestial bodies, joy, and love. On white for the elements of harmony or for mourning and death. On red lanterns symbols for good fortune or vengeance in jaunty gold ink. On green life, happiness, rebirth and betrayal. Other lanterns carried intricate patterns, or landscapes, or simple abstract spin art on their surface. Others still had modern equestrian letters spelling out the names of businesses and services. Twilight watched the lanterns go past, ears perked in fascination.

The streets were thick with horses and carts, that Fluttershy deftly stepped deftly around, through, and occasionally over.

"So" Twilight asked "About those people watching us with the blue diamond patches."

"Yes?" Fluttershy asked noncommittally. She casually grabbed ahold of a passing cart, lifting herself and Twilight up as it started to speed down the street.

"Are they Rarity's?" Twilight had decided to cut to the chase, a thoughtful frown upon her face.

"My, you are an observant one." Fluttershy responded with a slight teasing lilt to her voice. "What do your observations tell you?"

"Well, they're not following us, but somehow wherever we go, there's at least one watching us. They seem to be using young, small boys and girls as runners to communicate? And I thought I saw one intercept a guard that was heading for you and start trying to panhandle from the guard." Twilight mused.

"Oh, they've stopped more than just one guard," Fluttershy responded gently, reaching up with her free hand to pat Twilight on the head. Once again Twilight felt that annoying shiver down her spine. "Still, you did a good job noticing!"

Twilight mumbled something incoherent. Even she wasn't entirely sure what she was trying to say. Some impossible to decipher combination of 'stop being patronizing', 'thanks for the compliment', 'please stop patting me' and 'that feels nice'.

Spike, the little traitor currently ensconced in Fluttershy's hair, leaned forward to lick Twilight gently on the nose. He snickered in his draconic way.

"Don't you encourage her". Twilight muttered under her breath. She quickly began preforming breathing exercises to reduce her flush.

Fluttershy released her the cart as it made a turn, and grabbed for another. This time the owner of the cart noticed Fluttershy clinging to the back. He leaned a head out of the carriage, and turned to glare in Fluttershy and Twilight's direction. "HEY! Get off of my cart!" He shouted.

"Kay" Fluttershy said, letting go and stepping back to the sidewalk. "Rude." she whispered, once he was out of earshot. She scribbled something on a piece of paper and passed it to an urchin. The urchin nodded and ran off. "Rudeness is punished by being stopped at every intersection until he reaches his destination." Fluttershy said airily, waving her button of a nose about.

Angel bunny crept up into Fluttershy's hair, stepping on Spike on the way up. He danced on Fluttershy's head energetically, wiggling his ears luridly, throwing rude gestures in the direction of the departing cart. Spike hissed annoyance at the demonic imp, the wrapped a tail around Angel's ankle. He whipped Angel forcefully off of Fluttershy's head, and began prematurely crowing his victory.

Angel slammed into the cobbles, then bounced back up. He dug his claws into Twilight's back as he skittered up her spine, finally he came to a rest in Twilight's hair. He raised a first aggressively into the air like a hoofball player celebrating victory. Then he say down and started grumbling. Twilight felt a sharp tug on her hair, and heard the sounds of chewing.

"Um, Fluttershy I don't mean to be alarming, but I think Angel Bunny is eating my hair." Twilight's voice was taut with both worry, and a desperate effort to not giggle.

"Oh, don't worry, he does that." Fluttershy said maternally. She gently plucked the tiny imp from Twilight's had, and the dragon from her own, then placed Angel on her own head, and Spike on Twilight's.

Both diminutive critters stirred, and resettled themselves gently. Spike began cooing in Twilight's ear. Angel simply crossed his arms and posed like Kublai Khan.

A few carriages later and they were outside a short, squat shop. This shop, in the local style, was bedecked with brightly colored lanterns. One of them was pale blue with Rainbow Dash's cutie mark, another had what looked like a snake on a stick. The building had narrow windows that had a protective wire mesh over them, likely to keep interlopers out. Fluttershy opened the door, and stepped boldly in.

