Those Long, Lonely Nights
Those Long, Lonely Nights
It was, like all nights in Canterlot, a beautiful night. A night with bright stars on a lovely dark violet background. A night with the moon shining down in pale glory casting shadows on the city’s streets. It was a night specially crafted by Luna, because for one night she made the moon a little larger than normal. The Night of the Moon’s Dream.
For me, it was just another night of sorrow.
I was a noblepony of some standing. I was born into the aristocracy, but I never liked being part of the intrigue. I worked and strove. I tried my best to help everyone as I could. I hated to see others suffering or mistreated. To the downtrodden, I always gave. If they wanted, they found employment in my manor, and they were always free to leave. But I was always alone, and always busy.
Then I met…her.
My darling, sweet Song Lily.
She was everything to me. From the first moment I met her, she was everything.
She was not one of those I was helping. She was one who was helping ponies herself. A poor young mare named Jewel Heart was outcast by unsavory parents. We both wanted to give her shelter. Song Lily followed me, and asked what I would do for her. I told her I would give her a place to stay, and if she wished, I would give her work as a maid to help her get on her hooves.
Song Lily followed me home. When she saw my home and saw the how I was helping the ponies, she smiled. And oh, such a smile. She left, thanking me again with her smile. She left, taking with her my heart.
Then came the great game of courtship. We saw each other and always exchanged the lead. I would chase her, and she would elegantly dance away. She would chase me, but I always let her catch me. So it was, the back and forth, the elegant dance of love.
Finally, she was mine. And I was hers. We were married, and I felt as though I were riding higher than Celestia’s sun. It was a marriage of small fanfare, but it was a marriage I had longed for since birth. Song Lily and I, together in matrimony. Jewel Heart, the mare that brought us together and was now my personal maid, joined us by serving as a bridesmaid. It was perfect. She was perfect.
Though we were married at last, we continued on that elegant dance and moved a few steps farther. Our days became full of joy, or nights became full of passion. I gave my all for her. And she was there to guide me and keep me steady. My Song Lily, music in her name sung music for me, and I tried always to join her voice. With each passing day, I loved her more and more.
And then, cruel fate took her from the world. Cruel fate shattered my heart.
Why, I cried, why take her? WHY? If ever a soul deserved to live, it was my dear sweet Song Lily. Perfection in mortal form, she only ever had a kind and wise heart.
I wept.
I wept bitterly.
It was impossible. Without her, I was lost. I couldn’t go on.
I hated it.
I hated it all. I hated my sorrow. I hated happiness. I hated…everything.
I withdrew into a dark place. I stopped caring. All I did was cry and scream. The world did not exist. In my mind, I didn’t exist anymore. I drove all of my servants and all of those I rescued away. Only loyal Jewel Heart remained. And she stayed by my side and cared for me.
I hated what I was doing to her. She worked endlessly, tirelessly. She never took time for herself, and always cared for me. It was hard. Very hard. And even through my cloud of misery, I knew I was torturing her. I hated it. But I did nothing. I simply showed my hate by sinking further. Oh what I wouldn’t give, for just one more moment with my Song Lily. Such was my thought.
I was in that place a long time. I was there for more than a year.
Then came this night. This “Night of the Moon’s Dream”. It was a special night.
But for me, it was another night of sorrow.
All those passionate nights with my Song Lily, they turned into long, lonely nights. It was only at night that I stirred from my chambers and left my home. On those nights, I would gaze at the moon, and all I would see is her face. Tonight was no different.
Then she came.
Ruler of the night skies and the co-ruler of Equestria, the dark princess Luna descended as I stood in the shadows cast by the moon. She regarded me softly, and I merely sighed. Once, I would have been ecstatic to meet her Highness. But now I saw no joy. I began to move on.
“Stay.” She commanded softly. I turned back to her.
Her gaze was now maternal. She beckoned me near, and I complied. Best listen to her and return to my grief.
“Sorrow,” She said softly. “Thy eyes tell that tale. A tale of sorrow and loss.”
“Yes,” I replied.
“It is a dark nightmare to be trapped by sorrow.” She continued. “Thy heart is broken, and thou hast no desire or will to mend it.”
I began to weep.
“Hush, child,” She said, smiling sadly. Her eyes searched me. “Such is the pain of losing one that one has loved so much. Night is a time for love. As it is a time for sorrow.” She drew closer. “But it is also a time for memories. And truly, a time for healing.” She wrapped her neck around me in a mother’s embrace. “Tonight, thy heart will heal, and thou shall be free of thy waking nightmare. Come.”
She led me out of the shadows and into an empty block. A fountain of Celestia with outstretched, embracing hooves stood silently, water cascading down her form. The bright moon shone down on the water, rippling gently. It was a beautiful spot.
I remember this spot. It was here that I found Jewel Heart. It was here that I met my Song Lily.
It was here I asked her to be my wife.
I stopped. I was unable to walk farther. Luna turned to me and let out a long sigh. She took wing, floating above me silently. I stood, the moon shining behind me. I saw Luna’s horn glow with magic, and I felt her magic in my mind. She was searching. She was learning how deep my grief went. I saw the moon shining brighter.