Twilight's first impression was of living rainbows dancing. The vestibule was covered with a mad painter's brush strokes of color. A quick glance up revealed that the stubbornly bright lamps were encased in slowly rotating prismatic domes. The walls were covered with enticingly fantastical, nonsensical scenes. One fresco was of waterfalls tumbling impossibly from mist-enshrouded towers, with such attention to detail that Twilight could count the feathers on the nestlings birds in the gargoyles' mouths.

Scattered throughout the room was a disorganized melange of seating implements whose only commonality was comfort. Leather bags full of corn husks sat adjacent, and in one case on top of, silken draped chairs carved from ebony. The tinny music that echoed through the chamber made the experience even more surreal, as deep resounding chelios played second fiddle to cicada cries, bird calls, and the sound of wind and rain.

Despite its apparent chaos the room had a single focal point, the presumably mistress of the mess. She sat against the far wall, legs propped on top of a plain, battered and chipped desk that was scattered with knickknacks. A small skeleton model, a wind up turtle, a collection of footprinted papers and folders. The shapely legs were encased in some sort of aggressively fuzzy rainbow-trimmed blue fleece tubes, and the narrow feet in thick soled brown hiking boots. The far-too-short woolen skirt was in a complex weave of rainbow plaid. Over her torso was draped one of the most magnificent doctor's coats in existence.

At first Twilight thought that maybe the coat was white, but as the woman casually shifted her position, Twilight realized that the impossibly tight weave was made with many different colors, carefully balanced so that they would appear white from a distance. She idly noticed that the collar and cuffs were folded down, then up, then back down again. Rarity had once told her that tri folded cuffs and collars were typically used as ostentatious displays of wealth.

Finally Twilight's inspections reached the other woman's face. She had, of course, instantly recognize Rainbow Dash's unmistakable rainbow hair, but unlike the unruly mane her friend normally wore, this sylphan woman's hair was elaborately and carefully braided, creating intricate patterns from the various colored strands. Her ears were long and thin, ending in small tufts of fur much like Twilight's own current, elfen, pair. Her wings were huge, far larger than Twilight's own. Twilight felt a quickly suppressed twinge of wing envy, consoling herself that her current form had larger mamaliaries than this other Rainbow Dash.

Imaginary Rarity found herself approving inspite of herself, seeing the eye of a design maestro.... "Not to my taste, darling, but... I am simply blown away, I simply must get the name of your designer," Imaginary Rarity murmured, her eyes bulging. She had forgotten that, since she was imaginary, this flesh and blood beauty could not hear her.

Rainbow Dash glanced up from the book in her hand. Twilight quickly scanned the title. It was Alice Unchained. Now what kind of book could that be?

Rainbow Dash flipped up energetically from the desk, bounding to her feet with a single flap of her wings. As she approached Fluttershy, she didn't walk. She glid. She reached out with both fragile looking arms, and wrapped them around the massive Fluttershy's legs. Rainbow Dash's wings soon followed the embrace.

Twilight belatedly realized that Rainbow Dash was far shorter than her own current self, barely coming up to Fluttershy's thighs. She only seemed huge because of her massive wingspan and her immense presence.

Imaginary Applejack noticed this too, and started to laugh distractingly "Now that just figures, don't it? How does it feel to be a wee little thing, Dashy?"

Imaginary Rainbow Dash scowled. "Yuk it up, don't you. She might be short, but at least she's AWESOME!" Imaginary Dash's scowl slowly faded away and her eyes lit up as she realized the pattern. "Plus I'll bet two bits against two mugs of your best cider that Applejack's gonna be shorter"

"Yer on." Imaginary Applejack hooted happily. "But instead of bits, 2 hours of you helping out on the farm."

Twilight wondered once more if she had already gone insane. She thought she hadn't, but wouldn't a crazy person think they were sane? She certainly thought she was sane during her own craziest episodes. She decided to focus on the world outside her head instead of inside.

Fluttershy kneeled carefully down, jostling Twilight against her back, and causing Angel Bunny to loose his footing on Fluttershy's head. He grabbed at her curls, clinging to them as he scrambled to pull himself back up. This set the tiny dragon curled warmly around Twilight's neck off, and Spike began snorting in smoky draconic laughter. Fluttershy didn't seem to notice the drama occurring upon her head as she placed a hand gently against Rainbow Dash's left cheek, then brushed her lips against Rainbow Dash's right one.

"I missed you too" Fluttershy whispered softly.

Rainbow Dash's head whipped back. "Who said anything about missing anyone?" She asked, coldly. Then her voice started to crack. "I just got something in my eye, that's all." She nuzzled her cheek back against Fluttershy's.

Twilight felt an odd tugging sensation in her stomach. She couldn't quite recognize it. Strange.

"So, how is the most amazing doctor in all the land doing?" Fluttershy asked, an unvoiced titter coloring her smile.

"Not badly" Rainbow Dash said, more formally now. She straightened up and adjusted her collar and cuffs. "But I miss being a sawbones on the ship. You're here to poach one of my assistants? Perhaps Gilda, she's not quite as clever as I, but she makes up for it in raw, brute talent."

"No, I didn't come for one of your assistants." Fluttershy said softly.

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened, then narrowed, her body going straight as a dagger. "You're hurt."

Fluttershy opened her mouth to respond, but Rainbow Dash was already on top of her, unbuckling straps and removing sections of the shiny black and white material that composed Fluttershy’s habit with such rapid ease that Twilight wondered if it was a design feature.

"No, I'm not hurt! Relax, please Dashie, I'm really not hurt. You don't have to... eep!"

Suddenly the buckles around her wrists came free, as did most of the rest of Fluttershy's outfit. The incredibly tall woman quickly wrapped her own wings around herself to maintain her dignity, but Twilight fell backwards on the floor with a far less dignified squeak. She landed awkwardly, wings pinwheeling instinctively and uncontrollably. She felt more than heard a crunch inside of one of her wings

"Was the... ah... girl attached to your back... hurt?" Rainbow Dash guessed, eying the crying, squirming pile of Twilight and clothing. There was an embarrassed flush in Rainbow Dash's cheeks.

"If she wasn't before, she certainly is now." Fluttershy said, sternly "You'd better fix this Dash"

"But wait, if she wasn't hurt before why did you come here? To hang out?" Rainbow Dash asked incredulously, as she kneeled on the ground, her gentle thin hands tracing the places where Twilight's wings hurt.

"That and to offer YOU the position on our next voyage, you silly little gosling." Fluttershy sighed and knelt down, patting Rainbow Dash sadly on the head, then she knelt further to plant a kiss on Twilight's cheek. "Relax, it's going to be O.K."

Imaginary Rainbow Dash was beside herself. "That insensitive little zapapple! I'm going to string her up by her tail! She hurt Twilight! You all saw that! She threw Twilight off of Fluttershy's back! She. Hurt. TWILIGHT!"

"Fluttershy, go fetch Gilda, and get the sprain kit." Dash ordered, as the small but strong doctor lifted Twilight onto the desk and rolled her onto her belly so her wings were up in the air.

Imaginary Applejack put a hoof firmly against Imaginary Rainbow Dash's shoulder. "Three things you hafta keep in mind. One, there's nothing you can actually do about it. Two, it was an accident, and three I recall hearing that somepony, blue colored, rather fast, might have been a Pegasus, knocked Twilight into a rather large mud-puddle when they first met. You did your best to make things right afterwards, now let this Rainbow Dash do her best to do the same."

"But I messed up making things right!" Imaginary Rainbow Dash protested.

"Then let's hope that this here one's a bit better at it than you are" Imaginary Applejack responded calmly.

"Yeah, you're ri-HEY!" Imaginary Rainbow Dash turned to glare at Imaginary Applejack.

Imaginary Spike shook his head, with a snort. "You two." He said warmly "Thanks for helping to keep Twilight's mind off of the pain."

Fluttershy returned with a medium height, burly woman in a set of un-ornamented green scrubs. Her face had a hawkish look, and feathers were braided into her hair.

At the same time Imaginary Pinkie Pie energetically shouldered her way through the wall while shouting "OH YEAH!".

"Who wants imaginary cupcakes?" Imaginary Pinkie Pie announced, bouncing into the room, cupcake in mouth and more on her back. "I brought cranberry, apple, and blueberry-chocolate-apricot-marshmallow-plum!" She glanced around at medical drama unfolding, the half eaten cupcake falling out of her mouth. "What... what did I miss!?"

Twilight started laughing out loud.