I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to forget my Song Lily. I decided to leave. When I opened my eyes, I saw her.
Ethereal, and faded, but there she was, smiling at me, still beautiful, still perfect. My sweet Song Lily.
I fell over, weeping again.
Song Lily approached me, shaking her head slowly, a loving smile on her lips. “Aww,” She said, her voice slow and kind. “Are you still fretting about that incident this morning?
”
“Yes,” My voice rang in my head. It had not come from my mouth. I stopped my sobbing and looked. There I beheld myself. An apparition of me, regarding my wife. It was a younger, happier stallion. I scrambled to my hooves.
My apparition spoke again. “I dislike being angry.”
Song Lily stepped beside my apparition. “Don’t worry,” she said. “Sometimes you have to be strict. Not every poor pony became that way through ill fortune. Some ponies are victims of their own fate. And some ponies don’t want help; they want to take advantage of somepony’s kindness. Don’t feel bad about tossing him out on the street.”
“I know Song Lily, but I still don’t like it. “ My apparition said. “I dedicated my life to helping my fellow pony, and I feel sorry for that poor soul.”
“My dear, sweet husband,” Song Lily replied, embracing my apparition. “You are a wise and kind soul. You help ponies with no thought of glory or reward. That’s why I love you. You will always be precious to me. But getting a little hard does not make you heartless. It makes you just. So toughen up that heart a little. It won’t make you any less of a stallion, to be sure. “
The apparitions faded softly as the moonlight waned. “Yes,” I said. “I remember this. This was shortly after I was married to her. But…what is this?”
The moon’s light waxed again, and I felt Luna’s power in my mind again. I looked, as images of Song Lily floated by.
Sometimes playful, always happy. I heard her laughter. I remembered these images too. I remembered them all again. My soul was lost in grief for so long, I forgot this joy. I forgot the beauty behind her smile.
I heard my own voice again. “Tell me Song Lily,” my voice asked. “What makes you so strong?”
I saw my apparition again. And again Song Lily stood beside him. She looked and smiled.
“I think…it was my brother.” She said, smiling. “My brother was proud, brave, and honest. My parents were loving, but I bonded closely with him.”
I drew closer to the scene, closer to Song Lily. Eventually, my apparition faded. I stood next to her, looking directly into her eyes as she spoke.
“I was sad when my brother died. But I still have the strength he gave me. Because I have the memory of him in my heart. I remember all the good times I had with him together. That’s what kept me strong. And while his memory is still there, and I still love him, it isn’t my brother who gives me strength now.”
“What?” I asked. The word came from my own lips.
“It’s you.” She answered. “You’re the rock in my life now. You’re the one who gives me strength. Because you are my husband. You don’t know it, but you’re plenty strong yourself. You’re always helping other ponies, and that takes a strength few really have. And that’s why, if you die, I’ll have the strength to keep going forward. Because I had you to give me that strength. And the love I had for my brother gave birth to the love I now have for you. If you pass, the love I have for you will give birth to new love again. I won’t need to be sad.”
I sobbed. I had forgotten. I had forgotten all of what she told me. And here, in death, a ghost, a memory, whatever she was, she was dead right. We gave each other strength, and I foolishly threw it all away. I began to sink to the ground as the weight of my folly was revealed to me with a few simple words.
But then, I felt a hoof on my back. I looked up and saw Song Lily, clearer than ever before. I saw her. I felt her. I was sure I could even smell her.
“Come with me.” She said softly. “Let’s forget the troubles of the day. The moon is lovely tonight. Let’s dance our cares away under it.”
I stood, following her. She led me to the other side of the fountain, and the moon shined ever brighter on her features. I saw Luna swirling in the air above. I looked to my Song Lily, and she smiled at me again. She led me in a few steps, and soon, I lost myself again in love and joy.
We danced as we always used to, long into the night. As we danced, I felt all my sorrow disappear. As the moon lowered in the sky, she vanished slowly in a column of light. I felt my heartstrings tug, but I remembered her words. I remembered her love. And it made me strong.
I looked around again for Luna. She descended slowly and landed in front of her. I asked her what it was that she had done.
She smiled at me. Her regal face glistened with tears of her own. “Night is a time for dreams.” She said. “A time for memories. The moon as well sleeps through the night. And tonight was the Night of the Moon’s Dream. The moon dreamt thy own memories. We merely gave them to the moon. The moon returned them to thy eyes. And thus we said ‘thy heart will heal.’ Thy memories granted thee solace.”
“Yes.” I said, my voice failing. Tears of joy cascaded down my face. “Yes. I feel free again. I’m finally free! I’m finally…happy.” On that last word, my voice dropped as I remembered Jewel Heart.
Luna seemed to know and nodded at me. “Return to her.” She said before taking wing again. Yes, I thought. I will return to Jewel Heart. She deserves better than I had been treating her these past months. I made my way home with a heart now whole and full of new joy.
I shall do as my wife did, and let her memory give birth to new love.
The End.
This fic is dedicated to all those who grieve the loss of loved ones. Cherish your memories, for they will always give you joy.