"Iiii think she might be going into shock" Rainbow Dash said. "Or maybe she's just cracked. It's not normal to be laughing right after getting a sprain this bad. Gilda, Fluttershy, hold the wings where I tell you." An electric razor began to buzz.

Twilight prefered not to think about the period of time after that, Gilda, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy had worked together to hold Twilight's wings in place, apply ice and anti-inflammatory drugs, made her swallow a number of pills, and splinted her wings. Not necessarily in that order.

Rainbow Dash looked her over, poking at the wings, voice muffled by the surgical tape she was holding in her mouth. "Does it hurt when I do this?"

"No" Twilight said shaking her head. trying to crane her neck to see what Rainbow was doing back there.

"And this?" Rainbow Dash pressured, one hand going into her doctor's bag while another continued to feel up Twilight's wings uncomfortably.

Some of the places Dr. Dash was touching were making Twilight feel very uncomfortable, but she wasn't going to give Dr. Dash the rise she was clearly looking for. "No" Twilight responded boredly.

"And this?" Rainbow Dash asked once more. There was a twisting sensation and a soft popping sound.

"N-YES OW OW OW" Twilight's wings shook in shock, then settled.

"Oh good, I was worried for a moment there" Rainbow Dash's mysterious grin looked quite mischievous. She stepped back with a needle full of blood. "You know, I have to thank you for getting injured here. It's not often I get to work on a hybrid like yourself. Did you know that your inherent magic field is quite abnormally shaped?" She leaned forwards to poke at the air around Twilight.

"I did not." Twilight responded carefully. Imaginary Pinkie Pie was standing next to her, bopping Dash's hoofs whenever she poked at the air. Twilight tried very hard not to look at it.

"Twilight! Watch this!" Imaginary Pinkie Pie shouted, then lept into Rainbow Dah, and began speaking out of the doctor's mouth.

"I'm Dr Rainbow Dash and I am saving lives! Laughter's the best medicine so go see Pinkie Pie's!" She sang out of Rainbow Dash's mouth, causing Twilight to out up in gales of laughter once more.

"Oh! A fellow science enthusiast!" Dr Dash said, grabbing Twilight around the shoulders. Her grin looked like it was going to cut her head in two. "Fluttershy, I will be glad to accompany the crew once more on our new voyage! I shall perform such wonderful experiments on our little victim!" Twilight shied cautiously as Dr. Dash's enthusiastic spit hit her cheek.

Gilda glared at Dash, then coughed to draw her attention. She put her hands on her hips "Victim? Really Doctor?"

Spike had grabbed a tissue and was rubbing Dash's spit off of Twilight's cheek.

"I mean volunteer, of course" Dash said, confidently. Gilda rolled her eyes. "I don't want to get mixed up in this." She stated matter of factly. "Unlike Mrs Rainboots here, I am not yet well known enough to get away with working for known pirates without getting arrested."

Angel Bunny spat on Spike's head, causing the tiny faery dragon to turn and try to bite the little demon.

Fluttershy nodded "That's your choice of course, Gilda. Please take good care of this place while Dashie is gone. I know she thinks of you as her closest friend who's not on the crew."

"So." Dash asked Twilight, with a raised eyebrow. "How did you get mixed up with this crazy bunch?"

A clockwork turtle trundled out from under the desk and across the hard tile floor to break up the fight between the dragon and the demon.

Twilight saw her chance for revenge as Dash lifted a cup of coffee from the table. She put on a quick poker face. "Oh. Fluttershy's kidnapping me." Twilight said, nonchalantly.

Lukewarm coffee sprayed everywhere, as Dr. Rainbow Dash choked on it. Nurse Gilda stepped gracelessly out of the flow.

"Fluuuuters?" Dr. Dash asked, rolling up her sleeves and ignoring Gilda's unhappiness to advance on Fluttershy.

"Yes?" Fluttershy responded with a gentle smile. She placed a hand gently on Dash's head, stopping the shorter woman's aggressive advance.

"Why are we kidnapping her, and why is she so calm about it?!" Dash demanded, hands on her hips now, forhead enveloped comically in Fluttershy's hand "Because I'm more and more certain that my test subject is a CRAZY PERSON!". She waggled her arms to demonstrate.

"You're one to talk" Gilda muttered as she knelt to clean the puddle of coffee on the floor.

"I heard that!" Dash countered over her shoulder at his assistant.

"I meant for you to!" Gilda shot back, before throwing the coffee soaked rag into Dr. Dash's face. She stomped out.

"Well, you see, the Captains want her for some reason. They need a hybrid to unlock The Gate to Arcadia so we can steal the source of magic, and she's the only one we deemed poorly protected enough to make a snatch attempt. Oh and, and, and," Fluttershy swung her hips with each and, and finished by clapping her hands together "She's ADORABLE!"

"Should I be jealous?" Dash began with a click of the tongue, an exaggerated wink and nudge directed towards Fluttershy.

"WHAT?" Twilight interrupted. She tried to mantle her wings, but the splints got into the way, causing her to double over in pain. "But there are dangerous things behind the gate! I read about the last expedition through! 500 people! 12 survivors, only 4 of which were whole in body and spirit! That's crazy!" Still, a thought occurred to her. The Gate to Arcadia was in Avalon, and that was also her local self's destination. So at least she would be headed in the right direction.

"Sign me up!" Dash said, somehow the excited beats from her wings were pushing the rainbows around the room.

There was an extended period of silence as the three pets fought in the background.

Dr. Dash sat on the desk, then sidled up to Twilight, who was in a caricature of the thinking pose. "If you think it's crazy, why did you go along with it, neh?"

"Because I didn't know!" Twilight exclaimed.

"You let people kidnap you when you didn't know what they planned to do with you?" Dash probed, her face inches from Twilight's.

Twilight leaned back uncomfortably, remembering the spit shower earlier. "...yes?" Maybe, she realized, she was a little bit immature too, though still better than the Twilight who was native to this universe.

"Well, I think you'll fit right in!" Fluttershy said gently, clapping Twilight on the shoulder and interrupting whatever Dr. Dash was about to say.

Twilight wasn't sure if she found that comforting or not, but she leaned gently into Fluttershy's soft hands anyway. "I guess."

Shining Armour had run, not walked, home gathering guardsmen as he did. He was going to confront this imposter replacing his sister and ask her to explain herself. When he reached the building he quickly set orders to secure the perimeter, then walked in, five guards in tow.

Twilight didn't seem to be in her rooms. He rushed to his Father's study, worried about what the imposter might have been doing to his parents. "Mother! Father! I have terrible news about Twilight!" He yelled as he burst in.

His parents had been hugging one another on the love seat. They turned to look at him. "... A bit late son" His father said after a moment "We already found out. She's been kidnapped."

Shining armor paused, uncertain if they were referring to Twilight's replacement with a doppleganger, or if the doppelganger had vanished. He made a snap decision to not tell his parents about the doppelganger to not worry them. He would chase after this missing Twilight, and find out which one it was, and only then let his parents know.

"Don't worry. As captain of the anti-pirate task force I swear to you, Lord Mayor and father, that I will get your daughter, my sister, back". He slammed his fist to his chest in a formal salute.

His father nodded. "You are authorised to bring all reasonable resources to bare. I trust you to exercise your discretion. Go forth and rescue my daughter, son"

"Yes SIR!" Shining said, his five guardsmen escort echoing it. He turned heels and marched out, planning the manhunt across the island, and giving orders to have a long range ship stocked... just in case.

Author's Note

Many thanks to Artimae, Smxsonic, gcsmith, and others for helping me through this stubborn writer's block. I had no clue how to sell my Rainbow Dash as a character, having come up with more than 10 different attempts each with a different musical inspiration. (One was inspired by the wizard of oz's "Marching song of the Winkles", and one was inspired by "Hello daddy, hello mom I'm you're cha-cha-cha-cha-cherri bomb!")

<< This upbeat song went into Rainbow Dash's character while I was working on it, especially the line "if the scatman can do it, so can you"

<< This is geno's forest theme, I'm using it as a representation of the asiatic influences that wound up shaping her in the end, including a loop of the FF7 victory theme to keep reminding myself of how awesome Rainbow Dash must be.

These tunes are what shaped Rainbow Dash's personality. (Check earlier chapters for music I used to shape the characters in them, I've added music)